| Time | Text |
|---|---|
|
Back To Reality
00:02:53
|
|
| To connect with you on the subway. | |
| It was phenomenal. | |
| But I couldn't. | |
| So let me switch this around. | |
| You don't want to see me. | |
| You should see the You should see the looks here. | |
| Hang on a minute. | |
| Hang on a minute here. | |
| Just a minute here. | |
| Just a minute. | |
| God dammit. | |
| I want to be able to switch this thing on the side. | |
| Hang on. | |
| Hang on. | |
| Sorry. | |
| I know you hate this, but you gotta let me do this. | |
| Sorry about that. | |
| Sorry. | |
| Check this out. | |
| Look at the tourists. | |
| Can you see this? | |
| You wouldn't have believed what I saw. | |
| I was on the N train from downtown from the courthouse. | |
| It was humanity. | |
| And I couldn't get a damn signal anywhere. | |
| Could not get a signal. | |
| Drove me nuts. | |
| Anyway, how's everybody? | |
| How's everybody doing? | |
| Serafina, ladies and gentlemen. | |
| Tourist trap. | |
| the smell of the funk. | |
| I have been... | |
| But I am liberated. | |
| I had two days of downtown, two days of the courthouse, two days of great Vietnamese. | |
| I had a vegetarian banh mi today and some wonderful, wonderful morning glory or hollow vegetables. | |
| They are phenomenal. | |
| 507, people are getting off, people are going home. | |
| Famous McGee's. | |
| McGee's up here at the street. | |
| McGee's. | |
| I am so out of whack, so out of touch, so out of everything. | |
| But I'm back to normal, back to reality. | |
| So glad to be back. | |
| Got the show tonight one to five, which is beauteous. | |
| McGee's, by the way, used to be the place next to, um, next to, What am I trying to say? | |
| Used to be next to... | |
| That's it. | |
| I'm gonna go see a photo. | |
| Oh, look who it is. | |
| It's Make the Dream. | |
| Big Dick, how are you? | |
| I'm sorry, I can't read. | |
| I don't have my stick. | |
| I know you like landscape. | |
| I know you don't like this. | |
| I can't do the landscape. | |
|
The Original Soup Nazi
00:05:56
|
|
| For some reason, I don't know why. | |
| I don't know, so I apologize. | |
| Oh, you know what this is up here? | |
| Remember the soup Nazi, Seinfeld? | |
| This is the original guy, right up here. | |
| And he was every bit the prick that was described on the TV show. | |
| See that? | |
| Soup Kitchen. | |
| Al Yagana. | |
| Yagana. | |
| See those funky things they put their hands into with the e-bikes? | |
| Anyway, this is for my sister, by the way, the shut-in. | |
| That's it. | |
| That's the original. | |
| That's it. | |
| He was a prick. | |
| Absolutely. | |
| Here's Spyscape. | |
| Nobody knows what the hell it is. | |
| Let me see if my favorite shoe man is in. | |
| The best. | |
| I hope he's in. | |
| I want you to meet him. | |
| He's a great friend of mine. | |
| And again, I apologize. | |
| I know you like landscape. | |
| I'm sorry. | |
| I just pulled this out very quickly. | |
| I bet you've heard that line before. | |
| And look at this guy. | |
| See this guy yelling? | |
| See this guy just yelling. | |
| No particular reason. | |
| Hang on. | |
| I want to show you something. | |
| a subway. | |
| This used to be the Mali That was Barcelona. | |
| This was the biggest dive bar. | |
| Of all time, it was the greatest. | |
| Hang on, let me see if he's here. | |
| Look at this up here. | |
| Let me show you something. | |
| Excuse me, sir. | |
| See the picture up there? | |
| See it? | |
| Right up there. | |
| See the Wall of Fame? | |
| We've got Letterman. | |
| Joey Orbach. | |
| We got ice cube, ice tray, cold beer. | |
| We forget about him. | |
| Diddy. | |
| See the woman on the left? | |
| This one on the left. | |
| This is Wunder Klemperer's daughter. | |
| I'm sorry, daughter. | |
| Why? | |
| I just want to stop and say hello. | |
| I bought my YouTube it. | |
| This is the best shoe man in the world. | |
| The best. | |
| This is Lorenzo. | |
| I'll come by and see you when you're not busy. | |
| The best. | |
| The best. | |
| Rostell's Shoe Service. | |
| Right here on 8th Avenue. | |
| Right here. | |
| Look at these cute little things he has here. | |
| Look at these. | |
| Isn't it great? | |
| These little tchotchkes. | |
| He is one of the few. | |
| We come in and talk politics. | |
| He's one of the nicest gentlemen around. | |
| I wish I could catch him now. | |
| He was quite the artist. | |
| How he keeps track of his shoes, I have no earthly idea. | |
| Seriously, I have no idea. | |
| You know what? | |
| I'll come by and get him again. | |
| I'll come by later. | |
| Anyway, this was brief. | |
| Sorry about that. | |
| This is my favorite, favorite, favorite. | |
| My favorite. | |
| Did I say that enough? | |
| Health Food Place, Westerly Natural Market. | |
| 54th and 8th. | |
| Sorry about all this. | |
| I'm gonna show you this. | |
| The smell of this is phenomenal. | |
| This is amazing. | |
| After I'm eating, sometimes late at night, my sugar drops. | |
| I say my sugar, my whatever it is. | |
| Look at this assortment of all of this stuff. | |
| Look at this. | |
| Look at this. | |
| I love this place. | |
| Let me take a little tour. | |
| The aisles are thin, or not very wide. | |
| They're rather narrow, but they're worth it. | |
| You know what I love about this place the most? | |
| Check this out. | |
| The funky mushroom. | |
| Look at this. | |
| You've got the royal trumpets. | |
| You've got organic maitakes. | |
| This I love. | |
| This is lion's mane. | |
| This is oyster mushrooms. | |
| These are organic chestnuts here. | |
| This is gray oyster. | |
| A variable melange of whole foods. | |
| This is my favorite over here. | |
| Follow the heart. | |
| Blue cheese. | |
| Blue cheese. | |
| Plant-based cheese. | |
| One of my favorites. | |
| Let's walk through this. | |
| This is westerly, by the way. | |
| 54th and 8th. | |
| Inderhood. | |
| 80 million kinds of hummus. | |
| This is excellent stuff here, by the way. | |
| Check this out. | |
| Wonderful stuff. | |
| Wonderful stuff. | |
| Let me show you this over here. | |
| The soups are incredible. | |
| A veritable pastiche of foods. | |
| Let me go this way. | |