Lionel Nation - DAILY BRIEFING:The Lionel Lens
Aired: 2022-05-24
Duration: 58:48


=== Protecting What Matters Most (10:07) ===

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[00:01:31]  Here we go.
[00:01:34]  What was that, honey?
[00:01:35]  What'd you say?
[00:01:37]  Oh, there we go.
[00:01:39]  Okay, we're on now.
[00:01:40]  There we go, honey.
[00:01:41]  We're on now.
[00:01:42]  We're live.
[00:01:42]  We are live.
[00:01:43]  We are live.
[00:01:46]  That's right, everybody.
[00:01:48]  You know, I was watching something the other day, and I was thinking about something.
[00:01:53]  I was watching our replay of what we do here.
[00:01:57]  And I don't know if it would be something that I would want to watch unless I were participating along.
[00:02:04]  I don't know how that would work.
[00:02:05]  I don't know how that would work.
[00:02:09]  I don't know.
[00:02:10]  Do I want to see this later?
[00:02:13]  Or do I want to see it when it's happening?
[00:02:16]  Does this matter without the interaction?
[00:02:20]  Is this important without finding out who is he talking to exactly?
[00:02:25]  I don't know the answer to that.
[00:02:26]  I'm not sure.
[00:02:29]  I was watching parts of it.
[00:02:31]  I had to stop because I cannot watch myself.
[00:02:34]  I watch myself just to see if there's a weird Like a positional thing.
[00:02:48]  Like, for example, I got rid of my glare-proof glasses.
[00:02:56]  See this?
[00:02:57]  You get a lot of that.
[00:03:00]  And the reason why I glare, don't ever get that clear coating because it cracks and it's horrible.
[00:03:05]  This will last forever.
[00:03:07]  So I'm saying, do I put my head down?
[00:03:09]  Do I put my head up?
[00:03:10]  That's all I look for.
[00:03:11]  I wrote a book.
[00:03:12]  I never read it.
[00:03:13]  Did a CD.
[00:03:14]  Never heard it.
[00:03:16]  Once I do something, I don't want to see it.
[00:03:18]  I don't want to watch it.
[00:03:19]  It means nothing to me.
[00:03:20]  It's over.
[00:03:21]  I have no interest in anything I've done.
[00:03:23]  But I was watching what we do, and it was very interesting.
[00:03:28]  It was very, very interesting.
[00:03:30]  And I've got to tell you something.
[00:03:31]  It seems, I think, it seems better with all candor.
[00:03:38]  It seems so much better than the other folks who've done this as well, because you see, I like you.
[00:03:49]  They don't.
[00:03:53]  Do you know what I'm saying here?
[00:03:55]  I like you.
[00:03:59]  Faye Page says, I like to re-watch sometimes.
[00:04:02]  I think that's what Chauncey Gardner said.
[00:04:04]  I like to re-watch.
[00:04:07]  Okay.
[00:04:08]  Or whatever.
[00:04:10]  It's very interesting.
[00:04:13]  Ethan says, like, so he doesn't complain about the likes.
[00:04:21]  So he complains.
[00:04:24]  What are you going to do?
[00:04:27]  Yeah, he's complaining.
[00:04:29]  We live in this stupid world of metrics.
[00:04:32]  How many do you have?
[00:04:34]  How many do you have?
[00:04:35]  We saw the other day something that was the most Mrs. L gave a wonderful, wonderful, wonderful presentation.
[00:04:53]  I'm so proud of her.
[00:04:55]  Among a group of concerned parents.
[00:04:58]  Do you mind if I mention that film that we saw?
[00:05:02]  It's called Childhood 2.0.
[00:05:05]  Now, O is a letter, zero is a number, I know, but it's 2.0.
[00:05:09]  It doesn't sound right.
[00:05:13]  It just doesn't sound right.
[00:05:16]  Some say, you're who I trust.
[00:05:19]  Well, it's whom I trust, but that doesn't sound right.
[00:05:22]  Well, it is 2.0, but we call it 2.0.
[00:05:27]  And it was the most incredible, it was the most fascinating.
[00:05:36]  You've got to see this.
[00:05:37]  Go to lenswarriors.org.
[00:05:39]  She'll show you where to see this.
[00:05:41]  It is It is the most...
[00:05:43]  And what do you think they did?
[00:05:48]  They talked to kids, and the parents were talking about when the parents were.
[00:05:54]  And the parents were younger than me, but they said the same thing.
[00:06:00]  And I've been thinking lately, am I getting too nostalgic all the time?
[00:06:06]  No.
[00:06:07]  Am I getting too...
[00:06:09]  No.
[00:06:11]  No.
[00:06:12]  Because this is the essence of something.
[00:06:15]  When you get too far away from the essence of it, it's not that thing anymore.
[00:06:19]  For example, there's country music, and if you keep straying from it, eventually you're into pop.
[00:06:24]  You're into folk or something.
[00:06:27]  There are things or areas.
[00:06:29]  And that's why childhood, kids in particular, they're so gone it's not even funny.
[00:06:37]  But what's interesting also is today the news.
[00:06:39]  Now I just did a video.
[00:06:40]  Did a presentation for LionelMedia.com.
[00:06:44]  And the story of stories of stories of stories of stories, the one today, I don't want to go into it now, because I think it's contrary to this particular medium that we're in right now, but it's Kissinger at Davos.
[00:07:00]  And Kissinger basically said, Ukraine, you better talk about ceasefire or withdrawal or surrender, and West, you better back off.
[00:07:10]  This is what I've been saying since day one.
[00:07:12]  This is from Kissinger.
[00:07:14]  So if you want to go into that deep, dark, heady stuff, really into the interstitial weeds, lionelmedia.com, become a subscriber, that's it.
[00:07:23]  But this is something which I find fascinating.
[00:07:30]  And it's something that's on my mind lately.
[00:07:32]  It's called conviviality.
[00:07:34]  How we deal with each other.
[00:07:36]  When you go someplace, when you go someplace, when Mrs. L does her presentations, you always go to, and by the way, you know who have been terrific?
[00:07:49]  Churches have been great, organizations.
[00:07:51]  They're the, don't expect government to bend over backwards.
[00:07:56]  Yeah, sure, talk about protecting kids.
[00:07:58]  Come on in, we'll help you.
[00:08:01]  Gee, I wonder why.
[00:08:03]  But you always look and see, like, oh, what do we have?
[00:08:06]  We're going to bring some snacks.
[00:08:08]  Ooh, what are those?
[00:08:10]  Isn't that something?
[00:08:11]  There's something about this, and I'm looking at this, I'm saying, this is so human.
[00:08:15]  This is the Lionel lens.
[00:08:18]  That's what this is.
[00:08:19]  I want you to see, I'm sitting back and I'm just watching this.
[00:08:23]  This has, this happens in every corner of the world and our country, whether it's a PTA meeting, if they even have those anymore.
[00:08:35]  An AA meeting, or some 12-step.
[00:08:37]  God bless those people, by the way.
[00:08:43]  Garden clubs.
[00:08:45]  It's people meeting together.
[00:08:48]  People meeting.
[00:08:51]  It's this thing.
[00:08:53]  I see it now.
[00:08:56]  That's what we're doing.
[00:08:57]  We're doing it.
[00:09:00]  We're using social media to meet each other from all over the world.
[00:09:06]  This is only possible through social media.
[00:09:09]  It's good!
[00:09:10]  It's something that's good.
[00:09:12]  I can't explain it.
[00:09:14]  It's good.
[00:09:15]  It's beneficial.
[00:09:18]  We drive by this thing the other day.
[00:09:20]  It's very interesting.
[00:09:24]  It's a...
[00:09:27]  We live in New York, but we drive through, you know, upstate and Westchester and this and Jersey and drive around.
[00:09:35]  Because, you know, there's the city and then you can go so far.
[00:09:39]  Where's that place?
[00:09:40]  Was it in Montclair?
[00:09:41]  The Iris?
[00:09:42]  What's that called?
[00:09:44]  Iris Gardens.
[00:09:45]  The Presley Iris Gardens.
[00:09:47]  The Presley Iris Gardens in Montclair?
[00:09:51]  Yeah.
[00:09:51]  In Montclair, New Jersey.

=== Why We Left The Softball Game (02:58) ===

[00:09:54]  And we're driving.
[00:09:55]  And there's all these cars.
[00:09:58]  I'm saying, what is this?
[00:09:59]  A concert?
[00:10:00]  What's going on here?
[00:10:01]  Because across the street there's a field.
[00:10:03]  It must be a softball game or something.
[00:10:04]  No.
[00:10:06]  I think, what the hell are these cars here for?
[00:10:07]  What's going on?
[00:10:08]  They were looking at the iris.
[00:10:10]  The irises.
[00:10:11]  They're getting out.
[00:10:13]  They're walking around looking at the iris.
[00:10:15]  This is great.
[00:10:16]  They're looking at plants.
[00:10:19]  They're looking at a flower.
[00:10:21]  That's it.
[00:10:22]  They're lined up.
[00:10:25]  How great is that?
[00:10:26]  Finally!
[00:10:29]  Finally!
[00:10:31]  This is it.
[00:10:32]  This is what humans do.
[00:10:34]  This is what we do.
[00:10:36]  There's a comedian named Sebastian Maniscalco.
[00:10:43]  And Sebastian Maniscalco is a modern version of a dear friend of mine whom I love.
[00:10:54]  His name is Pat Cooper.
[00:10:56]  Pat Cooper is a...
[00:10:58]  Well, he's one of my heroes.
[00:11:02]  One of my absolute comedic heroes and the like.
[00:11:06]  And Pat Cooper has been around forever.
[00:11:09]  And he's like 93 now?
[00:11:11]  93?
[00:11:11]  No.
[00:11:12]  Yeah, 93. 93 years old.
[00:11:15]  And he's big.
[00:11:17]  He's a big guy.
[00:11:19]  You know how they have...
[00:11:19]  Sometimes when people get older, they get kind of scrawny.
[00:11:23]  Not him.
[00:11:25]  So, Sebastian Maniscalco kind of does this thing about Italians, and Pat Cooper did this.
[00:11:31]  And Sebastian Maniscalco does this thing about when you were a kid and you had company, and he does one of the best presentations of his act.
[00:11:42]  He's very theatrical.
[00:11:44]  And he talks about how people, when you had company, people would just show up.
[00:11:50]  Did you have that when you were a kid?
[00:11:52]  Somebody knocked on the door.
[00:11:53]  Who is it?
[00:11:53]  Hey!
[00:11:54]  We were in the neighborhood.
[00:11:58]  Pasquale Caputo.
[00:11:59]  That's right.
[00:12:00]  He is great.
[00:12:02]  And I mean that sincerely.
[00:12:03]  And I send that to you, Matthew.
[00:12:05]  From me to you, buddy.
[00:12:09]  But there was this...
[00:12:11]  People would just show up.
[00:12:16]  Christmas time.
[00:12:17]  I remember as a kid we had this guy who would...
[00:12:19]  Bring over a ham.
[00:12:21]  I don't know why, but every year he'd just show up.
[00:12:24]  Here we go.
[00:12:25]  Here he is.
[00:12:26]  He'd spend hours.
[00:12:27]  Hey, look at you.
[00:12:28]  Just come by.
[00:12:32]  Now, if you told kids that today, come by.
[00:12:35]  What are you talking about?

=== Crumb Cake Conspiracy (05:18) ===

[00:12:37]  You just went there?
[00:12:38]  Yeah.
[00:12:38]  I was in the neighborhood.
[00:12:41]  Today, of course, you hide.
[00:12:44]  If somebody pulls up, if it ever does happen, you grab the gun.
[00:12:49]  You hide.
[00:12:50]  You turn off the lights if it's at night.
[00:12:52]  You try to...
[00:12:53]  A lot of these people...
[00:12:54]  Have you seen this?
[00:12:55]  You'll see it a lot in New York apartments.
[00:12:57]  They have these devices underneath the door.
[00:12:59]  That's to keep all the weed smell out.
[00:13:03]  But that's so that nobody can see you walking back and forth.
[00:13:06]  And they can see the show.
[00:13:07]  They're there!
[00:13:08]  I see the movement.
[00:13:10]  Maybe it's a dog.
[00:13:11]  No, that's not a dog.
[00:13:12]  Those are people.
[00:13:12]  They're back there.
[00:13:13]  I see you!
[00:13:14]  I know you!
[00:13:15]  I mean, it's weird.
[00:13:16]  If you told kids today, they actually went to people's homes.
[00:13:20]  The men of Chicago talks about they have the intimate cake, which you keep for company.
[00:13:24]  You've got the nice stuff, the pot of coffee, maybe some Sanka.
[00:13:30]  Do you ever go someplace and somebody says, well, I've got some frozen coffee.
[00:13:35]  What?
[00:13:36]  I've got some instant coffee.
[00:13:38]  You've got what?
[00:13:39]  Instant coffee.
[00:13:40]  Do they still make that?
[00:13:41]  Yeah, I've got instant coffee.
[00:13:42]  Oh my God.
[00:13:44]  That's my reaction.
[00:13:45]  Oh my god.
[00:13:47]  Wow.
[00:13:48]  Have you ever had instant coffee lately?
[00:13:50]  It's serious.
[00:13:51]  It's like ten times the octane.
[00:13:54]  It's very interesting.
[00:13:55]  Anyway.
[00:13:59]  Visiting.
[00:14:02]  Conviviation.
[00:14:04]  talking talking talking Sitting down and saying, what have you been up to?
[00:14:13]  Well.
[00:14:14]  Oh, been a few things.
[00:14:15]  What about you?
[00:14:17]  What have you been doing?
[00:14:19]  Well, we've been doing some things.
[00:14:21]  Really?
[00:14:21]  Yeah, that's interesting.
[00:14:22]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:14:24]  Okay.
[00:14:25]  Have you been terrific?
[00:14:27]  We don't do that anymore.
[00:14:31]  Not only do we not do it, we don't want to do that.
[00:14:35]  We don't want to do that.
[00:14:37]  How many times do you see people, you drive through neighborhoods, I'll bet you there are people who've never met the person down the street.
[00:14:45]  Never.
[00:14:48]  Never.
[00:14:49]  Look at this.
[00:14:50]  Liz says, I dropped in on two friends unexpectedly over the weekend.
[00:14:54]  We had the best visits.
[00:14:55]  Until you left, Liz.
[00:14:57]  Then your friend said, what the hell is that about?
[00:15:00]  What, did she just show up like this?
[00:15:02]  She's drinking again.
[00:15:03]  Just kidding, of course.
[00:15:06]  Look at this.
[00:15:07]  Alphonse Ragusa.
[00:15:09]  Is that a beautiful name?
[00:15:10]  Alphonse Ragusa.
[00:15:12]  I constantly have people over and I make espresso.
[00:15:16]  It's fantastic.
[00:15:16]  And thank you, Alphonse, for not saying expresso.
[00:15:20]  E-X.
[00:15:21]  People were hospitable.
[00:15:22]  Kevin says that.
[00:15:24]  Roland says connections.
[00:15:25]  It's true!
[00:15:29]  Shade moving and floor creaking.
[00:15:32]  Who could it be now?
[00:15:34]  You're right about that.
[00:15:35]  That's, of course, Donald Newell.
[00:15:38]  A house is not a home without crumb cake.
[00:15:42]  You hear that?
[00:15:43]  Crumb cake.
[00:15:45]  Crumb cake.
[00:15:48]  I can't believe you said that.
[00:15:50]  The other day we're at this event and somebody says, what is that?
[00:15:54]  They say, what's crumb cake?
[00:15:55]  Crumb cake?
[00:15:58]  Wow.
[00:15:59]  How about this?
[00:16:00]  What is that?
[00:16:00]  It's pound cake.
[00:16:01]  Oh.
[00:16:03]  Oh, that's nice.
[00:16:05]  Pound cake, huh?
[00:16:06]  Yeah.
[00:16:07]  What's that?
[00:16:08]  Sarah Lee?
[00:16:09]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:16:10]  The brick?
[00:16:11]  Yeah, yeah.
[00:16:12]  There's a place in Jersey.
[00:16:14]  I'm not advertising it.
[00:16:15]  I'm just telling you.
[00:16:18]  B&H?
[00:16:21]  In Hackensack?
[00:16:23]  Where is it?
[00:16:25]  They're known for their crumb cake.
[00:16:27]  The thing weighs like 10 pounds, and it's just, and they wait, and it's a bakery on Sunday.
[00:16:36]  Where you go and you get a number, and you have that device, that little, on the stanchion, and you pull this, and you look up and you go, oh no, 42?
[00:16:48]  What's this, 12?
[00:16:50]  You wonder, how is this possible?
[00:16:52]  12?
[00:16:54]  13?
[00:16:55]  Remember that scene from The Sopranos?
[00:16:56]  Anyway, this is just what I want to reaffirm.
[00:17:05]  We are so...
[00:17:07]  It was so funny.
[00:17:11]  I was watching.
[00:17:13]  I just happened to have something.
[00:17:14]  I cannot watch cable news.
[00:17:17]  I go through these things where I get into a food I like or a thing I like and I stick with it and I stick with it and I say, alright, it's enough of that.
[00:17:25]  I'm tired of that.
[00:17:26]  I cannot watch cable news anymore.
[00:17:28]  I can't watch it.
[00:17:30]  I can't.
[00:17:33]  I learn elsewhere.
[00:17:34]  I learn elsewhere.
[00:17:36]  The information's there.
[00:17:39]  But you know what drives me crazy?

=== Why We Use Words (15:18) ===

[00:17:44]  And it's not a very long ride, I admit.
[00:17:47]  These shows have tried to come up with, so we're happy you can join us.
[00:17:51]  Oh, but you shut up.
[00:17:54]  What are they doing?
[00:17:55]  They're perpetuating what I'm doing.
[00:17:57]  They're doing what I'm telling you.
[00:17:59]  Convivial.
[00:18:00]  Conviviation.
[00:18:01]  Confabulation.
[00:18:02]  Talking.
[00:18:03]  Hey, look at us.
[00:18:04]  We're talking.
[00:18:05]  Hey, wait for us.
[00:18:07]  Hey, welcome.
[00:18:08]  How were you?
[00:18:09]  How was your weekend?
[00:18:10]  Both the Yankees did great.
[00:18:12]  Is that great?
[00:18:13]  What did you do?
[00:18:13]  Well, I couldn't believe the price of gas.
[00:18:15]  Would you stop that?
[00:18:17]  This is insincere.
[00:18:20]  There's something.
[00:18:21]  We are just losing, losing this.
[00:18:24]  You know what?
[00:18:27]  You can say what you want about dogs.
[00:18:31]  But they go up and they smell each other.
[00:18:34]  And you know where to.
[00:18:36]  And that's all it takes.
[00:18:37]  Okay.
[00:18:37]  Yeah, you're okay.
[00:18:38]  You'll do.
[00:18:39]  That's good.
[00:18:40]  That's nice.
[00:18:41]  That's nice.
[00:18:42]  What is that?
[00:18:43]  Interesting.
[00:18:44]  I like that aroma.
[00:18:45]  We're friends.
[00:18:46]  What do humans do when they meet?
[00:18:49]  Nothing.
[00:18:51]  Nothing.
[00:18:53]  Do you ever have this one where you meet a...
[00:18:56]  You run up with a friend of yours.
[00:18:58]  And they introduce you to their kid.
[00:19:00]  You've never met their kid before.
[00:19:01]  You go, Hi, how are you?
[00:19:02]  This is Morgan.
[00:19:03]  Hi, Morgan.
[00:19:05]  Oh, no.
[00:19:06]  What is the matter?
[00:19:07]  Wearing the mask.
[00:19:09]  No eye contact.
[00:19:12]  Hiding.
[00:19:12]  Like this.
[00:19:14]  Have you met this?
[00:19:15]  They're all over the place.
[00:19:18]  Hey, Morgan.
[00:19:19]  What grade are you in?
[00:19:21]  What grade are you in?
[00:19:22]  What?
[00:19:23]  What grade are you in?
[00:19:24]  I don't know.
[00:19:25]  I don't go to school.
[00:19:26]  You don't go to school?
[00:19:27]  I remote learn.
[00:19:28]  I don't know.
[00:19:30]  What's your favorite subject?
[00:19:31]  Subject?
[00:19:33]  Where do you go to school?
[00:19:35]  My kitchen table?
[00:19:36]  Go to kitchen table.
[00:19:37]  What the hell's the matter with this kid?
[00:19:40]  You got a girlfriend?
[00:19:41]  What?
[00:19:41]  Don't say that.
[00:19:43]  Remember when you were a kid?
[00:19:44]  Hey, you got a girlfriend?
[00:19:45]  No.
[00:19:46]  Remember when you were a kid and kids would always get into that girlfriend?
[00:19:50]  You know, girls are icky kind of a thing.
[00:19:52]  What are we talking about?
[00:19:56]  I used to do this routine all the time where kids would just...
[00:19:59]  Not that long ago.
[00:20:00]  This is my routine all the time.
[00:20:02]  How old are you?
[00:20:03]  Good.
[00:20:03]  What are you, about 15?
[00:20:04]  15?
[00:20:07]  I'm this many.
[00:20:09]  What are you showing me with your fingers?
[00:20:10]  What is this, a secret?
[00:20:12]  How old are you?
[00:20:12]  This is my...
[00:20:13]  Quit.
[00:20:13]  How old are you?
[00:20:16]  Not even done yet.
[00:20:18]  What is this?
[00:20:18]  And they start...
[00:20:19]  They realize this guy's funny.
[00:20:21]  What are you, 12?
[00:20:22]  12!
[00:20:23]  I'm a kid.
[00:20:25]  This guy's crazy.
[00:20:26]  And of course, the one that killed him.
[00:20:28]  Was that you?
[00:20:29]  It was not.
[00:20:32]  Broke the ice every time.
[00:20:34]  Kids loved it.
[00:20:38]  We had this kid one time who lived down the hall from us.
[00:20:41]  Oh, they took him to his squash class.
[00:20:44]  And then he was going to his bassoon lesson.
[00:20:47]  And then he was going this.
[00:20:48]  And he's got his private school.
[00:20:50]  I said, hey, can you do this?
[00:20:51]  And the mother said, no!
[00:20:54]  He goes, that's great!
[00:20:55]  How do you do that?
[00:20:56]  He like dropped everything he had.
[00:20:58]  This was the greatest.
[00:21:00]  Instead of, you know, he drops the bassoon, drops the squash racket, just drops it.
[00:21:04]  How do you do that?
[00:21:07]  I said, if you learn how to do this, it will change your life.
[00:21:11]  For the rest of your life, wherever you are, you're the party.
[00:21:15]  You can break up things, anything.
[00:21:18]  Funerals, weddings, church, doesn't matter.
[00:21:21]  Just all of a sudden, it just...
[00:21:23]  The mother looked at me.
[00:21:27]  I don't want to say you don't want to kill me, but maim?
[00:21:32]  This figure?
[00:21:34]  Certainly.
[00:21:37]  Certainly there.
[00:21:38]  No doubt about it at all.
[00:21:40]  I'm serious.
[00:21:41]  I see it all the time.
[00:21:44]  Everywhere we go, I'm seeing the human connection absolutely Absolutely non-existent.
[00:21:53]  And it's getting worse.
[00:21:55]  And getting worse.
[00:21:57]  And here's the best part.
[00:21:59]  This is the part that I will say to you repeatedly.
[00:22:04]  And I think it's very true.
[00:22:06]  And that is that the...
[00:22:10]  How do I say this?
[00:22:11]  This device that we're on now.
[00:22:14]  This one that we always talk about.
[00:22:16]  We always hate.
[00:22:17]  And watching this Childhood 2.0.
[00:22:19]  Oh my God.
[00:22:20]  This will terrify you.
[00:22:22]  If you have children, oh my God.
[00:22:25]  But it can do so much, so many great things by bringing people together in a different way.
[00:22:35]  The power of a powerful Bronx cheer.
[00:22:38]  How many people?
[00:22:40]  I really miss my old neighbors, talk to them, says.
[00:22:43]  They were great, lovely people.
[00:22:45]  Where I'm at now, not so much.
[00:22:47]  I know.
[00:22:48]  Jimmy Kumia sent me.
[00:22:50]  Thank you, my friend.
[00:22:53]  First name, last name.
[00:22:54]  I like this.
[00:22:54]  The cheese breaks the ice.
[00:22:56]  It's true.
[00:22:57]  Um...
[00:23:02]  My dad taught me to always give a firm handshake when meeting someone.
[00:23:06]  Never the dead fish.
[00:23:08]  Absolutely.
[00:23:10]  And by the way, there's so much of an art to that.
[00:23:15]  If you are There are some people who are really, some are almost violent with this.
[00:23:23]  But make sure you get the webbing.
[00:23:26]  This is called a perlicue.
[00:23:28]  It has a name, the perlicue.
[00:23:30]  Make sure your perlicues connect.
[00:23:33]  And when you drive your hand up into this, I don't care if they've got hands like blackjack mulligan, it doesn't matter.
[00:23:43]  You're in.
[00:23:46]  And look.
[00:23:47]  And there's all kinds of variations.
[00:23:49]  The handshake, the hand on top, the shoulder.
[00:23:54]  Remember when the right arm thing came?
[00:23:56]  Not right arm.
[00:23:57]  I used to go right on.
[00:23:59]  I called it right arm.
[00:24:00]  In the 70s.
[00:24:01]  Remember this one?
[00:24:02]  How about this cool thing where you go up and you put your shoulder?
[00:24:06]  What is that?
[00:24:07]  Hey, how you doing?
[00:24:08]  Hey, how's it going?
[00:24:09]  Hey, how's it going?
[00:24:10]  What is this?
[00:24:11]  Oh, it's something.
[00:24:13]  Do women even do that?
[00:24:14]  Men at least.
[00:24:16]  Something.
[00:24:17]  Hey, how you doing?
[00:24:20]  Women...
[00:24:20]  I don't know.
[00:24:22]  I guess.
[00:24:22]  I have no idea.
[00:24:24]  I have no earthly idea.
[00:24:28]  Trump handshake?
[00:24:29]  Don't squeeze too early.
[00:24:31]  You're right about that.
[00:24:32]  Look them in the eye.
[00:24:34]  Here's one for you.
[00:24:37]  I knew somebody one time who had...
[00:24:40]  I don't want to...
[00:24:41]  I think sometimes we use a word.
[00:24:43]  We use Asperger's too much.
[00:24:44]  We talk about spectrum.
[00:24:46]  People say, did it want to make eye contact?
[00:24:47]  Well, sometimes eye contact can be a little intimidating.
[00:24:55]  So I said to this young person years ago, I never forget, I said, I've got a trick for you.
[00:25:00]  I said, do me a favor.
[00:25:01]  I said, it's very simple.
[00:25:04]  I said, when you talk to me, because you're looking down like this, I said, when you look down at me, I want you to do something different.
[00:25:11]  I want you to...
[00:25:13]  I want you to look at one.
[00:25:21]  Look at me right here.
[00:25:24]  Not in my eye.
[00:25:25]  Look right here between my eyes.
[00:25:27]  Just look there.
[00:25:29]  I said, you see how you're looking at me?
[00:25:30]  Yeah.
[00:25:31]  I said, it looks like you're looking at me, but you're not.
[00:25:33]  You're looking here.
[00:25:34]  Now, you can look at me all day long, can't you?
[00:25:36]  Yes.
[00:25:37]  Exactly.
[00:25:38]  Just look right here.
[00:25:39]  You can stare down anybody.
[00:25:41]  Forever.
[00:25:42]  Do you freak people out?
[00:25:44]  Don't do it in New York.
[00:25:45]  Believe me, don't do that.
[00:25:47]  But if you ever want to talk to somebody, look right here.
[00:25:50]  It was like that.
[00:25:52]  Absolutely.
[00:25:53]  Changed everything.
[00:25:55]  He did it from that moment on.
[00:25:57]  I say, it's a trick.
[00:25:58]  It's simple.
[00:26:00]  It's simple.
[00:26:01]  And when you meet people, there's a couple of things too.
[00:26:05]  Always know when to nod.
[00:26:08]  Nodding is good for two things.
[00:26:09]  Number one, it gives somebody the false sense of affirmation and approval and approbation and also keeps you awake.
[00:26:18]  Another trick.
[00:26:19]  People love to hear their names.
[00:26:22]  They love it.
[00:26:23]  They love to hear their names.
[00:26:27]  You know, John, you make a hell of a point.
[00:26:32]  My name's not John, but whatever, that'll do.
[00:26:34]  You know, John, you're right.
[00:26:36]  You know, John's right here.
[00:26:38]  There was a guy one time years ago at one of the best burger places ever.
[00:26:46]  It was called El Cap, St. Pete.
[00:26:48]  That's when I was eating burgers years ago.
[00:26:51]  And the fellow who owned it was a guy named Frank Bonfile, nicest man in the world.
[00:26:55]  And he would never forget a name.
[00:26:57]  He would never forget a name.
[00:27:00]  And one day I asked him, I said, how do you do this?
[00:27:03]  I don't know if you ever get me yet, but I realized.
[00:27:05]  He said your name a million times.
[00:27:07]  He would say, I'll tell you what, Tommy.
[00:27:08]  You're right, Tommy.
[00:27:09]  You gotta love those reds, Tommy.
[00:27:10]  Gotta like those reds.
[00:27:11]  Tommy.
[00:27:11]  Tommy.
[00:27:12]  And pretty soon after, he said, and you said, okay.
[00:27:15]  He never forgot the name.
[00:27:18]  Whenever you don't know what to ask somebody, if you forget a name, do what I do.
[00:27:22]  I always say, what do your friends call you?
[00:27:25]  Oh.
[00:27:26]  I used to do, how do you spell your name?
[00:27:28]  Smith.
[00:27:29]  Oh, they're going to be Smythe.
[00:27:30]  No.
[00:27:30]  What do your friends call you?
[00:27:34]  Or, You say, Jerry, why don't you do the introductions?
[00:27:37]  That's because you don't know this person's name.
[00:27:39]  I don't know about you, but when I hear names for the first time, I just don't, I don't, I slough right over them.
[00:27:45]  It's not that I don't remember, I just, it's inconsequential.
[00:27:50]  So I have to stop.
[00:27:52]  And when people say, see you later there, Lionel.
[00:27:55]  How does he remember?
[00:27:56]  I don't even know this guy's name.
[00:27:57]  I've been talking to him.
[00:27:58]  I'm very bad at that.
[00:27:59]  Not because I don't remember, I just don't put any stock in it.
[00:28:02]  Now I've changed.
[00:28:04]  I'm doing it differently.
[00:28:05]  I try to do something.
[00:28:06]  I try to say it.
[00:28:09]  Something that I remember.
[00:28:11]  Something that I remember.
[00:28:12]  It's like when you learn a new vocabulary word.
[00:28:14]  If you never use it in a sentence, it means nothing to you.
[00:28:17]  You'll forget it immediately.
[00:28:18]  It doesn't mean anything.
[00:28:20]  But if you say it, if you say, well, that seems rather anodyne to me, well, I remember saying that.
[00:28:27]  I remember saying it because I remember when you reacted like that.
[00:28:31]  Anytime you pair something, anytime you, I love this.
[00:28:36]  I used to eat meat.
[00:28:37]  I still do, but I used to as well.
[00:28:39]  That's an old Nick...
[00:28:44]  No, what's his name?
[00:28:47]  Nick...
[00:28:48]  What's his name?
[00:28:50]  Hedrick...
[00:28:51]  No, the comedian says, I used to do drugs.
[00:28:55]  I still do drugs now, but I used to do them.
[00:28:59]  Nick...
[00:28:59]  What's his name?
[00:29:00]  You know what I'm talking about.
[00:29:02]  It's a very good joke.
[00:29:04]  He's very, very good.
[00:29:05]  He, Stephen Wright, what is his name?
[00:29:11]  He had the, he never made eye contact, he had stage fright, died of a drug overdose.
[00:29:17]  It was brilliant.
[00:29:20]  There's another one too, the fellow with the Greek name, Mitch Hedwig.
[00:29:24]  Mitch, yes, Mitch, yes.
[00:29:27]  Hedberg, or as you say, Herberg.
[00:29:31]  Close enough.
[00:29:33]  So leave it to Alphonse Ragusa.
[00:29:36]  Alphonse for the score.
[00:29:38]  Let me tell you something.
[00:29:39]  Hedberg.
[00:29:40]  Yes.
[00:29:41]  Excellent.
[00:29:42]  What about that guy with the Greek name?
[00:29:46]  Not Demetrius or Splitkin, but Demetrius or whatever his name is.
[00:29:49]  Brilliant!
[00:29:50]  See, but that doesn't grab me.
[00:29:54]  Yes, Mitch Hedberg.
[00:29:55]  Brilliant stuff.
[00:29:58]  You know, Nick DiPaolo.
[00:30:02]  I used to work with him.
[00:30:03]  Well, I was on a show years ago called IATA.
[00:30:06]  IATA was the first internet radio station.
[00:30:11]  But we didn't have broadband.
[00:30:12]  Didn't have bandwidth.
[00:30:14]  And he used to come on all the time.
[00:30:15]  He was very, very good.
[00:30:19]  Let me see.
[00:30:21]  I'm trying to figure out...
[00:30:23]  There was a fellow...
[00:30:24]  Yes, hit the like button too.
[00:30:26]  In any event.
[00:30:27]  Don't talk about that.
[00:30:28]  So, the good news is...
[00:30:30]  As we start today, this Tuesday, I want to tell you why I think Tuesday is the worst day of the week.
[00:30:37]  And I wanted to share this with you, and I think it's worth noting.
[00:30:40]  First of all, Mondays are bad, but at least you can say, well, it's Monday.
[00:30:47]  Let's get this thing going.
[00:30:48]  Who knows?
[00:30:49]  We'll start off new.
[00:30:51]  Wednesdays are great because Wednesdays are at least like, well, it's the middle of the week.
[00:30:56]  You know, it's hump day.
[00:30:58]  Yeah, it's hump day.
[00:30:59]  Hey, it's hump day.
[00:31:00]  Thursday, even better, tomorrow's Friday.
[00:31:04]  Friday, ta-da!
[00:31:05]  Last day of the week, of the work week usually.
[00:31:08]  Saturday is, I think, the best because it's the first day you say, you know what, free and unencumbered.
[00:31:13]  Sunday, tomorrow's Monday, but at least Tuesday is the worst day because there's no way around it.
[00:31:25]  Tuesdays are the worst.
[00:31:26]  I hate them.
[00:31:27]  I don't know why.
[00:31:29]  You ever understood that?
[00:31:30]  You ever understood that whole notion of this?
[00:31:33]  But it's absolutely true.
[00:31:35]  So anyway, my friends, feels like a Monday, Mitch.
[00:31:40]  Our sense of humor is an important one.
[00:31:42]  You know, it's funny you say that.
[00:31:43]  Roland Hasbrook, from Hasbrook Heights, by the way, sense of humor is one of the things which I do not know how to explain this better than this.
[00:31:52]  Sense of humor does not mean you're funny.
[00:31:55]  Sense of humor means you have a sense of it.
[00:31:58]  Can you understand it?
[00:31:59]  Do you get it?
[00:32:00]  Do you have a...
[00:32:01]  You can have a tremendous appreciation for food and be a food critic, but you can't cook.
[00:32:07]  But you have a great palate.
[00:32:09]  You got it.
[00:32:10]  You understand it.
[00:32:13]  That's the way of a sense of humor.
[00:32:14]  I find it to be, right now, the worst of the worst of the worst of the worst.
[00:32:20]  I'm glad you brought this up.
[00:32:21]  I'll give you a couple of examples.
[00:32:22]  Number one, Dave Chappelle.
[00:32:24]  Dave Chappelle is now funny because he's Dave Chappelle.
[00:32:26]  And that is absolute zero hour.
[00:32:31]  Not good.
[00:32:32]  The thing that Carlin did...
[00:32:36]  He always, and I'm going to tell you something right now, which people don't like me to say.
[00:32:40]  Maybe you agree, maybe you don't.
[00:32:41]  Carlin was not funny.
[00:32:43]  Carlin was a philosopher.

=== Nobody Wants New Stuff (07:22) ===

[00:32:45]  I didn't really laugh.
[00:32:47]  I mean, we laughed.
[00:32:49]  But what he said was brilliant.
[00:32:53]  Bill Hicks one day will get the credit he deserves.
[00:32:56]  He was a philosopher.
[00:32:58]  He was a sage.
[00:32:59]  He wasn't just a comedian.
[00:33:05]  But Dave Chappelle is now going into the I'm Dave Chappelle.
[00:33:10]  I don't have to be funny anymore.
[00:33:12]  The guy tried to attack me.
[00:33:14]  We're going to milk that for all that's worth.
[00:33:17]  And when you're at that, he's got to be the most frightened now.
[00:33:23]  Because unlike music, let's face it, when you perform, nobody wants to hear your new stuff.
[00:33:32]  Nobody wants to hear your new stuff.
[00:33:33]  When you're out there performing, This may be something which is a problem for many people, but nobody really wants to hear your new stuff.
[00:33:41]  It's not something that anybody's interested in or cares about.
[00:33:46]  It may be terrific, may mean a lot to you, may be great and all this stuff, but nobody really wants to hear your new stuff.
[00:33:53]  But when you're a comedian, it's the new stuff.
[00:33:56]  It's the only stuff they want to hear.
[00:33:58]  You can't do a joke twice.
[00:34:01]  It's not the same.
[00:34:03]  Andrew Dice Clay.
[00:34:04]  Had a wonderful routine.
[00:34:06]  Until you went and go, I heard this before.
[00:34:08]  How many times are you going to hear it?
[00:34:11]  I never understood that one.
[00:34:13]  So what Dave Chappelle is doing right now is he's letting the fact that he's Dave Chappelle kind of get in the way.
[00:34:19]  And you go there with such a hyped sense of this is going to be great.
[00:34:24]  You're always a little disappointed.
[00:34:25]  Nobody wants to realize that.
[00:34:27]  You're a little disappointed.
[00:34:29]  Because he now has to hit you with his best stuff ever.
[00:34:32]  Humor is the weirdest thing in the world.
[00:34:34]  On July the 16th, July the 16th, not September, July at the cutting room, I'm going to be there.
[00:34:42]  You're going to find it very, very funny.
[00:34:44]  You know why?
[00:34:44]  Because it's true.
[00:34:45]  Because it's the absurdist thing.
[00:34:48]  It's the line of lens.
[00:34:51]  It's the way I see things.
[00:34:53]  I mean, anybody else can make the same observation, but it's not the same.
[00:34:59]  And it's my unique thing.
[00:35:00]  And if you're like, it's funny, not because I'm funny, it's funny.
[00:35:04]  What I'm telling you is funny.
[00:35:06]  The subject matter.
[00:35:08]  It's good stuff.
[00:35:10]  When humor is dependent upon him telling you, it's not good.
[00:35:14]  I'm sorry.
[00:35:16]  And the person that I cannot say, I cannot talk to you.
[00:35:20]  Who is so overdone is Jerry Seinfeld and these comedians having coffee.
[00:35:30]  Hey, let's talk to a funny comedian.
[00:35:33]  And you realize one thing.
[00:35:34]  They are not funny.
[00:35:36]  And comedians love to sit back with this forced, fake, over-the-top...
[00:35:41]  Laughter, like they're hysterical, they're cacinating, they can't see straight.
[00:35:47]  They're going through paroxysms of laughter.
[00:35:54]  Seizures, convulsive laughing.
[00:35:56]  This is the funniest thing I've ever heard in my life.
[00:36:00]  You will rarely ever, ever meet somebody who is even remotely interesting where they're not doing their act.
[00:36:10]  When they're not doing their act, they are not even remotely.
[00:36:13]  Dave Chappelle, by the way, was so interesting when he was on the Actors Workshop with Lipton.
[00:36:18]  It showed a side of him that...
[00:36:21]  Did you ever hear George Carlin?
[00:36:24]  Most boring person you'll ever want to meet in your life.
[00:36:27]  If he's not on stage.
[00:36:30]  If he's not on stage, absolutely the...
[00:36:34]  You know what?
[00:36:35]  He doesn't have to be.
[00:36:39]  Nobody expects Mick Jagger.
[00:36:40]  Do you ever have Mick Jagger say anything interesting to you?
[00:36:42]  No.
[00:36:43]  Keith Richards?
[00:36:44]  No.
[00:36:44]  But you don't expect him to be.
[00:36:46]  But you think that a comedian is going to be funny.
[00:36:50]  You would think a comedian, by virtue of the fact that they're into a voice, would be naturally funny.
[00:36:58]  No!
[00:36:58]  It's an act.
[00:37:00]  It's like an actor.
[00:37:03]  Watch any Paul Newman interview.
[00:37:06]  And you'll be asleep and there's nothing there.
[00:37:11]  It's a really weird thing.
[00:37:13]  It's one of the strangest things I've ever seen today.
[00:37:17]  And now I'm seeing also this exceedingly gratuitously look.
[00:37:24]  Anytime you see somebody will melt for Lionel.
[00:37:35]  What?
[00:37:35]  You should have t-shirts made up for your show.
[00:37:38]  Liz Sola.
[00:37:39]  You know, you got a good point there, honey.
[00:37:41]  Have some t-shirts made.
[00:37:44]  It's just a thought.
[00:37:46]  Yeah, or no, no, just t-shirts.
[00:37:48]  We'll just...
[00:37:49]  Wouldn't it be funny if we just sold, like, Blaine t-shirts?
[00:37:55]  Yeah.
[00:37:57]  Remember Louis Anderson that time?
[00:38:00]  Remember Louis...
[00:38:03]  Louie Anderson, we saw him at the cutting room.
[00:38:04]  He's nice.
[00:38:05]  We walked by afterwards.
[00:38:06]  He's standing with us here.
[00:38:08]  People can go to the shop.
[00:38:11]  You can buy them there.
[00:38:15]  By the way, what I do is I take a picture with everybody, whether you like it or not.
[00:38:20]  Oh yeah, you can't leave.
[00:38:21]  I will take a picture of you.
[00:38:23]  That's the thing I do not understand.
[00:38:25]  I do not understand.
[00:38:26]  You pay money, you go and see somebody, and then you don't talk to them.
[00:38:31]  And by the way, let me explain something to you.
[00:38:33]  And I think you realize this, for whatever it's worth, this is me.
[00:38:38]  This is it.
[00:38:39]  I'm not...
[00:38:40]  This isn't an act.
[00:38:43]  I don't know how you can act like this, but this is not me.
[00:38:48]  I am the...
[00:38:49]  How do I say this?
[00:38:52]  And I'm going to say this with all due respect.
[00:38:54]  I know it sounds weird, but I'm going to say this.
[00:38:55]  I am the perfect entertainer.
[00:38:57]  The reason why is because...
[00:39:00]  I don't do an act.
[00:39:02]  I am the act.
[00:39:04]  That's it.
[00:39:06]  It just so happens I'll do what I'm going to do whether you're watching it or not and if people do want to watch it, great.
[00:39:19]  But when I get done it's going to be the same thing.
[00:39:24]  I do not understand I think Pat Cooper was the only person I've met.
[00:39:33]  I haven't met a lot of people.
[00:39:34]  Pat Cooper I love.
[00:39:37]  Roseanne is Roseanne.
[00:39:41]  I think people would like Roseanne even more.
[00:39:43]  Roseanne's a hell of a cook.
[00:39:44]  I don't know if you knew that.
[00:39:46]  She loves her family.
[00:39:47]  She's a hell of a cook.
[00:39:48]  She's the most real.

=== Jokes and Positive Signs (15:43) ===

[00:39:53]  Last time, well, two times we saw her.
[00:39:58]  Once was...
[00:39:58]  Once she was here in New York.
[00:40:02]  We went to see her.
[00:40:02]  It was at the time...
[00:40:04]  Remember when people had the...
[00:40:06]  Remember when we weren't using...
[00:40:08]  What the hell am I trying to say?
[00:40:09]  What am I trying to say?
[00:40:10]  When we weren't having plastic straws.
[00:40:13]  Remember that?
[00:40:14]  All the plastic straws are gone.
[00:40:16]  And they give you those paper that kind of dissolved.
[00:40:18]  And then you had that metal that would get too cold.
[00:40:21]  Remember that?
[00:40:22]  Now they're back.
[00:40:24]  I almost broke my teeth.
[00:40:26]  Yeah.
[00:40:26]  Who?
[00:40:28]  Plastic straws were killing orcas?
[00:40:32]  Not anymore.
[00:40:35]  Roseanne was telling me stories about when she was from her youth.
[00:40:43]  She is absolutely the funniest.
[00:40:52]  She's naturally funny.
[00:40:53]  You know who else was very funny?
[00:40:55]  Phoebe Snow.
[00:40:58]  Phoebe Snow and I know when I tell people this women now hear me out I'm not trying to be sexist or anything.
[00:41:08]  Women are not raised telling jokes.
[00:41:11]  This is the truth.
[00:41:13]  They just don't do it.
[00:41:15]  It's a guy thing.
[00:41:16]  And you tell jokes and you hear jokes and even if you're not That great at delivering them, you want to tell jokes.
[00:41:24]  I'm sorry, it's a male thing.
[00:41:25]  I'm sorry.
[00:41:26]  A friend of mine's wife one time, I said, so two guys, so a Scotsman, a Japanese, and an Australian walk into a bar, and his wife says, really?
[00:41:38]  I said, no, it's a joke.
[00:41:41]  Or people who just don't understand this.
[00:41:43]  They don't understand the fact that, why are you telling a joke?
[00:41:46]  What does this mean?
[00:41:48]  It's weird.
[00:41:49]  Anyway, Phoebe Snow, Could tell a joke.
[00:41:54]  Phoebe Snow absolutely made me laugh.
[00:42:00]  I'm not going to go into others that I met who I think are great professionally, and then when you meet them, their politics are just.
[00:42:08]  I've never seen anything like this.
[00:42:12]  Humor is a gift.
[00:42:13]  Let me tell you something about humor.
[00:42:15]  This is going to be funny.
[00:42:17]  about this um so When people are depressed, you know the positive and negative signs of mental illness, like schizophrenia, positive signs?
[00:42:33]  Positive signs do not mean good.
[00:42:36]  Positive signs mean exaggerated signs.
[00:42:39]  For example, like paranoia is a positive sign.
[00:42:41]  Fear is normal, but this is excessive.
[00:42:46]  Laughing is excessive, but this is excessive.
[00:42:48]  Positive means too much.
[00:42:49]  Of what's normal, and the negative signs are things that are not.
[00:42:54]  Okay?
[00:42:57]  Things that are, for example, fear of crowds, fear of people, fear of interaction.
[00:43:04]  That's lower.
[00:43:06]  You're showing a negative inclination towards a particular behavior.
[00:43:14]  You don't have to be outright But there is a certain degree of humor where you want to see something that's funny.
[00:43:23]  And I hate when people try to define humor.
[00:43:27]  I hate it.
[00:43:28]  But when there is an absence of humor, either your ability to recognize it, not to reproduce it, but to recognize a sense of humor.
[00:43:38]  If you don't see anything...
[00:43:40]  In anything.
[00:43:41]  Irony.
[00:43:42]  Sometimes people have a very base sense of humor, maybe a slapstick, whatever.
[00:43:46]  But if you don't, there's something very wrong.
[00:43:49]  It's mental illness.
[00:43:50]  Mental illness.
[00:43:52]  One of the hallmarks of schizophrenia, sad to say, is the inability to use expression, um...
[00:44:02]  Can I got your tongue?
[00:44:06]  No.
[00:44:07]  There's no cat.
[00:44:08]  They can't...
[00:44:10]  Abstract and humor.
[00:44:14]  It's one of the deadliest sides.
[00:44:18]  Not that you don't even have it.
[00:44:22]  You don't recognize it.
[00:44:24]  It's not that you're not funny.
[00:44:25]  But when you don't even recognize its existence.
[00:44:31]  And things can make you laugh in the strangest way.
[00:44:35]  Sometimes you can laugh at your own frustration.
[00:44:38]  The only laughing that you don't want to hear is this.
[00:44:43]  That's not good.
[00:44:44]  That's not laughing.
[00:44:45]  That's evil.
[00:44:46]  And that's not a good, good thing.
[00:44:49]  Look at this.
[00:44:51]  Sarah says, my great aunt Shirley is hilarious.
[00:44:54]  Just sitting around talking to her is the best.
[00:44:56]  There are women, not too many, who are naturally funny and witty.
[00:44:59]  You know what?
[00:45:00]  I shouldn't say that.
[00:45:01]  It's unfair.
[00:45:02]  To say that there aren't funny women.
[00:45:04]  There are funny women.
[00:45:05]  But it's not...
[00:45:06]  I don't know why.
[00:45:09]  There is a male component sometimes to...
[00:45:15]  There's always something...
[00:45:20]  Have you ever listened to British humor?
[00:45:23]  Versus...
[00:45:23]  To hear...
[00:45:24]  Listen...
[00:45:25]  And I can't...
[00:45:26]  I can only listen to humor in English.
[00:45:30]  But to hear British humor...
[00:45:33]  One of the greatest things that ever happened to us was when Monty Python and the British Invasion came.
[00:45:38]  I never understood the goon show.
[00:45:40]  Never got that.
[00:45:41]  I can't say I saw everything, but Spike Milligan and the two Ronnies I thought were brilliant.
[00:45:50]  But Monty Python came along and that was our...
[00:45:56]  Oh!
[00:45:58]  See, to me, in my generation, Carlin came along.
[00:46:04]  That was the first time we said, this is a little...
[00:46:10]  This is...
[00:46:13]  This is not just regular humor.
[00:46:18]  This is...
[00:46:20]  This is radical.
[00:46:24]  This is not just funny.
[00:46:27]  You know, Richard Pryor...
[00:46:30]  He was great, wonderful, but I didn't get the...
[00:46:34]  It was different.
[00:46:36]  One time I saw Richard Pryor in Tampa, the highlight for Antonia, I think my friend and I were the only white people in the entire, the entire place.
[00:46:45]  He was making a movie called Bingo Long, and he had his hair, and it was processed, and they put the light right on it.
[00:46:52]  He goes, oh, you do travel in groups, don't you?
[00:46:54]  It was part of the routine.
[00:46:55]  He was great, wonderful, wonderful, but not like Harlan.
[00:46:59]  Carlin was the hair and the, hey man, and he, transformational.
[00:47:06]  That was very important.
[00:47:08]  Monty Python 2. That told us, that is, stick your, stick your, put your foot in the clutch and just let the engine just go crazy.
[00:47:18]  Whatever you want.
[00:47:19]  Just go nuts.
[00:47:21]  That was a very, very, very, very, very important.
[00:47:25]  For me also, and Seinfeld agrees, The moment where I saw the light, so to speak, was Robert Klein's Child of the 50s.
[00:47:35]  That was...
[00:47:36]  And then before that, Bill Cosby?
[00:47:40]  Stories?
[00:47:42]  Stories?
[00:47:43]  Bill Cosby cannot be repeated.
[00:47:47]  Nothing that Bill Cosby says per se is funny, but the way he says it is very funny.
[00:47:51]  Forget what he did later on in life.
[00:47:53]  Forget this.
[00:47:54]  You're right, he's a terrible person.
[00:47:55]  But when he was at his prime, And then before that, Bob Newhart.
[00:48:01]  Button Down Mind.
[00:48:02]  Biggest comedy seller ever.
[00:48:04]  And what did Bob Newhart do?
[00:48:05]  He did the phone thing.
[00:48:07]  Hello?
[00:48:08]  And what did Andy Griffith do?
[00:48:10]  The phone thing.
[00:48:11]  And they got this thing called football.
[00:48:13]  And where did they get that from?
[00:48:14]  Georgie Jessel.
[00:48:16]  Who was on the phone?
[00:48:16]  Mama.
[00:48:17]  He would talk to his mother.
[00:48:18]  Everything is kind of a derivative.
[00:48:21]  These were huge people.
[00:48:22]  Georgie Jessel was huge.
[00:48:24]  I will never understand how people think Milton Berle's funny.
[00:48:26]  I don't understand it.
[00:48:28]  I watch sometimes...
[00:48:31]  Did Bob Hope ever make you laugh?
[00:48:35]  Did Bob Hope ever...
[00:48:37]  Did he ever say anything even remotely funny?
[00:48:40]  Thanks for the memories.
[00:48:43]  They go, yeah, but that's Bob Hope.
[00:48:45]  But he's a comedian.
[00:48:47]  I never...
[00:48:48]  I don't know if it's generational.
[00:48:51]  I have no idea.
[00:48:52]  Never got that.
[00:48:53]  Never understood any of it.
[00:48:56]  Benny Hill, somebody said, that was okay.
[00:48:59]  National Lampoon.
[00:49:02]  Two things.
[00:49:04]  Maybe it's a generational thing.
[00:49:05]  National Lampoon.
[00:49:09]  SCTV.
[00:49:10]  SCTV is absolute genius.
[00:49:13]  One time, I had wisdom teeth taken out.
[00:49:17]  We had this doctor in Tampa who would just knock you out.
[00:49:21]  None of this local stuff.
[00:49:23]  He would put you out.
[00:49:25]  And God forbid, you know, you have a...
[00:49:28]  But it was very painless because you were knocked out.
[00:49:32]  But before he would knock you out, he would put you in the room.
[00:49:42]  Give a little Ativan or something.
[00:49:44]  Kind of loosen you up a little bit.
[00:49:45]  And I had, at that time, it was the National Lampoon.
[00:49:51]  Addition on foreign, on travel.
[00:49:58]  And one was going to, now I know I'm explaining this, and you can't explain cartoons.
[00:50:07]  But I'm going to break my rule and tell you what it was.
[00:50:10]  Going to cruise ships.
[00:50:13]  And the premise was, these cruise ships are so big.
[00:50:17]  They're just too big.
[00:50:20]  One was a ship.
[00:50:22]  You looked and you saw, okay, there's a ship.
[00:50:27]  But if you look at the bottom, you see the skyline of New York.
[00:50:33]  Now I started laughing.
[00:50:35]  Because I've looped up on this stuff.
[00:50:38]  And I'm laughing.
[00:50:42]  And it's suppressed.
[00:50:43]  I can't laugh because of whatever.
[00:50:46]  Then they showed foreign travel.
[00:50:52]  I think it was Gay and Wilson.
[00:50:53]  One was irregular money.
[00:50:55]  You can't put it in your bills like this.
[00:50:57]  He's trying to put them in.
[00:50:59]  And then the one that killed me was I'll just tell you this.
[00:51:07]  It was on Handicapped Olympics.
[00:51:09]  That's all I'm going to tell you.
[00:51:12]  We were at something recently.
[00:51:14]  One of the funniest things I've ever seen.
[00:51:17]  Honey, I don't know if you recall this, but let me see if I can set this up for you.
[00:51:23]  I do agree.
[00:51:25]  Don Rickles was wonderful.
[00:51:32]  How do I say this?
[00:51:33]  Don Rickles is great.
[00:51:37]  Watch him when he had to do the Reagan something for the inauguration when Emanuel Lewis Emanuel Lewis, TV's Webster Hands him the mic.
[00:51:52]  It says, be funny.
[00:51:53]  Great stuff.
[00:51:54]  Honey, I don't know if you recall this.
[00:51:57]  Recently, we were at an event.
[00:51:59]  It was a church event.
[00:52:02]  And it was something we went to to honor somebody who, you know, sometimes you can have a mass, you know, and honor somebody.
[00:52:09]  So we go.
[00:52:09]  It was interesting.
[00:52:10]  And we're there, and we're behind somebody, and I don't know what happened.
[00:52:13]  We have a friend of ours.
[00:52:15]  And for some particular reason, I don't know what happened.
[00:52:17]  I don't know why.
[00:52:20]  Who knows why?
[00:52:22]  It was a very interesting, it was a kind of a funky mass.
[00:52:27]  The priest sounded like Bela Lugosi.
[00:52:30]  I don't know about you, but a lot of times you go to places and they have people.
[00:52:34]  I guess parish priests are hard to get.
[00:52:38]  Remember the one we had, a friend of ours, her funeral, we had somebody, I don't know what, he would say, Christ in his love.
[00:52:52]  And we're thinking, I don't know where he is.
[00:52:54]  I can't make out where he's from.
[00:52:56]  I'm looking at him.
[00:52:57]  I don't know.
[00:52:59]  European.
[00:53:00]  I don't know what this is.
[00:53:01]  That was one.
[00:53:02]  But this guy was talking like this.
[00:53:04]  He sounded like Bela Lagoza.
[00:53:06]  And he took the cup.
[00:53:08]  Gave it to his disciples and said blah.
[00:53:11]  It was weird.
[00:53:13]  I don't laugh.
[00:53:16]  The sign of peace.
[00:53:19]  I haven't been to Mass in a while.
[00:53:21]  I'm still theoretically a member.
[00:53:24]  I'm retired, but nonetheless.
[00:53:26]  All of a sudden they started doing this for the Our Father.
[00:53:29]  I don't know why.
[00:53:30]  We didn't do this.
[00:53:32]  Hey!
[00:53:33]  Where did this come from?
[00:53:34]  Hey!
[00:53:36]  Hey!
[00:53:37]  Our Father!
[00:53:38]  Hey!
[00:53:40]  Okay, that's alright.
[00:53:42]  The sign of peace is the weirdest thing in the world.
[00:53:45]  The sign of peace is like this.
[00:53:48]  Norma's saying, oh God.
[00:53:50]  Okay, here's...
[00:53:51]  He took his cup, gave his...
[00:53:54]  No, I give you peace.
[00:53:56]  My peace I give you.
[00:53:58]  And now show each other the sign of peace.
[00:54:00]  Okay.
[00:54:01]  And this is what you do.
[00:54:02]  The guy behind you turns around.
[00:54:03]  Hey, how are you?
[00:54:03]  Peace.
[00:54:06]  Peace.
[00:54:07]  Pace.
[00:54:09]  In Pace.
[00:54:10]  Thank you.
[00:54:29]  Okay, fine.
[00:54:31]  Alright, great.
[00:54:32]  And then you turn the one behind you.
[00:54:34]  I like that.
[00:54:35]  That's it!
[00:54:37]  Guy in front of you turns around, you turn around the one in the back.
[00:54:40]  That's it.
[00:54:41]  Maybe one, two, two tops.
[00:54:43]  We're not going to do the whole row.
[00:54:44]  It's quick.
[00:54:46]  It's more of a, let's just pretend we're giving people.
[00:54:51]  Some people will absolutely go crazy.
[00:54:55]  They get out, they walk down the aisle, they go over here, and the priest is, you know, Bella's waiting.
[00:55:00]  If you don't mind.
[00:55:03]  Now one woman was like this.
[00:55:04]  Remember this, honey?
[00:55:05]  She was like this.
[00:55:06]  She was like giving, like, points.
[00:55:07]  She was like pointing to people.
[00:55:08]  Hey!
[00:55:09]  Hey!
[00:55:10]  So I went back to her like, hey!
[00:55:13]  I'm giving them back.
[00:55:15]  I don't know if it was that point or something else, but these people we were with behind us, all of a sudden, out of nowhere, there wasn't anything particularly funny, which made it even funnier.

=== Church Woman's Repressed Laughter (03:12) ===

[00:55:28]  You heard this, but I can't make that noise without throwing up.
[00:55:35]  It was the loudest bronchial exhalation.
[00:55:38]  It was Years of repressed laughter coming out.
[00:55:43]  It wasn't just, you know, at the moment.
[00:55:45]  It was, I mean, it was the loudest thing I've ever heard in my life.
[00:55:52]  And it was like, this is just beautiful.
[00:55:57]  And I was thinking about this.
[00:55:59]  Why is that funny?
[00:56:00]  It's Chuckles the Clown, repressed laughter, solemnity of all places, not now.
[00:56:10]  In church?
[00:56:11]  With this woman?
[00:56:13]  And I thought, I could have gone on forever.
[00:56:16]  And as soon as you're outside of the church, it's not funny anymore.
[00:56:20]  Now what was that?
[00:56:22]  Was that humor?
[00:56:23]  No.
[00:56:24]  Was that a sense of humor?
[00:56:26]  Well, obviously not, because there was nothing funny at the time.
[00:56:29]  But what was it?
[00:56:30]  What do you laugh?
[00:56:32]  It's not laughing.
[00:56:33]  It's something else.
[00:56:34]  It's...
[00:56:37]  Something in you is over.
[00:56:39]  Something's fighting you.
[00:56:40]  It's not sorrowful.
[00:56:42]  But it's just like a cry.
[00:56:44]  It's a paroxysm.
[00:56:47]  It's blurting.
[00:56:49]  It's almost like you've been...
[00:56:51]  It means something.
[00:56:53]  It's very, very symbolic.
[00:56:54]  It's not just, you know...
[00:56:57]  And of course, we're...
[00:57:00]  We normally would say, ah, whatever.
[00:57:02]  No.
[00:57:03]  I've been thinking about that forever.
[00:57:06]  What did that mean?
[00:57:08]  Animals don't do it.
[00:57:09]  Dogs don't do it.
[00:57:09]  Dogs don't laugh.
[00:57:10]  People don't laugh.
[00:57:11]  I don't know why people laugh.
[00:57:12]  Babies laugh.
[00:57:13]  Babies, from the moment they're babies, they understand this, they get this.
[00:57:18]  They laugh.
[00:57:20]  You don't have to teach them.
[00:57:23]  And by the way, they will cry for a variety of reasons, but they don't laugh unless they're happy or they're funny.
[00:57:29]  Or you see something, you're doing something to them, but they realize...
[00:57:34]  What an asshole.
[00:57:35]  They look at you and you go and they're laughing and the baby's thinking, can you believe this?
[00:57:41]  This is my parent.
[00:57:41]  Look at this.
[00:57:42]  There's it.
[00:57:45]  We'll talk about it one day.
[00:57:46]  You've got stuff to do.
[00:57:47]  I've got stuff to do.
[00:57:48]  Pardon me for waxing.
[00:57:53]  What's that, honey?
[00:57:54]  You alright?
[00:57:55]  It's okay.
[00:57:58]  Alright, that's enough.
[00:57:59]  Follow me at linomedia.com.
[00:58:01]  Don't forget Lin's Warriors.
[00:58:03]  Please go to Lin's Warriors and on YouTube, Lin's Warriors.
[00:58:08]  Sign up.
[00:58:10]  Please follow it.
[00:58:11]  Thank you very much for being a part of this thing.
[00:58:14]  Thank you.
[00:58:14]  I hope you don't mind me not talking about Russia today.

=== Same Bad Time (00:30) ===

[00:58:18]  I'm having a...
[00:58:19]  I'm really...
[00:58:20]  I'm really...
[00:58:22]  I'm being more focused and targeted in my anks because I'm always, I'm just angry about everything.
[00:58:29]  I'm always angry about this.
[00:58:30]  And the cash prices are this.
[00:58:32]  And they came with a baby for this.
[00:58:34]  And Biden did this.
[00:58:35]  And Trump did this.
[00:58:35]  And it's like, you know, it's like, this is just not the way to live.
[00:58:39]  It's important to recognize it.
[00:58:42]  Anyway.
[00:58:43]  All right, my friends.
[00:58:44]  Have a great and a glorious day.
[00:58:46]  See you tomorrow.
[00:58:46]  Same bad time, same bad channel.