"I was just trying to be black!" - Black. White. Ep. 2 (preview)
Today we revisit the mid-00's, Ice Cube-produced race-swapping reality TV show Black. White. Bruno does and says incredibly racist things while trying to prove racism isn't real Rene and Carmen fight over Carmen's use of the black term, "bitch" Rose tries rapping in her def poetry group Rene listens to an argument from a white bar patron about "how black people are" And Bryan and Rene wait to see if Bruno and Carmen will wear Dashikis on their visit to a black church service Sign up at http://patreon.com/miniondeathcult to hear the full episode or watch the stream with video.
But you're continuing to hold on to what you just talked about.
No, no, no.
Wait, wait, wait.
I'm not gonna say...
Exhale everybody.
Yes, I accept her apology, but you know that was so rude.
I feel like if I was white she probably wouldn't have done that.
I just know what type of person I'm dealing with and I just moved on.
- I actually think that white women call each other bitch way more than black women do. - Hey, white man.
- No. - Yeah, I was just gonna ask you.
- There you go, thank you, Nicky. - I'll say, yeah.
I think Brian likes me.
I think Brian thinks I'm naive and unwilling to look at the fact that there is racism and that it's tougher to be.
If Brian thinks you're naive, that's being charitable.
Yeah.
That's extremely charitable to you.
I don't think many of us think he's being naive, right?
White dad?
I don't think so.
Yeah, no.
You can't be a 45-year-old man and be naive.
It's not allowed.
That's not a word you're allowed to use.
A black person in this society.
Guys, we're gonna go sip a little wine tonight.
Yeah.
I want to show Brian that even when black people aren't around, or when white people don't think black people are around, white people don't harbor all this racism, in fact, that it truly isn't there.
They're at a wine bar in Pasadena.
The two dads, they're going in as white dads.
He's like, let me take you to this white thing.
A primarily white bar to discuss race.
That's so cool.
That's so wild!
What a good night.
We're gonna go out to a bar to discuss some race.
That's what me and the boys always do.
We go to the wine bar and discuss race.
Crackin' open the calipers with the boys.
Hey man, your friend looks really weird.
- In town from Georgia, visiting. - Santa Monica.
- Hey man, your friend looks really weird.
What's wrong with him? - That's the thing is like, he's, he might not, people might not know he's black, but he's definitely gonna be treated as like not white.
*laughs* They're like only talking to people who absolutely know they're part of a TV show.
Yeah.
You're looking at a man with the most makeup on you've ever seen in your life.
So good.
Yes, I'd love to discuss race with you.
A man whose head is 1.25 times its normal size just because of makeup.
The thickness of the makeup.
What do you think a racial situation like here in Pasadena is like?
Racial?
Blacks?
Migs?
It's pretty Migs.
I just want big Migs.
That's what I thought.
Interracial marriages.
Nobody cares.
What a weird thing to ask somebody!
You think this guy is gonna know the interracial marriage statistic for Pasadena?
Like, again, you know, to go back to like bartending, you do have candid conversations with people and you hear them, you hear that at, you know, at, I guess people aren't really going to ask a lot about interracial relationships in front of me.
Now that I think about it.
No one's talking like this.
No one's doing this.
What are the race relations like in this town, huh?
Yeah, I guess he's trying to get him to say something about interracial marriage.
Tactic may work.
Let's see.
How do you feel about dating interracially?
Have you?
I have, yes.
Have you?
Are you guys with Patriot Front?
Like, what is going on here?
- Thank you. - Have you?
I would think I just by-- - Are you guys with Patriot front?
Like what is going on here?
What are you guys doing here? - Yeah, at this point I think I'm being pressed for being maybe a race traitor.
I got this like bald white man being like, how do you feel about it?
You feel cool with it?
What's going on over there?
Would you do it?
Are you part of the problem?
Cool.
Would you consider marrying a black woman?
Sure.
So fast!
This is the best small talk I've ever heard.
I love chit chat.
Would you ever marry a black woman?
Halle Berry?
- Barry?
Yeah, of course I'd marry Halle Berry.
- You know, I just find it a little strange that Bruno just come out with his little guns blazing.
- So weird. - The first question he asks before he even says hello and really properly introduced is, you know, what's the racial makeup of out here? - I think I'm gonna lose the bet on this one.
Have you ever dated a black guy?
Did I what?
Ever date a black guy?
Yes.
Ah, loss.
I've got a question I haven't asked yet.
Would you be less apt to consider a long-term, maybe in the future, relationship with a black guy due to the fact that they are notorious for not sticking around and taking care of their families?
Due to the fact that they are notorious for holy shit Wow, he's just naive Tony He's just naive about this stuff He's gotta say something like hey, listen, I'm an act.
I'm an acting dad right now I'm acting as a dad on the show.
Yeah, we need to do another census and get Tony involved.
Oh Did that cross your mind?
Yeah.
Jesus Christ.
I did date one guy that was African American.
And he's great.
He's awesome.
We're still really good friends.
Even if we didn't have a serious relationship, I don't think he would leave.
Some of the questions that Bruno was asking just really lets me know that that's his view of the black race.
I love it.
I love Bruno is like searching for racism.
Where is it?
I can't find it.
And it's emanating out of his beating heart.
Yeah, it's like he's doing these leading questions that are making people be like, well, hearing it makes me feel like I should probably disagree with it, with what you're saying.
The way you're saying it makes me feel like maybe it's not that bad.
Yeah, this poor waitress, like this is awful, you know?
Jesus Christ, man.
This guy's, man, this guy's whole thing is so, like, his, his, uh, his vibes are fucked.
There's a lot of infidelity in the race, so he found it strange that the white girl said, yeah, they would still date a black guy.
Is the myth true?
What?
Are black men more endowed than white men?
You know what, I wouldn't even... You've seen a bunch of dicks, right?
You've seen enough dicks to collect a census, right?
You're fucking sexually harassing your waitress, dude.
God, that's awful.
Over black dicks.
Tell me that, is it true?
On TV.
You're doing it in front of so many people.
Black guy have one bigger than this one right here?
Have you ever seen one bigger than this one right there?
Have you seen it?
Any black guys have a big... You ever let a black guy fuck you in front of your boyfriend?
Heard about this stuff.
Heard about that.
Yeah.
I don't know.
It's weird, right?
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