Those who prefer feathered versions of dinosaurs are no different than the virtue-signalling liberals who say "I prefer girls with curves!" (fixed)
There was an error during the original upload that cut off the last 7 minutes of this episode including, crucially, the Christmas Macarena. It has been restored to its original glory. This week Alex finds himself mad online at liberals criticizing the Amazon Labor Union Also, A Washington Post columnist gets mad at John Lennon's "Imagine," asking, "Can't we just imagine the world we have now?" And finally, the British and the American alike rage at the emasculation of dinosaurs Support the shot for only $3.11/month at http://patreon.com/miniondeathcult and get a bonus episode every week, as well as instant access to hundreds of previous bonus episodes, right in your podcast app
The liberals are destroying California, and conservative humor gone awry... Conservative humor gone awry is going to fascistphonia today, so stay tuned.
We're going to take a few pictures of the desert and how their policies are actually messing it up.
It's not beautiful when you go across that border.
Stay tuned guys, we'll show you exactly what it looks like when people are going to get yourself.
All their environmental stuff.
Stay tuned.
I'm Alexander Edward.
And I'm Tony Boswell.
And we are Minion Death Cult.
The world is ending.
Woke dinosaurs are responsible.
And no, I'm not talking about those crazy guys in rubber suits that got canceled when the meteor hit.
I'm talking about the real guys.
The real dinosaurs that they're trying to steal from us.
They're trying to take them away from us and woke-ify them, race-ify them, gender-ify them, and we'll get to that.
So don't worry, folks.
Don't worry about it, yeah.
It'll be covered for all you paleontologists out there.
Yeah.
Uh, thanks for tuning in as always.
It's one of the things, there's a lot of things to deal with them, you know, thanks for tuning in folks.
Uh, I wanted to start off this episode with, uh, doing a little, a little penance doing a little, what do you call it?
When you go into the booth at the church and you tell them all your nasty thoughts.
Confession, Tony.
Confession.
The former Catholic here.
Let me tell you about confession.
Confession, yeah.
And we're not talking about the Usher song.
We're talking about cleansing your soul so you can go to heaven.
Yeah, I need to do some confession on the show because, folks, I was mad online this week.
You were triggered.
I got a little something I promised I would never do, something I swore an oath that I would never do, and I did it.
I got mad online because We had a wonderful episode about the Amazon Union, the successful formation of the Amazon Union last week.
A very good episode we did with Brett Payne from Street Fight.
Banger, banger.
Highly recommend listening to that episode and just all the insane right-wing excuses for why unions are bad.
And it was nice, like I said on that episode, it was nice to cover that topic because, you know, it's rare that we get to celebrate a victory and, you know, cleanse ourselves with the awful takes in reaction to good news, right?
It's nice to see bad responses to good news because you still got the good news, you know, to just roll around in the back of your mind while you're going through the filth.
And we get to see people be triggered, which is what we love to do.
So yeah, it is a shame that you're probably being covered on right now on some like lib podcast where they review like leftist reviews.
They're like, look at this.
Look at this leftist getting so mad about us, you know, being right about something.
Yeah.
So they're talking about you right now somewhere.
That podcast probably being the Media Matters for America podcast.
Yeah.
I saw this tweet from this guy, Andrew Lawrence.
Simple screenshot of Chris Smalls, the organizer, the president of the Amazon Labor Union, appearing on Tucker Carlson.
And they're sort of side by side in their videos on this screenshot.
But then even larger is a photo of AOC.
And the chyron underneath says, you know, Christian Smalls, Amazon union leader, New York, Amazon union leader on AOC, abandoning them before historic vote.
And this is something I think we didn't get a chance to talk about on the episode where we talked about this union, but yeah, Chris Smalls, after the successful win, I believe he was asked about AOC, something like that, and he simply said, hey, this isn't about AOC, she didn't do any of this work, we did this work, this isn't about her, this is about us.
And people are too precious with their politicians.
I think it's important too.
He said, she didn't show up.
A lot of people didn't show up.
Yeah.
I do like that little part, but yeah.
And people are, people are too precious with their politicians.
You know, I, I like some of the stuff that AOC says, but that's her, She says stuff.
She might, you know, she might vote here or there.
She's a House Democrat, so.
Yeah.
It's her among 200 others, right?
Politicians, you know, they can be cool, they can say nice things, they can even occasionally vote on good things, right?
But they're tools, okay?
They're tools that are used to achieve a desired outcome.
In this case, AOC was not a helpful tool in this process, okay?
She doesn't deserve any credit for not being part of it.
And is a beautiful example that we don't need them.
We don't need them.
I think that's really cool that this happened.
You know, we don't need them.
They're successful by themselves.
Well, you're right.
And it's not just that we don't need them.
It's just that this fight has to happen outside of them.
Yeah.
It's not even that we don't need them.
It's that we can't need them.
We can't be in a position to need them because they're not going to be able to do it.
Yeah.
It is the workers who do it.
It is the organizers who do it.
And if AOC, you know, if she gets her feelings hurt, which I don't know, I haven't seen the responses to, I think she might have gotten a little snippy on Twitter, but if she gets her feelings hurt because of this, then she's in the wrong line of work.
Yeah, absolutely.
She can do something else, or she can put her ego aside and step in the next time.
That's all you gotta do.
That's all you gotta do is just help out the next time.
You can help out, or you cannot help out.
Yeah, absolutely.
Take the L. It's not a big deal.
You can do better next time.
But yeah, again, we didn't need her, so whatever.
They didn't need her.
I don't want a we here.
I don't deserve any credit.
Anybody concerned with AOC's image or that this is harmful to the left because Chris Smalls, a successful union organizer, might be casting aspersions on AOC's image?
I'm sorry, you gotta fucking log off?
You gotta stop watching cable news?
If you are concerned about a celebrity politician's image over a worker victory, you're either on the wrong side, or you're just confused.
Yeah, I mean, for sure, for sure, like, workers are not your priority.
That's a fact.
Because, like, part, you know, one of the number one things about, you know, labor organizing is, you know, accepting and knowing that we are organizing for everybody.
He could go on there and say, fuck AOC, fuck everybody, and I still fuck with them because it's not about your political alliance, it's the fact that you're a worker that matters.
And if you're mad, your priorities are all fucked up.
Well, it is about your political alliances, but those are class politics, right?
Everybody in this country is obsessed with partisan politics.
Partisan politics, you know, color politics, as in red or blue or whatever, it's not politics.
That is entertainment.
What we're talking about here with Tucker Carlson's TV show, or with AOC's image, or the things that AOC says on TikTok or Twitter, they might be nice, good things, they're still entertainment.
At the best, it's like information that you can use or an inspiring message like you read in a book somewhere, right?
It's not politics, okay?
And I would say this about any politician.
I would say this about fucking Bernie Sanders.
I would say this about Ilhan Omar, Rashida Tlaib, both of whom I like more than AOC.
Not that it matters.
But I would say this about, you know, all you have is your actions.
As, as a politician, like you're only as good as your last act, as the last thing you did.
And it's like, I don't, I'm, I'm never going to meet AOC.
You know, AOC doesn't, you know, she's not my, she's not my representative anyway, but you know what I mean?
Like, that's not what matters to me.
What matters to me is what we can achieve for working people.
And if she's not helping, then she needs to start helping or just, she needs to stop caring that people are saying she's not helping.
It's just not relevant.
They need to move on.
Fuck off.
We just need people to get treated right at work.
So Andrew Lawrence says, yeah, this isn't it about the screenshot, which is amazing to me.
Yeah.
So Andrew Lawrence is a Media Matters for America.
guy, and if you're not familiar, Media Matters for America is ostensibly like a anti-Fox News, anti-right-wing media fact checker slash like signal booster for what, you know, Fox News is doing, like the crazies on Fox News, right?
They're like Minion Death Cult, but as an apparatus for the Democratic Party.
They are 100%, you know, Tied to the Democratic Party.
So, of course, you know, being a media liberal tied to the Democratic Party, Christian Smalls going on the most popular network in the country, on Fox News, the most popular show in cable news, is worse.
Outweighs anything he could have possibly done, you know, for the hundreds of workers at that At that plant.
You know, that's beside the point.
What you did here was, you know, what you did here was wrong.
And this isn't to defend Tucker Carlson either, because fuck Tucker Carlson.
Obviously.
But again, he's an entertainer.
He wouldn't exist in the way that he does if America weren't already so fucked up.
You can't blame Tucker Carlson for the way this country is, right?
Also, he did a good job.
I mean, people got caught up about, like, you shouldn't give credit to Tucker Carlson.
But the thing is, I haven't seen many people handle Tucker Carlson as well as he did.
He was great on there.
Um, and you know, another thing I also want to get out of the way about this post I think is really funny is, um, this is kind of the problem with, like, libs, right?
Is, like, they don't realize, uh, like the, like, they're, they're such idiots, too.
Like, he says, yeah, this isn't it.
Which is, like, a whitewash version of, like, the, yeah, of, yeah, that it, you know, like, that ain't it, sis.
Like, that ain't it.
And it's so funny that he's using this to, like, critique Like a black man.
It's just so funny.
Fuck you.
I don't give a fuck what you think he is.
But he did it the right way.
He did it the right way.
He didn't use A-A-V-E.
Yeah, this isn't it.
I hate it so much.
Fuck you.
Mind your goddamn business.
Uh, the interview, the actual interview, yeah, I just, I watched a little bit of it.
Tucker Carlson tried to say, you know, AOC wasn't there for you, this, that, and the other.
And he was like, yeah, but nobody, nobody was, you know, and we, we had to do this on our own and this is how we did it.
And this is why we did it.
This is why this is, this is good.
And Tucker Carlson fucking ends this interview and I don't watch, you know, much of Tucker because I just I get it in its purest form in, you know, the politics of everybody else on Facebook.
They give the synthesized version.
But he says something like, yeah, why don't you call AOC and tell her that you can't feed your families?
And then he does like this Joker laugh, this like high pitched, maniacal laugh.
One of the most insane things I've seen on TV.
And what's really funny is how Chris Maul sits there and that doesn't affect him at all.
He's so good.
He deals with the lag between both of them really good.
He just stops talking.
He doesn't trail on.
He just stops talking and waits for Tucker to respond.
I'll also say him going on Tucker Carlson to, you know, okay, so I've never been a union organizer, right?
I've been a member of a union for fucking 15 years.
I've been a Teamster for 15 years.
I've never been on the actual organizing side of a union.
I can't tell you what the benefit of Chris Smalls going on Tucker Carlson is.
It's not really my place to second guess the guy who successfully organized a fucking Amazon warehouse, right?
So, like, I tweeted about this, I posted about this, and people were asking me, like, what's the point, though, of him going on there?
And it's like, I don't know.
Do you know?
You know, I know.
I know that people who are not happy and satisfied with their jobs And who have a passion and maybe are having conversations already at work might be watching this.
I don't care who they are.
Shitty people get paid bad at their jobs too and we're not going to get paid right unless they get paid right also.
And like if someone sees this and sees that this is a possibility or an option and it maybe de-stigmatizes and kind of doesn't demonize unions, that's the benefit.
That's fucking awesome.
It's more than all these motherfuckers on keyboards are doing.
Right and a lot of like the faux right populism now like what Tucker Carlson does is explicitly aimed at what they're calling woke corporations you know like Amazon or like Twitter or Silicon Valley in general never mind the fact that most of those people are like libertarian freaks like absolute deranged blood-sucking right-wing insane people
And if you're watching this and you hate Jeff Bezos because he's on the opposite side of the culture war and you think that means he's socialist or whatever, and then you see actual working people being like, hey, here's how we can fuck with Jeff Bezos.
We're gonna do a union.
Maybe instead of the responses that we were covering on the episode last week with Brett, where people had to reckon with the fact that one thing they didn't like was up against another thing they didn't like, Maybe instead they see unions as a positive.
They're like, hey, exactly, this is how we can own our tech overlords, which really it is.
It's the only way to do it.
So, oh, and I just quickly wanted to say Chris Smalls, a union organizer, somebody who's actually got a political project, somebody who's actually doing, you know, real work, not to use a cliche, is different than like somebody going on Tucker to promote their sub stack.
Or like their new column, like, it's not the same at all.
Yeah, yeah, absolutely, yeah.
But anyway, okay, so yeah, the next tweet, he says, a lot of people are missing my point, so I'll be even a little more clear.
Tucker Carlson is a hateful bigot, yep, and he uses his program every night to spread his hateful bigotry, yep.
Someone like Smalls appearing on his show only gives Tucker credibility he doesn't deserve.
You know that thing when a black man wearing chains and a bandana comes on your show and everyone's like, oh, you know what?
This is credibility here.
You know how that works?
Fuck off, dude.
Yeah, you know what?
I'm a Fox News viewer, but I've always been on the fence about watching Tucker tonight or whatever the fuck his show is called.
But now, what is it?
It looks like, what?
Tucker's been invited to the cookout?
Oh, shit.
I'm gonna check it out.
Maybe I'll give him a chance.
Maybe he does have the sauce.
Maybe he does in fact have the sauce.
I love the idea that Christian Smalls is giving Tucker Carlson a platform.
Insane shit.
Your mind is broken.
Irreparably damaged.
From the internet, from partisan politics, whatever.
You're gone.
I don't think he had any internet presence before organizing.
You know, it's like, fuck, what are you doing?
Get out of here.
Liberals are going to start drafting right-to-work legislation to disempower unions so that they can't platform problematic cable news hosts anymore.
Yeah, yeah.
We just don't think our union dues should be going to political organizations we don't agree with.
Like, you know, going on RT America.
Yeah, that's not cool.
You need to keep it a secret between us.
We can't let the agents find out about fair work practices.
We can't let them find out about that.
Furthermore, spare me the whole... This is the next tweet.
It gets better and better.
It's so amazing.
Furthermore, spare me the whole, quote, get the message out bullshit, dot, dot, dot.
On his best nights, Tucker has 1% of the population tuning in, dot, dot, dot.
I'd imagine it's the least likely to be swayed 1% of the population in America.
There are more effective, less harmful ways to get the message out.
Yeah, so you can't go on this program because of the irreparable damage it will do because of how many fascist eyeballs are on this program.
Also, there's no reason to go on because it's an irrelevant show with zero reach at all.
It's only 1% of the population.
What are you even wasting your time on this guy for?
And if you think that that's how messaging and propaganda work anymore, You're an idiot, because I'll tell you what, 1% of the total people who are going to be influenced by a Tucker Carlson message watched it on TV.
They didn't watch it on TV, they watched a clip of it on Facebook, on Twitter, on Instagram.
More people saw this segment than the normal viewership of Tucker, which is already giant.
Exactly.
Um, and then finally, this is the one where I was like, alright, yeah, let's do it.
Let's get into it.
Last tweet, Tucker Carlson is your enemy, and if you don't understand that, you have no idea what we're actually up against.
And I would like to say, yeah, maybe if you're a rival media pundit with a progressive liberal website that is your bread and butter, yeah, maybe Tucker Carlson's your number one enemy.
Maybe he's the evil foe that must be vanquished, right?
For the rest of us, our enemy is our boss.
For the rest of us, our enemy is our landlord.
For the rest of us, particularly people trying to organize a union inside the Amazon warehouse, you know who the enemy is?
It's the Democratic Party apparatus who tried to stop them from fucking doing that.
The same apparatus that you are embedded in.
I think working people know better who their fucking enemy is than a rival cable news or a rival political pundit on the internet does.
Yeah, exactly.
You're making it very clear that when you say who we're against, you're not talking about we.
You're not talking about us.
That is not my problem.
We literally love Tucker Carlson.
We love to laugh at our boy.
He is a great source of joy for us.
Like, fuck you, we have much bigger fish to fry.
And that is Jeff Bezos.
You know?
So yeah, fuck you, you idiot.
This is the thing, like, that people who've never been part of a union or people who aren't familiar with, like, class politics...
You don't go against the fucking union.
You don't go against the people who you have to be with.
Right?
And not all unions are good.
Some unions are bad.
You don't go against the union.
This is like going... Amazon is gonna take your shit and use it against him.
Use it against every single worker there.
Okay?
There's a hard and fast line.
You might not like everything Chris Smalls does.
You shut the fuck up about it.
Okay?
You're not on my team if you don't shut the fuck up about it.
Yeah, exactly.
And the thing is, like you said very well, if you have something to say about him, then go work for that union.
Because it is none of our business.
And that's the point of a union.
It makes it so that your work is your business.
It's a mechanical, and that's another thing that I will say that gets right to the heart of this motherfucker, Matt Dimitri, who I think is like a Twitch streamer or some shit.
He says, once again, Christian Smalls proves that he's an embarrassing liability to at Amazon Labor Union.
He should be immediately replaced or apologize.
I'm not going to be silent while he lets himself be used by Tucker Carlson to smear Representative Ocasio-Cortez.
And it's like... Wow.
Hey, Matthew?
Yeah?
Do something about it.
Yeah, please, go ahead.
Try.
Commit your life to it, my friend.
Go for it.
I'm not going to be silent.
Okay, yeah, scream and cry all you want, Matthew.
Yeah, what are you going to do?
Are you going to pull your Amazon shares you own?
Is that what you're going to do?
That's not how this shit works.
That's the funniest part of this, is they don't fucking understand what actual politics are.
Politics is what politician you like.
Yeah.
The politician's name that you defend with honor, you know?
Politics is what TV show you watch, or what TV show you refuse to watch.
Okay, no.
This is what actual politics is.
It's people who voluntarily organize together, and you know who their democratic leader is?
It's fucking Christian Smalls.
If you want to complain to the manager to get the union guy fired, Wait in line.
The management is already there, buddy.
Okay?
You can't appeal to the management because that's not how this shit works.
They already hate Christian Smalls way more than you ever could.
We should just embrace that and be like, yeah, you know what?
You shouldn't buy from Amazon anymore.
You should really stick it to them because Amazon allowed this union to happen and you should not support them.
Yeah, hello.
I'd like to speak to the manager of the union.
Who's in charge of this union?
Yeah.
I'd like to speak to the manager of the working class, please.
Please?
Oh my god, dude.
Yeah, so, um... No, that's what I said.
If you want Christian Smalls to be accountable to you, if you want to hold him to account, if you want to get to dictate what he says or how he operates in his capacity, Go work in the Amazon warehouse.
That's the only way you're gonna- That's an option, buddy.
Give up your fucking desk job at Media Matters for America and go piss in a bottle.
Okay?
If you want so badly to tell Christian Smalls he's doing the wrong thing, there's one way to do it.
That's how unions work.
Go fucking do it, man.
And also, him going on to Carlson does not affect his union's future bargaining.
It does not affect the way that members of the union are going to be paid or treated.
So, do what you want, man.
It's fine.
And Christian Smalls came out and he said, y'all worried about me when I'm worried about we.
And that's right.
That's good.
That's the perfect way to do it.
And you know what?
If the membership had a real problem with him going on Tucker Carlson, they would handle that internally.
I hope they didn't.
They realized that it wasn't... him going on Tucker Carlson wasn't like self-promotion or to do a... No.
Dude, I saw somebody calling this shit a red-brown alliance.
Shut the fuck... get off Twitter.
Honestly.
That's... ew.
Fuck.
That's awful.
I hate that so much.
And the thing is, you know... Was he... I don't know.
I didn't see how many interviews he's done or anything like that.
I don't think he's doing like a whole lot, you know?
No, they don't...
They don't want him on MSNBC.
Somebody said he's already been on there but I can't imagine it being much.
This story should be bigger than it is.
And let me just say the last thing I'll say is your favorite cable news network?
Is problematic.
Your faves are problematic.
Doesn't matter which one it is, they're all bad.
Brothers and sisters, non-binary folks, cable news is bad.
They're all fucking bad.
There's no good cable news network.
They do not exist.
They literally have too many investors.
It's not possible.
There's power in the factory, power in the land, power in the hand of the worker.
It all amounts to nothing if together we don't stand.
There is power in our union.
Now the lessons of the past were all learned with workers' blood.
The stakes of the bosses we must pay for.
Of the cities and the farmlands To trenches full of mud There's always been the bosses, why sir?
The union forever defending our rights Bound with the black leather we workers unite With our brothers and our sisters From many far off lands There is power in our union Yeah, okay, moving on.
There's another really important thing we gotta talk about here.
Very crucial, yeah.
So, Julian Lennon, son of John Lennon, thought, you know what, I gotta do some shit.
I gotta do something about this whole war in Ukraine shit.
Like, it's gone on long enough.
Yeah, yeah.
So he decided to perform Imagine.
And in the hopes that it would reunite the two frenemies of Russia and Ukraine.
Maybe make them see the bigger picture.
Hold on, I'm sorry.
Did you say Julian Lennon?
Julian.
Julian Lennon did Imagine?
That must be a typo because I distinctly remember Julian Lennon saying specifically he would never, he would never perform.
He would never perform Imagine unless it was the end of the world.
Well, I think you answered your own question, Tony.
Whoa.
Whoa.
It's funny, Julian Lennon, he looks like, he looks like a 60-year-old Clay Aiken.
That's a really good way of putting it.
He, yeah, um, he needs the Tony Hawk eyebrow procedure.
This is an opinion column from the Washington Post by Gary Abernathy.
Can't we, quote, imagine a better song for peace and harmony?
We're like, yeah, finally.
There's got to be another song about not doing war, right?
Well, I mean, yeah, I think that we can, but not when your dad's John Lennon and that's kind of like your whole thing.
Your kind of whole thing, is it?
I think that when you're John Lennon's son, then no, you can't imagine another one.
But yeah, like you and I could, we could probably make a playlist.
What if he did, what if he covered a different John Lennon song?
He could maybe even do it with his mom.
Yoko Ono, you know, in a real duet like the original, Ukraine is of the world.
Yeah, I think that would be amazing.
That would have some teeth to it.
I would say it, but I actually need an Asian woman to come on and say it for me in that context.
I can't say it that way.
The subtitle here is, Julian Lennon's performance for Ukraine was a nice thought, but the song isn't.
Yes, finally taking that fucking Imagine song down a peg or two.
Yeah.
It's been a long time coming.
We're all annoyed by the song.
I'm ready for it.
You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one.
I hope someday you'll join us and the world will be as one.
Who can argue with that?
Well, not me.
World peace.
Kumbaya.
Words from John Lennon's iconic 1971 composition, so just going to the thesaurus immediately, Imagine, have been top of mind lately thanks to his son Julian, who recently performed the song for the first time in response to the unimaginable tragedy in Ukraine.
They have been top of my mind.
Like, I can't look anywhere without seeing Julian Lennon playing Imagine.
It's everywhere.
It broke the internet.
The only time I would ever consider singing Imagine, he wrote on YouTube, would be if it was the end of the world.
Wow, pretty big flub from him, I would say, because it's definitely supposed to be if it were the end of the world.
I try to give him better credit than that, but yeah.
The songs, apparently he decided, you know, enough was enough.
This is the end of the world.
It very well could be.
The song's haunting melody and refrain Evoke Utopia for many, which has made it a go-to track for dark periods from protest movements to the pandemic to the current conflict in Europe.
Wow, real workhorse of a song, Tony.
Yeah.
And again, everywhere I went, I heard Imagine.
I remember in the midst of the George Floyd protests, I remember hearing people playing Imagine.
If someone played Imagine, I would break their stereo.
They're all, sorry, I meant to do Marvin Gaye.
What's going on?
Oh, no, my bad, my bad, my bad.
Too late.
Oh, shit.
No, I meant to do Stop Children.
What's that sound?
Oh, fuck.
You know the one.
You know the one.
But imagine, as beautiful as it sounds, has always disturbed me.
Okay so you're like again yeah it's a really annoying song hate to hear it it's just been overplayed and there's kind of like a it's kind of like a what is the word like a fallow sort of you know nothing total absence of politics in there just wouldn't it be cool if things were good yeah can't we just make it not yeah
See right here I thought he was gonna go down a path of talking about how this is like a snowflake song and how like we can't think about that anymore because like that's just not gonna happen like we can't be cooked and coddled.
I thought that's where he was gonna go with this.
So I was a little surprised when it went.
Well, let's see where it goes.
Imagine, as beautiful as it sounds, has always disturbed me with its overly anti-religion, unpatriotic recipe for, quote, living life in peace.
Now, like most people, I love the Beatles, you know?
Who doesn't?
Whom amongst us hasn't waltzed into your favorite giant conglomerate bookstore and picked up a piece of wax, you know?
The Beatles' yellow submarine on freshly minted 180 gram vinyl, taking it up to the register and being like, these guys, you know?
This is the one.
This is the one, yeah.
Is this the one I need?
I heard a lot about this guy.
Is this the one I need?
Can I get the one with all the dismembered baby parts and blood on it?
Oh, that hasn't been sold for 70 years?
Okay, I was trying to make a point in one of my right-wing Facebook groups.
Dang it.
Dang it.
Oh man, that's a great bomb to drop about, you know, the pedo-satanic panic going on right now.
Drop in that Beatles cover of them covered in blood and dismembering toy babies.
Yeah, that would be good.
I like that.
It's been right in front of us the whole time.
And then we can cancel the Beatles now.
If we could cancel Paul McCartney, that'd be cool.
Let's see if we can get Paul McCartney, John Lennon.
Can we?
Let's see if we can reunite the classic writing duo.
I love Paul McCartney actually.
I've been waiting for a hologram Paul McCartney actually.
I'm a bigger Wings fan than a Beatles fan.
Is that a real statement?
That's a real statement.
Okay.
I've listened To Wings albums more than I've ever listened to a Beatles album.
I don't think I've ever actually listened.
Maybe, like, the Revolver.
Maybe I listened to, like, the White Album a couple times through, but... Wings all the way, baby Jet!
Sure.
Come on.
Sure.
Uh-huh.
I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I don't know, I'm, I'm, I'm not a huge Wings fan.
Uh, I, I couldn't tell you a song.
Um, uh, you know.
Let, Let Em In?
Uh-huh.
Classic civil rights song.
Uh-huh.
1985.
Don't know that song.
Don't know the song.
So good.
He's good, folks.
Paul McCartney's good.
You know I don't listen to any music made by white people ever.
Well, they stole a lot of it from black people, though, so it's okay to listen.
It's cool to listen to.
From what I understand, he just borrowed it.
He just borrowed it.
So that's cool.
Yeah, he gave it back when he sold the rights to Michael Jackson.
Nice.
That was really nice of him.
Now, like most people, I love the Beatles.
And I love a lot of the music the former members of the Beatles made as solo artists.
This guy's a real music head.
Yeah.
Real beat head.
That's what it's called, right?
Yeah.
I've read biographies of John Lennon.
Dumb.
Why?
He was a creative genius and a quirky, interesting person.
And like a lot of artists, a tortured soul.
His death at the hands of an assassin was a tragic loss.
I would have liked to have seen what further contributions he would have made to the world of music.
You know, I'm going to agree to half of that.
Maybe they would have been more agreeable than this one.
Quote, imagine there's no heaven.
It's easy if you try.
The song opens.
Not a happy thought for Christians and members of other religions who put their hopes in the belief of an eternal afterlife.
We don't want to imagine no heaven.
Why would we try?
Why did, why, what good was drowning my daughters in the bathtub if there's no heaven?
I distinctly remember my grandma, when this song came on, she was like, turn that off!
Turn that- I will not have any imagining of no heaven.
That is disgusting.
Is that real?
No.
Oh, okay.
Because I do see that.
I see that take from time to time.
No way.
Yeah, that it's like a socialist anthem or whatever.
And this is like the more milquetoast version, but I'm glad to see it in like op-ed form.
It's very nice.
Yeah.
I've heard it being praised as a socialist song but I've never heard like a conservative be like I hate that song because it's telling me to like be happy.
People did a like when it came out there was a radio edit of the song That said, and one religion too, instead of and no religion too.
Whoa!
So that Christians could imagine that he was singing about, yeah, the one true God.
I would be furious, I would be furious.
Yeah, Jim Morrison wouldn't put up with that shit.
No way, no way, and didn't, and didn't.
Yeah.
CAA or not, he stuck to his principles of being really drunk and high and eating a lot of good food.
I did remember that.
A lot of good food.
I love that.
Christians, we don't want to imagine no heaven.
Why else are we being good on this earth?
Then what do we do?
No, there's got to be a pot of gold.
No hell below suggests the next line.
Well, yes, I have to admit that would be nice.
It sounds like somebody's second-guessing their own religion.
Actually, you sound like you're trying to cheat, really.
I believe there's a word for that.
It's called blasphemy.
And you're not going to the hell that you believe in, so play it yourself.
Well, yes, I have to admit that would be nice, but if there's a heaven, dot, dot, dot, then yeah, there's gotta be a hell.
We want there to be a heaven, so we have to admit that we also want there to be a hell, because we're consistent in our beliefs.
Later, the song suggests we imagine, quote, nothing to kill or die for.
Aren't some things worth dying for?
Many have died for our freedoms!
You tell me!
What would you die for?
I'd hate to imagine where we'd be if they had it.
That's really what I think John Morrison was writing this song about.
He was writing, wouldn't it be great if freedom weren't good enough to die for?
That's totally what he meant when he wrote this fucking baby-level song.
Maybe freedom's overrated.
Maybe we don't need to die for it.
Maybe that's what he's saying.
Maybe we could just stay the way we are.
The name of the song is literally Imagine.
It's a song written for stoned babies about how what if the world was nice.
And you're like, the song's telling me to imagine, but can I?
I don't think so.
I don't think so.
I don't think I have that capability.
I am an op-ed writer for the Washington Post, actually.
Well, I mean, like, think about it, though.
Like, what if they were going to do thought crimes in this song?
What if they told you, like, imagine, like, a crime or, like, think about something unwholesome?
Yeah.
What if they start talking about peepees in the middle of it?
And you had to start imagining peepees?
What if the song told me to do a crazy dance that made me look foolish, you know?
Step by step, just sowing my own fate with each line of the song.
No thank you.
You joke, you joke, but I mean there's got to be something sinister behind why the cha-cha slide's still around.
Because the Macarena did not have the sustainability that the Cha-Cha Slide had, but the Cha-Cha Slide's still happening, so I think something is sinister in that song.
I think that we might... I mean, I think it's harmless, whatever it is, but there's nothing... that's not natural to still enjoy that song.
Well, the Macarena is a good wholesome dance song, and you know that because they did release a Christmas version of it.
True.
So in the world of Macarena, there's no imagining that there's no religion.
They know which is the good one.
Yeah, you know which is the good one.
Have you heard the Christmas Macarena?
No.
That's amazing.
It's the same exact song, but with sleigh bells behind it.
And then they sing like, joy to the world, joy to the world.
There's like that beat still behind it.
Amazing.
And then it just goes back to the Macarena.
You know it does.
That rules.
I guess that's the outro song.
This is scary stuff here.
But what if I want to kill people?
What if there are things I want to kill people over?
What if the thing I live for is the right to kill people?
What if I want to kill people for things such as not being in a home?
Whoa dude, you know what?
You saying that people shouldn't kill people is pretty xenophobic of you, actually.
Some cultures have been doing it forever, so maybe think about that.
Uh, and no religion too, it dreams.
Again, many of us think religion is a good thing.
Well, you think your religion is a good thing.
Yeah.
Just like, quote, countries are for those of us who are proud of ours.
What?
What?
No, they're for everybody who has to fuck, has to live in them.
Okay, that's what a country is for.
No one's choosing, no one's choosing country.
No one's like going, Can I have some country, please?
No, you just have to be part of it.
That's why, again, the song is called Imagine.
Because you have the reality you want.
I really hate that this piece is making me suck John Lennon's dick a little bit.
But I have to, despite this guy.
And for those of us who are proud of ours, and quote, possessions, for those of us who believe in the bedrock concept of private property.
Yeah, again, he says possessions, which is stupid.
Everybody needs possessions.
You gotta have underwear and shit, right?
Tony?
Yeah, I guess.
Maybe pick another item.
I can deal with that underwear.
This author here, Abernathy, he's doing the classic error of conflating private property with personal property.
Whereas private property is used in a capitalistic endeavor, such as owning a business or a factory privately and exploiting the labor of others in order to actually produce something with that property.
Personal property, like where you live or your personal items, you know, like this really nice cider I'm drinking right now, those are all fine.
I think John Lennon would be okay with me enjoying this cider.
You know how I knew that cider was good?
Oh, that's different cider.
You had something else earlier that looks good too, though.
Oh, yeah.
The other one was the Habanero cider.
The bottle looked nice.
Yeah, the label fell off, so they did a handwritten label on it.
Nice.
That's tight, yeah.
It was a one out of one, handwritten label.
That's how you know it's good.
Yeah.
Imagine, as beautiful as it is, contains troubling imagery for anyone who cares about faith, patriotism, and capitalism.
And again, it's like, this is what they have to argue about.
They have to argue about the imagery evoked in a 40-year-old song That's contrary to the actual reality we have right now, which is the reality that you like.
Yeah, yeah.
So you're literally reaching back 40 years to a fictional song about imagining something better and being like, I think we need to do better than this.
It's like, no, we did.
We did the thing you wanted and it's awful for most people.
I'm going to force this guy to listen to a Rambo song so he has to think about committing murder.
He's going to be forced to kill someone in his mind.
I was sitting there and before I knew him, I killed his cousin right in front of him.
And at that moment, I knew I was untouchable.
And it felt awful.
Listen, I was a big fan of the Fear song, I Don't Care About You, when it was making fun of homeless people.
But when Despise You covered it and talked about laughing at cops dying in the streets, that wasn't cool.
I think we can all agree that that's inappropriate for a song to sing about.
And I feel bad, and I feel bad for thinking that thought.
So now I actually have to donate to the local police department.
So look what you did.
That Despise You cover is so fucking good.
Hard.
Like, Fear is like a, you know, problematic fave.
They got some pretty good songs.
But that Despise You cover, which is just called Fear's Song, I believe, so funny.
It rips so hard.
Hard.
That's actually an outro song.
I think I might have already used it in an episode.
I think you probably have.
Okay.
Imagine, as beautiful as it is, contains troubling imagery for anyone who cares about faith, patriotism, and capitalism.
And really, we don't have to imagine this world.
We've seen it.
It's called socialism.
Yes, I know, religion has caused countless wars throughout the centuries, and so much of our social and political divide is centered on religious differences.
There are those who think we'd all just be better off without any belief in God, and maybe in a world without countries, what would otherwise be Ukraine and Russia could coexist harmoniously.
For anyone who feels that way, imagine is for you.
Parentheses, had John Lennon lived, I think he would have been right at home in the modern social justice movement.
Okay.
You think that's... Is that what you think?
Actually, I think he wouldn't be.
I think he was supposed to be, but I don't think he would be if he was still around.
You know what would happen?
John Lennon would get on stage.
He'd give a sort of rambling, vague speech about how we needed to love one another and just all overcome hatred.
And then, in order to lighten up the crowd, he would do a funny impression of a mentally and physically disabled person on stage.
Yep, yep.
Would probably immediately hard pivot to centrist Washington Post posting.
And it would be successful.
It'd be successful.
I am just not one of those people.
For several years, Imagine appeared to be the unofficial anthem of New Year's Eve in New York, just before or after the Big Bulger.
Like, this should tell you how ineffectual it is.
Like the fucking epicenter of American capitalism and even global capitalism really is blasting this hollow fucking song every single year apparently.
I didn't know about that.
Yikes.
What a nightmare.
And you know there is some like Wall Street like psycho who listens to it and thinks to themselves like, yeah and it will never happen and they'll keep making money.
That's why I love the fact the name of this song is Imagine.
Tony, you're saying that nothing's ever gonna happen just because they played the Imagine before the ball dropped?
I think you're forgetting about how they put that little girl statue standing up to the bull statue on Wall Street?
Oh, you know what?
I did forget about that, actually.
Yeah, okay.
Well, you know, we'll take your apology off the air if necessary.
But did they put it in front of the Crypto Bull?
Have they put anything in front of the Crypto Bull yet?
It's funny that the crypto bull has no testicles.
Did you see that?
It's a gelding.
Yeah, which I respect it.
I respect it.
Well, you know, you see no testicles.
I see no vulnerability.
No distractions.
Yeah, because you got to suck them up inside of you.
Yeah.
And that's how you protect yourself.
I remember thinking that if the world was going to end, I always feel a sense of foreboding on New Year's Eve, like this might be it.
Yep god damn dude so you're able to imagine that you're able to imagine the annihilation of the entire human human population life on earth etc but not a stateless classless society but no that's the problem is that he does have a sensitive imagination that this is a really freaky song for him It's like when you thought you were at the promorphic plane.
That happens every single time he hears Imagine.
He thinks, he's like, well, I'm a plane now.
Imagine was the perfect song to signify a final surrender to a godless humanistic world.
That's so optimistic.
Then I think that more bands would cover that song.
And I'll make it punishing.
Just the idea that America is at all godless.
It's so silly.
I mean, come on.
What day is it today, folks?
It's on the money, bro.
The fact that I know what day it is on this Sunday is an affront to everything godless in this country.
I shouldn't even know what day it is today.
You shouldn't, no.
You should be confused.
You should be upset later on because you thought it was still Saturday.
You know, but you were reminded so forcefully that today is Sunday.
Day of our Lord.
Easter Sunday.
Okay.
Did you get any eggs?
But if the light at the end of the tunnel is one of these lyrics, I'm not sure I want to step into it.
Imagine that.
Okay.
Cool.
So the scary thing is that he's, I think he's worried that if he dies while listening to that song, then he can't get into heaven.
Yeah.
So that is pretty scary.
I get that.
Man, that would be sick, yeah, to just be able to, like, snatch someone's lifelong devotion to a religion away from them by, yeah.
This is, I mean, okay, yeah, we should start, when we do the eventual, you know, when we join up with our Muslim brothers and sisters and do the eventual jihad on American citizens, what we do is we take records of John Lennon's Imagine and we boil them down, you know, until they're liquid wax.
We dip our .357 in the wax.
Take that!
Gary Abernathy, straight to hell.
Yep.
You're gonna take some imagination.
Oh, you want some little side of imagination with these bullets?
Make it sting instantly.
Yeah, straight to hell.
This is a joke, folks.
Not gonna do that.
Just for legal purposes.
Also, we would never waste a precious pressing of the song Imagination.
The song Imagination.
Our favorite song Imagination.
Our favorite pressing of the song Imagination.
By Jim Lensley.
Moving on.
Okay.
Final thing we got to talk about.
You know, there's so much stuff we got to talk about because just stuff is happening all the time.
This is the most important thing we have to talk about today.
This is the most important one.
Folks, they canceled the T-Rex.
Fuck, no!
He's gone.
He's not.
No.
He's gone.
It's like he didn't even exist.
The one we all saw with our very own eyes in 1993 on big screens everywhere, they're trying to tell you not to believe your own eyes.
If you read 1984, exactly.
Out of that book.
So, hold on.
Are you telling me that it doesn't exist?
Or that it won't not see me if I stay still?
Oh, all- none of it's real, according to the wokest.
No, no, no!
Goddamn wokes, they cancelled the T-Rex.
So this is an article from the U.S.
Sun.
I saw this in multiple places, but I will credit Brendan for sharing it into the Facebook group.
Thank you so much, Brendan.
Thank you to everybody who participates in that group and doesn't get into arguments with each other over very petty, bad faith interpretations of what the other person is saying.
Love you folks.
Okay.
The U.S.
Sun posted an article.
This is like, uh, I guess the American version of that awful British tabloid.
Yeah.
So, you know, it's even somehow even worse.
Okay.
PC Rex is the top line.
Beautiful.
Beautiful.
Love it already.
You know, I haven't heard PC in a while.
I like PC.
Sir David Attenborough's BBC One Dinosaur Show presents softer, quote, woke version of the T-Rex!
No!
No!
Not a woke T-Rex!
Dude, it's so funny that I just realized that, yeah, this is the U.S.
sun.
It's going straight to the fucking hog trough.
It's going straight to America to complain about a BBC One dinosaur show, which if you're not familiar with, BBC stands for British Barristers Company, you know, British Broadcasting Company.
So it's over there.
It's a show that's over there that we don't even see, you know, unless you're using some illegal software in order to hide your location.
That's why I get illegal software, so I can watch that.
But it's like, hey, this show, Americans, this show that you're never actually going to watch because you wouldn't watch it anyway, but you can't watch it for the most part.
Still gotta get mad about it, right?
Which is good.
You still want to get mad about it, don't you?
That's the best stuff to cover, though, because they can't really be like... We can't prove them wrong.
That's what I'm saying, though.
Nobody would fucking watch this anyway to prove them wrong.
Let's get into why the T-Rex is now woke-ified.
Oh, it's non-binary now.
Uh-oh.
The T-Rex, it chose not to paint its nails pink anymore.
That's actually what the T stands for?
Woke Beeb Bosses, so Beeb is apparently the nickname for BBC, excuse me, for BBC.
I like that.
I'm really into Beeb.
Woke Beeb Bosses are to reframe the reputation of the terrifying Tyrannosaurus Rex, claiming the raptor has had a bad rap.
That's not good, because if you do that, if you soften the identity of the T-Rex, people are just going to start letting him around their kids.
And before you know it, we're going to have a real T-Rex problem from the inside.
Well, you soften the image of the T-Rex.
You know, hard dinosaurs lead to good times, but then good times lead to soft dinosaurs, and then soft dinosaurs create hard times, you know?
It's called the Kaliukis.
Look it up, folks.
I've only heard of this.
This makes sense.
The prehistoric predator, which features in classic movies, including Jurassic Park.
Oh, okay.
Noted.
Noted.
The thing is, the thing is, now that I think about it, I actually kind of do need a list, because I can really only think of like a couple.
We're Back, A Dinosaur Tale?
Oh shit, yeah, that's a good one.
I think that's a good one.
What's the one with the little... Land Before Time?
Oh, The Land Before Time with Littlefoot, but that's not what I was gonna say, but that's also a correct answer.
No, the one with the little dinosaurs.
Wasn't it just called Dinosaurs, or am I just thinking of the show?
Well, there's... I just watched... I actually just watched The Good Dinosaur last night.
That one holds up.
That's a cute movie.
Huge flop for Pixar, though.
Huge flop.
That's, like, probably their worst performing movie of all time.
I think so, yeah.
Their joke about making the... their, like, kind of joke about making the dinosaur look cartoonish, I think, backfired.
But it's also super sad.
It's also really sad.
It might just be Disney.
I think it's just Disney, yeah.
But it's good.
After they had already taken over Pixar.
Yeah.
No, the one with the little dinosaur.
The little, like, action figure-sized dinosaurs that are actually alive.
It's like The Indian in the Cupboard, but it's dinosaurs.
I don't know.
Anyway.
Yeah.
I'll think about that.
Another dinosaur movie.
Oh!
Tammy and the T-Rex.
I don't know why he didn't cite that one.
Paul Walker.
Dang.
Playing a T-Rex.
That's Paul Walker playing a T-Rex?
Yeah.
I didn't know that.
Maybe Denise Richards in that movie too?
I haven't watched it in a long time.
What's the one with Whoopi Goldberg?
Yeah, that's... shit.
It's her name.
She's a cop and her sidekick is the T-Rex.
I haven't seen that one in a long time.
Yeah.
I don't think it, it probably doesn't have a good name if we can't, I think it's like the name of her character.
But also, real quick though, the only one that is having like a realistic depiction of a T-Rex though.
Theodore Rex.
Theodore Rex, there you go.
Like the only movie that has like a realistic scary T-Rex, there's not very many where it's like Not just a cartoonish representation of it.
Well, in We're Back, A Dinosaur Tale, the main character, Nice T-Rex, gets hypnotized into being his animalistic, masculine, alpha male version of a T-Rex.
And guess what?
He's the bad guy now!
Just because you're suddenly the actual king of the lizards, that makes you a bad guy.
Wow.
I just realized that Zootopia just knocked word back.
Dude, that's the plot of Zootopia also.
Taking animals back to their predator selves.
Whoa.
Yeah, yeah.
And that's, you know, everybody's saying like...
Look what they stole from you.
You know, all those fascists who are like, look at this Coca-Cola ad.
This is what they stole from you.
You used to be able to look at this Coca-Cola ad.
Now you can't.
Now you can't do it anymore.
This thing you're looking at, you can't look at it.
That's what they're doing with Zootopia.
They're trying to say, hey, when you do look at that Coca-Cola ad, actually that blonde, robust man was devouring his own children.
That's what it was.
Okay, classic movies, including Jurassic Park, yeah so the dinosaur movie, is to receive what the Beeb calls a quote, more rounded treatment in dinosaurs the final day.
Through the magic of CGI.
See?
And that's where they get you.
They gotta fake this shit because it's just not real.
This is how you know it's their agenda, is because they're using fucking CGI to fake it.
These deepfakes have gotten out of hand.
This is a T-Rex deepfake.
Bullshit.
And you know what?
I saw this shit on Facebook.
Did you think any fact checkers confirmed that it was actually fake footage?
No.
Disgusting.
Disgusting.
The documentary features host Sir David Attenborough coming face-to-face with a gentler version of the dreaded T-Rex.
Oh, what if the T-Rex had dreads, Tony?
That... You know what?
Then you know it'd be chill.
Then you know it'd be chill.
You know?
Because I've never been like stoned and wanted to fight anybody, you know?
I mean, we're treading pretty closely to John Lennon territory, but I think if we got the T-Rex a little bit high...
Yeah, maybe if you got the T-Rex a little bit high, this is the way to go.
Imagine all the T-Rexes.
What if the asteroid was just an attempt to hotbox the T-Rexes?
Well, see, you don't know your own dosage.
You gotta be careful with that shit.
Oh no, there was fentanyl in the asteroid.
No, because, okay, so as we'll learn, T-Rexes are coded as male.
They used to be, at least, when they were the fucking king of lizards.
I'm sorry, obviously the T-Rexes are all dudes.
Obviously they're all dudes.
And also, obviously, the T-Rexes are all white.
And that's why they're being targeted by woke media, of course.
But, if you were to give the T-Rex dreadlocks And also, like, make it chill out.
A bunch of black people would be super mad because it would be white dreads.
So it would be win-win, I think.
It would balance out.
Yeah, that's a double negative.
That's how that works.
Director Matthew Thompson said, predators often get a bad rap on TV as they're shown as eating machines, as if that's all they really do.
Yeah, wow.
And it's like, they're always talking about what you're eating and they're never talking about why you're eating, you know?
We want to show different sides to the creatures and come up with some storylines that are a little bit different and a little bit gentler.
So, okay let me just finish this because there's not much left.
Executive producer Helen Thomas also wanted to counteract the image of the dinosaurs by showing how mundane their lives were when they weren't ripping each other's throats out.
She said, quote, predators tend to just fight all the time and we wanted to show them pooing.
Okay, that's important.
Because in Jurassic Park we got to see the poo.
We didn't get to see them poo.
There was also a Stegosaurus who pooed, I believe, so I'm not really that interested in that.
But real quick though, I'm pretty sure that Stegosauruses are just like, that's a lady T-Rex, right?
Because all T-Rexes are dudes, and Stegosauruses are kind of sexy, so that must be what a lady T-Rex looks like, right?
You got sexiness out of it?
Yeah, I think that's what it is, right?
It's either a Stegosaurus or a pterodactyl.
I think maybe a pterodactyl is a lady T-Rex?
I see a Stegosaurus as like a linebacker who gets really mad and takes off their helmet and swings it at the referee.
Oh, it gets really mad, but takes off their helmet and it falls in slow motion.
It's like when they take their hair out.
Yeah, I'm into the Stegosaurus.
Still an herbivore, though, I believe.
Not as masculine.
I'm like, yeah, they're kind of built like a Stegosaurus.
Yeah, alright.
Okay, so...
Predators often get a bad rap on TV as they're shown as eating machines, as if that's all they really do.
Okay, so we have the conflation here, not just, I mean literally, it's not a conflation, it's the literal fact that T-Rex was a predator, right?
And so in the masculine American mindset, to be male, their masculine selves, one of the representations of that is as a predator.
Yeah.
Okay.
Now, they might not agree with the definition of predator, what sort of connotation you might want to put on that sort of thing, such as when we saw fucking David Mamet go on Fox News to declare that you couldn't trust male school teachers because they're trying to groom you, you know, tapping into the groomer mindset
Or the groomer scandal about how teachers are trying to groom your children and his explanation was, yeah, you can't trust these school teachers because they're men and are therefore predators.
And Tucker Carlson's like, yeah, absolutely.
All men are predators.
All of them are.
100%.
Wow.
But, I believe in their self-image, even though they describe themselves as predators, they're talking about like, oh, I'm a sheepdog.
Right?
No, I'm thinking like a lion.
Or a lion, but you are defending something.
Even though you're a predator, you are defending something.
You are protecting the flock.
You know, you see the sheepdog thing in these, like, police Blue Lives Matter Facebook groups, that they're the sheepdog going after the wolves, right, to protect the flock.
And yeah, we also hate the sheep.
I don't know, I don't know why we're using that as an argument, but... But like, but the thing is though, is that if a wolf would you know that it was just a sheepdog?
Sheepdogs would not be effective at all, and like they're telling us you're a sheepdog, so... Uh, have you ever gotten between, tried to get between a sheepdog and a sheepdog puppy?
Forget about it.
That's true.
It's true.
I'm also not a wolf.
I'd be a badass wolf though.
Uh, it's redundant, I think.
You're being stupid, man.
You don't have to say that.
We know that.
If you're a wolf, we know you'd be badass.
But what I'm saying is, with this long-winded, all I wanted to say was...
The idea of being a predator isn't just that you're a mindless killing machine, at least in the generous, charitable definition of the word predator.
It's like, oh, you're on your grind to protect what's yours, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
You're a capable killing machine.
You're a purposeful killing machine.
Right?
Yeah.
And that's all this fucking documentary would be showing, is like, oh they also raise children, or they also like, you know, have a home life, or whatever they're gonna fucking show in this.
If they eat one berry, if they eat one berry.
But they're like, no, my masculinity is tied up in this idea of a predator, which I'm all confused about.
And if you show that T-Rex, like, even laying down to sleep, that's gonna fuck me up really badly.
Yeah.
Cause like, that means I could just go, like, if the T-Rex is asleep, I could just go fuck their kids.
I could just, the T-Rex, I could just fuck the T-Rex kids.
Like, if they're asleep, then that's, you know, you can't fall asleep.
And yeah, if you show them somehow pooping, no, I'm a guy who doesn't poop.
I'm actually the predator, and predators don't shit.
No, no.
Also, women don't shit.
Nobody shits.
I don't shit in time, like mid-fight.
It's the only time I shit is when I just release in the middle of a fight.
Yeah.
That's why I fight all the time.
And it's voluntary.
100%.
Exactly.
I found somebody who clarified Alpha Dinosaur mindset even better than The Sun America.
The Sun Patriot Edition did.
This guy's name is Simon Elliott and he's posting in a group called Vintage Dinosaur Pictures.
Well, they have to be vintage now.
Those are the only ones that aren't cucked.
okay guys simon writes so the new trailer for a tv series called prehistoric planet so just different different show that he's mad about yeah getting it all wrong was released a few days ago and just about every paleo nerd on youtube has been creaming themselves over the quote scientifically accurate depiction of the tyrannosaurus and raptors on the show which is narrated by david attenborough
so wow different show same motherfucker he's everywhere he turn up turning up like a bad penny me.
Seeing as I'm currently appealing an ideologically motivated permaban on Reddit and can't vent about it there, I'll share my thoughts here instead.
Wait, where are you sharing at that you can't share on Reddit?
We're on Facebook here, Tony.
Facebook is the Wild West compared to Reddit.
Yeah, I guess so.
Dude, what are you doing on Reddit?
I think if you're saying you're on the verge of getting banned on Reddit, whatever website you say that on, you should be banned from.
Well, he is banned from Reddit, but he's appealing it, so we're very interested to see how that goes.
Maybe we'll do a follow-up episode next week on this.
Yeah, I'm perma-banned on Reddit, so I thought, why not try my hand at getting banned on Facebook too?
I'll share my thoughts here instead, if mods will permit me to rant.
The pedantic obsession with scientific accuracy in our depictions of prehistoric life is taking all the fun out of our beloved dinosaurs.
Facts are getting in the way of my feelings, guys!
I understand that paleontologists don't want their field to be misrepresented, and that the entertainment industry believes it now has a responsibility to educate the public about such things.
But come on, just because one clade, is that a real word?
One clade of dinosaurs might have gone on to develop feathers, it probably is, this guy probably knows more about dinosaurs than me.
Yeah, sounds good, yeah.
That doesn't mean we have to stick feathers on every damn theropod.
Why would a creature as large as a Tyrannosaurus develop feathers anyway?
It wouldn't have any use for them.
This supposedly more accurate reconstructions look downright goofy compared to the reptilian aesthetic.
You're so stupid.
They don't even look cool anymore.
They put feathers on them.
I don't like feathers in their feathers.
I don't put them on my dinosaurs.
I like them with scales.
I don't like them to be mean looking.
Feathers are pretty.
I don't like them to be pretty because I need them to be tough and scary because I still get kind of scared of them sometimes because what if they come back and they come back and they have feathers and they're not going to be as scary as I want them to be.
Yeah, what is this?
Drag Queen Story Dinosaur Hour?
The Terror Lizard is gonna show up in a feather fucking boa?
I just know that if I was bigger, I wouldn't feel the need to look pretty.
If I could just be bigger, I wouldn't have this constant need to wear pretty things if I was bigger.
I love the idea, too.
It's like, he's got feathers, but why?
He's not gonna fucking fly.
This guy's always like, he goes to the zoo and just like, goes and yells at the ostriches and makes fun of them the whole day.
Why do you even have those?
You're so stupid.
You're just dumb little, you don't even fly, what a waste.
Yeah, he's like trying to, he's like trying to see the animatronics inside the ostrich.
He like doesn't believe it exists.
Yeah, it'd be a lot cooler if you had hair.
Honestly, the quote, I fucking love science types fawning over feathered dinosaurs makes me sick.
These are the same people who jizz their pants when they see a black woman with an afro in a cosmetics commercial.
What?
They know the rest of us hate it, and that's precisely why they love it.
What?
I'm sorry.
I don't know, I don't know how you don't understand the correlation between t-rexes with feathers and black women with afros on TV.
I thought we could just, I could just breeze right through that portion.
Yeah, I thought I could just go, I thought that's not gonna be a non-thing.
They just, oh you know, I hate it when they're in hair commercials.
I hate it.
No, it's cosmetic commercials.
Cosmetic commercials, yeah.
They have the other skin.
What do they need makeup for?
What am I supposed to buy that for?
This is not even for me.
This is stupid.
I would never have that.
Why do you have that afro?
You know you don't need an afro, right?
You're so big.
You know you're so big you don't need an afro.
I love it so much.
They know the rest of us hate it.
What?
Oh yeah, all of us.
We all hate this thing, brother.
Oh, the Vintage Dinosaur Picks crew.
Okay, yeah, yeah.
Right, guys?
We all fucking hate it when we see a black person on TV, right?
They know we hate it.
It's vintage and dinosaur pics.
It's vintage pics of, like, back when white women were in cosmetics photos.
And dinosaurs.
Man.
Yeah, the reason I look at vintage dinosaur pictures is because I saw a modern dinosaur picture, and you know what?
The fucking caveman on the back of the long neck was black, dude.
They didn't have black people back then.
Yeah, what are you talking about?
Why would that even be a thing?
Like, where am I now?
Now where am I?
You know, they take everything.
They take everything from... There used to be me in the leopard bikini on the back of the pterodactyl.
Yeah.
I used to be the one that assaulted my partner with a club.
That was me.
Yeah.
I love it, yeah, they know the rest of us hate it, and that's precisely why they love it.
Like all this LGBTQIA plus shit, it's all perverted, it's all degenerate, but the worst, the most perverted fetish that exists is the fetish that gets off making me watch interracial TV commercials.
That's the sickest identity there is.
Everything I do is not even for my pleasure, it's just to make him mad.
And he'd be furious.
Dinosaurs haven't been around for 65 million years.
They couldn't be less relevant.
So why is it suddenly so damn important for kids to grow up seeing the R-worded feathered depictions?
What?
You're an awful person.
You're not allowed to be around dinosaurs.
Dude, it's so funny.
You're on a fucking Facebook group called Vintage Dinosaur Pictures and your argument is that dinosaurs are too irrelevant to study as a scientific effort?
He's just like, hey, hey, no, just, I don't know how much, like, you're not winning any votes here, buddy.
You know, oh, all of us, we all hate seeing black women in cosmetic commercials, and we hate the science associated with dinosaurs, right?
Vintage dinosaur pictures.
And that's why I only look at vintage pictures.
No new pictures.
I hate new pictures.
This, actually, I, you know, I actually, uh, really don't like Jurassic Park.
Yeah.
That's not quite vintage but you know I can't wait for five years from now when it's vintage and then I'm gonna get really into Jurassic Park.
Just the pictures of it though.
Okay.
Why is it suddenly so damn important for kids to grow up seeing the blanked feathered depictions?
Quote, oh my god a dromaeosaur without feathers if little Jimmy sees this he might die.
No, Little Jimmy grew up seeing photos of dinosaurs without feathers and managed not to write a five-paragraph post whining about it on Facebook.
It's fine.
Little Simon, however... You know what the average response to is?
You know dinosaurs had feathers, right?
The average response to that is, oh, okay.
My response to that is, cool, dinosaurs put even more shit on the dinosaurs.
Yeah.
Oh, dinosaurs, they also had, like, the dinosaurs that you didn't think had horns on their foreheads, they had horns on their foreheads.
Sick, man.
Sick, cool.
I love it.
Some of them actually even had, like, guns strapped to them, and you could ride them, and they had, like, lasers.
The plesiosaur actually had a rudimentary biological sort of wheel attached to its leg that would help it sort of skate across the surface.
I'd be like, amazing.
Yeah.
I guess I fucking, I guess I do fucking love science.
That rules.
And this guy's like, that would technically make him like a rollerblader.
So I don't want that.
I don't want them to be rollerbladers.
And, you know, not around here.
Those who claim to prefer the feathered versions are no different to the virtue signaling liberals who say, I prefer girls with curves.
So he's just, I love how many stabs that like how certain this guy is that like he can just argue like three to four extremely niche grievances and expect that.
Yeah.
This is just what we're all thinking.
We all hate women with curves.
Give me, give me one flat as a board, baby.
Sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm not woke.
Oh, thank you.
Not that there's anything wrong with flat women.
You know?
Yeah.
Yeah.
You're all beautiful.
The thing is, if you let this circulate long enough, there will really quickly be a comment that says, Dale here, love feathers, hate negroes, love dump truck asses.
That's going to be for sure a comment that's going to come right away.
There's no monolith here in feather believing dinosaur lovers.
I love just how outdated.
I prefer girls with curves.
That's not like a fringe woke expression.
Fairly popular opinion, I would say.
You're not fooling anyone.
Obesity isn't synonymous with beauty, and feathered dinosaurs certainly aren't synonymous with cool.
It sucks, and all of us with eyes in our heads can see that.
Sorry, I think dinosaurs with feathers look as cool as a beautiful woman with curves.
I also think that like a thick dinosaur would be cool.
That would be a cool look.
Yeah, absolutely.
What a loser.
What a fucking loser.
Anyone who says otherwise is a dirty, rotten liar.
Guilty as charged, baby.
Sorry, book me.
They've taken the most awesome creatures that ever lived and turned them into a joke into an object of ridicule.
They're supposed to be reptiles and reptiles don't have fucking plumage.
Go stick some feathers on a crocodile and see how stupid it looks.
I feel like there's like a cartoon I can show them of like a dancing like I can there's like a there's easily a New Orleans feathered crocodile image out there right?
It probably looks tight.
Uh yeah.
For sure.
Last paragraph.
I shared these thoughts with my mother... I couldn't continue.
I shared these thoughts with my mother... Mom, remember when everyone kept on telling me that like, you know, like, they're like curvy women are beautiful and I hate that because I like skinny women?
Well this week, this week they're making me like feathers and dinosaurs and I don't like it at all.
I shared these thoughts with my mother and she perfectly agreed with me.
She sat there rocking in her chair and just silently agreeing with everything I had to say.
And I know she's agreeing because the humming goes up an octave when she's agreeing.
This is literally what he wrote.
I shared these thoughts with my mother.
And she thinks it could be tied to the whole LGBT thing.
So we're just checking them off the list.
Yep.
His poor mom has like a condition where that's the only thing she can say.
She can just say like, it's the gays.
It's the gays.
But she's saying the gays?
Like the looking upon?
That's what she's saying, but he's not understanding it.
It's really messing things up.
She's being haunted, actually.
Okay.
She thinks it could be tied to the whole LGBT thing.
Big carnivorous dinosaurs.
They're pretty cool.
Yeah, we would all agree.
Pretty masculine, we might say.
What would covering them in feathers do?
It would castrate them.
Literally wouldn't.
They're not replacing the penis with a feather.
I got some interesting photos to show you of me wearing a boa.
It would castrate them.
It would make them kinda gay.
I think this is part of a wider societal trend that has been going on for many years now, where everything awesome that brings us joy has to be ruined.
These people get off on rubbing our faces in the shit.
It's the only way they can feel better about themselves.
No, what it really is is that he just keeps on getting upset that everything he likes turns out to be associated with being gay.
He's like, oh, no, I'm a makeup, I'm an effects artist.
I like doing makeup.
I like doing makeup.
I like to make myself look like, because how hard would that be to make me look like, you know, I don't know, Kim Kardashian, but I can do it.
Like, that's what I do.
I like ballroom.
I like, you know, turns out I like ballroom.
I didn't know.
I didn't know that that's what it was.
Everything he likes is associated with gay stuff and I think that's great.
I just was a huge... I didn't know that... My mom listens to Barbra Streisand.
I didn't... I thought it was... I didn't know.
Uh, so, feathered dinosaurs, I think they look, I think they look pretty fucking cool, and I think they look pretty fucking gay, and that's why they look cool.
Sorry, bud.
That's why they look cool.
Sorry.
Sorry, but, uh, just so everyone made this very clear, uh, all dinosaurs are gay now.
Yeah, all dinosaurs are still men.
Don't worry, men.
Yes, don't worry.
All the good dinosaurs still are men, but they're very gay with each other.
That's, that's actually why they went extinct.
Yeah.
That's the episode, folks.
Thanks so much for listening.
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