Andrew Klavan Show - Try Not To Become Gay Watching These Liberal Dating TikToks
Aired: 2026-04-16
Duration: 09:19


=== Dating Conservatives (09:18) ===

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[00:00:59]  You know, people always ask me why I do these bonus videos where I look at stupid stuff on TikTok.
[00:01:06]  And it's because my producers arrange it and they hate me.
[00:01:08]  They're trying to kill me.
[00:01:09]  I'm actually only 27 years old.
[00:01:12]  I look like this because of watching stupid TikTok videos.
[00:01:15]  And today, I'm going to be watching TikTok videos with left-wing dating advice.
[00:01:20]  I can't even imagine the horror I'm about to experience, but I want you to experience it with me because, you know, I hate you as much as they hate me.
[00:01:28]  All right, let's take a look.
[00:01:30]  Say goodbye, babe.
[00:01:31]  Going to the No Kings protest.
[00:01:32]  I'll see you there, babe.
[00:01:33]  Tell them slash they I said hey.
[00:01:35]  I feel like you've become very liberal since dating Shayla.
[00:01:37]  No, I'm just going to the protest to support her.
[00:01:39]  You know me, Anna.
[00:01:40]  Oh, okay, great.
[00:01:41]  But Trump has been acting like a king lately with all the deportations and deploying the National Guard to our cities.
[00:01:45]  But you know me, I'm not a liberal.
[00:01:47]  If anything, I lean more right.
[00:01:48]  Right.
[00:01:48]  Sweet, the movers are here.
[00:01:49]  Movers?
[00:01:50]  Yeah, I sold their house.
[00:01:51]  What?
[00:01:51]  Well, Justice, this house was built on stolen land.
[00:01:53]  Shayla was telling me how in the 1700s, white men stole this land from the Ball Sacagawea tribe.
[00:01:58]  Oh, Matthew, you are liberal as f now.
[00:02:00]  Liberal?
[00:02:00]  No, you know me.
[00:02:01]  If anything, I lean more right.
[00:02:03]  He's right.
[00:02:03]  This little rascal definitely leans more right.
[00:02:06]  Who are you and what are you doing in my house?
[00:02:07]  Or should I say Ball Sacagawea's house?
[00:02:10]  I'm Rick, Matt's boyfriend.
[00:02:11]  Oh, you're gay now?
[00:02:12]  No, I'm not gay.
[00:02:13]  Gay.
[00:02:13]  Rick and I are just in a non demi curious, semi binary relationship.
[00:02:16]  Shayla's fully on board because we're a polyamorous couple.
[00:02:19]  You're liberal.
[00:02:20]  I'm leaving.
[00:02:20]  Liberal?
[00:02:21]  No, you know me.
[00:02:22]  If anything, I leave more rights.
[00:02:23]  You want a bang before we go to the protest?
[00:02:25]  As long as I'm the bottom king.
[00:02:26]  Or should I say, no king?
[00:02:30]  All right.
[00:02:30]  That was better than I thought it was going to be.
[00:02:31]  I thought it was going to be serious.
[00:02:33]  But that was so accurate that I'm actually impressed.
[00:02:36]  So now I don't have to stick a screwdriver in my eyes, which I prefer.
[00:02:40]  You know, normally I would say, it says in the Bible, if your eye offends you, stick a screwdriver in your face.
[00:02:46]  And I don't like to do that.
[00:02:47]  Maybe I'm getting that wrong.
[00:02:48]  I'm doing that from memory.
[00:02:49]  Anyway, let's watch some more.
[00:02:51]  I believe women are meant to stay home and raise children.
[00:02:54]  You want to raise your kids in a religious environment.
[00:02:58]  You didn't march with VLM.
[00:03:01]  You don't stand with Kamala.
[00:03:04]  You think global warming's a joke.
[00:03:07]  You think we should have a border?
[00:03:10]  This isn't going to work out.
[00:03:14]  See, I thought that was going to be pornographic because I was getting kind of hot as he was talking.
[00:03:21]  I wanted to see the babe, you know, I wanted to see the girl.
[00:03:26]  I was thinking, if this was me and she were saying that, I'd be throwing myself across the table at her because I have no class.
[00:03:32]  But I actually believe that these things take place.
[00:03:36]  This is supposed to be satire, but I'm not sure how to distinguish satire from reality, which is, of course, a large problem in my life anyway.
[00:03:43]  All right, more.
[00:03:45]  Women that are dating a liberal king or even just a moderate man who decided to vote blue because they give a shit about you, did they come that way, like in the packaging, or did you have to create that?
[00:04:03]  Was that an add on later, or did it arrive that way from the jump?
[00:04:11]  Now, that's really interesting that she's asking that.
[00:04:14]  Is she asking that because she wants to form a man into a liberal?
[00:04:18]  Is that why she's asking?
[00:04:19]  He does not have a penis.
[00:04:20]  We don't have genitals.
[00:04:22]  I have all the genitals.
[00:04:24]  It sounded like that.
[00:04:24]  It sounded like we may have intercepted a sinister plot and possibly should be reporting this to Kash Patel at the FBI to track this woman down before she ruins some man's life.
[00:04:35]  On the other hand, on the other hand, if you take a look at that very attractive girl and are willing to become a liberal to get your hands on her, shame on you.
[00:04:44]  That's a terrible thing.
[00:04:45]  Creepy, creepy little game.
[00:04:46]  Oh, that's judgmental, isn't it?
[00:04:48]  It's one thing to lie, cheat, steal so that you can make love to a girl.
[00:04:53]  It's another thing to become a left-winger.
[00:04:55]  I mean, that is really sinking low.
[00:04:58]  I think that's what happened to Solomon in the Bible.
[00:05:00]  You know, he started marrying out of the faith and ultimately began to believe in DEI and transgenderism and the empire of the Israelis fell.
[00:05:10]  Again, I'm quoting the Bible from memory, so I may not be getting it right.
[00:05:13]  All right, let's look at some more.
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[00:06:29]  That's preborn.com slash K L A V A N. Why do conservative men continue to try to date liberal women?
[00:06:37]  Well, they want to control them.
[00:06:39]  What if it's not that?
[00:06:40]  What if it's actually a lot more simple?
[00:06:41]  Go on.
[00:06:42]  Okay, so conservative men want to date.
[00:06:45]  They don't want to necessarily marry immediately.
[00:06:47]  Right, the goal is dating, which is why they're trying to date, not just like seek out a betrothal.
[00:06:53]  Right, but what is the conservative ideal of dating?
[00:06:57]  Well, you certainly wouldn't get it on before marriage.
[00:07:00]  You would simply marry and then have a family immediately with a supportive husband who already works and can support a family, right?
[00:07:10]  Right, but that's not dating.
[00:07:12]  So if a conservative man wants to Date and doesn't already have all of those things, they're gonna pursue liberal women.
[00:07:20]  And incidentally, they would then want to become what they desire and have the women follow suit.
[00:07:27]  No, no, they date liberal women because they think they're easy.
[00:07:31]  Did you sleep with them?
[00:07:32]  Yeah, probably.
[00:07:33]  You would?
[00:07:34]  However, that can be a snare and a trap.
[00:07:37]  You can be, you know, drawn in to the terrible world of leftism, and then pretty soon you'll have a ring in your nose and everything will just be terrible.
[00:07:47]  Hi.
[00:07:47]  Sorry, I haven't been posting.
[00:07:49]  I honestly just needed to take a break from social media.
[00:07:52]  But I talked a lot about what I was not looking for in a guy.
[00:07:57]  So I just want to know does this person exist?
[00:08:01]  Is it possible to find a guy who is funny, attractive, liberal, cares about the environment, is a cowboy, is Glenn Powell?
[00:08:13]  Okay, he doesn't have to be Glenn Powell.
[00:08:15]  But is it possible to find like a country guy?
[00:08:18]  Guy who can like is handy but is also liberal.
[00:08:24]  Is that a thing?
[00:08:25]  Oh, well, I'm glad she asked.
[00:08:28]  No, you can't have that.
[00:08:30]  You can't have that.
[00:08:31]  Liberal men are all homosexuals.
[00:08:34]  You want a bang before we go to the protest?
[00:08:35]  As long as I'm the bottom king.
[00:08:37]  The only good thing about them is they will make you a good cup of coffee.
[00:08:41]  In heaven, the left wingers build the restaurants and the theaters and the conservatives run the government.
[00:08:47]  And in hell, And also in America, it's the other way around.
[00:08:50]  I mean, this is a thing.
[00:08:52]  But no, you cannot find that man.
[00:08:54]  You know, leftism is a mental disorder, and it makes you grow smaller and smaller.
[00:08:59]  It makes you go hollow inside until you finally just collapse in on your own stupidity.
[00:09:04]  I hope this is over.
[00:09:05]  Is this over now?
[00:09:05]  Yes, we're done.
[00:09:06]  Thank you.
[00:09:07]  Thank you.
[00:09:08]  I'm free.
[00:09:09]  Sorry.
[00:09:10]  Sorry.
[00:09:10]  I usually don't get that emotional.
[00:09:12]  If you love dating conservatives, like and subscribe.
[00:09:14]  And if you want to marry conservatives, subscribe to The Andrew Clavin Show wherever you get your podcast.