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Aug. 1, 2022 - MyronGainesX
01:04:52
STORY TIME! The WORST Liars I Ever Arrested...(Dumbest Criminals EVER 😂)
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Time Text
All right, and we are live.
What's up, guys?
Welcome to Fed It Man.
Sorry for the delay.
Got the new intro.
Let's get into it, baby.
I'm a special agent with Homeland Screen Investigation.
Okay, guys, HSI.
The cases that I did mostly were smuggling and drug trafficking.
I've done title three intercepts, which is basically listening to phones.
Here's what FedEx covers: racketeering and Rico conspiracies.
Like here and after referred to as YSL do the 6ix9ine.
And then this is Billy Sigo right here.
Now, when they first started, guys, 6ix9ine ran with I'm a Fed.
I'm watching this music video.
You know, I'm bobbing my head like, hey, this shit lit.
But at the same time, I'm pausing.
Oh, wait, who this?
Right?
Who's that in the back?
Firearms and violent crimes.
Aka Kuchi violated.
Your order to stay away from the big scrappy pitch I see arrested after shooting at King of Diamonds and Miami Street Club injured.
This is the one that's going to fuck him up because this gun is not traceable.
Well, it happened at the gun range.
Here's your boy 42 Doug right here on the left.
Okay.
Yes, as you guys can see, it looks kind of like a child assistant.
Okay.
The phone also contained a contract for Snapchat username, Posh Puppy5.
If you guys remember, boom.
Posh Puppy 5.
Sex trafficking and sex crisis on criminal conduct, including sexual exploitation of children, forced labor, and the man act.
And the first bomb went off right here.
Shut down a backpack.
Cypher.
Psycho explore inspired by Al-Qaeda.
Two terrorists and brothers, Gazokar, Sarnev, and Tamar Lane.
Planet 2, guys.
This is Feddy Walk inspiring to distribute and possess control substances using firearms in connection with the drug trafficker.
Operation Shattered Shield, the largest corrupt police in Boston.
So he was in this bad boy.
The gang ties so that this all makes sense.
Alright.
Yo, did you guys like that, man?
How'd y'all like that one, man?
I hope you guys enjoyed that intro.
Sorry for the delay.
I know it took a while to get it going, but hey, I got another surprise for you guys right now as well.
I got a special guest in the house.
You want to introduce yourself to the people real quick?
Hey, guys.
It's me, Miss Green, the OG.
You already know me.
That intro was wild, though.
You liked it?
I liked it.
Yeah.
So it's new.
So, Susie, I know who you are.
I'm sure the people know who you are.
Can you introduce yourself to the people real quick, where you're from, and a little bio about you?
Yes.
Okay.
So, hey, guys.
I'm Susie.
You already know me, Miss Green, the OG.
I'm 28.
I'm from LA.
I'm in a music group, always changing genre.
So I was doing rap and now I'm doing something else.
What was the name of your rap crew again?
Show me the deed or what?
Yes, we actually had a song called Show Me the Deed for Mr. Organic.
Shout out to Mr. Organic.
Yeah.
We miss you.
Yeah, so I think I'm going to step away from rap and do something else because everybody said that I suck.
Oh, really?
You don't say?
But I think that was pretty good.
I think it was pretty good.
Well, if that helps you sleep at night, then yes.
No, I wasn't good, so I should do something else.
Yeah, I think you should move into another genre.
Maybe country music?
I'd give it a shot.
Blake Shelton, where you at?
Here you go.
Or you speak Spanish too, right?
Maybe a regular.
Yeah, guys, you didn't know that, did you?
See?
Yeah, she speaks.
Everyone thinks I'm a white girl for some reason.
I'm Latina.
Yeah.
Nothing white in me.
Sorry, guys.
Mexican, right?
Mexican and Colombian.
Bam.
The worst.
The worst combination ever.
My dad's Mexican.
What's up?
All right.
Well, welcome to the show.
She came out to help out, guys.
So shout out to her.
So I hope you guys enjoyed that intro.
I'll read some of these.
We go three Diglets.
Here it goes.
I miss Rich Dolls, which is hilarious.
Oh, you guys.
I miss them too.
That's her gang right there, by the way, guys.
Yeah, shout out to you, three Diglets.
I appreciate that.
And then what else do we got here?
I think someone else had something earlier.
I might have missed it.
But thank you.
Oh, and then we got SEO 971.
Good evening, Feda and chat.
Hit that like button for Myron.
Yeah, guys, do me a favor, like the video, man.
Because, and shout out to Agent Fit, by the way, who made that intro.
Shout out to him.
Took it forever, though.
He's the reason why we're late.
So if y'all want to blame anybody, man, give him the quick and the yeet in the chat because he's the reason we started this bad boy late.
But I wanted to really have that for you guys.
And I know, see, I know you guys were going to say this.
Oh, yo, Myron Smash.
Bro, I'm not smashing, man.
I don't know what y'all talking about.
All right.
We just saw each other at the Brickle City Center, you guys.
Miami's so small.
And here's the thing.
I know we got the perverts in the chat that are probably going to want to see what you're working with, Susie.
So you mind standing up for the people real quick.
I'll be the Chris.
Do you guys want to see?
Yeah, I think they want to see.
Okay.
All right.
She's been doing some squats.
What you saw at the Brickle City Center.
Yeah.
When I said, can I come on your show?
There you go.
Can I come on your show or no?
See, is that YouTube?
Oh, yeah, you might have to move.
There you go.
Bam.
See, see, I knew you guys were going to want that.
So there you go, right there.
All right.
Now we can focus on the show.
All right.
All right.
You're good.
You're good, Susie.
All right.
You're good.
Okay.
I think they like to see the assets if you know what I'm saying.
We could talk about that.
All right, cool.
So, all right.
So, yes, I knew these guys were going to, because they were going to say it in the pod.
So, I was like, yo, you know what?
Just, can you stand up for the people real quick?
Because I knew you guys were like, oh, yo, Susie.
Love your content, bro, Ryan.
Thank you so much.
Michael Mistroke, thank you so much.
Two bucks.
I appreciate that, man.
And then we got three Diglets.
Hold up, Susie.
Shake that booty before the show starts.
Yeah.
See, he did it.
Do you have dollar bills so I can shake it?
Show some dollar bills.
Hello.
Oh, man.
Sorry, I missed it.
She say 28.
What's her age or her IQ?
You have anything you want to say back to SEO 971?
My IQ is high, baby.
Okay, very high.
There you go.
Cool.
Cool.
So anyway, guys, so today we're going to cover basically a case that I did myself when I was on the job.
Okay.
So we're going to go ahead and basically get right into it.
Okay.
As you guys know, quick little intro.
I used to work for Homeland Security Investigations.
Okay, guys, which is HSI.
And it's the principal law enforcement agency for the Department of Homeland Security.
I was a special agent with them.
I was an agent from 2013 to 2020.
I was interned from 2010 to 2013.
Then I became an agent in 2013, went to the academy in 2014.
Went to my first duty station, Laredo, Texas from 2014 to 2018.
And then in 2018, I went to Miami and I was an agent there until December 5th of 2020.
I resigned.
You know, I left on good terms, guys.
For any idiots out there, you got fired.
No, I fucking didn't.
I was a very good agent when I was there.
I did a lot of big cases, as you guys know, with the Title IIIs, everything else.
The reason I'm able to speak with such knowledge on this channel is because I did so many different types of cases from different types of backgrounds.
But yeah, I resigned because, as you guys know, the YouTube channel started to take off and they were pretty much, you know, they brought me in the office and were like, hey, you got a choice to make.
You know, it's either the YouTube or the job.
And, you know, at that point, we had employees, we had people, and there were people depending on me.
So I couldn't turn my back on them.
So I ended up choosing the YouTube.
And I'm not going to lie to you guys.
I think about that job every day.
I miss it.
And yeah, even though it's, you know, a fraction of what I make now, like, it's not all about the money.
As you guys know, I'm a hardcore minimalist.
So I was making six figures, which is more than enough money for me.
But it was a great job and it was a lot of fun.
So I miss it every day.
I think about it every day, man.
I'm not going to lie to you guys.
But this channel, right, my haters thought they could dox me and they thought it would work out, which I'm actually going to dox myself because I'm going to give you guys one of the cases I did.
And ended up actually like reigniting a passion and doing a whole YouTube channel based around what I used to do.
So all the haters out there, thank you very much because you definitely gave yourself a big do what I wanted to do and make another stream of income.
So thank you for that.
Former special agent Emrufotto, the best goddamn former Fed period.
I hereby award you the Attorney General Award of Excellence for your service.
Thank you so much.
Hashtag Crooks.
And that's from Kevin Thomas.
Five bucks.
One of the cases, guys, which I will break down for you guys, is going to win the attorney to actually win the Attorney General's award later on this year.
I found that out from one of my colleagues.
Martin, you're inspiring.
You both have the ability to not give a fuck what people think, but you still have a strong moral center.
Susie's cake ain't going to distract me from saying that.
I think they like what they saw earlier, Susie.
Hey, baby.
Wait, drop your IG for them real quick in case they want to follow you.
Okay, it's S-U-S-I-E underscore JXO.
Oh, that's too difficult, man.
We got to make that thing simpler.
Damn.
Okay.
Is that hard?
It is kind of hard.
I'll put in the description for y'all.
Hey, Marion, I'm 6'1, currently 119, 91 pounds.
I lift every day for seven months.
What's healthy weight to have?
Muscle, but not too skinny for my height, AK build, a build like yours.
Don't worry about height so much, man.
Focus more on your body composition and body fat percentage.
But six foot one, 191 pounds, man.
If your body fat percentage is low, you're going to look pretty damn good.
So, okay, so I told you guys about what my duties were when I was an agent.
So this video illustrates it a little bit better.
So I'm going to go ahead and share screen with you guys so you can see a visual representation because me just talking shit about it, it's not as cool, man.
So this is a pretty good video that represents what HSI does.
And I'll go ahead and enlarge this for y'all real quick.
Let me know if there's echoes, guys.
If there's echoes, I'm going to play a little bit.
Give me a one in the chat if it's a good sound.
All right.
So I'm going to play a second.
HSI is an investigative agency within U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement.
And it's our primary responsibility.
All right, give me ones in the chat if that's uh if that's good, and we can hide that chat real quick, Susie, please.
You can just click on it and you're good.
Um, give me ones in the chat, guys, if it's good.
Okay, cool, we're good.
All right, so um, he's talking about what HSI is, guys.
This is Peter Edge.
Actually, he was the executive assistant director when I was on the job.
Um, I don't know what he's doing now.
Uh, I think he was an agent in Newark when he was actually on the job, but uh, this video came out a couple years ago.
But he pretty much, this is a good illustration of what HSI does.
Because a lot of people don't know what the hell Homeland Security Investigations is or what they do.
So, this video gives a pretty good explanation of what they do.
You know, the biggest agency in DHS and the second biggest law enforcement agency after the FBI.
A lot of people don't know this.
So, yeah, let's get to it.
Protect our nation's borders.
We're an international investigative agency.
We have 200 offices in the United States and 63 offices around the world.
Well, HSI was born out of 9-11, and one of the things that we have become is a very after 9-11, guys.
Basically, the Department of Immigration Naturalization Service and the Customs Service merged into one, which created ICE.
Okay, and then ICE is broken up into two components: you got enforcement removal operations, the deportation guys, then you got homeland security investigations, HSI, who do the criminal investigations.
I was on the HSI side.
Okay, very strong border security agency.
And the foundation of HSI were the criminal investigators that used to work for the U.S. Customs Service and the Immigration and Naturalization Service.
And now, when the Department of Homeland Security was founded, HSI was created.
Our investigative spectrum is very, very broad, but it's important to remember that it's all based in border security.
All those items and persons that come in and out of our country are things that we investigate.
All right, so basically, guys, it needs to have like some, if it has like international nexus to some degree, HSI is going to be involved.
So, like, when it comes to transnational criminal organizations, anything being smuggled into or out of the United States, whether it's illegal aliens, commodities, contraband, whatever it may be, because what they basically did was they went ahead and combined both immigration and customs into one agency.
Remember, it was U.S. Customs Service and INS prior to 9-11.
After 9-11, the Department of Homeland Security Act was created.
Shout out to your boy Bush.
And then that combined a lot of different agencies because there was a lot, basically, long story short, after 9-11 happened, there was a lot of intel gaps.
A lot of the agencies weren't working together, right?
The FBI wasn't working with the CIA.
Immigration wasn't working with the other agencies.
The Department of State wasn't working.
As you guys know, those 9-11 hijackers, what happened was they got visas and people didn't know because the agencies weren't working together.
So, yeah.
Okay, so we're going to keep going here.
Whether it's human trafficking, counterproliferation investigations, drug smuggling, child exploitation on computers across our nation's borders with our international partners, those are the things that we take a very close look at.
And we're empowered to enforce more than 400 criminal statutes that have a direct correlation with immigration or customs law.
Human trafficking is one of the program areas that really exemplifies how HI and with human trafficking, guys.
The two main agencies that do it is us and FBI to human trafficking.
HSI can partner with other agencies effectively and take our investigations global.
Last year, HSI Savannah partnered with the Cold Click County Sheriff's Office.
And this is very important to know as well that human trafficking and human smuggling are two different crimes, guys.
So human smuggling is moving the aliens into the United States.
And then human trafficking typically occurs after the aliens are in the United States.
And aliens, it refers to people that are, you know, not U.S. citizens, by the way.
This is an offensive language.
This is just how it's written in the Title VIII, you know, Immigration Nationality Act or the INA.
And so human trafficking occurs typically when they're in the United States and then the aliens haven't paid a fee or the smugglers turn into traffickers or whatever it may be.
And then that's when the indentured servitude or them forcing them to work or whatever, peonage, whatever it may be, all that stuff occurs typically after the fact.
Okay.
So there are two different crimes.
Human trafficking and human smuggling are typically conflated and they're completely different crimes, guys.
Okay.
One is Title 18, USC, which is like a criminal code.
And then the other one falls under Title VIII, which is immigration, which is where human smuggling falls under, which we're going to talk about human smuggling today on my case.
Okay.
So now that we know what HSI does overall, we're going to talk a little bit more about how HSI covers.
How do I explain this?
So let me stop sharing screen here so I can explain this.
And I'll read some of these chats before I get into it.
And we got NBA Corey 10 bucks just starting on the FedEx content, man.
Love watching these.
Keep it up, man.
Pause the heart.
Thank you so much.
I appreciate that, my friend.
And then we got, let's see here.
And I hope that video illustrated for you guys so it's a little bit easier to understand.
Myron, let me know when you get your Honda back.
I'll hook you up with some quality paintless dent repairs, a token of my appreciation for what you guys do.
Andy Carmedic, thank you so much, Andy.
Uh, I should be getting the Honda in a couple of days here.
Um, Myron, about to break this case down like a brick.
Oh, we man, got you, bro.
Yeah, this is a case that I actually did myself, guys.
Myron, you're inspiring.
Uh, okay, we read that one.
All right, cool, awesome.
So, um, so, okay, let me break this down for you guys real quick about how HSI works.
So, I need you guys to look at the Department of Homeland Security as like a police department, okay?
Right?
It's a police department, and you got Customs and Border Protection who OFO, Office of Field Operations, those are the guys in the blue uniform.
Then you got Border Patrol, who is in the green uniform, okay?
If you're coming into the United States, right, at a port of entry, whether it's an airport, a bridge, you're coming, you're coming in from Mexico or from the United States, you're going to see a guy with a blue uniform there.
Typically, that's a customs and border protection officer.
He's going to, you know, make sure that you're a U.S. citizen, that you're not smuggling in contraband, whatever it may be.
So, that's a designated port of entry, okay, or a POE.
Okay, then you got Border Patrol who patrol the areas that aren't necessarily run by Border Customs and Border Protection.
They're in the green uniforms.
If you see them, you're fucking up.
You're coming in somewhere where you're not supposed to come in.
Okay.
So, if Border Patrol or customs catches you, whether you're smuggling drugs, you're smuggling aliens, you're smuggling guns southbound, you're smuggling contraband in, whatever it is, they're going to contact Homeland Security Investigations, HSI.
They are the detectives of the Department of Homeland Security.
So, think of Border Patrol and customs and border protection as the police officers uniform, and then think of HSI as the detectives.
So, once they catch someone smuggling in drugs or someone smuggling in aliens, they call us and then we show up and we take the case from there.
We show up and interview the bad guy.
When you interview the bad guy, you know, that's when you're like, hey, you know, for example, I'll give you guys an example.
Okay, let's go into a scenario situation.
All right.
Any uh comments on this so far, Susie?
It's like, what the fuck's going on?
Not yet.
Not yet.
Okay.
So I'll give you guys an example, right?
When I was in Laredo, Texas, right, they were smuggling in drugs and aliens all day, every day, right?
So let's say someone comes into the bridge, right, with 200 kilos of cocaine, comes in, customs catches them with the drugs, right, in the car.
They call us, hey, we caught this guy at the bridge with 200 kilos of cocaine.
You know, we're calling you, right?
So you show up, you go to the bridge, right?
You tell them, okay, cool.
Keep him in the, you know, keep him separated from anybody else that he may be with.
I'm going to show up there.
You go there, right?
If you're the duty agent, you're on call.
You show up, you interview the guy.
Hey, where are these drugs supposed to go?
Right?
You obviously read him his rights.
You have the rights to remain silent, blah, blah, blah.
Because at this point, he's in custody, right?
You have to read him his rights.
Fourth Amendment applies.
Then he's going to say, okay, you know, and I would typically say, listen, bro, you got to cooperate.
If you don't, we got you on, you know, 20 kilos, 200 kilos, whatever may be.
You're going to serve a significant amount of time.
You can either cooperate and help yourself out or you can go to jail.
It's up to you.
You know, I can call it early night, whatever, right?
And you kind of act impartial, right?
That was the strategy.
Then they go, no, no, no, I'll cooperate.
Blah, blah, blah.
I don't want to fucking go down for this shit because nine out of 10 times, I don't even know who the hell is supposed to get the drugs next or what organization they're working for.
They're just a mute.
They're just a dumbass driver, right?
So you go, okay, cool.
Where are the drugs supposed to go?
I don't know.
I just know I'm supposed to take him to this drive, to this parking lot in San Antonio.
Cool.
Get in the car.
We're going to drive to San Antonio.
So this is what you call a controlled delivery, right?
So then you drive the drugs with the guy there.
Typically, he's got to make a phone call to someone, right?
Makes a phone call.
And then he leaves the area.
And then someone else is supposed to come and pick up the dope.
That's when you set up surveillance and you wait there, right?
You wait.
Next person comes in, you arrest his dumbass.
Where are you supposed to take the drugs?
Oh, I was going to drive him to Houston.
Okay, cool.
And then you see what I'm saying?
You leapfrog this thing all the way up to organization.
Okay.
And you just get cooperators and you work your way up, whatever it may be.
And that's how a control delivery typically works.
That's how a case happens from the border, how you expand an investigation.
I did this a million times, whether it was drugs, illegal aliens, whatever it may be.
I did control deliveries for both.
Hell, I even did control deliveries for aliens before, which is very difficult to do.
You need a bunch of approvals to do it, which, you know, I'll talk to you guys about a case that I did with the controlled delivery of aliens in the future.
But that's a whole other thing.
It's way easier to control delivery drugs, obviously.
So, so knowing this, this is how Homeland Security works.
And this is how HSI is incorporated in with U.S. Customs and Border Protection, OFO, blue uniform, and then green uniform, U.S. Border Patrol.
All right, guys.
They're the think of them as the police officers for DHS.
And then we are the detectives.
Okay.
Now that you understand this, this was on the U.S.-Mexican border.
Okay.
Now, I fast forward 2018, right?
I'm now here in Miami.
Things are different here in Miami.
Okay.
In Miami, right?
You don't have Border Patrol like that.
All right.
Border Patrol exists here, but they're not to the same degree on the Southwest border.
You do have customs here, but they're typically at the at the um uh at the airports, et cetera, right?
So who do you got?
You got the water, right?
Who controls the water, guys?
The U.S. Coast Guard, okay?
So the U.S. Coast Guard is patrolling the water, right?
You know, all over the place, right?
You know, from a safety perspective, making sure people are okay and they're, you know, they're in compliance with the laws of the sea, right?
And then also, right?
And also, if there's issues, whatever, they help you out with distress or whatever.
And then also, they serve as a law enforcement agency as well.
Okay, guys.
In times of war, the U.S. Coast Guard is activated as a branch of the military, but in times of peace, they're under the Department of Homeland Security.
All right.
So think of them as maybe like a water version of U.S. Customs and Border Protection.
Okay.
And this is how this case that I'm about to tell you guys about came.
It came from the U.S. Coast Guard.
All right.
So now that we understand what the hell is going on here, how HSI works versus custom, you know, versus the interdictory agencies, U.S. Coast Guard, U.S. Border Patrol, U.S. Customs and Border Protection Office of Field Operations, blue uniform, green uniform, and then U.S. Coast Guard.
Now we can go ahead and talk about this case.
All right.
And I'll read some of these chats real quick.
Joseph Garcia, five bucks.
Appreciate all the content you gave me through.
Me, my seven to five job.
Keep up the great content, my brother.
Appreciate that, my friend.
Let's see here.
Anything else, Susie, or no?
I see something.
Okay.
I see like a super sticker.
A super sticker?
Let's see.
Rough, Ralph Rafael, 20 bucks.
Hey, Myron, since you have your prior criminal investigations experience, would you consider the PI route private investigator consultant?
And Myron, I watched your Jay Waller podcast live, McDonald's Savage, best podcast ever.
Yeah, no, bro.
I will not go the PI route or private sector.
Nothing beats working for the government, even though you get paid a lot more in the private sector.
Don't get it twisted.
But there's nothing like fucking, you know, doing arrests and swearing at affidavits and like really doing agent work.
And here's the thing, too.
I don't want to say this to like two mil horn or whatever, but I want to make this extremely clear.
I wasn't one of these paper-pushing agents.
I was out in the streets.
I was fucking, I had informants.
I controlled a lot of informants.
I was doing surveillance all the time.
I was writing reports.
I was for several years in a row.
I wrote the most reports in the office, which the best way to tell if an agent is working is: are they writing reports?
I was writing reports.
I was writing affidavits.
I was at the US attorney's office all the time.
So I was like a very, very, very active agent.
And this case that I'm about to read to you guys right now was a duty case, right?
So I was, actually, you know what's funny?
This case, now that I think about it, I wasn't even on call, but I took the case anyway.
Okay.
So anytime, so the way it works, guys, with duty is like you're on call, right?
So if anything happens, right?
If there's a shooting, if an agent gets an accident, if you know, U.S. Coast Guard catches something, or if like something goes down and you're the duty agent, you need to respond.
Okay.
You're like the face of the agency that you got to go there and respond, right?
So in this case, the U.S. Coast Guard caught a guy smuggling illegal aliens.
All right.
And I remember that I was a backup agent and it was another guy, right, that was a duty agent.
But I said, fuck it.
I'll take this case.
Right.
And this was on the at the time.
I was doing a big drug case at the time as well when this case popped off.
So, and I had just been in Miami for about four or five months at this point.
This is in July of 2018.
I'm going to start reading it to you guys here in a second.
But, but this is, I was just like, I was, I was a go-getter, man.
I was really a go-getter.
So when people say this shit, you're a paper pusher, blah, blah, blah, all this other shit.
Like, I mean, from just from the amount of knowledge that I give you guys on this channel, you can already tell that that's CAP.
Like, there's no way.
How would I be able to speak so in an educated fashion about all these different types of investigations had I not done them myself?
Right.
So, um, so, and, and that's why, like, you know, and I'm really happy to give you guys this information because uh, you don't get to share this stuff, and you're not going to find content like this anywhere else on YouTube because you're not going to catch a guy that did the amount of cases that I did talking about this shit on YouTube, explaining you guys.
Obviously, like I told you guys a million times on this channel, I'm not going to talk about classified information.
I'm not going to talk about sensitive law enforcement techniques, and I'm also not going to speak about active cases, but closed cases like the one I'm going to show you guys, we could talk about right.
Um, all right, cool.
So, and you could take it down, Susie, after like you know, like 30 seconds to a minute.
Okay, no, don't worry about it, you're good.
Uh, all right, before I get into this, you got anything you want to say to people?
This document, um, I want to say, hey, guys, wow, like this sounds like very interesting, like everything that you're saying.
It's a lot, I know.
I want to watch all the videos that you're like talking about and stuff.
Yeah, you just sent them to me afterwards.
Yeah, she, I didn't, she didn't know about this stuff until like yeah, I don't know.
I just saw Myron at the Briggle City Center, and I was like, hey, what's up?
I apologize because last time I was a fool on the podcast.
So I was like, fuck, Myron, I'm sorry.
Yeah, we had to give her the yeet, but uh, she apologized, man, and she was sincere about it.
So, um, yeah, she took some accountability, which is rare for a lot of these Miami girls.
So, Miami girls, I'm not just like one of these Miami girls.
She's L.A. She's L.A. Well, excuse me, Miss LA.
I'm a California girl.
Even worse.
Even worse.
I was born there.
Hey, guys, like the video, please.
Okay.
So, all right, cool.
So, this is a case that I did myself, guys.
So we're going to go ahead and break this bad boy down.
Okay.
This is a cover sheet right here.
United States of America versus these two individuals right here.
Okay.
So I'm about to dox myself.
I can't wait.
But your boy Myron was out here in these streets actually doing these cases, man.
So here we go.
And this case is public, guys.
You can look this up on PACER.
It's public information.
Nothing about this is secrets.
So yeah.
So this is a case that I did myself.
It was one of my first cases when I got to Miami.
And this was in 2018.
Okay.
So United States of America versus Juan Carlos Paulino and Jonas Michelle.
Okay.
And this is what I tell you guys all the time.
This is a complaint, a criminal complaint cover sheet.
Okay.
So I had a complaint in this case, state the following is true to the best of my knowledge and belief on or about the dates of 729-2018 in the county of Miami-Dade in the Southern District of Florida and elsewhere.
The defendants violated Title 18, United States Code Section 1324, conspiracy to encourage and induce an alien to come, enter, and reside in the United States.
And then bam, there's my government name right there.
Dox myself again, right?
So there I am.
There's my signature, special agent HSI.
Okay.
And this was signed on the 29th of the 29th of August.
Okay.
And this is the judge.
Really nice guy, Edwin.
So, okay, here we go.
Affidavit.
All right.
These are the facts of the investigation, guys.
All right.
So somebody said, Jonas Michelle, that dude's Haitian as fuck.
Yes, he was Haitian, man.
Shout out to all my Haitians.
He's a nice guy.
He wasn't a bad dude, man.
He just made a dumbass mistake.
All right.
So affidavit.
I am refuted, being duly sworn, deposed, and state as follows.
Remember, guys, what do I tell you all the time when you guys watch my show?
First paragraph is when you talk about your personal experience.
Okay.
What qualifies you to be the affian on this investigation?
I'm a special agent homeless investigation at HSI and have been so employed since 2013.
I'm currently assigned to the human smuggling group in the HSI Miami office where I'm responsible for conducting investigations regarding violations of federal laws, particularly those laws found in Title VIII, 18, 19, and Title and 21 of the United States Code.
You guys are probably wondering, what is Title VIII, Title 18, Title 19, and Title 21 of the United States Code?
Well, guys, Title VIII is immigration.
Title 18 is criminal.
Title 19 is customs.
And Title 21 is drugs.
Okay.
These are the authorities that I have.
Okay.
And I was actually Title 21 designated.
Not all HSI agents, guys, are Title 21 designated.
Only some HSI agents can work drug investigations.
I was one of the few that had Title 21 designation, which I spoke to you guys about this before.
The DEA gives out Title 21 designation.
They give it out to certain agents in HSI.
You have to work drug investigations to be Title 21 designated.
And then also the FBI has Title 21 as well.
But that DEA is the primary agency that gives Title 21 designation, which is the ability to investigate drug trafficking crimes federally.
Okay.
Prior to this assignment, I was an HSI special agent in Laredo, Texas, where I conducted investigations as a lead case agent relating to drug smuggling, trafficking, weapons violations, border violence, and kidnappings, and human smuggling.
Yes, I did a lot while I was on the border.
I will be breaking down some of the cases I did on the border for you guys as well.
I did kidnapping cases.
I did murder for hire.
I did control deliveries.
I did all that crazy shit, man.
So don't worry, guys.
I will break down more of my personal cases, but I figured I'd give you guys this one because this one was kind of a funny case.
The same as containing this affidavit are based on my personal knowledge as well as information provided to me by other law enforcement officers and law enforcement support personnel.
Because this affidavit is supported for the limited purpose of establishing probable cause for a criminal complaint, it does not include every fact known to me in connection with this investigation.
I've only set forth the facts that I believe are necessary to establish probable cause that Juan Carlos Paulino and Jonas Michelle did knowingly conspire to encourage and induce aliens to come to enter and reside in the United States knowing and a reckless disregard of the fact that doing so to entry and residence is and will be in violation of law and title in violation of Title VIII of the United States Code.
What is Title VIII?
Guys, like I told you guys before, that's human smuggling.
Okay.
Human smuggling is Title VIII.
All right.
Also, I want to say as well that human smuggling, guys, remember, it's not the same as human trafficking.
Human smuggling is the illegal movement and smuggling of illegal aliens into the United States.
Now, you guys are probably wondering, well, how the fuck does that work?
Anytime an illegal alien comes into the United States, guys, nine out of 10 times, that person paid a smuggling organization to enter the United States illegally.
Okay.
Human smuggling is a big business.
Most of the illegal aliens that reside in the United States today probably came in through some type of illicit organization that facilitated their smuggling into the United States.
You probably say, well, why?
How is that possible?
Well, guys, the reason why is because all the routes to smuggle illegal aliens into the United States are controlled by criminal organizations.
These criminal organizations will punish you heavily if you try to cross into, like, for example, in Rado, Texas.
If you try to cross into the Rio Grande River into the United States, right, you cross the Rio Grande into the United States, the Losettas are going to fucking kill you, okay?
Because you're supposed to pay, the smuggling organization is supposed to pay $1,000 for every single alien that crosses the bridge or excuse me, crosses the river.
The cartels take a big tax on anyone that smuggles aliens.
Maritime smuggling, which is like in Florida, is very similar.
In the Bahamas, all the aliens got to pay a fee to basically cross into the United States as well.
Okay.
So, human smuggling, guys, is a very profitable, illicit business.
Okay.
Not to be confused with human trafficking, two different crimes.
Okay.
Like the video because you're only going to find this stuff out on FedIT.
Okay.
On July 29th, 2018, at approximately 6 p.m., the United States Coast Guard cutter encountered a white and blue vessel approximately 20 nautical miles east of South Florida.
Okay, you guys are probably wondering, where the hell is a U.S. Coast Guard cutter?
Okay.
I will show you right now what a Coast Guard cutter is, guys.
It is this big-ass ship right here.
Okay.
These types of ships do patrols.
Okay.
Oh, that's huge.
Yeah, it's huge, right?
And I was actually, I was on one of them for this case, and I'll talk about that here in a second.
But yeah, these ships are, you know, patrolling the oceans.
Okay.
They're patrolling the oceans and they're catching smugglers all over the time, whether people are smuggling drugs, illegal aliens, whatever it may be.
Someone said in the chat, that's what she said.
Yeah, that's what she said.
Oh, my God, man.
I knew that was going to come.
All right.
That's what I said.
It's not, yeah, it's not FedEx, unless there's a purview joke somewhere in there, right?
So that's a U.S. Coast Guard cutter, okay, guys.
So let's see here.
Okay.
So on July 29th, they encountered a blue vessel approximately 20 nautical miles east of South Florida.
Okay.
So this is roughly, guys, where they found these guys right about here.
Okay.
About 20 nautical miles.
So right around in this area right here.
Okay.
And as you guys can see, Bimini, the Bahamas, is right here.
This is only about 60 miles from Miami, by the way, guys.
Okay.
So it's not far.
Okay.
It's about 60 nautical miles, if I'm not mistaken.
You can make this trip in a few hours if your boat isn't fucked up.
Okay.
So, but this is funny how they found him.
You guys are going to see this here in a second.
The vessel appeared.
Okay.
So Toto, nautical miles east of South Florida.
U.S. Coast Guard officers observed two individuals on a deck wearing life jackets.
The vessel appeared to be in poor condition, and the route the vessel was on was a known smuggling route.
U.S. Coast Guard officers stopped and boarded the vessel to conduct an inspection.
Okay, and they can do this, guys.
It's a lawful inspection.
Okay.
It's a safety inspection.
U.S. Coast Guard officers identified the boat captain as Juan Carlos Paulino and the subject assistant Paulino in the operation of the vessel is Jonas Michelle.
Okay, so he's officially the captain of the boat, okay, which means he has to be in compliance of certain safety measures.
In response to administrative questioning, Paulino said he was returning from Bimney, Bahamas, and was heading to Fort Lauderdale, Florida.
Okay, which clearly he was nowhere near Fort Lauderdale.
He was closer to Miami.
Paulino further stated he had three other subjects on the vessel for a total of five occupants.
Paulino stated the subjects were his neighbors.
Yeah, this is where it starts getting funny with the lies.
It's going to start getting pretty fucking funny here.
I don't think so.
Oh, but don't worry.
It gets better.
Okay.
Okay, let's see how it gets, but it gets better.
Paulino did not know their nationalities, but he said he believed they were U.S. citizens, U.S. residents.
Oh, yeah.
Really?
The three subjects had what purported to be Florida driver's licenses.
Okay.
U.S. Coast Guard officers encountered the three subjects in the cabin of the boat and took their Florida driver's licenses to conduct record checks.
The U.S. Coast Guard officers notices the addresses on the subject driver's licenses were not near Paulino's address as listed on his Florida driver's license.
Remember, he said there were his neighbors, right?
So they got him already in a lie.
All right.
U.S. Coast Guard officers also noticed the three Florida driver's licenses look brand new despite the fact they purported to be several years old.
It was subsequently discovered these driver's licenses were fraudulent.
Wow.
So they had fake Florida IDs, the three people on the boat.
I need a fake Florida ID.
Can someone help me with that?
Get the DM.
You can hit up Paulino.
Get the DM if you can help me get a fake ID.
She's just kidding, by the way, guys.
I'm not kidding.
All right, I'm going to have to send her to jail after this one.
No, please.
None of the subjects spoke English.
Two of the subjects, DFP and JGP, which, by the way, guys, we didn't put their names in the affidavit because for obvious reasons, but they were, these are the initials of the witnesses, okay?
Were later identified as citizens of Ecuador.
And the third subject, SCB, was identified as a citizen of the Dominican Republic.
So all three of them were actually illegal aliens, okay?
Through checks of government databases, all three subjects were later determined to be aliens with no documents or permission to enter or remain in the United States legally.
So the fact that he had these three aliens on his boat, guys, and they didn't have documents, pretty much alien smuggling.
But let's keep going, okay?
DFP told one of the U.S. Coast Guard officers she had been living in the United States for six months.
The U.S. Coast Guard officer asked DFP how she had a Florida driver's license that was three years old if she had only lived in the United States for six months.
DFP began to cry and admitted the boat captain, Paulino, gave her the fraudulent Florida driver's license.
All subjects were detained and transferred to the U.S. Coast Guard cutter for further processing and investigation.
Approximately 10:30 p.m., HSI investigators responded to the U.S. Coast Guard cutter.
The agents conducted preliminary infield interviews of all subjects on board the cutter.
So, what, um, Susie, what are your thoughts so far on this bad boy?
That's crazy.
Like, if I wasn't born here, like, can you smuggle me in?
Shit.
Yeah, it's too bad that I was born here.
Yeah, yeah, you.
U.S. citizen.
But if I was born in like another country, you would have to pay a lot of money.
I'd be hitting them up.
Yeah, you would have to pay a lot of money, though.
To that.
But, so, yeah, guys, I mean, and you guys are probably wondering, those HSI investigators, who were they?
Your guy right here and my buddy, whose day it was actually, it was his duty day, but I ended up taking this case, okay, guys.
Um, because I was like, fuck it, I'm here.
I'm whatever.
I'll take this case, guys.
I'll take this case, right?
So, um, anyway, let's continue on.
Damn, Marin is too fine.
I was trying, I was trying, man.
I was trying.
High Value Man values.
You're gonna fuck it up for us because now they're gonna think that we're having sex.
We, we don't, we can't do this.
No, but like, Miami is so small.
Like, I can't help it that I saw you at the Brickle City Center.
Yeah, that's true.
It is too small.
It is too small.
But we're gonna watch a movie together.
We're sworn enemies, guys.
Me and her.
Yeah, we are.
We are.
After he kicked me off, yeah, that's this is true.
After he kicked me out, um, I think we need to have a conversation about that.
Yeah, I hate her.
I hate you.
Okay, fair.
The feeling is me.
I hate you.
All right.
The HSI investigators read Paulino his Miranda rights.
Okay.
Oh, sorry.
All subjects were detained and transferred to the U.S. Coast Guard cutter for further processing.
At approximately 10:30 p.m., HSI investigators responded to the Coast Guard cutter.
The agents conducted preliminary infield interviews of all subjects on board the cutter.
I remember this shit, man, because it was late as hell at night.
And I remember I had to go all the way to the Miami.
I had to go to the Miami Coast Guard station, right?
And we took a boat out there.
And I'll show you guys this real quick just so you guys kind of know what I'm talking about here.
So you guys can be in the moment with me.
So U.S. Coast Guard, Miami.
Okay.
It's right here on the causeway, right?
So I remember vividly, right?
This is it right here.
Right?
This is it right here.
So you got to go off the causeway, right?
And then you go, and then you get off the causeway and you go in here.
And I'll never forget.
Let me see if I get an image so I can get a bigger one for you guys real fast.
U.S. Coast Guard, Miami, McArthur.
Let me go back a little bit.
Hit images.
Images.
Okay, this one is it.
Okay.
So let me.
Oh, God damn it.
Okay.
So right here, guys, is where we took off from.
And then they took us all the way out.
And basically, we went out several miles.
It was a while, I remember.
Miami map.
We went out like 10 nautical miles, 10, 15 nautical miles.
So we went out there, right?
So we get on the cutter, right?
Which is this big thing right here, which I showed you guys before, U.S. Coast Guard cutter.
Right?
We went on one of these bad boys, right?
So we get on here and they have the aliens on and they have the two, the two defendants, right?
Okay.
So I get on the boat and we basically read Paulino's Miranda rights, okay?
Which he acknowledged and wave.
Paulino stated he recently purchased his vessel and was taking it for a test run to Nassau, Bahamas.
Well, Michelle, Paulino said he left for the Bahamas on Saturday, July 28th, 2018.
Now, anyone that's, and when he said, told me this, guys, I immediately was like, well, hold on, hold on, bro.
You ain't going to take no fucking boat to Nassau, bro.
Nassau is far as hell, guys.
And just so you guys know what I'm talking about here, Nassau, Bahamas, right?
Let me show you guys Nassau, Bahamas, how far this shit is from Miami.
There is no way you're going to take a boat from Miami all the way to Nassau.
Look at that.
It's like 300 miles.
Bro, you can.
You can take a boat.
Yeah, but that piece of shit boat, it was like a really small, like a 20-footer.
Oh, yeah, it was a really small piece of shit.
I'm sure it can make it, but it'd be scary.
Yeah.
Versus like Bimini, right?
Is right here.
Yes, right.
Is about 60 miles, right?
This, yeah, look at this.
You take a bull all the way to Nassau, bro.
You lying.
Well, it gets better.
The story gets even better.
Oh, shit.
With their lies, okay?
So that's the first lie he says, right?
That made me go, okay, bro.
That doesn't make sense.
So he goes, so he said he left for the Bahamas on Saturday, July 20th, 2018, and was returning when stopped by a U.S. Coast Guard.
Polino said while traveling to the Bahamas, his vessel began to have mechanical problems and he stopped in Bimini to have it repaired by a mechanic.
Polino stayed a while in Bimini.
He received a phone call from SCB's uncle, one of the girls, one of the aliens.
He's claiming that one of the aliens was called him, right?
Uncle, asking him to bring SCB back to the United States because SCB had gotten into a fist fight in Bimini.
Oh, but you never know what happens in the Bahamas like Vegas, baby.
I guess, but getting in a fist fight, like, bro, like, that was a song.
Yeah, but it wasn't true, though.
If you're gonna be Rasha, then be ratchet.
So, Paulino stated he met with three subjects, including SCB, and brought them back to the United States as a favor for Miguel, okay, and was not going to be paid for the travel.
Paulino denied knowing the subjects were undocumented aliens or that he was attempting to smuggle undocumented aliens in the United States.
Paulino admitted he was on federal supervised release for a previous human smuggling conviction, guys.
Like, oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
So, let me let's rewind that real fast.
Let me sum that.
Let me sum that craziness up.
So, he basically says, Yo, I was taking my boat to Nassau, but it broke down on the way.
Okay.
And then I went to the Bimini.
I was there with a mechanic.
And then while I was there with a mechanic, one of the people that I was with, okay, he got in a fight.
And then his uncle called and said that I got to bring him back.
So I brought them back.
But, you know, I did it as a favor.
And I wasn't getting paid to do it.
You know, I just kind of did it for the goodness out of my own heart.
Oh, and by the way, I'm on supervised release for human smuggling.
So at this point, obviously the lies are fucking crazy, right?
So I go ahead and I say, okay, bro.
So Paulino provided H slide investigators verbal consent to search his phone.
And the investigators subsequently find a photo of the back of the aliens' fraudulent driver's licenses in a WhatsApp text message conversation to an unknown female and evidence of wire transfers to U.S. currency.
So we went through his phone, guys, and I remember this shit like it was fucking yesterday.
We go through his phone and we see that he's talking to some chick about the IDs and prices and he's like taking pictures of it, all this other shit.
And the IDs were like brand new, guys.
Like it was like, you could tell like they just came off the mint, okay?
But they were fake as fuck looking, right?
Worse than like you trying to get into a club or a bar, right?
You 19 years old, oh yo, this fake is gonna work.
Oh, yo, son.
And then the bouncer looks at you like, uh, nope, and just kicks you to the curb and says, get out of here.
That's basically what it was.
Okay.
So these guys use had fake IDs, right?
With the feds.
Then we tried to interview Michelle, but Michelle stated he did not want to speak to investigators and wanted to sleep.
And I remember this because it was late at night.
It was like 10:30 at night, right?
So they're on the fucking boat, like sleeping and tired, right?
Some of the aliens were sleeping, and Michelle was mad as fuck because we woke him up to talk to him.
I remember this shit.
He was mad as fuck.
And he was like, no, I don't want to talk.
I just want to go to sleep.
And I was like, all right, whatever, bro.
Like, you know, you're kind of just facing a very serious charge right now, and you're probably going to go back to jail, but like, you just want to go to sleep?
He was like, yeah, I want to go to sleep.
All right, cool.
No biggie.
Yeah.
So anyway, all five individuals were transferred ashore at the Miami Beach, Florida.
The undocumented aliens were transferred to immigration custody and Paulino and Michelle were released.
So you guys are probably wondering, whoa, whoa, whoa, Myron, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hold on one sec.
Why did you release them?
Well, guys, it's because I knew that these guys were full of shit and I had their phones.
So I was like, you know what?
I'm going to let them go and think that they're free.
But I'm going to go ahead and get arrest warrants for them.
Okay.
So I went, right?
So I, so I was like, okay, you know what?
I got, you know what you got to do?
Because remember, guys, we went out there late at night.
Paulino gave that bullshit ass story that he knew the aliens and that he was doing a favor for the uncle Miguel and driving the aliens back to Miami.
He wasn't getting paid, but he happened to be on probation for fucking smuggling aliens in the past, which was hilarious to me.
And then the other guy, Michelle, said, I just want to go to sleep.
So I was like, all right, you know what?
Y'all can go.
I released them, right?
I didn't arrest them that night.
And I'll tell you why.
I had the phones, okay?
And I got a consent search to search the phones.
So I gave the phone to one of my frens guys, right, to get searched.
Then I, um, then we went and re-interviewed the illegal aliens.
But here's the key, all right?
Here's a pro tip right here.
All right.
Always let the criminals sit in jail for a couple of nights.
For any of you guys that might work in law enforcement, okay?
And you want to get someone to talk to you.
I always let the criminals sit in jail a couple of days.
All right.
Let them stew.
All right.
And the illegal aliens, right?
The witnesses that were the key to the case, they were lying to me all over the place.
Like, oh no, he was a friend, blah, blah, blah.
But they couldn't tell me how they knew him.
They couldn't tell me details.
I'm like, how they knew it met each other.
The licenses were off, like all this bullshit, right?
So I was like, all right, cool.
I'm going to let y'all go sit in immigration jail for a few days, right?
Because they're illegal aliens.
They can't go anywhere.
So they get sent to the border patrol station and then they end up going to the immigration and detention center here.
This is all public information.
ICE.
Okay.
And okay, they ended up going here to the Broward Transitional Center, okay?
Which is an ICE facility.
Okay.
And so I let them go there, right?
All right.
In Pompano Beach.
All right.
And that's about Pompano Beach is about 40 minutes from Miami, as you guys can see here.
All right.
So I let them go there for a couple days.
All right.
And this is it right here.
All right.
Well, they don't have a picture of it or anything.
God damn it.
Let me see if I could get an image for y'all.
What the hell?
Okay.
Ice cream.
They would put the ice.
Yo, this is fucking comedy, man.
All right.
So anyway, we'll move on.
So anyway, so they put them in the ice facility, right?
So I go there a couple days later.
So on August 20th, right?
So a month later, right?
So I get all my information together, right?
I get the phone information.
I get my case together because I'm like, I'm going to go get an arrest warrant for these guys, right?
So a month later, on August, not a month later, almost a month later, a couple weeks later, on August 20th, 2018, HSI investigators interviewed CSB at the Broward Transitional Center, BTC, in Pompano Beach, Florida.
CSB admitted he paid money to be brought to the United States by a boat and was provided a fraudulent Florida driver's license by Paulino.
He said Paulino was the captain of the vessel and Michelle was his helper.
On August 24th, HSI investigators interviewed DFP and G JGP separately at the BTC in Pompano Beach, Florida.
Each admitted they paid money to be brought to the United States by a boat and identified Paulino as the captain and Michelle as his helper from the photo arrays.
So I went there, guys, with photo arrays.
Okay.
You go there.
It has like six different pictures, okay?
Or they call it a six-pack, six-pack or a photo array.
And I showed them which one was a smuggler.
And they all identified Paulino and Michelle.
All right.
So each admitted they paid money to be brought to the United States by a boat and identified Paulino as the captain.
Michelle's his helper from the photo arrays.
They each stated they were provided fraudulent driver's licenses by Paulino.
DFP stated Michelle provided them water and snacks while they were on the vessel.
DFP stated Michelle also instructed them to take batteries out of their phones and to give him the phones.
Michelle put the phones in a compartment on the vessel during a search of Paulina's vessel after the U.S. Coast Guard encounter.
HSI investigators found multiple sellers' telephones in a black bag with the batteries removed.
Okay.
So JGP stated Paulina told him JGP better pay him because last time an alien inconvenienced him.
He got shot.
He shot the Cuban alien two times for not paying.
So one of the aliens got really scared.
That's why they lied guys to the police because they were scared of Paulino.
And Paulino had a very long criminal history, guys.
He was selling drugs in the 80s.
He was doing all kinds of crazy shit.
He was actually like a connect for a drug plug out in the Midwest somewhere.
All right.
So based on upon the foregoing, I respectfully believe there's probable cause to believe that Juan Carlos Paulino and Jonas Michelle did knowingly conspire to encourage and induce aliens to come to enter and resign United States knowing and in disregard, reckless disregard of the fact that such coming to entry and residence is and will be in violation of law and violation of Title 8 United States Code 1324, all these subsections, which is human smuggling, guys, right?
And then further your affiance say not saith not, which is a fancy way of saying, I ain't got nothing else to say, motherfuckers.
And then wait, can I say something?
Yeah, go ahead, please.
That's Tldr.
What's TLDR?
You know what TLDR is?
Oh, yeah.
Too long didn't read?
Yes.
Oh, further affiant saith not.
Is that what you mean?
Yes, TLDR.
I'm going to have to give you a bigger.
You got to come with a better joke.
I just, I can't handle all that information.
I'm not going to lie.
Yeah, I ain't going to lie.
It is kind of redundant.
It's kind of annoying.
But this is how the court, you, you got to write these court documents.
It is what it is.
Yes.
But anyway, yes, you sign it, right?
And then I get went and took it to the judge.
So this was almost a month later, guys.
And then also, you guys are probably wondering, yo, Meyer, why does it matter that he gave them food and he gave them instructions?
Well, guys, the reason why it's important is because when you give the aliens instructions, that shows leadership role.
That shows that they're trying to, that they had power over the aliens that they were smuggling them in.
They're giving them instructions because when you're a smuggler, you have to give aliens certain types of instructions to not be detected by law enforcement, to facilitate the smuggling in a smooth way, giving them food, taking care of them.
That all constitutes as you being the smuggler and them being the smuggles.
And then also the fact that he told them to take their phones to turn their phones off and take their batteries out.
That's common so that they don't have the location data.
So when law enforcement catches the illegal aliens, they're not able to figure out where they were.
Okay.
It's a feeble attempt to go ahead and try to disguise where they came from.
All right.
Oh, he said, like the video for Susie.
Yes, like the video for Susie and her bad jokes, guys.
Does anybody want to tell you a bad joke?
Yes, go ahead.
Tell the people a bad joke before we get into indictment.
Yes, really?
Okay, I have many jokes actually.
Which one?
Which topic should my joke be about?
The funniest one you got.
Go ahead.
I have many funny jokes.
I'm very, I'm a very funny person.
Give the funniest one.
It's Susie.
What the fuck is she doing on here?
I think Miami's so small that we'll just run into each other.
Obviously.
All right.
You missed your opportunity for the joke.
Oh, damn it.
I guess I'm just not funny, honestly.
She gives it.
I'm not funny.
I'm not a funny person.
Nope.
All right.
Nope.
So, where can I touch those buttons?
Nope.
I only have the buttons.
You suck.
I'm the captain now.
I suck.
I want to touch those buttons.
Figuratively and literally.
All right.
So damn it.
All right.
So this is the indictment here, guys.
Okay.
So the way a criminal case works is when you write a criminal complaint, you got about two weeks to indict the person.
Okay.
So in this case, we're able to indict this thing on September 13th, 2018.
And you guys are probably wondering, okay, well, how does an indictment work?
How does that go?
So long story short, after you write a criminal complaint, you got to formally charge your individual.
Okay.
So for you to formally charge your individual, you got to go into something called a grand jury.
A grand jury is basically the convening of a bunch of citizens and people.
It's just like think of it like a jury, right?
And they put them in a room.
You go in there.
The prosecutor asks you questions.
You talk about the case.
And then they go ahead and they submit a true bill.
Okay.
If they feel that there's sufficient evidence, there's probable cause to indict the individual, which in this case, obviously there was.
We had a bunch of evidence.
And remember, guys, I didn't put everything in a criminal complaint, but we also had stuff in the phones that showed that there was a smuggling event.
The witnesses basically testified, yes, I was paying them money to smuggle me into the United States, which contradicted what Paulino had originally said, if you guys remember.
So we went ahead and got them indicted, right?
So after I got them indicted, right, you know, count one conspiracy to encourage and induce aliens to enter the United States, Juan Carlos Paulino, and Jonas Michelle, right?
Count two and four, encouraging and inducing aliens to enter the United States.
And remember, guys, it's one account per alien, okay?
Count two, count three, and count four.
And these initials are their full names.
Okay.
And then count five through seven, bring aliens to the United States for commercial and private gain, gain, okay?
Which they were getting paid.
If I'm not mistaken, Paulino was getting paid, like him and Michelle were getting paid about $10,000 to do this, if I'm not mistaken.
Okay.
And their job was to go get the illegal aliens and then bring them back to the United States.
Okay.
But the problem, you know why they got caught?
They got caught because their boat broke.
And you know, you know what's funny?
So they were claiming, right?
This is the best part of the thing.
And I remember I had to go to a suppression hearing because of this.
They claimed that the boat drifted them to Miami.
Okay.
Which is hilarious because the current in the Atlantic Ocean actually goes up.
It doesn't go.
It doesn't go.
It doesn't go east.
So they claimed that they magically drifted towards Miami and they didn't intend for that to happen, right?
With their boat, their story was, yo, the boat died and we were drifting to Miami, which is not true because I forget the name of the current, but there's a certain current for the Atlantic Ocean on the Atlantic side that it goes north.
It does not go east.
So that was another one of their stories that they tried to get suppressed, which was hilarious.
But yeah.
All right.
So I'll read the chats real quick.
We got King Driver 504, 20 bucks.
My needs should do a breakdown on the Netflix documentary called The Most Hated Man on Internet.
It's about Hunter Moore and the website is anyone up.
Never heard of it.
Why would I do that?
Is that like criminal?
I mean, I don't know who that individual is.
Anything else, Susie, or hey, guys, if you want me to read your chat, send some money and I'll read it.
That's the only way I'll read it.
Yeah, you know what?
We should have you read the chats in like a sexual voice.
Yes, I'll read the chats, but send some money.
Yeah.
Send some money over.
We're making an extra purview for y'all.
Do you ever remember that joke yet?
No one remembers that joke yet.
All right.
And then we got the forfeiture allegations here now, guys.
Okay.
So the forfeiture allegations is basically like, you know, when you take people's money or you take their assets, right?
That's what forfeiture typically is.
And, you know, they gave a true bill on this thing, right?
And yeah, this is my AUSA, Philip Jones.
Shout out to him.
Very nice guy.
But yeah, we got a true bill on it.
And then Paulino and Michelle ended up pleading guilty, guys, okay?
Both of them ended up pleading guilty, right?
Because our evidence was good.
We had a lot of forensic evidence on the phones.
And here's the other thing, too.
On Paulino's phone, guys, we found evidence of drug trafficking, a bunch of information on there.
So I could have gotten him on more crimes, but you know, I ended up just like, hey, you know, he ended up cooperating.
We ended up working with him.
And yeah, it was, you know, I won't talk too much about like what ended up led to that, but you know, it was a good case.
And yeah.
And then they ended up getting time.
All right.
So this is Paulino.
How much time did he get?
He ended up getting, let's see here.
He got 37 months.
Okay.
And he had a long ass criminal history.
He was going to do more time.
And his health wasn't too good.
He was an older guy.
Okay.
And then we got Reserve 3 Mentee.
I had an internship at Fletse during college.
Met a lot of HSI and other agency guys training there.
Currently working in corporate security with a financial company.
Love these insights.
All right.
I'm glad you enjoy it, man.
Enjoyed your time there.
Yeah, man.
The private sector always pays way more than the government sector, my friends.
You guys and the government sector is way better.
There you go.
So she's going to give it to you guys in a sexy voice.
You all want to talk or not?
So he got 37 months.
And then Michelle, how much time did he get?
He ended up getting 36 months.
Okay.
He had a pretty good criminal history too.
He was involved in some gang activity, man.
So that's a whole other story.
And he would not, he kept lying through his teeth, bro.
Even when we, like, he was the one that came up with the story that they just drifted to Miami.
And I was like, bro, there's no way that you drifted to Miami.
There's no way.
It's impossible.
Okay.
So yeah, their lies were ridiculous, man.
It was a big L for them.
But yeah.
So cool.
And then read the case, the indictment.
And then, okay, I'll open it up to questions here.
That was a short and sweet one.
Guys, like the video, by the way, man.
That was a case that I actually did myself.
So had a, that brings back some good memories.
Yeah, that's a good ass case.
Let's see here.
They're saying, Susie, this ain't after hours.
What?
I know in after hours.
I'm just saying this is a good ass case.
Like, damn.
She's actually going to help me on another one, guys.
We're going to do another reaction for y'all after this.
We're going to film for you guys.
Okay.
This is snitching and taking notes to report to judge.
Okay.
All right.
Fair enough.
Fair enough.
I don't know what you mean by that.
Jasmine Lee, are you afraid that one of these criminals organizations will find you and want to harm you for playing a part in interrupting their operations?
You know, when I was in Texas, I'm not going to lie.
I used to walk around with my gun everywhere.
I used to sleep with that shit.
But, you know, I'm still armed everywhere nowadays, too.
So it's whatever.
I mean, I've accepted it.
Come to me.
That's crazy.
That's scary.
Yeah.
Like the video for Susie.
That's for Michael Mee Stroke.
Yeah, guys.
Like the video for Susie.
Thank you.
You guys are so sweet.
Like the video for her bad jokes.
Okay.
So you can get her.
Very funny.
So we can get her in her improv class.
How do you get a hold of the WhatsApp messages if they're end-to-end encrypted?
Well, I had his phone, gentlemen.
That's the key right there.
You know what I'm saying?
I had his actual phone.
Caesar salad, 10 bucks.
Hey, Martin, I really enjoy watching these in-depth streams.
Hit the like, ninjas.
Yes, guys.
Hit the like button.
And if you guys like me doing more cases like this that are like cases that I actually did, let me know.
I'll do more of them.
I just don't do them that often because I'm not sure if y'all want them.
Pretend to Frank Castle, Susie.
No, that'd be funny.
Let's do it.
Yes, from last time.
Let's do it.
Susie, get the fuck out of here.
Okay, do it.
Do it.
Do it.
Susie, get the fuck out of here.
Okay.
Look.
Yeah, you got to.
Yep.
All right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Get out of here.
Get the fuck out of here.
They don't.
Yeah, they're tired of you.
Yeah, I'm going to Frank Castle you.
Yes.
Yeah, I'm going to Frank Castle.
Get out of here.
You're going to Frank Castle me?
Yes.
Say it to my face.
Say it to my face.
Well, I'm on a live stream right now.
I can't say it to your face physically.
Frank Hastley right now.
All right.
See, guys, you just ignore.
This is what you do.
No, I'm just going to ignore her now.
Take a seat, woman.
Take a seat.
All right.
Let's see what else we got here.
Frank Hastle.
See, now they're definitely going to think they're oversleeping on each other.
No, you're going to get me in trouble, man.
No.
Frank Hastley, it's okay.
Can I sit on your lap?
No, that'll make it too obvious.
No, that'll make it too obvious.
Get out of here, woman.
Get out of here.
Move.
Move, woman.
No one cares, woman.
No, you get out of here.
Get out of here.
No one cares.
You're going to fuck me up with my other chicks.
Get out of here.
Lily?
Is that how you feel?
Get out of here, woman.
See what you guys did?
See what you guys did?
See, now I got to end the street.
No, I'm just kidding.
Here, take a seat.
Take a seat.
Take a seat.
Can I stay here?
No, not here.
Not here.
Here.
For the next show.
The next show, woman.
Okay, fine.
All right.
Look what you guys did.
See what you guys did?
You guys get me in trouble.
Damn.
Okay.
Oh, yeah.
She got raw.
Can we delete that, please?
Like, can we delete that off the internet?
We're going to delete it off the internet.
Please.
It's going to go off the internet.
Oh, no.
All right, cool.
So, what else here?
Now, all jokes aside, guys, we're going to do another thing.
Actually, Susie is prepared for it.
She actually watched the documentary.
Yeah.
So we're going to cover.
I liked it.
We're going to cover the FBI shooting for you guys from the 80s, the shootout.
So we're going to that will come out on Tuesday.
I'll do it for you guys.
I got the Robert Hanson one ready to go, but we're going to do that one for you guys because I got a lot of requests for it.
So anything else here?
All right, cool.
All right.
Awesome.
I hope you guys enjoyed that show.
I think I caught all the chats.
Why did you put that comment on the screen?
What the fuck?
Oh, yeah.
It's getting logged on for sure.
Excuse me.
What the fuck?
Razor 3.
Did you start with CBP and make your way into NHGRI?
No, no, no.
That comment that is on the screen is like, it's bothering me.
What the fuck?
There you go.
Reverse Frank Castle.
Excuse me.
There's the next one.
No, the comment before that is bothering me.
Does it hurt your feeling?
It doesn't hurt my feeling.
It's weird.
All right.
We'll read this one then.
Reverse.
Reverse.
Read this one in your sexy voice.
Okay.
Did you start with CBP and make your way into HSI?
Or what track did you take for those curious about it?
HSI usually requires college plus 3LE experience, right?
I think it means three years of law enforcement experience.
No, I was an intern with agency first, guys.
So from 2010 to 2013, I was an intern and then I became an agent in 2013.
So that's how I did it.
But typically, yes, they want a college degree or some kind of law enforcement experience.
A lot of people come in through the actually, most HSI agents nowadays are coming for either Secret Service, Word Patrol, or customs.
A lot of Secret Service agents come over to HSI because all you have to do, you've already been through Fletsy Criminal Investigator Training Program.
So you just go through HSI portion.
We have so many Secret Service agents that come over.
Can I say something or no?
Yeah, go ahead.
What do you want to say to the people?
That's not sexy at all in my eyes.
What's that sexy?
Like, whoever dropped that comment, like, oh, you still need your feelings about that?
That was like five minutes ago.
Marcus DS five bucks.
No, but like that comment, it's just not sexy at all.
Like, what about raw dogging?
Yes, that and something else.
Like, on top of that, they like said something.
Guys, always wear a condom, man.
Don't raw dog.
It's not good.
Ew, no.
I think I read this one.
All right.
I think we're caught off on the chats.
All right, guys.
So do me a favor.
Like the video.
Okay.
Susie, you got anything you want to tell the people before we?
You got that joke?
Yeah.
I want to talk to you, actually.
Are we cool or not?
No, we're enemies.
Remember?
No, because last time I felt like we left on a berry vanilla.
Well, we're enemies, though.
I don't know because I saw you today at the Briggle City Center and I was like, you know what?
Like I'm Donna, like, come on.
But like, are we cool or not?
Yes, we are cool, Susie.
So, like, we're still enemies, but we're cool.
How?
No, no.
I don't like to, I don't like to feel like we have a bad vibe on.
So we're enemies?
Yes.
No.
Yes, we're enemies.
No.
No.
Yes, we're enemies.
No, I think we have something going on for each other.
Maybe.
What do you mean, maybe?
Is it no, like, I think we've had something for each other since the first time we like we met.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Is it one of those?
Hold on.
Do I have a sound effect for this one?
I might have a sound effect.
No, like this one.
I think we like each other.
Do we?
I know you told me.
I'm going to get hit with the copyright.
No, like, I think we have something going on for each other.
I'm getting off here, woman.
So do you like me or not?
No, I hate you.
I hate you.
Do you like me or not?
Because I like you.
I'm going to be honest.
I like you.
I hate you, Susie.
Really?
Ew.
Ew.
Ew, ew, ew.
Do you like me or not?
No, I hate you, Susie.
We're enemies.
All right, guys, we'll catch you.
We'll catch you back.
Myron, my friend.
Catch you on Tuesday.
I'm a special agent with Homeland Screen Investigation.
Okay, guys.
HSI.
The cases that I did mostly were struggling and drug trafficking.
I've done title three intercepts, which is basically listening for phones.
Here's what FedEx covers: racketeering and Rico conspiracies.
Like here and after referred to as YSL do this.
6ix9ine.
And then this is Billy Sego right here.
Now, when they first started, guys, 6ix9ine Randall.
I'm a fed.
I'm watching this music video.
You know, I'm bobbing my head like, hey, this shit lit.
But at the same time, I'm pausing.
Oh, wait, who this?
Right?
Who's that in the back?
Firearms and violent crimes.
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