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Protecting Your Future
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| I am asking and respectfully requesting the honor of your presence on January the 14th as I return yet again to my official venue here in New York City, The Cutting Room. | |
| The Cutting Room is a, well, it's a veritable, I don't want to say a mecca, I don't want to use the incorrect word, but it is the Wellspring, the Citus, the Polestar, it is the best venue for what I do. | |
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Why Stand-Up Comedy Is Dead
00:09:50
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| And I want you to join me on January the 14th of 2023. | |
| Can you believe this? | |
| Yes, we're singing. | |
| As in the next year. | |
| Tickets are available below. | |
| Let me tell you what I do. | |
| First, it's not stand-up comedy. | |
| I'm going to say a few things to you first and foremost as I intersperse my observations of the world with my entreaty to you to join me. | |
| First, this is not stand-up comedy. | |
| I hate stand-up comedy. | |
| Stand-up comedy is dead. | |
| The reason why it's dead is because it's everywhere. | |
| It is so ubiquitous. | |
| It is so, you've seen this. | |
| Why do I want to go see someone? | |
| And you might disagree. | |
| But if I have seen every single thing they've ever done, I know their new material, I know their style, I get to watch it again. | |
| There was a time when people would actually go out to see people because they just never, you never saw them. | |
| You never saw them. | |
| Think about that. | |
| Now granted, times have changed. | |
| It was a time when we used to travel 300 miles to see a fat man who weighed maybe 300 pounds. | |
| Today, kids weigh 300 pounds, but that's a different story. | |
| I hate stand-up. | |
| A couple of reasons. | |
| First, it seems to have been, dare I say, infiltrated with people who are not even remotely Possessed with any artistic ability to wax comedic. | |
| I'm sorry, I don't mean to be that rude, but it's true. | |
| There are some greats, don't get me wrong, I'm not going to go through them. | |
| There are some who I think are formulaically and formalistically, in terms of the formatics, they're absolutely textbook perfect in delivery. | |
| And the reason, now listen carefully, The reason is that what you are seeing is the burnished, polished, tightly choreographed wording of a routine, of a bit, of a recitation that's been done many, many times. | |
| At the cutting room one time, after one of my shows, immediately following was Dave Chappelle. | |
| So I kind of opened for Dave Chappelle, sort of. | |
| And it was fascinating because he was trying his new material, working things out, which is what Carlin did, everybody else did. | |
| And it's a very, very smart and wise thing to do. | |
| In fact, the best thing to do is to give people the impression that what you're doing is almost off the cuff. | |
| So he is... | |
| Extremely wise and extremely expert at this. | |
| But not everybody is. | |
| They just closed Caroline's in New York City. | |
| Caroline's was the venue of venues. | |
| I played there many, many times. | |
| Because I've been doing and did do what used to be called stand-up comedy from 90... | |
| Oh, God. | |
| Almost 30 years ago. | |
| In 93? | |
| 93? | |
| Played everywhere. | |
| Because New York, years ago, was a comedy showcase in Jersey, Connecticut, and New York. | |
| I played Bronx and all the boroughs and name it. | |
| Name it. | |
| Atlantic City. | |
| And it was a much, much different time. | |
| Something happened concomitantly to the world of comedy. | |
| And by the way, remember, what I'm doing is not comedy. | |
| I'll explain in a moment. | |
| What happened was, and I don't want to use this term, but I will. | |
| This radical left, but mean, mean, angry, scattered, kind of a diffuse, this blunderbuss, we hate Trump, this isn't very funny. | |
| What I do is simply this. | |
| Number one, and despite what you might think, I start off with the premise that I let the situation Lure me into it. | |
| I find things very funny, not necessarily because of my particular take, but because of what they are. | |
| Now what I do, and here's the payoff for five minutes if you're waiting for me. | |
| What I love to do, and we did this last time at the cutting room, we had some 3x5 cards left at all of the tables with little pencils. | |
| Like scorecard pencils when you play golf or bowl. | |
| Anyway. | |
| They would write the questions out. | |
| And the questions were brilliant. | |
| Brilliant! | |
| Which made me think. | |
| And it made me respond. | |
| And it made me talk to you. | |
| It made me respond to you. | |
| And to others who were saying, yeah, that's pretty good. | |
| Now, The reason why stand-up comedy cannot do that is because you cannot have interactional interchange and exchanges because of the fact that it throws off the pattern. | |
| One time somebody said, do you mind if I go on? | |
| Can I go on? | |
| Yeah, sure, help comics, I guess. | |
| Because I have a tight five. | |
| I didn't know what that meant. | |
| A tight five? | |
| What does that mean? | |
| He goes, he worked forever on five minutes. | |
| My first professional act ever in this area was at the Claridge in Atlantic City. | |
| I did it over an hour. | |
| I didn't know you didn't talk an hour. | |
| I did not know. | |
| Nobody said, you know you're not supposed to go an hour. | |
| You're just starting off. | |
| I had no idea. | |
| I couldn't stop. | |
| Because the world, the world is my... | |
| It's my set list. | |
| The world is my tight five. | |
| The world is my... | |
| How do I say this? | |
| It's the basis of this. | |
| So what I also do is I intersperse it with bluegrass. | |
| I play the guitar. | |
| Cut bucket. | |
| Country funk. | |
| Bluegrass. | |
| I will pattern some songs that I write myself. | |
| Most stylishly penned. | |
| There'll be a sing-along, perhaps. | |
| But it would be a combination and an admixture of me talking about things plus you. | |
| Now, if you think I'm going to go out and extol the virtues of Carmelita Harris and Joe Biden, I'm going to tell you right now, that is not the case. | |
| I'm warning you right now that I can almost guarantee you that there is, I think I say this, nothing that I find favorable, but absolutely funny and hysterical, anented regarding Mr. Biden et al. | |
| So please, do me a favor. | |
| Do me the favor. | |
| Join me and groups of your like-minded fellow travelers on January the 14th in New York City. | |
| Now, let me explain something to be very, very clear. | |
| New York is open and ready for business. | |
| I don't know what you've heard. | |
| I don't know what you're thinking. | |
| If this is like some death wish, you know, crime, this maelstrom, this vortex of Gomorrah. | |
| No. | |
| No. | |
| You should see this. | |
| You should see Christmas. | |
| It's beautiful. | |
| Rockefeller Center, as we speak right now, it is incredible. | |
| So I want you to join me again. | |
| I'm going to have the information, the tickets available below, as usual, which makes a lot of sense. | |
| And the tour, by the way, is called Slouching Towards Armageddon. | |
| And for those of you who might remember Yeats and the Joan Didion essay, Slouching Towards Bethlehem, this is indeed the hearkening, the anticipatory, yet pythonic, vatic. | |
| Announcement of an apocalyptic denouement. | |
| Eschatological, perhaps. | |
| I don't want to get too heavy about this, but that's exactly what it is. | |
| Because right now, we are in a world that doesn't exist, has never existed, and the rules make no sense whatsoever. | |
| So please, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, thank you so much for being a part of my presentations through the years. | |
| Thank you for liking this and retweeting and subscribing. | |
| But please join me. | |
| I promise you. | |
| And also, you get to meet like-minded individuals. | |
| I shake every hand. | |
| I'm not one of these, hey, how are you? | |
| Out the door. | |
| This is about a movement. | |
| It is about A grand and glorious time that we, as brave and as intrepid and frankly petrified patriots, can certainly enjoy. | |
| So anyway, thank you so, so very much. | |
| January 14th. | |
| Stage time. | |
| Curtain is at 7. Doors open at 6. Great venue. | |
| Great food. | |
| An institution in New York City. | |
| One of the, dare I say, coolest venues, the Cutting Room. | |
| Tickets available below. | |
| Thank you so much. | |
| Have a great and a glorious day. | |