All Episodes
Previous Next
April 30, 2025 - Lionel Nation
55:10
The Lionel Nation NYC Walking Tour Is on Fire 🔥
|

Time Text
Dirty Man's Safe Bet 00:02:58
When uncertainty strikes, peace of mind is priceless.
Dirty Man Underground Safes protects what matters most.
Discreetly designed, these safes are where innovation meets reliability, keeping your valuables close yet secure.
Be ready for anything.
Use code DIRTY10 for 10% off today and take the first step towards safeguarding your future.
Dirty Man's Safe.
Because protecting your family starts with protecting what you treasure.
The storm is coming.
Markets are crashing.
Banks are closing.
When the economy collapses, how will you survive?
You need a plan.
Cash, gold, bitcoin.
Dirty man safes keep your assets hidden underground at a secret location ready for any crisis.
Don't wait for disaster to strike.
Get your Dirty Man safe today.
Use promo code DIRTY10 for 10% off your order.
Disaster can strike when least expected.
Wildfires, hurricanes, tornadoes, earthquakes.
They can instantly turn your world upside down.
Dirty Man underground safes is a safeguard against chaos.
Hidden below, your valuables remain protected no matter what.
Prepare for the unexpected.
Use code DIRTY10 for 10% off and secure peace of mind for you and your family.
Dirty man safe.
When disaster hits, security isn't optional.
Great folks have commented specifically on my, quote, walking tours and never anything on my political commentary or assiduous review of whatever the particular.
Story is.
So I am not going to question this.
I'm going to say, great.
This is actually kind of fun for me.
It's different.
And it allows me to kind of show you around and to discuss things as we speak.
So let me flip this baby around.
Let me make sure everybody is with us.
I have not really announced this.
I don't announce these ahead of time.
I just do them.
It's a beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, cool, crisp morning here in our nation's largest city.
We are on approximately the west side of Manhattan.
And I don't see anybody logging in.
Ah, I see one person.
So, I hope that before I begin, someone acknowledges that you are hearing me because, oh, I'm getting a stick.
Schmucks on 52nd 00:14:04
Yes!
Oh yes, I'm high-tech.
A stick that will allow me perhaps less bouncing, more...
Oh, there it is.
Great, great.
Are we coming in through?
Someone says, yes.
I like this.
Yes.
I don't know what yes means, but what are you going to do?
Great.
Five by five.
Let us begin with this, okay?
First and foremost.
This is the corner of 52nd.
And I love it.
This is the home of Comedy Central.
This is where these schmucks stand outside for reasons I don't know.
This is Jon Stewart, who was a big deal, and then he left to run a petting zoo in New Jersey or something to that effect.
And I...
I don't know why.
He just...
I think he's forgotten.
And I'm sorry.
And I...
I don't want to necessarily say this in a very mean way, but I am older than he, but he comes across to me like my grandfather.
I don't know what it is.
And if you notice the looks of these people with him, they are so monumentally clever.
They think they are so clever.
This, dear friends, is our little place called DeWitt Clinton Park.
Questions of the Kitchen of Hell, of Hell's Kitchen.
And I love this little tribute.
This is how old this place is.
A tribute to our doughboys, if that's what they're called.
Are we doughboys or yanks?
In any event.
From Flanders Fields, if ye break faith with those who die, we shall not sleep, though poppies grow on Flanders Fields.
I have no idea what this is.
It's obviously a reference point.
There's some people doing a variety of drugs in the corner over here.
This is the Clinton War Memorial here.
This is dedicated to the young men from the neighborhood who died in World War I. Is that something?
And of course we have the city kind of getting going.
I wanted to say that.
Or whatever it's worth.
Just wanted to bring you To speed.
Up here, I don't know if you can see this.
I don't want to...
This is the Irish Arts Council.
Very, very nice place.
I was all ready to go until they started giving me a bunch of grief about mask rules.
I think they've pretty much stopped that.
I think they have.
Or they've kind of, you know, come off that mask business.
I can't tell.
This, I love this.
This is McKinney Welding Supply.
Since 1943.
I don't know why this fascinates me.
Oh, do you see this right here?
These are called city bikes, or as we affectionately call them, shitty bikes.
And I find this fascinating.
This was put in during the Bloomberg administration.
And what it is, is I want you to notice this.
This was at one point a three, four lane street.
And look at this.
You have now this stupid bike, and a lot of people do use them.
One lane available only for traffic, and then the rest is parking.
And the reason for this is to destroy any kind of automobile movement in the line.
Now this is fascinating.
This is going to be a bit long-winded.
This is one of the places where all of the carriages are stored.
I hope you can hear me okay.
This is where all of the carriages are stored for Central Park.
This was quite a subject of debate.
Look at these marvelous little devices.
I'm going to show you something across the street first.
As you know...
The street peddlers and vendors, dirty water dogs, they will meet here in the morning.
Many of these hard-working folks who are from various countries, I don't know about this fellow here, but they prepare for their sumptuous New York City hot dog,
the dirty water dog.
It's not dirty, it's actually bathed and boiled in a broth of spices, in any event.
Look at these.
The smell of horseshit is something that I've always loved.
The tack smell, the leather.
Morning, sir.
Beautiful people.
This is the Clinton Park Stables Association.
This is where they have these, where the horses...
I guess meat or whatever.
With the horse's meat.
Did I say that?
I did say that.
Sometimes when you walk, it's interesting.
Your brain, I'm holding this device in my hand.
My brain and everything else disconnects.
Now a while back, there was a big debate whether this was somehow animal cruelty.
And one of the biggest purveyors, one of the biggest supporters of this, The handsome cabs, or whatever they're called, is or was, and still is, Liam Neeson.
Liam Neeson, from Ireland, of course, said that these horses are treated beautifully.
They are meant to and equipped muscularly and physically and skeletally.
They are made and allowed to do this.
Consequently, it is not...
And any wise torture or what have you.
This place to my left is one of the big fresh direct hubs.
And at any given day, they are working their ass off.
And who does this, of course?
Who is responsible for this?
Foreigners.
Migrants.
Legal, I trust.
This is, I think, this is the hustler club.
My friends, I was in the realm of criminal defense.
I had a lot of, every now and then, clients.
A couple of dancers and the like, who, I'm crossing, by the way, West Side Highway.
Again, if you hear a careening of tires, a screech, and a loud thud, it is me.
Anyway, I appreciate the First Amendment right that people have.
Look at this.
Kind of a quasi...
Colosseum-esque.
I don't know what you want to call it.
Depiction architecture.
But the idea of spending money to have some woman gyrate on you, pretending that she's aroused by you, I find disgusting.
The din of traffic, ladies and gentlemen.
We're looking uptown on the West Side Highway.
The Joe DiMaggio Park.
I don't know.
Now what is this?
This is where the ships dock.
Do you remember a while back the Comfort, SS Comfort or whatever that was called?
This is the ship that was supposedly going to save us from COVID, where the dead and the affected could be loaded.
Preferably if they were loaded.
We never saw anything.
The ship docked right there.
People...
I hate that.
People crossed the street, cheering and screaming and yelling.
All along here were Marines, Navy men and women doing their PT, their exercise and the like.
Now I'm crossing when it's safe.
I don't believe one COVID person was taken.
I don't believe one person was helped.
I don't believe any of it.
But we clapped like fools, like idiots, for reasons I shan't understand.
This is a very dangerous area.
Remember, if you come to New York, you will most probably die not by the hands of a thug, but by somebody on a bike.
We're now moving downtown on the West Side Highway in this beautiful little park area.
A veritable cacophony, ladies and gentlemen, a concatenation, a melange, a myriad, a pastiche, and a mystique.
Here we go.
This is where it was.
Can you see this?
This is where the, across the, that's the Hudson over there.
That's Jersey.
I don't know if that's Weehawka, or Edgewater, or who that was.
Up here, Musica.
La Musica Latina.
A lot of biking here.
A lot of activity.
One thing I will tell you, and this, I think, is so much better than the east side.
So, so much better than the east side.
But I've got to tell you something.
In a country and in a city that is rather torpid and rather lethargic and sedentary, there's a lot of activity moving here.
Again, to my right, this is where all the ships converge.
This has been part of the landscape of New York forever.
The big liners used to come here.
I think, if I'm not correct, if I'm not incorrect, I should say, the Queen Mary or something may have been here.
I don't know.
Titanic.
Who the hell knows?
But remember, in the 40s, the Normandy.
The Normandy was the ship.
That capsized.
And everybody suspected it was sabotage.
When in fact, it wasn't.
It was just a ship that capsized.
So Joe Sox Lanza...
By the way, I hope you're not hearing the bluster of...
How did we say this?
Yes, the SS Normandy.
So the ship capsized.
And people thought it was, of course, Nazi saboteurs.
But it wasn't.
So they went to Joe Sox, Lanza, who ran, I think he was Genevieve, I'm not sure, but he ran the docks, and they said, "Can you help us?"
And he said, "Yes, we can, but we have to work it out through Lucky Luciano, who was upstate in Dannemora."
Dannemora, I think, is now Clinton's home.
Again, remember, this wasn't sabotage, it wasn't anything.
And the mob at the time couldn't do anything to stop it.
But they didn't necessarily tell them about it.
So they made a deal.
Okay, if you can make this stop or help us stop this, we will let Lucky loose, so to speak.
Not release him necessarily free, but release him to be deported back to La Cara Frida.
Anyway, and the rest is history.
That was a boring story.
This is the glass house.
This is the glass house.
And people who live in glass houses, as you know, you know the rest of the story.
This is where I saw Robert Kennedy Jr. and Shmuley Botiach as Robert Kennedy was doing his public apologia to explain to the world that he wasn't anti-Semitic because he suggested that at some particular point there may be,
there may come the day When certain pathogens and certain viruses are genetically manufactured and tweaked to attack and to affect certain people.
Let me stop and read some of your comments.
Hoghead, why is it called Hell's Kitchen?
Great question.
If you ask people, to this day, they don't know.
The best answer I understand is if I believe.
Is that late 19th century, it was a very rough place.
This was bad.
In the 70s in particular, you did not want to come here.
But now it's, oh, multi-gazillion dollar apartments and the gentrification.
But at one particular time, there was a police officer who had a rookie.
And the rookie was being told how dangerous it was.
And the police officer, who I believe had a name, of course he had a name, but I think it was noted, said to this rookie, the only thing hotter than hell is Hell's Kitchen.
And that's kind of where you are now.
So hence the name.
There was some ridiculous story bandied about that.
It was Heil's Kitchen, a German restaurant, which is ridiculous.
Some of the best car washes here.
Donuts and the Intrepid 00:04:33
This one, I don't know if you can see this to your left.
To your left.
What the hell does that mean?
To my left, your right, whatever.
They used to serve donuts.
Donuts?
Yes.
Donuts as you either drove through.
I never tried this one.
But there are some great...
There are car washes in New York that you would think, I'm not bringing my car to this.
They're the best.
Now, coming up to your right is the famous Intrepid.
This is the Air...
And Sea Museum.
I don't know if you can see through that.
We'll get to that very shortly.
This is, oh, this is terrific.
Years ago, years ago, ladies and germs, the famous, the Westies ran the West Side.
The Javits Center, which is more, which is further down the road.
The Intrepid.
Anything on the West Side.
Any job.
Anything.
The theater union, stagehands, anything, had to go through the Westies.
The Kunin and Featherstone crew, etc., etc., so the story goes.
They made a deal where they united, by the way, State of Grace, with Sean Penn, interestingly enough, and Gary Oldman, probably one of the best depictions.
Of the Westerns.
Gary Oldman.
Oldman.
I think he's the second best actor next to Daniel.
No, take that back.
I think he's the best.
I think Daniel Day-Lewis might be second.
Coming up here, do you see a submarine?
That's right, folks.
An actual docked submarine, which I want to show you.
This is really a lot of, dare I say, fun.
We'll get to this in a moment.
Check that back.
I'll stop my movement here.
Isn't that interesting?
I cannot tell you how many times I've been on this, and I don't know why.
You see the old spy plane, similar to, I'm thinking, the Francis Gary Powers plane.
I speak out of turn, I don't know.
By the way, there was an old joke that said he was so stupid, he thought Vito Powers was an Italian spy pilot.
So you can figure that one out.
There we go.
Bigger, bolder, never before seen.
Now open the new permanent exhibition, the Intrepid Museum, located in Hudson River Park.
That's it, my friends.
Let me move over here.
Ah, yes.
There it is.
To this day, I will never truly understand.
How the ship does not tip over.
I know what you're going to say.
You're going to say ballast.
I understand it.
I can answer an essay test, but there we go.
Look at this.
Look at the size of that one.
How does it just not tip over?
How is it perfectly balanced?
How can it not?
Granted, it's moored.
You know, there was a time when they had to take this out.
To have it repaired.
And that was something to see, this thing moving down the Hudson.
Look at that.
Isn't that beautiful?
Think of the men, the history.
I think it took flak, or whatever the particular term is, during World War II from the Japanese.
We had a bit of a row with them, as you might recall.
Circle line.
Ah, yes.
Circle line.
My idea of the inner circle of Dante's hell is to be on a circle line for the rest of my life.
The circle line.
And there's all kinds of fairies.
That's F-E-R-R-I-E-S.
Please.
No homophobia here, ladies and germs.
But there are constantly these fairies back and forth.
Pier 84 Boathouse Tour 00:15:51
And this...
It's a tourist thing by the by.
I'm going to say something parenthetic.
It's a free country.
And you can wear whatever you want.
But why people, young women in particular, believe that it's now fashionable to walk around with their midriff, hanging out, this panis, this paniculus, this tenter-bellied spare tire.
I'm sorry.
I don't understand it.
I don't get it.
Makes no sense to me.
Pier 84 Boathouse.
I know I have no idea what this is.
Here, one of the seemingly innumerable men and people patrolling the area, doing something.
Let me give them a salute.
There you go, sir.
Thank you for your service.
I tell everybody that.
And they like it.
But they keep this pretty damn, uh, clean.
This area right here, is it here?
No, it's up here.
This is where they have fountains in the summer that spray children with dirty regenerated or recycled sewer water so they can branch it out.
I have a theory about that.
I know people here who...
Oh, see this?
Chuck Schumer was talking about it.
I'll finish my theory about that.
Chuck Schumer was talking about getting rid of helicopters after that tragedy.
Here we go.
Yes, right here.
This is the area where they have sprinklers and jets for kids too.
Again, I was going to say, George Carlin said that when he was a kid, they actually swam in either the Hudson or the East River.
With actual human waste floating about.
And he believes, and I think there's something to be said for that, that that toughened them.
They didn't need vaccines.
They didn't need any kind of immunosuppressant boost.
No, not suppressant, what I'm saying.
They needed no boosters because they were basically raised swimming in human waste.
Take that, Fauci.
Take that.
Are we having shortings coming?
Well, Schumer's knee-jerk.
Yes, yes.
Good, good, good.
A lot of fun here.
Let me tell you something.
Some of these ladies, you know, they talk about the fairer sex, but they are quite athletic, and I say it's about time, damn it.
I am not athletic.
My idea is a gym on some type of a little elliptical.
Here's a man who's paid to hold a stop sign.
That's it.
Now why he's pointing in that direction, I have no idea.
Who's coming from this direction?
Oh It
Probably unionized.
Makes a couple hundred grand a year.
Look at this.
If you're one of the spirited folks, you can try this.
The Beast.
Ladies and gentlemen, the Beast.
Don't know what this is.
Not Mr. Beast.
And for the life of me, I do not understand Mr. Beast.
This is the Beast.
And you're wondering, ah, the smell.
The smell of...
You might have, like, John's Pass.
You know, flauta.
Here we go, the Beast.
The rules before you ride.
Number one, you may get wet.
Thank you so much.
Number two, hold on to your hat.
Three, no food or beverages.
Four, it's extreme.
Due to speed and bumpiness, we cannot allow infants, pregnant women, people with heart conditions, back, or any other recent injuries on the vulgar.
Sit down and buckle up.
Number six, 40 inches or taller.
Children must be 40 inches tall.
Have fun and thanks for riding.
This is good too because the more warnings, the better.
Think about it.
Doesn't interest me in the least.
Can you see some little geoengineering trails over there?
Can you see this?
Maybe not.
I can't tell.
The dimmings.
Loads of boats.
Ah, you can smell.
All that people who are smoking cigarettes just talking to themselves.
Talking to themselves for no particular reason.
Going on and on.
Just talking.
Rambling.
Rambling incoherently.
Nothing wrong with that.
It's a free country.
It's a free country, my friend.
There's no reason for anybody to think that you have to be coherent or lucid.
Nothing in the rule book that says you have to know where you are.
Let's stop over here for a second.
This is the other side.
Again, the West Side Highway.
A lot of big...
Look at this.
Eat tacos on a boat.
Is that great or what?
It's not too catchy.
La Barca Cantina.
Eat tacos on a boat.
That's it.
Sorry for this bad panning.
My panning is pretty good.
I tend to do it very slowly as I move about.
I don't want people to think that I'm videotaping him, so I'm pretending like I'm one of these psychotic people talking to myself, which I am!
North River Lobster Company.
You know, I've not had lobster in, oh, I don't know how long, but I love a nice sea bug.
Isn't this something?
Look at this.
Who knew we need a bigger boat?
Remembering Roy Scheider, ladies and germs.
Eat lobster on a boat.
You notice the way they market things.
Eat tacos on a boat.
This one's called the lobster on a boat.
Mine's what's called throw up on a boat.
Over here, as you know, is a series of marine-themed bric-a-bracs.
Wakes with something styrofoam flotation devices for something God can do.
Look at this.
See, this is everywhere.
These little...
Close for you to attach to your whatever you want to call it.
Isn't that beauteous?
Isn't that something?
This was quite the activity.
Ah, bienvenidos.
I thought it tells you where this country is going, you know what I mean?
Ladies and gentlemen, I like signs that pop out of nowhere.
No motor vehicles.
Here?
Here?
Okay.
Eat taco on a boat.
Please, dismount.
Bicycles, skateboard scooters, please, dismount.
Violators may be issued a summons.
They're very interesting.
Now, over here is the Javits Center.
Ladies and Germans, I gotta tell you this.
This, this is it.
This is the Javits Center.
Named after Jacob or Jack Javits, a moderate Republican.
I believe he died tragically of ALS, but you see here, this is very interesting, the Javits Center took the bar exam here.
Thousands of people, thousands crushed.
Everybody had their IDs out on the table.
And I swear to God, There wasn't an American driver's license with Chinese passports.
I'm wondering, how do they know this?
Well, let me tell you about this.
One day, Mrs. L and I were watching TV, and it was during the COVID-mania.
Oh, here we go.
There's the ferry.
Again, folks, F-E.
This is where you go back and forth to Hoboken or Jersey City or wherever the hell it is.
It's a pretty decent trip, in any event.
Back to this.
So we heard this story about how ambulances were pulling up at the Javits Center.
The doctors were in a bound, dealing with the sick.
So we said, we've got to see this.
It was right during the Rona.
I mean, serious.
So we walked down.
It was nothing.
This is...
The 11th Avenue, or West Side Highway, there's no place for anything.
We went to the front, nothing there.
But they just told us on TV, on the news, that there were scores.
These are the ferry buses.
Let me stop.
This is fascinating.
These pick you up all over the city and drop you up at the ferry.
Again, F-E-R-R-1.
These people are lining up.
Ready to go into Manhattan from Jersey, looking thrilled to be alive.
Like cattle.
Is this all there is?
Is this all there are?
Ah, e-bikes.
The bane of my existence, ladies and germs.
Look at the look of excitement on their face as they begin their trudge, the slog, the drudgery.
as they move like cattle
Isn't freedom great?
This is something that is called art.
Don't know why.
But somebody probably paid a fortune for this piece of shit.
I don't know what this is called.
I think it's called a piece of shit.
Are we having fun, yes or no?
Give me a one.
Give me a five by five.
Just do something.
I'm doing this for you, mind you.
But to be honest, I get up in the morning, I can perambulate, I can locomotive out.
My sister even called me.
She said, I watch your walkabouts, as the Aussies call it.
Your walking tours.
That's it.
Somebody wants to hear about my thoughts on tariffs.
Trump's 100 days.
Eh, who needs it?
Check out these...
There are more people in this little swath of real estate.
More people than in some cities.
Right here.
Just people stacked atop each other.
Think about that.
Many of these places, by the way, empty.
Which I find very interesting, don't you?
Very interesting.
Exceedingly interesting.
I don't know how much more I'm going to...
If you're enjoying this, I'll do a little bit more of this.
Again, more people ready for their...
many for their...
looking at me like I'm demented, and for good reason.
Can't you see the look of excitement?
By the way, no earbuds.
No earbuds.
Mine are always tethered.
You're putting radiation in your ears on both sides of your head.
I think I'm going to...
Show you a couple more things and then that's it.
Huh?
Get your motor running.
Head out on the highway looking for adventure.
Whatever comes our way.
This is the Atlantic Star.
Of course, Mexican or Spanish music.
A lovely tune.
Cushions floating about.
Notice how expert I am with the nautical terms.
I really know my stuff.
I'm going to show you a couple of things here.
There's a great car club, which I think is rather interesting.
This is Starship Tours and Events.
Remember Starship?
We built this city knee-deep in the hoopla.
You know who wrote Knee Deep in the Hoopla?
I think it was Bernie Taupin, along with the usual folks.
A lot of sightseeing here.
Let me tell you, again, I'm not exactly a big fan of the sightseeing.
After five minutes on this boat, you say, I got it.
I understand.
The world's best ferry, ladies and gentlemen.
My vote for that would be Alan Seuss.
Ask your parents.
Can you hear the seagulls?
See that guy in the back with that little uni?
That is a death trap.
I would do a special...
Morgan and Morgan, are you injured?
Do you want to be injured?
Are you stupid enough to get on this goddamn thing?
This is a beautiful structure that I can't really figure out what it is.
Notice all the piers are numbered.
See, look at this.
This says, no bikes.
And this says, no walking, I guess, or no breakdancing, or no polka.
I'm not sure what that means.
No walking?
You don't want to...
No bikes and no walking.
Well, what the hell are we supposed to do?
I don't understand this.
Again, a lot of these, a lot of warnings that nobody ever pays attention to.
Let me show you.
This is Pier 76, as you can see.
Isn't this groovy?
Let me see if you can see that out there.
This is an event space.
I think that's what the kids call it.
Flags are at half-mast.
And I believe it's because of the Pope, perhaps?
Maybe?
We have the New York flag, New York City flag, and this one on the right, I don't know what that is.
I have no idea.
I'm going to go to the next one.
A lot of propellered themes here.
This is one I want to show you.
If you can still bear with me, if I'm not losing you, ladies and germs, if I'm not losing you.
I've been using that corny term too much.
You know, sometimes when people run, they look so painful.
I mean, God bless them.
But I just don't think humans should run.
Look at this, huh?
Imagine a big concert or something there, I guess.
Covered by nothing.
Kind of a...
Losing Power 00:12:51
I'm going to walk down there, but what's the point?
I want to show you something, because I'm losing out of power.
I ain't got no power, Kappam!
That's my attempt at Scottish.
This is a classic club car.
This is interesting.
This is a New York City, I guess...
I hope you can hear the seagulls.
A club?
This is the clubhouse and stable.
Members only.
Classic...
Classic car club.
Or club car, as I call it.
I don't know what they did.
I don't see any classic cars.
I think you could rent them.
I have no earthly idea.
It gets pretty boring down here.
You know what?
Let me go back.
Let me take you down to this park right now.
Let me take you down, because I'm going to Strawberry Field.
Nothing...
Sorry, I've never been a big Beatles fan.
I know, can you imagine me saying that?
How heretical.
Not to be a Beatles fan?
What's the matter?
You know, come to think of it, this looks exceedingly boring.
There's another propeller.
Let me tell you a couple of things before we get done.
I think I am in the wrong.
Ah, this is the walking area.
A stickler for detail.
There we go.
I want to do a show.
Listen to my idea.
I've always wanted to do a show called...
Pardon my French.
I don't want to...
I'm not normally profane, but the show is called Where the Fuck Are They Going?
And I will stop people randomly.
And ask you, excuse me, where the fuck are you going?
And we'll follow them.
Just one day we'll just follow somebody.
Because everybody is going somewhere.
They're on their way to do something.
Except for me and this guy here.
And I want to ask people, where are you going?
What are you doing?
Such pained expressions.
The sound of...
You know, that panting cannot be good for you.
And the reason why I say that is that we are bipedal.
We have two feet.
Quadrupeds are able to transition energy better.
Look at this.
The day you see me...
That's an interesting gait.
The day you see me wearing a parachute with a suit...
I hate that.
Give me a...
What is this?
I want to party with that guy.
That's all I want to know.
How are you?
What was I saying about running?
Ah, who cares?
You don't care.
Are you having fun?
I'd look at my phone, but I can't see because of the glare and the sun.
You know, I've been doing this YouTube thing for a long time.
And every now and then I'll say something.
Oh, that's good.
I'll go on various shows.
My good friend Natalie and Clayton on Redacted or Sean Atwood.
I'm booking a Charles Ortel coming up.
We're going to have him back on.
Oh, we.
What do you mean we?
It's me.
Then I've got Eric Thaddeus Walters the Great.
The great mind, the wit from Rome.
And people say, that's terrific.
And it is good.
They are great.
Great numbers, great response.
But I take a call, a phone, and I walk around.
And I just mumble nonsense.
Seriously.
Mumbling nonsense.
And people are saying, I love it.
That's great.
I'm thinking, this?
Yes.
Okay.
Next we're going to go to Central Park.
Oh, that's a good one.
I'll take you there next.
Maybe tomorrow.
If you want it, leave something in the comments section.
And don't forget, how do you thank me for this?
Pay me.
I don't make any bones about it.
Pay me.
All of us are doing it to be paid.
PayPal and Venmo and buy me a coffee.
Filipino Krugerrands.
I don't care.
Deutsche Mark, Bitcoin, bit shoot, poop shoot, I don't give a damn what it is.
If it has any value whatsoever, if it can be smelted or sold or pawned, I'll take it.
Why?
Because I'm in it for the greenback, the gold, the soldi, pecunia.
I get more people.
Excuse me, sir.
Where the fuck are you going?
I think it's a great idea.
This week we follow this guy.
We just pick somebody out of just randomly.
And you know what I found out?
People are pretty interesting.
Everybody's got a story.
Oh, can you see these garbage scows?
And from our window, I see some of the strangest vessels.
But I can't really make out what they are.
You know, trash and garbage and whatever.
But Hudson River, ladies and gentlemen, is quite the waterway.
Just think, you take this all the way to the top, you curve around where West Point was, where Benedict Arnold would pull the chain to thwart British ships.
The history here, you know what's really historic is New Jersey.
Unbelievable.
Unbelievable.
Something about people sitting and eating.
I'm a very quick eater.
If I take a sandwich or something, I see how much can I put in my mouth at one time.
Other people can sit and they take these little bird bites.
I don't do that.
You can't taste it.
You have to have a certain amount of acreage and square.
Meters of food per bite.
Oops, excuse me.
That taco's acting up.
But you have to have enough food to really enjoy it.
That's like potato chips.
Popcorn.
Handfuls.
Or is it hands full?
You decide.
Leave a comment.
That's what they always say on YouTube.
What do you think?
Leave a comment.
I don't give a shit.
Leave a comment.
Eat tacos on a boat.
That's some ad copy, folks.
La Barca.
We're going back, obviously, as you can see.
Look at this.
40 bucks.
Max to close.
Did you ever think there was this much activity here?
Seriously.
A lot of you folks, people love to trash New York.
I hate New York.
You ever been?
No.
No.
Why do you hate it?
Well, I don't hate it.
Yes, you do.
Well, I say I hate it.
Why do you say you hate it?
Well, because that's what I do.
I just say stuff.
Like Virginia's Euphraie.
They killed her.
How do you know that?
I don't know.
I just say that.
Do you have any information?
No.
Anybody tell you that?
No.
By the by, if anybody's interested, you know her husband wouldn't have gotten a penny from that.
Reported 15 million bucks or more.
Can you see the intrepid straight ahead?
I don't want to enlarge this because it...
There's something you don't hear too often.
I don't want to enlarge this.
Look at the planes assembled.
But in any event, I kind of keep an eye on them.
You know what else I would put my money on if I had to bet?
Fentanyl.
Oh, yeah.
See, she was going to have a lot of pain.
They were making her out to be a nut.
She was crazy.
Uh-huh.
Yeah, yeah.
And she was a lunatic.
Right, right, right.
So maybe she took something.
Oh!
She overdosed.
Let me tell you something right now.
Nobody overdoses on fentanyl.
It's a poison.
There's a woman sitting there.
Bless her heart.
She looks like her name is Madge.
Smoking a tarot.
With all of her belongings and a suitcase.
It makes me sad when I see people like that.
I really...
They don't hurt anybody.
They're not bothering anybody.
I don't know.
I would love to know what their story is.
What happened?
Again, waiting more lines.
My father used to always say, I don't want to wait in the line.
Why?
If you're in the military, you hate lines.
I said, yeah.
I think there's probably more to dislike about the military.
I would imagine.
I don't know.
Waiting for the circle line.
Look at the backpacks.
The omnipresent backpacks.
This man here making sure nobody stops.
This is his job.
He has on 12 helmets and a sign that says stop.
I want you to understand something.
We're not kidding around here.
Don't even think about coming here.
Don't even think about it.
Again, stop.
Stop.
Don't go here.
Don't think.
Another man.
Stop.
In the name of love.
There we go.
See the intrepid?
Isn't that something?
Imagine those Japanese bastards.
Excuse me.
Not the current Japanese bastards.
The World War II zeros.
What a terrible name for a...
I don't think they named it that, but...
What are you?
I'm a Zero.
I'm a Spitfire.
I'm a Mustang.
What are you?
I'm a Zero.
There was this great comedian years ago, I don't know who it was, who said that the way Japanese soldiers were always depicted in planes during combat, during dogfights.
They would have the American soldier, great engine, Rolls-Royce engine, you know, Dana Andrews, flying, and their cockpit, the actual canopy was open, and there was no wind,
no nothing, and they could talk on some kind of an intercom with the Japanese soldiers, or pilots, which I thought was odd.
And you would see...
This terrible, filthy, disgusting, angry Japanese pilot.
Okay, thank you, doodle dandy.
And their plane was terrible.
There were zeros.
Bucket of bolts, loud noise.
But the American plane, smooth.
German even worse.
No racism there, ladies and gentlemen.
None whatsoever.
Manhattan, mini-storage.
Straight ahead.
Can you see the construction?
More of these.
See that little finger of building?
Ugly.
Do you know that these are hundreds of millions of dollars per either floor or unit.
Bought by oligarchs around the world as money havens.
1984.
Do the math.
Yes, there are.
But they're empty.
Completely, totally empty.
And what's interesting, what I find interesting is that when you get to that height, not height, but that height, there's no cell phones.
Why Languages Matter 00:06:04
No cell reception whatsoever.
None.
Nobody knows who lives there.
Nobody lives there.
A hundred million dollars?
For what?
And they're all over the place.
Look at these, see?
Can you see this?
You can see this triangular, this pyramidal top.
That's the World Plaza.
That's where the original, well, one of the original Madison Square Gardens were.
Now look at that beauty, huh?
Look at that beautiful, beautiful.
Keeping America safe.
And I mean it.
World War II was a different story, ladies and germs.
I don't know any Vietnamese or Viet Cong who ever had my First Amendment rights in his crosshairs.
I guess theoretically, but that was a generation.
And we're still trying to figure out what happened.
We're still trying to figure out.
Now think about that.
We're not really sure exactly.
So, Pearl Harbor, did we know about Pearl Harbor?
Was that a surprise about Pearl Harbor?
I don't know about Pearl Harbor.
Not sure.
So if we're still debating that, how much do you think we know about, oh, I don't know, Iraqi freedom?
Now, is this a perfect design?
Somebody somewhere said, I'm going to bend this.
I'm down to 20%.
I'm doing all right.
I hope you've enjoyed this.
Languages?
I hear languages.
Of sounds.
In my CVS, there's a sign that says, if you need an interpreter for the following languages, let us know and we'll get one.
I don't know why you need this to get some rectal litch cream, but if you do, and I never realized there were that many languages.
It's just incredible.
The heterogeneity of this place is like nothing you can imagine.
And that's a good thing.
Leave a comment.
Later on, I'll read your comments.
All I ask is that you be relatively civil.
Be nice to each other.
Don't argue with each other.
Don't be a prick.
That's all.
You would think of something called social media, but have so many anti-social people.
I don't understand that.
I really, honest to God, I do not understand that.
I have nothing but love in my heart.
Look at this guy here.
Is that great or what?
Can you imagine him just hitting something?
That's about, what, 20 miles an hour?
Who knows?
And those e-bike engines or batteries, they're known to just blow up.
For no particular reason.
Very, very dangerous.
Bicycle helmets?
No way to wear one without thinking of this sound.
That's terrible.
In high school, what...
This is terrible.
My friend.
My friend.
Oh, God.
Scott.
His favorite joke was, he goes, what's Helen Keller's dog's name?
Terrible.
Not even funny.
Did you ever see her dog?
She didn't either.
Terrible.
Horrible.
Why was her cane yellow?
Her dog was blind too.
Disgusting.
How did she burn her fingers?
Trying to read the waffle iron.
Terrible.
How did her parents punish her?
Rearrange her furniture.
By the way, Manson did that.
Supposedly.
Helen Keller jokes.
Have we stooped to that level?
Have we?
Have we gotten that low?
Leave a comment.
Well, anyway, my friends, I don't want this thing to poop out in the middle of my brilliant dissertation.
Let me tell you the following, okay?
Listen carefully.
I want to thank you.
I hope you've enjoyed this.
I had a nice little constitutional.
I'm walking out here.
I love this.
Leave a comment.
Do you want more of this?
Leave a comment.
Do you want less of this?
I can't help you with that.
But if somebody had told me, seriously, that this would be popular?
Well, compare, look, I'm no Mr. Beast, and I don't want to be.
But I would have thought, why is this interesting?
But it is.
So if it is, that's great.
Leave a comment.
I'm going to be doing more of this.
I want to thank you.
Let me remind you to follow Mrs. L at Lin's Warriors.
I'll be doing a live later.
I don't know.
I'm not really sure.
Let's see how this goes.
In any event, my dear friends, I want to thank you for your support.
Thank you for your patronage.
Thank you for your love.
Thank you for your contributions.
I can't see who did what.
I really...
You know what?
We love each other.
You know you love me.
Something like Sally Field.
You know you do.
You love this.
And so many of you have met other friends talking about this.
Hey, Harold.
Hey, you know.
Whatever.
And that's wonderful.
It's very interesting.
And despite the fact that there's certain words we can't say, lest we be removed to internet oblivion.
In any event, my friends, thank you so much.
Have a great and a glorious day.
We will see you later.
I thank you for this, and don't forget these final words.
The monkey's dead.
The show's over.
Sue you.
Export Selection