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March 1, 2021 - Minion Death Cult
01:31:15
"It Potato Head"......sounds disgustingly perfect......

Hasbro is doing white genocide to Mr. Potato Head and also Biden's dog is too disgusting to be a presidential dog Support the show, get a bonus episode veery week, and listen to BUTTFEST 2000 at http://patreon.com/miniondeathcult Get Tony's excellent bread at https://sickles-harvest.myshopify.com/ 

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Time Text
The liberals are destroying California, and conservative humor gone awry... Conservative humor gone awry is going to fascistphonia today, so stay tuned.
We're going to take a few pictures of the desert and how their policies are actually messing it up.
It's not beautiful when you go across that border.
Stay tuned guys.
We'll show you exactly what it looks like when people are going to get you.
All their environmental stuff.
Stay tuned.
Alright, I'm Alexander Edward.
And I'm Tony Boswell.
We're Minion Death Cult.
The world is ending.
The Potato Toy is responsible.
We can't call him the other name.
I mean, you know, it's not Mr. Potato Head anymore.
They're not calling him that, folks.
They're calling him... What's the gender neutral mister?
Uh, Spud?
No, the prefix.
The mister.
Mister.
What's the gender-neutral one?
That's a trick question.
it's doctor.
I don't actually understand this.
Yeah, we're documenting it, folks.
Thank you so much for tuning in, as always.
Very, very light-hearted fair, I think, on this.
You know, Biden's president now.
There's nothing really to worry about.
No problems whatsoever.
So we're gonna be talking about the potato toy today.
A couple other things as well, but it's gonna be, you know, classic light-hearted MDC today, I think.
Don't we?
We're still gonna talk politics.
We're still gonna hit the politics that you know you crave.
Yeah.
We're still gonna do politics.
It's just not, like, important at all.
But we're still doing them.
By talking and reading the internet.
Yeah, yeah.
So, uh, the, uh, the potato head guy, um, the, uh, the company Hasbro, you know, they do the potato head.
Um, and they said, hey, uh, we do like lots of potato heads now, you know, we don't just do the dad potato head.
We also do like little kid potato heads and wife potato head.
They probably do like a dog, like a potato dog, like an abomination in the form of a potato pet dog thing.
There's probably a freaking potato cat.
Ugh.
And so they were like, hey, it's the brand, which is again, just like, I mean, the real problem here is a brand owning another brand, but that's just...
That's just capitalism.
That's just capitalism, folks.
That's what we should be talking about today.
Bearing its ugly face.
But Hasbro, which is a brand, said that our other brand, Mr. Potato Head, is going to be re- we're going to rebrand the other brand and just call it... What is it?
Potato?
Just Potato.
It's going to be called Potato.
Just potato now.
And so I have, this is like, it's shooting fish in a barrel here.
Uh, everybody, everybody freaked out.
Like I think, uh, Mike Cernovich said he was going to secede from the union, uh, over the potato toy.
Um, it's... I wonder how the state of Idaho in general feels about this.
Wow.
Well, they originally fought for the North.
I have family in Idaho.
I don't want them to join the secession effort.
It would, again, be cousin against cousin.
We don't want that, no.
Second uncle against nephew.
I'm trying to think of how I'm related to the people in Idaho.
Someone on one of your parents' side.
That's all you need to know.
Right.
It's gonna be tough.
It's gonna be tough knowing that.
And then I got family in Utah, too.
They live there.
They're all around, like, Bear Lake, which borders both states.
It's on both states.
How do you decide?
How do you decide which side you're on if you're, you know, crossing the lake?
It doesn't matter.
None of that stuff matters when it comes down to it.
It's just the color of the uniform, brother.
Yeah, so Hasbro.
So here's just this is just this is how fucking shooting fish in a barrel.
It is.
This is one post from the Wall Street Journal on Facebook from two hours ago after like, you know, this should happen on like Friday or something or like Thursday.
The Wall Street Journal posted on Facebook, Toymaker Hasbro said it is dropping the quote Mr. from the brand name of its Mr. Potato Head toy and will introduce a boxed set with enough plastic potatoes and accessories for kids to create all type of families.
All types of families.
Sick!
And then the actual headline of the article, which is as always featured in like, you know, the post in the link with the thumbnail.
The headline is Mr. Potato Head isn't going away.
Meet the new Potato Head family.
So this is like a post that follows all of the other outrage.
This is a post that comes after the outrage of, oh, they're going to de-gender my favorite potato head.
Yeah.
I've been dreading this day.
They're going to emasculate the potato that I love.
They don't want male heroes.
They don't want strong masculine heroes anymore.
Oh, what?
Do we have to cancel the potato because it has eyes and that's offensive to blind people?
What's next?
Right?
Oh, do we have to... Oh, we have to... We can't have potatoes because the Irish weren't able to have potatoes during that one famine?
Is that what's going on?
I... I... The thing I was kind of upset about, though, was like, I don't know why they... I understand, you know, getting rid of the brand name, Mr. Potato Head, because you make a variety of... of potato.
They make all the potatoes now.
A rainbow of potatoes.
You know, what they did was, I can't believe they got rid of the cock option.
There's just no more cock anymore.
There used to be a little cock you put on the potato and it's just not there anymore.
They have cocked off the cock hole.
Yeah.
You're joking, Tony.
I mean, I'm gonna break the fourth wall here.
There was never a cock that you could put on the potato head.
But there was a hole.
There was a hole back there and you could put like an ear and pretend it was a cock or you could put like an eye, you know, an eyebrow and say, oh, it's a little turd, you know, or whatever.
They have permanently sealed off that hole.
You have no access to that hole anymore as a, you know, as a consumer, which is fucked up.
If I'm giving you money, I want that hole.
See, that's the problem.
They're not thinking about the future.
How are they gonna make more potatoes?
So, once again, this is like, it's funny because it's like a damage control post from a website that's like not associated with Hasbro.
You know, Wall Street Journal, I don't think, like, gives a... I mean, I don't know.
Maybe they care about Hasbro.
Maybe they care about, like, corporations, like, in general.
So, they're trying to help Hasbro, like, navigate the...
insane culture war and grievance like tornado that is happening in the wake of them trying to simplify their brand and like yeah more uniformly be able to print out boxes for their products you know yeah how do you have if you're trying to sell a mrs. potato head or a kitty potato head or whatever how do you have the phrase mr. potato head on there it's gonna be confusing
To your idiotic consumers.
To your idiotic customers.
You just want to simplify.
You're going to sell more potatoes that way.
And, like, poor Hasbro.
This has nothing to do with, like, you know, challenging gender norms or anything like that.
This is just like, oh, well, it's time to re-up the trademark.
Maybe we should do it this way.
To be fair to, like, the totally deranged people we talk about every week, to be fair to them, Hasbro did try to make it, like... Oh, they did try to flip it?
they try to be like oh to be more inclusive to our line or to our uh you know what's the phrase to our diverse line of toys you know we're going to just be called the potato family now the you know or whatever yeah and it's like that's pretty benign that's not like necessarily trying to do uh woke capitalism that's more just like
We're opening, you know, it's like Google doing a new logo that's like, you know, more pleasing to the eye or whatever.
Uses less, like, triggering colors.
They did try to, like, woke it up just a little bit, but it's not that, you know, they didn't say anything about, like, diversity or anything like that.
Yeah.
So anyway, this is the post that's like after all everybody else got upset for misunderstanding what was happening.
Because everybody just misunderstood and thought they were putting Mr. Potato Head in the femdom gulag operated by AOC where she was just going to be crushing him into, you know, a hash, you know, for the rest of his natural life for Just for being born a male potato.
And that's not what's happening.
They're still going to produce the male potato.
They're just changing the like, you know, umbrella name of the company or whatever.
Yeah.
Oh, oh, we're gonna have to call it, uh, all temperature wheels, uh, because ugly people will get offended by the phrase hot, by the word hot, uh, you know, uh, whatever.
Only the average wheels.
Um, all... A Delaware nine.
All bodies are beautiful wheels is what we're gonna have to call it now.
That's the All Terrain, that's like the All Terrain series.
So this is, yeah, this is that post trying to, like, desperately trying to explain to these, like, monsters on the right-wing side of the culture war that, hey, your favorite potato is not going anywhere, baby.
And people still in this comment section, hey, they ain't having no potato family or whatever it's called now.
Ramey says, So glad we're fixing all the big problems first.
And this was a recurring theme.
I think I have another one here.
Meanwhile, China and Russia advancing in technology, military, and global economic influence.
But not to worry!
We are on top of the sensitivities of those offended by Mr. Potato Head.
We are so fucked.
I mean, you talk a lot of shit, but if you look at the Hasbro agenda, they keep on moving Flint's water supply down.
Like, they keep on saying, no, we'll just do that next week.
We're gonna go ahead and take care of those potatoes right now.
Oh yeah, wow.
So glad Hasbro has the time of day to worry about assigning a gender to a potato when they could be, what's the alternative that Hasbro could be doing to better the world?
Yeah, they could produce more mosquito nets.
I think that's the only thing They could do the help.
That would be, like, good.
It's like you can't even say, like, making masks.
Because that would also be bad.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They wouldn't agree to that.
But yeah, this is just like... It's just all energy.
Whatever a company does, like, that's what America is for.
Like, America is for...
Profit?
For private companies to be able to profit?
Like, that's our only idea of what politics is, is what the various corporations are doing.
That's why we can say things like, oh, Disney added a trigger warning to the Muppets TV show.
I'm so glad the left has its priorities straight.
Yeah, yeah.
Like, I wish that corporations did have the capacity to fix things like people think they do.
I mean, they do, but that's not at all what they're going to be doing.
Like, you know what I'm saying?
I don't know what they think is happening here.
Do you think Hasbro could be like, what, providing textbooks?
Yeah, no, they do.
They think that, like, that's... It's hard to explain, because I don't know if they think a private company should be doing those things, because I think if you asked these same people, like, if corporations should be doing those things, they would respond with, no, they're a private company who can do whatever the fuck they want.
Yeah.
It's just when a corporation does something that they specifically don't like, then you can use the mosquito net thing or the, I don't know, quote, world hunger, but by world hunger, you just mean like sending out CIA agents to North Korea or something?
Yeah.
But that was a big thing.
Hey, so glad we care about what really matters.
And they don't mean Wall Street Journal covering this.
They mean Hasbro doing PR or doing, I don't know, whatever it's called when you try to make yourself more profitable to customers.
Yeah, you're just trying to hit those numbers next quarter.
That's all you're doing.
Selling products, yeah.
Yeah.
Um, I'm going to wait for that one.
That's a good one.
Realizing that the people who are buying your product are probably, you know, having kids now and, uh, are younger and are not going to be yelling at you on Facebook about this.
Debbie says, I can't believe we're living in a world that is reassigning the gender of a plastic potato.
Dot, dot, dot.
Ugh.
Yep.
Yep.
I can't believe we're living in a world where you're caring about that, actually.
That's the thing that's funny.
And also, not reassigning, just dropping it.
We're just dropping it.
No, dropping it from the company name.
The company is not even, like, insofar as Mr. Potato Head is a person, the name of the company is not a person.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Like, if we want to entertain the idea that Mr. Potato Head is an entity or whatever... Yeah.
Listen.
Okay.
Mr. Potato Head's not like, you know, Mr. Peanut.
It's not real.
Right.
You know?
You gotta understand.
Mr. Potato Head's never... That was a movie.
Toy Story is a movie.
Okay?
Mr. Potato doesn't talk to us in the commercials.
Man, when they, in Jurassic World 2, in Jurassic Park 2, Jurassic World, when they had the T-Rex as a woman for a mother.
Whoa, yeah.
We should have known that America was on the wrong course.
Yeah, we really should have stopped it then.
Oh, now T-Rex, I guess we're throwing science out.
T-Rexes can be women too.
What do you think the T stands for?
You know?
Come on.
Yeah.
T-Rex never skips leg day.
That's for goddamn sure.
Jurassic World 2 aka the low T-Rex movie.
What was the mega T-Rex called?
From which movie?
From the new reboot?
And Dominus Rex or something?
Yeah, nevermind.
I was hoping there was something fun to do with that, but I'm not that good.
Well, you have to remember the name of the thing.
For starters.
Art Damitz, with a Z, whose Facebook profile is a severely pixelated photo of himself, I'm guessing.
And it's very pixelated, but what I can tell from it is that he's shirtless and probably has skin cancer.
See, you say pixelated, we're saying mysterious.
Uh, his comment consists of three middle finger emojis.
Probably directed at Hasbro.
What color are they?
Oh, they're yellow, baby.
Oh yeah, they're yellow.
Goddamn right, they're yellow.
Coward.
Coward!
That's supposed to go to Hasbro.
That is to Hasbro.
Um, and yeah, I just like the idea of being like a sunburnt 60-year-old, 65-year-old retiree, spending your time on Facebook, like getting so fucking pissed off at Hasbro.
Yeah, yeah, over a toy that... I doubt that toy is doing very well.
I haven't seen one of those in the wild in a long time.
And I'm a parent.
Well, the reason you haven't seen it is because they're a woke company, Tony.
And when you do that, you lose money and you go broke.
And they've been woke for a while.
It's just this was the thing that put them over the edge in terms of media coverage.
And we're seeing that.
The fact that your daughter doesn't have a... Mr. Potato Head?
Yeah.
I think we know why.
Yeah, it shows.
That's why she's, you know, so goddamn soft.
If we went, if Culture were, or if, what's the name of the band?
Culture Abuse.
If Culture Abuse were still a band, if they didn't have to break up because their singer was like a sex pest or whatever, I think they would also be doing this exact same tweet at Hesbro.
Just judging on previous history where they did this exact same post of the three yellow middle fingers at you, Tony, for not liking their bee song.
For not liking getting stung by a bee.
Yeah um I think they would uh they would be doing something similar so it's unfortunate uh that he uh I guess harassed or abused or assaulted I can't remember a person because we don't get to see that tweet now.
Nope.
What could have been?
What could have been?
Yeah that's why you don't do that stuff.
So you can stick it to Hasbro later on.
Don't be a sex pest so you can stick it to Hasbro.
Um I love the phrase, just to go back to Debbie's comment, I can't believe we're living in a world that is reassigning the gender of a plastic potato.
Ugh!
Like, you can't have it both ways, Debbie.
You can't invoke the absurdity of gendering a plastic potato and then also be mad that the gender is changing.
Like, you're going the wrong way about making your point.
It's a fine line, and you didn't tow it at all.
Yeah, you just wasted your own time there, sweetheart.
I'm sorry.
I mean, you'd think they're mad now.
Wait till they see the new version of Operation.
It's just, all you're doing is gender reassigning.
That's all you're doing.
Oh, okay.
That's the whole game.
Go back and forth.
I thought it was gonna be the guy, the person had no bones because a bone is too phallic for the game.
Yeah.
So you're just pulling out like circles.
Yeah.
Pulling out chunks of soy.
You're pulling out, like, leaves.
You're pulling out cat hair.
Yeah, panties and cat hair.
You're pulling out, like, fair trade cloth.
A safety pin, but it's the one that tells you that people can come to you.
Yeah, and that one's a mixed signal because why would you ever want to remove that from your body?
Wait, was it a safety pin or a paperclip?
Which one was it?
It was a safety pin.
Yeah.
Yeah, Operation Paperclip was a different thing.
Not very inclusive.
Well, I guess, man, pretty inclusive actually.
More inclusive than today's left when you think about it.
Operation Paperclip.
A couple more amazing, uh, this is again in the Wall Street Journal from like an hour ago.
Sandy Golden says, uh, quote, it potato head end quote.
Dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot.
Sounds disgustingly perfect.
Dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot.
Joke's on her because I think they did make an It Potato Head for the movie.
I think that actually exists.
I think it sold very well and is actually quite rare now and collectible.
I love how deranged this person is.
Oh, MX is the gender neutral prefix.
That's the one.
Forgot.
Mix.
Mix.
I don't know how you pronounce it.
Mix.
I'm sorry.
Mix.
Miss.
Mix.
Maybe.
Mmm.
Mmm.
I like.
It's fine.
Um.
Sandy thinks that it's a pronoun.
That like mister is a pronoun.
Yeah.
Like the only thing they know about gender is like People who are doing the gender, they have pronouns.
And when Sandy says they, Sandy means he or she.
Sandy never says they.
No, never.
But Sandy never says they, Sandy says it.
Uh, and so when Sandy is thinking about, like, gender politics, they're like, okay, gender politics, those, those gender, he's genders have pronouns.
And that, and so I'm going to substitute the pronoun in this, like, phrase that I already know, which is Mr. Potato Head.
Yeah.
So they're like, oh, it's going to be It Potato Head now.
That's what it's going to be called now.
And then they comment on their own joke and they're like, ugh.
Disgusting.
Disgustingly perfect.
I would like to see a business card with that printed on it.
Like, you know, it Boswell.
This is just, you know, making something up and then getting mad at it.
They're gonna call it IT Potato Head!
Ugh, I can't believe they're gonna do that.
It's fucking perfect.
You know what?
It's ironic.
It's perfect that they're gonna do that thing.
Yeah, Hasbro's like, why would we do that?
That's a weird move, yo.
We're trying to save on ink.
We're actually trying to get rid of words.
Ashley Joy says, people have way too much time on their hands if they care about the gender of a potato.
Are these the same people?
And you're like, okay, yeah, totally.
Are these the same people sucking up unemployment and living off welfare that voted for a man that has increased the price of living across America in the short time he's been president?
Rolling eyes emoji, like sneering face emoji, like side eye face emoji.
Yes.
The people that work for Hasbro, all the employees of Hasbro, are the unemployed people cycling on the teat of the government.
That's what the employees of Hasbro do.
Again, just so deranged, like the way we talk about Paul, and you know, it's not...
It's not just like Fox News or Newsmax's fault that people talk.
Like, it is the fault of the Democrats as well.
Absolutely.
For people thinking that, oh, this is what politics are.
The left does the Hasbro rebranding.
The Democrats, they do the Disney content warning in front of Muppets movie.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's Oreo solving trans rights.
Thank you, Oreo.
No, thank you, the left.
Yeah.
We have the left to thank for Oreo's double-stuffed non-binary treats.
Double-stuffed's so good.
That's one stuffing for each gender you aren't.
Yeah, the people with the branding department are definitely the unemployed welfare queens, Ashley.
Yes.
That's cool.
That's a great way to think about politics and reality.
Ronia Bell says, what's next?
The noun mom and dad?
Question mark?
Question mark?
Face palm emoji?
Face palm emoji?
Out of control.
Yeah, Hasbro decided that mom and dad potato was a bad idea in like the 80s.
It sounds kind of stupid.
No, yeah, Hasbro decided you're not a mom anymore.
You're just parent.
Your child is not allowed to call you mommy.
They have to call you, what's... Keeper.
Keeper.
I'll call you what's a keeper.
Keeper.
Yes.
No, the noun mom and dad are not next.
Your actual mom and dad are next.
We are coming for your actual gendered parents.
Yes.
Because that's the only evidence that you were born of a male and female.
We're gonna kill them.
We're gonna parody.
We're gonna haul them off and kill them, parody, because they represent a truth that we do not accept.
And they need to be disappeared, frankly.
Not only that, but I mean, like, their mom and dad are probably not fertile anymore, so they don't really serve a purpose anyways in this whole construct, so they need to go.
Yeah, that's true.
It reminds me of that tweet that Ben Shapiro did of him saying that nobody was going to wish him a happy birthday because they didn't want to admit that he was born of a woman.
Which is the same explanation I give when nobody wishes me a happy birthday or comes to my birthday party.
It's because, yeah, they would be too triggered by the idea that there was a heterosexual couple who had sex to make me.
I know you don't want to hear this, but my male father had sex with my female mother and I was birthed through the womb.
Thanks, dude.
Cool.
Now we gotta go back to the beginning of this episode and add a trigger warning for that.
Thanks a lot.
Adding more work to me, Tony.
I appreciate that.
I live for it.
I live for it.
That's what I'm here for.
Yeah, and it's fucked.
It sucks because there's plenty of people who will acknowledge that I was born of a woman or who do accept that I was born of a woman, but they're too afraid to admit it publicly.
They're too afraid to write me a card or send me a DM saying happy birthday because they know they will get pilloried, they will get strung up by the left for doing so.
The only people worse than Ben Shapiro were the people who were like, Not me, Ben!
I am not afraid to admit that you came from a vagina!
I am proud to say happy birthday to you!
You know, it's like, shut the fuck up.
You ready for the worst response to this that I saw?
I hope so.
Okay, Dax says... Ooh, off to a rough start.
Yeah, just wait, dude.
Dax Shepard, right?
That's who this is?
I mean, I'm not gonna give their last name, but it's close to a Shepard.
It's a striking last name.
Dax says, I hope... So they're talking to the rest of the comment section.
Dax says, I hope y'all realize that those of us in the nb slash trans scene are also like quote okay what end quote like dot dot dot it's a nice gesture and all but i don't recall ever hearing about potato related gender concerns crying laughing we're just as surprised as the rest of you rolling eyes emoji
Okay, this doesn't sound as bad as I thought it did to begin with, because yeah, this is not something that trans or non-binary people, to my knowledge, asked for.
The potato thing.
Because once again, it has nothing to do with a genderless potato.
It has to do with degendering the company itself, which, you know, represents multiple genders of potatoes.
And, like, also, this is just to say that we are a company who doesn't just make male potatoes.
We also make female potatoes.
They're not taking a third step here, I don't think, right?
They're not saying, like... They're not saying, like, hey, these are just potatoes.
You can just make whatever you want.
Like, this is a spectrum.
They're not going that far.
They're just saying, we don't just make dudes.
Yeah, as far as I know, I don't follow the Potato Head updates very closely, but no, they haven't introduced a non-binary potato.
And it's funny because you mentioned a potato dick, I think, right?
Towards the top of the show.
Most episodes I do.
The Potato Head, I didn't want to say this then because it would like undermine your joke, but the Mr. Potato Head like doesn't actually have genitalia, right?
So they're getting mad about a potato, a male potato toy that did not have genitalia.
That was definitely male.
We're all mad about this fucking male potato being degendered that never had reproductive organs in the first, like even a, you know, a facsimile of reproductive organs in the first place.
Which is to say that all these people getting mad about degendering Mr. Potato Head recognize the fact that you don't need a penis to be a man.
Yeah.
You don't need a penis to be a male potato.
Yeah.
But you do need a bushy mustache.
And that's just a fact, folks.
You can't get around that.
It's science.
I wasn't a real man until like very recently.
I was a fake-ass man.
And to be honest, you're still kind of testing the limits of that.
Still pretty much a fake-ass man, yeah.
That's true.
I don't know, Dax seems a little like, you know, a pick-me-ass NB here.
But in the way they phrased it too, it was like those of us in the NB slash trans scene.
Scene, yeah.
Not a good word to use, especially when the whole trans-trender thing is like a thing.
Which shouldn't be a thing, to be fair, but... Yeah.
Not a valid thing.
Not a valid concern in my mind, but...
Hey, those of us in the gay scene, well, I guess there's a gay scene.
It's just weird, like, you don't talk about, like, toy brands in, you know, this, your gay scene.
Well, alright, I'm digging myself into a deep hole.
No, that's how I, that's how I actually, like, you know, that's how the whole bi thing came about for me, is I realized how many Funko Pops I had.
I had a bunch of Funko Pops and I was like, I must not be like the normal dudes.
There's going to be a lot of people who violently object to that characterization.
I have a Fight Club Funko Pop.
Last two things I wanted to cover for this topic were pretty good.
Kevin Nunez says, I want a white potato family.
Is he looking for like a Yukon Gold?
Is that what's going on here?
I think he's looking for a little fingerling potato.
You know what I'm saying.
First of all, his last name being Nunez.
Interesting.
I want a white potato fan.
This just brings all kinds of questions.
Is Mr. Potato Head a Mexican?
Is he brown?
Is he South American?
Is he Latin American?
See, the thing is, there are going to be many who are going to say that he's Irish.
Motherfucker wears a bowler.
I don't think he's Colombian.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I'm not sure.
Like, it's tough to say.
Because like, Russets... You know, that's brown.
Aren't Russets pretty red?
Russets are pretty red, aren't they?
I think Mr. Potato Head might... Okay, Mr. Potato Head, only to me, is only Steve Harvey.
So that's hard for me to not see.
Okay, so you're on Kevin Nunez's side.
Too long.
We've had representation for the caramel-skinned folks like Steve Harvey.
Yeah, I think that we need some like Yukon Gold type lighter, or even go another step and get one of those cool organic purple potatoes.
You know?
Yeah, I don't care if you're white, black, gold, or purple.
Red.
So yeah, Kevin Nunes is like trying to own like, you know, the woke Hasbro brand by saying, oh I want a white, white, give me a white potato brand.
Wouldn't that be triggering to everybody, right?
Right?
Yeah.
People are like, totally dude, like that would be epic if you made him do a white potato head or whatever.
Well, that's fucking bullshit!
I'm over here watching, like, people are watching the Black Potato Network, but if there was, like, a White Potato Network, people would be all mad.
Yeah, people would be so pissed if that happened.
And then Shane David, another comment.
Again, in the Wall Street Journal Facebook comment section, Shane David says, Not even a response to the other comment, just people in the same wavelength.
In his own comment, Shane David says, but they're still in blackface, so dot, dot, dot, dot.
Mm. Mm. Mm.
See, what?
Where's that coming from there, bud?
Okay, I know I might be going backwards on my Steve Harvey comment now, but at the same time, it's one of those things where it's like, Hey it wasn't it wasn't you're the racist for noticing that.
So I just love the the duality of these two comments.
Like these two comments are the two genders in this comment section.
Kevin Nunez wants a white potato family.
Shane David claims that they are a white potato family who are only pretending to be a black potato family.
So I think I think they were able to put the potato family was able to successfully trick Kevin Nunez into thinking they were a white potato in a black potato family but little does Kevin Nunez know they were actually even more epic because they were a white potato family doing racism.
Yeah it's uh that's like that's that's even that's like Even better than Kevin Nunes could have possibly imagined.
Like, oh, I want a white potato family.
Oh, cool.
I want, uh, I want a white potato family who puts fucking shoe polish on their face, bro.
Why don't you were like little baby.
It goes even further.
It's like, it's like the analog of digital blackface.
You know, this is how, this is how they used to do it through the potatoes.
This is how we had to do it back in the day.
You couldn't put a gif of a real housewife of Atlanta.
You had to buy a Mr. Potato Head.
Yeah, you had to buy a Mr. Potato Head.
I love that.
The Potato Head toys are representing themselves as black, but you know that they're in your heart.
You know that they're actually white.
Well, have you ever peeled a potato?
Oh, shit.
Okay.
Yeah.
Actually, that makes... Okay, I take it.
He's... Shane, whatever it was, Shane Davis.
He's right.
See, and think about it.
I mean, the only real, like, representation you have of, like, white potatoes is, like, mashed potatoes, you know?
And, like, it's kind of fucked up.
So that was the fun half of this episode.
That was the fun, silly half of this episode.
And we got to kind of, you know, sometimes now and then we got to cover more serious matters.
So we're moving on to a story from Newsmax.
The headline reads, Greg Kelly criticizes Biden's dog.
Internet barks back.
oof oof uh and what this is is this is like a follow-up to Greg Kelly who is a host of Newsmax who's a Newsmax host I think like their biggest host he's also the one who Cut off the MyPillowGuy.
He's the one who was like, hey, Mike Lindell, you can't say things that are going to get us sued very badly on air.
Sorry.
And he is the one that like, I don't know.
500,000 Facebook users demanded Newsmax to fire.
Yes.
Yes.
So the way he was able to put himself back in the good graces of, you know, Meemaw and Peepaw on Facebook was to make fun of Joe Biden's dog on it.
Yeah.
And this is just a stunning clip that I have to play that Newsmax includes in this article.
They're very happy to show you what Greg Kelly was being criticized for.
Just once again owning it, Team America style.
I'm gonna play some audio for everybody.
And I think the first half of this, Tony, you haven't heard.
There's like an intro to this that's very, it's very good.
Oh, I gotta show you some nonsense from the White House.
They put this out.
They've got this paw-fist.
Some sort of cutesy account for the dogs.
My dad, POTUS, is very pup-set.
So what Greg Kelly's talking about is the novelty account, The Oval Poffice.
Yes.
Which is an account from the point of view of the Biden dogs.
I don't know their names.
They have names.
Probably like Gunner and Magnus.
Well, the dog in question is Champ.
That's one of the ones we're talking about today.
I think Greg Kelly thinks that this is an official account.
He thinks that the like furry Oval Poffice account is like a real like White House account or whatever.
Yeah.
So very good.
He thinks his tax dollars are paying for this.
Already amazing.
Oh, I gotta show you some nonsense from the White House.
They put this out.
I gotta show you some nonsense from Nintendo.
It's Mario impregnated by Luigi?
Are you seeing this, folks?
Just deranged stuff.
I guess that's how they do it in Japan.
Or Korea, wherever that guy's from.
The baby looks like Yoshi.
I don't... Nintendo's sickos.
They've got this hofus, some sort of cutesy account for the dogs.
My dad POTUS is very pup-set.
Many hoomans are enduring... Oh, give me a break.
See, they're trying to be cute like a dog said all this stuff.
He declared his dad a state of emergency in Oklahoma and Texas.
I've never been so... Being a fucking 45 year old man and discovering like a dog novelty account for the first time and just being like completely flabbergasted and be like, we invented this technology so that scientists could share data with each other across various labs.
This was meant to save lives and you're doing this?
A dog would never say that.
A dog wouldn't know the word humans but not know how to spell it.
What sense does that make?
Dogs actually hate puns.
...his dad, a state of emergency in Oklahoma and Texas.
I've never been so grateful to have a dad who genuinely cares about all of us.
Pets too.
This Jen Psaki must have come up with this nonsense.
It's so bad.
Anyway, and they say that Donald Trump tweeted weird stuff.
Did you see the dog?
I want to show you something I noticed.
So now he's focusing on a photo of the dog champ that was included in the novelty Oval Poffice tweet.
Doesn't he look a little rough?
I love dogs, but this dog needs a bath and a comb and all kinds of love and care.
I've never seen a dog in the White House like this.
I remember Buddy.
I remember Millie.
I remember lots of dogs, but not a dog who seems... I remember all the dogs.
I can remember more dogs than anybody.
He's doing the Trump voice, isn't he?
Well it's funny because I've never heard him do this cadence before and it makes sense for him to do this cadence when he's trying to win people back but there is a chance that he might just say the word dogs like Trump does.
He's from- And he's just saying the word dogs so many times but yeah he's doing the Trump cadence.
Well he's doing the Trump cadence, he's doing the Trump-like Diction.
He's doing the style of speaking, the content there.
I remember lots of dogs.
Some people say I remember the most dogs of everybody.
I remember Millie.
I remember Gunner.
Also, when he says the dog is looking rough, he's not making a pun.
He's not making a joke there.
He missed that opportunity.
I don't know.
I don't know how much love and care he is getting.
Let's bring in the historians.
Let's bring in the historians.
Let's bring in the historians to fucking rate this dog.
Hey, for somebody who's unfamiliar with dog, dog novelty accounts, you sure are good at rating dogs.
Love and care.
I've never seen a dog.
I've never seen a dog this rough.
Folks, it's not good.
When you look at this dog, you think, oh, I've seen better dogs, frankly, on the street.
In the White House like this.
I remember Buddy.
I remember Millie.
I remember lots of dogs, but not a dog who seems... I don't know.
I don't know how much love and care he is getting.
Let's bring in the historians.
I'm having fun with this, obviously, but I do want to talk about some stuff.
Craig Shirley, Reagan biographer, presidential historian.
Craig, welcome back.
And Doug Weed, presidential historian, former advisor to George H.W.
Bush.
That's the White House where I remember Millie.
Millie had, like, a staff and they really took care of her.
Very beautiful dog.
This dog looks like from, I'm sorry, from the junkyard.
And I love that dog, but he looks like he's not been... It's a junkyard dog, folks.
It's not good.
Talk about a doghouse.
I thought we were in the White House here.
...well cared for.
No, not at all.
Thank you.
No, not at all.
It's a bad dog.
Dog sucks.
Ten for ten.
Terrible dog.
Would not recommend this dog.
George H.W.
Bush.
That's the White House where I remember Millie.
Millie had, like, a staff and they really took care of her.
Very beautiful dog.
This dog looks like from, I'm sorry, from the junkyard.
And I love that dog, but he looks like he's not been well cared for.
I love that dog, but you should fucking kill it.
You should kill that fucking dog.
This dog looks like from, I'm sorry, from the junkyard.
And I love that dog, but he looks like he's not been well cared for.
No, not at all.
Thank you for having us.
Thank you for having us on to talk about the dog, the way the dog looks, Greg.
I appreciate you for having me on to talk about the dog.
No, he looks very dirty and disheveled and very unlike a presidential dog like Millie or Victory or something else in the past.
I love this so much.
This is a return to form.
This is a return to form for conservative politics.
We're not talking about like, you know, deep state psychos at war with our Republican heroes.
We're not talking about like, Hillary Clinton's double being assassinated for continuing to do the child sacrifices that Hillary Clinton herself was doing.
This is the golden age of conservative grievance politics like revisited.
This is Obama's tan suit again.
This is the dog was too ugly.
It was a dirty dog.
We didn't like the dog at all.
But until we find out that actually, turns out the dog is like 200 years old.
And the dog has been surviving off of puppy adrenochrome.
Well then, sure.
I mean, I don't, like, you shouldn't be criticizing the looks of the dog.
That's just gonna make it pursue more puppy adrenochrome.
The dog's gonna go order some more pepperoni pizza.
Which is, in fact, you know, puppy adrenochrome.
But seriously, I'm waiting for them to, like, body shame this... Because this dog... The dog... The thing about the dog is... Okay, the picture's not great.
The thing about the dog is... I'm sorry, it's an ugly dog.
It's a bad-looking dog.
No one wants to see this!
Put the dog away, folks!
Hide that dog!
Like, it's not a great picture of the dog, but you can tell the dog's probably a little bit older, but the dog's fine.
It's a fine dog.
I would hang out with this dog anytime.
Yeah, as a proud liberal, I'm saying I love this dog.
I'd get a beer with this dog.
I would let this dog nuke Syria for me.
I love this dog.
But I was waiting for them to be like, look at this as a shepherd so you can see it's having what's going to be quite painful hip dysplasia coming in in the next couple years.
And there's clearly a mass growing on its right shoulder.
This dog is going to be an expensive dog to take care of later on.
Yeah.
I'm waiting for that type of critical analysis.
And the Bidens are going to have to weigh their options, you know.
Can they afford to keep this rescue dog alive?
With our tax dollars they can.
No, he looks very dirty and disheveled and very unlike a presidential dog like Millie or Victory or something else in the past in the White House.
Okay, where can we go with this?
Is this a scandal in the making?
I don't think so.
Doug Wheat, are you still there?
Did we lose Doug?
Yeah, I'm with you.
You knew Millie better than any of us.
So, I'm sorry, no one's talking about this dog.
And I think, quite frankly, this is a rescue dog that may need to be rescued itself.
Well, I got news for you, Greg.
This is a state secret.
Millie wasn't Millie.
Millie was Ranger.
Millie got old after having all those pups and didn't look very good.
And so they introduced Ranger and everybody thought it was Millie and she'd scamper around and play and Millie went off to the farm.
Sorry.
Because it had too many pups?
You were breeding out the presidential dog?
So, such an insane scoop.
What?
Reminder, this segment is about how the dog is too old and ugly for a presidential dog.
Like, the dog is too fucked up looking.
It makes us sick as the American public.
How am I supposed to respect this man for having such a rat-faced creature in his employ?
Yeah.
And Doug Weed says, uh, the greatest president, uh, what was it, uh, H.W.
Bush?
Who had Millie?
We need to get our own presidential historian for this.
Um, actually, uh, Millie was a fake Millie because the other dog got disgusting much like Champ did.
From having too many puppies!
What they did was they killed it and they replaced it with a more photogenic dog, which is what you're supposed to do.
They're like, it's okay though because the president shot himself.
President himself shot her.
But this is just like Biden though.
This is just like Biden.
Biden, there's a solution in front of you.
You just gotta do what you gotta do.
Biden, just cut us the fucking checks.
Give us our money.
Replace the dog.
It's all we want.
It's not hard.
It's not hard.
Okay?
I can look away from Syria maybe if I had a check and that dog was replaced.
I don't look at that fucking dog anymore.
Congratulations, Biden, on being elected as the person who owes me a new dog.
We all just need to go to the POVL office or whatever and just say, like, ew, gross.
Ew.
Disgusting dog.
Worst dog.
No but no but I love this is so fucking good.
I love this segment so much because Greg Kelly is here devoting an entire segment to how this dog oh and he's like making fun of the dog right he's like trying to own the dog because it's Biden's dog so he's like fuck this dog like it's ugly but he's trying to like couch it In a pretense of caring about the dog, and oh, it's Biden who's not... Biden isn't getting it the surgery it needs to look appealing to me, right?
And I just care about the dog, and that's why I don't want it to be ugly, because then I'll care less about it if it's ugly, like it is now.
And I really just care about the dog.
And then this presidential historian, Doug Weed, is like, oh yeah, a similar president had the same issue, so he killed the dog.
And replaced it with a better looking dog.
This is like...
How do you pull out of this as the host who is trying to toe the line between caring about a dog and making fun of it looking too old?
Because the logical conclusion to this is you kill the dog so that it doesn't look too old.
And Greg Kelly is confronted with this reality, the culmination of his own like I don't know.
Horrific, like, personality.
Yeah, this is how it ends for you, Greg.
This is what a good president did, is they killed the offensive dog.
But don't worry, they got plenty... I still can't believe they had a bunch of litters.
Like, you're not supposed... People, listen.
If you're listening to this show, I think you know.
You gotta spay and neuter your pets.
You can't be breeding your animals.
It's fucked up.
Presidential dogs do not need to be being bred.
That's nuts.
That's a good pedigree, though.
If you can get a presidential dog, that's got some good stuff in it, you know?
What do they do?
What are they good at?
Are they hunting dogs, fighting dogs, racing dogs?
What are we doing with these dogs?
Well, we live in a meritocracy, Tony, so only the best rise up to be the presidential dog.
I mean, it's just general excellence is what's in there.
What's their cuddle pedigree like?
Oh, I bet you Biden's dog is a great cuddler.
The way that man likes to cuddle.
You want a dog that's good with kids?
You get the Biden's dogs.
Progeny.
But it's cool when the dog sniffs you.
But it's cool when the dog sniffs you.
It's cool when the dog sniffs you.
That makes sense.
So it's a very interesting comment section here on Newsmax for this specific article because...
This article is like, once again, making fun of everybody who had a problem with Craig, Greg Kelly, like, dunking on an old dog.
This article is like, hey, oh, the woke internet had a problem with me, uh, mock, relentlessly mocking an old pet.
And so everybody in the comment section has to be like performatively even more angry at the dog because the mainstream media told them they couldn't be angry at the dog.
So the top, literally the top comment is from Dismas who says, when is Obama the traitor getting hanged? - Which doesn't really like reveal a lot to us about this topic, but it's just I felt like I had to mention it.
We live in the best country in the world.
I think maybe now that Trump's not president anymore, Obama's not going to get hanged.
I don't know, wouldn't it be sick though if Biden was like, I'm going to hold you accountable for your war crimes?
Because you can't incriminate yourself.
If anybody needs to do this to Obama, it needs to be Biden.
Because you can't incriminate yourself.
This is like H.W.
shooting Millie out behind the White House.
That's actually what was happening when Chaney shot that guy.
The guy was holding the dog.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I don't know.
I think only really cool people will coincidentally name their animals after their best friends.
Yeah.
I don't know.
I don't think...
I think only really cool people will coincidentally name their animals after their best friends.
Yeah.
I mean, that's...
Joe Biden is never that cool as me.
Not to...
Not to draw another parallel to another budding podcast, but I think that only real OGs coincidentally name their animals the same name as their best friends.
A lot of people don't know, I am best friends with Tony Iommi.
Yes, yeah, yeah.
Which is really hard for me.
But it's cool.
You're still the second best, well, third best after the cat, Tony, that I know.
It would just be cooler if you let me meet him.
Moving on here.
Robert says, Biden is just like the character from the movie, quote, The Campaign.
Is that the Jon Stewart movie?
Ah, I don't... Man, I don't remember.
Or is that the movie with Seth Rogen where he's like... No.
Where he hooks up with the hot politician and he's like a dummy?
Isn't it Charlize Theron?
Yeah.
No.
The Campaign is another one.
I remember it.
It was like a comedy.
I don't know.
It was like 2009?
2012.
Oh, it's Will Ferrell and Zach Galifianakis.
I watched this one.
It was alright.
I don't think I did then.
- 2009? - 2012. - 12?
- Oh, it's Will Ferrell and-- - There you go.
- Zach Galifianakis, okay.
I watched this one, it was all right.
- I don't think I did then, I must not have.
- Zach Galifianakis was like the down home, kind of, kind of, you know, Midwestern guy.
This should have been my lane at the time.
I don't know why I missed it.
It's pretty late in the, uh, you know, Will Ferrell career arc.
Um, Biden is just like the character from that doesn't say which character from the movie quote, the campaign, everything he does in life is geared toward political views.
Biden names his sons, Beau and Hunter and this dog champ.
So transparent and cheesy.
Oof.
Wow.
Yeah.
Wow.
Tell it's the fucking the the meme of he he admit it.
Mm-hmm.
He admit it.
Look at that.
Yeah.
By telling on myself.
Um, so I like that he says he's just like the character from the movie The Campaign, which as I just described is a solid two-hander.
Is it Will Ferrell or Zack Hatt?
Who are you fucking talking about, dude?
Um, and then everything he does in life is geared toward political views.
So I'm going to charitably, like, interpret that sentence as meaning, oh, his life is poll tested.
His life is like, - He's been on a trajectory. - Because everything everybody does in life is geared toward political views.
You know, that's the political is personal here.
But I mean, he says he wants to project a specific political.
What he's describing is like being a politician.
He's describing like being almost literally every single fucking politician like in this country is somebody who is like a fake person, right?
Yeah, but he's like Oh, he's like that character in a movie I saw about a politician who is fake.
That's how I know about fake politicians is a Will Ferrell movie from 2012.
Yeah, not like the hundreds of thousands of actual fake politicians that you can like, you know, throw a rock out of your front step and hit.
I think it's really important though that we take an opportunity to address something here that I think people overlook a lot in these comments.
One of the real issues here is this lack of acknowledgement that we tend to do when it comes to our revisionist history, you know?
To say that he's just a politician, he's doing things for SEO and for poll testing, you know, by naming his kids Bo and Hunter and his dog Champ.
It's really just an erasure of Western culture.
You know, those things are steeped in Western culture.
Those are rich names that come from a good hearty pedigree.
Going back to the pups.
A good pedigree.
Bo, Hunter, Champ.
You know?
Yeah.
We need to talk more about Western culture.
I don't know what you're getting at.
Are you saying that... I mean... I'm just saying that Biden's a really corny white dude.
That's all.
Even to what he named his pets and his kids.
Yeah, I mean, it seems to me like what Robert could possibly be complaining about is that Biden is virtue signaling to the right.
Oh, okay.
I'm not saying that that's what Robert is saying.
I can see that.
Well, actually, I do think that's what Robert is saying.
Like, it's always so transparent.
That's funny.
Like, that he would name his kids strong, masculine, western names like Bowen Hunter and his dog Champ.
It's very clear that this soy boy effete Uh, emasculated guy Joe Biden is trying to pretend like he's an American.
Or whatever.
When Biden's whole career has been propping up segregation, the drug war, and credit card companies.
The three most American things you can possibly think of.
What kind of, like, what kind of, uh, trauma is, uh, accidentally constructed when you name your two sons Bo and Hunter?
Like, literally one's, like, the tool of the other?
Like, that's, you're, that's fucked up.
You're, they're already, they're already future president's sons and you're gonna do them like that?
Well, it's funny because you say that Robert spelled Bo, B-O-W.
Yeah, yeah.
He spelled Bo's name B-O-W.
And so he's like misinterpreting Joe Biden's naming process by thinking that Bo is spelled like the bow.
I need to see an earnest interview with Joe Biden talking about how he named his son after Bo Jackson and meaning it.
Bo Jackson's B.O., right?
Yeah yeah yeah Beau I believe is Beauregard so it's like a fancy ass name it's like B-E-A-U I don't know if it's short for Beauregard but it's spelled B-E-A-U uh yeah I think it's just everything about Biden is like you know poll tested and fake like he gave his sons these like strong masculine name he gave this dog this strong masculine male like
Big dick energy named, you know, champ or whatever.
And then on top of that, he had his own son killed so that he could get sympathy for his political projects.
Yeah.
I think that's kind of fucked up, frankly.
I mean, you think it's fucked up?
I mean, I think it's kind of beautiful.
He's kind of like Abraham, you know?
Well, I mean, he's Abraham that God doesn't love enough to stop him from doing it.
No, no, no.
God was like, hey, no, no, it's cool, it's cool.
And then Biden was like, bet.
I just want to make sure.
God was like, psych, psych, psych, psych, psych, psych, psych.
Um, Bluezman says, all hail Caligula's horse, Encitatus.
Which is like the most, I don't know, literary way of saying that Biden probably gets fucked by Champ.
Uh, yep, yep.
I mean, let's be real, Bluesman, that's, you're a jazz man.
That was a Jazzman comment.
I hate these people.
I can't remember if Caligula fucked his horse.
I know that was a different person in history.
It was a lady person who supposedly fucked her horse.
Caligula was like a freak though, right?
He was like a sexual freak.
Also a bad man.
Very violent and bloodthirsty man.
Murderous.
Yeah torturous uh yeah probably I think a pedophile too you know um so what blues man is doing here is he's uh he is saying oh yeah the mainstream media back in the the greek days during Caligula yeah they would probably defend even Caligula's horse Every day I'm grateful that I'm stupid.
I'm never as smart as these people on the internet.
stream greek media bah bah bah we love caligula's horse every day i'm grateful that i am stupid i am never as smart as these people on the internet i'm so grateful every single time i read some shit i just don't understand i'm like all right cool good bet i'm happy with that one
You're never intelligent enough to compare somebody making fun of an old German shepherd to somebody defending Caligula on behalf of his horse.
Yeah.
Yeah, it takes a certain mind to do that.
Were there any peanut butter jokes?
Or Blink-182 jokes?
I might have one here.
If I can't, I can...
Uh, paraphrase it.
Yeah, one comment that I saw, I guess I didn't screenshot it.
One comment that I saw was that, uh, Joe Biden was getting out of the shower and he's like, he has dementia so bad that he thought Champ was his wife and he was chasing it around the White House naked.
Okay.
All right.
That's.
That's an interesting take.
I mean, that's problematic.
That's not cool.
Dementia or not, you can't chase your wife around if you think it's your wife.
You can't chase your wife around the White House.
A lot of comments were talking about how his wife is as ugly as the dog.
I have no clue what Joe Biden's wife looks like.
A lot of people were saying you have to call the dog a doctor, like you have to call the wife a doctor.
Doc Champ?
Doctor Champ?
Yeah, a lot of good jokes in this comment section.
Texas Proud says, get rid of Greg Kelly, so the host who like totally owned that dog.
Get rid of Greg Kelly, so you're thinking, oh this is a libtard, right?
Sounds like it.
it get rid of greg kelly and replace him with a real conservative one that is not afraid to say secure the border with armed military and deport all illegals by using the military what's funny is like i i feel like if you were to ask greg kelly to say that he'd probably say that no i think he probably would say that i I don't think Newsmax isn't going to get sued for saying that.
I think this guy forgot why he's mad at Newsmax.
Greg Kelly would totally say that in a heartbeat.
I just, I just like that, uh, he's like, yeah, okay, you're doing all this, like these fluff pieces, these like, you know, people pleasing, like, you know, poll tested pieces about how you hate the, the old dog or whatever.
Why don't you do some hard journalism and say that like we should, you know, execute, uh, illegals or whatever.
Yeah.
I'm sick of this softball that you're playing here.
I know we need to kill the dogs, that's obvious, but we have bigger fish to fry.
Yeah, sure.
Sure.
Yeah.
Oh, why don't we...
Oh, let's give free candy to everybody.
Oh, let's make, you know, hedonistic orgies...
Give them out to everybody.
Oh, let's, let's kill the old dogs in the country.
Yeah.
These are easy things to say is a talking head.
Yeah, you're playing super softball.
Robert said, whatever happened to sticks and stones will break your bones, but names will never hurt you.
That's the phrase we all know.
Yeah, it's still around.
Now even pets are protected from free speech.
What?
What?
Who are you defending here?
He's angry at the mainstream media for protecting the pet from the free speech happening to it.
Honestly though, if you're at my house and my dog's pretty chill, I don't think you get to yell at my dog necessarily.
It has to be pretty warranted.
You don't get to just yell at my dog.
You definitely don't get to call my dog ugly.
You know, you don't get to do like shit on my dog and it's... You know, I'll hand you the goddamn brush.
I just think it's funny that like pets, like people's pets were like lower on the totem pole than like anything else.
You know, it is interesting.
Oh, yeah.
Wow.
Now, even our kids are immune.
Now, even other people's kids are immune from like talking shit about, yeah, whatever.
Like these are like, these are the sacred, like even more than people's kids are like, I know it's true.
Chelsea Clinton was called the white, I think Rush Limbaugh called Chelsea Clinton, the white house dog when she was a child or whatever.
Oh, Yeah, yeah, yeah, I remember that.
But did he ever talk shit about boots?
No, no, because boots is probably cute.
But that's, that's real though, like, I'll, I'll like talk shit about a kid.
Like, I'll meet a kid, I'm like, yo, that kid sucked.
Yeah.
I, yeah.
Yeah, one time, one time someone bought their kid on a date, and that kid was like the worst kid, and then I never talk to that person again.
It's kind of a bad move to be, bring a kid on a date.
Kid sucked.
Top five worst kids.
But if it was like someone's dog, because that person actually also had a dog that also sucked, it was a bad hangout.
But like, if the dog sucks, I'm like, you know what, honestly, that's the owner's fault.
Bad owner.
Bad owner.
But like a bad, like a shitty kid, like there's an extent to where it's like, yeah, the parent sucks too, but some kids just suck.
Yeah.
Some kids, I see some good-ass parents being like, sorry man, my kid's kind of an asshole.
Sometimes you need to pull a milli on them, you know?
Yeah.
I'm like, nah, I feel that, man.
Your kid kind of sucks.
But I mean, you've still got to brush it, though.
No, I agree with you.
No bad dogs, just bad presidents.
Yeah, exactly.
Um, yeah, now even pets are protected from me mocking them openly.
Like, it's like, you know, like if you kill a dog in a movie, like people get like, like, but you can be like, you can show all the videos of police brutality against human beings all you want.
And the second a cop was to like, you know, smack a dog on the nose with a nightstick.
You're gonna get, you're gonna catch a million times more flack.
Yo, no, that's a real ass thing, like, if you want, that's a little pro tip, you know, if you're trying to radicalize folks, talk about how many fucking dogs cops kill.
Yeah.
Like, they kill them at hourly rates.
And these aren't even old disgusting dogs, like champ.
No, these aren't even shitty old dogs, these are like really cool dogs.
And like, these are really beautiful dogs, they can do tricks.
They pull their weight.
Dogs that earn their keep.
It's literally something like 15 an hour.
I'm not kidding.
The number's not the right number, but I'm not far off.
I'm not far off.
I like that.
That's how we do facts on Minion Death Cult.
It feels like this much.
I might be wrong, but I'm probably not.
Go ahead and Google it, but it's an hourly rate that dogs are murdered by cops.
It's nuts!
And you tell a normal person, and they're just like, word?
Really?
And you're like, yeah!
Those were doggos!
Yeah.
I mean, you can show them someone's actual relative being murdered by a police officer and they're like, I don't know, that wallet did look like a gun.
But it's a dog?
They're like, oh man, abolish?
Heckin' brutality?
On the doggo?
Yeah.
Sua Sponte, this is a great one, said, good dogs have a sense about shady people and avoid them at all costs.
These two dogs are obviously defective in that regard and and are as worthless as a guard dog that only wants to play ball with a thief.
Biden probably got these two dogs as a gift from China as a part of his son's crooked dealings and they are really Chinese spies!
You know what though?
I'm happy that that's the route they went with Chinese dogs.
Like, that's cool.
They were like, these are actually hyper-intelligent dogs who are collecting data and sending it back to the motherland.
That's the stereotype we all know about China and dogs.
They're breeding super intelligent dogs to spy on our native countrymen.
They're not like, oh yeah, like the Chinese emperor gave Biden the pre-coat.
I like that she's like, well, normally dogs are great and they have a good sense about people.
These dogs, they're bad dogs.
They fucking, they shacked up with the wrong folks.
And that's a red flag.
Yeah.
No, my dogs would for sure bark at Biden.
I know it.
I know it.
They definitely wouldn't cuddle with him.
No, absolutely not.
Oh, do they cuddle with me?
No, but I don't like to cuddle though.
That's not about me.
It's about me, I mean.
What was I going to say?
I forgot.
I don't know.
It's so funny.
Dogs are man's best friend, but when they make friends with a demon, like Joe Biden, they're no longer a dog.
They don't get to be a dog anymore.
If only we held people to that same standard.
If only we were like, yo, you're continuing to fuck with people that suck.
I'm gonna no longer fuck with you.
If only we did that with people and not just dogs, but you know, dogs works.
And you're like, you're like, oh, it's just a dog.
It doesn't know any better.
Like it's just, that's its master.
It's just obeying its master.
Yeah.
Just like the Nazis were just like the Nazis were, uh, just following orders.
Cool.
Yeah.
Let's apply that standard to everybody.
Hey, listen, I know, I know that they've been accused by multiple people and multiple of Kim Ford, uh, claiming that something happened, but their dog has not run away.
And that dog is cute as fuck.
So, think about that for a minute.
Um, and then I think this is a good, uh, this is a good comment to end in this on, uh, El Savio says, I never thought that I would see another Yahoo's forum in my life.
So Yahoo is the Yahoo website there.
It's Yahoo apostrophe S. So I know, so this is on the Newsmax comment section.
It's not on the Yahoo comment section, right?
Right.
Newsmax comment section.
Right.
And it's not a forum.
This isn't a forum.
This is just a comment section.
Yes.
I never thought that I would see another Yahoo's forum in my life.
But Yahoo, in comparison with Newsmax's forum, which SUCKS, is without a doubt the biggest fraud on the internet as a forum to express ideas.
They have hired native Chinese that came from China as moderators and of course the truths are toxic but the lies are the norm.
Wait, so this is Newsmax that's being controlled by the native Chinese from China?
Obviously.
Whoa!
Whoa!
Have we read any comments tonight about the truth?
I haven't heard anything that's the unvarnished truth.
All I've heard is what the Chinese have allowed us to hear.
I mean, honestly, with all this anti-dog sentiment...
I like that the first comment on here was again about former President Barack Obama being hanged by the neck until dead.
Still up.
Top comment.
No problem there.
I mean, if you scroll past that, don't mind if I do.
Yep.
And El Sabio is like, what are we in?
Communist China?
What comment did El Sabio have deleted on them?
That's the question here.
It had a serial number in it, is what it was.
It had someone's social security number in it, I mean.
It had a photograph of El Sabio holding today's newspaper with a rifle and a comment about killing Joe Biden.
Yeah it had a time-dated like cell phone like selfie with Biden's dog.
Yeah it was like it was like through a scope or something.
Yeah exactly it was like telescopic photographs of Champ.
Just drone footage of Champ.
um so this week on the patreon not just this week uh in general on the patreon we have the butt fest 2000 mini series that i did with brian of street fight We covered butt rock through the ages.
We covered butt rock from the 1980s, which was very interesting to explore.
My previous conception of butt rock was purely as a phenomenon in the post grunge era.
People have differing views.
So we started at the 80s and I think Developed a foundational idea of butt rock that informed the following decades of music that we explored.
As I've said, I think, on this show before, this was the most fun I've had doing a podcast, you know, since starting Minion Death Cult.
Extremely fun.
Six episodes of this.
An intro episode where we talk about our relationship with Butt Rock.
What we're trying to do with the series.
And Brian brings up Lit, which is not a band I was expecting to talk about.
I promise the whole series is not about Lit.
Hold on.
It's not not about Lit.
Lit was not a band that I would have brought up.
It's like when you're too close to something, you don't want to inject it into everything.
So I had no plans to bring them into it.
But Brian was like, one of the bands that embodies butt rock to me is Lit.
It blew my mind.
Because I like to think of myself as something of like a lit scholar and hearing him put them in that context, it like slotted so so many things into their right place.
No, we go through the 80s, the 90s, just I mean the 80s butt rock is like Typically, as far as I know, thought of as like the lesser hair metal bands, you know, your winger, your striper, that sort of thing.
I feel like I discovered a different strain of 80s butt rock That makes sense that holds true to what we saw in the 2000s with stained venturing into more country, more Reactionary music.
It's a really, in my opinion, great series.
I'm very proud of it.
I was really happy with how it turned out.
You can listen to the whole thing on our Patreon as well as get a bonus episode every week.
For $3.11 a month at patreon.com slash MinionDeathCult, p-a-t-r-e-o-n dot com slash MinionDeathCult.
$3 a month, that is extremely cheap.
That is the, what, price of a gallon of gas at this point.
Gets you four bonus episodes a week, as well as this six episode miniseries with Brian.
$5 a month gets you a sticker pack and a little postcard as a thank you to the listener for supporting the show.
We really appreciate you folks for doing so.
I strongly recommend it, not just because it's a way for me to pay the mortgage and shit, but I am proud of that series and I want as many people as possible to hear it.
Yeah, just for ButtFest alone, it's worth every penny.
I hadn't listened to the 90s episode, I'm listening to it right now.
And I will say, this whole thing, it's like a thesis.
Like, this should be in the Smithsonian.
This is an important document analyzing music.
It really shifted my perspective on how I viewed a lot of music.
Y'all really killed it.
It's really great.
It's really funny.
Thank you very much.
Tony is a guest on the 2010s episode, which was an incredible episode.
Banger.
That could have gone on for four hours.
Fascinating to think of butt rock, which is once again in a genre associated with the late 90s, early 2000s.
Think about what butt rock is doing in the 2010s to try and put that together.
It was happening, folks.
You might not know it, but it was happening.
I mean, and also, like, a pretty major character is introduced in that one.
Yeah.
Through theory of a dead man.
Incredible band.
The worst band.
Yeah.
I mean... I think the worst band, yeah, ever.
Probably the worst band ever.
They're on the fight list.
Like, you know, they're on the fight list for sure.
Like, if I saw that dude and recognized him, I would like...
Have to, like, tell him, hey, I'm only fighting you because of your career.
I want you to know that.
And then he'd have to engage.
If I saw that, dude, I would, like, I don't know, have to reassess my surroundings.
Make sure I wasn't in a simulation or something.
Make sure I wasn't in, like, The Sims or a Slim Jim commercial or something.
Because he does not look human.
Yeah, he looks like a Sim for sure.
Slim Jim commercial, yeah, that's totally it too.
It's totally the Uncanny Valley weird look.
So yeah, you can support the show, get that bonus content at patreon.com slash MinionDeathCult.
It goes right into your podcast app.
You just copy the link and put it right into whatever podcatcher you use.
And we love you folks for supporting the show.
You can follow us at MinionDeathCult on your social media.
You can write to us MinionDeathCult at gmail.com.
Hey, actually a couple people figured out the cheat code, but you could buy the bread that I've been posting a lot.
I'll ship it to you if you're in like...
the content of 48.
I make a few every week to ship.
If you go to the website every Monday at 9:00 AM, it drops.
It's Sickles Harvest.
You can just kind of Google it.
But go through the Instagram.
Sickles Harvest is the Instagram.
It's the easiest way to find everything, all the information.
But yeah, you can buy the bread.
It's cool.
It's like five bucks plus shipping.
And it's also a wonderful gift.
But a few people figured it out.
Like, let me know you did it.
Like, let me know you bought it.
Like, be like, hey, I listened to the show and I bought bread.
And because I ship a box, so maybe I throw some extra cool stuff in there.
And this is Sickle's Harvest.
You spell it that way because you're a big Harry Potter fan.
And you're referring to the denomination within the wizarding world of the sickle.
Yes, exactly.
Thank you.
No one gets that.
No one gets that.
I'm glad you see me.
I can't wait for the Nut Harvest.
The K-N-U-T Nut Harvest.
That's what I'm waiting for.
It's coming.
It's coming.
Alright, thanks for listening folks, and bye.
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