We're Americans. We're pagans. We're conservatives, and we vote
This week Kim Bertrand from the internet and from the television show Lost joins us to witness a police officer suffering on facebook after being spurned by his favorite n-word user, Morgan Wallen Also, pagan conservatives are ready to separate themselves from their liberal sistren, who care just a little too much about the environment and reproductive rights. Support the show at http://patreon.com/miniondeathcult for only $3.11/month and get a bonus episode every week as well as instant access to hundreds of previous bonus episodes, directly in your podcast app or browser. Music: Morgan Wallen & Lil Durk - Broadway Girls Pentagram - Be Forewarned
The liberals are destroying California, and conservative humor gone awry... Conservative humor gone awry is going to fascistphonia today.
So stay tuned, we're going to take a few pictures of the desert and how their policies are actually messing it up.
It's not beautiful when you go across that border.
Stay tuned guys, we'll show you exactly what it looks like when you're in the middle of the storm deserts.
Follow their environmental stuff.
Stay tuned.
I'm Alexander Edward.
And I'm Tony Boswell.
And we're Minion Death Cult.
The world is ending.
Neopagans making traditionalists and reconstructionists grouchy are responsible.
And we're documenting it.
What's up, everybody?
It's Minion Death Cult.
It's your episode for the week.
Thank you so much for tuning in.
We have a wonderful guest here today.
We have Kimberly Bertrand, a stand-up comedian, shit poster on Facebook and Instagram, formerly of the TV show Lost.
That's right.
I was on Lost.
I was dead body number four.
in the pilot.
I was a bloated corpse number four.
That's how it's listed.
Incorrectly on my IMDB.
But we're trying to get that updated.
Magnificent performance, by the way.
I totally believed you were bloated.
Thank you.
It's very easy for me to act like a bloated corpse.
I basically do it 24-7.
So, I mean, when I got the call from JJ, that's Abrams, of course, he said, hey, look, I really need someone who just looks dead outside, inside, off-putting, and we really think that your vibe is horrible, and we'd like you to just lie still on the beach for 20 to 30 minutes, and we'll, you know, You'll get a credit for it.
I've been fighting for that credit, by the way.
I thought it was pretty cool that you took some creative liberties and you're supposed to stay still, but you still threw that wink at the camera.
I did.
That was pretty cool.
I did.
I've seen bodies do the tick where they... Sometimes it can be a wink.
We don't know.
I'm not going to tell dead body what to do, and I thought that was really cool of you.
Was it difficult to maintain your composure when... I think it's how they do the swing lanterns around behind the camera to create that lens flare that's constantly happening.
Is it difficult?
Yeah, it was very difficult to remain still.
JJ is a very intense lamp swinger.
He's a creative tour de force.
Yeah, so I mean like I filled in occasionally because there's a lot of lens flare that needs to be done from the beginning of the day to the end of the day.
So when I wasn't dead body number four, you can also see me in the additional crew credits as a lens flareman.
They listed me as lens flareman, first name lens, last name flareman.
Yeah, well great to have you here.
You know, one thing that I noticed when I look at your material on Facebook and Instagram, your shitposts, I do see a lot of the divine feminine in your work.
So I thought, you know, a little later in the show we could discuss pagan conservatism I would love that.
I have some thoughts.
Very excited to dabble into that.
But first, you know, this is our first time meeting.
There are some listeners of ours who like your page and vice versa, it appears.
I gotta tell you, every time I post any Minion-related content, I get someone commenting, when are you gonna go on Minion Death Cult's podcast?
And I'm like, I don't know.
You know, whenever.
And I post minions, like, every day, guys, so I got this comment a lot.
So yeah, I think, like, out of sheer frustration and spite, full disclosure, I may have messaged you and said, hey, can I be on?
You know, like, as a way to get them to shut up, but that doesn't negate My gratitude for being here.
I mean, it's a great show and I love it.
So let that be a lesson to everybody.
If you want to be on a podcast, just DM them and ask to be on.
Any podcast.
We all have complicated relationships with minions and, like, the things that they make us do, you know, the things that, you know, we get associated with.
The minions are making you do stuff?
I think it's supposed to be the other way around, dude.
Are they overpowering you?
Are they dominating you?
I mean, the minions of the minions make us do things.
Oh, okay.
You know?
Sure.
So, like, since they, you know, since they go to the Patreon, we're gonna go ahead and do it.
Oh, so the fans of your show are called Minions, of course.
No, they're called Minion Death Commandos.
They're the Death Commandos.
Minion Death Commandos.
Okay, alright.
Yeah, and while we're on the subject here, like I said, I like your work, I know you professionally, in a professional way, but there's a question, like, are you cool?
And that's something that we, Tony and I, we bounce back and forth, like, is Kimberly cool?
Is she a death commando?
Is she part of the crew?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, most definitely.
Well, I mean, we have a way to make sure, which is, you know, we're going to bring you into this crew.
We we have to make you make fun of a cop.
Yeah, I think I got that handled, you guys.
I think we're good.
I mean, do you want me to make fun of a cop now, or should I bust it out in a minute?
I mean, I could tell you a cop joke, I guess.
This is totally my lane, by the way.
I was trying to segue into a segment.
Before anyone gets mad at me.
Oh, great.
Sorry.
You didn't do your research.
I derail everything I'm a part of.
You do your setup, and then I'll Hold my talk.
I'll make fun of cops in it.
Well, I think you're gonna mess up some cops right now.
Yeah, I think you can do it right now because I have a post here from Hansville today, which I think that's like probably a place, Hansville.
I'm not aware of it, but it's probably somewhere.
My cousin's from Pantsville.
Pantsville or Hansville?
Pantsville.
What did you say?
Yeah, this is Hantsville.
Maybe Hantsville.
Oh, I don't know no Hantsville.
They're next to each other.
That's what's weird.
They're like right next to each other.
Really?
Oh, that's right.
That's right.
Yeah, they're big rivals.
The Pantsville Cougars and the Hantsville.
Cougars.
Very unoriginal.
That's actually the origin of the beef, is they wouldn't surrender.
Yeah, they... What happened in Hantsville today?
Who are the true Cougs, is the question in Hantsville slash Pantsville.
Yeah, I don't think we get into that aspect of it in this post.
This was shared by Austin Jones into the Minion Death Commandos Facebook group, so thank you, Austin.
I've been sitting on this for a week or two now.
I love this post.
I love this story.
Yeah, this is a post from Hansville Today.
Police officer speaks out following Morgan Wallen concert.
So let me tell y'all about Morgan Wallen, it goes.
While working the rock, while working rock the South in Coleman, I guess that's like rock the vote, but instead of voting, you just live in the South.
It's an improperly formatted title, too.
The T of the The is capitalized.
I don't know why that bothers me so much.
It's conservatives and capitalization.
They do weird things with capitals.
I would also make an argument that the South has been rocking the whole time.
We don't need to rock the South.
The South is already in a perpetual state of rocking.
We don't need to go out of our way to do it.
Unlike the vote, which is every two, four years.
But the South, I think, is always rocking.
That's what I'm told.
The South is like rapping, but maybe like bringing some rock into it, you could do like a Cypress Hill type thing.
If you also add some rock in there.
Well, the one album, not the other album.
The rock version of Skull and Bones, not the rap version of Skull and Bones.
Well, of course, that's what I'm talking about.
I'm talking about the double album that has both.
The double album has both, yeah.
And that's America.
America should be a Cypress Hill double album.
That's how we should live.
We should live in unison like the Skull and Bones.
Is it Skull and Bones, right?
Isn't that what it's called?
Yeah, maybe.
I mean, I hate to be old school, but if we want the South to both rock and rap at the same time, I mean, Limp Bizkit, they're having a comeback, right?
Oh yeah, that's true.
Fred Durst needs to eat.
That brings the best part of the southern rap to the best part of the southern rock.
It's really the best of both worlds, Limp Bizkit.
Okay.
While working Rock the South in Cullman this year, I got to listen to some amazing musicians.
The one I was looking forward to the most, I ended up working right by the stage at his request for extra protection.
And so, uh, again, who we're talking about is this is a cop writing this, uh, about Morgan Wallen, uh, who's probably most famous for saying the N word while playing a video game.
And, uh, for some reason, this cop, oh man, that's his favorite guy.
And brother, I would love to protect you from anything, anybody who might wish you harm.
I don't know who those people might be, but God, I want to protect you from them.
Is he a streamer?
He's a country singer streamer?
I think maybe he was like asked onto a screen onto a stream and took some liberties with the stream.
Maybe made it his own.
Once you got the sticks in your hands, it's not really your fault anymore.
You know?
Yeah.
And that's, I mean, that's smart.
That could be admitted into court as evidence later.
Yeah, that's smart.
I respect that.
And also they should be doing their job, not recording me.
him dot dot dot dot specifically just law enforcement and that's i mean that's smart that could be admitted into court as evidence later yeah that's smart i respect that after and also they should be doing their job not not recording me that's a i mean yeah that's a good point i come down on the other side of this guys i i I mean, didn't we fight so long to get body cams on all cops, you know?
I thought it was a positive thing when police record you.
Yeah, but he knows they're just going to delete the footage later anyway, so what's the point?
Oh, fair enough.
That 30 second lag can last as long as they want, really.
This is a good point.
This is a good point.
And Morgan Whalen, obviously, he knew that.
And he said, don't even bother.
You know?
I know you're gonna delete the footage.
Okay.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Got it.
Also, Morgan Walla said, don't make eye contact with me.
Do not look at me.
And so, their bodies are like, have to be pointed away anyway.
You know?
That's reasonable.
Yeah.
After he performed the show, he walked around the center stage signing autographs.
I see a white cowboy hat fly towards the stage and circle back towards me, hitting the ground at my feet.
I picked it up as Morgan Wallet kneeled on stage right above me.
I handed it to him and said, someone threw this so I think they want to go sign it.
Morgan Wallet looked at me with squinted eyes as if he was disgusted, did not sign the hat, then threw it behind him to discard it.
I just responded with, oh, dot dot dot dot, okay then.
This is another thing man with the I'm sorry.
This is this isn't even funny to anyone I just got to point out that conservatives and and and and punctuating things I don't understand man, you know at most when you do ellipses it's three and And that what pisses me off is they didn't do six, you know, they did Why do you it is three four five so hard for their for the freedom of speech that?
This is what we're fighting for.
I'm all about freeze peach and all that good shit.
Just say you hate the Constitution.
Just say it out loud.
I do.
Of course I do.
Do you know how many ellipses are in the Constitution?
Oh God, that explains fucking everything.
Holy fucking shit.
I know and it's got weird capitalization too in that fucking thing.
Well, the ellipses are incursive.
I didn't fucking think about it.
It's impossible as a millennial to even count them to begin with.
Sorry, you said it.
Big news, huge news everybody.
My kid's learning cursive.
In public school.
Fucking finally.
The hell are you talking about?
That's not a thing anymore.
What do you mean?
It is.
She's learning cursive.
See that's what happens.
You get rid of critical race theory and then you got time for cursive.
They're listening.
They're listening to us.
Yeah.
The kids are gonna be okay.
And then she came home and called me a pussy for having an automatic car.
I thought that was pretty cool.
I think you're raising your kid right from what I'm hearing.
They're going to be okay.
I'm sorry.
Speaking of cursive, I'm very excited about that.
How do you get that out there?
I'm going to get Penny a shirt that says, uh, daddy, uh, vehicle theft prevention device.
And it's, uh, yeah, that diagram for a manual shifter.
I love that.
I love that response.
Oh, okay then.
I guess, like, fuck me, right?
I mean like what it let's such like a I don't know.
This is all very victim me.
Am I right?
I I'm normally hashtag believe victims and all that shit.
But what was the cop wearing?
You know, maybe we was asking for it.
Maybe he was wearing something.
Yeah, see, I mean, obviously that was the wrong choice in this situation.
I think I think I think he had some things coming to him.
He looked at me with squinted eyes.
He looked at me with squinted eyes as if he could barely bear to look at me.
He had to shield half of his eyes.
He was just high.
What was the plan with the hat though?
I mean the hat was thrown up on the stage and he's like, I think someone wants you to sign this.
Were you going to find Who the hat belonged to?
It's pretty stupid from beginning to end.
Yeah.
I think someone wants you to sign this.
I don't know who.
Oh, okay.
Cool, man.
Thank you.
Get the fuck out of my face.
Yeah.
Fuck off.
You cannot shoot somebody if you have a hat in your hand.
You need to put that down.
After the incident, he sent one of his security to me and I was told Morgan said he was sorry.
He thought you said throw it.
Now using common sense, why would someone hand him a hat to not sign and just toss it aside?
Why would he sign everything else except the fan's one hat?
My response to Morgan Wallet's actions.
It appears you have a dislike for law enforcement.
I was simply attempting to help a fan since their hat didn't make it to you.
It appeared to me that you saw my uniform and immediately passed judgment on me.
See?
What you didn't notice is that while you performed, I slightly mouthed every word to your songs.
Dot dot dot dot.
Every song at that.
What you didn't know was I was listening to your music and myself was a fan even after the media tried to make you out to be a bad person.
Even after you not wanting anything to do with the people helping protect you, I was honored to be part of that.
That poor fan lost their hat because it was an L.E.O.
who handed it to you.
You could've still got the hat back to the guy.
What does him being a L.E.O.
have to do with anything?
We really gonna bring fucking astrology into this shit too?
I love this so much.
Listen, Morgan Wallet, I stuck with you even when you called people the n-word, but I never thought you would be bigoted against police.
I never thought you would judge somebody how they looked if they were a police officer.
I thought you saying that word so casually meant you were for sure on my side, actually.
Now I'm very confused.
I don't understand.
I don't know what has happened with you in the past that has caused your dislike of law enforcement.
I love that so much.
That's like, actually, I'm neurodivergent, and when I was young, a police officer scared me, so that's why I call them the N-word now.
Yeah, that's the reason it just comes out sometimes.
Have you seen those, Kimberly?
Have you seen those, like, tweets where it's somebody's like, uh, actually I'm autistic and that's why I'm scared of black people?
Oh, oh yeah!
Yeah, that's like peak... I don't know what the hell, that's like, that's left posting wrapping in on itself or some shit.
It's insane.
Yeah, that's like, uh, you go so far into tender queerdom that you become virulently racist.
Yeah, you know, horseshoe theory is not always correct, but sometimes when it comes to genderqueers and racism, you know, there's a horseshoe aspect to it for sure.
People don't understand, but the way that the hood is constructed, the way the cone peaks at top, and the way it hugs your face, it's a whole sensory thing.
That's why those hoods feel so nice to wear.
That makes a lot of sense.
I've got a touch of the autism.
You think I should- It's a weighted hood.
Okay.
Should I look into this?
It's a medical device, for God's sakes.
You know, we can't stop judging people.
I think you can get it covered with your insurance.
I think most insurances should cover it.
Yeah.
Temple Grand in Grand Dragon.
That's where they got the name from.
I love this cop being like, you didn't even notice that I was mouthing every word to your songs.
Oh my god, dude.
I don't know, I guess maybe when I was like 13, I hope that the band noticed that I knew their words.
Maybe I did that.
Um, you're like a, you're a cop working like security, but you're like, God, I, you didn't even, you didn't even notice I was mouthing all your, I knew them all.
I knew them all.
What a, what a fucking baby, man.
You got to get paid to stand right in front of your favorite N-word sayer in the world.
Yeah.
And you're complaining because he like, he didn't sign someone else's hat.
Yeah.
But you could have still not signed for the fan.
You could have still done that.
I was gonna wait for the moment where I would rip open my police shirt and show you my Morgan Wallet shirt underneath.
But you probably wouldn't even care.
And it's not the one that you were selling there tonight.
This is one I bought a year ago.
Okay?
When you know.
You know when I bought it.
You know why I bought it.
I haven't watched it actually.
It's funny because I don't want to like this guy obviously.
This country star.
But he's winning some points on me.
Just by default.
Because of this male Karen behavior from this other guy.
The way he threw the hat just really showed me that he cares.
Hopefully one day you can find it in you to not judge someone by their profession.
Just stick to skin color.
Don't judge someone by their profession.
And realize that you have fans of all kinds.
This unfortunate event has me taking a different view of you.
I know you're a country music star, but with all due respect, I put my pants on one every day, just like you, one leg at a time.
Okay, buddy.
And then the photo they chose to accompany this post is a photo of Morgan Wallen, where he's like yelling and pointing at like, I don't know, a cop that he sees that he's trying to have escorted out of the premises.
He's yelling, ACAB, right there.
So I can't help but notice with this photo and with this other photo that I just sent to the chat in here, I really zeroed in on the part where he says he looked at me with squinted eyes.
And I cannot find a picture of Morgan Whelan where he's not squinting.
I think he might just kind of look like that.
I realized I didn't send a photo.
I sent a New York Times news article.
Paywalled article, actually.
Paywalled article, so that's useful for you guys.
That was real classist of you.
I want to point that out.
Yeah, I'm a big shot who pays a dollar a month for the New York Times.
Pretty fucked up.
It's pretty fucked up.
It's cool though.
But at home, any of you listeners want to Google Morgan Whalen, I mean his eyes are always half closed.
He's a sleepy man, you know, I don't know.
I love this cop coming on here and like...
Being like, I'm gonna write an open letter to Morgan Wallet, and everybody's gonna be on my side.
Nobody's gonna call me a fucking bitch.
It's all gonna be great.
Well, speaking of that, speaking of letters, you know, this open letter isn't the only thing that this guy put out there, actually.
have something a little bit exclusive.
Oh, did you find something else?
Yeah.
So, you know, I'm a little bit connected these days.
I have a contact at TMZ.
And, you know, he didn't know what to do with it because it's not like, you know, I guess big enough deal for them to want to publish it.
So, uh, basically the tea is, I just, I just, I just told him what I was going to be doing today.
Uh, and he, uh, he said, uh, great, you know, um, it's Perez Hilton I'm talking about.
He's a big fan of, uh, Minion Death Cult, by the way.
Uh, and yeah, he, he was like, um, uh, I actually, I actually have something about that.
That's so funny that you mention it.
And apparently this, um, they got ahold of this letter somehow.
It's a private letter that this cop wrote to, to Morgan Wallen.
Wow, I can't wait to hear it.
Could you recite it for us?
Sure, yeah, I'll get into it.
I just want to, you know, of course say that, you know, don't go bothering TMZ over this or anything.
They won't be able to confirm it.
All right?
I'm kind of taking a big professional risk here by even letting it out.
So... I mean, you're taking a professional risk by mentioning a competitor's media company so often on this show.
Okay, so it goes like this.
My doughnuts got cold, I'm wondering why.
Got out of my car at all, the morning ray clouds up my window.
As I choked out some can, and even if he complies he'll still get tased.
Chauvin's picture on my wall.
It reminds me that I'm not so bad.
I'm not so bad.
Dear Morgan, I wrote you, but you still ain't calling.
I left my cell, taser, and my home phone at the bottom.
I choked out two kids before I beat him.
You must not have seen him.
It probably wasn't covered by the MSM for PC reasons.
Anyway, fuck it.
What's been up, man?
How you feeling?
My girlfriend's pregnant too.
She's about to get it beaten.
If they...
If they send me to Harlem, guess what I'm gonna call him.
I'mma call him... Bonnie.
I heard you got cancelled too.
Damn, it's wrong.
I got a friend get cancelled over some neck he was kneeling on.
I know you probably hear this every day, but I'm your biggest fan.
I even got the cowboy hat that got thrown from the stands.
I got a room full of your posters and your pictures, man.
I like the shit you did with Lil Durk, too.
That shit was fat.
Anyways, I hope you get this, man.
Hit me back.
Just a chat.
Truly yours.
Your biggest fan, Officer Stan.
So, uh...
I mean, that's a clear indicator of some kind of mental illness.
This guy has a lot going on, is what I'm getting at.
The cadence was there, though.
I mean, the syllable count, it was all pretty one-to-one.
I mean, it was fire.
It's problematic fire, you know?
He didn't really do anything with Little Dirk, did he?
Morgan Wallen, he really did.
Yeah, he really did.
It's a deep cut that that officer pulled for that, but he really did.
Did he remake accidental racist after saying the n-word?
Did he do another one?
I don't know if Lil Durk was like his, you know, you know what people do when they get in trouble for saying something racist.
They go and collab with, you know, whoever they were racist towards.
I didn't realize he did one with Lil Durk.
That's wild.
Yeah, yeah, that's actually the first Google results when you type in Morgan Wallen collaboration.
So, you know, the writer of this letter, aka the cop, obviously didn't...
Google that deep.
That's amazing.
Wow.
Well, that was something.
It's rare that we get exclusive access to stuff like that.
So thank you, Kimberly, for bringing that.
Oh, yeah.
Any time.
Any time.
And my buddies at TMZ.com.
That's TMZ.com.
Would love to hear your feedback, your comments.
What does TMZ stand for, anyway?
The Moron Zone, I think, is what I heard it was for.
Yeah.
I do wonder if people could hear that letter, would it affect the way that they reacted to this?
Because it kind of made me feel different myself.
I think so too.
I think I have more sympathy for him now?
Exactly, yeah.
Something's going on there.
I don't know.
I'm more impressed.
It's one thing to be like, oh, I was mouthing all the words.
And it's like, yeah, cool.
That's what people say they can do.
But then to hear his flow and to hear all of that.
That's his dedication.
People didn't maybe respond the way that this officer wanted them to.
Most of the top comments were like Michelle's here who says, Good Lord, Facebook really needs an eye roll reaction.
The law enforcement is there to do a job, not to get a free concert.
He misunderstood and if all the security are standing around looking at their phones, taking pictures and taking videos of him, how are they going to protect him?
I didn't even finish reading this.
Ridiculous.
And I do like that aspect of it, that this cop was like, the frickin' celebrity artist wouldn't even let me use my phone to video the concert?
It's like, you're opening up a can of worms if you're in right-wing Bible Belt Boomer Facebook.
There's one thing they hate more, or they hate as much as not drinking from the fucking hose.
It's bringing your gosh dang cell phone to a concert And holding it up in front of the people who are just there to live in the moment.
You know, to enjoy life.
So true.
Yeah.
When I see people doing that, I like to record them just enjoying life.
I like to capture that moment.
Yeah, well, that should be fair.
I mean, because then you can put it in a meme later to shame people younger than you.
Exactly.
That should be within the limits.
Yeah, most of the responses were like, dude, shut the fuck up.
You're stupid.
This comment is still a pro-cop comment.
This comment is still very much like, we need them to protect us.
And if you're on your phone, you can't do that job.
That's what's funny about it.
I was like, us and Michelle probably don't agree on a lot of stuff.
Um, but, but here she's like, no, shut up.
Like, dude, go do your job.
I want you to go do your job.
That's what I'm saying though.
It's, I don't know if I would call that a pro police statement.
It sounds a lot like shut up and dribble.
You know, it sounds a lot like this cop's finally getting some of the flack that Mr. LeBron James gets every single day of his life.
How does it taste, you know?
True, but also, like, we don't want them to dribble at all, you know?
Right, but I wouldn't say that conservatives want LeBron James to dribble either, you know?
Yeah, true, yeah.
But, okay, I found some responses that were interesting.
And in their own right, you know.
Barry Bartlett says, the officer sounds very unprofessional in this rant, not a fan of Wallen, but I'm also not a fan of trying to discredit someone with dumb accusations.
And then Hanseville Today replies, just because he is a police officer doesn't mean he can't have opinions and free speech.
Actually, I think it does.
I think that if you're an officer, you should get fired every time you use free speech.
It's supposed to mean that you can't be a little baby, but that's totally what it does mean, is that I'm always little babies.
It means you are a little baby, that's why you sought out this job.
Yeah.
Let me know when you guys are ready.
I just dug up a bunch of my old cop jokes, if you guys want to hear those.
Yeah, nothing actionable, please.
When you say actionable, like don't directly advocate for the murder of police?
Exactly, yeah.
Okay, I can still do a few of them then.
There's a couple I can still do.
Alright, so let's... Okay, this is a pretty good one.
Good cops are hard to find.
Morticians don't like it when you just waltz in looking for them.
But Kim, I have an uncle who's a cop.
I hate my uncle too, bitch.
You ain't special.
Maybe that's better written down.
This is pretty good.
What do trans women have in common with cop wives?
Oh, I like this one.
They'd both do anything to get rid of the useless dick in their life.
Cool, okay, wonderful.
Alright, yeah, you're part of the gang now, Kimberly.
Oh great, did I prove myself?
I think I fucking went overboard trying to do it, but you know, it's better to do too much than too little.
No, we like, you know, show's initiative, you know.
So I'm an official minion death squad commando now?
Yeah, Minion Death Commando.
We're going for more of a Dune reference than a right-wing Death Squad reference.
When we do meet though, we're gonna sock you until you can list five donuts.
Oh, that's easy.
No need to do it right now.
No need to do it right now.
Let's keep going here.
Yeah, I like, yeah, just because he's a police officer doesn't mean he can't have opinions and free speech.
Yeah, it's not like he's a firefighter.
Nice.
Just got fired for speaking truth to power.
That was one of the most amazing things I've ever seen is the local news reading off a firefighter's text who said police are only there to protect rich people and their private property.
Fuck the police.
There's some serious heat on a Miami firefighter and it's got nothing to do with being on the job.
But for what was texted about the tragic shooting death of Miami-Dade police officer Cesar Echeverri, the fireman texting within a group chat, who cares, another dead cop probably against gun control.
They didn't give a blank when kids were dying in that school shooting.
They stood outside.
Cops exist for the government to exercise its monopoly on violence.
They want the whole world to stop when one of theirs goes down.
How many idiots I had to transport with Honor Guard their dead bodies from coronavirus because they all were too stupid to wear masks or get vaccinated.
All cops are good for is protecting the rich property owners and the status quo.
Everything else is a farce.
Expletive the police.
Hell yeah.
Yeah.
I wish that they would pop off and really affect things.
Yeah, for real, for real.
I mean, he only got fired, but you know, he's not dead, but shout out to him.
I'm sorry you got fired.
You know, fucking cancel culture, man.
Okay, Amber Luker Lofton replied to this cop's sob story.
The hat that he's referring to was my 13 year old son's.
He overthrew it and it landed by the officer's feet.
The officer was trying to help out by handing it to Morgan, but Morgan grabbed it and threw it the opposite direction.
So we had no hope of getting it back.
It's a fucking hat.
I don't know why but what absolutely kills me the most about that is the 2k sad reacts on it It's cowboy hats are expensive actually cowboy hats are real expensive Don't throw it by a cop That's, that's rule number one.
I'm like baffled by this.
Why did he, why did you throw it?
Like, like the women who throw their bras on stage, like, are they expecting to get those back?
No, it's because you want to have sex with the person on stage.
You want them to see your boobs.
Like, if you throw your hat on stage, I'm assuming it's just because you want to show part of your head that's not normally visible to, to the artist.
Is it not normal for the performer to throw back your panties after you throw them?
I mean, it depends on how clean they... I guess if they're, like, you know, stinking.
I guess, like, 100% of the time, they throw them back to me.
This is what I was getting at, but... Okay.
Oh, okay.
It's a new data point for me.
Just like you're making sure... Hey, can you make... Make sure she gets these back.
Can you... Pass them back.
Pass them back to... Right there.
Her.
Yeah.
Okay.
Put them back on.
Can you put them back on before we continue?
Okay.
Thank you.
I love that we have another sob story in the comments of this sob story.
Like, I was the one who lost the hat!
Like, oh my god, it was such a beautiful hat and my 13-year-old fucking threw it 50 feet over there, and god, now it's gone.
Yeah, I mean, like, you know when... Go $25,000.
You know, like the super internet-poisoned, like, leftoid-type people.
They, like, internal- everything that happens to them is, like, traumatic or whatever, and that's the stereotype.
I mean, it's- it's- it should be a stereotype on this side, too.
I've said for a long time, like, if it- It's the most trivial, petty things.
Losing a hat.
And they write it like they're the victims of some horrible crime.
You ever see petty crime happen to a conservative person?
They talk about it for like a year.
Yeah, they'll go so far that they pretend they were a Democrat before that petty crime happened.
Just to give their life meaning.
I don't understand.
Like we talked about earlier, it paints them.
It turns them into racists.
They're like, oh, no, my cousin got jumped by some black guys.
Oh, what happened?
Well, my cousin, he kept on calling him the N-word, and then they beat him up.
But they did that.
Go figure.
So now they don't like black people because they beat up my cousin.
That's a thing that is very common, like we talked about earlier.
So, yeah, they're very haunted by their trauma.
No, it's a stereotype about, like, not a political affiliation.
It's a stereotype about people who are online.
Because if you're online posting, you're, like, a narcissist.
That's it.
Exactly.
Yeah, yes, everything that happens to you is going to be a big fucking deal.
A couple more responses here, and then we're going to move on, okay?
Patricia Wright McAnally says, just because you're a famous country star doesn't mean you get to disrespect people, especially law enforcement.
SMH!
After this goes viral, I bet everyone will be saying, Morgan who?
And then side eye emoji.
Three side eye emojis in a row, two exclamation points on that.
Unusual number.
I'm just, I'm sorry, I'm just like really hung up on McAnally.
Yeah, I think that's how that's pronounced.
Like, I actually, I can't, I can't say, I can't think of anything funny to say about it.
Guys, her last name is McAnally.
It's M-C-A-N-A-L-L-Y, which is also the... It's worth saying.
I'm putting an album out.
I was thinking about using it.
They would know exactly who Morgan is though.
No, I know who Morgan is.
He's the cop hater.
If that's your goal, they would know exactly who Morgan is.
This is stupid.
I don't know.
I feel like if you told somebody and they were like, you know, you told somebody, you were like, oh, you're listening to Morgan Wallen.
You know, he was kind of disrespectful to a cop.
Personally, I'd be like, yeah, but he got away with saying the N-word on the livestream.
So, he likes saying the N-word.
Sorry he was disrespectful to your favorite government employee, but he does things that are cooler to me than that is bad.
Are country music stars the only people who are disrespecting the police as something that holds them back?
I feel like every other form of popular music, you know, it's cool if you trash cops.
I would hate to be pigeonholed into that thing.
What happened to fuckin' Outlaw Country and all that shit?
Who do you think they were fuckin' outlaws from, you know?
Johnny Cash, you know what I mean?
You think he liked the police?
No, he did not.
Alright, just putting it out there.
Outlaw Country's been pretty bastardized into this kind of thing now.
But like, yeah, in general, I think that, you know, if you're like an athlete or like just a public figure, yeah, you can't be critical of the police at all.
No.
No matter where you're coming from.
They're the troops.
They're the domestic troops.
I feel like a rapper you're supposed to.
You can't say shit about them.
Last couple responses here are, yeah, um...
yeah another one about uh it's obvious he doesn't respect our leo so whomever puts him on the roster for another year knowing he showed our officers such disrespect should be questioned his loyalty to our town and our ethics money can be made many ways without the disrespect from some young punk who will be forgotten in five years Those who support him, next time you need help, don't call 9-1-1, dot dot.
You don't back them now, so don't need them later, dot dot dot dot.
Well, five years is a good run.
Five years is a sick run as a pop star.
Especially if you're that big.
If you spend your money right, save it up, invest in the right things, yeah, you're good.
Also, gotta do something about this cancel culture, guys.
Yeah, totally.
I think it's funny.
If you're a fan of Morgan Wallen, don't call the police.
What?
It's because he had one bad encounter with one cop and didn't even say anything and apologized to the cop afterwards.
I thought you said throw it.
I love that.
This last one though, it puts a different spin on things.
Robbie Lewis says, comments of a police officer dot dot dot, but no name.
If these are your thoughts, then put your name on them and take credit for them.
Sounds like to me and fake report and hit job by someone that still has an issue with him and wants to destroy his career.
It's probably one of those N words, actually.
That's probably who wrote it.
Probably.
Probably some kid who got sniped by him.
Anonymous firsthand reports that aren't verifiable seems to be a trend of the left and they will always turn out to be false the few times anybody does and digging into them.
What do we do?
I am not a fan of Wallace dot dot dot.
I couldn't tell you a single song he sings or even his correct name.
But I am against these completely unfounded and unverifiable hit pieces.
Bruh.
Alright, there's a lot to unpack in that particular comment right there.
I mean, he's kind of complaining about, you know, the media doing a bad job.
And he calls him Wallace.
I'm just, I don't know why, man.
This comment in particular triggers me.
I used to be a blogger for like this, this super liberal, like, like liberal liberal, you know, like, the annoying kind, like, not like us, you know, but like, back in the day, and under, under, it was during the 2016 election.
Under a hundred percent of my articles, someone would say, seems like a leftist hit job.
The blah blah blah, like the exact same fucking robotic phrasing.
This is... It doesn't matter what it is.
It doesn't, it literally didn't.
I wrote articles, I didn't, sometimes I didn't cover, I'd write articles about like 10 cute sloths that will melt your heart and someone would comment, seems like a leftist hit job.
Which, to be fair, yeah.
George Soros funds sloths, you know?
Figure it out.
Follow the money.
You're glamorizing being lazy.
You're glamorizing being lazy, and that's wrong with work ethic today, because of the leftist sloth pieces.
I like that this cop is basically being treated like a woman coming forward with a sexual assault allegation.
Listen, I don't believe women, alright?
What makes you think I'm gonna believe you?
Yeah, did you get a test kit?
Did you go to the police station?
Did they test your tears immediately after this happened?
- I'm gonna put your name on it so I can come see you to your face. - Yeah, did you get a test kit?
Did you go to the police station?
Did they test your tears immediately after this happened?
Make sure they were real?
Yeah, and then it's just, oh, it must be a leftist.
Making fun of this cop.
Obviously a leftist.
Not even, sorry, not making fun of this cop.
Attacking a country singer who said the N-word.
Must be a leftist.
It's probably just a left guy.
Maybe we should take him a little seriously, though, because now that I'm thinking about it, I would totally do something like this.
I would totally write this fake story.
Come to think of it.
Which fake story?
The one that the cop wrote?
I mean, well, we're working under the assumption that this is a true story.
I mean, it obviously is, since the poor hatless woman commented, or her son's hat, whatever.
I kind of have to believe it was true, because if it were made up, Morgan Wallen would have at least said something bad to the cop.
You know?
Like, if you're going to make a story up, don't make it where the main antagonist in your story apologizes to you.
It's true, plus you'd expect to see the word ligma somewhere, which it is furiously absent from this.
We really don't talk about our comrades in the police force, our leftist cops.
We don't talk about them enough.
It could have been a leftist cop who wanted to do this hit job.
There's so many of them.
You know how when cops, they want to do hit jobs, what they do is they write a scathing article about you, but they post about it.
I mean, they do post about it too, but they usually do something else if they don't like you.
All right.
Moving on.
I've been excited to talk about this for a minute.
I've been collecting conservative pages on Facebook.
Something that, uh, on my alt, on my Facebook alt that I've created just for, like, you know, the worst following, just, just the bad stuff, uh, they've been suggesting me, uh, pagan conservative Facebook pages.
And you might think, like, oh, like, you know, esoteric Nazism or, like, the weird libertarian Satanists, you know, who also dabble in, like, esoteric fascism or whatever.
No, I'm just talking about bog-standard, like, conservative American pride pagans.
Yep.
Hell yeah, brother.
Salt of the earth, freedom-loving pagans.
The big page I wanted to bring to the show today is just called the Pagan Conservative.
You know, short and sweet.
They only have 1,700 likes on Facebook.
The big one is the Pagan Libertarian.
They're a much bigger page.
Not as interesting.
Not as interesting to talk about.
This one I like a lot.
This is the Pagan Conservative.
Just starting with their profile picture, which is like really what hooked me.
Uh, their profile picture is a pentagram, but the filling inside the pentagram is an American flag.
Yeah.
And it looks like it was drawn with colored pencil on a notebook.
Like, somebody took one of those fuckin'- Nah, that'd be too artistic.
Architects' compass, you know, that you draw circles with?
Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes.
And then filled it in with colored pencil.
Red, white, and blue stripes and stars and all that.
It looks like- No, no, what it is is- Yeah.
Is that the- The colored part, the filling of the pentagram, the right side of the pentagram, is being filled with a photo of a picture.
It's a photo of a flag.
I think.
But it's a really low res one.
I don't know.
Really low res.
Looks rough.
I think it's a picture of a wooden flag.
Uh, no, I can literally see it going outside the line.
I can literally see where someone has, like, rubbed the lines too hard with the hand that they're drawing from.
No, I don't think this was digitally made at all.
No, I think it was digitally made, because to me, it screams of, you know, when like old people, God bless them, they're not so good with computers.
So they get their nephew, Jeremy or whoever, to like make them something, you know.
Oh, he made this logo or whatever.
That's what this that's the kind of energy because Jeremy, he's got shit going on.
He's high all the time.
He's chasing girls and living his life.
You know what I mean?
He's not going to do a good job.
Okay, well, agree to disagree.
I think we should just keep talking about this for the length of the rest of the podcast.
But yeah, it's your show, I'll defer to you this time, so go ahead.
Okay.
Above this pentagram, it says, uh, traditional American values.
So I think it's pretty funny regardless of, uh, you know, how the pentagram was made, what, what medium it was in.
I think it's pretty funny to have a fucking American flag inside of, uh, your pentagram.
It looks awful.
It looks like, uh, to me, it looks like a skate shop logo from like 2001 or something.
Like it looks just terrible.
Just completely sickening.
I'm reading here from the About section of the Facebook page.
We can no longer sit by and let the left become the de facto home to anyone who is not married, white, evangelical Christian.
And I would maybe say like your first project might be trying to handle how the right is talking about anyone who's not white or evangelical Christian or not even married.
Like, listen to how the right-wing talks about unmarried people and you'd think that they were part of like globo homo Who is, uh, who is instituting a fascist, uh, you know, quote fascist, they mean like, you know, communist or something like de-genderization, de, uh, de-heterosexualization of America.
Get out of here, heteros.
I mean, they're not wrong.
That is what we're trying to do.
If you're not married, then that's what you're doing.
Yeah.
We want to deport all the unmarrieds, as everyone knows, the leftist agenda.
Yeah, you deport them and they can't even repopulate because they can't get married, you know?
They can't procreate at all.
They're fucked.
Married people are being bred out of existence.
We gotta fucking stop this shit.
Yeah, unmarried people, the only way they can reproduce is by indoctrination.
So that's why they want into the public schools.
Okay, conservatism is not a provincial philosophy.
It is a light in the darkness and the inheritance of all civilized peoples.
Let us build bridges to those who have a stake in keeping America free, prosperous, and strong.
This is just like, I love this pagan, this pagan ideology seeping through all of this.
The time for dividing Americans around theological, ethnic, and even sexual preference lines is over.
It is time for Americans to embrace the strength of the melting pot once more.
And by this I mean pagans, we need to team up with evangelical Christians to rid ourselves of these degenerates.
That's so wild.
Like you said, they're saying all this and not asking at all, like, wait, why wasn't I just factored into the founding of this thing I'm trying to protect?
Yeah, it must be the left.
The left made us look bad to the conservatives, and that's why we think we're fit for the grave.
Well, people just don't talk about how the founding fathers were all queer pagans.
Yeah, definitely.
Queer pagans, but queer pagans.
Yeah, well, they respected property rights.
That's a big difference.
It's a different time, you know?
So sexuality was woke, of course, but race matters.
They were very far behind.
So this Facebook page, if you're wondering, you know, I need to hear more, you know, I would love to hear more about your program, about your political philosophy, being a pagan conservative, something I, wow, couldn't have even imagined existed outside of like, Yeah, I don't know.
If you fucking own a store, if you own a pagan store, I imagine you're somewhat conservative.
You know what I mean?
It's funny to be like, we need to fight back against the liberalism of paganism.
It's only become more right-wing since its inception, since its popularity.
You know what I mean?
It's only become more commercialized and established in the last 20, 30 years.
You know, you might have the same social values as liberals, but I guarantee you those people are concerned about taxes and who's living in their neighborhood.
Oh, absolutely.
And they've figured out how to use all this stuff as, like, you know, a dog whistle, too.
A lot of this, like, pagan, you know, imagery and stuff.
They've figured out how to use that stuff as a dog whistle, too, to kind of signify to other people, like, oh, like, we're traditional.
Yeah, this is like somebody who's never listened to black metal, I guess.
Doesn't even know that black metal exists.
Yeah.
Because there's no, there's no even, like, references to fucking, like, Mayhem or any of that shit.
Yeah, I was gonna say, like...
You know, this isn't a groundbreaking concept, guys.
This has kind of been out there.
Yeah, there's some pretty solid, you know, conservative pagan stuff out there you can go in and already get.
There's some pretty good stuff.
That's why this is so funny to me, because it's just like the dorkiest way to be a rebellious conservative.
This is like TPUSA.
Like, the real rebels are the ones who choose not to have premarital sex.
I'm pretty sure that the lady who owns the crystal shop down the street from me voted for Trump.
It's been a thing for a minute.
So it's interesting to hear what's so different about this conservative pagan.
And they have a blog, they link to a blog here that's paganconservative.net that's been in fucking operation since 2010 and it's only been recently active again and this post here is from 2013 and it's modern paganism and conservative thought.
I'm writing this from the perspective of a Wiccan, Pagan, and yes, as a conservative.
Don't jump on your brooms, ladies.
Hear me out.
I hold no contempt towards liberal pagans or liberals in general, though I tend to disagree with some of their policies and ideologies.
If you're going to email me, please be intelligent or you won't expect a response from me at all.
American conservative thought is often believed to be opposite to modern pagan philosophy.
And I often hear that being a conservative pagan is an oxymoron or is un-pagan.
To be a conservative while also being a pagan is considered taboo and is often shunned in many American pagan circles.
For if you are to identify as a pagan, then you must adopt liberal ideologies that include enthusiastic environmentalism Inclusiveness and toleration of all ideas and viewpoints and disdain for the government and big corporations.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
They're saying.
Man, they fucking changed their shit so much.
So wait, so this is 2013.
Yeah.
Were the liberals hated government and at that time or unsure?
President Obama.
Yeah, I don't think so.
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm lost.
My favorite thing is when they're like, listen, people think that just because I'm a Wiccan pig and things don't care about nature.
Listen, I tolerate nature.
That's required by my religion.
I'm not an enthusiastic defender of it by any means.
Yeah, I mean, I like trees.
They're fine, but also like, you know, fuck them.
Well, we get more into that.
She explains exactly what she means, how she differentiates from liberals when it comes to the environment.
Yeah, it's all mixed up a little bit here.
If you're a liberal, you must have disdain for the government and big corporations.
And it's like, well no, liberals loved big government in 2012, or 2013, they liked it a lot.
Second of all, big corporations, you're not supposed to say you like big corporations as like a traditional conservative.
That's like...
Yeah, but it is assumed that if you are a pagan, then you are also a raging liberal.
Yeah, you've written that like seven times.
But today, ironically, we're breaking tradition.
American conservative thought does have its place in modern paganism, and its ideologies and beliefs are in fair accordance with pagan philosophies.
Traditional conservatism emphasizes the power of state governments and the limited power of the federal government, supports a free market economy, lower taxes, civil rights, and individual liberties, a humble foreign policy, and advocates self-responsibility.
Of course, being pagans, there is a rather a pagan spin in addition to the last sentence which includes Concern for the environment, civic virtue, support for same-sex marriages, and a pro-life stance.
See?
We're not so bad after all.
And maybe one of those things, like, seems different.
But I think maybe they think like, oh, no, to protect the environment, I'm gonna buy as much land as possible.
That's one way to do it, sure.
Like Andy talked about, when he was on campus, they were trying to save the forest by buying all the trees.
I love, yeah, we have civic virtue, support for the environment, support for same-sex marriages, and pro-life.
And we're pro-life, too.
What did you know?
Yeah, so actually, you know, I'm thinking about it.
I think it actually makes sense for, forget conservative pagans, all pagans to be pro-life, now that I'm really getting my head around it.
I mean, okay, so I don't know a lot about paganism or Wicca, so forgive my ignorance, but I'm pretty sure it involves some light baby sacrifice, so you'd want them to be born How are you going to eat the baby if it's not alive?
Then you have more babies to work with.
No, see the thing is, it's not about the baby, it's about the placenta.
And like, that's why we need to have, that's why they're pro-life.
Because you can't really have a placenta without a baby.
It doesn't really matter what you do with the baby afterwards.
You can toss the baby, the placenta.
Yeah, yeah.
That's good even.
So, yeah, okay.
For the pagan ritual, so, yeah.
Yeah, so she says they're pro-life as if that's like a liberal thing.
I'm not sure why.
See, we're not so bad after all.
As a Wiccan, these values are in fine accordance with my spiritual values.
It was fair accordance before, now it's fine accordance.
With my spiritual values, which support and advocate liberty, justice, duty, fair rule, and strength.
In fact, many, if not all, modern American pagan religions are rooted in traditional conservative values and classical liberal parentheses, which is not to be confused with today's neoliberalism in parentheses values, which aren't too far from traditional conservatism anyway, although there is a strong neoliberal presence within today's communities too.
Because a pagan is conservative does not mean that he or she does not care about the poor, corrupt businesses, environmental issues, women's rights, etc.
These are common misconceptions and stereotypes, more often than not, perpetuated by the far-left media.
I give and do what I can for the less fortunate, but I believe it is first the individual's responsibility to help themselves before thrown into the hands of the government.
And I would say, yeah, somebody has to be poor.
Somebody has to have lost the battle of providing for themselves before the government steps in.
You're not automatically born on the dole.
Although, let's talk about it.
See, this is all news to you because you didn't get to sit in at their talk at Anarcho Forco.
They did a great talk at Anarcho Forko about being a conservative pagan.
They basically said all this, so I've already heard all this in their talk.
Oh cool.
Well thank you for acting surprised.
Thank you for keeping your game face on as I read all this.
I got you, I got you.
But they would eat up Anarcho Pogo and Anarcho Forko, right?
These people?
Yeah, it's funny because I was going to say, if anybody's interested in something more like woo-woo conservatism, we're talking about it a lot right now on the bonus feed with HBO's The Anarchists.
That's how they prove their femininity, is by talking about shamanism.
That's how they offer the feminine side of anarchism, is they sit around in a circle and talk about shamanism and paganism.
Yeah, I believe it is first the individual's responsibility to help themselves before thrown into the hands of the go- Like, it's like a nonsense statement.
Well, first you have to help yourself.
Well, what if they can't help themselves?
Then are they allowed to have support by the collective, you know?
I care for sacred land and the goddess.
I don't litter, I clean up trash when I see it, and I'm all for conservation.
The land is our home and I do believe it to be sacred.
So like our own homes and sacred places, we should work to preserve and keep clean the natural landscape.
However, I'm not convinced global warming is an prospective apocalyptic disaster caused entirely by humans, nor am I willing to radically change my lifestyle to live, quote, green.
What?
Not even like a little bit is what it sounds like.
Like that's what it sounds like.
I'm not even going to fucking try.
Fuck that.
I love like, listen, I like nature.
I'll fucking like pick up a piece of trash if I drop it or whatever.
I'm not going to save the whole thing.
Are you fucking kidding me?
Yeah, no way.
Honestly, why would wood burn if it didn't want to?
Yeah, the creator made wood flammable for a reason.
My favorite line ever is coming up.
It's the next line.
Yeah, oh, this is a great one.
It's bars, by the way.
It rhymes.
She threw a little rhyme in there.
Women's rights?
All the way.
Abortion?
No way.
Damn, that hits.
Yeah.
I have a respect for life and hold it with a certain sanctity.
So if you're against abortion, don't have one.
I do not have to agree with it, but that is the way it is.
So.
I think she's confused about the terms pro-life and pro-choice.
Because right here it sounds like she's saying.
I have the choice to not have an abortion, so I'm not going to have one.
I don't agree with it, but I'm not going to eliminate that choice.
Yeah, that's the pro-choice stance.
It's the pro-choice stance.
She literally is describing... Wait, is this a she?
Yeah, I think it's a she.
I think she thinks pro-life means pro-choice.
If that makes sense.
It's what we call the impossible sausage dilemma.
They believe that because the impossible sausage exists, it's being forced down your throat.
And that you can go ahead and eat the impossible sausage, but I will not eat the impossible sausage.
That's how I'm opposed to it.
It's a pretty famous predicament.
Yeah, but I think she doesn't want to, like, ban the impossible sausage.
That's kind of what it sounds like here.
It sounds like she's got a more open mind than most of the people talking about vegan meats we have on the show.
To be fair to this person, I've heard other people say the same thing who vote for, like, the pro-life candidates or whatever.
They're like, I'm personally against it.
You know, I would never get one.
It's your choice if you want to get one.
Yeah.
Yeah, just that they don't... It doesn't click with them somehow.
I don't know.
See, for me, we have a longer article about being pro-life.
Not a longer article.
It's much shorter than the one I'm reading right now.
But a longer, like, segment about being pro-life in a post on this blog called Pro-Life Pagan.
And they've done another graphic for this one.
This time it's a pentagram, but it's pink and it's cradling a fetus inside the pentagram.
Well yeah, see that's what I was getting at earlier.
But it does kind of look like they're just performing a ritual and placed a fetus in the center of the floor on the pentagram.
I gotta see the photos.
If you use the umbilical cord to make the circle in the pentagram and put a baby in the middle of it, like, something's going to happen.
No fucking way, dude.
People have heard me talk about this before, but my old Rock for Life shirt that I used to have with the baby playing the guitar, the fetus playing the guitar, this is almost as good as that.
You know what this looks like?
They used the fucking spray paint tool in MS Paint.
It looks like a worse version.
It looks like that Rush album cover, but it's a fetus instead of a man.
I love how it's just subtly off-center.
There's so much to love about this.
Well, it looks like he's resting in two of the lines like a cradle.
I think that's kind of how they did it.
He's kicking back.
He's lounging in that little triangle they made.
Yeah.
It rules.
Everyone knows that's how a womb is shaped.
Babies come out looking like stars when they're first born.
This post about being a pro-life pagan, it just copied and pasted a law called Stop Predators Act.
And it's just about making secret abortions from minors illegal.
Abortion providers have to get parental consent.
Or notify parents if their child comes in for an abortion or whatever.
And this is like common anti-abortion, anti-abortion legislation, at least common before, you know, the Supreme Court opened up the door to just ban it outright.
They don't need to do this shit anymore.
But yeah, it was another hurdle that, you know, girls had to jump through to get an abortion.
And it was under the pretense that, oh, well, it allows the
rapist or the uh assaulter to eliminate the evidence of their crime by getting an abortion uh for you know their for their victim essentially um and it's like well when it comes to like underage people being sexually assaulted like i mean i'm pretty sure one of the common perpetrators of that is their parents
So how is notifying the parent, you know, anyway, I don't have to like, well, actually any of this shit because it's obviously fraudulent on the face of it.
That's not the interesting part.
The interesting part is where she's, whoever posted this wrote, an abortion happens in the U.S.
every minute.
The blood on the hands of the doctors and the midwives is upon us all.
As pagans, we hate having blood on our hands.
Yeah, it's not a pagan vibe at all.
Especially not baby blood.
This whole thing is just them advocating to just do abortions outside, like over soil.
That's really what they're mad about.
That's what it's about.
They're like, you're wasting the blood.
The blood is on our hands and not in the soil.
You're supposed to put it in your gardens, people.
Come on.
That's what I'm saying.
I wish they'd come out and just say that instead of all this politically correct nonsense about it being life is precious and everything.
Just say you want to, you know, you want to sacrifice a baby and you need it to be born first because it doesn't work as well if it's a fetus.
Like life is precious or whatever.
You know, I do value life.
I think life is good and cool.
Kind of trying to aim in that direction, promote the promotion of life.
I would think, like, if you're a pagan or a Wiccan or, like, a practicing occultist or anything, your default wouldn't be, like, life is precious or, like, the order of the universe is, uh, is unbendable or is, you know, you're not, like, all of it, you're not supposed to interact with any of it.
It's like, I don't know, isn't part of being a witch or a Wiccan or a pagan the fact that you can, like, meddle in this shit?
Like you can take life and twist it to your own design?
100% of Wiccans I know have either cursed someone or offered to curse someone on my behalf.
It's great.
It feels like it's more of a Christian thing to be like, oh no, only God can affect the world.
Only God has a view, has the ultimate view of life or the ultimate opinion of life.
And that's why it's sacred is because it's God's domain.
Whereas like if you're a pagan or whatever, you're like, no, this is my shit.
Like it's, it's not life isn't sacred.
Life is for me to do with what I want.
Yeah.
Maybe that's a reductive take on pagans.
I don't know.
I don't know any pagans.
But, um... The Amer- Okay, this goes on.
The Amerindians, so like American Indians, said that women would have trouble birthing babies and become pregnant when mankind landed on the moon.
They also said that our country is in so much trouble because we have lost the ceremonies which heal us and bring dignity to Mother Earth.
I think the American Indians are probably, like, more upset about something that happened a little before us landing on the moon.
Maybe there might have been a bigger violation of humanity than our space program in 1966.
After smallpox, they were like, that's it, one more thing.
If anybody lands on that fucking moon, that'll be it.
Yeah, I wonder how these pagans feel about the Land Back movement.
I wonder what these conservative pagans feel about that.
Well, you can't like own property, man, if you're an American Indian, man.
They also said that our country is in so much trouble because we have lost the ceremonies which heal us and bring dignity to Mother Earth.
By extension, fertile women like Mother Earth are in trouble by our loss for reverence for the child-bearing ceremony.
How can we wonder that so many parents are infertile and births are problematic when millions of fetuses are being aborted all around us?
Are our babies afraid to come to us when our culture is so irreverent of life?
Yeah, there's an abortion happening just around every corner.
I'm afraid to look in my closet at night, because there could be an abortion happening in there.
If you live in a red state, you know, you live in a state that's got onerous restrictions on abortion or whatever, what you do is you take the mother, the person who's pregnant, you take them and you go watch a film about abortion, and you just put the speakers up really close to the stomach, You're going to scare the shit out of that fetus.
That fetus is probably not even going to want to have anything to do with this place.
Anxiety, right at the very moment it's coming into the world.
I think that's important.
No, well it won't come into the world, is what I'm saying.
Oh, so you're saying before you abort it, you basically say, you know, you play a film that says, Well, according to this blog post, because of abortion, that's why women are having complicated pregnancies and that's why they're not having births.
This says birthing ceremony as well.
This makes sense though.
Because they're talking about what the world they're coming into is like, and the kids are just refusing to come into the world, right?
They're scared of it, right?
They're talking about the rising mortality rates, maternal mortality rates, right?
And if you look at it historically, the mortality rates of children being born to black women were Have been like astronomically like terrible as long as America has been in existence.
So maybe they're on to something.
Maybe they're on maybe the rest of the world starting to reflect how America has been for black people the entire time.
Maybe that's what's happening.
It makes some sense because I don't think I don't think they're saying Mother Nature is that big of a hater.
Mother Nature is just like blocking.
I'm like, are you going to be mean to me?
I'm just going to let your babies be born.
Yeah, I mean there's lots of reasons.
These babies are afraid.
They're afraid to be born.
You got that pro-choice sticker on your car.
What baby is going to want to take a chance with you?
Just not even do the whole thing, I think.
I love the idea of a pro-life pagan because You know, again, I'm not a pagan.
I didn't study any of this shit.
Just going off common sense here.
Just, you know, my horse sense.
I have a feeling that paganism and Wicca and stuff, like, came into existence because of women trying to get abortions.
I have a big feeling that, like, the origin of paganism is figuring out which weeds you can eat to have an abortion.
I feel like that's a big part of it.
There's probably some origin story there.
No, there's a last line from the first blog post that I was reading just about pagan conservatism that I really wanted to read and then I think we're gonna wrap it up.
Personally, I don't see the neoliberalism that pervades modern pagan religions as very impressive and at times even accord with traditional Even in accord with traditional pagan values.
It promotes the emphasis of the individual over the community.
And when looking back at ancient Semeri-Wicca society, it wasn't about me and mine, but us and ours.
And that is one thing I've noticed about neoliberalism, is that it's too much about individualism, unlike outright conservatism, which is about community.
It's not about individualism or me and mine.
You gotta go even farther right than neoliberalism to get your community back.
Famously, famously.
See, the reason why you start a small business is so that you can give back to your community by underpaying teens to overwork.
Yeah, this is this is our small business and by that I mean I put your name on it so I could get a I used that 164th Choctaw blood you got in your in your bones for this small business.
I feel like neocons are about community too though to be fair.
Go on.
Big movers and shakers in the drone community.
Big movers and shakers in the The oil industry?
I mean it's just a different set of people.
But the Dick Cheney community would not be where it is today without the neocons.
So I'm just throwing that out there.
While it's okay to abort an unborn child, it is completely unacceptable to chop down a tree.
It's a promotion of quote universalism and all-inclusiveness has led to the watering down of cultural traditions and careless eclecticism to say that being a conservative pagan is an oxymoron is not only idiotic but just plain ignorant.
The modern pagan movement is such a diverse movement and is often known for its freedom of expression and liberating philosophies.
But if you're right-wing, it can be a much different world.
We're Americans.
We're pagans.
We're conservatives.
And we vote.
Parentheses.
And if you don't, then you should start.
May the Diwa'u and Undiwa'i, parenthesis, gods and un-gods, bless this fine country, its citizens, its leaders, and its troops overseas.
I think that's beautiful, and I think that we should remind people that in pagan tradition, a contract, like voting, does not count unless you set it on fire.
So after you fill out your ballot, remember to set it on fire and place those ashes in the envelope.
It needs to count.
They'll count it.
I love, I love just being like, uh, we're pagan conservatives, and what that means is, uh, instead of saying, God bless the troops, uh, we say, uh, do we-ah-oh bless the troops?
Yeah, yeah.
I'd love to see that at, like, I'd love to see that at, like, the RNC or something.
You know, someone gets up there and says, the O'ahu praise, bless this country.
You know what I mean?
I think that would go over really well.
Yeah, they'd be like, uh, didn't we already ban the log cabin Republicans?
What are you doing here?
To just, like, think they're gay.
You know?
Yeah.
Well, yeah.
I would stand, I would stand if a pagan was singing the national anthem.
I would maybe stand to hear that version.
Oh, yeah, for sure.
Cool.
Yeah, so that's what pagan conservatism has to offer you.
It's almost just like exactly normal conservatism.
So yeah, it's cool.
Thank you so much, Kimberly, for joining us.
Why don't you tell people where they can find your stuff?
Uh, sure.
Well, uh, you can find me at paganconservative.net.
I'm a contributor there.
Oh, fuck!
Oh, God!
Been at it since 2013.
Still going strong.
New blogs every- Oh, boy.
Every Jwals day, which is a pagan, uh, day of the week.
We have a different calendar.
You can learn all about it over there.
Yeah, check that out.
When you get bored of that, you can go to Instagram at Bertrand Media.
If you're, you know, the type who still uses Facebook, which there are lots of us, there's like 10, 13 of us still on there, so you can hit me up on Facebook.com slash Bertrand Media as well.
And you buy a box set Copy of the first season of Lost, Episode One, Pilot.
Look for me there as well.
You know, it's only certain releases of that ever came out.
So, you know, you just got to make sure you did.
You might have to buy several box sets before you find the right one.
Yeah, that's how I'm actually going to promote this episode, is I'm going to get a screenshot of your scene in Lost, which is going to be a dead body, kind of blurry, out of focus, and then it's going to say, Minion Death Cult, episode, you know, 397.
Yeah, that'll be it.
And remember, it's dead body number four.
So it'd be the fourth, roughly the fourth one that you see.
All right, well, thanks again for joining us.
Bertrand Media on Instagram and Facebook.
If you want to support this show and you want to get a bonus episode every single week and you want, you desperately need to hear our coverage of the HBO documentary, The anarchists, about right-wing anarchists, who are just capitalists, they're just libertarians, but they're calling themselves anarchists because they think it's cooler.
Going to Mexico, going to Acapulco, trying to live there as permanent tourists and then dying.
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P-A-T-R-E-O-N.com slash MinionDeathCult.
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Episode four, our coverage of episode four is coming out probably tomorrow.
Very excited to talk about that one.
That's my new favorite episode in the series so far.
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I think there's only five episodes.
So eager to have some completion on that.
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Bye.
Peace.
Appreciate you.
As I awake in the darkness and I look around There's no sound It's so tranquil It's so calm like you But now I hear a noise Is there any way out of this nightmare?
I'm alone now And you're laughing at me But I take life In a way that you could never see So if you're leaving You better let me know
Cause I've already started my plan And I'm never gonna let you go, no, no I thought I've lived on the dark side of the moon And I've been to the heart of the sun I've gone to bed with many ladies Killed many a man Before my 16th year was done Some say I'm an African Lucifer.
