Minion Death Cult - Come to Fort Wayne sissy and i'll make you a pie (clip)
Aired: 2021-05-07
Duration: 03:30


=== Bill Gates' Divorce Drama (03:05) ===

[00:00:00]  But yeah, this post has 10,000 likes.
[00:00:03]  Just in a Facebook group.
[00:00:04]  Thousands of shares.
[00:00:05]  People loved this.
[00:00:06]  People loved dancing on the grave of Bill and Melinda's marriage.
[00:00:12]  Which, can you blame them?
[00:00:15]  This is the final editorial take that got a lot of traction.
[00:00:22]  This headline from, I can't remember the name of this conservative blog website, but it was Bill Gates, COVID-19 quote specialist, couldn't keep his own marriage from collapsing.
[00:00:35]  Announces divorce from Melinda after 27 years.
[00:00:41]  Like, the correlating the two?
[00:00:43]  Like, if you can't keep your marriage together, how are we supposed to trust him for COVID?
[00:00:47]  Yeah.
[00:00:48]  I love that, because that's the same logic that they totally applied to, you know, to Trump.
[00:00:54]  Well, that's a good point, but I think it's like... I think it's that thing where just all these conservative dumbasses are like, you know, running a country is a lot like running a household.
[00:01:07]  You gotta balance the budget, you know?
[00:01:10]  You gotta understand, you know, happy wife, happy life.
[00:01:14]  And sometimes your wife is an oil company.
[00:01:20]  Sometimes you have to hit your kids.
[00:01:23]  And the kids in this question are the childlike races.
[00:01:27]  Slash genders.
[00:01:28]  You know?
[00:01:31]  Um, that's what I think it's from.
[00:01:32]  I think it's like, oh, you couldn't even, uh, keep, keep your marriage together.
[00:01:37]  Why should I trust you about science?
[00:01:39]  Exactly.
[00:01:40]  Yeah.
[00:01:41]  And it's like, I don't know.
[00:01:42]  Haven't you ever, haven't you ever seen True Detective?
[00:01:46]  Or haven't you ever seen, like, any good movie where, oh yeah, that's definitely something I'm familiar with.
[00:01:53]  A guy who's really good at his job and does it to a T and is borderline obsessed with it always has a healthy marriage.
[00:02:01]  Yeah, always.
[00:02:02]  That's the whole point.
[00:02:03]  They go home and there's no drama whatsoever.
[00:02:06]  Yeah, sorry that Bill Gates was like, living too close to the edge when it came to COVID-19, that his marriage fell apart.
[00:02:18]  I also love that they think that he's the one, he is the specialist.
[00:02:22]  Like, he's not the specialist.
[00:02:24]  He is funding the specialist.
[00:02:26]  No, they put quotes around specialist, implying that he has called himself a specialist.
[00:02:33]  Oh, okay, okay.
[00:02:34]  Yeah, I can see that.
[00:02:36]  Which, I mean, maybe to his credit, he probably hasn't done the supremely stupid act of calling himself a COVID-19 specialist in public.
[00:02:46]  Perhaps he does act like that by, you know, influencing various policies, but I don't think he's come out and called himself a specialist.

=== Michelle's Divorce Conundrum (00:39) ===

[00:02:57]  Uh, so this, this, um, as you might figure, this news about them getting divorced was, uh, ripe territory for conspiracy theory.
[00:03:07]  Um, and I have, uh, some of my favorites lined up here.
[00:03:11]  Uh, so Michelle Sears, uh, says, to the news of Bill and Melinda Gates getting divorced, Michelle says, how?
[00:03:21]  They're both already dead.
[00:03:24]  You can't divorce the dead.
[00:03:27]  They're the undivorceable.
[00:03:29]  Well that's what you gotta do.