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Oct. 15, 2019 - Minion Death Cult

01:20:08

Spongebob is a violent racist colonizer

This week we cover indigenous people's day by way of A massively racist, pro-genocide Prager U video featuring Stephen Crowder and a scholarly article about Spongebob Squarepants being a violent colonizer Get tickets for our November west coast tour with Street Fight: https://www.streetfightradio.com/left-coast-november-tour/

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	The liberals are destroying California, and conservative humor gone awry... Conservative humor gone awry is going to fascistphonia today, so stay tuned.
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	Also, let's just get it out of the way at the top.
	We got a lot, a little bit of housekeeping here.
	First of all, listen to our appearance on the Violet Wanderers podcast.
	We had a lot of fun recording with those folks, playing some fun, I don't know, word games that involved Jordan Peterson comments and forensic Cop Rapper Madlibs.
	So that was a lot of fun and thanks to Alexis and Ian for having us on the Violet Wanderers podcast.
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	Anyone who is signed up for the Patreon at the $3 or $5 level How do I say that?
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	will be entered into a chance to win that doesn't sound right they will have a chance to have a chance to win there you go they will have a chance to win one of four commemorative coins okay Okay.
	These are commemorative coins.
	They're meant to look like pennies that each display the face of a democratic bugaboo for the right wing we have.
	Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez coin, a Bernie Sanders coin, a Joe Biden coin, and an Elizabeth Warren coin.
	The front shows their face, the year, their name, and then zero cents.
	The back of the coin says E Pluribus Unum.
	Zero cents.
	United States of America.
	Yeah.
	They did a great job with them.
	They look amazing.
	At first I was really confused.
	I was like, wait, these seem like a good thing.
	And I was like, oh, oh shit, never mind.
	It's a shout out to Marcel from the Facebook group.
	Oh, shout out for sure.
	We're posting this in the Facebook group, and I decided that it would be a fun Patreon giveaway.
	The AOC coin is $15.95.
	Now, remember, this is what's supposed to look like a penny that says zero cents on it that they charged me $15.95 for, so you're welcome, Patreon subscribers.
	And then they descend in level of value, you know, purchase value, not actual value.
	The actual value is priceless, of course.
	It's only going up, actually.
	The Joe Biden one is like $9.99.
	The Elizabeth Warren one was $9.99.
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	That's amazing.
	Yeah, that's good.
	Here's a little description here.
	Just like the Democratic Party, this coin is worth nothing, is blemished, imperfect like an old penny, and is literally worth ZERO CENTS!
	So, it's a good pun, because, uh, cents is spelled like, you know, the monetary denomination, but it also sounds like, you know, they're big ol' dummies, they're d-d-dummy rats, you know?
	Do you think they're actually gonna, like, put, like, a patina on it?
	Are they gonna, like, weatherize it and make it look beautiful?
	Because the pictures, they look perfect.
	They said they will blemish the penny.
	That's amazing.
	The penny, I demand the penny to be blemished.
	If I receive a shiny penny, I'm gonna be upset.
	That's what you're paying for.
	You're paying for that.
	Yeah.
	How will I know the Democrats are bad if the penny is unblemished?
	And I have one review here.
	It's a five-star review from Michael Krasniak, who says, Everybody enjoyed seeing that coin.
	So it sounds good.
	Sounds like we're all in for a treat when those get here.
	You gonna be hit at every party you go to with that coin?
	Yeah, yeah.
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	Okay.
	Also, we're going on tour, baby, with Street Fight.
	We're super excited about this.
	We are going to be Seattle.
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	Portland, Oregon, Los Angeles, and San Diego at the fucking Che Cafe.
	Which is wild.
	Real quick.
	Portland, Oakland, LA, San Diego.
	You said Oregon.
	I meant Portland, Oregon.
	And then I skipped Oakland.
	Yeah.
	But yes, yes, and we're yeah, we're gonna play shake play.
	We're gonna we're gonna perform at Che Cafe, which is like a fucking dream of You know my little Southern California Punk rock heart, you know I think it's really cool that the Che Cafe stayed open not because it's like a historical landmark for DIY hardcore shows But just so that we could eventually appear there, you know, that's what it was for.
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	We want to party with you.
	So on to the episode.
	Since today is Indigenous Peoples Day, we're talking about the man who started it all.
	Just a ruthless, murdering racist known as SpongeBob SquarePants.
	We have an article here from Fox News, the title of which reads, Spongebob is a violent racist colonizer, says University of Washington professor.
	Uh, this is possibly my favorite headline of all time that we've done on the show.
	Yeah, when you sent it to me, this is one of those ones where I was like, oh, this is a, this is a spoof.
	This is an edited, uh, edited headline.
	This is not real.
	Um, and then I clicked and, uh, sure enough, I only send you the clickable links.
	What's funny is that if you try to read this academic paper on which the article is based, it's behind a paywall.
	So you can't actually read why Spongebob is a violent racist colonizer, which is a shame because I would love to.
	I would love to have that explained to me.
	But apparently the gist of it is that Spongebob is American, and the whole show is American obviously, but it takes place in Bikini Bottom.
	And the extrapolation there is that Bikini Bottom is a stand-in for the Bikini Islands, where the U.S.
	conducted nuclear testing.
	And so Spongebob is occupying the irradiated, otherwise uninhabitable, at least to the natives, bottom of the ocean Bikini Atoll.
	Which is incredible.
	It's pretty incredible.
	When you first read the article, the headline, you're like, how the fuck?
	And then you know, I'm kind of like, I don't know, that might be onto something here.
	Might be onto something here.
	That's not too far off from history.
	Another one of the pieces I was able to glean from the description of the scholarly article was that the show and America is denigrating island culture by the very theme song in which it references nautical nonsense.
	Which, like, saying that to me is more offensive than if it were actually to be doing that.
	You know, correlating Bikini Bottom with like... They were saying like, you know, like island culture, right?
	They were saying... Right?
	Like, that's what they were saying.
	Yeah, they're just all cartoons over there.
	Yeah, which is a wild statement to make.
	Um, the only piece of this article that I'll read is, uh, the very last paragraph.
	Which, uh, goes, A rep for Nickelodeon did not immediately respond to Fox News' request for comment.
	Fox News attempts to reach Tom Kenny, who voiced SpongeBob SquarePants, were unsuccessful.
	And I just love the idea of Tom Kenny from Spongebob and Mr. Show having to address the idea that Spongebob is a colonizing, murderous racist.
	I wish they would have got a hold of him.
	I wish he would have answered because that could have been some hilarity.
	Yeah, could have been good.
	So I used to think that like, oh, this article's, you know, stupid or whatever.
	This is like a joke, right?
	And apparently it's not.
	But after reading the comments section, I'm convinced that it's actually like a leftist psyop to get conservatives to heap praise on Spongebob.
	Just a working class icon whose labor is overtly exploited by a greedy small business tyrant in the form of Mr. Krabs?
	Holy shit, so I gotta give you a little background.
	I've had no interest in Spongebob my whole life.
	I never watched Spongebob.
	I never was part of it.
	Just because I didn't have cable when I was of the age when everybody else our age was watching it.
	So I had no clue.
	I've never watched Spongebob.
	I've seen two episodes and they're really unique ones.
	I still remember them.
	So I never understood this whole...
	Adult fascination and like love for him.
	I thought he was just annoying.
	And you right now, in this moment, blew my mind.
	He's a wholesome figure.
	He cares about his community.
	He cares about his friends.
	There's like a lot of mutual support in the show, SpongeBob.
	There's also, somebody reminded me, somebody posted on Twitter The episode where Spongebob tries to be a stand-up comedian and he just sucks at it so he makes like an offhand joke about Sandy Cheeks who is the squirrel and he makes a joke like about her appearance or her mannerisms and it gets a huge laugh and so he goes with it because it's successful until he sees that just people are making fun of Sandy on the street and like in her personal life because of his
	You know, so-called comedy, and then he corrects his mistake.
	He realizes that he was punching down, and he was hurting somebody, and it wasn't actually funny, it was just, you know, a form of like, uh, I don't know, xenophobia that he was engaging in.
	Very wholesome content.
	See, the one thing I did know about Spongebob was that I thought that if anyone was a colonizer, it was Sandy because she has the whole, like, astronaut, like, scuba diver.
	She has a cowboy hat, too.
	Oh, yeah.
	Yeah.
	And, like, she's the one that's, like, actually not supposed to be down there, right?
	Because even though he's American, he's still, like, a sea sponge.
	Mm-hmm.
	Mm-hmm.
	So that was my first thought.
	But then once it was made very clear to me that Spongebob is obviously a white guy, all that went away.
	Yeah.
	Yeah I think Sandy is like a white girl.
	Everybody on the show is white.
	All the sea creatures are white for sure.
	Yeah, so like everybody was like, I love that little, little yellow guy.
	He's great.
	And it's like, yeah, he's a fucking fry cook.
	Like he's the fast food worker you think doesn't deserve to live.
	So yeah, just keep, keep calling SpongeBob a racist.
	And then maybe people will like identify with a working class or something.
	Is that the play?
	Did we guys start calling McDonald's, McDonald's workers racist?
	Yeah, I think if we just call McDonald's workers racist, the natural contrarian instinct will kick in, in the conservative wing.
	One person did say, uh, Spongebob just flipped patties, okay?
	Mr. Krabs was a native citizen of Bikini Bottom who created the Krabby Patties, and the other citizens loved them.
	So, some people I guess just can't be reached.
	Even with like reverse psychology.
	Some people suck.
	Yeah.
	Still empathizing with who I, who even I know is the bad guy.
	Yeah, he's definitely the bad guy in the show.
	Like, I love a cartoon where the boss is the bad guy.
	That's a good cartoon.
	So, a user named Life-NRA, in the Fox News comments section, says, so the author's name, the professor's name, is Holly M. Barker.
	Life-NRA says, Holly M. Barker, parentheses, who let the dog out, Should have her credentials revoked and register as a socialist predator.
	Let's address this pun first.
	It's pretty good.
	You know, who let the dog out for Barker.
	Could have also gone with, who let the blink out?
	You know, like a reference to the band Blink-182 and Travis Barker.
	Like Holly M Barker writing an academic paper about Spongebob?
	What's her age again?
	You're so stupid.
	Everyone knows that he's more known for his work with... Say it, do it.
	The DJ A-Track?
	A-M.
	A-M?
	DJ A-M?
	DJ A-M R.I.P.
	Yeah.
	R.I.P.
	What's a Blink-182?
	What?
	What's a Blink-182?
	I don't even know what that is.
	It's how many times they said the word fuck in Groundhog Day.
	Yeah, so I like the second idea though.
	She should have her credentials revoked and register as a socialist predator.
	So the idea is that she's like, she's like a sex offender.
	She should have to register as a social predator.
	And I just, yeah, I love this idea.
	Like, I love the idea of going up to a teacher and being like, so what's your deal with kids anyway?
	Yeah, why are you even watching cartoons?
	What's going on there?
	You like teaching kids, huh?
	Why kids?
	Yeah, why aren't you working with the elderly?
	It's like you're trying to groom them or something.
	Trying to groom them into being adults or something.
	It's weird.
	Adult socialists, which is what's scary.
	I don't think, personally, I don't think teachers should be allowed within 100 yards of schools.
	Yeah.
	I think only armed vets, only armed retired vets should be allowed by schools.
	Yeah, they're the only ones that have proven themselves trustworthy, I think.
	think umnd 1971 says reason number 10,346 why women have no business being president of the united states what's sad is that there are thousands of women reading this and thinking you know she's right and
	And then Treasure Diver responds, I'm already up to 1 quadrillion, 23 trillion, 453 million, 876,987 reasons.
	Which I like because he saw a good joke.
	It's a pretty good joke.
	Reason number 10,346.
	Like that's pretty good.
	But he's like, I got an idea.
	I'll make this better.
	I'll put in a bigger number there.
	Like a fucking huge number.
	You know?
	Like a really big one.
	And it'll be really funny.
	It'll be more funny than that.
	My favorite part about this comment though is that Treasure Diver, who obviously is partial to what's going on down in Sandy Bottom Beach.
	Bikini Bottom.
	Or whatever it's called.
	Bikini Bottom Beach.
	Is pretty invested in it.
	Actually, like, put the commas in the number?
	They didn't just, like, button mash numbers out?
	Yeah, no, it's good.
	This is a really thought out number.
	Well, you want to do that in case it goes viral.
	You want it to look the best that it can.
	Yeah, that's true.
	You want to make sure you look official.
	Yeah, he's just thinking ahead.
	Might go viral in the Fox News replies.
	And then Metal Mommy replies to both of them, I am a woman and agree with you completely.
	Sure you are, Metal Mommy.
	Thank you, Metal Mommy.
	By metal, do you think she just means like theory of a dead man?
	Oh, absolutely.
	There's no way she means anything good.
	What kind of metalhead is... Oh, there's probably a lot.
	What kind of metalhead is misogynist?
	I can't think of one.
	She just listens to Five Finger Death Punch, that's it.
	Yeah, it's Five Finger Death Punch, new Papa Roach, not the old good Papa Roach.
	I also like, okay, reason number 10,346 why women have no business being president of the United States, because they might write a frickin' article about a cartoon I like!
	Say that it's bad?
	You don't want your president doing that.
	And then furthermore, what's sad is that there are thousands of women reading this and thinking, you know, she's right!
	So, this is a little weedy, this idea that I have about this comment.
	Follow me.
	Reason number yada yada yada that women should not run for president is this article, right?
	But then he follows it up with what's sad is that thousands of women agree with her.
	So the one woman writing this article was enough to prevent any other woman from being a credible presidential candidate.
	But then on top of that, other women think the same way, too.
	You know what I'm saying?
	It's like... Yeah, totally.
	When you sent this comment to me, I thought you fucked up.
	I thought this was from someone completely different.
	Because why would you think that when you read this article right away?
	Like, why would you see, like, you know, I mean, arguably this is arguably a pretty dumb article.
	You know, I get why people might feel that way, but...
	Why is your first thought like, oh well they can't be president, no woman can be president because a woman did this.
	So I thought for sure you like had messed up but then nope that's just how they think.
	That's just the thought process here.
	So it's three upvotes but yeah so just a one woman wrote a bad article and that's why no woman should be president and also other women think this way too so it's even worse maybe like no woman should vote either you know.
	Yeah, maybe we should really reassess the whole woman thing in general.
	So many people were just referring to the professor as a man throughout this whole thing.
	They're just like, he's... He's not even, not thinking twice.
	He's dumbass!
	You know, it's that whole, like, the doctor treats you, uh, but they're, they are not, uh, your father.
	Who are they?
	You know.
	It's that whole thing.
	They're your uncle.
	Yeah, that's the answer, right?
	That's how that riddle ends.
	Samalone2222, no commas, says, what about Popeye?
	And then Tony2015 says, olive oil is not a me too woman.
	Actually, isn't that like the whole plot of Popeye?
	That she keeps getting kidnapped by Bruno, right?
	Yeah, okay, so let's go over the plot of Popeye.
	So, olive oil, which is not spelled like, you know, canola oil, spelled O-Y-L, so I'm already starting to doubt Tony's knowledge about olive oil and whether or not she's a Me Too woman.
	For the record, not me.
	Tony 2015.
	Not me.
	Yeah, this is Tony with an I. Was Tony Braxton alive in 2015?
	Yes.
	Okay, this might be Tony Braxton.
	Damn.
	Son of a bitch.
	Olive Oil always getting kidnapped, right?
	She gets taken by Brutus.
	I think that's his name?
	I think you're right.
	The bigger sailor guy?
	It's like the same exact character as Popeye, just like bigger.
	Brutus or Bruno or something like that.
	Bruno, I think is right.
	I think it's Bruno.
	Takes Olive Oil and she's like, help me, save me, but I think...
	When she's yelling, she's yelling for Popeye to save her.
	She's not yelling for emancipation or equal rights or anything.
	She's yelling for the big strong man to come save her.
	So, maybe she's not a Me Too woman.
	She doesn't hate all men like the Me Too woman does.
	Well, the thing is too, wasn't he also kind of vaguely ethnic?
	Popeye?
	No, Bruno.
	Yeah, well, Bruno was swarthy.
	I don't know what race he was, but he was definitely one of the swarthier races.
	Possibly a Mediterranean or a Greek, which is, you know, in the Mediterranean, but more specific.
	Yeah, yeah, that could have been racist.
	I mean, I think we're safe in assuming Popeye was racist.
	You know, I honestly, I apologize for not knowing more about this vegan icon.
	Yeah, spinach is pretty good, too.
	That's like the one... I mean, spinach and broccoli are pretty good.
	Those are like the vegetables we're always told as kids that are bad, you know?
	Like, not by our parents, obviously.
	Our parents are like, those are good, you know, but we don't trust them because the cartoons say they're bad.
	No, just by shows and stuff and cartoons, yeah.
	Those are like the two vegetables I like, you know, the most, kind of, now.
	Like Brussels sprouts are supposed to be terrible, and I think that they were terrible for a lot of reasons because people were just steaming them, but now we know, you caramelize those little hoes and they're delicious.
	Yeah, you gotta caramelize them, those little hoes.
	That's the Brussels sprout brand I buy, they're like cuties, they're just called little hoes.
	Uh, yeah, Olive Oyl, not a Me Too woman.
	She's a good woman.
	She's not a Me Too woman.
	Like, yeah, maybe she suffers abuse, but she'll never complain about it.
	She'll never say anything about it.
	She keeps it to herself.
	Um, allows us to watch for entertainment.
	Um, yeah.
	Retro Foxen says, Like so many other liberal Democrats, Hawley reaffirms who they are.
	Republicans usually consider Democrats good people with bad ideas.
	Democrats, on the other hand, consider Republicans bad people with bad ideas.
	That's why 95% of the violence and vileness comes from the left.
	That stat.
	95%.
	Yeah, the stat's interesting, 95%.
	I think we could punch up this stat a little bit, make it a little higher.
	Like, for a fact, you could say, like, oh, that's why 97% of the violence.
	And vileness comes from the left, you know.
	Or if you wanted to make it an even better stat, you could say, like, that's why 98.563% of the violence.
	98.563% of the violence.
	Like it sounds more official that way.
	Yeah, make it kind of obscure but higher.
	Yeah, make it one of those obscure numbers, but higher than 95%.
	And I think that would be effective.
	Yeah, with a decimal in it, you'd be good.
	Throw one of those fancy decimals in it.
	I love this.
	Republicans usually consider Democrats good people with bad ideas.
	You know, except when they're calling them literal demons all over Facebook all the time.
	It's pretty good.
	It's pretty good.
	This whole concept of, you see it all the time, there's bad people on both sides, there's radical people on both sides, right?
	But what's happening in these scenarios is that we're pitting someone's idea, someone's bad idea, Is what they have on the right, right?
	The right has bad ideas.
	Where according to the right, the left has bad people existing.
	Like, I don't like your idea about immigration, but they don't like the existence of an immigrant, period.
	So it's like, how did people find a balance there?
	How do people think that's somehow equatable?
	I don't know.
	It's mind-blowing.
	Like I said, it's just... Well, I think maybe... The math of what's more valuable between a thought and a person should be pretty obvious, but it's not.
	I think maybe they're watching a little too much Ellen.
	You know?
	I was shocked some of the people that came to the defense of that.
	Who came to the defense of it?
	Some friends who, like, I was kind of like, wow.
	Did we already talk about this on the show?
	Maybe, but yeah, they were just talking about, like, they just forgot how terrible George W. Bush was.
	Yeah, it sucks, man.
	And it's mind-blowing.
	I've said it before, I'll say it again, one of the worst effects of the Trump presidency has been to just, you know, rehabilitate all those figures.
	To, like, I don't know, somehow bewitch the general population into thinking that George W. Bush wasn't that bad.
	And it's like Trump's bad.
	Yeah, we just think of him as like goofball now.
	Trump's very, very bad, but like George Bush was more effective in his badness.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	NCF8710, just no commas in these numbers, says, the only sponge this so-called professor likes is the type that sponges off the productive American citizens.
	Yes, absolutely.
	That's a great comment.
	I love this comment.
	Does he know that there is like a sponge that's sucking off, leeching off of the productive American citizens?
	I wish they were sucking them off.
	And that's Big Brother, man.
	That's the big ol' tax collector man.
	Yeah.
	You know?
	That's his boss.
	That's his landlord.
	Landlord.
	Um, I love this because this made me think of like what the conservative version of Spongebob would be.
	Like the conservative version of the show.
	I was just like imagining a show titled Spongebob Welfare Pants.
	And it's almost the same exact thing, except Mr. Krabs has more on-air time.
	He's the exact same character.
	He's the exact same idiotic, money-grubbing, small-business tyrant, but he's just...
	Like, put front and center of the show.
	And, uh... Spongebob is, like, exactly the same.
	You know, Dweeby, Fry Cook, or whatever, but he's just dressed like the hip-hop Spongebob memes.
	He's wearing, like, a bandana, and he's got rings on and shit.
	Sagging... Gold tooth.
	Boxers and sagging pants.
	And he's always, like, looking really menacingly.
	He's always sneering at the camera.
	Where are we at on time?
	Let's, uh...
	Okay, let's go through this last one real quick.
	It's a long one, but it's really interesting.
	Yeah, it's worth it.
	Conservamodel33 says, This is why universities are failures.
	Professors like this are profoundly ignorant people and education today is gone forever.
	Professors will be out of work soon as a result.
	They put students in debt first and then the students never had a chance at the career they went to school for.
	90% or students change careers and waste money listening to these people claiming to be educated.
	I love this language that they use just like total idiots like oh this so-called professor.
	Yeah, quote-unquote.
	Like, yeah, it's like a job title, man.
	It's like literally what it is.
	Like, you could say, like, so-called intellectual, because that's like more of a... That's more subjective.
	Yeah, it's more of a subjective term or idea.
	But yeah, this so-called professor, this professor who claims to be educated with their, quote, degrees.
	What must be done to correct the corrupt system of education is to force companies to start up non-paid internships and train the people to do the jobs required to fill the roles of the company.
	This would equal zero debt to the would-be student and also would hold both the intern and company accountable to each other.
	This is a win-win situation, and the students would not have debt, but would have a promised career and no waste of years diving into debt.
	This is the new normal, and companies will have to find a way to incorporate this into the business model, which would also save them billions.
	So, woo!
	It's a big idea.
	Even though this person talks a lot about students going into debt and being taken advantage of, ask him how they feel about free college.
	Oh, yeah.
	Well, no, it'd be a waste of money because these so-called professors aren't even educated.
	Yeah, what are they doing?
	They're not even legit.
	There's so much to this idea.
	So first of all, the idea of forcing companies to do unpaid or nonpaid internships for two years in order to train their new employees Uh, it's wild.
	It's a wild idea.
	First, it's- Yeah.
	It's wild because they're talking about forcing private companies to do anything, which is, like, antithetical, you know, to the Fox News comment section.
	Uh, it's- For sure.
	It's completely, like, unconstitutional in their mind to have a- for the government to have a say in what
	Any private business or entity does, and the idea that you would be forcing every single company to adopt a new hiring and employment model, a national system of that is crazy, until you like look at the specifics, the specifics, until you look at what he says next, which is that it would be an unpaid two-year internship.
	So we'll have to force these companies to use slave labor for two years.
	And hey, if they don't like it, that's too tough, you know, too bad for them.
	And this is somehow going to, like, enrich the working class or, you know, potential students that they have to work for two years without being paid.
	Hey, they won't incur all that Student debt?
	Yeah, sure, they won't make a fucking dime working full-time for two years, but you know, hey, all these kids live in their mother's basement anyway, right?
	There's no... I'm really happy they didn't do the whole thing where they said, you know, research says, you know, try to back it up with some sort of actual fact.
	So this is just a wild, almost stream-of-consciousness typing that makes no sense.
	It's like, I got an idea.
	What if he gave some people some free labor?
	And with that free labor would come free education.
	And everything else would just come to you?
	It's just like a company already has to train their employees.
	Like almost every company already has to do that.
	For an entry-level employee, there's no operating, there's no like model at all without that part of it, you know?
	Even if you're like already in that career and you change to a different company, you still have to fucking learn how that company operates.
	Yeah.
	But yeah, and then they do give one specific.
	90% of students change careers and waste money. - Okay.
	Um, I don't know the veracity of that statistic.
	Uh, if it is correct, I imagine it's because somebody went to school, you know, for, uh, I don't know, a business degree, or somebody went to school for, um, anything, you know, computer science, or political science, or whatever.
	And now they have to fucking work at Amber Crabby and Fitch.
	Uh, that counts as a career change in this statistic, maybe.
	Because I can only think of a couple people who are now liberal artists.
	Who are not liberal artists?
	That's their job now, being a liberal artist.
	Yeah, what do you do for that job?
	I don't know, but there's a whole degree in it, right?
	Do you do expressive dancing and stuff?
	Like, dancing as communication?
	It's just flash mobs.
	It's just flash mobs as protests for petty things.
	Yeah.
	It's just flash mobs against straws.
	That's it.
	Okay, moving on to our second topic.
	We're actually talking about a real colonizer this time in the form of Christopher Columbus and how there is many movements nationwide to change Columbus Day to Indigenous Peoples Day.
	Which we think is a great idea.
	Fuck Columbus.
	And if we want to meet in the middle with these people, well let me read this comment first, okay?
	So this is just like an introductory look at the topic.
	This is from Kelsey on Facebook, so thanks a lot Kelsey.
	Ricky Laroque says about, you know, the efforts to change Columbus Day to Indigenous Peoples Day.
	That is freaking ridiculous, man.
	It seems like people want to have a war.
	Let's do this and just get it over with.
	That is ridiculous to do that to history.
	So, Civil War.
	Civil War.
	Off the jump, Civil War time.
	Civil War time, Minions Law here.
	For those new to the show, Minions Law is a law we coined on this show to describe the statistical phenomenon wherein if a right-wing comment section goes on long enough, somebody will call for civil war.
	And it's been pretty thorough.
	We haven't done exact data points here, but we have yet to be proven wrong is the problem.
	No, we've improved right over and over again.
	Yeah, so don't do that to history by making a new holiday.
	And then Brittany responds, it's a stupid and pointless holiday.
	He wasn't even looking for America.
	He didn't even find America.
	The people that came over killed thousands for no reason.
	And then Ricky replies, stop hating on white people's history.
	That's what I'm talking about.
	Wow.
	Wow.
	You're just hating on the history of white people.
	You're not... God, it's so... so fucking stupid and shitty.
	Stop saying white people have no culture, sweetie.
	Gestures at thousands of mass graves.
	Yeah, you don't call this tradition?
	Yeah, I mean, you can't really write a better joke than this.
	Yeah, no, he committed genocide.
	And that's what I'm talking about.
	Quit hating on white culture.
	Quit hating on white history.
	I think maybe we should meet in the middle, you know, create an indigenous people's day.
	you know, another time in October or whenever they would like, and then change Columbus Day to White People History Day, where we just learn all about Columbus.
	Yeah, yeah, and taught in detail exactly what happened.
	All right, so as our window into the right-wing mindset about Columbus, Columbus Day, Indigenous Peoples Day, we have a post and video here from PragerU.
	Good old PragerU.
	I think it's been a little bit since we've visited the old Prager University.
	Yeah, at least in not just meme form.
	Yeah, we previously covered PragerU, I don't know if it was the most recent time we've done it, but we previously covered them when we talked about the anniversary of Pearl Harbor and the anniversary of the bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki, which PragerU likes and thinks were good.
	They're very into.
	Um, and surprise, surprise, they also think the, uh, utter genocide of the native peoples of this continent was cool and good.
	And their spokesperson for this idea is none other than Steven Crowder.
	Uh, never, never shy about lending his name to an endorsement of genocide of people of color.
	I'm gonna play clips of this video that are pertinent to our subject, and it's just prepare to be, like, upset.
	Prepare to get mad.
	Yeah.
	You're gonna get bummed.
	At PragerU and Steven Crowder.
	Thanksgiving, Independence Day, Memorial Day, holidays are a great time to riddle Americans with needless oppressive guilt.
	But the one that stands head and shoulders above the rest is Columbus Day.
	The day where progressives indoctrinate your children into believing Columbus to be Satan incarnate, the USA to be his evil spawn, and the Native Americans to be pacifists.
	And so now we have Indigenous Peoples Day, or as it would have been named 30 years ago, Aboriginals Day.
	Or as it would have been named 10 or 15 years ago, Native Americans Day.
	Or as it could be named tomorrow in Canada, First Nation People's Day.
	Feeling the urge to self-inflict grievous bodily harm yet?
	Yeah.
	Definitely.
	Yeah, what the fuck?
	Whole charade has become an exercise in hating Western civilization, which is really just an exercise in hating yourself.
	Okay.
	I mean, it really depends on who you're talking to when you say hating yourself.
	Well, they know their audience.
	Yeah, it's very obvious right there.
	There's two big ideas here.
	The first one, to me, is kind of obvious.
	Indigenous People's Day isn't about Columbus.
	It's about teaching your kids to hate Western civilization.
	You know, people say that when, you know, Ben Shapiro or Prager U or Donald Trump or, you know, Stephen Miller talk about Western civilization, it's like a racist dog whistle.
	You know, it's like a code for white people.
	And it's pretty clear that it is here in this video where they're talking about the decimation of the Native American people Yeah, kind of weird, right?
	of the superior western civilization which for some reason doesn't include the people who lived west of Spain.
	Yeah, kind of weird, right?
	Kind of a strange thing.
	Yeah, so the phrase "western civilization" just completely excluding the native North American population.
	For some reason, who knows why.
	I do like that he's thorough in the sense that this is not just about American indigenous people.
	He fills in aboriginals and also First Nations people of Canada.
	This is not about just American Indigenous people.
	It's about anybody who's been colonized.
	Yeah.
	Hates all of you.
	He wants to be very clear.
	He hates everybody.
	And it's also a good service to his joke.
	Like, hey, these fucking morons, some of them can't figure out their gender.
	Others can't figure out whether they're Indigenous or Aboriginal or First Nations.
	Why should we listen to them?
	Yeah, that's the joke that permeates this video, is that, oh, the PC term has changed over the years, therefore we are, like, under the boot of Native American or indigenous oppression.
	I also like how they're acknowledging the, um, that we've talked about a million times, the weird obsession of Australian, um, because he knows Australians are watching this.
	Oh, he knows it.
	He's hoping on it.
	He knows it, you know?
	Yeah, like he, he, he, that's, there's no way they're not.
	So you gotta, gotta throw the Aboriginals in the cut.
	That's never been a thing in America.
	You know, Americans aren't pushing for indigenous people to be called aboriginals because they're not.
	Yeah.
	You know, it's fucking so stupid.
	The other idea in this clip that I want to talk about real quick is, um, so it's about, you know, Indigenous People's Day is about teaching your kids to hate Western civilization.
	So, there are two conflicting ideas here, because on the one hand, he's saying these atrocities committed by Columbus, well, weren't really atrocities.
	We'll get into that in a minute.
	But these, you know, these bad acts.
	Columbus being naughty-naughty has nothing to do with you.
	You didn't commit genocide.
	You personally didn't kill any Native Americans.
	You personally didn't, you know, I don't know, enact slavery or own slaves.
	You know, why should you be made to feel guilty?
	Why should you identify with Columbus when he did these bad things?
	But then he's also saying that an attack on Columbus himself, which is what Indigenous Peoples Day is about, it's about recognizing those atrocities, you know, committed by those specific people.
	An attack on Columbus himself is actually an attack on you.
	It's an attack on Western civilization and an attack on you personally.
	Yeah.
	He says it right there.
	They want you to hate yourself.
	So this is a phenomenon where they want the credit for, you know, building civilization or whatever, whatever you want to call it.
	They want the credit for doing those things, but none of the blame.
	None of the blame for atrocities committed by ancestors or just previous colonizers.
	And it's just this, like, it's this, you know, doublespeak here that's just fascinating, because I think it's compelling to people, you know, people who don't interrogate this idea at all.
	It's compelling for people to take pride in the founding of the country, but also just, like, reject any idea of, what do you call it, like, being... Taking onus?
	Yeah, complicity.
	Reject any idea of complicity and the bad stuff that happened.
	Yeah.
	And, I mean, all activists are trying to say or all activists are trying to do is just to bring attention to the atrocities.
	They're not trying to, like, force white Americans to, like, claim personal responsibility for those actions.
	But when a white person interprets it that way, then they become pretty suspect.
	They become...
	Pretty suspect and it's clear that there's like a bigger problem on our hands here.
	Let's get into this second video clip.
	First, as far as Columbus goes, the guy deserves some credit, right?
	Flawed, to be sure, but he was the greatest navigator of his age, the first person to cross the Atlantic from the continent of Europe, and he did so without any maps and only three small ships.
	If you can name them, by the way, comment below as I'm sure your professor can't.
	Okay, that part is great.
	Yeah, I fucking love that.
	If you know the names of the ships, comment below because I'm sure your professor can't.
	Your so-called professor can't even name the three ships that five-year-olds are forced to memorize in third grade.
	Or whatever grade you are in five years.
	Also, is he not aware of the movie Step Brothers?
	Because that's how I know it.
	I know the names of the ships from Rage Against the Machine.
	That's how I... Oh, yeah, yeah.
	I think Sleep Now and The Fire.
	You just looked way cooler than I did.
	No, Step Brothers is super cool too, man.
	Which is typical.
	They sing like an opera in that song.
	Operas are super cool, dude.
	Fuck off.
	Probably just as cool as anarchist metalcore.
	New metal.
	Absolutely, it's up there.
	Why would he put his balls on the jump set?
	That's hilarious.
	Yeah, that's true.
	The Step Brothers was funnier than Rage Against the Machine.
	We have to give them that.
	Stop fucking doing that.
	And also, it's great, you know, comment below if you can name those ships.
	So just like millions or I don't know hundreds of thousands of 55 year olds who remember like their third son's name and the names of the three ships are just commenting furiously to own college professors and also providing you know much-needed engagement for this video.
	And I'm sure most of them aren't even like listing them they're just saying I can.
	No, they're listing them.
	I know them.
	They're listing and then they're sharing.
	I mean, if this was, this would be better like social media optimization if he had said, you know, share your answers with your friends list on Facebook.
	Yeah, yeah.
	See if your friends know the answer by sharing this video.
	Only geniuses will know what year Christopher Columbus sailed the ocean blue.
	We should stop because we're going to give PragerU too many good ideas.
	You know, they're going to get huge if we don't stop giving them ideas.
	So fucking funny.
	I bet you know the names of the three ships, unlike liberal socialist professors.
	So amazing.
	He's just like reaching for the Denny's placemat in front of him to copy down the answers.
	Totally.
	Geezy is being a bad girl right now.
	Stop it.
	Also, didn't Columbus notoriously go to the wrong place?
	Isn't that the whole thing?
	Yeah, he didn't go to the right place.
	Yeah, he's a terrible navigator.
	He just was able to, like, survive across the ocean.
	Like, he was- he ended up entirely- we all know that.
	We were taught that part.
	Yeah.
	Let me fin- play the rest.
	America's a happy accident.
	Self-inflict grievous bodily harm yet?
	Wrong video.
	Thank you, Geezy.
	He has taught you the tale of Columbus as a villain, usually as a starting off point to indict the United States as a whole, often relying on a few key myths and some pivotal lies by omission.
	Okay.
	So the idea here is that your liberal professor doesn't care what the names of his ships were at all.
	Probably doesn't even know.
	All they care about is demonizing Columbus with, you know, absurd claims about genocide or whatever.
	And I just wanted to read from a little book called A People's History of the United States here.
	In Columbus's own words...
	So speaking of the Arawaks, Columbus writes, they would make fine servants.
	With 50 men we could subjugate them all and make them do whatever we want.
	He also says, uh, as soon as I arrived in the Indies on the first island which I found, I took some of the natives by force in order that they might learn and might give me information of whatever there is in these parts.
	So just like, uh, instant slavery.
	Just fucking instant, like before his foot steps off the boat.
	He's like, slaves everywhere.
	Here we go.
	I like how everyone's like, we should probably find a source of fresh water.
	He was like, you should probably find some human slaves.
	You know it's thicker than water, right?
	Yeah.
	Slave blood.
	Lots of it.
	True, true, true.
	Third clip here, probably the most infuriating, probably one of the worst things I've ever seen.
	As far as genocide by violence, you can look at any historical account of even the most one-sided battles and find that they were still just that.
	Battles take wounded knee.
	Although hundreds of years later, I only bring it up because I know that if I don't, you will, it's become ubiquitous with the idea of Native American genocide.
	So I have to pause it because throughout this video are South Park style or like what is it Bowling for Columbine ripoff South Park style animations that are illustrating and when he's talking about
	The Wounded Knee Massacre, which has been labeled Battle of Wounded Knee here in like an old-timey cartoon scroll, it's showing American colonists firing indiscriminately on Native American cartoons who are running away, and this is supposed to be like funny and absurd that people would push this myth.
	And there's like Native American corpses on the screen right now as I'm pausing it.
	After all, there were 150 to 350 aboriginals killed or wounded.
	That's terrible!
	But there were also 25 American soldiers killed and 39 wounded.
	That's not genocide.
	That's a one-sided beatdown with old glory wheeled in the hammer.
	So, this video, this dude, has taken the Wounded Knee Massacre, which was a massacre.
	It wasn't a battle.
	It was a massacre where, I mean, I'm sure most of the listeners know what it was, but it was a gun confiscation action.
	On this tribe, where they had almost completely disarmed the entire, you know, village, and just started firing.
	You know, there's different accounts of what happened.
	The main account is that a gun went off accidentally.
	And then the U.S.
	soldiers indiscriminately massacred the entire village, including the fleeing women and children.
	Including unarmed men, because most of them were disarmed.
	A few of them were able to grab guns out of the pile that they had been tossing them in once they had disarmed the Native Americans.
	They followed women and children for miles to murder them as they ran away, as they hid in caves.
	And Stephen Crowder here labels it as a one-sided beatdown with Uncle Sam wielding the hammer.
	Ugh.
	This is like, this is fucking insane.
	This is how far the right is going.
	That we've already recognized, America has already apologized for the Wounded Knee Massacre.
	We've already said that it was a massacre.
	We've already said that it was fucking bad.
	That it was an atrocity.
	Back in like the 80s or something, maybe even further back than that.
	I think so.
	Yeah, it's been a minute.
	And now Steven Crowder and PragerU are arguing that it was a badass beatdown from Uncle Sam.
	Old glory, wielding that hammer.
	It's so fucking disgusting to repaint this as something to be proud of.
	I mean, anything that we've grown up loving, even if it was supposed to be a battle where It was obviously, you know, one-sided.
	There's, like, shame in it.
	Well, and usually, you know, you take prisoners, you accept surrender of the enemy.
	That usually happens in a, you know, extremely lopsided battle.
	Yeah.
	This is just a one-sided beatdown.
	Like, this fucking...
	This dude needs to get jumped.
	Absolute piece of shit.
	He needs to get something that we can't say on this show.
	Yeah, for sure.
	And also, it needs to be heavily one-sided, we'll say.
	So, like I said previously, this was a gun confiscation action on the Native Americans.
	They were forcefully disarmed.
	I mean, if there wasn't ever a perfect, you know...
	Propaganda for the Second Amendment or the right-wing, here it is, but they're just too obsessed with their racism and their Western imperialism to even accept that reality, to even accept that as a good propaganda tool.
	They'd rather just brush past all that and say killing Native Americans en masse was good and cool.
	Not only was it good, it was also very fucking epic.
	What else was I going to say here?
	Oh, when he cites the numbers, he said, yeah, sure, about 350 aboriginals were killed, but the U.S.
	took like 25 losses as well.
	That's not nothing.
	If you read about the massacre, it's unclear how many of those 25 soldiers were killed by friendly fire.
	Because the scene was absolute chaos.
	Somebody got something, but yeah, of course it was.
	God damn it.
	It's so disgusting that this guy who will never engage in any type of violence also... The reason why he sees this as epic is because he's like, if this was Call of Duty, we would have crushed it.
	That's how he views this.
	This is not real to him.
	It's an epic video game win.
	Let's get into the fourth clip here.
	Last clip from this video.
	So the natives often gave as good as they got.
	Not exactly the way genocide usually tends to work.
	Just laughing about genocide.
	Here's another thing I bet you've been made to believe.
	That many Native Americans, sorry American Indians, sorry I don't know what, take your pick, lived in harmony with the environment until Columbus arrived and European settlers destroyed the land with their evil technology.
	There was just a cartoon of a cannon exploding in the face of a Native American.
	You also probably believe that the Native American, sorry, two-spirited, First Nations something or other culture was a beautiful, pantheistic one of peace.
	The truth is, not so much.
	When Columbus arrived, the islands were inhabited by two main tribes.
	The Arawaks, who were passive and friendly, and the Caribs, who were vicious cannibals.
	The Arawaks actually lived in fear of the Caribs for, you guessed it, the reasons being that they hunted them down to enslave them and eat them.
	Okay, so, uh, there have been illustrations this whole time If you're wondering how are we supposed to tell the difference between the Arawaks and the Caribs, it's because the Caribs, the cannibals, are bright red.
	Their skin tone is extremely red and they're wearing, you know, bones in their nose and shit like that.
	Not reddish, like straight red.
	Yeah, they're the bad ones.
	They're the red ones.
	So if you didn't hate Stephen Cotter enough, this is just really sealing the deal here.
	Ironically, we get the name Caribbean Islands from those famous people eaters.
	The only way settlers were able to conquer this land was through the help of Native Americans who teamed up with them to settle the score with other tribes who were even bigger jerks than they were.
	Yeah so Stephen Crowder just getting extremely mad.
	Like Stephen Crowder has this energy constantly of just like a dying comic.
	Somebody just absolutely flailing on stage because I believe that's what he was.
	He was a failed comic and you can see moments on his like live appearances with PragerU or TPUSA or Republican conventions where he gets up and like
	Walks around the stage like a velociraptor ranting about gender studies and shit like that and it's just obviously He was much too pissed to ever be a competent comedian and not pissed in like an insightful way Just like extremely aggrieved at nothing, you know This idea here He's trying to say that You know, natives helped the colonizers wipe the other tribes out or whatever.
	And the way he says that is that he says some tribes helped the colonizers defeat other tribes who were even bigger assholes than they were.
	So just like still calling the helpful tribes assholes.
	Yeah, the peaceful ones.
	Even bigger jerks than them.
	It's like, fuck.
	You never said how they were jerks.
	Apparently for murdering seals to extinction.
	Yeah, that's why we don't have seals anymore.
	But yeah, Steven Crowder should hypothetically die in a fire.
	Hypothetically, yes.
	Let's get into comments here.
	See if there's any fun comments after this.
	Andrew says about Indigenous Peoples Day.
	Yeah, well, my calendar, which is themed after my favorite video game, by the way, still says Columbus Day.
	So go stroke your support gerbil and have a merry Christmas.
	Ooh, he said it!
	He said it.
	He said it!
	He said it in Facebook, let it through.
	I guess they were sleeping on this one.
	The mods were asleep.
	Admins are asleep, yeah.
	Anthony replies, what video game?
	And Andrew replies, Halo!
	It's his favorite video game.
	Yes, because you know Halo is the gold standard of what is correct.
	Halo is the gold standard of which holidays exist.
	Yeah.
	Like, I love, um, I love, like, the people over at Halo, you know, whatever company that is, uh, you know, uh, Ubisoft, Electronic Arts, um, Square, SquareSonics, Whichever company owns Halo, they're like manufacturing the calendars and they're deciding whether or not to put Columbus Day on there.
	And they're just like, we, you know, we have a moral obligation to the fans to get this right.
	And, you know, they went with Columbus Day.
	So Andrew won this argument here.
	Oddly enough, Rosh Hashanah is not in the calendar at all.
	I just want to say Master Chief would have fucking murdered Columbus.
	Oh, facts.
	That would have been a one-sided beatdown.
	So hard.
	He would have fucked him up so hard, I think.
	Yeah, I just love him like this guy, Andrew, just like... Yeah, see it says Columbus Day right here on my badass Halo calendar and then like the picture at the top is a picture of the Covenant.
	It's the Covenant and their dirty invading army, which I'm choosing to interpret as the Native Americans here.
	They were the bad guys invading, you know, the Reach and invading Earth in the video game, just like the Native Americans did their bad stuff here.
	Yeah, yeah.
	Totally kind of missing the swap there.
	It was funny though, this morning when I was getting ready for the day and I was like, shit, because I saw it on the calendar of places and I knew that I wouldn't be getting mail today.
	But I was like, shit, does my kid have school today?
	I mean, I hope she has school today.
	And I was like, yeah, maybe they, cause I remember, I was thinking maybe they finally changed it.
	And then I was like, wait, hold on.
	What am I talking about?
	Like we've had the same shitty president for the past couple of years.
	It's not like he's going to change it.
	Yeah, nothing changes.
	We're for sure having one, we're having one more Columbus day for sure.
	It's the happiest Columbus day.
	Guaranteed one more.
	But yeah, I like the the addendum to this.
	So go stroke your support gerbil.
	You know, like a support animal that's like a pussy liberal thing to have.
	And then also that it's a gerbil.
	Well, that's funny because it's like a weird animal.
	You know, it's like a it's like a totally random animal to reference.
	So obscure.
	But also I think maybe he's just got that one joke about Richard Gere putting a gerbil in his ass in his brain for like the last 20 years.
	And so just if you say a gerbil in whatever, you know, reference you're making, it makes it funnier.
	Yeah.
	Gerbil automatically goes in butts.
	Like we all know this.
	Yeah.
	We know that we've all seen Rick and Morty.
	Um, and have a Merry Christmas.
	You, you bad-ass bastards.
	I love, I love when they use Merry Christmas, like a slur.
	Like a cuss word.
	Like they're saying a profanity?
	Yeah, it's good because one, they think that liberals or the left think that it's a cuss word.
	It's that meme, you're not allowed to say it anymore because PC indoctrination or whatever.
	So they're saying it on purpose.
	He's saying Merry Christmas because he doesn't have the guts to say the n-word, basically.
	Absolutely, yeah.
	That's why we're saying the M-word.
	Saying the M-word, yeah.
	Okay, we should stop saying Merry Christmas on this show.
	I mean, you should.
	Call it the M-word.
	As a Catholic, I get to say it some.
	Hey man, I drink Coca-Cola plenty, bro.
	I'm one of you guys.
	That's true.
	I'll give you that.
	I'll give you that.
	I think I've paid my dues.
	Absolutely.
	Unquestionably.
	Just the idea of like a liberal singing Christmas carols and then like just humming over the part wherever it says like, have a holly jolly mmm.
	It's the best time of the year.
	Well we wish you a mmm hmm hmm.
	Wish you a mmm hmm hmm.
	Thanks, thank you for not saying it, Tony.
	Just, you get pulled up on stage by the mall Santa and you actually fucking say it in front of everybody?
	And does everyone go silent?
	Yeah, there's just Catholics gasping in the audience.
	Excuse me?
	You did have a good flow though, you have to admit it.
	There'll be like a few Catholics who are like, eh, kinda killed it, not gonna lie.
	Yep.
	He knows his way around some bells, you know?
	Hey, you're invited to the Christmas party.
	You're engraved into the potluck.
	Okay.
	Um, yeah, but yeah, so thinking Merry Christmas is a slur is like the same energy as like a little kid who thinks penis is a bad word.
	You know?
	They whisper it?
	Yeah, just like say it to make the adults go crazy and they're just like laughing at you.
	I think that's the right one.
	Norman Sipoznik says, the forgotten victim parentheses S in all this are Italian Americans.
	They lose a day of marching and pride.
	Just change the name to Italian American Pride Day.
	First off, I love that he doesn't know whether or not there's more than one Italian-American.
	Oh yeah, yeah.
	There's a little parenthesis in there?
	Yeah, the forgotten victim or victims in all this are Italian-Americans.
	And then yeah, just the idea of Italian Americans being the victim of the conversation around Indigenous Peoples Day.
	It's very funny because, I mean, you know, we haven't even changed the name of the day yet.
	No.
	It's not even happened yet and they're already victims for floating the idea of it, let alone victims for it actually being changed.
	That's very funny to me.
	And then yeah, if Italian Americans want a day to be proud of, they could just follow Teen Vogue's advice.
	Start celebrating Sacco and Vincetti Day on August 23rd.
	A celebration of the lives of two Italian American anarchists who were murdered by the state in the 30s.
	Oh man, yeah, I mean, I'm good with that.
	There's like actual anti-Italian racism at the heart of that case.
	So it's got everything for them.
	It's people actually worth being proud of who were actually also subjected to real racism wherein they were killed.
	Because of their race.
	And like I was saying to you earlier, I don't know if we really need another Italian Pride Day.
	Uh-huh, uh-huh.
	We already have March 14th.
	You know, 3.14, Pi Day, Pizza Day, Paisano Day.
	Uh-huh.
	That's the day when I celebrate my Italian heritage, you know?
	Yeah, that's a spicy holiday.
	Put the little pizza up high!
	I was gonna stop you at March 14th just to pause to see if the audience, if it's in any way possible that the audience wouldn't get that joke.
	There's no way.
	There's no way.
	It's such a stupid joke.
	It's a terrible joke.
	Scientists everywhere going into the comments section of the Minion Death Cult post to complain about the erasure of actual Pi Day.
	Bye.
	Ha ha ha ha.
	Clears throat This number is not a joke.
	This number is important.
	It is the backbone of everything that exists.
	We know this.
	But yeah, instead of Italian-American Pride Day, we already have one.
	August 23rd.
	Sacco and Vanzetti Day.
	And like my Italian pride, Pi also will never end.
	Mm-hmm.
	Okay, last comment here.
	A.C.
	Baker says, Okay, let's do away with holidays.
	No holidays at all.
	No federal or state-sanctioned holidays.
	Okay, thorough.
	Every worker gets so many flex days to use as you will.
	That sounds awesome, to be honest.
	I mean, have just a bank of floating holidays.
	I mean, if you're in a union, you might already have that, but band-aided across the spectrum?
	It's great.
	Yeah, I'm with it.
	Every worker gets so many flex days to use as you will.
	Give me time, and I'll figure a way to send everybody back to their countries of origin.
	Whoa, huh?
	One more time?
	Laughing face emoji.
	Of course it might be a bit painful.
	Shocked cat face emoji.
	Given the genetic mishmash of everybody in America, but I'll get right on it.
	Crying laughing cat face emoji.
	Wait, is he talking about like, not just sending people back, but like sending back the percentage of yourself to the country of origin?
	Yeah, he's gonna spin you in, like, one of those Futurama genetic centrifuges to separate all the different races inside you into their equal parts.
	Yeah, yeah.
	And then just, like, mail the gobs of flesh back to their countries of origin.
	But we will meet again, like, the, uh, what was that, what's that Terminator, the liquid robot one?
	Uh, two?
	The T-1000?
	Yeah, but it was the second movie.
	We will cross countries and meld together again.
	Yeah, I love the idea here.
	Every worker gets so many flex days to use as you will.
	Give me time and I'll figure out a way to send everybody back to their countries of origin.
	Which, I don't know if that's what he intended, but it really sounds like he's gonna use his holidays to do race science.
	Yeah!
	Like, I just need a little time off from work to follow my passion, which is, you know, ethnic migration.
	Forced ethnic cleansing.
	Well, I mean, that doesn't even sound like a genetic project, more of like a logistics project.
	Yeah, there's a lot of moving parts there.
	And this just, it's weird, I didn't make this connection until just now, but it, you know, this is hilarious to me.
	I mean, obviously, like, the racism and everything is really funny, but the idea of, like, working on this project on your vacation...
	It's like really funny to me and it's you know it's somewhat of a coincidence it's serendipitous that there was a post in one of my UPS Facebook groups today where this guy was bragging about how on his vacation from UPS he got to actually do his dream job which is be a cop.
	He posted a photo of a sheriff patrol car in his driveway and said, uh, yeah, now that I'm on my vacation, I get to do my actual dream job.
	Uh, shame it doesn't pay as much as UPS.
	Can we just casually be a cop for the weekend?
	Cause like, I don't, it's, I don't want to be a cop, like, but maybe just for like the weekend.
	Yeah, just in order to get behind the glass at banks or something.
	Totally.
	We would make a difference to tell you that much.
	Copy a couple keys.
	Yeah.
	Liberate a couple people.
	Just like the idea of working at all, bragging about working on your vacation has such extreme bootlicker energy, but then for it to be a cop, for it to be working as a fucking sheriff's deputy or whatever the fuck that is.
	Yeah, it's completely psycho, but it makes sense, you know, given everything we've already documented with this show.
	And it's very similar to this comment, because dude was working, he's part of a union, he has the flex days, the floating holidays and everything, and when he takes those days, he decides to pursue ethnic cleansing as a cop.
	Yeah, let's go figure this out.
	Let's put the work in.
	That's awful.
	That's awful.
	What was the response?
	Did people roast him?
	No.
	Did you shoot somebody?
	The comments were like, love, and then laugh.
	So a few people were roasting him.
	I tried to roast him.
	Nobody liked or responded to my comment or else I would have gotten a notification.
	But people were like, man, this sucks.
	And then everybody else was like, tight dog.
	That's so cool.
	Did you listen to Forensic while you did it?
	You're finally allowed to sing along to Forensic!
	You can say all the words!
	Dream job!
	Definite dream job!
	You can say all those cop words.
	There's probably like dudes out there who are proud they know every word of the Miranda rights but like not in like a social justice way but in a way it's like just in case like I do a citizen's arrest.
	Not like I know your rights but like I know it because I cop cosplay all the time.
	Yeah.
	All right, that's it for the episode.
	Thanks so much for getting through it with us, folks.
	Heavy subject matter.
	Hopefully we lightened the load a little bit.
	Remember to check out our episode with Violet Wanderers, Violet Like the Color Wanderers podcast.
	Fun stuff there.
	Remember to come see us on tour.
	Link is in the episode description to get tickets.
	We'd love to see all you folks there hang out after the show, do all that.
	Patreon supporters, subscribe to Patreon, P-A-T-R-E-O-N dot com slash MinionDeathCult, patreon.com slash MinionDeathCult for a bonus episode every week, sticker packs at $5 a month, and a chance to win one of those sweet, sweet coins that is worth exactly nothing.
	Yeah, literally nothing except for what, you know, you paid for them.
	Subscribe by the end of October.
	And everybody, you don't have to be a new subscriber, just everybody in the Patreon will get a chance to win that.
	So thanks for everybody's support.
	We really appreciate it.
	Write to us, MinionDeathCult, at gmail.com.
	Follow us on social media at MinionDeathCult Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.
	Join the Facebook group, Minion Death Commandos.
	We have a lot of fun in there, and that's about it, right Tony?
	Yeah, yeah, I think so.
	You know, yeah, definitely feel free to reach out to us online.
	We love talking to y'all.
	Yeah, we're pumped.
	Yeah, if you need to get a hold of Tony, Twitter is the place to go.
	He ain't having no Facebook.
	It's just not for me.
	I want it to be.
	I'm trying harder, but yes, Twitter is where you can get at me.
	None of the conservative groups I'm in on Facebook would let him in for some reason.
	It's weird.
	I don't know what it is.
	Alright, thanks for listening everybody.
	Bye. Deuces. Deuces. Deuces. Deuces. Deuces. Deuces. Deuces. Deuces.
	Bye.
	My world is my expense The cost of my desire
	Jesus blessed me with his future!
	I don't know.

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