Dec. 2, 2021 - Liberty Hangout - Kaitlin Bennett
12:36
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| A lot of you may be shocked to hear this, but for the last three years you've been watching my videos, I was an atheist. | |
| But that's not the case anymore, and I want to open up to you guys about my journey. | |
| ���� you | |
| Being an atheist is not what most people think it is. | |
| At least it wasn't for me. | |
| Most of you probably think that people are atheists because they want to do whatever they want and have no consequences. | |
| If you don't believe in God, His commandments, sin, or hell, then you don't have to worry about living a sinful lifestyle or feeling guilty for your actions. | |
| This was not the case for me. | |
| Everything I'm about to tell you is of course from my own experience and my perspective. | |
| Being an atheist was one of the most terrifying things I ever put myself through, and I did it for more than a decade. | |
| Because I was so ignorant and uninformed, I feared what it would mean to go to hell. | |
| When I started doubting God and religion at around 12 years old, it came from a place of disbelief at the stories in the Bible and also being scared of hell and Satan. | |
| It was easier for me to just reject it all if it meant not taking seriously the possibility of burning in hell or the reality of Satan. | |
| But that did not make my fears of those two things go away. | |
| The most memorable fear I had was dying. | |
| The thought of my death terrified me. | |
| Did I really live just to be put in the ground? | |
| Is my whole existence going to end with worms eating my brain? | |
| And the worst part was thinking, what would my family endure after death? | |
| Would I really never see them again? | |
| Unknown to my 12-year-old brain, rejecting the goodness of God's light for the sake of trying to minimize my fears of hell would lead me to exacerbate my anxieties and fears surrounding this topic. | |
| You see, what would always occupy my mind was the question, what if I'm wrong? | |
| And that is an uncomfortable feeling to live with as a teenager and young adult. | |
| I firmly believe that anyone who proudly boasts their atheism is trying to convince themselves that they're right, not the people they're boasting to. | |
| And that comes from experience. | |
| Even though it scared me, I had always heard that if you reject God to your friends, then he will reject you from heaven. | |
| Well, I had already done that, so why would I stop? | |
| Unfortunately for me, I did not grasp the depth and beauty of what Jesus' death meant for people like me. | |
| I truly had no understanding whatsoever of his mercy, his sacrifice, and ultimately, his forgiveness until now. | |
| When I would get mobbed on college campuses by hundreds of liberals, I would constantly have anti-Christian remarks hurled at me. | |
| The students would accuse me of being a Bible thumper, a stupid Christian, and you get the point. | |
| But when I would tell them I'm actually an atheist, they would be shocked and almost seem a little more accepting of me. | |
| One time a guy actually backed off from berating me in a mob of 400 people when I shared that information about myself and it did not make me feel good at all. | |
| How could I possibly align with people who treat others with no dignity? | |
| I was actually so embarrassed of myself that I would make sure those parts never made it into the final video that was released to you all. | |
| Even when I was an atheist, I always believed in right and wrong, in good and evil. | |
| One issue I've always been very passionate about is that I'm anti-abortion. | |
| I've always recognized that every human life is sacred, but could not justify my position without God. | |
| It seems so obvious to me that some actions in this world are blatantly evil, but how could I say this if there was nothing in the universe to decide what's absolutely right and wrong. | |
| If, in the end, nothing matters, then why would it matter right now? | |
| I battled with those feelings internally, wondering, if I truly believe there's no God, why do I feel so ashamed for saying it out loud? | |
| It's because the truth about God, Jesus, and our creation is written on our hearts for us to search for Him and ultimately end up finding the truth that is so apparent if you just seek it. | |
| I'm sure many of you are asking what made me convert. | |
| I'm sure you can guess that the answer isn't that I had a magical experience that just changed my mind one day and I've been blessed ever since. | |
| Instead, it started years ago with my incredibly devout Catholic husband. | |
| We married in the Catholic Church in 2020 because he wanted to make sure our marital vows were sealed by Christ and fulfilled through the sacrament of holy matrimony. | |
| I had no idea how important that was back then, but I'm so thankful today that he ensured that happened. | |
| Over the next year, I would continue to reject religion altogether until he asked me to attend Mass with him for probably the 500th time, and I begrudgingly agreed. | |
| Now, if you've ever been to a Catholic Mass, you might understand what I mean when I say I had a lot of questions about the faith and the traditions of Catholicism. | |
| So I started asking them. | |
| Then I would ask the same questions to many of my non-Catholic and even non-Christian friends. | |
| For months, I would just ask an incredible amount of questions and realized I literally knew nothing about Christianity. | |
| Of course, I rejected it for years. | |
| How could I accept something that I didn't realize I knew nothing about? | |
| The more I learned about the truth, the more the lens that I saw the world through changed. | |
| One of the defining moments where I realized I was wrong was learning that pride was the worst of the seven deadly sins. | |
| Pride Month has always been toxic, predatory, and perverted, even from a secular point of view. | |
| It is not a coincidence that a lifestyle ingrained in depression, suicide, sinful behavior, and regret is given the title of the most deadly sin and then forced down our throats by every major corporation and social media platform and then targeted to child audiences. | |
| That doesn't happen by coincidence. | |
| Now I'm sure you all want me to get to the story of what was the turning point in my life that really brought me to where I am. | |
| Right after we renewed our wedding vows in St. Augustine earlier this year, we arrived home to find my five-year-old kitty, Halsey, acting strange and throwing up. | |
| Long story short, Halsey ended up in the emergency room for an entire week with a suspected diagnosis of cancer. | |
| You can imagine how I took this news considering how much I love my cat. | |
| I went into a state of such sadness, hopelessness, and anxiety that I actually developed a skin condition that was lurking in my DNA waiting to be triggered by a traumatic event. | |
| During this time, Justin offered to pray with me for Halsey to return home to us. | |
| So I did. | |
| Praying to St. Francis of Assisi, who is the patron saint of animals, was the only thing that brought me peace. | |
| It was the only time of day that I felt that no matter what ended up happening, I would be alright. | |
| Only when praying was I able to calm my anxieties. | |
| It also helped me ask more questions about how prayer works, how you're supposed to pray, and what you're supposed to expect from God when he answers your prayers. | |
| I do admit I feel a little vulnerable sharing this with you all because I know it sounds silly to be brought to my knees in prayer over my cat when there are several other issues in this world that I should have been praying for all along that do seem much more important than my cat getting sick. | |
| However, this must have been the journey I was meant to take and I can't regret the path that brought me to where I am today. | |
| And evidently our prayers for Halsey worked. | |
| We were able to bring her home and get her crazy-eyed girl back with us with absolutely no answers as to what made her so sick. | |
| All I know is that my husband has been praying for years for my conversion and an opportunity for me to see Christ in action, and that may have been exactly what happened. | |
| After falling on my knees in prayer in such a dark time, I now fall on my knees in prayer when I am overly joyful and thankful for the blessings I have today, which of course includes my Halsey Girl. | |
| I'd like to give you some advice from a former atheist specifically on how to raise your children to not end up like me. | |
| It starts by praying together every day as a family and making sure Christ is put first in your household. | |
| Creating traditions that last for decades into their adult lives and eventually into their own families ensures they never have to go to bed with anxieties about their eternal life. | |
| I wish I had discovered the truth earlier in my life, but I am humbled to know that even a sinner like me was never forgotten by God. | |
| In the months since I decided to commit my life fully to Christ and I'm currently going through RCIA to convert to Catholicism. | |
| Some of you may be wondering why the Catholic faith and not just Christian or non-denominational. | |
| In the beginning of this video, I mentioned that I asked several different types of Christians and non-Christians the same questions. | |
| The only answers that made sense were from the Catholic perspective. | |
| It is the only faith that can answer questions about the origins of the universe, the compatibility between faith and science, the way God reveals himself to mankind, the meaning behind sacred scripture, and the way in which he communicates his spirit to us sacramentally today. | |
| And the greatest thing is that it traces all the way back to Christ himself through a clear succession of the apostles so that we can be 100% confident that we are receiving the same Jesus as Peter and Paul 2,000 years ago in exactly the same manner that he intended. | |
| As my priest would say, the other versions of Christianity that broke off from Catholicism fail to trace themselves back to more than a couple hundred years and fail to answer life's most important questions. | |
| When I'm seeking information, I want the full answer. | |
| I want to know as much as I can. | |
| I want the proof to back it up. | |
| And when it comes to Jesus Christ, I want to receive him fully. | |
| None other than Christ's one holy Catholic and apostolic church built on his rock Peter offered that to me. | |
| And none other than the Catholic faith gave proper respect to Jesus' mother, Mary, who said yes to Christ before anyone else. | |
| In addition to all of these things, I married my husband because I trust him. | |
| I trust him to be loyal to me. | |
| I trust him to love me, to protect me, but most importantly, to guide me as the man of the house. | |
| I fully trust that his love for me would never have him leading me down a path that wasn't the very best for my eternal life. | |
| I urge you to attend a Catholic Mass, ask the parishioners questions, and immerse yourself in the history and tradition of the church, which is the only church that dates back to the foundations built by Christ himself. | |
| Then you'll understand for yourself. | |
| Thank you all for being so incredibly patient with me as I have stepped away from the toxic political culture I found myself wrapped up in, and I thank you for allowing me to share my journey with you. | |
| Please make sure you have notifications turned on so you don't miss our next video. |
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