because I know how the enemy uses the pumpkin... i don't want it in my house (Preview)
Help us do the show for only $3.11/month at http://patreon.com/miniondeathcult and get a bonus episode in your podcast app or browser every week, as well as instant access to hundreds of previous bonus episodes. This week we talk about cool bands, movies about cool surfer transplants from California, and a movie made by face perverts. Also: Herschel Walker's senate candidacy continues to be incredible, and his Based Gay Son has finally had enough. Lastly, we're learning about the dangers of Halloween from a former practicing witch, the evil uses to which pumpkins are put, and "fake" haunted houses that turned out to be "real" (too scary)
Her story, Jenny Weaver's story, is that she used to be a witch.
Oh, whoa, whoa.
We got a real witch?
We have a real- They got a real witch?
Wow, amazing.
Bonafide witch, uh...
Who goes on to like the 700 Club or goes on you know to her her Facebook when she goes live to tell this story again and again where she used to be a witch and she got in over her head and she starts off at least a couple times she started off this story by talking about the craft The 1990s movie?
The craft has set us all down some pretty dark paths.
Myself, my addiction to white women and that's something I've been fighting and so I understand where she's coming from.
Spooky is not an ethnicity and I need to remember that.
Uh, she says, you know, the craft, the craft inspired her.
She saw these cool girls doing cool stuff and, uh, inspired her to be cool.
Uh, no, she said she was like raised in a, in a Christian household and was like severely abused.
And, uh, her dad eventually left leaving them, uh, very poor.
Um and she was like partying a little too hard at you know at a too young of an age uh and that of course led her to witchcraft and where she she would talk about like crystals you know holding crystals and um she eventually moved in with a family who were like generationally pagans or wiccans excuse me This is how it goes.
Everyone knows that partying leads to pottering.
And there's really no... Once you got that wand in your hand... I thought pottering was like a technical wedge term that I hadn't heard of.
Yeah, no, it is.
That's exactly what it is.
Oh, shit.
Is that a real thing?
People call it that?
No, no, no.
I wouldn't be surprised.
They just had to do that when they were really trying to make Harry Potter look evil.
I wonder how they feel now about that, leaning into that when they're on the same side now.
Yeah, it's interesting.
She says like, yeah, it, uh, she was hearing voices all the time that were like, I'm going to kill you.
I'm going to kill you.
And she says that that was because of the witchcraft.
And... Oh my God.
In my mind, like, I think you're doing it wrong.
If the, if you know, the, the black t-shirt says the, I hear voices and they're on my side and they don't like you.
Like it doesn't, it doesn't say I hear voices and they're constantly like threatening me.
Yeah, I hear voices.
Can you help me?
They're gonna kill me.
That's never been a shirt.
And then she also said she made a drawer move.
Like, she went to open a drawer and it popped open into her hand, and it freaked her the frick out.
Whoa.
And then, what else did she say?
She, like, it was, she made some, like, dolls fall off her windowsill.
She, like, pointed at them and they all fell.
She was like, okay, this is way too much for me.
And I don't know.
That seems like if I saw that shit happen, I would be like, amazing.
Wow.
This actually works.
Wow.
Moving objects with my mind.
Something I've been trying to do since I was five years old actually worked.
Oh my God.
I remember being a kid and being in the shower and watching the way the water would come off my fingertip.
And it kind of came a little further off my fingertip than, you know, I thought it would.
And I thought for sure, I was like, this is just the beginning.
Water's my thing.
I can control this, no doubt.
And you know my ass sat in that shower and stared at my fingers for hours.
I mean, not hours.
For way too long.
So, like, yeah, if I made a fucking doll move, you bet your ass I'm probably standing in front of a truck, like, the next day.
With my palm out.
Nope.
Like, that's just an opportunity.
This is gonna fucking rule.
Well, it would have to be in front of a boat, Tony, for you, if you're a waterbender.
That's true, that's true, that's true.
He fucking thought you were a waterbender.
Southern California is the worst place to be a waterbender, I'll tell you that much.
With these droughts, I never was able to fulfill my potential.
Imagine what a cool kid from California you could be, could have been, if you could bend water.
Oh, man.
They were like, I think he's cheating in the surf competitions.
Yeah, that's why you get run out of town.
But when you're in class, you splash the bully's water in his own face.
He's like, hey, how did you do that?
The truth is, I would lose points because I'm doing a Doctor Strange finger swirl while I'm surfing and looking really stupid.
