Ben Shapiro and Andrew Clavin play a chaotic game attributing absurd quotes—like "I'd rather be making love to my wife while my children are asleep"—to Joe Biden, who they joke sounds like the source of everything from Velcro (1948) to jet engines (1930s). Clavin insists Biden’s age (born 1942) blurs history, mislabeling FDR’s War Production Board as his own, while Shapiro counters with facts like Tupperware (1946) predating him. The segment spirals into a mix of misattributions, sports betting ads, and the hosts’ shared frustration over Biden’s perceived timelessness, leaving listeners questioning whether he’s older than dirt—or just the punchline. [Automatically generated summary]
All right, we are here with the ever-popular annual Did Joe Biden Say It contest where I read quotes off the page that I've been sent and we try and figure out if Joe Biden actually said it.
This is brought to you by mybookie.com.
All right, here is quote number one.
You cannot go to a 7-Eleven or a Dunkin' Donuts unless you have a slight Indian accent.
I'm not joking.
Well, I actually know this one.
I remember Joe Biden actually did say this.
So I will say, yes, that is Joe Biden.
I guess that's the good signal, right?
That's the good one.
All right, because the bad one is I think I just dropped through the floor.
It's just a trapdoor we built into the set here.
The second one is now is the time to heed the timeless advice from Teddy Roosevelt.
Speak softly and carry a big stick.
I promise you the president has a big stick.
Yeah, this is another one of these kind of race-based comments from Joe.
That was Joe Biden, all right.
Ah, there we go.
All right.
Number three, I'd rather be at home making love to my wife while my children are asleep.
I think that's me.
No, I think I said that, right?
Ah, this is Joe Biden.
All right.
These are all Joe Biden, aren't they?
Because they're all really stupid.
All right.
Number four, you know, there's a, during World War II, you know, where Roosevelt came up with a thing that you know was totally different than the, it's called, he called it the, you know, the World War II.
He had the war, the war production board.
That's got to be Biden, right?
It has to, it just, yeah, it sounds exactly like him.
Justice will bend toward, we need to be the ones that get out there and bend to justice, vote for me, and we'll try.
That also sounds like Biden, but it also sounds a little like Obama.
I don't know.
Let's say no.
Let's say that's Obama.
Ah, I was right.
All right.
Have you seen me debate before?
There's not even, well, who can say at this point?
Anyway, I want to introduce you to my wife, Joe Biden's husband.
That is definitely Joe Biden.
I remember that too.
That's not Joe Biden.
I want to introduce you to my wife, Joe Biden's husband.
That was Biden, wasn't it?
Folks, I can tell you I've known eight presidents, three of them intimately.
I think that was Marilyn Monroe, wasn't it?
That was Joe Biden.
Older Than Biden00:12:41
Listen, I love women in the workplace.
Most of them have been much better than me at my job.
My dad always used to say, Joey, if you can't beat them, join them.
That's got to be Biden.
Yeah.
That's not Biden?
Oh, my gosh.
This is terrible.
This is why I never went on Jeopardy.
Because I don't know anything.
That's the answer.
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Nine, the American people are smarter than I think.
Biden?
Yes, that's Biden?
All right.
I'm just not getting anything.
It's like anything that is stupid and inarticulate.
I just naturally think it's Joe Biden.
I put together, if you add a little like sort of vague communism, that would make it certain.
I put together a list of some of the most qualified women for any job, let alone for this job.
I've got a long list.
That is Joe Biden, yes.
This is ridiculous.
I'm sorry.
Hell, I might be president now if it weren't for the fact I said I had an uncle who was a coal miner.
Turns out I didn't have anybody in the coal mines.
You know what I mean?
I tried that crap.
It didn't work.
I have no idea who that is, but I'll say that was Joe Biden.
All right.
The 21st century will belong to America because of the green stuff.
Well, that has to be a Democrat because who else thinks he can buy America?
But, oh, maybe he means the green stuff, like the leaves and things like that.
Maybe it's AOC.
I don't think that is.
That's not Joe Biden.
Yeah, there we go.
Shotguns are much more peaceful than handguns.
You ever point a shotgun at somebody, I have.
Wow.
I mean, that may, that's an incredibly stupid thing to say.
So it should be Biden, but I'm going to say it's not Joe Biden.
Yeah, there we go.
All right, now we're on a roll.
The good news is the bad news.
The good news, the bad news.
People know me.
The good news is people know me.
That sounds like Joe Biden.
All right.
No one ever doubts that I mean what I say.
The problem is I sometimes say all that I mean.
Yeah, that's Joe Biden, too.
All right.
We kind of sank down there in the middle, but we came back.
We had a big comeback in the end.
So this is the, we'll be doing this every, what, like every day, probably.
We can do this every day.
He says so many stupid things.
But today, we only did it okay.
Welcome.
I'm Andrew Clavin.
I'm here with the artist formerly known as Ben Shapiro.
We're here to play the classic game.
There are very few classic games.
There's Jeopardy, there's Monopoly, and it's guess whether this invention is older or younger than Joe Biden.
Velcro.
Velcro, I'm going to guess that Velcro is actually older than Joe Biden.
Well, if Drew says it's older than Joe Biden, I'll go with Drew, considering Drew has a distinct advantage in this particular game.
I mean, Drew's only about 12 years younger, I think, than Joe Biden, whereas I am fully 42 years younger than Joe Biden.
So in other words, if Andrew Clavin remembers a thing being invented, then it is now obviously younger than Joe Biden.
Whereas for me, anything that happened before I was born is the distant past.
So I'll go with that.
I don't remember who Joe Biden is anymore.
Well, conveniently enough, for you, he can't remember who it went with anything anymore.
So I'm going to go Velcro is older than Joe Biden.
Oh, my God.
That really sticks.
Oh, sorry.
An electron microscope.
I'm going to say that's older than Biden.
You know, it's a tough one because the funny thing is, Biden was born in 1942, and almost all great inventions came before 1942.
After that, I from the computer, there's nothing.
All right, on that basis, I'll side with Ben on this, that that is older than Joe Biden.
Oh, that's definitely, well, let's see, the jet engine.
That has got to be younger than Joe Biden.
I will assume that an early iteration of the jet engine, just to make this interesting, I'll say that it's older than Joe Biden because maybe it was invented sometime during World War II in a factory somewhere.
This is tough, you know, because he kind of disappears into the dark, deep, backward and abysm of time.
You know, this is sort of like this misty, you can go up to about 1965, and then after that, it's just kind of like mist and Joe Biden.
That's all there is.
Ooh.
Water, okay, waterproof diapers, I'm definitely going to say are younger than Joe Biden because even when I was a little kid, my parents were still using non-disposable diapers.
So the possibility of a waterproof disposable diaper, I'm going to go that that's younger than Biden.
That has to be right because I remember cloth diapers.
That is really tough.
Was there ever, when was cat litter invented?
I'm going to say that cat litter is older than Joe Biden.
And just for the tick of it, I'm just taking it.
I'm going to say that Joe Biden is older than cat litter.
Oh my God.
I'm hammering you at this game, dude.
You know, Joe Biden is probably older than some cat litter that's still in use.
Yeah, you're killing me here.
You're killing me.
And I don't know what to say.
It's just because my memory basically now stops at about 4.30.
For you, everything is very, I would say, close up because you can remember a lot of these things happening.
For me, it's like looking through the wrong end of a binocular.
So it's sort of through the telescope of time.
I'm getting a clearer picture here.
Electric guitar.
Honestly, this is going to be close to contemporaneous with Biden's birth, right?
Biden is 42.
So I feel like the electric guitar probably came into use around like 49 or something, but I could be completely messing this up.
So I'm going to say that Biden is older than the electric guitar.
Yeah, that has to be right, doesn't it?
When can you even think of an electric guitar before the 50s?
I mean, yeah, so definitely.
I agree with that.
1941.
Okay, so I said virtually contemporaneous, right?
I was close.
I was on it, but yeah.
All right, we'll be back to this exciting contest in just a moment, but here's something that's definitely younger than Joe Biden.
It's my bookie, and it is betting season at my bookie.
Nothing makes an event more exciting than putting some money on it.
And with the NFL season in full swing, it's a great time to get in on the action.
Sometimes you have a gut feeling about a matchup, and sometimes you're just betting on your team because they're your team, regardless whether you've been betting for years or you're ready to play for the first time.
MyBookie is your go-to this season.
With the biggest online selection of bets and props, they've made it simple to win and easy to withdraw your cash.
Head over to MyBookie to create an account.
Just use the promo code Clavin to claim your 100% deposit match all the way up to $1,000.
That means if you put $100 in, they'll give you another $100.
It's an easy way to jumpstart your bankroll.
NFL, NBA, and MLB, they even let you bet on Madden 21 Sims for all you gamers out there and everything else.
They've got it all on tap, and it's never too late to get started on your winning season only at MyBookie.
Oh, God, canned beer.
Canned beer is older than Joe Biden.
I actually have some canned beer, I think, that's older than Joe Biden, so I'm going to say that it's older than Joe Biden.
Totally agree.
I also agree that that is older than Joe Biden.
I just seem to have memories of like old movies in which somebody will pop the top of a can.
Oh, Silly Putty's World War II invention.
So I'm going to say that that's, the only question is, early World War II or late World War II.
So again, you're now operating within like a two-year radius of Joe Biden's birth here.
I'll say that it's older than Biden.
It's slightly older than Biden.
Well, since I have to make up ground here against Ben, I'm going to just have to say that it's on the other side of the divide.
Because I think I remember Joe Biden taking wall paintings off with the Silly Putty and reproducing it.
So I think that I'll say the opposite.
I'll say that Joe Biden is older.
You said he's younger than Silly Putty.
I said he's younger than Silly Putty, yep.
All right, I'll say he's older than Silly Putty.
Yeah.
It's kind of silly.
I know.
I literally described how it was invented and during what period.
Okay.
I get at least half credit for the last two questions.
I'm desperate now.
I need these points.
Come on.
Okay.
Oh, my God.
When did they first invent sugar packets?
I'm going to just guess there that Joe Biden is older than sugar packets.
So my understanding is, again, this is a World War II invention.
A lot of paper plates and dishes were invented during World War II for mass disposal by the Army.
Again, it's contemporaneous, but I'll say that sugar packets are older than Biden.
Oh, man, I'm totally wrong on that one.
WD-40.
I've had a streak of missing these.
I'm going to say that Biden is older than WD-40.
Yes, that almost has to be right.
Yes.
Because before that, there was no even point of having WD-40.
Oh, wow.
Tupperware.
See, now that's going to be a close one, I'll bet.
But I'm going to say that Biden is older than Tupperware.
I'm going to agree with that.
When did plastic become like a big thing?
I assume plastic became a big thing in like the late 50s, early 60s.
So I'll go ahead and say that Tupperware is younger than Biden.
Biden's older than Tupperware.
Helicopters.
Well, I mean, are we talking about the design of helicopters by Leonardo da Vinci or are we talking about the actual creation of a successful helicopter?
Okay.
First flight helicopter.
I'm going to say Biden's older than helicopters.
Let's see.
Now, I'm going to say helicopters are older than Biden.
Yeah.
I hope you're keeping score here.
Escalators.
Escalators are older than Joe Biden.
I mean, first of all, we all know that escalators were not truly invented until Donald Trump came down one.
Just moments before.
They didn't exist until that moment in time, contemporaneously with him declaring for the presidency the escalator was invented and made glorious.
Yeah, I'll say that.
I'll say escalators are older than Biden.
You know why I knew that?
Because they had them in the tube in London, and they obviously had been there since the beginning of time.
Like Shakespeare's footprints are on the escalators.
I said Biden's older than Superglue.
Yeah, Superglue strikes me as one of those 1950s super inventions.
I would say that Biden's older than Super Glue, too.
Oh, Lordy.
Yeah, I'll say that's older than Biden.
I'll agree with that.
Ah, there, I, good, because otherwise we would have had to decide with a knife fight, which would have been ugly, I think.
Yeah, I think that, honestly, this isn't over until we decide whether he's older than dirt.