Minion Death Cult - Sh*t The F*ck Up: A Deep-Dive into Cop Facebook (clip) Aired: 2019-06-07 Duration: 04:09 === Your Rights, Shit Edition (04:09) === [00:00:00] Robert Oakes says, here's your Miranda rights, uh, spelled incorrectly. [00:00:06] One, you have the right to shit the fuck up. [00:00:10] Which I didn't even know- I didn't even notice it was written shit the fuck up until just now. [00:00:16] Which is crazy because if you ever try to write shut- if you ever try to write shit, it will autocorrect to shut every single time. [00:00:24] Yeah, I mean, you know, this is the early age of autocorrect. [00:00:29] It's really weird that it didn't catch this. [00:00:33] You have the right to shit the fuck up. [00:00:39] Shit the fuck up? [00:00:40] Is that like when you're trying to have sex and you accidentally poop and you mess up the sex? [00:00:48] Man, you really shit the fuck up. [00:00:50] It's like shitting the bed, but worse. [00:00:57] It's more specific. [00:01:00] I mean, I don't wanna, I don't wanna shame anybody here for their... Well, I'm just saying in this context, the phrase would be used in a negative way. [00:01:10] Yeah, oh, absolutely. [00:01:11] You know, for people who aren't, you know, for people who, the minority who aren't into that kink, this is what they would say. [00:01:18] The rare few. [00:01:20] You have the right to shit the fuck up. [00:01:26] You have the right to shit the fuck up. [00:01:27] Anything you say will cause me to fucking throat punch you. [00:01:32] Dot dot dot dot dot. [00:01:34] To fucking throat punch you. [00:01:36] Which is also very much a product of that era. [00:01:40] The throat punch I feel like is a very... [00:01:43] 2010 threat? [00:01:44] Yeah, that was in a lot of these memes. [00:01:47] It was a lot of like, share this image if you think soldiers should be allowed to throat punch anyone who spits on them in public. [00:01:56] Just like such a specific wish. [00:02:00] Just such like a specific fantasy you have. [00:02:02] You have a fantasy about a soldier getting spit on in public and then being able to punch someone in their throat for that. [00:02:10] Also, do you think that any soldier would not throat punch somebody that, like, spit on them in public? [00:02:17] Yeah. [00:02:17] Now they can get away with it more? [00:02:20] Well, yeah, I think you're, like, kinda calling soldiers pussies if you think they care about, you know, uh... [00:02:29] Laws, civil laws, or, uh, customs, or, like, the Geneva Convention. [00:02:35] Like, we all know, uh, only cucks give a shit about that. [00:02:40] Fake facts. [00:02:41] Um, two. [00:02:43] You have the right to an attorney. [00:02:45] Again, spelled incorrectly. [00:02:47] Dot, dot, dot, dot, dot. [00:02:48] If you can't afford one, that's your fucking fault. [00:02:51] Dot, dot, dot, dot. [00:02:53] You should have done better in life. [00:02:55] Dot, dot, dot, dot. [00:02:58] Oh my god, that, again, totally, at that era, I'm winning at life! [00:03:06] Yeah, um, can't afford an attorney, well why don't you go to fucking law school then? [00:03:13] You know, something like that, like, uh, what, you're too poor to afford an attorney, why don't you start a business, start a law firm? [00:03:24] Yeah. [00:03:24] Why don't you just read the books and defend yourself? [00:03:28] Three. [00:03:30] At any point, you can decide to fuck off. [00:03:33] Dot dot dot dot. [00:03:34] But if you did that in the first place, then I wouldn't have to waste my time reading you your rights, you pile of shit! [00:03:43] With, uh, five exclamation points. [00:03:47] I do imagine this is the most mundane crime. [00:03:50] This is the smallest crime. [00:03:52] This is just like a failure to appear. [00:03:54] Uh, you have a worn out, sorry I gotta arrest ya. [00:03:59] But also, like, at any point you can decide to fuck off? [00:04:02] I don't think that's how an arrest works. [00:04:04] Hey, ooh, you know what? [00:04:06] This is going great, but can I actually just fuck right off? [00:04:08] Can I fuck off instead?