Michael Knowles reacts to the wildest “Rules for White People This Halloween” videos — from costumes you “aren’t allowed” to wear to the latest woke outrage over trick-or-treating. Is this cultural sensitivity gone too far… or proof that common sense is dead? Watch the hilarious (and horrifying) clips and see how Michael ranks the most ridiculous ones.
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What's new, Michael knows?
I see that candy bowl.
We're gonna solve the mystery.
I see you, Michael knows, but to get a lot of lows.
What's new, Michael?
No, no, no, no, no.
No, no, no, no, no.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
No, no, no, no, no.
No, no, no, no, no.
What's new, Michael knows?
There is no more dangerous holiday for white people than Halloween.
Report live for black TV.
White folks are dead.
We get the f ⁇ out of here.
I'm all dead.
That has at least been true for the last 10 years or so.
If a white guy or gal did anything, you know, wore a sombrero or something, they could lose their job, be kicked out of school.
It's very because if you wear the costume of someone else's culture, you've culturally appropriated.
If you don't wear the costume of someone else's culture, you've culturally erased anything you did.
Damned if you do, damned if you don't.
So I, as a passively white person, will try to try to help guide us through what white people are and are not allowed to do on Halloween, according to the great wisdom of TikTok.
Good morning.
This is just your daily reminder.
I know Halloween is coming up.
Everybody's going to start having costume parties.
If you're going to do sugar skull makeup, Katrina makeup, please be respectful.
Dia de los muertos is not Halloween at all.
Your intellect is as weak as your dollar.
It is not a costume.
You are not supposed to do the makeup or the costume at all in any way.
Scary, bloody, none of that.
Please do your research.
Educate yourself.
Our culture is not a costume.
Dia de los muertos has celebrated in Mexico and other Latin American countries, but particularly in Mexico.
And it is a celebration to honor those that have passed.
Shut up.
And I'm not going to do a huge lesson on what it is, but I'm just telling you, a lot of people start, they think they're just doing the makeup or whatever, but it's giving mocking and it's offensive.
So please be respectful if you do plan on doing that.
You are made of stupid.
Dia de los muertos.
That's Day of the Dead.
Is that not even, is that Halloween?
Does that go together with Halloween?
That's not even a Halloween thing.
It says you're not allowed.
But anyway, Day of the Dead is a pagan practice.
It's like a pagan occult practice that should be actively suppressed by society and government.
It's just very bad.
So you shouldn't I agree with her actually.
White people and all and other people should not dress up for Day of the Dead because they shouldn't observe it because it's very evil.
You shouldn't do that.
Okay, that was easy.
Next one.
Here are some more Halloween costumes that I don't want to see this year.
Except this time it is cultural appropriation.
First up is the Native American woman or Native American princess.
Next is anything Day of the Dead themed.
The Day of the Dead is a separate holiday.
And although it is close to Halloween, it celebrates something completely different.
Next is anything like this.
Or like this.
Or like this.
Some girls at my school were sushi rolls one year.
It was actually really cute.
They had like pillows.
Oh, and this.
The drunken Mexican stereotype.
Men or woman.
The Bollywood.
And then the last one is this Maui costume.
Now, I don't have an issue with anyone wanting to be Maui.
Hawaiians, if you do, please inform me.
I just don't know.
But my issue is with this costume specifically.
Because it is inflatable and gives the child a dark skin tone.
Thank you.
So you can dress up like someone with a dark skin tone who doesn't wear a shirt, but you can't have a dark skin tone.
And you can't, and I guess what?
The character is like fat, so it can't be inflatable.
So what's the, that's kind of weird though, isn't it?
Like, I get some people say you're not allowed to darken your skin to portray a particular character.
And I think that's silly, but okay.
But you're still allowed to portray the character.
If you're portraying a character, the whole thing is you are pretending to be like that person.
So you're allowed to be like that person in all things but their appearance?
I don't know.
I don't really get that.
Can a white guy play a non-right white character at a party or in a movie or in a play or not?
Everybody knows you never go fully to it.
What do you mean?
If so, then you got to go all the way.
If not, I don't.
That gal seems like, you know, very, very nice young gal, a little bit confused, obviously.
Weird that there's this focus on Day of the Dead.
No one should be doing any Day of the Dead stuff.
The other one that was weird, why can't you dress up like a hot Indian?
I get some of them are offensive or depicting kind of negative aspects of a culture, like, you know, drunk Mexicans or something like that.
So they say, well, don't depict a negative aspect of a culture.
But for the Indian one, it was just like a really hot lady looking elegant and beautiful.
And why can't you do that?
Just around the riverbed.
Just around the river.
Wow, he goes down.
I want one more.
Just around the river than beyond the shore.
Basically, you're saying you're only allowed to dress up in Western clothing, which is cultural erasure, I thought, I was told.
Okay.
Very, very confused by that one.
Next one.
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So it's that time of the year again where people like to dress up for Halloween.
So let's talk about what costumes are unacceptable and offensive.
As a general rule, dressing up as another culture or race is offensive and often racist.
This includes wearing Afro or dreadlock wigs, Native American headdresses, kimonos, sombreros, etc.
Other people's cultures are not costumes.
They are not fancy dress.
Another notably offensive costume, dressing as a terrorist.
Terrorist costumes often have very racist stereotypes of what a terrorist looks like.
And it's not funny.
It's boring.
Be more creative.
Halloween is obviously supposed to be fun and people wearing costumes like these means that not everyone gets to enjoy Halloween.
Yeah, we don't want to offend the terrorists.
So make sure you don't offend any terrorists.
Silence!
I kill you!
The silliest part of this argument actually has nothing to do with the costumes.
It's when she goes, you know, it's not funny.
It's boring.
It's boring.
Because that's so disingenuous.
That's so insincere.
If your objection to someone's costume is that it's boring, then okay, that's fine.
You don't need to be entertained by my costume.
My costume is not here for your entertainment.
That's fine.
But they don't really mean that.
What they mean is I'm deeply offended by this.
I don't want you to do it.
You better stop.
But they're affecting this kind of millennial irony and disinterest and detachment.
It's just kind of boring.
It's like when the libs, when you argue about any political issue that they don't have a good answer on, notably transgenderism is an extreme example of this.
And they say, well, look, I just don't care.
I just don't care what you want.
I just, okay, you don't care.
Good.
You don't care.
I do care.
So let's do it my way because you don't care.
So what do you even care about like marriage, right?
We want to have like normal marriage and not abolish marriage and the law and redefine it all sorts of ways.
They say, it's just like, I don't even care.
Why do you even care?
Oh, good.
I'm glad you don't care.
Oh, you find it boring and you don't care and you're too cool for school.
Great.
That's good because I care and I find it really interesting.
So let's do it my way then if you really don't care.
Oh, but you do care and you find it very interesting and you don't.
I don't find it boring and you want to tell me what to wear because you don't want me to offend a terrorist.
You know, I actually, wow, how did I miss it?
I did, even after my in-depth investigation.
She has the sign.
I should have known from the moment the first frame appeared on screen.
This was not going to go well.
Just a reminder to everyone that being a gypsy for Halloween is cultural appropriation, so don't do it.
See it every year for Halloween, and I know you girls want to look cute with little coin belts and everything like that, but don't do it.
I love this video because she's saying you're not allowed to dress up like a gypsy, because that's offensive to gypsies.
A gypsy.
But she still uses the word gypsy, which we are also told is offensive to gypsies.
You're supposed to call them Rome people or Roma people.
That's like the new term.
You're not allowed to say gypsy.
Gypsy is apparently a racial slur.
Gypsy!
So don't say gypsy.
But anyway, she doesn't know that.
She's like woke enough to tell people not to dress up like gypsies, but not woke enough to know, know the present status of the word gypsy.
That's cute.
I like that.
I like that.
That's nice.
Gypsy.
Next one.
I've compiled a list of men's Halloween costumes that I think are red flags so that you ladies can protect yourselves this year because knowledge is power.
Starting off with a very popular one, a prisoner.
He has a bland personality.
He's lazy and barring.
He'll never buy you flowers or take you out to dinner.
His idea of a date is watching a movie in his bed.
Next, we have an angel.
He's definitely fucking but the extra cringy type.
He wears wife beaters and spends his free time making thirst straps to post on TikTok.
Okay, this next one is probably going to be the most popular one this year.
Ken.
Any guy who does Ken this year who's not with his Barbie girlfriend is a pick-me boy.
I love the Barbie movie so much.
It's so empowering.
My mom is my hero.
He whines in all the time.
He'll definitely complain about an ex who broke his heart and now he's such a good guy.
I bet 20 bucks that he cheats on you and then blames you.
I like her.
I like this girl.
She doesn't understand the Barbie movie, but I like her attitude.
Male staple for many years, but he's kind of a he'll definitely fat shame you if you weigh over 100 pounds.
He only seeks out solid tens, but he's like a six at best, and then a four when he opens his mouth.
Police officer.
He's kind of a perv.
Duh.
A cowboy.
This can go one of two ways.
He's either the normal type or he's the shirtless type.
Now, if he's shirtless, he is a but the type with the American flag above his bed, and he definitely peaked in high school.
This next one, it is all I saw last year.
Peaky blinders.
This costume seems fine at first glance, and that's why it's one of the most dangerous ones.
If you do so much as make eye contact with one of these guys, they will somehow wiggle their way into your life and definitely become your next toxic boyfriend.
Last and probably not least, Top Gun.
This costume's actually fine.
I'm just really bored and tired of it.
All my ladies out there, I sincerely hope you take this information to heart and dodge any guys in these costumes.
And I hope you stay safe from stupid, stupid boys this Halloween.
I like her.
I like her.
I like her attitude.
She's wrong about certain things.
Like, I'm not saying I agree with her analysis on it.
Even she's saying the guys who dress up like Ken.
I assume this is probably that's a year old video or something.
So the guys who dress up like Ken, they're pickmies.
They're trying to appeal to your feminism, but don't believe them.
Don't believe the male feminists.
I totally agree with that.
She's totally right about that.
Jesus, hold on for one second.
Okay.
SUBLIME!
She misunderstands why Barbie's a great movie because it's actually really based in Trad, and Greta Gerwig is one of the great directors of our generation.
And as I've said, Greta Gerwig is essentially an icon of social left-wing thinking.
That's not the point.
I like her.
I like her take.
She's hip.
She's cool.
That was a palate cleanser after the other videos.
It is almost Halloween, and this is your daily reminder not to wear any of this, this, or this, because it's not appreciating.
It's appropriating.
Hold on a second.
That lady, who is of some kind of generally swarthy variety, she's wearing what appears to be an Oxford shirt.
That doesn't appear to be from the Taino, the traditional dress of the Taino people, or I don't know.
I don't actually know her ethnic background.
That looks downright British.
Is she appropriating?
My half, my, half my culture is not your culture.
Spoken like men.
You don't.
And we're only talking about wearing clothes like that like one day a year.
You might wear that all the rest of the year.
You can't do that.
Maybe I'm going to make a video about what other kinds of people can't wear the rest of the year.
