Tom, the anonymous producer, ranks crime thrillers on a deflated scale: Zodiac (2007) earns an A for its chilling true-story realism, while Goodfellas (1990) and The French Connection (1971) get S for their cultural impact. The Talented Mr. Ripley (1999) and Dog Day Afternoon (1975) also score A, despite quirks like Pacino’s "weird" bank heist or Paltrow’s casting. Bullitt (1968) and The Untouchables (1987) earn S for innovation—McQueen’s car chase and Mamet’s script—while Miller’s Crossing (1990) flops with a C. Antonioni’s Blow Up (1967) outshines De Palma’s Blowout (1981), proving originality trumps imitation in crime cinema. [Automatically generated summary]
So I was asking myself whether for this week's bonus video I wanted to watch a leftist on TikTok or drive a screwdriver into the front of my forehead and scoop out my brains.
And then I decided instead let's rate some movies.
Let's rank some movies.
And this time we're going to look at some thrillers, crime movies, noir movies, one of my favorite genres.
Now I want to make it really, really clear.
Because last time I did some Westerns and they put it out with a caption that said, this is Clavin's list of Westerns.
I don't choose these movies.
They shoot these movies at me.
My producer Tom, he won't give me his last name because he was afraid I'll find out where he lives.
But my producer Tom gives me the movies.
So I didn't choose these movies.
I'm just ranking them as they show them to me in real time.
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All right, let's look at these movies.
Now on a scale of one to ten, ten being positive.
I'll sure you at least an A. Zodiac 2007.
It is a very long but excellent movie.
I thought it is a David Fincher written film.
This is a really good cast, Jake Gillingholm, Mark Buffalo, Robert Downey Jr., who is great in it.
And it is the true story, based on the true story of the Zodiac killer.
And it happened in the early 60s and 70s.
One of the things I like about it is when you see the technology then and how hard it was for places to, for police officers to link up with each other across state lines, you see why the Zodiac was able to elude them.
Good film.
I will give it.
I'm going to go with, I want to deflate these things.
I don't want to give everything an S, but I will give that an A. That's a really good film.
As far back as I can remember, I always wanted to be a gangster.
Goodfellas, 1990, one of my favorite films.
Just a really, the theme of the film is so original.
It is that being a mobster is fun, and that's why people do it, which I just think is really honest.
Obviously, it's Martin Scorsese and stars Ray Liotta, Robert De Niro, and Joe Pesci.
I got to give that an S. That's one of the great films.
Also have to give an S to the French Connection 1971 with the late, great Gene Hackman.
What's the next copy of the city?
25th Avenue.
That movie is, what can you call it?
It's iconic.
It's just so much in it has been imitated.
My friends and I are making a very large withdrawal from this bank.
Anybody gets in our way gets a bullet in the brain.
Inside Man, that's 2006.
That's a Denzel Washington picture.
And is that Spikely?
Yeah, it is Spikely.
Not a huge Spikely fan.
These people talk too much.
This is one of his better films.
I liked it.
I will give it a B.
This is very, very good, right?
So we want to, I'm deflating the grade system here to keep it honest, but it is a very good film, really good crime film, a great performance by Denzel as always.
I guess it's always terrific.
And smart.
And it doesn't have as much lecturing as a lot of Spike Lee's film.
I really dislike that in his film.
You sent two to do Cody and they blew it.
I paid you half.
I want it back.
To Live and Die in LA, 1985.
It's based on a novel and it's by William Friedman.
I did not really realize it was based on a novel, which I have never read.
One of the few books that I haven't read by Gerald Petervich.
I'm going to give this a B2.
I like the cast.
Willem Defoe is in it.
John Toturo is in it, Dean Stockwell.
And I remember it quite well.
As a matter of fact, you and Michael O'Hara have kissed each other, haven't you?
To name one occasion, you were seen in the aquarium of this city kissing each other.
Do you deny that?
The lady from Shanghai, Definite Expo.
That's 1947.
That's Orson Welles.
Just an amazing, another iconic film.
You have to call it that.
It's just got stuff in it that has been used a hundred times.
It is Orson Welles at his hammy best.
He is just fantastic in it.
Rita Hayworth is beautiful, Femme Fatal, just really a terrific film.
If you haven't seen this film, I really recommend it.
I mean, it's really a shame that people don't watch these old movies because some of them are just great.
It's the same thing.
But you know what?
I'm pretty tired of both of us.
Sleep Solutions00:02:19
You're thinking, did he fire six shots or only five?
Now to tell you the truth, I've ridden myself in all this excitement.
Dirty Harry, 1971, Clint Eastwood, got to give that an S as well.
These are really the top films, so it's kind of hard not to give an S because Dirty Harry is just, you know, the thing about Dirty Harry that people forget, this is directed by Don Siegel, is it came out high crime.
You weren't allowed to mention it was high crime because a lot of the criminals were black.
And so Dirty Harry actually kind of broke the rules, like very Trumpian thing to do, to come out and just say, no, a lot of crime is happening.
I don't care what color you are.
Made a lot of gestures to make sure it wasn't actually racist, but still told the truth that people weren't allowed to see.
It's Clint Eastwood playing Clin Eastwood, which is great.
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Blow Up, Blowout: Comparisons00:05:49
I realize you can change the people, change the scenery, but you can't change your own rotten self.
The talented Mr. Ripley, 1999.
I really love this film.
This movie, this story, which is Patricia Highsmith, has been made a number of times.
This is the best time.
And one of the things about Patricia Highsmith is she was gay and she wrote a lot about her villain Ripley is a repressed gay person.
He is gay, but he doesn't quite face it and that's where the violence comes from.
And this is the best.
It's a really, really good film.
Can I call it an S film?
This is by Anthony Miguela.
Can I call it an S film?
I call it an A film.
I just think it's an excellent, excellent movie.
Everybody's good at it.
Jude Law, Wynneth Paltrow, who I have to admit, despite her personality, I'm deeply in love with.
Everything in it works, and it's really deep and rich and captures the Patricia Highsmith.
The only movie of her work that is anywhere near it is Strangers Untrained by Alfred Hischbach.
I'll do what I have to do to protect Leo.
I'm asking you politely.
Leave him alone.
I don't have to ask.
If I told him about our little dance last night, you'll pull a pretty soon dry up.
So would yours on a life being threatened.
And I don't know if I've been taken for a sucker.
Miller's Crossing, 1990, one of my least favorite Cone Brothers crime films.
It's got some really good stuff in it, but it's not terrific.
It goes on too long.
It doesn't really hold together.
I love their crime films.
I love the Cone Brothers crime films.
In fact, it's the films of theirs that I, besides Hail Caesars, the films I like of theirs the best.
This I'll give it.
I hate to give it a C, but I go.
It's a C. Were it more?
And you, the dedication I was led to believe.
You believe what you want.
You work your side of the street, and I'll work mine.
Bullet, 1968, another iconic film, Steve McQueen.
If you've never seen Steve McQueen, you want to see what Cruel looked like when I was a boy and still looks like.
He is one of the few movie stars who was cruel in his time, who remains cool today.
Bogart, Steve McQueen, Paul Newman in a lot of his films, but just a terrific film.
Invented, it didn't invent the car chasers.
It's a car chase in high Sierra.
There are plenty of car chasers, but it invented the modern car chase.
And it was so, I mean, now it looks silly because of what they can do, but in its time, it was very thrilling, but it's still fun to watch.
Also, it was the first time that the word BS was spoken on a screen simultaneously with a film called Boom, which was based, a Richard Burton, Elizabeth Taylor movie based on a Tennessee Williams film that came out, I think, the same year.
And Elizabeth Taylor said it under the clatter of falling silverware.
But in Bullet, he really says it to Robert Vaughan, the corrupt politician.
And it was a great moment.
It's a really good film.
Let's see what that's called.
Okay.
All right, get away from those alarms.
Dog Day Afternoon, 1975.
A lot of people love it to death.
I really think it's good, but it's not as, it's a little too weird for me, I think.
You know, that's the bank one with Al Pacino, who is great in it.
But it's a good film.
It's an A film.
And really entertaining, really fun to watch.
I've got that guy that wants to get a sex change operation and takes over a bank.
It's based on a true story.
I don't know what's going to kill anybody.
Erica!
Erica!
You talk to me like that in front of my son, you and your family.
The Untouchables 1987 David Mammet script, I think I have to give that an S.
That film has grown on me.
When I saw it, I thought it was good.
But over the years, I've come to think it's great.
And it's great because it has David Mammoth's intelligence and, of course, Sean Connery.
Brian DePama, not one of my favorite directors, but this is his greatest film, I think.
I don't think he's ever made a better one anyway.
Costner's great in it, and Sean Connery just really tears the place apart.
And De Niro is one of his most hammy, but also best performances.
I give that an S.
It's a classic film.
And when I interviewed Mamet, he complained about the ending, but the ending is great.
Another time, I'll tell you a funny story about the ending.
I wrote the ending before the movie came out in a novel I was writing under a pseudonym and then went to the theater to celebrate finishing the novel.
And there was my ending on the screen.
And I was like, oh, no, he stole my ending without knowing.
Almost exactly the same amazing shootout on a train station.
And then the last two are blowout and blowup.
Blow Up is a terrific film.
Michelangelo Antonioni, one of the big directors, he's not a great director as far as I'm concerned, but this is a great movie.
And it's got David Hemming in it, and it's so of its time that it might make you laugh.
It's so cool in Hip and 60s, you know, the 1960s and the girls and the indifference and the sort of just absolute, you know, indifference towards sex and about sex and all that stuff.
But it's a really good film and really smart.
Blowout is Brian DePama's 1981 imitation of it with John Travolta.
And it's watchable.
You know, it's a watchable film.
But I really disliked Brian DePama's early career where all he did was make Hitchcock's pictures over and over again and make them worse than they had been.
And for some reason, I have never understood why.
Those films got these fantastic reviews when they were so obviously bad rip-offs.