I wish the kid in the photo was my child. He would be handed over to law enforcement (fixed)
This week we cover the right wing's ongoing war with the FBI and investigate how conservatives are reacting to one of their foot soldier's Truth Social posts Also, teens throw a party in the $8m mansion of an oil executive, so you know what that means: civil war time Listen to the newest episode of Butt Fest 2000 at https://www.streetfightradio.com/ or wherever you get podcasts Support them on Patreon to get access to the whole series, including other miniseries like Shocktober, Holy Boyz, and I'm Sorry. Support Minion Death Cult at http://patreon.com/miniondeathcult and get a bonus episode every week as well as instant access to hundreds of hours of previous bonus episodes. Music: Boris - Blah Blah Blah
The liberals are destroying California, and conservative humor gone awry... Conservative humor gone awry is going to fascistphonia today, so stay tuned.
We're going to take a few pictures of the desert and how their policies are actually messing it up.
It's not beautiful when you go across that border.
Stay tuned guys.
We'll show you exactly what it looks like when you're going to get yourself.
Oh, they're in Bartholstein.
Stay tuned.
Okay, I'm Alexander Edward.
And I'm Tony Boswell.
And we're Minion Death Cult.
The world is ending.
A disgusting, illegal, highly problematic house party at a mansion is responsible.
And we're documenting it.
What's up, everybody?
It's your show for the week.
Thank you so much for tuning in, as always.
Right off the top, I wanna say that I do a little mini-series with Brian of Street Fight Radio called ButtFest 2000.
We've done around six or seven episodes, and the most recent episode- All heat, they're all so good.
Yeah, I think so, too.
Not even just the one I'm on.
They're all great.
It's a mini-series exploring the various sub-genres of butt-rock, what we think butt-rock is, what's best about butt-rock, what's worst about it, and the political leanings of a lot of these butt-rock bands and how that ties into their music and lyrics.
And the most recent episode we did, well, it's available for free on Street Fight Radio's main feed.
And I was so excited to do that episode because I finally got to read from Ivan L. Moody, singer of Five Finger Death Punch, his new book of poetry.
Amazing.
I literally haven't listened to this episode yet because I haven't been able to have like podcast listening time not around people.
Oh, you want to be like sequestered away from society when you hear some of this shit.
You want to be like locked in a room with very little stimulite.
Like, I mean, let's be honest, some padded walls wouldn't hurt either.
Like, I know that I'm gonna accidentally listen to it in the car, and, like, my windows are gonna be down, and it's gonna be you earnestly reading poems by the Five Finger Death Punch Guy.
Yeah, this book is called Dirty Poetry from the Contagiously Contorted and Quixotically Twisted Mind of Ivan L. Moody.
Just to give you a little taste of what we're dealing with here.
And I haven't asked, you know, maybe you could tell me if you want, listeners.
I feel self-conscious.
Pronouncing Quixotically?
Because I know it's like Don Quixote.
But is it Quixotic or Quixotic?
I don't know.
I've never known that.
But anyway, I want people to know that I thought about it.
You don't have to know.
You don't have to know.
You never have to say that unless you're reading this book.
Like, you never have to say that out loud unless you're reading this book out loud.
Yeah.
We released that.
Brian released that on the Street Fight main feed last week.
If you listened to this, This newest episode of ButtFest 2000, and you like what you hear, there's a whole mini-series waiting for you over at their Patreon, patreon.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.
Celebrities making apologies.
I did the Kramer episode.
Dude, you did the Kramer episode and also on that episode was the front man of As I Lay Dying apologizing for trying to have his wife murdered.
Dude, I went to the grocery store early this morning because I was like going to make lunch and I didn't have any bread left and I was so mad because I was going to be on time for work for once and So I went to the grocery store by us and it didn't open till eight so I was sitting out front for five minutes and the old Mexican dude that was out there with me was wearing a fucking As I Lay Dying shirt.
Fuck yeah.
Tucked into his jeans with like an alligator skin belt on.
I was like oh man he kind of pulls it off.
Do you think that's one of those like when you were a kid and like you saw a dad wearing a circa shirt it's like oh you're just wearing your son's shirt?
Yeah, I was about to go up to him and I was like, excuse me sir, you may not be aware, the lead singer of that band is a very bad man.
Yeah, he kind of sucks.
Yeah.
He's like, no, that's actually how we met.
We met in a support group for people who try to get their wives murdered.
But yeah, but back to the Street Fight Patreon, one of the best things about this show that we've been able to do is kind of create this little community of people.
And that community in this show wouldn't be possible if it wasn't for the community that Street Fight has created.
They do amazing work.
They big up the best.
And they're like the most supportive, amazing people.
Ever.
We owe a lot to Street Fight.
They are the OG left podcast.
Yeah, they definitely are worthy of your Patreon dollars, and they give you more than you're paying for, for sure.
In a good way.
For more music talk, we also did a mini-series.
We were also on an episode of one of those mini-series called, what, 10,000 Million Tons of Steel?
Yeah, yeah.
About various sub-genres of metal.
I think we were on the Doom Metal episode.
Get it?
Heavy metal?
You get it?
Mm-hmm.
Uh, yeah.
So, uh, patreon.com slash streetfightradio.
Go overthrow those boys five bucks a month.
On our Patreon, uh, most recently, we are, we are neck deep in the Anarchists Anarcho-Capitalist miniseries on HBO, uh, episode two.
Just one of my favorite episodes of television, uh, period.
Uh, if you've heard the clip you might know why.
There's an amazing man in that show who is possibly the most Facebook man we've ever seen, we've ever encountered.
He's a lone wolf operator, army veteran with PTSD who is tasked with defending a Bitcoin ATM with his life and takes that task very seriously.
Did you see the Xavier renegade angel meme?
No, but I love that.
Yeah, I think it was Doug.
Somebody said, or Doug said, that Doug from the Facebook group said that everything that Paul says could be a Xavier renegade angel quote.
And it was like, and he made the meme, and it's Xavier, and it says, I'm a beast born in the dying empire.
I'm a beast born in the paradigm of a dying empire.
I'm an obsolete tool that is crucial for the passage of man.
I will not hesitate to crush your skull.
I'm a baby birthed in the blood and sweat of a corpse drenched in oil.
You know the type, you know the type.
Yeah, so very fun stuff going on over at our Patreon, patreon.com slash MinionDeathCult.
Help us do this show, get some amazing content for it.
And let's be real, I mean like the pandemic's over, everything's good, the economy's good, there's no excuses.
Sign up for all the Patreons.
Yeah, you're back to work now.
Oh, I don't want to hear anymore.
Probably.
You're definitely not getting time off for COVID, that's for damn sure.
Yeah.
You're back to work now, probably.
You need something to dull that experience.
You need something to, uh, help you forget.
And if you don't have access to, uh, prescribed medicine, like, uh, heavy-duty drugs, which if you're in the U.S., you probably don't, might as well get that Patron.
It's just as good.
Yeah, yeah.
I think that getting a Patreon is akin to, like, getting BetterHelp instead of RealTherapy.
Just get the Patreon instead of, like, actual meds.
Yeah, I think it's definitely more ethical to give us money than BetterHelp.
It's similar to, like, Adderall, but audio form.
So it's like your little audio Adderall.
Just like BetterHelp, as you know.
Your text message therapist.
Yeah, okay.
Well, on to the show today.
In a bit of a follow-up from our last emergency broadcast about the civil war, the incoming civil war from Trump supporters because the FBI took some boxes out of his house, out of one of his houses.
A guy did it.
All that stuff we said the guys were gonna do, we reported on them saying they were gonna do it, One guy actually did it in spectacular fashion.
I am waiting for this to happen where we did read their comment before.
Where there's like, we're like, read their comment like, oh, oh shit.
Okay.
All right.
That's like, that's going to happen eventually.
Like a listener would have to tell us because I would never remember any of these people.
There's so many of them.
Very true.
I feel like the FBI myself, you know, combing through a haystack.
Okay, so I have an article here from the Washington Examiner.
The headline is, FBI field office attacker telegraphed his failed siege from his Truth Social account.
I like the way they used siege in there because that's, you know, what a lot of MAGA supporters were saying the FBI was doing to Trump.
I think Trump said himself that Mar-a-Lago was under siege.
So it's pretty funny that a Trump supporter tried to do a siege.
Hey, you're gonna siege him?
I'm gonna siege you back twice as hard.
And then he just got killed.
See, I thought that a siege had to happen on, like, a boat or something or a train.
Because, like, that's what under siege happened on.
I think it happened on a boat and a plane and a train.
I thought it had to be, like, a vehicle.
So I thought they were misusing the word.
Because, you know, as a big Seagull head, I thought that that's what that was about.
But it turns out you can siege Mar-a-Lago, you can siege the FBI.
Which is good to know.
Yeah.
Okay, reading here.
The armed man who attempted to assault the FBI's field office in Cincinnati on Thursday telegraphed the attack on his Truth Social account.
And if you're not familiar, Truth Social is the like Donald Trump branded social media network.
And this is a post from Truth Social.
Well, I thought I had a way through the bulletproof glass and I didn't.
If you don't hear from me, I tried attacking the FBI.
Ricky Schiffer, 42, posted on the nascent social media network Thursday after he fled the FBI field office and was engaged in a standoff with law enforcement officers off a highway about 35 miles away from the FBI's Cincinnati field office.
I love this because I see people like document and post their trauma in real time.
And I'm always like, what makes you decide to do that?
I know this guy was like mid, mid terrorist attack, like mid and was like, I gotta get, I gotta, it's gotta let people know what's good and posted.
Like posting before everything.
I love that.
You know, some people might disagree with me.
Some people might say the exact opposite of this.
I think it shows a degree of lucidity that he took some time and was like, well, I tried guys.
Sorry, I'm probably going to die.
Like a lot of people would say, oh, he's a kook.
He was posting, he was posting while trying to kill the FBI.
I would say, yeah, this is like, he's, he's a documentarian at this point.
Yeah, yeah, you're not wrong there.
You're not wrong there.
He kinda had, maybe had like a moment of, you know, rationalization.
It was like, oh, I gotta, okay, yeah, I gotta let people know what happened here.
Yeah.
Hey, everybody.
This is the most normal thing he did, actually.
This was not a false flag attack.
This is me.
I'm of sound mind and body saying that, yes, I tried to breach an FBI office with a nail gun.
Thought it would work.
It didn't.
So, oops, my bad.
See you later, or not.
And that was the plan, that's what he meant, right?
He thought he could go through the bulletproof glass with a nail gun?
Is that what you're saying?
That was what the nail gun was for.
It was for cracking through the bulletproof glass.
I don't know, maybe he probably saw that on TikTok or something.
Schiffer, who was wearing body armor during the attack, was shot and killed by officers after he raised his AR-15-style rifle during the five-hour standoff.
Schiffer's profile on Truth Social, the social media site launched in February by former President Donald Trump, was removed from the platform on Thursday afternoon.
So they said, well, get back to us when you're not such a failure, all right?
You succeed.
That's what it was.
You actually succeed in breaching the FBI office, then we'll let you hang out.
It has nothing to do with, like, posting inflammatory things.
It has everything to do with just, like, being... You're being shamed.
You're being a loser.
You're being exiled.
You're a loser.
You made us look bad.
You're gone.
Bye-bye.
Sorry.
Only winners get to be on here, and definitely not people who, like, die in the shoot-off.
That's kind of like a prisoner of war, right?
Yeah, this is like the dystopian, um, the actual real-life dystopian version of, you know, Fury Road.
Mm-hmm.
Instead of... Man, what's the guy's name in Fury Road?
It's not Lord Humongous.
That's, uh... Um, anyway, instead of him saying, mediocre, it's just Donald Trump saying, bye-bye, and he cancels your account.
You will not be witnessed.
No one's going to witness you.
That's why we have a live stream feature.
We have a live stream feature so you can be witnessed and you do not use it.
The attack followed the FBI's court-approved raid of Trump's home at Mar-a-Lago in Florida, which was reportedly to retrieve classified materials from the former president took from the White House after he left office.
Schiffer foreshadowed his attack on the FBI's field office in multiple posts shortly after news broke of the raid on Mar-a-Lago.
Quote, People, this is it.
I hope a call to arms comes from someone better qualified, but if not, this is your call to arms from me, he wrote.
They have been conditioning us to accept tyranny and I think we can't do and think we can't do anything for two years.
This time we must respond with force.
And apparently this is broken by front of the show Travis View of the QAnon Anonymous podcast so because his tweet is embedded in this article.
Yeah.
I'll read his tweet.
The New York Times has identified the Ohio shooting suspect as Ricky Schiffer.
There is a Truth Social account using that same name.
On the same day the FBI executed a warrant on Mar-a-Lago, the account made a call to quote be ready for combat and to quote kill the FBI on site.
Man, we need to get into like the real reporting stuff because you can just like tweet out kill the FBI on site.
But you just put it in quotes.
Yeah, put it in quotes.
Man, you can get a lot of stuff as a journalist.
That's wild.
Yeah, and then somebody replied to this in the screenshot that Travis grabbed.
Somebody replied to this.
Troy Meister replied, are you proposing terrorism?
And Ricky replies, very important question.
No.
I am proposing war.
Duh, idiot.
Civil war time.
It's different.
What the fuck did you think?
Be ready to- Are you not listening to this show?
Be ready to kill the enemy.
Not mass shootings where leftists go.
You know, all those leftist mass shootings.
Not lighting buses on fire with transsexuals in them.
Not finding people with leftist signs in their yards and beating them up.
Violence is not parenthesis all terrorism.
Kill the FBI on sight and be ready to take down other active enemies of the people and those who try to prevent you from doing it.
So he was saying don't do those other things, right?
Yeah, he was saying those are leftist things.
That's good.
Yeah, it's leftist to shoot into a crowd.
And it's funny because... At least he's not advocating for that.
Yeah, I'm sure people are gonna listen to him, too.
It's funny, the only reason he says that those are leftists who do that shit is because of, like, Oh no, actually, that guy was a leftist.
It was a false flag.
It was a leftist doing it.
Yeah.
wing like incel dude as a leftist oh no actually that guy was a leftist it was a false flag it was a leftist doing it buddy ricky what do you think they're saying about you yeah yeah why don't you why don't you search your imagination think about what uh what people are saying about you now for trying to get into the fbi with a nail gun that that would suck because you know ricky's like uh
No, I left plenty of evidence that I'm not one of those people.
And all those people are like, wow, I can't believe you did such a good job trying to make us think he really was that.
They really left a good trail here.
Yeah, I mean, I learned from Minority Report what that's called.
It's called an orgy of evidence, all right?
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
Disgusting.
Yeah, it's meant to, what do you call it, to trick you.
Oh, look at all these posts calling for civil war that every single conservative has done for the last 12 years.
Yeah, pretty convenient.
Yeah, they better hope they don't make that explicitly against the law because, ugh.
One, how many episodes now?
This one's so good.
Schiffer said he would continue to support violence against the FBI even if Trump called for peace.
Quote, I expect Donald Trump to call for peace.
Donald Trump was my hero just a year ago.
God, such a fucking loser, man.
Don't say that shit.
A year ago?
Yeah.
Don't say that he's your hero, bro.
Say you admire him or say, like, he's a great man.
Don't say he's your hero.
That's like a, it's like a child's thing to say.
But that is what they say, they say hero a lot.
It's weird, it's so fucking weird.
They have his shirts in with their comic book shirts.
I just wouldn't say it.
It's the same to them.
You can feel that way, I just wouldn't say it out loud or write it on the internet.
If I say somebody's my hero, it's because they did something funny.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, exactly.
I don't genuinely mean they're my hero.
Like, I guess I would say, like, oh, my father's my hero.
I wouldn't even say that shit.
But, like, that would be as close as I got to it.
You know, because, like, we all know that, like, Superman's your hero.
Superman sucks ass, dude.
He's not my hero.
That's not what I heard.
I heard that you secretly love Superman.
No way, bro!
Superman's lame, dude.
I would never hero-worship Superman.
Fabricate a bunch of posts from the past, like, there it is.
I told you.
I told you he loves Superman.
Here's a post.
Have all the posts printed out on a hotel bed.
And then have my steel The Body hat and hang it on one of the bedposts and just take a photograph of all the printed out posts where I love Superman and be like, wow, it's here.
One of the tweets is just like, man, Shaq has the best tattoos.
Yeah, I love...
Okay, so Trump's my hero.
I love him so much.
If he does call for peace, it is probably because he fears for the lives of his grandchildren and young children.
His grandchildren and his young children?
Oh yeah, he does have a young child.
Yeah, I forget.
Yeah, I think that's great.
Oh, if Donald Trump tells us to go home like he did on January 6th, Or if he says he disavows the Proud Boys or the Nazis or whatever, it's because he's scared for his children.
It's not because he, like, wants to have a modicum of political power in this country.
Yeah, it has nothing to do with that.
It's for the kids, which I think that's sweet.
It's endearing.
It's because he still wants to be on TV, bro.
It's not because he fears for the life of his fucking children or grand- I don't think he cares that much about them, either way.
Maybe Baron, because Baron's so tall, but... Oh well.
Yeah, we got some threats here to the judge who signed the warrant.
They call him an R-worded activist judge who needs to get charged with treason.
Don't you wish the activist judge, because we're part of the problem, like, oh, man, there's too many activist judges out there doing such good things because they're activist judges.
Yeah, there are activist judges, but they're demons.
They're demonic activist judges.
Let's find out if he has children, where they go to school, where they live.
Everything!
Oh my god.
Do they learn nothing about... I guess they learn that you can post whatever you want and you don't have to worry about it.
Yeah, well, if you're full of shit, you can kind of post whatever you want.
It's if you're like an actual, you know, if you're a real dude, don't post about it.
That's the thing.
Yeah.
That's, that's, it's crucial.
Because there's so many people posting, like, Secret Service can't visit all of them.
FBI can't visit all of them.
No, there's not enough.
Yeah.
No.
Um, so the immediate response to the Washington Examiner, uh, writing this and posting this article, you know, FBI field office attacker telegraphed his failed siege from his Truth Social account.
Uh, the number one response to this was like, So?
Plenty of people are on Facebook too.
Terry Rainey says, so would Washington Examiner report this if he had posted on Facebook?
Like they don't think like the Death threats and call to war that the guy then followed through on and did in real life is the story.
Like, they think the story is like, oh, Truth Social's bad because this guy was there.
They think the story is like that he was being cringe.
Like, that's what they think they're reporting on.
It's like, this fool uses this fucking website.
This fool uses Donald Trump's website.
Look at this.
What a loser.
Yeah, that is.
They thought, well, they thought that, like, the Washington Examiner was trying to take down Truth Social or something.
Like, some people were like, well, Antifa uses Twitter.
I mean, thanks?
Like, cool?
Do they?
I just can't admit, like, your life is so wrapped up in social media, if that's your first response to a guy doing, like, civil war, trying to do civil war in real life, and you're like, Nitpicking about what social media he used.
Um, in the comments... I mean, if anything, then just start posting on Facebook if you don't want to get the FBI involved.
If that's what you think, then do that.
I mean, these people are on Facebook.
They're posting on Facebook, so maybe that's, yeah.
Yeah.
They should know better.
They should know that Facebook doesn't allow them to say these kinds of things on Facebook.
Terry Rainey just mad because Terry Rainey actually had some like sick responses to the original post on Facebook.
But they only covered the truth one so you didn't see a screenshot of Terry Rainey's reactions.
So in broader comment sections like on Fox News, there were a couple people who were trying to be like, what this man did was wrong.
There were like a few people who were treating this issue as a real thing that happened most people were just like oh looks like the FBI got another one looks like the FBI tricked another person into hating them like I do like I with all of my heart um but there were a few people who were like listen this is this is not the way for us conservatives to behave you know uh Joe Biden did make this guy do it
And it's not right that he did it, but it was, you know, it's still everybody else's fault.
And this is not a problem within the right-wing movement.
This is absolutely not a problem.
This is not how we handle things.
And L Paul B says, no, MAGA doesn't include this.
Somebody was like, Oh, your buddy, your buddy was at the FBI office trying to make America great again.
L Paul B was like, No, MAGA doesn't include this as it doesn't make America great again.
It only further diminishes what we want to accomplish.
Dems use violence to get what they want, not conservatives.
What's a... I'm gonna call him maybe a Mino?
Like a MAGA in name only?
Where have you been hanging out?
Like, no!
Yeah, conservatives don't use violence to get what they want, especially not Trump supporters.
They just, like, let the military do it.
They let the police do it.
They let the prison system do it.
They let the FBI do it.
They also do it, too.
Yeah, a little bit.
It's so funny.
But they're doing it, like, for them.
They're doing it, like, to help those other agencies out.
To be like, conservatives don't like violence.
Like, this show would not exist.
Like, we would not exist as a show if that were true.
Obviously.
No, we would definitely have a different name, that's for sure.
Second, like...
Every fucking conservative worth their salt will try to flex on you by telling you exactly how many guns they own and how many percentage of the guns are owned by conservatives.
Listen, oh, you want to be trans?
Oh, well, we own 70% of the guns.
It's like, okay, that's wild.
50-50, and guess who has more guns?
Yeah, so what are those guns for?
What do you like them for, if not for using violence to get what you want?
What are the guns for, guys?
For all the feral hogs.
For all of those feral hogs out there.
Well, I'm simply, when the moment comes and conservatives rise up, it'll be to challenge the left to a marksman competition.
Yeah.
Hey, what do you have all these guns for?
Well, my, my daughter, my daughter just turned seven.
So, uh, any day now she's going to be going on dates and I got to have a stockpile just, just, just to clean, clean in front of their dates, you know?
Yeah.
Uh, guns, guns don't do violence.
Dads with daughters do violence.
Yeah.
And I'm not doing it to get what I want, I'm preventing you from getting what you want.
Exactly.
Protecting what's mine.
My underage daughter's stuff down there.
It's not violence if it's your property, like my house or my daughter.
And then like right after this guy's like, this, this is not the MAGA way.
Threatening with violence.
Using violence for political ends.
1776!
Civil War now!
Just like, you know, he's like trying to talk over everybody else on his side shouting about watering the tree of liberty with blood.
Yeah.
This isn't terrorism, this is war!
And yeah, like right after his comment, people are like, I hate to say it.
Richard Wan says, I hate to say it, but this guy had the right thinking, but it will take much more than a lone wolf to stop the corruption in our country.
We heading the direction of a third world country has only had one down vote.
Many more upvotes.
Jay Deasy replies, he's a martyr for all who believe the FBI is corrupt.
Sadly, he'll be demonized as a terrorist in the media.
A martyr.
A straight up martyr.
Like, no, this guy's for sure.
This guy has ensured his position in the kingdom of heaven.
Yeah.
For standing up to the FBI.
Yeah.
Um, he will be demonized as a terrorist in the media.
Like, I don't think so.
I think like he'll more likely be demonized as a lunatic and a moron.
Uh, I think you have to accomplish more than like putting some chips in bulletproof glass, uh, to be considered a terrorist.
Yeah, I think you're like a vandal at that point.
Yeah, I think this dude would have been pretty bummed if he saw how little coverage he ended up getting actually.
You know?
Yeah.
So there were a lot of conspiracy theorists that popped up when everybody found out that this guy was like former Navy.
They were, you know, the common conspiracy theory is like, oh, he was property of the U.S.
government at one point, so they did MKUltra on him.
They hypnotized him and, you know, they sent him into action to, you know, to keep us Trump supporters in line to show us what will happen, etc., etc.
I prefer this conspiracy theory from Gretchen Briggs, Sims, So she found out that this guy was Navy.
Had access to classified documents.
These people do hear Navy though.
When they hear Navy they do immediately think like Navy SEAL, Top Operator, Elite.
That's what they have to do to justify everything else that they're going to be thinking about them.
Maybe, but part of the reporting was that he did have access to classified documents.
So he was up there somewhere.
He wasn't a Navy SEAL or anything like that.
He was... The meme about people in the Navy is that they're gay.
That's like the army joke about people.
That's still happening?
Oh yeah.
Dang.
But, in this case, because he had quote, you know, access to, you know, Intel or whatever, Gretchen says, this actually makes me even more concerned.
If he had access to all that Intel and was this pissed off, then it really makes me wonder what he knew.
He told you.
He told you why he was mad.
He told you over and over again.
Nothing to do with doc... It did have something to do with documents, but...
Not the ones he saw, the ones the FBI took from Trump's house.
I just, I love it.
Like, oh damn, like I thought he was crazy until I found out he used to be in the military.
Wow.
Now, now we should have listened to this guy.
Tell you what document he didn't see.
How to go about breaking a bowl of glass.
He didn't see that document.
Dude, that's probably from like an anarchist, an edition of the anarchist cookbook from, you know, the 80s.
That's probably where he got that from.
Yeah.
It's like old, old bulletproof glass technology.
It's been debunked on Mythbusters.
And the last thing before we move on, S. Big Newski, I don't know, says quote, well I thought I had a way through bulletproof glass and I didn't dot dot dot end quote.
Guess he never thought to test that nail gun theory on a bank drive-thru window before betting his life on it at the FBI headquarters.
A real rocket scientist.
Everyone knows that when you're about to do it, you gotta try it on a bank drive-thru window.
Also, how do you know that?
Maybe it worked on the bank drive-thru window.
Yeah, that's a good point.
Just go try to rob a liquor store or something, man, before you go on an FBI hunting spree, you know?
You're going on a mission to basically die, but why not do a trial run?
Yeah, exactly.
Why not get even more heat on you?
You know it's probably best to approach the FBI field office with already three Grand Theft Auto stars.
It's probably the best way to do it.
That's the best way to go about it, yeah.
I mean, if I was him, I would have done it on the way to the office.
You would have to.
With gas prices?
With gas prices, I'm only trying to do one trip.
Yeah.
Okay.
So, uh, I mean, just, you know, next time you're thinking about doing some crazy, like, MacGyver or Sherlock Holmes scheme against, you know, a federal policing agency or whatever, why don't you, like, write into Mythbusters first?
Yeah, see?
See what Mr. Savage thinks about this idea.
Yeah.
I loved this story.
This was pretty amazing.
It's refreshing.
Florida owner outraged no arrests after teens break into an $8 million mansion and throw a house party.
This is from foxnews.com.
Did you hear anything about this, Tony?
Only from you.
Only from you.
And I was so happy I did.
It's awesome.
I hope they make a movie out of this one like they did out of the Australian kids.
This one, I like this one even more than the Australian.
I mean, the Australian kid, you know, it did involve, like, several car fires, a lot of destruction, property damage, and that sort of thing.
That's cool, but I don't know how, like, wealthy that guy's street was.
You know, I don't know.
And it was also his, I think it was his parents.
Yeah, I don't know how wealthy- It was his house, so that's kind of lame.
The street was.
This is an $8 million home with a bunch of teens.
In this one video that got posted to TikTok, they're having a boxing match inside the living room.
Yeah, yeah.
Let me- And they said, like, convert it to a boxing match or whatever, but it's like, what makes it a boxing match is they have gloves, and that's cool.
And I wonder if those gloves were at the house or not.
Did they find them at the house and were like, run it?
I think that's what happened.
They're not gloves.
They, like, wrapped their fists in T-shirts.
Oh, is that what it is?
That's awesome.
Okay.
A North Florida homeowner is outraged that no arrests have been made after her $8 million mansion became the site of an unauthorized caught on video house party nearly two months ago.
Quote, I'm shocked that basically they're on video in my home and they're just getting away with it, the owner told Fox News Digital of the June 17 bash in her palatial Santa Rosa Beach property that attracted more than 200 revelers.
Quote, they were helping themselves to my fridge, to my clothes, to my jewelry, to my bags, said the mother of four who asked that her name be withheld.
So, well, we already got your address, so.
Yeah it is really weird that like it it makes it more suspect and I think they're more deserving of that she didn't want her name shared because like is it because you suck?
Is that why?
Is it because you know if like you google your name we're gonna hate you right away?
She and her husband, an oil executive, and their children were out of town when the crowd of mostly teens allegedly broke in.
And I'm just already furious at the use of the word allegedly right here.
We saw it in the TikTok, Tony.
What's alleged about it, all right?
As music blared and the uninvited guests downed booze, the foyer of the five-bedroom, eight-bathroom home was turned into a boxing ring for a match, cell phone clips show.
Now this is the second time I've heard of a mansion having more bathrooms than bedrooms.
Why?
For exactly this.
This is the only reason I can think of to justify it.
Is in case 200 teenagers break into your house.
It reduces the chance that they're going to pee in vases.
And things of that sort.
This is going to hopefully use the restroom.
One of the many restrooms.
Yeah I guess I guess if you're throwing a party at a mansion there's only like you need places to do coke and there's all you know there's you're limited to the amount of uh upper toilet tanks there are in the house yeah but I mean a good mansion has a coke room but if there's 200 people you know it's true you're gonna need multiple coke you're gonna need multiple coke post yeah you're gonna need seven stage yeah at least
The rowdy crowd helped themselves to a $1,500 bottle of Ace of Spades champagne and other valuable wines and liquors from the couple's collection, according to the owner.
I love that.
Is this a Motorhead champagne that I'm not aware of?
Because that might be worth $1,500.
I wish that's what it was, but no, it's just a champagne.
It's like fine.
It's just expensive.
It comes in a kind of cool bottle.
Yeah.
It's just like, rappers like it.
Oh.
You know, it's one of those ones, like, I don't know, I think Migos raps about it a few times.
Okay.
But it's fine.
It's just champagne.
It's not worth as much.
You're supposed to drink it.
That's what it's there for.
I don't understand why we're so upset about it.
It's not usually $1,500.
- Only $1,500, it's a lot, but 1,500 is a special bottle.
- Other valuable wines and liquors from the Couples Collection.
Well, good.
I guarantee there was.
there was a bottle of wine that was more valuable than this bottle of ace of spades i guarantee there was i'm just glad they got put to use you know it's like having a hot rod in the garage and never driving it like why what's the point photos and video posted to snapchat snapchat still around snapchat instagram and tiktok show the trespassers enjoying the sprawling 6442 square foot property their face is clearly visible the whole hell yeah the
The home in the exclusive watercolor subdivision was accessed through accordion doors that face the backyard.
Interlopers pried off three locks.
The ringleaders advised the party, advertised the party five days prior to the event through a flyer circulated on social media according to Walton County Sheriff's Office Public Information Officer Corey Dobrydnia.
When security showed- That's so sick.
Yeah.
Like they, cause you're thinking how did this happen?
You know, it's, but they advertise it five days ahead to break into this house and pry off three locks.
Like was it, because if it was an inside job, they wouldn't have needed to pry off the locks.
So the kids knew something.
I think that fucking rules.
They were doing this wild thing and they made advertisements for it.
It's pretty brazen to be like posting on public social media this party at someone else's house.
It's pretty good.
Yeah.
When security showed up, the crowd dispersed with some attendees swiping souvenirs, including a $3,500 Yves Saint Laurent purse.
I think I said that the right fancy way.
A football signed by former Indianapolis Colts quarterback Peyton Manning and a PlayStation 4.
Give me that PS4.
That's the one I want.
Why do they have a PS4?
Also, I'm really glad that you clearly stated Indianapolis Colts quarterback Peyton Manning.
I think more people know his name than know what he does.
It's the guy who owns that car dealership.
Yeah.
I think they all own car dealerships, right?
Why did he sign a football?
Shouldn't he have signed a tire or something?
It's dumb.
A fender?
Yeah, a helmet.
Is anything but a football?
That's stupid.
Someone's going to play without an accident.
The family returned to find their home in disarray and their daughter's American doll collection strewn on the roof.
I want to see those TikToks.
They're just like throwing American Girl dolls all over the roof of a mansion.
I want to see the local news coverage of this where they send one of the camera guys up onto the roof so that he can get somber footage of the carnage of these American Girl dolls.
Oh no, that's Betsy.
Oh no.
Just panning across, mini accessories strewn across the whole roof.
All she wanted to do was churn butter.
Yeah.
So good.
Oh no, there's Tiana.
She was the first escaped slave.
She's a brave little girl riding on the Underground Railroad.
Now look at her.
Look, this became... it's a hate crime now.
Now this is a hate crime.
The family returned to find their home in disarray.
The property was listed on Zillow for $7.9 million before the unsanctioned rager.
And then here we have...
A fucking selfie embedded in the article of a kid wearing five Super Bowl rings taking a selfie of himself with I think like his school's shirt on.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I don't know what a seaside would be, but yeah, like this, this kid fucking rules.
Just a ring on each finger.
Also, cause I think they are sized.
I think they're, yeah, I think there are size like for the person getting it.
Right.
So this oil, this oil tycoon has tiny hands cause they don't go past this.
This kid's an average sized kid and they don't go past the first knuckle or the first pinky.
Yeah.
So this guy has tiny hands.
I was reading this article and I was like, that's weird.
So he just like bought five Super Bowl, this like millionaire just bought five Super Bowl rings.
And then Tony, you texted me.
You're like, I fucking hate that this guy has Super Bowl rings.
And then it clicked.
I was like, Oh, he's a fuck.
He owns a team.
Yep.
Probably the Indianapolis Colts.
He probably like part owner of the fucking Indianapolis Colts or some shit.
That or some of the, yeah, because like, exactly.
I think it might be the, there's like stars on the rings.
It might be the Cowboys.
Sick.
He might be like, you know, he might be some huge sponsor or something like that, you know?
Either way, some bullshit to where he gets a ring because he did something dumb.
Yeah, I was like, why would you buy a Super Bowl?
But yeah, I'm stupid.
The owner is stunned that many of the attendees, including a football player at a local high school that she says can be seen in footage absconding with one of her pricey purses, haven't been slapped in cuffs.
The daughter of a local politician was also identified in several photos from the party posted to social media, but hasn't faced any consequences, the irate owner told Fox News Digital.
Quote.
That's really weird that that kid didn't suffer any consequences.
You'd think that the oil executive would understand that one, at least.
You'd think that he would know.
Yeah, yeah.
He's like, okay, well, yeah, you got me there.
He did, like, send a really strongly worded letter about donations this year.
Consider that ring a donation.
Consider that ring a donation.
Quote, a lot of these kids in the pictures and videos are local.
They're football players and cheerleaders and have heard nothing being done to them, she said.
They're all claiming they didn't know the house was broken into.
She called the assertion absurd, pointing out that the main lights in the home weren't turned on and everybody fled when security showed up following a noise complaint.
That's just a regular party.
You always, you got to run when the cops show up.
Yeah.
Are you kidding?
It's the way it goes.
goes the teens clearly knew they were trespassing because they wouldn't behave the way they did if they were guests she said they were partying a little too hard uh for it to be a real party the husband was like yeah totally uh That's not how you party with people that are hosting you.
Nope.
Nuh-uh.
No way.
Not with teens.
Yeah, they didn't party the right way.
There's an honest, good way to party.
The way you party when you know the homeowners and you have a You have a strong, like, respect, a healthy respect for the private property of the homeowners.
You know, that's the kind of partying that didn't take place here, obviously.
Obviously.
It's disgusting, really.
If something was stolen or broken, was it really a party?
No.
That's a crime.
Those are violent crimes.
These kids live in invaluable homes.
They know what it's like if someone were to come damage their homes.
That'd be awful.
I mean, some of these kids do.
They tried on her bathing suits, her husband's Super Bowl rings, and smoked cigars in the in-home movie theater.
And then, yeah, there's a photo down here of them smoking cigars in the recliner, throwing up fake gang signs.
What I love about this picture is it has a before a kind of like a before and after it has like the the game the theater room like not obstructed at all and then it has these two young kids like smoking cigars but if you look every every chair has a throw over the back of it none of the throws in the smoking picture are all still there the pillows still look great like I don't think they were wilding that hard I think they were just smoking cigars in there The kids are respectable.
I don't know.
Smoking cigars in your home theater.
That's not something I would aspire to.
I think that's cringe.
If you're trying to emulate that.
These kids are on the wrong path and it's not because of the crimes or whatever.
It's because of who they're idolizing.
Yeah, smoke blunts indoors, don't smoke cigars.
Blunts are way cooler.
Captain Dustin Cosson of the Walton County Sheriff's Office Criminal Investigations Bureau said he understands the owner's frustration, but investigations take time.
More than 50 partygoers have been identified and interviewed, including several that came forward on their own, he told Fox News Digital.
Many of them were invited on social media and didn't realize they didn't have permission to be there, he added.
Quote, we have to be able to prove intent in a burglary.
I love him like being like talking to this fucking oil executive in his county.
Being like, listen, like, I know that I literally work for you.
I realize that.
We are fucking trying.
There were 200 kids here.
We, we, like, please let us do, we would love to do this for you.
Please just let us do it.
And she's like, uh, no, I'm going to Fox News again for like the third time.
And the police was like, also, you know who these kids are, right?
You know who these kids' parents are?
Like, you told us who they were.
You know I can't just fucking go, come on, come on.
Yeah, it's like, listen, don't make me choose.
Don't make me pick between you guys.
Please.
The probe hasn't yet identified the ringleaders and authorities are waiting on outstanding subpoenas for social media records.
The footage of the teen football player with the black bag is far from conclusive, he said.
Investigators can't prove that it's the same black bag that was taken from the home when all that is visible is a strap across his shoulder.
So she's just like, she's just like picking out black smudges and she's like, that's my fucking bag.
Yeah.
That's a, that's clearly a football.
There's, you can see a, you can see leather right there.
That's a football.
Get his ass.
And the cop's like, actually, ma'am, that's, that's Kevin.
Kevin's a drip god.
Kevin's bag collection is absurd.
Like your shit's whatever.
Honestly, I don't know if Kevin would spend time in your purse room.
So I can't really, I can't really like say yes or no to this.
Quote, we don't arrest 200 people who show up at a house party, he explained.
We're looking for the people who planned the party, broke in, or stole property.
Yeah.
So, wow.
Good luck with your search for these miscreants, authorities.
We hate them with all of our hearts.
Partying at an oil executive's mansion without his permission?
This is something you would never hear of, not in a million years.
You'd never see this be the exact plot to a 1980s feel-good blockbuster.
yeah they're like i'm sure they all loved like that's a great you know those are so many bangers like literally the only way this could get better is if the oil executive came home early and they pushed him into the pool yeah or there was like a horse inside the house yeah amazing stuff uh highly commend these kids except for posting your shit on social media guys i mean i know it's like a party so Hard not to do.
I guess that's probably the biggest indication that they didn't think anything they were doing was illegal.
Maybe?
I mean, kids, you know, they do it either way.
Document this shit either way.
But be, you know, be a little smarter maybe next time.
Definitely still party at a stranger's million-dollar mansion, though, for sure.
Yeah, if I had a different kind of, like, social media, I would have probably taken different pictures when I went and, like, partied at the rich kids' houses.
You know, I would have for sure, like, taken some pics and, like, posted them, like, with whatever gaudy shit they had.
Like, no doubt.
I would have, but, you know, I didn't have that, so I didn't do that.
I do hope that the original posters were, like, I don't know who made this flyer, but it sure looks cool.
I found it randomly.
Just can't get tied to the original poster at all?
Yeah, yeah.
So, let's look at responses to this story.
Oh man, I wonder how they're going to respond to teens having fun at a millionaire's house.
CRN Jr.
says, quote, we have to be able to prove intent in a burglary, end quote.
You mean the prying open of three separate locks to gain entry isn't enough to show intent?
Those prosecutors must be proud employees of George Soros.
It's like instantly conspiracy theories with these people.
And it's like, is there video footage of all 200 kids prying off locks?
Like, do you think that's a thing that exists?
Yeah, I don't think it does exist.
Do you know what the word show means?
Do you know what, in the phrase show intent, do you know what the show part of that means?
Yeah, it's like display.
It's like let me see it.
Also like the, so A, you think that George Soros employees, like the government employees who would be prosecuting this case, or George Soros is the oil tycoon who would be hiring a lawyer to do the kids privately?
That's the only way George Soros can be involved in this.
I think the theory here is that George Soros owns every prosecutor you don't like in America.
He's the one who funded their campaigns, got them into office, and Some cops they just know at this point who their prosecutor is in their city and it's like why even bother?
Why even bother arresting these criminal thugs when we got a George Soros funded prosecutor who's definitely not even gonna press charges against them?
Yeah, I mean, if it's up to this prosecutor, the oil tycoon's probably going to be funding these kids' podcast next, you know?
I was so happy when I found this next response.
And I found it a lot.
This is just the one that I grabbed.
Let me see if you can tell where this is going.
SMH at Idiots says, Wait, a bunch of people go to a place they aren't supposed to be because they saw a flyer inviting them, but it's not illegal.
You getting hints?
You getting little inklings of where this is going?
Tell that to the people who went to the Capitol January 6th after seeing a Facebook post about a rally.
Most of the people convicted for trespassing did zero damage, had no intent to hurt anyone, and were only charged with being inside the building.
And then 3JA140 replies, yep, good point.
We just thought we were going to a party.
Wow, wow.
That is a huge point.
It's a shame this timeline wasn't a little bit different because of those Jan 6 hearings.
You would have heard like, oh we would like to cite the People vs. the Partiers in Florida.
Where no one was in fact charged, although there was clear footage of boxing matches and two bull rings being worn.
Your Honor, I would like to strike from the record any reference to the defendant of being a party animal.
I believe that taints the jury in their minds, that casts him in a positive light.
I would like that stricken from the record, and I would like the jury to ignore.
I would like him to remove the lampshade from his head, first of all.
It is inappropriate for court.
Straighten that tie, mister.
If you would look, my client is clearly only party in the back.
If you look, this is a business forward person.
This is only party in the back, so do not hold this against him.
I love the idea that, oh, we just thought it was a house show.
We thought January 6th, we didn't know we weren't supposed to be there.
No, I bought balloons out front.
That's all I did illegal, I bought a balloon out front.
We didn't even know where we were going.
Donald Trump said, ask a punk.
Ask a punk where it is.
They'll tell you.
I was following the homie who had the address.
I didn't have the address.
The reason we all got arrested is because someone was drinking in the parking lot.
And fucking Kamala Harris called the cops on them.
Those motherfuckers.
We didn't even know that fool.
That's the easiest way to ruin a DIY space.
We were having a great time.
It was a safe spot.
You know, you just keep it on the DL.
You gotta be smashing bottles in the parking lot.
Look, I tried to give them a solo cup.
I said, you gotta pour it in a cup.
It has to be an opaque cup.
That's what they want.
Oh, geez, guys.
Not cool.
Not cool at all.
Settled down.
There's some, like, nerdlinger running around the Capitol building.
Oh, guys!
Stop!
My mom, Nancy Pelosi, is gonna be home any minute!
Dianne Feinstein, she's downstairs taking some Florida Optometrist virginity from him.
Partying so hard.
- I thought that you were for sure older 'cause of your crass patch. - I love that, man.
No, I only took... This postcard I took, these papers off Nancy Pelosi, it's like you go to a show, you take the fire off the fucking wall.
That's free.
They don't need it after it happened.
No, this list of contacts is just a set list.
I just wanted a set list.
Come on.
Not cool.
Yeah, her agenda book.
She's playing all the hits.
Chicago 619 had a great take, had a wonderful take about the kids at the house party.
Street justice is really the way to go here.
Hunt them down one by one and make them pay the ultimate price.
Sooner or later, sooner or later, they'll start to get it.
And this has 67 upvotes.
There's only one way to interpret the ultimate price, right?
Like that's the only thing would be, that's, Oh, they're gonna lose their P.O.D.
collection?
Yeah, like, what are you, what are you, like, you're, you're saying they kill them?
Yeah, it's the ultimate, the ultimate price.
I mean, that's, and the ultimate price is like 80s language, you know, so I, I feel like, yeah, you just, you're just, Embodying the villain role in a Caddyshack or Animal House type movie.
Sly, you are like 100% embodying the snob role and you're like, yeah, we're gonna do murder for what these nerdlingers did to that beautiful home that I don't live in and I don't know who owns it, but I'm so mad about it.
I do want to see the supercut of these chuds trying to murder these kids, right?
But the kids see it coming and all of them end up tripping into a big pile of horse shit.
Yeah, totally.
Of actual poop.
Looking at old man's balls.
Oh, you saw old man's balls and said he'd kill me.
Look what happened.
Yeah, they're like approaching these kids with a fucking, you know, Smith & Wesson AR-15 and they just fall down a manhole.
Yeah.
Watching their hair with Nair out of nowhere.
Gal525 replies.
She says, quote, I know what you did last summer.
And Truthwinds098 says, could not agree more.
Oh my God.
I hope that someone sees this and does make it.
I know what you did last summer sequel where this is the plot.
They're like, these kids keep getting slaughtered.
What's the thing?
And they're like, guys, remember we went to that party last year?
They were all at the party too.
The in memory photo is the kid with five rings.
It's his RIP photo.
Yeah, I just figure it out.
I love the idea of like, yeah, you finally unmask the killer and it's like a 55 year old retired guy who like read in the news that you partied too hard.
But on someone else's property.
That's pretty fucked.
Now I gotta get you with the fish hook.
We gotta slash your cereal, kill these kids.
Um, NeverNeil153 says, I wish the kid in the photo with the rings was my child.
He would be handed over to law enforcement and I would not bail him out.
Parents are less responsible than their children.
I don't think he even did anything.
I don't think they said that.
I think they said like a ring went missing.
I don't think he even took those rings.
No, no.
The complaint was they tried on the rings.
How dare they?
Yeah.
What a shitty person.
Your fucking parent rats on you like that?
That's so fucked.
I wish that boy was my child so I could own him.
So I could fuck over his life forever.
God, that would be so great.
It would be so great to have a beautiful son on the football team and be able to sell him out.
Sell him down the river.
Just flush all his dreams down the toilet.
What an insane fantasy.
I think that's happened.
Kids being dragged by the ear to the police to be like, tell them about the graffiti you did and they're like, you know, okay I did the graffiti.
And then they get in real ass trouble and their whole lives get fucked.
Yeah.
That's one thing.
I could see if it's your kid, and you're a bad parent, and you're like, I don't fucking know, like, throw the book at him, judge.
I'm talking about somebody fantasizing about having a bad kid so they can punish them this hard.
That's a sick fucking person.
Like, it's again, it's like these weird fantasies.
It's like fantasizing about fucking people you love having real bad stuff happen to them just so you can be justified in murder.
You know, it's that same weird, you know, awful fantasy.
You can just go adopt a troubled child, probably.
You could go adopt, like, a 15-year-old and they'll probably do some crimes, you know, depending on how well-adjusted they are, and then there you go, bang.
You have your wish.
And even if you guys, like, don't bond, even if you don't bond while you're being, like, an awful, like, foster parent or whatever, you can bond when they do go to prison and you continue to visit them.
That will, that will, it's gonna be fucked for them, like, But statistically, they probably won't ever get help to address those issues.
So you'll probably have a lifelong bond.
So, you know, go for it.
You'll probably get many opportunities to turn them over to law enforcement.
I mean, the recidivism rate in this country, you know, I mean, we all know prison actually does nothing for rehabilitation.
So you're good there.
You're good.
Yeah, you're solid.
Also, you don't have to do anything.
You could just make something up.
That's the best part.
Yeah this this kid stole my fucking Yves Saint Laurent bag.
Where is it?
You got a Yves Saint Laurent bag?
I did.
I used to have one.
See look here's a photo of him walking out the door with it and it's like he's it's like a photoshop of him obviously asleep and you've like thrown the bag on him but then you've like rotated him 90 degrees so it looks like he's walking out the door.
You like photoshopped that you did the Steve Buscemi eyes on him to make his eyes look open?
Or you did the blade eyes on him?
You had the blade eyes?
He's got Wesley Snipes eyes for some reason.
They're opening?
You inserted a gif over it?
It's like they're opening?
Yeah, I got a short video of him walking out the door.
For anybody who doesn't know, apparently in one of the scenes of Blade, I think it was the original Blade, I don't remember, Wesley Snipes... No, it's like the third one.
It's like by the time he was not, he was, he wasn't doing too great by the time the third one came around.
Yeah, he was like, oh well you got Ryan Reynolds, get him to open his eyes for you.
Yeah, yeah.
He wouldn't open his eyes.
He was on a table and he was supposed to wake up suddenly and attack everybody, but he refused to open his eyes, so they CGI'd his eyes opening.
And yeah, it's a good little clip.
It looks terrible.
It looks awesome.
It looks terrible, yeah.
Hey sir, why did you even have this Yves Saint Laurent bag?
Well, to hold my five Super Bowl rings.
That's why I got this expensive bag.
You're like shaking the bag around, hearing him jingle around.
Love that sound.
Finally, NorBlue replies to the story, you know, responds to this story about these teenagers going into somebody else's home, throwing a massive rager and getting away with it.
Perfect storm brewing in this country.
An out-of-touch government, indifferent to the concerns of the common man, the common oil executive.
Yeah, you know the regular eight million dollar house owners?
That could be my Super Bowl rings next week, Tony.
Where does it stop?
They clogged all 19 of my bathrooms, all 19 of my toilets.
They clogged all of them.
Um, I mean, yeah, sure.
I don't have five Super Bowl rings, but I have, I have like five different drill bits.
That's true.
I have gone.
I had, I had five different drill bits.
They were the good ones too.
The real good ones.
You know, the good ones.
I got five pairs of shoes.
All right.
They could do that easily to my shoes.
They only took one of the shoes.
I just got a shoe now.
Isn't that... Wasn't that like part of Operation Mayhem in Fight Club was like stealing the left shoe of every citizen?
It's like some movie prank shit.
Probably, yeah.
That probably was one of them, yeah.
Where the fuck's my shoe at?
Where's my left shoe at?
Am I losing my mind?
Wow, they really made a statement with this one.
You're just going to be walking in circles now, like we all are.
Someone just did that with my wallet.
They stole it.
They stole it for a couple days, and then they put it back in the most obvious place.
And I can't believe that they did that to me.
That just happened.
Oh no, Tony.
It was like underneath a perfectly shaped other thing that was the exact shape of my wallet, like lined up with it.
I'm like, why did I do that?
Apparently, apparently I did that.
It was like directly underneath it.
And I just, I looked, I moved both of them together more than once.
Both items together more than once looking for the wallet.
Oh no.
But what, but what, but what really happened was somebody stole it for a few days and then put it back.
And which is just really, that's pretty fucked.
That's Project Mayhem right there for you.
Did they steal your identity?
Did they do anything?
No, no, they didn't.
They didn't steal my identity or do anything.
Let me show you.
Actually, you know what's really funny?
This is what it was.
Let me show you this real quick.
It's a, it's a, one of these coin things.
Those coin like.
Okay.
I don't know why I have this.
I think, I think my, I think I cleaned out my grandma's house and came home with me.
And it was just, it was just right behind it.
I literally had picked them up together, I think more than once, looking for my wallet.
I thought you were saying that Penny stole your wallet and then tried to hide it.
Nope, nope, nope.
Just me.
Just me being real smart.
I did that recently with something too.
It was either my wallet or my phone was underneath something that was the same exact size as it is.
It's a little stupid.
It's understandable.
Thank you.
Okay.
An out-of-touch government, indifferent to the concerns of the common man.
Same as the American colonies in 1776.
Class warfare, reminiscent of France, 1789.
Don't fucking talk like you give a shit about class warfare.
You're defending the home of an oil executive!
What are you talking about?
They should've stripped the copper of this mansion, and we should celebrate it.
Class warfare is what the kids did back to this guy.
Like, come on, man.
A 50-50... Oh, well, okay.
No, I take that back.
When he says class warfare reminiscent of France 1789, he means that in a bad way.
He means that it's bad that we're attempting to analyze things via a class lens because it's gonna lead to the French Revolution.
Okay, okay.
You might be right.
I believe because I've heard- But saying the American colony is in 1776 along with it is like- That's obviously a good thing.
That's, yeah.
But also, what are you going to do?
Are you going to go colonize somewhere else now?
Is that what your plan is?
You're going to go take some land somewhere?
I saw somebody who was like, in response to this FBI shooter guy, somebody was like, every politician, every judge, every law enforcement official needs to go on record right now as to whether the actions of those great men in 1776 were legal or not.
Whether they were good or not.
Whoa.
Whoa.
And somebody was like, what does that have to do with what happened?
Like, what do you, what does that have to do with the guy who tried to, you know, nail gun his way into an FBI office?
And he was like, oh, so you can't answer the question.
Yeah.
And it's, it's funny.
It's like, okay.
Okay.
As charitable, like charitably, No.
No, they weren't.
It wasn't good.
I mean, you could say like, oh, it's cool to, you know, throw off the shackles of an empire, of a monarchy, an ocean away or whatever.
Not for the reasons they did it.
They weren't doing it for good reasons.
They were doing it because they didn't want to pay any money to them.
They were wealthy ass motherfuckers who wanted to be even more wealthy.
Like that's what it was.
And they wanted to have slaves.
Yeah, slaves were a cool thing to have at the time for them.
Is this guy saying, like, maybe we have to do some illegal stuff?
Maybe we gotta do some illegal stuff like the Founding Fathers did.
Is that what this guy's saying?
The guy that I'm referencing obliquely right now?
Or the comment that we're reading?
The comment.
Yeah, of course he is.
He's doing it in a really nerdy fucking debate club way where he's like you need to go on the record and I'm gonna catch you in a gotcha moment if you say what they did was right but what but we can't do it We're not allowed to raise up arms against a tyrannical government, but they can?
Hmm.
Hypocrite, I think.
Anyway.
It's like, you have representation!
Like, the reason for the revolution was no taxation without representation.
Buddy, you got, if you're in a red state, if you're in a red county, you got the most representation anybody's ever fucking had in this country.
You are overrepresented.
You are like one, you're, you're, uh, you're two and a half people.
Buddy, you were like worth like three or four people, alright?
Shut the fuck up.
You're also convinced that Trump represents you also.
You're also convinced of that.
Sure, yeah.
I mean he represents them as much as any of the founding fathers represented the common man back in 1776.
Um, okay, but yeah.
Back to this comment.
Class warfare reminiscent of France 1789.
A 50-50 political divide.
That's a little generous.
50-50 political divide as we had in United States 1861.
Worldwide anarchy similar to 1914.
You're just reaching now, buddy.
It's a strange brew.
Reminds me of the witches in Macbeth.
Quote.
Double double toil and trouble.
Fire burn and cauldron bubble.
Bad things lie ahead.
It's funny because like he totally jumps the shark at the end there because at first you're like yeah yep time time revolution's coming brother yep wait hold on like Beth what are you chill dude are you talking about Witches and stuff?
What is this?
I cut it off but the reply to him was, ah yes, also reminds me of quote, beware the Ides of March.
But they're really like, no, by the time March comes, something crazy is going to happen.
You just wait.
You just wait for March.
And it's just like, ah, yes, now I know why the caged bird sings.
Yes.
Yes, yes.
Other vague quotes I kind of know.
It was the best of times.
It was the worst of times.
Hmm?
Yep.
You know why someone once did say Levioso.
That's my only, that's my, that's my banger.
That's my ultimate Harry Potter reference.
I mean, you gotta, it's, it's pretty good.
It would be better if you said the whole spell.
Which is, which is... Is there more to that?
It's Wingardium Levioso.
Oh, shit.
Dang it.
So just, yeah, write that part down.
That explains everything.
I thought I had someone convinced I was a real one, but they know I'm a poser.
Well, I mean, I know now.
I know why, I know where your confusion comes from.
It's because the line in the movie that's, you know, iconic is Hermione saying, it's leviosa, not leviosa.
So you could be forgiven for thinking that that's the only part of the spell.
Yeah.
Damn it.
Okay.
I mean, thank you.
Thank you for helping me out with this.
Yeah, no problem, dude.
I'm just tired of hanging out with muggles.
You know, I'm trying to like, trying to diversify my friend group.
Uh, yeah.
Hmm.
Macbeth.
Hmm.
Yeah.
It also reminds me of, uh, the man in black fled into the desert and the gunslinger followed.
You know what's coming then?
You do understand I'm coming now, right?
You see what's happening?
Ah, yes.
Animal Farm.
Yeah, so kids at a party at a mansion.
It's Civil War time.
It's Civil War time, baby.
Naturally, yeah.
Minion's Law never fails.
And I will say that doing a slasher-style serial kill of several teenagers does qualify as Minion's Law still.
Yeah.
I mean, god damn, that could be a pretty good movie.
Yeah.
I think I need to watch that again.
I know we did it last summer.
Yeah.
And it would be a fact, you know, because it would be like ostensibly like, oh, it's a slasher.
It's a serial killer.
All these teens are dying, you know.
But you also kind of sympathize with the killer here, you know.
His teens were bad, you know.
Instead of having sex, they just They sat on a couch.
They tried on a rake.
One of the things that's going to happen is the mansion is going to just stay as is, as they left it, until they're all dead.
And the person can't clean the house until they're all dead.
And it's not the owner of the house.
It's a sympathetic reader.
That's the episode.
Thanks so much for listening.
Again, you can support us at patreon.com slash MinionDeathCult.
P-A-T-R-E-O-N dot com slash MinionDeathCult for instant access to hundreds of bonus episodes over there, including our coverage of the Anarchists HBO Libertarian slash ANCAP miniseries, which is fucking fantastic.
So good.
And it's about to get even better.
Oh my god.
We're about to find out why this specific little utopian society was in the news two years ago.
Yeah.
How do they break the big time?
Yeah.
$3.11 a month.
That's all you got to pay.
Everybody else raising their prices.
HBO Max, Hulu, Disney Plus raising their prices.
We're still only $3.11, baby.
That's right.
Goddamn right.
Also listen to the newest episode of ButtFest 2000 at the Street Fight Radio main feed on your podcast app.
And support those boys at patreon.com slash Street Fight Radio to get the entire series of BudFest 2000, the other mini-series we talked about.
Amazing content.
One of the best Patreons out there.
Easily.
Easily.
Love it.
Love those boys.
Good stuff over there.
Alright, we'll talk to you folks again soon.
Bye.
Peace.
Love y'all.
You win some, lose some, you do the same to me I love you, I love you, I love you
