FBI Director Kash Patel and Alexis Wilkins dismantle online conspiracy theories regarding their backgrounds and security protocols, citing a 35% surge in foreign spy arrests and doubled violent felon captures. They navigate intense media scrutiny and death threats while managing a long-distance relationship through strategic travel and prioritizing shared experiences over rigid planning. Ultimately, the discussion highlights how personal resilience and factual transparency counteract sensationalized falsehoods in an era of heightened political polarization. [Automatically generated summary]
How often has he traveled to see you since January 20th?
If I was actually abusing it, I would go see every one of her shows.
I think I get to like 15%.
We at the Bureau are going to wildly protect free speech.
Wildly so, especially with the people that are in disagreement with whatever your views may be.
But at the same time, you have to enforce the laws, and people expect that of us.
Literally every single week, we have a huge takedown, a huge arrest, either in the counterterrorism space, espionage space.
We've arrested 35% more spies from foreign adversaries this year alone than last year.
So I just want to clarify, you're not Jewish.
I'm not.
You are not from Israel.
No.
So how did we get to, are you a massad agent?
You know, that's a great question.
Where's her ring?
It's definitely coming.
Has there been one moment where you're like, you can't make this up?
I think it's like every day.
Hi, everyone, and welcome to this week's episode of the Katie Miller Podcast.
Please don't forget to like, subscribe, share, and follow.
This week we are so excited to be joined by Cash and his beautiful girlfriend Alexis.
Thanks for joining.
Yeah.
Thanks for having us.
So for all the viewers out there, Alexis, would you mind reintroducing yourself as to what you do, your bit of your backstory, before we dive deeper?
Yes.
So I am a country music artist and then have also been folded into the world of political commentary and political advocacy over the past like five or so years.
Did you start doing the political commentary before you met Cash or did that kind of evolve at the same time?
I was in it before we met.
I was really in political commentary in some form since I graduated college because I went through a lot with the whole college's nuts and leftists are crazy stuff with that whole world and getting involved with different organizations to help speak with students and help them learn to advocate, not work for or not write papers that they disagree with in order to make a grade, you know, all that stuff that goes on on college campuses.
That's really where I started and then it expanded from that.
And this, ladies and gentlemen, is Kash Patel, director of the FBI.
It's great to be with you.
Thanks for having us.
Do you love being the FBI director?
Yeah, it's a great job.
It's worth the fight and it would not be possible if you don't have an incredibly strong partner and I'm lucky to have Alexis.
Did you think a year into this, this is what being the FBI director was going to be when you said to the president that, yes, I would love to be your FBI director?
I think the work is definitely, you know, obviously you and I and the team knew what President Trump was going to do.
We served in the first administration.
We worked with him in between and we kind of expected the roadmap that he had laid out, his vision for America.
So we've executed on that across the front.
I think some of the surprises are, of course, how the media reacts to a lot of this stuff.
Even for us, who are rarely surprised by the media, we've probably been surprised more than expected.
And then at what point did you two meet?
We met in, was it late 2022?
At a friend's house in Nashville, actually John Rich, was having an event at his house and it was for, we were trying to get music out for conservative personalities and John's always been a fantastic host and we met at his house and I walked up to her and I told her she had a nice jacket on and I think she turned around and walked away.
not true.
He always tells the story like this.
I'm like, I didn't, I at no point walked away.
I just did not, I mean, it just didn't hit me that my jacket was like the entry point of, hey, we should.
Have you tried Bill Ackman's May I Meet You?
In retrospect, that might have been a better approach because I didn't land my first date for a few months after that.
So throughout 2022 to prior to becoming the FBI director, you lived in Vegas and you lived in Nashville.
And so how did you make the long distance work?
I think like any relationship that succeeds, it's just those things don't matter.
You know, she's touring, we're campaigning, she's also doing campaign and political stuff at the same time.
So we just, like everybody else, got on planes, met where we could, made it a point to see each other either in Nashville or in Vegas.
And sometimes it ended up being in D.C. or sometimes it's on the road where she was performing.
And so you just make it happen if it's worth it, and it is.
So I just want to clarify, you're not Jewish.
I'm not.
You are not from Israel.
No.
So how did we get to, are you a massad agent?
You know, that's a great question.
I too have that question for the internet, actually.
You and me both.
No, I'm not sure.
I'm not Jewish.
I'm Christian.
I'm Christian.
I'm Armenian.
So, you know, not really sure how we got there.
I've never been to Israel.
I'd love to go.
It's just, the stamp isn't even on my passport, and I'm just as confused as everyone else is.
Because the internet to this point of the personal attacks on you and your relationship are not only from the far left, but are from the far right as well.
And how have you dealt with those attacks?
Do you let it, you know, are those things you guys discuss?
Do you let it roll off your sleeve?
Do you not read it?
I think there's a lot of people out there, especially young women, who are attacked in other ways from their friends, from their groups.
And that's something we all struggle with, right, is how to handle that.
And so going through what I think is a very public version of that.
And love to know how you deal with this.
I think that it's very important to first and foremost remember that the people who actually love you, my boyfriend, my family, those are the people who their opinions matter.
And then everything else kind of splinters off from that and you can decide how much value you want to place on other people's opinion.
I also understand that there's a benefit in whatever media spin whatever side is choosing to make.
If this side wants to say I'm a spy, it's because they're trying to attack him through me.
If one other, you know, if the far left is trying to spin me as a party girl, it's because it's, first of all, hilariously untrue and also because they want to get to him.
So I try not to take it personally.
Of course, it affects, you know, your headspace, affects your work, it affects like aspects of your life.
I can't pretend it doesn't.
It's horrible.
But I think remembering that the opinions of the people who actually love you and know you are what matter the most.
Yeah, I think for us it's we have a great support structure with our family and our friends as anyone does in this town in order to succeed.
We're blessed to have that.
And I think what hurts is that they have to read a lot of this falsehood.
She can take it.
I can take it.
We can take it.
It's definitely made us incredibly stronger.
But having a support network that knows it's total BS has made it a lot easier for us.
And our parents get along.
My parents like her more than they like me.
So it's, you know, in all this accounts that it matters, where it actually means something, it's never been better for me on a personal level.
Of course, I wish we didn't have to deal with the attacks.
Like she should be out there touring and crushing it on the country music stage, as she always has been.
And she shouldn't have to deal with the collateral consequence of just being the FBI director's girlfriend.
But I think with the hypersensitive nature of the media, especially the social media space, people come at you because it takes me back to like when I first did an investigation of consequence, you know, Benghazi or Rushigate or what have you.
You know, they always said it's going to be the loudest when you're over the target.
And yeah, it's been the loudest for us in recent history because she's doing amazing things and the FBI is doing a great job for the American people.
And certain sectors of the online space aren't satisfied that we're thriving, we're surviving, and that we have the support of this administration.
Do you think certain attacks on you or your relationship affect your work in different degrees?
Like, for example, a massage agent, is that any different than attacks, say, over your air travel?
Or do you just let it all roll?
Well, you let what you can roll, but when you have outright falsehoods, like this nonsense about, oh, you're taking a private jet, we're taking the FBI plane because Congress 20 years ago said FBI directors are not allowed to take commercial air travel ever.
So, okay, so we took that on and said, well, let's figure this out because we don't want to just run around.
And she's totally understanding.
She's like, if you can't see me this weekend, that's okay.
You stay where you are.
I'll stay where I am and we'll meet up next time.
And so what we did was we created a template where we're like, we will cross paths when we can, especially during the holidays and birthdays and important occasions for the families.
And we'll travel under the rules that have been established by the prior 20 years of Congress, the OJ and FBI, and pay for our personal travel, which we do like all members of the cabinet and other agency heads do.
And at the same time, I also kind of expected some scrutiny.
So we took additional steps to say, how can the FBI save money for travel when it's on personal matters?
And so I mandated Bureau require us to use government airfields.
The prior two directors didn't.
They didn't want to drive an extra 20 minutes to go to a government airfield like Andrews.
They wanted to use Reagan as their personal landing strip.
That cost the taxpayers an extra $4,000 to $7,000.
So when we see these attacks, and by the way, you add up that math, it was like $4 million by the prior directors.
They could have said if they've just done what we're doing, simply.
And no one told them not to go on vacation.
And it's ironic that they're saying, oh, you're going on vacation or you're going to see your girlfriend perform.
And if I was actually abusing it, I would go see every one of her shows.
I think I get to like 15%.
Just to clarify, how often has he traveled to see you since January 20th?
Oh, gosh.
I think like Nashville.
I've been in Nashville.
Yeah, I've been to her house a couple times with her family for the holidays and birthdays.
I've seen her perform this year, I think, three times.
Yeah.
So you would say less than an average long distance relationship.
Just to clarify.
So how often are you coming here?
I'm here, honestly, as much as I can be.
If I'm not working in Nashville, if I'm not on the road somewhere, yeah, I'll come here because it makes the most sense.
So does it 75-25 distribution here of you traveling versus him?
She travels more.
Yeah, she travels.
75% Alexis, 25% cash.
She's doing the majority of the work in this relationship right now.
I mean, yeah, she's doing the majority of her work in this relationship almost all the time.
No, we make it work.
We make it work.
So the other question is, and I'm sure you get this a lot.
Where's her ring?
It's definitely coming.
So I wouldn't worry about it.
And the beautiful thing about us is it doesn't matter.
There's no like timeline.
The other thing is the media is not going to dictate the speed at which this relationship moves.
We've been together for three years now, and we know where we're going, and we're building a life together, so we're going to do it on our timeline.
Do you think it'd be easier if you guys were engaged or married, and do you think the media would leave you alone more, or do you think it doesn't matter?
Managing Death Threats and Legal Thresholds00:16:31
I think that the media is going to pretend to find anything that they think will create a headline or bother us or create a story.
I think that it was something that they could hyper-focus on, both on the media and the influencer side.
You know, it's just people think that they know you.
It's going to flag your issues or bother you, but they don't.
So I don't know if it tangibly would have made a difference.
I don't think so.
And I think it's ironic that members of Congress, who, by the way, travel exclusively on government-funded programs and go see their family and friends wherever they live, whenever they want, not to mention the junkets they take overseas are the ones criticizing us and me specifically for daring to go see my girlfriend, my family, my elder parents in South Florida, or when I get to, on the rare occasion, go home to my house in Las Vegas.
You know, it's home.
And, you know, it's been home for five years for me.
So I enjoy doing that.
And it's hilarious when they hold up photos of me in Las Vegas and they say, what are you doing in Vegas?
And I was like, so I can't go home now?
And they just don't even do their basic research.
But it's the ultimate hypocrisy.
They do it more than I do.
And they see this as a point of clickbait.
And so they put out, they know Congress mandated it.
They know they are funded by Congress to travel way more than I do.
And they know it's a total lie to attack me for it.
But it's convenient because the left and the right have found it something that they think they can make a political football out of.
We touched on, you know, the media attacks, and I say the legacy media attacks on you and some of the ones on social media.
What's been that like for you to handle in your personal life when it's going out, performing now in terms of your safety?
How has that shifted over the last few months?
Well, not in a good way, right?
I mean, as you know, I do know.
You get it.
I do know.
You know, when you sensationalize falsehoods, people pick up on it because it's clickbait.
And then you create a target for people online who believe the falsehoods.
And she's been subject to multiple death threats, not just one, many, and many current ongoing investigations into people that have threatened her life.
And so I think it's outrageous that we're at that point.
And then people come in over the top and say, well, why should any agency head's partner have security?
Well, why are you putting out information that threatens their lives at their house, at their place of work, when they travel?
It's almost as if they, well, actually, they don't care.
They literally don't care.
And so we're not going to treat Alexis any different under law enforcement purposes just because I'm the director of the FBI.
Career investigators make the calls, they call the balls and strikes, they do the threat assessments, and they decide if and when she needs protection.
And that's just the way it's going to be for everybody, for anybody, at the White House or DOW or wherever you are.
Have you changed any of your online posting habits since the death threats have kind of picked up?
And what's been like the scariest moment where you're like, I don't like this anymore?
I mean, I've never really posted in real time.
I've always known to kind of delay where I am.
Just that felt like a smart practice to have.
That's become very important.
And I find myself posting less.
You know, my career has been country music artists, has been the advocacy work that I've done.
I've never considered myself an influencer.
So to me, it's not the end of the world that I cannot post all of the time.
That is perfectly okay with me.
But definitely, you know, less, just more thoughtfully, less places.
You know, you kind of don't really post what restaurants you go to anymore.
A fun picture with friends, try to make it a little more ambiguous.
But that's kind of it.
And then as far as scary moment, I mean, I just, I think when you start receiving the grotesque messages that I know you get too, you just have a moment where you go, oh, this is not just, you know, they call it, what is it called?
Awful but not unlawful, is you'll get some of those messages and they're terrible.
But when you get ones that you go, okay, this is specific, this is very serious.
Ones that say, see you soon or I'm on my way.
Yeah, don't love those.
So definitely those time and place messages are really intimidating.
And how have you handled that specifically?
I mean, I know when I get them, it's a bit different.
My husband's not the director of a law enforcement agency, similar to the way, you know, I know you probably have an urge to protect her when those things happen.
Yeah, of course.
And as Stephen does with you.
And I think what the both of us do well is we take the emotion out of it immediately.
You have to compartmentalize that and you'll deal with that in a private setting.
And then you let the professionals do what they have to do.
And whether it's folks at the White House and their protective services or protective services at DOJ or whatever agency, NSA, what have you, they take their jobs seriously.
They don't listen to the whims of the media.
They understand how to do the work, make the threat assessments, and I rely heavily, entirely, on them.
There's a system, unfortunately, we've had to actually create a system because there's so many where when there is a threat posted or levied or written about or made on a show, people review it and see does it meet the legal threshold and do we need to go talk to this person or does it meet the predicate to actually open an investigation and is it going to be someone that actually said they're going to cause harm.
And so thankfully we've got a great group that does that.
But the fact that we have to do that, and we're not the only ones.
You know, I talk to so many of my colleagues, Stephen and other agency heads all the time saying, oh yeah, it's another Tuesday.
Yeah.
Do you think, and I know Alexis and I have spoken and relate to this, but Erica Kirk was on TV talking about this as well.
Candace Owens has talked about this.
Do you think it's worse among women and females, these specific targeted death threats online, versus they are for, say, our male counterparts?
Or have you found that it's about even across the board in terms of the political speech violent messaging?
You know, unfortunately, I think it's across the board.
I think some receive more scrutiny than others, but, you know, unfortunately, the Attorney General has had numerous death threats.
The heads of other agencies, men and women, have had multiple death threats, have had their addresses doxxed and jeopardize the safety of where they call home, where they get to reside, forcing people to move and change up just their daily habits.
And so I don't think the, most of America, I think if they watch this show, they would be shocked.
They literally would be shocked.
The only place that is not going to be shocked is the online space on the extreme far left and far right that have made this into some sort of comedy.
And they'll probably use it to get some more clicks and some more views.
But hopefully your show is utilized.
Have you noticed that they come in through a specific place more frequently, whether that be Reddit, Instagram, Discord, X, or is it kind of doesn't matter, it's a crapshoot?
I think the volume on X is just because there's so many people on it, but it comes in everywhere.
I was going to stay on this for one more second because it's something I'm very fascinated in.
Do you find that the people often who are submitting these death threats are the ones who are actually actioning it?
Or is it more of a Charlie Kirk type situation, if we all believe that Tyler Robinson was the person who shot and killed Charlie, that it is someone who is not going to post online?
Like, has political violence and the death threats picked up since Charlie's murder?
Or is it about the same for where it's been, say, since January 20th?
I think this January 20th, it's maybe picked up a little bit.
I just think it's gotten a lot more attention, especially, you know, unfortunately, due to our friend's assassination.
It's put a big spotlight on it.
And most of America is taking it very seriously as something that should never happen in modern day America or ever.
And then the rest of the space is doing what they always do with it, which is using it to cannibalize and make a few bucks.
And look, we at the Bureau are, I've told them, I said, we are going to wildly protect free speech, wildly so, especially with the people that are in disagreement with whatever your views may be.
But at the same time, you have to enforce the laws, and people expect that of us, especially people who are public figures, expect that of us.
We know the difference between someone making fun of us, someone mocking us, someone saying hyperbole versus someone creating a situation that's going to harm us or families.
Are you surprised at the amount of political violence that has occurred, especially as it relates to Charlie Kirk, or did that kind of just what you kind of expected going into this?
I'm definitely not of the opinion that that was something I was expecting.
I mean, you know, Charlie, the National Guard assassination here just the other week, those aren't things I think we ever expected.
But at the same time, you have grotesque members of Congress who have nothing better to do to say, look, these assassinations occurred on your watch.
It's your fault.
It's okay.
You could say that.
That's fine.
Most of America will go back and say, well, what have you done lately to protect our communities?
And they know the answer is they've done jack squad.
And so for me and for her and just how we run, we basically want to make sure we give confidence to the majority of Americans out there that are listening to the truth.
And we're trying to ratchet the political violence down, but at the same time, it's under such a heavy spotlight because of these unfortunate, tragic incidents that we've had.
And so we'll get to the other side of them, but it's just going to take time.
What of the major investigations that I think have shaped, now that we're at the end of 2025, that has kind of shaped how we look at the world?
Because I think a lot of what you'd look back on this year, whether that be AI, I think the other ones are like the major FBI investigations for better or worse.
Which ones do you look at and you've handled and you're like, I'm so proud of how the FBI has worked on this?
And then secondly, it's, you know, how do you manage how you feel something personally and how you bring that home versus putting on your work hat and saying, I'm going to make sure we deliver the right results for that family or for that victim?
For everyone, for every family, for every victim.
That's just what you have to do if you're going to take on this job or if you're going to work at the Bureau.
And I think the work that we're proud of, I mean, literally every single week we have a huge takedown, a huge arrest, either in the counterterrorism space, espionage space.
We've arrested 35% more spies from foreign adversaries this year alone than last year.
Our domestic terrorism arrests.
What countries are they coming from?
DPRK, Russia, China, Iran.
Our domestic terrorism arrests this year alone are up 30%.
So when people are hitting us saying, you're not doing enough for domestic terrorism, we're actually doing a lot more.
And then there's the work that just doesn't get noticed.
And I mentioned it earlier, the work we're doing against child predators online, these sycophants that are preying on children as young as 8, 9, 10, 11 years old and causing them to commit suicide and mutilate themselves and do animal crushing, all these other disgusting things.
Those cases, the arrests are up 20 and 30 percent alone.
And so the Bureau is doing that work across the country and we try to showcase it as often as we can because I think that's what the American public wants to see.
And I believe that that's what President Trump was voted into office to deliver and he's delivering it.
And if they focused on that rather than us, you know, maybe more people would see the great work that we're doing.
But it's not going to stop.
And so neither are we.
So you were one of President Trump's first picks, I feel like, to be the FBI director.
I think it was.
Earlier picks.
Yeah.
How and how did that all come together?
Did you know you always wanted to be the FBI director?
No.
I think Katie Miller had a lot to do with it.
But I was sitting in our friend's house in Florida during, we were all doing all the transition work.
And so actually, I think as I remember it, I was one of the last agency heads he appointed.
And I was sitting in the living room and I got the call and you can imagine my reaction.
And then I immediately called my parents and I called Alexis.
And then I hung up and then the president put out a truth.
And then I think I got 3,500 messages in the next 10 hours.
So we briefly talked about the beginning, but like what's something stepping into being the FBI director in terms of actually running the day-to-day operations that you had no idea about, even knowing how much you knew, having previously investigated the FBI?
I think the amount of resource restraints we were under severely prohibited us from taking care of the workforce that was actually doing the job.
We've had no problem getting rid of people who failed in the mission and we've done that and we're going to continue to do that.
But I think the fact that you had a prior administration who supposedly was the one telling us we're weaponizing the FBI when they did RussiaGate and so many other things.
And so when we came in, we said anyone that weaponized the Bureau is not going to be a part of the Bureau anymore.
But I think the hardest part was the irony was the Biden administration who said the FBI was beloved, they reduced their budget year over year over year over year.
And then President Trump came in, thankfully, and said, look, we've got to reorganize that place.
We've got to keep the people that matter.
We got to recruit better people.
And we have to have leadership in there that doesn't bend to the whims of the media.
And that's been the hardest part for the deputy and I navigating that landscape.
But I think we've done it incredibly well, especially with the results.
We are literally having the best year the FBI has ever had.
Has there been one moment where you're like, you can't make this up or if this would be like a TV show if it was I think it's like every day there was a pretty funny incident in the Oval maybe a couple of weeks ago.
I was there with the president and a couple of members of the law enforcement teams and the press secretary Caroline Levitt came in and she said, hey, Mr. President, Cash, MSNBC or whatever outlet is saying you're going to fire cash.
And me and the president just started laughing in the Oval office at the same time.
And the president, of course, in his amazing manner, stands up and says, well, let's put out a truth.
And he goes, no, let's stand before the Declaration of Independence, do a photo.
And Caroline, you put out a great truth saying Cash is doing a great job and he's not going anywhere.
I mean, that's literally stuff you can't make up, right?
We're out there having, we have 27,000 arrests of violent felons this year.
That's twice as many as last year alone.
Four top 10 arrests, right?
Our work against those that prey on our children in our communities is up 510% for those that are child predators online and in the communities.
I mean, these are just certain examples of how hard the Bureau is working because the president's given us the resources.
Navigating Partisan Attacks on Personal Life00:05:52
So we both found that moment wildly comical and probably something you couldn't have ever scripted.
Is there any case that you regret the way it's been handled or how the media has picked it up since you've been the FBI director?
I think the media has handled almost every case differently since I've been the FBI director.
And that's disheartening because it takes away from the people doing the work.
The great thing is when I go across the country and I meet the agents across the country and our analysts and our support staff, and I don't meet the cops across the country.
Like this week, I just did a graduation of 2505 police officers through our Academy at Quantico.
Everybody loves this administration and they are saying that they have never been supported in the way that they've been supported now.
And the reason we showcase their work constantly is because we want the American public to know it.
I mean, you would think if you had arrested four top 10 most wanted fugitives in nine months, people would be happy that you took off a murderer, an MS-13 gang leader, you know, a child predator, and got the Abby Gate bomber and all these other things.
But it's because under the Trump administration, we're doing it and I'm doing it at the FBI.
They see reason to hit it.
And since they can't successfully with the facts, they hit us.
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So take me back.
So you're in college.
Where did you go to school?
I went to Belmont University in Nashville for business and political science.
Did you know you always wanted to be a singer?
I honestly, it's a longer story, but I started writing to, like writing music to raise money for an organization that I believed in.
And it was explained to me that you can do something you love to raise funds and awareness for something that you believe in and want to help with.
And so I said, great, when I was really young and wrote a song.
And it's kind of that thing where something that's a hobby turns into the thing that you do.
Didn't you write it when you were like eight?
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
It's just kind of just turned.
Yeah.
It kind of just turned into it.
My parents are lovely, not musical.
They're both in business.
So they're kind of like, this is great.
This is the hobby that you like doing.
Entertainment industry is scary.
What do we do?
But incredibly supportive.
And it just kind of all snowballed.
And by the time I was in high school and through to college, I was touring full-time.
So when you graduated, you were already touring.
And then you picked up advocacy, especially in the political realm, around that time in college and what you were seeing on college campuses.
Yeah, so I was already working, it's kind of twofold.
I was working with veterans and veterans organizations because I saw that there was a huge issue with that.
It kind of leans in the political thing as we kind of all know where the entertainment industry is not super friendly sometimes with those causes.
I was told that I should stop working with veterans organizations or that I should take an American flag out of my Instagram bio.
These very silly things that are really not partisan at all and veterans, veteran causes should never be partisan.
But I was working on all that stuff and then it kind of became an entertainment industry issue where they started making those comments, you need to endorse this person, you need to donate to this PAC, and they were all left-leaning at the same time as I was going through it on college campus and was dealing with professors that were adversarial and dealing with just the institution in general.
And so from there, I kind of decided, you know, look, I believe this.
I feel like I can communicate this.
I feel like other students are going through this and I want to help with it.
And so you're still living in Nashville now touring?
What's the latest in your musical career?
So still touring and then traveling a lot for that, kind of, you know, same as I've always been, just this added aspect of now I'm part DC, part Nashville.
Have you found that you've leaned more towards the advocacy political realm given what you've seen, especially the attacks on your personal life since you've been, I guess since President Trump's second term has started?
That's a great question.
You know, it's interesting because a lot of what I've done in the advocacy space is in educating.
You know, I believe in conversations.
I believe in having conversations with people you don't necessarily agree with.
You know, all of the content and videos that I was helping to create and make were all rooted in that, in educating the youth about the Constitution, teaching people that the Second Amendment can, you know, if we can sell it as a feminist movement, then maybe we'll get people in the middle left understanding that it's a great right that we should all celebrate.
And so a lot of my work that I did was rooted in reaching across and having people who don't understand you begin to understand you.
I think that with the attacks on the personal life was somewhere I hadn't, you know, we all deal with the same stuff normally.
This was a whole new ballgame because you're dealing with people on the far, you know, far left who want to say things about you.
You're dealing with the media.
You're dealing with people who want to spend things because it works for their narrative.
You know, it's just, you're kind of getting the broad spectrum.
But it's definitely made me want to lean in because I think that clearly telling the truth is still important.
And so we must continue to do that.
Balancing High-Profile Schedules with Normalcy00:04:07
What's an area that you disagree with Cash on?
Oh.
Come on now.
Oh no.
I think that it's really in like random things like I don't like spice and he does.
Like I like spice.
I just I can't handle spicy foods.
I'm trying.
I'm working on it.
Like I said, I'm Mediterranean, so I have it in me.
I just I need to get there with it.
No, the going out to eat is hilarious because I'm Hindu and I don't eat beef and she has a really significant seafood allergy.
So when we sit down at a dinner table or go to an event, we have to like make sure we've provided these instructions and so then when we're out to dinner at a nice dinner, she'll order like a steak, which is great.
And then I'll order like the seafood and everything else and it's like on a divided line.
Like it can't cross over.
But we make a really good surf and turf team at like events.
If it's like, hey, it's going to be steak and lobster.
Like that's great.
Perfect.
Just different places.
Divvy us up.
Like we're happy.
So what's the ideal date night?
Staying in.
Yeah, I was going to say at this point, probably like doing nothing.
Sitting on the couch, watching whatever, sleeping.
What's the best restaurant you guys have been to together in DC?
In D.C. In D.C. together.
Or I guess we'll go across the United States.
Our favorite restaurant is Mizumi in Las Vegas.
We go there as often as we can.
But Las Vegas has the best food in the country, so we're spoiled in that matter.
But DC, I don't know.
What do you like?
I'm basically when she's not here, I'm running the Uber Eats tab up because you get home, as you and Stephen know, at like 9 p.m.
And you're like, I don't have the time to cook, so whatever's convenient.
And then if I'm in town, I do cook.
She likes, you like Philomena a lot.
I do.
What's the best thing she cooks?
Chili.
Bison chili, which works out for me because I can eat it.
Oh, wow.
How do you keep your personal relationship strong when so much of what you do during the day isn't discussed outside of a classified setting?
How does that work for you?
She has this great ability to not only never ask me about my job, but never care to because she knows we're not going to discuss it.
And so I think that keeps a lot of it like compartmented, which is just something I've done my entire government career.
And so that's one of the ways in which we just don't have to waste time talking about what I'm doing at work or what's going on every day.
And she's incredibly respectful of like my schedule and the fact that it changes, as you know, with your own personal life, basically at the last possible second.
And sometimes things get canceled.
And if it really mattered to her, I would make every chance I could, opportunity I could to make it.
But she's also been unbelievably understanding of me calling it like Friday night up for a Saturday event saying, sorry, I can't make it.
Happens.
That's the nature of it.
The other thing with that, too, is that we had two entire years of our relationship where we were not in this dynamic, which is really such a blessing because, you know, we got to live, obviously we're here, there, and everywhere with our kind of the way our lives already were.
But it's, you know, we got to have kind of a normal feed before there were firewall topics and all that stuff.
So it's normal.
How do you reach him during the day?
I feel like I. Me, Nicole.
Yeah.
Nicole, or, I mean, oftentimes I'm running around during the day, so I'll like shoot a text and whenever he sees it, he sees it.
But I'm assuming that it's, you know, a little busy over there.
What's the most important meeting she's ever called and you stepped out of?
I've never had to step out of a meeting because if it was an emergency, I obviously would.
And thank God nothing like that has had to have happened.
I've had to step out of meetings for some family matters that arise with everyone else.
Compartmentalizing Chaos in a Busy Life00:12:56
But yeah, I've literally never had to do that.
I think I had to call you during a dinner, though, when I cut my finger open.
Oh, yeah, there was that.
I did.
That was.
I was, yes, I was not in D.C.
And she informed me she accidentally cut her finger open.
And I said, okay, are we getting stitches?
Are we at the hospital?
Are we good to go?
And her mom was sending me funny texts, and I knew it was.
Yeah.
What's your daily routine like right now?
Mine.
I get up early.
I go work out at the building and then I just roll into my day.
And I don't know if there's a daily routine after that that sticks.
It kind of gets jumbled.
Have you written any love songs about cash?
You know what's funny?
I don't think anyone's ever asked that.
Yeah, I have.
But, you know, I'm waiting to come out with new music next year will be when I release more stuff.
What are you working on now?
Right now, it's been writing and recording music.
It's been a lot of the advocacy stuff, working with veterans organizations that I work with, continuing that important work, working with, you know, I've worked with Turning Point for a long time.
I've worked with various organizations in the political space.
I'm on the NRA board trying to promote the glory of the Second Amendment and protect it and teach the youth about it and just all of those kind of categories.
I'm stoking those various things.
You spoke at the NRA convention, right?
I was there.
I actually performed there.
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
What's been your best performance that you've done, that you walked off the stage and you were like, I've hit a home run?
Ooh, there's this great venue in Tennessee, actually, not far from my house, which is really nice.
But it's a cavern.
You literally look out in the audience.
There's a cave, so there's one way in, one way out.
So your walk-on is actually through the crowd, like on the side of the crowd.
And they just pack the place out.
And it's less about me and my performance and more just about the fact that that crowd is always incredible.
What's more intimidating, performing in front of a crowd or working in the DC political circle?
I think you hit a point where nothing's intimidating anymore.
You just kind of roll with whatever's handed to you.
So you go through enough and you kind of go, all right, well, this is going to be fine, whatever it is.
We're going to play the time-honored game of would you rather?
I want you both to answer, okay?
She goes first.
Would you rather never be apart again, but always have paparazzi around or keep doing long distance but stay totally private?
Oof.
Oh.
I think the answer.
You just said she was going to answer first.
Yeah, I know, but she said it's not fair.
So you go first.
No, you already started.
Yeah.
No, look, we knew what we were signing up for to a certain degree.
And it's an incredible, it's crazy.
I am a first-generation Indian American whose parents fled a genocidal dictatorship in East Africa and lawfully emigrated to the United States.
And now their kids are the ninth director of the FBI.
There is nowhere else on planet Earth that that can happen.
So when you get an opportunity like that, you have to deliver, especially for the resources and the sweeping mandate that President Trump got.
Would I like to be anonymous?
I joke at all my conversations with my buddies.
I would pay a mountain of money to have my anonymity back.
But that's just the way it is, and it's okay.
I was going to say long distance because, and then private and nobody, you know, none of the paparazzi stuff because we know how to make that work.
Would you rather always have delayed flights or lose your luggage every other trip?
Oh, you go.
Delayed flights.
I would rather have delayed flights.
I really don't want to lose my luggage.
She is, yes.
Her luggage is a whole deal.
And there's colors and shapes and sizes.
And so I think she would rather have her luggage arrive rather than herself, knowing that it got there.
And then she can get there later.
I would like to add a caveat to that, though, because I know someone's going to be like Alexis Wilkins, Diva, who has a lot of luggage.
I never know exactly where we're going.
I never know exactly how long the trip's going to be.
I have this well-prepared, you know, comfort creature.
I'm like, do I have a candle?
Yes, I do.
Like, but, you know, nobody's having to.
But you pack candles?
Yeah, I have a travel candle sometimes.
Like, it's just, you know, if you're always somewhere different, you might as well be comfortable.
I have a heating pad.
I have all sorts of things.
You got to pack for black tie affairs, for dinners.
That's true.
For non-events, you know, you never know.
I like to share I pack in a purse with like two things.
I love that.
I just buy things where I go.
Well, okay, I should start adopting that strategy.
That's a good idea.
No, no, that's not, let's not try that for a while.
She's over here, like, bad plans.
But if you want to take her shopping, that's no, but I'm talking like I target iWalmart.
I'm not like doing the high-end stuff when I'm traveling.
That's great.
But it's great.
It's clean.
It smells good.
It's a nice sizable piece of luggage over there, too.
That's for the equipment.
Would you rather always agree on what to watch or what to eat?
She doesn't really care what we watch.
That's very true.
So it's rather.
Yeah, I just, I don't really care.
I don't watch a lot of movies or TV if we're not together.
So when we are together, I don't have large opinions.
I haven't been watching a show that I really want to know what happens next.
He's very good at picking shows, too.
So I'm cool abdicating that.
This next question is very funny.
Would you rather Cash sing backup vocals on your next single or Alexis field questions from senators about your relationship in a televised hearing?
Well, one, she would feel those questions spectacularly well and crush those clowns.
Two, if I sang backup vocals for her or anyone else, their career would be over.
Which one would you rather?
You know, I'm going to, I like his answer a lot.
I think it's good.
If he wanted to, I would never say no, but I have a feeling that would not be his bag.
Would you rather never argue again or never have to apologize again?
We don't really argue.
Yeah.
Maybe just not ever apologize again because you didn't let the person.
You haven't argued in three years.
So you don't let the person down?
No, we have spats here and there.
Over what?
Tell the people.
Very interested.
Yeah.
I love this.
Are you coming today?
Are you coming tomorrow?
I don't know.
When is so-and-so getting here?
Maybe tomorrow, maybe the next day.
It's all logistics.
Like, I want to be able to plan, not plan far ahead.
I understand that that's not possible, especially in the last, you know, nine months.
But it's kind of like where you, it's more just, okay, like, let's just make, let's make a decision so that we can do it.
So, like, yeah, it's just, we haven't really, we agree on all of the fundamentals.
And I think when you get along really well, you agree on the basic things.
I just, I don't really, it's just really not.
We don't, we don't, in the, I'd say the first couple years even, we didn't have enough like time together to go, like we got plenty of time, but time together to find something that, to waste time over.
Like nothing is that important.
Our relationship and having great time together is way more important.
What are you watching on TV right now?
Oof.
Really crappy Netflix series with all the travel you have to do.
So you just like load it up with whatever is relevant.
But then there's some really good ones out there.
Paramount's crushing it with like Mayor of Kingstown, Tulsa Kings, and Landman.
And then there's just random things that come in to document.
I'll watch anything related to hockey.
So stuff like that.
Do you watch any shows now that have the FBI and you're like, that's just not accurate?
That's not how we do it there.
No.
I guess like a doctor watching ER or something.
What's the first concert you've ever been to?
I went to a journey concert.
So I know, Cash, you're a big country music fan.
What's your favorite?
Who's your favorite artist?
George Strait.
Really?
Even outside of country?
Because I was half joking.
100%.
All day long.
He's so serious.
He just got like the Candy Center honors, didn't he?
He did.
Yeah.
Did you meet him?
I did not meet him there, but Alexis for my birthday surprised me by taking me to the George Street concert.
And I'd never been before in my life, so that was pretty awesome.
This is for both of you.
Separate answers.
What's your secret talent?
Ooh, you go first.
I don't have one.
You've got to have a secret talent.
We all have one.
What's yours?
I think I can see over the horizon and see like what's bad or good in the future.
I think I can compartmentalize.
Men can do that.
Men's brains are like waffles.
Yes.
They have little compartments and they can think on one little compartment at a time and close it.
And men actually have a compartment that has nothing in it.
They're so good at it.
I can't do that.
I have a gut.
I have a decent, really decent gut.
Yeah, definitely compartmentalizing.
What's the first app you open in the morning?
Oof.
I probably just catch up on whatever messages have coming in on a messaging app.
That's probably it.
My alarm first, I guess, is the technical answer.
But past that, kind of whatever came up.
How much are you sleeping at night right now?
I shoot for like five to six hours, but, you know, it varies.
What's your go-to hype song?
Mine is actually really funny.
Mine's the song from Hercules, like Go the Distance.
Yep, that's my hype song.
I don't know why.
Sorry.
Pretty much anything from Guns N' Roses.
Okay.
Who's the queen of country music?
She is.
Very sweet.
I need a polymarket now on when the two of you are getting engaged.
Like, I will be there front and center.
For a while, I was like, Dan Scamino needs to get engaged.
Like, Aaron is incredible.
And then he did it, which was great.
You're like the last one outstanding.
Last man standing.
We won't disappoint.
Better be good.
I mean, I'd prefer that polymarket poll to like if I'm a spy or not.
Is there one up there?
There was.
What were the odds?
I don't remember.
It was a while ago.
That's a good one.
Because I feel like polymarket now is more accurate than reality, so the fact that it's gone bodes well for you.
Yeah, it expired.
They were like, we know, no, I guess.
That bodes well for your future, I guess.
I'll take it.
What says it's not accurate?
Typically, this is the last question of every single podcast I've done.
I want two different answers.
If you could host a dinner party with three people, dead or alive, who's at the table?
And what are you eating?
Okay.
I would pick Ronald Reagan.
My papa.
I know, I'm not a celebrity, but my grandfather met like the most in the world to me.
And he knows everything about history.
And he's the reason that I got into loving and appreciating history at veterans.
He was a veteran, all that stuff.
I could talk about my papa forever, so I will move on.
Third one is hard because that was kind of as far as I got in my head.
I don't know who my third would be, but we'd be eating.
My papa loves like very simple meals like roast chicken, mashed potatoes, and so we'd eat what he likes because he gets to pick over Ronald Reagan.
Sorry.
Well, I'm going to answer it, but it's going to break your rules.
You're just going to have to live with it.
Okay, fine.
The 1980 men's miracle on ice hockey team.
And we would be eating chicken parm heroes from my favorite deli on Long Island.
Is that like chicken parm and everything else or is chicken parm here is just like a subs restaurant?
It's a sandwich, yeah.
Okay.
Thank you so much for doing this.
Thanks for having us.
Thank you.
Thank you so much for watching this episode of the Katie Merrill Podcast.
I hope we all learned something new about Cash and Alexis today because I know I did, even being their friend.
Please don't forget to like, subscribe, share, and follow.
We're available every Tuesday night at 6 p.m. where you get your podcasts.