#722 You Don't Mess With The Zohan w/Rax King (preview)
TODAY: We mess with the Zohan by reviewing the bizarre 2008 Adam Sandler comedy following an Israeli super soldier who defects to the US when he tires of "all the fighting going on over there" in order to be a successful American sex criminal and Salon owner. Probably the most bizarre Sandler outing, the effort sees the star trying to make comedy with liberal zionism and (more effectively) ruthlessly depicting a revolting Israeli culture. In Zohan, we see two Israelis: the uber mensch zionist warrior from Jewish lore, and the deluded narcissist who can't stop sexually harassing people and getting into screaming matches with female service workers. Luckily this contradiction doesn't need to be resolved as we discover the bloody conflict is really being orchestrated by nefarious WASP mall developers (not that wrong actually) Order Sloppy by Rax King here or from your local bookstore Get a bonus episode every week by signing up at http://patreon.com/miniondeathcult for only $5/month
The whole movie is just like one long Chuck Norris joke.
Yeah, it is.
Now that you said Krav Maga, I'm like, that makes so much sense.
Like that is probably because he doesn't seem a particularly like, uh, whatever.
Let them have a fucking country.
Everybody else has got a country without interrogating what's actually happening or willing to full-throatedly endorse how they continue to, quote, get the country.
Or whatever.
And then he gets caught up when Israel does something gnarly.
You know, I mean, they're always doing gnarly stuff, but particularly gnarly that, I don't know, stays in the news for like a year and a half or whatever.
He's forced to be like, yeah, fuck it.
I support Israel.
I'll always support Israel.
All right.
Just let me keep making movies for Netflix.
Shut the fuck up.
I love he's like saying that, but he has never like gone there when he has the ability to go there whenever he's.
Not only, you know, he's not only like an American Jew, but he's also rich.
It's like, you could just go there and he just hasn't.
So it's funny that he's like making these statements, but doesn't care that much.
Well, that's what I'm saying.
Like, they seem like perfunctory statements.
It doesn't seem like he's actually that into Israel, but he's just like, he does probably being from a Jewish, you know, household in America, you know, statistically speaking, have like a positive view of Israel and grown up with these like Israeli myths that are present in, you know, not just like, Legends and, like, you know, whatever cultural importance, but then also, like, the actual Hezbollah that permeates, you know, all of us.
But anyway, okay, so yeah, he cut to him cooking, like, you know, barbecuing on the beach naked.
Just like an Israeli sex offender would, it seems like.
Like, this doesn't seem like a nude beach.
It seems like he's deciding to just be naked, which, I mean, you know, we already got the crotch shot and the catching the hacky sack with his ass, but this is, like, I think the genuine, like, first barrage of just total sex crimes that are going to be going on throughout this movie, perpetuated, yeah, nearly entirely by him.
Most of which involve him impressing his sexual or naked self onto other people.
He's naked so much.
Barrage is the right word.
Especially the first ten minutes of this movie.
It's just dicks, asses, assholes, bare asses, dicks.
We need an iron dome to protect us from these projectiles.
Yeah, he's digging hummus out of a jar, like a giant jar that's labeled hummus, while he's just naked cooking these fish.
I think like barehanded, he's just like flipping them over on the grill or whatever.
And yeah, the jar just has like hummus.
It looked, I thought it looked like handwritten on it.
And it just reminded me of like, I wish, I wish the jar were like, like, But yeah, there's a recurring gag in this movie about how much he likes hummus, and I know Israel, they like to lay claim to hummus.
I've had Palestinian hummus, though, so this doesn't impress me, this pro-Israeli hummus propaganda.
They keep inserting that tribe brand hummus.
Is that an Israeli brand?
Do we know?
I see it in store sometimes.
It was kind of branded like Sabra.
It looks similar to Sabra.
Maybe that's what they were going for.
It's actually the Lost Tribe.
It's actually from the black Israelites.
It's pretty good hummus, though.
It is good hummus.
I always pick it up when I buy my incense.
Yeah, and so he's flipping these fish on the grill, and of course he catches one of the fishes in his naked ass and laughs really hard about it.
And then he sees the IDF show up in a helicopter to call him back into service, just like what happened in Commando.
And then he goes away with the IDF agents after protesting a little bit because some terrorist is on the loose, and so he's got to find him again.
And he dances on the side of the Apache helicopter, whatever kind of helicopter it is, and the women are scared for him.
And yeah, they say, are they going to hurt him?
Are the IDF going to hurt Zohan?
And then I was like, wait, they don't know that he's in the IDF?
Isn't that why they love him?
It's just like he's just the best guy in the world who happened to go to the IDF.
Also, this is in Israel where nobody knows what the IDF is or has had to serve in it.
