Recalibration of Reality
What it all means.
What it all means.
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For today's subject, that being called, and that I think appropriately called, The recalibration of reality. | |
How glorious that is. | |
The recalibration of reality. | |
Oh, we could go on with that forever. | |
Reality. | |
We need to get back to step back. | |
To step back and stop reacting to everything. | |
And you ask the questions. | |
You figure out what is happening. | |
I, right now, every single moment of my existence, there is another epiphany moment. | |
A moment of, wait a minute, I understand it. | |
It's an aha moment that I cannot put into words any clearer than this. | |
It's the aha moment. | |
Yes! | |
I see it. | |
It's scary because I'm thinking, why am I going through this? | |
Some people would call these, I believe, spiritual moments. | |
Spiritual, perhaps, maybe. | |
I don't know what that is. | |
I'm not really sure what spiritual is. | |
I don't know what people mean by that. | |
But every single day, oh my God, I think, no, no, wait, wait, that's not it. | |
You're missing the point. | |
This is some of the stuff that I want to discuss and we'll discuss this Saturday. | |
You know, the word excited is used far too much. | |
I like to watch food blogs. | |
At least I used to be able to. | |
I can't watch them anymore. | |
I can't. | |
I just can't. | |
Because everybody wants to be Mark Wiens or the food ranger. | |
And it's this unctuous, grinning, Hyper excitatory I don't know what you want to call it. | |
This thing that people have like I'm so excited. | |
I'm so excited to try this pizza. | |
Thank you. | |
I'm so excited. | |
You're excited? | |
I think it's the word it's kind of overused like literally awesome and things like that. | |
But I am looking forward to Saturday at the cutting room like You cannot believe. | |
Here it is right now. | |
This is the information I have put right there for you. | |
Tickets are available. | |
Ladies and gentlemen, please don't wait. | |
Don't wait. | |
Because what I'm going to do is to do something nobody does. | |
Listen to what I'm saying. | |
You go to a performance and the person's on the stage. | |
And he does or she does or they do their thing. | |
And they're done. | |
And you sit over here and you clap. | |
And if you talk out loud, they say, Shh! | |
Don't interrupt us. | |
Shh! | |
Don't heckle. | |
Shh! | |
This is not participatory. | |
Just watch us. | |
Just be here. | |
Pay your ticket. | |
Sit down and shut up. | |
You can clap. | |
You can go like that. | |
You might be able to sing along, but that's it. | |
And I understand why. | |
You don't want to have people... | |
When the movie... | |
When the movie... | |
When the play Mamma Mia came out and I first went to it when it hit Broadway or the musical, people were singing along and it destroyed everything. | |
So sometimes I understand this. | |
But Saturday night at the cutting room, this is almost like a meeting of sorts. | |
I make my notes as to what's going on, and it writes itself. | |
It's comedy, but it's absurdist. | |
That's the thing which I can't explain to you enough. | |
It's looking at life through an absurdist lens. | |
Can you see this? | |
Do you recognize what's happening here? | |
We went to this gym. | |
And whenever we... | |
It's upstairs or whatever. | |
The steps of the design are so exacting that you can't believe, seriously, how you're out of breath by virtue of going up the steps. | |
The steps to the gym is one of the most physically stressing things there is. | |
And there are people... | |
At a gym who are not going up the stairs. | |
What? | |
They're waiting for the elevator. | |
That's absurd. | |
I could stop and say, do you see this? | |
Yes. | |
Isn't this funny? | |
Yes, it's funny. | |
I understand. | |
It's absurd. | |
It doesn't make any sense. | |
You see what I'm saying? | |
I think so. | |
Do you see what I'm saying? | |
That's what we're seeing right now. | |
Everywhere. | |
Social, political, inter-human. | |
Anyway, that's Saturday night. | |
We have instruction cards. | |
I have a microphone. | |
I'm going to walk around. | |
Nobody does this. | |
Because nobody's able to sit there and say, I know this cold. | |
I am like you. | |
I'm observing this. | |
And I'm not sitting here saying, let me write a joke about this. | |
Let's write a joke about airline problems. | |
Let me write a joke. | |
And what? | |
I love when these comics say, I'm not a comic, but I'm going to write a joke. | |
You're going to write a joke? | |
They make it sound so formulaic, like, yes, I'm going to give life to this observation. | |
It writes itself! | |
Okay, enough of that. | |
Speaking of which, you have read it everywhere. | |
Why is there such a problem with airline travel all of a sudden? | |
Now, sometimes there are problems because of weather, and that's okay. | |
Why is this the way it is? | |
Why do you think that is? | |
Let me also ask you and tell you. | |
You must. | |
It is critical for you to like this video. | |
I know, I'm sorry. | |
I don't mean to normally be this, you know, precatory, as we say. | |
But please, I ask you. | |
I beg you. | |
Ain't you proud to beg? | |
Please, like this. | |
Subscribe to this channel. | |
Metrics. | |
Okay. | |
Why do you think this is happening? | |
What is happening? | |
Why is this? | |
First and foremost, if you are someone who actually has to be on an airplane or airports, if that is what you must deal with, On a regular basis. | |
If you have to do that, I feel so sorry for you. | |
Is there anyone here seeing my old friend Mark? | |
Is there anybody here who has to do this professionally? | |
Because if you do, you deserve hazard pay. | |
I despise it. | |
At levels I can't even explain. | |
I can't explain to you the levels. | |
I don't know what it is. | |
I think, though I'm not going to claim any kind of anxiety, I think I have a phobia. | |
It's an irrational, unnatural, it's just, I don't like it. | |
I don't know what it is. | |
And I don't understand the whole thing about... | |
The process of putting everything in your bag, everything in your bag. | |
Folks who insist upon overhead, I can't put anything, I'm sorry, between us. | |
I'll go to the carousel, I'll do all this. | |
But even that, the attitude, it's transitory. | |
It's also one of the most incredibly fascinating Pieces of information because I can find out so much. | |
I can find so much. | |
How do I say this? | |
From just watching and observing. | |
It's the most incredible thing in the world. | |
It's the most incredible thing in the world to see this. | |
To see this conflagration of people. | |
And at JFK, dear God, it's the most... | |
It's one place. | |
People all over the world will be in and out. | |
And I love to hear languages. | |
I love it. | |
I loved. | |
I could just watch. | |
I could just sit there and watch. | |
Look at this. | |
Look at what's happening. | |
Look at the professional. | |
The professional travelers versus not. | |
The families. | |
The flight attendants. | |
How little by little they're taking everything away from you. | |
Everything. | |
You have some... | |
I don't want to mention airlines in particular. | |
I've got my favorites, but... | |
The idea is that go to the kiosk. | |
Do it yourself. | |
I kind of like this. | |
Just go there. | |
Bring your bag. | |
Hold your... | |
You got your phone? | |
Go like that. | |
You'll get the little strip, you know, that luggage tag. | |
Put it on yourself. | |
Roll it on. | |
Roll it on there. | |
Hand it to the lady and to the man. | |
They're going to weigh it. | |
Have a nice flight. | |
See ya. | |
Go. | |
Go. | |
Leave it. | |
99% of the time it goes, it finds its way, and that's it. | |
Everything's great. | |
Everything's terrific. | |
But now, there's a perception of it's a broken system. | |
It doesn't work. | |
Do you know how many planes and flights are in the air now as we speak? | |
That land at airports and places you've never seen before. | |
Do you have any idea on this? | |
I do. | |
It's incredible. | |
It's incredible. | |
I sound like Louis C.K. He did a routine about this. | |
It's just, I mean, it's really something. | |
And there is a glitch. | |
Is it really that bad? | |
Is it really that catastrophic? | |
I think Southwest, it was horrible that one day, never happens. | |
Never happens. | |
A bridge sometimes will collapse. | |
Very rarely, but it will. | |
Nobody refuses to go on bridges. | |
I'm just... | |
I'm just impressed and always looking at things and saying, is this really the way it is? | |
I don't know. | |
Is it really that big? | |
Is our reality correct? | |
This is what I want to know. | |
This is what I want to know. | |
Now let me stop right now and tell you this. | |
Have you heard the word? | |
Have you heard, I didn't do this yesterday, and I have not spoken to you about this, about Mike Lindell and the MyPillow. | |
Have you been following? | |
And the memes are, oh, memes are so, memes are just so incredible. | |
The memes. | |
The memes. | |
I love the memes. | |
You know what meme stands for, right? | |
Meme is memetic. | |
Memetic. | |
It's not... | |
It's a Richard Dawkins term. | |
I think from the God gene, it might be. | |
I'm not sure. | |
But, in any event, this was this one meme. | |
It said, here it is. | |
And it showed this one piece from Mike Lindell. | |
And it shows how... | |
First, there was this focused attention on Mr. Lindell, and Bed Bath& Beyond said they are not selling his product. | |
Then, 37 Bed Bath& Beyond stores are closing. | |
I'm looking at CNN Business, and then Bed Bath& Beyond says it may not survive. | |
Now, I don't believe in karma. | |
I really don't. | |
I don't believe in karma. | |
I don't. | |
I don't believe in karma. | |
I believe in economics. | |
I do not believe in karma. | |
But what I'm saying is that this man has withstood it all. | |
And he supports us. | |
And we, in turn, support him. | |
We support my pillow. | |
It is that simple. | |
It is that overtly and precisely that simple. | |
So there is the information for you. | |
And I beseech, I entreat, I importune you to go and to see for yourself this man. | |
See what he has done. | |
And to be a part of this, dare I say, this family. | |
And to see it. | |
There it is, okay? | |
Do you see this? | |
See for yourself this. | |
This person, this wonderful man. | |
There it is. | |
And see for yourself what you can buy. | |
You know the routine. | |
Just go to MyPillow.com, promo code Lionel, promo code Lionel, promo code Lionel, cannot say it enough, promo code Lionel, see for yourself, promo code Lionel, and see what I'm talking about. | |
Now, I don't know if this is karma. | |
I have no idea. | |
But all I know is... | |
I support him, and I want you as well. | |
If you need a telephone number, 800-645-4965, that is the number. | |
That is the number that you can use if you insist upon landlines. | |
And by the way, I insist upon a landline myself. | |
I cannot, my phone doesn't work. | |
Maybe it's because we're in a building. | |
It just doesn't work. | |
It does not work. | |
Okay. | |
You mentioned, Somebody mentioned Richard Dawkins. | |
I will say this to you. | |
Richard Dawkins. | |
Daniel Dennett I like quite a bit. | |
Lawrence Krauss. | |
The worst interviewer I've ever heard in my life who will not let anybody speak who has to speak himself. | |
I don't know if you noticed this. | |
Have you heard There is a wonderful Sabine Hassenfelder. | |
She's a physicist. | |
She's very, very good. | |
I really like her. | |
She was on with him. | |
And he would not let her speak. | |
He would not let her speak. | |
And let me tell you a very, very simple rule about... | |
By the way, just want to let you know. | |
MyPillow.com. | |
Sorry. | |
I can't. | |
I'm still rusty. | |
A couple of days off. | |
Support them. | |
But don't forget, before I forget, promo code Lionel. | |
Now, Sabine, have you seen her? | |
Such great, great physics. | |
I love the physics talk. | |
I love the astrophysics, cosmology, cosmogony. | |
I love the idea of seeing how the... | |
Universe, theoretically, began. | |
And these wonderful, wonderful, Sabine Hassenfelder. | |
Please watch her on video. | |
It's just wonderful. | |
It's a great source of awe on my part. | |
And I use that word, awe. | |
Cosmogony is the branch of astrophysics that studies the origins and evolution and structure of the universe. | |
Let me ask you something. | |
This is the most important question in the world. | |
Speaking about recalibration of reality, is it possible for something to come from nowhere? | |
Is it possible for our universe to come from nowhere? | |
For this, To have come from a point and one day that point, that focal point, collapsed upon itself, was propelled by this explosion, this event. | |
Is it possible for it to happen on its own? | |
Can something come from nothing? | |
Now that's the question. | |
Ask somebody the question, can something come from nothing? | |
Now let me ask you something. | |
You will obviously say, no it can't. | |
Why can't it? | |
Why can't something come from nothing? | |
You're using and you're applying plain old American I should say American. | |
Strike that. | |
Human belief. | |
The intelligent design theory. | |
When you see something that is far more complicated than anything that we can understand, we will attribute some type of cause to it. | |
It had to have been made by and from something. | |
There's no way you can look at a baby. | |
A baby! | |
And think that there was not something grand behind this. | |
Look at this. | |
Someone asks, does the human species evolve from apes right off the bat? | |
Someone writes very nicely, that's not what happened. | |
You have your terminology correct. | |
No one evolved from apes. | |
That's not it. | |
You see, when you're starting with a subject, the first thing you have to ask yourself is, do I know anything about this? | |
And most of the time, the answer is, no, I don't. | |
I really don't know anything about this. | |
I don't know anything about this subject. | |
I think I do. | |
I think, I'm not sure. | |
Can you separate that from your own Let's say historical, religious, societal, cultural biases. | |
Can you do that? | |
I don't know. | |
Maybe not. | |
Maybe not. | |
Is it possible for, and this is the most interesting thing in the world, there was a time when, I remember in the Catholic Church, friends of mine who were devout Catholics says, you cannot, evolution is completely contrary, contrary to the notion of creationist theory. | |
Can a Christian believe in... | |
I'm not familiar with others, but can a Christian believe in evolution? | |
Can we do that? | |
Is it possible? | |
Does evolution dispute, discount, invalidate the notion of creationism and Adam and Eve and everything else? | |
Two encyclicals, if it matters, from the Catholic Church. | |
Pius XII and John Paul II said, not only, not only is it completely consistent with Catholicism or Christianity to believe that evolution was the mechanism I wish, as long as you believe that the final product was imbued with the Spirit of God. | |
That's it. | |
Boom. | |
And most people had no idea. | |
But in their mind, in their mind, they came up with the idea that, no, I don't know how, no. | |
And they know nothing about this. | |
And they never picked up a phone or looked or read. | |
They just said, hmm, I don't think this is possible. | |
And that's it. | |
And they disputed evolution. | |
Now there's another evolution. | |
There's another theory within evolution that some people are promoting that Darwinian evolution, Darwinian mechanics, natural selection are great for Little things. | |
Little things. | |
Little things. | |
A beak. | |
A part of the tortoise shell where he noticed on one of the islands this one particular tortoise shell this island, that island this one tortoise shell had a little curvature on the back and it was to allow a neck to rise because the verdure The greens, the plants were higher. | |
So over time, okay, little things like that. | |
But for big stuff, all of a sudden, boom, out of nowhere, at least from what people can say. | |
And this has been positive by others. | |
Oh, no, no, no, no. | |
So there's an argument even within this. | |
Stephen Jay Gould talked about non-overlapping magisteria. | |
Here's science, here's evolution. | |
And you have evolutionists and people who believe in Darwinian mechanics and natural selection who will fight the notion of anything that even suggests there being a deity. | |
You have people like Daniel Dennett and people like Sam Harris and people like Christopher Hitchens and Lawrence Krauss and Dawkins who are just I don't want to say They're not at all irrational, but their atheistic zealotry is... | |
Now people also say this, evolution is just a theory. | |
Have you heard this? | |
Evolution is a theory. | |
It's just a theory. | |
Gravity is a theory too. | |
It's also a fact. | |
Gravity is a theory. | |
There was a time when people said, well is it the Newtonian theory? | |
Is it the Einsteinian theory? | |
And as Stephen Jay Gould said, the apples and objects did not float in mid-air while we determined this particular question. | |
Even within this, and I say, here is my thought today. | |
Let me listen to this, and let me listen to this, and let me hear. | |
And I will make up my mind as to what makes sense. | |
But remember, Science and religion, they're very territorial. | |
And neither side wants to say we were wrong. | |
We were completely wrong about that. | |
My dear friends, listen to me. | |
And listen, don't make up your mind. | |
Nobody's forcing you to make up your mind. | |
Do you think there's something beyond the actual yes? | |
Beyond the tangible yes? | |
Do you think there are things of the, what we call, for lack of a better word, a spiritual realm? | |
Do you think that impossible? | |
When people say they experience things and feel things and know things. | |
And they're involved themselves on an experiential plane. | |
Do you think for one minute all these people are just making up their mind? | |
Is it just crazy? | |
No. | |
Stop answering the question. | |
Listen. | |
Dream. | |
Just recalibrate your reality. | |
Let's see about that. | |
People ask this question. | |
Do you think there's any purpose to this life? | |
Do you think we were here just by some kind of accident? | |
Were we put here for some reason? | |
Was this fate? | |
We ask, what's the purpose of life? | |
Why am I here? | |
Do you ask that question? | |
Do you ask that? | |
I love to listen to people. | |
And I never, ever, ever Even so much as think about why I'm here. | |
Never. | |
I've never thought that. | |
Is this fate? | |
Is this part of, was it Clotho, Lachesis, and Atropo, you know, the three fates? | |
Am I here because of this? | |
Am I here because of this? | |
Now there are people I know who love, and I'm not going to mention their name, But there are friends of mine, one in particular who is watching right now, and this very dear and very, very special and very, very close friend of mine loves sometimes to always evaluate and loves to destroy that which other people believe. | |
Not on purpose, not because he's a malicious person, but he loves to always disprove that which you are showing or believing. | |
He loves that part. | |
It's a fashion. | |
How many people do you believe on the planet right now are Christian? | |
What percentage? | |
Quick number. | |
What percentage of people on the planet Earth are Christian? | |
In any form. | |
Catholic, Protestant, whatever. | |
How many? | |
What percentage of this are Christian? | |
Give me a number. | |
Very quickly. | |
Don't check. | |
Don't look. | |
Just tell me what you feel. | |
What do you feel? | |
What do you feel? | |
How many people? | |
What percentage of this planet? | |
This planet. | |
What percentage do you believe is 40? | |
Go ahead. | |
Give me a number. | |
17%. | |
35%. | |
I like that. | |
Anybody who comes up with 17% is my number. | |
Twenty-three percent. | |
Twenty percent. | |
Five percent? | |
No, you can't think five percent. | |
The answer, about thirty-one percent. | |
Less than a third. | |
Less than a third. | |
And there's about, I read this, could it be, I don't know how many thousands of sub-religions there are underneath that. | |
I don't know. | |
Let me ask you this question. | |
When you look at the numbers of people, In the United States, I was asking somebody, what is the Jewish population? | |
Identified as Jewish. | |
2%. | |
2%. | |
African American, 14-15%. | |
What does that tell you? | |
What do numbers tell you? | |
What does that tell you? | |
Numbers are important to a point. | |
If you have two people, one person is sitting at a stoplight, not moving. | |
Another person is flying by. | |
At 100 miles an hour. | |
Their average speed is 50 miles an hour, even though neither of them are going 50 miles an hour. | |
But it's a number, and it helps. | |
Okay, that's fine. | |
That's okay. | |
What do numbers mean? | |
What does this mean? | |
Who's heard of Avogadro's number? | |
6.023 times 10 to the 23rd. | |
It's a mole. | |
6 with 23 zeros. | |
How big is 6 with 23 zeros? | |
Somebody calculated it one time, because you always, when you do molarity and chemistry, you know the atomic number, like 12, it takes 12 grams of carbon to make a mole, and the mole is like a dozen, it's a unit, 6.023 times 10 to the 23rd. | |
And if you had to equivalent, or equivalent, I'm going to make that a word up. | |
If you want to equivalent, semiologism, perhaps, it would be equivalent to enough I think grains of rice to fill enough railroad boxcars to go from the earth to the moon a thousand times. | |
I love that. | |
I love that. | |
Anybody play the lottery? | |
Anybody play the lottery? | |
My favorite are odds. | |
Probability. | |
What does probability mean to you? | |
What does that mean to you? | |
What does that mean? | |
What does probability mean? | |
Right now there was a And I love this. | |
Somebody will say, well, there's a lottery coming up. | |
It's a billion dollars. | |
I'm going to play this. | |
But I won't play it for $12 million. | |
I'll play it for a billion. | |
If you buy one ticket or five tickets or ten tickets, what difference does it make? | |
How does that mean? | |
How do you figure this out? | |
What are the odds? | |
How do you figure the odds? | |
What are the odds? | |
Hold it right there and stop for a second because I want to talk to you about something which is very, very important. | |
I want to talk about the odds of something that are happening. | |
And listen to me right now. | |
We have not talked about this. | |
Ladies and gentlemen, the odds. | |
What are the odds of food shortages? | |
Listen to me. | |
Food shortages? | |
The odds? | |
It's not the odds. | |
When you're standing there and a big storm cloud is coming at you, nobody talks about the odds. | |
They say when. | |
When is it coming? | |
What are the odds of you dying? | |
Ultimately, 100%. | |
When? | |
Well, that's a different story. | |
See, odds only work for conditional developments but not ultimate events. | |
There will be food emergencies. | |
There will be food shortages. | |
There will be. | |
When? | |
We can talk about that all day long. | |
My Patriot Supply has gone the extra mile right now to make their emergency food available to you. | |
And this is something that people do not want to talk about. | |
It's one of those things which is one of those wonderfully fascinating events where people just, I don't want to talk about things that, well, I don't want to talk about that. | |
I just don't want to talk about that. | |
Well, you better talk about that. | |
And we're going to talk about this right now. | |
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You understand that? | |
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Those who know what's coming are using today to prepare. | |
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I love the notion of odds. | |
Do you know how odds are figured out? | |
You know when they say, you have one in a, I don't know, a million chance. | |
Why are you playing the lottery? | |
I get the lottery. | |
I play the lottery. | |
Don't you? | |
Why not? | |
Why not? | |
Well, people have this thing about them. | |
Now, I have had no particular interest whatsoever in gambling, which I guess we all gamble to a certain extent. | |
I'm not passing any judgment. | |
But let me ask you a question. | |
What is the number? | |
Six numbers? | |
Six cards? | |
Six? | |
Six cards. | |
Six numbers? | |
How do you... | |
What are the... | |
I think, isn't the lottery... | |
I don't even know this. | |
Six numbers from 1 to 59. Okay. | |
How do you figure that out? | |
How do you figure that out? | |
How do you get the odds of getting six numbers? | |
Well, here we go. | |
Ready for this? | |
Works like this. | |
Listen to me carefully. | |
Number one. | |
One. | |
Your chance of picking one card is what? | |
It's 59 numbers. | |
You got a hat. | |
This is without replacement, by the way. | |
Pick a card up. | |
What was your chance? | |
One out of 59. Boom. | |
What's your chances of getting the second number? | |
One out of 58. What's the chance of getting the third number you picked? | |
1 out of 57. You got it? | |
59, 58. So it's 59 times 58 times 57 times 56 times 55 times 54. Boom! | |
Multiply that. | |
Now, do you have to get them in that order? | |
No. | |
Good. | |
Divide that number by 6 factorial. | |
1 times 2 times 3 times 4 times 5 times 6. That's the odd. | |
What does that mean to you? | |
What does that mean to you? | |
Tell me what it means. | |
What do odds mean? | |
What does probability mean to you? | |
When you hear that, what does that mean? | |
Should I do that? | |
Is it worth a bother? | |
The chances of you winning or you being hit by lightning. | |
What does that mean? | |
I don't understand what that means. | |
People have never been able to understand what this means. | |
Let me ask you a better one for you. | |
A better question. | |
Go up and say, pick six cards. | |
Here's a deck. | |
Just you do them. | |
Pick six cards. | |
Show me that hand. | |
Do you know the odds of you getting that hand? | |
And you can figure it out. | |
That's incredible. | |
But it doesn't mean anything to you. | |
Why? | |
Because there was nothing that... | |
It didn't depend on anything. | |
He just picks his cards on it. | |
One day, there's an office building we go to. | |
I go to on a regular basis, right? | |
And we're stopping in the elevator. | |
And I think this entire this entire building or seemed to be one big fertility or IVF lab one floor after another. | |
IVF, IVF. | |
I mean, it was just fertility, IVF. | |
Packed. | |
Women spending so much money, and men, well, couples, people, because they couldn't get pregnant. | |
They could not get pregnant, for whatever reason. | |
Whatever reason, they're obviously ostensibly having problems. | |
Do you ever think about what it means to have a child, to have a baby? | |
For that moment, at this moment. | |
For that egg and sperm to unite at the moment of ovulation and this and everything, and all the chemical balances are perfect in the spermatid, so it caps it in the part of this and the pH and the boom, and it cleaves perfectly, meiosis perfectly, oh my god, it breaks apart in it. | |
Just, and that sperm to make that trip, it's like, gee, I mean, how does this even happen? | |
And then you go to a fertility clinic and you realize, this is the rarest thing. | |
How difficult is this to happen? | |
Then, if I were to take you, let's go to Mumbai, let's go to Mexico City, and you'll see millions of people thinking, well, what is this? | |
You want to talk about the odds? | |
What do the odds mean in Mexico City or Mumbai versus the third floor of this? | |
Where are your odds? | |
Odds are... | |
I love odds. | |
I love when people say this. | |
My chances of meeting you. | |
How did I do this? | |
Me meeting Mrs. L. How did this happen? | |
It just happened. | |
How? | |
I don't know. | |
How do some people get sick and some people don't? | |
How does this happen? | |
And then, then I'm going to ask you the worst question of them all. | |
Let's talk about bad things. | |
Do you think that there is a predisposition? | |
And I have never, even though I am not what you would call religious, I'm irreligious, I never believed that somewhere in the course of things did God ever plan horrible things to children? | |
And they always use this as an example. | |
They always use this. | |
There cannot possibly be a God, because if there was a God, why would God in any way allow for this horror, allow for the Holocaust, allow and permit to not think, wait a minute, wait a minute, no, no, no, no. | |
I actually heard Neil deGrasse Tyson, who was on a tear. | |
He is just, he is on every, he is on every show. | |
He was on with Theo Vaughn. | |
I saw this in some rotation, talking about cosmogony. | |
With this guy. | |
Hey, it's a gig. | |
And he says one of the reasons why he could not believe that there was a God is because why would God allow this to be? | |
God did not make this. | |
We did this. | |
Free will, baby. | |
Free will. | |
Oh. | |
So you're saying God doesn't have a role? | |
Not necessarily. | |
I'm not saying that. | |
Who did this? | |
Did God do this? | |
Yes, but what about accidents? | |
What is he supposed to do? | |
Intervene? | |
I love these questions. | |
Recalibrating reality, my friends. | |
That's what it's all about. | |
Recalibrating reality. | |
It is such a glorious and fascinating, fascinating piece of just... | |
I don't know what the word is. | |
It's beautiful. | |
Look, someone met his wife in Hong Kong. | |
How did that happen? | |
How? | |
And if one thing, and to you, sir, if one thing went wrong in your road to meet your wife, one event, one, you were five minutes at a stoplight. | |
You didn't take this. | |
You weren't sick that day. | |
You changed your mind about something that happened in the past. | |
You wouldn't have met your wife. | |
It would have been completely different. | |
If you could go back in time and change things, this is the most beautiful question in the world, could you do it? | |
Can we go back in time? | |
Can we fix things? | |
Can we change things? | |
And you know the expression, you know the paradox. | |
If you went back in time and killed your parents, how would you be? | |
Time travel, past travel. | |
What we've been doing right now, what we've been doing for the past 42 minutes, is something that I wish we did more in school. | |
And that is to sit back and just think. | |
Just think. | |
That's all. | |
And if I could possibly teach you one thing, if there's one thing, and to my dear friend, I love him, but he always wants to have an answer. | |
He always wants to answer the question. | |
He always wants to answer the question. | |
Don't answer the question. | |
Ask the question. | |
Keep asking questions. | |
Ask. | |
Don't answer. | |
There's a joke. | |
One of my favorite jokes. | |
Only one person that I know has ever understood it. | |
And the joke is, what's another word for a thesaurus? | |
That's the joke. | |
Because a thesaurus is a book of other words, and you want to know what's the other word for a book of other words. | |
That's the joke. | |
Boom. | |
You don't answer the question. | |
You don't answer the question. | |
And he got it. | |
Everybody else answers the question. | |
Uh, dictionary? | |
No, you missed the point. | |
No. | |
No. | |
There's no joke. | |
How many vegans does it take to change a light bulb? | |
I'm better than you. | |
You get it? | |
Or not? | |
Watch what happens when... | |
That's why the thing I love about... | |
I love subtle... | |
That's not a real rip-snort or ha-ha-ha. | |
But I say, ooh, I got your point. | |
In today's comedy, there's no... | |
Never. | |
That's the fun part. | |
Why do you think that is? | |
Why? | |
Why does that... | |
Why? | |
Why? | |
And I know I always tell people, don't worry about why. | |
But don't answer the question. | |
Just ask the why. | |
Because it's the question that's the most important. | |
It's the question. | |
That's the thing. | |
And if you ever go to law school, you will spend your entire time talking about the questions. | |
Burglary is the entering or remaining in a structured dwelling or convenience with the intention of committing an offense therein. | |
A felony? | |
A misdemeanor? | |
What about at night? | |
Do you have to be at night? | |
Do you have to break anything? | |
Can you go in? | |
What if you went in and you stayed there, but you didn't break in? | |
What if you went in, changed your mind, and said, you know what, I'm going to stay here. | |
I'm going to wait until it closes. | |
I'm going to go into Bergdorf Goodman's, go into the men's room, hang out, hide, and then later on at night, I'm going to come out and steal stuff. | |
Is that burglary? | |
I went in. | |
I was invited in. | |
I didn't break it because there was that trust. | |
And they just sit there forever breaking these things down. | |
I love that. | |
I love that. | |
Oh my God. | |
There was a story today in the Times or the Post. | |
Somebody said, what do you refer to as a psychopath? | |
What is a psychopath? | |
Well, I don't know. | |
Why are you using that word? | |
I don't know. | |
Somebody said, oh, look at him. | |
Look at someone. | |
He's laying on his stomach. | |
I said, what do you mean? | |
He's lying on his abdomen. | |
He's not in his stomach. | |
His stomach's an organ. | |
Whatever. | |
My whole world is whatever. | |
No, it's a big difference. | |
You're saying something that's not true. | |
Well, whatever. | |
No, no, there isn't. | |
No, no, no, no, no, no. | |
This is important. | |
This is critical. | |
This is it, my friends. | |
This is it. | |
How do you spell that? | |
How do you spell that noise? | |
P-F-G-H. | |
Not every sound can be spelled. | |
How do you spell? | |
There's this one African, you know, that clicking, they put an exclamation point. | |
Just think about this. | |
Just think, think, think, think, think, think. | |
Just think. | |
Don't answer questions. | |
Don't answer. | |
Don't always think you've got to say something profound. | |
Don't ever think you've got to, well, the reason for this is because, no, no, no, no, no, no, wait, wait, wait. | |
Keep going. | |
Keep thinking. | |
Keep thinking. | |
That's the most fun. | |
I'll never understand why sometimes people, if you're doing a crossword puzzle, why somebody wants to see the answers. | |
I say, why? | |
What's the point? | |
I like the can't figure it out thing. | |
I love Wordle. | |
Any Wordle fans? | |
I love Wordle. | |
Love it. | |
I love sticking with the problem. | |
Sometimes I'll get it. | |
Sometimes I don't. | |
I mean, I normally get them. | |
But I see people and they're looking to see what... | |
I don't understand it. | |
So my dear friends, all I say to you is simply this. | |
Enjoy thinking. | |
Let me also tell you something right now. | |
It is critical that you follow me on Twitter. | |
You are missing some of the best stuff. | |
And on Twitter, they don't know what to do. | |
Here is my Twitter. | |
That's it. | |
I love Twitter. | |
Twitter is... | |
Instagram, I don't have any... | |
I don't have any time for it. | |
I don't have pictures. | |
I don't really know what to do. | |
I'm not really, really sure how this thing works. | |
Let me also remind you, before, my Patriot Supply, which is so critical. | |
Here it is as well. | |
And by the way, all of my sponsors are listed below, are listed accordingly. | |
Please, please, please. | |
Everything, they support us. | |
My EMP shield is my new favorite. | |
Electromagnetic pulse? | |
Oh my God! | |
Have you seen this? | |
I've talked about this before. | |
This is the one I think this is, for lack of a better word, and I don't use this word, but I will, the coolest thing I have ever seen. | |
Electromagnetic pulse attacks. | |
This is what I would be if I were doing a bomb. | |
I wouldn't kill anybody. | |
I wouldn't want to kill anybody, but I would want to wipe out. | |
There's the link right there. | |
I would wipe out your grid. | |
EMP Shield, you've got to see this. | |
This is so smart. | |
This is what I want. | |
Do you have any kind of device where you put your passport, credit card? | |
Do you have a particular shield? | |
I do. | |
How about your driver's license? | |
A little shield? | |
Yes. | |
Think privacy. | |
Think. | |
Think. | |
How many people when you go out, maybe you don't do this, but when you go outside, do you use a VPN? | |
VPNs are really neat because they don't know where you are. | |
Well, where are you? | |
Well, it says I'm over here, but I'm going to go over here. | |
A friend of mine says he gets cheaper airline tickets if he buys a ticket as though he's from Swaziland or wherever he thinks. | |
Isn't that great? | |
Oh, I love it. | |
Am I here? | |
Where am I? | |
Also, I want you to follow Mrs. L. Mrs. L. Oh, here we go. | |
Oh, yes. | |
You must follow her. | |
And you must subscribe to her. | |
You know, she's got a brand new radio show on TNT. | |
I'm going to give you that as well. | |
It's a beaut. | |
And you must follow her. | |
You must follow her on Twitter. | |
You must follow her on Twitter. | |
Where is she? | |
I'm going to put this right up. | |
At Lynn's Warriors. | |
At Lynn's Warriors. | |
There we go. | |
At Lens Warriors. | |
There we go. | |
So good. | |
You should hear her on these... | |
How should I say this? | |
On some of these radio shows. | |
I'm so proud of her. | |
She just spins out of control. | |
I taught her everything she knows. | |
But not everything I know. | |
Remember that old joke? | |
She does these things that are so good. | |
And she has no idea. | |
She has no earthly idea how good she is. | |
None. | |
I was listening to a radio show. | |
It sounded like two people sitting in the living room just talking. | |
And do you know what the hardest part about this is? | |
Listen to me carefully. | |
Do you know what the hardest part about this is? | |
If you want to do this? | |
It's me talking to you and making you think that I'm talking to you. | |
And not that I'm broadcasting. | |
It's the hardest thing in the world for me. | |
And this is a goal of mine. | |
It's not always possible. | |
For me to feel, for you to feel that I'm talking to you. | |
Okay? | |
That's it. | |
If you can do that, that's half the battle. | |
Most people talk with the audience. | |
They don't even care. | |
They're not even listening. | |
They don't even care. | |
They're just talking to themselves or talking to other people. | |
I don't like that. | |
Alright, my friends. | |
One more time. | |
Saturday, Saturday, Saturday. | |
Cutting room. | |
I want to meet you. | |
Bring your camera. | |
Bring your friends. | |
Bring your mind. | |
Bring your heart. | |
Bring your soul. | |
We're going to do that. | |
Now tomorrow, I've got to do a radio show. | |
What's better? | |
Earlier or later? | |
Is 8 o 'clock Eastern better? | |
Or is 10 o 'clock Eastern better? | |
Let me ask you right now. | |
Doesn't matter to me. | |
I'm up at like 4 a.m. every day. | |
Doesn't matter. | |
Do you want? | |
Do you want 8 a.m. Eastern Time? | |
Whatever that equivalents. | |
I like these neologies. | |
I'm spewing them. | |
8 a.m. or 10 a.m.? | |
Which one works better? | |
We're going to stick with 9 because I know it will change. | |
8 works. | |
See, 10's better. | |
See, Carol says 10. 8. Puff says 8 o 'clock. | |
Come on, let's go. | |
Write something. | |
You may have 350 people. | |
Ten? | |
Yeah, I think ten. | |
I think ten's better. | |
Yeah, I think ten's better. | |
I think ten's better. | |
Because I'll be able to tell you what I just did. | |
Alright, ten o 'clock it is. | |
So that's when it is. | |
Alright, my friends. | |
Have a great and glorious day. | |
Thank you so, so very much for all that you've done, all that you've appeared to do or attempted to do. | |
See you tomorrow. | |
10 a.m. for just tomorrow. | |
But before, that's a different time. | |
In any event, thank you so much. | |
Have a great and glorious day. | |
And don't forget, the monkey's dead. | |
The show's over. | |
Sue ya. |