Minion Death Cult - 44 - Confederate Foods of America (preview)
Aired: 2018-05-25
Duration: 02:58


=== Sticky Caps and Monkeys (02:58) ===

[00:00:00]  I like this next comment, A, because the username is in sticky caps.
[00:00:08]  It's, it's, monkeys ate my face.
[00:00:10]  This is so crazy.
[00:00:11]  In sticky caps, which is like, oh, this is going to be a real cute, like, rar, I'm a ninja monkey comment, right?
[00:00:18]  I eat cheese.
[00:00:19]  We got, we got sticky caps and monkeys.
[00:00:22]  However, you can tell that this person isn't actually so random.
[00:00:27]  Because the username starts with a capital, starts with a capital M, and that's like not the right, that's not the correct random way to do sticky caps.
[00:00:36]  Like the correct random way, as we all know, is to start with a lowercase.
[00:00:39]  You randomly start with a lowercase, yeah.
[00:00:41]  Right, and then you systematically randomly start with a lowercase, and then you alternate from there.
[00:00:46]  Because this one, like, you're looking at it, and it's just M capitalized.
[00:00:50]  Okay, that's normal for a username.
[00:00:52]  It's normal for a proper name, the first letter's capitalized.
[00:00:54]  As you read it, right?
[00:00:57]  The second letter is lowercase.
[00:00:59]  So you're like, there's nothing random here.
[00:01:01]  It's totally normal.
[00:01:02]  And then you get to the third letter and you're like, okay, something's going on.
[00:01:05]  Wait, am I supposed to build an acronym right now?
[00:01:08]  Yeah.
[00:01:09]  Code building.
[00:01:10]  So the comment goes, homosexuality is natural.
[00:01:16]  Okay.
[00:01:17]  Yeah.
[00:01:18]  It's nature's way of saying your genes are not worthy of being passed down.
[00:01:22]  Whoa.
[00:01:23]  But also, I mean, a lot of, a lot of, you know, my friends who are queer, or queer identify, were like, cool, that's fine, yeah, I don't want to pass my genes down, like, that's cool.
[00:01:34]  Yeah.
[00:01:34]  Whatever.
[00:01:34]  Like they don't give a shit anyway.
[00:01:36]  I'm not trying to have a kid.
[00:01:37]  Yeah.
[00:01:37]  I think, and I think like the idea here is that he thinks like homosexuality is like, uh, uh, what do you call it?
[00:01:44]  A inheritable trait?
[00:01:45]  Yeah.
[00:01:45]  Yeah.
[00:01:46]  Like, you know how when you're gay, it's because you came from a long line of gay men.
[00:01:50]  Long line of, yeah.
[00:01:52]  Uh.
[00:01:52]  True, true that.
[00:01:53]  For real though.
[00:01:54]  Well, it's like blue eyes.
[00:01:58]  You know?
[00:01:59]  They're recessive, but it's there.
[00:02:01]  Right, but they're slowly going away.
[00:02:04]  Just like homosexuality.
[00:02:09]  Well, their parents just made the right choice.
[00:02:12]  Astro Aquanaut.
[00:02:14]  Nice.
[00:02:15]  Which would be cool if it weren't so hard to read because it's all one word.
[00:02:18]  That's weird.
[00:02:20]  Says, you wouldn't stick your wee-wee into someone's colostomy bag, so what the hell are you people doing?
[00:02:27]  Real quick.
[00:02:30]  As a fan of the show Aquanauts, I am fucking heated.
[00:02:34]  This is so crazy.
[00:02:38]  What?
[00:02:38]  You never had anal sex before, dude?
[00:02:40]  It's so silly.
[00:02:41]  It is just... You're not sticking your dink in a plastic bag.
[00:02:44]  You wouldn't stick your dink into a big vat of pee, would you?
[00:02:48]  Or poop, dude.
[00:02:51]  This is crazy.
[00:02:53]  Yeah, that's insane.
[00:02:54]  That's why you buy new catheters.
[00:02:55]  You don't reuse the same catheter, because it's already touched a dick.