TODAY: Tony's in Seattle and Ani's in the studio with us as we sneak in an episode of Last Responders--Tony's miniseries covering the woke, body-horror, copaganda smash-hit 911: Lone Star. On Season 4 Episode 13, feminist, metrosexual Fire Captain Strand (Rob Lowe) finds himself in a love triangle with the wealthy baddie he's been dating and her surprise husband with whom she has an "open" marriage. A couple confrontations and several grievous bodily injuries later we find the cucked husband may not be as happy in his role as he seems. ALSO: Dispatcher Grace is having trouble forgiving her father's infidelity, but can the power of christ help her suppress these concerns? Sign up at http://patreon.com/miniondeathcult for $5/month and get a bonus episode every week Music: Ahmad Jamal - I Love Music
Conservative humor gone awry is going to fascist for you today.
So stay tuned.
We're going to take a few pictures of the desert and how their policies are actually messing it up.
It's not beautiful when you go across that border.
But stay tuned, guys.
We'll show you exactly what...
I'm Alexander Edward.
And I'm Tony Boswell.
And we are Minion Death Cult.
The world is ending.
My mic is way too loud, it looks like.
And we are responsible.
I am responsible.
Let me see what's going on here.
Nope, that's good.
Okay, I don't know.
I just have such a more respectable, robust wavelength than you guys right now.
I mean, you don't gotta flex your wavelength on us right now.
We already know about your thick wavelength.
I just want everybody to be on my wavelength.
I'm also like not saying the word.
I'm just trying to say the words that sound like what you're saying.
Wavelength?
Yeah.
Okay.
Wavelength.
Yeah.
I think I'm using that right.
We have Tony in the house.
He's in mom's basement.
We are in mom's basement.
Your mom.
This is your basement.
We're in it.
It feels so good.
I'm so cozy right now.
It's complete.
It's not just a set that you set up behind you for when we record.
The whole thing has wood paneling.
It's real wood paneling.
It's real wood paneling.
It's beautiful.
I'm so happy right now.
The Sepultura poster is AI-generated, though.
But it looks pretty good.
I think it's cool because all they did was take an existing picture, Sepultura, but they put those museum eyes on that follow you.
So now when you walk across the room, Sepultura follows you.
What if it were like a three-dimensional poster and it had sort of concave that effect?
That would be pretty good.
That'd be pretty cool too, yeah.
Also, we got frickin' Ani here.
Hey!
Maybe that can be your nickname.
Frickin' Ani?
Frickin' Ani.
Oh no!
Yeah, unfortunately...
Sorry, go ahead.
I think we got to watch Freak now.
I think Diddy kind of ruined Freak anything.
Freakin' is what I said.
Oh, yeah, Diddy never said Freakin'.
It was not a Freak-off.
You guys hear about the Freak-offs?
Yeah.
Well, no, I didn't.
They're Freakin' crazy.
Yeah, good to be in Seattle.
Good to be with you.
Good to be with Tony.
We had a nice weekend with Brian.
Yes.
Took Brian out for some delicious Ethiopian food, which I think he liked.
He wanted a cheeseburger, but he willingly came to the Ethiopian restaurant with this.
He enjoyed the, I think he got the Luffy, I think it was called.
Beef Tibbs.
Oh, Tibbs.
Tibbs, yeah.
Tibbs, yeah.
He got Tibbs.
Good for him.
It was good.
It was delicious.
It was a really good place.
God, it was so fucking good.
It was so good.
So nice.
If you eat meat, get the Kewat, folks.
Delish Ethiopian.
And if you don't eat meat, just get anything else, really.
You can't really miss.
You can't miss.
Lentils.
I'm worried that frickin' Ani might imply that Ani fricks.
Does Ani not frick?
I don't know.
That's not for me to say, you know.
Would you say that you frick a bit?
I don't know what that is.
Yeah, because frick is just like freak but corny, right?
Just cringey?
I think it's like you're so mad that it just comes out like it's FR-K. Freaking!
I can't...
I know what happened because you're a person, but I can't imagine like...
You, at your last straw, losing it to where you are murmuring curse words under your breath.
Oh, I swear all the time.
I get that a lot.
I know you're a human being, I'm aware.
But it's one of those things where I don't want anything to make you mad, but I do want to see it.
You know what I mean?
So I think I have it.
Frick, I think...
So fuck, the thing about fuck is it has such a broad spectrum of it.
And you're not allowed to say it, really.
It's really a word you're not allowed to say.
Sure, yeah.
I mean, that's...
I guess you can't...
Could you say Frick where you couldn't say, fuck yeah, like a PG movie or something, I guess?
Maybe?
PG-13?
Yeah, absolutely.
That was my loophole when I was a kid, you know?
But anyway, it has a wide range of meanings.
It can mean everything from, you know, something bad to something good.
Yeah, some great, someone would say.
Frickin' is like, I think that's only a curse.
Yeah.
I don't think you could say, oh, I Fricked are good.
Yeah.
Like, that doesn't...
We Fricked last night.
Yeah.
Freaked real good.
So maybe you're in the clear.
You both sound like kids that were not allowed to watch Are You Afraid of the Dark?
I watched that.
I totally watched that.
I wasn't allowed to watch The Simpsons.
Well, that backfired.
That backfired because then you watched a lot of The Simpsons.
Yeah, looking for a father figure.
In Homer.
Yeah.
Just because I knew.
My dad said Homer wasn't a good role model, and so I deliberately copied everything he did.
You're like, well, he must be tricking me.
This must be reverse psychology.
He must be a great role model.
Yeah.
Okay.
So, wow.
What a gang we have assembled here.
Folks, if you're new to the show, you may not know one of Ani's commonalities before we started Close Other Tabs.
Which is out, by the way.
Four or five episodes out now.
I don't remember.
Four.
Anyway, we're taking a break.
Probably more episodes to come.
We're just doing other stuff right now.
But thank you to everybody for listening.
Thanks for the kind words and the emails and all that.
We appreciate you.
Glad you like the show.
Before Close Other Tabs...
We had a show, Tony had a show, called Last Responders, covering 911 and 911 Lone Star, the woke, lib, propaganda, body horror television program.
Two of the best shows ever created.
Yeah, honestly, it's a masterpiece.
I think they're important.
I think they're important in film and TV because really, where are you seeing this level of body horror and practical effects?
God, it's like watching a modern day opera.
I mean, honestly, tell me, when's the last time you saw that much good body gore that was practical effects?
And you get an hour of it every week.
Yeah, it's a lot of bang for your buck.
We did just see the substance, but...
An avid elementary.
Every week they have like sluicing human material on that show.
Yes.
Public schools, you know, it's like this is what it's like when you've underfunded or public systems.
It's part of the struggle.
Good show.
Decent.
It's funny because there's been a clamoring for last responders.
There's been people in the DMs, and I hear you.
There's a moment where I thought...
Including me, by the way, folks.
There was a moment where I thought, I was like, well, they did something bad, and honestly, I kind of forgot what it was at this point, so I think that since...
I think that since I forgot whatever they did that was really bad, that I was like, I don't want to do this anymore.
I forgot what it was.
And enough of you have said, we need more last responders.
And, you know, I figured since we're all together, let's watch an episode together.
And that is exactly what we did.
So today we watched a pretty notorious episode, a pretty infamous episode, because of one clip that we will get to, don't worry, from season four.
Episode 13 is called Open from Lone Star.
And you will hear why it was a notorious episode.
But it was great.
It was a special episode because usually we get our 911 calls, our emergency calls.
But what was great about this one is we didn't get one, but we got three calls that were personally affecting...
Members of the 156.
Or members of the operators.
So, pretty special episode, because you know when it's personal, it gets a little more intense, and it's a little more...
It's good stuff, and we got a lot of that in this one.
Absolutely.
Yeah, and they all sort of had thematic relevance to each other, the three different calls.
They do that.
They do that.
There tends to be like an arcing narrative, some sort of advice or morality you can get.
So the thing they did was one of the crew members fell asleep on the way home from a set, a production, for 9-1-1 because they were being overworked.
That's what it was.
And I get like wanting to punish the company or whatever, but they're unionized.
This is my perspective from a union employee.
They're like unionized workers.
So they have the mechanism to punish the company already, you know, and if, and if they're not asking for a boycott, I'm not, you know, I don't consider that whatever to be a good thing to waste energy on or whatever.
But anyway, Yeah, wow, what a wonderful episode.
Should we do, like, opening thoughts on the episode?
Did Ani...
Any...
I love this episode, and I'm really excited for you to see the second part, because it's like a double episode arc, and it gets even more ridiculous in the second half.
Um...
We can go through the plot, too.
I know Tony's...
Yeah, I do find that typically the best way to do this one is just to jump into it.
So just like any other episode, 9-1-1, it opens up with an emergency.
So we get this...
It's like an office break area, and there's this one woman who is extremely excited.
She's...
Talking a mile a minute, and she's excited to gab, right?
And her friend comes up, she's like, I don't got time for this, I'm not trying to hear your gabs.
She's excited about this guy who's not wearing his wedding ring, and that might be a thing that's happening.
I like that she said he's waving that naked finger all around, and I was like, waving it around?
Wow.
Were you kind of thinking, is this a guy who's known for being naked, waving his finger around?
That's what I was...
Is this the office naked guy?
Is that her, like, did she grow up Mormon or something?
Is that what she calls a penis?
It's your naked finger.
I mean, I don't know.
I hope it's like a long thumb.
But I did take notice that she was waving it around.
She's fucking rubbing it in my face that he's getting a divorce.
He wants me to jump on that finger.
That is what was being implied by her.
And the thing that happens, the Chekhov's gun in every episode of 911 is the woman who's coming in, who's fairly normal, makes the comment like, Are you okay?
And she's like, oh, I've been like up all night working hard.
And anyways, they're sitting down and midway through, she kind of starts lisping and she's like, you sound funny.
And then her tongue swells up to a comical size.
So big.
It's so funny.
It's a big tongue, folks.
To the size of like a cow tongue, like a beef tongue.
It gets there.
At this point, I'm going to say she has another smaller, slightly smaller, maybe a goat tongue.
I don't know what a goat tongue looks like.
I think it's probably pretty big.
It didn't look like any sort of tongue to me.
It was swelling up like a fruit.
It was huge.
It was like a tomato.
Yeah, it was a giant tongue hanging out of her mouth.
And they realize there's an emergency going on.
Call 911.
And honestly, typical, the tongue gets much larger at some point.
Like, don't you want to see...
Was this frickin' Harry Potter?
Don't you want to see that prosthetic tongue?
Don't you want to play with it?
I hope it was real.
I think it was real.
It was a cool texture.
I think it was real.
I think it was a prop.
He had to depress it with the handle end of a spoon at one point.
Her co-worker, who she's trying to gossip to, trying with all of her might to gossip to, who is just not into it, she's cool as a cucumber.
And she's pretty competent.
As soon as she notices the tongue swelling, she's like...
Did you, oh my god, did you, like, drink almond milk?
Did you put almond milk in your coffee?
Yeah.
Which we did see the gossipy lady holding a very clearly labeled almond milk, like, creamer container.
Yeah, and she was like, are you allergic to nuts?
And she's like, I don't know.
Yeah, so she goes EpiPen.
EpiPen doesn't work.
They call 911.
So this was, yeah, she shouts out for an EpiPen.
And this, at first, I was like, oh, you can use an EpiPen for, like, any allergy?
I didn't know that.
I thought it was like you had to have a nut allergy EpiPen.
Because I think it's like an adrenaline.
It's just epinephrine.
It's like adrenaline, right?
Like, just override your...
Like your response?
I think that's all it does.
Yeah, it overrides your allergy response.
It's just like a burly antihistamine.
I think so, yeah.
I think that's essentially what it is.
Good to know.
So that doesn't work.
And what really surprised me here, because they're on the phone, she can't breathe, and then immediately the operator...
It's like, oh, do you have a straw?
And I'm like, oh, no.
They're going straight for the tracheotomy.
This is what they do.
They're going to cut...
I'm like, you don't got to cut this woman's throat open.
And also, people just...
The survival rate from those is very low.
And I'm thinking, oh, my God.
But she doesn't ask for something sharp.
They use a spoon.
They depress the tongue.
They get the straw down.
And honestly...
The only thing that really I think this was important was because they wanted to set a pace for the real theme, I think, which was being messy.
Because on the 911 call, for some reason, the woman who's calling 911 decided to tell the operator, like, I don't know, she was talking about this guy not having a ring on.
I think she wants him.
Yeah.
Which is so unnecessary and so messy and also she's saying this in front of the crowd of people around.
Yeah, that rules.
And everyone knows who it was.
It was Jason.
Jason was the man without a ring.
Everyone knows.
And she says Jason's name.
So she's like telling the whole office she likes Jason and of course who comes up and helps.
Jason helps.
Jason's the one that depresses the tongue and gets the straw down so she can breathe.
All ends well.
It ends so well that as the scene's wrapping up, Jason finds his ring.
Yeah, he says, oh, there it is.
And now, instantly, I'm clicking back to the track this very good writing team laid when they said that she said he was waving that naked finger around.
I'm like, oh, it's in her head.
She imagines him.
No, he lost his ring.
He was waving his finger around.
Where's my ring?
Took it off in the middle of the break room for whatever reason.
It's never explained.
It's like behind the toaster.
Yeah.
Now imagine, okay, so that seems pretty embarrassing for her.
Yeah.
Right?
She got outed as being obsessed with this guy and had her tongue swell up and had to have him jam something down her throat or whatever.
Imagine if she had also gotten a tracheotomy.
Right?
Right?
She wouldn't be able to speak afterwards.
She wouldn't be able to defend herself.
She probably was brain dead.
Right.
I was going to say that she just dies because like you said, it's very hard to perform a tracheotomy in the middle of a cafeteria at work or whatever by somebody who doesn't do it.
So yeah, that'd be a pretty bad way to go.
Yeah, it'd be pretty rough.
It's like you're already dying and now you're dying like...
And being super embarrassed and dragged in front of your entire office with your cartoon swelling lips.
Yeah, so bad.
No one's going to forget what that tongue looked like.
It looked hilarious.
The only way to put it is a giant prop tongue hanging out of her mouth.
So that was a fun way to open.
Like I said, I think it's really just to set the themes of both messiness and also marriage was involved, which seems to be a thing that happened throughout this whole episode.
We go to the next scene, which is...
Is her name Nancy?
Is that her name?
The operator?
The operator and wife?
Oh, Grace?
Grace, sorry, Grace.
Oh yeah, that's the whole joke.
So it's Grace and the family.
It's Grace.
She's called Grace because her husband is a Christian and he fucks Grace.
And it's used multiple times where he's like, well, she's living up to her name.
Where she shows him grace.
Does he have any other tattoos besides the Psalms?
No.
That's his only.
A hand tattoo on the back of his hand in just fucking normal text.
Hey, it's the only one.
Block, aerial bold.
It says Psalms yada yada.
You think that's so goddamn funny because you didn't see the episode where he almost died and it inspired him to get that tattoo.
He almost died and that's why he has that tattoo on the back of his hand.
Instead of part two, can we watch that one?
I want you to watch all of them.
I'm hoping this convinces you.
So, they're having family dinner.
The in-laws are over.
Grace's mom and dad are over.
They're visiting the new kid.
There's tension.
They're eating roasts.
Do you notice how many times...
I'm looking on here.
Do you notice how many...
They eat so much roast on this show.
They eat a lot of roast.
Roast is like...
That family or just every family?
Kind of everybody, but that family for sure.
Definitely that family.
That family for sure.
Is it any...
We'll have to ask people we know in props departments or food services.
Is it just an easy thing to whip together?
I think they use roast and other cuts of meat...
To kind of establish their traditional family values.
Because they talk about it all the time.
He makes a brisket in one where he's super nervous because the brisket crust broke off.
And he's like, the brisket's not right.
But it's usually roast.
And it's also used in regular 911.
Roast is the signifier of we're good people who host families and we know how to cook a good traditional meal.
The roast definitely got noticed for me today.
No doubt.
Are you saying that just because you're vegan and Ani are former vegan?
Do you think maybe that might have colored your opinion that roast equals conservative traditional?
No.
I'm saying that because it takes like 18 hours to make.
I think the props department just has a wall of ovens and then they can just leave it.
To be honest, you rarely see the roast.
The roast, you never really...
You didn't see the roast in this episode.
I know listeners know you're a vegan, Tony, so I have to ask you these questions, even if I don't question your judgment.
But I appreciate what the roast says.
Because the roast does bring on a nostalgia of me eating family dinners with my aunt.
My mom never made a roast.
But eating family dinners at my aunt's house...
Where they had, you know, multiple kids in the traditional nuclear family.
And I think that's what it triggers for me.
It's like, oh yeah, that's what families do, is they eat roast.
Radical leftist podcaster triggered by roast.
Says roast is conservative coded.
Oh, you were eating roast?
Oh, your dad must have stuck around.
Okay.
Alright, so Judd had actually caught Grace's dad cheating on Grace's mom.
So there's this tension where Grace clearly does not want the dad to be around their daughter, which I kind of understand, but this is also coming at the expense of the mom.
Yeah.
Like, the mom also doesn't get to babysit.
There's so much tension.
Like, you could cut the tension with a fucking beach ball in this room.
Yeah, it's crazy.
It's, like, palpable.
You know what's happening.
And I was happy you reminded me of that because I kind of forgot.
And mind you, this was, like, two years prior to this incident.
Yeah.
So, like, the dad's making these comments about, like, you know, I'd love to see the grandkid more.
Like, it'd be great.
And the thing that's crazy about this to me, it's not even the whole, like, you got beef with your dad over this whole thing.
It's not even that.
It's that you're, like, looking free childcare in the eyes and saying, no, thank you.
I don't want this free childcare.
Right.
So, this is where, you know, I didn't know this backstory.
I didn't know this about the dad, but I guess we'll spoil it for other people who don't know.
The dad cheated on the mom, and the daughter knows, and the husband...
Judd, no.
And so I didn't know that when we were watching this and I was like, damn, is this going to be a really dark episode where she has to tell Judd her dad sexually assaulted her as a child and that's why she doesn't feel comfortable letting her daughter be babysat by him.
A line of reasoning that makes sense.
And then when it turns out that it's, oh, he cheated on the mom and she thinks the mom still doesn't know and she's holding it against him or whatever, I'm like, oh, well, if he's not abusive...
Yeah, I'll go see a movie.
We'll figure the rest out later.
That's not related to it.
That's like a personal failing on his part.
And it's funny too, because that kind of throws the whole Grace thing out of the window.
Grace shows her father zero Grace.
Like none.
No matter if that happens, she doesn't know how that would resolve between the parents.
But she does see that they're like...
They're fine and good and happy when they're around her.
There's no sign between the parents who are bad.
So it's kind of funny that she shows zero grace there.
And that kind of ends because they end up in a position where they need a babysitter.
And they're right there.
Like, please let us do it.
Judd's like, let them do it.
And after they're talking and they're doing the whole thing where they're kind of like...
I'm so mad at my dad.
And just like, you got to either confront it or you got to like, let it go.
Those are your options here, you know?
But he says a phrase.
Yeah, I wrote it down.
He says, yeah, he says, you got to let go and let God.
Yeah, which was he done?
Was he done with the phrase?
Well, it's like God's most famous saying is, I am.
Oh.
Right?
So he's like, let God.
Let God.
Let God be.
Let God exist.
And he'll take care of it for you.
That's a phrase you have to say with your palm towards the sky.
Let God.
I think it's kind of blasphemous to imply you could let God do anything.
What choice do you have in the matter?
Who do you think you're...
Oh, you think you weren't gonna let God?
Tough luck there.
Wait till I take my boy God off his leash.
Fuck you up.
Yeah, tough luck there.
I think it's important to note that this is the Lone Star with Rob Lowe in it.
We'll get to his scene right after this.
I'm sorry.
You are clearly new here because we're talking about Lone Star.
We all know it's the one with Rob Lowe in it.
We're all very familiar that it's New York's number one firefighter who has come to rebuild a house in Austin for the 156.
We all know that he brought his chunk of rubble His chunk of rubble from the second tower to display on his desk.
We all know this, so yes.
I was worried some people didn't know that.
It does now cut to Captain Strand being the player that he is.
It's my man.
It's implied that he's just getting done having sex with somebody?
Yeah.
Implied is a charitable word to use.
He rolls off of her.
He rolls off and Bernie goes, Woo!
Wow!
Good sex we just had!
Oh boy!
He wipes some sweat from his brow.
She goes, Ooh, wow!
It was so good.
If there was an audience, they would have asked for an encore.
And she's like, I think that was the encore.
But the way this is delivered is...
Because even though he's like 55...
He's still so fucking hot and fit.
He's still...
Yeah, he fucks.
He fucks, yeah, so hard.
Now, the way that these lines are delivered, though, that if anybody, like, if I just got down having sex with somebody and they deliver the lines he delivered, the way he delivered it, I am not believing them at all, and I am becoming very insecure.
Because they're just like, woo-wee!
That was...
That was grade A stuff!
Bravo to you!
So little chemistry.
They had no on-screen chemistry.
They're also in this incredibly bougie, stark, white, modernist mansion.
It's like a wing of the Guggenheim or something.
It's just obviously worth millions and millions and millions of dollars.
She looks like one of the Olsen twins.
Yeah, but a little bit older.
Yeah.
Yeah, for sure.
Yeah, she looks like a, what, a 40-year-old Kate Olsen.
Hey, listen, Kendra looks great.
She looks great.
Yeah, they're bantering about the book she has on her side table.
He's like, wow, I can't believe it.
Did you look me up because I love this painter so much and you have this frickin' book on your side table?
And she's like, excuse me, I'm just highly intelligent and cultured.
Oh, I'm glad I fucked you.
Well, this was also great because this is another moment for us to be reminded that Captain Strand, first and foremost, is a feminist.
And they're talking about an artist, Anita Steigl, and like...
I didn't even know it was a feminist artist.
Well, it's just a female artist.
Yeah.
But she's not a feminist.
And so, of course, it's like his favorite.
Not only is she a fan, but she actually owns one of the pieces.
Well, he said he saw an installation.
He's like, oh, if you ever see one, or the first time you see one in person, it's life-changing.
And then he corrects himself.
He goes, wait, you probably have one hanging in the kitchen, don't you?
And then she's like, no, the study or something.
The library.
Yeah, the library, yeah.
Which is great.
And also, remember they said they had no chemistry, but this scene is kind of like laying down the groundwork that they might not only be great in bed, but they might be great together.
They're talking about like, hey, you know, I'm catching feelings.
This is great.
She says meant to be.
She says meant to be.
And then this is interrupted by a dog that jumps on the bed and And first of all, we're like, how does he not know that she has a dog?
Yeah, how is this dog a surprise?
How is this yellow lab just the friendliest dog ever?
How is this big yellow lab a surprise?
I think it's because the dog mainly belongs to the cuck husband.
Yes, who we meet right now when a man walks in and is like, oh, by the way, I'm her husband.
That's our dog.
Leans over the bed to shake Rob Lowe's hand while he's naked under the covers.
Still wet with his wife's cum.
And honestly, I thought I was going to take a few hits in this episode because he's like, oh, I'm just here to get my golf shirt.
So he was like, I'm just gonna get my golf shirt.
I gotta go golf while you're fucking my wife.
Don't worry about it.
So I'm like, oh man, golfer's looking lame.
And I thought I was gonna take a hit because now they're implying that they're poly.
But the thing is, they actually never say that.
They say open marriage.
So I'm gonna go ahead and say that...
I don't even think they say open marriage.
She just says our marriage is non-traditional.
That's all she says.
He says open marriage.
I liked all his excuses or his rationalizations for why the man was there.
He was like, oh, you didn't tell me you had a brother.
She's like, no.
And then later, he's like, oh, the husband you're getting a divorce from, right?
And then I would have liked that if he kept going further.
Oh, your father with dementia thinks you're his wife now.
Well, that's just your gay best friend, right?
Yeah, he Oh, is it Robert Downey Jr.
from Home for the Holidays?
Whatever that awful movie is called.
The husband is doing this thing where he's clearly trying so hard to pretend like he's good with everything that it's pretty clear he's not good with everything.
He's just filled with rage.
He looks kind of like Andy Daly a little bit, but with no glasses.
He's like a blonde man who combs his hair over to the side.
Clearly intense.
Clearly they've grown a lot since they got married because she's way hotter than he is.
And she's also the breadwinner, by the way.
She's the money here.
She's like an heiress or something.
She's just so rich.
But it's important to note the husband does say, Okay, Kendi Kane, I'll see you tonight.
Have fun.
It's like incredibly disturbing material.
But it's great because that one is very much on purpose because Rob Lowe, Captain Strand, does go Candy Cane.
And I didn't even notice it was Candy Cane until we got down here talking about it.
But yeah, it's not Candy Cane because her name is Kendra.
It's Candy Cane.
His pet name for his wife.
And yeah, he's kind of laying on thick here.
See, well, the thing is, is like...
Okay, you guys have an open marriage.
That's fine.
I mean, I guess we'll talk about the ethics of how she does it.
You know, whatever.
We need to do that right now if we want.
But in terms of, like, how they're acting around each other in this room, like, skin crawling.
You know what I mean?
It's brutal.
Like, even if you have an open marriage or whatever, the husband is going to come in while I'm naked and have never met him.
Yeah, exactly.
And you're cool with it?
Like, you don't think that this is weird either?
You're being loving with him right now?
Because she is.
She's being very like, oh, you know, love you too, darling, kind of a thing.
And it's like, fuck no.
Real Yorgos Lanthanos shit.
Like, extremely uncomfortable.
Layers, layers, within layers, within layers.
The whole thing is funny because she definitely should have known about this.
You don't bring someone home when you have a live-in husband.
That's nuts.
You don't just do that without telling the person.
I have more than one partner.
I could not imagine one of them walking into the room After I just got done having sex with another one, and them not even knowing each other, well, one of them not even knowing that another one exists?
That's so crazy.
Like, this whole thing is so nuts.
Fucking insane.
It's like, yeah, it's brutal.
It's brutal.
Yeah.
So that scene kind of ended with just, you know, it's awkward.
Rob Lowe goes to work.
He goes back to the firehouse.
He's at the firehouse.
Rob Lowe is the chief, is the fire chief, if you've never seen an episode.
Yeah, that's why his name is Captain Strand.
For sure.
I thought his chief was different than Captain, but...
No, they don't use Chief anymore.
I don't know if that's true.
I think Chief is like the king of the firefighters.
The chief is like who could fire Owen Strand, right?
Oh, wow.
Which is a whole different story arc.
We'll get there one day.
So yeah, so they come back to the firehouse.
The whole 156 is there.
They're all chilling.
And who walks in?
The husband.
The husband walks in, and he's like...
Captain Strand is pretty shook.
And for some reason, he decides to be like, oh, this is my girlfriend's husband.
That's good.
Well, the guy is an asshole.
Because the guy comes in and he's like, bet you weren't expecting to see me again so soon.
I think you took something that belonged to me.
Yep.
And Rob Lowe's like, what?
And he says, oh, your glasses.
Well, no, he says, oh, she's not here.
She's not here, yeah.
You took something that belonged to me.
Oh, she's not here.
And it's like, dog, I don't think that's how that would have gone down.
He took his glasses off the side table somehow, his sunglasses.
Yeah.
They happen to have the same pair of, like, bad Oakley aviators.
And that's, like, glossed over later when he's, like, making, when he's, like, talking about how deranged the husband is.
He's, like, made up some weird excuse to come to the firehouse like I stole his glasses.
And it's like, you did steal his glasses!
You did!
That is very weird.
Why'd you take his son?
And you, in fact, admitted that you distractedly grabbed them off of her, like, bedside table off of, like, her nightstand in front I love the whole firehouse.
And you continue your day with them like in your breast pocket.
Like you just had the wrong glasses the whole time.
Like wouldn't you have been like, oh fuck, I took the wrong glasses.
Maybe you think they were her glasses.
You know, you would have done something.
If I took the wrong glasses, I would be like, now I gotta fucking drive back over there.
Exactly.
Wait, the husband's coming to me?
Cool, here's your glasses.
Yeah, boom, boom.
Never seeing you two again.
Done and done.
Psychos.
Yeah, so crazy.
But he goes, yeah, he says to Rob Lowe after he gets the glasses back, happy to share.
Happy to share.
There were so many great lines, so many great jabs here.
And again, it's being made very clear.
Dude's actually not cool with this.
See, I couldn't tell.
I couldn't tell if they were just like...
Oh, he's just a creepy open marriage guy, and so everything he says seems off or is off-putting or seems threatening because he's a pervert.
But no, they went with, yeah, he's really actually pretty pissed.
No, if he was a hot wife guy, he would have made it much more clear.
He would have made some questions.
The ass is tight, right?
Bounce a quarter off that is what he would have done.
But he was just being real...
Real passive-aggressive.
It was gnarly.
If you are the type of guy who is like, I don't know, a hot wife guy does justice to what I'm trying to express.
If you want to debase myself, kind of cuckold fetish guy, going into the fire captain's place of business in front of all of his co-workers and outing yourself as his cuck would be like a dream come true.
I wonder if this episode was like, Kind of subconsciously marketed to cuckolds.
You know, I mean, the guy does kind of like get the ultimate cuck, you know, so...
He walks into a fucking homoerotic cartoon and is like, you're fucking my wife.
Yep, yep.
Yeah, it's pretty great.
But we're not seeing the last of him because immediately we get a 911 call because somebody was working under their car in a nice mansion.
And we know it's a nice mansion because they have multiple entrances.
And the car fell on them.
And it's him.
It's the husband.
The husband was for some reason rotating his tires, which like...
I don't rotate my tires.
I do most of the work on my car.
I don't rotate my own tires.
This is how we know the husband wasn't actually a submissive fetish or whatever because he was doing this for his wife's car because he was worried that if she brought another quote Oil monkey.
What are they called again?
Grease monkey.
Yeah, she brought another grease monkey and she'd start dating him.
So she was like trying to impress the wife by rotating, by fixing her tire or whatever.
And the tire falls and like the fucking rotor or whatever crushes his forearm.
The car crushes his arm.
We get some, again, some pretty sweet Pretty sweet effects.
Open compound fracture.
Nice open compound fracture.
Bone sticking out blood.
It's so fucking good because it goes from him at the firehouse explaining why he's a cuck to everybody in the firehouse because they're all listening to the conversation.
He goes...
Why keep beating a dead horse when you can bring a stallion into the barn?
And so I'm like, this guy's just a pervert.
This is him prostrating himself, flogging himself in front of everybody or whatever.
And then we go straight to compound fracture in his forearm.
The disc brake part of the wheel just chopping into his forearm.
You can see the bone extruding from the skin.
It's great.
And immediately it's Captain Strand who has to save him.
Gotta hold his hand and walk him through it.
Yeah, he holds him.
It's funny, because are you not thinking strategically here?
Because he's like, close your eyes and picture something you love.
We all know he's picturing his wife.
We all know that's what he's picturing.
So they save him under the car.
The wife comes out, because she just now comes out.
I think she's been in the house the whole time?
No, she was out running through their lemon orchard, it looked like.
She was in jogging clothes.
She just got back, and she's like, oh, what happened?
She's clearly distraught.
She's like, can I ride with him?
And for some reason, it's like, can I ride with him?
And for some reason, it's almost implied that she took Captain Strand's spot in the car.
They're like, because then Judd's like, you can come with us.
Yeah.
What happens, the way I... I don't know that last part, but Captain Strand is expecting to be comforting her or telling her what happened, and she just runs right by him and doesn't even listen to him and instead goes to her husband and is like...
My God, my love.
And he says to her, I was so scared I was never going to see you again.
I was like, you see out your fingers, bro?
Yeah, I was like, because he thought he was going to die.
I'm like, dude, you weren't going to die.
You might have lost your arm, worst case scenario.
Yeah, it would have sucked.
You wouldn't have died.
They weren't going to let you bleed out right there.
But yeah, I was never going to see you again.
It was so dramatic.
It's implying that they're both totally in love with each other.
And Rob Lowe, I think, was already writing her off.
At this point.
But this is like the nail of the relationship.
He's like, oh, they're still in love.
And then Judd is like, you got a spot with us, buddy.
I think it's like, let the lovebirds go.
Yeah, totally, totally.
Hey, listen, you can fuck my wife.
So yeah, that part happens.
And then it kind of cuts to...
There's a scene right afterwards where Captain Strand and her meet up.
She thanks them with sushi.
She brings in sushi from some notorious sushi chef.
Somehow she's allowed to set up a giant sushi feast inside of the firehouse.
She's allowed to enter a secure area.
While everybody else is out on call all day.
With a bunch of raw fish and several strange chefs.
Yeah, she's got three-star Michelin chefs in there preparing seafood.
They even recognize one of the chefs.
They're like, how did you get that chef?
And she says, oh, he did my wedding.
He did my wedding, yeah.
And it's like, because he's like, you can't get a reservation at his restaurant seven months out or something like that.
And you know what's real?
Because it's the gay character who says it.
So we all know that it's valid.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's like Ani said.
It's like, what?
That means he can, just because he did your wedding, that means he's going to drop everything else and do your little catering?
That means he's at your beck and call?
You guys are homies now?
You're best friends?
He's my slave now.
What if she just has him on?
He did my wedding.
He didn't know it was in the contract I had him sign.
What if he's just on call for her?
He's like on retainer for her.
That would have made more sense for her to say than just he did my wedding.
No, I think that once you give someone like probably like $50,000, they're pretty much on call for you.
They're pretty much on retainer.
Maybe she's got like blackmail on him.
She's like working with Mossad.
Yeah, yeah.
She actually...
They have him on a certain plane to...
Have a record of him in a certain island.
She caught him cheating on his wife, and so you can't babysit the kids, but you can make sushi.
So that happens.
I like when they're looking at the sushi, and a couple of the characters we haven't really talked about yet on this episode, I think they're married two now at this point, or they're together.
The taller woman.
Are they together?
Yeah.
Oh, I missed that.
Dang.
Yeah, because she called him Babe.
Because he's, like, neurodivergent, right?
That's his whole thing, yeah.
He's, like, autistic.
That's his, like, color of the diversity rainbow.
I think he just has ADD. He has, yeah, yeah.
Like, a learning disability?
Something, yeah.
But when Cuckold is up there, you know, getting just rammed in front of everybody, um, Mateo says, oh, you can do that in a marriage?
You know, you can have sex with other people?
And she goes, don't even think about it, buster!
Or whatever she says.
And it's great because she does have, like, six inches on him.
So you can't, like, picture her, like, beating him up.
It's kind of cool.
That lady's name is Nancy.
That lady's name is Nancy.
Yeah.
But yeah, so she says, oh, eat the urchin.
Wow, she's even got urchin here among the sushi.
You should eat that.
And he goes, what's urchin?
And then Judd said, you know, the neurodivergent guy says, what's urchin?
And then Judd says, it's what you would have been if we didn't take you in.
Oh, I didn't, because I was like, what does that even mean?
But yeah, yeah, it's like urchin would be like a street urchin.
Yeah, exactly.
Pretty, pretty brutal.
Fucking R word.
It's pretty brutal.
But he's not bullying him.
He's saying it as an endearing joke, but I'm like, that's odd.
This kid does seem to have some underlying issues about executive functions or whatever.
He doesn't test well, and that's why Captain Strand had him on.
Remember when they threw it in the hiring?
That guy sure does polish car handles really well.
What's his deal?
Well, he can't pass any of the tests, but he cleans a car like no one's business.
But he does become ultra fixated on certain things, and we can exploit that.
Yeah, we can use that to our advantage.
So Strand's grateful.
Everyone's really stoked on the sushi.
They do break up.
They do have a conversation where they break up and he's like, you know, you're clearly in love with Dude.
Which is funny because like...
That's not how that works either.
Regardless of if she's still in love with him or not, there's still someone she spent a long time with who just went through a really traumatic thing, who she still does support and have feelings for, even if it's not the one and only love of her life.
Yeah, she's going to go to the hospital with him.
It would be really shitty if she didn't go to the hospital with him.
But it's funny that this was the straw that had him be like, no, you're clearly in love with him.
You supported him all the way to the hospital.
Yeah.
I mean, I guess that's true.
I really did pick up on they were trying to hammer home how singularly involved they were with each other's lives.
Because she never expresses any sort of disappointment in their relationship before that.
It's him sort of projecting on whatever he's hoping is going on.
But they seem like a happy enough couple to fucking talk over another lover being in the room or whatever, right?
Yeah.
So then she says, she says right here, my marriage is dead.
It has been for a while.
Yes.
And I'm like, it didn't look dead at all.
It didn't.
Like, why would you be having a happy marriage and then lovers on the side instead of having an unhappy marriage with lovers on the side?
I don't understand why you do the first part.
Yeah.
You know, I... Weird situation, yeah.
The whole thing was a weird situation, and it's like, it's the thing that does happen all the time, and you know, like, non-monogamy is, it's like they have an idea, but they haven't had the conversation with themselves, let alone the conversation with the people they're bringing into their messiness, and it's like, it's so well demonstrated here, because yeah, If your marriage is dead, then that's a whole different conversation.
That's a whole different conversation.
Don't try to fix it with this.
I love that it's my marriage is dead.
It has been for a while.
She's saying that to Rob Lowe.
But then cut to the basement.
Jam area and her husband is getting in a cryo chamber and literally says, I'm getting my cryo on.
Yeah, he's like, fine.
My marriage is dead.
It has been for a while.
And we're like, hmm, why?
And he goes, I'm getting my cryo on.
Because my husband is the most cringe man you'll ever fucking meet.
We have so many blood boys buried in our backyard.
Yep, yeah.
I feel like that part is kind of like done to punch him that maybe he is kind of like a leech.
Because we have established that she's the breadwinner here.
She's the reason they have money.
And he's just like, I'm just using the...
I got a cryo chamber that I probably bought with your money.
One thing I didn't like from the last scene though was when Owen was like...
You know he came to visit me, right?
You know he came down to the...
He's kind of being a little rat here.
Like, you don't gotta do that, bro.
You don't gotta...
That's between y'all.
Like, you know, you had your chance to say that.
You can say that immediately.
You didn't have to say that, like, well, you know, you know, you can't even...
You don't gotta rat on them, bro.
It's fine.
You took your look there.
I don't know that I would have any loyalty to anybody in that situation.
Exactly!
I wouldn't have a little to anybody, so I wouldn't, like, make it worse by being, like...
Also, he's kind of being a little bitch.
Oh, yeah.
I guess I see what you're saying.
Yeah, if you're hoping to get out of the relationship, why, you know?
Yeah.
I mean, maybe it does make it obvious that he has a problem with their setup, their supposed open relationship, and that might be helpful for her to know.
If she didn't know already.
If he's, like, threatening her lovers and she thinks it's, like, a happy arrangement or whatever, you know, maybe she should know that.
Yeah, probably.
That makes sense.
But I just hope she would handle it better the next time.
But, you know, it's okay.
I wouldn't want to have any more conversations with any of them.
No, no, they're done.
They're super done.
I'm super done with them, obviously.
But we're not done with them in the show because, like you said, it does cut to, you know...
He's about to hop in the cryo chamber.
He's going to get some cellular regeneration to help heal his broken arm.
Yeah, he's got his repaired compound fracture arm and an air cast and a sling.
And this is where we get the line about...
They get into a fight.
That's where we get the line about why I had to rotate the tires because I can't take it to a mechanic because you're probably updating the mechanic.
Yeah, he's a real bitch to her in this scene.
This scene seems to make it clear that they weren't really cool before, because he's like a fucking asshole to her.
Oh, totally.
And it seems like an interaction that has happened before.
They're just very snide and cutting towards one another.
Because he's reveling in the fact that Owen broke up with her.
Mm-hmm.
He's like, good, that's what you get.
And I'm glad it stung.
Did Mr.
Baggy Pants take his fire hose back to the station?
What's up with the baggy pants?
I think it's like, did the uniform require baggy pants?
Yeah, they wear baggy pants.
Isn't that just the uniform, right?
That's just a firefighter jumpsuit.
But they wear it, they used to wear it without the, you know, you'd wear it without the top part of it or whatever.
In the calendar shoots?
Yeah, it was shorthand.
You didn't have to...
Plus this guy's like an idiot and he's just not good at insults.
He's reaching, he's grabbing at straps.
And yeah, and so this fight, they're going back and forth.
He's being really shitty about them breaking up and she's like, well, fuck you anyways.
And then the last thing that she says to him is, I hope you freeze to death.
Yeah, because he says about the breakup, I hope it stings.
I hope it stings, yeah.
He says, I hope you freeze to death.
I was like, you can't say that on 9-1-1.
You can't do it.
You can't freeze to death now.
Because we immediately get the cut to a 9-1-1 call where it's 9-1-1, what's your emergency?
I think my husband froze to death.
And of course, because Austin apparently only has one firehouse, the 156 shows up to the call, and we're there.
It doesn't look at the address at all until they're right on the doorstep.
Either they were just there yesterday.
GPS, blindly, I guess.
It doesn't look at the address, apparently doesn't recognize the route that he's driven many times at this point.
Doesn't that Lemon Orchard look familiar, dude?
Haven't we been here before?
And they show up, and it's the 156 showroom to the cryo chamber in their little gym room.
So funny.
Because instantly, because the way the cryo chamber works is, it doesn't have a top on it.
It's like you're stepping into a sauna kind of thing, or like a vertical tanning bed kind of thing, but it only comes up to your...
Chest or so.
So you can see the top half of him just staring out.
Just ice blue.
Eyes red.
The wax sculpture.
Just staring forward.
Lips blue.
And everybody's just kind of like walking on eggshells.
Metaphorically, like, oh boy.
Alright.
He looks like you're expecting Arnold Schwarzenegger, Mr.
Freeze, to walk out of the room before you walk in.
He's blue.
He looks like Sylvester Stallone's about to kick his head off in Demolition Man.
And like we said, this is like...
There's no top to this thing, right?
How did his face freeze?
They're like, oh, the door's frozen shut.
She tried to melt it with a hairdryer.
She tried everything.
They have to pry it open.
The door is shut.
But it's like, dude, if you think you're getting too cold and can't get out, you could just crawl out this motherfucker.
No problem.
It's like barn doors.
Or like saloon doors, rather.
You could just break through the...
But like I said, worst case scenario, you can climb over the top.
I'm pretty sure if you're going to freeze to death.
But also, he's standing under his own strength and he's frozen to death, looking like a mannequin.
They get the door pried open.
It's just dead silent, too.
It's just like, everybody's just like...
It's brutal.
And, you know...
Because I think she's there.
She's there in the room.
She's there watching.
Yeah, everyone's watching.
Yeah, everybody's watching and everybody knows that Rob Lowe is fucking her.
Everybody knows that this is the cuck because he just visited the fucking station in front of everybody.
So just like she did after they saved, you know, so they've met both of them now at this point.
They're all in the same room.
And they pull him out and I was really hoping somebody would make a blue balls joke, but no one did.
When they open the doors, is Captain Strand like at dick level?
Is he supposed to be naked?
Are they implying that we're seeing his...
They didn't show him in a suit or anything.
I thought he was in shorts or something.
Well, he was in a robe before we saw him get in, but he must have been in shorts.
They use a giant cat's paw.
I forgot what it's called.
Like a pry bar.
They pry barred the door open because it's all frozen.
Yeah.
Yeah, but they set him down, yeah, gingerly, and they're like...
And he is as frozen as...
He is, like, stiff as a board.
He is very clearly frozen.
No one has ever been so obviously dead.
Yeah.
And frozen solid.
So dead.
So dead.
And like I said, he moves like a mannequin.
He's a stiff human body.
It is so good.
I have in my notes very good frozen acting.
They Very good.
Very good.
Very, very good.
But I don't know.
They might have made that entire prop.
Because it looks like that might have...
Because, yeah, this...
And then they lay him down.
I think they did the thing thing where they just had a prop chest.
Oh, yeah.
Totally.
Totally.
Yeah, because they lay him down.
There's no pulse.
Well, there's no pulse.
What do you got to do?
Yeah, and it literally takes...
Because everybody is like, well, there's no point in trying to resuscitate this guy.
He's frozen solid.
He has been for an hour now at this point.
45 minutes, I think they say.
But it's like, I guess we got to go through the motions because this is my lover's husband and we got to be respectful or something.
So that's kind of the weird tone of everything.
He's like, okay...
Beginning compressions.
And he punches through the chest of the frozen corpse.
Just crushes the whole thing into goop inside in front of everybody.
And Rob Lowe's face right here is so fucking good because he just kind of goes like...
Yeah.
Over it.
And then he like pops back up.
And, like, turns away and everybody just, like, closes their eyes slowly or, like, looks down or grits their teeth.
And it's funny right here, too, because, like...
We all know what happened.
We all know that this guy's, like, dead, right?
But no one actually ever says he's dead.
No one tries to reassure Rob Blow, like, no man, you can't be frozen for that long and, like, still live.
Like, this man was definitely dead.
In fact, the fact that he froze to death in the thing kind of implies that, like, maybe something else killed him?
I think, sure, true, but looking at this guy, if you successfully brought him back, you'd be bringing something else back with him.
Totally, yeah.
He's that far gone.
While he was in the void, something would have attached itself to him, perhaps his soul, and you would be summoning it back.
Besides, everyone knows that if you're going to thaw a human body out, you need a giant tub of goo.
You need to submerge it in a giant tub of goo.
It needs to glow red or blue.
It needs to glow for a moment.
Ideally, it would be cylindrical.
Yeah, and if you don't have an AI bot counting down the process, then he's not going to make it.
What I'm getting at is we all know that chest compressions are not the answer.
And yeah, like you said, his hands fall through his chest as if his lungs were full of air, and that's why there's a void there.
And there's a straight cavity open.
Just crunch.
It was so beautiful that we...
Through his solar plexus.
Even though this is the scene that we've all seen, we've all seen this scene on the internet, we all know about this scene, it's still so good in the greater context that we did run it back and we did watch the hands go through the chest one more time.
The looks around from everybody is the best part to me.
Everybody is just like, oh, he did it, oh, he did it.
It's just like this, yikes.
Yeah, because everybody looks like they didn't think they were going to have to say out loud, don't start compressions, obviously.
Like, don't do that.
And it's like right when more people are getting there, too.
Yeah, it's like everybody just watched this man lock his keys in his car or whatever.
Yeah, except for it was, you know, kill his girlfriend's husband.
Well, it's like double kill him because he was already dead.
That's the whole thing.
He was already dead.
Can I tell you very briefly about what I had in mind for the husband character?
Like my imagined fan fiction about this.
So I knew that she was intelligent on her own right and that it was like her name was associated with the fortune or something like that.
But I thought like this guy might also be like a tech bro.
He's getting into the cryo chamber.
He's just kind of a weird guy in general.
He's very tech bro coded.
And she also says, when they're trying to get him out, they're like, doesn't this have an automatic shutoff?
And she goes, he disabled it because he knew better.
And I'm like, oh, he's full of himself, egotist, whatever.
This godlike, whatever, Randian tech bro guy.
And so maybe...
Maybe that's a cryo thing he invented to where it does have the Demolition Man little bead that hits the water and instantly freezes everything.
And he just had the settings wrong or something.
Maybe that's why.
Because otherwise it's so weird that it froze the other half of his body too as he's sticking out of the dead.
It's like a sauna.
It's like you would sit in a hot tub or something.
Shoulders expose it.
He's standing into it.
It goes up to his collarbone.
Oh, okay.
Upper part.
But, like, when he steps into it and it turns on, you see, like, the kind of jets of fog or steam or whatever.
Oh, they blasted him.
It looks like he's, like, you know, air is being blown over, like, nitroglycerin or something.
Or, you know, what am I thinking of?
Nitrogen.
Nitrogen.
Yeah, liquid nitrogen.
That's what I mean.
Like, he's being super cool.
Then you see the thermometer go down, and it's like 50-something, 30-something, 18.
It goes down to zero on the door when you first see him step in.
Probably so good for your testicles.
Oh, it's so good for him, yeah.
You know, it's funny because maybe he was like a tech guy.
Maybe his idea was he was doing it on purpose and Capstrand fucked that up.
He was like, I'm going to freeze myself, preserve myself for the duration of Captain Strand and my wife's little fling.
And then when they're done, I'll be the same age and she'll be this old raggedy hoe and I'll be young and virile and I'm going to stun on her.
And we'll still be married.
What if Rob Lowe had been into the desecration of the husband's corpse?
What if he had laughed about it?
He might have been.
We don't know.
I think there's a dark side to capture.
You want to fucking come into my house.
Come into my firehouse.
I will collapse your chest.
I will make it happen.
We're out of time right now.
We're in an hour.
Cool.
So, the thing is, this is 9-1-1, so this is a pretty packed show.
We're only like three quarters of the way through it.
I'm going to speedrun the subplot that was going on with Grace and Judd.
So, in the meantime...
Grace's dad and mom are babysitting the kid.
Grace and Judd are at work.
They get a 911 call.
Grace's dad is having an issue.
They recognize the address.
For some reason, they pass the call off to Grace.
Grace is a dispatcher for the 911, and one of her friends is like, Oh, Grace, your dad's having a heart attack?
Do you want to manage this situation?
Do you want to do this call?
And the whole time I'm like, this is wildly unprofessional.
This is probably not a good idea.
Yeah, and she's like screaming with her mom.
Her mom's not like being rational.
I guess the implication is because she's talking to the daughter.
Yeah, and they're both kind of being a little much, yeah.
And so that gets snuffed out pretty fast.
Somebody else comes up and takes the call.
Now, right, and they take the call, gets him through.
They get to the hospital.
Things are, you know, he's not looking good.
Things are critical.
She's tripping because the last thing she did was she actually finally told her dad off.
She was like, she's like, I'm happy you're here with me because if you're here with me, that means you're not out there cheating.
She doesn't say the exact words.
That's what she's implying.
She gives him pretty harsh words for his dad.
So she's tripping because dad's about to die.
I was mean to him.
I regret it being mean to him.
She's venting to Judd, telling Judd, like, you know, I can't believe she did, you know, he did this to my mom, blah, blah, blah.
Mom steps in and is like, actually, I knew about it.
We took care of it.
We're actually better than ever.
And this is a good lesson.
Like, you know, mind your fucking business.
Like, mind your fucking business.
That's grown folks' business.
Worry about yourself.
Mom and dad took care of it.
They're fine.
Um...
So that's all happening.
Dad's not doing great.
Grace is feeling terrible.
She goes in and is apologizing to him and laying on him.
He was really fond of her singing.
She starts singing.
The sisters come in.
They came in from out of town.
Apparently they got there within the hour.
The sisters are professional singers.
Yes, actual professional singers.
And they continue to sing a song called Smile.
Smile.
Um, not the Jay-Z one off 444.
This is a pretty incredible scene.
Yeah, she has this, like, you know, she rends her heart.
She gushes to her father's intubated and comatose form.
They had told us that he might not be the same afterward.
He had some permanent damage.
That he might not even wake up.
They're saying this before this, by the way.
Yeah, uh...
And then she just starts singing, like all the background noise drops out and it becomes like a studio album.
It turns into a Hallmark movie.
It turns into a Hallmark movie.
Hallmark movie, but I also was getting like Magnolia vibes.
Like she just starts singing, like is John C. Reilly going to start singing?
Julia, what's her name?
Julianne Moore.
But I like the singing scene because they're doing vocal ad-libs and stuff in this scene while they're serenading the dad's comatose body.
I bet he really appreciated the sass you put on that one.
One thing I really love is...
Grace continues to see lead on this song, even though the other two sisters are the professional singers.
I thought that was a little funny, and they just happened.
But anyways, their singing is so good.
And this is something that happens to me once in a while in 9-1-1.
They bring a little almost supernatural into it.
Sorry, you say supernatural.
I think you mean Christian.
I said supernatural because I wanted to encompass that and some supernatural stuff that also happens.
But yes, Christian.
Christian supernatural for sure.
Woo-woo, but in church.
Yeah.
What do you know?
Not only does he like the monitors go well now, but he's fully conscious.
He's fully back.
He heard the song.
It brought him back from the grips of death.
His tube magically disappeared from his throat, from his esophagus.
Somebody ripped it out real quick.
He suffered no brain damage from his heart stopping or anything like that.
He's fully fine.
The singing healed him.
They make some sassy jokes about that.
That's great.
Really heartwarming scene that you think would be the main part of the whole episode, but no, definitely the frozen husband takes the cake.
Now, for some reason, after the frozen husband gets taken away, Rob Lowe's like, hey, you're going through a lot.
How about you come back to my house?
And I know exactly what he's doing.
He's over here being like, I want to trauma bond myself somewhere and some pussy right now.
It's so sad what happened here.
I can't believe I killed him.
You must be going through a lot right now.
You shouldn't be alone right now.
Did you see how strong my hands are?
My hands are so strong.
So yeah, they're like...
They're kind of like...
She's grieving.
He's kind of comforting through it.
And then he gets a phone call.
And the phone call...
From a detective.
Is a detective who is like...
Yo, God, you were at a call earlier.
And he's like, oh, yeah, because I'm kind of thinking you low-key might be getting sued for murder right now.
It's kind of what I'm thinking right here.
But he's like, oh, by the way, you know, we did find some, what did he say, like, some neurotoxins in his system.
They think he didn't die of the, or maybe he was assisted by, yeah, they're treating it as a homicide.
Yeah.
And the first thing I do when I'm like on a homicide case is I go ahead and call one of the suspect's boyfriend side piece.
That's who I call.
I call the boyfriend who she was having kind of an affair with.
I call him and say, hey, by the way, that guy who died, the girl you're dating might have killed him, which is what happens in this phone call.
It's It's genius.
It's cop shit.
He's pitting him against her so that he'll rat on her for him.
Oh, yeah.
I wasn't even thinking that level of chess.
Because he's also suspecting Rob Lowe, but maybe doesn't actually suspect Rob Lowe.
But no, Rob Lowe is a goody-two-shoes, whatever, Boy Scout-type person.
So he's going to put him on the trail.
He's got access.
He's got access.
Very true.
I was thinking about it.
This is actually good cop shit.
He's actually pitting lovers against each other.
He's being a good detective.
He has background info because he's Carlos' dad.
Oh, that's Carlos' dad!
With the Texas Rangers.
Carlos, by the way, is also Captain Strahan's son's husband.
Just so you're keeping up the day with this.
This show is Christian, but it's the good kind of Christian.
Well, it's the kind of Christian that also loves Muslim women.
So, that's good.
So, it was interesting to hear your perspective on the Father's Infidelity subplot.
Uh-huh.
Um...
I read it as very Christian.
This is like what happens when a Christian dad gets canceled for fucking around in a different country or whatever, and they bring him back in through the power of the church and through the power of grace and forgiveness and yada, yada, yada.
And it's like, I get it if both parties are adults and they work to something that works for both of them.
I totally get that.
But this is like...
Grace is very Christian.
Her husband's got the fucking Christian hand tattoo.
Like, nothing screamed abuse at me more than a guy who just is, like, one of his few tattoos is a Christian hand tattoo.
Yeah, yeah.
You know, it says that, like, it says a...
Like, he's trying to look like boondock saints or some shit like that, you know?
He has to look at that before, because I think one of the reasons God is to look at that before he gets rageful and shit.
But that's another reason I thought, like, oh, I guess they wouldn't go with he abused her as a daughter, because then we'd be doing some Duggar family shit.
It'd be too real.
It'd be too real.
Yeah, no, but, so, that part, I mean, I do like that that whole part was kind of like, it's cool if dad cheats every once in a while.
It's fine, you know?
That kind of happens a couple times, too, in the series, which is really funny.
Yeah, I love it.
Then we leave off with, yeah, Captain Strand on the phone with the detective who's basically telling him, hey, that woman you're with right now might have probably murdered the husband.
And, um...
Honestly, all W's for Captain Strand.
Yeah.
Like, now he doesn't even have to, like, because at first he's like, okay, well, her husband's dead.
I guess I'm gonna go ahead and bag this.
But I don't really want to bag this because I'm kind of like, I don't know how I feel about it.
It feels kind of messy.
It feels kind of weird.
Oh, wait, she's going to jail anyways for murder?
Pshh.
Easy.
Easy math.
So he is going to marry her.
No, he's not.
He doesn't have to now.
You do marry her, and then she goes to prison, and then you just chill.
You just chill in the mansion.
You marry each other, so you don't have to testify against each other.
Oh, that's beautiful.
That's great.
It was meant to be.
This is beautiful.
I haven't seen the next episode, so I'm excited for that as well.
Wait, have you not seen the next episode?
No, I have not seen the episode, yeah.
Oh, God, I almost accidentally spoiled it for you.
Alright, maybe we'll do a part two.
I thought you wanted us to talk about the next one.
Well, I don't know, we'll see.
Maybe we'll do a part two.
I don't want to fuck it up for Tony.
I think we might have to.
I think we have to, yeah.
Oh, God, I'm so excited for you to see it.
Great.
So that was open.
That was the episode open of 9-1-1 Lone Star.
9-1-1 Lone Star.
Best show on fucking TV, goddammit.
Yeah, not to be confused with 9-1-1, which is also...
Which is, I think, the second best show on TV. It's just hard because it does make me hate Angela Bassett, which just hurts every time.
But other than that, it's a fantastic show.
Yeah, well, I happen to think that Last Responders is also a fantastic show, Tony.
If people want to hear more Last Responders, what should they do?
I think maybe they should sign up for our Patreon.
