All Episodes
June 3, 2025 - Lionel Nation
33:21
The Worst Smells You've Ever Experienced
| Copy link to current segment

Time Text
I'm going to try something right now that could be one of the greatest moments ever that you and I have engaged in, or it could be one of the worst.
It could be one of the worst pieces of garbage ever.
It's up to you.
I've done this before, and it was absolutely incredible.
It was like something you've never seen before.
Amazed with and of and regarding are sometimes things that are not necessarily, oh, things that you would necessarily consider to be top of mind.
And one of the things is smell.
This morning when I'm doing my WABC, I look and I'm in a studio and they have TVs everywhere.
TVs everywhere.
Absolutely incredible.
And I don't watch cable ever.
I've never watched...
I don't watch it.
I just don't care for it and blah, blah, blah.
Okay.
So I was looking and I said, look at all these channels.
I think it's on the Spectrum cable network.
Spectrum.
Spectrum used to be Time Warner, now it's cable.
No, it's Spectrum.
And on one TV, it's Another one is MSDNC.
Thank you, darling.
And then another one is this Spectrum One.
It used to be New York One.
Nobody watches this crap.
Nobody watches it.
So on the TV that is to my right in the studio, I took a little guide and I'm looking and they said, one is American History, American History Channel or something like that.
It was all about Hitler.
Hitler's henchmen, Hitler's this, Hitler that, Hitler, Hitler.
All Hitler all the time.
But during the course of this, it was the worst commercials you've ever seen I didn't even think existed.
And one of them was for a commercial of this stuff that I think they got rid of years ago.
It's this deodorant that you use in lieu of bathing.
It's not loomy.
It's another kind of...
And they were saying, you don't need to bathe.
Just use this.
Back crack and sack.
You know that one?
And I thought, I don't know why.
I just went off and I kept talking about that saying, this is the most bizarre thing I have ever seen.
What is the purpose?
What is the purpose of somebody actually having this, buying this?
Why would you want this?
Why would you not want to bathe?
Now, I can understand if somebody said, listen, if you're out hunting or you're in an emergency or maybe somebody's in a hospital, okay, fine.
But they were advertising this as though it's an alternative.
Why bathe?
And I thought to myself, this is the most horrible thing I've ever seen in my life.
Why in the name of God would anybody ever do this?
Why would anybody ever want to be a...
And then I was thinking.
I was thinking about smells and how we act and how we...
Things that we do, things that we...
Certain smells that the body is a part of.
It's really weird.
How do I say this?
This strange, I guess, fascination I had with smells.
Bodily smells.
Our smells.
The way we smelled.
And then I was thinking about smells that are good.
Smells that are washed away.
Smells that we love.
smells that are fabulous, smells that are so incredibly...
Do you know that a baby, a little baby, why a baby smells good?
Do you understand about this baby?
Baby has this natural scent from the vernix, which is kind of a waxy coating in their skin microbiome.
And it releases dopamine in humans.
It's a wonderful thing.
Freshly cut grass.
Maybe it's a primitive signal of open land and safety or nostalgia.
Certain foods, bacon, bread, coffee.
When you go into a bakery and you smell that, there's just, oh my God.
Don't ask me why I like tire stores rubber.
We live near a horse stable and they smell horse shit and leather and And all of that.
And I love this.
I don't know why.
It's not bad, but it's a different...
And I was thinking, why is it that these things are triggered?
Why are they triggered in my head?
And then I thought to myself, what is the worst thing that you have ever smelled?
And I thought, I'm going to do this.
I'm going to try this in my talk.
I've done this on talk radio and it is the most incredible thing anybody's ever seen before because everybody knows something that they have felt.
They know, yes, I can relate to the worst thing I've ever smelled.
I may not know about the Middle East, I may not know about this, but I know about the worst smell and I'm asking you right now.
I'm asking you.
You can help me make this because I can't do it on my own.
I can't do it without you.
I can't.
Do it without you.
I can't do it without you.
What is the worst thing?
Now, please.
What is the worst thing you've ever smelled?
Don't go for the obvious.
Don't go for the low rent.
Please.
Don't smell like shit.
Yes, yes, I understand.
That's not what I'm looking for.
That is not what I'm looking for.
That's not it.
A particular smell.
something industrial, something that...
I've been in morgues.
And that wasn't the worst thing I've ever smelled.
That wasn't the worst thing I've ever smelled.
Well, believe it or not, it wasn't because you've smelled that before.
You've smelled...
It's kind of like, you know, roadkill.
You've smelled it.
There's nothing really that...
It's not good.
But that's not the worst smell.
What is the worst you've ever smelled?
Not what bothers you.
What is the worst smell?
You've ever experienced.
Mine was very simple.
And it may not sound like much to you, but it was something I will never forget as long as I live.
I will never forget this one horrible, rancid, rancid moment that I shared with someone.
It was so terrible and so awful and so...
And I will tell you.
I will tell you.
After this.
Let me ask you a question.
What happens when the trucks stop?
Think about this.
Trucks.
You know, the trucks that bring your food.
And then when one store closes because of a riot or ransomware hit or a hurricane or even manufactured weather.
Oh, yeah.
We've talked about that.
What happens when all of a sudden, suddenly, the entire supply chain collapses like dominoes?
What happens then?
We've seen it happen, and it doesn't take much.
And that's the thing you've got to think about.
A trucker strike, a cyber attack, some EMP, some Carrington-class disaster, a city shut down by violence.
It only takes one spark for shelves to go empty, fast.
And when that happens, and when that moment hits, You either have what you need or you don't.
And that's why I am telling you, I want you to go to preparewithlionel.com.
Our trusted friends at MyPatriotSupply, they're offering unbelievable deals right now.
You've got to see deals on emergency food kits that could save your life and your sanity.
Over 2,000 calories per day.
For three months of food per person, shelf stable for 25 years, in any kind of combinations you want, and made to taste like actual meals, not cardboard, not some military MRE.
These kits aren't just insurance.
They're peace of mind.
So go to preparewithlionel.com, secure your kit, secure your future.
with Lionel.com.
Prepare with Lionel.com because when the world breaks down, to prepare, don't panic.
My friend that I, Bruce Anderson, were on a subway platform taking an uptown, I think it was a C- And we were waiting, and this fellow was walking by.
It was a homeless-looking person, but didn't look particularly bad.
White guy, older, middle-aged.
Nothing about him at all that in any way made me think, oh my God, or nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing.
And as he was walking towards me, I just happened to be looking down the platform.
And people were just...
And I thought, what are they doing?
What's going on?
And then he would walk by and somebody else would be standing on the platform and then waiting and he'd walk by.
And again, people would...
But it wasn't just waving.
It was a combination of like a nervous...
It was a combination of almost like this weird gesture Again, I didn't think, I wasn't really paying that much attention.
We were in conversation.
I didn't really notice.
And then it hit me.
And then it hit me.
And then it came hitting me.
And I'm trying to describe to you a smell that I still have never been able to describe.
It wasn't the usual smell of, dare I say, fetid feculence.
No, not that usual.
That, again, that's familiar, so to speak.
We know what that is.
This was sweet.
It was organic.
It was...
It smelled...
it got into your soul.
Again, it was, I think, and I think one of the reasons why it was so hard Horrible.
And I'm convinced it was because I couldn't...
You've smelled that.
That's familiar.
You've smelled other things that maybe...
This was different.
This was different.
It was almost like or putrescences, when something is rotting but not, maybe it was...
And it was the most incredible thing.
And I happened to have in my bag a...
I don't know what the word of it was.
But I happened to have a bottle of this cologne I had bought.
Tino Cosma at the time.
They don't make it anymore, but I liked it.
And I sprayed it just to maybe to jumpstart my reaction to it.
It was that horrible.
It was that bizarre.
It was that terrible.
That rancid.
I will never forget that.
Years later, Walking down the street, I don't know where I was.
I smelled it again.
Not him, not the same person.
But it was something I'll never forget.
It got into your soul.
Soul.
Absolutely positive.
Now I'm asking you.
And I recognize the fact that this is something that is very difficult for people to do.
Because it involves the ability to describe that most people do not have.
It's very difficult to do.
It's not the usual thing people are asked to do.
What was your case?
What?
Tell me.
Tell me, dear friend.
You're thinking the...
I've never smelled that.
They say it is horrible and terrible and rancid.
I would say it's probably not because at least people have recognized it as such.
What is that moment?
Come forward, dear friend.
And I know this is difficult.
I know this is a difficult thing.
I know.
Our friend here says, my rotting foot.
See this?
He's trying.
He's trying.
I don't.
He's saying, in essence, this is the best I can do.
Oh my God, Jade East, high karate, those are days.
And that will send us off into the era, the area of some other tangential subject, which has nothing to do with what we're talking about.
What is it, my friends?
What is it?
Smells are olfactory.
Time machines.
Absolutely.
Thank you for understanding that.
The reason why they are 100% is that nature has provided that you can never forget a smell.
You can never forget a smell.
You can never be put in a position where you are allowed to forget a smell.
Because if it's something which is rancid, which is something which is horrible, which is something which is...
You're in a position where you are unable to, how do I say this?
You can't be in the position of forgetting it because your life might depend on it.
Your life might depend on it.
For you remembering something.
So olfactory smell is 100%.
And it can't be something that is just merely bad or feculent.
It's got to be something which, how do I say this?
It has to be something which destroys, it goes to the very core of your soul.
And I know this is a difficult thing.
I know it is difficult.
And I understand that people, many folks, lack the ability to, first of all, explain it, much less write it.
And I know that what I'm asking is very, very unfair for me to put in that position where I'm To write a smell?
It takes an ability to write and to describe that most people, frankly, just don't have.
And I understand this.
And it's something that, it's not really anybody's fault.
How do you say, for example, how do you smell, describe what bacon smells like?
Have you never smelled bacon?
Try.
Try.
You can't do it.
It's something that people don't understand.
It's something that people do not have the ability to understand.
And I recognize this.
I understand these.
I understand.
It's a tough, tough, tough venture.
It's hard.
It's hard for people to understand.
And when I ask the question, and I say, listen, tell me what you think.
Tell me about this.
I can't.
It's a very, very horrible, terribly difficult thing to do.
And I recognize so many of you fine people.
It's difficult because, let's face it, for the most part, you're not in any position to ever describe or ask to describe anything.
I recognize this.
I know this is terrible.
Try describing.
Describe how to play an accordion without using your hands.
It's not fair to you.
I recognize this.
I can't.
I know this.
There was a smell one time I shan't forget.
And it wasn't bad.
It wasn't bad.
People have said that doctors in surgery who, if they nick a bowel, it's not what you think.
Or there are certain smells of a placenta or certain forms of blood, minerally blood.
I walked into a men's room one time.
And there was a fellow there who apparently had some type of an accident of some sort.
He had either a colostomy, ileostomy, something.
There was a stoma, and he was repairing something.
And at the time, I guess there had been, he was virtually, almost entirely new.
And he was very embarrassed, but he was almost new, and he was replacing this.
And I just, I didn't say anything.
I just did my business and left.
But there was a smell, which is not what you thought.
It's nothing you've ever seen.
Nothing.
It is nothing.
It was high up.
There had not been the chance for any kind of biome, biota, E. coli, whatever you want to call it.
It was like nothing you've ever smelled.
And again, I use the word minerally, mineral, metallic.
A smell I've never smelled before.
And it fascinated me.
And when I told people this, they said, why are you talking about this?
Because we don't deal with smells.
Especially when it comes to us.
We're always perfuming things up and bathing.
Except for this commercial.
We don't have to understand smells.
But think about this.
When it's going to rain.
When something happens, you know the smell.
If there's an electrical burnout, if there's something that...
It smelled like an electric motor.
There's certain things that smell.
During Vietnam, they said there were dogs and people that would be akin to the smell of fish and whatever their diet was.
It's something that we have just lost.
We don't describe smell.
We don't appreciate smell.
It means nothing to us.
It's very difficult.
Someone said, Baby says, Baby Gerald, coffee is great.
Why?
Is it great in and of itself?
Or is it great because it reminds you of something?
There's something about chocolate chip cookies.
Is that because it is in and of itself great?
Would anybody from any part of the world recognize that?
Or would they say, ah, that's baking?
Or is it in and of itself?
There's one thing.
I don't think a rose smells good.
Everybody's talking about flowers.
I don't think flowers really smell great.
I really don't.
I think they're kind of artificial.
They're intended to attract bugs.
And bees in order to pollinate.
That's why the smell is there.
So I don't know.
I've never really understood it.
The stuff that I think is good is a different smell.
Plastics smell good.
Plastics.
There are some things where when you smell them and they are rotten, And that is nature's way of saying to you, this is something broken down.
This is something you want to stay away from.
Don't eat this.
Don't consume this.
You see what I'm saying?
This is it.
This is the part which I find so interesting.
And you see, one of the problems with this, as I understand it, is that there are people who especially...
Baby Gerald says yes.
Do you know what the new car smell is?
The new car smell is actually toxic chemicals.
Toxic chemicals in the plastics.
It's not a good thing.
It's not good.
But you associate it with it.
There's a certain newness.
It has that plastic smell to it.
Sort of.
There is something.
When water smells, salt water has a smell.
There's something about that smell.
I still say grass.
I still say, I don't understand what, I don't know what the reason for that is.
The smell of it sounds crazy.
The smell of the wind.
I know you're thinking to yourself, do you understand what happens is we have, we have, look at this, warm, look at this.
What a beautiful warm pine needles on a hot summer day.
See, that is so beautiful.
Cigars and fresh cut firewood.
Interesting.
Cigars reminds me when I was a young man.
Reminds me of my grandparents.
Reminds me of my grandparents and how they growing up in Ybor City and smelling That the smell of the Cuban club, as I would go pick my grandfather, I was a little kid at the time, but to go in and get him because ladies weren't involved.
It was something which was so terrific.
The smell of cigars.
And Cuban coffee.
There was a place in Newport City called Naviera Coffee where the ground, they roast the beans.
Oh my God, it was just heaven.
Absolute heaven.
Do you understand this?
Women get it.
Women get it.
Edie says, I often wonder what it would be smelling like walking in the poorer parts of Victorian London.
Oh my God.
Especially with chamber pots.
Yes.
Bakeries.
There's something about that.
It's beautiful.
There's so...
Spring, rain, and rain.
The smell of dirt.
Dirt is wonderful.
Dirt that just, oh, it's beautiful.
Somebody explained to me one time the smell of taking or changing grease traps at, in restaurants.
He said it was the most horrible thing he's ever experienced.
And one of the things which makes smells horrible is when you have not smelled them before.
If it has a smell you are familiar with, you're already accustomed a little bit.
You've acclimated.
What makes a smell horrible in particular is how it has become a shock.
How it scares you.
Because of its novelty, if that makes any sense.
Creosote in telephone poles.
Yes!
Yes, that's beautiful.
Yes, Petrichor.
Petrichor from the After rains, yes, that smell of new ions that have been electrified by bacteria.
I love that.
I love the smell of gunpowder.
I love the smell of a shooting range.
I love that.
I love the smell of the wonderful, of cordite.
And I just, oh my god.
It's a beautiful smell to it.
I just, I don't know why.
But there must be something atavistic, something that connects, something that makes you aware of how this thing is.
Lumberyard, the smell of a freshly painted room, to smell like when you use when there's somebody, when a carpenter is cutting wood with a saw.
I love that.
A power saw.
Chicken fertilizer.
Horseshoe crab dad.
I don't know what that means.
I like this.
Warm beer breath.
Interesting.
I don't know if that's good.
Beer and fresh cut plywood.
Yes.
There was a smell for those in Florida growing up and if you ever went to the it was the I think I'm freezing up here.
It was the bush gardens.
And we could smell the malt from when they make the hops, making the beer.
It was the most beautiful smell.
It was wonderful.
And the only time I ever smelled it was there.
That was it.
Wet moss in autumn.
Paper mills.
Yes.
Do you know...
There's this smell of, in Frostproof, where they make orange juice.
The smell of the pulp and the ground, it's not a good smell at all.
It's a funky smell.
And everything smells like it.
It's not necessarily good.
It's not bad.
But you never forget it.
And it permeates every aspect.
Every square inch of it.
It's beautiful.
Crude oil.
My dad's shoe polish on the weekend when I was a kid.
Listen to Leslie Watson.
You see that?
Orange blossoms.
Petrol.
Smoked salmon.
On Vancouver Island.
It's beautiful.
There's a place on St. Pete Beach.
Well, actually, go for it.
It's called Ted P. You have smoked mullet and smoked mackerel.
And you could smell this.
Give me barbecue.
The smell of barbecue.
The smell, first of all, of starting a fire.
Sometimes the smell of lighter fluid on briquettes.
And then later on, wood, and when meat hits it, it's the most...
It's the most beautiful.
I love the smell of marinas.
I love the smell.
I don't want to go in a boat, but it reminds me of flora.
And throw the smell in with seagulls.
Together?
Forget it.
Forget it.
There's something.
Lester.
Glue.
Fresh basil.
Yes.
Baltimore Crab Feast.
The Bay Seasoning.
Yes, Edie.
Yes.
Lilacs.
Bonfires and burning paper.
Reminds me of being a small kid.
A drunkard's salami breath.
Thank you, Dark Scar.
Tester's model glue.
Yes, weird.
Weird.
Very strange.
Yes.
Yes, I love the smell sometimes of Isn't this wonderful?
Think of this.
Wonderful.
We're going to be looking at this later on.
Lemons, cow pastures, roses and valerian blooms.
Cedar!
Yes!
Cedar!
Oh my god, you're so correct.
Cedar.
Isn't it something how humans can talk just about smells?
Do you understand this?
I hope you do.
I understand it.
Am I freezing up?
Do you see my visage freezing here?
I see it.
I see it as being very annoying.
My freezing.
I got rid of one thing.
Sometimes when you have too many windows open and the like.
Resin or rosin.
Yes.
Wonderful.
I think perhaps that might be a...
Remember we had this conversation.
Remember we had this conversation.
Remember.
Remember how smells are critical and how we've lost our sense of olfactory acuteness in the life.
Thank you for this, dear friend.
I'm going to bow out because it's freezing a little bit.
Don't forget July 19th at the Cutting Room, ladies and gentlemen.
July 19th, I'm going to be there.
And tomorrow morning, or early, from 1 to 5 a.m. Eastern Time, WABC, I'm going to hit them with this.
They're not going to know what hit them.
They won't know what to do.
And I tried it on with you.
And I'll remember what you said.
Because you're always my, you're my tester, so to speak.
You're my laboratory.
We love you, ladies and gentlemen.
Please follow Mrs. L at Lynn's Warriors.
Have a great and a glorious day.
Thank you so much.
And until tomorrow, remember, the monkey's dead.
The show's over.
Export Selection