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July 9, 2018 - Minion Death Cult
01:16:08
56 - Burger King Cop

Support the show and get a bonus episode every week at Patreon.com/miniondeathcult This week we have a cult leader shake-up, and Leigh joins us to talk about a couple very serious issues: How the emasculation of modern dogs is making them afraid of fireworks and a Police Officer posts a call-to-action on his facebook page about the dirty burger he was served at Burger King  

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Time Text
The liberals are destroying California, and conservative humor gone awry... Conservative humor gone awry is going to fascistphonia today.
So stay tuned, we're going to take a few pictures of the desert and how their policies are actually messing it up.
It's not beautiful when you go across that border.
But stay tuned, guys, and we'll show you exactly what, uh... We'll show you exactly what it looks like when, uh...
Stay tuned.
I'm Alexander Edward.
And I'm Tony Boswell.
And we are Minion Death Cult.
Go!
Yeah!
Man, that was just so bad.
Oh!
Whoa!
Wait.
Well, I'm talking about a Minion Death Cult.
Minion Death Cult, oh yeah.
The world is ending.
Pussy-ass dogs are responsible.
We're documenting it.
So, sorry about the bonus episode last week.
We were just knee-deep in American patriotism, too concentrated on the health of our nation to produce an episode that would crap all over it.
It just didn't feel right to release an episode on the 4th of July.
Yeah, I wasn't celebrating the Fourth of July, I was still recovering from my Juneteenth hangover.
Because I don't fuck with Fourth of July.
So, I literally stayed home and it was one of the best holidays I've ever had.
Yeah, I had a nice low-key one, it was nice.
So there was that reason, we didn't put out a bonus episode, and also we have had a shift in management at this company.
Matt has left the show on Amicable terms.
The show is going to be different without him and we loved having him here.
But it's also going to be the same show.
We're going to be doing the same show.
He will still be here in spirit by way of the cannabis he provides for me in my lungs that I will be smoking throughout the episode.
So he is still with us.
Still helping to keep this show very chill.
He is still using his black market plugs to hold the show down, and we appreciate him very, very much.
Black market plugs sounds like some experimental sex toy you can only buy on the deep web.
Never said it wasn't.
So, today we have a guest, returning champion, you may know her from That Awful Sound, you may know her from Minion Death Cult, Leigh-Anne Dieffendorf.
How you doing, Leigh?
I'm doing great.
I just finished my classes at the Scarlett Johansson School of Acting, so I will be playing the role of Matt today.
I look forward to this.
I think this is going to be an Oscar award-winning performance.
I just think it's good we finally have a movie about a white man, like, no matter who plays him.
Very true.
Thank you for joining us today, Leigh, as always.
Of course.
So this episode is going to be, I think, fairly light-hearted compared to our usual fare.
You know, normally we're talking about, like, a literal death cult that is America, and we'll probably touch on that here and there, but we have much more fun topics today because, as we mentioned, it was the 4th of July and You know, a lot of people don't realize this, but there is a struggle associated with the holiday.
Like, the holiday is for a reason.
Like, people had to fight to get that holiday and still fight to this day to celebrate the holiday because if you didn't know, there are pervasive forces at work trying to deny your right to shoot bottle rockets at your neighbor's dog.
This is a huge issue, apparently, and we're going to dive into it today.
Our second topic is adjacent to previous topics in a couple ways.
One, it's about the cops.
It's about a cop.
And two, it's about fast food politics.
It's a big form of political activism in this country.
Domestic troops.
And we're talking about a cop who was so convinced that he was disrespected at a Burger King that he posted on Facebook about it, about how the fast food employees who do not deserve a living wage, and this is why, put dirt in his goddamn hamburger!
Which he noticed after devouring nine-tenths of it.
So he posted on it about this utter disrespect on Facebook, and it went viral, went to the news.
And we'll finish up that story.
It's got a pretty great ending.
We'll finish that up when we get to that topic.
So let's just start off with...
Fourth of July.
Birth of A-Nation.
One of them.
What we're working on becoming two.
We'll get there, though.
We have a post here from a Facebook group.
And this is a third-hand account.
of a minion in the wild.
So normally we go through like, you know, an actual minions post.
This is somebody sort of like doing our job for us, relaying a story about their dad.
And it goes something like this.
Watching the news with my dad, the story they were playing was how to keep your pets comfortable during the fireworks.
I kid you not, this man just said, meaning their dad, just said, these dogs are like kids nowadays.
They are pansies.
I said, did you seriously just say that?
He replies with, when I was growing up, dogs didn't give a shit about the fireworks.
They dealt with it.
Who is he?
Then his dad said, all these dogs are bitches.
No, no, it's cool.
Cause it's dogs.
Get it?
It's dogs.
It's fine.
I can say it.
I can say it.
It's in the dictionary.
It means ignorant.
Some of my best friends are dogs.
I'm allowed to say it.
I grew up around a lot of dogs.
I listen to rap music.
Oh, nevermind.
I used to have a good boy, now I just got a soy boy.
So yeah, this is a phenomenon that was totally new to me.
Like, I'm aware of, you know, people's animals reacting negatively to loud fucking explosions outside their houses, but I had no idea that this was a new development in, like, animal socialization.
Yeah, they're a bunch of soft-ass dogs now.
Back in my day, you know, a dog used to have respect and not turn down from a fight.
They would show up.
Well, that was because you had a chain around their neck.
Absolutely.
Back in my day, we're all familiar with the The dramatization of the real life event where you would shoot your pet dog when he went feral or rabid.
Well, what they don't tell you in the movie Old Yeller is that when you would shoot your dog, you would make all your other animals watch every time you killed one of them as like a warning to them, but it also desensitized them to the sound of loud explosions.
And nowadays we just don't kill our dogs anymore.
Well, my dog is still a good old-fashioned dog, and when he went rabid, he went ahead and shot himself.
Well, that's also probably possibly a symptom of PTSD, which is... Just a second.
We'll get there.
We'll get there.
Okay, so, like I said, this is a phenomenon that I wasn't aware of, but apparently, no, this is a thing that, like, baby boomers, like, think that dogs are wimps now.
I mean, prove to me they're not.
And, you know, I think the obvious thing to say here is that just, like, no, dogs, uh, did give a shit about fireworks.
We just used to not give a shit about dogs.
Give a sh- Yep, yep.
Right?
Yep.
That's, like, the obvious thing here.
Uh, Bruce Hamilton, in a totally different comment section, but about dogs and fireworks, says, Not all pets are affected.
This is my lab next to our fire pit when Yuba City sounded like a war zone.
There was like a really boring picture of the back of a dog.
It just looked like a black blob on screen so I didn't include it.
Much of pets reactions are trained.
If you coddle them when they are reacting poorly, you are doing the damage.
Train them that noises mean nothing if the alpha is calm and the animal will stay calm.
So what you do is you grab your dog by the collar, put your nose on their snout, look them dead in the eye, and fire a gun off right next to their ear.
Repetitively.
It just makes them deaf so they don't respond to it, but it works.
And then urinate all over them.
People don't pee on their dogs anymore and it's a shame.
Like, he thinks that your shih tzu is going wild because you also hide under the couch whenever there are fireworks going on.
Like, it's pretty simple.
Like, don't run through plate glass windows on the 4th of July and your dog will learn not to do that.
Well, not only that, but I mean, they kind of got it backwards, because like myself, my canine, my trained canine, only speaks German.
And the reason why my dog is not scared of fireworks is because he's wearing a bulletproof vest.
So even if it was a gun, he wouldn't be scared.
Dude, I fucking guarantee you there are Thunder Shirts that look like Flak Jackets.
Oh no, there for sure are.
No, there are Flak Jackets that fit dogs.
That's not a joke.
Well, yeah.
I guess not.
So that's why you aim for the head.
When you buy the Flak Jacket for the dog, you get this sticker for your car that says, Working Canine On Board.
Pam Lee says, there has always been fireworks, and our dogs are fine.
So know we have all these aliens moving in here who have no idea how to raise a dog.
Seriously.
If you've ever seen the Pam Lee video, the one on the boat, there's actually a dog very calmly off to the side, just in the bow of the boat, just hanging out very calmly, even with all those loud noises.
But see, it's confusing.
Go ahead.
He's watching Pam get blasted that whole time, right?
Exactly.
Which is sending mixed signals, you know, from the alpha to the beta.
So there must be some extra training involved.
Again, only speaks German, so it's different.
No, this is definitely a thing.
Like, Mexicans don't socialize their dogs.
Like, this is something a white person has told me in front of a Mexican person.
Wow.
It's like, no, I don't think race has anything to do with why some dogs suck.
That's really interesting.
Like, dog racism?
Like, they don't even lick their mouths.
They don't even let him sleep on their pillows.
Yeah.
They makin' me gluten.
No shots of the gluten-free dogs.
My canine is also gluten-free.
A.D.
Lee, brother of Pam Lee, apparently, says, LOL just when you th- Okay, so this is from a post about, like, new drugs to make your dog calm, which are objectively a good thing.
Yeah, by the way, there's been a lot of research and a lot of things done right now with CBDs being used for animals and calming and healing.
CBD is a great thing.
Go ahead and look into that, guys.
Your local pet store should have it now.
If not, ask for it.
Is your dog all super stoned, gazing up at fireworks?
Let them enjoy it.
Yeah, very chill.
Let them see it in HD.
A.D.
Lee says, LOL, just when you thought you heard it all, SMH.
There are way more important things than drugging up a dog.
Get a grip, please.
Like, I like to, I like to think that he's interpreting this as, like, drugging up dogs is like, like a pastime.
Yeah.
It's like a recreational activity.
It's like, dude, you got bills to pay.
What are you doing feeding dogs acid?
Do you even watch the footage later on or are you just, what do you do?
I can't believe we're talking about giving dogs drugs when the murder rate in Chicago is sky high.
Why is nobody talking about this?
It's hard to, a good dog won't be drugs because a good dog can smell drugs out and will alarm you to when drugs are around.
It'll shut down its body so that it can't be drugged.
Oh god, yeah, it has ways of stopping that whole thing.
Yeah.
Why are we talking about, like, you know, because obviously dogs get scared and run away from home and, like, people are worried, oh god, my dog's missing.
Why are we worried about homeless dogs when there are thousands of homeless vets out on the street?
I mean, with all the, if the dogs were home, these vets would have work, right?
That's what you're talking about, right?
Animal doctors?
Oh, okay.
I thought you were going to say, like, why can't I pay a vet to bring me my slippers?
Nope.
Animal doctors.
They're all the same thing.
I got it, Tony.
I was on that train.
Our train of stupidity.
I'm happy you're on it with me.
And then finally, we have a meme here.
It's like an old-fashioned, totally real, like, Wild West sepia print, not taken at Disneyland or anything.
Of a man standing with a gun, cowboy attire, with his trusty canine by his side.
Top text reads, if your dog is scared of fireworks, bottom text, you might own a cat.
So stupid.
Hey Alex, how did your cats respond to the fireworks?
Uh, one of them was super chill and the other one wasn't.
It's like, that's not a thing.
No.
Statistically, cats don't run away nearly as much as dogs do.
All the dogs go missing, all the cats just come back the next day.
If a human didn't understand what was happening on the 4th of July, They'd be pretty anxious, I think.
They'd freak the fuck out.
Watch the 4th of July happen on, like, I don't know, the 2nd of March.
See how that goes down.
Ever seen that movie with that baby who was born on Independence Day?
He was scared as fuck.
Baby's Day Out?
No, it was that he got so scared that he lost his legs, I think.
Oh, right.
You haven't seen that one.
Also ran through a plate glass window.
Yeah, born on the 4th of July.
Oh, yeah.
OK, so the second half of this fire, this this completely controversial firework 4th of July topic is about PTSD and our non non-medical vets.
There was a, you know, there's a sign, there's like been a campaign going around if, you know, vets who have PTSD and they might be sensitive to, you know, loud explosions happening right outside their house.
So they, this company sells or gives out signs that say, you know, a A combat veteran lives here, please be considerate.
Right?
Doesn't say, like, don't have fireworks, outlaw fireworks.
Just says, be considerate.
And, fuck no.
Nope.
Absolutely not.
So there's a big backlash to this among the vet community as well as the civilian community and including this like op-ed that I read from a website called taskandpurpose.com.
Oh my god.
Which is like a military website.
Is it?
Is that what it is?
Didn't see that coming at all.
I don't know.
It's either a military website or it's like a website about being a traditional wife.
It's kind of the same thing though.
Tying back to that awful sound this week.
If fireworks... So this is the title.
This is the headline.
If fireworks bother you on 4th of July, don't get a sign.
Get earplugs.
Wow.
Like, they know because they have earplugs.
They don't want to hear it.
They just put earplugs on and ignore what you're saying.
This person has never been to a Sun-Oh show.
This person has never been to any sort of rock or music concert at all.
What was the first show where you were like, maybe I should check out earplugs?
I haven't been able to hear anything since I was like 18.
The first time I was like maybe I should wear earplugs was when my old hardcore band was practicing with two half cabs, an 8x10 bass cab, a full drum set, and a PA in Tomas' bedroom.
I literally had to sit on the loft bed for us to all fit in there.
Yeah, I haven't worn... I never wore earplugs until I had kids.
I still don't do it, but I still think it's probably a good idea.
If the sound of babies bothers you, don't get an abortion.
Get earplugs.
If the sound of an abortion bothers you... Get a sign.
Just wait for that next Supreme Court nomination.
Okay, so this article goes, Brothers and sisters, if your PTSD is so bad that you need to live in complete quiet, you need treatment, not a yard sign.
Like, okay, I don't think those two are mutually exclusive.
No, not at all.
A lot of the treatment would be along the lines of, you know, be open about your illness and try to talk about it and work with it and hopefully you can have a community that will work with you.
That's what's supposed to be happening.
No, you only have room for one sign in your yard, and it either says, uh, pity me, I'm cuckoo crazy, or it says, uh, please be considerate.
And we know which one is the good one.
If that's not an option, or if it's not coming in a timely manner, head over to the Super Walmart and take matters into your own hands.
Don't wait on the government or ask your neighbor to do something for you that you can do yourself.
So, holy shit.
This dude talking about, like, a, uh, Red Dawn-style military takeover of your local Super Walmart so that people don't shoot Roman candles at your ass.
I'm actually going to start a non-profit where we will provide earplugs for veterans with signs.
The organization is going to be called PTSD, and it stands for Pussies Taking Signs Down.
Can we combine that with my not-for-profit campaign of giving out fake Walmart greeter vests to vets so that they can safely infiltrate their local Walmart and take it down from the inside?
Because I'm actually really down with that idea.
I'm good with that, yeah.
Yeah, so, no.
Don't ask your neighbors to be considerate.
Stage a fucking military occupation of your local Walmart.
This is great.
This is great stuff to feed out to people with PTSD.
Well, now that they can't sell guns, they probably can be taken over.
Do they not sell guns?
I don't know.
That's something that someone would say, though, right?
Right.
I think they probably still sell, like, enough guns.
Yeah, they definitely still sell guns.
They just sell a little bit less ammo.
They just don't sell bump stocks anymore.
I mean, this is kind of the solution for anything.
Like, hey, if you don't like that restaurant that kicked out Sarah Sanders, just go in there and take matters into your own hands.
Right?
If she would have had earplugs, she wouldn't have heard them tell her to leave.
Can we take a break real quick?
Yes.
We can get you one of those catheter things that people use at sporting events.
Yeah.
Or that people who watch Fox News use.
Right.
One of those easy glide catheters.
Disposable.
Yeah, no one wants pain when they cath.
Hashtag cathing.
Cath life.
Don't bother me, I'm cathing.
I've been at some pretty intense live sports events where I missed a major thing because I went to the bathroom, but I still have had no desire to do that.
And that's seeing a team whose logo I have tattooed on my body.
And I still am not like, nah, that sounds like a good idea.
I want to have a hot pouch of pee next to me.
And I feel like there's no pouch that would be big enough to be discreet.
Is that a catheter that goes over your dick, or do you still have to... I think it's like an over-the-dick catheter, yeah.
Which sounds awful.
Yeah, it's like a little cap.
It's a fuckin' diva cup for your dick?
Yeah, it's a cap for your cap.
What's even worse is, mostly when I watch sports, I get aroused, so it would totally... this would not work.
You'd have to get a magnum diva cup.
Sorry, babe.
I can't wear catheters.
I'm just too big.
It just doesn't feel the sensation.
A guy at CVS next to me at the checkout had a pack of Magnum condoms.
And the checker was all, whoa.
Oh, cool.
And then the guy didn't buy them.
So maybe I'm not that big.
And then I yelled, oh, can I try one on before I buy it?
No, you have to use the loner one.
No, you just have to wear a condom before you put it on.
Like a sock with a shoe.
Okay.
They have like nylon ones.
Yeah, they have nylon ones.
Actually, I don't think we know about that.
Can you inform us about lady problems with swimsuits?
You're supposed to wear your underwear when you try on swimsuits, but they also have like a little sanitary strip in case you go in commando.
That sticker?
Yeah.
That people always put on the sides of dressing room walls.
That makes sense.
I love that.
That's like some urban, or not urban, but like guerrilla street art.
Okay, so, uh, remaining in this sort of, uh, PTSD vet-centric fireworks discussion, Jeff Lewis says, Fire walks are symbolism of the fiery musketry that we shot in the face of a tyrannical government that denied us our freedom.
Someone missed history class.
Oh, we shit.
You know in a history class they explain to you the symbolism of fireworks?
Actually, yeah.
That's the sad part.
I mean, it's for like the rocket's red glare or something?
Yeah, that came out of the muskets.
I remember thinking, what fucking rockets did they have back then?
Didn't they have tomahawk missiles yet?
North Korea was just not even a country back then.
North Korea was just Korea.
Last Rebel says, no one appreciates veterans and the ordeals they go through more than me.
Wait for it.
We know who this person voted for.
With that said, I believe they really need to face their fears.
Instead of hiding in the house, go out and shoot the dadgum fireworks themselves.
They're just fireworks.
Work through it.
Okay, do we want to place bets on if this guy actually served?
We would know if he served.
He would have told us in the first fucking sentence.
This guy definitely, like, hasn't served, but he has claimed to have been waterboarded by his friends.
This guy hasn't served, but he's owned every piece of gear that someone who has served would own.
Yeah, from a particular side of World War II?
Sure.
Yeah.
Uh, they really need to face their fears instead of hiding in the house, go out and shoot the fireworks themselves.
Yeah, immersion therapy worked out so well for Chris Kyle.
Oh God, yep.
Like literally decades of studies about mental health and PTSD can be summed up in the idea of just like, no, just go out and have people fire shit at you and you'll be better.
And don't fire the fireworks, have them fired at you.
That way you know that they just burn for a second and then it just goes away.
Go back, why don't you, if you're so, if you're so bent out of shape by your experience in the war, why don't you go back to Vietnam and finish the job?
Get some closure, right?
Yeah.
Therapists are always talking about closure and finding peace.
Well, I mean, technically we're still at war in the Vietnam.
But you just go to Vietnam.
Or no, that's Korea.
They just go to Vietnam and do really gross things for, like, small amounts of money.
They, like, pay two grand to, like, kill a guy and, you know, do all the gross stuff that people do in Vietnam on their weird tourism.
Go back and get addicted to heroin again.
Make heroin addictive again.
Immerse yourself.
You know how they tell, like, addicts to immerse yourself?
Yeah, that's totally what they say.
Do you ever, like, go visit your dealer for closure?
Go talk to them.
Just say, hey, like... You have this annoying fear of heroin that, uh, it's really pissing me off.
Like, go out and deal with it.
The times people choose to respect the troops and not respect the troops is so bizarre.
It's like, I'm just not standing.
I'm just sitting down for a certain period of time, and you're like, fuck you, I want you to go back to that nightmare.
I mean that's another reason why we hate pussy ass dogs is because instead of standing at attention on the 4th of July, they're like cowering in the closet.
Like a fucking football player.
Like a fucking football player.
Now my dog runs away but he's running towards the fireworks.
While other dogs run through plate glass windows, mine runs out the front door.
Through a plate glass front door.
Okay, let's move to the second half of this episode, which, again, so amazing.
So happy for this story, because it's since been taken down, but it went super viral over the course of a few days.
And, um, shout out to the Facebook group.
So this is the Right's fabled memeing ability.
For spotting this you know a day after it had been picked up or the same day apparently the same day it was posted Because this is truly amazing.
It's just one of those posts that like a Comment every other second was happening 20,000 shares in 12 hours and Because it taps into all these politics that we're constantly fucking talking about.
You know, the politics that... The politics that exist when your... Your preferred political party is in power.
Like... All you have left to complain about is fast food.
All you have left to complain about is, like, somebody on TV not standing.
Or somebody on TV who got fired for a racist comment.
So this is from Mac O'Durham, who has a Blue Lives Matter profile picture, but it's like an old glory Blue Lives Matter flag?
Yeah, I like this one because they maintain the old colors and just added the blue.
They didn't do that weird all black and white one.
They kept the colors in there, so it remains true to the essence of America.
It is kind of weird that the normal Blue Lives Matter flag is all black and white.
Yeah.
It's like in a race war, we're the only thing standing against that.
Yep.
Or something.
Well, it's just weird because the red and blue in the flag, the red stands for the blood that was spilled for our freedom.
But joke's on you, because see, before you bleed, blood's actually blue inside of your veins.
The oxygen makes it red.
Right.
That's a fact I like to believe.
And cops don't bleed.
So Mac O'Durham says, Ladies and gentlemen of the line!
Talking about line cooks, right?
I think he's talking about the customer line.
People standing behind me.
Ladies and gentlemen of the line, I was the officer who has served a burger at Burger King at 4004 something Avenue in Fort Myers with dirt in it.
At first I thought it was just burned old bacon.
I was hungry and ate the burger.
You know, sometimes you burn bacon so bad that it looks like dirt.
At the last bite, I saw dirt and grit on the burger.
In disgust, I threw it out of the window.
It's the last bite.
Convenient.
Can you picture him going, YUCKY, and then throwing it out the window?
I quickly noticed that my receipt had big block letters with the word POLICE on it.
This has never been the case previously.
I went inside and made contact with the manager who just said, sorry, what do you want me to do?
Have you made contact?
Have you got eyes on the manager?
Just before speaking to the manager, the staff member from the drive-thru asked, what the matter officer?
Something wrong with your order?
Then she and the other staff had a good laugh.
You will find out why they thought he is so funny later on.
I would love it if they put dirt in this asshole's burger and then laughed in his face.
I don't care what the reality of the story is at this point.
I want to believe him that he's just getting mocked by the people who poisoned his hamburger.
He wanted to just recreate this scene from Super Troopers but couldn't bring himself to pour soda on his uniform.
Oh, you know he wanted to so badly.
I still got so many hours left in the day.
I'll be sticky.
I can't do this.
I'm genuinely shocked that I haven't seen Blue Lives Matter memes with Farveh on them.
With how, like, comfortable conservatives are identifying with the villains of popular movies.
Well, you just wait for it till tomorrow morning when you wake up to a series of memes I've made featuring Farveh.
Just before speaking to the manager, okay I already read that part, then she and the other staff had a good laugh.
Someday we first responders just want to grab a quick bite because we are overwhelmed with calls and this is how we are treated.
I love that he's referring to himself as a first responder.
Yeah.
Like just trying to cash in on 9-11.
Like what, right?
That's like all it is.
That's the only time that you heard first responders, right?
That's what it is.
No, no, the thing is that they were all with them.
Every officer was with those officers that were officering that day.
Well, it's also like you're kind of stealing valor from like firefighters and shit too, you know?
Yeah, it's like they were just stealing things from the streets of New York, but like that's stealing valor and that's not cool.
You guys remember when the cops stole all that stuff?
Yeah, cops stole a bunch of stuff during 9-11.
Like rebar in the shapes of crosses and stuff?
I wish.
No, like just things from stores.
They were all wearing work boots, ironically.
It's crazy.
I contacted corporate offices and they said, not our problem.
We'll have the franchise owner contact you.
When contacted by the franchise owner, he said, it is impossible for dirt to get into food.
You're crazy.
Every one of these burgers is hermetically sealed until you open it with your teeth.
I love that explanation.
No, it's like literally impossible for dirt to get on your food.
If you can get dirt into this kitchen through our four vacuum chambers, then yeah, I'll go ahead and give you a free burger, but until you do that... I'm picturing them just like spraying down the burger with that like...
You know, ShamWow for your shoes that waterproofs them.
Yep.
You know, and it's just like you spray down the burger with this like sealant and then you try to throw dirt at it and it just doesn't stick.
It just rolls right off.
You can just blow it off.
Like the whole kitchen is covered in that like tacky tape that you put like on the floor to get dirt off your shoes when you go into places and you just smack all the food up against it a couple times.
Yeah.
Just somebody taking, like, a dust broom to the top of the patties and sweeping all the dirt off of it like a good fast food employee.
Our food swiffer has been working overtime this week.
Just taking a tray of freshly cooked patties into the bathroom and holding them under the hairdryer.
The hand dryer, I mean.
that all pass through a Dyson hand blade.
So to my brothers and sisters I say this: Only eat at safe places and check your food beforehand.
And then he ends it with the best sign-off possible, which I'll throw to Tony.
Excelsior!
What the fuck, man?
Are you familiar with the word Excelsior?
Do you know the definition of Excelsior?
Yeah, it's the sign-off for a middle-aged man who's stolen work from his former partner.
Yes.
Besides Stan Lee, it literally says, uh, it's only, it's just used in names.
Names of hotels, newspapers, and it, that, that addition to the name, uh, is to indicate like superiority, like high quality.
Is it, is it at the end of the name or before the name?
Uh, just in the name.
That's the whole thing.
Weird.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's all it is.
So it's not even, it's just a weird thing you can add to a name.
So it's definitely not a, it's not a, a sign off.
It's not a, even a statement of any sort.
Like if his name was, uh, Mac O'Durham, uh, Excelsior, that would make more sense than this Excelsior with several exclamation marks.
Oh, he's definitely doing the fucking Stan Lee thing.
Like, this is a total nerd who, like, read Batman and sympathized with the bumbling cops.
I mean, I realize Batman is DC, so forget that joke.
No, he wanted to be like Batman.
Oh, if you're forgetting that joke, I was going to really get into it.
He wanted to be like Batman, but knew that he was never going to be charming or rich or skilled, so he still wanted to wear a blue uniform.
Did it the only way he can.
No, this is literally him being Stan Lee and like, gentle listeners.
Today I was disrespected at Burger King.
In order to regain my respect, send $5 postage paid to Mac O'Durham.
This guy got a fucking sourdough king.
If you want a sourdough burger, you definitely go to Jack in the Box, friend.
Like, you're fucking up from the jump.
I didn't even know that Burger King had sourdough bread.
What the fuck is Tom Pep?
I don't know, man.
I thought it was like a tomato pepper something.
He basically got no vegetables of any kind and added mayo, which is like what a six-year-old child would get if they went to Burger King.
Wait, you mean to tell me that you eat sourdough bread without mayo?
You don't just wake up in the morning?
No, when I get a sourdough jack, I'm getting it with mayo.
Oh no, I just have it in the morning on my toast.
Okay.
I'm kidding.
Mayonnaise is disgusting.
You people are freaks.
I get mayonnaise only because mustard is too spicy for me.
I eat vegan-aze.
No, I actually genuinely like mayonnaise on a hamburger.
I'm gonna be that guy.
Mayonnaise and ketchup.
Yeah, ketchup and mayonnaise.
He makes it together.
Special sauce.
It's a special sauce.
Yeah.
So he posted a picture of the receipt, that's what we're going off of, and, um, the top of the ticket does say POLICE in all caps.
Which, like, was suspicious for this police officer.
Yeah, it was kinda bizarre.
Um, what I thought this was, we'll learn later what it actually was, but what I thought this was, uh, was his fucking discount.
Yeah.
That's what I thought because like I deliver to a lot of fast food places and I eat at a lot of fast food places and places that are cool give me a discount and some of the time they just plug in a specific discount for police and firefighters which rules like I'm doing my part to steal valor at Del Taco.
I have a special police code where you put in police and it just negates all sales that were previously applied.
Everything is full price.
Yeah, right.
Uh, so what happened was, is they asked for his name.
Cause you know how like fast food places are doing that now?
Like they're asking for your name instead of like giving you a number, which I'm not entirely on board with.
We learned about this with uh, with the Starbucks episode.
Patrick told us, you know, they're creating the third place, man.
Burger King should be your other third place.
What was the quote from the article that you sent us?
Yeah, okay, so apparently when McCormick was asked his name, why is it Mac O'Durham on Facebook, but McCormick in the article?
Because his name is McCormick, but his profile name is Mac O'Durham, like Mac as in McCormick.
Like, it's just like his nickname on his...
You're telling me that McCormick is this person's first fucking name?
No, it's his last name.
No, it's his last name.
But he goes by Mac.
Then what is Theo Durham?
I don't know, just really leaning into your, you know... Well, we probably shouldn't make fun of him.
His ancestors are probably slavish.
Slave-adjacent.
Sorry, I say slavish, I meant to say Irish.
Uh, I just wanna call him McCormick or O'Durham.
That's cool for me.
Um, no, so this quote here... Apparently, when McCormick was asked his name, he simply said, officer.
The clerk asked McCormick to repeat his name, and again, he reiterated, police officer.
So already, like, doing everything you can, uh, to have your food fucked with, They should have just known to put Officer on.
Should have been Sir Mr. Officer.
First name first, last name responder.
Motherfucker.
That's all you need to know about me.
So what happened was...
There was a full fucking investigation into this alleged poisoning of this man's cheeseburger, sourdough burger.
They pulled surveillance footage from the kitchen.
Resources were used for this, people.
That showed Burger King employees putting, you know, his burger, his cheese, his mayo, and then adding a secret ingredient.
Salt and pepper.
Wow.
So what it really meant was, it's for a cop.
Make it real good.
Amazing.
Dude experienced spice for the first time in his life and thought he was being poisoned.
It would be really, it would be really bizarre.
You know, this, this guy that the picture of him is, he looks like, um, a mixture of, um, the, imagine like, uh, what, who's our, who's our favorite guy?
Um, imagine one of those thumbs from Spy Kids, but like in a cop uniform.
And like, you know, a white guy.
But the thumbs were already white.
Yeah, you guys noticed that there was no diversity in the thumbs.
I mean, it was directed by Robert Rodriguez.
What more do you want?
It's cool.
So yeah, the thumb from Spy Kids, but in a cop uniform.
So yeah, of course he was like surprised by Spice.
You know, just make it hot so I can eat it.
Put bacon on it for seasoning.
Yeah, there's a parody of, I don't know, some cop TV show with thumbs called Thumb Blue Line.
For sure.
Again, there is now.
He looks like, I don't know, he looks like the Thing from Fantastic Four before he became the Thing.
AKA the guy from The Shield.
Also a cop.
Also, fuck the Thing.
I think we should be sending more cops into space to see if they get special powers.
Personally.
How else are they going to fight against these super super predators?
Can you imagine going to a fucking Burger King as a normal person and demanding to see surveillance footage of their kitchen to prove to you that you weren't poisoned with dirt?
Does this guy not like enjoy a nice peanut butter and jelly or tuna sandwich at the beach?
The best part's the sand.
Somebody in the comment section was like, uh...
You know, we first responders, we're working all day, and we only have a limited amount of time to get food throughout the day.
And when people do this, it's horrible.
And I responded like, well, with the added dirt, that's just more food for you.
You're welcome.
You're getting your minerals now.
They didn't charge you for the dirt.
It's pro bono.
They really should be getting upset at, you know, like, their representation, their unions.
They should be getting proper breaks where they can get food.
Or they should get themselves a good wife that packs them a lunch.
Let's not do anything to strengthen the police unions further.
Yeah.
Yeah, my bad.
Okay, so... But maybe if they were happy, they would, like, murder people less.
Maybe if they got good breaks, they would, like, kill less people.
Uh, what if killing people is what makes them happy?
What if killing people is the only way they sleep?
Robert Moore says in this post, once again, this is before it was debunked and deleted.
Robert Moore says, put the ol' flat four tires order in.
What?
I don't know what that means.
What does that mean?
It means you go up the next day and you order like, hey miss, miss burger, miss burger queen, uh, can I get the keying your car?
Uh, I don't like it.
I don't like it.
Uh, excuse me, sir.
Yes, you, the underpaid, uh, 30 year old right there.
Um, Can I get arresting you on falsified charges?
Add a side of, uh, add a side of rough ride, please?
And if you can just, you know, add a couple of packets of that helplessness after you get out of jail sauce on the side, that'd be great.
Too spicy for me.
No, thank you.
Uh, I don't know.
Ice pick time.
You put dirt on my sandwich.
You'll have mayo on your face called knuckle sandwich.
Do you remember when pimps were really cool in the late 90s, early 2000s?
Yeah, absolutely.
Whatever happened to pimps?
I don't know, I guess they're not cool anymore.
What happened to real pimps?
They were cool until fucking James Franco ruined them.
Where have all the pimps gone?
Where all the pimps go.
So they used to put baby powder on their hands before they slap somebody.
But this guy likes to put a little mayonnaise on his knuckles before he feeds you a sandwich.
You'll have mayo on your face called knuckle sandwich.
You hear that guys?
Cops are the new pimps.
Myra L. Bob, I got a string of good comments here.
Three in a row.
Myra L. Bob says, Boycott Burgers King, dang.
Donna Simpson said, Discussing.
Dana Tenier Duenas says, Boycott this chain!
Yep, yep.
I'm gonna continue to boycott Burger King.
Which I just, I love like that call to arms.
Like, instead of boo this man.
Boycott this chain!
McDonald's would never do this.
Alex Lindmeier says, this is horrible.
I'm sorry to say I am an hourly manager at a BK in Nebraska.
I am sorry for this.
I'm sorry that you're a manager and you're not on salary, Alex.
By the looks of this guy's profile picture, between that v-neck and those athletic glasses and that ball cap, the only reason why he's not a cop is because he has a series of DUIs.
He wants to be a cop so bad and lets people know that he wants to be, he just can't.
Which is ironic because fast food managers are providing a much better service to the public than any police officer.
Facts.
A police officer has never given me fries.
I'll believe you're sorry, Alex, when you throw yourself onto the grill and charbroil yourself in protest.
That's when I'll believe that you've made up for this atrocity.
Present me with your neck, Alex.
Yeah, please show me.
J.D.
Cotham says, I think?
I think that little maggot got what he deserved?
Hey man, what are you in here for?
tampering with a consumer product we had the same thing happen el paso where a maggot spit in a cop's drink that little prick was tried convicted and locked up for a good while i think i think that little maggot got what he deserved hey man what are you in here for oh you don't want to know no man like what did you do How did you get locked up for so long?
Felony tampering with a consumer product.
What other kind of, like, as opposed to, like, a wholesale product?
Yeah, a free, okay.
Is there a special set of regulations and laws that govern the tampering with wholesale products?
Free products.
I also love, yeah, product.
Tampering with a consumer product.
If you were to tamper with someone's ducting, I'm sure that would be some sort of felony.
This fast food employee sounds pretty anti-duct to me.
Because like, I guess cops are like the tape that holds society together or something?
Okay, alright.
Duct tape, okay.
Sonja Jaubert says, dirt as in ground?
Wait, what?
Yeah, not dirt as in like compromising information about this police officer?
Not dirt as in a little bit of sweet baby Jesus old dirty bastard on there?
Not as in McGirt?
I went to a Burger King, and I was almost done eating my burger, and then I noticed that my web history, my browser history, had been inserted between these two patties.
Dirt as in ground.
Dirt as in ground?
I admit it is a bad practical joke.
But ground won't do you any harm.
I think there's a rhyme about that somewhere.
Lots of little kids make mud pies and eat it.
And if the soil is without worms, they get extra minerals from the yucky mud pies.
I love how wholesome this comment is.
I would rather my kid eat a worm than like a mud pie.
Yeah, same.
Yeah.
I fucking love this, like... No, it's like being a kid.
Just eat some fucking dirt.
Now I wouldn't go tell everyone to start eating dirt, just cops.
As in ground that veggies grow in.
Don't know about your Burger King there in USA, but here in South Africa we have clean Burger Kings and the food is great.
But the service is great, and I won't stop buying there cause it is actually food.
Not like McDonald's who serve modified paper.
Yep.
If it were blood or poop, I would make a case and definitely the Burger King would close and I would have at least the meal I asked for in the first place.
I love the huge middle ground between dirt and blood and poop.
The difference between dirt and blood and poop is a hazmat suit.
Yeah, anything lesser than biological waste, I'm just gonna ask for like 10% off my next purchase.
She'd also rather eat a mud pie than paper.
Yeah!
I love that she's, like, giving Burger King South Africa the benefit of the doubt.
I actually have heard something about this.
So basically, I mean, I don't know, when's the last time you went to Burger King, Alex?
Uh, I don't know, a couple months ago?
A couple months ago.
Even that took a pretty big, like, gap, you know?
Like, Burger King's not hopping like it used to.
It's been years since I've eaten at Burger King.
Like, I can't even remember the last time I ate at Burger King.
If they were to come out with a vegan equivalent to the spicy chicken sandwich, I would be there every day.
But, you know, I'm a punk-ass, bitch-ass, mark-ass vegan, so I don't go to those places.
So they're not doing very well, but it turns out their international ones are exceptional.
Because these other countries have different laws for the quality of their food, and the food's much better there because they have to use better food.
And so these international Burger Kings are what's holding up the domestic market.
That, and the fact that Tim Hortons owns them.
So yeah, other Burger Kings around the world are much better.
Hey, I've got an idea.
If you want fast food employees to stop fucking with your food, A, probably stop killing unarmed people, but B, pay them a living wage.
They might be less mad at you.
Yeah.
Why would I pay more?
They're just going to be able to afford more dirt to put in my food?
They're going to start buying, like, real nice dirt?
I love this.
If it were blood or poop, I would make a case and definitely the Burger King would close and I would have at least the meal I asked for in the first place.
You get to the last bite of your hamburger and you realize that the burger was in fact a patty of human shit and the ketchup was blood.
So you complain so that you can get an actual burger.
Yeah, your complaint's not that it's blood and poop.
They're like, wait, this isn't a sourdough king at all.
At least give me what I paid for.
Carla Wallace Green says, Thank goodness we don't have a Burger King in our town.
Should I reply to like, what like sad shit town are you living?
I'm so sorry.
Like that you're just... I mean I guess it's a good thing.
Maybe you live in one of those good communities that doesn't have any fast food.
I don't know if I've ever heard of a community that doesn't have any fast food.
Loma Linda, California was one of them until recently.
Loma Linda has bakers, don't they?
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
We're talking about fast food.
Bakers is beyond fast food.
Thank you.
Great food close to home.
Fast food does not come from a twin kitchen.
Yeah, it's not fast food, it's great food.
Yeah.
No, but it was a big deal when they got their McDonald's.
They really fought against it for a long time.
But I don't think that's the situation.
Luckily it's still closed every Saturday.
True, true, true, true.
And I can get a veggie burger there apparently.
I love, thank goodness we don't have a Burger King in our town as if this is like an actual menu item, the Dirt Burger that you have to order.
You have to go to Burger, if there's a Burger King in your town, you have to go to it and you have to order the Dirt Burger.
You might not have to order it, but they're going to ask every single time, would you like to try a Dirt Burger today?
No, man.
I fucking saw the menu.
I know what I want.
Has it ever worked?
I think it might've worked on me once from like 25 years of going to fast food.
It worked like, the only time it works is when I'm like real high and they're like, would you like to try a strawberry lemonade today?
And I'm like, yeah, like absolutely.
Strawberry lemonade.
Yeah, they asked me that, and I was like, yeah, sure, I'll try it.
And then they handed it to me, and I took a sip, and I was like, nah, I don't like it.
No, it's not good.
Thanks anyway.
Steve R. DeSauer gets to kind of the heart of the point.
So sorry, six dots, that you had to deal with that, five dots.
No first responder, nor military, parentheses, or anyone, should deal with this type of service.
This is a real lack of service.
Once again, that's the sticking factor here.
The fact that you don't get to thank somebody for their service.
Wondering which race it was?
Bet I know!
What do you think it is though?
Because there's a plethora of racist directions to go on this one.
Pretty much any race but white.
You can go for any of them and that's probably what you're thinking.
Yeah, no, I mean, it's just the Black Lives Matter connection, I guess.
And then this has one heart reaction to it.
Love it.
I loved it.
Just warms my heart to hear somebody finally bring black people into this conversation.
So one of the, uh, speaking of bringing black people in conversation, um, I'm going to go ahead and, uh, take, take this one.
Uh, no, but one of the common takes on this is talking about how, look at this white man, so affected by spice, like this white guy can't take spice.
And once again, this is one of those things that's comes from an actual historical place.
Yes.
Black people, we love spice.
Our food is very flavorful.
Soul food.
Just full of flavor.
Layers and layers of flavor.
Getting lost in the sauce.
And the reason is because we were given scraps.
And things like chitlins.
And the shitty grubs.
And we had to season them to make them taste good.
You know, when you have a nice cut of meat and fresh bacon, it's gonna taste good without seasoning.
So, that's where that whole joke comes from, in case you guys didn't know that.
It's just really funny to me that seriousness of that joke gets lost.
We're not saying that white people don't like spice, we're just saying historically, y'all didn't need it.
That's crazy.
Yeah.
That's wild.
Another joke that I saw a lot was like, fucking white people colonized whole countries for spices and now they can't handle salt and pepper.
I love that.
Also don't worry like our love of our love of Lowry's has led to a history of high blood pressure and heart disease and diabetes so that one you know once again worked out in your favor.
Yeah, and people were also pointing out that McCormick, this dude's name, literally a spice manufacturer.
Literally spice.
And also people kept on calling salt and pepper spice, which is hilarious because that's not spice.
I think that goes on pretty much everything that's not dessert.
A little bit of salt and a little bit of pepper goes on pretty much everything, right?
Right.
Okay, so you got some comments from a different post about this event, Lee.
You want to go ahead and read them?
Sure, I got these from the Blue Lives Matter Facebook page.
Which, like you said, I said of course the Blue Lives Matter post is still up after this story had been debunked, and then you corrected me.
Yeah, there was one comment that had an update and it had two likes, so it was buried down at the bottom.
That's the Facebook equivalent of putting a correction that no, Paula Cole didn't actually say God is dead in our Rolling Stone interview.
So yeah, that's on page 45 in the bottom right-hand corner.
Okay, so Mary Casio said, Screw Burger King.
Starbucks had bias training because of two arrogant people of color who wouldn't leave after not buying anything.
The arrogance of these people wanting to sit down.
Maybe all business establishments need blue appreciation training.
Yes.
Otherwise, I'd advise removing 9-1-1 from your speed dial.
This fucking guy has 9-1-1 on their speed dial.
No, sorry Mary, this person has 9-1-1 on their speed dial.
What a fucking loser.
Because, yeah, pushing two extra buttons is so much harder.
They probably just have a Fisher-Price phone with a picture of a blue cap on it that they hit.
I fucking love this.
Blue Appreciation Training.
Yep.
What would that, what would that seminar be like?
Um, it'd probably like, it's mostly about learning to ignore your gag reflex.
Okay, now, what you're gonna, what you're gonna want to do in order to respect these police officers is, uh, keep your hands above your shoulders the whole time you're helping them.
Yep.
Speak in full clear sentences.
Address them as sir.
I don't know, have you guys worked with somebody?
I mean, I know I have.
You guys all know who I'm talking about, thinking about right now.
My man Steve-O.
When a fucking cop comes in, it is, it is shoeshine time.
Yeah, that's definitely what Mary means.
Yeah, it is my favorite thing.
I mean, I fucking hate it.
It drives me crazy.
But I love to not help.
I almost want to help the cops because they're going to get worse service from me than they're going to get this worship from him.
He'll stand up, shake their hand, thank them for the service.
And they're always like, do you guys do... First responder discounts?
No, he said like...
What was it?
It was like armed something.
Armed services?
Like armed services, and they're like, oh, what branch are you in?
And he was like, Ohio Patrol.
And I'm like, oh, all right.
That's what comes to mind when you talk about your job is your fucking gun, you weirdo.
Our seal is a spike strip on it.
Why is the gun the first thing that pops in your head?
It should be like a fucking radar gun.
Speed traps and incrimination.
But see it's ironic because if you treat the officer too nice and you like recognize the fact that he's a police officer he's gonna get suspicious and think you're putting dirt in his like helmet or whatever you're selling him.
I do every time I sell them a bike what I do is I I take the seat post off and I urinate in the frame and I just fill it up and they're like why is my bike so heavy and I'm all don't worry about it.
I peed in that pig's bike!
Alright, you want to move on to the next comment?
Sure, this is Adam L. West.
That middle initial, very important.
Not the Adam West.
I'm surprised that law enforcement officers haven't learned from others that they have been disrespected by this pathetic, hopefully soon-to-be-bankrupt outfit.
Sheriff's deputies in my area eat exclusively at Chick-fil-A.
Christian owned and operated and they know they're not going to get this kind of pathetic treatment.
I love the use of pathetic twice in this comment to like still put him in alpha mode even though he's whining and bitching about fast food.
Actually, you read this wrong. - Yeah.
The officer's birthday is actually August 12th.
He is, in fact, a strong Leo on the Scorpio cusp.
And yeah, all Leos, they would never go there because we all know that they're on the Capricorn rising.
I love hopefully soon to be bankrupt outfit.
Like just one employee supposedly put dirt in a burger of one police officer.
Therefore, like they're done.
Yep.
The whole operation heads need to roll in corporate.
Yep.
Cause like, cause like another customer parked in a handicapped space in the parking lot.
I think that if we were to do more, uh, Like no exceptions, more – what's the word I'm looking for?
No exceptions.
Oh, like zero tolerance?
Yeah, if we had more zero tolerance policies just in day-to-day life, society would be a better place.
People would raise their kids right if we had a zero tolerance policy, I think.
I was at the theaters the other day, and the person next to me brought in their own candy and what seemed to be a bottle of water that I did not see sold in the concession stands.
And I got him kicked the fuck out and I got to spread my arms a little bit.
Had a little more room in the theater.
Well, see, you earned that manspreading.
If you mansplain to the usher that somebody had candy, then you'd get to manspread in there.
Okay, final comment.
One of my favorites.
Uh, yeah, so, like, the CSI theme plays in the background as I read this.
John Drew says, Police need to randomly go inside to order food.
When given the bag of food and before touching the... put on plastic gloves and place the food and bag inside an evidence collection bag, inform the manager and staff the food will be examined for foreign substances.
Like spice, for instance.
Big flavor.
If any found, staff will be arrested on felony assault and restaurant shut down.
Start random testing and the behavior will stop.
Stop and frisk for fast food.
What is this bulge underneath the bun?
Just patting down his hamburger?
Oh, did you actually stack two pickles?
That's too high.
You know they're gonna think it's something else.
Meanwhile, like, white fast food employees are just spiking burgers left and right.
Not getting checked.
I love this comment so much.
I love this comment so much.
Put on plastic gloves and place the food and bag inside an evidence collection bag.
Like, what are you going to do?
You gonna fucking dust this burger for Prince?
Just put more shit on the burger that you wanted to eat?
They're gonna analyze the whole thing.
You order two, you test one, you play the numbers.
It comes back in four weeks, tested positive for mold.
Well, if you get it from Most Fast Food, it actually won't even have that.
That's right.
I just love the whole, as if, when you walk into the Burger King in your hazmat outfit and your bomb dogs, like, the receipt's gonna say, inspection.
And it's gonna be the best, most perfect burger.
I got two things to say.
Start random testing and the behavior will stop.
Like, yeah, that's what America wants so much is more random testing of employees.
That's definitely what we need.
Like, we love random drug testing.
Why not do random burger testing as well?
Well, I mean, they should also have to present, like, their IDs and some sort of documentation saying they're allowed to be in the country.
Because if you are an illegal immigrant, just you handling the food is illegal.
Thus, the food is compromised.
Yeah, their dogs probably jumped all over the food.
You might give it, like, Mexico disease.
And then also, uh, what's the other thing?
Oh, yeah, your food will be examined.
Oh, no, no, no.
Right here.
Staff will be arrested on felony assault.
The assault here is literally assaulting the cop's senses.
It's literally what it is.
This is an assault on my senses!
It's literally salt and pepper.
I didn't like it.
I put it in my mouth and my mouth got wet.
It got... I began to salivate and some drool... I didn't like it.
I wasn't ready.
Like at work, what they do is to try and like catch employees, catch drivers not delivering misloaded packages.
Like if I have a package for a truck that's not mine, I have to report it so that they can tell me to deliver it.
And like, if I don't report it, you know, I'll get fired basically.
And when managers put a misloaded package in your car intentionally, it's literally called salting your truck.
Wow.
So they're literally worried about people salting burgers.
See, you got lucky.
What I would do if I was in management, I wouldn't have you report it.
I would just give you a package with the location and a time.
And if you don't deliver that package to that location where it can safely detonate, then that's on you.
I don't like that.
I don't like that idea.
Just do your job and you'd like that idea.
I like the idea of this cop going outside in the morning and it's been snowing and there's ice on the sidewalk and he looks down and he notices a foreign substance sprinkled all over the ice on the sidewalk and then calls up road services to complain that people are poisoning his sidewalk by putting salt on it.
You're sure this isn't some sort of like uh cyanide or uh you sure they're not trying to poison me?
What was that envelope, envelope poison?
You sure this isn't anthrax on here?
Uh, yeah.
Amazing, amazing shit.
All totally fake.
All existing totally in the mind of this paranoid police officer who could probably just, like, stop assaulting citizens.
For real.
Yeah.
You know?
And not have to worry as much?
And a lot of the comments were just fucking dunking on this cop too.
Yeah, it rolled.
Before we even knew it was all fake.
Yeah, so shout out to, so this is the Right's fabled memeing ability on Facebook.
It's a great group.
Suggest joining it.
And thank you to Leigh for doing the show.
Well, thanks for having me.
I always love coming on the show.
We always love having you.
Yeah, yeah.
MVP.
If you want to get a bonus episode every week, subscribe to MinionDeathCult at patreon.com slash MinionDeathCult.
That's p-a-t-r-e-o-n dot com slash MinionDeathCult.
$3.11 a month gets you four bonus episodes.
A bonus episode every week.
and uh we got those shirts baby we're about ready to make those shirts we got a amazingly horrific design to put on these shirts and uh we'll be pressing them pretty soon probably this week so be on the lookout for that we're gonna give At least a couple away in sort of like random drawings of Patreon subscribers and on social media.
So be on the lookout for that.
Follow the social media at MinionDeathCult on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter.
Write to us, MinionDeathCult at gmail.com and leave a rating and review for the show on iTunes if you so please.
That would really help us look good, helps other people find the show.
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