Lionel Nation - Mrs. L and I Vanish into Nature for Mother’s Day—What We Found Was Pure Magic
Aired: 2025-05-12
Duration: 42:10


=== Gorgeous Day Outdoors (08:33) ===

[00:00:00]  I always wait a second before this starts, because whenever I play this back, I told you before there's this glitch.
[00:00:07]  Well, guess who my guest is today?
[00:00:10]  Ta-da!
[00:00:11]  Happy Mother's Day!
[00:00:13]  I hope you can hear her.
[00:00:14]  We're going to be perambulating about.
[00:00:16]  I'm not going to say, I'm not going to go into detail where.
[00:00:19]  We're just out and about on this beauteous day, on this nature.
[00:00:23]  Got to get a little closer.
[00:00:25]  Any special thoughts for our friends today?
[00:00:28]  I hope everybody's enjoying the day and they're taking a few minutes away from their everyday type of being and doing a few things that are a little different today, even if it's 10 or 15 minutes.
[00:00:39]  I'm wondering if I should take the headphones off and let you speak.
[00:00:46]  I don't really know.
[00:00:47]  No, go ahead.
[00:00:53]  That is so cute.
[00:00:55]  I don't want to take pictures of babies.
[00:00:57]  So how was the day so far, my darling?
[00:00:59]  The day is perfect.
[00:01:00]  The weather is gorgeous.
[00:01:02]  So many people out and about, happy with the great weather.
[00:01:05]  I'm going to take this out.
[00:01:07]  Let me ask you if you think this is better.
[00:01:09]  Does this sound better?
[00:01:11]  Give me a five by five.
[00:01:12]  What sounds better?
[00:01:13]  Because I think we can pick up Mrs. L better.
[00:01:16]  Does that make sense?
[00:01:18]  How are you going to walk like that?
[00:01:20]  I'm going to walk like that with my arm up.
[00:01:22]  That's a little...
[00:01:23]  It looks stupid.
[00:01:23]  That's a little stressful.
[00:01:24]  Well, not really.
[00:01:25]  Really?
[00:01:26]  Okay.
[00:01:26]  Not really.
[00:01:27]  I can hold it, too.
[00:01:28]  Anyway, what's everybody doing?
[00:01:30]  Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers.
[00:01:33]  Any mothers, grandmothers?
[00:01:35]  There's all kinds of mothers, you know?
[00:01:37]  Mothers to friends, mothers to neighbors.
[00:01:41]  Families are all different dynamics, but it is Mother's Day.
[00:01:44]  Yes.
[00:01:45]  In fact, we're going to sit down on this little bench up here first.
[00:01:48]  What do you say?
[00:01:49]  A little bit of bench?
[00:01:51]  This bench or one down the road.
[00:01:52]  Whatever you want.
[00:01:53]  You want to sit here?
[00:01:54]  Yeah, just for a moment.
[00:01:55]  We'll send some love.
[00:01:59]  You're part of this.
[00:02:00]  You haven't been on one of my walks.
[00:02:01]  No.
[00:02:02]  Well, I was three times square.
[00:02:04]  Yes, you were.
[00:02:05]  Taking our life into our hands that night.
[00:02:08]  What is this?
[00:02:10]  Oh.
[00:02:11]  Here, have a seat.
[00:02:12]  I think they're dedicating a bench.
[00:02:18]  You know you've made it, you know you've made it when you, when you, when you, when you, well, when you devote yourself to a bench.
[00:02:26]  Anyway, can you believe how beautiful this is?
[00:02:27]  The weather's gorgeous, there's a breeze.
[00:02:29]  Speaking of gorgeous, look at you.
[00:02:30]  Look at the, um, hot stuff.
[00:02:32]  Sexy superstar husband of mine.
[00:02:34]  Listen, the breeze, hear the leaves rustling?
[00:02:36]  Oh!
[00:02:37]  And I love that smell of grass.
[00:02:39]  It's beautiful.
[00:02:40]  There's a quiet, although there's a lot of people, a lot of people in here.
[00:02:44]  It's quiet, you're that quiet, I love it.
[00:02:47]  I love Mrs. L's hair.
[00:02:48]  Beautiful, as always.
[00:02:50]  My hair's up.
[00:02:51]  It's up.
[00:02:53]  We had a hell of a day so far.
[00:02:54]  We went by Costco.
[00:02:57]  That is just...
[00:02:59]  Because you're always hyperventilating there.
[00:03:01]  That's a little much for you.
[00:03:02]  It's a little much.
[00:03:03]  We had to get the provisions for the week.
[00:03:06]  Certain things you have to get.
[00:03:07]  We have to get that.
[00:03:08]  Let me go to a place called Stew Leonard's.
[00:03:11]  I got my Florida corn, which I love in the husk.
[00:03:17]  There's nothing, nothing.
[00:03:18]  And when the Jersey corn season comes through, oh, you're gorgeous.
[00:03:23]  Well, thank you, Christine.
[00:03:26]  I appreciate that.
[00:03:28]  We went to Michael's, so I can get some frames.
[00:03:32]  We went to the Michael's art store, and invariably, we have this app that we can't access.
[00:03:39]  This doesn't access, so they have this poor guy with pink hair who is helping out everybody.
[00:03:46]  Every customer he was helping.
[00:03:47]  Everybody in the self service.
[00:03:49]  They make it impossible when you're trying to access a coupon so you just walk away so you won't access it.
[00:03:53]  I know.
[00:03:54]  I know.
[00:03:55]  They used to just, you put your phone number in, you get your coupons and rewards.
[00:03:59]  But he ended up saying, ah, what the hell, here's...
[00:04:01]  What the hell, let me put it in.
[00:04:03]  A couple of bucks out here.
[00:04:05]  So anyway, it is gorgeous today.
[00:04:08]  Here's a man, he's talking to himself.
[00:04:09]  Yeah, that's what I was thinking.
[00:04:12]  It's not very far.
[00:04:13]  I don't, I...
[00:04:15]  I guess we're doing this.
[00:04:16]  I guess this is maybe...
[00:04:17]  We're doing the same thing.
[00:04:18]  Well, we're kind of doing the same thing, but we're live streaming.
[00:04:20]  This guy...
[00:04:21]  Nobody puts...
[00:04:21]  Maybe it's better not to put the phone up to your head.
[00:04:24]  I think it's better.
[00:04:25]  Yeah, probably better.
[00:04:26]  I think putting all these things in our ears, I think it's done something to everybody's brains.
[00:04:30]  I know, I really do.
[00:04:31]  This is so stupid.
[00:04:32]  I've got this.
[00:04:33]  I've got this.
[00:04:33]  Why do you have that in your ears?
[00:04:34]  I have no idea.
[00:04:35]  Because I'm crazy.
[00:04:36]  I think people can hear us.
[00:04:37]  Can they hear us?
[00:04:38]  Can you hear me okay?
[00:04:39]  Be honest.
[00:04:40]  Give me a five by five.
[00:04:41]  Are we coming through?
[00:04:42]  How many people are on there?
[00:04:43]  I can't see.
[00:04:46]  Uh, 117.
[00:04:47]  Interesting.
[00:04:48]  31 likes.
[00:04:49]  You gotta like those.
[00:04:50]  That's it.
[00:04:51]  Loud and clear.
[00:04:51]  Look at this.
[00:04:52]  If 117 are on there, we need 117 likes.
[00:04:54]  By the by.
[00:04:55]  There's another one.
[00:04:56]  I did.
[00:04:57]  Another guy talking to himself.
[00:04:58]  I don't want to show you their pictures, I think.
[00:05:00]  No, no, we don't do that.
[00:05:00]  I don't want to betray their privacy.
[00:05:01]  No, no, no, we do not do that.
[00:05:02]  There is, um, I did a great interview with Eric Thaddeus Walters.
[00:05:06]  Oh my God!
[00:05:07]  Wait till you, wait till you hear this.
[00:05:09]  I'm still absorbing some of the information.
[00:05:11]  Well, this Leo XIV may actually be a legit pope.
[00:05:15]  He may actually be correcting the anti-pope who was no good, and that's Francis.
[00:05:22]  That's another story.
[00:05:24]  That's another program.
[00:05:25]  Another story, another program.
[00:05:27]  Louis Block, ladies and gentlemen, joins us.
[00:05:30]  Who else is there?
[00:05:32]  Look how great that is.
[00:05:34]  Don't put the camera on.
[00:05:36]  The two girls playing volleyball.
[00:05:38]  Two little girls at soccer.
[00:05:40]  They're doing volleyball.
[00:05:42]  One girl was trying to do a handstand.
[00:05:44]  I couldn't do it.
[00:05:44]  I never had a handstand.
[00:05:45]  You were very, from what I understand.
[00:05:47]  Yes, I was into the gymnastics.
[00:05:49]  Not me.
[00:05:50]  Not me, in the least.
[00:05:53]  I knew no...
[00:05:54]  Oh yeah, you're right.
[00:05:54]  It's a soccer ball.
[00:05:56]  Well, but they're doing a combination.
[00:05:58]  They are doing volleyball.
[00:06:00]  That's good.
[00:06:01]  They're running around in the grass.
[00:06:02]  I like to see people...
[00:06:04]  Making noise.
[00:06:05]  I like to see...
[00:06:06]  Physical activity.
[00:06:07]  There was a woman...
[00:06:09]  I'm thinking very...
[00:06:15]  There's a place called Stu Leonard's.
[00:06:24]  S-T-E-W.
[00:06:26]  Stu as in Stuart Leonard's.
[00:06:27]  And there was a woman...
[00:06:29]  I got my Florida corn.
[00:06:31]  You were doing the Michaels thing.
[00:06:32]  So I went to get my Florida corn, and all of a sudden...
[00:06:36]  They said, oh, four or five!
[00:06:39]  So I walked over, and there was this woman.
[00:06:40]  She looked like she was born in her 70s, wavering her arms.
[00:06:45]  Open here!
[00:06:46]  I said, you're not to scream.
[00:06:47]  She says, I don't scream.
[00:06:48]  I said, I think that was scream.
[00:06:50]  So we got into this debate.
[00:06:51]  And normally they're so nice to students.
[00:06:53]  This woman was going to, like, take me to attack.
[00:06:55]  I'm taking my time picture and picking frames up.
[00:06:57]  I said, you're flailing your arms around and screaming.
[00:07:00]  And she said...
[00:07:03]  And I told her, I said, listen, I'd love to debate this with you, but I've got to go.
[00:07:06]  Let's go.
[00:07:06]  I'm sure you won the debate.
[00:07:07]  No.
[00:07:08]  As you walked on.
[00:07:09]  I'm a master.
[00:07:10]  Well, she doesn't have to be like that.
[00:07:11]  You know, it takes such little effort just to be nice.
[00:07:15]  Think about it.
[00:07:16]  There was a woman at the CVS.
[00:07:18]  Remember the one...
[00:07:19]  I haven't seen her like this.
[00:07:21]  She looked like...
[00:07:22]  Her name's like Migs or something.
[00:07:24]  She looked always mad.
[00:07:26]  I think her name was Rose, actually.
[00:07:28]  Look at this.
[00:07:28]  It's been me five years from now.
[00:07:30]  Kiss.
[00:07:31]  You get stiff.
[00:07:32]  I try not to slow down.
[00:07:37]  That was good before.
[00:07:37]  She's talking about stiff.
[00:07:39]  Give me a favor.
[00:07:40]  If you're in pain, don't complain.
[00:07:42]  Nobody wants to hear it.
[00:07:44]  There's no reason.
[00:07:45]  Nobody wants to hear you're in pain.
[00:07:47]  Nobody!
[00:07:47]  Nobody!
[00:07:48]  I hope so.
[00:07:53]  But if you're in pain, don't tell anybody.
[00:08:02]  Nobody cares.
[00:08:04]  Tell me more, Ma, about how stiff you are.
[00:08:09]  Tell me about your aches and pains.
[00:08:12]  Oh, I love to see kids.
[00:08:14]  You know what we also, what I love to do, too, is we saw that place, where was it?

=== Fireworks and Fins (03:09) ===

[00:08:20]  It's in West Orange, the 9-11 joint.
[00:08:23]  Black families have family reunions, and they all have the t-shirts, you know, the Jefferson family, the Thompson, whatever, and they're all having fun.
[00:08:33]  We should go there.
[00:08:34]  But we're not, imagine, we'll walk up and say, Uncle Dave!
[00:08:37]  Who are you?
[00:08:38]  We can be there.
[00:08:40]  Anyway, but that's a beautiful thing.
[00:08:43]  Also, there was a place in Clifton, New Jersey.
[00:08:48]  Let me tell you.
[00:08:49]  In Clifton, where they had...
[00:08:51]  They're playing cricket.
[00:08:56]  The Indians.
[00:08:57]  you hear the bells The peal of a bell and the Christmas tree smell in the eye.
[00:09:08]  No, in this.
[00:09:09]  Eyes full of fins on the fire.
[00:09:10]  I believe in Father...
[00:09:11]  What was it?
[00:09:12]  Three bells?
[00:09:13]  It's not even...
[00:09:14]  It's 3.30.
[00:09:18]  Don't you ever sit back and wonder what people's stories are?
[00:09:20]  Like, what's their story?
[00:09:22]  What are they all about?
[00:09:24]  I'm glad to see people out.
[00:09:26]  I'm glad to hear the birds.
[00:09:27]  I see a lot of dogs.
[00:09:28]  The kids are running around playing.
[00:09:30]  All different ages of kids here.
[00:09:31]  A little bit older.
[00:09:32]  Little ones.
[00:09:33]  Breaking news.
[00:09:34]  China and U.S. make a trade deal.
[00:09:35]  Of course we knew the whole time.
[00:09:39]  Let me tell you what Trump does.
[00:09:40]  Trump goes in there and he says these stupid ass things and then he says, "I love it!
[00:09:45]  The Gulf of America.
[00:09:47]  I'm gonna make Canada the 51st state." Did you see how he's distancing himself from Netanyahu and this?
[00:09:54]  He wants to recognize a Palestinian state?
[00:09:57]  What the hell is going on here?
[00:09:58]  I just say don't even bother.
[00:10:00]  He says these things and then later on he...
[00:10:05]  He starts off really hard.
[00:10:07]  You know what I mean?
[00:10:07]  Really tough and then all of a sudden he changes his mind.
[00:10:11]  Look at this.
[00:10:11]  I'll just check it out on Tuesday.
[00:10:13]  I'll be in D.C. Yes, the art of the day.
[00:10:17]  Wait till Mrs. Dell tells you after the fact where she's going.
[00:10:21]  That's all I'm going to tell you.
[00:10:25]  Oh, is that beautiful?
[00:10:26]  Oh yeah, this is a good one.
[00:10:28]  And even then, perhaps not.
[00:10:31]  One uses discretion.
[00:10:34]  We are...
[00:10:35]  We are...
[00:10:35]  There's so much stuff.
[00:10:37]  And you've got to do that because of the muck and the mire and the horror that you have to look through.
[00:10:42]  Well, I don't see anybody pulling their pants down going to the bathroom.
[00:10:45]  Well, the day's young.
[00:10:47]  You know how I get.
[00:10:50]  Sometimes I get incontinent.
[00:10:51]  I've got to fire away.
[00:10:53]  Fire when ready.
[00:10:54]  When you see that in New York sometimes, it's just so disgusting.
[00:10:57]  I think so.
[00:10:58]  I mean, it's just...
[00:10:59]  Have you seen the TED Talk on...
[00:11:03]  Open defecation in India.
[00:11:04]  I don't want to talk about it.
[00:11:05]  It's a wonderful...
[00:11:06]  It's Mother's Day.
[00:11:06]  It's a great, great...
[00:11:07]  We're going to watch it later.
[00:11:08]  It's fantastic.
[00:11:09]  Okay, well, you can...
[00:11:10]  I don't have to see it.
[00:11:11]  I know what it is.

=== Jewish Mothers' Wisdom (09:35) ===

[00:11:13]  Be on the look, CL.
[00:11:14]  There you go.
[00:11:16]  This breeze is beautiful.
[00:11:19]  Isn't this serene?
[00:11:20]  Yep.
[00:11:22]  Can you hear the clip clap?
[00:11:26]  Don't run.
[00:11:28]  Seriously.
[00:11:28]  Why don't they just fast walk?
[00:11:30]  Exactly.
[00:11:31]  What is that?
[00:11:32]  Reno, Nevada, happy Mother's Day.
[00:11:34]  India and Pakistan are fighting each other again.
[00:11:39]  Happy Mother's Day to everybody out there.
[00:11:41]  Mothers are the backbone of the family.
[00:11:45]  If we had women running the world, I'm convinced...
[00:11:48]  There'd be no...
[00:11:49]  No, we'd be in a better place.
[00:11:51]  There'd be no wars, but there'd be a lot of people giving each other dirty looks.
[00:11:54]  But there'd be a lot of mean girls, maybe.
[00:11:56]  Because I think at my age, I would have to run into the mean girls.
[00:12:00]  Oh, wouldn't you love that?
[00:12:01]  I thought I left them behind in 5th, 6th, and 7th grade.
[00:12:04]  I didn't.
[00:12:04]  I didn't know.
[00:12:05]  How about women who have this missed adolescence who want to just go over there, just talk about how hot they are.
[00:12:13]  They think they're living in, like, sex in the city.
[00:12:15]  Yeah!
[00:12:15]  They think they're woo-hoo!
[00:12:17]  How was that again?
[00:12:18]  How was that?
[00:12:20]  Woo-hoo, girls!
[00:12:22]  Or they look hideous, you know.
[00:12:24]  Or they do this.
[00:12:25]  50, 60, 70 years old.
[00:12:26]  Love, love, love.
[00:12:26]  They look hideous.
[00:12:29]  Something about...
[00:12:30]  They're like a little hippie couple wearing sandals.
[00:12:33]  I will never wear sandals.
[00:12:34]  Never.
[00:12:35]  So many people are wearing sandals.
[00:12:37]  I noticed it in the city.
[00:12:38]  Birkenstocks?
[00:12:38]  Yes.
[00:12:39]  What's the point?
[00:12:40]  Why do you want to walk out with your feet getting dirty?
[00:12:42]  I think they're very comfortable, probably.
[00:12:44]  I don't think so.
[00:12:46]  You couldn't pay me to wear all that stuff.
[00:12:47]  Give me a set of pair of Allbirds.
[00:12:49]  Look at what's on my feet.
[00:12:51]  That's good.
[00:12:52]  You know?
[00:12:53]  There you go.
[00:12:54]  Just figuring it out.
[00:12:55]  There's a thing.
[00:12:58]  I like that.
[00:12:59]  That's good.
[00:12:59]  That's like a family.
[00:13:01]  I like the old hippie look.
[00:13:03]  You know, that reminds me of like the ones who go to like the Strand.
[00:13:07]  They have the old guy with the ponytail and the Strand bag and the tie-dye shirt.
[00:13:14]  You know, we brought it up the other day.
[00:13:15]  Remember Colony Records?
[00:13:16]  Yes, next to the Brill Building where I took you.
[00:13:19]  And I used to go in there and they would have those old hippies.
[00:13:22]  That's a long story.
[00:13:24]  That joke is not even a joke.
[00:13:27]  In 1939, they would tell you everything.
[00:13:30]  You'd go in to look for a particular song.
[00:13:32]  They'd give you the history.
[00:13:34]  It was fascinating.
[00:13:36]  It was like just walking into a museum.
[00:13:38]  That hurt me when that closed.
[00:13:40]  I like old head shops.
[00:13:41]  We would have, when I was a teenager, they would have some Vietnam vet, some dude who ran it, smelled of incense they showed.
[00:13:50]  They had the metal frames.
[00:13:52]  You could buy the posters, buy Zappa Krapa.
[00:13:56]  I mean, that was one.
[00:13:58]  All these, it was just, I could just spend hours looking through the albums.
[00:14:02]  I don't know if you've ever seen anything at all, but when the kids were doing the lemonade stand, there was like a camera.
[00:14:10]  That's a professional.
[00:14:12]  You know what?
[00:14:14]  It's Mother's Day, they're out.
[00:14:16]  Talking about motherly things.
[00:14:17]  She's a professional mom.
[00:14:19]  She's talking about the kid's lemonade stand.
[00:14:21]  It's very nice to hear these things in 2020.
[00:14:23]  It is nice.
[00:14:24]  It's good.
[00:14:25]  I love hearing about a lemonade stand.
[00:14:27]  Remember the one?
[00:14:28]  We saw one not too far from here.
[00:14:30]  The one time there was a kid at a lemonade stand.
[00:14:31]  A kid cleared, cleaned house!
[00:14:34]  We just gave the money.
[00:14:35]  We just gave the money.
[00:14:36]  We didn't want the sugar.
[00:14:37]  I'm not really sure.
[00:14:38]  Because you always think fentanyl.
[00:14:40]  It's laced.
[00:14:40]  Well, you know what?
[00:14:43]  Again, I would not...
[00:14:44]  She doesn't take anything from the lemonade stand.
[00:14:46]  Yeah.
[00:14:46]  That was a few years ago.
[00:14:47]  Oh, she takes nothing from anything?
[00:14:49]  Nope.
[00:14:49]  Not with what we know.
[00:14:52]  Everything is contaminated pretty much.
[00:14:54]  Be very careful.
[00:14:56]  That's why I like cooking at home a lot.
[00:14:58]  Yes, yes, yes.
[00:14:59]  Eat at home, make our own food, you know, what goes into it.
[00:15:02]  You know what ingredients we use.
[00:15:03]  Remember the head shops where they had, or the places where you could store your stash.
[00:15:08]  They had these.
[00:15:09]  They would all...
[00:15:10]  They also had, they were designed to steal, to store your jewelry.
[00:15:18]  And there'd be like a WD-40 or, the best is Cheetos.
[00:15:22]  I remember those Cheetos cans, like tennis ball cans with Cheetos or Pringles.
[00:15:30]  Yeah, but Cheetos.
[00:15:31]  Put it in there.
[00:15:32]  Really?
[00:15:32]  I never ate that stuff.
[00:15:33]  I had Pringles once.
[00:15:34]  Always store your jewelry stuff in the kitchen.
[00:15:38]  That's what you did.
[00:15:39]  Nobody, well, jewelry.
[00:15:40]  I don't know about that stuff.
[00:15:43]  Remember a disc washer?
[00:15:45]  Remember the disc washer inside?
[00:15:46]  They had that little wooden device that had the corrugated, rivulated whatever that brush was or that coarse coating where you would put the drops inside there.
[00:16:06]  Rumor has it, from what I read, Jesus Christ Superstar was the best album because it was very coarse to sift seeds and stuff.
[00:16:14]  Now, what I read, look at that.
[00:16:17]  They got a picnic.
[00:16:17]  Look at that.
[00:16:18]  The mother's got that.
[00:16:19]  Oh, they're leaving.
[00:16:20]  Well, they just had the picnic with the kids.
[00:16:22]  They're cleaning up.
[00:16:24]  My dishwasher looked like a Corvette.
[00:16:26]  There was a little car.
[00:16:28]  Oh.
[00:16:29]  Don't you remember the old dishwashers when we were kids?
[00:16:31]  Oh, yeah.
[00:16:32]  You would hook it up to the sink.
[00:16:35]  The sink, yeah.
[00:16:35]  I mean, we're going back.
[00:16:39]  We had one you had to reach down.
[00:16:42]  Do you know what I'm talking about?
[00:16:44]  No.
[00:16:45]  Reach down.
[00:16:46]  The door didn't open to the front.
[00:16:48]  It was a top loader.
[00:16:49]  Oh, yes, yes.
[00:16:50]  It was a top loader.
[00:16:53]  Yes, yes.
[00:16:53]  Oh, it was awful.
[00:16:54]  I was always reaching in there all the time.
[00:16:56]  And she cleans the dishes better than...
[00:17:03]  What am I saying?
[00:17:06]  Me in five years.
[00:17:08]  He can't sit up straight.
[00:17:10]  I don't want my back to look like that.
[00:17:11]  He has kyphosis versus lordosis.
[00:17:16]  Look it up.
[00:17:17]  Look at the difference.
[00:17:17]  No, I wash dishes.
[00:17:19]  No, you clean them up before you put them in the dishwasher.
[00:17:21]  They're better.
[00:17:22]  I don't want all the food.
[00:17:23]  And this is what we say all the time.
[00:17:25]  Is this clean?
[00:17:26]  I can't tell you.
[00:17:27]  No, they're dirty.
[00:17:28]  I'm saying, this is dirty?
[00:17:29]  I'm looking it up.
[00:17:31]  My God, is this clean?
[00:17:32]  I will not put stuff all over in the dishwasher.
[00:17:35]  And we got our little pods.
[00:17:37]  Remember the old days that stuff that...
[00:17:40]  Powder.
[00:17:40]  Powder, yeah, we'd scoop it out.
[00:17:42]  They had that little...
[00:17:43]  Now we've got the pods.
[00:17:45]  Justin Vegas is very sweet to see.
[00:17:48]  I don't know what that means.
[00:17:49]  What's sweet?
[00:17:49]  I think we're sweet.
[00:17:50]  We're sweet.
[00:17:51]  We're sweet and innocent.
[00:17:53]  Who was that?
[00:17:54]  I don't know about the innocent part.
[00:17:55]  No, that was Donny Osmond somewhere.
[00:17:57]  Donny Osmond.
[00:17:58]  He could rock.
[00:17:59]  Donny Osmond's great.
[00:18:01]  Donny can rock.
[00:18:02]  How about Tony DeFranco?
[00:18:04]  Say the land stands for me.
[00:18:06]  Written by Doc Palmas.
[00:18:07]  Look at this.
[00:18:08]  Amazon working constantly.
[00:18:12]  Coming home...
[00:18:13]  Listening to 80s music.
[00:18:14]  You hear that music?
[00:18:14]  Coming home this morning about 5...
[00:18:17]  5 o 'clock.
[00:18:19]  Amazon trucks.
[00:18:20]  Delivery.
[00:18:20]  People are getting food and delivery.
[00:18:22]  They did improve the hand-washing dish formula, but I use a dishwasher.
[00:18:28]  There you go.
[00:18:29]  No, they did.
[00:18:30]  There's so much dish washing, there's so much of everything.
[00:18:33]  So many shampoos, so many deodorants, so many of these things.
[00:18:35]  So many toothpastes, there's so much of everything.
[00:18:37]  You guys should get a bicycle built for two then you would really look sweet and then you could go pro and gopro yeah You know we saw too we were in a part of driving around It's a very,
[00:19:01]  it's a Jewish, Jewish group, and they have the Whig, Orthodox Jew, the Jewish Whig.
[00:19:08]  Jewish neighborhood.
[00:19:08]  Jewish neighborhood, yeah.
[00:19:10]  You know, but it means the Jewish Whig, which is fine.
[00:19:13]  And they even had a daughter who was like, they were like climbing.
[00:19:16]  You know, we saw it today too, listen to this.
[00:19:18]  So cute, little ducks.
[00:19:20]  I was in a river truck.
[00:19:21]  Little ducks crossing a railroad.
[00:19:23]  I was with their mother and their father.
[00:19:24]  I was in a river truck.
[00:19:25]  How do you know it was their father?
[00:19:27]  There was one big one in the front, one big one in the back.
[00:19:31]  And you never see, you never see, you never see baby pigeons.
[00:19:37]  Somebody brought them in.
[00:19:38]  I've never seen a baby, all my years.
[00:19:39]  Never have seen.
[00:19:41]  Maybe they stay until they're bigger in the nest.
[00:19:44]  I have to look up what pigeons do.
[00:19:50]  Look at that.
[00:19:51]  Look at that.
[00:19:52]  Crocs.
[00:19:54]  Crocs are the, it's the end of civilization.
[00:19:57]  Who is that chef?
[00:19:58]  Atali.
[00:19:59]  Mario Batali.
[00:20:00]  He got rid of him.
[00:20:01]  He really got rid of him.
[00:20:02]  Oh!
[00:20:03]  Remember Spotted Pig?
[00:20:05]  He was rockin'!
[00:20:07]  It's a family show I can't mention.
[00:20:09]  Oh, terrible.
[00:20:11]  Eataly on...
[00:20:13]  There's a slew of them.
[00:20:18]  That'll do great, isn't it?
[00:20:20]  There's one down in Massa Square Park, 23rd Street.
[00:20:24]  There's one in the Short Hills Mall that's doing loads of business.
[00:20:29]  I know, that's right.
[00:20:32]  Now I'm on the vocal craver.

=== Scarsdale Scandals (15:25) ===

[00:20:34]  We're going to have to check out the Eater League.
[00:20:37]  Although I don't like to go where everybody else goes.
[00:20:42]  We drove by our place, Tick Tock, on Route 3, where the stones went.
[00:20:49]  I love it.
[00:20:50]  I love it.
[00:20:53]  Lori Buccox says, Happy Mother's Day, Mrs. L. Thank you for helping kids.
[00:20:58]  Thank you very much.
[00:21:00]  Thank you.
[00:21:00]  Happy Mother's Day to all the ladies out there.
[00:21:04]  I can't say it enough.
[00:21:05]  They're all our children.
[00:21:07]  We're getting to think of them.
[00:21:08]  We have to look out for all.
[00:21:10]  We have to all be mothers.
[00:21:11]  Well, it was interesting.
[00:21:13]  This morning I went through a hormonal change, how women change, and what oxytocin does after childbirth.
[00:21:22]  Not only there's a sense of warmth, but there's this weird kind of a commitment, this rabid ferocity that women have towards their children.
[00:21:32]  You've seen this.
[00:21:33]  Girls who, 15, 16, ooh, that's gross.
[00:21:37]  I think they're just self-centered.
[00:21:39]  And they have a kid, and all of a sudden...
[00:21:41]  Well, it gives them purpose.
[00:21:42]  Yes, but...
[00:21:43]  Be their baby.
[00:21:44]  But the one who says, eh, it's now picking up poopy diapers and weighing it.
[00:21:48]  When it's your child, it's different, and...
[00:21:51]  But how quick that is.
[00:21:53]  You've seen this happen before.
[00:21:54]  So that's the way it should be.
[00:21:55]  That's why you've got a bunch of...
[00:21:56]  We know a bunch of people.
[00:21:57]  A lot of people who've never married, have no kids, know nothing, and they're just...
[00:22:01]  You know...
[00:22:02]  Selfishness.
[00:22:04]  I think...
[00:22:04]  And they get really selfish, I think, when they turn about 50. They lose their mind.
[00:22:09]  They get really, like...
[00:22:10]  Because you don't realize it's over.
[00:22:12]  No, don't talk about it.
[00:22:13]  It's never over.
[00:22:14]  I believe there's somebody out there for everybody.
[00:22:17]  Well, yeah.
[00:22:19]  That's what they said about Manson.
[00:22:20]  But, they get very, um...
[00:22:22]  I'm just speaking of the ones I know.
[00:22:24]  They get very, like, selfish.
[00:22:26]  Oh.
[00:22:27]  If you're in a restaurant, you're a child.
[00:22:31]  I have a lot of patience for that.
[00:22:33]  I feel like the poor mother, the poor father...
[00:22:36]  It's a child.
[00:22:37]  They're supposed to maybe cry or get fussy.
[00:22:39]  Really.
[00:22:40]  I know.
[00:22:40]  Even when I'm in an airplane, it doesn't bother me.
[00:22:43]  They're children.
[00:22:44]  What's it supposed to do?
[00:22:44]  They're children.
[00:22:45]  And these people get so bent out of shape.
[00:22:47]  It's disgusting.
[00:22:49]  We went one time, remember the one, a friend of ours who's no longer with us.
[00:22:53]  They had, they brought in strollers or prams or whatever it was.
[00:22:58]  And she was bent out of shape and said, what do you want?
[00:23:02]  No.
[00:23:02]  I really, I think you should always limit...
[00:23:05]  We need all the children we can get.
[00:23:06]  I mean, we have to protect them, but...
[00:23:07]  You should limit yourself to getting pissed off about things that really matter.
[00:23:10]  Not stuff that...
[00:23:11]  I want to be family friendly to...
[00:23:12]  I mean, we're not talking about a romantic restaurant.
[00:23:15]  You know what I mean?
[00:23:15]  You go for eight o 'clock dinner.
[00:23:17]  No, no, right, right, right.
[00:23:18]  Let parents come out, and as long as, you know, they're okay.
[00:23:23]  I want to do a show.
[00:23:24]  People have to be more accommodating.
[00:23:25]  I'm sorry.
[00:23:25]  I want to do a show starring one of my favorite people.
[00:23:28]  We go to this one...
[00:23:31]  Supermarket type.
[00:23:32]  And there's a woman.
[00:23:33]  Bless her heart.
[00:23:34]  She is.
[00:23:35]  They call her.
[00:23:36]  I love this.
[00:23:38]  Somebody says, you know, she's high-functioning autistic.
[00:23:43]  And I'm thinking, she's high-functioning?
[00:23:46]  What does that mean, high-functioning?
[00:23:47]  It means high-functioning relative.
[00:23:49]  Thank you.
[00:23:50]  Thank you.
[00:23:57]  Good evening.
[00:23:58]  Down.
[00:23:59]  Down.
[00:24:06]  That was it.
[00:24:08]  Do I believe...
[00:24:09]  Manson had nothing to do with those...
[00:24:11]  Excuse me.
[00:24:14]  Manson had nothing to do with them.
[00:24:16]  Nothing.
[00:24:16]  Especially with the bug.
[00:24:18]  Lee Harvey Oswald had nothing to do with JFK.
[00:24:20]  Nothing.
[00:24:22]  Nothing.
[00:24:22]  He was MKUltra.
[00:24:24]  He was a probation officer.
[00:24:25]  We went through all this stuff.
[00:24:26]  But anyway, so there's this woman.
[00:24:28]  So she's...
[00:24:29]  She'll stand outside and she'll say...
[00:24:32]  How are you?
[00:24:34]  She means what.
[00:24:35]  I know she means what.
[00:24:36]  I like her.
[00:24:37]  So she says, aisle number four is open.
[00:24:39]  She goes out and people say, no, it's okay.
[00:24:42]  I like to check out.
[00:24:46]  No, we're open!
[00:24:46]  I know you're open.
[00:24:47]  I know you're open, but I prefer this.
[00:24:50]  So one time, away from her because she kind of scares people.
[00:24:54]  I want to give her a job.
[00:24:56]  What did we hear about her one time?
[00:24:58]  That's very, very good.
[00:24:59]  Oh, the snow.
[00:25:01]  She comes in snowstorms.
[00:25:02]  She takes a bus.
[00:25:03]  She doesn't ever miss a day at work.
[00:25:06]  She's not calling in sick.
[00:25:07]  How are you?
[00:25:09]  But I appreciate that.
[00:25:10]  But one time, I thought I would be a sport.
[00:25:13]  We had this bottled water in the bottom of the carriage or the boogie, whatever you want to call it.
[00:25:20]  So I thought I would pick it up and put it on the conveyor to help.
[00:25:26]  She didn't have a...
[00:25:27]  She got empty now.
[00:25:30]  She said, she basically said, I got a gun!
[00:25:32]  Now listen to this.
[00:25:33]  She said, I've got a gun.
[00:25:34]  Meaning she's got that gun you use that reads the UPC thing.
[00:25:39]  But she's yelling, this high-functioning artist, she's yelling, I've got a gun.
[00:25:45]  I'm thinking, you know, I phrase that differently.
[00:25:49]  One of those e-bikes.
[00:25:50]  E-bikes?
[00:25:52]  Those things go 40 miles an hour, 45 miles an hour.
[00:25:54]  High-functioning.
[00:25:56]  Oh, they're taking family photos.
[00:25:58]  I was wondering, they're all in this scene.
[00:26:00]  They're all in this big family.
[00:26:01]  They're all in colors of blue.
[00:26:03]  That's weird.
[00:26:05]  That's very cultish.
[00:26:07]  That's very good.
[00:26:09]  Kid is hauling ass.
[00:26:11]  Father's saying, God damn it!
[00:26:13]  Get back here!
[00:26:16]  Something's wrong with that kid.
[00:26:17]  That kid is looking for freedom.
[00:26:19]  Look at this guy.
[00:26:20]  That's determined.
[00:26:21]  Wilfred Brimley.
[00:26:25]  Absolutely, and they're not complaining.
[00:26:30]  How are you?
[00:26:33]  I've got a gun!
[00:26:35]  She takes buses and shows up.
[00:26:37]  That was funny.
[00:26:40]  You know what's happening?
[00:26:40]  I'm wearing this thing that...
[00:26:44]  I find humor in this.
[00:26:50]  LeCoin.
[00:26:55]  This is beauty.
[00:26:59]  I never sit like this.
[00:27:02]  I don't think I can get up.
[00:27:04]  Don't talk about that.
[00:27:06]  It's not because we're stiff.
[00:27:08]  No, it's not that.
[00:27:09]  I'm enjoying it.
[00:27:10]  You two have a gift.
[00:27:11]  I got a gift.
[00:27:15]  I'm enjoying...
[00:27:16]  You're my best friend.
[00:27:17]  You're my best friend.
[00:27:17]  Seriously.
[00:27:18]  I don't want anybody else.
[00:27:21]  We can do the most mundane stuff.
[00:27:24]  We're doing it right now.
[00:27:25]  And just...
[00:27:27]  And we think the same thing at the same time.
[00:27:33]  I did that today.
[00:27:35]  I gotta tell you this story.
[00:27:37]  The other day, we will fixate.
[00:27:40]  They say it's because I'm Virgo.
[00:27:42]  I'm actually pieces.
[00:27:44]  But I will fixate it with something.
[00:27:46]  So I told you I got this jury something this day.
[00:27:47]  I got a jury doing it.
[00:27:49]  I can't find it.
[00:27:51]  I couldn't find it.
[00:27:52]  She says, "Well, it was right here." Now, I can get it.
[00:27:55]  Believe me, I got connected.
[00:27:56]  I'll get another one.
[00:27:57]  But I said, "Where's your jersey?" "I don't know." "Well, did you throw it away?" I said, "How would I know if I threw it away?" I don't remember throwing it away.
[00:28:04]  We're looking through garbage.
[00:28:05]  We're like doing, like, forensic.
[00:28:08]  This is driving us crazy.
[00:28:10]  I swear to you, a ghost, something...
[00:28:13]  It was right there.
[00:28:14]  It was right in that spot.
[00:28:16]  I'm not throwing this thing away.
[00:28:18]  I've got it right there.
[00:28:18]  It's orange.
[00:28:20]  So anyway, it's driving me nuts.
[00:28:22]  And you know, sure as hell, it's going to be there.
[00:28:25]  Well, after the fact.
[00:28:26]  Do you believe in...
[00:28:27]  I mean, there's a certain amount of...
[00:28:29]  There's a certain type of poltergeist that are mischievous.
[00:28:33]  Why would they take the jury duty?
[00:28:35]  Because I don't know.
[00:28:37]  How are you?
[00:28:38]  They just know.
[00:28:41]  It's got to be there.
[00:28:42]  Because I never put the garbage out from the time...
[00:28:44]  You know what I mean?
[00:28:45]  And I went through all the garbage.
[00:28:47]  And I've looked all over.
[00:28:49]  It's driving me.
[00:28:50]  But anyway, but both of us, here we are, sifting through garbage.
[00:28:52]  It's a jury.
[00:28:53]  It doesn't matter.
[00:28:54]  But it's the principle.
[00:28:56]  Maybe because we're old and becoming fastidious and we're losing control.
[00:29:01]  Well, speak for yourself about being old.
[00:29:02]  Speaking of which, I want to ask you something.
[00:29:04]  You know what my goal is to be?
[00:29:05]  Listen to me.
[00:29:06]  I want to spend my last years being one of those product testers or people wearing a hairnet at a Costco to hand out like...
[00:29:16]  Yogurt balls, probiotic, and they just sit there scooping out.
[00:29:22]  And they're always trying to sell the stuff.
[00:29:24]  And some people just don't have...
[00:29:26]  Some people don't have any.
[00:29:28]  They're making no sales.
[00:29:30]  I can see you with the net on your head.
[00:29:31]  Oh, yeah.
[00:29:31]  Like talking to people.
[00:29:33]  Oh, absolutely.
[00:29:34]  People would love it.
[00:29:35]  Did you ever have one of these ladies who...
[00:29:39]  No, no.
[00:29:41]  Yeah, let me finish the...
[00:29:44]  I'm not talking about that.
[00:29:46]  I'm talking about at a store, they would have these ladies like Jimmy Dean sausage.
[00:29:50]  When Jimmy Dean came out, and they set up this little card table with this, like a tablecloth.
[00:29:56]  They have a frying pan, portable, and they have these little pieces of Jimmy Dean sausage.
[00:30:03]  This is fantastic!
[00:30:04]  People are buying it left and right.
[00:30:08]  And...
[00:30:08]  Can you read the story about...
[00:30:12]  Go ahead, I'm sorry.
[00:30:13]  Nothing.
[00:30:14]  I just never took strange food.
[00:30:16]  I had little toothpicks in it.
[00:30:17]  She'd be preparing, not putting it on a tray.
[00:30:19]  I never took strange food.
[00:30:23]  Do you ever hear the story about this guy who says, I want a job?
[00:30:27]  He says, what?
[00:30:28]  I want a job.
[00:30:29]  He says, you want a job?
[00:30:31]  He says, I don't know.
[00:30:33]  I can do it.
[00:30:34]  He says, well, we have a sales job.
[00:30:37]  I just don't think you'd be very good at it.
[00:30:39]  He says, I want a job.
[00:30:41]  He says, okay.
[00:30:42]  Here, I'll tell you what.
[00:30:43]  Here's a case of...
[00:30:45]  Actually, it's a pallet.
[00:30:47]  300 toothbrushes.
[00:30:48]  If you can sell those, we'll give you a job.
[00:30:51]  Let me get a manager.
[00:30:52]  I can't sell these things here.
[00:30:53]  I'll sell them!
[00:30:54]  Okay.
[00:30:55]  So anyway, next day, the guy comes back.
[00:30:58]  He says, here's the money.
[00:30:59]  He says, for what?
[00:30:59]  He goes, for the toothbrushes.
[00:31:01]  He says, you sold them?
[00:31:02]  All of them?
[00:31:03]  All of them?
[00:31:04]  A pallet?
[00:31:05]  How did you do it?
[00:31:07]  He says, well...
[00:31:08]  I set up a...
[00:31:12]  I set up a card table and I said, I have some dip and some chips.
[00:31:19]  Free dips and chip.
[00:31:21]  People come up, take a scoop of this, eat the dip, and somebody would say, it tastes like shit.
[00:31:28]  I said, it is.
[00:31:29]  Want to buy a toothbrush?
[00:31:31]  Ew!
[00:31:32]  That's like one of those bad Catskills type of things.
[00:31:36]  See, she doesn't, you know.
[00:31:38]  I get it.
[00:31:39]  I'm laughing on the inside.
[00:31:41]  But it is very sad because frequently I've passed that Friars Club on 55th.
[00:31:45]  And it's just a big, big step.
[00:31:46]  How did you go from a guy selling shit, dip, and chips?
[00:31:50]  Because it reminded me of some of those old comics like you used to know.
[00:31:53]  You know, she looks pretty good.
[00:31:59]  There's a woman walking by.
[00:32:01]  She's got one of those walkers.
[00:32:03]  And it says nitro sprint.
[00:32:05]  Isn't it funny how design, you know what I'm talking about, those wheels?
[00:32:13]  Those are great, those things.
[00:32:14]  They have those seats sometimes.
[00:32:15]  People can sit on them and they get firecracks.
[00:32:17]  Why didn't they think of this before?
[00:32:19]  I was thinking of that bad story you just told.
[00:32:23]  The Friars Club, what a beautiful building, a piece of real estate.
[00:32:30]  I'm going to talk about the design.
[00:32:32]  How long did it take people?
[00:32:33]  Remember a while back they had these This walker where they had tennis balls underneath the legs.
[00:32:43]  I thought that was pretty stupid.
[00:32:46]  Anyway, but it was a tennis ball.
[00:32:49]  Then, the idea was you can push this and you can hit the brakes and sit down or maybe store some stuff inside.
[00:32:57]  I think that's the smartest thing.
[00:32:59]  It took, what, 300 years for somebody to figure that one out?
[00:33:03]  It's just like wheels on a luggage.
[00:33:04]  I was going to say wheels on a suitcase.
[00:33:06]  Why didn't they think of this?
[00:33:08]  That man died only a few years ago.
[00:33:10]  It was from Scarsdale.
[00:33:11]  No.
[00:33:11]  Are you talking about the windshield wipers?
[00:33:13]  No.
[00:33:13]  I'm talking about the man who developed...
[00:33:16]  Intermittent windshield wipers.
[00:33:18]  No.
[00:33:19]  The wheels on the suitcase.
[00:33:20]  No.
[00:33:21]  You're talking about the guy who had intermittent windshield wipers.
[00:33:23]  No, I'm not.
[00:33:23]  I'm talking about the man with the wheels on the suitcase.
[00:33:25]  I don't know if anybody invented...
[00:33:27]  Well, maybe.
[00:33:27]  Yes.
[00:33:28]  Somebody had a patent on it.
[00:33:30]  Yes.
[00:33:31]  It was from Scarsdale.
[00:33:33]  Check this out.
[00:33:34]  Somebody tells me...
[00:33:36]  When we go home, I'll be checking him out.
[00:33:38]  Maybe.
[00:33:38]  He died about five years ago.
[00:33:40]  He was like 90. He was from Scarsdale.
[00:33:41]  You keep saying Scarsdale.
[00:33:43]  Like, Scarsdale makes a difference.
[00:33:45]  No, because I remember the whole story thinking, wow, he must have made a lot of money from having the patent on...
[00:33:50]  Scarsdale.
[00:33:52]  Scarsdale died, doctor.
[00:33:54]  Herbin Tarnauer.
[00:33:55]  Shot by his girlfriend, his wife, no, what was her name?
[00:34:00]  She went to prison.
[00:34:03]  Yes.
[00:34:04]  He was Herman Tarnauer.
[00:34:07]  Her name was...
[00:34:10]  What was her name?
[00:34:11]  What was the woman's name who killed Tarnauer?
[00:34:13]  I know, but I can't because I'm doing this.
[00:34:15]  Remember the Stillman diet?
[00:34:16]  Yeah, look it up.
[00:34:17]  Virginia?
[00:34:18]  No.
[00:34:20]  Virginia.
[00:34:20]  What was her name?
[00:34:23]  Oh, she did.
[00:34:24]  He was pushing up daisies.
[00:34:27]  Happy Mother's Day to all.
[00:34:28]  Look at this.
[00:34:31]  Stepmoms and all that fill in this bit.
[00:34:33]  Absolutely.
[00:34:34]  There's all different kinds of moms.
[00:34:36]  I'm all for it.
[00:34:36]  And adopted.
[00:34:37]  And we all need to be moms to everybody.
[00:34:40]  We all need to help each other.
[00:34:42]  We don't have respect.
[00:34:44]  Hit.
[00:34:45]  Hit.
[00:34:47]  Microphone.
[00:34:49]  What was the name of the woman that was killed by or that killed Herman Tarnow from the Scarsdale diet?
[00:34:58]  Hit.
[00:34:59]  Go.
[00:35:01]  Gene Harris.
[00:35:02]  Gene Harris.
[00:35:03]  How could we forget?
[00:35:06]  Gene Harris.
[00:35:07]  Read that.
[00:35:08]  The woman who killed Herman Tarnow after the Scarsdale died was Gene Harris.
[00:35:13]  Former headmistress.
[00:35:14]  Headmistress, yes.
[00:35:15]  The dearest school for girls.
[00:35:16]  Remember that?
[00:35:16]  She also was convicted of second-degree murder for shooting.
[00:35:19]  Damn, I'm trying to read it.
[00:35:20]  I'm sorry.
[00:35:23]  That's her.
[00:35:24]  Let's go to Wikipedia.
[00:35:26]  She died in 2012.
[00:35:31]  How much?
[00:35:31]  This nice woman, she's a...
[00:35:33]  Okay, the guy's a flim-flammer, but, you know.
[00:35:37]  I cheated on her.
[00:35:38]  Right.
[00:35:39]  She was crazy.
[00:35:41]  You want to take a walk around the place?
[00:35:43]  Let's go.
[00:35:43]  I've got to move.

=== Loves Pine Cones (00:54) ===

[00:35:44]  Because you're getting stiff.
[00:35:46]  No, because I'm so comfortable and I never sit like this.
[00:35:49]  This is beautiful.
[00:35:50]  The smell of glass.
[00:35:52]  Come on.
[00:35:52]  Let's go.
[00:35:53]  Let's walk.
[00:35:53]  You want to walk with us?
[00:35:54]  Come on.
[00:35:55]  I walk around with this damn thing like a stick.
[00:35:57]  Look at the dandelions.
[00:35:58]  Oh, look, here's a little pinecone.
[00:36:04]  I love pine cones, you know that.
[00:36:05]  She loves pine cones.
[00:36:06]  I do, I love pine cones.
[00:36:09]  It's the little things that make her happy.
[00:36:10]  I do, I have like a little bit of pine cones.
[00:36:13]  I'm stiff!
[00:36:17]  You know, I may hit that baby before, we may be ending this one.

=== A List for Everybody (05:46) ===

[00:36:24]  You know, when you get to a certain age, I'm just saying, I'm just saying.
[00:36:29]  Look at this, I don't like this.
[00:36:31]  Yeah, this is not good.
[00:36:34]  No, no, no, no.
[00:36:35]  Not good.
[00:36:36]  Not good.
[00:36:37]  There's no excuse for that.
[00:36:40]  Porta-potties are good too, especially when they bake in the sun with the chemicals and they haven't been cleaned.
[00:36:47]  Yeah, smell the fun.
[00:36:48]  It's the smell of victory.
[00:36:49]  Oh, I'm so happy over there.
[00:36:50]  It smells like fresh grass.
[00:36:52]  It smells like fresh.
[00:36:53]  Like fresh grass.
[00:36:57]  Oh my God.
[00:36:58]  What is this?
[00:36:59]  I'd love it.
[00:37:00]  No, don't.
[00:37:01]  That looks like he's dead.
[00:37:03]  It looks like he fell and he's unconscious.
[00:37:06]  Let's keep going.
[00:37:08]  What if he's not okay?
[00:37:09]  Ooh, that's ammonia.
[00:37:13]  You can smell the uric acid.
[00:37:17]  See the fellow who's reading with his magnum?
[00:37:20]  That's good.
[00:37:22]  Here's something good for you.
[00:37:23]  Listen to this.
[00:37:24]  A late friend of ours did something which makes a lot of sense.
[00:37:28]  She used to wear...
[00:37:30]  You know those...
[00:37:31]  In the old days, when you would go to the dentist's office, they had these little clips.
[00:37:35]  You put them around your neck with the beaded...
[00:37:38]  The dentist has them.
[00:37:41]  They hold their little paper bin on.
[00:37:42]  So she puts your...
[00:37:43]  Well, they didn't put the lobsters.
[00:37:45]  Yes.
[00:37:46]  But she puts a regular napkin around it.
[00:37:48]  I thought that was brilliant.
[00:37:50]  I thought that was brilliant.
[00:37:52]  Totally brilliant.
[00:37:56]  Look at that little dog.
[00:38:01]  That's some serious training going on.
[00:38:03]  Is everybody having fun?
[00:38:04]  Are you enjoying this?
[00:38:05]  Are we still on?
[00:38:06]  How many people?
[00:38:11]  292.
[00:38:11]  Really?
[00:38:12]  That's serious.
[00:38:14]  Imagine, what are you doing?
[00:38:16]  We're watching these two people walk.
[00:38:18]  Why?
[00:38:19]  I don't know.
[00:38:20]  It's such a beautiful, the weather.
[00:38:22]  Look at this.
[00:38:24]  Huh?
[00:38:25]  Huh?
[00:38:27]  Oh, bells.
[00:38:28]  There's the bells again.
[00:38:30]  Oh, it's four o 'clock.
[00:38:31]  Oh, they should go four now.
[00:38:32]  You think?
[00:38:33]  Well, I don't know their system here.
[00:38:35]  I don't know their bell system.
[00:38:37]  There's Nitro Sprint over here, honey.
[00:38:39]  She's winded.
[00:38:40]  Good for her.
[00:38:41]  She's a little dog.
[00:38:44]  She is.
[00:38:46]  Bless her.
[00:38:46]  She's probably waiting on that drug deal.
[00:38:54]  Happy Mother's Day.
[00:38:56]  Bless her.
[00:38:57]  She's got little roses.
[00:38:59]  I don't know.
[00:39:00]  That could be a sensitive subject.
[00:39:02]  You know what?
[00:39:02]  You're right.
[00:39:02]  It was very rude.
[00:39:03]  You can't just say that.
[00:39:04]  Am I wrong?
[00:39:06]  No, but you can't just say that.
[00:39:07]  Am I wrong for saying that?
[00:39:08]  She's sitting there in her nitro sports.
[00:39:12]  She's all alone.
[00:39:13]  All alone, she's got flowers.
[00:39:15]  Was I wrong?
[00:39:16]  Maybe she went to church.
[00:39:17]  Church is going to have flowers.
[00:39:18]  If I'm wrong, vote yes.
[00:39:20]  If I'm right, vote no.
[00:39:21]  You can't just say that to women.
[00:39:24]  Was I wrong?
[00:39:25]  Here I am trying to be a nice guy.
[00:39:26]  I know, but...
[00:39:27]  And I'm being chided.
[00:39:28]  I'm being abraded.
[00:39:29]  Yes, husband.
[00:39:30]  I'm being excoriated.
[00:39:31]  I'm being execrated.
[00:39:33]  Husband, you...
[00:39:33]  Look at this.
[00:39:34]  Family phone.
[00:39:35]  Look at them.
[00:39:35]  How cute is that?
[00:39:36]  What is that?
[00:39:37]  I love it.
[00:39:38]  I don't know, but they're playing with the kids.
[00:39:39]  I love it.
[00:39:40]  Look at family time.
[00:39:41]  Look at these families.
[00:39:43]  They have this little gas-powered rocket that you step on.
[00:39:49]  You can judge it by the girth of mom.
[00:39:50]  She could put some horsepower behind that one.
[00:39:56]  A bunch of babies.
[00:39:57]  It feels like surgery.
[00:40:02]  See, you've got to imagine what we're seeing.
[00:40:07]  Not good.
[00:40:10]  Not good at all.
[00:40:11]  It looks like you could have a tumor or something.
[00:40:13]  Could be.
[00:40:14]  I feel that breeze.
[00:40:15]  Oh, summer breeze.
[00:40:17]  A little one getting away over there.
[00:40:20]  All kids want to do is run.
[00:40:22]  That's why.
[00:40:23]  You have to bring them outside and run.
[00:40:24]  And then you get older, and then you say, forget this.
[00:40:28]  Where am I running to?
[00:40:29]  What's the point?
[00:40:30]  In any event, I think we've had a lot of fun.
[00:40:32]  I think we should put an end to this.
[00:40:34]  You're probably...
[00:40:35]  Listen, we want to thank you...
[00:40:36]  We're charging these people enough.
[00:40:37]  We want to thank you for all of your love and your kindness as we perambulate, locomote, peregrinate about.
[00:40:48]  We really want everybody...
[00:40:49]  To have a mother's, and even if you're not a mother, you know, see now you got me wondering, should I say something?
[00:40:58]  No, it's a Sunday.
[00:40:59]  I want everybody to have a little relaxation.
[00:41:01]  It's four o 'clock already.
[00:41:02]  I want everybody just to forget about everything for a little bit, even if it's five or ten minutes, and just go out in the air or just put everything down.
[00:41:10]  Yes, the white range.
[00:41:20]  I think it's a drunk deal.
[00:41:22]  What do you think?
[00:41:23]  She's got her pusher.
[00:41:26]  I think she likes the bush with the flowers.
[00:41:29]  So she's on the phone describing leaves.
[00:41:32]  This is demented.
[00:41:34]  I don't have a bucket list.
[00:41:35]  This is called a shoot me list.
[00:41:36]  Have you ever seen me in a park describing leaves?
[00:41:38]  Do me a favor.
[00:41:39]  For all of us.
[00:41:40]  It's a beautiful kind of little tree bush.
[00:41:41]  It's a beautiful day.
[00:41:42]  Everybody needs to at least hear.
[00:41:44]  In the neighborhood.
[00:41:45]  Everybody needs to get out and relax.
[00:41:46]  What is that for you?
[00:41:48]  A weeping willow?
[00:41:48]  That's a weeping willow.
[00:41:49]  I love it.
[00:41:51]  Willow, will you weep for me?
[00:41:55]  That's dang me.
[00:41:56]  Roger Miller.
[00:41:57]  In any event, we love you.
[00:41:59]  I love you.
[00:42:00]  Love all everybody for listening.
[00:42:02]  I mean, watching us.
[00:42:03]  Happy Mother's Day.
[00:42:04]  Happy Mother's Day, everybody.
[00:42:05]  Have a great and glorious day.
[00:42:06]  Ta-ta.
[00:42:07]  Oh, and the monkey's dead and the show's over.
[00:42:10]  I'd sue you.