The Michael Knowles Show - Michael Knowles RANKS The Greatest Philosophers Aired: 2025-04-05 Duration: 18:30 === John Locke's Warning (05:59) === [00:00:00] Everyone knows that the purpose of reading philosophy is to make yourself seem smart at parties. [00:00:06] The problem that people have is they haven't actually read philosophy. [00:00:10] Now I've read a little bit of philosophy. [00:00:12] Not a lot, but in the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king. [00:00:15] So my team has asked me to provide the definitive ranking of philosophers. [00:00:21] They have assembled the philosophers. [00:00:24] They will present the philosophers to me. [00:00:27] And I will place them where they deserve in the hierarchy. [00:00:31] Take it away. [00:00:35] There are five tiers. [00:00:37] S, A, B, C, F. S tier, that's galaxy brain. [00:00:42] A tier, just below, means there could and maybe should be a college course dedicated to that person. [00:00:49] B tier, it's good airplane reading. [00:00:51] You know, good way to pass the time. [00:00:53] Productive use of your precious moments on Earth. [00:00:56] C tier, we're getting down to the Reddit tier. [00:00:59] These are the gurus that the big brains on Reddit really like. [00:01:04] Then you get down to the F tier. [00:01:06] You're at the bong rippers. [00:01:07] You're at the philosophers where you have to just tear rips from a bong before you're like, hey man, you know, you ever, but actually man, I got a quote for you, you ever heard about, you know, that's the lowest tier. [00:01:21] Let's take it away. [00:01:23] Socrates, the galaxy bro. [00:01:25] I'm glad we're starting off easy. [00:01:27] Socrates is the beginning of Western philosophy. [00:01:31] We don't have any writings from Socrates, so we know Socrates through the writings of his student, Plato, and then down through his student's student, Aristotle. [00:01:42] So Socrates, he's a galaxy brain. [00:01:46] He gets it. [00:01:47] Nietzsche! Where does one put Nietzsche? [00:01:52] Nietzsche was intelligent, at least, and he was wrong about everything, but he was wrong in a kind of delightful way. [00:01:58] He's known for hits such as the claim that God is dead, for the notion of the will to power, for the critique of Christian morality. [00:02:07] His philosophy was important to the rise of Nazism, not to have guilt by association for the philosophers, but. [00:02:15] I'm not going to say that you have to be totally right. [00:02:19] ...to be an important philosopher, that one could be edified by reading, even to figure out where not to go wrong. [00:02:25] So I put him at... [00:02:26] I'm putting him at C tier, actually. [00:02:29] I was going to maybe give him B tier, but I'm giving him C tier. [00:02:32] He's so wrong that the good that you'll get out of reading him doesn't... [00:02:40] It doesn't push him up another notch. [00:02:42] You should read him as a bit of a warning. [00:02:44] And because he's a good observer of the times in which he lived, but he's just wrong. [00:02:50] Okay, next one. [00:02:51] John Stuart Mill. [00:02:53] Mill gets better grades than Nietzsche, so he'll get B-tier. [00:02:57] John Stuart Mill is a big promoter of utilitarianism. [00:03:02] He's the author of On Liberty is probably his most famous work. [00:03:06] Utilitarianism is usually summarized as promoting the The greatest good and happiness for the greatest number of people. [00:03:13] So it's good airplane reading. [00:03:16] He's a very intelligent guy. [00:03:18] He's wrong, but he's wrong in a really instructive way because he starts to show you where our whole civilization really started to go off the rails intellectually. [00:03:26] So don't buy into him, but he's an amiable reader who will give you a lot to consider. [00:03:30] Next one. [00:03:31] John Locke. [00:03:33] Edmund Burke, one of my favorite philosophers, considered one of the founders of... [00:03:38] Modern conservatism. [00:03:39] Edmund Burke said that John Locke's Second Treatise on Government was one of the worst books ever written. [00:03:45] Locke is the father of liberalism. [00:03:47] I want to lower him a little bit. [00:03:50] However, John Locke does in fact contribute something to good philosophy in as much as he contributed a fair bit to Catholic social teaching. [00:04:04] Pope Leo XIII's Rerum Novarum, one of the great encyclicals in which he outlines Catholic social teaching, does in fact draw on John Locke. [00:04:13] So he really does make a contribution to serious things. [00:04:17] I'd put him, he's B-tier. [00:04:19] He gets, John Locke gets B-tier. [00:04:22] He's important. [00:04:27] He's good. [00:04:28] He gets better marks than Nietzsche. [00:04:30] Next one. [00:04:32] Karl Marx. [00:04:36] He goes down with Nietzsche. [00:04:38] He's not a total bong ripper. [00:04:40] He's not a total joke in his personal life. [00:04:42] He kind of was because he was just a... [00:04:44] Disreputable man. [00:04:45] Physically filthy. [00:04:47] Just disgusting. [00:04:48] Unhygienic. A total mooch off his buddy Angles for his whole life. [00:04:52] Just his family killed themselves. [00:04:55] I suspect having something to do with the general aura around this man. [00:05:00] He also wrote poetry about demons and stuff. [00:05:03] He makes some valid critiques of politics, but he's totally wrong about everything. [00:05:12] He's C-tier. [00:05:13] He's close to being a bong ripper. [00:05:15] I'm tempted to put him a little bit below Nietzsche, because Nietzsche was probably smarter, or at least funnier to read. [00:05:23] But, no, he's a Reddit tier guru, and people on Reddit love Karl Marx, so he's C-tier. [00:05:30] Ayn Rand. [00:05:33] I'm going to catch a lot of heat for this. [00:05:35] I'm going to catch a lot of heat for this. [00:05:37] Ayn Rand is a bong ripper. [00:05:39] She's a bong ripper. [00:05:41] She's F-tier. [00:05:43] Michael, you're putting Ayn Rand, an erstwhile hero of the American right, below Karl Marx. === Balance of Nature Supplements (02:23) === [00:05:48] What's the matter with you, Michael? [00:05:49] Are you a commie? [00:05:50] No, it's just... [00:05:51] She's not a serious thinker. [00:05:54] That's the problem. [00:05:56] She's not a serious thinker. [00:05:57] And look, there are plenty of people who are not serious thinkers. [00:05:59] She's not a serious thinker. [00:06:01] And she wasted so much of my time when I was forced under duress to read Atlas Shrugged. [00:06:09] She is a modernist, atheist, Radical individualist. [00:06:37] What about that is concert? [00:06:38] What about that am I supposed to like? [00:06:40] I get that some of her writings get a little saucy, you know? [00:06:45] That's kind of entertaining. [00:06:46] It's also funny that the plot lines of all of her books are that super hot, rich, successful gigachads all just really, really want to sleep with Ayn Rand. [00:06:56] My friend Spencer Clavin pointed that out one time to me, and he sort of says, like, okay, Ayn, you know, yeah, all right, sure, maybe. [00:07:03] So anyway, she's F-tier. [00:07:05] I spent hours of my life that I will never get back reading those books. [00:07:09] There's so much more to say. [00:07:10] First, though, go to balanceofnature.com. [00:07:12] Use promo code Knowles. [00:07:13] I love Balance of Nature fruits and veggie supplements. [00:07:18] They are the easiest way that I've found to get my daily fruits and vegetables when life is busy. [00:07:23] Life is very busy. [00:07:24] Really, mostly because I have three young kids, but also because I travel a lot, work a lot. [00:07:28] You know how our bodies are designed to get nutrients from actual fruits and veggies, right? 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[00:08:15] That is balanceofnature.com, promo code NOLS. [00:08:18] Aristotle, thank goodness, S-tier. [00:08:20] He's back to S-tier. [00:08:21] Aristotle, one of the greatest thinkers ever to live, write about pretty much everything. [00:08:25] If you can only read five books in your life, the Nicomachean Ethics must be among those books. [00:08:31] He's just right about almost everything. [00:08:33] Forget about even ethics, politics, maybe physics, too. [00:08:38] I'm not even joking. [00:08:39] Increasingly, I think physics is vindicating Aristotle over the more modern scientific writers. [00:08:47] S tier, no doubt. [00:08:48] Next one. [00:08:49] Voltaire. How charitable am I feeling? [00:08:57] It's obviously between C and F. F. He gets F. There's this phrase that is often attributed to him. [00:09:06] It's probably his most famous quote. [00:09:07] I do not agree with what you say, but I'll defend to your death the right to say it. [00:09:12] I don't think he actually said that. [00:09:13] There's no evidence that he actually ever said that. [00:09:15] And it's wrong. [00:09:16] My version of it is, I might not agree with what you say, and I will kill you for saying it. [00:09:22] I don't think he said that. [00:09:23] But he says all sorts of nonsense. [00:09:25] Christopher Hitchens loved to quote this one line from Voltaire. [00:09:28] Those who will make you believe absurdities will also inflict upon you terrible cruelties or something like that. [00:09:36] I don't know. [00:09:37] Anyway, he was awful. [00:09:38] He's just truly wrong about everything. [00:09:41] That's it. [00:09:42] He gets F. The more I talk about him, the more certain I am that he's in the bong ripper tier of philosophy. [00:09:48] Next one. [00:09:50] Ah, that's a nice palate cleanser. [00:09:51] S-tier, write about everything. [00:09:53] I've said so far with Socrates, Aristotle, these guys write about basically everything. [00:09:58] Thomas Aquinas, just write about everything. [00:10:01] Just... And he also wrote about everything. [00:10:06] In fact, his most famous work is the Summa Theologica. [00:10:11] Traditionally said, it's really the Summa Theologiae, but we're being pedantic. [00:10:15] In any case, he's... [00:10:17] There's a legend that he would write three books at a time. [00:10:20] Maybe it's not legendary. [00:10:21] Maybe it's just true. [00:10:22] Anyway, he's right about everything. [00:10:24] If you could read one thinker, read him. [00:10:32] I'm getting whiplash. [00:10:34] Voltaire. Thomas Aquinas. [00:10:36] The great scholar Andrew Tate. [00:10:38] He wouldn't call himself a philosopher. [00:10:41] To be fair to Andrew Tate, I don't think he would call himself a philosopher, so I don't want to... [00:10:46] Knock the guy. [00:10:48] I mean, he does leave himself open to some criticism on account of all the things he's done and said, but I don't blame him for being included in this list. [00:10:57] I would say he's not a philosopher. [00:11:01] Not exactly a systematic thinker, so he would have to go with the bong rippers. [00:11:07] Zeno! Zeno. [00:11:09] Not quite my man, but he's cool. [00:11:11] Founder of Stoicism. [00:11:12] A lot of people like Stoicism now. [00:11:16] It's really big in Silicon Valley. [00:11:18] It was big in the 80s and 90s with Wall Street types. [00:11:22] Definitely not S tier. [00:11:25] Maybe not A tier. [00:11:28] Maybe B tier. [00:11:29] It's between B tier and A tier. [00:11:32] Well, look, if we're going to put John Stuart Mill in B tier. [00:11:34] Yeah, he's in B tier. [00:11:35] Stoicism goes to B tier. [00:11:41] S tier. [00:11:42] No question. [00:11:43] What other philosophers could we rank Harry Sisson in with? [00:11:47] His work on politics is not very impressive. [00:11:52] But his work on Eros, on the relation between men and women, which has recently been published, is actually more impressive. [00:12:01] It impresses itself upon your mind. [00:12:03] Even when you want to get it out of your mind, it just stays in your mind. [00:12:05] You want to spoon out your mind's eye because you actually read those texts. [00:12:09] Anyway, If we're going to be fair to Andrew Tate, and Ayn Rand, I think we have to put... [00:12:16] We can't put Sisson above them, so I would say he gets F-tier. [00:12:21] But with his new work on romantic love, maybe he's a young man, maybe he has the potential to rise up. [00:12:30] Martin Luther! [00:12:32] Also, to be fair to Martin Luther, I don't know that he would call himself a philosopher, and he really wasn't, not just with prejudice because of my mackerel-snapping papism, but he's not really a philosopher of Protestantism. [00:12:45] There are many other more serious thinkers in Protestantism. [00:12:47] In fact, Hilaire Belloc pointed out, for Martin Luther, Martin Luther was more a political figure. [00:12:53] The splitting away of the early days of the Protestant Reformation, which is better understood as a revolution, really is Martin Luther. [00:13:09] So I don't see a lot of systematic thought in Martin Luther. [00:13:12] Martin Luther contradicts himself throughout his career and it's not really, Hilaire Belloc makes the point, the real genius thinker of Protestantism is John Calvin. [00:13:23] So Calvin might, even though I think Calvin's wrong, he might get Plato. [00:13:43] Okay, Plato's back at... [00:13:44] I guess we have to put him in S tier. [00:13:47] Even though he's not as good as Aristotle. [00:13:51] Aristotle is more correct than Plato. [00:13:53] But I put Socrates in S tier, and we only really know. [00:13:57] We have a sense of Socrates from Plato. [00:13:59] So it would seem wrong to put Plato in A tier and Socrates in S tier. [00:14:04] So Socrates, Plato, and Aristotle all get S tier. [00:14:07] But make no mistake, Aristotle is the best of them. [00:14:10] Next one. [00:14:12] Epicurus. I would be very tempted by Epicurianism if I were not Christian. [00:14:19] Epicurus believed that the highest good to be sought in life was pleasure. [00:14:25] Not merely, Aristotle would say that man seeks happiness. [00:14:30] And happiness he defines as excellent rational activity done in accordance with virtue. [00:14:37] That's how he defines it in the Nicomachean Ethics. [00:14:39] Zeno and Stoicism would say that the highest good to be sought is virtue, which is a little different. [00:14:46] And Epicurus would say that the highest good to be sought is pleasure. [00:14:50] So not merely... [00:14:52] Happiness, which results in pleasure, but pleasure itself. [00:14:55] So the maximizing pleasure and minimizing pain. [00:14:59] And so one can imagine this as a kind of degraded hedonism, where you're just doing a bunch of drugs and sleeping with hookers and, I don't know, like riding roller coasters for your... [00:15:10] Just kind of stuffing your face with pizza, I don't know. [00:15:13] But there's a higher-minded Epicureanism. [00:15:17] Just at all, we're going to listen to the best music, look at the best art, consider the best philosophy, you know. [00:15:22] But that's not really the end in itself. [00:15:24] That's mistaking. [00:15:26] That's putting the cart before the horse, I guess. [00:15:28] So he gets, Epicurus gets, he gets B tier. [00:15:33] I'll give him B tier. [00:15:35] It's definitely better than some of the other guys, but he just kind of goes off. [00:15:39] And in some ways, maybe I should put him lower, because Epicureanism is so tempting. [00:15:44] Next one. [00:15:46] Alistair McIntyre. [00:15:47] Now we're moving back up to... [00:15:48] Ooh, do we go S-tier? [00:15:51] Alistair McIntyre is still alive, I think. [00:15:55] Contemporary philosopher who revived virtue ethics. [00:15:58] Very famous, very popular book after virtue. [00:16:02] Highly recommended reading. [00:16:03] Is he S-tier? [00:16:04] I mean, he's not himself Aristotle. [00:16:07] He's really, really good and important. [00:16:09] He's at least A-tier. [00:16:11] He gets A-tier. [00:16:12] Is he the first A-tier? [00:16:12] I don't know if we've had other A-tiers. [00:16:18] Descartes. There's a joke I used to know about a horse and a bar, and the punchline is Descartes before the horse, but I don't remember the whole joke. [00:16:27] I said it in an interview, though, some years ago. [00:16:30] Descartes is famous for mind-body dualism. [00:16:32] His most famous line is cogito ergo sum. [00:16:36] I think, therefore, I am, and mind-body dualism, which is wrong. [00:16:40] That also. [00:16:41] Mistakes how human nature works in the relation of the body to the mind or the soul. [00:16:46] Because actually Aristotle's right about that. [00:16:48] We're hylomorphic creatures. [00:16:49] So body and soul are inextricably linked here on Earth. [00:16:53] So because of that, and Descartes is responsible for a lot of modern philosophical errors. [00:16:58] So he gets B tier. [00:17:01] Low B tier. [00:17:04] Carl Schmitt. [00:17:06] Come on, dude. [00:17:07] Don't. Are you going to get me on record here? [00:17:09] So, Carl Schmitt... [00:17:11] Carl Schmitt, he was a Nazi, okay? [00:17:16] So, let's just get that on the table to begin with. [00:17:20] Schmitt was a Nazi, though he eventually fell out of favor, I think, with the Nazis. [00:17:23] But whatever, man, you know, there were plenty of thinkers who were Nazis. [00:17:27] Heidegger got rehabilitated, so let's... [00:17:29] So, okay, we'll get that off there. [00:17:32] But he made important contributions to political philosophy. [00:17:35] ...to political theology. [00:17:36] He's probably most famous for the friend-enemy distinction. [00:17:40] The politics ultimately comes down to friend and enemy. [00:17:43] The notion that the sovereign is he who makes the exception. [00:17:49] That's a famous quote of Carl Schmitt. [00:17:52] Anyway, all I'm saying is he... [00:17:54] Like, look, man, Hitler drank water, okay? [00:17:58] That's not an indictment of water. [00:17:59] So can we... [00:18:00] It's not an indictment of watercolor painters and dog owners. [00:18:03] So let's just... [00:18:05] He's at least good airplane. [00:18:07] Let's put it that way. [00:18:09] Maybe even a little better than that. [00:18:11] Maybe we're talking high B, low A. We'll leave him in B for now. [00:18:15] That's it. [00:18:16] So, who wins? [00:18:18] Socrates, Plato, Aristotle, and above them even, St. Thomas Aquinas. [00:18:27] Who loses? [00:18:28] Internet influencers and Ayn Rand.