THE OTHER KINDS OF WIOMEN, MAYBE SLIGHTLY LONELY, HUNGRY FOR SOME ATTENTION WOMEN? THEY MIGHT PRETEND INTEREST, THEN GO BACK IN THE KITCHEN AND LAUGH AT THE NERD. (UNLOCKED)
Teamsters approve a resolution to unionize Amazon, but is this the *right* way to get a living wage?? Also, facebook conservatives get tricked into complaining about the child tax credit, And actor Eddie Deezen posts about the heartless waitress who shamed him for demanding she wear fake eyelashes while serving him. Music: Mind Eraser - Manhood (originally posted 06/30/2021) We're patreon only for the holiday season due to Alex's busy schedule. Please enjoy this unlocked premium episode. New episodes continue to be released for subscribers at http://patreon.com/miniondeathcult - use your phone's browser (not the apple podcast app) to sign up for only $5/month
And conservative humor gone awry is going to fascist-fornia today.
So stay tuned.
We're going to take a few pictures of the desert and how their policies are actually messing it up.
It's not beautiful when you go across that border.
But stay tuned, guys.
I'm Alexander Edward.
And I'm Tony Boswell.
And we are Minion Death Cult.
The world is ending.
The very shrewd and calculating, very hungry for attention waitress is responsible.
We're documenting it.
What's up everybody?
It is your Patreon episode for the week.
Thank you as always for supporting the show and thanks as sometimes is required for your patience.
You may have noticed there was no free main feed episode this week.
It's because we had to postpone our normal Sunday recording for some very important plans.
Important stuff comes up and you've got to make adjustments.
We were going to record Monday and then Monday I almost had sun poisoning.
Almost had like a heat stroke.
So we weren't going to record Monday either.
And then, you know, we're already to the Patreon episode.
So you're getting it now.
What I will say is that all delays are due in some way or another to climate change.
So you can thank, you know, you can go ahead and thank the big corporations for that one, y'all.
Yeah, um...
It was about 106 up here in Seattle.
I'm having a hard time remembering why I left Southern California in the first place.
Pretty sure it was to avoid back-to-back 100 degree days, but we had that for the first time in Seattle this year.
Now you have that and shitty tortillas.
As somebody who works outside, the future's only getting brighter for me.
I mean that in a bad way.
Yeah.
This is, uh, you know, this is the coolest, the coolest, least bright summer for the rest of our lives.
Yeah, uh, they, like, stores were out of fans up here.
Stores didn't even have box fans up here, let alone air conditioning units.
Well, yeah, I remember that.
Like, no one has air conditioning up there.
Uh, that's fucking brutal.
That is fucking brutal.
Yeah, it was pretty bad.
Um, but hey, I'm sure it's gonna, you know, get better.
Um, There is some good news, though, I will say.
We got a hefty show to get to, so I'm just going to move us right along here.
The Teamsters, my union, voted to approve a plan to begin efforts in unionizing Amazon workers.
This was voted at a conference over the weekend, last weekend.
It was approved 99% to 1%.
Which is pretty good.
I believe there were only nine no votes from Teamster local delegates.
When will they get their addresses?
Shout out to Will, a friend of the show, who was one of those delegates, who I'm assuming voted in the affirmative to begin efforts to unionize Amazon.
And speaking of that, speaking of my work day on Monday, there was an Amazon driver.
We were kind of delivering to the same couple houses today.
And he was like, oh, you got AC in that?
And I was like, no.
And he was in a Sprinter, so he had AC. And I was like, I'm assuming you have air conditioning in that.
And he was like, yeah.
And then he was like, oh, but do you get paid more?
He was like, oh, but do you get paid a little more?
And I was like, I get paid like twice what you make, dude.
Yeah, brutal.
I was like, I make $40 an hour, dude.
And he was all, for real?
And I was like, yeah, man, we're union.
You guys need a union.
And he was like, $40 an hour would save my life right now.
He's like, I'm working six days a week right now.
Jesus Christ.
I was like, yeah, man.
We get benefits.
We get that good pay.
Our union, our national, just agreed to try and help you guys unionize.
So I really hope that happens for you.
Yeah, maybe talk to your friends at work about what we're talking about right now.
Maybe let them know.
I think that's illegal at Amazon.
I think you're not allowed to do that.
That is true.
They do have an amendment in the Constitution that says...
I mean, as they should.
They should be able to change that.
They pay enough in taxes.
They should be able to change the laws.
You're not allowed to make eye contact with your co-workers.
They make you wear a mask, but it's not for health reasons.
It just lets COVID right in.
It is so you can't give silent, non-verbal unionization tips to your co-workers.
You wear a face shield that slightly augments your eyes, makes them a little off, so people can't tell if you're blinking in a particular fashion.
Yeah, it actually prevents you from winking at your employees.
You're not allowed to give them the little...
Yeah, you can't do it.
It automatically blinks your other eye for you.
Yeah, but so, you know, Teamsters, we're going to try to help Amazon unionize what this means.
Bigger bottles for the drivers to piss in.
Beautiful.
A pad of post-it notes for every van so that you can take one and put it over that rear-facing camera that monitors you all day.
Hell yeah.
Hazard cones in every work area so when your co-worker dies, you can put them around them so nobody trips and falls.
Very smart.
Only one dead employee that happens that way.
That's just the tip of the iceberg.
That's awesome.
Um...
There was a very...
I don't know.
This is something that I've been wondering since I've been union since I was 18 and started working at UPS. I'm like, why aren't we trying to unionize FedEx?
It seems like a good idea.
Why are we putting money towards, I don't know, leveling the playing field among all delivery drivers?
Because...
Maybe it's just the American mindset, but there seems to be some sort of competition between employees.
Employees take on that competition, small business mindset against other employees.
They did the math, unfortunately.
They figured out that...
Because they know that a unionized workspace can and will typically work more efficiently.
Right?
Because a satisfied employee is a harder worker employee who delivers more, right?
They know that, but they can't advocate for that at the risk of it helping them out.
They know that them pushing people to the limit and that's how they're getting by is...
They know that that is what keeps them...
That's their weakness.
They know that.
They know that unions are good.
That's why.
Well, I'm talking about my union, not trying to unionize FedEx.
Because what I'm saying is like...
There does seem to be a sort of innate competition among employees across companies.
I take on the UPS brand and I think anything that's good for a FedEx employee is going to hurt my bottom line or something.
It's the power of uniforms.
It's so wild.
But if FedEx were unionized, they couldn't undercut the competition by paying their drivers less, giving them less benefits, that sort of thing.
So, I don't know.
I'm glad to see that the Teamsters are finally, I guess, taking Amazon and the competition seriously because, yeah, Amazon is going to devour us all if we don't take them down.
Man, I saw the homie at Kuka's the other day, yesterday, and he was wearing his Teamsters, like, pocket tee, like black pocket tee, and it looked so sick and I was so jealous.
Yep.
I was so jealous because unfortunately as a podcaster, cottage baker, we don't have a union yet.
We're working on it though.
There was a good post on Twitter that helped break the news of this vote, which is a pretty big deal.
Pretty big resolution.
This guy replied with this vote from the Teamsters.
This guy said, Gotta love the commies who know nothing of Jimmy Hoffa and the corruption of the Teamsters union.
What?
And it's very funny to me that you would look at employees making a living wage, able to support their kids, maybe even send a kid to college, not have to live paycheck to paycheck, and be like, these fucking morons don't even know that the guy who founded the organization was corrupt?
And it's like, well, there's a couple things.
A, corruption is just like, isn't that what the U.S. government says about every Latin American country before it assassinates their leaders and then installs a puppet regime that rapes and murders tens of thousands of people?
Yeah.
Yeah, that's the exact word.
It's like, we had to take out the corrupt regime.
This idea that corruption is something tangible, like, you know, the US government isn't corrupt, or UPS as a company isn't corrupt, or whatever.
So that's just a funny, like, boogeyman inserted here.
But also, like, if Jimmy Hoffa or if, like, Teamster leadership was corrupt...
And they were stealing from anybody who wasn't me or my co-workers?
Why would I care?
Yeah.
That's none of my business, really.
Like, they were shaking down corporations or businesses?
Like, what's the through line?
Like, I'm supposed to be offended on behalf of, you know, the politicians that Jimmy Hoffa greased?
Isn't that, like, tight?
Like, isn't that kind of a cool thing?
And, I mean, I don't know.
You're not thinking, though.
You forget that they never found his body.
And so you're basically saying that if you want a union, you don't want someone to find your body.
I remember my aunt, you know, who I love, told me that she used to work HR at some company.
And she said, like, the Teamsters came in and threatened her.
She said that Teamsters came in because she fired somebody or something.
They came in and she didn't say what they said, but she said they threatened her, meaning like they probably had a stern conversation with her or something like that.
Yeah, she was like, oh, you know, oh, yeah, they threatened me.
And I was like, well, did you deserve it?
Yeah.
Why were they threatening you?
Could you have done something that would have been making someone else's life better to avoid this conversation?
It's just like, I mean, you can sit there and say, you know, uh...
Oh, I was doing my job.
Or, oh, this was just...
It wasn't personal.
This person got fired.
This person is just written off as whatever.
And it's like, well, it's personal for me.
That's my income.
It's not like a fun little thought experiment like it is for this guy.
Because he goes on.
Totally.
He goes on.
Because I said...
He said, commies don't know anything about Jimmy Hoffa, blah, blah, blah.
And I was like, well, I know that I'm making a living wage and benefits, and that makes the right wing seethe with rage.
And that's, hey, that's a benefit in and of itself.
I'll take it.
And then he replied, he said, who said anything about right wing?
There are communists with hammer and sickle in their name.
Anyone can make fun of commies and be left wing.
I just happen to think the Teamsters are a corrupt union.
Amazon should unionize of its own accord with a fresh start.
Oh my god.
Hey, listen, I'm as left-wing as the next guy.
I'm just on here talking shit about, quote, commies and the Teamsters.
But I'm as left-wing as everybody else.
Yeah, exactly.
Hey, listen, you need to understand that the left-wing needs to be more critical of the commies.
Yeah, I love, Amazon should unionize of its own accord.
Oh, thanks, dude.
Cool.
How do you think this works?
In his mind, it's going to be Jeff Bezos' idea.
I think we should go ahead and unionize it.
You know, that's why he's stepping down, right?
He wants to allow for unionization.
I think that's cool.
You know what?
I think Amazon employees should make a living wage.
I think Jeff Bezos and Amazon should pay his employees a living wage.
Okay, now on to the next topic.
Like, who gives a shit what you think, dude?
Yeah.
And it's also just so funny, like, they need to do it the right way, you know?
Yeah.
Like, I'm all for unions, but I'm looking at your stuff.
It looks kind of corrupt, dude.
And, like, listen, I get it.
You want, you know, money for doing work.
And you want to, like, be able to feed your family.
And you want to, you know, have a place to live and everything.
But you gotta do it the right way.
You have to.
If I see you guys unionize and I spot any corruption, that's it.
I'm revoking my support of your union like that.
Listen, there's 24 hours in a day.
The workplace is only asking for 8 to 10. The math is simple there.
You got 14 hours to make your life better.
That's not my fault you're not doing that.
Yeah, and I mean, the way workplaces usually unionize is they ask for help from other unions, people who have done it before.
People who, I don't know, can lend them support.
Like, you don't start a new union, typically.
You try to...
You petition the existing unions for membership.
That's what happens.
For anybody who's not quite familiar with this and thinks, hey, why doesn't Amazon just do its own union?
Yeah, I think Jeff Bezos should get in there.
Whoever the current CEO is, they should start the union.
I really don't think people understand the true power of unions in that sense because that is what they're there for.
They're there to provide resources for this new group of people and this new business, probably old business, who needs help.
And they don't have resources.
Unions have lawyers.
Unions have money.
Unions have knowledge.
So that's why we do need that to come in.
You need other unions to help you out.
You can't go blind.
If you're thinking about unionizing at your workplace, please reach out to somebody.
Reach out to somebody.
Reach out to me.
I'll point you in a direction.
You can't just go it alone.
They got lawyers.
The business has got lawyers.
Uh, it's just, it's so cucked, this argument.
Like, oh, they need to do it the right way.
Oh, what about corruption?
I want my union to be pure.
I want your union to be pure, rather, I should say.
Like, it has to be pure or else it's not a good union.
I'm sorry.
And it's like, this is such, like, a, like, loser mindset.
Like, I mean, I'm taking him in good faith that he actually wants, uh, you know, better wages for people at Amazon or whatever.
Uh, And it's just like, you could extend this argument that he's making to almost any aspect of any labor movement or labor action.
You know, oh, well, hey, when you agreed to work for them, you said you would work for them at that pay rate.
And now you're going on strike?
Well, they agreed to their part of the bargain?
Yeah.
They paid you what you said you would work for.
Why should you go on strike now?
That's not fair.
I'm all for better wages, but just, you know, get a job that pays better wages.
Remember, when you sign on to something, it's your responsibility to account for inflation.
You can't think about how much you want to make now.
You can't think about how much you need to make five years from now.
And you ask for that.
Have fun.
Good luck.
It's just like, I don't know, it's this mindset of worrying about...
Yeah, you want your efforts to be recognized in a legal fashion and in a certifiable fashion.
But at the same time, the legal codes, the laws, the powers that be are arrayed against these sorts of efforts.
Everything is tilted against it, and you have to actually push.
You have to push to get these sorts of things, and other people are going to call those efforts to push.
They're going to say, oh, they're rude, or oh, they're corrupt, or oh, you're bullying, or oh, you're being a crybaby, or whatever.
There's it's not to me.
I just don't I can't understand the mindset of somebody who like looks at this kind of thing and is more worried about the rules or the appearances or whatever than the actual outcomes.
Like I don't I don't care about corruption.
I'm sorry.
It doesn't bother me.
Unless union leadership is losing money for the worker...
Like that's a corruption I would care about, but I wouldn't even call it corruption.
You would call it like, you know, bad management or mismanagement.
Yeah, something like that.
You would call it being a fucking, you know, a company man or whatever.
Yeah.
I mean, at that point, you'd almost be like, oh, it's time for a conversation about raising dues.
Like, I'm not appealing...
You shouldn't have to run out, you know?
I'm not appealing to, like, universal values when I'm arguing for unionization.
I'm not appealing to, like, abstract concepts of, you know, goodness or virtue or whatever.
I'm appealing to the concept of it is...
Labor versus capital.
And we are going to try and get as much as we can from capital.
That's the way I look.
I don't give a shit about how it's done for the most part.
Yeah, that's really none of my business.
That's why I pay my dues, so I don't have to worry about that.
That's what I'm saying.
If there was corruption, that's none of my business.
Some teamsters went to prison, that sucks.
I wish they hadn't.
But the bodies.
If you don't take care of the body, you can't go to heaven.
And then finally, yeah, so he said, I think Amazon should unionize on its own.
You know, that's the way you guys should do it.
And I said, you know, oh, cool, thanks, dude.
Appreciate that, bro.
And then he finally said, wait a minute, you're a teamster?!
Oh my god, because I have Teamster in my Twitter bio.
Should have seen this coming.
He says, oh my god, that's like a cop going into a comment section about police brutality and telling everyone it's not real.
Silence vested interest, man.
Oh, no, all you just said was, I don't have a union!
That's all you said right now, bro.
Like, calm down.
I love the idea of me being corrupt just because I have a union job.
Teamsters are one of the largest, if not the largest union in the country.
So you're calling every UPS driver corrupt?
And I never even denied there was corruption at the top, because again, I don't give a shit about it.
Sometimes you need to be corrupt to get the job done, and you get to file grievances, so we're good.
Yeah, I don't know.
It's like a cop going into a comment section about police brutality or whatever and saying, hey, I make a good wage.
Also, does this guy think that's not happening?
Because that happens a ton.
Only they use fake profiles.
Well, we know it happens a ton, and he's comparing me to that phenomenon.
Wow.
Come to think of it, yeah, UPS drivers are a lot like cops beating people up.
A UPS driver getting a good wage is a lot like cops shooting an unarmed black man.
I mean, I have received several damaged goods from your people.
And honestly, that TV didn't do anything to you.
It didn't need to come dented.
Okay, so I thought that was funny.
So a little bit of good news, a weird liberal response to it.
Good stuff here.
This was something that was sent to us from 404 on Twitter.
Something that's, again, just fascinating to me.
So this is a tweet from, I don't know, Verified Account.
I think he might be a reporter.
Don Moynihan.
Who tweeted out the day after child tax credit awareness day, Kevin McCarthy unveiled child tax credit.
What awareness on awareness day?
I get it.
Okay.
Kevin McCarthy unveiled child tax credit on awareness day to be clear.
Quote, this is not a real IRS poster.
The House Minority Leader posted a version of an old Social Security poster mocked up by Tobin J. Stone.
So there was like this...
Tobin J. Stone is like this college kid who...
He's like a policy wonk and he dabbles, I guess, in graphic design.
And he had this idea...
To create awareness of the child tax credit by mocking up an old social security poster, like a poster that was advertising the idea of social security when it was first created, but tweaking it slightly to apply to the modern day child tax credit.
And the poster is like, it's got a, the backdrop is, you know, the halls of Congress and there's a hand, a disembodied arm and hand sort of reaching toward the viewer with a check.
And the text says, a monthly check to you for each of your children until they turn 18. Start getting your monthly child allowance promptly.
Who is eligible?
Everyone in the United States with a child under the age of 18, regardless of income or work status.
File your tax return now to start receiving your monthly child allowance.
And it's got like, you know, the IRS seals and it says information.
More information can be found on the IRS.gov website.
So, yeah, this was like an old-timey poster creating awareness of Social Security, but tweaked again to, you know, reference the child tax credit.
Kevin McCarthy said, Posted this on Facebook.
This is where it becomes pertinent to this show.
Kevin McCarthy posted this poster to Facebook and captioned it, Infuriating.
The IRS is literally spending taxpayer money to advertise a government handout.
This is welfare without work requirements.
Incredible.
Yeah, so...
The child tax credit already exists.
I don't know when it was created, but it's been around for a while, as far as I can tell.
I think my whole life, it's been a topic of conversation around my household, I think my whole life.
And what it is, it's a tax credit, right?
So you have to file taxes to get it, first of all.
And then if you owe more than you would receive back in the child tax credit, the taxes just get deducted.
That amount gets deducted from the taxes owed.
If you owe less money than the tax credit, then you get money back.
But it is like your taxes that are being alleviated.
This is like what conservatives want from the government.
They want to just give people their taxes back instead of universal programs that provide services to people.
They want to just cut taxes, essentially, which is basically what this program does.
It's pretty simple.
It's important.
It is that thing that we've been asking for, but it gets painted a certain tinge, a certain hue, when talked about in certain circles.
Well, yeah.
Let me finish this thought.
It's like, I don't know if Kevin McCarthy...
Knows what the child tax credit...
It's hard to say.
Because he is acting, you know, caught off guard or astonished at this.
I guess just the advertisement is what he's upset about, which again was not actually put out by the IRS. It was like a student project sort of thing.
It was just a project by a college student on his own.
Yeah.
But he goes further and says this is welfare without work requirements.
So he's criticizing the child tax credit here.
And it would seem a lot of people on Facebook also were unaware of the child tax credit that they are likely benefiting from every single year.
If you have a child, you're benefiting from it.
So these responses are all courtesy of Don Moynihan.
By the time I saw this tweet, the post had been removed by Kevin McCarthy.
So it's unclear as to whether Kevin McCarthy removed the post because he was incorrect in saying that the IRS is the one who produced the flyer.
Or if he removed the post because he realized he was about to, like, foment outrage in the Republican base to get rid of the child tax credit, which would be unbelievably unpopular.
Which would be just, like, an unbelievably unpopular policy for the right wing to own.
I think it's just embarrassing all over.
I think that's why he deleted it.
At the end of the day, the people who are really good at finessing their taxes, and that involves the child tax credit, are Republicans.
They're so good at it.
This would be terrible.
So let's get into some of these responses.
Johnny Bowling says, just another tool to persuade the masses on their socialist agenda.
Should be spending this money on the homeless and other people who really need it, not just hand it out to everyone.
And when is government going to start paying for this crap themselves?
So a lot of stuff going on in this comment.
Yeah.
Missing things entirely.
How would government pay for it themselves?
Like...
I don't know why...
What do you think government gets money from it?
I don't know what...
I mean, to be fair, like, the government prints money.
Taxes are, like, I think just to get money out of circulation kind of a thing.
I believe that's how it works, you know, to some degree or another.
I don't know.
I'm kind of an idiot.
But...
Yeah, like, when is the government gonna open its purse strings, huh?
And pay for this stuff itself?
Come on.
Ridiculous.
Now that we got that part out of the way, I love that we should be spending this money on the homeless and other people who really need it.
I mean, yeah.
Like, A, this money is probably helping a bunch of people not become homeless.
You know what I mean?
Like, you know, it's like thousands of dollars.
Like, it's probably helping people pay some rent, you know?
See, I read it as, like, this money needs to also go to homeless people.
Because there are a lot of things that happen where, like, you don't get to benefit from this stuff unless you have an address.
Well, yeah.
I mean, there are a lot of homeless people who are still working and filing taxes, you know?
So, yeah, it would be harder to get your fucking refund check, though.
Um...
Should be spending this money on the...
Are you fucking kidding me?
Hey, instead of helping out hardworking families with kids, we should help the homeless.
That's what we on the right wing want.
Yeah, please.
And that was...
I'm not saying homeless people aren't hardworking, but that's like the meme, right?
Is that...
You're not fooling anybody Johnny Bowling by saying, I love just getting so mad about something you just discovered that you renege on every single other thing you've posted about in the last year.
This is an outrage!
This money should be going to kneeling football players instead!
Yeah, just totally flipping it.
I like that direction, though.
No, they're just, I don't know, I think that they think that you can just click a button and then a check comes to you if you have a kid, and you can kind of do it whenever you want.
And they're like mad that they can't do that, or they're mad that their baby's mom is doing that.
Mmm.
Because, I mean, I can, like, low-key relate, but not actually.
Like, not in real life.
Like, yeah, that's how it goes.
Like, they get a child.
Whoever has 50% or more gets the child credit, and that's how it goes.
Have a good relationship with your babe mama so you can get some of that money, too.
Yep.
That's the lesson.
Teresa High says, this just encourages those people who don't want to work, dot, dot, dot, to continue to have child after child.
Outrageous!
What about rewarding seniors that have worked all their life and earned their way?
And I love, like, this, again, this poster is an old Social Security poster.
This is the, pretty much, a very similar program that seniors have.
That seniors already have.
And this gets to the larger, very, I mean, there's a couple larger points about this that I think are great, but it gets to, you know, that like counter, like what if Facebook existed in 1945, whenever like social security was invented?
Like, what would the response from these people have looked like, you know?
And I realize, you know, the political climate was different back then.
But you would have had Theresa High saying something about how, Social Security for seniors, what about people that are working right now?
Just, you know, just anything to be a pill.
It's just like, I don't know, if they were back then, they would have uploaded a recipe for how to boil your suitcase and make it taste good instead of ask for a handout.
You know?
Yeah.
Yeah, they would have literally been advocating for licking boots instead of a welfare state.
You know, there's nutrients in there.
Um...
Yeah, and it's just funny to see this universal program that's been around forever.
Not forever.
Hyperbole, for effect.
It was a joke.
It's been around for a while, and just people who are definitely benefiting from it just still not understanding how they've benefited from it.
They're not understanding the way that government works and the good things that government is actually capable of doing.
Yeah.
And also, like you said, zero idea of how much they're benefiting from this.
Just complete denial of the reality of what they benefit from.
Peggy J Hill says, Are they incentivizing parents to have more children because they have seen it as easier to indoctrinate the young than, quote, transform the adults?
This is how the nanny state destroyed black family structure in many areas of our country.
Protect your children's legacy and pressure your congressmen to vote this down!
What?
What?
Hold on.
You don't want to wind up like the blacks, do you?
Wait, the nanny state?
Can you read that part back to me about the nanny state?
This is how the nanny state destroyed black family structure in many areas of our country.
What a wild choice of words in a country with a rich history of black people serving as servants or nannies who don't get to have time with their own families but are expected to raise white kids.
And they're getting paid pittance.
What the fuck is this verbiage?
Fuck you.
Also, if the whole idea is that black people are not working and using welfare, you know what that means?
That means that they're staying at home with their families.
If that's what you're saying, what you're saying is like, damn, these black people sure got it figured out.
They figured out how to spend more time raising their kids and less time working.
Fuck you.
Suck my dick.
I hate your guts.
I mean, it also shows that black people aren't getting paid as much.
They're not making as much money if they, like many other people from all races, it's a rich rainbow of being underpaid, but Well, I don't know, Tony.
Yeah, as you mentioned, you know, traditionally, you know, there were black nannies for white families.
And yeah, this is payback, you know, for what the black community did to the white community by nannying them, you know, now.
How do you like it now?
The government's doing it back to you guys, you know?
Yeah, and you know, I hate to do this to you, but I gotta say something on the air, because I spoke about it on the internet, but this whole nanny discourse bullshit is so insane.
Treat people that work well.
If you need help cleaning your house, go ahead and do that.
Tip them very well.
Do that.
Because myself personally, there were many times where I would not have been able to eat if nobody was paying my mom to clean their house and or office.
But they treated her well.
We ate good.
And it is labor.
It is good.
And you know what?
Sometimes you just need help cleaning the fucking walls.
You're doing the dishes because you're also a single parent who is not given the time to do this stuff.
It's fine.
Just treat laborers fair.
That's the conversation.
Fuck everything else.
I don't give a shit what your rich white self says about how you think that's classist.
You don't understand the actual dichotomy of it.
Treat your people well.
Don't go through agencies.
Pay people directly and pay them what you would expect to be paid and double that.
That's it about that.
Similar to the nanny talk is all.
Probably everybody's not as online as you are, Tony.
I barely know about this controversy.
Somebody was making fun of somebody for being a leftist and also paying somebody to clean their house.
Yeah, I don't even know the origin of it, but it basically became that people that clean houses are not a good thing.
And they're forgetting about the countless people who need to have a cash-in-hand job to exist in America.
Don't be a piece of shit.
Working people are like the number one supporters of other working people.
I don't understand how that's an own.
Like, yeah, I got fucking fast food yesterday.
Does that mean I'm bougie?
Because I paid a service worker to make me food?
Dog, people would make...
People would be upset about the way that I tip.
They'd be like, you don't get to talk about being broke and then tip the way you do.
That's how we live.
Treat people well, and that's fine.
You get to do it.
It's okay.
Sorry about that, but it felt relevant.
Are they incentivizing parents to have more children because they have seen it as easier to indoctrinate the young than, quote, transform the adults?
No, they're actually incentivizing people to have children so they can further...
I mean, back then...
Okay, I'm mixing my comparisons here.
But they're incentivizing people to have children so that there remains a large labor pool that they can pit against one another.
So that they can have a surplus of labor that cheapens the value of...
At least in the supply-side economics equation, cheapens the value of labor across the board.
I don't understand how having a...
Forcing parents or encouraging parents to have a bunch of kids is somehow like a socialist plot.
Yeah, it's pretty fucking wild.
And anybody knows that continuing to push the nuclear family structure is only an agenda of conservatives.
To push the narrative of have babies is only a conservative agenda.
So calm the fuck down.
I also like the idea that adults aren't easy to indoctrinate when all it took was a pleasant fake IRS poster and a Facebook post from Kevin McCarthy to get Peggy J. Hill to call for an end to the child tax credit.
Just like on a dime.
You were just transformed on a dime.
And it's pretty clear that this is...
They make it pretty clear that this is not a poster that is being pushed out by the government.
This is a Photoshop-like...
This is...
Why can't I think of the word I want to use right now?
What's the word about misinformation?
Fake news.
This is fake news.
This is clearly fake news.
Dude, these are the people who see a purple dildo photoshopped onto Michelle Obama.
They're like, oh, yep, she's a man.
I saw the photo of it.
I seen it.
Not only does she have a penis, but it is a dragon penis.
Teresa High says, this just encourages those people who...
Oh, I already read that one.
Solia Halliburton-Dorch.
Like, I want this to be a funny person.
Solia Halliburton-Dorch.
It is D-O-R-T-C-H. Oh, the T. The T really sends it home.
I fucking love that.
The T makes it.
I love that you knew that I needed that spelled.
Sola Halliburton-Dorch says, It sure infuriates me.
I am a senior citizen, a widow, retired and living on Social Security, and retirement from my former employer.
Oh, cool.
I wonder if those exist anymore.
I wonder if even half the people listening to this have a job with a retirement package.
It's so wild.
That's not even a thing I can think about.
I can't even think about retirement or anything like that.
I do have a retirement saved.
I think I have $300 in it.
If you were, like, in the military listening to this, then you have a pension.
Other than that, like, who has a fucking pension?
I mean, me, I do, but I'm sorry.
I gotta come clean.
I gotta be honest about the virtues of being in a union.
Again, yeah.
I just recently paid my quarterly taxes.
Yes, I still pay taxes on 85% of my social security.
It is sickening for me to know where my tax dollars are going!
And it's like, again, if we got rid of this child tax credit, we got rid of this shit today, you wouldn't be paying any less in taxes.
Just more of your, quote, more of your taxes would be going straight to the Pentagon.
It would be going straight to, like, a pit that just, like, pours money into a black hole at the center of the Pentagon.
Yeah, that pumps out, like, planes.
Yeah, I love the whole thing, too.
Don't you realize that the joke about...
Old people are just babies is kind of true.
Like, a kid can't get a job, so it's not fair that the parent has to take care of it that much.
You know, they gotta need a little bit of help.
And also, the child tax credit is really small.
It's, like, not a lot.
I think it's, like, less than $600 a year.
Oh my god.
Yeah, it's really...
It's pittance.
Um, the...
Yeah, I believe the reason that this is like kind of a more topical issue is because I think there was a temporary increase into the amount of the child tax credit by virtue of the pandemic, you know, whatever this.
Yeah.
So that might be why Kevin McCarthy is coming out strong against the child tax credit just in general because he doesn't want to see it expanded for obvious reasons.
Let me read this last post here, this last comment, and then get to a larger point about this that I think is very funny.
I don't know, not that funny, but just like...
Interesting, I guess.
Curious.
Louise Wilmoth Van Meter says, The government has went stark ravine mad.
Does people not know that this is being done to keep Dems in office along with other crazy things they are doing?
What's going to stop this evil?
Again, it sucks because it won't make a difference, right?
But if you were to do an actual breakdown of who...
Who benefits from welfare?
It's actually pretty, like, across the board in the sense that a certain amount from every demographic happens to be on it, right?
But the thing is, there is a lot of white people.
There's a lot of conservatives.
There's a lot of people in flyover states.
And if they were to really release that data that would say, like...
Look at Republicans that benefit from these things.
Look at Democrats.
Because Republicans have more kids.
Statistically, Republicans have more kids.
So they're benefiting this more.
If that were to go out, it would make no difference.
But statistically, Republicans are the workers.
But they still get the child tax credit.
Yeah, but they earned it because they worked.
That's true.
That's the reason you don't see conservatives going outside and marching against critical race theory or doing the...
Because they're fired.
The million man march to fire Colin Kaepernick from Nike or whatever.
That's the reason you're not actually seeing that is because they're all working.
Yeah, because they can't clock out for that.
But that would make no difference.
Even if they saw those statistics, it would make zero difference.
They'd be like, this is not real.
This is fake anyways.
Yeah, they would just rationalize it in their mind that they earned it, and the people that they've been conditioned to hate didn't earn it.
It wouldn't take much.
So, I love what's going to stop this evil.
Literally, like money going to children in this country.
Just the most evil thing I could possibly think of.
Yeah, I mean, no, the thing is, is that it should go to the children.
It should go to an account that the children can control.
Because some of these parents, you know, they're getting their nails done.
You know, they're getting their hair done.
You know, they're paying their electric bill and buying food.
You know, they're doing that.
They're not just giving it to the kids.
Listen, I would rather see one million freemium Minecraft skins than a single painted nail on one of these welfare moms.
Well, I mean, how can you expect a kid to become a premium streamer if they don't have the skins?
Then, yeah.
Do people not know that this is being done to keep Dems in office?
Yeah, it's almost like this is a really popular policy.
It's almost like it's something that people should like intrinsically and that the party who owned a policy like helping families succeed in this country would be, I don't know, universally beloved if a fucking party ran on an actual material policy like this.
So wild.
Like, the Democrats, like, if this came up for a vote to just create the child tax policy, the child tax rebate or refund credit, rather, it would pass the Senate.
You would get Joe Manchin would vote against it.
Kristen Sinema would vote against it.
Chris Coons, like, probably, like, 12 Democrats in the Senate would vote against this shit.
Easily.
Easily.
What they need to do is they need to put a bill up to where you can officially deny a child tax credit.
You can say no to it.
That's what we need.
We need to give them the option to opt out of it.
And then we'll just redistribute whatever they say no to.
Yeah, I don't know.
It's just funny because, yeah, the people benefiting from this are across the board in every party and no party, you know?
So the larger point that's funny about Kevin McCarthy posting this and then deleting it is just like...
How badly they've lost control of the base, like how much they've kicked the fucking hornet's nest of culture war and white grievance.
And I'm not saying that it's ever going to actually backlash on them, because all these people are insulated from any sort of negative ramifications all the way up to climate change.
And if they happen, they just didn't.
You know, if they happen, they just didn't, or they aren't.
It's that easy.
But they do answer to their donors.
They do answer to, like, the people who fund their campaigns.
And those people...
I would imagine wouldn't want to see the child tax credit be removed like just for purely for optics purposes like Campaign bundlers, they're probably not making much money off of the child tax credit, but it's some money.
It's like a tax rebate.
It's a tax write-off, and I don't think that the conservative party is going to really go for that sort of branding exercise.
And it's just funny to say, like, oh, this is welfare.
This is a gimme.
This is a welfare without work requirement.
And, like, people actually buy that.
Like, you're fucking the idiots who follow you, like, listen to you, are just like, yeah, totally, we hate ourselves.
Like, please punish us.
Also, these are going to people who are filing their taxes, right?
You can only get this if you file your taxes.
That's the whole point of these advertisements is to say, hey, if you file your taxes, come out of the shadows or whatever, you'll get a little bit of credit for it.
Yeah, and it's not even saying you're going to get money.
It's mostly saying you're not going to pay as much.
But hopefully, yeah, you get $350 back.
That'd be cool.
See, I thought it was added up to $1,000 a month or something.
I didn't know it was like $600 for a year.
I think it's like $650 or some shit like that.
It's so small.
Let me take down the fourth wall a little bit.
It's so small that even with all the credits that have been coming for the Stimmy and all that stuff, With all that stuff, all three of them, and the tax credit, I was finally like, hey, um, you know, baby mom, who I adore and is awesome, and she's really cool when we get along real well.
Um, I was like, how about you kick me down, like, 500 bucks?
That's how small everything is.
After all that, and I have her 50% of the time, I was finally like, let me get 500 bucks.
She was like, oh yeah, no problem.
That's how small this is.
So maybe it's not that small if she was that comfortable parting with 500 bucks.
Maybe she actually got like $500,000 being a single mother in this country.
She's like, oh yeah, sure.
I guess I can part with 500 bucks.
No, she actually ended up giving me $250.
But apparently the other $250 is going to come any day, and I'm not going to ask for it.
But yeah, it's very small.
With all that, I think she ended up getting maybe $2,000 after everything.
And so they're not helping the parents out.
That's for sure.
Yeah, it's just funny to be so...
I don't know, doing this culture war, doing this heightening of antagonism to the heightening of the kayfabe about how Biden's a socialist or Biden's doing welfare without work requirements or whatever, despite the fact that he just announced that they were doing the opposite.
Heightening of this kayfabe to the point where you're going to, like, Yeah.
Yeah.
I know there's a reputation for red states voting against their own interests.
I don't think the child tax credit would be one that they would willingly vote away.
Most of these people would eventually find out what happened.
They would find out why their taxes went up by $1,000 a month.
Or $1,000 a year, rather.
I would almost surrender my child tax credit, I mean, you know, indirectly, just so that they can see what they did, to be like, oh, fuck, and then see how they handle that, because it would be huge.
It would be fucking huge.
I mean, again, it would probably just be blamed on Biden, or it would be blamed on immigrants, or whatever.
It would be, you know, the Simpsons.
Oh, the reason the bear tax is so high is because of the immigrants.
Yeah.
But whatever they would get in return would be more than we have now because they would see the impact of it.
Yeah.
Okay.
Moving on.
Final topic of the night.
And oh my goodness.
It's a doozy.
This was sent to the Facebook group by John Altbergs.
So thank you very much, John.
This is a Facebook post by the actor Eddie Deason.
This is a semi-famous actor who's known for appearing in movies like Grease.
He does voiceover work for Dexter's Laboratory.
He's the antagonist of Marduk or whatever.
Maybe his most famous role, perhaps, is the voice of the extremely annoying kid from the Polar Express.
Oh, God.
Oh, that fucking kid.
Ugh.
Do you know what kind of train this is?
Do you know what kind of train this is?
Well, do ya?
Actually, it's a Baldwin 284 S3 class Berkshire type steam.
L.E. What the heck does that mean?
We're heading for the other side of the tracks.
He did!
You're going to get us all in trouble.
He's going to throw her off the train.
Yeah, he's going to probably throw her right off the rear platform.
It's standard proceeds actually on the ice, but I said that was impossible.
Oh, God.
Okay, yeah, sorry.
So Eddie Deason has a Facebook presence.
He's pretty prolific on Facebook, at least in the terms of posting-wise.
He likes to post jokes.
He likes to post little things for his fans, you know, to give a little chuckle over.
And, you know, let me just give a couple examples here.
How do you see yourself in five years?
Me, colon, quote.
With a mirror!
I think we'll still be using mirrors by then.
Five years isn't really that far off.
Jesus Christ.
Okay.
Smart guy.
So I think...
This guy's smart.
I think that one's kind of funny.
I think that's cute.
Yeah.
That's fine.
He's very smart.
It's clever.
Clever.
Clever guy.
Well, I would hold your compliments to the end.
Okay, okay.
And then, yeah, just this one right below it.
Quote, that was money well spent.
End quote.
Attributed to me to a guy who just bought a well.
Like a water well?
Yeah, I mean, the point is just that it's the word well.
Because it's money well spent.
That was money well spent.
Oh no, oh no.
I thought this was a conversation about clean water.
Because that would be money well spent.
But no, this is a pun.
Okay, go ahead.
Yeah.
Wait, what?
Okay, go ahead.
There's no going ahead.
That's it.
Not as good as the Mirror one, I think.
No, I mean, yeah.
So that's like a good cross-section of what Eddie Deason normally posts on Facebook.
Just, you know, little kind of one-liners and quips.
You know, stuff from like a...
I don't know, like an early 90s stand-up comic routine or something.
Not half bad.
Go back a little further, though.
I mean, he's talking about Wells.
So go back a little further in the 90s.
But yeah, you're right.
It's definitely...
It's been done, is what we'll say.
This might be some fresher material here.
Eddie Deason, about a week and a half ago, posted to his Facebook page.
An open letter to all my Facebook friends and pals, to all women and girls, to all who know about the whole current shitstorm going on...
Okay, this will be my last and final mention of the current shitstorm between me, the Jewish Dillinger, and her, the waitress.
So, quick aside, Eddie Deason refers to himself as the Jewish Dillinger.
I believe it's sort of a self-deprecating moniker he gives himself.
I don't know enough.
It sounds cool to me.
I don't know enough about those words, though.
But it sounds like a badass.
Yeah.
That's the joke.
It's, I believe, an ironic joke about his overtly nerdy and dorky persona.
Okay, cool guy.
He's a self-aware nerd.
He's really kind of rode that train for his whole career.
If I were to do an impression of Eddie Deason...
Like, I might be able to nail it, but it would most likely be anti-Semitic.
I would, okay, I was gonna say I would like to find out, but never mind.
It would be like, I don't know, it would be Sketchy Waters, for sure, because he, it's half nerd, half, you know, half just Jewish.
I feel like we're gonna find a way to make fun of Eddie Deason soon enough.
Okay.
So this will be my last and final mention of the current shitstorm between me, the Jewish Dillinger, and her, the waitress.
With one stipulation, which I will mention later.
One really important thing has been omitted and neglected in all my posts about me and some other people.
Okay, in recent months I went in many times to a local restaurant and repeatedly asked a waitress there to put on fake eyelashes told her I did not want to eat there unless she wore fake eyelashes What a freak!
What a fucking freak!
Don't do that!
This waitress was 21 years old.
No!
No!
You're so old!
No!
No!
Don't do that!
What I did, subjecting a 21-year-old girl to objectification like this, was incredibly wrong.
My behavior was inexcusable.
It was rude, disgusting, ugly.
It was pure, unadulterated sexism in its truest terms and definition.
No excuses justify my behavior.
It was cruel and completely thoughtless.
Was it worse to do this to a 21-year-old than say a 30-year-old or a 40-year-old woman?
Yes, it was.
Why?
So I was like, it was nice to see him acknowledge some guilt here, do some atonement, rectify some mistakes or whatever.
And then it takes this current twist about why it was worse to do this to a 21-year-old woman than a 30-year-old or a 40-year-old woman.
Because a 21-year-old, any 21-year-old woman or man hasn't really been, quote, around the block yet.
Any adult, fully grown woman, let's say maybe 27 or 30, at around that age and older, knows, quote, how men can be.
I mean, if you haven't been asked to put on fake eyelashes or else they won't eat their food by the time you're 25, you need to get out of the house.
That's on you at this point.
Men can be incredibly cruel to women in the sense of objectifying them, judging them solely on their looks, making them feel like a slab of meat.
And this is exactly what I did.
Oh, baby, I thought you were older.
I thought you knew I was going to treat you like a slab of meat.
Hey, hey, this is not...
I didn't realize you were 21. I thought you were 23. My bad.
The fake eyelashes thing is so fucking weird.
So weird.
I have a theory.
I think that possibly one of the eyelashes has faulty glue, and he depends on this, hoping that the eyelash will fall onto the dish and he can get a free dish.
Get a free dinner.
Excuse me, ma'am.
Is this your eyelash?
Your eyelash fell on my food?
I better not have to pay for this.
I'm hoping he's just cheap and not a creep, but we know the truth.
He's both.
I thought you meant maybe he wanted to eat the eyelash.
Oh, he wants to eat the eyelash.
He just can't get a free meal off that.
He puts it in the burger after it falls on the plate.
Hey baby, you look really good with a pink bow in your hair.
Yeah, how do you start that conversation?
Are they...
Do you think...
So, I didn't know about eyelashes.
You know that eyelashes are crazy, right?
There's like $1,500 pairs of eyelashes.
I mean, I'm not surprised to hear that.
They make eyelashes out of mink.
Oh, cool.
I love them even more now.
Very cool.
I don't know if you've ever seen a mink.
Go ahead and Google a mink and think to yourself, I want to make something out of that.
That's a fucked up thought.
But, yeah, I wonder if they were nice eyelashes?
You think they were high quality eyelashes?
Or do you think they were just like, he just saw them at a liquor store and was like, I need to see these on somebody.
Oh, you think he was going to provide the eyelashes?
Yeah.
I think he definitely has the eyelashes.
Where are the eyelashes coming from?
Did he say, go get some?
No, I think he said, I think he put them on the table, slid them across to the edge of the table, and said, before we proceed, I need you to put these on.
What if he held them up to his eyes, and he's like, hey baby, you'd look great in these, and then he did a wink with his fingers?
No, no, he's wearing them.
And she's like, where are the eyelashes at?
And he's like, they're right here.
And then closes his eyes and puts his face up to her.
Like, flutters them.
Like, pull them off.
These right here.
It's just...
I realize, like, fake eyelashes are still a thing, but it feels like still kind of like an old-timey, like, kink.
It feels like...
That's a...
You think the kink is, like, is having something next to your eyeball?
Like, you're just...
I think the kink is like an accentuation of stereotypical feminine...
That's why I said the pink bow thing.
That's what it makes me think.
I love a woman with rosy red lips.
Why don't you get some red lipstick on, babe?
I can only come if you're wearing a maid's outfit.
This guy's like the opposite of Jordan B. Peterson.
Where he's like, instead of women should not be allowed to wear rouge on their cheeks, which simulates the act of coitus or whatever, it's women should have to wear dark eyeshadow and rosy red lips in the workplace.
But I need you to actually pluck your flesh and rub the blood around to make it look flush.
Yeah, what is it?
Ladies pinch, whores wear rouge.
Yes, the popular quote.
We've all heard it growing up in this patriarchal society.
I remember my mom telling me that the first time I tried to wear rouge.
Okay.
Men can be incredibly cruel to women, making them feel like a slab of meat, and this is exactly what I did.
A young girl like this waitress was possibly overwhelmed.
Maybe she would be at a loss, incapable of handling what, for her, must have been very awkward, to say the least.
For anybody, you fucking weirdo!
I think it's so great how much he's sympathizing with her.
This sounds like a really sensitive guy.
Like a woke, sensitive guy.
He feels it.
He feels it.
Yeah, I'm really warming up to Eddie Deason here.
What a sweetheart is what you're saying.
A guy comes in and says, quote, Look, serve me my food, but I want you to put on a mini skirt while you do it.
I can see this being a bit scary, overwhelming to young woman of 21. You can't say anything to the guy yourself, maybe.
So you get the manager.
The manager.
Maybe you're scared.
Maybe you need help.
Yeah, totally, dog.
The manager hears what's going on and approaches the rude guy.
Manager, quote, Sir, this is your waitress.
She is here for one purpose, to serve you food.
If you ask her to do anything else, especially something obnoxious like wear an outfit or put on fake eyelashes or anything of this sort...
You can get the fuck out of my restaurant!
You are not welcome here!
The guy, parentheses, trembling!
Quote, Yes, sir!
Just for the record, the manager's supposed to just ask him to leave then and there.
No questions asked.
No, can you do this for me?
Can you not do this for me?
You gotta go, bro.
You gotta go.
You'll see as a characteristic of this post is the idea that we should all just be engaging in dialogue.
And like, yes, I know that what I did was wrong, but it's also wrong to not tell me what I did was wrong to my face.
It's also wrong of you to not get the manager to come over and tell me what I did was wrong.
And then I can respond with, oh, I'm sorry I did the thing that was obviously wrong, that I knew was wrong the whole time.
Clearly wrong.
And then we all shake hands and he gives me my dinner for free.
Oh, that makes sense.
You were just being vulnerable.
That's not your fault.
You were being vulnerable.
Now, in the case of an older woman, or perhaps a really tough seasoned woman, a Susan Sarandon type...
I want Susan Sarandon to read this.
Susan Sarandon better...
I hope that someone sent this to Susan.
She is taking a guy's order and he asks her to serve her his food and wear a miniskirt or some such thing.
Do this or you can't serve me.
Waitress.
Susan Sarandon type.
Grabbing his shirt collar and pulling him up to her face.
Listen, you little jerk-off.
I am your waitress, see?
I am here to take your order and bring you your food.
That is all I am required to do.
And if you ever speak to me like that again, I am going to tear you a new one.
That's what he wanted.
He wanted...
Oh my...
What a fucking...
No, dude!
No!
He just wanted a dialogue.
He just wanted to relate to a woman.
Have a tete-a-tete where she fucking crushes his nuts with a pair of high heels.
I will send you several links to very talented individuals who will humble you and make you feel shamed.
And you will pay them a good rate because they fucking deserve it.
You don't get to trick a wager into this, you fucking freak.
Ew!
Ew!
If you know a 30 to 40 year old Susan Sarandon type please send me her information.
I would love to be taught a lesson from her.
Yeah.
Like, the test will be when they show up.
Before we continue, can you put these eyelashes on me?
And then she just punches him in the nose and he's like, yes.
Yes, this is perfect.
The guy is always trembling, too, in these exchanges.
Trembling!
Yeah, I think that's also a bit indicative of his...
What did that manager look like?
I think the manager was probably just a regular, average person who was not anymore threatening anyone else, but didn't say something, and he was like, oh no.
What I did was unjustified, however, I was never once informed by anyone that I was bothering or introverting this girl in any way.
Maybe because you were only talking to the girl because you had a restaurant.
That was your server.
And they were the only one talking to you because you're a fucking weirdo.
You're used to people being, oh, weren't you the guy from Greece?
That's probably not happening anymore.
I mean, it's also possible that she was worried about getting fired because you seem like the kind of psycho who would make her life a living hell if she didn't just smile politely.
Also, you're one of a thousand people who she deals with all the time.
Yeah, totally.
Apparently this sweet, unassuming waitress was letting me do my mean behavior than going and writing about it on her Twitter account.
Shouldn't let me do it.
Ew.
I hope this person gets harmed soon.
It takes two to be harassed.
Yeah.
Yeah, absolutely.
Her Twitter account probably had about three followers, but this made her feel somehow important, like a somebody, not a nobody.
And I probably started the account because the guy from Greece came in and was really fucking weird and asked her to wear eyelashes and was like, oh fuck, this was fucked.
Let me talk about this publicly.
It's also funny because...
I don't know, maybe it's...
I don't have much experience in the realm of sexual assault, but isn't the stereotype like...
Oh, it'll make you feel important if I grab you.
You know what I mean?
It'll make you feel wanted.
Isn't that like the rationalization a lot of these fucking guys do?
Something around there, yeah.
Like, oh, she wanted the attention.
She wanted me to do this by the way she was dressed or by her attitude or whatever.
They'll say she...
She narcissistically somehow deserved this or got this, right?
And it's like, he's not saying that.
He's saying that her complaining about it is her getting her jollies off or something.
You know what I mean?
Oh, you had to feel real tough by talking about how I was weird to you.
It made her feel so important.
Instead of like, you know, it made her feel important to neglect my advances or whatever.
Now it's it made her feel important to talk about how fucking awful I was.
Yeah, totally.
Ugh.
I hate this person so much.
Hey, everybody, the guy from Greece.
He asked me to put on fake eyelashes.
I'm creeped out, but I managed to gather my composure together and post about it on Twitter.
This is real creepy, but hilarious.
I want it to end, right?
But not enough to tell the guy I want it to end.
Hilarious.
15 minutes of fame, right?
Yeah.
So this is, again, his main complaint is that he knew he was being creepy, but it's even creepier of her not to tell him to stop being creepy.
Listen, I have never in my life pissed on someone's shoes and them not tell me no.
Tell me to stop.
So, like, I know that's how it goes.
If you want me to stop, you're going to say it.
Yeah, it's just like the, you know, I understand that I hurt her by objectifying her and putting her on the spot and harassing her while she's fucking serving me at her job or whatever, but she did the same exact thing by saying what I said.
By repeating what I said.
Yeah, exactly, yeah.
Oh, you can say it, but I can't?
It's the lack of respect.
That's what hurts the most.
So we already felt pretty bad for Eddie Deason, right?
Yeah, he's going through it.
A sensitive guy who's just aware of, I don't know, aware of misogyny.
Aware of systemic, systematic misogyny.
Just like his heart bleeds for these women.
I do think this is the first time he wasn't yelled at immediately upon attempting this.
So this is weird for him.
I think this is the first time that someone was like, yo, fuck off, you weirdo.
He's like, that's the typical response, and I respect that response.
But he didn't get that this time.
Okay, but just prepare for the pity points to ramp up here.
I want it to end, right?
But not enough to tell the guy I want it to end.
Hilarious.
15 minutes of fame, right?
Quote, nobody becomes, quote, somebody.
And this creepy idiot nerd actually believed this person was his friend.
Pretty incredibly stupid of the nerdy guy.
Yeah, dawg!
Yeah!
You gotta come in there on a weekly basis, or at least for a couple years before you leap that bound between server and friend.
I hate you, dude.
Yeah, I don't know if you can ever leap that hurdle without hanging out with them outside of work where they're not forced to be around you.
Yeah, it's going to be pretty apparent.
You can be on friendly terms with somebody, but I don't think it counts as being a friend.
I think, yes, you are probably a creepy, naive, idiot nerd to think that a woman was your friend for serving you food.
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
Maybe that's a little harsh.
Not all lonely, naive people are like Eddie Deason, I would say, but Eddie Deason seems to be self-aware enough to...
He's a creep.
I'm sorry.
Absolutely.
I have no doubts nerds have been flirting and doing other obnoxious things to women since the beginning of time, right?
I am sure there were awkward nerds in any age, in any era, and they were attracted to pretty girls then.
Weird.
I'm picturing like, yeah, like a paleolithic nerd, you know, going up to a woman saying, oh, I caught these raspberries for you.
Will you wear the dinosaur blood on your lips for me?
He's right, though.
I mean, like, creepy dudes have been around for as long as beautiful women.
You know, probably just women by today's, you know, I'm going to go ahead and say that some Neanderthals might not have been babes.
But I would say they were probably creeps then too.
Well, I mean, it's, you know, it's all in the eye of the beholder.
There were probably some babelicious, you know, Neanderthal ladies.
True, true, true, true, true.
And I mean, you know, yeah, the oldest profession in the book is, you know, sex work.
And the second oldest profession is like desperately trying to get sex work for free.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I have no doubts nerds have been flirting and doing other obnoxious things to women since the beginning of time, right?
I am sure there were awkward nerds in any age.
They would do something incredibly stupid and thoughtless.
The women?
Well, two possible responses.
This is good.
This is, again, like, I feel like he's channeling Jordan Peterson.
I feel like he might have read the 12 Rules for Life.
Or maybe even Maps of Meaning.
Kind, decent women.
Women with an ounce of humanity.
Women with a human heart.
Told the guy, quote, Look, Melvin, I am flattered by your attention.
But please stop it.
I have a boyfriend or a husband or I just plain am not interested in the least bit, okay?
The guy either gets the message and stops or he persists, in which case it becomes more serious of a matter.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The other kinds of Wyoming may be slightly lonely, hungry for some attention women.
They might pretend interest, then go back in the kitchen and laugh at the nerd.
They might even call their friends and relate the hilarious, quote, creepy incident, right?
But they trying to get the motherfucking tips, bro.
Shut up.
And it just, it goes on so long.
Anyway, this brings me to my main point.
Yes, I did apologize to the waitress, but I never apologized to every other woman in the entire world.
I want to apologize to every woman, all women, for my gross, obnoxious, sexist behavior.
To demean another human being like this, to do this to anyone, but especially a 21-year-old, was particularly disgusting.
I apologize to any woman who is aware of this current event.
I will never, ever do anything remotely like this again.
I hope you can fight it in your hearts individually to forgive me.
And no, I will never do it again.
A sane person, a decent person makes a mistake, a terrible one.
He sees how he was wrong, he apologizes, and he corrects his future behavior and never does it again.
Not really much else he can do, right?
And if this does happen, most women, women who actually have a human heart and even a modicum of compassion, will forgive the jerk until he does such thing again in the future.
Then it becomes more serious.
Hey, yo, yo, let me fuck up again before you get all mad.
I've only fucked up the...
I only got caught fucking up the one time.
Let me fuck up one more time, please.
Yeah, just keep forgiving me until I show up at your doorstep in the rain with a blade.
And some fake eyelashes.
I think most men, although not really involved in the sense women would be, would forgive too and give the guy a break.
I'm pretty sure, yeah, you're not wrong there, you fucking asshole.
Excuses?
None.
Explanation?
Hey, I'm a nerd.
I think we all know this.
I love that he's finally equating nerd culture with harassment culture.
I always put on a Star Trek shirt before I assault somebody so that it makes it a little more understandable.
Yeah, totally.
There's a sympathetic figure.
It's the nerd doing sexual harassment to working women.
Yeah, ugh.
Oh my god.
This just keeps fucking going.
Now he's talking about the backlash.
I have been called a minor celebrity, a washed-up has-been, not a has-been, a never-was, a disgusting creep, a pig, and much worse.
Oh yes, and my favorite PM of all...
SUFFER! Hell yeah!
Right?
I have been called ugly this week more times than I probably have in all the previous years of my life.
Um...
Let me keep going here.
This is so fucking long.
Many of my Facebook friends have been threatened if they remained friends with me.
You better don't.
You better not do it.
Um...
Where is it?
Look, I am a pretty happy guy.
All I need are my Beatles books, my Beatles magazines, being allowed to post my dumb jokes on Facebook, having my groups of friends, being able to watch old movies on TCM, stuff like that.
Yeah, they're taking away your TCM subscription, dude.
Why is it weird to me that the guy from Greece, like, loves the Beatles?
I don't know why, but that's, like, so weird to me.
What a fucking weirdo.
Probably reminds him of a simpler time where you could just, like, yank a woman's poodle skirt down in the middle of the malt shop and everybody would laugh and you'd be, I don't know, king for a day.
Yeah.
That's so cool.
Um...
It's...
Fuck.
Whenever and wherever Grease or the Polar Express or any of my movies play anywhere, probably when I appear on screen, at least one or two will boo or hiss.
Oh, fuck.
I just realized I have a reason not to ever watch Polar Express again.
It's like people were already doing that for Polar Express.
I'm sorry.
Yeah, it sucked.
It's a bad movie.
So let's all end this thing.
I will never comment on it again on my Facebook page, okay?
With one stipulation.
If I am physically attacked by a hater, then I will tell about it.
I will post about it.
I will go to the police and call the news of my lawyer.
Fair?
Okay.
Time to move on.
Ruining this Jewish Dillinger's reputation and all.
Getting so many to now hate this creep's guts.
Fun stuff, right?
I mean, what a threat this guy is, right?
A 64-year-old geek who had a major heart operation last year, who was in a coma, who was in a wheelchair for months, who was called touch and go by his doctors every day, but somehow he recovered.
A truly ominous presence.
A guy about as physically threatening as Pee Wee Herman in a jockstrap, right?
That's wildly threatening.
What?
What are you talking about?
Of all the people to name, you can't name the guy who unfortunately got charged for jerking off in public.
You can't say that guy is in a jockstrap.
You can't do that.
Pick someone better.
It's a mixed metaphor at best.
Yeah, yeah.
Wow, I love that.
Oh my god.
Haters gonna hate, right?
And so let's end the battle of the Jewish Dillinger versus the local Anita Hill.
Wow.
The local Anita Hill.
Yeah, she's not even popular enough to be the actual bad Anita Hill.
Yeah, in order for this to work, Anita Hill's wrong.
Like, what are you doing, bud?
Oh, you know, honestly, the president is set.
So, you know, I don't blame him.
Biden's in office.
I would also call this person the local Anita Hill if you want to win.
Mm-hmm.
I just hope no real women doing actual important things like fighting for women's rights don't get taken in, taken in by a very shrewd and calculating, very hungry for attention person, and believing that she is a modern day Susan B. Anthony.
Also, who sucks?
Who sucks, by the way?
I don't know if y'all remember that.
Susan B. Anthony sucks.
He was a bigot.
I will continue to oppose racism.
I will continue to oppose homophobia.
Parentheses.
Even by some I shall not name.
Which I don't...
I don't know what that means.
You can go ahead and name him if you're fighting homophobia.
It's fine.
No one's going to get mad at you for that.
Maybe he means Voldemort.
Oh, that's true.
That's true.
Your friend always, Eddie Deason, quote, the Jewish Dillinger.
Stop pushing that, bro.
Stop trying to make Jewish Dillinger happen.
It's never going to happen.
What do you call a window seat at Flo's Diner?
What's that?
The Jewish Dillinger escape plan.
Hell yeah.
I was wondering how you were going to work that in there.
I was thinking of a way.
Yeah.
Okay, a couple comments.
Again, these were...
I gotta give credit where credit is due.
John Altberg's got some just great comments from this post.
I love it when listeners do the work for me.
This is beautiful stuff.
So yeah, thank you, John.
He got this one comment.
John Kessner said, The United States is completely poisoned right now when it comes to men and women.
It's just chaos and hostility.
I mean, mostly chaos.
Am I right, fellas?
Yeah, right?
So many of my male coworkers tell me that they completely ignore females on the job because they don't want to risk accusations and discipline.
I mean, if that's what it takes, yeah.
Do that.
Yeah, I've been just ignoring all sorts of interactions with my female employees.
You know, sending them their paychecks, giving them work to do, you know, giving them a schedule a week in advance.
Just anything to avoid this cancel culture that we're experiencing right now.
Smart.
It's not you.
It's the society we're stuck with.
Don't beat yourself up over this.
You stepped up and apologized, dot dot dot, for suggesting a young lady would look good in eyelashes, dot dot dot.
Until this lunatic country convenes wartime tribunals for such transgressions, just shake it off and keep going.
Your fans love you.
Your friends are here for you.
And don't let these miserable times get to you.
I love the suggestion that like, oh, this is a crazy country and we're on the track to doing war crimes tribunals for simply, you know, complimenting a woman on her job.
And I would say to that, we don't even do war crimes tribunals for war crimes.
I doubt you're going to get in trouble other than having like, yeah, people DM you about what a fucking nerd you are.
Yeah, bigger fist to fight, that's for sure.
Robert S. Willard said, Hang in there, Eddie.
This seems like more of the cancel culture bullshit.
I only met you one time at Chiller a few years ago, but I do believe you are a super nice guy and you meant well.
Please continue to be you.
You have many who are in your corner.
I like to believe there's people here that are compromising their principles because they're just huge Polar Express fans.
Ha ha ha.
That's like, that's the worst, possibly one of the worst characters.
Oh.
All of film-dom, I think.
They didn't need to exist, let alone have that voice.
It's so bad.
That movie is fucking crazy bad.
Like, there's scenes, like the hot cocoa scene in that movie is...
Like, mind-melting.
Dog, I saw that in theaters in my 30s, not because of my child, but because of an ex.
Because they were like, this is a banger.
And I'm like, oh, you have good film opinions.
Psych!
I couldn't believe I did that.
I paid money for that.
There's a lot of people in the comments saying like, oh, so she would wear fake eyelashes but not for you?
They think Eddie Deason is sane enough to have been commenting on something she was actually wearing, which in and of itself would possibly be inappropriate, depending on the relationship you had with the waitress, her body language or social cues or whatever.
No, he is demanding she wear something perhaps she's never worn in her entire life.
Well, not only that, but the whole thing about eyelashes is, even if they are obviously not real eyelashes, the point of them is not to be observed as fake eyelashes.
So everything you're doing is still wrong.
There's no way to justify what you're doing here.
That's a pretty good point.
Last comment I'll read is from Don Cavell Jr., And, I mean, a lot of these people were supportive of Eddie Deason, and I feel like we got a pretty good advocate here in Don.
Don says, I feel your pain.
Had a manager tell me I was giving a waitress the creeps once.
I'd never said or did anything, quote, creepy.
I was always polite, showed interest in what was going on with her, etc.
Never said or did anything that was in any way creepy.
Most forward thing I ever did was ask to be put in her section so I could give her a decent tip as she was a struggling college student.
So, I have felt your pain.
And as for the signing thing, give it a little time.
Blah, blah, blah, blah.
I know an actor that is a 3 or a 4, as you say, and he's doing fine after he got busted for cocaine or whatever.
I love the idea of saying, like, oh, I want to be put in her section.
But you know her name.
You're not just saying her.
You're like, oh, I want to be put in Melissa's section, please.
If they want you in their section, you're going to be in their section.
Let's put it that way.
Also, if you want to leave them a tip and you don't get in their section, leave them a tip.
Don't be in their section.
Why don't you just leave every waitress the same tip you would leave Melissa and not make it about your personal relationship with them?
Because every other waitress didn't have any backbone and they all wouldn't tell me not to wear the eyelashes.
They all put them on without asking questions.
A couple asked for some money, large amounts of money, but they didn't say no.
And she went to the back say no, and so I think she has a little bit more gumption than the rest of them.
And I also love, like, he's saying, like, the manager at this establishment did the thing that Eddie Deason said the manager should have done, and he's still playing victim.
Yeah, yeah.
There's no winning here with Eddie Deason.
Yeah.
Listen, all I did was I took an extreme interest in her personal life and asked her a bunch of questions and also requested to be served by her specifically.
And for this, they label me a creep?
Yeah, I don't understand.
Yeah.
So, uh, that's the Ballad of Eddie Deason.
Uh...
Awkward stuff.
I mean, he's not a stranger to humiliation, it sounds like.
It sounds like he's A, made a career of it, B, might have a sort of psychosexual attraction to it.
Hopefully you took a lesson from this.
It doesn't matter if a girl or if a woman tells you to stop doing something fucked up, you should just stop doing it, because you know better, Eddie.
I will say I want to put this out there for anyone listening.
There is a price for which I will put on any fake eyelashes you provide.
I will take pictures.
Just letting you know.
But don't go asking your random server to put the eyelashes on.
That's a real fucking weird move.
Yeah, why don't you listen to her podcast first?
See if she's into that sort of thing.
See if she's offering that sort of thing.
They will plug it.
If it's an option, you will know if you listen to the podcast, like you just found out.
See what tiers are available.
Alright, thanks everybody for listening.
Thanks for supporting the show.
Thank you for your patience as always.
Write to us at MinionDeathCold at gmail.com if you have any situations about getting harassed by career dorks, you know, upstanding citizens in the aggrieved nerd community.
