Ep. 258’s host mocks CNN’s fabricated polls—97% of Americans "hating" Trump—and contrasts his immigration crackdown (border wall, ICE expansion) with Democratic hypocrisy over sanctuary cities and selective law enforcement. The episode ties political polarization to gendered narratives, critiquing modern feminism for distorting reality while praising The Mary Tyler Moore Show’s balanced humor and 1970s cultural impact. It ends by framing Trump’s policies as a corrective to perceived left-wing double standards, leaving listeners questioning whether justice is truly blind—or just politically convenient. [Automatically generated summary]
CNN has released a new poll saying everything they hate is hated, everything they love is loved, and everything they say is true.
The latest CNN poll shows that 97% of all Americans hate Donald Trump because he yells at CNN.
And CNN is a great organization that always tells the truth according to polls by CNN.
This 97% of people who hate Trump and love CNN is exactly the same 97% as the 97% of scientists who say man-made global warming is a big problem, making it essential that everyone watch CNN before the oceans rise and sweep us all away for not watching CNN.
In other findings, the CNN poll found that 112% of all good people believe that Donald Trump is a stupid, ugly person with funny hair, whereas Wolf Blitzer's beard is very neatly trimmed and attractive.
Also, 68% of bad people like Trump more than CNN, though 87% of good people say the bad people are bad and shouldn't have been asked their stupid opinion in the first place because CNN is great, according to CNN's polls.
The CNN poll also found that some vast, really convincing number of informed and insightful television watchers think Jim Acosta is a wonderful person and CNN reporters should yell at Donald Trump even more because 93% believe Trump is bad according to a CNN poll of CNN journalists taken at CNN by CNN pollsters working for CNN.
Meanwhile, a poll taken by the New York Times, a former newspaper, has found that trust in American journalists is very high, sometimes soaring to over 2 or 3 percent among homeless people who believe they are receiving messages through their tooth fillings from the planet Zargon.
The poll also showed that people are very angry at fake news, which the New York Times defines as news that is untrue that is reported by someone other than the New York Times.
News that is untrue but is reported by the New York Times becomes true by being reported there as 87% of all people who work at the New York Times believe according to the New York Times poll.
Finally, a Wall Street Journal poll has found that 88% of all white men wearing pinstriped suits and ties believe that the Trump administration should pursue policies that benefit white men wearing pinstriped suits and ties.
90% of all millionaire businessmen polled are fearful that Trump's stringent policies against illegal immigration will hurt the nation by making it very hard for them to find people to water the lawns of their estates for slave wages.
The same 90% are also deeply concerned that their wives will be unable to find minority women to do their housework for them and will call their husbands to complain, thus interrupting 75% of businessmen having sex with 99% of women who are not their wives.
All media polls now operate within a margin of error of 50%.
Trigger warning, I'm Andrew Clavin and this is the Andrew Clavin Show.
I'm the hunky donkey.
Life is tickety boo.
Birds are ringing, also singing, hunky-dunkity.
Ship-shaped hipsy-topsy, the world is zippity zing.
It's a wonderful day.
Hoorah, hooray!
It makes me want to sing.
Oh, hoorah, hooray!
Oh, hooray, hurrah.
Not just to re-hurrah but zippity-duda, I think.
The Trump train keeps rolling on, man.
I'm getting ready to get on that Trump train.
Like, I'm almost, I'm tired.
Are you tired of winning?
I'm getting a little tired.
I have so much winning.
Please, Mr. President, we're getting tired of winning.
So, first of all, well done, JA, on the illustrated, our second illustrated opening, and Cynthia Angulo did the drawings.
Excellent stuff.
So this is just, I don't know, this is insane.
I mean, the guy, the one thing you have to say is like, now he says he's going to build a wall.
Who heard that?
Who saw that coming, right?
I mean, who would ever have thought, listening to Trump during the campaign, that he was going to build a wall on the border?
I'm shocked.
I am shocked.
Who knew that he was going to do that?
So this is really interesting stuff because, well, let's follow it.
Let's follow the thought along.
Let's start.
Trump signed some executive orders about immigration yesterday.
And this was the big news, Trump on immigration.
So here is, give me cut two on part of these orders.
Here's a brief summary of what actions are contained in my executive orders.
The Secretary of Homeland Security, working with myself and my staff, will begin immediate construction of a border wall.
So badly needed.
You folks know how badly needed it is.
As a help, but very badly needed.
This will also help Mexico by deterring illegal immigration from Central America and by disrupting violent cartel networks.
As I've said repeatedly to the country, we are going to get the bad ones out, the criminals and the drug deals and gangs and gang members and cartel leaders.
The day is over when they can stay in our country and wreak havoc.
We are going to get them out and we're going to get them out fast.
And John Kelly is going to lead that way.
Okay, he's talking now at Homeland Security and they're loving it.
Homeland Security.
I mean, that's what they're here for.
They're here to protect people.
They want to be able to give them the tools to protect people.
They're tired of being told not to do it.
And listen, there are all kinds of nits to pick about this.
Obviously, he can't sign an executive order funding the wall, which is going to cost billions of dollars.
He's going to need Congress to pay to fund the wall, and then he says he's going to get Mexico to pay for it.
Mexico, the Mexican president, has now, as we go on air, has canceled his trip to meet with Trump.
And I believe Mexican troops are massing on the border, planning an invasion.
I mean, because like, really, who cares the Mexican president comes over or not?
But, you know, he's saying, and the peso is tumbling and all this stuff.
So he's caused a bit of trouble.
But listen, all the nits, and the fact that a lot of illegal immigrants who come in now come in through visas.
They don't come across the border.
But, but even if it's not just symbolic, but even if it were just symbolic, it's an important symbol because this has been disgraceful.
You can say that the laws of the land should be anything you want them to be.
The laws against controlling immigration, you know, you can say they should be as stringent or as lax as you want them to be.
But the fact is, the fact is, the previous administration and the left are against American borders per se.
They are against America being defined and being our country because they're globalists, because they think, and globalism doesn't just mean that everybody is created equal.
It means those countries that are powerful and wealthy because of their policies and their ideas have to give that wealth, spread that wealth to the rest of the world by opening their borders and letting anybody in.
It's absurd.
A country is defined by its borders.
Look at a map.
How do you know where France is, you know, because of the borderlines?
That's how you know.
All right, so Trump goes on.
He has more.
This is cut three.
He has more orders, executive orders that he's signing.
Our order also does the following.
Ends the policy of catch and release at the border.
Requires other countries to take back their criminals.
They will take them back.
Cracks down on sanctuary cities.
Empowers ICE officers to target and remove those who pose a threat to public safety.
Calls for the hiring of another 5,000 Border Patrol officers.
Calls for the tripling, the number of ICE officers.
And you both do an incredible job, but you need help.
You need more.
Creates an Office of Homeland Security dedicated to supporting the victims of illegal immigrant crime.
Okay, now this is important.
Now he's going on to talk about the victims of illegal immigrant crime.
And this is important because what he's doing is he's reversing the narrative.
Okay, and we talk a lot about the narrative.
The narrative is really important, is how this story is being played.
And Trump, one of his big strengths is that he understands the narrative in ways that Republicans don't.
Republicans are always dealing with the facts.
Republicans are defined by a drone standing up, you know, I mean a human drone standing up in the Senate with a chart pointing to the facts and the figures because he thinks that's the story.
Those may be the facts, but that's not the story.
Trump is very good at telling the story.
Now, let's see how this plays out because de Blasio, along with Mayor de Blasio of New York, a socialist, along with other mayors of so-called sanctuary cities, cities where they don't necessarily, when they arrest you and they find out you're an illegal immigrant, they don't call ICE, they don't send you back.
De Blasio explains why this policy is good for New York and why he's going to defy Donald Trump.
So this is number seven.
This is about human beings, families that came here.
I believe people should follow the law.
I don't think people should violate our borders.
But let's face it, this has been for hundreds of years a challenge for this country, right?
You've got people here now.
And what are we going to do with 11 or 12 million people in our midst?
If someone's truly a violent criminal, absolutely they should be deported.
If they're a law-abiding person or they've done the very minor things that even people we know might have done, we can't see them deported and families torn apart.
Correct me if I'm wrong.
It sounds like New York City gets $8.8 billion in federal funds and that there are something like $156 million at stake here if President Trump decides to pull federal funds from New York City.
What would that do to you in New York City?
Well, here's the amazing thing about the executive order.
First of all, we think it's very susceptible to legal challenge.
There's some real contradictions and vagabonds.
They can't pull that money from New York.
Well, again, if they make an attempt to pull that money, it would be from the NYPD.
It would be from security funding for the NYPD to fight terrorism and to protect foreign leaders who come to New York City to go to the U.N. If an attempt is made to do that, we will go to court immediately for an injunction to stop it.
Okay, so he's going to fight.
You know, Trump is saying that if they won't stop being sanctuary cities, he's going to withhold federal funds.
So he's saying we're going to go to court.
The Democrats are once again fighting the federal government, just as they did during segregation days when the federal government said you've got to desegregate your schools.
They stood in the schoolhouse door, said no way.
You know, the government, ultimately, the feds had to send troops.
This is a good fight for conservatives, by the way, either way, either way.
And I'll tell you why.
Because on the one hand, you've got Donald Trump fighting for the rule of law and for borders, which we need.
So that's good.
On the other hand, he's forced Democrats into the position of fighting for local control.
They are now fighting for states' rights and individual municipality rights, which we also support.
So we win either way.
You know, it doesn't really matter how this fight goes.
We've got them doing our job for us.
So it's really a good political fight.
Okay, and now remember, so he, de Blasio is putting this in terms of tearing families apart.
And this has been the way they have kept anything from getting done.
Remember, the issue is not what you believe on immigration.
That's part of the issue.
But the issue is the fact that nothing has been done.
This problem is really bugging people and bugging people, especially in these areas where there's crime and they're losing their authority over their own land.
And nothing gets done.
Nothing gets done.
So now something is happening.
Okay, whether you disagree or not, it's a disgrace that nothing gets done.
And that's, you know, as a friend of mine says, that's not because Washington is broken.
That's because Washington works, but it works for Washington.
If you have two groups that are making money, you know, raising funds for and against immigration, neither of them wants that issue to be resolved because that's where their money is coming from.
And that's how Washington works.
That's how Washington gets into this kind of stalemate.
Okay, so Trump now, now remember, there are things that Trump didn't do.
He didn't rescind Obama's executive action about what they call dreamers.
I hate that phrase, but it's kids who have been brought over illegally, but they had no choice.
Now they're here, they're law-abiding, they're in school, they're allowed to reapply for a visa every two years, I think it is.
And Obama, you know, let that continue.
And Trump hasn't done anything about that because he loses control of the narrative if there are mass deportations, if there are children pulled out of mothers' arms and people are weeping at the border, then he loses control of the narrative.
But what he's doing is he's turning the narrative onto the victims of crime who can't get any justice.
So that is Trump number four, still talking before Homeland.
Pundits talk about how enforcing immigration laws can separate illegal immigrant families.
But the families they don't talk about are the families of Americans, forever separated from the people they love.
They don't talk about that ever.
As your president, I have no higher duty than to protect the lives of the American people.
First, these families lost their loved ones.
Then they endured a system that ignored them while at the same time constantly rewarding those who broke the law.
For these families, it's been one injustice after another.
But that all turns around beginning today.
I mean, this is great Trumpian stuff.
This is what Ben would call good Trump because he is just taking control of this narrative and saying, you know, first, it's not about these people who come over.
And, you know, I know I have sympathy for them.
And they keep calling them immigrants.
And we all have sympathy for immigrants because we all come from immigrants, no matter who we are.
So we all have sympathy for immigrants.
But remember, our ancestors came over on these ships into places where they were then inspected.
They had to have papers.
They had to have health checks.
Breaking Law Enforcement Changes00:05:20
These guys are sneaking in.
They're breaking the law.
And it's not that I'm not sympathetic to a lot of them.
I know a lot of them are just doing what's best for their family.
But Trump is making the point that when you have no borders, anybody can come in.
And they don't have to be Mexicans.
It can be some guy named Ahmed strapped with dynamite who says, yes, I'm a Mexican.
Here I am.
I'm here to, yes, of course, I'm here to, by Allah, I am here for the Mexicans.
You know, so now he's forced guys like De Blasio to make their case in another way.
And we're going to deal with that in just a second because it's really important.
But I have to say goodbye to our friends on Facebook and YouTube.
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So now Trump says the real issue is the victims of crime.
And now listen to de Blasio as he makes his case that they've got this covered in New York.
This is on crimes.
Here's a list right here of 170 offenses that if someone is undocumented, they commit this offense, we will work with ICE and they will be deported.
Are those low-level offenses?
No, these are serious crimes.
These are serious crimes, violent crimes, even possession of a weapon, for example, of any kind.
170 offenses that if an undocumented person commits, that triggers by New York City law cooperation with ICE for deportation.
How about theft?
Well, here's the example.
Theft, violent, you know, any theft involving a weapon.
Just a regular low-level crime.
There are very low-level crimes.
For example, small amounts of marijuana possession.
Yeah.
Going through a stoplight that doesn't cause any damage to anyone.
Those are areas where we will not work to see someone deported.
Why?
Because these are members of a family in our community, so it's the breadwinner in that family.
So you deport the breadwinner, and the rest of the family, including the children, are left without anyone.
Okay, so now what de Blasio is now forced into the position of saying he is going to decide, his city is going to decide which laws get enforced.
And of course, anybody, the point is, if you're an illegal immigrant and you run a stop sign, of course you haven't done anything evil in running a stop sign.
We all run stop signs, but you're already here illegally.
You're already breaking the law.
And so what the Democrats are saying and what they are always saying is that the rule of law, it only applies to right-wingers.
They are so good, they are so decent, so charitable, so merciful that they can decide which laws are enacted.
Now, listen, I actually believe in a certain amount of leeway in the law.
We all really believe in that.
And it is, in fact, a very Christian principle.
I mean, Jesus is always being said, well, the law says you can't heal on Saturdays because it's the Sabbath, and Jesus will say, like, dude, I'm healing people, you know, leave me alone.
I don't think he said it in exactly those words, but it was something like that.
You know, he who is without sin casts the first.
So this is a very, very Western concept, the concept that the law has wiggle room.
But it's different.
It's different to say that the law has wiggle room and you give a cop a little bit of leeway to say, you know what, I know you're illegal immigrant, but I'm letting you go.
Or if you help me with this case, I'll make sure you don't get deported.
It's very different than to have a city, a municipality, say, we are not going to obey the law.
But this is everything.
Here's the most shocking thing that was said yesterday that I didn't quite realize until it came out of Trump's mouth.
Listen to this last Trump quote.
It's number one, cut number one.
For too long, your officers and agents haven't been allowed to properly do their jobs.
You know that, right?
Do you know that?
Absolutely.
But that's all about to change.
And I'm very happy about it, and you're very happy about it.
From here on out, I'm asking all of you to enforce the laws of the United States of America.
They will be enforced and enforced strongly.
Because people are surprised to hear that we do not need new laws.
We will work within the existing system and framework.
We are going to restore the rule of law in the United States.
That is shocking.
That is shocking that he can essentially do what he wants on immigration without passing new laws because the laws are in place.
I mean, that is an amazing statement, that everything that people have complaining about, all the, you know, immigration has never been my biggest worry about America.
It's always been about regulation and debt and things like that because I think those are the things that secretly sap liberty while nobody's paying any attention.
But the fact that the laws are already there and basically the president and the feds have decided, well, we don't like them.
We don't like them.
The laws don't apply to us.
And you can now see this everywhere in the left's hysteria.
You saw it at the inaugural where they're breaking windows and throwing things at people.
Mary's Reaction00:17:32
Let me read one woman's reaction.
This is a woman who wrote a I forgot to write down her name.
I'm sorry about that.
But she wrote an essay yesterday in the Wall Street Journal about what happened to her as she was going out to one of the inaugural balls.
She says, it happened Friday night in the heart of gentrifying Washington.
I was en route to an inaugural ball, but nearly every road in D.C. seemed to be barricaded, my Uber driver said.
So I got out of the car to walk, although, like Cinderella, I was late and without an overcoat.
The night was chilly, and I moved swiftly, my ball gown billowing and swaying with each step.
I'm sorry I didn't write down her name because she's a good writer.
As I passed an apartment building, someone started yelling, really yelling out an open window, go back to where you came from.
And then I found myself covered in raw egg.
So you've got this lady in her Cinderella dress going to the ball, and she's getting hit by raw gadget.
The snap of eggshells breaking stunned me.
Slimy, sticky yolk covered my face, dripped down my hair, and saturated my dress.
I froze.
Emily Post is silent on the proper way for a lady in a ball gown to respond to an aerial assault.
I had to wing it.
First, I yelled back.
I had spent six years living here.
I shouted, and Washington was as much my city as the place I now call home.
But then I too began to crack, and the egg yolk on my face mixed with tears.
Who could blame her?
Somehow, it might have been the crying and hollering, my predicament captured the attention of a more casually attired fairy god couple.
These kind people must have been liberal Democrats given where they confessed to working as they helped me.
Nonetheless, they asked if I was all right, gently took my arm, and led me to their nearby apartment to clean off.
Then they let me out the back door.
Here's her reaction.
At best, I had been a lukewarm and silent Trump supporter, a Goldwater Reagan, George W. Bush girl, who had decided to attend the ball mostly for the opportunity to wear a fancy dress.
But when my heels hit the sidewalk that second time, I committed.
I would now back President Trump.
Well, yeah, of course.
I mean, you know, you know, this is happening all over.
You know, you see the attacks on Baron Trump, you know, the incivility toward Melania, Chelsea, was it Chelsea Handler, you know, the talk show host, who is, you know, kind of a slob herself, you know, and she says, oh, I wouldn't have Melania on because she can barely speak English.
Why would I interview her?
She can barely speak English.
Melanie speaks, I think, three languages, four languages, you know.
I mean, it's, but who would say that?
What if I said, oh, I won't have this illegal immigrant on.
He can barely speak English.
What could he possibly have to say?
The SNL comedian, Katie Rich, saying, you know, Baron is a school shooter in the making.
You know, she was suspended from Saturday Night Live and indefinitely.
And I don't like to see, I mean, comedians are comedians.
They play the edge.
I thought it was right.
I hope they let her back on eventually.
I thought it was right to punish her.
I thought SNL has to protect its brand.
And I thought it was right to, you know, give her a slap on the wrist, basically.
I don't want to see people being, I don't want to see people being censored.
You know, Richard Spencer, here's a guy I despise.
I have openly despised Richard Spencer.
He's the alt-right guy who's hailed Trump and all this stuff.
Somebody just came up to him.
Here he is just getting punched by, a sucker punched by some guy in a hoodie so no one can see his face.
To be honest, like this is where this is where we are.
I've given conferences for ages and we'll usually expect some protesters.
They'll do silly string or something like that.
We've entered this new world where the leftist protesters, no, I'm not a neo-Nazi.
You like black people?
Well, Maria.
Neo-Nazis don't love me.
They kind of hate me, actually.
Hey, those people don't like me.
Are you like the Himster version of the Neo-Nazi?
It's Pepe's become kind of a symbol.
First of all, the guy's a coward.
He comes out of nowhere.
There's no way to defend against a punch like that.
He's got his hood on.
Nobody can see his face.
You know, a reporter for the right-wing site, Rebel, Woman, got punched by these guys.
They just think, you know, they're so righteous.
They're so righteous.
But it's not, and it's not just at this level.
And people were arguing that Spencer, who, like I said, I despise it, I despise his philosophy, that it was somehow okay.
You know, if it's a Nazi, it's okay to punch him.
Hey, I think you're a Nazi.
And I have a black belt.
How about I kick you down the street?
You know, I mean, that's ridiculous.
You know, I mean, it's absurd.
You never, a grown-up should never lift his hand against another grown-up over his words, over his ideas, unless it is literally self-defense.
This is absurd.
And it's not just at this level.
I mean, the Cato Institute, you can go on and read it.
I won't read the whole thing, but they have the top 10 ways Obama violated the Constitution.
The Chrysler bailout, the way Obamacare was implemented, and the way they kept rewriting the law on the hoof, you know, just saying, oh yeah, well, the law says this, but now it's going to say this, without going back to Congress.
The political profiling by the IRS, the IRS withholding tax-exempt status from conservative groups, the recess appointments that were made when the Congress was not in recess, the executive order I mentioned before about immigration, the assaults on free speech.
They wrote these letters to college campuses telling them they want to make sure they control, what did they call it?
Control sexual harassment, unwelcome speech, unwelcome speech they wanted to control on campus.
The Clean Power Plan with the environmental, the EPA deciding it had the right to regulate this and that, whatever it said, it felt like regulating net neutrality.
All this stuff, the EPA's cap and trade, all this stuff that Obama did that nobody complained about because it was just so righteous.
It was just so just.
When I say nobody, I mean nobody on the left complained about it.
You know, and it's like this entire world of emotion.
You know, I was thinking a lot, I've been thinking a lot about this women's march, which people are saying is going to become a movement.
And I think it's going to become a movement and move the left right out of the country.
I think it is going to be the most destructive thing imaginable.
And what I was thinking about is the fact they call it a women's march.
And I played that Ashley Judd speech, that crazy speech, where all the things that they object to are going on in their mind, except for the repeal of Roe v. Wade, which may, in fact, that could actually happen, and they oppose to that.
Okay, great.
So, you know, come out and protest that and fight for that.
But all the rest of this stuff is going on in their minds, and it's really about things that Donald Trump has said about women.
And as I pointed out earlier this week, the things that Donald Trump says about women are left-wing things.
They're the things Beyoncé says in her songs.
They're the things rappers say that they're always telling us, oh, black people have to be able to speak their culture, and they're calling women hoes and talking about slapping their girlfriends and all this stuff.
And that's perfectly fine.
But somehow one person, one person has to follow the rules and be a graceful person.
And it's Donald Trump.
So this is all stuff that's happening.
A long time ago, a long time ago, I noticed that feminism had done this very weird thing.
It had separated men and women more.
You would think these people are saying, well, men and women are all the same.
That's kind of where they started.
There's no such thing.
I remember Gloria Steinem saying this, the idea that men and women are inherently different is ridiculous.
And as a result of this, suddenly you see movies.
Remember the old movies, the old black and white movies.
Guys, were guy-like, but they weren't like, it wasn't like Arnold Schwarzenegger, who is a cartoon of a guy.
And listen, I like Schwarzenegger movies, but he's a cartoon.
You know, that's who he is.
And then you have romantic comedies that are kind of like female porn, you know, where the guy is always apologizing.
Before things can work out, the guy has to get on his knees crying and apologizing and all this stuff.
And it's like they've separated the yin and yang.
You know, when you see that symbol, the yin and yang, the whole thing is the yin and yang, the feminine and the masculine, they blend into one another.
A man who was a pure man would be a psychopath, and a woman who was a pure woman would be Ashley Judd, who was just somebody talking out of their imaginations, you know.
And so now, and this applies to politics too, because there used to be this saying that the Republicans were the daddy party and the Democrats were the mommy party.
And that is kind of the problem we have: when we have Republicans who are pointing at charts and saying all that matters is the facts, that's kind of the yang taken to its ultimate extreme, you know, because it's not all about facts.
It is about people's lives.
It is about mercy.
It is about humanity.
But then when you have the yin separated, so the Democrat Party is now living in completely in an emotionally constructed fantasy world.
And it's like they've pulled apart the two major principles of the world.
So this brings me to Mary Tyler Moore.
Finally, it brings me to Mary Tyler Moore.
Mary Tyler Moore died at 80, and I think Mary Tyler Moore was one of the great comedic actresses of her day.
I mean, she was in two, not just hit shows, but kind of definitive hit shows, hit shows that kind of defined their era.
And that doesn't happen by accident.
That's pure talent.
She gave a terrific performance in that Ordinary People, you know, where Robert Redford kind of spotted something brittle in her persona.
But now they're sort of saying, oh, she's a feminist icon.
First of all, she became a conservative.
The evidence is she became a conservative.
She supported Jimmy Carter for re-election, but while she was making these shows, Gloria Steinem came and kind of recruited her, tried to recruit her for the feminist movement.
And she said, No, I'm not a feminist, and I don't believe that women have to have a career or anything like this.
You know, I just want to make my shows.
But it's not about that.
It's not about that.
The right, and this is why the right and the left don't understand they ruin art when they get their hands on it.
She was just great at what she did.
She was great at what she did.
And her shows represented something.
They weren't propaganda.
They represented something that was going on in the lives of white upper-middle-class women at that time.
So the first show was the Dick Van Dyke show.
It was written by two friends of my father, Bill Persky and Sam Denoff.
And man, they were hilarious.
They were really funny writers.
And it always kind of reminded me of my life because they were writing about Sid Caesar, who lived around the corner from me.
And they were writing about the suburban people who lived a show business life.
And that was my life because my father was a radio star, really.
And so Mary Tyler Moore played Mary Petrie.
Was that her name?
Dick Van Dyke's wife.
And the funny thing about her was, you know, other wives on TV were kind of perfect.
Donna Reed and all the father-knows best wives and all this.
They were kind of perfect and they had everything under control.
But Mary Tyler Moore was kooky in this way that wives tend to be kooky.
I mean, she was a really good representative.
And there's, I picked, I went through some of the stuff.
I spent the time laughing because she was so funny.
I picked out this scene.
Dick Van Dyke is taking a day off.
It's his day off.
So he dresses in this ratty sweater and he comes down and his wife is obviously seething at him and he can't figure out why.
And they have a conversation.
If every husband and wife have not had a conversation like this, you know, she says, no, no, I'm not angry.
No, I'm not angry.
She's beating the eggs.
And he says, who have you gotten there?
You know, and finally, finally, he figures out that it's because he's dressed in this horrible sweater.
And here's the scene between them.
That's it.
You're angry with me because of the way I'm dressed.
Well, do you like the way you look?
He said, you look pretty yucky at that.
I'm sorry, honey.
I'll go in and change.
No, no, you don't have to change on my account.
Well, whose account am I going to change on?
I can't see how yookie I look.
Well, I can.
I mean, don't you care that I can see you looking this way?
You just excuse me.
I don't know, honey.
You always told me before, I look cute when I'm sloppy.
You don't look cute.
You look like someone who doesn't care if...
If...
Who...
who doesn't care of what well if i walked around like that i i mean if a husband really cares about well all i know is that if well if the bloom is always then and if two married people can i say what's the use And all the guys are like, because we've all had this conversation.
And the wonderful thing about it is it is this kind of male and female comedy, right?
It's the battle of the sexes or the clash of the sexes.
But you can see that they both have a point.
You know, that's what makes it such great writing, is you can see that, like, it's his day off.
He doesn't get it.
What's the problem?
But you can understand, you understand exactly what she's saying, even though she's, the way she would burst into tears was classic television.
That thing she would do is she would say, Rob, because that was his name, Rob Peach.
She was brilliant.
It was brilliant, and it was brilliant stuff about men and women.
Then in the 70s, she did this Mary Tyler Moore show, and this was a revolutionary show because women were moving into the workplace.
And this was a show in which she gets dumped, I think, by, or I can't remember whether she gets dumped or she dumps the guy she's engaged to, and she goes off to Minneapolis, St. Paul, and she goes to work in a newsroom.
Great writing on the show, terrific writing.
And the thing is, this at the time was shocking because she was a single woman, and there would be lines about the fact that she was having sex.
There was one famous line I remember where her mother on the show says to her father, don't forget to take your pill, and she says, oh yeah, I forgot to take my pill.
That was like a big deal.
You know, in the 70s, that was a big deal on TV.
So yeah, it was revolutionary, but it wasn't preaching.
It was just telling you what was happening at the time.
Now, I got to play this.
If you can't see this, you might want to go on YouTube and see it because some of it is visual.
But it was one of the funniest moments on Situation Comedy TV.
I mean, it was funny then.
I remember watching it when it came out, and I remember weeping with laughter.
I remember watching it in reruns in, you know, later, about 10 years later.
It was still funny.
I watched it this morning as I was cutting it to send in here, and I was still in tears.
Chuckles the Clown, a TV star, dies, and they go to this service, and Mary Tyler Moore and all her fellow workers, Ed Asner, and all the people who are working in her office, are going there, and they're trying not to laugh, not to make jokes about the fact that this guy is a clown.
And the pastor gets up, and he gives a speech trying to make it relevant to the life of this clown, and Mary Tyler Moore just loses it.
And she starts to—it is one of the great pieces of comic acting.
You know, there wouldn't be, I mean, things like cheers, like that Diane Long, who was so brilliant on cheers, she wouldn't have existed if it hadn't been for Mary Tyler Moore.
Even if you listen to it, it's funny because of what the pastor says.
That sound you hear is Mary Tyler Moore trying not to laugh.
Chuckles the clown brought pleasure to millions.
The characters he created will be remembered by children and adults alike.
Peter Peanut.
Mr. P. Five Pope.
Billy Banana.
And my particular favorite, Aunt Yoo-Hoo.
And not just...
Not just for the laughter that they provided.
There was always some deeper meaning to whatever Chuckles did.
Remember Mr. Fee-Fi-Foe's little catchphrase?
Remember how when his arch-rival, Senor Kaboom, hit him with a giant cucumber and knocked him down?
Mr. Fee-Fee-Fee-Fee would always pick himself up, dust himself off, and say, I hurt my fookie.
Lights a lot like that.
From time to time, we all fall down and hurt our foot.
If only we could deal with it as simply and bravely and honestly as Mr. Phoefi Foe.
And what did Chuckles ask in return?
Not much.
In his own words, a little song.
A little seltzer, Doc.
I mean, and if you think that's easy, I mean, it's just not.
It's a brilliant piece of comic acting.
She was just a terrific, terrific comic actress.
I'm sorry to see her go, and I'm sorry to see sort of people seizing her for feminist policies or any kind of political policies, because that is stuff that is just showing us who we are as men and women.
Sorry to See Her Go00:01:58
And it's just brilliant stuff.
I think she was terrific and sorry to see her go.
All right, that's it.
The Clavenless weekend begins.
It's upon us.
Who knows?
Maybe under the Trump administration, Clavenless Week will be the best thing that ever happened to us.
We'll find out.
So here we will leave us.
I always like to end with stuff I like, some musical stuff I like.
Here is my favorite, one of my favorite recordings of all time.
And just to show you that men and women can be in harmony, it's Louis Armstrong and Ella Fitzgerald singing Gershwin's.
They can't take that away from me.
I'm Andrew Clavin.
This is the Andrew Clavin Show.
I will be back on Monday.
The way you wear your hat.
The way you sip your tea.
The memory of all that.
No, no, they can't take that away from me.
The way your smile just beats.
The way you sing off keys.
The way you haunt my dream.
No, no, they can't take that away from me.
We may never, never meet again on the bumpy road to love.
Still, I'll always, always keep the memory of the way you hold your knife.