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March 29, 2025 - Lionel Nation
01:18:18
GOODBYE TSAHOLES: The Government Agency Americans LOVE to Hate Is on the Chopping Block!
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When disaster hits, security isn't optional.
Every now and then something happens that I think, yes.
I want to tell you about a little thing that happened about a group of people called the TSA Holes.
And these are individuals who are Federalized skycaps who were enlisted and coordinated and gathered, amassed after, dare I say, after the 9-11 story.
And they took over when we were crazy and nuts after 9-11.
It was one of my glory days in terms of being a righteous civil libertarian as I am.
I went berserk during this when the TSA holes were picked and selected and brought on board.
It was the worst thing I ever saw in my life.
And nobody saw it.
And yet again, as this was happening, and I was telling people about it, they looked at me like, what are you talking about?
There you go again.
There you go again.
You with your, you know, your rights and everything.
Would you stop always ruining our fun by talking about your rights?
The hell with your rights.
Couldn't believe what I was hearing.
Couldn't believe what I was hearing.
And it just continues to blow my mind.
Okay.
So, it turns out now that some Republican Congress people will talk about this.
Are going to consider disbanding the TSA and how this brings me such elation.
Because let me tell you something.
If you want to see the TSA in action, go to an early flight.
Let's say early morning at JFK.
Just go to the Jeff Blue Corral and just see the attitude of the TSA.
And not the people who just stand there.
You'll look at these people and say, what are you doing?
What are you saving us from?
We're going to be talking about that, and also going to be talking about this woman by the name of Alina Haba, and why that matters, why that's important, why that's critical, why that is of interest.
So, I'm so glad you could join us on this Friday night.
We're going to be talking about some very, very serious things.
But in a lighthearted and jocular way.
In a jocose manner, as it were.
So sit back, my friends.
Get ready.
We're going to have a wonderful time.
Thank you so much for joining us.
Please, please make sure you are subscribed to Lionel Nation because for some reason, some people find themselves unsubscribed for reasons I don't understand.
And until then, my friends, I want you to listen very closely to this.
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I'm going to talk to you first about a woman named Alina Haba.
Now, I'm telling you right now that I have no direct insight into this, but I do think I know kind of sort of what's happening.
I think I know what's happening, and I think I'm kind of getting what's happening here.
I think I am.
I think I'm correct.
By the way, a little heads up, tonight at 9.30, those of you who are Lionel Nation member fans, I did one of the best interviews with a fellow named John Kiriakou.
He is a CIA.
He was an ex-CIA.
An agent, a whistleblower, who spent like 30-something months in federal prison for basically telling the truth.
But I interviewed him in a way that nobody has.
You may have seen him before, but nobody does it like this.
Nobody.
I'm telling you right now.
It's an interview that will forever change your life.
Plus, make sure you check out the Howard, the King of Cringe.
The Howard Stern piece.
Which I think is just wonderful.
Anyway, so much for that.
Let me tell you, my friends, what I love about the biz, and that is image and message.
It's what I want to get across.
Image and message.
What image, what message?
Good question.
Glad you asked.
The president, and by the way, M.R.O.
Lavon says, Suggestion, please adopt the pronunciation used by Major General Retired G.D. Bakshi when he speaks of the Houthis.
Okay.
Thank you, sir.
Now, I think one of the two best people I think are the most interesting, Susie Wiles and Caroline Leavitt.
Caroline Leavitt, to me, is just perfect.
Mom, young, just a mere 27 years old, mind blown here, ladies and gentlemen.
Mind blown.
And she wears very nice clothes, very conservative.
She's a mom, wears a cross, love it.
Never salacious, never slutty, never, and I mean it, never.
I despise that.
If you want to be, if you want to work for a, you know, a TV, whatever, not TV, but Movie company, or if you want to go on TV, fine, that's up to you.
You want to do OnlyFans?
That's up to you.
Knock yourself out.
But if you want to work for my president, you better act respectful and dress accordingly.
And that is something which I, because I have absolutely positively, I would call out Kristi Noem for wearing the $60,000 Rolex watch on a raid.
I think...
Pam Bondi presents her.
I'm sorry, women have a different world.
But Alina Habba?
No.
Alina Habba wants to be the star and sexy and I will bet anything.
And I have no reason to believe this other than my intuition.
No reason to believe what I'm saying other than just my gut feeling.
Nobody told me this.
I don't have any inside information.
But I would not be surprised if Susie Wiles said, get her out of here.
Because she was Trump's lawyer.
And she's very smart.
She's very good.
But if you really want to see her in action, see her when she was the president's lawyer at that New York, Madison Square Garden event.
Remember that?
She had this special, fancy, you know, sparkly jacket.
She wanted to show you how sexy she was if she's out there.
Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.
Now, I am not a prude.
I'm talking about the President of the United States.
You must comport yourself in a particular way.
And I realize she's going to be a problem.
Then there was another one, too, where she was going to be, she was elected the President's Counsel or something.
And she had this picture, kind of that Vogue look, jacket.
I thought, this is going to be a problem.
Well, guess what happened?
You're going to be the interim, and maybe perhaps permanent, I don't know, U.S. Attorney for New Jersey.
And you're going to go to Newark.
And she said, what?
You're going to go to Newark?
I'm going to go to Newark?
No, no, no.
No, I'm going to be here in Washington.
I'm going to be near you.
No.
We want you to go to Newark.
Be the head of the U.S. Attorney's Office.
Chris Christie was there.
Samuel Alito was in that position.
And she's thinking, oh, that's not, that's, there's something glamorous about that.
I'm going to be, I'm going to be like Kimberly Guilfoyle.
I'm going to be Forgotten!
I don't know if you're going to come back.
I don't know.
It's interim.
Why is that the way it is?
Again, I have no reason to say this.
No reason to suggest this.
Other than my own intuition.
I'll bet you anything that Susie Wiles said, uh-uh.
This is trouble.
Move her out.
If you want her, that's fine.
But move her out.
So she's going to be now in Newark.
Which is a nice place.
She went from...
You know, she went from working in the White House, working with whatever, to Newark.
And he was attorney's office, which is, you know, pretty good.
Wow.
Elise Stefanik.
She was going to be the head of the UN.
The ambassador, excuse me.
And she kind of knew I mean, it was kind of a shitty thing.
The U.S., I mean, you go there, you can be Gene Kirkpatrick, you can be Daniel Patrick Moynihan, you can be...
Remember Biden's?
No, of course not.
And she thought, okay.
So Trump supposedly said no.
Now, why they didn't think of this before, I don't know.
I don't know this.
But if she were to step down, then Kathy Hochul gets to pick a replacement.
A Democrat.
And the margin is too slim.
So he said, forget it.
I don't want you to do that.
So that's the story with that.
The president...
Here's my official...
I'm going to go back to my regular Lionel Merch mode.
But this is...
Mrs. L got me this at the...
This is 47. This is the 47 mug.
She's going to be talking to you, by the way.
Regarding her findings and the like.
Okay.
Now...
How many of you fine people have ever been groped, fondled, felt up by a TSA person?
How many?
How many of you fine and great and wonderful people have ever been someplace, been in an airport, and somebody, you don't know who these people are, are all of a sudden, especially if you're a woman, being fondled by Some person from some TSA hole who is doing this.
And you're thinking to yourself, what the hell is this all about?
Who are these people?
What are they looking for?
Tell me what they're looking for.
Well, we're looking for bombs.
Bombs?
Have you found any bombs?
No.
You haven't found any bombs?
No.
So what's the purpose of this?
Well, we're just trying to do the right thing.
You're trying to do the right thing.
What are you looking for?
Well, we're looking for people who might find themselves in the position of perhaps maybe bringing in a bomb.
And who are you stopping, by the way?
Who are you stopping?
Well, tell me.
Who are you?
Aunt Bea over there.
Aunt Bea?
Yeah.
That woman there who looks like Bea Benaderet or Frances Bouvier?
You're making...
What are you doing?
Well, we're just doing that.
Why are you doing that?
Why?
Well, because we're...
Do you think this is Al-Qaeda?
Do you think she's Al-Qaeda?
Do you?
No.
Well, why are you bothering her then?
Why are you making Aunt Bea take off her shoes?
Why are you doing that?
Well, tell me.
Why are you doing this?
This is the most incredible thing in the world.
It drove me nuts.
It drove me crazy.
And nobody said anything.
People were taking off their shoes.
Then you couldn't have certain shampoos in certain sizes.
You could have them, but they had to be in clear plastic, or the bags had to be this size or that size, and they changed every week because Al-Qaeda was going to get Aunt Bea or Nonna and have her slip some kind of a bomb.
Remember the shoe bomber?
That ridiculous story?
So right now, which I think is terrific, in a bold move to streamline airport security and reduce bureaucratic overreach, Republican Senators Mike Lee of Utah and Tommy Tuberville of Alabama have introduced,
ladies and gentlemen, legislation which warms my heart aimed at dismantling the transportation security I thought it was safety.
T.S. A-holes.
Federalized skycaps in favor of private security firms.
This initiative aligns with President Donald Trump's ongoing efforts to cut down on government inefficiency through Doge.
I love to see that Doge, of course, led and stewarded by Senator Lee has been a vocal critic of the TSA, highlighting its numerous inefficiencies, advocating for a return to private security models that prioritize effectiveness and customer service.
He argues that the TSA has become a bloated, engorged kind of bureaucracy that infringes on civil liberties without delivering Concomitant or commensurate security benefits.
We don't know what it's for.
And so by this transitioning and changing into private security, Senator Lee believes airports can implement more adaptable, more responsive, more lucid security measures tailored to specific needs and not this crew.
Have you seen this crew?
And if you don't think DEI is alive and well, look around.
Senator Tuberville echoes Senator Lee's sentiments.
Emphasizing the importance of accountability, efficacy, efficiency, rational thought, trying to get the bad guys in security operations.
And he points out, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, that several airports have already successfully integrated private security firms under TSA's screening partnership program.
And this demonstrates the viability of his approach.
So, Tuberville says that expanding this model nationwide could enhance security outcomes while reducing taxpayer burden.
Isn't that great?
Makes sense to me.
And the legislative push, listen to me very carefully, this push is part of a bigger, broader Republican strategy to reevaluate, reform, and change federal agencies that have expanded their reach.
Beyond whatever the Mandis were initially.
And TSA critics, of which I'm one, have long pointed out to its high cost, frequent security lapses, and its intrusive and stupid and fondling screening procedures as indicators.
Not only that, if you don't go through the groping and the grabbing, you go through these ridiculous, you have the backscatter ionizing radiation tube, and the other one is the short, It's been a while, a short meter or something.
If you expose your head, they found out that there were cancer clusters.
I think it was O 'Hare or Boston, where people who stood by these machines were having lymphatic, you know, nodules and not good at all.
So, and this is important, as we see what's happening right now, And as we're paying attention to what's happening, many people are saying, we're going to change things the way it should be.
Now, when this happened, I remember I was doing so many commentaries, I became obsessed.
I said, how can you allow this to happen?
And they said, but it was 9-11.
I said, we're losing ourselves at 9-11.
If you thought COVID was bad, you remember how bad we were with 9-11.
I said, how many bombs have you found?
None.
What's the purpose of this?
Nobody knew.
This is when I realized, oh my God, we've got problems.
We live in a world where people are just allowing themselves this subjugation to the point of, I don't even know what the words are.
I want to tell you one particular story, and I'll never forget this one.
And this is just from memory when I tell you this.
I really don't know the actual specifics of it, but this is from memory.
I'll never forget this.
There was a man who had a urostomy.
He had a, just like a colonoscopy, a colostomy.
This was a urostomy.
It was a bladder versus the ilium or the colon or whatever.
And he...
That's attached to, the stone was attached to a bag, a catheter bag, the reservoir, to catch urine, and that's kind of the process behind this.
Well, what happened was, interestingly enough, they took this poor man, and they stopped him, they grabbed him, they did whatever that was to him.
And he said, please do me a favor.
All I ask you, all I ask you is do not jiggle or wiggle or change or this stoma, this part that attaches to it because I could lose all this.
The bag was kind of full.
Just please be careful.
They didn't care.
He had to drop his pants.
At some point.
And we have problems, Captain, as the sub imploded.
That's right.
That's right.
That terrible, awful thing.
Raul says, my pants almost fell down when I took off my belt.
Yep.
Let me see what happened to this one.
This fellow, his pants dropped.
You know what?
That's exactly.
Come to think of it, you're correct.
Took off his belt, his pants dropped.
There was something jiggling.
And the catheter, the bag that was filled with his urine, because it's a reservoir, spilled into the crotch part of his pants, which were down where they fell.
They kind of laughed.
It wasn't a finger-pointing, mocking laughing, but they sort of laughed.
And he had to waddle across, waddle, across the tarmac, or not the tarmac, the concourse, to his flight.
Crying.
Humiliated.
And all they said was, just be careful.
He sat in his own urine.
And when I read this, I just thought to myself, this is absolutely horrible.
I've seen women grabbed and felt.
I love when they say, I'm going to take the back of my hand and I'm going to rub your breast with the back of my hand.
Excuse me, who are you?
Last week you were working at Jiffy Lube and now you're a federalized skycap.
Now let me tell you the way they do it in another place.
I know we, a lot of Israel talk, people go, oh Israel, Zionists and all this.
But they do know security.
They have LL.
Now granted, it's a smaller country.
They have fewer flights.
They can do this.
But let me tell you what happens when you go there.
And what I saw firsthand was there twice.
It was with a group.
And I was going to meet my fellow compatriots.
I didn't have any of the information.
They had all the information, all the flight stuff.
And we were all part of it like a group.
So it was in Newark.
And I said, get out of the plane.
Get out of the air.
Before I even get anywhere near The desk.
This guy comes up.
And he's got a suit and he says, and he has an accent.
He's Israeli.
And he says, I have been trained to detect deception.
Look at me.
Look into my eyes.
I said, what are you, Dracula?
I'm just kind of kidding.
He didn't understand the joke.
I said, okay.
Look into my eyes.
Just talk to me.
Okay.
Where are you going?
I said, Israel.
Where?
I said, well, it's the Ben-Gurion airport.
I didn't even know if it was Tel Aviv or Jerusalem.
I don't know.
I said, I think.
I said, you see that woman over there?
She has all the information.
I really don't know.
You don't know?
I said, no, I don't know.
Where are you staying?
I said, The David, not the King David, the David Citadel, I think it was the Citadel?
I don't know.
I said, if you ask that woman, I don't ask the woman.
How long are you going to be there?
I said, oh shit.
Four days?
I didn't know anything.
I said, I hate to keep telling you this, but she has all the information.
And they're all kind of looking at me like, why are they...
What are you going to be doing there?
Looking around, I guess.
He says, are you going to the hotel?
It's either the hotel or the hotel.
And that's the Wailing Wall, right?
C-H-O-T-E-L.
And I said, I told you, I don't know the name of the hotel.
He goes, no, not the hotel.
It was kind of like, almost like Abbott and Costello.
So finally he says, okay, you can go.
I said, I've got to ask you a question.
Why'd you do that?
Tell me what you did.
He says, well, first of all, he said, I stopped you here.
I don't let you get over there.
If you do have something on you, which you could theoretically activate it here, I don't want you near other people.
I want to get you when you're not...
I don't have to wait until you get to the...
I know where you're going.
Nobody's going to be in this area.
You're heading towards the gate, you know, the counter.
I said, what about my answers?
He says, oh, you're fine.
You didn't know anything.
I said, but isn't it about him?
He goes, no, I can tell.
You really, you know.
I said, well, what are you looking for?
He said, well, first of all, do you profile?
He says, oh, yeah.
Oh, absolutely.
Oh, absolutely.
Well, the WEF says, TFA is not going away.
Take it easy.
Take it easy, DWEF.
Take it easy.
Everything was there in place to control.
Docile populists and see how far they can push them in a slaughterhouse, a.k.a.
radiation booth.
Take it easy, Dweff.
Take it easy, buddy.
We're going to make it.
We're going to be alright.
We're going to be okay.
We're going to be okay.
Take it easy.
I just read to you.
I just read to you the legislation.
I just read this to you.
They're already doing it.
Everything was there in place to control the...
Okay, I understand it.
I understand.
Take it easy.
Take it easy.
Relax.
Yes, you're right.
There's cattle and...
Yes!
Yes!
We don't know.
We're going to get to the bottom of this.
Okay.
Now back to this.
So, I said, let me ask you a question.
The guy was really interesting.
I said, do you ever profile?
He says, oh yeah.
He said, well...
I said, well, do you ever stop people who look Arab?
He says, oh yeah.
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
Without a doubt.
Is that legal?
He said, well, why would I stop somebody?
Think of this.
Want to be popular?
Renew profiling within the law.
Well, profiling, as you know, the drug courier profile, we use profiling, but for different reasons.
But anyway, it's very interesting.
So as we're talking, I said, well, if somebody looks, he goes, oh yeah, I listen to them.
I'll speak Arabic to them.
Oh yeah, absolutely.
And I said, well, are you, what about What about the stuff you're carrying on the plane?
You know, the suitcase goes, oh, that's no problem.
That's covered.
You're not going to put anything in there.
We got that absolutely taken care of.
100%.
That's not a problem.
Really?
Absolutely.
Okay, I didn't know that.
I said, well, what is your goal?
He says, we want to find out why are you coming into our country?
You're not going to carry anything.
We're going to get that.
And you're not going to have anything in your shoe.
They had this thing for the first time.
Have you ever seen this thing where they blow the puff of air?
Have you ever seen that?
They blow this puff of air.
It's beautiful.
Have you ever seen this?
It's wonderful.
And you ask yourself, what is the story behind that?
You know, why is it?
And it's the idea that it, how do I say this?
It allows them to blow or to puff any kind of particulate matter or anything on you that might be a problem.
It's fascinating.
And when you walk in, it's at eye level, so you get this boat and people are doing like this.
Because they don't know what the hell this stuff is.
It's fascinating.
So anyway, as we're doing this stuff, we're going through this and we're listening.
I think it was a 747.
I don't know.
It was a while back.
It was a big plane.
And it was forever.
I think we were all taking Ambien at the time.
I mean, it was like, Jesus God, it was the longest flight you can imagine.
Oh, I...
I said, I will never want to do this again in my life.
You understand this?
Okay.
So there was this one guy who was sitting there and he was drinking like a tab with Hebrew language.
It was like an Israeli tab and he was sitting straight up.
The guy never blinked.
He was this guy, Marshall.
Duh, but I found out later he goes, yep.
I said, he's pretty obvious.
Oh, we want him to be obvious.
Absolutely.
But he said, we want to know why you want to come into our country.
You don't care about your luggage.
So I told him, I said, what about Aunt Bea and the shoes?
He goes, that's terrible.
Nobody made me take my shoes off.
He goes, your shoes are fine.
It's just not going to happen.
We profile.
We know who people are.
Remember the actual, how do I say this?
What was it?
The shoe bomber.
Oh, I got to tell you this story.
This was one of the funniest things ever.
Not only, not only do people, to get a job at the airport, looking at and reading the scanners or watching the scanners, it's very, very, very funny.
Expensive.
Not expensive, but lucrative.
But also, there's a waiting list.
So what they always do is, sometimes they'll call people from the airport or whatever, and they'll say, would you try to put something on this plane?
Would you...
Yes, he had...
Remember that Matthew's right.
There were handlers who brought him on.
Guys with suits.
Okay.
So later on, make a long story short.
They're told that the people are told, we're always trying to slip something past you.
Always.
So be on the lookout.
We'll get somebody, some person to try to, not a real explosive, but something that looks like, or something that should be stopped, to see because there's this waiting line.
And if you don't get it, you're off.
We'll put somebody else in there.
So they're very, very paranoid.
And very, they watch those things because they're not about to lose this job.
I mean, any kind of anything, any gradation, anything.
What kind of shadows?
What is that there?
What is that there?
That's what they do.
Okay, fine.
Now, we were with a woman who said, I want to get a challah bread, you know, for the challah bread, the bread and a knife and the whole bit.
And we're looking for it.
Where do you get this?
Where do we buy it?
Okay.
She couldn't find it.
So at the last, like almost on our, like we're almost on our way to the airport.
We stop someplace and she gets this board with the knife and she puts it on her carry-on.
I can't believe what I'm seeing here.
Nobody knew it.
We didn't know it.
They didn't know it.
Of all the places.
And this hollow knife is like this long with serrated and, I mean, anyway.
So here's this guy sitting here looking at this, these bags going by.
And he's looking at one shadow after another.
He's looking at one, one circular thing after another.
He's looking at one big, oh my God, this is the most boring guy I've ever done.
But I'm not going to let this thing, I'm not going to let anything get in the way of this job.
No way.
No way they're going to pull something on me.
No siree.
And then all of a sudden, here comes this knife.
It lights up.
It's metal.
It's this long.
You can see this.
You can almost read the grains of oil.
And he looks at this.
And they stop us.
He calls these people over.
Now the fellow who was doing it thought somebody was ribbing him.
They said, Do you think I'm stupid?
This is what you're doing?
Do you think I'm going to fall for that?
He goes, no, no.
Do you think I'm going to fall for that?
I don't think this is the worst thing.
He was so pissed off, not at us, but that he thought it was a joke.
Are you stupid enough to put a knife through?
I can tell shades of...
Anyway, so they pull her friend over and she was absolutely flummoxed.
And they go, don't worry, go.
Because they knew she didn't mean anything.
She's not going to attack the pilot with a hollow knife.
It ain't going to happen.
Thomas Almey says, I feel obligated to say, one love, baby, choo-choo.
Well, thank you so much.
I appreciate that.
I really do.
So anyway, but they have a very, very different thing about the way they conduct.
Security.
Who is going to take a plane over?
Now, they have this new thing.
They used to have this other device or this procedure where they would shut.
You know how they have those big revolving doors where you put like four people in your luggage and they swing around?
They can lock those so you can't get out.
That was one of our listeners tried to say.
Do you know?
Do you understand?
The reason for this.
Do you understand that immediately after 9-11, his name was Michael Chertoff.
Chertoff's company that he lobbied for.
He was the head of Homeland Security.
His company that he lobbied for, lo and behold, the next day, I think it was Rappascan.
Rappascan.
In every airport, they were there immediately.
And then Aldamato was the representative or the lobbyist for the competitor.
Overnight.
Absolutely.
Positively.
Overnight this happened.
It was the greatest thing I've ever seen in my life.
Now, as someone said before, do you think this is for purposes of exacting control?
Yes.
Do you think it was to teach people?
Yes.
Do you think it was designed to teach us kind of, not a herding mentality, but the fact that we're cattle?
Yes.
And you're probably going to ask the question, why?
Well, after this, I will tell you why.
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Thank you, Matt and Tina.
Matt and Tina says, TSA took my bottle of Jack Daniels.
It was the most ridiculous thing in the world.
Now, somebody asked before.
What do you think the reason is then?
Is it to acclimate us?
Yes.
Is it to break our will?
Absolutely.
Is it to put us through this?
Yes.
Absolutely.
The best thing for you to do is to have private security.
Private security that is bidding on this will get the right people.
And they will have the best people.
And they will sit and they will watch.
And they will look.
And they will say, you, come here.
You, come here.
I'm not going to stop an 85-year-old black woman going to Disney World with a grandkids.
She's not going to do it.
I know Al-Qaeda is pretty sharp.
But let me ask you this.
Let's talk about profiling.
First question is, is profiling legal?
The question before that is, what's profiling?
What does that mean?
Profiling.
Can you stop somebody because of who they are?
Can you stop somebody?
We always heard of DWB driving while black.
Many people on the Jersey Turnpike, a lot of black folks would say, he pulled me over because I'm black.
I'm thinking, how does he know you're black?
It's at night, they're behind you, can't see in.
How do they know you're black?
How?
Sometimes they did, but others.
And then sometimes people who are pulled over because they're black, maybe because they've been stopped before, or they perceive, they believe they've been mistreated, they're a complete total asshole, which is a different story.
But the question is, is profiling legal?
Well, years ago, they said yes it was.
And they did it for the drug career profile thing, and it worked like this.
My friend, one of them worked at JFK and others worked.
If you see somebody, and they used to have this thing, and they knew this, somebody would be coming in from South America or wherever it was, one-way ticket, traveling by himself, Latin American looking man, pay cash for a ticket.
How they knew this, I have no idea.
No luggage.
Come on.
And they would say, excuse me, may we talk to you?
May we conduct a search?
And they're asking them these questions.
Now, is a stop legal?
What is a stop?
A stop is a temporary detention.
How do you know there's a stop?
When you're not free to leave.
If you can't leave, it's a stop.
It's a detention.
Is it an arrest?
No.
Are you in custody?
Not really.
But you're not in custody.
Custody means I'm charging you with something.
But to stop you, I can ask a question.
I can just ask a question.
And they would always say, do you mind if we look?
And they'd say, yeah, go ahead.
And people would sometimes, sometimes these requests were a little bit shady.
The law says you cannot acquiesce to the apparent authority of a police officer.
Meaning, if somebody asks you in such a way where you think they're ordering you, you can't argue consent.
You said, you had 12 guys in a room.
You had this light on his face.
One guy had a baton and you said, can we look in your bag?
And he said, yes.
No, no.
That consent's no good.
That's acquiescing to the apparent authority of a police officer.
Same thing with kids.
You get into problems with that.
And invariably, my friend told me, he showed me pictures.
There'd be somebody carrying a little bag, open it up, filled with $100 bills.
Filled with $100 bills.
Like you cannot Unbelievable stuff.
It was just mind-boggling.
Warren Ocasio says, TSA made traveling by Greyhound bus more appealing than flying.
They did.
They absolutely did.
And also, when you have all that, you know, those that you go through, and they're looking at you.
Some of these women, you can see right through their clothing.
I mean, it was just horrible.
Horrible, horrible, horrible.
Now, I asked one time I did a show about What the hell am I trying to say?
Profiling.
Jesus.
I've been talking all day.
My head's going crazy.
So let me ask you something.
How many bartenders do we have here?
How many bartenders?
Anybody here who is a bartender?
Anybody at all?
Anybody who's a bartender?
Anybody here who's ever been a waitress?
Any waitresses here?
Any waitresses?
Waitresses?
Bartenders.
Anybody here?
Okay.
Let me ask you a question.
If you're a waitress, or a bartender, if you're a waitress, the Huey is here, ex-bartender, God bless you.
Who is the worst person for tips?
Who?
Scott's a bar owner?
There we go.
Who is the worst person for tips?
Who?
Anybody?
Who is the worst?
Tell me.
Is there a bartender in the room?
I need a highball.
Highballs are great, right?
Who is the worst?
Rich people?
Ask EOC?
Blacks?
I was a waiter.
Rich people?
Black people?
Sunday church people?
Black people?
Rich people?
I like that.
Asians?
Interesting.
Bartenders are all government issue.
Blacks?
No question.
Draft beer drinker.
Interesting.
White guy, woman.
Without a question, everybody I've ever talked to, black patrons are the worst tippers.
Not bad people.
Not whatever.
There was a comedy club I worked years ago where whenever they had a black...
Remember black...
What's it called?
Black comedy...
Deaf Comedy Jam.
When Deaf Comedy Jam would come, they would add...
10%, 20%, whatever it was, because the patrons wouldn't tip.
Because of custom, they would not cheap in the least.
Bar bills through, always top shelf, absolutely paid, never skipped out, but tipping?
Sometimes you know the old joke about Canadians, the difference between the Canadian and the canoe, canoes tip.
Sometimes I think that there's a, like in Italy, you don't tip unless, you just don't.
Unless, you know, the service is so great or whatever it is.
Now, you know what I just did?
I just profiled.
I just profiled.
You know who were the best tippers?
People in the business.
People in the business.
Waiters, and waitresses in particular, when waitresses go out, if there's a group of people, and they go, hey honey, They are the best.
They know what it's like.
They throw it in.
They know it.
That's called profiling.
If you're ever in a place and let's say you're in a new town and you go to a place and you like it and you're going to be there, let's say you're there for a week and you're going to come back again, make sure you tell the person at a time, I'm tipping you ahead of time.
I'm tipping you ahead of time.
You'll get more buybacks than you can imagine.
There's a real thing to the whole bar.
As you know.
Okay.
Did I profile just now?
Is that a profile?
Yeah.
If you're a waiter and you say, I don't want to take that to him.
They're Asian.
Or they're black.
I don't want that.
Is that racist?
No.
It's called profiling.
And profiling is based on something else.
So one time years ago, I did this show.
I was doing talk radio on the weekend.
And the station...
One was in Houston, where they have either Johnson Control, Johnson Space Center, or whatever it was, all these space people.
And a guy called up.
He said, I am the manager of a car dealership.
And I've got this elevated kind of perch, and I can see people driving in.
And I'm the one who assign people.
And they'll say, okay, I've got a couple of two-highs here.
Jerry.
And he said, oh no you don't.
Too high.
Asians.
Because they say, too high.
Too high.
He said, it's their culture.
Nothing personal.
I don't want to deal with them.
And other people said, I ain't going to talk to them.
Not interested.
These are car dealers.
Car dealers.
Car dealers.
Different story.
This is where they make, they're not going to waste their time.
Pilgrim says, thoughts on stop and frisk?
Oh, Terry against Ohio.
Nothing wrong with that.
I'll tell you a good story about that coming up with my Judge Coe days.
We had those stories.
In any event, and thank you, by the way.
So, he said, another guy called me up.
He said, Punjabi Indians ain't gonna touch him.
Car dealer, too.
Forget it.
He said, everything is it.
Take it out.
I don't want that.
He goes, one guy wanted him to take out the heater.
He says, I can't take out the heater.
The heater is there.
It's the engine.
I can't take out the heater.
Okay, alright.
Another one said, if somebody shows up with the, if one of the rocket scientists, so to speak, at Johnson, showed up with a file, and if they had a file, but if they had a A pipe.
Forget it.
He said, I'm not going to talk to him.
Forget it.
Because they've already done the research and all about it.
I don't want to talk to him.
Doctors would tell you, if you walk in there with a WebMD file, they don't want to talk to you.
They don't want to talk to you.
They don't want to talk to you.
The best people, the worst people, now that's called profiling.
That is called profile.
You profile all the time.
If you're out looking for somebody, if you're trying to, by the way, to ensure promptness, absolutely no such thing as this rule.
To ensure promptness, Grover, that is a myth.
That's not what the word means.
The word came along when everybody else did, or prior to any kind of reference.
It didn't mean to tip.
That's something people like to ensure promptness, to ensure prompt service.
Absolutely not true.
But I've been saying that line for years myself because somebody told me and I thought it was and that's terrific.
Pilgrim says, is broken windows theory a form of profiling?
No.
No, not at all.
Broken windows means that you don't let minimal cases go by.
If somebody's drinking, let's say, you're supposed to drink inside a paper bag and you put the can in there.
If somebody's urinating in a doorway, if somebody jumps the turnstile at the subway, the old days was, ah, it's not important.
No, you stop them.
It's not profiling.
It's paying attention to people who do that.
It's a very, very good question.
Stop and frisk, you said.
Stop and frisk is...
Used to be 901, was it 901, 151?
I think it was 901, 151.
Am I?
Could that be right?
Florida Statues.
Did I get that one right?
Oh, stop and frisk.
Son of a...
I haven't thought of that.
I know 901, 151.
I don't know where my keys are, but 901, 151, I know that.
Very, very simple thing.
Terry against Ohio.
If a police officer has reasonable suspicion to believe that a crime is being committed, is about to be committed, or was committed, you can stop them for a brief custodial detention to find out what they're doing.
It's just a stop.
Stop and frisk.
And in order to ensure the officer's safety, you can conduct a brief custodial pat-down.
Now, sometimes, theoretically, you're not supposed to do it right away, but some cops will immediately start patting you down.
Not searching you, patting you down.
Yeah, but who is going to be, you know, checking this, theoretically?
You know, it's interesting.
No.
If you're suggesting that black people have a greater propensity for crimes than others, you know, that's not going to work.
You can't use statistical bases for that.
But it's a very, very simple thing.
Very, very simple.
Now, if you are patting somebody down, and you feel, and I used to love to hear this, long, hard, metallic, you feel somebody that's like a barrel, or a handle, or something, and you have to describe it in court, then you can reach in, Pull it out, and then arrest the person for carrying a concealed firearm, or whatever it is.
One time we had a case, I think it was a, was it the Blind Pig bar on Howard?
Blind Pig was Howard or Armenia?
You know how they go side by side around West Tampa?
Howard or Armenia?
In any way.
Street anti-crime.
Sack.
They went into this bar, Blind Pig.
Black bar.
Nobody was bothering anybody.
I thought this was a little dicey.
Cop goes in, pulls the jukebox out.
Music stops.
He says, alright, everybody against the wall.
It's kind of like Popeye Doyle in French Connection.
So my client at the time said, you know what?
I've got to get going.
You might as well pat me down.
Because I gotta go, and I'm not gonna wait.
He said, okay, we'll start with you.
So, my guy's up against the wall, and the cop's patting him down, not even asking him questions, just went straight for the pat down.
And he comes in his rear pocket, and he says, ooh, I feel something here.
I feel something lumpy.
I feel something, and he's touching, and he goes, and I feel, it feels like packets.
Packet?
Like packets of something.
I can feel them.
It's dope.
I know it's dope.
I've been to a police officer.
I know it's dope.
And he reaches in, pulls it out.
Dope!
Arrest the guy for, I don't know, he had a lot of it, trafficking.
Anything over 28 grams is trafficking.
Three year minimum mandatory for coke.
So during the course of this, we have a motion to suppress.
I don't know if it was called this, but it was very funny.
And the cop was a good guy, but he really went too far.
I said, Officer, when you conducted this exterior pat-down search, at what particular point did you believe that the lumpy packets were a weapon that could theoretically pose a threat to you?
At what point?
And the cop said, so help me God with a straight face.
He says, well, it could have been poison powder.
And we laughed.
We laughed.
Oh my God.
You know what?
That's a good one.
We laughed.
And the client, he goes, he's laughing.
He's laughing.
Now my client at the time was a very wonderful man.
He had a black gentleman.
He had gold teeth, but shiny.
And every time, they were always just, but large and shiny.
And he had a hair similar to, you know, Morris Day and the Knights, you know, the pomade kind of up, like the old James Brown look, but it went straight up.
Straight up.
With a tooth.
So, that morning, true story, that morning, wait a minute, Carla, here's Carla, says, once in Nyack, I left a Chinese restaurant without paying.
Not drunk, just totally forgot.
The waitress chased me down the street to remind me.
Did she remind you?
Excuse me, yes.
I like to remind you.
I like to remind you.
We were doing one time, my friend, Bruce Anderson and I, he was my news guy, we were going to a, after the show, we were going to have a libation, and on 57th Street, we both thought each other was going to pay the cab, so we both got on and walked away, and this guy comes out, he goes, hey, you can't, the cab was like crying, you can't do this to me, I said, what the hell is he talking about?
I said, did you pay him?
He goes, oh shit, and we like him double, but the cab was crying, you can't do this to me.
Anyway.
It's very embarrassing when you sometimes forget.
So anyway, listen to this story.
Who is it?
Pilgrim says, Judge Coe was such a joy to work with.
The best.
Harry Lee Coe III.
The best.
I can still do his signature.
We had a...
You know who also worked for Judge Coe?
Who was in there?
Pan Bondi.
She was in his court, too.
Knew him very, very well.
Anyway, so one day, there was this court reporter.
So you sign up in the morning, you sign the docket, you get there early, and you get your case called, and you write your name, and the defendant's name, and the page of the docket, so you get up there.
So anyway, I'm signing in.
So there was this...
We call him Fingers.
He was a court reporter, who were wonderful.
So I lean over.
And I said, listen to me.
You listening?
Yeah.
When you see my client and you see his hair and you see his teeth and you see his mannerisms, you are going to break out laughing uncontrollably.
You're going to go into spasms, paroxysms.
Guffaws, cacinations.
You'll be shaking.
Tears.
But you'll be on your machine.
And I'm telling him this.
This is before the morning.
Do you hear what I'm saying?
When you see my guy, and you see him, remember I'm telling you this.
Remember.
So I kind of back off.
Remember.
So he's looking at me.
Okay, so he kind of didn't think much of it.
So as He goes, page 13. Da-da-da-da-da, mister.
And I got up.
And I said, I looked at him.
And here he comes.
And as the people left, there's the bar, you know, the area of the court where the swinging gates are.
They're walking out.
And here comes this guy.
He's kind of a big guy.
But you could see his hair.
It's like that comedian who wants that stovepipe.
So...
This guy, Fingers, he's the stenographer.
He's looking like this.
And I'm saying, and when he finally went through, this guy shows up with his suit and he goes, you're on it.
How you doing?
Okay, how you doing?
He was like this.
Tears.
And he was just, and he's looking at me like, I hate you.
And I said, Then I never laugh.
I never crack up.
So the judge at the time said, Mr. Whatever, are you okay?
He turns around and he's crying.
And the judge basically looked at me and said, is this you?
Did you do something?
I said, yeah.
I said, okay, fine.
So we continued.
And it was no big deal.
But it was one of those wonderful moments of just a little bit of hilarity.
Nothing big.
No big deal.
But the notion of profiling and how you look for things, you have to ask the question, how do you know this?
Watch store detectives.
I love to watch YouTube.
And I love to watch people at either, I think it's Walmart or Costco or Target.
And they're in the loss prevention.
It's called loss prevention.
I love that euphemism.
Loss prevention.
We're preventing loss.
We're not apprehending bad guys.
We're just preventing loss.
It's a preventative move.
And they will show how people do it.
Twice with the swipes.
You know that kind of thing.
You take your bag and you've got two things at stake.
You scan one and the other one.
And they're watching you.
And they know everything.
Like a pit boss in Vegas.
And you get these people and they have the most ridiculous things to say.
And they have no...
Now, when you're sitting back there and they're looking, they'll say this one.
Keep an eye on that one.
I can tell.
And they'll say, well, how did you know this?
I can tell by the way they're looking.
They're doing a lot of this.
Picking things up.
There was one where the cameras are so terrific.
There was this one I saw just the other day where this woman came and stole three big cans of beer and she's walking around and it's all on tape.
It's all there.
But what happens is this guy knew.
I knew she was going to do this.
I knew the way she acted.
I knew it.
And by the way, it's funny.
Carla mentions this.
Have you ever walked out of a place with something in your hand and you don't realize and you just leave and you get in your car and go, oh shit!
Dollar Tree, Bloomfield Avenue with Mrs. L. We had this thing.
It was a dollar.
It was before it was a dollar.
It was a dollar.
I don't know what the hell it was.
But it was, hence the name, a dollar.
And Schmucko over here walks out, and it was like around Christmas time, it was cold, and I thought, oh my god.
So I thought to myself, I gotta go back in and pay for it.
And I had these, imagine, media, whatever it is, arrested for stealing an ornament or a scotch tape or something from a dollar store on Bloomfield Avenue in Bloomfield.
Oh god.
So I said, I've got to go back in.
So I walked in, and the line, all of a sudden, was like around the block.
I said, where'd these people come from?
So I had to get in the back, and I'm trying to figure out, maybe I can somehow, like, show them what I've got, so they'll let me go ahead.
They'll feel sorry for me.
Everybody else has got the same thing I've got.
One, two items.
They're not going to let me go there.
So I'm waiting, and waiting, and waiting.
But if they had caught me, I would have said, now here's the question.
For a call on everybody else.
If you did not intend to steal, if you did not know it, you can't be charged.
How do you prove this?
I have no idea.
Scienter.
Knowledge.
Knowing.
S-C-I-E-N-T-E-R.
From scans.
Science.
Knowledge.
How did you know?
I don't know.
How did you...
Did you ever eat food in a store?
Did you ever eat food in a store and think, I'll bring the wrapper?
I'll bring the wrapper.
But I don't want to, you know, I might forget the wrapper.
I'm eating this.
Oh, I'm going to bring the wrapper to the...
Oh, no, no, no.
I know I'm eating it, but I'm going to bring the wrapper to the front desk.
Uh-huh.
And then you forget somehow?
Is that theft?
Damn right it's theft.
Cut Up Chatter says...
You didn't act squirrely.
That's true.
My mother, one time, when she was, bless her heart, she was a young gal, and she was at a Sears.
She worked at a Sears.
And these two guys came in, and they had a canoe, like this big, oh, this is, what, 50s or 40s, and who knows?
Anyway, they had this canoe, two of them, and they walked right out.
Just walk up.
They have like coveralls.
And she's like this.
Have a nice day.
So the manager says, did you see those two guys in the boat?
He goes, yeah, they left.
He goes, they stole it.
They stole it.
Because they didn't look like they were doing anything, dare I say, furtive.
A good friend Sol says, some Walmarts are piloting body cams on employees.
Oh!
I got no problem with that.
Seriously.
I have absolutely No problem with this whatsoever.
I love to go to Costco's.
You've got to walk out from this one little place.
You've got to show them your tag.
They're very good at looking at that.
But you can't run out.
You can't.
It's a very, very simple thing.
When I saw during COVID and during after COVID, Post George Floyd, what I saw was just disgusting to me, to see the amount of theft.
And people telling me, I can't do anything about it.
Can't do anything about it.
The people running, and people running out could run over somebody.
Do any of you find people still live in stores or live in areas where certain items, bath soaps and liquid soaps and whatever, are behind?
I guess, sealed or locked windows.
You gotta push the button to get this poor schmuck to come over.
That's the worst thing in the world.
That's the worst thing in the world.
And God forbid, thank God it's not something like, you know, rectal itch cream or something like that.
This is this.
Anyway, the problem is, profiling makes sense.
There were police officers who say, I know exactly who's carrying a gun.
I can tell you exactly.
And they're right.
Does that count?
And, You can say, yeah, but I was right.
That's why we were in court.
It doesn't matter.
It doesn't matter why we're in court.
It doesn't matter.
Period.
Is this blurry?
Okay, good.
Let's blur it for a moment.
So if you go to court and you say, Your Honor, I represent the state, and this is Officer Frank.
And Officer Frank, based upon his experience and observations, notice a particular pattern, a furtive behavior.
And Officer Frank decided that this person most probably was engaged in some type of theft or theft-like activity.
Purloined items.
Larceny.
Trespassorial taking.
Asportation.
Manucaption and asportation.
Those are all the common law elements.
You've got to grab it, and you've got to walk away with it.
What happens if you put it in your purse?
It's concealment, but you're not out of the door yet.
You're stopped and you said, well, I put it in my purse because I don't have a bag.
I didn't want to carry it loose, but I was going to take it out.
That's a tough one.
That is a tough one.
Very, very, very tough.
So, the bottom line is, profiling works.
When you were single, ladies and gentlemen, if you were Let's say out on the prowl or you were out.
Did you ever profile?
Did you ever profile?
Maybe you are now.
Maybe you're looking for some object of amour.
Do you ever profile?
And if you profile, what are you looking for?
What specifically are you looking for?
Tell me.
What are you looking for?
We always profile.
We do it all the time.
You look at your kids and make sure they're acting okay.
You're looking for behavior.
You're looking for behavior patterns.
You're looking for folks.
If you work in a place, if you work in a town, we don't really have this, but friends of mine in Italy talk about gypsies, the Roma.
And they say, they're thieves.
The guy says, oh, you can't say that.
He goes, oh, yeah?
Okay.
When I see one, he can spot them.
If you've been robbed 75 times by gypsies, Roma, Are you supposed to learn anything from that?
Does that mean anything?
Are you supposed to pretend it doesn't mean anything?
I don't know.
Are you supposed to?
Profiling is real.
I don't think necessarily it's correct to base a criminal investigation or a stomp on it, but if you don't think that people in certain groups, in certain places, in certain areas, at certain times of the day, if you don't think that military folks, Act differently than math teachers, young ladies who teach math or whatever.
If you don't think people...
Do you notice, for example, girls in their teens, in their 20s, in their 30s, in their 40s, do you think they act differently?
Do you think that they take on different behavior patterns?
Absolutely.
Do you?
Yeah.
I mean, this is just a joke.
Again, it's not enough.
It's not enough to stop somebody.
But if you don't think people don't act, is it?
Yeah.
And the people who will tell you exactly are people within the particular group you're talking about.
And it can be anything from parts of the country to parts of town to whatever.
It's absolutely, positively, 100% true.
Forensic Alliance says, Profiling is indeed a part of forensic psychology to an extent to find out people.
That's all.
In any event, dear friends, what a delightful evening it was.
What a delightful evening discussing these very interesting topics.
I thoroughly enjoyed it.
Pilgrim said, I did write-alongs with TPD, Tampa Police Department.
It was instructive.
Of course it was.
I would never want to be a part of that or be a cop, but I'm sure I was.
And, by the way, there are people, as you know, who for everything instructional that you show, there are some black people who say, they treated me like hell, and they will tell you stories you cannot believe.
So they are not without bases for being treated.
When you respond with, well, one of the reasons why you're treated like this is that your brothers and sisters are doing all this crime.
Which makes us look at you, and then it just goes around.
So, if you don't think, a friend of mine, black friend, I said, what do you notice?
What would I notice about being black?
He said, well, the first thing is, when you walk into a store, the way they look at you, I'll never forget that.
He said, I don't care if you've got a suit on, I don't care what you're doing, you just get this look.
He says, and he gets you after a while.
I don't think that's ever happened with me.
I do not.
I don't think that's ever happened to me.
So it was something to think about, nonetheless.
And then, even to your friends, Pilgrim Media, Soul76 Scan, Cut Up Chatter, Carla, the cookie CEO, trying to skip on a Chinese place in Nyack, no less.
I can't.
Stop the madness.
Thomas Almey, thank you.
Johnny Mazza Spaz, we thank you.
My friend Warren Ocasio, ladies and gentlemen.
Matt and Tina.
Remember Tony and Tina's wedding?
Did you ever go see that?
It never ended.
And M.R.O.
LeVon, thank you so much for everything that you appear to do.
Warren Ocasio says, I guess I do profile.
I stay away from people that talk too fast.
Could be.
I like that.
I don't know what that means.
But I, when, if you were walking down the street, who was it?
Was it Jesse Jackson?
He says, if you see two black young youths, Walking.
Some people say, I'm going to cross the street.
Is that profiling?
Does anybody care?
No.
Is that racist?
No.
Are black people different from white people?
Yep.
Are black people different from white people?
Yes.
Are white people different from each other?
Yes.
Are people of different ages different?
People of different religions?
Yep.
Absolutely.
If you haven't figured this out, I can't help you.
This idea that we're all the same.
Bullshit.
I'm not saying it's right or wrong, but there are behaviors.
And if you don't think so, try selling something and go to...
Years ago, you don't see it anymore, but we'd be driving, and if you saw years ago, if you were a place, you saw Newport...
Mental cigarette commercials?
On billboards?
All of a sudden, Newport.
Or Colt 45?
You know exactly where you were.
Why?
Because the people who put them there knew exactly what they were doing.
They were selling this particular item, so they went to this particular part of town where they would buy this item.
And the people are not going to waste their money with an advertising agency going to places who aren't buying their product.
And if black people bought malt liquor and this, that's fine.
If, if...
I don't know about you, but if you've ever seen here in Queens, for example, you're driving and all of a sudden it looks like little Beirut.
All the lawyers, it's all in Arabic, and then it's Chinese.
You think Chinese people live there?
Why?
All these Chinese signs, Chinese lawyer, Chinese dentist, Chinese car dealership, yeah.
Probably live there, don't they?
Yeah?
Is that profiling?
No!
And if you sold something that Chinese people bought, where would you put the ads for it?
Where the Chinese people are, or the Italians, or whatever it is.
This isn't brain surgery.
And if for some particular reason you say, you know, I bought this stuff, and it's a damnedest thing, but lo and behold, black people buy it more than white, or white people buy it, or women buy it.
This is not profiling.
It's fact.
And as you and I are, Students of Human Behavior.
And I find it fascinating.
All right, dear friends, have a great and glorious night.
Make sure, especially 9.30, you get the John Kiriakou interview that drops.
It's very, very good.
Follow Mrs. L at Lynn's Warriors.
She's going to be on and talking to you very, very soon about her trip to Washington, which is very good.
And it was just such a pleasure being with you.
I thank you so much.
I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Have a great and glorious day.
It's going to be 78. Degrees, I think, tomorrow?
And Central Park's going to be just jammed.
Because spring is here.
All right, dear friends.
Have a great and a glorious day.
You are spending time with me means so much.
We love you.
Thank you so much.
And don't forget, the monkey's dead.
Show's over.
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