Bill Maher and Andrew Schultz clash over U.S. foreign aid, debating whether Gulf states or Israel offer safer havens while criticizing unconditional support for Gaza atrocities. The host transitions to tactical BORTAC training, then analyzes a DOJ press conference regarding an unsealed assassination attempt on Donald Trump and friendly fire theories at the White House. Finally, the episode examines potential economic devastation from a Strait of Hormuz blockade and Iran's stalled nuclear negotiations, suggesting geopolitical instability threatens global oil markets. [Automatically generated summary]
Transcriber: CohereLabs/cohere-transcribe-03-2026, WAV2VEC2_ASR_BASE_960H, sat-12l-sm, script v26.04.01, and large-v3-turbo
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Why Americans Question Aid00:15:19
Andrew Schultz recently sat down with Bill Maher on Club Random, a show that's according to Bill a chill space for him to hang out with friends.
Bill clearly expected a victory lap.
He thought he was inviting a fellow comedian who would nod along to his outdated talking points.
He was wrong.
What began as a standard discussion on free speech spiraled into a heated debate over America's relationship with Israel.
Maher attempted to use his classic quote-unquote Ivy League logic, arguing that we must support Israel simply because it's the only place in the Middle East where a Westerner could survive a week.
It was a Shallow, moralistic argument that completely ignored the geopolitical and economic reality on the ground.
Schultz wasn't having it as he systematically dismantled Bill's democracy or nothing stance.
Let's get into the video and I will give you my two cents on it.
I mean, I'm sure you've seen on Twitter, like everybody's talking about Israel and like it seems like there's waning support in America for Israel.
Oh, cool.
That's an understatement.
Absolutely.
So, here's an example.
And just so you guys know, Andrew Schultz is not smart, okay?
He just kind of leads with wherever the wind is.
Which you hear people say all the time, like obviously the politicians have no clue how to communicate, most of them, and they're just like, Well, this is our closest ally.
And then you get asked why, and they go, Oh, they don't know because they're just being told that they're the closest ally.
Well, who's the closest ally in the Middle East?
Regardless of what it is, it's like, I think.
Well, that's very important.
They're the closest ally in the Middle East because they're the only country in the entire Middle East that anyone in this country, these hypocrites, would even.
Survive for a week in.
You wouldn't want to live.
50 IQ.
You can go to literally anywhere in the Middle East and survive for a week.
Now, obviously, I know he's trying to be hyperbolic here, but I think bro doesn't realize that like all the Gulf states are actually cleaner and safer than the United States.
Okay?
No joke.
Saudi Arabia, Kuwait, Qatar, UAE.
Bro, people leave their car doors open, dude.
Live.
I don't know if that's true anymore.
Like the UAE, I've been to Al Qaeda.
The UAE is not the Muslim world.
If you're talking about the Muslim world.
But they're in the Middle East.
That's what you're talking about.
Okay.
But you're talking about a tiny, tiny percentage of what typical life is like in 60 Muslim countries.
You're talking about a little enclave that they carved out so Westerners could come and spend their money.
Right.
We're talking about far less than 1% of the way life is like.
You would not want to live even in a moderate country like Jordan.
And your wife certainly wouldn't enjoy living there.
Yeah.
Okay.
You're making.
Jordan has Christians, dude.
What?
Logical points.
Well, these are factual points.
Yeah, sure, they're factual.
They are.
Yeah, but it doesn't matter.
It's like, I gave you another option that is true.
Well, but it's.
I think.
Matter of fact, I would even argue that life is more relatable to the average American in the UAE or in Dubai than it is in.
Again, but it's a disingenuous argument.
Why is it disingenuous?
Because I just told you.
Because they cut off what he said.
He clearly said.
I would argue for an American life is more relatable in the Gulf states than probably Israel.
It's interesting how Bill Maher cut that out.
So, do you guys catch that?
Look, I don't like Andrew Schultz, but it's very clear he edited that part out.
You said you can't live there, and I was like, here's another place.
Because it's not typical.
I said the entire Middle East.
So, if I, okay, so look, here's the thing.
Here, if I say you have to move somewhere in America, and I'm going to throw a dart at a map with a blindfold on, and Could you survive anywhere else in America where that drop?
You absolutely could.
You could live in Salt Lake City.
You could live anywhere in America.
Yeah.
If I throw a dart at a map of the entire all 60 Muslim majority countries, will you say you'll live there?
I could survive in every single one of them.
You couldn't.
I don't know.
What?
For a week, yeah.
How could I not?
I'm not a gay guy.
I could live in any single one of them.
In Kabul, your wife would have to wear a head to toe burqa every week.
That's on her.
Okay.
You're talking about me?
First, it went from you won't survive.
Now it's your wife will wear a burqa.
It's like, what, bro?
You just switched it again.
Surviving.
You're like, I could live very comfortably in every single country.
Like, again, let's not move the goalposts.
You're asking if I could live comfortably.
You could live with yourself.
He would live actually better if we're going to go down that road.
His money would go 100x.
Knowing that that's how women are treated in your world.
I hate this.
Bro, here, yeah, okay, damn.
Let's think of Bill Maher as such a sip.
Bro, Bill Maher, you literally, you want to defend women, but like, you fucking, we're talking all this shit about Laura Loomer.
Spreading fucking rumors on her, but you want to sit here and champion women?
Bro, these simps are moral arts.
Such hypocrites.
Argument like we give a fuck out women around the world.
Like, I know, but this is like.
Hey, you said you'd be happy.
This is such a bullshit argument.
If you noticed, Andrew was about to make a strong point before Bill interrupted him.
I think what he was going to say was that politicians treat ordinary Americans like they're dumb and expect them to blindly accept that Israel is our greatest ally without ever questioning it.
Yup, and that all Muslims are terrorists.
It's a propaganda push.
What does that even mean?
Why are people not allowed to question it?
Why exactly is Israel America's greatest ally?
Is it simply because it's the only democracy in the Middle East, as Bill said, which seems to be their go to argument?
How does that alone make a country our greatest ally?
Bill Maher interrupted him because he knew exactly where Andrew was heading.
He didn't want him to expose or challenge the unquestioned support for Israel, since Bill himself is a big supporter.
Instead, Bill tried to pivot by saying Andrew couldn't live in any Muslim.
And he's supposed to be a progressive, by the way.
And Israel literally is the anti, like, completely antithetical to liberal progressive values.
They call themselves a democracy, but they're an apartheid state that occupies the indigenous people.
country.
And to be fair, Andrew probably couldn't live in most of them, especially Afghanistan.
But that wasn't the point.
The real question, which Bill brilliantly tried to bury, is this If America is sending billions of dollars in taxpayer money to Israel every year, why aren't ordinary Americans allowed to ask what they're getting in return?
How exactly does this benefit them?
And if being a.
Yeah, that's an anti Semitic question.
Democracy is the main qualification, then let's ignore Israel for a.
That's the question that gets you cooked.
Moment.
Why isn't Brazil or Venezuela, both democracies, America's greatest allies?
Let's see how Andrew forces him into a corner where Bill quietly agrees with him, even though he wouldn't admit it out loud.
This is such a bullshit argument.
I didn't say happy.
I said I could live.
You keep moving the goalpost.
Okay, I'm sorry.
Let's stay on what you say.
I could live easily in every single one of the countries outside of the war.
Great alert.
Peace time?
Easily.
Easily.
You could easily live in Kabul, Afghanistan.
Is there war happening?
Is the Taliban doing their thing?
No war.
No war.
War's over.
War's over?
I could kick it in Kabul for a month easy.
Yeah, bro.
All right, this guy's ridiculous, man.
Enjoying life.
Now, am I doing stand up every night?
No.
But could I take a little vacation?
I don't know if you're kidding with me.
I'm just telling you, I think it's.
I'll give you two options.
Either you're kidding or this is stupid.
Here we go.
That's this pretentious.
Yeah, super fucking pretentious.
This is why nobody likes Bill Marr, bro.
This is why nobody likes this nigga, man.
Bro is fucking insufferable.
Like, dude, he reminds me of people from like New England, man.
Like, this is like super cocky, pretentious, I'm smarter than you, fucking like bullshit.
You're doing the thing that you could live in Kabul and be happy or get by, or you could be no big deal.
You're doing the thing that gets.
It's not virtue signaling to say.
I didn't say virtue signaling, but that is, if you don't agree with me, you're dumb, is why Trump is elected.
And this is what Democrats do.
Yeah, but sometimes dumb is dumb.
Yeah, but people are dumb.
So deal with that shit.
Like, you know what I mean?
Like, stop acting like everybody's smart.
Like, this is the problem is like, you have all these people that go to Ivy League schools, and they're like, we know better than everybody else, and we'll just tell you what to do.
And you guys are all boom, told y'all.
Never seen this clip before.
I already knew.
Stupid, and I know you feel like you want this, but you don't really want this.
And if you disagree with me, you're an idiot.
And then all of a sudden they go, you know what?
You guys, I'm voting for that one.
And it's very simple.
Yeah, that's true too.
So we can't speak down to people if we know that they're going to react emotionally.
I guess what I'm trying to say is even with the, even with the, like, for example, the Israel conversation, right?
So if I know people are reacting emotionally to this, right?
Who is the burden on, if we have this deep connection with Israel, which I believe we do, right?
I think the burden is on Israel to prove to the American people, who definitely they rely on for support in this conflict.
I think the burden is on them to communicate to the American people why it's advantageous to America to continue to support them.
Like, and if they can't communicate a reason, you can't be upset at the American people for being confused about it.
We have that same energy towards Ukraine.
We go, wait a minute, they're getting.
Yep.
Hey, he's right.
I literally said this earlier.
The biggest way to tell who a shill is and who is not is if they oppose Ukraine, do they also oppose the Iran war?
And if they don't, they're a shill.
How many billion?
Owned by the Jays.
Okay, over here, if eggs were cheap, I don't care about where you throw the money.
But once eggs get expensive, I start going, where's the money going?
$200 million going over there?
So.
When economic times are very difficult here in America or any country in the world, there's going to be some questions asked about where this money is going.
As there should be.
As they should be.
I think it's a very normal thing.
And unfortunately for Jews, when economic times turn shitty in countries, people start looking and they go, I think it might be their fault.
Once again, I agree with.
Not really, because we've survived many economic crises.
I mean, nobody blamed them boys in 2008 when everything crashed.
The war.
Has revealed the bullshit.
And it's not even that we're assisting them.
It's that we're assisting them and they kill people in 1080p.
That's what really red pilled Americans.
The reason why Israel lost its support, if I'm going to sum it up in one sentence, the atrocities in Gaza woke people up and showed them a side of the Middle East they never knew even existed and that our tax dollars were funding it.
A one secret and quiet topic that was forbidden.
Was finally broadcasted to the world in 4K, and we were watching kids systematically be executed at the behest of our greatest ally, utilizing our tax dollars.
That's what's made everyone hate Israel.
That's it.
It's as simple.
We don't want to pay for a genocide, dude.
Not even for a month, as he said.
However, Bill indirectly called him stupid, and that felt pretty low.
I understand calling something stupid when a person claims they could survive jumping off a rooftop.
But that's nowhere near what Andrew was saying.
You can't just talk down to people like that.
Andrew gave the perfect example of how the Ivy League crowd often labels anyone who disagrees with them as stupid.
It's exactly this kind of condescension that drove many voters toward Trump, and Andrew was right.
Yep.
The pretentious attitude of the left is what drives so many people away.
To call it out.
I think Bill understood that, because the very liberals he criticizes and mocks on his show Real Time with Bill Meyer do the exact same thing.
Andrew then smartly pivoted back to the original point he was trying to make before Bill interrupted him the burden of proof.
If Israel, or any country, wants to receive billions in USAID, the burden is on them to clearly explain why it's advantageous for America and how it benefits ordinary Americans.
If they can't prove that, then there's no reason to keep supporting them.
Andrew also cleverly connected it to something every viewer can understand the price of eggs.
When people are struggling to afford basic groceries, they start looking at.
Yeah, I mean, Bill Maher's just fucking retarded.
Anyway, I saw this come up.
I figured all you Call of Duty niggas might enjoy this.
This looks like Bortac training.
I used to do this shit back in the day when I was on the job.
It's fun, man.
Hitting these raid houses.
So these guys are Bortac.
Yeah, this Border Patrol Bortac.
That's their tactical team, guys.
Okay, this fucking music is trash.
Lord of the people.
So, as you guys can see, the first thing they do is clear the corners.
That's the number one thing you got to do.
And this is what's called like a dynamic entry.
Nick is about to be Al Qaeda.
All right.
This music is obnoxious.
They go in, immediately checks corners.
His partner was covering his back on the left.
He bun Hope to the right.
His partner went right in behind him to the left.
One day, guys, I'll vlog me doing a tactics training like this for y'all.
It's a side of me that you guys have never seen before.
So, I promise I'll get y'all a video one day of me fucking shooting guns and all that other bullshit.
I just, bro, I just was never a tackleberry though when I was an agent, man.
Like, I did it when needed, but like, I wasn't like one of these guys, like, I need all the fucking high speed shit.
Yeah, I'm gonna just, you know, I was a good case agent.
I didn't, like, I wasn't what we call like a tackleberry in the law enforcement community.
But yeah, I had Bortac actually serve one of my warrants one time.
Oh, remember that story I told you guys when I almost shot somebody?
When I, like, I was saving a dude from getting kidnapped in Mexico?
When I did that fucking raid, guys, I was there with Bortac actually.
Funny story.
People ask me all the time, Hey, Meyer, have you ever shot anyone?
And I was like, Never, but there were a few times I came close.
And it was actually one time when I was out with these guys.
Yeah, so they're running what's called dynamic entries, just going right in.
Dynamic Entry Tactics Explained00:02:54
You and your partner come in, you take one side, the other guy takes one side, he's clearing his corners, you clear your corners.
And the reason why they tell you to focus on the corners is because that's what can kill you.
So you always got to clear corners.
Right?
Matter of fact, should I do this for y'all?
Hmm.
All right, hold on.
What's that, chat?
Yo, chat, can you guys hear me right now?
Give me a one if y'all can hear me.
Give me a one if you guys can hear me.
Give me a one.
Bo, all right.
All right.
Um Yo, chat, can you guys hear me like this?
Can you guys hear me?
Give me threes in the chat if you guys can hear me right now, somewhat comfortable.
Give me threes in the chat if you guys can hear me now.
Give me threes if y'all can hear me now.
Give me threes.
All right, cool.
So this is what I'm going to show you.
Okay.
So I have a safe gun here.
Okay?
Save gun.
All right?
I'm just going to do it with the slide to the back.
I'm going to show you all, son.
So, I'm coming in, right?
My partner's behind me.
So, I'm coming in.
I see straight ahead of me this corner here.
I know that's clear, right?
I know that's clear.
So, as soon as I come in, I'm going to buttonhook like this, right to the right.
My partner's going to advance behind me like this.
I'm covering this.
He's going there.
Now we control the room.
Okay, so I come in immediately boom bun hook like that partner goes behind me We control the room clear we're right back out Okay,
so that's how you clear a room with dynamic now there's another one Which is a bit slower right where you might not necessarily bun hook and come in like this, but You'll kind of come check the corner boom Make sure it's clear and then your partner goes right behind you Okay,
Teaching Self-Defense Live00:05:35
so um Obviously, that's very simple, but that's kind of frankly, yeah.
Frank was right next to me, yeah.
So, hey, you guys better like the video, bro.
Yo, what other live streamer could you know?
What if the live streamer could debate, show you guys tactics, do case breakdowns, give you fitness motivation?
Who the fuck else can do this?
Huh?
That's a whole other side y'all never seen of me before, man.
You go hard in the paint.
Anyway, let's go back to the video.
Did that help any of you guys?
Give me a five if you learned something from there.
It's one thing to like show it on camera, it's another thing to like actually demonstrate it for you guys.
So, all right, sweet.
Sweet, sweet.
Again, I'm not no fucking Navy SEAL or anything else like that.
But obviously, when you go to, when you're in law enforcement, they teach you the basics of clearing a house, right?
Someone said I'm a sellout.
What the fuck?
Dude's name is what?
JRV1236?
Bro, I'm teaching niggas how to fucking protect themselves.
You're saying I'm a sellout?
Alright, bro.
The fuck out of here, bro.
Niggas are retarded, man.
Of course, it's a fucking idiot from the Jutube chat.
Every fucking time with these idiots.
Every single time.
Enjoy the watermelon realm.
Hello, monkeys.
Fucking idiot.
Now, the reason why they're hitting it so fast, guys, is a lot of times when you're doing, you know, police warrants, especially, people are destroying evidence and shit.
So, um, so they got to move quick sometimes.
Alex with the big 45 gifted.
Thank you very much, bro.
I appreciate you supporting me with these retards.
Idiotic motherfuckers that come in here talking shit.
See how every angle is being covered?
I don't know if y'all caught on to that.
So now they're passing this open area, right?
He's going straight ahead.
Why is he going straight ahead?
Because he knows that he's got to clear this corner and he knows someone's behind him.
This is why it's so important, guys.
They squeeze each other so they know how many they got, right?
Because he's running in knowing full well his partner's job.
He's okay.
So this is them, right?
This is the guy in the front.
This is the guy behind them, right?
This dude is going straight.
And he's confident that the guy that's next to him, right?
This dude right behind him, this dude.
This dude right here, to his back, right?
This hand, guy in the front, this hand.
This guy's going to go toward the corner, right?
The other guy's going to buttonhook and go to the right to ensure that he's not hit from the side while he's moving forward, right?
Because this door is closed here.
So he can pretty much confidently know all right, I'm going.
Boom.
And then the third guy might go in here or hold what they got before they make entry if they don't have enough guys.
Boom.
See?
Right there.
Beautiful.
He turns to the right, immediately covers this guy going front.
And then the other guy follows on.
He comes in, looks here, sees a threat too.
And notice how his partner was right behind him.
So the partner just kept going straight.
He went to the right.
Button hooked to the right.
Other partner's there.
This is why teams always train together, chat.
So important for them to train together and just drill, This is why, like, the FBI HRT does this shit full time.
Mike Dixie, thank you for the 20.
Damn, y'all niggas like the tactical shit, man.
What the fuck?
Y'all really like that tactical shit like that?
Alright man, let me hit my nigga up real quick, bro.
Interesting Boys and Tactical Shit00:04:02
Hold on.
What the fuck?
I'm hitting on my boy, he's a firearms instructor.
Good dude.
Let me see you.
Yeah, I know.
I just wasn't sure because a lot of people are retarded or fat ears to say dumb shit like that.
So that's why I'm like, I don't really fucking talk about this shit that much.
Myron, is Matt different from other streamers?
Yeah, bro.
I'm telling you, I'm taking over Kick Chat.
I told you I'm coming to take this shit over.
Okay?
I'm, I'm, A, we can't be stopped.
I feel like Lil Wayne in 2008.
Yep See they're moving the whole time moving the whole time Boom.
Now, interesting stuff, man.
Interesting stuff.
Let's see if this DOJ shit is up yet.
Okay, he should have appeared at one.
Okay, here we go.
Press conference coming up soon.
He just had his appearance, probably.
They probably unsealed it too.
Yeah, of course.
Yeah, they're definitely going to do a criminal complaint.
All right, let's go into Pacer.
Nope, still no.
This is going to be interesting, boys.
Still going here.
Those billion dollar checks being sent to Ukraine or Israel with a much more critical eye.
You can't tell a father who can't afford eggs that he's dumb for questioning where his tax money is going.
Andrew exposed the massive disconnect between the comfortable media elite in their studios and the everyday economic struggles of American taxpayers.
Bill had no choice but to sit there and quietly agree because you simply can't argue with the daily reality most Americans are facing.
All right, you guys, before you go, let me know in the comment section, do you think Bill was hesitant to call out the aid being sent to Israel?
I am really interested in what you think.
Exposing the CAA Owners00:03:40
As always, much love, and I will see you in the next video.
Okay.
Oh, we'll react to this too one Israeli versus 20 Palestinians.
We'll react to that as well.
Maybe not today.
Well, we'll figure out when.
Let's see here what we got for news.
Okay, Justin from Maragachi meeting.
He says, We had a very good meeting with Mr. Putin.
It lasted perhaps more than an hour and a half.
Talks were discussed in detail both in bilateral relations and in regional issues, as well as in a discussion on the war and American Zionist aggression.
Cooperation between the two countries was also noted, and very good ideas were raised.
Yep.
I mean, they've been working with them.
John Kiriako, the guy that's owned by them boys.
Oh, speaking of John Kiriako, guys, look, I don't hate the guy, but I lost a lot of respect for him, man.
And I'll show y'all why.
He was supposed to come on our show.
Or he actually, excuse me, he invited me to one of his events, right?
And he invited me and Sneeko.
They're like, all right, cool.
Yeah, we're down.
We'll come.
And what ended up happening, I didn't want to put him on.
He backed out because he was signed to a talent agency owned by who?
But he lied and he tried to say that it was for legal reasons, which is fucking retarded.
Literally retarded.
I'll show y'all.
You know what?
I sent Brett the fucking text message that he sent me.
I was like, what the fuck?
It goes, Hey, Mario, good afternoon.
I want to reach out personally regarding the John Kiriakou and upcoming podcast.
We were recently informed that John has officially signed with CAAA.
Last time his reps advised that he is no longer able to participate in your podcast or our April 10th event due to legal reasons.
Like, what?
We have not been given more information than that.
And unfortunately, it's outside our control.
We appreciate your understanding and truly value the opportunity we had lined up.
It's like, bro, what the fuck?
So fucking pussy, man.
But anyway, yeah, guys, do me a favor.
If y'all fuck with my content, like this video.
Let's make it go viral because John Kiriakou is like literally going on every podcast.
And it's like, dude, this guy's kind of a fraud, man.
Like, really fucking annoying.
How do you reach out to someone and say, yo, come to my event?
And then they say, okay, let's do a collab.
And then the manager comes in, oh, sorry, my manager fucking said no.
Like, what the fuck?
And hey, you guys want to know who runs that agency?
Every single time.
Manager Blocks John Kiriakou00:07:45
It's like, really?
Really?
This dude, this dude, this dude, all were the founders of CAA, man.
Fucking ridiculous.
Holy, man.
No wonder bro backed out.
He talks all this shit about Messiah, but he'd be bending the knee to Israel, man.
Still not up.
Oh, oil went up to one oh nine.
Boom Booker.
How fitting.
How fitting that it would go to one oh nine as we exposed who owns the CAA.
Well, Oh, man.
Can't make this shit up, man.
Well, Anyway.
Still waiting.
Oh, now they moved this to three?
Bro.
Bro.
These guys are trying to kill me, man.
God fucking damn it.
No way, just tweeted this.
That's cap.
Okay, what's this Jimmy Kimmel shit, bro?
Now I'm intrigued.
Oh, and don't forget, guys, like this video.
We just dropped it.
Open up a tab and like this video for me, chat.
By the way, before we go and look into this Jimmy Kimmel shit, several people have been talking about this.
Here in Los Angeles on a big night for football, of all things, in April.
Here we go.
Get ready for the woke comedy chat.
I hope y'all are ready.
Special welcome to those of you who tuned in earlier for the NFL draft on ABC.
It's a special night of the year when football fans find out which young men they'll be yelling the F word at all next season.
Guys, do me a favor.
Smash that like button, too.
Smash that like button.
Not only on the link I gave you guys, but on the stream that we're currently on.
Tonight, 16 of our nation's most talented prospects gathered in Pittsburgh, each hoping and praying.
That their name would not be called by the Jets.
And speaking of Jets, President.
Man, I'm so out of touch, bro.
President Trump is.
When people make sports jokes like this, I'm like, what?
Is said to be hashing out a deal that would give the U.S. government up to a 90% ownership stake in Spirit Airlines.
And who better to own Spirit than the man who ran his own airline into the ground?
They're planning to invest $500 million.
Let's talk about it.
What is Spirit gonna do?
With 500 men, they have one economy plus seat and it's in the pilot's lap.
Donald Trump needs a miracle.
His poll numbers are way down, and I, for one, cannot think of a better way to get Americans to rally around him.
All right, what's the joke that pissed him off, chat?
Than spending 500 million of our dollars to save the least popular airline in the history of the planet Earth.
Are we really going to throw a life raft to an airline that doesn't even have a life raft?
You know, I flew Spirit recently, and they wouldn't let.
Lose your ego, it'll only make your hands look less disgusting.
Accents, every page of the Trump intro, Lou, and make it a big one.
It's the all American.
Okay, this is probably it.
American White House Correspondence Dinner.
Here's your host for the night, Jimmy Kimmel.
Welcome to the 2026 White House Correspondence Dinner.
Look at you all dressed up in formal wear, dress.
Unfiltered, what's up?
Just so you guys know, I might get hit with a copyright.
I have a feeling that this dude copyrights this shit, man.
So, if we get shut down on YouTube for copyright or whatever, they disable the stream, just know to go to kick.
This tuxedo.
I have a feeling this shit's about to be fucking copyrighted.
Because I haven't seen this much black since every page of the Trump Epstein files.
We're going to have fun tonight.
And I'm happy you decided to stay, Mr. President.
And don't worry, if we bruise your ego, it'll only make your hands look less disgusting.
The president didn't want me to tell any jokes about him tonight.
But he also didn't want to pay me $130,000 to shut up.
So here we are.
Sorry, mushroom.
Ice, baby, ice.
By the way, in the unfortunate event that our president has a medical emergency tonight, do we have a doctor in the house?
I mean, do we have a Jesus in the house?
I always confuse them too.
Wow.
Actually, wow.
Wow, wow, wow.
Dude, now I see why no one watches like TV anymore.
This is actually really fucking sad to see, dude.
I remember you guys, dude.
Some of my fondest memories, guys, was watching the David Letterman show late night with my dad growing up, right?
Before I was even 10.
You know, I'd be able to stay up late, hang out with him, watch the David Letterman or Jay Leno or whatever.
We were living in New York City at the time.
This is like, what, fucking 97 or some shit?
Seven years old, six years old, eight years old.
And I remember, like, people, you know, I remember the David Letterman show was in downtown Manhattan.
People would stay up all night to watch it, right?
It was like a funny talk show.
You would be excited for the guest that was going to come.
And, dude, I can't believe what mainstream media has become, man.
People actually watch this?
This is fucking nuts.
No wonder fucking TV ratings are plummeting, dude.
No wonder, man.
This is not funny, entertaining.
It just goes to show that, like, times have changed.
Wow.
I get why you think you're Jesus.
This guy, every time he walks into a room, people say, Christ, he's back.
Melania Makes Shocking Statement00:04:46
Bada Falls, thank you so much, man.
Appreciate you, sir.
You're looking good, though, Mr. President.
Who did your makeup?
Craft singles?
As the president will tell you, And again, Vada, thank you so much for the 10 gifted man and unfiltered Nick.
Repeatedly until you beg him to stop.
President Trump has accomplished so much during his second term.
He passed new incentives for oil and gas, he put the brakes on solar and wind.
That will be your legacy, sir breaking wind and passing gas.
I do have to ask, though, why do you hate windmills so much?
Is it because they can still get turned on by being blown?
Marco knows what I'm talking about.
He's been there.
But I do want to praise the POTUS.
Look how far you've come.
30 years ago, you were just some.
All right, this shit's trash.
Give me one sec, guys.
I'll be right back.
I'll let y'all fucking enjoy this shit.
And someone do me a favor and tell me what the worst joke was.
Rich guy on Jeffrey Epstein's private jet out of Teeterboro, but you worked hard, you stayed friends, you shared some wonderful secrets, and because of that, you were able to fly on that plane seven more times.
Dreams really do come true.
Am I right?
Dog the bounty hunter?
That's right.
We miss you so much.
And of course, Our first lady Melania is here.
Look at Melania, so beautiful.
Mrs. Trump, you have a glow like an expectant widow.
You know, Melania's birthday is on Sunday.
That's right.
She's planning to celebrate at home, the same way she always does, looking out a window and whispering, What have I done?
As you're all aware, Melania is a movie star now.
Her documentary had a score of 10% on Rotten Tomatoes, which is a website named after her husband's.
Testicles.
And I want to congratulate you, Madam First Lady, on your huge accomplishment, the world's first motionless picture.
And that.
Oh, by the way, before we go any further, Melania, this is Donald.
Donald, this is Melania.
That was my impression of Jeffrey Epstein.
Pretty good, right?
Thanks, Chris.
I do have an important announcement, and I'm sorry to say it's bad news.
JD Vance is here.
It's hard to get JD to come to an event like.
This.
He's a real homebody.
His wife had to peel him off the couch.
And that reminds me please do not get up from your seats during the performance because the vice president will them.
What a group of patriots.
Oh, look at who we have here, Stephen Miller.
Which one of you said his name three times?
Stephen Miller is so racist.
Okay, how bad is it, chat?
I can end your pain now.
All right, wow, Jimmy Kimmel, who is in no way funny as attested by his terrible television ratings.
Made a statement on this show, on his show, that is really shocking.
He showed a fake video of the First Lady Melania and our son Barron, like they were actually sitting in his studio listening to him speak, which they weren't and never would be.
He then stated, Our First Lady Melania is here.
Look at Melania, so beautiful.
Mr. Trump, you have a glow like an expectant widow.
A day later, a lunatic tried to enter the ballroom of the White House Correspondence Center loaded up with a shotgun, handgun, and many knives.
He was there for a very obvious of sinners to reason.
I appreciate that so many people are incensed by Kimmel's despicable call of violence and normally would not be a response to anything that he said.
But This is something far beyond the pale.
Jimmy Kimmel should be immediately fired by Disney and ABC.
Thank you for your attention to this matter.
Yeah, I mean, yo, I ain't gonna lie.
That's like fucking really bad taste.
But fuck that.
Yeah, Trump, cook, man.
Cook, bro.
Cook that motherfucker, bro.
I could be mad at you all day about the fucking Iran war, but fuck Jimmy Kimmel, man.
Yo, and once again, Vatapalls.
Vatapalls.
Excuse me.
Vatapalls.
Thank you so much, bro.
Appreciate you greatly, my friend.
Appreciate you greatly.
All you guys that rock with me, all you guys that support me.
So let's see here.
What else do we got?
Okay, so we got that coming up soon.
All right, someone sent me this clip actually.
Let's see what's going on.
Switch over to Redpo real quick.
Yeah, I've been with Chuck for about three years now.
Really nice guy.
So kind.
We love Chuck.
I'm obsessed.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
First Date Kiss Advice00:03:41
Guy right before him used to tear me up, though.
Amateur pimp, fresh out of prison, really bad guy.
Used to put cameras in my house, film me without my consent.
Still kept seeing him, though.
Sometimes you just literally need the chaos.
Yeah, I just wasn't ready for the nice guy Chuck, who I'm dating now and will definitely see this interview.
I remember when we first started dating, he bought me a trip to fucking dumbass Hillary Duff was saying all this shit.
They're probably cooking her for that.
Oh, man.
Aspen?
Love it.
I did miss the flight because I ended up sucking off the fry cooking.
Bob Evans, who lost custody of his children for, how do I say this?
Violence resulting in a loss of his son's vision.
What happened?
Now, remember that night as he was hanging me over the balcony demanding I transfer money into his friend's commissary, thinking to myself, should I have just gone to Aspen?
Okay.
Look at this shit, chat.
This is the host of Call Our Daddy.
I've had so many dates where, like, I had great first date kisses, and I was like, oh my God, I'm never calling you, but oh, who doesn't love a makeout?
Like, makeouts.
Are so fun, okay?
And so kiss them the first date, fucking sleep with them the first night.
Like, I don't care.
You have to go based on what feels good to your body and what feels right to you.
And so, if you have some fucking friends that are prudes that are like, you should never kiss on the first date, you're gonna give them the wrong impression and they're just gonna think you're a whore, okay?
Maybe for you, Cassandra, but I'm about to let them in my back door all night.
You don't have to do anal online too, but you could whatever feels right.
You have to be at your core, centered with what feels right to you and your body and what you want to do.
And if you want to fuck or you want to make out, or how about this?
If you don't want to kiss on the first date and that is your MO, great.
But don't just be like Googling, like, what to do on first date?
No kissing.
Got it.
Check.
No.
If a man is going to treat you like a piece of shit and isn't going to call you, he's not going to treat you like a piece of shit just because you fucked him or made out with him on the first night.
A man knows.
Okay, and guess what?
Stop giving all the man the power, and so should you.
Maybe make out with him so you stop waiting.
Look, um, female dating advice is just this is just retarded.
Worst advice ever, man.
So, your time, what if literally the blind leading the blind watermelon realm?
Shout out to you, little Robbie has got a tongue that hits the back of your esophagus.
I think she's obviously trying to be funny.
But, like, she doesn't understand, like, there's bimbos that are not gonna be able to detect the sarcasm or they're gonna enable this type of behavior.
And you hate the way he makes out.
Or what if, like, small lipped Sammy is like barely gets a little tongue in there and you're like, I can't even fucking find, we're just hitting teeth.
You're probably not gonna wanna fuck Sammy.
But good to know that you got it done on the first date.
We're maximizing our time, people.
You wanna not have a two hour date?
I'd rather.
Have a four hour date, quick make out.
No, he's not the one.
Never see him again.
So I can then optimize my time to not have a second date with small lip Sammy.
Modern women.
Modern women.
Need I say more?
Now, she might try to play that off as a joke, but no, that's how they go.
Nick Slam says, No, this is actually unreal.
Please, someone take her microphone away.
Strait of Hormuz Blockade00:12:14
Yeah, dude.
Call her daddy is fucking garbage, dude.
And that's the most successful female podcast, by the way, guys.
FYI.
That is considered the most successful female podcast, which should alarm everybody.
So, whatever.
Do me a favor and just smash the like button.
We got almost 1,000 of you guys watching on JTube.
Let me look here.
Okay, still looking.
What's up?
Hey, good job on unplug clips, X. Yo, unplug clips up.
Are you in OSS, bro?
Are you in chat right now?
Good stuff, dude.
I see you going viral.
Good stuff, my man.
This fucking weirdo.
Vouch.
Shout out to Slick Talk.
Let's see what else is going on here.
Bro, what?
Jizzy, my.
What the fuck?
Where'd this shit come from?
Bro, this shit came out like when I was in high school.
What the hell?
Good morning, everybody.
Happy Monday.
Have an amazing show for everybody today.
What do we have, Crystal?
Indeed, we do.
So, those Iran talks never happened.
Trump telling the reporters who were there in Islamabad to come home, never actually sending his negotiators over.
Iran apparently never had any intention of those talks continuing because their demands had not been met.
Pakistan involved in some misinformation there.
So, a lot to break down there.
Also, we have new reporting about how there was.
Denise says, got to admit, even, got to even end out.
LOL, much love, Myron.
My husband got me onto you.
Now I just watch you more than he does.
Oh, I appreciate that.
Thank you, Denise.
God bless you and your husband.
That truly makes me feel happy that couples watch me together.
I'd say it all the time, man.
That is the biggest fucking vindication ever when couples watch the show together.
More damage to U.S. bases than previously reported.
We may be days.
Anonymous said, Thank you for the rep information since you came on.
I got you, my friend.
And guys, all the donations that you guys send go to the college debate fund.
We're still trying to get ASU, but.
It's a fucking loser backed out last second.
So, you know how that goes.
He's away from a massive oil shock as the rubber hits the road and the Strait of Hormuz remains closed.
Conspiracies are flying after the White House correspondence dinner shooting.
So, we'll show you all the things that the people are talking about.
Also, we have Joe Kent.
He's going to join us to talk about the security failures and what he is observing and what he saw from the like you or I, but that also shows the cognitive dissonance of many of the members.
Of Congress.
So it is what it is.
Before we get to all of that, thank you to everybody who's been subscribing to the show, breakingpoints.com, if you're able to become a premium subscriber.
Today will be a very rare AMA.
It is going to be myself and producer Mac.
In fact, somebody sent us a chess set.
Perhaps we will play a game of chess while we do the AMA.
We'll change things up here a little bit with my kids.
Who's got the higher elo at this point?
Oh, it's Mac for sure.
I think I'm sitting around.
190 is the most important thing that happened.
But we are literally in the middle of a war.
The president is actually convening a situation room meeting today to decide.
What to do about the Iran situation.
But let's start off with Trump calling off his negotiating team heading to Islamabad.
He announced.
All right, let's see what they say here.
Something tells me they're going to have this right, unlike all the right wingers.
Over the weekend, we'll put it up here on the screen.
He says I just canceled the trip of my representatives going to Islamabad, Pakistan to meet with the Iranians.
Too much time wasted on traveling, too much work, besides which there is tremendous infighting and confusion within their, quote, leadership.
Nobody knows who is in charge, including them.
Also, we have all the cards.
They have none.
If they want to talk, all they have to do is call President Donald J. Trump.
He also justified not sending them because it's too expensive.
Let's get to the next one.
I think Pakistan is terrific.
I think the field marshal is fantastic.
I think the prime minister of Pakistan is great.
And, you know, they'd like to see something happen.
But we're not going to be traveling 15, 16 hours to have a meeting with people that nobody ever heard of.
What changed to make you make?
That decision.
Too much travel.
And when they say the meeting schedule.
Huh.
You know why I really changed it.
Iran didn't want to wait for them.
But Tuesday.
And they don't want to deal with Kushner.
I said Tuesday, that's all.
And Wyckoff.
Long time from now.
But when you get right down to it, it's a lot of traveling.
No, we don't want to do that.
At what point do you send Wyckoff and Kushner and send Vice President Bansing?
At what point do you send them?
They're all very confident, all three.
Those are three good.
But they weren't meeting with the leader of the country.
They were meeting with other people.
And I said, we're just not going to do too much.
Traveling takes too long, too expensive.
I'm a very cost conscious person, too expensive.
He's a very cost conscious person.
Yeah, it doesn't exactly pass the smell test.
The big deal here is basically they had a ceasefire deadline.
The ceasefire deadline expired.
There were no negotiations that happened.
The Iranian terms were made pretty clear.
The U.S. terms were also all enrichment, Lebanon ceasefire, remove the blockade of the blockade.
Trump didn't do that.
They saw the Iranian terms if they agreed to them as a total capitulation.
And so we're kind of in a space that we're in a weird ass fucking middle ground right now.
Treat to Parsi predicted going into this, which is Trump actually can just walk away.
The blockade is still in place.
The war is not being restarted.
It's also not really off.
We're in this weird, you know, semi hot zone where there is, of course, a naval blockade, an act of war.
There, of course, is military pressure on the Iranian regime, but they don't seem anxious to restart the war either.
And now everybody's kind of in a limbo waiting for something to change and for something to happen.
And in the interim, what is it, a million, several million barrels of oil per day.
Are getting shut in and are not exiting the Straits of Hormuz, which is the only thing that really matters out of this conflict so far.
Yeah.
And the thing is that this limbo state that we're in right now, which you're absolutely right, True to Parsi has been saying, hey, this is probably where this is going to end up.
It's unlikely that they're able to resolve enough issues to actually come to a deal.
Yeah.
Both are trying to make maximalist demands and no one wants to concede.
I'm not sure this limbo state is a stable outcome.
So, smash that like button and just for a variety of reasons.
I mean, number one, you've got the Israelis who are itching to go back to war and you were just.
Saying, Zagre, we're seeing in the news bombing the hell out of Lebanon.
You know, we'll find any means possible to not only go back to war with Iran, but get us back into war with Iran.
So you have that.
And then we're going to talk more about the situation with oil later in the show.
But the damage to our economy and to the global economy is going to continue as long as the Strait of Hormuz is closed.
And at some point, you know, the markets are going to reflect the actual reality of how many barrels, millions of barrels of oil.
Yep.
We haven't experienced it yet, guys, because remember, They released an enormous amount of strategic energy from the IEA.
Okay.
So, this the price is being stabilized right now is literally like just subsidization.
We haven't even really started to feel the pain yet.
Having shut out of the economy.
We're literally using reserves from before the economy.
So, while Trump is betting that that pressure will be larger on Iran, they of course have more existential stakes.
He's also betting that pressure will be more of a problem for the Other rest of the globe, which is probably true, but that doesn't mean it's going to.
Yeah, and that's not going to help.
Not going to have dire impacts here as well, which is why this is such, you know, it's just impossible to see how this all plays out, given that there are effectively no good alternatives for Trump at this point.
You know, I also want to talk about a little bit about this Barack Ravide report that came out yesterday evening, just before like, you know, oil futures markets open and whatever, about how the Iranians are now offering a new approach.
Where the issues with Strait of Hormuz would be worked out before dealing with the nuclear file.
And, you know, I think it's obviously noteworthy that this comes from Barack Ravid, not worthy.
It comes right at a key market point.
I think this is another attempt to Trump to say, like, look, they're still negotiating.
They still want to work with us.
There's still a possibility of getting something done here, which does indicate that he realizes there is some pressure on him to bring some sort of resolution to this whole thing.
Well, I mean, even if the Iranians were to agree, if they were to propose that, they would unambiguously win because the removal of the blockade and some sort of resumption through the Straits of Hormuz with no nuclear talks means that their Trump card was able to basically just be resolved on its face with no concessions whatsoever on nuclear issues, on ballistic missiles, or on any of their support for Hezbollah or any of these other groups.
And the regime itself got to survive and completely intact.
So, absolutely nothing would have changed as a result.
Of the war.
If anything, Iran may have been stronger.
So I think you're right that this is probably a that they made a law, by the way, now, officially a law now, that they are going to charge people that come through the Straits of Hormuz.
Market type move.
But, you know, look, everyone has eyes in the same way that to describe it in the way that I did.
If the administration opened or signed some sort of deal, removal of the blockade in exchange for opening of the Straits of Hormuz, it would contradict everything Trump has said about the Straits of Hormuz.
He said, I don't need it.
It's actually China and Russia and all these other, or China and India and all these other companies or countries in Asia that are really reliant on the Straits of Hormuz.
It's not really that important to us.
And the fact that they were able to close it and then he could just reopen it by removing the blockade, except the blockade was supposed to get them to the negotiating table over nuclear issues and many other things, it would be a total failure.
But that's one reason why I'm not so sure the Iranians would agree to it.
You know, they have made it clear Strait of Hormuz and control in some form.
Also, interesting thing, guys.
It's coming out now that they think that the shooter or the Secret Service agent that was shot was actually friendly fire, which is actually fucking hilarious.
Breaking Rojo, I'll show you guys this real quick.
Unfortunately, there's probably friendly fire, which often can happen in these chaotic situations.
If the training.
What's going on here, Ren?
Like, how egregious is it?
You're right.
They're taking down all the security measures while the president is sitting there.
With the first lady, they are doors away from the president, right?
And the only reason doors are closed is for noise.
And by the way, as we know, any of the dignitaries, any of the people there going to the bathroom are in that exact same hallway, obviously, like we know we've heard that story.
But you can see these guys think the show is over, right?
This is a culture problem.
It's all right, guys, switching over to kick right now, guys.
Guys on YouTube, come on over.
Let's bump this shit up to 2,000 plus.
Okay, let's go.
Switching on over, ninjas.
Ending the YouTube stream, come on over.
We're going to do the press conference, the DOJ press conference over there.
We're going to do the.
We're going to keep breaking this down because we got a big press conference coming up soon.