Ep. 185 skewers Jonah Goldberg and Trump’s "civil rights" church stunt—mocking Democrats’ panic over his standing ovation, Reuters’ dead-air censorship, and Clinton’s satirical "black voter dependency" list. Phyllis Schlafly’s ERA defeat is hailed as a conservative victory, while Fox News’ $20M harassment payouts and Greta Van Susteren’s exit signal post-election upheaval. Trump’s unpredictability vs. Clinton’s email server perjury fuels the host’s claim of a rigged media narrative, culminating in a scathing critique of elite voter disdain as the election’s final act of satire. [Automatically generated summary]
Donald Trump visited a black church over the weekend in an attempt to win over black voters and also find out what a church is and why people keep going into them.
And who's that loser nailed to the cross?
Maybe it's Jonah Goldberg since he looks Jewish and obviously can't afford a pair of pants.
After the church visit, Trump issued a statement calling for a new age of civil rights, including the right to a safe neighborhood, the right to school choice, and the right to not have your job sent to Mexico, where they're killing us on trade, folks, let me tell you.
Plus, they're all like brown-skinned and stuff.
No offense.
Trump received a standing ovation at the church, causing Democrats to panic and stampede through the streets, screaming, oh my God, the Negroes are thinking for themselves.
Someone cut the news feed before everyone sees.
Reuters did, in fact, stop the newsfeed, and the major networks then broadcast 30 seconds of dead air with the caption, no black people are applauding for Donald Trump.
Law enforcement was then able to persuade the stampeding Democrats to return to their homes without using any false statistics to incite riots in black communities, and the incident ended peacefully.
In the aftermath of the Democrat panic, the Clinton camp issued its own list of civil rights that it would pretend to offer to black people until after the election when they would forget about them.
These Democrat civil rights include the right to alienate the police who protect your neighborhood so that crime rises and more black people are killed while white liberals congratulate themselves on their racial awareness.
The right to receive money from the magical government money place so that you never need to take responsibility for improving your own life, but only have to continue to vote for the nice, magical Democrat magic people who create the money in the magic place while your life and your neighborhood disintegrate around you.
The right to act cool and speak English badly so that young white people admire and imitate you for a few years just before they go to college and get jobs while you remain unemployable.
And of course, the right to get upset and hold protest marches over minor insults so that you don't notice the fact that the Democrats aren't doing anything for you besides ginning up your anger whenever they need to distract you from the fact that they aren't doing anything for you.
Polls now show that 115% of black people will vote Democrat, even if they have to come back from the dead to do it.
As for Donald Trump, he emerged from his visit to the church with a new understanding of the nature of God.
I'd say God is the ultimate.
Hillaries Dump Revelations00:14:44
You know, you look at this, you look at this incredible, here we are in the Pacific Ocean.
How did I ever own this?
I bought it 15 years ago.
I made one of the great deals they say ever, this piece of land.
I have no mortgage on it, as you, I will certify and represent to you.
We'll see that.
And I was able to, you know, buy this and make a great deal.
That's what I want to do for the country, make great deals.
We have to.
We have to bring it back.
But God is the ultimate.
I mean, God created this.
And, you know, here's the Pacific Ocean right behind us.
So nobody, no thing, no, there's nothing like God.
God responded by sending out a memo reading, quote, someone please find me a new country to lavish blessings on.
This one is obviously over.
Trigger warning, I'm Andrew Clavin, and this is the Andrew Clavin Show.
What the hell did he just say?
Scott, God made, I made a great deal.
There must be a God.
All right.
Well, we made it through the Clavenless weekend, all of us but Phyllis Schlafly.
She was old.
She couldn't quite take the third day of the Clavenless weekend, and she passed on.
I mean, she was actually a great woman.
She really was, a great conservative leader, marshalled an army of basically of housewives and stopped the Equal Rights Amendment dead in its tracks back in the 1970s.
It was cruising on.
It was cruising to victory.
And, you know, it would have been a disaster, too, because, you know, the Constitution gives everybody the same rights.
There's no men's rights and women's rights in the Constitution.
Everybody has the same rights.
The ERA would only have been a tool for leftists to beat people to death with, as they use the same way they use Title IX.
Everyone just assumed it was going to pass.
It was just rolling to passage.
And Phyllis Schlafly basically single-handedly stopped it.
And I think that was a really positive thing.
And it also proves, it reminds you that the progressive future is only the future in the sense that death is the future.
It'll come eventually, but it doesn't have to come today.
And every day you hold it off is a good day.
And Phyllis Schlafly gave us a lot of good days.
So rest in peace.
What else happened?
Gretchen Carlson settled her sexual harassment suit with Fox News for $20 million.
It's like, someone, please pinch my butt.
Not because I want the money, I'm just lonely.
But that was quite a victory for Gretchen Carlson.
And Greta Van Sustern is done.
And she's going to leave and Pritt Yume will take her show over for a while.
I think, by the way, that this is just the beginning of what you're going to see at Fox News.
I think there is going to be a huge upheaval.
I would say that Fox News before the election and Fox News after the election are going to be two entirely different Fox Newses.
I think they've run out their string on what they were doing, as a lot of conservative media has, and maybe the conservative movement altogether, for all I know.
But I think that's done.
All right, so we're on Facebook for 15 minutes and YouTube, and then we vanish into thin air, into air, into thin air.
And you have to find us at the Daily Wire or iTunes or SoundCloud.
And you must subscribe because this is a short week.
The mailbag is tomorrow.
So send in your questions about politics, about the culture, your love life.
Answers are guaranteed 100% correct, in my opinion.
But you know, but please sign on.
And if you want to talk about stuff you like, I'd like to hear about that as well.
And we want to hear from you.
And finally, one last thing I'd like you to do is go on to Amazon or your favorite bookplace and pre-order the great good thing.
A secular Jew comes to faith in Christ, my memoir.
I got my first actual hard copy over the weekend.
So it's obviously out.
Once Amazon gets it, they don't care if the pub date is September 20th, but Amazon doesn't care, and they'll send it to you.
So you can get it, the great good thing.
All right, this is it.
Labor Day is over.
The campaign begins in earnest.
And what I saw, like, I may be the only person who's seeing this, and I may be completely wrong.
I said this before the holiday.
I say it again after.
Trump is on a roll.
I think he's on a roll.
I mean, you know, I'm calling the show Liar Liar versus Trump on Fire, okay?
Because I think on the one hand, on the one hand, you know, Hillary gets buried under this avalanche.
And, you know, this is what they call a news dump.
Friday before the long weekend, they know everybody's on vacation, nobody's paying attention.
That's when the FBI dumps all the Hillary stuff.
So we'll get back to that in a minute.
But just let me just say for a minute where I am standing right now.
And the reason I want to tell you this is because now we're getting into the meat of it.
This is the last eight weeks or whatever of the campaign.
This is the heart of it.
And I have been, I've tried to be and will continue to try to be as completely objective and fair as I can, just telling you what I see, what I think the reaction is going to be by the people.
I've said that it's hard to predict.
It's such a weird thing.
I have to admit, at this point, I've said a million times, I've lost this election.
And the reason I say I've lost this election is because there is no candidate likely to win.
There are only two candidates who are going to win.
No candidate likely to win who will reduce the size and scope of government.
What I'm looking for is entitlement reform and regulation pullbacks and a little bit more of a muscular foreign policy with making sure that we're not getting slapped around like Obama is now at the meeting.
He goes to China and little functionaries are screaming at him.
Get president off.
They don't give him a red carpet.
Nobody respects us anymore because this guy is such a weakling.
That's what I'm looking for.
And I don't see anybody doing it.
However, I have to be honest with you and tell you right at this minute in my heart of hearts, I would say that I'm rooting for Trump.
And I think it has less to do with Trump than it has to do with Hillary.
I think she is as dishonest and selfish and greedy a candidate.
And that, you know, for a politician, that's saying something, you know?
I mean, when a politician stands out for her greed and self-interest and dishonesty, it's a problem.
And I think more importantly, I think also, before I get into that, I think also, I know what president she's going to be.
I know she's going to be a bad leftist president.
I know bad, you know, Supreme Court people.
Trump, I think, is going to be a bad president.
I think, you know, there's a good chance he's going to do a lot of stupid things.
But there's a small chance he'll get it right.
There's a small chance he'll get a good Supreme Court judge.
And I have to say, that's all I can.
What else can I root for now?
You know, there's an article in Reason saying this is the worst thing for the Republican Party because the Republican Party will have to own whatever Trump does if he gets elected.
It's better for the Republican Party for Trump to lose.
What do I care about the Republican Party?
They're not my country.
The Republican Party is not my country.
This is my country.
And I think that there's a small, small chance that Trump will be somewhat better.
And on top of this, on top of this, I have to admit, and this is, I'm not proud of this, but I'm just telling you honestly because I want you to know where my commentary is coming from.
You can judge whether I'm still being objective or not.
I want to see the status quo.
I want to see the elites, the people in government discomforted, let me put it that way, or screaming with their hair on fire would also be another way of putting it.
These people despise you.
They despise you.
They hate you.
They don't want you to be free.
They don't want you to decide how to spend your own money.
They don't want you to take responsibility for your own mistakes.
They don't want you to live an adult life where your life is run by you, governed by you, lived by you.
The faults suffered by you, the achievements acclaimed by you.
You didn't build it is their watchword.
We do it.
We're the ones who get it right.
The only freedom they ever talk about are sex and drugs.
They love sex and drugs because they make slaves out of you.
I mean, I know, you know, sex is fun.
It's good.
You know, it has its place.
It's an important thing.
But, you know, if you go around doing that all the time, you're either going to get sick, you're going to have children out of wedlock.
Things are going to not be so good for you, and you're going to turn to the government for support.
And the government, remember, is not selling.
The government is buying.
They're buying your freedom when you give that money.
They're not giving you anything.
They're taking away your ability to do anything without them.
You know, we talk a lot about George Soros.
Everybody talks about this guy sitting on his money bags like Scrooge McDuck, deciding how you should spend your money while he protects his money from taxes, which he does, by the way, all the time.
But they're all George Soros.
All of these people.
You know, the IRS, the State Department.
Here's the thing about this dump that came out from Hillary Clinton.
It was the FBI dumping what their interview with her was like.
And it was embarrassing.
The news keeps saying, well, nothing new here, but there was something new.
There was new stuff.
You know, she said she had a private server, email server, because she only wanted one device.
Turned out she had 15 devices.
And when she stopped using them, she would send an aide out to smash it with a hammer.
And then she would send someone out to smash the aide with a hammer so that he didn't come back and talk about smashing the – no, she didn't do that.
But I mean, it was bad.
You know, she's smashing the thing with a hammer.
She says she signs documents under oath.
So this is perjury.
She signs documents under oath saying she has been briefed on the confidentiality rules and how they work, and she understands them.
To her, that's like signing the iTunes agreement.
You know, in the iTunes agreement, they could put in, you know, we get your firstborn child.
Yeah, great.
Just give me the music.
Give me the music.
I just want the, you know, so she was signing it like that.
Then she says, well, there was, yeah, there was a big C in front of this, but I didn't, I didn't know it meant classified or confident.
You know, I just thought it was a C. You know, it's like, I thought maybe it was the vitamin that went into that piece of information.
You know, she talked about like that she'd had a concussion and all this stuff.
And Bill McGurn in the Wall Street Journal made a really excellent point.
He had a column where he says, it isn't so much that Mrs. Clinton set up a personal server so she would not be accountable the way normal political appointees are held accountable.
It's that no one in government stopped her.
It's all of them.
That's what I'm saying.
That's what I'm saying about Donald Trump.
It's all these people.
They despise you.
They don't think anything.
Remember when they were shoving Obamacare down our throats and they'd go to these town halls and the looks on their faces when people dared to object?
Like, you know, what are you saying?
You know, you can't talk to me.
I'm a politician.
You know, these are the guys that drive me crazy.
McGurn goes on, he says, no one in government stopped her.
The Inspector General's report notes that when two IT officers expressed their concern in 2010 that Clinton's private email system meant federal records were not being preserved, they were told, quote, never to speak of the Secretary's personal email system again.
So two schlubs who hadn't gotten the word, you know, two IT guys came out and said, isn't this a problem?
Shut up.
You know, shut up.
You're not the elite.
As a result, when the American people finally learned about Mrs. Clinton's use of private email for public business, it wasn't because of a functioning civil service.
It was because of a hacker.
And it wasn't because of a functioning media either, because they're the same people.
Even today, her former department is still resisting efforts to make public the emails she tried to hide.
It's a disturbing pattern, and unfortunately, it's not limited to the State Department.
There have been similar questions about the integrity and professionalism of the IRS ever since the American people learned in 2013 that it was unfairly targeting conservative groups seeking tax-exempt status and is still doing.
So, no, we're going to have Kim Stossel on later this week, the terrific Wall Street Journal columnist.
She's written an amazing book called The Intimidation Game about the vast machinery that the Obama administration has used to shut you up.
They don't like him.
That is what makes they don't like you.
That is what makes Trump, for all his enormous flaws.
And by the way, I agree with the Never Trumpers about Trump.
It's just I think that Hillary is worse than they think she is.
This is what makes him attractive.
It makes him attractive because we just want to take these people and slap them around like they're doing in Germany right now.
Merkel's party is losing to this populist party's.
And look, there's a lot of danger in these populist parties.
They can lead to fascism.
They can lead to another kind of tyranny.
But I understand you cannot rule a free people.
You're supposed to govern a free people, and these people have lost their way.
All right, we have already run out the first 15 minutes, so I've got to say, and the show is just beginning, so come on over to The Daily Wire and hear the rest.
And when we talk about these elite people who detest you, we've got to include the media, because look at the way Hillary Clinton is treating them, and look at the way she is treating her.
Tim Kaine goes on, what's her name?
Martha Rattis, who's virtually a Clinton, she's going to be one of the debate moderators.
She's virtually a Clinton spokeswoman, you know, and she questions him finally about the fact that Clinton will not give a press conference.
Secretary Clinton has not held a press conference in 274 days.
You argue that she's talked to the press on the campaign trail, but our campaign reporters and others say she doesn't really answer that many questions.
Is this going to change?
Martha, she's had hundreds of interviews in the last year, and I've got to push back on the notion that she hasn't done a press conference.
She gave a speech to the National Association of in the last month where there were also journalists, Hispanic journalists there, and she did a press conference there.
And members of mainstream media outlets, television networks, asked her questions during that press conference.
We're about to switch into a phase of the campaign where we will be on planes and the press will be on the planes with us, which is something that Donald Trump does not allow.
We are not banning press outlets from covering public events.
And so, look, all the time, as Hillary's out on the trail, she's talking to the press, hundreds of interviews.
I'm doing the same.
The Labor Day to Election Day stretch, it's going to ramp up even more.
But we are not a campaign that is acting like Putin and other dictators and banning press outlets from even attending public events.
That's un-American, but that's what Donald Trump is doing.
So, we can expect a press conference, yes or no?
There's been one in the last month, and you're going to see Hillary very, very accessible to the press, as I will be between now and November 8th.
All right.
So, his argument, his argument is that now Hillary has this brand new plane that she's got the H tie, you know, and we're stronger together and all this stuff.
So, his argument is that no, no, no.
You know, Hillary does what they call these gaggles with the press.
She talks to the press, and she has these gaggles.
She gathers with the press and they shout these tough questions.
So, here she is on her plane with the press just hammering her with these incredibly searching, tough questions.
Hey, guys.
Hi, welcome to our big plane.
It's so exciting.
What do you think?
I think it's pretty cool, don't you?
How Does She Stand?00:02:15
I have a few questions.
You're supposed to say yes.
Be glad to have you.
Amy, watch the camera.
I am so happy to have all of you with me.
Have you missed it?
I've been just waiting for this moment.
No, really, and I'll come back, talk to you more formally, but I wanted to welcome you on to the plane.
How was your Labor Day weekend?
It was good.
It was really good.
Yeah, we had a good time.
The last moment of hello, Mark.
I recognize your hat.
How are you?
I'm glad you're here.
Yeah, last moment before the Mad Dash, the next two months.
So I hope you guys are ready.
And are you ready?
I'm ready.
Wow, how does she stand it?
How does she stand up under the withering?
How is your weekend, Dillary?
How does she stand up under the withering questioning?
But at least she's, you know, talking to the press on the plane.
I mean, what I worry is she'll give a press conference and those will be the questions.
You know, Madam Secretary, how are you feeling?
Where'd you get those shoes?
You know, it's like, so, all right, so let's just say, let's just say that's that's a meet and greet on the plane, and the press is going easy, and they're not shouting questions like, you know, they usually do.
Ha ha ha.
Now she's sitting down with CNN.
Listen to this question.
Listen to this.
Yeah.
How difficult was it to go through something so private, so personal, under the glare of the spotlight as the First Lady?
It was really hard.
It was painful.
And I was so supported by my friends.
My friends just rallied around.
They would come.
They would try to make me laugh.
They would recommend books to read.
We'd go for long walks.
We'd hang out, you know, eat bad food.
I mean, just the kinds of things you do with your friends.
And it was something that you just had to get up every day and try to deal with while still carrying on a public set of responsibilities.
So it was very, very challenging.
She's just one of the girls.
It's a bachelorette.
It's bachelorette.
You know, we eat bad food, we watch Netflix, you know, and then I would go and run the State Department on my private search.
Bible and Bias00:06:49
You know, I mean, this is insane.
You know, who cares?
Okay, well, of course, they know that that sells to women.
She's just like me.
They're selling this.
But, you know, you're sitting down with this presidential campaign.
That's your question, Monica Lewinsky.
Who cares?
I mean, so this is the liar-liar portion.
Oh, and by the way, don't ask about her health because, like, look at her.
He's in great health.
Every time I think about Trump, I get allergic.
The woman is dead.
She's already dead.
They stuffed her and they have like, they tied a string to her hand so she can wave at the crowds.
She's gone already, you know?
After the speech, they're just going to come on and bury her.
This is like, it's like we're having a campaign out of psycho.
You know, mother is stuffed in the cellar, you know.
It's like, mother, please.
It's like somebody is just mouthing the words at this point.
But we're not talking about it.
It's sexist.
It's sexist to talk about.
So meanwhile, okay, meanwhile, Donald Trump goes to this black church and he makes this speech.
And, you know, this is Detroit.
And he makes this speech that he's claimed to have written himself.
I'm sure that's not true.
But he makes it in this very subdued tone of voice.
And he says we're going to have different kinds of civil rights.
Here he goes.
I believe we need a civil rights agenda for our time.
One that ensures the rights to a great education, so important, and the right to live in safety and in peace and to have a really, really great job, a good paying job, and one that you love to go to every morning.
And that can happen.
We need to bring our companies back.
It also means the right to have a government that protects our workers and fights, really fights for our jobs.
I want to help you build and rebuild Detroit, and we can do that.
So the media looks at this with a jaundiced eye, and I agree with them.
That is the right thing to do.
I mean, they keep bringing up birtherism as if, you know, questioning where Obama was born as if that were racist.
It's not racist.
That's just stupid.
That's Donald Trump.
You know, he sees that your father is implicated in JFK and the National Inquirer, and he goes around spreading that nonsense around.
He sees that you might have been born out of the country.
He spreads that, you know, he spreads that around.
Because he's a buffoon.
That's why.
He's not a racist.
He's a buffoon.
But people keep bringing this up, and they look at John Desite, and absolutely, he calls up Ben Carson to the stage, and all I can remember is him doing that imitation of Ben Carson, like he was a retarded child and stabbed.
He just said he stabbed some guy and he didn't stab him and all this.
Everything that Trump says is only valid for the day, the moment it comes out of his mouth.
And it is right to look at this with a jaundiced eye.
But looking at it as a campaign, remember, people are just our, you know, you and I have been paying attention to this all along, but looking at this as a campaign, people are only really turning their minds on this right now.
I thought it was a good appearance.
He did very well.
It was so, we know it was good because at the end, the bishop gets up and blesses him and gives him a prayer shawl and a Bible and Reuters.
You can just barely hear it under the audio here.
The Reuters guy starts going, cut the feed, cut the, what are they?
Giving him a shawl, cut the feed.
Listen, you can just barely hear it.
This is the Jewish Heritage Study Bible.
And we have it especially for you, and we have one for your wife.
Thank you.
Because when things go down, you can study the word of God When things seem like it's almost impossible, you will read Mark 923, if thou canst believe.
All things are possible.
So you can just barely hear the add captions if you were watching, where the Reuters cameraman goes, I'm going to film this.
And the guy's like, no, black it out, black it out.
Got it down, shut it down.
Because the guy is, the bishop is blessing.
First of all, he got a standing O. That's the first thing.
The congregation gave him a standing ovation.
And then he gives him, this is another thing I liked.
He gave him a Jewish prayer shawl.
I think it's called a talis.
You convert to Christianity, you lose your memory.
But it's a Jewish prayer shawl, and he gives him a Jewish Bible.
So I'm wondering, the alt-right who hate Jews and they hate black people have seen this black bishop giving a Jewish prayer shawl, Jewish Bible.
We've been cucked.
It's the big cuck.
Come on.
The biggest cuck of all is Donald Trump.
So, you know, but it was bad enough so that they panicked because without this idea of the right is racist, without this idea of that blacks are going to vote for him, you know, vote for the Democrats 100%, the party is done.
The party is done.
Nothing they do works.
Obamacare doesn't work.
The Middle East policy hasn't worked.
The economy is stagnant.
Nothing they do works.
All they have is grievance ideology.
We are going to fix it for you.
We are going to make things better for you.
And they sell you this idea.
You know, they sell you this idea of racism like a scale.
That if there's anti-black racism through history, and God knows there has been, if you just put in some pro-black racism, then it's going to balance the scale out.
But the truth is, and nobody wants to talk about this, all the racism goes in one side.
Pro-black, anti-black, pro-white, anti-white, all goes in one side.
And only, you know, love and forgiveness and treating everybody the same and Americanism, that's what balances it out.
And they never, ever, ever want you to get that idea.
So a new CNN poll.
I told you there was going to be a bump after Mexico.
I think there could be another bump in the next couple of days.
A new CNN poll has Trump ahead.
I looked at the poll.
It wasn't really all that, you know, they kind of called a couple of people up and said, how you feeling?
You know, it's not one of the more scientific polls, but still, it does show that this has become a very, very close race.
And here we go into the end.
And you're going to hear it all here.
And we will be laughing all the way.
That is going to be the difference between this and every other broadcast as we are going to continue laughing at everybody the whole way.
Plane Landing on the Hudson00:05:06
All right, stuff I like in our cultural section.
You know, I thought it was a short week.
I'm just going to do stuff that I'm looking forward to because this has been one of the worst summers for movies ever.
You know, really, what was the name of that one where all the DC villains got together?
Oh, a suicide squad.
I mean, God, it was terrible.
I saw two reasonably decent pairs.
I saw Heller Highwater, a very good movie.
That was a good movie.
And that kind of snuck in there at the end.
But everything else, I just, I didn't even, there was stuff I wasn't even getting off the couch to see, you know, because I would think like, I ought to go see that.
Nah.
So is anything good coming?
Well, I see some posters that I like that look pretty good.
Sully is coming, which is a Clint Eastwood film.
If it weren't a Clint Eastwood film starring Tom Hanks, who I think is one of the few actors who is every bit as good as people say he is, he's really a wonderful, wonderful actor.
And also a good personality.
He's been going around and they keep questioning about politics.
And you know, he's a Hollywood lefty and all this stuff, but he's tread the line.
He's made jokes, but he hasn't said anything really offensive.
So this is about that 2009 Airbus incident off the coast of New York of Manhattan where Sully landed the Airbus in the Hudson River, landed on the Hudson River, and everybody got out alive.
And I used to fly planes.
I don't anymore, but I got a pilot's license and all that.
And I flat.
Landing on water, even if you have those pontoons, landing on water is really hard because water moves.
You know, it's hard.
It's hard to land the OLJA.
You're a pilot.
It's hard landing on the flat stuff.
Landing an Airbus on the Hudson River is a miraculous act of confidence.
I mean, every pilot knows this.
Every pilot knows that this is an amazing thing to do.
And apparently, they questioned him afterwards.
I didn't know that story, so that's what it's about.
Here's part of the trailer.
No one warned us.
No one said you were going to lose both engines at a lower altitude than any jet in history.
This was dual engine loss at 2,800 feet, followed by an immediate water landing with 155 souls on board.
No one has ever trained for an incident like that.
Our job is to investigate how a plane ended up in the Hudson River.
On the Hudson.
It's not a crash.
It was a forced water landing.
Simulations showed that you could make it back to the airport.
Not possible.
I felt it go.
My aircraft, the aircraft.
I want you to know I did the best I could.
Of course you did.
You saved everyone.
People call you a hero.
I don't feel like a hero.
There's been too much talk in the press already.
I'm overwhelmed by all this attention.
The left engine was still operating.
I didn't get this wrong.
I endangered the lives of all those passengers.
I got an A320 diving for the river.
You did everything you could.
It was more than enough.
When was your last drink, Captain Solmberg?
Have you had any troubles at home?
This is the captain.
Brace for impact.
Only the government could interrogate a guy who just saved lives.
If anybody in the government were as competent as this guy, the government would be fine.
I would be fine.
Good, have a tyranny.
You're doing great.
But anyway, like I said, this is not a picture that immediately, the subject of which immediately excites my interest, but Clint Eastwood as a director, Tom Hanks as a star, and a definite story about a hero should be really interesting.
And the other one, weirdly enough, is Blair Witch.
And I will tell you why.
Blair Witch was, as far as I can remember, the first found footage film that was ever made.
Okay, and found footage is Hollywood slang for stuff that looks like it was just put together from, you know, security films or home movies or whatever and pasted together to make a story.
I hated it.
I mean, I love ghost stories.
I love spooky stories.
I loved the story.
I thought it was boring.
I sat there wanting to be scared.
I wasn't scared.
And I just, you know, but I thought the found footage thing was cool.
And of course, it became a genre unto itself.
But I always thought it could have been great.
It should have been great.
And they played this at Comic-Con.
I wasn't there, but they played at Comic-Con.
People went nuts.
They say it is great.
So this is the sequel to Blair Witch.
A bunch of kids in the woods taking movies, found footage.
The guy who uploaded this video said it was from a tape he found in the Black Hills Woods.
I think that might be my sister.
You really think your sister could still be out there after all these years?
If there is any chance that I could find out what happened to her, I need to try.
Legend said there's been a curse on these ones.
Do you believe in the stories about the Blair Witch?
Oh my God.
Hmm.
Okay, I'm in.
You know, I'll give it a try.
If it works, it works.
All right, the campaign begins in earnest.
We are here laughing all the way.
I'm Andrew Clavin.
This is the Andrew Clavin Show, and we'll be back again tomorrow.