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March 23, 2018 - Health Ranger - Mike Adams
14:05
Mountain Dew can dissolve a mouse, says PepsiCo lawyers
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Okay, welcome everybody.
This is Mike Adams, the Health Ranger with naturalnews.com, joined by Jonathan Lansman in the studio.
Today we bring you the story of the Mountain Dew Mouse.
Yes, a Mountain Dew legal team is now trying to throw out a lawsuit.
A man says he found a mouse in a bottle or a can of Mountain Dew.
And the PepsiCo lawyers say that's impossible.
That mouse would have been dissolved into a jelly-like substance.
So, what do you think, Jonathan?
Does this mean we should be drinking more Mountain Dew?
Yeah, I mean, I think we should because, I mean, the bottom line is for no extra cost, you could get extra protein in your Mountain Dew.
With the animal products here, it's great.
I mean, providing the mouse was let out to, you know, just eat on the dirt and the bugs and everything was all natural.
I could actually, if I was a consultant for Mountain Dew, I would actually advise them just to charge more for the Mountain Dew now that it's enhanced.
They can have Mountain Dew with extra mouse.
Absolutely.
And all the nutrients, though.
I mean, the label could just get longer and longer with more stuff.
It'd be great.
Yeah, like free-range mice in every can.
That's right.
It'd be a premium cost.
Okay, here's from Fox News, the reporting.
Let's see.
The company that makes Mountain Dew, of course, that's PepsiCo, has asked a judge in Wisconsin to throw out a lawsuit against the company.
The plaintiffs claim that he found a dead mouse in a container of Mountain Dew and is asking for $50,000 in damages.
That doesn't even cover your dental bills from having Mountain Dew mouthed.
Yeah, I don't know why they're picking on these soda companies.
They're always looking just to give us very tasty treats and help us enjoy our lives and have a lot more fun.
I don't know why they always pick on these guys.
Let me bring up, by the way, I'm going to go to Google and I'm going to show you Mountain Dew mouth images.
Oh, here we go!
They look beautiful.
If you drink Mountain Dew...
How wonderful!
Look at how happy she is.
Oh, that's incredible.
And this man has a tattoo as a testament to his brilliance.
He's a lover of Mountain Dew.
Alright, back to the mouse and the lawsuit.
PepsiCo's lawyers say that the plaintiffs claim simply can't be true, couldn't be a mouse in there, because they had expert testimony saying that the acid and the other chemicals inside Mountain Dew, this is their own words, would turn the mouse into a jelly-like substance.
That's great.
Oh, yeah.
Now, of course, that chemical is phosphoric acid.
Right, and so that would probably be good for our insides, even if there was no mouse.
It would be something that we really want to drink, I'm sure.
That would be great.
Well, let's talk about phosphoric acid here for a second because, of course, this is the acid used by the United States Navy to clean rust off the battleships.
We talked about that before.
It's used by stonemasons to etch designs and patterns into stones.
It does dissolve nails, and according to Pepsi, it dissolves mice as well, which means bones.
So if it dissolves a mouse's bones, what does it do to your bones?
I don't know.
I don't think it affects us, because once it gets into the human physiology, we must do something magical that just protects us from it.
That's true, but mice or mammals, why wouldn't the mouse be able to be immune to the Mountain Dew effect?
Well, clearly, Mike, you can see the size of this mouse.
Let me get the bigger one on here.
Yeah, yeah, get the bigger one.
There it is.
It doesn't matter how big you make it on computer technology, that mouse is not as strong as us.
It doesn't matter.
He's bigger now.
Well, that's true.
He's getting a little bigger than me.
But I think our immune system could still handle our cloric acid, don't you?
Do we have a can of Mountain Dew?
Does anybody...
No!
No, no, no.
Don't bring it out.
Sebastian, get a freaking can of Mountain Dew.
Get it in here.
We're going to show a can.
We're going to have to go buy Mountain Dew just to talk about it.
That's fine.
Maybe we could put it in like a swimming pool and swim in it every single day and see what happens to our skin.
You might turn into a jelly-like goo substance.
Or just glow in the dark at night, which would mean that our family members wouldn't lose us at night when it's really dark out.
Alright, so that's the story of the Mountain Dew mouse.
We'll try to bring you more about that in the future.
I hope so.
But we're not going to do anything gross like actually catch a mouse and Put it in a can of Mountain Dew and see what happens.
That wouldn't be ethical, Mike.
That would be bad.
That would be cruel experiments with animals.
Yeah, we just leave that for Mountain Dew to take care of their lawsuits.
Alright, let's move on to the next story.
A woman has now filed a class-action lawsuit against Frito-Lay claiming that their so-called natural products, that are marketed as natural, are actually made with genetically modified ingredients, which are not natural.
In fact, the Frito-Lay...
Well, hey, this is PepsiCo again!
Mountain Dew is owned by PepsiCo and Frito-Lay is owned by PepsiCo.
Why do they keep picking on these guys?
I don't understand.
If you ask the scientists at the Pepsi Corporation, you ask them about GMOs, they'll tell you it's fine.
I don't understand.
What's the big deal?
Well, they say they're natural.
It's naturally, artificially, genetically modified.
Exactly.
Yeah.
Phosphoric acid belongs in the body.
It's one of the elements there.
It's just natural.
We can just suck it down all we want.
And don't forget about aspartame, too.
I'm sure the mouse really enjoyed the aspartame.
Maybe it had headaches before it dissolved into goo.
Yeah, but that wouldn't matter because as the mouse is eating that stuff with the aspartame, it tasted so sweet they were probably very happy before the mouse just keeled over.
Oh, I'm sure.
Died and dissolved.
We should put some of the genetically modified Frito-Lay snack chips inside the bottle of Mountain Dew so the mouse can enjoy his short-lived existence.
Right.
Entertainment is what it's all about.
Sun chips and Tostitos are named.
Wait a minute.
We have a bag of Sun chips in the kitchen because that's going to go on camera.
Yeah, but I can't.
I'm allergic to that.
I mean, the GMOs are fine and all that.
It's just the flour and the chips I'm allergic to, so let's not bring those out right now.
We should get the bag of Sun chips.
No, it's okay.
It's okay.
But anyway, we do have a lot of interesting products here that we're going to put on camera.
And I'm always paranoid when I'm out shopping, Jonathan, for this stuff.
Because I make a separate shopping trip just to buy the toxic stuff that I'm going to put on camera in this studio.
Yeah.
So I have a grocery cart that looks like everybody else's grocery cart.
When I'm doing that.
Yeah.
I'm like, I'm afraid someone's going to recognize me and say, ah, the Health Ranger, and snap a photo and put it on Facebook.
Well, now you're putting out your disclaimer now.
This is just investigative reporting.
It's investigative reporting.
That's it.
I promise.
Okay.
All right.
Well, any more comments on the action?
What is this?
Is this GMO? Hey, that's my...
Look.
Free of mouse goo, okay?
There is no mouse goo in here.
Yeah, I don't see any animals in there at all.
No, everybody knows.
Even when I'm hosting Alex Jones, I have this on the desk.
Everybody knows.
This is my chocolate avocado breakfast smoothie.
And I sort of try to hide it behind the laptop here.
Excellent.
Look at that.
Great job.
Okay.
Alright, next story is moving on to Facebook.
Facebook has been cited as a problem in one-third of UK divorces.
Why would that be?
I don't know.
I think they should be giving Facebook a lot more credit because what that's doing is it's helping us to find out what people are all about.
They're expressing themselves.
What's the big deal with this?
Nasty comments?
People do that all the time.
What's the big deal?
Nasty comments, inappropriate messages, and...
You mean, like, in other words, if you're married and you're sending messages to your girlfriends, like, there was a congressman that was busy doing that, but that was on another thing.
It wasn't Facebook.
You know, the funny thing about this, though, is that half the guys who think they're cheating on their wives having Facebook sex with another girl out there, it's actually an undercover male police officer.
That's right.
That sounds like a lot of fun.
Yeah, so they're getting divorced over an affair with a male cop.
That's even more the reason to get divorced.
Yeah, right.
Right.
Wait a minute.
Can you imagine, what if their defense in court is, no, it wasn't a 16-year-old girl, it was actually an undercover male officer.
And he was of age, so what's the big deal?
He was over 18.
Problem solved.
Get back together.
No need to get divorced now.
Facebook, no problem.
Facebook sex is destroying marriages?
I don't know.
It's hard to believe.
Can you have sex on Facebook?
I don't know.
I've never tried.
Can you share it with friends?
Is that how that works?
Can you like it?
I don't know.
And I can imagine the geek squad over at that department store, if they've got to go fix those computers from all this Facebook sex, it's got to be very hard to fix something like that.
Don't even talk to the Geek Squad about online sex.
They have plenty.
Okay, moving on before this gets too ugly.
A man claims that he was able to cross into the United States from Canada by showing a picture of his passport on his iPad.
So now I guess you don't even need a passport.
All you need is a photoshopped image saying whatever you want it to say on your iPad.
I don't know.
I don't see that as such a big deal.
What's the problem?
The guy's picture on the iPad looks just like he does.
But his name can be changed.
He could change the passport number, the expiration date, everything.
So you have a problem with this because you see it as forgery is so easy to do.
You're really into the truth.
That could be something that people would say you're radical about.
I know, but look, my point is, right, they're putting their hands down our pants at the airport to try to protect us from terrorism, right?
Right.
Meanwhile, they're letting people walk into the country with...
Photoshop pictures of their IDs.
Oh, yes.
That could be, kind of looks like a terrorist.
Right.
Not really.
He looks like a nice guy, but he looks like a raw milk farmer, actually.
But that could be a terrorist according to the FDA. That's true.
But a dishonest guy could use the same technique to get in.
Without having a proper ID. Right.
We're letting this happen all the time, but we're definitely being a lot tougher on those 88-year-old grannies trying to visit their grandchildren in Florida.
That's right.
They get searched.
Yeah, you've got to stop them right away because I can see them as being a really huge threat to all of society.
With their colostomy bags and everything.
And in a wheelchair, too.
I mean, you know how fast those wheelchairs can go.
You've got to be very careful with those people.
Now I know why the TSA confiscates Mountain Dew from people.
You could use it to dissolve the pilot.
You could go through the metal, which is supposed to be protecting the pilot from all those dangerous people outside.
Just pour Mountain Dew on the hinges of that cockpit door.
But actually, come to think of it, they served that acid on the plane to all the passengers.
It could be a mass attack in the aisles.
Everybody at one time could peel open the top and pour it.
Giving you weapons of terrorism right on the airplane.
Yeah, they've got to stop.
Stop the soda on all planes.
If I was a consultant of the airlines, I would say, stop the GMOs in the bag, right?
Because God knows what will happen to people's brains.
They'll flip out and go crazy.
And stop the soda serving because of all that acid in there.
Alright, that would be called an acid trip if you drank Mountain Dew while flying.
Okay, moving on to all the glitters as gold.
Metal thefts are rising in the UK and around the world.
This is true.
The thieves are out there looking for copper.
You've seen these stories.
They're stealing copper from nursing homes and schools and hospitals.
All of a sudden the power goes out.
What's wrong?
They stole the generator or the air conditioner or the power supply cables.
Gone!
Yeah, but so what?
I mean, silver is worth more than that.
But you know what?
It's a very interesting thing.
Why don't they try ripping off all the dental offices with all those silver fillings that they're putting in people's mouths?
How come they're not attracted to the silver in the office?
Right, because it's not silver.
It's mercury.
Yeah, and those thieves are very smart.
Well, they're smart enough to target nursing homes and schools and hospitals.
They keep going after the older people left and right.
They're going after the precious metals.
They're going after the bags at the airport.
Some thieves, by the way, have been electrocuted trying to steal copper wiring.
So a note to the audience, if you're going to steal electrical wiring, turn off the circuit breaker first.
You might end up fried and stuffed into a bottle of Mountain Dew to dispose of the evidence.
That's the other thing.
In those movies, when they need to bring in the cleaner, and they have the lye, and they throw the guy in the bathtub and pour in the lye, they could just bring Mountain Dew!
Yeah, it would be a lot cheaper, too.
Just walk in with a 12-pack of Mountain Dew.
The body's gone.
You know, I think this report's going to really help people to rethink about how to work in society today.
This is really very valuable.
Yeah, I do feel like we're playing a valuable role in giving people very valuable information today.
But, you know, a little...
Look, it's good to have a little bit of humor from time to time.
Yeah.
Alright, any final comments?
Those are all the stories we've got for today.
I think that the most important point, the take-home message in today's video, is to be sure not to think that nutrition is important, detoxification is important.
None of these stories are important at all unless you're getting them directly from a source that you can trust.
Like an undercover cop posing as a 16-year-old on Facebook.
No, Mike, all fairness, do not listen to anything in this video.
We are not professionals, we are not experts, and we are not from the conventional mainstream media outlets.
Be sure that you tune in to all of those channels to get the latest news that's fit to print, fit to put out in TV, and you can trust that source to always deliver exactly the same message all the time.
That's right.
Thanks for watching.
Don't forget to stuff that newsstand magazine into a bottle of Mountain Dew to make it disappear.
This is Mike Adams and Jonathan Lansman from naturalnews.com.
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