Andrew Clavin’s Stupid Party vs Evil Party skewers 2017’s political chaos—mocking Obama’s "Allahu Akbar" legacy, Trump’s Twitter dominance over Schumer’s dismissals, and Ryan’s Obamacare repeal gamble while Ford’s Mexico reversal is framed as a Trump win. Megan Kelly’s Fox-to-NBC jump is hailed as a conservative media Trojan horse, while the mailbag tackles marriage advice (rejecting feminist critiques) and Christian universalism debates. Film reviews praise La La Land’s old-school charm but mock its plot flaws, then pivot to Gears of War’s hyper-masculine action—where exaggerated machismo trumps narrative—before circling back to Obama’s lame-duck theatrics. The episode blends sharp satire with contrarian takes on media, politics, and pop culture. [Automatically generated summary]
Well, it's 2017 and you know what that means and neither do I.
Now in years past around this time, I've tried to make some New Year's resolutions.
But frankly, I just find it too discouraging when, despite my best intentions, a couple weeks go by and I find myself once again standing in a motel room dressed as a teddy bear holding a smoking gun over the body of a girl in a French maid's outfit.
So this year instead, I've decided to make other people's New Year's resolutions for them and let them kill the girl.
For instance, I think Democrats should resolve this year to recommit themselves to their core values and stand on those principles until every single voter in America is a Republican.
I think Barack Obama should resolve to bring to his post-presidential career the same sort of patriotic joie de vie and full-throated faith in Western values that made his administration a time of inspiration and uplift for everyone who believes that Allahu Akbar is just the right thing to shout before you blow up a shopping center.
I think Hillary Clinton should resolve to use her now copious spare time to take up some useful hobbies like knitting or cooking so that Bill Clinton has a welcoming home to come to after a long day of slaving away over a hot prostitute.
And now that he's done working with Hillary, I think her running mate Tim Kaine should resolve that he's finally going to get that sex change operation and find out what life is like as a man.
I think Republicans ought to resolve that now that they control the House, the Senate, and the White House, they might occasionally take some time off from rolling over for every Democrat proposal that comes down the pike.
They could just roll over for their own personal pleasure, maybe in the grass or on that nice fuzzy rug in the living room.
I think the reporters at CNN should resolve that they will continue to cover Donald Trump with a dogged, informed, and professional attitude of complete mindless hysteria, so that every time the man speaks, they run around in circles with their hands thrown up in the air, screaming in high-pitched voices until they all fall down together in a heap, exhausted and sobbing.
This will give CNN reporters something to do while the rest of us are watching the news on other channels.
And finally, I think soon-to-be President Donald Trump should resolve to commit himself fully to upholding the values of the American Constitution.
which is that crinkly brown piece of paper with the funny writing on it in the big glass case in the rotunda of the National Archives.
The one that starts with we, the... never mind.
Just try not to break anything.
Trigger warning, I'm Andrew Clavin, and this is the Andrew Clavin Show.
I'm the hunky-dunky.
Life is to give you boo.
Birds are winging, also singing, hunky-dunky-dunky.
Ship-shaped dipsy-topsy, the world is bitty zing.
It's a wonderful day.
Hoorah, hooray!
It makes me want to sing.
Oh, hurrah, hooray.
Oh, hooray, hurrah.
I missed that song.
I missed that song while I was away.
You know, it's like, I just, I wanted like my wife to just wake me up singing that song just so I could feel at home even while I was gone.
It's mailbag day.
Woohoo!
It's mailbag day.
We've got some great questions about relationships, relationship questions this time.
So you want to stay around for that, even though if you're watching on Facebook or YouTube after about 15 minutes, the floor is going to just disappear from underneath you.
We're going to drop you into darkness.
And you'll have to come to thedailywire.com to hear the rest of the show.
There, you can subscribe.
And for just a lousy eight bucks a month, you can ask your question in the mailbag next week.
All right.
So it's kind of, we had a little bit of a comedy yesterday.
I mean, there's something, there's stuff going on as we speak on Capitol Hill.
But I just want to comment on like the fact that it's really still slow news time.
You know, coming out in the new year until the inauguration, it's going to be slow news time.
And what happens in slow news time?
because you have this 24-7 news cycle.
Whatever is the most interesting story rises to the top, even if it's unimportant.
Trump's Tweets on Obamacare00:10:22
So what you had yesterday was people covering stories that didn't matter at all, like this story about the House Republicans trying to kind of neutralize this ethics committee that nobody likes, by the way, because it doesn't follow due process.
So the House Republicans went behind closed doors and tried to neutralize it.
Incredibly bad optics, because let's not forget, these are still, this is still the stupid party.
I mean, these are the stupidest people in America are sent to be Republicans.
So they always say it's the stupid party versus the evil party, and we'll see that that's exactly what's taking place.
Trump sent out a tweet, don't you have anything better to do, basically, than do this?
And they said, oh, okay, maybe we won't make ourselves look like corrupt fools just as we have a chance to drain the swamp.
So that changed.
But the real thing that's going on is the Senate went right to work trying to repeal Obamacare, which they're going to do with this obscure, I won't get into the high weeds about it, but they have this obscure budget rule that means they'll be able to do a lot of it.
They'll be able to gut the law with only a majority.
And the problem they have, of course, is that Trump has again started tweeting saying Republicans must be careful in that the Dems own the failed Obamacare disaster with its poor coverage and massive premium increases like the 116 percent hike in Arizona.
Also, deductibles are so high that it's practically useless.
Don't let the Schumer clowns out of this web.
He says massive increases of Obamacare will take place this year and Dems are to blame for the mess.
It will fall of its own weight.
Be careful.
And what he's saying, of course, is if they immediately get rid of the coverage, then all these people are going to be without coverage.
It'll be just as big a disaster as it was when they instituted the plan.
But of course, the press, which had total mercy on Obama when that was happening, will have no mercy on Trump.
So here's Paul Ryan and Mike Pancer up on Capitol Hill, and here is Ryan talking about how they're going to handle this with a mixture of legal maneuvers from the legislature, but also executive orders from Trump.
We've been saying all along we don't want to pull the rug out from people while we're replacing this law.
The point is in 2017, we don't want people to be caught with nothing.
We want to make sure that there's an orderly transition so that the rug is not pulled out from under the families who are currently struggling under Obamacare while we bring relief.
On the ACA repeal and replace, can you give detail on the executive actions that are planned?
How does that square with the complex budgetary process that's also involved?
They're hand in glove.
So we're working on the legislative process right now.
As you know, the Senate's going to be acting first next week, then the Congress will follow, which gives us the budget resolution we need to bring the legislation through while the administration works on the executive orders that they're talking about to deliver the kind of transition relief that we've been talking about.
The problem is, just remember, Obamacare has failed.
Families are hurting.
They broke the health care system.
It's a string of broken promises.
So we're going to make sure that we have an orderly transition to a better system so we can get back to what we all want, which is lower costs, health care, more choices, so that families can actually get affordable health care at a decent price with more choices, more competition, and not a costly government takeover that has really bankrupt this health care system and left families struggling.
So they're serious.
They're going to do this.
We've been picking on the Republicans for not doing this when they didn't, and they kept saying we need a president, and they are going right to work on it.
And meanwhile, of course, now remember, Obamacare is basically the only legislative triumph of this administration.
It's the only thing they did the way presidents are supposed to do things.
Everything else has just been regulations, you know, wading down business.
And of course, he did have this triumph of blowing the Middle East to smithereens.
So if we get rid of Obamacare, basically, Obama's gone.
Like, he's just a memory.
So Obama is also on Capitol Hill strategizing with Democrats on how they're going to save the plan.
And here he is talking about that.
Lame duck.
I got like said what I got.
I got like 17 days to keep that joke going, okay?
So, meanwhile, we get to see.
Well, wait, before we do that, let's just talk about this tweet thing.
Because Trump sends out these tweets.
He sent out a tweet, stop, knock it off with the ethics thing.
They knock it off with the ethics thing.
He sends out a thing, be careful, you know, because Republicans are dumb.
They're so used to being attacked by the press that it doesn't even occur to them to play the press, to play the public, because now that there's the internet, they can look good if they do the right thing.
But Trump has got his eye.
He has got his eye on the public, and he knows, you know, he's a TV star.
That's what he does.
So, like, he knows what the public is thinking, and he says, be careful about this.
The other thing he has been doing is tweeting at businesses telling them to keep their jobs in America.
So, he tweeted at General Motors to keep their, you know, they were making a car partially in Mexico.
And then there's this thing with Ford.
Now, all on the campaign trail, Ford, Trump was railing against Ford for building a new factory in Mexico.
And this is part of his greater antagonism with NAFTA, right?
Because NAFTA allows you to move your jobs to Mexico without any tariffs.
And he thinks that's just a bum deal for America.
So this was Trump on the campaign trail railing against Ford.
Ford has announced just yesterday that they're moving their small car production facilities to Mexico.
And I've been talking about this a long while, and I think that's maybe one of the reasons that we're doing so well in Ohio and Michigan and lots of other places where cars and parts are involved.
But to think that Ford is moving its small car division is a disgrace.
It's disgraceful.
It's disgraceful that our politicians allow them to get away with it.
Really is.
It used to be cars were made in Flint and you couldn't drink the water in Mexico.
Now, cars are made in Mexico and you can't drink the water in Flint.
So, okay, that was Trump on the campaign trail.
Here is Ford's CEO yesterday.
We're also encouraged by the pro-growth policies that President-elect Trump and the new Congress have indicated that they will pursue.
And we believe that these tax and regulatory reforms are critically important to boost U.S. competitiveness and, of course, drive a resurgence in American manufacturing and high-tech innovation.
Now, all of these factors, coupled with segmentation shifts that we're seeing in the marketplace and our effort, of course, to fully utilize the capacity at existing facilities, have prompted us, obviously, invest in Flat Rocks expansion and to cancel building a new plant in Mexico.
Gee, America's great again.
I'm so...
I'm tired of winning already.
Now, look, all this stuff is for show.
You know, you don't want the president, he's not the president yet, so he can say basically anything he wants, but we don't want the president bullying companies.
But these companies say what they say is that they are staying here because Trump has promised them that regulations and taxes are going to go down.
And that is a good thing.
That's a positive thing.
But there's also something else going on.
Now, listen to this.
This is the Wall Street Journal this morning.
The U.S. manufacturing sector entered the new year with the wind at its back.
Remember, manufacturing has been in the doldrums for eight years.
It finished 2016 with its strongest growth in two years.
The Institute for Supply Management on Tuesday said its purchasing managers index rose to 54.7% in December from 53.2% in November, beating economists' expectations for a more modest rise and hitting its highest level since December 2014.
So suddenly in December, everything went up.
This is a reflection.
This is a quote from the guy who oversees the ISM survey.
This is a reflection of consumer activity, and I think people are just feeling better for whatever reason about the economy.
Now, what reason could they have to feel better in December than they felt the month before?
I wonder what it is, you know?
It's like this is, you know, consumer activity is a question of attitude, and Trump is playing the attitude.
And so this stuff that he's doing, it makes me a little queasy to watch him pushing companies around because companies should be able to go wherever they want.
But he is right about fair trade.
You do want, you know, if there are tariffs on one side, it's fair to put tariffs on the other side.
And a lot of this is for show and to make consumer confidence and to build consumer confidence until he can get in there.
And then he's going to have to, you can't just go from company to company, you know, terrorizing CEOs.
You ultimately have to make this a nice place to do business.
And Obama has done everything he can to keep that from happening.
Meanwhile, we hear, we have Chuck Schumer, who is leading the opposition, making this kind of bitter little remark.
This is numbers five, cut number five, this little remark from the, well, of the Senate.
So, Mr. President, the issues facing this country are many.
We have a lot of work to do.
Creating jobs, raising incomes, making college and health care affordable, rebuilding our infrastructure, making trade laws work for the American worker, keeping Americans safe from threats of violence and terrorism, taking care of our vets.
Now, each one takes serious thought and action.
These issues are too important for mere words, are challenges too entrenched for mere tweeting.
Making America great again requires more than 140 characters per issue.
With all due respect, America cannot afford a Twitter presidency.
Yeah, except that on Twitter he's slapping this guy silly.
Debating for the Truth00:13:52
How silly?
Did you notice what he called Trump?
Mr. President.
Trump?
Trump, guess what?
And Obama was really angry about that.
Here's what he said.
Ha ha!
Have I mentioned that Obama's a lame duck?
I forgot whether I said that already.
I don't want to repeat myself.
So Schumer is so confused, so slap-silly, that he's already calling Trump Mr. President.
I think we all agree that Trump, in some sense, is certainly one of the most powerful president-elects I've ever seen.
We have to say goodbye to you if you're on Facebook or YouTube and cast you into the exterior darkness where there is great wailing and gnashing of teeth.
But come to thedailywire.com.
You can listen to the rest.
you subscribe for a lousy eight bucks a month, you can watch the whole thing and not have to bounce around like this.
Okay.
Something important.
This is a genuinely important thing that happened off Capitol Hill, and that is Megan Kelly.
Now, Megan Kelly has just taken a deal.
I don't know what the numbers are, but they've got to be huge because she was being offered, I think, $20 million to stay at Fox.
She has taken a deal to go to NBC.
And here she is making the announcement, and then I'll explain why I think it's actually very important.
So I'll be leaving Fox News at the week's end and starting a new adventure.
Joining the journalists at NBC News, who I deeply admire.
I'll be anchoring a daytime show there, along with a Sunday night news magazine.
And you'll see me there on the big nights, too, for politics and such.
I am very grateful to NBC for this opportunity.
And I am deeply thankful to Fox News for the wonderful 12 years I have had here.
I have grown up here and been given every chance a young reporter could ever ask for.
The Murdoch family has been kind and good to me at every turn, and my colleagues are like a second family to me.
So I will miss them and this show and you.
And I hope our human connection continues, albeit over a different line.
She left out the part about Roger Ailes chasing her around the desk, I think.
Actually, the way I picture it, I picture Megan Kelly in a gold bikini chained to Roger Ailes.
Is this why they never invite me to come on Fox anymore?
Maybe so.
Here's why I think this is important.
Megan Kelly is a talented personality.
And some conservatives don't like her because she's not a buy-the-book conservative.
And she's not a buy-the-book conservative.
She's got a lot of feminist claptrap that I hate.
But she's a talented person.
Here's why it might be important.
It might be important that she's going to NBC.
Remember, as powerful as Fox News is, especially because it built a studio in the head of President Obama, you know, so that he was like, it drove him crazy.
Their audience is one-tenth what the network's audience is.
Okay, so the networks have an audience that is just enormous.
It's still like 30 million people, something like that.
And if you don't think that it's powerful, it's just not true.
The networks are still very powerful.
Now there is going to be the voice on the networks, and this is almost unheard of, who at least knows what a conservative is.
Here is a woman who has met Ben Shapiro.
Here is a woman who has talked to Jonah Goldberg.
She knows what the other side is.
And listen, I have many agents who represent all the different things that I do.
One of them is one of the best agents I've ever worked with, a young woman, highly intelligent, highly intelligent.
She's really a very, very smart person.
I've been in the publishing business for a million years.
I talked to her.
I still feel like I learned something.
One day I said to her, she's a New York-based agent.
I said to her, oh, I have good news.
I think I'm going to be on the Hannity show to promote my book.
And she said, who's Hannity?
Okay.
So this is one of the most intelligent women I've ever worked with in New York City, in the media.
Who's Hannity?
To have someone like Megan Kelly who understands that there's an entire audience that NBC does not serve with its left-wing newscasts and that she can reach out to that audience and she can pull some of that audience away from Fox is going to change the news landscape.
And it may just be the beginning of corporations getting the word that there is an entire country between New York and LA that they are not speaking to.
Many of the people who are listening to Fox were going to turn in, tune in to NBC who wouldn't have done it before and are going to find out all the left-wing nonsense that they spew over there and are going to react to that.
And it could have a real effect.
It could be a bigger thing than people think it is.
I always talk about the culture, how important it is.
Conservatives are always saying, no, no, no, we've got to rush off and solve this emergency that's happening right now.
Megan Kelly going over there, you know, whether she's a conservative or not, she knows who conservatives are.
She knows what they think.
She knows part of her audience is a conservative audience that she's got to bring over to NBC.
That could have a major, major effect on news coverage in the country.
Mailbag.
What?
What?
That was.
There you go.
Come on.
That was like wow.
God, that was awful.
This is what I have to put up with here.
All right.
And by the way, you can send in live questions and we will try and capture them too.
But we have some good ones.
Mr. Clavin.
This is just Mr. Clavin, what happened to the Lord Overseer of the University?
I'm sure you get a lot of political questions, but this one is more personal and spiritual in nature.
I found that you have a wife and kids.
I was curious since you don't talk about them on the show.
I don't.
My wife doesn't actually like, she's a very private person.
What was it about your wife that made you want to marry her?
I am in a relationship with a girl.
She's very sweet.
I just can't convince myself she's the one, and I feel incredibly selfish and guilty for thinking about leaving her.
I don't have anyone who can really give me guidance here, hoping you might have some wisdom to share.
Thanks and best regards.
Your fan, Ryan.
I do.
And Ryan, I'm going to assume you are on the younger side because if you're 50 and asking me this question, you're in big trouble.
So I talk about my relationship with my wife a great deal in my memoir, The Great Good Thing, and you can read about it there because there's no secret to how you know these things.
But I'm going to tell you something you will hear nowhere else.
And the women might want to, if there are any women still listening to this program, you might want to turn this off right now because you're going to get ticked off.
But this is the truth, and men don't know it anymore because of feminism.
It is your responsibility to take care of the women in your life.
It is your responsibility to take care of women that you walk by on the street.
Feminism has done everything to convince you that you don't have to do this.
They put characters in movies, women characters in movies who beat men up.
That doesn't happen in real life.
Even Rhonda Rousey won't fight men in the ring because she says, I don't want to justify anybody swinging at women.
This is, it's infuriating that men are being taught that they don't have to take care of women.
And it's bad for women, but women don't like the idea that they have to be taken care of.
And so you have to do it in a subtle way.
Okay, so what does this have to do with your situation?
Your situation is this.
Most women, most people, I think, want to have a relationship, a long-term, long-standing relationship.
All this stuff about guys want to play the field forever.
They don't really.
I mean, most guys ultimately want to settle down and have a relationship.
Women are on a clock.
You know, they're at their most attractive when they're young.
They're at their most fertile when they're young.
If they want to have a relationship, it really helps them to start while they're young.
You have to make sure that you don't waste this girl's time.
If you like this girl, you cannot waste her time stringing her along.
That's on you.
She doesn't have to know it.
She shouldn't know it.
She shouldn't thank you.
She shouldn't have to thank you.
It is on you to take care that you don't waste this girl's life.
That means you have exactly two choices: marry her or leave her.
Now, today, tomorrow.
So here's what you do.
Sit down in a chair and picture life without her starting tomorrow, or sit down in a chair and picture life with her forever.
Those are your two choices.
There are no other choices.
There's no choice of marrying her and dumping her later because that's absconding on your responsibilities.
There's no choice of just stringing her along while you scratch your chin and make up your mind.
You owe it to her to take care of her and make sure that you make the choice now.
So just use your imagination.
Can you live without her?
If you can't live without her, marry her.
If you don't really want her around, get rid of her and get rid of her now.
Better if she hates you for getting rid of her than that you string her along for two years and then get rid of her.
That's my answer.
You're not going to write people.
Nobody's going to like that answer, I know.
Okay, another relationship question from Sean.
I am a strong conservative Christian, and my wife is a center-left Christian.
She has strong support for gay and trans rights and believes abortion is an important right of women.
The problem is she is aware of my conservative views on the matters and avoids talking about politics at all.
How can I change your mind without putting the politics tag on conversations we have so she'll be engaged?
Okay, you got to step back from this and look at your attitudes and look at the situation.
First, first things first, your relationship, your marriage, is more important than your politics.
I mean, by like Incredible numbers, right?
Yeah, if you have to preserve your marriage by never speaking politics to your wife at all, don't speak politics to your wife.
Second of all, your attitude is how can I change her mind rather than how can I engage with her and share her opinion, listen to her opinion, and share my opinion with her.
And this has to do with the nature of debates in our media world.
I mean, people go on debates on television to win.
And you'll see, you know, it'll say on YouTube, you know, Ben Shapiro destroys Piers Morgan.
It destroys him.
And that's great on TV, and that's great in a presidential debate.
In real life, you debate things and you discuss things to come closer to the truth and to challenge your own opinions and to hear other people's opinions, especially the opinions of people you love.
So if you're just looking to change your mind, keep your mouth shut.
She's doing the smarter thing.
She's saying, you're not going to change my mind, so let's not argue about it.
Let's not have a fight over something where we're not going to agree.
If you're looking to discuss it with her and hear what she has to say and hear why she feels the way she has to feel, and even, look, it's hard to have an open mind about abortion.
It really is.
I get that, but you can at least have enough of an open mind to try and understand where she's coming from.
And if you're going to get into arguments, she is right.
She is the wiser person here because you shouldn't.
Your marriage is like a million times more important than her political opinions, which she has a right to.
I mean, you know, I hate to say it because we don't like women having their own opinions, but ultimately we have to let them get away with it.
All right, from Hendrik, question, who is that, your cheerleader, screaming at the studio?
Let's hear it again.
Howard, is that Howard Dean?
That is lovely Lindsay, the great, the foundational, the founder of our feast.
She was our first makeup lady.
She is the sister-in-law of the God-King of the Daily Wire.
Jeremy Boring, sorry.
He doesn't listen to the show anyway.
He's in the back.
He has a bottle in his desk.
We never see him.
Lindsay.
Lindsay, we loved her so we love her so much, but she had to go back to Texas because her mother was passing away and she took care of her and she decided to stay with her husband.
And we miss her, but we've just never gotten anybody to show the kind of enthusiasm for the mailbag that she did.
So we keep her in spirit and on tape.
Okay.
From Tennis, I guess it is, T-E-N-N-Y-S.
Question, dear supreme leader and light lord Clavin.
Now we're talking.
Now, come on.
The other day you said you were sure some Muslims were able to find the true God through Islam.
Does this view conflict with Jesus when he said, I am the way, the truth, and the life.
None shall come to the Father except through me.
No, it absolutely doesn't.
And people, you know, people are, the minute you start talking about religion, people just are waiting.
You know, they're just waiting for you to offend their point of view.
And somebody left a note saying I'm a universalist.
I am not a universalist.
I'm an exclusivist.
I'm not even a supporter of religion.
I only think there's one true religion.
You know, when people talk about religion, I don't care.
I don't care about other religions.
I think there's one religion that's telling the truth.
But we are made in God's image.
We have the truth within us.
We can find the truth.
And sometimes people find the truth by, you know, they'll find the truth in myths, in stories, in other religions.
Obviously, they're not calling things by their right names.
Obviously, they're not getting the whole truth.
And it is true that none shall come to the Father except through Jesus.
But we don't know how that works.
That's his call, not your call.
That's not you saying, I have to go to Jesus.
That's Jesus saying, I am the only one who can make this happen.
And he is the only one who can make this happen, but we don't know how, and we don't know what he does to people who've never heard of him, for instance.
We don't know how he handles that.
We have no clue.
There's just no way for us to know.
And it's none of our business also.
But look, everybody knows, everybody knows that you meet atheists who live closer to the precepts of Christ than Christians.
We all know this.
And that's all I'm saying, is that I'm saying that there is within us a path to God that is illuminated by Christ, that leads to Christ, but that people do stumble onto in other ways.
And I think that it's just pure silliness to not say that happens.
We see it happening with our own eyes.
So anyway, I'm not a universalist.
I am an exclusivist.
But that's just the truth of life.
Life is complex.
All right, that's our mailbag.
See, I have a couple of good questions left, but I'm running out of time.
So that's our mailbag.
Quick Movie Review00:03:24
Let's give a quick review to another movie I saw over the vacation.
I watched La La Land, which is the next film by Damien Chazelle, who did Whiplash, which I think is Shapiro.
Shapiro loves that film.
Yeah, I liked Whiplash, but Shapiro just loved it.
But this is Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone in a kind of typical Los Angeles love story between two Los Angeles-aspiring artists.
And they tell it as an old-fashioned musical, except that they're using Woody Allen's Everyone Says I Love You.
They're using actors who really can't sing or dance and are putting them in this position to do it.
This got great reviews.
I liked the first half hour a lot because it really stuck to its, you know, had people dancing in LA traffic.
I thought that was hilarious.
It had people dancing.
But then it kind of just dissipates into this kind of acting class conversations about their relationship.
This is the movie at its best.
This was my favorite scene in the movie where Gosling and Emma Stone are kind of, you know, doing this hostile thing that's turning into love, and they're watching the sun come up over LA, and they sing this song to one another.
Some other girl and guy would love this whirling sky, but there's only you and I.
And we've got no shot.
This could never be.
You're not the time for me.
Really?
And there's not a spark inside.
What a waste of a lovely night.
You say there's nothing here.
Well, let's make something clear.
I think I'll be the one to make that call.
But you'll call.
And though you look so cute in your polyester suit, you're right.
I'd never fall for you at all.
And maybe this appeals to someone up in heels.
Or to any girl who feels there's some chance, the romance.
But I'm frankly feeling nothing.
Is that so?
Or it could be less than nothing.
Good to know, so you agree.
That's right.
What a waste of a lovely night.
It's very cute.
And the thing I liked about it was I liked the values of it.
They have this relationship.
It takes them forever to get a first kiss.
They're obviously sleeping together, but we don't have to watch it.
She's dressed modestly and nicely, and he's dressed always wearing a tie and all this stuff.
It really had a kind of very old-fashioned feel to it that I really did like.
I just wished they had sort of stuck with the original vision of it.
It's just kind of dissipated.
But I did like it.
This is not a pan.
It is charming.
It's worth watching of an evening.
It just got better reviews, I think, than it deserved.
Stuff I like.
My Christmas present.
Gears of War.
Gears of War for War.
Usually I wait until I finish something before I recommend it, but this is so good.
It can't possibly, nothing could happen.
I mean, the Xbox would have to explode, killing me and my family for it not to be the greatest thing I've ever.
Gears Of War Revival00:02:48
The thing I love about Gears of War, guys with shoulders the size of like cars, you know, like carrying these guns as big as cannons, blowing away dinosaurs.
And then they have a girl character.
This is what I was complaining about with feminism.
They have a girl character who's carrying the same gun.
I couldn't carry these guns.
I mean, these guys have shoulders.
Like, if you laid me sideways, you know, laid me out, that's how big their shoulders are.
So when they pick up these guns, it makes a certain amount of cartoon sense.
Anyway, they go around blowing up monsters.
This plot has been going on for now 10, 10, 15 years.
I have no idea what it's about.
I just know that these things are trying to eat me, and I have to shoot them, and it's so much fun.
Here is the deeply emotional scene.
This will move you to tears.
Does anybody know what the guy's name is?
The hero's name is?
That's Marcus Phoenix is the old guy.
He's the old guy.
What's the young guy?
JD.
See, we knew that Austin would know this.
This is like, shame on you for knowing that.
So, JD, you're Marcus Phoenix.
Everybody has names like this.
This is like Marcus, Cade, Wade, Dirk, Stone.
You know, they're all just like, they're so macho.
Even their names break bricks, you know?
Like, so JD is the son of our hero, Marcus Phoenix, and he makes his way back to his dad bearing the claw of a monster to ask him what it is.
As if, like, what's he going to say?
Oh, it's a monster.
And I just want you to listen to Phoenix's voice, because this is how macho this guy is.
This guy must have, I won't even say it.
He must have, he must have, this guy must have masculine equipment the size of a tank.
Listen to his voice.
Dad, we need your help.
I'm all done helping you.
But this time I'm not running from the cog.
Del, you win this too?
Waist deep.
You were supposed to keep him out of trouble.
Now, you know that's not possible.
I'd introduce myself, but you'll be leaving soon.
JD's show him.
Show me what?
Our village was attacked.
And my mother was taken.
Taken?
Along with all our friends.
Dad, you should look at this.
No, you look.
I warned you not to join the cog.
What did you do?
Dad, I told you.
Don't go outside.
The cog will hunt you down again.
What did you do?
Just shut up and look.
The guy makes me sound like a soprano.
It's great.
And you can tell the heartbreaking drama just is only a part of it.
It's just to allow you to have a glass of beer while you're waiting to start shooting things again.