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Oct. 19, 2023 - The Podcast of the Lotus Eaters

01:30:44

The Podcast of the Lotus Eaters #766

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	music Hello and welcome to the podcast of the Lotus Eaters.
	For Thursday, I think.
	Anyway, I am joined today by Callum Smiles.
	Hello!
	And the Lord of Kabul himself.
	Hello everyone, good to be back.
	This is a sequel, isn't it?
	It's technically, I suppose.
	I guess so, yeah.
	I mean, wait till the third time I'm going to create another international diplomatic incident.
	Hehe.
	Bro, I caused the war in North Korea.
	For an office moment.
	It's great to have you back.
	It's good to be back.
	I kind of miss Kabul, though, but it's good to be in England, I guess.
	I'm lying, but... I mean, we're in Swindon.
	I was just about to say that.
	I was dodging the knives as I was walking here, man, 100%.
	I hate to say that, but we've had a few problems recently.
	Anyway, I have an announcement to make before we begin, so it is that we'll be doing a Lads Hour after this, so that's 30 minutes after we end.
	We'll be coming back on to do the ideal holiday for all channel guests, which includes the Lord of Cabal.
	Please, please come.
	It's going to be a great show.
	I'm going to shitpost so much, I might even slip some gamer words in there.
	Don't do that.
	It is premium, it's behind a paywall, but, you know, we still are under British rule.
	You're not broke, are you?
	You can afford it.
	Join.
	What, to go to jail?
	So, yeah, I suppose today we're going to be talking about Lord Miles Returns Part 2, I Want These People Out Now, which was a funny speech in Parliament, and Our Big Fat Problem, which I presume is yours?
	Anyway, I suppose we shall begin.
	So Lord Myles has returned.
	He's joining us today.
	And so, I'm not really sure how this will go, but we put Myles in charge of a segment, which might be a disaster, but we're supposed to find out.
	But Lord Myles, people don't know, has been in Taliban custody.
	I think it's the correct term.
	Holiday.
	Holiday.
	I had a lovely... It was an unexpected mandatory holiday, guys.
	It's a nice mandatory holiday for what, eight months now?
	Eight months, and it wasn't just for Taliban, it was their intelligence agency, GDI, so it's like their MI6, their CIA.
	So, he's been having good fun trying to reintegrate back into the hellscape that is England compared to the glorious... Well, it's kind of easy, there's no real difference between the two countries now, nowadays, so... I just walked around, I was like, wow, it reminds me of Kabul.
	Oh, wait, this is Birmingham.
	I mean, you say that.
	I had the same thing when I came back.
	Oh yeah, yeah.
	I've seen your latest video.
	That's excellent, by the way.
	I watched that in Taliban prison and the Taliban were like, wow, that's really good.
	Lovely country.
	I'm like... The GDI are watching my videos being like, oh man, London has fallen.
	Millions must...
	Anyway, but I suppose I'll let you take it away and tell us how you've been, man.
	Yeah, of course.
	So it's been a lovely holiday, lovely to get away from it all.
	You know, I've changed quite a bit, had a good time.
	You've shaved.
	Yeah, I shaved.
	My hairline's doing excellent, as you guys can see.
	So it's branded now, so it spells an M for Miles, you know, so it's on purpose.
	No, for Mujahideen.
	Yeah, for Mujahideen.
	No, it's for Mossad, so Mossad Miles, you know.
	I'm going to get arrested again for saying that when I go back.
	For people who are wondering, Miles does schizo post IRL quite a lot, but it is in good humour.
	I'm retarded, I just want to make sure.
	I really am retarded guys, let's be honest here.
	I went to a British university to study physics, so it's like 70 IQ moments.
	I can't even watch myself, I'll kill myself.
	I'm just like Forrest Gump.
	Right, it's the same thing.
	Babe.
	Anyway, we're going to get back into the segment, guys.
	This is really going well so far.
	Thank you for this opportunity.
	So, when I got arrested in Kabul, this was my fifth time in Afghanistan.
	So, you know, you casually pop down to Afghanistan five times, it does raise some suspicions.
	Taliban were like, Bro, why have you come here?
	What's going on, man?
	Is this a midlife crisis?
	Are you a spy?
	I'm worried about you.
	Yeah, they're like, we're concerned about you, man.
	And I was like, hey, I like your country.
	I like going for a holiday.
	And to be fair, you look at my name and you know what comes up all the time?
	Danger tourist.
	You know, he's just going to dangerous places.
	Partly, partly, but I also do some business.
	So I'm opening a gold mine in Afghanistan, as you casually do.
	You know, you've got Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Obviously.
	Exactly.
	You go to open events at universities, like, you know, you've got a lawyer, you've got like... That's the goldmine in Afghanistan society.
	Yeah, yeah, basically, yeah.
	Opening a Morrison's franchise is just saturated, so you go to Afghanistan and open a goldmine.
	Exactly.
	I'm all a Tesco's guy myself, about a £3 meal deal.
	Actually, it's gone up to £4 now, bloody impatient.
	Bro, the pub card, you've missed so much.
	It's a good thing you love country.
	Is that gold?
	It's so, yeah, exactly, yeah.
	I'll just try and pay in gold bullions in Tesco's, you know.
	Probably won't cover half of groceries nowadays, bloody hell.
	But anyway, I became the biggest Taliban merch salesman in the West, so I would actually buy up a bunch of Taliban merch, fly you back to the UK and sell it at a huge markup.
	And to be fair, it's worth it for the risk that I have to go through and all that, so I made a decent chunk of change off it, and to be fair, it was very much worth it.
	So, I remember all my friends were like, Miles, you're retarded, it's gonna pay terribly, you know, what are you doing?
	And they had PhDs about earning less money than the travelling Taliban merch salesman.
	Things are quite good right now.
	I like how when people come from the Middle East, like Europe, they sell knock-off Man United shirts and like Brazil football shirts from 2002 and you're there going, who wants a turban?
	I'll say yes, it's like... Get your turban pad, a turban!
	The amount of times I would go into like an airport and I would, you know, I would, I know I could walk through without declaring anything but I didn't want to mess with the airport police and all that stuff.
	So I slam, you know, my backpack on the, uh, something to declare section, unzip it, and I go, oi oi, got some Taliban merch here, got some headbands, I got some, I got some 9-11 merch.
	Was it carrot sticks black taped together?
	Yeah, literally.
	I've got like, uh, I've got like some swords, some stuff like this, and they're like, you know, they're just like, holy crap!
	They call it counter-terrorism, it's like, there's nothing we can do about Miles, he's just kind of a goofy guy, you know?
	Yeah, somehow as well, Shopify allows me to do my stuff and it's all chill.
	They're not a terrorist group, to be clear.
	Yeah, true.
	This is one of the quirks people don't seem to understand sometimes, which is that the Taliban aren't declared a terrorist organization in any part of the West.
	The only places I can think of, at least on Wikipedia, it says Canada and Japan.
	I've sold to Canada before.
	That's the customer's problem.
	But it means that what you're doing is completely legal, which is what makes you such a weird and interesting character in that way.
	Yeah, it's like no one's buying and selling that stuff.
	And to be fair, it's clearly under Taliban rule, so their merch does sell well.
	I've had some embassies buy their new flag off me.
	Now, I can't say which embassy, but I've seen the shipping addresses.
	It's genuine.
	I think maybe some guy's just ordering and sending it to the Afghan embassies to troll them, maybe.
	But, you know, some weird people do buy my stuff and it's a good business.
	And also the goldmine thing, that's next level, guys.
	So, you know, if I wasn't going to ever get a mortgage at this point, you know, the goldmine's going to exclude me from ever banking or anything.
	So, turns out Afghanistan has what Uh, $3 trillion worth of mineral reserves.
	$200 million are in this one site.
	No one's bidding for it.
	The Americans can't go there.
	Again?
	Yeah, yeah.
	They can't, yeah.
	They come back just for the gold.
	Yeah, they can't- Oh, we forgot our $3 trillion worth of minerals!
	Like, oh, crap, yeah!
	The oil!
	Oh, we need to bring, uh, freedom or something.
	We're gonna spread some democracy and take back three trillion.
	I don't believe in democracy, man.
	It's kind of cringe, you know.
	It's just, it's a bunch of retards voting in retards, you know.
	Actually, I should be head of democracy.
	I'm a retard.
	But anyway, uh, $200 million worth of gold is in that side.
	The Americans can't bid on it because obviously they're Americans and the Chinese already have enough land rights up north.
	So they don't want too many, uh, Chinese investors taking over Afghanistan.
	So apparently I'm the Taliban's top guy for this stuff.
	So there we are.
	I mean, for people who don't understand as well, because there was some criticism from people who weren't familiar of whether we're like, wow, you know, why would you be taking such risk?
	It is business.
	Yeah.
	This is something about international people, at least.
	I mean, we met some when we were there, like other human beings who do stuff for business in dangerous countries.
	It's actually not that unusual.
	Yeah, it's very common.
	They're just not posting about it on Twitter for obvious reasons.
	They've got common sense, you know?
	There are hundreds of people in Afghanistan right now, British people, Americans, Chinese, all this other stuff, just doing everyday business because it is necessary.
	It's just not very visually public.
	Yeah, yeah.
	I think you're probably the...
	Top guy for making this like a thing where people understand, oh, there are human beings who go out and do these, you know, big risk, big reward situations.
	It's the opposite opportunity.
	Exactly.
	You can't take the gold mining in Afghanistan pill.
	You know, some people earn 30 grand a year out of uni working some crappy nine to five job, but I just goof off and just sell stuff on Shopify and You know, dig up money from a little ground and hopefully I don't get executed.
	Hopefully I just make a few bucks.
	It's a new pipeline that people should go down, you know.
	You've got dropshipping, you've got, you know, you've got setting up a Shopify store.
	Okay, now, now, gold order.
	That's the next thing, guys.
	You know, Andrew Tate will pick on this someday, I guarantee it.
	It's, it's the next big thing.
	Are you actually, I do, if this does work out and you do end up setting up a goldmine, are you actually going to bring back samples to sell?
	Because I want to.
	Yeah, yeah, no, I, I will, because I'm really autistic.
	The Lord Miles goldmine.
	Oh, yeah, of course.
	I've got a piece on the wall.
	No, just to piss off my university that tried to kick me out.
	I'm going to call it the Loughborough University Goldmine Afghanistan Campus.
	Yeah, just to piss them off.
	But they can't do that.
	You're Afghani.
	Yeah, exactly.
	Well, here's the thing, guys, too.
	I got offered Afghan citizenship.
	And so the guys were like, hey... Oh, you see how brown he is?
	Yeah, exactly.
	I got a tan, you know.
	I look like Walter White on that photo over there.
	Walter Brown.
	Should we go through the photos?
	Yeah, let's go through them.
	So we'll start in the beginning.
	Yeah, of course.
	Miles has brought for us a show and tell slideshow of good times.
	Yeah, man, this is my hard-of-day presentation.
	So a friend and I, one of them is James, one of them is me.
	When we got arrested, obviously they were saying, hey, the security, we can't show where we're taking you.
	At this point, we thought, oh, nothing's going to go wrong.
	So we put a bag over their head and tie us up a little bit.
	And we're just laughing.
	We think it's kind of goofy.
	Really bad omen.
	How did you get a picture?
	They let us take a picture.
	I was like, I literally pulled out my phone.
	I was like, hey, take a pic, take a pic.
	And they're like, oh, I'm going to get to the station.
	And pass you by me, it's no problem.
	They were just giggling at us.
	They thought it was chill.
	Because people find it that difficult to believe sometimes.
	Because I can testify being with you in Afghanistan.
	Oh, yeah.
	Sincerely, they want to have fun too.
	Yeah, yeah, it's like, they're a bunch of lads, you know.
	Everyone, when they think of a Taliban, they think of Black Hawk Down or some other... Serious faces.
	Yeah, it's very serious, you know, very, I hate, I hate the West, billions must die, type of thing.
	But, honestly, they're just a bunch of lads that went through a war.
	They've got their own country back, and they're just kind of like, sometimes a little bit bored.
	You know what's funny is you're saying this and like some people could take like uh offense or something like that.
	Yeah good!
	That's weird.
	That's funny.
	No but what's really funny is I remember when Kabul fell and the guy in charge of British defense went on national television and said exactly the same thing.
	What did he say exactly?
	He said they're country boys and they're anti-corruption and they want their country back.
	And I think it was Tim Burley interviewing him was just like Huh, alright.
	Yeah, it's true though, it's definitely not wrong.
	I think, you know, classist freedom fighters, they just want to goof off, you know.
	Honestly, I would just say white boy summer, kind of.
	Okay, so now we're a little bit closer.
	This is me in Taliban prison, by the way.
	So I didn't go to the actual physical prison, I went to a guest house.
	Because they were like, you know, Miles didn't have a permit for going to this goldmine area, this site.
	You know, I screwed up, I do apologise for Taliban, genuinely.
	Because I got respect for the rule of law there, I screwed up a little bit.
	At first they suspected I was a spy, then they found out I wasn't.
	I'm just a goofy, quirked-up kid who's just having a fun, honest holiday doing some everyday business in Afghanistan, as you do.
	Just a humble shoe salesman?
	Yeah, I'm a humble Afghan shoe salesman.
	Oh, by the way, shameless plug right here.
	Go for it.
	Yeah, man.
	Shameless plug.
	Shoes!
	So I got, these are Taliban shoes right here, I'm very sorry for dirtying your desk.
	Did you get them signed by the prison?
	Oh yeah, yeah, so I was like, I went to the staff in the prison and I was like, hey man, sign my stuff, sign my stuff, you know, sign me up.
	And they signed my stuff like, I love Afghanistan, I think this says... Afghanistan number one.
	Yeah, yeah.
	That was actually me, that was actually me by the way.
	Next up in the auction we'll have signed football boots worn by Cristiano Ronaldo himself.
	Welcome to QVC.
	Did they just finally get some, like, boxers shoes from the 1990s that just turned up?
	Yeah, these are made in Pakistan, but these are like the Air Force ones over there, so all the Taliban wear these.
	And I thought, oh jeez man, another business opportunity.
	I need to buy off 50 units of Taliban shoes and sell them in the West.
	And so the Taliban were amazed by this when they were interrogating me.
	They were like, why do you have 50 pairs of our shoes?
	I was like, business my friend, business.
	You can sell them for big bucks.
	And they were just staring at me like, okay man.
	So if you go on my Twitter, He's on eBay.
	Happy bidding, guys.
	And you want some shoes that were in the UK in the 90s and are now being sold?
	If you wear them to the airport, you'll get a free finger-up.
	Wear it, don't shy.
	Very good stuff.
	This will scare all the hoes away.
	Completely.
	You know, you'd have to be autistic to buy these, so all your followers, I guess.
	This is your business to explain.
	Yeah, man, like you could buy these up for a few quid if you buy them in bulk.
	I mean, obviously shipping is a logistical nightmare, but I've sorted it out because I've got my top T's and my top Taliban in Afghanistan helping me out.
	I remember there were some people asking, like, why is the price such and such?
	And I just remember thinking, well, you could go to Afghanistan and get one yourself, Yeah, it's like, if you want to go, I can help you guys with the visas and you can pay like several thousand pounds for flights.
	But it's like, I go there and I... Wait, we're not endorsing this as a company either, just to make clear.
	I am.
	Yeah, I'm game.
	Views of Lord Miles do not necessarily represent the views of the management.
	So true.
	Whilst it's good business, I'm doing quite well.
	I'll never get a mortgage, I don't think.
	I don't think NatWest will ever approve of my doings.
	Or life insurance.
	Yeah, somehow I had life insurance, but the premiums are stupidly high.
	I don't have more about my activity.
	Back to your activity.
	Yeah, back to my activity.
	That's me in Taliban prison, right there.
	You see that?
	I'm goofing off, I'm smiling.
	It's a guest house, so I'm just staying in a normal house.
	I have my laptop, I'm watching movies with the Taliban, like Rambo 3.
	It's like an Afghan Fawlty Towers.
	Yeah, it really was.
	Honestly, it felt like... Most people thought you were either dead or, I don't know, in a basement somewhere.
	There is no scientific evidence that I can die.
	Firstly, most things will never kill me.
	99.999% of things will never kill me.
	So only one thing in this world can kill me.
	And I am convinced by my delusions of grandeur that it will be for North Central East, or North Central Ireland.
	One day guys, big if true.
	Anyway, I'm chilling.
	This is one of the type, and he's like, hey, how can we take your photos?
	Lovely hat.
	This is me just chilling on my bed.
	I had the American ex look.
	I shaved my head because I thought, you know, what am I going to look like?
	This is me with one member of... I'm kind of like Mad Dog here, but um...
	That's one member of their GDI we've, uh, blurred his face for security reasons.
	I'm just chilling with these guys, hanging out with them, playing rock-paper-scissors, tic-tac-toe.
	We're exercising together in the morning, we're eating food together.
	We're actually playing Team Fortress 2 together, you know that video game?
	I had my gaming laptop with me, and I was like, hey man, Want to give a go?
	And they had some fun, man.
	They had some fun.
	We watched the new Barbie movie together.
	Sorry, you had a ladies' night in.
	Yeah, man.
	Well, we had some passion party subtitle files and they would always go to the market with me.
	They would talk about boys and everything.
	Yeah, man.
	We were just lying on the floor like, what do you think of Brad?
	What do you think of Mohammed?
	Are they pro-Ken or not in the end?
	Yeah, they were like, this is a very, they were like, very good movie.
	I don't understand it a lot, but it is quite good.
	Uh, at first when we watched the movies, uh, they were very, very, very, not very liberal about it.
	So every time a woman was on the screen, they would go, ah, just say, try and like flash past the woman on the screen.
	Ah, Amy Schumer!
	Something we all have in common.
	Yeah.
	We just didn't like see women in the movies and like when we watched, you know, women that were just in the whole movie, it was very hard.
	We just skipped through two hours of a movie and only watched 10 minutes of it.
	But when we, uh, eventually they kind of...
	It was fun, man.
	Eventually, they loved Titanic.
	They watched Titanic and they loved that.
	There was one scene I think they really liked.
	I can't mention what scene it was, but one scene really resonated with them.
	But they actually were hopeless romantics about it.
	One of the really tough Taliban dudes actually shed a tear and he looked quite sad at the end.
	Knocker, knocker!
	Jack could have fit on the board!
	Knocker, knocker!
	I just imagine in the quote, like, if I was going to write a hit piece on you, now I can say that you said the Taliban are hopeless romantics.
	Yeah, true, man.
	Honestly, they have heart, you know, they're humans.
	They're the same as us in some way, you know.
	No mass immigration, trust me, they could stay right there.
	To be fair though, I don't know what your opinion is on this, but I found the case after I came back, which is, okay, you guys are very different.
	In which case, your country, your rules, whatever.
	It's not my country.
	In which case, I think everyone can get along with that.
	Yeah, it's true, mate.
	I think we should kick out all the Afghans, to be honest.
	What, to send them back to Afghanistan?
	Yeah, why not?
	Alright.
	This is England, man.
	See you as well.
	Yeah, and also Miles' opinions don't necessarily represent the views of the management, I will say.
	Not publicly, anyway.
	Also, this is me, Walter White, laughing.
	So, you know, Jesse, we need to open for poppy seeds.
	Yeah, we need to open for poppy seeds.
	Jesse, Jesse, Jesse!
	Jesse, we need to declare jihad against the Americans!
	That's cool, man.
	Did you introduce them to Walter White?
	Yeah, we watched Breaking Bad with the Taliban.
	I had it on my laptop.
	I bought it from the bazaar for like 50 pence, the entire Breaking Bad series.
	And it had Farsi subtitles, so they were watching a few episodes with me.
	And when I shaved my head like this, about halfway through my stay, they literally pointed at me and said, Walter, Walter.
	I was like, Walter?
	Yeah, don't you dick away, Walter.
	It's autistic, but I love it.
	But honestly, look right here.
	They looked after me.
	Honestly, they were really kind people.
	Obviously, I did commit a crime.
	That's my bad.
	But they were like, you know, it's a small crime.
	If you need a taste of home, we'll go buy you some takeaway occasionally.
	We'll go get you some Coke.
	You can have your laptop, of course.
	We can let you download movies.
	We can go on picnics.
	So I was just chilling.
	I was just chilling, guys.
	Your detention was pretty cushy by the looks of it.
	Oh, it's very cushy because it's like small crime, small problem, you know?
	Okay, but also you're a special case.
	I am special, yes.
	No, not like mum would say.
	But I mean in this situation of you being a guy who's come back so many times with a profile and is quite unusual.
	Yeah, I do mean like mum would say.
	So I was pretty honest with these people.
	They saw my previous work and they were like, Oh, actually some of your, some of our staff, they actually follow you on Twitter previous to this.
	We think you're kind of chill.
	And I was like, that's what I was getting at.
	Cause they know who you are.
	They figured out who I am.
	They figured out, Oh, I'm coming to do like a big business.
	And that gold mine could be worth $200 million.
	So we're like, this guy seems all right, to be fair.
	You know, he's just made a small mistake.
	Didn't have a permit.
	Happens to the best of us, to be fair.
	You know, I mean, it's very paperwork.
	Yeah, it's paperwork.
	It's how you do not like paperwork.
	So we're like, you know, you're going to stay with us a little bit.
	You have a very small sentence, but we're going to keep you cushy.
	You know, we're going to keep you happy.
	No problem.
	Just, you know, you're a brother, you're a friend, you're a guest.
	We're going to look after you.
	And I was like, thank you, my friends.
	And in fact, I made friends with them.
	They were very lovely.
	Look, I had that lovely pizza.
	Over here, I had some chips and some biscuits.
	I learned some Pashto, too.
	So I chilled.
	I'm proud of you for that, because I remember when we were there, like, you didn't learn a damn word.
	Yeah, exactly.
	Can I learn, like, at least, thank you?
	And I was like, bro, you should learn something.
	Well, the Afghans come here and don't learn a word.
	So I thought, I should go over there and just... Have that, you bastard.
	Good stuff.
	Oh yeah, so... Banana?
	What's that?
	So when I went there, I was staying with some other people in the guesthouse, of course.
	We had about eight Taliban servants.
	They introduced us as servants to us, saying, you know, we're going to look after you.
	We're here to keep you happy, keep you, you know, stable, all good.
	And they were chill.
	They were just lads hanging out with me.
	You know, it felt like I was back at uni in a shared accommodation.
	And this photo here is one that was with another guy, another prisoner, but he got released a while back.
	And this is me.
	I started bulking as well.
	So I started, you know, buying a lot of food.
	And I got kind of swole at that point.
	It was kind of good, you know, just posing.
	So it got to a point where I bought some workout equipment and I was teaching the Taliban, hey, this is how you do, this is how many sets you do, this is progressive overload, you know, this type of stuff.
	So it got to a point where I was kind of doing a fitness class with the Taliban every morning.
	That was quite fun.
	I mean, look at that.
	You've got eight months to burn, I mean.
	Yeah, literally, yeah.
	I would buy your Taliban workout DVD and bring it out.
	It's way better than any of Davina McCall's.
	Just eat like five loaves of naan a day and just like lift constantly and just listen to like Afghan music and then the power of God.
	Afghan music?
	I think not.
	Yeah, no, no, no, no.
	No, no, no, no music.
	No, no, Taliban music is actually alright.
	It's like, it's a lot of... Nasheeds?
	have and just some singing over it.
	There's no instruments.
	Instruments aren't allowed.
	It's up my alley though.
	Yeah, yeah.
	Yeah, I remember I would wake up sometimes in the morning with Taliban just like listening to music on Spotify.
	No joke.
	There's a Taliban side of Spotify.
	fight there's a taiwan side of spa but i never just listening to the music in the morning like most people would at uni or something so they were really you know it was kind of relatable this is me in the entrance of the gold mine look at me look at the headline i had i had some hope left at that point so inside there is where the soviets actually took geological samples and went oh and this this is worth like 200 million dollars right here so i went inside we actually found like just straight up gold right there we tested see if it was full of gold and stuff it was real gold if we dug that out
	There's a Taliban side of Spotify.
	They were just listening to the music in the morning like most people would at uni or something.
	So they were really, you know, it was kind of relatable.
	This is me in the entrance of a gold mine.
	Look at me.
	Look at the headline.
	I had some hope left at that point.
	there'd be what a few a few hundred or a few thousand dollars just stuck in the wall right there with gold yeah it's it's crazy you know There's so much money to be made in Afghanistan, and it is a great country for business, too.
	They really do want foreign investment, but sadly, the Western media has kind of screwed them over in that type of stuff, with the perception of things.
	If you go there, they're really open for foreign business, so I'm going back.
	I'm going to bite it back, by the way.
	Yeah, this is me at the end of the cave.
	The cave honestly went on for about five minutes, so we are like 300 meters down.
	It's very deep.
	It was quite fun.
	I like the Taliban shoes.
	These are real.
	Please buy them.
	I need to buy food.
	Thanks.
	Just a humble shoe salesman.
	Yeah, man.
	I'm just a humble shoe salesman.
	That's why I put on my taxes if I did them and paid them.
	No, I haven't paid my taxes in three years, man.
	Are you sure you want to say this live?
	I don't care.
	What are we going to do?
	I'll just run to Afghanistan.
	They're not going to deport me back.
	Anyway, I've seen this photo before.
	This is you getting arrested, I believe.
	Yeah man, this is me getting arrested.
	So this guy...
	This guy is photogenic as hell, isn't he?
	He's got a lovely smile, he's got great teeth too.
	We got arrested and they were just like, yeah let's take some photos dude, this is kind of fun.
	I was taking photos throughout.
	I'll tell you what happened in between, so obviously I got interrogated and questioned and they tried every angle in the book to see if I was a spy or not.
	I wasn't.
	So, you know, they were like, Mars, if you're a spy, you know, you can join us and we'll pay you.
	Just tell us your tricks and your training and you get to leave.
	I was like, no, Mars, we found information.
	We know you are a spy.
	Submit it.
	I said, I'm not, man.
	And in the end, they realized I wasn't.
	And I kept thinking, why do they think I'm a spy?
	And you know what happened then?
	My friend James, he got arrested with me and just doing normal routine interrogation to see why you're here.
	You know, he told them Mars might be a spy.
	Miles might be a spy.
	You have to work in intelligence.
	You require intelligence.
	I clearly lack that.
	I can't quite tell if you are a complete retard or a complete genius.
	There's a fine line between the two.
	It's like Forrest Gump was retarded, but he became rich, I guess.
	He bought Apple, apparently, according to the movie.
	Yeah, man.
	I don't know.
	Apples are really good to eat, but I just don't know about their business.
	That's literally Forrest Gump's line.
	Yeah, yeah.
	I'm kind of Forrest Gump laughing right now.
	Honestly, my friend did throw me underneath a bus.
	I don't know if he meant to do it or if he was just, you know, under stress.
	Panicked or something?
	Yeah, yeah, panicked.
	He does have anxiety, so it was great to bring him to Afghanistan.
	But he did screw me over and, yeah, you know, I'm just not happy about what James did, to be fair.
	So, if you know a James in Nottingham University who studies a PhD, you know, just give him a slap for me.
	Okay, I don't endorse violence.
	Yeah, no violence, just say, hey James, you naughty boy, do not get Miles arrested again.
	You got arrested by the Taliban, and you're completely okay with it.
	Yeah, I know, I know.
	Ten years, you know, his brakes might just not work anymore.
	So, uh, you know, watch out, James.
	I'm coming for you.
	No.
	Nah, he's chill.
	He's chill.
	He apologises.
	He apologises, man.
	Yeah.
	Just, uh, to the censor at YouTube, who's probably watching this, who's deciding whether or not to delete it, there is a lot of irony, Lane.
	Yeah, we're joking, man.
	100%, man.
	I'd even go to Afghanistan.
	They'd sword Birmingham.
	That's true, by the way.
	Do you remember when we first were going there, though?
	We did fly out, I think it was from Birmingham.
	Oh yeah, that was true.
	Do you remember?
	Wasn't it?
	I thought I was going to be interviewing you for maybe, you know... Was it Birmingham or Bristol?
	No, it was Birmingham.
	It was Birmingham, yes.
	And we went to the toilets.
	I remember, I still got the footage, where we're looking at the toilets and it's like, yeah, toilets slash voodoo.
	And I was like, what the hell is a voodoo?
	What was a voodoo?
	Apparently it's what you do, you clean yourself before you go and do Islamic prayer.
	Oh, okay.
	But we were looking around and everyone around us as well was also wearing Afghan clothes and I was like, I already feel like the weird one.
	Yeah, yeah, basically, yeah.
	So, I mean, there is massive change.
	Yeah, yeah.
	A whole other conversation, I suppose.
	You miss Afghanistan, don't you, a little bit?
	Yeah, I'll be honest, yeah.
	It is a lovely country, no joke.
	Actually, it's very beautiful and the food's really good, isn't it?
	And plus, everything's really cheap.
	But there's something...
	I don't... at risk of sounding like one of those hippies from the 60s who used to go to Afghanistan and be like, bro, that's so cool.
	There is something mystical about that place.
	Yeah.
	Even with all the...
	I don't know.
	Unfortunate aspects, someone might call it.
	You know, it's obviously not a perfect country.
	They're starting up again.
	But it has a lot of potential, man.
	And it's something mystical about a far off land that most of humanity hasn't ever seen or touched.
	And they've got these beautiful mountains tipped with snow and the rest is sand.
	And there's obviously beautiful sun gleaming on you, beautiful blue sky.
	You've got some lovely nature.
	Shit trainers.
	Yeah, honestly, these are drippy, man.
	This is going to be a new fashion trend.
	Honestly, sneakerheads are going to be buying these, 100%.
	Yeah, honestly, the Taliban Air Force Ones are going to sell out, no joke.
	And look what it says here, CP.
	So that's the name of a brand in Pakistan who produce these.
	So it's very unfortunately named.
	Oh no.
	First thing in the CP company, that is actually a luxury fashion brand.
	Oh no!
	You don't know about that?
	No, no I didn't, but it's just a very poorly named... never mind.
	Anyway, I suppose we should end this segment before we go even more off the rails.
	Yeah, obviously.
	But it's been good fun.
	I suppose should we end off with that last image there?
	Because I'm dying to see what you've got.
	Yeah man, so I got invited back to buy the Taliban.
	They said you'll have no problems.
	You get one of those honorary Mujahideen certificates saying you'll never be searched, never be questioned, you can't be arrested, you have access to all areas in the country.
	The Taliban have said, hey Miles, if you come back, make a video on Tora Bora, we'll give you a personalized tour.
	They're gonna give me office space for my business.
	Things are really moving up in the Miles Afghan relationship world.
	But I think that's how we go.
	See you for the next time.
	Ladies and gentlemen, the Foreign Secretary.
	Sincerely, if we needed an ambassador to the new Afghan government.
	I'll consider being the British ambassador to Afghanistan if the King asks nicely.
	So you're joking?
	Well, you're not joking, actually.
	I don't know, man.
	I met a guy once from the AFD, and he told us about when the Trump administration got in.
	They had to pick a new ambassador for Germany, and they just picked some guy who apparently was a local shitposter that Trump just liked.
	He was American, and then just liked Germany as well.
	So the AFD would just meet with him.
	He wouldn't hang out with the actual government.
	He wouldn't be bothered.
	He would just meet with the AFD because they're funny and just shitpost 24-7.
	You see, you're encouraging me.
	That's the worst thing you could do, man.
	It's the only thing most people would do.
	I don't want to go down the pipeline of just shitposting myself into government.
	You can do it, but officially as well.
	Okay, officially shitpost.
	Yeah.
	I can imagine having the official embassy account and I can just tweet random stuff to cause mass panic.
	Why not?
	Yeah, yeah.
	I will retweet that.
	Thank you, my friend.
	I'm just going to do the last one here, I suppose.
	Oh yeah, I forgot.
	Yeah, they read my book.
	Oh, your tan's coming on nicely.
	Yeah, lovely.
	That was me a few months in, by the way.
	This is the Taliban intelligence services reading your book.
	Yeah, so the commanders, the top commanders and the ministers of each government sector read my book.
	And they actually really liked it.
	And they said, Miles, when you make another book, use your laptop to write a book while you're here.
	please bring us a version in Pashto that we can read we'd really enjoy it like thank you for publishing like a decent book we found it was quite funny and I was like oh man this is the weirdest timeline isn't it but fair enough I'm just rolling with this like they liked it and um they saw the top top G signature from Andrew Tate on there they're like you know the Andrew Tate and I was like hell yeah man we're friends like look at me I got got him in my DMs and they were like wow invite invite Andrew Tate to Afghanistan I was like Inshallah, why not?
	They seem to actually like him.
	Yeah, they like him, man.
	He's a big Muslim, so why not, you know?
	But anyway, I suppose we'll end this off just so people can know if they want to see more.
	There's your YouTube channel, which you can go check out, at Lord Miles on YouTube.
	Yes, man.
	I went shooting the Taliban just beforehand.
	They love that video.
	Please follow me.
	Please search on YouTube right now.
	I really need the ad revenue.
	But not that one.
	That one got demonetized.
	I also think all my videos have been demonetized.
	I can't imagine why.
	But anyway, there's various here you can go check out.
	They're good fun.
	I actually really enjoyed them back in the day.
	Where is it?
	The one where you went over the EU border.
	Oh, yeah.
	Scroll up.
	Yeah, there's that one right there.
	That one?
	No, the one next to you.
	Yeah, I want to come with you on some of these.
	You can come, yeah.
	Look, quality.
	Just write up a will, just in case, and you'll be fine.
	I've got nothing anyway.
	Yeah.
	Well, I've got loads of trips planned in Afghanistan.
	You're welcome to come, man.
	Yeah, there's that.
	There's also Lord Miles YouTube.
	Sorry, Twitter account.
	Yeah, my Twitter's blown up at this point.
	There's lovely stuff.
	Go on there.
	I shitpost incredible amounts.
	Do they know you're Catholic?
	Yeah, they were chill there.
	They gave me my Bible on my laptop.
	They said, yeah, download the Bible PDF.
	We have no problems.
	You're a guest.
	We respect your religion as long as you're not Jewish.
	Apparently there was one Jew left in Afghanistan right up until like, I don't know, a couple of years ago.
	And he was like, eh, I'm done.
	Yeah, he was like, no chance of opening a bank here.
	Got sex.
	And then the last one he had to be on the Instagram link.
	Yeah, that's my very small Instagram.
	I've just started using it again after years of inactivity, so please go and follow guys.
	I really need it for my narcissistic delusions of grandeur of being an 1800s British explorer.
	So yeah, that's me smoking my first ever cigar with Tate.
	First time I ever smoked anything.
	That's when I found oil in Birmingham.
	It was really good.
	Anyway, it's good to have you back.
	I'm glad you're doing well.
	It's really good to be back, guys.
	I love your stuff.
	I actually watched some of your videos in Taliban prison, by the way, because you let me download some YouTube videos, so it was good.
	I wonder who those new subscribers were.
	Good man.
	Thank you guys, by the way.
	Brilliant.
	Fantastic.
	And bid.
	I need the money.
	Please.
	This is high quality stuff.
	100%.
	I suppose on that note, we'll move on.
	So true.
	Come back to actual politics, I suppose.
	Well, that was actual politics as well.
	It's just the wild, wild East.
	Oh, yeah.
	I love politics.
	I love Western politics.
	Oh, dear.
	Well, there's some good news, which is that someone in Parliament has finally said what everyone was kind of thinking, which is deport them now, unironically.
	So maybe you've come back at the good time to find out that British politics is not completely useless.
	I'm a good omen, you know.
	Yeah, I just missed my party.
	I mentioned to that guy, by the way, who said that, and just said, hey, maybe deport them, lol.
	And he was like, shit, that's a good idea, man.
	What, the MP?
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	So, for people who don't know what we're talking about, someone gave a speech in Parliament, and we'll get to the speech in a moment.
	I just really want to quick promote something, of course, this being Frank Licata's The Tragedy of Liberation book club we did.
	If for no other reason than just because I remembered that we picked some good backing music in the intro, which was good fun.
	Oh, is that not playing?
	I can't hear it.
	I love the music.
	I can hear it.
	I can hear it.
	You can hear it?
	Yeah, it's some, like, CCP or Chinese music or something.
	CCP?
	Yeah, glory to the CCP, by the way.
	Unplug the thing, dammit.
	It's, uh, good fun.
	Anyway.
	Hi folks, welcome to this book club of the lotus eaters, where Callum and I will be discussing- Quiet, Carl.
	Does it come on audiobook, too?
	Because I can't read and write.
	Yeah, there's also- I went to British public school.
	There's also audio for those who went to a British university.
	So anyway, this is it.
	So this lady basically, um, she's the MP for, I believe, Harley-Paul or whatever the era is.
	And a local man, from not England, decided to break into the country, was given a free hotel, and then went, man, my life is so bad, and decided to stab a pensioner to death.
	Many such stories.
	There are indeed many such stories.
	I mean, multiple, in fact.
	I've been in some shit hotels, but... Yeah, like the furthest I've gone is an in-caps review.
	Yeah, must be the travel lodge.
	To be fair, that really pissed me off, those places.
	But this has been going on for ages.
	These are just some other examples I thought up to the top of my head.
	He was done for murder in Serbia and then came here and murdered another guy.
	This one where a migrant's tragic story for the Guardian Rite and then it turns out he'd stabbed six people.
	Also 100.
	Yeah, but this lady has just had enough and it's glad, well I'm glad to see that she actually just went into Parliament and was like, I'm done, so let's play it.
	On Sunday, Terence Kearney, a 70-year-old Hartlepoolian, was murdered by an asylum seeker.
	The people are afraid and angry.
	Every week, my office is besieged by asylum seekers.
	My staff are intimidated by young men.
	The fact is, most of them are illegal migrants who should be expelled.
	My thoughts and sympathies are with Mr Carney's family and friends and all my constituents affected by this heinous crime.
	However, sympathy is not enough.
	They deserve action and I am demanding it.
	Will the Prime Minister take action?
	Will he make sure enforcement is delivered?
	Will he ensure that people who have no right to be here are expelled?
	Enough is enough.
	I want these people out of Hartlepool now.
	Mr Speaker, as my, as my honourable friend knows, I'm unable to comment on cases which are currently before the court, but can I join her in expressing my sympathies to families affected, and I would like to... Yeah, he then goes on to say, I'm totally deporting people, trust me.
	Yeah, totally.
	Irony on the what's happening in the bottom corner, it says, Slammagea.
	Trending in the UK, Slammagea.
	Big if true.
	And it's not the only clip that went viral, but it's finally good to see that a shift seems to have happened, which MPs now who have death on their doorstep are now able to do something instead of nothing when death happens on their doorstep.
	Yeah, you know, it shouldn't have been done like 20 years ago, but yeah.
	She did go on the Nigel Farage Show, and on here she just talks about how her staff are just getting harassed 24-7 by these people in the hotel, the Sea People.
	They turn up shouting at her parliamentary staff that they want visas.
	And of course, the parliamentary staff are like, We don't even work for the Home Office.
	Yeah, we don't deal with that, you know, it's not our department.
	And no matter how many times they tell them this, they keep coming round, so that's also personal harassment she has to deal with.
	And it's good to see the shift there, at least on immigration.
	People are starting to realise maybe the quality of the type of people who come to your country is important, and maybe illegal aliens who are coming from countries where there was a massive ISIS insurgency recently aren't the best neighbours.
	Mmm, yeah.
	France.
	Yes.
	Yeah, it's my favourite Muslim country, France.
	But it's a lesson that hasn't been learned by everyone and it's something I wanted to go through because I saw this interview recently and it's Jacob Rees-Mogg being interviewed and Jacob Rees-Mogg on most occasions as a perfectly polite person doesn't give insane answers.
	He's not the type of parliamentarian we're used to, just like actual moron type or just insane leftist.
	And so I was really disappointed to see his responses to some of this because the guy interviewing him is an absolute chad and he decided to just put the failures of the last 13 years on this topic at Jacob's feet and Jacob's answers are not very good.
	Yeah.
	And we're going to play the first clip which is just the intro to this interview.
	Just the setup alone is just funny.
	Hello and welcome to Offscript.
	My name is Stephen Edgington.
	13 years after the Conservatives entered government and since then illegal and legal migration has soared.
	Britain's institutions have been captured by left-wing zealots.
	The national debt has surpassed 100% of our GDP.
	The tax burden is the highest since the Second World War.
	And we are seemingly governed by a party indistinguishable from that of the left-wing opposition.
	To discuss his party's record in government, I'm joined by Sir Jacob Rees-Mogg, MP.
	Oh, nice to meet you too!
	Yeah, he's just like, ooh!
	Yeah, I mean, to be honest, that's just something I enjoyed, frankly, that part there, where he's just like, yes, for the last 13 years you've finally failed on everything you promised.
	How do you feel about that?
	And of course, Jacob being Jacob has to endorse everything they've done.
	But it moves on to the bigger question, which is, he asks him, has multiculturalism failed?
	And the answer to this from Jacob, I think, is just telling.
	Yeah, it failed 20 years ago, mate.
	Indeed.
	Has multiculturalism failed?
	The problem with that question is it's all in the definition of multiculturalism.
	What do you mean by it?
	Now, if you say, does the UK have a remarkably placid race relations system within our country, and that's multiculturalism, then it's conceivable.
	If, on the other hand, you want to say, have we got a system where all countries are equal and respected and that perhaps we've lost some of our own values, then you may say that it's failed.
	So it depends definitionally what you're meaning.
	And I think we should be very reassured by the good temper of British society, particularly when you compare it to the United States.
	I suppose when one looks to other examples of nations which are less multicultural and more homogenous, like Poland and Japan, they don't experience similar issues that we've had in Britain.
	So when one could look to recent riots around the Palestine protests in London, after the single worst killing of Jews in a day since the Holocaust, you saw these terrible experiences on the streets of London.
	We've seen the horrible scandal of the grooming gangs across much of England.
	We've seen several terrorist attacks over the last years.
	There have been inter-ethnic conflicts in places like Leicester.
	And there are many divisions and tensions inside British society.
	So I suppose, you can compare us to the United States and say that we're a success, but when one compares us to, let's say, those other nations I mentioned, perhaps it's been a failure.
	Or you compare us to France and we've been an enormous success.
	It's not an answer.
	And they're like, it's like, oh, well, you know, OK, yeah, we're crap, but they're crapper.
	Yeah.
	But why are we settling for crap?
	I like crapping on France, but, you know, this is just not the time at this point.
	It's like France is so bad.
	I went to France and I went close.
	Yeah.
	It's like, OK, but a little bit better, man.
	It's like, wow, if you get a bunch of people of differing ideologies together and stick them in a place with no jobs and stuff.
	Wow.
	With this conflict, who would have seen this?
	You know, it's like, I don't understand.
	They're really retarded.
	The actual people who promote multiculturalism as an idea are just like, you aren't thinking.
	Yeah, you've got no common sense.
	Everyone's got to hold hands and sing rainbows.
	Everyone's got to be best friends.
	Hell no.
	Care for Calais.
	Yeah, man.
	I love how methodically he just lays out, well obviously this place is worse because of all these problems we didn't used to have that we've imported.
	And also, I can prove that because here's some countries that don't have that problem because they didn't import it.
	Well, at least we're not France.
	Have you seen how the British Empire is blamed for splitting up ethnic groups by creating and drawing lines in countries, you know, when we left everything?
	And it turns out if you put a bunch of ethnic groups together that, you know, aren't the same, they segregate and cause conflicts, but apparently it's normal to do in the West.
	Complete cognitive dissonance.
	Exactly.
	On foreign policy it's bad, but domestically for us that's a good thing.
	Yeah, when I go to America, it's just nice to not want, you know, expect to be stabbed.
	Instead, you just get shot by a school shooter or something.
	Yeah, that's an American tradition.
	Why are you in an American school?
	I love you secret families at best!
	Anyway but moving on because there's some other questions in here I mean the whole interview is just kind of fascinating but Jacob's complete failure to get these points correct in my view I think is just so telling and if he looks himself I think he'll also agree because the next one is comical and it's him saying that you literally can't figure out whether or not immigrations increase the crime rate
	If every crime committed by somebody who is either an immigrant or the descendant of an immigrant is a failure of multiculturalism, then all societies at all times fail because a percentage of any group will be criminals.
	Dare I say there are even some criminals in Somerset which will shock anybody watching this.
	But in all societies there are criminals, there are bad actors.
	Would crime be lower or higher without mass immigration is an interesting question but one to which I don't think there is an answer.
	I can give him the answer.
	Sounds like a posh Owen Jones.
	Yeah.
	He's such a politician.
	It's just so weird.
	What a wanker.
	Yeah.
	It's so weird for him especially to say that because like you're the government.
	Here's some government statistics.
	Maybe we could prove it that way.
	Oh yeah it's like Now I wonder which group commits the most crime.
	I can't quote the statistics here.
	Oh, we'll just quote the British government instead.
	Oh yeah.
	Which they keep statistics on the prison population.
	And for some reason, there's a massive over-representation of some groups and under-representation of others.
	So the increase in the Hindu population of the UK, for example, has led to a decrease in crime.
	Because they just don't commit crime at the same level.
	They don't make up the prison population.
	You can see there, for example, I think the Hindu population of the UK is somewhere around a few percentage points.
	Yeah, they're really chill.
	Yeah, they make up 0% of the prison population, statistically.
	They're rounded to zero.
	Well, they're really good at not getting caught.
	Yeah, when I went to Leicester with Rebel after all the riots there, the Hindus, they were even uncomfortable just speaking privately to us about what's going on.
	That's how soft they were.
	They didn't want to talk to us.
	It's like, you know, none of them round, just the cameras away.
	They're like, oh, yeah, but we can't talk to them.
	Yeah, all the other groups just chimping out, honestly.
	Well, then there are other groups where you can just look at the percentage points.
	So, I mean, like the Muslim population of the UK, massively over-represented, and then you can look at racial groups.
	Sadly, they don't keep ethnic data, so it would be clearer for us to look at.
	Oh, trust me, I can give you the answer.
	But it's just comical.
	He sits there and he's like, ah, there's no way to find out.
	It's just something that particularly annoyed me about that one.
	Yeah.
	If we go back to the video, I'll just end the last one here, which is him saying the mass ethnic change of the UK is something that is not a thing to worry about, in fact.
	I wonder if you worry about it.
	I'm with ease then.
	Finally, I can leave it at that.
	This is what's so weird, because it's like, Jacob, you're an educated person and usually you're not foolish.
	I don't know why you would say these things.
	If he says something he probably gets fired or... Well yeah because he works for the Conservative wing of the WEF.
	You might assume so but I sincerely believe this is his sincere held opinion because it's a safe space where he could have said anything and he doesn't.
	You guys can make up your own mind.
	Increasingly British cities according to the census data are increasingly non-white, non-white British.
	We've seen a trend over the last few decades, particularly since the 1990s.
	Do you see this as a concern?
	Is our demographic change going too far, too quickly?
	Oh, I'm not concerned about it at all.
	I'm not concerned about the racial makeup of the country.
	I am concerned about the borders issue and the number of people coming in.
	We cannot cope with 606,000 people coming in every year.
	That's too many.
	It's more than we have houses for.
	It's more than we have infrastructure for.
	But the social makeup of the country is not a concern of mine, as long as people are here as British citizens and willing to obey the law.
	Nothing to worry about.
	It pisses me off when they say, and apologies for the language, when they're like, you know, we need to stop it.
	Yeah, well, do it.
	Actually go and do it.
	And then, oh, it breaks international law.
	What do you mean breaks international law?
	What are they going to do?
	Right, UK, you'll go to jail for 10 years.
	What are they going to do?
	But you're in country jail.
	You give me an M16 and a little dinghy, I will protect the whole of England's waters, trust me.
	Yeah, we have a Navy.
	I will do a very effective job.
	Why don't the Navy do the Navy's job and protect our waters?
	You remember the Afghan guards we had in Daria?
	Oh yes, yes.
	I remember speaking to some of them, and they were just utterly dumbfounded when they found out what's happening with our channel situation.
	And I was like, yeah, what would you do?
	And they were like, well, you know what I'd do?
	And I was like, okay, maybe we should put you in border control, and you can deal with the whole other conversation.
	But to end it off real quick, because we're running out of time.
	Yeah, it'll have no impact, I'm sure.
	Well, here's the census data, where you can find places in London, for example, that have 0.0% of the white, English, Welsh, Scottish... Tower Hamlets.
	Or British.
	It's not to Amherst, actually.
	This is Brent over here.
	These are two neighborhoods that have zero, and then the surrounding neighborhoods, you know, it's much higher.
	I need to do my duty and move into this area.
	But the point being, it's like, yeah, it'll have no impact.
	Well, you know, people who live here may have noticed an impact.
	I mean, I went and met them.
	They've definitely noticed it.
	But Jacob, though, and this is the problem I find with such people who think like that, or at least profess to think like that.
	Where does he live?
	Well, thanks to the ONS census data being available, Well, you can just look it up.
	So they're very rich and white, I imagine.
	95.9% white, English, Scottish, Welsh, Northern Irish and British.
	And this isn't actually a thing about race.
	Yeah, this isn't a thing about race either.
	It's about ethnic groups, because it doesn't matter if he's German, he's not English.
	And we can see this when I went even closer.
	I managed to find where Jacob lives and got his constituency for his home and the village he lives in.
	And yeah, that's what it looks like.
	0.0% literally anyone except white English, British.
	0.4% Irish and 1.1% white other.
	And no gypsies.
	Zero.
	It statistically came to three Europeans and one Irishman.
	Maybe one Afghan soon.
	Bring your boys.
	But I just love the idea that he's sitting there being like, I have no idea why people are moaning about demographic change in the country.
	It's like, because demographic change for him has been three Europeans and Irishmen.
	Yeah, he sits in a little gated community as the world is burning around him.
	He's just sipping his tea in this little tropical garden away from the world.
	A great two listed mansion, in fact.
	Oh, yeah, yeah.
	Really?
	Yeah, sincerely.
	Oh, wow.
	I wonder where he gets all the money from.
	Obviously, nothing but Afghan gold.
	Yeah, Afghan gold buys Afghan trainers and stuff.
	Big business, by the way.
	He's on the grind, so it'll come out one day.
	It's just something I want to talk about.
	There has been a shift in British politics, and you saw the speech in Parliament, which is good news, which is that, yeah, illegal aliens should be deported because, well, they're illegal.
	It should have been done 20 years ago, you shouldn't have let them in in the first place.
	If I was PM, I would physically go there and rile them up.
	You know, I would get like a lasso.
	Personally working with the police.
	Yeah, no, I would get a lasso and just, you know, pull them here and just shove them in.
	I would drive them to France and be like, you're free, you're free, go on.
	You're in your homeland.
	I would actually take them all back to France.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	Because, you know, they get rid of their documentation and then they go, oh, I'm a refugee.
	And because they've got no documentation and under the 1951 Asylum Convention, we have to prove otherwise.
	All right.
	The only information we have to go on is you've come from France.
	Therefore, bon voyage, you're going back to France.
	Oh, yeah.
	And make the French actually secure their southern border.
	The issue is, they keep trying.
	They will keep trying, they'll keep coming across the border and of course, obviously if we improve border security, some will still slip through.
	So I honestly think there should be some sort of punishment in place.
	I don't know, send them to Haiti or something.
	I don't see why not.
	Honestly, I think, honestly, you have a whole thing where we deported them back to Africa at one point.
	Some refugees.
	What, to Rwanda?
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	And they were really pissed off about that.
	And you think if you really are a refugee, you should be happy if you go anywhere that has any prosperity.
	You know, it's like they just want to come to England just because they think it's an easy life where you claim benefit to get more money.
	Well, you can if the government allows you to.
	Oh, yeah.
	Think how good it would be if you're at Calais and you've got loads of empty trucks and you're like, Do you want to come to England?
	You shut it, and you drive south, and you open up and go, yeah, you're free!
	15 day drive to...
	Yeah, 15 day drive to England.
	Oh no, I thought you meant to, like, the Congo or something.
	Yeah, just imagine they'll be so demoralised they won't want to try again.
	Yeah, well, maybe that's a solution, but until then, I mean, chat's saying they've got your Wonder Woman outfit for your plan, which... Wonder Woman outfit for your lasso.
	Yeah, obviously, yeah, I would even wear the uniform, you know, I'm a good figure, you know.
	Lovely.
	Oh, I don't have the hair for Herbert, you know, I can wear a wig.
	But I just wanted to mention, like, there has been a shift in British politics, which is interesting, but not only that, I want to remind people, you can use this ONS tool to actually find out what your politicians live like, because you can find the data and then you can be like, oh, that's why they have no idea what demographic change does to a neighbourhood, because Jacob Rees-Mogg over there is like, I don't care where they come from, I don't care if they're European or Irish, anything really, it's all fine to me.
	Okay, okay, mate.
	The question is, is it too late?
	Oh yes.
	Because that's what I worry about.
	Is it so over?
	Yeah, or will we say we're so back?
	At one point, I don't know.
	Well, one day.
	But until then, I suppose we have to... I don't know where you're going with that problem.
	Yeah, I want to talk about actually a bit, I don't know how this works, but... Never mind.
	I'll just hold on to it like a house.
	I've kind of moved away from mainstream politics, current affairs.
	I don't actually think voting matters anymore.
	Yeah, democracy.
	It's cringe.
	It doesn't matter who you vote for, the WEF always wins.
	The way I see it is that there are three main monopolies that run the world.
	Big Pharma, the industrial military complex.
	Tadpan Goldmines.
	Make it four.
	Tell them, Goldmines.
	And big food.
	Now, two of those.
	Sorry, what?
	Big food.
	It's like Big Pharma.
	I've never thought about this.
	Actually, it's a good point.
	I kind of get it.
	So, we are fed so much crap.
	Oh, I thought you meant like, you know, food is a scam, they feed you just to make you hungry again.
	Well, yeah, part of it, yeah.
	Look at things like MSG, monosodium glutamate.
	MSG is literally, it's an addictive ingredient that they put into things like Doritos, high in that, to make you crave these things more.
	Now, you look at people in the West these days, men are becoming weak, we are becoming fat, we're becoming lazy, we are becoming dumbed down through things like our food, our water.
	And you look into things like, you know, like today, big food makes people sick, big pharma sells the cure.
	Big pharma makes people insane, insane people want to go to war.
	War breaks people and they're pumped for what big pharma gives them and big pharma even now has a weight loss jab.
	So, you know, these things all work together and the cycle goes on.
	This is how they control the world.
	You take, you know, Bill de Blasio, for example, is one I'll never forget.
	They were saying, you know, at the start of COVID, one of the biggest threats is, you know, being obese.
	If you catch COVID and you're obese, you're one of the biggest threats to die.
	Yeah.
	So then they're saying, get your vaccine and we'll give you a free burger and fries.
	Here's Bill de Blasio.
	Thank you so much, Randy.
	Thank you to the whole Shake Shack team.
	This is really going to help us out.
	And did you say Free fries when you get vaccinated?
	I got vaccinated.
	You're saying I can get this?
	Free fries?
	Wait a minute.
	But there's also a burger element to this?
	Is he trying to prove that the food's not poisonous?
	Is this an American government offence?
	This was the mayor of New York, Bill de Blasio, and this was one of their... I want you to look at this and think about... So you could take a form into a shape jam.
	Some people love hamburgers, some don't.
	I've been jammed, and they give you... If this is appealing to you, just think of this when you think of vaccination.
	Wait, is he, um, is he Christian, or is he, uh, no, because I know he's Satanist, I think.
	I'm getting a very good feeling.
	I think he's Jewish.
	About vaccination rate this moment.
	But anyway, so I think, you know, my opinion is that big food is actually the biggest threat we have.
	But it's also the one that we can combat the most.
	We can actually control a lot more of what goes into our bodies.
	Big pharma, it's so complex and, well, big.
	We should probably pause this.
	It's actually hard to, it's harder to combat.
	Yeah, you can say, I'm not having these jabs and all that, but they get these things into our systems anyway.
	Somehow, yeah.
	the industrial military complex or you can say you don't support war at all doesn't matter they're going to go and bomb places and fund both sides and keep the war going but big food is something we can actually do more so we've heard things like well another point there is one of the bigger problems when it comes to the food crisis is obesity is now costing our taxpayer 27 billion pounds a year 10
	£10 billion more than smoking.
	I'm not saying smoking's good, but it seems it's petting some of the... It does increase testosterone, doesn't it?
	Well, you're about to endorse free cigarettes.
	I saw that 4chan green text saying some guy took up smoking so he'd get bigger gains but he'd been complained about his cardio suffering and everyone was just calling him retarded.
	I mean, yeah, kind of deserved.
	There's a great episode on Toast of London where he's doing an advert for, I think it's red carpet cigarettes.
	They taste really, really, really good.
	Seriously, that's according to the Daily Mail that it's costing £27 billion.
	But you mentioned testosterone then.
	There are things in our food that are reducing testosterone and making us weaker.
	But also you hear about all these fads, so you hear about things like the low fat fad.
	That was a con by the American Sugar Association in 1967 where they got Harvard scientists to publish a document in the New England Medical Journal to say that fat makes people fat.
	You take away fat from food, it tastes awful.
	They add sugar to it, they become rich like Miles and his trainers overnight.
	But fat is actually a really important thing in our diet.
	So saturated fats, there are lots of vitamins that are fat-soluble vitamins, which we can get from animal fats.
	You're looking at me very confused.
	I'm so behind on, like, any food knowledge.
	Basically, just eat a ton of protein and lift constantly.
	And this is actually why I've moved away from a lot of the, um... Don't do that.
	...a lot of the political stuff, because this political stuff, yeah, it's good to inform people and say who's trying to kill us today, but one of the things we actually don't look into and the thing that we need every day... And we have the most control over.
	...is our food.
	Aren't we?
	And you look at things like diet foods.
	Diet and diet drinks, they're some of the worst, because it kind of goes back into the whole low fat, low fat, low fat.
	Things like sweeteners are one of the most neurological disorder causing things in the world.
	So aspartame was found when they got rid of saccharin.
	It was actually found accidentally.
	They didn't get rid of saccharin, but it was...
	What's saccharin, sorry?
	So saccharin was a sweetener.
	Okay, because I'm a proper Luddite when it comes to this stuff.
	So saccharin was a sweetener that was found to be very carcinogenic, and they accidentally stumbled across aspartame, which is even more sweet, but is also carcinogenic, but is also highly linked to neurological disorders.
	Which is what is found, if you look on the back of any diet drink... That's found in American Coke isn't it?
	It's in all these things where they need sweeteners, it's usually aspartame.
	You must have a lot because you're really sweet, man.
	That's a lot of people these days.
	And you see stuff with the NHS.
	They will tell us to stay away from sugary drinks and maybe go into diet drinks because it's better for you.
	Maybe water, maybe coffee and tea.
	Nothing else, man.
	But one of the biggest ones I've discovered recently is the Super Greens Con.
	We do tell.
	So many people think things like spinach and kale are super greens, and we're told, oh, you have your super green smoothie.
	In this video I did recently on my Rumble, it's about, um, it's 50 minutes long, I won't play it.
	You can watch it in the background.
	So these super greens have things called anti-nutrients.
	There's like four sets of anti-nutrients.
	Lectins, but not all, there's thousands of lectins.
	Some lectins are bad when they're combined with sugars.
	Gluten, again, no, no human can process gluten, but gluten has these things that have, uh, what you call it, opioid effects.
	So glutamorphine.
	So, you know, when we have these like nice breads and cakes, we think, Oh, do you know what?
	I could murder another cake.
	Actually what we think it's the cake because it tastes really good.
	Well, the sugar is also, sugar's apparently more addictive than heroin anyway, but it's these things called glutamorphins.
	Which are, you know, the opioid causing thing in the gluten that we then crave.
	What's this got to do with spinach and kale?
	So these are the anti-nutrients.
	So now, the other ones are phytic and oxalic acid.
	Phytic, P-H-Y-T-I-C.
	Oxalic, O-X-A-L-I-C.
	Now these things are found in these things like spinach, kale, in high amounts.
	Now humans, we create a really small amount of this enzyme called phytase, so we actually can't process these things.
	If we want to get, you can either cook it in a certain way, things like if you put calcium carbonate in your spinach when you're cooking it, The calcium carbonate extracts the oxalic acid and it can be left with the good nutrients that we can get.
	But if we want to get the nutrients from these foods, we want to get through the animals that can eat them.
	So basically, good protein is the way.
	A lot of plant-based proteins are a con.
	And phytic acid is one of these things that literally sucks minerals out of the human body.
	Which is then linked to things like, you know, we store our minerals in our bones.
	Yeah.
	So strong bones are mineral dense.
	Things like phytic acid can draw it out of our bones.
	And literally make us weak.
	So that's why vegans are so brittle, they're always just so malnourished.
	Literally just everything's leaving them.
	They're over eating this, you know, plant burger nonsense.
	Yes.
	And things are actually a lot of plant proteins, again, are also full of these I have no idea about this.
	But these are things that we can actually control in our lives.
	If you look at the plant protein stuff for a burger, it's got like 500 ingredients.
	Beef burgers have beef in it, maybe a little bit of salt.
	You know, it's simple.
	God gave us beef, we eat beef.
	The problem we have though with things like beef these days is that, so a lot of people, and I experience it myself, is that the whole like, if you want to lose weight, it's calories in versus calories out.
	That's not necessarily the case because you see You know, America's terrible for it.
	You see with their cattle, they will pump them full of hormones where they put on weight, but having to eat less.
	So when we then eat those animals, we actually get those hormones in us.
	Not as bad, but when we're often eating them, it builds up in our bodies.
	So you want to look into things like Monsanto.
	Monsanto are like the Pfizer of food.
	I've heard them.
	Yeah, we did for Banana Republic stuff, you know, they get sued time and time again.
	But to them, it's a cost of business.
	But not enough people, and this is one of the things that I've kind of moved towards with my journalism, is the food and health side of things.
	A lot of people, you know, when they get sick, they think they need medication.
	But picture it this way.
	The human body, no human is born deficient in medication.
	But we are nearly all, with modern diets, malnourished.
	Constantly sick.
	And malnourishment causes illness.
	Because when you're not getting these things, You know, things start to break down and you get ill.
	Well, a lot of things we eat are actually highly inflammatory.
	Things like seed oils, rapeseed oil, also known as canola oil.
	It's one of the worst ones.
	It rapes you from the inside out, basically.
	That's a good way of putting it.
	It's true, though.
	I'm red-pilled on this.
	Next time you go to the shops, you want to look, just look at some of the ingredients.
	Someone else put in another good way.
	They said, if it's got five or more ingredients, you don't want to eat it.
	But if you can't even say the ingredient, You don't want to eat it.
	So, yeah, this is the sort of stuff I've been looking into now.
	I mean, this is all good advice.
	I'm literally just quiet because I'm so stupid when it comes to food.
	Oh, I'm a toddler.
	Like, I try and do literally, like, more simple advice.
	Like, he was saying, like, he's stealing his protein.
	Just natural protein, grass-fed as much as you can.
	Eggs are really good, right?
	I mean, you're huge, mate, so you're doing pretty well with yourself.
	Thank you very much.
	You're right, though, which is, if you actually want to take direct action on something, the stuff that you're consuming every day is the best way to do it, because you have, well, all the power in that instance.
	Have you seen that testosterone has pretty much halved since the 1970s?
	So they started taking blood samples and each year 1% testosterone gets lowered by 1%.
	So I think the average... And sperm counts.
	Oh yeah, exactly.
	Our food is destroying our sperm count.
	So in Afghanistan, they're still high T. To be fair, yeah, some of them are, I imagine.
	Proceed, natural food and stuff.
	But then again, there's a lot of pollution, so I'm not too sure.
	Yeah, but it's chill like that.
	But humans used to have 1,000 to 1,200 nanograms per deciliter of testosterone in their body, and nowadays the average male around our age is around, what, 500 now?
	It's more than half.
	So people that go on steroids, I've seen some people go on cycles.
	I used to go to Loughborough University, it's like the best sports uni, so everyone's on steroids there.
	And their numbers would shoot up to 1,200 nanograms per deciliter of their testosterone, but that's a normal range, technically.
	Obviously, they don't have side effects, but they were huge at that point.
	That's what humans used to always have potential for.
	But nowadays, some people are just really soy, you know, really...
	So the soy thing's actually...
	Yeah, it's real.
	Yes, soy is actually full of phytic acid.
	Did you see the BuzzFeed study?
	They got a bunch of- Oh god, yeah.
	From ages ago, yeah.
	If you guys don't know, ladies and gentlemen, they got a bunch of BuzzFeed staff that were really, like, twinkie, you know what I mean?
	It's like really skinny, white dudes, no tan, you know, effeminate- Soy boys!
	Yeah, soy boys!
	And they did a test and they figured out you literally have less testosterone than an 85-year-old woman.
	And it actually does affect your politics, too.
	The more testosterone you have, the more likely you are to be right-wing.
	So the idea of a right-wing Chad kind of huge bodybuilder type is very, very common.
	So to fix society, we need to stop putting testosterone in the water?
	Honestly, yeah, because... And not fluoride.
	Yeah, well, which they recently did in... I think I've got a link for it, actually.
	I don't have fluoride toothpaste.
	Yes, I don't do that either.
	Is fluoride bad for you?
	I don't even brush my teeth, I'm British.
	Well, so fluoride can be found, it can be naturally occurring, and so when it was first discovered, so fluoride was discovered, it was just, there was a place in America where like, it was just found naturally in the soil, and these people had good teeth.
	So, but there's a difference between organic fluoride and the fluoride which is often put into the water, which is a by-product from the aluminium industry.
	So, if you just dumped it anywhere, it would be illegal.
	But there is a legal loophole which says if it's filtered through humans...
	That's fine.
	That's why they sell it to these water companies.
	But also, fluoride is highly linked to neurological disorders and literally dumbs people down.
	I feel that.
	And it's found to, especially with child brain development, it's found to affect that.
	There is a bit in here where it talks a little bit about some of the issues.
	But it very, it really does.
	I think it's a bit over that last paragraph, up a little bit more.
	I thought it was a standard study.
	Water fluoridation.
	Yeah, so there's some... Wait, there you go.
	So this is like, you know, the government kind of double-speak sort of thing.
	There are some weaker studies which claim an association with hip fracture down syndrome, kidney stones.
	Kidney stones is actually from oxalic acid.
	Bladder cancer or cancer of the bone.
	Can't say that word.
	However, there is conflicting evidence to support these claims and prevailing public health opinion is now that there is no significant association between water fluoridation and these conditions.
	Now this is Chris Whitty who kind of basically signed off on all this and we know how... I was about to say you just got owned but then you told me it's Chris Whitty and I don't trust any of it.
	That's the thing.
	It's one of these things why I don't really trust governments and a lot of things because, you know, they'll kind of say, oh, yeah, well, there's this little thing that says maybe it is bad, but that's only a small thing.
	Look at the big positives.
	Whereas actually, it is well, through research, it is well known that fluoridation actually causes a lot of problems, even linked with cancer.
	Everything is these days.
	Yeah.
	It does lower your IQ by 3 points.
	I think that was a standard study or something.
	It does massively lower your... Yes.
	Trust me, I need every point I can get, man.
	Fluoride is a tool being... I believe fluoride is a tool being used to dumb down the general public.
	And when we are dumbed down, we are controlled.
	Or we don't need help doing maths with the people we're importing.
	With their high testosterone.
	Yeah, man.
	Alright, well... Yeah, yeah.
	Do you know about the, um... Sorry, we're done.
	I was going to move to the video comments, but I thought you were finished.
	Sorry.
	No, no.
	It's good to carry on, mate.
	I can skip to a post about this for hours.
	We will talk after this, mate.
	Yes.
	We'll talk about the, uh, what's called, uh, the pill that women take that goes into these.
	Oh, yes.
	Nice tackle.
	I've heard about that, though.
	I've got two minutes left.
	I've got it.
	I've got it started.
	I'm very sorry, guys.
	Well, we'll do it after because we're over time.
	Two seconds.
	It is terrible.
	Yeah, right, so the pill, no.
	Didn't you know the pill changes a woman's sense of smell?
	Oh yeah, so they don't feel attracted to men, yeah.
	You don't realise, like, you don't go, yeah, you smell hot.
	Well, someone would actually do that.
	But like, but the pheromones.
	Joe Biden, mate.
	Yeah.
	But the pheromones and all, you know, that is what kind of we are attracted to.
	Now a lot of women, when they're on the pill, it changes their sense of smell and what they're attracted to.
	You should go for more effeminate men?
	Yes, and then if and when they come off it, they realize, oh my god, I'm with the wrong partner.
	That's just one of the side effects.
	Again, sucks minerals from the bones and makes women sick.
	It is literally an attack on women.
	Yeah, and that pill contains estrogen, it goes into the water supply too, so it makes, literally, it's making... Often found in drinking water.
	Yeah, it's making, it's literally making what's called... Men effeminate.
	Yeah, yeah, makes... Birth control has often been found in our drinking water, which is why I distill my water.
	Well, I suppose with that we'll move to the video comments then.
	Oh, wait a minute.
	It's terrifying.
	I mostly agree that we want nothing to do with the conflict in the Middle East, but I think we're all looking forward to the conflict between our man in the US and the Japanese.
	We mostly agree that we want nothing to do with the conflict in the Middle East, but I think we're all looking forward to the conflict between our man in the US and the Japanese.
	There's an old film called Robojocks, where two nations settle their differences with giant mechs.
	I think that's Scottish.
	VERSUS!
	FIGHT!
	When's it gonna happen?
	It's gonna be in Israel-Palestine next week.
	Yeah, I thought Robojocks was just two Scottish robots.
	Well, it might be sponsored by McDonald's is the point, because I don't know if you saw, but McDonald's, different regional McDonald's are picking sides in the Israel-Palestine conflict.
	We're fighting each other.
	Yeah, sincerely.
	So, McDonald's Israel donated a bunch of free food and gave employee discounts to all of the IDF's security forces.
	Nick, can I have a large McMossad burger, please?
	No, it's more like, oh, don't worry, I'm Mossad, I get the employee discount.
	We can make you disappear.
	But again, that sort of food is dumbing these people down.
	But that happened, and then a bunch of the Arab nations are now donating, I think it's now up to $3.6 million to all of the McDonald's Oman, McDonald's Pakistan, McDonald's Kuwait and whatnot.
	So it's just like, okay, alright, great.
	But we have the worst timeline, man, this is really retarded.
	But then McDonald's Japan is in the corner, just being like, what if we were just supporting families?
	Oh yeah, yeah.
	We'll move to the next video, come on.
	I'm in Nevada, just outside Las Vegas.
	And I'm gonna get to do some shooting again.
	Who's this guy?
	Uh, cscooper.com.us.
	He's good.
	There you are, now you're looking tactical.
	Oh, he's shooting in Afghanistan.
	I think he hit it at least four or five times.
	I'd love it if he had the right guns.
	Oh, man.
	Oh, well.
	Well, in Northern Ireland, you might do.
	I guess I can shoot.
	That's why I like America, man.
	I just want to own guns.
	I just think they're cool, you know?
	They are indeed.
	They click and it's nice to hold them.
	Lovely.
	Alright, well I suppose we'll go to the written comments.
	Any man who's scared of a gun is just a coward.
	I think he should just reconsider his life, to be fair.
	Or doesn't have a gun.
	To be fair, yeah.
	I'd be scared of a gun if I had one.
	I'm really weaponising to Afghanistan, I will have a gun.
	It'll be chill.
	UK government, what are you going to do about it, huh?
	Deport me?
	Thank you, thank you.
	You are one of the few people who actually believed I was alive.
	I appreciate your kind words.
	Next time, everyone will believe you.
	lord marsegment reese sims says i've had uh so much fun dishing out i told you so as to those who said miles was dead thank you thank you you are one of the few people who actually believed i was live i appreciate your kind words next time everyone will believe you he says next kidnapping he says how are you coping with the rise of inflation and catching up with the idiotic stuff the west has been up to uh And also, are you planning a trip to Gaza anytime soon?
	Oh, do you mean like inflation porn or like economic inflation?
	Economic inflation.
	I've seen the other stuff, that's pretty bad.
	We're old.
	Inflation.
	Don't Google Sonic Inflation.
	Don't Google Sonic Inflation.
	It's... Nevermind.
	I spent too much time on iPhone, man.
	But anyway, yeah, so I got home and I was like, you know, I'm gonna buy myself a snack and I go to, I go to McDonald's.
	So I'd say, I want some chicken nuggets, you know, it's been eight months in, in Taliban custody.
	I wanted a 20 piece and it was like £10 or something.
	I thought screw this, you know, all my money, my pocket's just gone pretty much.
	God, I...
	I've got some friends too that are pretty proud because they got a 4% raise this year.
	I'm like, isn't inflation like 8%?
	You're losing money, you retard.
	You know what I mean?
	I hate inflation, this country's going to crap if we don't deport all people illegally.
	I don't know, I might move to America, I might move to Italy, I might move to Afghanistan, Vietnam, some other country.
	Yeah, I'm looking at the same thing.
	Sincerely.
	Yeah, I know you said you might move to Russia, man.
	Well, that's the thing.
	I mean, one of the great things about traveling I've had is when you go somewhere and you realize you could just move there and become a king for the rest of your life.
	Oh, yes.
	And everyone has that like once or twice but never does it.
	I'm like, why not?
	Yeah, it's like I heard.
	I've got a friend in Vietnam.
	He bought 2.5 acres of land.
	Well, you can actually do buy land if you do it through your wife or something.
	There's a way around it.
	He bought 2.5 acres of land and built a three-bedroomed house to his perfect specification, has gigabit internet to over $10 a month, and that house and land cost less than $30,000.
	And he's in the countryside here, it's a very nice lush place.
	A mountain sloping on either side, there's a nice little cafe next to his place.
	He's thinking about buying a swimming pool and installing it for $3,000.
	Yeah, or you could live here for the next 25 years paying off a mortgage for a piece of crap.
	You know, crappy town.
	You can't get a new boiler for $3,000.
	Yeah, I mean, honestly, just the serious brain drain we are probably already experiencing and going to continue to experience.
	Oh, trust me, I'm not going to lose anything for the UK if I leave.
	I think the IQ might go up a little bit.
	Yeah, no, but everyone else also.
	It's so true, man.
	So Lord Kevcroft says, can't watch live today, chaps, due to work, but I'd like to say it's great to see Lord Myles back and alive.
	It's good to be back, thank you.
	And I look forward to watching his Lads Hour later this evening.
	There's really bad taste in people, I guess, if he's looking forward to it.
	Yeah, well, you know, it's a subscriber of us.
	It's a joke, Carl, don't fire me.
	Paramount Warhawk says, Lord Miles, you have survived many dangerous places and gone on many adventures, but right now I challenge you to the ultimate adventure.
	You must go to the frigid coast of Dogfish Bay in Alaska, capture Bigfoot, and present him in a cage to His Majesty the King.
	Your reward for this task will be the eternal fame and a free toast oven.
	What's that place called again?
	Uh, so Dogfish Bay.
	Dogfish Bay.
	I'm gonna, I'm gonna write that down.
	I do have a portfolio of future trips, and I've got a few lined up.
	Dogfish Bay sounds like a good one.
	I don't know about Dogfish Bay, but there's some... I might just kidnap, like, a man who's had too much fluoride, you know what I mean?
	And just, like, yeah, just do, like, loads of hair transplants, so he's, like, really hairy and just, like... Yeah, Cole's like, oh, it's so real.
	Yeah, cut out his tongue and just say, like, oh, yeah, he's Bigfoot, man.
	Oh, crap.
	But there is a fishing cannery in Alaska.
	I can't remember the exact location, but it's a proper commercial operation, canning the fish and then selling it off.
	Everyone had good jobs, the pay was more than average for the time period, and it was 19-something, like 1916.
	They declared that they'd seen Bigfoot, and all of the staff refused to work there, and the fishing cannery went bust because none of the staff and no one would sign on to work at the cannery, even though they were paying above average rates.
	It's Bigfoot.
	I mean, it's literally just a big animal.
	Just shoot him if he gets too close.
	You know what I mean?
	Yeah, that's what I thought, but... Yeah.
	J-H-H... J-J-H-W says Birmingham is bankrupt, so Afghanistan is actually richer than Birmingham.
	Yeah, that happens.
	Honestly, it's true.
	Wait, Birmingham went bankrupt?
	Yeah, the city council... I think they spent a billion pounds... On what?!
	No, that's not true!
	We're yet to find out.
	What did we do, man?
	I don't remember, obviously.
	We just don't know?
	Oh no, now I remember.
	They got sued because some women didn't get the same bonuses because they were teaching assistants and the bin men got bonuses because no one wants to be a bin man, right?
	So the women sued for gender discrimination?
	And the Birmingham City Council lost.
	They had to pay out £754 million to the women.
	Stupid.
	Honestly, if that's gender discrimination, then I'm sexist.
	Like, screw it, at the end of the day.
	Yeah, binman.
	Yeah, it's like, binman works very hard.
	A teacher, what was it, a teaching assistant?
	Yeah, a teaching assistant.
	They don't do nothing.
	They do nothing.
	Literally, the day I left uni, I became a binman for a few months.
	How was it?
	I got chronically ill, but before that, it was great.
	That's lovely.
	I went to jail.
	Did you eat the trash?
	A bit of it got in my mouth.
	Genuinely, a bit of it.
	That's how I got... I wonder why you got ill?
	So on our ones, like on the side of the truck...
	The truck split into different sections.
	So, like, you'd have to sort out the black boxes and put in everything.
	And we had, like, an Indian summer, and these people hadn't washed out their jars, and it was just full of water, and, like, it's every two weeks in the election.
	Perfect temperature for bacteria to grow.
	And I was by the clear glass.
	What, you went, dum-dum-dum?
	Yeah.
	Mmm, moorish.
	No phytic acid in it.
	They threw it into the clear when it splashed.
	I got a mouthful of it.
	And, like, the next month, I just felt like I was a bit groggy.
	And then one day just hit me.
	I wanted to die.
	What does it taste like?
	Do you know at the time?
	Because I had like, you know, sweat dripping in my mouth because I didn't really like notice a flavor, but yeah.
	What does death taste like?
	Yeah.
	Salty.
	Frank Reynolds says, I'm so glad Miles is here.
	I was praying for you in the first couple of months after the arrest when it was a deafening silence.
	How's your well-being?
	Oh, thank you, guys.
	Honestly, everyone thought I was dying and just dead, but they realize you have to manifest through the sheer power of autism, the delusional confidence to get through certain situations.
	Delusional confidence does work, by the way.
	You got just the right amount of childhood vaccines, didn't you, mate?
	You got the perfect amount of autism.
	I was never vaccinated, by the way, as a child.
	Really?
	Yeah, thank God.
	It's all in your heroin.
	Someone's going to catch smallpox and just die in a few years.
	JJHW also says, Miles, get the Taliban to work out properly, unlike the entire US military with trillions of dollars.
	So you're going to be their military advisor.
	Jeez, they need, the Taliban needs me.
	Ah, jeez, I'm the Taliban's top guy.
	Ah, for God's sake.
	I would be interested in Palestine as well.
	Are you actually doing it?
	At some point.
	Honestly, I do run a business.
	I do have investors.
	So I need to please everyone.
	And I do need to do this media tour.
	So I do need to go to the US, go on Turkey, all this other stuff.
	And then I need to go back to Afghanistan because I've got a promise with the Taliban that I want to keep.
	But if it's a big war, it's going to last a while, isn't it?
	Like, at least six months.
	Hopefully.
	Maybe.
	I mean, I do want to say hopefully.
	I don't know if I... I think I told you.
	I planned another trip, which does go through there.
	And there's a portion of the trip I'd like you to come on, so we'll chat about that later.
	Which could be fun.
	So maybe.
	Yeah, let's do it.
	Inshallah.
	Inshallah indeed.
	So on deporting people who, well, literally are murderers, Matt Thompson says Clear Them Out has finally managed to make its way to Parliament.
	Yeah, thank God.
	Yeah.
	You seen that clip?
	Yeah, yeah.
	The guy's just like, Clear Them Out!
	You know them?
	Clear Them Out!
	If I was PM for like a week, I think I could solve a lot of problems to be fair.
	I mean, I would be a dictator.
	I could do it in a long weekend.
	Yeah.
	I reckon.
	Yeah, I like the whole dictator system as long as I'm the dictator and no one else is.
	One man, one vote, and I'm the man.
	Yeah, so true.
	Kim Jong-un, you know, the... Yeah, I'll just run North Korea, you know.
	Put my name in the ballot, no one will expect it.
	They do actually have an election every five years.
	It's pretty retarded, man.
	Yeah, I don't know what the point is.
	Imagine North Korea leads going... Well, they have multiple parties, but of course, like, what are you, stupid?
	Yeah, who would actually start that party and run it?
	I mean, they're obviously controlled.
	Probably you.
	I can see you doing that.
	I would be the worst dictator.
	I think I would make North Korea worse.
	You know what I mean?
	I would just think it was funny.
	I would just promise change.
	I'd be like, yeah, change for the worse.
	I would do it.
	I would say, hey, North Korea.
	But now we have loads of immigrants.
	No, North Korea.
	Yeah, the North Korean Somali community is big.
	Big if true.
	North Korea bought some like a thousand Volvos from Sweden in the 70s.
	And they are still refusing to pay it.
	That's kind of base though.
	That's quality.
	Yeah, they did it with the Russians too.
	They were just like, are you gonna pay for that?
	The best ones were the Chinese.
	The Chinese sent them a train full of supplies and then they take the f***ing train as well.
	It's like, you gotta pay for the train, and we're like, well, you gave it to us.
	Yeah, man, what train?
	I think you've just made a new political drinking game, though.
	It's like, who can come up with the best way to make North Korea but worse?
	Anyway, so George Happ says, Well, George says Mog and Co got the wrong idea about being a supposed conservative.
	It means conserving the whole country, not just your neighborhood.
	The Tories can't be demolished soon enough.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, conservatives are just, uh, liberals like five years ago, you know?
	Well, they're just, they're just another wing of the West.
	You can't vote your way out of this.
	Yeah, honestly.
	Guy Fawkes was the last man to go to Parliament with honest intentions.
	If we look at Europe, there were some guys near World War II who had some great intentions.
	I'm not endorsing anything, but he was the last man to go to Parliament with honest intentions.
	I like Mussolini to be fair.
	He actually went to heaven, by the way, true story.
	Sorry, the Taliban tell you this.
	No, no, Mussolini actually accepted Christ in the last few weeks of his life.
	It's a family guy.
	I accept Jesus as my Lord and Savior!
	It's true though, he accepted Jesus Christ and I think it was a priest who had a vision one day and he actually saw Mussolini in heaven with Jesus, so true story by the way.
	What, going like that?
	No, it's good stuff man, I can't talk about it.
	If you get to heaven, there's Bin Laden, Mussolini.
	It's like...
	I suppose you'd just be chilling.
	You'd be like, oh, hey guys.
	Yeah, I'd probably be in hell by accident or something, you know.
	I hope to go to heaven, man.
	That's the only goal.
	That's the biggest trip I'm going to go on.
	It's the only one that matters.
	The only one that matters, yeah.
	You know, that's what I'm going to post now when you do get killed on one of your trips.
	Is it Mars' own one trip he's gone to heaven or something?
	Yeah, Mars' final trip to the big place in the sky or the big Afghanistan.
	It's like, yeah, your dog's gone off to live on a farm type of post.
	You want me to take your Twitter account just in case you do die so I can tweet that?
	Yeah, man, so my password is...
	Anyway, Shaker Silver says, Mog is even wrong about the UK migration as being a success compared to the United States.
	America is actually much better at integrating migrants into its culture.
	See the larger amount of Hispanics coming indistinguishably cultural from the American South and now voting for Trump.
	The UK, however, has far more institutionalized action dedicated to keeping ethnic groups as separate political constituencies, distinct from the native culture.
	Yeah, it's still a shit show though in the U.S.
	I just don't like the Mexicans to be fair.
	Like, I've been there a few times.
	Well, you went to the border where there was a kid's cast.
	Yeah, like, I saw one guy just swimming with his kid with a broken leg or something.
	And he had no reason to be there.
	He was just like, I want to work at a Home Depot or something.
	So I dragged my kid with a broken leg.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	It's a potential death.
	Yeah, and they almost drowned too.
	Probably not even his kid.
	Yeah, it happens a lot of the time.
	No joke, when I was on the border.
	For less than one day, ladies and gentlemen.
	I don't know if we can get this on screen.
	I mean, Miles did a video about this.
	That's what he's talking about.
	Oh, there it is, yeah.
	Top right.
	There we are.
	Because there's a scene in here that really got to me.
	It's this cemetery.
	Yeah, this was less than one day there, by the way.
	So I saw so much stuff, man.
	And this happened in numerous locations.
	So this guy's saying a John Doe is for women, and then you've got the baby corpses as well who are being buried there.
	Yeah.
	With these crappy crosses that are made out of what, like piping?
	As much as that looks like piping.
	Yeah.
	There's people risking their kids' lives getting them killed because they want to work in Home Depot.
	See, that's bad.
	Someone hasn't got any piping on their gutters now.
	Here's the thing, if the immigrants had stayed home and actually built up a country like Europe did, you know, to every other place and spread technology and stuff like, you know, some countries did well, you know, there wouldn't be brain drain.
	I mean, the country would actually slowly improve.
	It wouldn't take the easy way out.
	They just don't want to improve things.
	They just want to flee, you know.
	Well, that's the thing I got actually in Afghanistan with you as well, where you look at the place and you're like, it actually has potential.
	No, Afghanistan could be amazing.
	It's very rich in minerals.
	It could be the most beautiful tourist attraction at some point.
	It's just, you know, I don't really get the mindset of this type of stuff, you know.
	But if they refocus themselves, as a country as well, to being more focused on that, they could actually do really well.
	No joke, I actually really do want to help Tyler Banbat's stuff.
	I mean, obviously, who am I to go there and tell him stuff, but... Do you guys like money?
	Yeah, it's like, do you like being rich?
	You know what I mean?
	It's like... Who am I to go tell him that?
	Have you heard about Butlins?
	I'm going to change your country.
	So then this guy here, he's talking about the mainstream media.
	Yeah, he was solid, man.
	50 migrants that get sent to Martha's Vineyard.
	Whereas these are all recent corpses as well that have been buried.
	Oh, yeah.
	They've run out of space, by the way.
	This is just, they can't bury them fast enough.
	You can see the old cemeteries and it's like, oh, the new bodies.
	I'll just put some piping on it.
	You know, when about three quarters of a way in, we saw there was a bunch of migrants that were jumping the border.
	And when we spoke to them privately, one of my guys was speaking Spanish and they weren't, the kids with them were just kids they randomly picked up.
	Yeah, it's what they do.
	So when, you know, they're all about how they complain about Trump separating, you know, tearing kids from their families.
	Who cares?
	Actually, nobody, so why they were doing it was, um, it wasn't their kids.
	So what they do, they take them away separately, DNA test them both, interrogate them both.
	And obviously, if the kids are by these adults, they go, Oh, is that your dad?
	People go, whereas when they're separated, they can go, you're safe now.
	Is that your, are you related to them?
	And during the Trump administration, child trafficking arrests went through the roof.
	So that was actually why they separate kids from their family.
	Because often they're not.
	They get stolen and used as a, oh, me and my young child, we're trying to get into America for the land of prosperity.
	It's that guy from Titanic.
	Unrelated note, I'm not a fan of Israel to be fair, you know my opinions, but don't they have on their border basically turreted walls and everything like that?
	Oh, I love Israel.
	Why can't we do that?
	Why can't we just set up, like, a giant sentry nest just on our borders?
	Well, yeah, Dover, there is an old gun nest.
	They could... Hey, hey, hey.
	Oh, it's our right move.
	Is it for sale?
	You think you're good?
	There is one.
	You know, there is, yes.
	It's where we used to go do a lot of our film with Red Bull.
	At this old gun point.
	Actually, this is what we do.
	We get a, uh... We get a live stream set up.
	We get me with a sniper rifle.
	No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, No, I'll say I want a real pod and I think they'll be based.
	As long as you got it endorsed by the British government, then we can talk about it.
	Yeah, well, I want to run the British government, I can fix everything.
	You probably would do a much better job.
	So, on the fat problem, Omar Awad says, big fat, big farmer, big fight, but if you boil it all down, it's about big finance.
	They're willing to send you to death and dystopia because it makes so much money.
	We are customers to these people.
	We're not human.
	Cattle.
	But yeah, we're cattle.
	I'm gonna do Greggs after this still.
	Silver says, avoid the seed oils, corn syrup, and soy protein, all hallmarks of heavily processed, mass-produced food designed to fill you up on the cheap for no nutritional value.
	I'm going to Greg's after this still.
	Nah, I'm joking.
	No one's perfect.
	To be fair, at one point I might just go on steroids.
	No joke.
	Just do a cycle of Clen and then do some Dynabol, then take something to lower estrogen as well.
	I have no idea what you're talking about.
	Basically, Dynabol will get you huge, but it's a bit toxic to the liver.
	Clenbuterol is like a fat burner, but VATS only.
	The views of the world don't represent the views of the management.
	Honestly, who doesn't want to walk around looking huge?
	Look at this guy right here.
	We're not endorsing steroids.
	If that's so, I'll be still watching.
	I endorse steroids, like, why not?
	As long as you do it responsibly.
	As long as you don't cycle five different ones.
	One of the best ways, instead of doing steroids, if you want to get bigger and work out more, ice baths.
	If you train after a night, don't ice bath after training, because that prevents atrophy, which is basically the muscle growth.
	Do it before you work out on your testosterone spikes.
	That's Sarah Olme.
	How do you pronounce your name?
	Look up the research by Dr. Russell Blaylock.
	That's where he found a lot of the aspartame stuff.
	He's heavily censored, as you can tell.
	All right, well, we're pretty much out of time.
	So if you'd like more from us, come back in 30 minutes.
	We'll be doing Lads Hour.
	If you want to find more from Miles, you can find him, as I've mentioned, over here at the YouTube channel.
	Please, I need to pay child support to my five children in different countries while I constantly travel.
	Please, please go follow me, man.
	Donate something.
	You'll fund my death.
	Just do it.
	If you want to not fund someone's death, you can go have a look at Callum Smiles, as you can see here.
	Go and check out what's going on there.
	That's a great name, by the way.
	Callum Miles.
	Smiles.
	Callum Smiles.
	Callum Smiles Media.
	Callum Smiles Media.
	I will admit, the name memes on this show are a whole other thing.
	But anyway, we'll be back in 30 minutes.
	We need to probably go and get Greg's or something.
	Stare at a wall.
	Bye!

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