All Episodes
Previous Next
July 30, 2022 - Lionel Nation
01:01:44
Can You Hear the Trumpet of Disintegration?

Sound the klaxon! The first order of dismantling is upon us.

| Copy link to current segment

Time Text
When uncertainty strikes, peace of mind is priceless.
Dirty Man Underground Safes protects what matters most.
Discreetly designed, these safes are where innovation meets reliability, keeping your valuables close yet secure.
Be ready for anything.
Use code DIRTY10 for 10% off today and take the first step towards safeguarding your future.
Dirty Man's Safe.
Because protecting your family starts with protecting what you treasure.
The storm is coming.
Markets are crashing.
Banks are closing.
When the economy collapses, how will you survive?
You need a plan.
Cash, gold, bitcoin.
Dirty man safes keep your assets hidden underground at a secret location ready for any crisis.
Don't wait for disaster to strike.
Get your Dirty Man safe today.
Use promo code DIRTY10 for 10% off your order.
Disaster can strike when least expected.
Wildfires, hurricanes, tornadoes, earthquakes.
They can instantly turn your world upside down.
Dirty Man underground safes is a safeguard against chaos.
Hidden below, your valuables remain protected no matter what.
Prepare for the unexpected.
Use code DIRTY10 for 10% off and secure peace of mind for you and your family.
Dirty man safe.
When disaster hits, security isn't optional.
Good day, friends.
Good day and welcome to this thing of ours.
I welcome you.
I say a hearty hello and a hi-yo, Silver.
Let me thank you for taking your time out.
Thank you for taking your moments from your important day to spend with us.
It means a lot to us.
Let me also give you the Prefatory Prolegomenon, the introductory, the praise to you, the Prefatory Statement that is, of course, part and parcel of all ventures on the YouTube.
Please like, We are in algorithmic squalor.
Apparently we need every indication, every indicium of your like and connection.
And we ask you unabashedly to please like us.
Please, please like us, love us, subscribe.
Please subscribe.
And also hit that bell so you'll be notified of the tube that commences and the various tube things that we do.
Before we go on, let me explain to you something, which I think I need to kind of remind you of every now and then.
Because I think it's important, I think it's critical that we do this.
A little bit about me.
I'm a song and dance man, but...
Now, I am not a Republican.
I despise Republicans.
And I abhor woke folks.
There's a kind of a centrist, moderate...
Rational person out there that I think most of us can kind of sort of deal with if those direction labels make any sense today.
But I want to talk to you about something which is the most important.
First of all, it's this thing called the climate that we'll talk about.
Of course, as we know, Joe Biden's numbers are imploding.
38%, the lowest in recorded history and going lower.
There is no end to his free fall.
No end to the implosion.
No end.
Nothing.
Nothing.
There is nothing that we have ever seen.
Nothing.
It's off the charts.
It's undeniable.
And not that I care about him or his family one bit, but they're going to just let him rot.
They're going to set him up and just let him rot.
They don't care.
Do you understand what I'm saying?
They simply don't care.
They're doing the same thing to Muriel Bowser, the mayor of D.C. She did everything she was told to do.
Everything.
And Greg Abbott says, great, we're going to send, which is one of the most brilliant moves ever, we're going to send Put these people on buses and send them to D.C. Now, I'm going to say something, and I know that you're going to have a hard time understanding this, but I'm going to say this.
Anybody who tries to come to this country to help their family, my heart goes to them and for them and goes out for them.
Child traffickers, human traffickers, no.
Drug dealers, no.
But people who come, and people who are played and toyed and put on buses, and you go here and you go there, no, no, no.
This is something that we will never say.
You know, we talk about, well, our recession.
Recession?
We don't even know the beginning of poverty.
Poverty is, we don't even know what the word means.
We don't even understand it.
Some do.
But most of us do not, and will not, and thank God for that.
But they are setting him up.
Like you cannot believe.
Which makes me think one of two things.
Number one, they've got something planned because they know this.
Number two, there is the perfect opportunity that will be yet again ignored by the Republicans.
And so my advice to you was never ever think Oh, this is going to go this way.
Oh, he's going to be out of office.
He is going to be done.
He's not going to be in office anymore.
Isn't that great?
Isn't that just wonderful?
Isn't that great news?
No.
He's been in office for 555 days.
We have to go to January 20th of 2025.
He is out.
Do you hear what I'm saying?
2025.
Now, we can argue, is he going to be there?
Are they going to bring in what's-her-name?
I don't know.
I mean, we can play this because there's one thing you have to learn about these folks.
You can't predict anything.
Whatever you think makes sense doesn't apply to them.
But I want to tell you about something right now.
And I want you to listen very, very carefully.
I want you to listen...
About a wonderful event we had.
Mrs. L and I had a wonderful evening last night which I want to share with you.
I want to talk a little bit about climate.
I want to talk about phraseology.
This sounds very, very boring, but it's not.
It is absolutely not boring in the least.
It is that critical and that important for you to know.
But first I want to say something before we forget.
I'm going to say this, and I'm going to treat you like an adult, and this is not a hard sell or anything like that.
There is going to be a food emergency coming.
It is not a maybe.
It is going to come.
And it's going to be in a variety of reasons, either because of climate change, global warming, supply chain, Putin, some type of post-Ukraine grain battle.
I don't know.
They will give you a reason.
They will blame it.
But it's going to happen.
And you are going to be on your own.
And you're going to see stores close.
And when one store closes, another store closes.
And then people are going to start going crazy.
And the stores are going to want to close because it's not safe to stay open.
Because tempers flare.
And people get crazy.
And people lose their minds.
We're the only country that goes crazy.
Used to go crazy at Christmas time.
To smash the window of a Best Buy to get a big screen TV that we could afford.
Imagine food.
So right now, very, very simply.
Simple, rather.
Go to preparewithlionel.com because you can get right now.
You have to have food stockpiled.
It's that simple.
The best deal possible.
The best deal possible.
The three month.
Emergency food supply.
You can save $150.
2,000 calories a day.
21 varieties up to a 25-year shelf life.
Tasty, delicious, toothsome vines and vittles of breakfast, lunches, dinners, drinks, snacks.
In resealable, heavy-duty, four-layer pouches with oxygen absorbers.
That's what we all need, especially on hot days, if you know what I mean.
It weighs 120 pounds.
Made in the USA.
Made in the USA.
No MSG added.
Sealed in six rugged water resistance buckets.
Look at this.
And you build things.
You go today and you buy this.
But you go to preparewithlionel.com.
Because let me just say this to you.
If you don't use that code word, if you don't use that site, we don't get credit.
And they are promoting us.
They're keeping us alive.
They're our sponsor, and we return the favor, and it's the best thing you can possibly do.
I cannot endorse this enough.
That's all.
PrepareWithLino.com.
Get a three-month emergency food supply.
Three months per person.
Ninety days.
Look at this.
You cannot, if you think you can just say, well, I'll put some cans of stuff.
Not like this.
No.
They have thought this thing through.
I'm not trying to belittle you.
God bless you.
You'd have that as well.
But this is guaranteed.
And you keep building and building and stockpiling.
It's called food independence.
PrepareWithLionel.com Go to the website right now.
PrepareWithLionel.com You get a three month emergency food supply right now.
Right now.
It's just...
PrepareWithLionel.com Now, let me tell you what happened.
Last night, this is Elle and I had an evening out.
We haven't been doing that in a long time.
So we gassed up the Yugo, a stretch, took it out, and we went downtown to a place called the Angelica.
The Angelica is a wonderful New York art house, classic, storied place.
It's wonderful.
I haven't been in that place in...
I don't know if I have been...
I think the last time was a film for him.
So we went to see this film called A Love Song, correct?
Okay.
A Love Song.
A Love Song.
Yeah, you keep saying A Love Story is A Love Song.
And it was, well, I don't want to, it was so funny, we were hysterically laughing.
And you're not supposed to be laughing.
We were hysterically laughing by the people in the audience with their masks, their N95 snouts.
It looks like a snout, like a feed bag, like one of those dogs that we should have little cones we wear, like dogs that can't bite, muzzles.
It's the most stupid thing in the world.
I'm sorry, you're walking around with a mask now.
They say, what are you doing?
But they like that.
One girl, when she was out, she had kind of like a...
I don't know.
Not an evening.
I don't know the word for it.
This is kind of a strap with arms covered in tattoos.
This is kind of a hipster.
You had the old farts and the young people.
Okay, fine.
If you see this and they love this.
Oh, this is the most incredible movie.
Write down all the things that are wrong with it.
When you say, what?
They had a Q&A after.
People say, yeah, I was wondering like Did you, like, find the political thing?
What are you talking about?
Who are the...
This is the director.
Give me Sidney Lumet, Scorsese.
Give me Spielberg, Bogdanovich, Pakula, Brian De Palma.
Who are these...
What are you talking about?
One person kept starting a sentence with the word like.
And I'm going to say, pardon me, pardon me, excuse me.
Yes, I'm in the back here.
Just want to say something.
Like should be as.
Remember, Winston tastes good.
Like a cigarette should.
And the average should be as.
Remember that years ago?
Ask your parents.
Now, if you're saying, you know, this tastes like blueberries, I got it.
If you said, you know, I was so, like, scared.
Okay, alright.
But you cannot start a sentence with like.
Like, hold it, time out.
Like what?
You didn't say anything.
You can't start with like.
Like has to be in response to something else.
Years ago, there was an urban thing where people would say, you know what I'm saying?
Do you know what I'm saying?
What?
Do you know what I'm saying?
There was also a thing like the so-called.
That was a big deal.
The so-called politician would deal with the so-called...
Excuse me.
No, it's a politician.
Yes.
The so-called covalent bond.
No, it's a covalent bond.
So-called is like italicized.
It means it's not real.
It's a legend.
Don't say so-called just as some kind of sentence hamburger helper just to fill in the blanks.
So, you're so-called...
Excuse me.
And your so-called social security.
Big city, turn me loose and set me free.
Merle Haggard.
I used to love this.
You know what I'm saying?
Excuse me.
Yes, you just started.
You can't say, do you know what I'm saying?
You haven't said anything for me to know what you're saying.
I will tolerate you using like or do you know what I'm saying?
But you cannot start off.
Okay.
So meanwhile, you got the troughs.
You got this croup.
But I got to tell you this one thing real quick.
Just stop.
Let me just tell you the story.
A while back, somebody said, hey, would you like to pick your seat?
Okay.
Yeah, sure.
Here's your seating.
I'm getting tickets online.
Okay, there you go.
Beef one.
Okay, these two aisles.
If you ever walk in, the place is empty.
But it says J3 and 4. The hell with the J3 and 4?
There's nobody here.
Yeah, you're right.
It's anywhere you want.
There's nobody here.
J3 and 4 as if it's...
And last night, surprisingly, it was sold out.
That's all they said.
Anyway.
Did you ever go when somebody says, Excuse me?
Yes.
That's my seat.
There's nobody here.
I know.
You're kidding me, right?
No, my ticket.
Yeah, I know your ticket says that, but there's nobody here.
Do you have any particular romantic connection with J3 and 4?
What they are is, they're Karens.
They're these fastidious, punctilious, priggish, Karen mask types, mask holes, who drive me nuts.
And it's not a very long ride.
So anyway, I just did a video on this.
I explained in greater detail my utter contempt for these people.
So anyway, I've got to explain something to you.
During the course of this Q&A, somebody asked the dumbest question about climate change.
And if you want to hear the whole story, LionelMedia.com, I explain it.
But here's the most important thing.
The director, who acted like he was In pain.
Like, he was in pain every question.
How did you decide whether to put the basin of the...
Like...
You know...
Oh, dear God.
Remember Charlie Rose?
Sidney Lumet, who was a genius.
John Ford.
Hitchcock.
Anyway.
He said something about climate change.
He goes, the horror of the...
I don't know.
There was this one particular scene where they said, yep, the dialogue, the entire dialogue, you could have probably put on a postage.
There's no dialogue.
They just kind of...
So I wanted to raise my hand and say, excuse me, there was a scene you mentioned where somebody says, yeah, there used to be water in that lake.
Do you know, sorry to bug you kids, I didn't do this, but I wanted to.
And I know you don't mean well, but do you know the Bonneville Salt Flats?
Yeah.
Do you know why they're called the Salt Flats?
Because there was water there.
You know the Grand Canyon?
You know what used to be in the Grand Canyon?
Anybody?
Water.
Do you know that we are basically the world at one point before it receded was water.
Lakes dry up.
Have you ever seen Plymouth Rock.
Who's seen Plymouth Rock?
Anybody?
Anybody seen Plymouth Rock?
I think I saw that one time as a kid.
I think we were on a vacation or something.
I remember looking and going, that's it?
It's not really it, but that's it?
That's it.
It's right there on the water.
Did you ever see Plymouth Rock?
Water hasn't risen since 1620 or whatever it was.
There are these things that sometimes, yeah, that's...
Shoreline changing, the Holocene maxima, the Hipsy thermals, there have been...
Just look around you.
Water we see, water moons, tectonic, continental...
Do you know anything?
So when you look and say, yeah, there was...
There used to be water in that lake.
I know that's fundamentally critical to your sense of well-being.
And I know this is sheer devastating to you.
The idea of water not being there.
But here is the question.
And this is my hypothetical question which I ask you and I want everybody to say.
Assuming...
Arguendo, for the sake of argument, versus an innuendo, which is an Italian suppository.
But assuming, arguendo, that there is this thing called climate change, global warming, whatever it is, whatever it is, I will stipulate to that.
I will say that the planet is warmer today than it was then.
Whatever you say, I will, for the sake of this exercise, stipulate wholeheartedly.
Here's my question.
What would you like me to do?
What would you like the government to do?
What would you like the world to do?
What would you like us to do?
Let me stop right there.
Let me stop.
Let's put that argument over here for just one second.
Just for a second.
Now, let me give you an example of how their answer sounds, and I will tell you what their answer is, because the answer is, they don't know.
Imagine if I said, We are overfishing the oceans.
And we are.
I'm 100% in them.
What do you suggest?
You're kidding me, Sherlock.
Stop overfishing the oceans.
Got it?
Good.
Number two.
We are polluting rivers.
Rivers, lakes, brackish, stagnant, fetid, putrescent, because of spillage.
What would you like to do?
Clean the rivers.
Clean them.
Environmental regulations.
Stop.
Got it?
Good.
Keep going.
Genocide.
This is the easiest.
Genocide.
What would you like to do?
Stop committing genocide.
Thank you!
So you got it?
This is the way most plans work.
I don't understand this.
The snail darter is going to become extinct.
Help the snail darter, whatever the hell that means.
I don't know what you're going to do, but okay?
You got that?
It's very simple.
The air is...
We used to care about air pollution.
The air is dirty.
What do we got to do?
Well, we have to do something about exhaust and smog and...
Great!
Right, wrong, indifferent, whatever it is.
GMOs are a problem.
GMOs, genetically modified, manufactured, you know, that are removing, killing biodiversity.
What would you like?
Stop them, or at least label them.
Got it.
You got that?
Okay, good.
Now let me return back to these people.
In my...
Angelica Theatre Group.
What would you like me to do to correct global warming or climate change?
Even more vague.
Climate change.
What does that change mean?
As though the climate is static.
You know, Jerry's going through a growth change right now.
He's 13 years old.
I know.
That's normal.
It is?
Yes.
Okay.
Now, tumor growth is never good.
It could be benign, but it's not good.
It could be a lipoma.
It could be something.
Different story.
Okay.
Back to my issue.
What would you like to do here?
Anyone?
Moondog.
What about you?
Anybody?
What would you like me to do?
And that's where it ends.
What would you like?
Please do this for me.
Pick anybody you know and just say, listen, I'm here.
I've got my notepad ready.
You tell me where I am.
I've got my pencil out, too, and I'm ready to go.
Just tell me right now just what I can do, what I can do to stop climate change.
Go ahead.
You don't have any answer?
No.
Well, what do you want to do?
Tell me what I can do.
What do we do?
And pray, they say, for renewables, solar, electric, you know, electrovoltaic, Tesla, electric cars.
Please pray, pray, pray, they say that.
Wind?
Did you want wind?
Good.
Thank you.
Let me write this down.
Wind?
And what else?
Electric cars.
Oh, you sound like Pete Booty Giggity Giggity Giggity.
Okay, good.
Got it.
And then you sit back and say, have a seat, Moondog and Starchild.
Have a seat here.
Nice tats.
Nah.
Do you know what, let me ask you, what, what, what, what powers the grid?
Please tell me that.
Anybody?
Take your time.
What powers?
You take your...
Tesla?
Do you have people in your garage?
Oh, look.
We were at the Woodrow Wilson incoming.
Woodrow Wilson welcome center, rest center, rest stop on the Jersey Turnpike.
The Woodrow Wilson rest stop.
It was fantastic.
And they had Tesla plug-in.
You could plug your Tesla I guess for, I don't know how long you're going to plug them, but I think it takes a long time.
Anyway, you plug this thing in.
Now, what is it?
Coal.
Fossil fuels.
Correct.
There was a fellow last night, the good and the absolutely heretical Tucker Carlson had a very nice man on.
He was I think he has his BA.
He's a congressperson from Kentucky.
Massey, I believe.
And he was talking about it takes more power.
You can read this for yourself.
To charge your car, then it'll be like a hundred.
Then to run your air conditioning and whatever it is.
So, let me stop.
Let me go back.
To this group, and I'm going to say, excuse me, Moondog, so you think that having an electric car that does not emit, is that it?
Let me put words in your mouth.
That does not emit exhaust.
That that non-emission, that sizable decrease in emitted automobile exhaust, and truck, and I guess diesel, whatever.
Anyway.
That that would make a, and here's the key word, a significant impact on changing or reversing or stabilizing through some kind of stasis, if you will, climate change.
Is that what you're saying?
And watch their face.
They're saying, you know it's funny, if they were honest, you know it's funny, I don't even know.
I guess, yeah.
So that's the reason.
The reason why Lake Pititanka in Colorado, the reason why it's not there anymore is because of car exhaust.
Please help me with that.
I want you to understand this.
Pressure them.
Hold them accountable.
Ask them to explain this.
Don't leave until they explain this.
You can't leave.
Say, no, no, no.
Moondog, Starchild, I've locked the door.
We're not leaving.
This is a false imprisonment.
I just really want to know.
You have to tell me this.
Now, how am I going to get people in India and China and Russia and the rest of the world to do this?
How do I get them to stop running their air conditioning?
How do I get them to stop...
With their own coal power.
How do I do that?
How do I do this?
It's wonderful.
If one person wears a mask, maybe this will help you.
If one person wears a mask and nobody else does, how does that help spread COVID or monkeypox or whatever you think it does?
They can't answer the question.
They cannot answer the question.
I don't understand that.
What do you think it's going to do?
And turbines?
I haven't even begun to hit you with big propellers.
Do you know anything about wind turbines?
I don't know.
They have no idea.
Let me just tell you something.
This is critical.
This is critical because what they are doing now is the Biden administration is saying not only is everything carbon, from Janet Yellen to you name it.
And by the way, have you noticed how much this dysphonic, not dystonia, but this Janet Yellen, kind of a Susan Collins.
Have you noticed how more and more and more spasmodic dysphonia?
Have you noticed more and more?
I'm just saying.
I've never heard more in recent years than I've ever...
Remember Nathan Thurm?
This was Martin Short's character.
I knew that.
I knew that.
I'm very nervous.
That's what it sounds like.
So, we're not done yet.
We're not done yet.
The Biden administration will say that every answer to everything, anything, is either something about carbon, whatever it is, or trans rights, trans genders, trans freedom, trans phobia, trans, trans.
Not LGBT.
Trans, trans, trans, trans, trans.
Now, it's Everywhere.
It is everywhere.
Those two things.
Meanwhile, the economy, because we're beyond the idea that they want to admit it's a recession.
We're done.
It doesn't matter whether he says it or not.
It doesn't matter.
It doesn't matter.
It really, seriously, does not matter what he says anymore, as far as that goes.
But we have never seen anything.
And what I would love to tell, especially this newer brand of folks, is while you keep saying climate change, this is your...
Well, what are you going to do?
It's their version of stuff.
Stuff is that word that we use.
Not the Carlin term.
But when we say, well, you know, the world.
It's crime and stuff.
That's their thing.
This is how they assuage.
Through this kind of emotional ablution.
This is the way they signal to you a cooperative participation in the world dialogue, as far as climate change, and they can't explain anything.
Now, interestingly enough, you're going to love this, right before this thing, this film last night, I happened to catch, it was an AFI, A little trailer, American Film Institute.
And they had Dennis Hopper and Peter Fonda talking about Easy Rider.
Easy Rider was the first film of its kind that really spoke to a generation.
They made all their money back on the film from one theater, the run in New York.
It was that popular.
It was the most important.
It was one of the most stupid movies ever, but at the time, it was kind of like this thing I saw, we saw.
So anyway, Peter Fonda was talking along with Dennis Hopper, and they were saying, you know, at the time, with the hatred, and it sounded almost identical, sort of, to what's being said today, except that what they said was actually tangible.
There was real racism.
Tangible, palpable, tenable, actual real racism that you can identify with people who were horrible.
There was a war.
Here, we want war.
We have people who believe in this Zelensky myth.
We're going to war.
Hey!
War!
If Edwin Starr sang war, what is it good for?
A lot!
War's great!
Give war a chance.
People who are saying, do you understand what's going on?
Do you know where this is?
I don't know.
Can you point to Ukraine on a map?
Do you understand what is happening with this?
No, not really.
I thought, oh my god.
There really was something to the 60s, at least to this movie.
They actually were talking about things that were...
Okay.
Incredible.
Incredible.
So I saw this last night and I kept thinking of you.
I wanted to share this with you.
And I'm seeing right now an absolute cultural wasteland.
A dearth, a paucity, a vacuum of talent and movie and film and music.
And even the boss.
The boss.
Say what you want about Bruce Springsteen.
He's written some incredible stuff.
And now he's a sellout.
What is it?
$4,300?
$5,000 a ticket?
Come on!
To hear what?
Now, new topic.
We have one alleged winner of the one Billion dollar mega prize.
In Illinois, how much do you get if you have one payout?
You walk in to see, give me 1.2 or whatever billion dollars.
How much do you take home after taxes?
It's still a good deal.
But from a billion dollars, how much do you keep?
do you think?
And if this doesn't tell you everything, I don't know what does.
What is it?
47?
Yeah.
470 million.
470 million out of 1.2 billion.
Plus your state taxes.
This is the thing that just, we just, taxation is nothing but robbery.
It is nothing but just holding a gun up and saying, you give me this.
That's it.
Give it to me.
Don't even ask.
Give it to me.
And I say, oh, we're dreaming.
I don't understand this dreaming business.
Now let me ask you a question.
How many tickets should you buy?
If you're interested, I know people say all the time, I don't buy tickets.
I know you don't do it.
You're non-participatory.
You don't like Facebook.
You don't care about stuff.
You don't do these.
I know.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay.
All right.
Great.
Thanks a lot.
Thanks for telling us this.
Now.
How many tickets do you buy?
What do you really need to buy?
Well, I got a friend of mine who bought eight.
I bought eight.
He bought eight.
Eight tickets.
Why eight?
Is it eight times the chance of winning?
No.
Let me give you this analogy.
You're going to love this one.
This is a probability.
I want you to imagine your standing Everybody standing shoulder to shoulder from, let's say, New York to Los Angeles, straight across the United States, over mountains or whatever it is, water, whatever this line is, you're standing there.
However many people there are.
How many millions of people just standing next to each other from New York to L.A. Okay?
Coast to coast, L.A. to Chicago.
Remember that Sade song?
Coast to coast, L.A. to Chicago.
That's coast to coast?
Anyway.
So you line up.
If you bought one ticket, you're on the FDR or wherever you are.
You're in New York City.
If you buy two tickets, you're now what is it?
A foot, let's say.
Closer to LA.
If you buy eight tickets, move in eight.
It's kind of like that.
It's kind of like that.
So to speak.
A lot of people say, what are the odds of things?
What are the odds?
What are the odds?
What does that mean?
What does that mean?
What do the odds mean?
Nobody ever explains this to you.
Nobody ever explains these words called the odds.
You've got the same chance of winning the lottery as you do getting hit by lightning.
What does that mean?
You have things that happen every single day in your life that are so monumentally incredible you don't even realize it.
Let me give you an example.
Get a deck of cards.
Go to anybody you know and say, here, pick seven cards.
Good.
Do you know the odds of you getting those cards?
In that order, do you know what that was?
Do you know what that is?
Do you?
It's one out of I don't know how many trillion or whatever.
It's infinitesimally small.
Yeah, but it doesn't mean anything to you.
What do you mean it doesn't mean anything to you?
Well, you got that right.
Yeah, but you just gave me seven questions.
Yes!
But people can be doing this, every person on the planet, You can be dealing seven cards and never come up with that figure in that order.
But it doesn't mean anything to you.
It should, because that was remarkable.
Think of how you met your spouse.
Think of the odds.
Think of one thing going wrong along the way.
And you would have never met your spouse in your 20s, 30s, or whatever it is.
Never.
Isn't that something?
You would have never, ever met...
Just one...
You take a left turn.
When you were in the fifth grade, you didn't move to when that...
You didn't do this.
You didn't go to this high school.
You didn't wear this shirt.
One change, seemingly irrelevant, that would have been felt through a cascade of domino changes, and you would have never met your spouse.
We do this all the time.
The very fact that you're born.
Do you know the facts, the odds of having a baby?
Dear God!
We used to go to this business, had an office in this one place, and the elevator was always, you stop at every floor.
So help me God, there was this one fertility clinic.
They got every floor.
All these people can't have children.
All of them.
I guess.
That's why they're there.
And if we got on a plane and said, let's go to Mumbai.
Look around, let's go to Mexico City.
Look at Beijing.
Jesus, look at this.
Having kids is nothing except for you.
For you, it's a big deal.
But for the rest of the world, what does that tell you?
So how rare is life?
For you, it's the most, you can't do it.
Somebody said to you, no, you're going to have a difficult time.
But for the rest of the world, there are people who are machines.
Baby machines.
Dear God.
Look at the odds.
So when we talk about odds, people talk about, well, you know, to play the lottery and all that.
And when you see these poor people and they say, take somebody out.
Every TV station has some stupid hack news director who says, send out the film crew and go out and ask these schmucks and these morons what they're going to do if they win the money.
I mean, it's a weird thing.
But here's the deal.
Do you wish?
I think wishing is the most dangerous thing.
Wishing and hoping.
Weird.
I don't like that.
I don't wish for nothing.
I plan it.
You say hope for the best, but that's it.
For me to say, I hope, I wish, no.
What are you doing to bring that on?
Nothing.
Well, that's silly.
Now listen, sometimes when somebody's very ill and you hope and you wish and you pray that they're okay, it's a different story.
We're not talking about that.
But I know people who are actually wishing.
Like, what do you mean?
Is this a prayer?
What do you tell me?
Take me through this wish.
You sit there and go, I want this.
Uh-huh.
Do you think that's healthy?
Well, a man can dream.
Dream?
Now you're dreaming?
Dreaming of what?
I don't understand this.
It's negative.
It's not good.
It's unrealistic.
Are you doing it?
Well, you do the best you can.
What are you going to do?
Wishing for this.
I always say, well, I'd like it.
It'd be nice.
I'm not going to wish for anything.
I don't understand that.
Wish, hope.
Praying is different.
I'll leave that one out.
Look at how demented.
Look at what we're seeing right now.
Just look at how many people with their...
Remember what I'm telling you.
You may not understand this now.
I understand if you don't.
Believe me.
You're missing the story if you don't go after behavior.
It's not what Biden does.
It's the reaction of people to Biden.
It doesn't matter what the Beatles did.
It's what the people reacted to the Beatles did.
That's what matters.
There's no such thing as an absolute value of worth or whatever.
It doesn't matter.
What is with our collective?
Explain...
See, I'm always thinking...
This is terrible.
I think that most people are just unimaginative, incurious, a little bit stupid, but just are so...
We have...
Something very serious has affected the level of smarts, creativity, the level of really...
It's gone.
It's gone.
There's something so strange.
Go back and listen to anybody on YouTube.
Listen to kids from the 70s.
Ask a question of their...
You know, whatever.
It started with the 60s.
It started with the 60s.
And it went downhill from there.
I'm serious.
Something very...
Alright.
I'm not going to answer that.
Okay.
That's fine.
That's fine.
Next.
I think we're off of that 9-11 Saudi thing.
I think we're gone.
I think we're done with that.
I think we're done with that one.
I hope so.
I think we're done.
Because that lasts one day.
Let me ask you, we're going to play a new game right now called Whatever Happened to Blank?
I'll start, then it's your time.
Everybody, let's play.
I'll go first.
Whatever happened to Julian Assange?
Did we ever just...
Where is he?
What are we going to do about him?
Are we going to...
Your turn.
What about you, honey?
Give me one...
Whatever happened to...
Whatever happened?
We just stopped talking about him one day.
Whatever happened to...
I see.
What is happening?
What is happening?
Mrs. L, Epstein.
Epstein, thank you so much.
Doug Miller, is that it?
Is, is, is that it?
Ghislaine Maxwell, is, is that all there is?
Is that all there is?
If that's all there is, my friend, then let's go dancing.
Break out the booze.
The Vegas shooting.
Whatever happened to baby Jane?
Very good, Al.
Ask your parents.
Whatever happened?
Are we done?
Excuse me?
Yes.
Dan Beck says baby formula.
Coney!
Remember Coney 2000?
Yes.
And James Cook.
Just today it's announced that we have to see a meeting.
Today, Mrs. L says there was such a deficit of baby formula that...
Nobody's talking about it.
Oh, but there's no food shortages here.
What?
No reason to be a prepper.
Prepare with Lionel.com.
How about Alex Baldwin?
Not Alec, but Alex Baldwin.
Isn't that interesting?
Floyd George.
Thank you so much.
Well, that's...
Who?
George Floyd.
The guy.
The guy.
You know the...
Remember that one?
Ukraine war.
Oh, that thing's done.
Nashville Christmas Day bombing.
Yes, marketing with Tim.
Yes.
Whatever happened?
9-11.
Stop it.
Dick Bork, everybody.
What happened to COVID?
Well, COVID, we don't know.
Is COVID...
But it's going to be here, but it's going to be like...
Monkeypox.
How do you get...
How do you get Monkeypox?
How do you...
Blasey Ford, thank you.
Panama Papers.
How about Vault 7 or whatever that...
WikiLeaks.
Whatever happened to...
Oh, Gina Haskell.
Remember that one?
COVID, COVID.
COVID is going to be...
Oh, excuse me.
I forgot.
I was going to answer my question.
You have to get monkeypox from contact, right?
How do you get it from people in contact?
You don't get it through airborne.
Can't wear a mask.
You get it from people.
From touching them.
Americans still in Afghanistan.
Building 7, Lou Cipher.
Please, nobody's talking about that.
What's the matter, you truth or freak you?
Seriously.
Bird flu.
Avian flu.
Deer ticks.
Pantavirus.
But how am I supposed to get monkeypox?
You gotta touch people.
You gotta come in open sores.
Bathhouses or contact or I don't know what.
What am I supposed to do?
I don't understand this.
Epstein Island.
Name one person.
Name one person that Ghislaine Maxwell proved or had arrested for trafficking.
Any of the people on the plane?
No.
Les Wexner?
No.
Nobody?
Nobody.
All those people who went there, they never traffic?
Nope.
She was charged with one count?
Yeah, wanna come?
Yeah.
Mad cow.
Bovine spongiform encephalopathy.
Harvey Weinstein.
Plum Island.
Murder hornets.
Yellow fever mosquitoes.
Oh, man.
Ebola.
Ebola Zaire and Ebola Reston from Virginia.
Not hematophagic.
That's a...
Well, I don't want to say this, but remember...
Do you remember Bed Bugs?
Bed Bugs Roscoe.
We had this place that would bring a dog in.
Remember that one?
Remember that?
This was one of the best scams ever.
He brought a dog in.
Yeah, he's a beetle.
We trained him.
Yeah, right.
We bring the dog in.
There's one there.
I'm convinced that exterminators caused Symex lectularius.
Bed bugs.
Bed bugs were the biggest thing in New York.
Robin Williams.
Robin Williams died from...
Lewy body dementia.
Lewy bodies.
Remember that one?
What else happened?
Where did these things go?
Anybody seen Greta Thunberg?
Thank you so much.
Where is this?
There's just these chronic wasting disease.
How about this sudden death?
Remember this one?
Sudden death.
They just kind of...
May I ask a silly question?
You ready for this?
I'm sorry.
Remember crabs?
Anybody have crabs?
Anybody?
Not tinea pubis, but tinea cruris is jock itch.
Remember that?
They had jock itch commercials.
Mons pubis.
Pubic lice.
Venom.
Crabs.
Hearts flea and tick.
That'll do the trick.
Seriously, do we not have those anymore?
Syphilis.
Gonorrhea.
Nonspecific gonococcal urethritis.
PPNG.
The drip.
Anthony Bourdain.
If you think...
Read this story.
He's at this five-star French.
He's a celebrity.
He's got all these people.
And how many days was he dead?
And they never know.
Anybody seen Tony?
No.
Okay.
What was Tony Bourdain saying?
Who was he with?
Who was he hanging with?
What was he saying?
What was he talking about?
What was he talking about?
Where is Tiffany Dover?
Interesting.
You sound like our friend GL.
Joan Rivers.
Well, Joan Rivers.
Bless her heart.
Kate Spade.
Remember that one?
Just went away.
John Paul J.P. I. It's just Isaac Cappy.
Yes.
They just go on.
I told you my dream.
I'm going to have a show.
One day.
Just a show.
Where we have this lady named Flo or Midge or something.
She has a muumuu on her house coat.
And we bring out this dry erase board on wheels.
And she writes on a...
She has nice handwriting because she's an older lady.
And she writes on a post-it note.
She writes down...
Paddock was his name.
Las Vegas Sniper puts that up there.
Ghislaine Maxwell puts that up there.
Whoever put it up there.
And this thing just grew.
Natalie Holloway.
Natalie Holloway.
Remember that guy?
What was his name?
He had this fellow.
Aruba.
That weird, he had a strange name.
Natalie Holloway's mother, if I recall.
And JonBenet Ramsey's father.
Somehow, Andrew Breitbart.
Did you ever buy that thing?
He had a heart attack.
Who was a fellow whose car all of a sudden accelerated?
He was about to spill the beans, or it was, and all of a sudden he was driving a Mercedes, and all of a sudden, lo and behold, he fires this thing up, and it speeds into a tree, just as Scalia, found dead, with a pillow over his head, in some kind of Illuminati.
Hunting Lodge.
Thank you, Brenda, Margaret, everybody.
This is...
And I'm so stupid because they say, what are you asking that for?
What are you getting at?
What am I getting at?
Can you imagine if we did Columbo today?
Well, there's a man who was found dead.
That's the end.
Quincy.
Huh.
No interest.
What are you getting at, Columbo?
Is this a conspiracy theory?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Vince Foster?
It just goes on.
You see where it is?
It just ends.
Now, let me stop.
Let me stop right this moment because I have to mention something else which is so important.
Our friends at MyPillow Right off.
Look at this.
You get a $10 off.
You activate the offer.
Just go to MyPillow.com and use promo code Lionel.
Look at this.
MyPillow bedsheets.
All sizes on sale.
Extra queen size.
$39.98.
Sale of the year.
New.
Percale bedsheets.
Percales.
Sale of the year.
MySlippers, $49.98, save $90.
MyPillow sandals, honey, save 50%.
MyPillow's as low as $19.88.
MyPillow mattresses, save 50%.
Six-piece towels, bed sets, beach blankets, beach towels, beach blanket, bingo!
Giza Elegance MyPillows.
Roll and go anywhere MyPillows.
The complete mattress sleep system.
Save 30%.
Women's sleepwear.
Loungewear.
Mattress toppers.
Men's sleepwear.
Body pillows with body pillowcase.
Think about this.
Single bath towels.
MyPillow bath sheets.
Two pack hand towels.
Four pack washcloths.
It goes on.
Gossamer blankets.
Quilts.
MyPillow.com Use special promo code LINEL.
And you are ready to go.
MyPillow.com.
Promo code LINEL.
Do it.
Because you know why?
He thinks a lot of us.
And we think a lot of him.
Alright?
Okay.
What a wonderful show today.
Did I tell you how much I love being here with you?
Mrs. L and I had just a...
Just a delightful time.
We had a little date night.
A little date going out.
You know what was very sad for me?
And you brought this up.
It was very good.
We were in Soho, kind of Chelsea-ish area.
There was just nobody.
It didn't have the oomph.
Friday night used to be a...
Wow!
I mean, it's not that there's crime, whatever, but just...
And the moment they put those...
How people want to sit in these stupid outdoor...
Yeah, these plywood things.
I don't know if you have them in your city.
What the hell is this all about?
Look at this.
Doug Miller.
Love my pillow.
Alright, my friends.
Now, did I tell you what you've got to do?
Please, Mrs. L did a brand new, great video.
They just passed in Massachusetts, right?
18 only.
Child bride.
No press on this.
Child bride bill.
No more.
You've got to be 18. Think about this.
What better way for you to be a child trafficker than to go and marry somebody after the parent gives consent?
That doesn't go on in this country.
Really?
You don't think so?
You wouldn't believe what's happening.
Alright, my friend.
Let me thank you so much.
Thank you so, so, so, so, so very much.
Have a great and glorious day.
Let's end today with where everybody's from as we roll this baby up.
Let me thank you again for not being who you are, but what you appear to be, and I mean that sincerely.
I thank you for that.
We'll be back again tomorrow at the same time, 9 a.m. Eastern.
Always a pleasure.
You're the reason God made Oklahoma.
Look at this.
Whitestone, New York City.
The man.
Christos Davro.
The man.
The myth.
The God.
Brenda Margaret.
Likely story.
Carol DeJong.
Everybody's here.
Parsippany.
Look where everybody is from.
Alright, my friends.
Have a great and glorious day.
See you tomorrow.
The monkey's dead.
The show's over.
Sue ya.
▲
Export Selection