Andrew Clavin’s Ep. 7 skewers Biden as a "know-nothing" championed by "CBS News Viewers for Biden" and "climate alarmists," mocking his plagiarism scandals and corporate backers like Ashley Madison. He slams Obama’s self-serving mass shooting rhetoric, dismissing leftist gun-control narratives while praising Milo Yiannopoulos’ suppressed-masculinity theory. Clavin’s satirical Live One video ridicules performative grief over real solutions, ending with a snobbish dismissal of his audience as "slovenly gutter lives." The episode frames Biden’s rise as a triumph of stupidity over competence, exposing media and political hypocrisy. [Automatically generated summary]
Sources say Vice President Joe Biden is close to deciding whether to run for president.
A Biden presidential victory would be historic, marking the first time a complete idiot has won the White House.
While liars, crooks, and fools have occasionally occupied the Oval Office in the past, there has never before been a president who couldn't find his backside with a map and a flashlight.
Low IQ voters across the country are reacting with excitement to the prospect of a Biden campaign.
New York Mayor Bill de Blasio, for instance, said, quote, short of electing a lint bunny, a farm animal, or a lump of coal, giving Joe the presidency would be the nearest thing to putting an absolute know-nothing in charge of the country.
And that's a true step toward greater tolerance for total ignoramuses, or maybe it's ignorami.
Other dumbbells have already begun organizing into packs for the vice president, including groups such as CBS News Viewers for Biden, climate change alarmists for Biden, and college activists for shouting down anyone who disagrees with Biden.
Mel Gooney, president of the Stupid People's Organization for the Advancement of I Forget What, said, quote, it's about time an utter moron had a chance to show what he can do to this country.
The news media promised us we'd get blithering idiots if we voted for Dwight Eisenhower, Ronald Reagan, and George W. Bush, but we were betrayed when they turned out to be really smart people who just happened to be Republicans.
Even a fool can see that if we want to elect a really stupid person, we should vote for the Democrat the media tell us is smart, and Joe Biden is the real deal.
Gooney went on to say that once a genuine twit like Biden was in the Oval Office, idiots around the country would get free ice cream and be able to fly.
Business leaders are also rooting for the vice president, believing that a Biden administration could do wonders for those companies that service total boneheads, including Ashley Madison, Meth Dealers, and MSNBC.
A Biden presidential run could present a serious challenge to Hillary Clinton.
Hillary has made her way up the Washington ladder by repeatedly lying to cover up the wrongdoing of powerful men, which, if elected, would make her the first abused wife ever to become president.
But while abused wives everywhere are excited to see one of their own achieve the Oval Office, they're afraid to say so out loud and claim there really is nothing wrong.
They just pocketdialed the police.
It was a complete mistake.
But even if abused wives do speak up for Hillary, complete idiots of both sexes outnumber them by about 100 to 1.
Sources close to the vice president say he hasn't decided whose speech to use if he does announce his candidacy, said one source, he wants to plagiarize someone really smart, but we're afraid that will alienate his base.
While buffoons across the country look forward to having an idiotic fellow traveler in the White House, intelligent, thoughtful, insightful, and decent people everywhere take comfort in hearing these words, trigger one.
Jokes and Queer Advocacy00:08:45
I'm Andrew Clavin, and this is the Andrew Clavin Show.
All right, we're back.
The weekend is over.
It's time to return to the life of the mind.
That's what we should have called this show The Life of the Mind.
I'm Andrew Clavin.
I could have talked in an NPR voice then.
I could have said, I'm Andrew Clavin then.
This is the life of the mind.
Spewing leftist tomfoolery and completely false narratives, but speaking quietly so you think that I'm intelligent and cultured.
You don't notice Rush Limbaugh talking like this.
That's how you know he's not right.
Actually, our life of the mind would be more like Barton Fink.
Does anybody remember Barton Fink?
It's not my favorite movie, but there's this wonderful scene where Barton Fink is the intellectual playwright who keeps thinking about the life of the mind, and finally John Goodman just sets his entire hotel on fire and comes at him with a shotgun going, I'll show you the life of the mind.
Boo-boom!
That's going to be the Andrew Clavin version of the life of the mind.
So moving right in from that, speaking of shooting, let's talk a little bit about how we react to these mass shootings that have been taking place.
I do this with care because I'm constantly getting letters telling me that I'm making jokes about things I shouldn't make jokes about.
I did one of my favorite videos about abortion and got a lot of emails saying, you know, you shouldn't make jokes about abortion and you shouldn't make jokes about shootings and things like that.
And the thing is, that's not what I'm making jokes about.
I'm not making jokes about people dying.
I don't think that's funny.
I'm not making jokes about grief or dead babies or anything like that.
I'm making jokes about the way we react to these things and the way especially our media sells us a corrupt narrative and basically insists on us accepting stuff that isn't true.
So we have this shooting in Oregon.
It's very tragic, obviously.
But immediately President Obama rushes to the microphone and starts and gives this speech that is not only utterly fact-free.
I think somebody counted that he mentions himself in it 28 times.
He uses the word I 28 times so we know what the speech is actually about.
Just play a shortcut, that shortcut I gave you, if you would, Mathis, just so we get what he's saying.
But we are not the only country on earth that has people with mental illnesses or want to do harm to other people.
We are the only advanced country on Earth that sees these kinds of mass shootings every few months.
Earlier this year, I answered a question in an interview by saying, the United States of America is the one advanced nation on Earth in which we do not have sufficient common-sense gun safety laws.
even in the face of repeated mass killings.
So none of this is, none of these things he says about other countries is true.
We're not the only country in which there are mass shootings.
We're not even the country with the most mass shootings.
And if, for one moment, we might conjecture that when an Islamist opens fire on a group of people that is counted as a mass shooting, we are far below most people.
If the Charlie Hebdo massacre is counted as a mass shooting instead of what Obama called a bunch of random guys randomly shooting random people randomly for random reasons, then you would see that our guns are what keep us safe and they're also what keep us free.
Look, the left doesn't like guns because they don't like ordinary people having as much power as the government.
That's not the way it's supposed to work in their world.
Hillary Clinton is now proposing that she's going to take executive action.
This is the new thing that the left loves, executive action.
We love executive action because then we don't have to be able to have the constitution because the constitution is only for the conservatives.
It's not for us.
We just have executive action.
I do a very, that's a very good imitation of the leftists.
I think that was pretty impressive.
Gosh, McKee, I don't love executive action.
All right, so for them, it's all about the guns.
You know, the gun came from a broken home.
The gun, you know, started taking drugs, and finally it just exploded and went off and killed people.
That's the leftist narrative, so we have to take away your guns.
Here's another take from Milo Yiannopoulos.
Milo, I just think Milo is great.
He's over at Breitbart.com.
I got to know Milo a little bit when I was doing my truth revolt video about Gamergate.
Milo is an expert on Gamergate and a big defender of video games against the left social justice warriors, so-called social justice warriors who want to take out every instance of sexism or any kind of anti-leftism that might appear in Gamergate and the people who are in video games and people of Gamergate are fighting back and trying to keep games for what they are, just the fun narratives that they're supposed to be.
And Milo was in the thick of that fight, so I called him up in England and interviewed him.
He's great, just an intelligent, funny, sarcastic guy.
And when you talk to him, I probably shouldn't say this, he'll probably sue me for saying this.
He's also a man of high journalistic ethics, very compassionate guy, very careful in what he says, even about his opponents, which is something you don't see very often.
And Milo is, as he himself puts it, to use his own phrase, he is a raging homo, and he uses that.
He uses his, what I think is so great about him is he uses the fact that he's queer to speak up for men.
Just in the same way that Carly Theorina uses the fact that she's a woman to criticize Hillary Clinton without any kind of holding back, Milo uses the fact that he's gay to speak up for the culture of masculinity.
So he writes a piece in Breitbart that begins, I might be a raging homo, but I still innately understand the male need to conquer, crush, and win.
Men need to express that dark, powerful part of themselves, or it can abruptly overflow.
If it is suppressed, derided, and ridiculed, it can show up without warning and with horrible consequences.
That's why I'm so distressed that heterosexual men are being told constantly by the media and even in schools that what they are is bad.
This, I submit, is at least in part what's driving the recent spate of shootings.
Now, until that last line, I actually agree with just about everything Milo is saying.
It's, you know, young men are being mistreated, masculinity is being devalued, and the fact is, where young men go, that's where the country goes.
If young men go down the drain, the country goes down the drain.
If they show you all this stuff about how great women are doing and young men go down the toilet, that's where the country is going.
There's a reason that they always tell you about the first woman to do something.
When they say, oh, the first woman to fly to the moon, the first woman to be in combat, the first woman, it's because a guy already did it.
It's where guys go, where young men go, that the country is going.
And when I say things like that, people think that I'm sexist.
And there are always two questions to ask.
One, do people think that I'm sexist?
And two, do I care whether people think that I'm sexist?
The answer to the second question is no, so we don't have to answer the first question, and we save a lot of time.
So, you know, the thing about it is, is it's not me who devalues women.
It's feminists who devalue women.
Feminists devalue the female realm, and they make it so that women can only have self-respect.
They deem women only to be respected when they're operating in the male realm, and so women are constantly put in a position of being the second up or the first woman to do this or the second person.
They'll hold up a Rhonda Rousey, the fighter, the mixed martial arts fighter, and they'll say, look, women are tough now.
They're strong.
And you say, no, Rhonda Rousey is tough, strong.
She's anomalous.
And this is something that my friend Jeremy, our producer, and I talk about all the time, is how in movies they want to show a strong woman, they'll show her punch a man in the face and he'll go rolling out the door.
It's just not that way.
When a woman punches a man in the face, he breaks her hand and then he kills her.
And that's why, you know, over the weekend I saw this film, Love and Mercy, just a really good film.
I seriously recommend this about Brian Wilson and the Beach Boys.
And Elizabeth Banks, is that her name?
That wrote it down, so I make sure I got it right.
Elizabeth Banks plays this woman, Belinda Ledbetter.
And it's a true story, although it's told from their point of view, so I can't vouch for the facts of it.
You want to see a female hero.
You want to see what a woman hero looks like.
Watch this picture.
By the end of this picture, Paul Giamatti plays kind of the villain of the piece.
And there's a confrontation between the two of them where if I weren't sitting alone on my sofa, I would have stood up and cheered.
She is so, you want to see female strength, you want to see feminine courage.
Listen to Her Rescue00:05:44
Take a look at this.
And I'm sure if I said that to a feminist, I'm sure she would say, you know, oh, well, you only say that because she's rescuing a man.
Well, that's what heroes do.
They rescue people.
And she is rescuing a man.
And it's an amazing thing.
And she's doing it as only a woman would do it and as only a woman could do it.
And you want to see a hero so much different than in these films where these women punch men and men fall over, which is utterly ridiculous.
That was a digression, but it's my show, so don't interrupt me while I digress.
Let's take a look.
I want to take a look at another terrific Englishman along with Milo Yiannopoulos, Charlie Cook.
Charlie Cook, I met Charlie on the NRO cruise a couple weeks ago.
Very, very intelligent, quiet, articulate guy.
He was on Morning Joe with the left-wing journalist Mark Halperin.
And Charlie has made a, he's an expert in gun rights, American gun rights, even though he's an Englishman.
And all Cook said was, we don't have an answer to this problem.
People keep posing this, making speeches as if they have the answer, and it's only those nasty conservatives on the other side who stop them, but we really don't know.
It's a complicated issue, and we don't have any answers.
Mark Halperin, the left-wing journalist from Time magazine, answered him.
And just listen, I'm not saying Halperin's a bad guy, but just listen to what he says.
Listen to his response to Charlie and what followed.
There's no question it's difficult.
I just want to engage Charles a little bit in a civil way.
You know, everyone in the country in a leadership position, journalism, politics, et cetera, should be evincing a thirst and a hunger and a passion to try to come up with solutions.
To just talk about how other people's solutions won't work, or this is a complicated sociological issue.
I just don't think that's enough.
I completely agree with the president.
People need to find solutions to this and not talk about what won't work and that it's so complicated.
We can't be the only country in the world that's like this.
All right, well then with respect, what's your plan?
Well, I think that finding solutions are short-term in terms of legislation, state and federal, but then also coming up with ideas.
But which ideas, Mark?
Well, we can talk about specific policy in a second, but let me just finish the second point.
You know, you say part of the issue involves young men.
Well, again, public policy people should come up with ideas longer term to try to deal with the question of what is causing young men to do this and how can we stop that they should.
It's just that.
So you don't have any more ideas than I do.
But I'm saying, well, I'm not an expert.
This goes on until Mika Brzezinski, is that her name?
The woman co-host of Morning Joe, can't stand it anymore.
And she says, well, I just think there should be ideas.
And she starts kind of ranting.
And of course, what Charlie is saying is true.
But what's interesting about what Halperin is saying is he's not making any suggestion, except that we be impassioned, except that we let our emotions carry away our thoughts, except the only suggestion he is making is that don't, Charlie, damn it, don't take away our emotionalism so we can abuse your Second Amendment rights.
If you're not emotional, then we can't take your guns away.
That's basically all he's arguing for.
All he's arguing for is emotion, which just happens to be the subject of my video, the LiveWire video I did.
Let's take a look at this, because I think it just happened to come out before the Oregon shooting, and what followed the Oregon shooting followed the script almost exactly.
Take a look.
Another tragic incident this week, an innocent left-wing narrative was gunned down by a vicious barrage of information.
Concerned-looking leftists are once again calling for new restrictions and even an outright ban on a form of ammunition they consider dangerous and unnecessary.
The facts.
Trigger warning.
I'm Andrew Klavan, and this is Live One.
There's been yet another mass slaughter of left-wing ideas by a wild-eyed conservative wielding an unlicensed fact.
In the...
In the wake of the violence, Democrats and other anti-constitutionalists have once again issued a ringing call for a complete ban on reality.
This has got to stop, said President Obama.
I come here today while our grief is still fresh so that I might exploit your emotions before some crazy right-winger starts randomly peppering our national conversation with actual knowledge.
You can stop it there.
It goes on hilariously for another few minutes.
Where do people find this if they want to watch this?
Does anybody know?
I'm talking to the entire staff of the Daily Wire.
Does nobody know where you find my videos?
DailyWire.com.
DailyWire.com.
Where can't they find it?
Where can't they find it?
Exactly.
You just stare at your computer and say my name three times, and I'll be there.
It'll be like that horror movie.
Anyway, that's all that's being said by the left.
We just want to engage your emotions.
Obviously, the grief that people feel is a great time to do it.
And take your guns.
And my personal opinion, I don't even agree with Milo.
I think everything Milo said about men is true.
I think that a better culture, a culture more welcoming to masculinity would cut down on gun violence, but these mass shootings are all about mental health.
Nobody wants to engage that because it doesn't engage people's emotions because nobody cares, left or right, about improving the treatment of people with mental illness.
And so nobody will do anything.
If we let ourselves be engaged by our passions instead of our minds, we're not going to solve the problem.
The problem could be solved by changing the way we treat mentally ill people.
Ghost Stories00:03:50
Let me close, as always, with stuff I like.
You know, we need a musical introduction for stuff I like.
When I say stuff I live, exactly.
I was hoping it would be something like beep beep beep.
So now it's time.
It's October, so we're going to do Halloween stuff I like all month long.
I love scary stories.
I love ghost stories and the kinds of things that I love, just so I make it clear what I'm recommending, because I don't want anybody to be disappointed.
I don't want anybody to follow this up and read or see the movie that I recommend and not find it that it's not to their liking.
I don't like horror.
I don't mind it.
There are some horror stories I like.
I thought Halloween was a great movie, and maybe I'll talk about Halloween at some point.
I have a lot of interesting ideas about that film.
The Night of the Living Dead, one of the great horror films of all time.
And, oh, there are a bunch of, oh, and the first Texas Chainsaw Massacre, an amazing horror film.
But that's not really what I love.
What I love are ghost stories.
And ghost stories are much more subtle.
They're something that just send a little shudder up the back of your neck, just very quiet feeling of unease.
There's a wonderful collection of ghost stories by Roald Dahl.
Everybody knows Roald Dahl because he wrote Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and Matilda on these great children's books.
But he was also a writer of very, very macabre stories, including one called The Landlady, which, talk about stuff I like, is a really, really frightening story.
And he did a great collection of ghost stories in which he went out and read over 800 ghost stories and found out how hard they are.
They're just really tough to make a good one because it's so subtle and so quiet.
So I'm going to begin.
My first stuff, Halloween stuff I like, is going to be short stories because I think the short story is where all the best ghost stories are told.
I think movies come in second, but short stories are the first line of great ghost stories.
So let me just recommend three terrific writers.
Montague Rhodes James, M.R. James.
He wrote Ghost Stories of an Antiquary.
He was an Edwardian right around 1900.
He was a Cambridge medievalist professor.
And every Christmas, after they would all gather for the service, the kids and friends would come back to his room and he would read them that year's ghost stories.
They are the classic British ghost stories.
Also, by the way, the British are the ones who do this better than anybody else.
And women, by the way, speaking of women, do it fantastically well, who are really talented at ghost stories.
But M.R. James wrote warning to the curious, the mesotent, the ash tree.
Try the ash tree.
That's the simplest one.
I know he's an Edwardian writer, so his language is going to be a little thicker than typical American writers, but he's really worth taking a look at.
Second one, E.F. Benson.
E.F. Benson is known because he wrote Map and Lucia books, which I have never been able to get through.
They're kind of, I don't know, flighty society novels.
But he was a spectacular ghost writer, and everyone knows he wrote a ghost story that became an urban legend.
He wrote it, and then it became an urban legend.
It was called The Bus Conductor.
And you've seen it on Twilight Zone probably, old Twilight Zone episodes.
Remember the one where they say there's room for one more?
She goes down to the morgue, and the guy at the morgue says there's room for one more.
That's the bus conductor.
And every time you've heard that story around a campfire, somebody gets on an airplane and the guy says, oh, there's room for one more.
Every time you've heard it, that's E.F. Benson writing that short story.
He also wrote one called The Room in the Tower, which is terrifying.
And finally, there's Robert Aikman.
Robert Aikman wrote a story called Ringing the Changes.
He's a modern master.
The Cicerone, my pal John Miller, wrote a great piece about him for the Wall Street Journal.
M.R. James, E.F. Benson, Robert Aikman, stuff I like.
Great, great ghost story writers, and we'll talk about ghost story movies and other ghost story stuff later on.
That's it.
The life of the mind.
You are now freed from the life of the mind to go back to your slovenly gutter lives that you live without thinking.