Andrew Clavin’s Ep. 161 skewers the 2016 DNC with absurdity—Bernie Sanders vanishing mid-speech, Clinton dodging gunfire, and Chelsea revealing she’s "Trump" over small hands—while exposing DNC email leaks showing Debbie Wasserman-Schultz’s anti-Bernie bias. He frames 60% of Democrats embracing socialism as a threat, accuses media of burying Clinton’s evasive 60 Minutes interview, and contrasts left-wing scandal coverage with right-wing scrutiny like Planned Parenthood. Trump Jr.’s blunt denial of leaks earns praise, but Clavin mocks Trump’s post-RNC Cruz attacks as a distraction, calling Cruz’s convention criticism a "moral error." The episode ends with conservative principles under siege—even Ivanka’s equal-pay push—and a satirical preview of the DNC’s chaos. [Automatically generated summary]
The Democratic Convention begins today and all across America.
Journalists are breathless with excitement to watch the first female ever to become a major party's nominee for the first president ever to be impeached and convicted in her first term, paving the way for the first white male ever to become president after a female president was elected.
Let's take a look at the exciting schedule of speakers and events that awaits those of us who haven't punctured our eardrums and then set ourselves on fire, hoping to avoid the whole thing.
Today, the festivities open with an inspiring 21-gun attack on police officers, followed by solemn speeches about how much Democrats respect police officers and what a shame it is they have to be killed in order for Democrats to secure the black vote.
The keynote speaker will be Bernie Sanders, who will issue a stirring call for something that won't be heard because the microphone will mysteriously cut out just before a trapdoor opens in the floor and he vanishes down a pneumatic chute only to reappear hours later in the year 1932.
On Tuesday, the mother of schoolyard thug Trayvon Martin will speak.
The unarmed Martin was shot dead while innocently slamming a man's head into a curbstone.
Next, the mother of petty criminal Michael Brown will speak.
Brown was shot by a police officer for the crime of just being black while trying to grab the officer's gun and kill him.
These mothers will try to get the audience to imagine what it's like to have your innocent son killed.
Then the mothers themselves will try to imagine what it's like to have their innocent son killed.
Then everyone will close their eyes and imagine we live in a world of innocent black people being killed by whites.
Meanwhile, Democrat officials will silently move among the crowd, taking people's wallets.
The keynote speaker will be Bill Clinton, whose speech is tentatively entitled, When Committing Rape is a Cry for Help Because You're Trapped in a Marriage to a Soulless Power-Hungry Lesbian.
DNC officials say they're still working with Bill on that title.
Wednesday is a big night as President Barack Obama will tell the crowd that the country is in terrible shape, such terrible shape that only electing a Democrat can fix it.
According to a pre-released transcript of the president's speech, Obama hopes to quell the nation's fears, saying, quote, many Americans are afraid that Mrs. Clinton is a corrupt, self-centered machine politician with a heart eaten hollow by the acid of unfulfilled ambition and a dark soul in which an actual scruple would die of loneliness, but I don't think that's entirely true, unquote.
Finally, it's Thursday, and Chelsea Clinton will take the stage to plead with America to elect her mother president, so she'll stop pacing around in the attic, muttering to herself about how Obama cheated her out of it, which is driving Chelsea crazy.
Then Hillary herself will reappear after a ceremonial running gun battle with federal agents.
Hillary will declare triumphantly, quote, I have said a lot of things that aren't true, but there's one promise I can make you tonight.
I am not Donald Trump.
Whereupon Chelsea will rip off her mother's mask to reveal that she actually is Donald Trump, which may explain the small fingers.
Finally Clavenless Weekend00:02:09
Trigger warning, I'm Andrew Clavin, and this is the Andrew Clavin Show.
You can't even say, even that is a lie.
Donald Trump.
All right, we're back.
The Clavenless weekend, we made it.
We made it crawling through, and only a few people were killed by terrorists this week.
Although at my house, I have to say, we're having this enormous fire, and it's not that close to us.
But on Saturday, the wind was in our direction, so I wake up, and the Clavenless weekend begins.
The sun is seriously the color of blood.
It is blood red and smeared.
It looks like somebody painted it sloppily and it's all smeared because the smoke is so thick.
My car is covered in ashes, and there's this weird green apocalyptic light shining.
And I thought, uh-oh, this may be the real Clavenless weekend.
It may finally, finally be here.
All right, and plus, a lot of people attacked me.
A lot of view listeners attacked me for my opinion about Ted Cruz.
And of course, as usual, you're wrong, and I'm correct.
And also, on top of which, I told them, I said, put your fingers in your ears and whistle Dixie.
But they probably didn't hear me because they had their fingers in their ears and were whistling Dixie.
But they didn't, you know, if I tell you not to listen and you listen and then you get offended, whose fault is that?
All right.
So we have 15 minutes, right, on Facebook Live.
Here we are.
Hello, hello.
And then come over to the Daily Wire and hear the rest of it and then subscribe and you can watch the whole thing and also be in the mailbag, which is important because otherwise your questions just go unanswered and you just go through life like that.
And one day you'll be old and you'll say, I could have had all my questions answered.
I didn't subscribe.
So subscribe.
It's free for a month, I think, and then it's eight bucks a month.
And it goes up, I think, a dollar every month until it's, I think, $100,000 or something.
No, it's $8 a month.
So anyway, so here we go into the DNC convention.
Donald Trump got a bounce, apparently, from a CNN ORC poll.
He got a big bounce from his convention and was something like, I think he's like now five points up in a four-way race.
Clinton's 68% Untrustworthy Rating00:15:22
And he, and Clinton has now got a 68% untrustworthy rating.
68%, which means a lot of people are going to go in and say, oh, I'll vote for the crook.
You know, they're still going to vote for her, but he's 68%.
That's a lot of people.
And she picked a vice president candidate, Tim Kaine, and that's not going to do anything for her.
But actually, I don't think she expected it to do anything for her.
She picked the most moderate white male, white-bred male she could pick, basically feeling that Trump was shooting himself in the foot and she didn't have to worry about him, I think, you know, because she is not appealing to the left of the party who are now good and properly ticked off because of these wiki leaks of thousands of DNC emails showing that, in fact, just like Bernie said they were, the DNC was plotting against him.
They were saying all these nasty things about him.
They were going to use his religion against him.
They were strategizing on how to defeat him and get him over.
And they're wishing, oh, why isn't it just over?
So everything that Bernie said, well, here's Bernie's response to hearing the news, what he had to say.
He's talking to George Stephanopoulos.
I told you a long time ago that the DNC was not running a fair operation, that they were supporting Secretary Clinton.
So what I suggested to be true six months ago turns out, in fact, to be true.
I'm not shocked, but I am disappointed.
And that is the way it is.
What should be done about it?
Well, you know, what I also said many months ago is that for a variety of reasons, Debbie Wasserman-Schultz should not be chair of the DNC.
And I think these emails reiterate that reason why she should not be chair.
But I think the main reason, to my mind, is not only these emails.
The main reason is we need a Democratic Party that is open, that is bringing working people into the party, that is bringing young people, that is bringing all of the people in this country who are sick and tired of an economy that works well for the 1% while the middle class continues to decline.
What our campaign was about, George, was our campaign was about revitalizing American democracy.
I want to see that incorporated into the Democratic Party.
And I don't believe that Debbie Wasserman-Schultz is the person to be able to do that.
See, the reason this is important, the press is way underplaying it, and I'll get back to this in a minute.
But the reason it's important is not because of us, not because of conservatives.
It's important because Hillary Clinton is now at the top of a party that disagrees with her.
The party, something like 60% of Democrats, 60% have a positive view of socialism.
60% of the party have a positive view of a philosophy that has sapped every country it has ever touched, has sapped the energy and economy and freedom out of every energy, every country it has ever touched.
60% of Democrats now think, not a bad idea.
You know, we could destroy our country like that.
That'd be fun, you know.
And so Bernie Sanders is, is the face of the Democrat Party.
And a lot of people who might have been thinking, oh, well, better than Donald Trump, and I don't want to vote for Trump and all this stuff, are now really ticked off.
They're outside protesting against it and all this stuff.
On top of which, you've got to hear, this is a long cut.
This is the first Clinton Scott Pelly cut on CBS.
Now, Pelley confronts, this is the first interview on 60 Minutes of Hillary Clinton and Kane together, running the team together.
And Pelley starts to ask them about this.
I'll tell you what's important about this after you listen to it, but all they do is dodge for it.
It's about two minutes long.
So listen to this experience.
Brad Marshall, the chief financial officer of the committee, wrote in an email for Kentucky and West Virginia, can we get someone to ask his belief?
Does he believe in a God?
He had skated on saying he has a Jewish heritage.
I think I read he's an atheist.
This could make several points difference with my peeps.
In quotes.
Did you know anything about any of that?
No, and I didn't know anything about it, and I haven't read any of those, but I am adamantly opposed to anyone bringing religion into our political process.
I mean, the Constitution says no religious tests, so that is just absolutely wrong and unacceptable.
But maybe the point, Madam Secretary, is you have people in the Democratic National Committee who are supposed to be, if you will, agnostic about who the nominee is going to be.
And they seem to have their thumb on the scale for you.
They seem to be working against Bernie Sanders, their fellow Democrat.
Again, I don't know anything, I don't know anything about these emails.
I haven't followed it.
But I'm very proud of the campaign that I ran.
And I'm very proud of the campaign that Senator Sanders ran.
In your view, any effort in the DNC to favor one candidate or another would have been improper?
Again, I don't have any information about this, and so I can't answer specifically.
We ran our campaign.
We ran hard.
We worked to have as many successes as possible.
I'm very proud that we got more votes than anybody else running, including Donald Trump.
And I am very grateful for the campaign that Senator Sanders ran because we ran a campaign based on issues, not insults.
So I can't speak to what people who were not working for me, who were saying whatever they were saying.
I can't speak to that.
I can only speak to my campaign.
It must be refreshing for Hillary Clinton to have something new to lie about.
I was tired of telling the old lies about the emails.
Now I can move on to lying about the fact I didn't know about this.
Let me tell you the most important thing about this.
Okay, this is the first interview.
This is the story of the day.
I mean, this email thing is the first interview the full Democrat team has had sitting together.
This is 60 minutes, right?
You know the most important thing about those two minutes?
It wasn't on the air.
They didn't put it in the show.
They cut it out of the show.
The big news that they dodged them for two minutes, two solid minutes.
She sat there and lied as we have seen her lie about every damn thing that comes down the pike.
They cut it out because Scott Pelley is a Democrat operative.
That pompous, he's such a pompous guy, and he's always looking with that kind of moral, you know, let me ask you a while, you know.
And he even goes on later on, and he says, why do you do it?
Why do you stand for this?
And Clinton's best line, I mean, listen to this.
This is their best line about whether she's corrupt or not.
Listen to this.
I will take responsibility for any impression or anything I've ever done that people have legitimate questions about.
But I think that it's fair to say there's been a concerted effort to convince people like that young man of something.
Nobody's quite sure what, but of something.
I often feel like there's the Hillary standard and then there's a standard for everybody else.
What's the Hillary standard?
Well, it is, you know, a lot of, as you saw at the Republican convention, unfounded, inaccurate, mean-spirited attacks with no basis in truth, reality, which take on a life of their own.
And for whatever reasons, and I don't want to try to analyze the reasons.
I see it.
I understand it.
People are very willing to say things about me, to make accusations about me that are, I don't get upset about them anymore, but they are very regrettable.
So there's the Hillary standard and the standard for every, I'm not sure that's a good line for her, you know, because the Hillary standard, if she weren't running on the Hillary standard, they'd be taking her picture face forward and then sideways and leading her way in handcuffs.
I mean, everybody else on the planet would be in jail, or at least in court, for the stuff she did with the email.
And I also like the fact that, like, she says, and we never quite know what the charges are.
You know, on a list?
I mean, this is, it's amazing.
There's a Hillary standard.
But all of this stuff, the important thing about this stuff is that they didn't air it.
They don't put it on the air because the press, well, we know they're in the tank, but I want to take a look.
I'm going to tell you, I've told you the Clavin's first rule of mainstream media journalism.
Now I'm going to tell you the second rule of mainstream media journalism.
And you may have to, we're going to lose you on Facebook in a minute, so you may have to tune in at the Daily Wire if you want to hear this.
But first, let's look at Clinton's campaign manager, what he's going to say about the DNC.
It's all a big Russian conspiracy.
Robbie Mook talking about how the emails were released.
What is the reaction of the Clinton campaign to these DNC leaked emails suggesting that top officials, including the CFO there, were actively discussing ways to hurt Bernie Sanders in the primaries?
Well, I think the DNC needs to look into this and take appropriate action, and I'm sure that they will.
What's disturbing to us is that experts are telling us that Russian state actors broke into the DNC, stole these emails, and other experts are now saying that the Russians are releasing these emails for the purpose of actually helping Donald Trump.
I don't think it's coincidental that these emails were released on the eve of our convention here.
And that's disturbing.
And I think we need to be concerned about that.
I think we need to be concerned that we also saw last week at the Republican convention that Trump and his allies made changes to the Republican platform to make it more pro-Russian.
And we saw him talking about how NATO shouldn't intervene to defend, necessarily should intervene to defend our Eastern European allies if they're attacked by Russia.
So I think when you put all this together, it's a disturbing picture.
And I think voters need to reflect on that.
All right.
On that crazy note, we will leave you at Facebook.
Come to The Daily Wire and hear the rest, and we'll see you there.
All right.
So here's the thing.
Rule number one of mainstream media journalism, Clavin's rule number one of mainstream media journalism, and I always read this off the page so I make sure to get it right.
Whenever the prejudices and illusions of left-wingers are confirmed by an individual incident, the incident is treated as representative.
When those prejudices and illusions are contradicted, the incident is considered an aberration and treating it as representative is deemed hateful.
That's the first rule, Clavin's first rule of mainstream media journalism.
Here's rule number two.
When a scandal breaks on the right, what's important is the content of the scandal.
When a scandal breaks on the left, what's important is where the information came from and how it was obtained.
So that's when we see a guy goes in with a hidden camera into Planned Parenthood and finds out that they're eating babies and selling the body parts and taking money.
And this part I'm not even joking about.
They're taking money to kill black babies.
They're taking donations targeted to the abortion of black babies.
And the question that the press asks is, is it right to go in there with a camera, a hidden camera, and record people?
Isn't that breaking the law?
Didn't they do something illegal when Valerie Plain's husband, Joseph Wilson, lied about George W. Bush and saying that, oh, you know, Saddam Hussein wasn't trying to get materials for weapons of mass destruction.
And he was, when Wilson was shown to have not told the truth, and when it was shown that he had gotten his job through his wife, Valerie Plain, which was illegal, the question was, who released the name of Valerie Plain?
Who released the name?
So now it's going to be, is this a Russian plot?
And Mook not only says that it's a Russian plot to release the emails, which is one thing, he says Trump's in on it.
Trump has sold his soul to the Russians, and we're not going to fight with the Russians in, you know, we're going to let them take back Eastern Europe as long as the Russians help Trump get elected.
Here is Donald Trump Jr. answering those charges.
Well, it just goes to show you their exact moral compass.
I mean, they'll say anything to be able to win this.
I mean, this is time and time again, lie after lie.
You know, he won't say, well, I say this.
We hear experts.
You know, his house cat at home once said that this is what's happening with the Russians.
It's disgusting.
It's so phony.
I watched him bumble through the interview.
I was able to hear it on audio a little bit.
I mean, I can't think of bigger lies, but that exactly goes to show you what the DNC and what the Clinton camp will do.
They will lie and do anything to win.
You hear it with the DNC where they're leaking emails about Bernie Sanders and his Jewish heritage to be able to try to destroy him in the South.
It's a rigged system.
It's disgusting.
And the people should be fed up.
Because when I heard it, I certainly was.
So I have to say, I wish that the guy's father had this kind of focus.
Like, he goes right for what he has to say, and he says it, and he has got a little bit of his father's fire and toughness and that kind of, you know, cut-your-throat response.
He doesn't hold back.
But he seems to actually be focused on what he's supposed to be doing as opposed to Donald Trump.
Now, this happened after the Clavin, last Clavin week ended.
So I want to go back and talk a little bit about Trump's speech at the RNC convention, the Republican convention.
I had, Shapiro and I had almost virtually the same reaction.
We were text messaging back and forth.
I read the speech about an hour before he made the speech.
And I thought, gee, this is a pretty good speech.
And it was full of the usual Trump stuff.
Trump is really good at identifying the problems and describing the problems.
He has no policies to suggest except I alone can fix it.
But here is just a piece of this speech.
When he started to give it, I thought my opinion totally changed.
Here's the first part.
I will present the facts plainly and honestly.
We cannot afford to be so politically correct anymore.
So if you want to hear the corporate spin, the carefully crafted lies, and the media myths, the Democrats are holding their convention next week.
Go there.
But here at our convention, there will be no lies.
We will honor the American people with the truth and nothing else.
See, that's good stuff on the page because this is the whole problem.
We all feel we're being lied to.
We feel that the press is selling us a bill of goods.
They're selling us the Obama presidency as scandal-free when it's racked with scandal.
They're selling us the Obama presidency is a success when it's an utter failure.
They're selling us Hillary Clinton as if she has something to say other than, I will take your money and live well after I retire, which is all she seems to be saying.
So this is good stuff.
Why He Screamed00:08:02
But why is he screaming?
And he took this 30-minute speech and he screamed it for an hour and 15 minutes.
Remember that girly guy who said the machine gun, the AR-15 gave him PTSD, Gersh Kuntzman?
The Kuntzman says, oh, I fired a gun and now I have PTSD.
You know, that's what I felt like after watching the speech.
I felt like this orange guy is screaming at me for an hour and 15 minutes.
I have a nervous tick afterwards.
So then, oh, and then, and then the Democrats' reaction, which by the way, was in almost every single news story.
Every single news story used the same word as if, almost as if they were coordinating with the Democrats on their stories.
It was dark.
It was dark.
He talked about all the terrorism and the division in our country and the fact that the economy, it was dark.
That guy is dark.
As if people are sitting around going, gosh, things are great.
You know, gosh, that's why we just are nominating the best people in our parties instead of Donald Trump.
You know, they nominated Donald Trump because they hate you.
They hate you guys.
They hate the establishment.
They hate the Republican Party.
They hate the Democrat Party.
They hate the press.
That's why Trump is there.
And the press going, it's dark.
It's like, it's dark because we hate you.
That's why he's standing there.
So that's not even a criticism of the guy.
And then, you know, he did a good job.
He took Clinton apart.
He just did it at the top of his lungs.
Play this second cup.
And when a Secretary of State illegally stores her emails on a private server, deletes 33,000 of them so the authorities can't see her crime,
puts our country at risk, lies about it in every different form, and faces no consequence, I know that corruption has reached a level like never, ever before in our country.
When the FBI director says that the Secretary of State was extremely careless and negligent in handling our classified secrets, I also know that these terms are minor compared to what she actually did.
They were just used to save her from facing justice for her terrible, terrible crimes.
So he's screaming.
You know, at one point he said, I am your voice.
And I thought, no wonder I'm so hoarse, you know?
Screaming.
But here's the thing.
Here's the thing.
It was a good speech.
Too loud, too slow, but still, the content was pretty good.
Obviously, he's gotten a bump in the polls and all this stuff.
But he can't stay focused.
I mean, 10 minutes.
You know, the next day, this is, remember, the peak of your campaign.
You've just had your convention.
The two things that basically happen are the convention and the debates.
Those are the things that people really pay attention to.
They don't pay attention to every little detail.
They pay attention to these big moments.
So he's got this balance, and he goes out and he starts attacking Ted Cruz.
Standing with his VP Mike Pence, and he says to the crowd, can the president start a super PAC to destroy Ted Cruz?
I mean, if I'm president, can I and he turns around and Mike Pence is shaking his head, no, no, no, don't do that.
And he doubles down on it.
He goes on with Chuck Todd, and Todd asks him about it, and he says, Yeah, that's what I'm going to do while I'm president.
Are you really going to fund a super PAC to help defeat?
Number one thing on my mind.
Look, what's on my mind is beating Hillary Clinton.
What's on my mind is winning for the Republican Party.
With that being said.
Yeah, I'll probably do a super PAC when they run against Kasich for $10 to $20 million.
All right.
Against Ted Cruz.
And maybe one other person that I'm thinking about.
I will tell you that.
I mean, he's actually such a small person, I hate to give him the publicity.
But yes, I will probably do that at the appropriate time, but I'm not going to do that until the next time.
Oh, give me the small person here.
No, no, don't worry about it.
We'll give it to you another time.
What the hell is he talking about?
The guy's running for president of the United States.
He's going to sit around targeting guys in his own party.
I mean, this is the thing.
This is the thing.
So everybody jumped on me last week because I believe, and I still believe, that Ted Cruz made a moral error in showing up at the convention and basically giving the diss to Donald Trump at the convention.
I did not say that he should get rid of his principles.
I did not say that he shouldn't say what he had to say.
I said he shouldn't have gone there to say it.
That was the party's party.
That was the party's celebration of their guy.
He should have stayed away.
He doesn't have to, I just felt he was elevating himself and his sense of his own principles above his job, which is fine if he wants to attack Trump.
I have no problem with his attacking Trump whatsoever.
But politics, politics grows out of morality, but it's not morality.
The difference between morality is very simple.
If you're a Christian, you have to do what you do as a Christian, even if they throw you to the lions.
Even if they throw you to the lions, that's a victory for a Christian.
That is the victory of Christ, right?
He goes to the cross.
That's what morality is like.
Politics, you've got to win.
Politics is an instrument for winning.
You've got to keep your principles, but you've got to win with your principles.
If you get thrown to the lions every election as a conservative, you're just a self-satisfied schmuck.
You're just a guy who thinks he's right.
That's why in politics you compromise, where in moral issues you don't.
That is why sometimes we attack these guys unfairly because they have to make compromises to stay alive.
I mean, that's part of politics, is winning.
And I think that there is, as Reagan said, there is no substitute for victory.
And I think Ted Cruz let his ego get in the way.
He thought he was going to go and slip it, slip a little Italian knife into Donald Trump's neck and Trump wasn't going to even notice.
And basically he brought a stiletto to a nuclear war because Trump just blew him to pieces.
And the polls are now reflecting that.
So that's my only point about him, that he was not serving the purposes of his party.
And if he wanted to attack his party, he shouldn't have gone to the party's convention to do it.
That was my only point about him, not that he shouldn't say whatever he wants to say.
My problem right now is that conservatism has collapsed.
When I saw Ivanka Trump get up and give this speech, and she's very beautiful, and the dress she was wearing sold out in minutes after she stepped down.
It did.
It was out of the stores in minutes.
People liked her and all this stuff.
But when she was talking about equal pay for women, like the government should mandate equal pay for women and would under a Trump administration, and people were cheering that, I thought, well, that's not conservatism.
That's my philosophy, my point of view, has disappeared from the scene.
Fox News, the chief information giver, the chief media information giver of conservatism, is collapsing in a sex scandal.
We're in disarray.
We're in disarray, and I want to rebuild the conservatism, not just that it's principled, but one that can win.
And I'm very much opposed, by the way, to these guys who say in order for conservatism to win, it has to become liberalism.
That means nothing to me.
Winning as a liberal means nothing to me.
But we do have to think about how we win and where we win.
And listen, there's an argument to be made that conservatism is in better shape if Trump loses.
That then we still have the Republican Party and we can rebuild within the party.
If Trump wins, we may need a new party to take him out.
We may actually have to distance ourselves from Trump.
And we may have to see.
You know, maybe Trump will become conservative.
You know, maybe he's made a promise to appoint a Supreme Court judge in the tradition of Scalia.
Let's see.
Let's see.
All of this brings me to stuff I like because, of course, I believe that the culture is the long game.
And if we fight in the culture and win in the culture, we'll win 20 years down the line.
So here is a controversial stuff I like.
I've now recommended this to about three or four people and gotten different reactions from everybody.
Winning As A Liberal00:02:59
The Cone brothers recently made a movie called Hail Caesar, which I don't think did very well, and it hasn't got very good ratings on Rotten Tomatoes and all this stuff.
I thought it was terrific.
And my attitude toward Cone Brothers is simple.
I love their crime films.
I loved Fargo.
I loved Blood Simple.
Oh, I loved Blood Simple and the other one, Nope Country for Old Men.
I love their crime stories.
I hate their other films.
I think they're boring.
I think they're rambling.
I think they're obtuse and obscure.
You know, they're obscure.
You don't know what they're saying, and that's supposed to be profound.
And I just don't think that's profound.
So I didn't think I was going to like this movie, but this is the most anti-communist, pro-Christian film that is well made that I have seen in a long time.
Plus, it's hilarious.
It's about old-time Hollywood, Hollywood in the 50s, and the communists infiltrating Hollywood.
It's the only time I think I have ever seen a film about the communists in Hollywood that made them look like what they were, which was self-aggrandizing idiots.
But it's also just very funny.
Here's a scene in which the cowboy star, they need a guy to star in the sophisticated Lawrence Lorenz film.
His name is Lawrence Lorenz, and he's played by Ray Fiennes.
And this guy, Alden Ehrenreich, plays the cowboy star, so they send him, and he's got to deliver the line.
I would it were so simple.
I would it were so simple.
And he just can't get it out because he's got this country accent.
So Ray Fienz is the director tries to school him how to say this line.
Say your line exactly as I'm about to.
Just as I'm about to do.
Sure.
Okay.
Would the titro so simple?
Would that it were so simple?
Would the tetroir so simple?
Would that it were so simple?
My dear boy, why do you say that?
Why do you say twer?
Well, you say, like I said, yes, would that it were so simple?
Would the tetro so simple?
Would that it were so simple?
Would that it were so simple?
Watch my mouth.
Would the detroit so simple?
Would the detroit so simple?
Keep your head still.
Would the detour so simple?
Would that it were so simple?
Would the detour so simple?
I'm trying to say that, Mr. Laurence.
Lawrence, hmm?
I thought a minute ago it was Laurent.
We can use Christian names, my good dear boy.
Lawrence is fine, just as I call you Hobie.
Okay.
So, would the tetroir so simple?
Would the detour so.
I understand that.
Would the tetroir so simple?
Trippingly.
Would the detroit so simple?
Trippingly.
Don't say trippingly.
Say the line trippingly.
It's really funny.
It's got a couple of scenes.
That and one other scene are like laugh out loud, funny.
But it also has something profound to say about Christianity, about faith, about the movies and why you make art and why art elevates people, and about how beautiful these old movies were and how much they put into them.
It really is a good movie.
Hail Caesar by the Cone Brothers.
All right.
The Democrat Convention begins.
This should be an hilarious week.
We should be a lot to laugh about.
And I'll see you tomorrow and we'll start laughing then.