All Episodes
Jan. 22, 2026 - The Joe Rogan Experience
02:54:20
Joe Rogan Experience #2442 - Ehsan Ahmad
Participants
Main
e
ehsan ahmad
01:09:31
j
joe rogan
01:35:27
Appearances
f
fred rogers
01:21
j
jamie vernon
02:14
Clips
s
shane gillis
00:10
|

Speaker Time Text
Violent Interactions with Criminals 00:15:11
unidentified
Joe Rogan podcast, check it out!
The Joe Rogan experience.
Trade by Day, Joe Rogan, podcast by night, all day!
joe rogan
Hey, fella.
Hey, what's going on, brother?
ehsan ahmad
Good to be back, Joe.
Good to see you, as always.
This time, I have something to actually promote.
joe rogan
Well, you're always promoting.
So, I mean, any kind of appearance is sort of a promotion because you're promoting the audience gets to see you.
ehsan ahmad
Right.
unidentified
Right?
ehsan ahmad
Right.
You know, it was so funny because it got me thinking.
So I started watching Patrice's Opie and Anthony appearances because there's a list of them on Spotify.
And what was so funny to me was like, you know how they have these like, these group of like mentally disabled people that they kind of fuck with.
joe rogan
Opie and Anthony?
ehsan ahmad
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like a carousel.
It's like kind of mean.
joe rogan
It's kind of horrible.
unidentified
Yeah.
ehsan ahmad
It's kind of like, ooh, I'm kind of glad we're past that.
But what made me laugh is every single one of them at the end of the thing was like, and here's my website.
unidentified
I had a website.
ehsan ahmad
And I was like, damn, I've been on the Joe Rogan experience twice and I don't even have a website.
joe rogan
You didn't have a website?
ehsan ahmad
I didn't have a website.
This is the first time I had a website.
joe rogan
Wow.
What did you do?
Did you make it yourself?
ehsan ahmad
No, I realized like, oh, I got to pay people to do stuff like that.
That's out of my wheelhouse of things I can do.
Ironically, I'm terrible with technology for a guy who looks like me.
joe rogan
There's some things you could do.
Like Squarespace has a great setup.
It's pretty easy to do.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, but I think that's just pure, it's like pure laziness almost on my end for sure.
And a little bit like, I spend so much time on my, like, my brain space in this is dedicated to my jokes.
I don't, I kind of shut out everything else.
joe rogan
It's a fun time to be alive.
One of the things is really, that's really exciting about the mothership is for someone like me who's been doing comedy for so long, it's really exciting to watch people's careers launch.
You know, like see guys like Cam Patterson go from getting a spot on Kill Tony to being a regular on Kill Tony to being on fucking Saturday Night Live.
Boom.
ehsan ahmad
It's crazy.
Like some of them like Christina Mariani now just like sells out rooms at the comedy store all the time.
She's killing it.
And then you have like Peyton Ruddy and like Dylan Carlino.
These are just guys who are just at the club and just made a way like social media wife.
joe rogan
And you get to see people get just tighter and better like McCusker's new set like we did last night.
Really fucking good, man.
Super solid, really fun.
It's just like, we got a good thing, man.
It's a good thing.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, it's just a fun place to be around.
Everyone just working jokes.
That's what it is, really.
It's so funny.
There is such this narrative outside of the ship about what Austin comedy is.
And it's just really just a bunch of people just doing jokes.
joe rogan
The narrative is only with jealous people.
It's not based on any reality.
It's not based on people who go there and hang out.
unidentified
Right.
ehsan ahmad
Well, it's all with these people who love to talk about Austin, but they don't talk to anyone in Austin.
It's like there's a bunch of comics willing to hang out and talk to you.
joe rogan
I think I've told you this before, but I have a friend of mine who's somewhat of a philosopher, an online friend.
I don't even know what he looks like.
We've been going back and forth for years.
But he warned me about this a long time ago.
He said, you've created a walled garden.
And he goes, and you've got all these friends and you're all supporting each other and you're all having fun.
But there's a lot of people that feel on the outside and they feel like left out of it.
And so they're like, fuck those people.
That party sucks.
You know, it's kind of along those lines.
And, you know, if you could find some connections to other negative things, you know, like me and Tony, we have this connection to Trump and so does Shane.
And, you know, there's all sorts of that.
Oh, fucking, you got to be a right-winger to be.
And then the narrative comes up.
Oh, you got to tell jokes about fucking trans people.
You have to get.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
You can't be a liberal.
You can't be a this.
You can't be like.
ehsan ahmad
Well, the whole like, you have to be a right-winger.
That's like, to me, that's like massive projection.
There are these spaces where, like, if you're a right-winger in comedy, like, there's like leftist spaces that you just can't be in.
joe rogan
For sure.
You'll get pushed out.
Right.
You'll get treated badly, more importantly.
Whereas at the mothership, like that fucking green room, like 80% of the time, it's mostly like progressive people.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah.
Oh, and left-wing people.
A lot of people, most of the people who work there are mostly left-wing.
Yeah, it's a place where it's a place where, but because right-wing people, I guess, are allowed to be here or like also allowed to be here.
It's all of a sudden this right-wing Nazi haven.
joe rogan
Well, it's also like, what does that even mean?
ehsan ahmad
Right.
joe rogan
Like, what is right-wing?
Like, because you don't think that that candidate and what they were doing by like storming the fucking gates with illegal immigrants.
You don't think that was a good idea?
You don't think like rampant spending completely unchecked with no documentation like what's going on in California?
You don't think that's a bad thing?
ehsan ahmad
Tim Walt is doing.
joe rogan
I mean, it's so, there's so much of it, man.
But then it's also like, yeah, what ICE is doing, like, fucking shooting that lady seems kind of crazy.
You know, like grabbing people that happen to be American citizens and fucking dragging them out onto the snow and asking them for their papers.
That seems kind of fucking crazy, too.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, that seems insane.
joe rogan
But it's also like they have a crazy job.
Like, imagine you're an ICE agent.
Just imagine what happened.
Okay.
So we tried, we used our sponsor Perplexity the other day and tried to figure out through AI what the exact number is.
But when you deep dive, you realize they don't know the number.
They really have like an estimate of interactions with illegal immigrants.
And it's somewhere around 11 million for four years, which is fucking wild.
That's 10 Austins at least of illegal immigrants were allowed to get in this country, aided to get in this country, and then moved to states.
They moved them.
They flew them out to certain swing states.
Like this is all Mike Benz has documented all this stuff.
You can see they gave him EBT cards.
So imagine, you can imagine two things.
One, imagine you're one of those people.
You're like, dude, they're asking me to come.
This is awesome.
Now I'm in America.
I'm going to get a good job.
I'm going to be able to support my family.
And then all of a sudden you have these fucking dudes in bulletproof vests looking for you on the streets.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah.
Yeah.
joe rogan
I thought you said it was okay.
I thought the Red Cross gave me a map.
I was, you gave me a fucking cell phone and now you're hunting me.
unidentified
Right.
ehsan ahmad
Now you're just like caught in a crossfire.
joe rogan
But now imagine the ICE agents.
Okay.
This is your job.
Your job is to go out and find these people.
And one of the things you don't get about this, it's like, because there was like a recent clip of mine that got like highlighted where I was criticizing ICE.
One of the things that you don't think about when you're into this is just like regular police interactions.
The ones that you see online are the horrible ones.
So you think all cops are horrible.
What you miss is the millions of interactions that people have with cops.
Like, how you doing today, sir?
Good, sir.
How you doing?
Can I see your paperwork?
Sure.
Here it is.
You in a hurry?
I fucked up.
I'm late for work.
You know, all right, man.
Just slow down.
Go.
Like, all right, thanks, brother.
Everything's nice.
That happens too.
Like, there's nice interactions with cops.
There's people that save people from bad guys.
It happens all the time.
There's people that are thankful that they called the police and they stopped the burglar who is breaking into their fucking mom's house or whatever it is.
ehsan ahmad
Right.
joe rogan
There's so many more of those, but you're not seeing those videos.
And so with the ICE thing, what you're only seeing and you're only hearing about American citizens that have been arrested, the lady that got shot, you're hearing about all these negative annotations.
What you're not hearing about is the number of violent criminals that they've caught.
And it's a lot.
It's in the thousands.
It's not like thousands of American citizens have been shipped out to other countries.
No, it's like net positive if you look at it that way.
Like, see if you can find out how many, because I know there's probably going to be a bunch of various sources that are not totally accurate.
But find out, like, what are the number of violent criminals they've caught since they started doing this?
ehsan ahmad
Well, also, also, there is a question on this is how I, because I know this is how they recruit some ICE agents.
It's just like their ads on local TV just offering like in the UFC, there's an ICE ad.
Yeah, and it's like, these aren't just like also regular people.
How much training are they really getting?
joe rogan
Right.
ehsan ahmad
Because when you watch the shooting video, you're like, why is the guy shooting also recording with his phone?
Like, there's no way that's like anything you're trained to do.
joe rogan
His own safety, like, just to make sure that you could see this lady's unhinged.
Is he not wearing a body camera?
He's not a cop, right?
So I bet he's not wearing a body camera.
Yeah, I bet that's why.
I bet that's why I filmed it.
And also, that same guy, turns out, was dragged by a car just recently.
So, like, he almost lost his life, or someone did try to run him over.
He's hang on to a car for dear life.
I think he got dragged.
ehsan ahmad
300 feet.
He got dragged 300 feet.
joe rogan
That's crazy.
300 feet is, that's a long way to get dragged.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah.
unidentified
Right?
joe rogan
You know, you 100%.
There's a full possibility that you may die.
There's no single public record number of violent criminals captured by ICE raids just over the last few months.
And available data suggests those cases are relatively small share of recent ICE arrests and detentions.
One analysis, ICE internal data, said that only 5% to 8% of the people booked to ICE detention late 2025 and early fiscal year 2026 had violent or serious property crime convictions.
But even if it's 8%, they've gotten rid of a half a million people already.
And then 1.6 million voluntarily deported.
So in a half a million people, 8% is a lot.
That's a lot of violent criminals.
So this is weirdly phrased.
As of January 2020, I would say 8% is a lot.
Like if you have cancer in 8% of your body, I would say you're fucked.
You know what I'm saying?
Like if they're saying, oh, it's only been 8% that are violent criminals.
That's a lot of people.
ehsan ahmad
But now the question is, are these 8% and then the non-violent people sent to the same place?
joe rogan
Ooh, that's a good question.
ehsan ahmad
You know what I mean?
Because you do want the violent criminals out, but then I don't want the non-violent criminals to be sent or not or non-violent people who are here to be sent to a prison.
joe rogan
Exactly.
It says ICE no longer voluntarily publishes detailed case-level arrest breakdowns by offense type and independent projects.
So imagine if you're a dude from Mexico that just walked up here because you wanted a better job and then they shove you in a prison.
ehsan ahmad
And now, yeah, in some prisoners.
joe rogan
And you never did anything bad your whole life.
And now you're in some, well, the El Salvador thing, are they still doing that?
ehsan ahmad
I don't, that I don't know.
joe rogan
That was a bad, that's bad optics.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah.
I mean, there's a lot of optics is the optics with ICE has been terrible.
joe rogan
It says recent enforcement has involved thousands of arrests nationwide, but available analysis consistently indicate that only a small minority of those.
Is that in italics?
No.
Is it?
ehsan ahmad
Is it?
Maybe.
joe rogan
Weird, right?
ehsan ahmad
Yeah.
joe rogan
It looks a little funky.
No.
No, it's not.
It's just that's perplexity showing its bias.
Small minority of those, that's a tone of those in ICE detention arrested by ICE in late 2025 and early 2026 have violent criminal convictions.
Most have no convictions.
But when they sing small minority, they indicated previously that that's 8%.
That still means a lot of human beings.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah.
Yeah.
joe rogan
That's a lot of violent human beings.
If you could sign a piece of paper that said that, you know, we're going to allow a bunch of people into this country, most of them have no violent convictions, but about 8% of them are monsters, evil, sociopathic murderers, drug dealers.
8% is a giant-ass fucking number.
Right.
That's a giant ass number.
unidentified
Right.
joe rogan
The real problem is that they have to do this.
This is a real problem.
Because the Democrats did what they did.
They did a crazy thing.
They opened the border up and told people the border was open and then let people.
And then when people tried to stop them from doing it, they used court orders.
Like, what was that thing they did down in Texas at the border?
ehsan ahmad
Oh, yeah, because Abbott tried to put up something, some like wall or something.
joe rogan
But they said, you can't stop this.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah.
joe rogan
Which is, wait a minute, you can't stop people from breaking the law.
Like, what are you saying?
There's a method to stop this and you don't want it stopped?
ehsan ahmad
Right.
joe rogan
Because the dirty secret is the census doesn't count citizens.
It counts everybody.
It even counts illegals.
So if you live in a community that's half illegal aliens, you get way more congressional seats from that district than if you are in a community where all those people don't count.
They said that, I think they said that California, if the census did, see if we can find out what the number is.
But if the census did not count illegal immigrants in California, I think they would lose a shocking number of seats.
ehsan ahmad
Right.
joe rogan
Which is kind of crazy here.
You're rigging politics by moving humans into place.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, well, you got to do something.
It's a very, something that no one really talks about a lot is like the Democrats, every single minority group shifted right in 2024.
joe rogan
Right.
ehsan ahmad
Every single one.
And no one really is like actually trying to figure out why that's happening.
They're like, well, if we just import more people, we can overcome that deficit.
joe rogan
But they could.
They could.
If it was successful, they could overwhelm the political process.
They could make it just like it's California forever, where you get half the people are like massively disgruntled and so confused about the politics, but they're stuck there.
And that would be the whole country.
It would essentially be that kind of a thing.
And then they do what they do in England and what they do in Canada was they slowly start clamping down on your rights.
unidentified
Right.
joe rogan
And England starts arresting people for social media posts.
ehsan ahmad
Well, you know, hopefully that the free speech stuff is so ingrained in who we are as a people.
Because England, like at the end of the day, it's not like that country was built on that principle.
joe rogan
This says that they would only lose two house seats.
It says California would lose, I called it Canada, Freudian, would lose an order of one to two House seats if people in the state without legal status were not counted in the census used for appointment based on recent expert simulations.
All right.
What's this?
Here's the thing.
Like, how many illegals are in California?
Estimating Undocumented Populations 00:02:15
joe rogan
Let's find that out.
Like, what is the estimated number?
Put that in there, Jamie.
What's the estimated number of illegals in California?
I don't know where I'd be without this kind of shit.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
I'm so hooked on using like perplexity for any question I have all throughout the day.
It's like my smart friend.
ehsan ahmad
It's like better Wikipedia because it can really like you can use it as like way better than Wikipedia.
joe rogan
Yeah, because you can ask the entire internet.
And sometimes it does catch some bullshit articles in there and says it might be this.
And you're like, wait a minute, let me go to that article.
That might be bullshit.
Because it's only pulling from the internet, right?
ehsan ahmad
Undocumented 2.8 million in 2007.
Yeah, that would be around two seats, right?
Because there's like 30 million in California.
joe rogan
Something like that.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah.
joe rogan
Yeah.
That makes a difference.
And then you do the same thing in Seattle.
Do the same thing in wherever places you have massive numbers of undocumented people.
Cow, um, uh, Ohio is a big one.
You know, this is one of the reasons why they had this thing where, like, why are there so many Haitians in Ohio?
Well, what do you think?
I think they just decided that Ohio's a spot and they all had a group WhatsApp chat.
Yeah, and they all went there.
No, probably somebody's moving them there.
Yeah, this is a swing state.
ehsan ahmad
It was funny when the Somalian thing when Walt was like, this is white supremacy.
joe rogan
It was crazy.
ehsan ahmad
Everybody's like, hey, but then who's the most supreme white man in the state, governor?
joe rogan
You bitch.
unidentified
Yeah.
ehsan ahmad
Like, that's a crazy Freudian slip.
joe rogan
But it's also like, what a crazy attempt at misdirection.
White men commit most of the crimes.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, that's part.
I think I told you that's part of the reason why I think minority groups are shifting away because it's like, one, I don't think that's something the whole victimhood mentality, that's not something that minority groups really experience or like value.
joe rogan
Especially not minority groups that are immigrants that are in the middle of the hustle.
unidentified
Right.
joe rogan
We got to go to work.
ehsan ahmad
Like we got to overcome.
That's the whole point.
Regardless of the hand, you're dealt.
You got to just play it and overcome.
And so that victimhood mentality really kind of pushes people away from the left, I think, in that manner.
Autopsy Of Aging 00:06:46
ehsan ahmad
And then like, you know, when Biden was like, you know, if you don't vote for me, you're not black.
It's like, that's kind of how they, that's kind of how they view the minority vote.
It's a hostage vote.
It's like, vote for us or else.
joe rogan
Yeah.
ehsan ahmad
It's like, no one likes that energy coming towards them.
And they'll lash out and go in a different direction.
joe rogan
Such a wild thing to say.
ehsan ahmad
I mean, unbelievably funny.
Unbelievably funny.
Man.
joe rogan
It's just, I can't believe he fucking said it.
He's so crazy.
Said it with that fucking crazy pulled back face.
And it's like, this is madness.
Whatever they did to him to make him try to look younger.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah.
joe rogan
Doesn't work, kids.
unidentified
Doesn't work.
ehsan ahmad
Oh, my God.
All that.
joe rogan
We know what you used to look like.
You're on TV all the time.
And all of a sudden, you have a completely different face.
Like, your face is different.
Like, everything's pulled back and looks.
It doesn't look like anybody normal that's 80 years old.
ehsan ahmad
No, all plastic surgery ages.
Like, you look like an alien when you're old.
There's just no way around it.
I don't know who lip fillers are for because I don't know any guy who's like, yeah, I like that look like that much, but it's crazy how they age.
joe rogan
The facial fillers are crazy too because sometimes those things become a problem and then you got to get them removed.
ehsan ahmad
Well, now they're doing that buckle fat thing where they look like ghouls at the time.
joe rogan
Why would they do that?
Why would they take fat out of their face?
Fat in your face is what makes you look youthful.
What are those ladies going to look like when they hit their 60s?
ehsan ahmad
They're going to look like ghosts.
joe rogan
Maybe.
ehsan ahmad
Because their face is going to be all sunken in.
joe rogan
By the time they're 60, I think medicine is going to be at a level where they're going to be able to reverse aging.
They're pretty close to being able to do that.
They've already done some stuff with mice and they've done some stuff where they're understanding what genes are causing you to have these problems, what things could be done to mitigate it.
And they're treating aging not like an inevitable aspect of life, but as like a disease that you get over time.
ehsan ahmad
Right.
joe rogan
Instead of like accepting the fact that your body's going to age at a very specific rate and then when you're 60, it's going to suck.
When you're 70, it'll suck worse.
Instead, it's like, what's causing that?
Let's reverse what's causing it.
And, you know, essentially, if you can do that, and I think they can, if they can't do it now, they're going to be able to do it.
Whoa.
ehsan ahmad
Jesus.
joe rogan
What happened?
Okay, but this is like day one.
This lady just had surgery.
jamie vernon
Popped up on my feet a few times.
joe rogan
She's 69, almost 70.
Holy shit.
That lady does not look even close to 69 or 70.
unidentified
Is that true?
ehsan ahmad
That's kind of uncanny.
joe rogan
Is that true?
Is that Dr. Crazy?
He's making it up.
ehsan ahmad
She's like, I'm fucking 40, asshole.
It just feels like one of those human dolls.
joe rogan
What did she look like before?
jamie vernon
There you go.
ehsan ahmad
Oh, there's the before.
joe rogan
Whoa, that's the same lady?
Bro, that's crazy.
You could pick her up at a bar, and then you're like, why do you smell old?
ehsan ahmad
God, that's crazy.
joe rogan
You know what that old people smell?
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, the mothball smell.
unidentified
Sprayed perfume all over their body.
joe rogan
I remember there was this episode of that show Autopsy.
Did you ever see that show Autopsy?
There's this guy, Michael Badden, and he's a famous forensic scientist that examines cases and says, This is actually a murder.
And he catches people.
And one of them was this guy who was really crazy.
And his wife died.
I wonder if it was his wife or a lady he knew died.
I forget the circumstances, but he kept the corpse in his house and had fashioned some kind of an artificial vagina that he attached to the corpse and then had cases of perfume.
And so apparently the body, he just kept fucking it.
ehsan ahmad
Is this like an older guy, an older story?
Yeah, it's like some Cuban doctor, and it was like some girl he fell in love with and then she died.
Yes, right.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
joe rogan
But it wasn't his wife, right?
ehsan ahmad
No, it was like it was like in a plaster case thing and it was a yeah, and fucking crazy.
joe rogan
It had a mask on it.
So it was like a corpse that was like years old with a mask on it and an artificial vagina and cases and cases of perfume.
So this guy's just fucking covering this thing perfuming, getting his fuck on yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
ehsan ahmad
Jamie just said, you gotta find the picture of it.
joe rogan
He even inserted a paper tube into her decrepit corpse to serve as a vagina for making love.
Yeah, that's what I'm talking about.
That's the fake vagina.
I think it was, yeah, it was like something he made.
Like he made something.
ehsan ahmad
Dude, people made it.
joe rogan
He made a thing to fuck.
ehsan ahmad
People go through lengths to get their rocks off.
That's crazy.
That's like ingenuity.
That's like, man, if you had that energy towards anything positive.
joe rogan
You could get to Mars.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, you can finish the phone.
joe rogan
Find us a photo of the corpse.
ehsan ahmad
There we go.
joe rogan
Yeah.
So this.
ehsan ahmad
Oh, no, that's Carl Tanzler.
That's a different guy.
But it's a different one.
But he did the same thing.
joe rogan
Oh, God.
Yeah.
ehsan ahmad
Key West.
joe rogan
Same thing.
Secretly took her body or used French plaster to preserve her skin, rigged wires and hangers to support her skeleton, and then pumped a continuous stream of perfume to mass the stench of the scent of decay.
Disturbing arrangement continued for seven years until it's finally discovered by her sister.
Oh, God.
ehsan ahmad
What a horror story that is.
joe rogan
Oh, God.
You find your sister's body, and it's just there's a continual stream of perfume to keep people from knowing there's a rotted body up there.
ehsan ahmad
Oh, for God.
unidentified
And he did it for years.
joe rogan
God, men are fucked.
unidentified
Well, yeah.
ehsan ahmad
Well, you know, and any sort of like weird predator will end up in that situation where they can do their thing, right?
So like if you like fuck dead bodies, you're going to be in a corpse.
Like, same thing like there's like a like female pedophiles just become middle school teachers.
unidentified
Those in the 30s.
ehsan ahmad
That's what they do.
unidentified
Jeez.
joe rogan
Carl Tanzler.
Oh, God.
And that's Dr. Michael Badden, the HBO show.
That show's awesome, man.
ehsan ahmad
Oh, and he did Epstein's autopsy.
joe rogan
Yeah.
Yeah.
He's one of the ones that said that the wounds were consistent with ligature strangulation, not with hanging.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, we talked about this last time.
joe rogan
Yeah.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, you know, so far.
So I recorded my special on the 25th of October, and I have a bunch of Epstein jokes in there.
And in the meantime, they said they released the files, and I was like, oh, no, but they still haven't released them.
And I was like, oh, thank God the joke still works.
I was like, oh, my God.
Thank God.
Selling Hash and Facilitating Scandals 00:15:52
ehsan ahmad
Because I have like at least two separate times where I bring them up because it was even bigger back then.
joe rogan
Well, it's going to go on for a long time, I suspect.
I mean, they said they released him, but what did they release?
ehsan ahmad
No, they're still not all out yet.
unidentified
What did they release?
joe rogan
Yeah, like it's weird.
The whole thing's weird.
ehsan ahmad
It reminds me of that Onion article where they're like, oh, CIA realizes they've been using a black highlighter this entire time.
It's like that.
It's like, oh, okay, you just blacked out pages.
joe rogan
Redacted the shit out of everything.
It's like, what did they release?
Did they release something recently?
ehsan ahmad
No, they haven't released anything in a minute.
They had that initial release where everything was blacked out, and it was that picture of Winnie the Pooh, which was hilarious.
joe rogan
But isn't there talk about some new releases that are happening soon?
ehsan ahmad
Have they?
It feels like everything's been drowned out by everything else been going on with the Somalians and the ice shooting.
It feels like that's completely drowned out.
Anything about it?
joe rogan
I think some of that's on purpose.
ehsan ahmad
Oh, 100%.
jamie vernon
27 minutes ago, update story.
A federal judge blocked the effort to force the release of more files.
Get that off there.
joe rogan
Okay.
The federal judge, we said it a little bit wrong.
It's the federal judge blocked the lawmaker's effort to force the DOJ to release the Epstein file.
So they're trying to force the DOJ.
jamie vernon
They already were forced to.
They've missed deadlines.
joe rogan
And a federal judge blocked them from forcing them to release it.
So a federal judge said, no, you can't force them to release it, even though you campaigned on it.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Even though you ran on it.
Even though you stood outside of that courthouse with a bunch of binders, we've got it.
Got him.
jamie vernon
He ruled that he lacks jurisdiction to release.
joe rogan
Oh, I see.
unidentified
I see.
joe rogan
Okay, that's a little different.
So the federal judge Wednesday ruled that he lacks jurisdiction to appoint an outside expert to ensure the Justice Department complies with a law that makes all files pertaining to the prosecution of Jeffrey Epstein available for public view.
Okay, that's different.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, but still, the law chess that they play to make sure it still can't come out is pretty crazy impressive.
But the federal jurisdiction are.
joe rogan
But if you're a federal judge, you have to do.
You can't step outside of your boundaries.
ehsan ahmad
Don't they kind of just do that sometimes, though?
joe rogan
Yeah, but you're not supposed to.
Just because some of them are unethical or some of them.
ehsan ahmad
Right, that's fair.
joe rogan
Yeah, I don't understand all this, so I'm going to be charitable about it.
I'm going to be charitable about it, but I just don't understand how anybody can go to jail for sex trafficking when you don't have anybody they sex traffic to.
unidentified
Right.
joe rogan
Like, that don't make any sense.
Like, if I was Ghelain's lawyer, I'd be like, to who?
To who?
Like, how did he not do that?
Like, you want to tell me there's some sort of a compromise trial?
How do you not have a lawyer that goes, who did she sex traffic to?
Right.
ehsan ahmad
That's clearly there's some sort of backdoor deal that was like, hey, spend this time in jail and we won't kill you.
joe rogan
Well, of course.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah.
joe rogan
Or also, she's working with them.
ehsan ahmad
Right.
How would you?
joe rogan
How do you have, I mean, in any way, shape, or form, how do you have a person convicted of a crime when there's like especially that kind of a crime where there's a person that hires you or gives you money or that you use to get influence from and then you sex traffic to them.
So there's another person involved and that other person is completely eliminated from the trial because what?
Because they're billionaires?
Because they're heads of state?
ehsan ahmad
Because they're powerful enough?
joe rogan
Prominent scientists?
What is going?
Like, how is that okay?
That doesn't even make sense that you could get through a whole trial like that.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, but I think that's just a, I was saying this earlier.
I think this is just a function of government.
These like intense like blackmail sex rings that everyone just kind of gets away with it.
joe rogan
Oh, yeah.
It seems like it just happens over and over again.
But it's like, look at it this way.
Imagine if you were selling hash and you had like pounds and pounds of hash at your house and you've been selling hash and you got caught selling hash.
shane gillis
They charge you with distribution and you're like, okay, but distributed to who?
joe rogan
Because you're only selling to like rich, famous people.
You're only selling them to like heads of JP Morgan.
You're selling all your hash to those guys.
And they're like, well, who did he sell the hash to?
Nobody.
Somebody bought $100 million worth of hash, and there's nobody.
You have no person.
That doesn't make any sense.
There's no crime.
So he didn't really sell it.
You could say he possesses it, but maybe intend to distribute.
But if you want to get them for actual distribution and selling of hash, he's got to sell it to somebody.
ehsan ahmad
Man.
joe rogan
At least an undercover agent.
ehsan ahmad
Right.
But like in this situation, it's like, did we ever really think anyone was really going to go to jail for this?
joe rogan
I feel like with continual, constant pressure, it has to slowly leak out.
ehsan ahmad
Man, I wish I was that optimistic about it.
They've done a good job of keeping the names out of the press, even after they said they would leak them.
joe rogan
It says here, FBI and DOJ records from 2019 reference about 10 individuals described as an alleged Epstein co-conspirators, including Maxwell and French modeling agent Jean-Luc Brunel, who died in French custody in 2022.
ehsan ahmad
That's a way to get out of it, too.
It'd be like, oh, she sold it to a dead guy.
joe rogan
Yeah, but it's also, this is not saying that sold it to them.
They're co-conspirators.
So they were probably involved in facilitating.
They were probably involved in acquiring these girls, making connections, because that guy owned a modeling agency.
So he's, or he's a modeling agent.
ehsan ahmad
Right, right.
joe rogan
Right.
So that guy's getting him girls.
So he's a co-conspirator.
It's not saying that he was John.
You know, he was a John that was getting the girls.
He was a co-conspirator.
So there's at least 10 individuals who were also, which makes sense.
If you have this giant blackmail ring, it's not going to be like one guy.
unidentified
Right.
ehsan ahmad
I also find it funny the whole.
We Mark that Mark Epstein guy, his just brother, came out of nowhere for like a little bit, for a little bit yeah, first of all, what do you mean?
A brother that just knows everything that happened, because he came out and said that wasn't like the the, the email.
That was like, oh Clinton Trump, sun suck Clinton's dick.
Yeah, he was like no, Bubba wasn't Clinton, but you didn't say he didn't suck someone's dick, it wasn't Clinton.
joe rogan
Trump sucks some guy named Bubba's dick, some truck driver.
What is what you just showed?
jamie vernon
Him disappeared that a few of those people were protected by the 2008 non-prosecution agreement.
joe rogan
Oh, that little slap on the wrist protected a bunch of people right, and so they continued to be protected.
Is that the idea?
jamie vernon
That's where?
ehsan ahmad
No, I don't know if anybody knows nothing's better in law than a technicality.
joe rogan
Huh, that's a slippery one.
So uh, what did Epstein's brother wind up saying?
ehsan ahmad
He said it wasn't Bubba, and then which?
Which implied that he knew that.
He knew exactly what was going on in the island the whole time and it's just out and about, but he's still saying that Trump sucks someone's dick.
That's yeah, and then he just straight up disappeared.
We just learned about him.
joe rogan
Man, I believe a lot of things.
I do not believe Trump sucks somebody's dick because he doesn't do drugs.
shane gillis
You know what I mean when Charlie Sheen was saying he sucks some guy's dick like okay, Charlie was doing so much crack he was, He was out of his fucking mind.
ehsan ahmad
I feel like that level of power is a drug at that point.
joe rogan
I mean, maybe.
I don't think so.
I don't know.
ehsan ahmad
It's a very good thing.
joe rogan
I'm not sure if I can get Trump to suck a dick.
It just doesn't seem.
That's a guy who's fucked up on drugs.
That's like when Diddy was doing it.
They were all doing drugs.
It's a drug thing, right?
Unless you're a gay man, it's a drug thing to go around sucking dicks.
So we're assuming that Trump's been hiding the gay the entire time.
ehsan ahmad
Not a chance in hell.
That'd be the most impressive hide of all time.
joe rogan
Also, why would he do that?
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, there's no reason.
joe rogan
If you're open and you're gay, side with the fucking Democrats.
Like, that's the move.
You could probably do all the exact same things when you get into office.
unidentified
It's all horseshit.
I tried a follow-up question that does not know who's in charge of Eddie's estate.
joe rogan
It's thinking.
unidentified
Look at it thinking.
ehsan ahmad
Your laptop's about to blow up.
I would stop that.
joe rogan
Fucking drone's about to hit the building.
unidentified
The mothership's going to be on fire tonight when we get there.
ehsan ahmad
So, yeah.
unidentified
Jesus.
joe rogan
Jesus Christ, man.
It's so funny.
It's like, it's an attempted cover-up of corruption that would have been successful in the 70s.
ehsan ahmad
Right.
unidentified
Right?
joe rogan
If they had pulled this shit off in the 70s and the 80s, gone.
ehsan ahmad
Well, the whole Franklin scandal.
unidentified
Sure.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, they killed that reporter.
Yes.
They killed that reporter.
There was definitely some underage sexual thing going on there, and they were like, dead.
You and your son.
That's what you get for fucking around.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
So both of you.
Well, you know, Tucker's talked about this, and a few other people have talked about this.
There's a bunch of secretly gay politicians.
Oh, yeah.
And then there's probably a bunch of secret pedophiles as well.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, I mean, definitely.
joe rogan
For sure.
ehsan ahmad
There's definitely, like, I pulled that once on bottom of the barrel, just secretly gay Republicans.
unidentified
Yeah.
ehsan ahmad
That was my thing.
And then I was like, can you imagine how good that sex feels?
Especially after you spent all day being like, it's bad.
It's wrong.
And then that sex is extra hot.
Yeah, because you're going against God and your party at one time.
joe rogan
Some twink with his converse on.
unidentified
Books.
Yeah.
ehsan ahmad
And then you go back and be like, family value.
Like that level of.
joe rogan
I think there's a lot of them that are putting on a show.
A lot of them.
They're putting on an act, and you're never going to get to know who they really are.
And that's why when something comes out, it's like shocking.
They're all fucking weirdos.
They're all weirdos.
You have to be a weirdo to want to run the.
Or you have to be like this amazing person.
Like, it's two options.
You have to be Gandhi or you have to be a weirdo.
You know what I mean?
ehsan ahmad
And speaker pedophiles.
We had a Speaker of the House that was a pedophile for like eight years.
joe rogan
That's right.
unidentified
Yeah, yeah.
joe rogan
A real one.
ehsan ahmad
A real deal pedophile.
joe rogan
A real deal convicted pedophile.
ehsan ahmad
What was his name again?
unidentified
Haster.
Haster.
ehsan ahmad
I think it might have been Haster.
joe rogan
I think so.
ehsan ahmad
I feel like we should look that up.
joe rogan
I don't look that up.
ehsan ahmad
I don't want to be like, oh, Hastert was like a nice guy and we're calling him a pedophile.
Speak of the house.
joe rogan
He was involved in a very big scandal of it.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, Dennis Hastert.
unidentified
Yeah.
ehsan ahmad
Yes.
It was like some Sandusky shit.
It was at a school that he was teaching at.
joe rogan
Exactly.
Allegations that Senate...
Scroll up a little bit.
unidentified
Sorry, Rosa.
joe rogan
Senate candidate Roy Moore spent his 30s dating, propositioning, and sexually assaulting high school-aged girls was shocking, but not without precedent.
There have been plenty of congressmen who carried on sexual relationships with teenagers from Thomas Jefferson.
That was back when people died when they were 18.
Strom Thurman, perhaps more dastardly Illinois rep Dennis Haster served as Speaker of the House from 99 to 2007.
ehsan ahmad
And a little further down, an additional single agreed that Hastert sodomized a fourth-grade boy in a high school, in a school bathroom, and threatened him if he reported assault.
That's like Sandusky stuff.
Jesus Christ.
joe rogan
Since the statute of limitation had expired on these crimes, Haster was instead convicted of evading bank reporting requirements in order to secretly pay off his victims.
ehsan ahmad
That's so funny.
joe rogan
He served 15 months in prison.
That's it.
Holy shit.
ehsan ahmad
That's so crazy to pay off your victims and not do it in cash.
What yeah, that's a lot of money.
joe rogan
A lot of money.
That's fair.
I bet it was quite a bit of money.
Holy shit, dude.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah.
joe rogan
And just one kid that got a fourth-grade boy in a school bathroom.
How many more did he do that to?
How many just don't want the shame of it coming out publicly?
How many guys are struggling with it right now?
They're 35 years old.
They don't want to tell that story that ruined their life because the speaker of the house fucked them.
ehsan ahmad
Crazy.
joe rogan
And he, so he's not alone.
ehsan ahmad
No.
unidentified
Right?
ehsan ahmad
No.
joe rogan
That's the Franklin scandal.
ehsan ahmad
And there's no way that wasn't uncovered beforehand by people.
Just the way the political machine works.
But that's like sort of like, you get me for this, I'll get you for this.
So you keep that under wraps.
You just have that in your back pocket.
joe rogan
I think it's just part of that game that they play.
ehsan ahmad
Oh, for sure.
joe rogan
It's like Game of Thrones.
unidentified
For sure.
ehsan ahmad
It's definitely.
joe rogan
It really is.
It really is like Game of Thrones.
ehsan ahmad
It's just whorehouses and like House of Cards.
joe rogan
Right?
It sucks that Kevin Spacey got busted because that show ruled.
ehsan ahmad
I know, right?
But, you know, it was so funny because thinking back on it, like, if you look throughout movies, my genuine take before he got busted for this is he plays the greatest villains.
joe rogan
Yes.
ehsan ahmad
He's like the greatest villain actor of all time.
joe rogan
He's the greatest creep.
He's like a brilliant creep, like with darkness behind his eyes.
ehsan ahmad
Oh, yeah, yeah.
joe rogan
Yeah.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah.
joe rogan
And then can turn it on the charm that southern chom for the camera.
How about when he did that fucking weird video in front of the fireplace?
ehsan ahmad
Oh, dude.
joe rogan
Like in character kill him with kindness.
ehsan ahmad
Right after the witness to his case died?
Like another witness to his case died?
unidentified
Yeah.
ehsan ahmad
Like people were dropping or like flies around Spacey.
Crazy.
Real deal villain shit.
joe rogan
Acting out the literal plot lines as the character, being the character while he's tending the fire.
ehsan ahmad
Goes to show you you can still be a, I mean, he's still a genius artist.
unidentified
He's amazing.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, yeah, just like a whole thing.
joe rogan
And in any other time, he would have never gotten caught.
ehsan ahmad
That's just how the machine worked.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
I mean, he's just one of those guys that got an immense amount of power and he was just a dick grabber.
Like, dick.
And I bet a lot of guys were like, okay.
That's the problem with wild pitches.
You know, you fucking swing at every pitch.
You're going to hit a few.
ehsan ahmad
Right.
joe rogan
You know, but he's probably, you know, for all these guys that he grabbed dicks and said, oh, you know, probably drunk, probably fucked up.
How many guys like let him suck their dick?
A lot, I bet.
I bet it was an effective strategy.
ehsan ahmad
Right, especially for famous and holidays.
joe rogan
He did it to gay guys.
But he was like the one guy that the story broke was a young teenager, right?
unidentified
When he's like 14 or something like that.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah.
joe rogan
And they were working together or something like that.
ehsan ahmad
It was definitely a minor.
joe rogan
But it's also like, why is that teenager at a minor with a bunch of drunk gay guys?
Like, hey, where's your dad?
The fuck is going on?
What are you doing there?
But it's, you know, it's not excusing him for doing it.
The thing about people in the gay community is they look very differently at teenage boy, gay teenage boy men relationships than we do at like teenage girl men relationships.
They look at it very differently.
Like Milo got in trouble for that.
Is Milo on his on my podcast was talking about this guy that molested him.
He's like, trust me, I was the predator.
ehsan ahmad
Right.
joe rogan
That's what he said.
That's a crazy thing to say.
But they look at it differently.
ehsan ahmad
Oh, yeah, yeah.
That's a, I remember someone was, I was living in LA, and we had this gay dude who was sleeping on the, you know, we had a bed in the living room for guests to say over.
So he was, he like lived there for like two months.
And they were, we were watching Call Me by Your Name.
And he, it's like a, it's like a, it's Army Hammer and maybe it's Chalamet.
I forgot.
I was in and out.
My roommates were watching it.
But it's like a about a gay story between an older man and a younger boy.
Lynch Way Stories 00:01:40
ehsan ahmad
And yeah, he he would say he said this red like, he was watching it like, oh, this reads like a fan fiction of an older gay dude being in love with like a younger gay guy.
Yeah, it's like a I remember that.
I remember him telling us that.
I'm like, okay, that's interesting.
joe rogan
Well, I mean, it kind of makes sense, right?
Because we think very differently of like a high school football player that winds up banging a really hot science teacher.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah.
joe rogan
You know, you're not mad.
You're just like, this is crazy.
That lady's crazy.
She's 35.
She's got two kids.
She fucks a 17-year-old boy in the bathroom.
unidentified
Yeah.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, I said that earlier.
Female pedophiles become teachers.
That is what they do.
They find the way.
joe rogan
It's very, very, very different than the scenario of like the football coach that's banging the cheerleader.
That's crazy.
Yeah, that's what makes you want to lynch him.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, that's the way it grows.
joe rogan
It's weird, right?
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
It is weird.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah.
It's like, yeah, with every, every time there is that, there's a South Park episode about it.
Every time you hear that story about, you know, the older teacher fucking the young boy, every guy's kind of like, nice.
unidentified
Yeah.
ehsan ahmad
Well, you know what?
joe rogan
The best joke about it was Zach Alfanakis.
He said, do you hear the boy died?
Yeah, his friends high-fived him to death.
ehsan ahmad
Man, that live at the Purple Onion.
Oh, fantastic.
That was a fucking great special.
joe rogan
What is he doing these days?
Rappaport's Farm Life 00:15:15
ehsan ahmad
I have no idea.
He was on that show for a while in FX Baskets.
That was really good about the clown.
Louie Anderson won the Emmy on it.
joe rogan
He owns a farm somewhere.
He has like a farm.
I think he's like, he's very smart.
Have you ever talked to him?
ehsan ahmad
I've never met him.
I've never.
The only time I saw him, the only time I saw him live was at Brody's Memorial.
joe rogan
Yeah, he was real tight with Brody.
He is one of the ways that I found out that Brody was off his meds.
He contacted me.
Do you remember that one time when Brody got real kind of like almost aggressive crazy and was like yelling at people in the audience sometimes?
And it got weird.
It wasn't like performance arty anymore.
It was like, what's happening with Brody?
And then he got back and he bounced it out.
But Brody had like a legit problem.
Whatever it was, whatever his mental health issue was.
He needed medication.
Like he was legit crazy.
And Zach contacted me and said, it seems like Brody's off his meds, so just don't engage with him.
ehsan ahmad
Damn.
joe rogan
I was like, damn.
ehsan ahmad
Damn.
joe rogan
So it's like, you got to kind of figure out a way to corral him, get him back on his stuff.
ehsan ahmad
But man, when he was in that main room, when he was in that main room, and what was left of the crowd was rocking with him.
It was just so much fun just watching him play drums.
joe rogan
He came into the improv one night.
We were doing a later show, so it was like a 10 o'clock show, and he was on late.
And the show was kind of petering out.
You know how it does.
At the time, it was probably like about half full.
And then, ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Brody Stevens.
Brody takes his shirt off and starts swinging it around in the air like a flag.
He goes through the crowd.
Let's go.
Energy.
And then, like, he just gets everybody fired up.
He immediately breaks out the drumsticks, starts fucking drumming on the seat, and then starts telling jokes and just changed the whole tempo of the room.
Like, everything lit up.
It was awesome.
It was like, that's what Brody can do.
With pure charisma and talent and just personality.
ehsan ahmad
And anytime I see him, like, anytime I see a person in the audience like this, all arms crossed, negative.
That's all I can think.
That's all I can think.
It's like, wow, you are giving me negative energy right now for no reason.
For no reason.
You're at a show.
Come and enjoy it.
You know, especially when you see it, because I cold open a lot.
You see it like, like, you see people be like, why are you?
Why'd you come here?
Like, impress me.
Like, you're already here.
Just enjoy.
Enjoy the energy.
joe rogan
It's a little sometimes for people to loosen up.
You have the hardest job when we do those Joe Rogan and Friends shows and you cold open.
I've only cold opened a few times over the last few years.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah.
joe rogan
And over the last 10 years.
It's hard.
You got to hypnotize those people.
You got to slowly work your way into the rhythm of jokes.
unidentified
Oh, yeah.
ehsan ahmad
You have to sort of like, I like it because it's energy matching.
Like, you have to find out where they are, catch onto them, and then bring them to the energy that you want.
joe rogan
You know who's really good at it?
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Hans Kim.
ehsan ahmad
Oh, yeah, yeah.
joe rogan
Really good.
ehsan ahmad
It's just straight jokes.
joe rogan
It's just straight jokes.
And he's funny looking.
You know, like he's got a big smile on his face.
Like he's having fun.
You kind of get into his groove real quick.
And, you know, he did so many arenas with me in so many big places.
And he was the perfect guy because he would just go, let me tell you something about myself.
And then right away, he would take control of the room.
It was awesome.
ehsan ahmad
Derek's great at bringing him in, too.
It's fun watching.
It's fun watching the different people, like their different cold open strategies.
joe rogan
Derek is just like getting everybody fired up and excitement.
And he's so lovable.
He's got, again, so much charisma.
unidentified
Right.
Yeah.
ehsan ahmad
But it's the cold opening for as long as I have done and my career, even pre this club, it's just, it made me, I feel like so much stronger.
Because like almost like running with ankle weights on.
And then now, like, leading up to me releasing the Too Soon, I was like, oh, I was like, all these spots I was getting at the end of the shows.
These were material.
This is all material that I tested at the beginning of Rogan and Friends, which, especially at the beginning of the club, a lot of people were like, wait, you're not Rogan talking to a friend.
Like, they thought they were coming to a live podcast, but, you know, it took a while before the shows were like, oh, yeah, this is a stand-up show.
unidentified
Really?
joe rogan
Yeah.
People thought it was going to be a podcast?
ehsan ahmad
At the very beginning, there were some episodes where you had to introduce the concept of this is going to be stand-up.
Crazy.
Yeah, now it's not like that.
But at the very beginning, it for sure was.
But it was like, I felt my material was battle-tested.
joe rogan
Well, it certainly is.
That's the running with weights is a great analogy.
That's exactly what it is.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, it makes the jokes so much stronger.
joe rogan
You know what else is really good for your act?
Is hosting.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah.
joe rogan
Because you go up so often.
Like, one of the things that really helped a lot of guys at the store was hosting potluck.
Because, you know, you have to, there's all this chaos.
Someone just bombed.
Something crazy just happened.
Someone just did something completely fucking insane.
You have a chance to make fun of it.
ehsan ahmad
Reset the room.
joe rogan
Reset the room.
And there's a comfort level that comes because you're essentially doing stand-up from 8 p.m. to 2 a.m.
unidentified
Yes.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, when I first started doing, when I lived in, first was a door guy in Hollywood, Derek was booking the Madhouse, and I would come down and host the weekend shows.
So every day I'd host from every weekend or two weekends a month, I would host from 5 to 2 in the morning because you'd host the open mic afterwards.
And you just host the entire night.
It's a full day's worth of hosting.
joe rogan
That's awesome.
Yeah.
ehsan ahmad
It's like, it's, because the opening spots suck, but like, they make you better.
It's the ones that suck that make you better.
joe rogan
It's definitely, well, you realize like where the sloppy parts of your bits are.
Like you're saying them, you're like, ew.
ehsan ahmad
Right.
joe rogan
You know, like it gets you.
You're like, ooh.
Right.
Like, whereas when the crowd's popping and they're laughing and everything, they want to laugh.
You can get that through and it'll actually get a laugh.
But then when like it's quiet, it's the beginning of the show, you realize, oh, this bit sucks.
ehsan ahmad
Right.
joe rogan
Like, oh, I got to bring this bit to the garage.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, I gotta not put it up front.
What was I thinking?
joe rogan
I gotta tighten this motherfucker up.
But it's, you know, there's plenty of other spots.
That's the beautiful thing.
I mean, we're running four shows a night every night.
ehsan ahmad
And there's so much around the scene.
There's so much.
I was telling someone in LA, it's like, oh, if I chose not to get up 10 spots in front of an audience member in a week at the very least, then I chose that because it's so easy to just go out and get spots.
There's so much people and like around in downtown alone, there's like 12 dedicated comedy rooms.
It's insane.
joe rogan
Did you see, was it Rappaport that got kicked off of a show at Cap City?
They canceled his show.
ehsan ahmad
They canceled Rappaport.
joe rogan
And let me see what the post was because they said something like there's another big club that will have you or something like that.
unidentified
Yeah.
Yeah.
joe rogan
Insinuating that we would have him and that he's racist and we would have him.
unidentified
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
ehsan ahmad
They just assume.
They assume the mothership is full of racist people.
joe rogan
They don't.
But the guy that owns that is the guy that owns Helium.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, but no, not just that.
I think that's pervasive around comedy for sure.
joe rogan
It's Donson.
They're pretending they think that.
There's no way they think that.
If you just look at the lineup, there's no way they think that.
ehsan ahmad
Well, no one's looking at the lineup.
They're really— They're really like, oh, Joe and Tony support Trump, so this must be filled with racist people.
That's what it is.
joe rogan
did they say?
Can you pull up the...
I mean, I think they phrased it in an interesting way.
So Austin for Palestine Coalition.
ehsan ahmad
That's a rapperport.
It's pretty funny.
joe rogan
That's a rappaport.
He's done canceled.
Thank you, Cap City Comedy, and Helium Management for listening to Austin and canceling the racist provocateur Michael Rappaport show at your establishment.
And so.
ehsan ahmad
Hey, Michael Rappaport, there's a make sure.
Yeah, yeah, that's the caption is like, but there's another club that insinuating that we would take.
joe rogan
Well, what is this?
This is just Austin comedy.
That's just someone's account.
ehsan ahmad
It's just someone's account.
Yeah, that's what when I first moved here, that was when I, that's how I figured out where all the open mics.
joe rogan
But they're not even accusing us.
It says, pretty sure there's another club or large venue space that will welcome you that aren't run by Helium.
So, but there's a lot of places that that's not necessarily, they're saying us.
If you still want to make a stop in Austin, just let them know.
Most of us here are friendly and won't use politics and hate to cancel silence performers.
So that seems like they're kind of saying, like, hey, Michael, come do another spot.
Do it somewhere else.
I don't think they're accusing him of that.
ehsan ahmad
Right.
joe rogan
That sounds more supportive of him coming here and saying most of us are friendly and won't use politics and hate to cancel silence performance.
So that's not Helium saying that.
ehsan ahmad
I guess he's, is he like, I mean, I guess he's outspokenly pro-Israel for this to happen.
joe rogan
Yeah, I'm not paying attention to that dude because I feel like a lot of it is needy.
You know what I mean?
There's a lot of like trying to get attention too hard.
unidentified
Right.
joe rogan
It's like, he's like, I get you.
He's not a dumb guy.
He's got some really good points.
But the problem is if you try too hard and you're doing it all the time, then the good points miss me.
ehsan ahmad
Right.
joe rogan
They miss me because you're already lost.
You're connected to all that other silly shit.
ehsan ahmad
They're just lost in the sea.
Like, yeah, yeah.
joe rogan
Which is good and bad, depending on whether or not you want to be taken seriously.
unidentified
Right.
joe rogan
I don't want to be taken seriously.
So like if I do UFO shows or Bigfoot shows, like, good.
Oh, he believes in dragons.
unidentified
Good.
ehsan ahmad
Good.
joe rogan
Don't take me seriously.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah.
joe rogan
But when you're talking about something like Israel and Palestine, I guess, because it said something citizens for Palestine.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, it had to have been.
They're not canceling it.
The coalition for Palestine is not going out of their way.
joe rogan
I had no idea anybody was calling Michael Rappaport racist.
ehsan ahmad
Oh, well, yeah.
This is the first Michael Rappaport news I've heard in years, if I'm going to be honest.
joe rogan
But I had no idea that there was an organized campaign to stop his shows.
ehsan ahmad
There must be.
If it's happening here, it's happening everywhere, right?
joe rogan
Has to be okay.
Since early November, our coalition sent several emails.
That's all it took.
It says they were ignored.
While employees had privately shared that they're uncomfortable.
Oh, they privately shared that.
With anti-Palestinian hate monger Rapaport being hosted, management seems unwilling to listen to their community.
That's not necessarily their community.
That's just some people in the community.
Rappaport isn't just a fanatical Zionist with political views we disagree with.
He's a racist who cruelly mocks dead civilians and children.
He mocks immigrants and supports ICE detentions of people whose viewpoints he dislikes.
Additionally, he has a reputation for being generally disliked by people he's worked with, doxing his political opponents and has been accused of working with Fox News to spread fake propaganda.
ehsan ahmad
Okay, this is like a lot.
joe rogan
Who wrote this?
ehsan ahmad
Austin for Palestine Coalition.
So maybe it's just in Austin.
Oh, yeah, that's it.
Austin for that they got him out of Cap City.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
So what did they go back up at the top of that thing?
What is the original?
No, The original thing that I read.
It said he's mocked.
He's a racist who cruelly mocks dead civilians and children.
Is that true?
ehsan ahmad
I don't think so.
We'd have to go through his.
joe rogan
Yeah, that's the thing.
It's like when you say something like that.
Yeah.
ehsan ahmad
You just have to take that for face value that he does that if you want to believe that.
joe rogan
I've never seen anything like that.
I would imagine that if he did something like that, it would go viral.
ehsan ahmad
Maybe not.
joe rogan
Mocking dead children?
ehsan ahmad
Yeah.
I mean, maybe not.
Probably.
joe rogan
In this day and age?
ehsan ahmad
Yeah.
If he's famous enough for sure.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
He's just straight up mocking.
joe rogan
If you're mocking dead shows.
Look, look at the people that mocked Charlie Kirk.
The fucking hate came strong.
ehsan ahmad
Oh, yeah.
They all lost their jobs.
joe rogan
They felt the heat.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, immediately.
Immediately.
joe rogan
Yeah.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, it is fun.
Like, the internet makes people very comfortable with putting their initial emotional reaction out for everyone to see.
And it's like, Derek talks about, it's like, we got to go back to the times when people were like, oh, you can't post yourself with a red cup because a job might see that and you won't get the job.
joe rogan
You just think you're drinking.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, that used to be like, and now people are like just full-on sketches of people dying.
And like, you see so many people die just constantly, too.
So it's like, everyone's just desensitized to everything.
joe rogan
There's a lot of desensitization.
There's a lot of people that also live in these echo chambers and they think when they say things.
Like, well, who was that one lady that was, she was a CEO somewhere.
She had a very high-level position somewhere.
And she posted on her Instagram story, I think, something like that.
She posted rest and piss, Charlie Kirk.
unidentified
Right.
joe rogan
Like, you're a regular person with a real job.
And you're talking about a guy who got murdered and you just wrote rest and piss on the internet because in their bubble, they were saying that kind of stuff.
And they thought it was a cool thing to say.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, your algorithm is so designed to just show you what things that agree with you.
unidentified
Right.
ehsan ahmad
So everyone gets more and more like, oh, everyone believes this.
Everyone, because everyone around me or everyone I perceive to be around me believes that.
When really it's just, it's all like half of it's fake.
Most of it is just some Pakistani guy.
unidentified
Right.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, somewhere with like a million.
joe rogan
And this new AI where you can.
ehsan ahmad
Just constant.
unidentified
No, no, no.
joe rogan
The new one where you can be any celebrity and it looks exactly like that celebrity.
So all your movements, you could be like, you know, Mike from Stranger Things.
ehsan ahmad
Damn.
joe rogan
And it's super accurate.
ehsan ahmad
Damn.
joe rogan
Like crazy.
ehsan ahmad
We're getting to the point where like surveillance videos won't be admissible in court.
Like it's going to be up to there.
joe rogan
It'll all have to be on the blockchain.
But even that, like, I don't understand the blockchain.
Do you?
Who knows if something has to be manipulated?
See if you can find that video of, because there was one performer who did a series of different people from Stranger Things.
He did like Elle from Stranger Things and Mike from Strange Things.
And it's fucking nuts.
The same person, just moving their hands around and talking, and they look exactly like the other person.
unidentified
Right.
ehsan ahmad
So now you're seeing heavily manipulated content.
Like, unless you go out of your way to look for another opinion.
You're just gonna become entrenched in your own opinion.
That's sort of the problem with what's happening right now.
joe rogan
Or entrenched in the opinion that they want.
ehsan ahmad
Yes, they want to promote.
You're just sort of like, oh, you're just being fed this constant line of like bullshit.
You got to do some like algorithm cleanses.
That's what like fuck like, you know how they could go on juice cleanses.
You got to do that with your algorithm.
joe rogan
I think honestly, what you got to do is stay offline.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah.
joe rogan
You're going to get got no matter what.
Your algorithm is eventually going to catch you again.
It's like, I'm going to do a little heroin this time.
And then the next thing, you know, you're a full-on heroin junkie.
ehsan ahmad
Right, right.
joe rogan
For me, it's like, there's so many videos of people getting killed by alligators and lions.
They're fake.
And they just look a little off.
Like the lion jumps in the car and pulls them out.
You're like, no.
You're like, something's wrong with this.
Perception and Deception 00:02:21
ehsan ahmad
The way people react.
Right now, the reactions of people in the background don't match.
Right.
That's what's because it used to be you could see the fingers and the fingers would be all fucked up, but they got the fingers pretty down now.
They're getting better at that.
Now it's like you got to look in the, if the people in the background aren't reacting, you're like, okay.
joe rogan
Yeah.
ehsan ahmad
Like if I was people in the background would react to a guy getting eaten by a lion.
joe rogan
I guess they could probably fix that though with a prompt.
Well, that would be the next generation.
That's going to make it to the next generation.
I think it's just, you got to just ask it do a better version.
Keep correcting it.
Asking it to do better.
Kind of fix that.
ehsan ahmad
Have you ever done that with a video where you asked it to keep fixing things?
It gets overloaded and it just gets worse and worse and worse.
If you ask it to fix the, it's not good at making an edit on the video you already have.
unidentified
Oh.
ehsan ahmad
So you can be like, let's say it'll just generate another thing and because it's making a video about a video, everything gets fucked up.
joe rogan
Look at this.
ehsan ahmad
Holy shit.
joe rogan
This is crazy, dude.
ehsan ahmad
That one looks kind of AI, but this is like a lot of AI too.
That looks a little AI too.
joe rogan
It's a little smooth in the face, you know, so it's probably better for, do it again, run it again from the beginning.
ehsan ahmad
See, no, the first couple ones might get you.
It's when one seems like obviously really fake.
joe rogan
You know what the thing is, too?
I think it's really good with young people.
Like him, it looks fake for some reason.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, when it got there.
But then you realize they all look fake after you see one that looks fake.
joe rogan
But not that fake.
ehsan ahmad
No.
joe rogan
It's just if they did the lighting a little better, you know, it looks a little too bright.
ehsan ahmad
But yeah, see, I wonder if our perception, because the first three look real.
I wonder if our perception would change if they put the one of the guy that looks fake first.
You feel what I'm saying?
joe rogan
I don't know because this one looks real.
Like that looks like her.
Like if you just had that one and had her saying a bunch of things, I would think it's her saying a bunch of things.
ehsan ahmad
Well, that's fucking crazy.
unidentified
We're fucked.
ehsan ahmad
We're fucked.
joe rogan
We're fucked, man.
Anybody who doesn't think we're fucked isn't paying attention.
It's going to get super weird.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah.
joe rogan
And how much of that are they going to use on us in the news, you know?
ehsan ahmad
Oh, yeah.
unidentified
Yeah.
ehsan ahmad
The news is already fucked.
I was thinking about this the other day, how it's crazy that because our algorithms are so different.
News As Common Ground 00:07:15
ehsan ahmad
I think this is why everyone gets so charged over news things now, is news is the only thing we have in common anymore.
Like there's not really a show that like everyone's watching or like a set of shows that everyone's watching.
Your algorithm sends you things that you like.
So you're completely disconnected entertainment-wise to the people around you.
And the only thing you really have in common is what's going on in the world.
joe rogan
Right.
ehsan ahmad
Because that's the only thing that's consistent.
joe rogan
And your opinions on it.
What side are you on?
ehsan ahmad
Yes.
joe rogan
Because everything becomes divided.
ehsan ahmad
Yes.
And you have to have a take on everything.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Vaccines, food pyramid, Gaza.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, everything has to have a take.
unidentified
Yeah.
ehsan ahmad
Oh, yeah.
Oh, we were cooked as a, like, companies have to do it.
Yeah, I have been saying, like, we've been cooked as a country.
I've known we've been cooked as a country ever since Ben and Jerry's had a take on Gaza.
It's like, there's no reason for this.
unidentified
Yeah.
ehsan ahmad
There's no reason for this.
There's a company trying to sell stuff.
joe rogan
There's a lot of incentives for companies to like whatever.
What is that ESG score?
Is that what it is?
What is the score that they give?
So companies have DEI scores for favorable loans and for government money.
It gets real weird when you start intertwining the it gets real communisty.
ESG score evaluates a company's sustainability and ethical impact, measuring its performance in environmental, social, and governance areas, such as carbon footprint, labor practices, and board diversity to help investors and stakeholders access long-term risk and potential.
Excuse me, assess long-term risk and potential.
Calculated by specialized agencies like MSCI and Sustainalytics.
Scores offer them from zero to 100 or letter grades gauge how well a company manages risks in these non-financial areas, influencing reputation, access to capital.
This is what's important.
And long-term financial performances.
So climate change impact, resource use, waste pollution, energy efficiency, employee relations, diversity and inclusion, labor standards.
So you're essentially forcing the company to act a certain way.
You can't do it completely as a meritocracy.
You have to have a representative board of people, which a lot of people agree with.
None of those people are exceptional.
None of the people are exceptional at their job that agree you should have specific categories of race or gender replace meritocracy.
ehsan ahmad
Right.
joe rogan
No one really good, male or female, black, white, Asian, whatever.
No one really good at their job wants that.
ehsan ahmad
No, no, because that just gets in the way.
It gets the job.
It's like, oh, I have to worry about this social score.
Yeah.
joe rogan
But fuck off.
ehsan ahmad
That's kind of what we're heading towards, right?
Well, it's a less social.
joe rogan
With Trump in office, there was a guy who was a CEO of some company that was talking about the gigantic shift in dealing with the government that had occurred right after Trump took office.
He was like, it was instantaneous.
Like all the restrictions and regulations.
And this is one of the problems with California in particular.
It's incredibly over-regulated.
So it's really difficult to do anything, which is one of the reasons why so few people have even begun attempting rebuild their fucking house.
There's regulations everywhere for everything.
It's just over-regulated.
ehsan ahmad
Wouldn't the government buy a lot of that land or are they trying to buy that land right now in the Palisades?
joe rogan
I don't think it's government.
I think there was people that were interested in doing like low-income housing.
And then there was like whether they were going to carve out things now.
They're speculators.
And there's that famous video of Newsom standing in front of the rubble of a burning house going, there's been some discussions.
He's doing that little dance.
Remember that?
unidentified
Yeah, yeah.
joe rogan
What a sociopath.
What a freaky dude.
ehsan ahmad
He's running for president.
There's no way he's not.
Yeah, I mean, absolutely running for president.
joe rogan
Good luck, dude.
You think there's a lot of fucking fraud in Minnesota?
Just wait till they start digging deep into the fraud in California.
It's going to take an army of people to do.
It's going to take a long time.
But look, man, there's so much money missing.
They spent $24 billion on the homeless, and they can't account for it.
Is it true that Gavin Newsom – let's find out this because I saw this whole article about this that said Gavin Newsom vetoed a bill that would do an audit of where the $24 billion to the homeless went.
ehsan ahmad
Well, if their goal was to create more homeless with that money, they did a great job.
unidentified
They did a great job.
ehsan ahmad
They did a fantastic job.
joe rogan
The crazy thing is they're literally incentivized to have more homeless because the more homeless people they have, the more money goes.
Which is what?
And then you see the salaries of the people that are working on it.
Koleon Noir, my friend, that's a Second Amendment advocate who's a lawyer.
He was the first guy to tell me about that because he's a lawyer and he was in San Francisco.
And he was like, why is there so many homeless people here?
It's like, do they need more money?
And his friend, who is a lawyer, goes, No, This whole thing is a racket.
The more homeless people you have, the more you have to fund the homeless initiative.
And then you have this entire ecosystem that's built around the homeless.
ehsan ahmad
Right.
And it's just money's going to executives.
joe rogan
Millions and millions of dollars.
In California, $24 billion.
Okay, David Spade was talking about it.
This really happened.
He blocked bills for an audit multiple times.
Bipartisan bill AB 2903 unanimously passed 72 to 0 in the Assembly, 40 to 0 in the Senate, and would have forced annual public reports on where the money went.
And Newsom vetoed it.
ehsan ahmad
Is there no system in the state?
Because it's like if the president vetoes at a federal level, I'm pretty sure if the, I think it goes back, if it goes back to the Senate or the House, they can do a two-thirds vote to pass it anyway.
I don't understand.
joe rogan
I don't know.
ehsan ahmad
There are legislative ways to override a veto.
joe rogan
This veto?
ehsan ahmad
Federally.
I don't know.
joe rogan
I don't know about it at a state level.
It says Gavin Newsom also vetoed similar bills, AB2570 and AB2093.
ehsan ahmad
Wow.
joe rogan
Just that is crazy.
ehsan ahmad
That money's just gone.
joe rogan
$20 billion plus dollars in missing homeless money went.
That is really wild, man, that you would veto that, that it passes unanimously.
And you're like, nah, playa.
ehsan ahmad
That's fucking gangster, dude.
joe rogan
That's pretty much it.
That's why you become a governor.
It's probably a good move if you're really shitty mayor of a place like San Francisco and you ruin it.
Better be the governor.
ehsan ahmad
Tighten up and stop the investigation.
joe rogan
Stop all the fucking loopholes.
ehsan ahmad
You know, I would call that good gameplay on Newsom's part.
joe rogan
That is what it sends.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I like looking at politics from an outside perspective.
That's some good gameplay right there.
unidentified
It is.
ehsan ahmad
If it's a game, that's exactly what you should do.
joe rogan
Great move.
Yeah, it's a great move.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, and now you sort of can launch yourself as this anti-Trump guy, and you're like, oh, it's trying to get on this pod.
The problem is the presidential run is coming.
joe rogan
He lies so much, he doesn't remember that he lied.
Like, he gets busted.
Cool Looks of Ancient Languages 00:15:17
joe rogan
We've never used the term Latinx because Latinos do not like that Latinx bullshit.
No.
You want to fucking alienate the Mexican-American community?
Start calling them Latinx.
They'll be like, bitch, what the fuck are you saying?
ehsan ahmad
Well, that's fundamentally gendered language.
Yeah, it's fundamentally against their language.
That's the whole point.
There are female and male things in their language.
joe rogan
It's a gendered language.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, yeah.
So everyone's crazy.
joe rogan
That's crazy.
ehsan ahmad
Stop.
joe rogan
The really crazy thing is, you know, we were talking last night with Jimmy Carr's friend.
What was his name?
ehsan ahmad
I forgot his name.
joe rogan
Sorry, sir.
Fun guy, interesting guy.
But we got to talking about the different people that lived in America before Columbus got here, before Cortez got here, before all these Spanish explorers turned the entire country into a Spanish-speaking Catholic country, which is really nuts, man.
You know, you want to talk about colonizing.
Like, those people in Mexico, oh, we respect their religion, their culture.
That's the culture of their oppressors from just a few hundred years ago.
ehsan ahmad
Right.
joe rogan
They lost 100 different native languages, man.
They had so many languages in what is now Mexico, but wasn't even Mexico until 1820.
Like, whatever it was, whatever they called it in the different areas, they had like over 100 different languages just lost in the wind because the fucking conquistadors came through.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, and outnumbered, they were able to do that.
joe rogan
Bro, this is outnumbered.
ehsan ahmad
That's crazy.
joe rogan
Bro, they had 13 muskets.
That's all they had.
600 dudes, 13 muskets.
They burned the boats and took over Mexico.
Crazy.
And then to this day, but here's the thing.
ehsan ahmad
This is the gift of Gab, too.
I was able to convince Montezuma that they were God.
joe rogan
Well, they showed up with metal.
Yeah, they're wearing armor and they're riding horses.
And they're like, this is crazy.
These guys are riding horses.
ehsan ahmad
And there's like a famous, what was it, La Malinche? was like a female Native American or native to that area who like helped them take them down.
joe rogan
Oh, there's quite a few people that helped him.
They were very clever what they did because there wasn't united tribes because the Aztecs were absolutely brutal.
One of the Spanish chroniclers, some I forget his name, something Diaz, but one of these Spanish chroniclers before the arrival of Cortez, he was there at the celebration of the completion of one of the temples.
I think it was to No Chitlan.
And they killed somewhere between 20,000 as the low end and 80,000 as the high end.
20,000 to 80,000 people sacrificed in a four-day ceremony.
ehsan ahmad
That's pretty gangster.
joe rogan
So these are the people that were there.
So those are not loved people.
ehsan ahmad
Right, right.
joe rogan
So it was really easy for them to get the other tribes and go, hey, guys, we got horses.
We got 13 muskets.
ehsan ahmad
With your help, we can take them down.
joe rogan
We can speak Spanish.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Carnitas.
ehsan ahmad
That's wild.
joe rogan
It is a fucking Mexican word, but it's a Spanish word.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah.
joe rogan
It's like the language.
They had names like North American, Native American names.
Like one guy was a cacao lightning god.
That was his name.
I did a whole bunch of research on these people because I just got fascinated because one of the things about the Aztecs is a lot of these super complex temples, they didn't build them.
They found them.
ehsan ahmad
Oh, yeah.
joe rogan
We talk about it like they called it the place where the gods were born.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, these sort of like civilizations that clearly probably existed.
This is something that I think about is like, okay, so do you know the story of the Achaemenid Persian Empire succession?
joe rogan
I don't know it in detail, but I'm aware of a lot of it.
ehsan ahmad
Right.
So you have Cyrus.
He has two kids, Cambyses and Bardia.
He splits up the realm between the two.
Cambyses goes off to conquer Egypt, but he's like, well, Bardia is popular, so let me secretly kill him and then go off to Egypt.
A Magi priest then impersonates Bardia, takes over the Achaemenid Persian Empire.
He is the ruler now.
Cambyses sort of dies on the way back mysteriously.
And then an Achaemenid nobleman named Darius is like, hey, this is a Magi imposter, kills Bardia.
He's now ruling.
Darius leads the Achaemenid Persian Empire to be as big as it can be.
And he's the father of Xerxes, the bad guy in 300.
So that's – but that is the only official narrative story we have that's from a first – like a primary source.
And the only reason we have that is because Darius carved that story in himself into a rock relief.
It's called the Vehistun Relief.
So that story is basically propaganda.
But then 50 years later, it gets picked up by Herodotus, and that becomes the story of the Ascension, right?
There's no other primary source on what happened there.
You just have to take Darius' word for it.
unidentified
Wow.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, and that's in the fifth century.
And the only reason we know that is because someone carved it into a rock.
unidentified
Bro.
ehsan ahmad
Right?
Like, we're not carving anything in the rocks now.
So if, yeah, so if something, let's say something happens to the internet tomorrow and it disappears and then our civilization just vanishes off the earth, a couple people survive and they build a whole new civilization.
joe rogan
There's all those lines, is that writing or is that erosion?
ehsan ahmad
I believe that's writing.
I haven't really.
joe rogan
Go back to that primary, the original original internet.
jamie vernon
I think it's writing.
joe rogan
It looks like cuneiform.
ehsan ahmad
And it's the way it's, yeah.
But that's the only reason we know something that happened from that time is because this exists.
joe rogan
And we have no idea if it's true.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, we have no idea if it's true, but no one's even carving anything into stone for us.
joe rogan
Right.
Yeah, look at it.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah.
There's no way.
joe rogan
How dope is that language?
Look how cool that looks.
Look how cool that looks.
That's how people used to write things down, man.
ehsan ahmad
Right.
joe rogan
Can AI like find there's got to be some of these.
Like I know there's one from Easter Island that they can't decipher.
Oh, you've seen that one?
ehsan ahmad
No.
joe rogan
Graham Hancock explained it.
And what he said was essentially the island, it was a very small island.
They got raided by slavers, and they took everyone except for like 100 people.
And the people that they took and enslaved, they were the ones who knew how to read this language.
And then this language was lost forever.
ehsan ahmad
Right.
joe rogan
There's one piece of like wood where, yeah, that's it.
Where it's written on.
Look how dope their language looks.
Like, zoom in.
Like, how crazy is that, man?
Like, what are they saying?
And we don't know.
Like, I wonder if they could throw that through AI and get sort of an understanding of what these symbols were.
But you'd have to have a base.
Like, that was the thing about the Rosetta Stone.
The Rosetta Stone really helped people in Egypt because you're like, oh, this is how it's written in Greek.
And this is, okay, now we know what it's said in multiple languages.
Now we get an understanding of it.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah.
But so the overall point being, though, is like in our time, if the internet disappears and we're gone, there's nothing from this time that's really being recorded.
It'll just be lost.
joe rogan
Oh, yeah.
All the hard drive stuff gone.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, just be lost.
joe rogan
We'll have to relearn things.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, but our time, the Americans, there'll just be some ancient thing that people might not know ever existed.
joe rogan
It says about the, it's called the wrongorongo, wrongorongo, a glyph-based script from Easter Island remains undeciphered despite over a century of study.
Imagine you're studying it for a century.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, because people's whole lives have been dedicated to this.
joe rogan
No one knows exactly what it says, as all attempts to translate it fully have failed, with scholars debating if it's true writing or proto-writing used as a memory aid.
A memory aid.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, lines alternate direction, often upside down.
Oh, so that's so hard.
Even the direction is ever-changing.
You're not writing right to left.
You're just kind of going wherever you want with it.
joe rogan
What is the latest on the Voynich manuscripts?
Has anybody thrown that through AI to try to see if it makes any sense?
Do you know about that?
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, were they found on a guy?
Was that one of them?
joe rogan
No, it's some weird book.
And the question is whether or not this book is just complete gibberish and nonsense or whether it's some lost language.
And it's really detailed, too.
ehsan ahmad
Where was it found?
joe rogan
It's a good question.
I don't remember.
Published Nabi Cipher.
Is that what it's called?
Published November 26, 2025 in Cryptologia by science journalist Michael Greshko introduced the Nabi Cipher, which uses 14th century Italian playing cards and dice to encode Latin or Italian text into glyphs mimicking the Voignitz manuscripts Voyniches.
This cipher replicates key statistical features like glyph frequencies, word lengths, grammar rules suggesting a similar medieval method could have generated the original 15th century text, although it does not decode it.
Wow.
Have you seen it?
See if you can find images of it.
ehsan ahmad
It's freaky.
Where was it found?
That's what I'm saying.
joe rogan
That's a really good question.
Let's find that out.
ehsan ahmad
Voinich ninja.
There's like groups dedicated to this.
joe rogan
Oh, people are obsessed with it.
I mean, they've been.
ehsan ahmad
That's a fun thing.
This is a fun thing to be obsessed with.
joe rogan
Just do me a favor and just go back to Perplexity and say, how was it discovered?
unidentified
Yeah.
ehsan ahmad
I'm curious.
joe rogan
Because I feel like someone had it and someone bought it from someone.
ehsan ahmad
I could have been wrong.
I thought it was found on a body.
I could be wrong about that.
I might be thinking of another thing.
joe rogan
It was rediscovered in 1912 by Polish-American rare books dealer Wilfred Voynich.
Okay.
He named it himself.
What a clever guy.
ehsan ahmad
I like that.
Fuck it.
Something of my mind.
Mine, bitch.
They say you die.
The second time you die is when someone says your name last, so we're just keeping him alive.
joe rogan
He acquired it from the Jesuit college in Frascati, Italy, as a part of a batch of 30 manuscripts discreetly sold amidst the Jesuits' financial difficulties.
How many of these motherfuckers in the Vatican are sitting on some shit that they don't have to sell?
Oh, yeah.
ehsan ahmad
Like, change the world completely.
Yeah.
joe rogan
Carbon dating places its creation around 1404 to 1438, likely in northern Italy.
Emperor Rudolph II bought it in the late 1500s for 600 gold ducats, possibly from John Dee.
It later passed to Jacobus.
How about this guy's name?
Jacobus Horsicki Depenez.
ehsan ahmad
Deep Eastern European stuff.
joe rogan
That's Depenex.
ehsan ahmad
You can't even.
joe rogan
There's some names like Johanna Jonječek.
If you saw the way it's written, there's no way you would pronounce it.
ehsan ahmad
Any of those Eastern European names.
It's like, how did you even get that?
joe rogan
Stayed in Jesuit hands until 1912.
He publicized the undeciphered codex now at Yale's Beineke Library, sparking global interest despite failed decoding attempts.
Pull up some images of it so you can see what it looks like.
It's real weird, man.
It's real weird.
It has detailed illustrations.
ehsan ahmad
Of like plants and stuff.
joe rogan
Oh, here we go.
Here's a little video.
So you could see how cool it looks when they're opening up the book.
Anything that you're getting that's a book that's from the fucking 1400s, 1200?
When is it from?
1500 or 1500s?
jamie vernon
15th century, 1400s.
joe rogan
So the 1400s.
Any book that you're getting from the 1400s is fucking wild as it is.
Just imagine these fucking people living back then, writing this shit down with a feather.
ehsan ahmad
Just touching it with her bare hands, huh?
joe rogan
Yeah, you have to.
It's actually worse to do it with gloves.
ehsan ahmad
Really?
joe rogan
Yeah, they found out that gloves, the rubber is more abrasive.
ehsan ahmad
And your finger.
joe rogan
The oils of your fingers are actually more protective or something along those lines.
ehsan ahmad
Wow.
joe rogan
Look how cool that looks, though.
And they don't know if that's a real language.
That's what's nuts.
ehsan ahmad
You can't decode it.
This is a good YouTube rabbit hole.
joe rogan
It's a good one.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah.
joe rogan
It's an interesting one because people say it's a hoax, but the thing about it is if it's a hoax, it's like really well done and very complex and like an incredible amount of time.
ehsan ahmad
The fact that it's still tripping up people now, it's like it's an all-time great hoax then.
joe rogan
Sort of, but think about how many languages we've lost.
Like we just talked about 100 languages were lost somewhere around that in what is now considered Mexico.
Now, you know, think about the rest of the world.
Like, here's another instance.
Mobs of Indigenous people in Australia, the Aborigines.
ehsan ahmad
Right.
joe rogan
So they call themselves mobs.
And, you know, instead of a tribe.
And they have mobs that will live six, ten kilometers away that speak a completely different language.
And they're all over the place.
And they don't have these things written anywhere.
So there's a bunch of their languages that are just spoken orally.
And they will disappear.
And we don't know how many languages there are.
Like my friend Adam Greentry, who used to own a mining company in Australia, and he employed a lot of Aborigines, and he knows a lot about the culture.
And he was like, dude, it's the craziest history because a lot of it is not written down, and there's a lot of horrible tragedy and genocide attached to it.
There's a cave that you can go to where they gave this mob of Aborigines poisoned food on purpose, like a whole crew of them.
And so there's like just their bones are in this cave still to this day.
He goes, dude, it's the darkest fucking thing you've ever seen in your life.
You think about this family and their children, they're starving.
And these people, these white people in Australia, were essentially prisoners that England shipped over there.
unidentified
Right.
joe rogan
Just gave them poison.
ehsan ahmad
And just damn.
That's yeah.
joe rogan
Damn.
And they got, bro, they got some crazy rock art.
You ever see the glyphs of like alien-looking dudes and shit.
ehsan ahmad
And like, yeah, there's like people with like rockets that look like they're in rocket ships and spacesuits.
What?
joe rogan
What information, what stories, what is their version of the Bible that we missed?
Well, it's probably they never wrote it down.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, there's something to do with a large flood that seems to be consistent.
joe rogan
I hope he had that.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, something to do with a large flood and something to do with some sort of either dragon or serpent type bad guy.
Right.
Those are the two main consistent things across most cultures: some large flood event and some snake.
Yeah.
Sharks Through Time 00:13:04
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, that's all.
And I wonder what the snake in the Bible really looked like.
Because in the Adam and Eve story, anytime you see a picture point painted of it, it's painted as a snake.
But the snake's punishment was it lost its limbs.
So this was a dragon.
Right, because the snake, the snake's punishment was it has to live on the ground.
joe rogan
But is that the snake's punishment forever?
Is that like why God did that to the snakes, period?
ehsan ahmad
I think so.
I think that's the whole that's what that is.
joe rogan
Doesn't that just explain what a snake looks like rather than describe a dragon?
Like, why doesn't it have limbs?
God took away its limbs.
ehsan ahmad
That's what you're saying.
Maybe it's maybe it's reversed.
joe rogan
Maybe it seems like it's reversed.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, maybe I just really wanted to be a dragon.
joe rogan
Yeah, it seems like they don't get to have legs.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, yeah.
joe rogan
How come you don't get to have wings, bitch?
You know, because if you really think about it, like, there's so many different stories.
This is why, like, you know, the view, like, that's that famous Joy Behart clip.
He believes in dragons.
ehsan ahmad
That's a great clip.
joe rogan
Yeah, it's awesome.
It comes out of a conversation that I had with Forrest Gallant, who's a wildlife biologist.
He's like, there's a lot of depictions of these flying serpents and large serpents with wings all over the world.
It's weird.
ehsan ahmad
Right.
joe rogan
It is really weird.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, it's like a thing.
joe rogan
It's really weird.
And we know some dinosaurs flew.
ehsan ahmad
So there might have been some.
You think there's some sort of cross?
joe rogan
Well, here's the thing: the Congo has had a legend of some sort of a large dinosaur-like creature forever, to the point where explorers have made their way into the Congo to try to find this thing.
ehsan ahmad
Okay.
joe rogan
That resembles, I think it resembles a bronosaurus that could fly?
No, no, no.
That was in the jungle.
So the question is: is it possible that a creature could live for an extended period of time and then, you know, maybe in the 1100s or 1,000 years ago or whatever, 2,000 years ago, they slaughtered them all and killed them off.
Like, maybe it, maybe they have a long gestation period, like an elephant.
Maybe.
Maybe it's possible they realized these things were a threat.
They knew where they'd end up.
There was a small population anywhere and they killed them off.
unidentified
Maybe.
joe rogan
Maybe.
It's not likely.
There's no bones.
There's no nothing.
But there's no bones of most things.
That's the thing.
Most things that die do not leave a fossil.
And then they find things that they thought were extinct.
Not just extinct, but extinct for millions and millions of years.
One of them is the coelacanth.
You know about the coelacanth?
unidentified
No.
joe rogan
So the coelacanth is this crazy-looking dinosaur fish that is unchanged from, God, I want to say, tens of millions of years.
I don't know how old, but when you look at it, you're like, yo, look at that thing.
And then they caught one once.
They caught it.
Like, I don't know, it was a fishing net or a fishing boat, but they caught one.
And then they realized, like, oh my God, these things are still alive.
Like, we thought this was a part of the fossil record.
ehsan ahmad
Damn.
joe rogan
And then they realized that there's parts of the ocean that we just haven't explored and these things.
And then they've caught a bunch of them since.
And then other fishermen have caught them.
But it's a very deep, deep sea creature that is really ancient.
ehsan ahmad
And they found they.
joe rogan
How old is the coelacanth?
Like, how long has it been around for?
ehsan ahmad
Man, that's so.
joe rogan
I hope I'm saying the word right.
ehsan ahmad
That's so wild to not find one for years and then all of a sudden you just find a bunch.
joe rogan
Well, they found a few.
Well, now that they know they exist, they're looking for them.
And then they're fishing to that area and they caught them.
But can you show me an image of the coelacanth?
ehsan ahmad
Oh, I think there's a there's a YouTube channel that I think you'd really like called like I think it's called like it's a it just goes and looks through what the earth looked like in every like in different eras.
joe rogan
So that's that freaky fish.
ehsan ahmad
Oh yeah, I've seen this.
joe rogan
It's armored.
It's got like these crazy scales on it.
It just looks like a throwback.
So three, hold up, go up.
Relatives being the first left seas 385.
Okay.
So they're not our direct ancestors, but they're still relatives of beings that first left the seas.
They left the sea 385 million years ago and became four-legged terrestrial animals.
ehsan ahmad
Damn, and this is like, this is like a common link.
joe rogan
So what they're saying is there's creatures that left, so something like that left the sea 385 million years ago and became four-legged terrestrial animals from which we sprung.
And these relatives are still alive today.
So how long has the coelacanth been around?
ehsan ahmad
So it's 188 pounds.
So they caught it.
joe rogan
In 1938, floating off the South African coast, the Indian Ocean, fishermen from the urban caught an unknown creature.
It weighed 188 pounds, five feet in length, dark blue in color, and unabashedly chomped its jaws.
This was not a fish, not just any fish, that scales, fins, and limbs, or more precisely, rudiments thereof.
Moreover, there were seven of them, two in the back, three on the belly, and another pair on the head.
They had limbs on their head.
Whoa.
ehsan ahmad
Damn.
joe rogan
Should we know the local population occasionally caught these creatures and even come up with a name for them, Gombesa, which can be translated as bitter fish.
ehsan ahmad
I love that.
Just eat it first.
Find out later.
joe rogan
The residents knew that it was nearly inedible.
It was consumed due to the belief that its meat helped to cope with malaria symptoms.
unidentified
Yo.
joe rogan
Although it was possible to make something like sandpaper from their extremely strong and bristly scales.
So when did they think when?
Look at what it looked like.
unidentified
That's crazy.
ehsan ahmad
That's wild.
joe rogan
That thing.
ehsan ahmad
Oh, it looks scary.
It looks like a monster.
joe rogan
With all those weird appendages eventually made its way onto land.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah.
joe rogan
Nuts, man.
How long ago was that?
Like, how long did they think that thing had been extinct for?
unidentified
No, you'd have to look that up.
jamie vernon
That's a different question.
joe rogan
Yeah.
Just put into perplexity the history of the coelacanth.
jamie vernon
I was trying to find out how to spell it.
unidentified
Okay, here we go.
joe rogan
How old is this motherfucker?
ehsan ahmad
420 million years.
unidentified
Wow.
ehsan ahmad
Rediscovered.
Damn, bro.
That's wild.
unidentified
Wow.
joe rogan
They thought it had been extinct for 66 million years.
ehsan ahmad
And it was just living.
joe rogan
Whoa.
ehsan ahmad
Dude, to live that long, that's pretty crazy.
joe rogan
That's incredible.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, that's...
joe rogan
That's incredible.
unidentified
Mm-hmm.
So...
joe rogan
So this thing that was alive 400 million years ago is still alive today.
They thought it was extinct for 68 million years.
Is it possible that there's something else like that that's on land?
Less likely, I think.
I think ocean is more likely.
ehsan ahmad
Well, it's more undiscovered, right?
joe rogan
Not just that, it's also more protective of environmental change, right?
So it's probably less dependent on all the, like, especially if you're a sea predator, you're probably less dependent on, you know, all the plants growing and nuclear winter that's happening on the fucking surface.
unidentified
Right.
joe rogan
Where everything dies off and the ice age comes and it's fucking meteor dust everywhere.
unidentified
Right.
ehsan ahmad
You got pelts.
You can survive a lot of stuff like climate change.
You're not worried about that, really.
joe rogan
Probably you are, but it's probably something, more things would probably survive in the ocean, I would imagine.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, that makes more sense.
joe rogan
Like, how old are alligators and crocodiles?
ehsan ahmad
Aren't they like, aren't like, isn't like, aren't like sharks older than trees or something?
joe rogan
Older than trees.
Yeah, older than trees.
ehsan ahmad
It's such a mind fuck to think about.
unidentified
Yeah.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, there's something that can be older than trees.
joe rogan
Yeah, and they still are essentially in the same form.
Just fucking swimming, eating machines.
ehsan ahmad
Apex predators forever.
joe rogan
You hear about that lady off Santa Cruz that got got the other day?
ehsan ahmad
No, but have you read that book about the I read that book about the shark attacks in 1916?
joe rogan
Oh, yeah, New Jersey.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, close to the shore where it's like, oh, damn.
It's like a river.
Yeah, it went in a freshwater river.
joe rogan
Yeah.
ehsan ahmad
But they also didn't think sharks were dangerous at that time.
unidentified
That's so crazy.
ehsan ahmad
Like, that was in that time.
They were like, there were people like, oh, sharks, they're just like sea puppies.
They'll leave you alone.
That was the thought.
Part of the reason why that stuck out to people were like, oh, sharks are like dangerous creatures.
joe rogan
Yeah, especially bull sharks.
Because bull sharks are the ones that can swim all the way up to, like, they made their way to Illinois.
ehsan ahmad
Oh, yeah, yeah.
And they're just as, they're more aggressive than the Great Whites, right?
unidentified
Oh, yeah.
joe rogan
They're hyper aggressive.
But they make their way all the way up freshwater rivers.
All the way up.
Into like cold environments.
Fucking Illinois had bull sharks in freshwater.
ehsan ahmad
Just can a freshwater shark is just how bad luck do you, how much of a bad luck do you have to be in a river and get attacked by a shark?
It was your time to go.
joe rogan
You got your legs dangling out of an inner tube.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah.
Just crazy.
joe rogan
And all of a sudden you feel this sharp pain and you see red in the water and you realize your leg's gone.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, it takes you a second to realize your leg is gone too because it's so sharp and so slices through and you don't expect it.
Jeez, yeah.
Well, we were not expecting a shark in the lake.
joe rogan
And you look down, you see the white of your kneecap.
Everything underneath it is just torn tissue.
And fuck.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah.
Yeah.
They didn't think it was dangerous at the time.
Like that.
unidentified
That's crazy.
ehsan ahmad
That's so wild.
It's so wild all the way up until 1916.
In fact, some people thought sharks were just something that sailors made up.
unidentified
Whoa.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, just like, oh, this giant sea creature that'll eat you.
They don't know what they're talking about.
Or like, this is just a sea myth.
joe rogan
Well, it's also when you think about it, when people came to America, because there's no sharks in England, there's no sharks in Ireland.
unidentified
Right.
joe rogan
They don't have a problem over there.
So when they came to America, there was only like we're talking about this shark attack was in the early 1900s, right?
ehsan ahmad
Yes, 1916.
joe rogan
So think about that.
There's only like a couple hundred years of people even being here.
ehsan ahmad
Right.
And that year was like a perfect storm of like the beach became like an acceptable thing to go lounge at.
Before that, it wasn't a thing.
jamie vernon
Even tried to twist it to say that it was trying to attack a dog, not the person.
The person was in the way.
unidentified
No.
joe rogan
It hates dogs.
ehsan ahmad
What?
It does lay out certain things like if you are swimming with a dog, you're more likely to get attacked by a shark.
Interesting.
And it's like something like a full moon.
Like the moon really regulates sharks' emotions.
So like more shark attacks happen on full moons and stuff.
unidentified
Oh, fuck.
ehsan ahmad
There's certain things.
Yeah, apparently having the dog, they never attack the dog.
joe rogan
Really?
ehsan ahmad
But the dog attracts the, something about how they swim attacks.
Dogs don't get killed by sharks.
They will attack the person.
unidentified
Really?
Mm-hmm.
ehsan ahmad
Wow.
The book lays it out.
There is something, there is like a coordinated, like there are a bunch of different factors that sort of apply to that.
unidentified
Whoa.
joe rogan
I don't think there's anything alive right now that is, you know, dinosaur-like.
But I wonder how long they stuck around for.
How long some of them stayed short of the future?
ehsan ahmad
Just the last festivities.
joe rogan
If crocodiles and alligators didn't exist, like let's just imagine crocodiles didn't exist.
The big ones, the Nile crocodiles.
Let's imagine no one thought there was a crocodile.
It's nonsense.
And then one day someone got a video of one in the Congo.
You'd be like, no, dinosaurs are real.
ehsan ahmad
Right.
joe rogan
That's a dinosaur.
That is a straight up dinosaur.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, it's a giant lizard.
That is.
That is technically what's left.
joe rogan
This dude, Josh Bomar, he's a bow hunter and he just killed a world record crocodile.
And I think it was in Tanzania.
Actually, I think he might have did it like two years ago.
This thing is so big.
I think it's like 17 feet long and it's probably over 100 years old.
He killed it with a bow.
Look at the size of that thing.
ehsan ahmad
God.
joe rogan
Now, imagine if that thing didn't exist.
If no one thought that that thing existed.
ehsan ahmad
And then you saw that.
joe rogan
And then you saw that.
ehsan ahmad
You'd be like, yeah, that's a, yeah.
You'd be like, that's a monster that I saw.
joe rogan
Like, look at the size of that thing, man.
Like, if nobody went to Tanzania ever, if it was just a place that no one went to, and then people went there and they saw that, they're like, oh my God, dinosaurs are still alive.
ehsan ahmad
Right.
joe rogan
Because that's a fucking dinosaur.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, that's a full stop.
Yeah, you'd be absolutely afraid.
joe rogan
You can call it a crocodile, whatever.
It's a species of dinosaurs that made it.
It's still here.
Like, when did crocodiles first evolve?
jamie vernon
83 to 95 million years ago, late Cretaceous.
ehsan ahmad
Younger than the coelacanth.
joe rogan
Yeah.
Crazy.
jamie vernon
Up to 250 million years ago.
ehsan ahmad
Still younger than the coelacanth.
By 100 million years.
joe rogan
Well, it's probably the ancestor that came to shore and eaten shit.
ehsan ahmad
Right, right.
joe rogan
If everything came out of the ocean, allegedly.
ehsan ahmad
Ooh, okay, there is something.
Mr. Rogers' Gratitude 00:04:22
ehsan ahmad
So there's something that I do.
It's like a gratefulness thing that I do every year because it's like, this is like a big moment for me in my career.
I just released the special.
I'm walking away from the, I'm like not working social media at the club anymore.
I'm like making steps out.
So this is a YouTube video that I watch.
Every time something like sort of big happens to me or like I'm a crossroads and it's have you ever seen it's Mr. Rogers Emmy acceptance speech.
Have you seen this?
No.
Okay.
Can we pull that up, Jamie?
And it's like a three-minute video, but like genuinely, because I'm going to do it too, I want you to do what he says.
joe rogan
Okay.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, yeah.
It's just a quick little thing.
unidentified
Okay.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah.
And I'm.
unidentified
All right.
Yeah, yeah.
joe rogan
Let's see it.
unidentified
For giving generation upon generation of children confidence in themselves,
for being their friend, for telling them again and again and again that they are special and that they have worth.
It is my honor on behalf of everyone here and on behalf of the millions of children whose mornings you have brightened with your kindness to present you with this lifetime achievement award.
fred rogers
Oh, it's a beautiful night in this neighborhood.
So many people have helped me to come to this night.
Some of you are here, some are far away, some are even in heaven.
All of us have special ones who have loved us into being.
Would you just take along with me 10 seconds to think of the people who have helped you become who you are?
Those who have cared about you and wanted what was best for you in life.
10 seconds of silence.
I'll watch the time.
Whomever you've been thinking about, how pleased they must be to know the difference you feel they've made.
You know, they're the kind of people television does well to offer our world.
Special thanks to my family and friends and to my co-workers in public broadcasting, family communications, and this academy for encouraging me, allowing me all these years to be your neighbor.
May God be with you.
Thank you very much.
joe rogan
He seemed like the real deal.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah.
Yeah.
joe rogan
You thought nothing ever came out about him.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, for real, right?
He was like a Jimmy Saville.
joe rogan
I just, I'm happy he was the real deal.
He really does seem like he is.
ehsan ahmad
Who'd you think about?
joe rogan
Oh, do I want to say it publicly?
ehsan ahmad
Oh, yeah, you don't have to.
joe rogan
Oh, you know, family.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah.
joe rogan
Resource people.
But, you know, you and I in particular are very fortunate.
We have a lot of people that help us be who we are.
ehsan ahmad
Yes.
joe rogan
You know, and that is like the one thing that I think we really highlight at the club is that we really are all happy.
We really are all lucky.
And we really enjoy our time together.
And we feed off of each other.
ehsan ahmad
I'm so happy too.
Like the way this, I would say the scene is like incredibly, incredibly supportive of each other in a way that like it's nice, I guess, in this sort of new system that we live in too, where like you can just make it on your own.
Rising Tide Lifts All Boats 00:15:24
ehsan ahmad
You don't need, like, I'm not auditioning for a spot that like Fuzzy's auditioning for because we're both brown.
joe rogan
Right.
ehsan ahmad
You know what I mean?
joe rogan
Like in the old days.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, there's no reason for me to be like, damn, I hope he doesn't get this.
unidentified
Right.
ehsan ahmad
You know, there's like, it's a system of like, oh, we can all just create and then help each other.
joe rogan
Yes.
ehsan ahmad
Like piggyback off each other.
And like, that's, it's, like, such a refreshing experience to have.
joe rogan
It really is the rising tide lifts all boats, and that's how it should be.
ehsan ahmad
And it happens everywhere, too, because, like, you know, obviously you're at the mothership and you see how hard the door guys there crushed.
But like, I'll go to Sunset and Sunset has some fucking killers as door guys now.
Especially because like they came up in this experience where Sunset, you know, famously the ceilings are high and like the room can be cavernous, can feel cavernous when it's like tight.
And so they come up in a harsher, like the mothership, the rooms are set up for comedy.
Sunset, it never happened that way.
The guy died before he could make it what he wanted to make it.
And Redman came in and just sort of saved it so he can open at the very least.
So it's like they come up in these harsh situations.
And like, there's this one, there's this one kid at Sunset.
His name is, well, kid is very funny to say.
He's the grown man, but Mumford Davis, he closes every single death squad, which is like 18 hours long.
So he closes every single one, goes up in front of a tired, beat audience, and now he's just an absolute monster.
joe rogan
Running with ankle weights on.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, I mean, he's running with the biggest ankle weights on.
To go at the end of that, in that room, they're tired.
They've been there forever.
joe rogan
But you think about it, like, that's how Kinnison came up.
Kinnison was the they that was the Kinnison spot, was the last spot at the OR.
You know, and think about his style, that screaming, yelling in your face.
That's designed to shock an audience back to life.
ehsan ahmad
Right, just try to keep it.
joe rogan
That's Brody.
That's Don Barris.
That's Brian Holtzman.
Like, those guys that developed that act, they could just jolt you out of your complacency.
It's kind of by necessity.
ehsan ahmad
Right.
How to just like keep someone's attention.
Yes.
Like bringing it back is just so impressive.
That's what I miss about the comedy stores.
I left before I got past, so I never got those like late night OR spots.
Those one in the morning, six people just survived.
I mean, some of my best favorite sets I've seen people have are in those spots.
unidentified
Yeah.
ehsan ahmad
Like, damn, you really made this work.
joe rogan
Well, sometimes like reality shines through.
Like they have a real moment on stage where the comedy is just like people like, oh shit.
Like I remember Laura Bites had a set one time and I even posted it.
Me and Burt Kreischer sat in the back of the room and she crushed so hard in front of there was only like 25 people in the room.
ehsan ahmad
Right.
joe rogan
And by the time she was off stage, there were 50 people in the room because people were coming in from other places to come and watch her set.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, when you hear that noise, you're like, okay, what's going on here?
joe rogan
Exactly.
She was just on fire.
She was killing.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, it's like those spots are nice because it's like, you know, your jokes, and you have to work your jokes to get to a certain point where, like, my jokes are funny enough to showcase and work at the club.
And now that I'm at this level, I got the jokes.
Now, can I be funny?
joe rogan
Right.
ehsan ahmad
You know, beyond like what my written, can I be just funny, me as a person?
That's you can kind of really hone that in those sort of late night, tough rooms.
joe rogan
Yeah, you got to do those.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah.
unidentified
Yeah.
ehsan ahmad
And that's what, you know, the store at the end of the day, even through hard and like good times and tough times at the store, that's the reason why they always create monsters.
joe rogan
Yeah.
ehsan ahmad
The store creates monsters.
joe rogan
And Mitzi knew what she was doing.
You know, she had a method to her madness and she tweaked it and got it to the perfect form.
We essentially use a similar form here.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, it's kind of like the method to make comedy happen.
It's like just people in like these tough spots over and over again.
Can you follow monsters?
joe rogan
Right.
ehsan ahmad
Can you follow monsters?
That's the best part about being at the ship is like I've had to follow like Theo and Shane and be like, damn, I just got to do this.
Yeah.
And then you, and then, and then you have to follow like the emerging stars too, because then they have a whole separate energy to them.
Like I remember following both Cam and James McCain after they both started like popping and being like, whoa, just watching the energy around them shift.
joe rogan
Yeah.
unidentified
Yeah.
ehsan ahmad
I know.
He'll be back.
joe rogan
He's got to be back.
ehsan ahmad
He'll be back.
joe rogan
I can't believe they had to go back.
ehsan ahmad
So funny, though.
joe rogan
He's the best.
He's one of my favorite guys out there because he's got such a unique, like, it's his perspective.
It's like, you don't expect it.
It's coming out of him.
If you think the way he does, you get it.
Yeah.
It's really smart.
Really funny.
ehsan ahmad
High energy, too.
It's because usually the hyper intelligent go low energy.
It's very rare that a hyper-intelligent person who's intelligent on stage on purpose like that, like he is, goes high energy.
Right.
That's what makes him unique to me, too.
Usually, when comics are being smart on stage, and I'll do this too, they go soft.
They go, look at me, think.
unidentified
Yeah.
ehsan ahmad
McCann's like, I have the energy of I'm in a bar yelling at you, but it's about Kyrgyzstan.
unidentified
You know, we're lucky, dude.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, the scene is thriving.
joe rogan
Yeah.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, there's so many places to go.
That's why I did mine at Black Rabbit.
Just a small little black box room that's been like, I've had sets there and it's like 10 people and they're amazing.
Wow.
Yeah, they're just there for comedy.
A lot of them are like, they tend to be like these sort of just out of college kids who can't really afford to go to like any of the clubs.
They just have money for the first time.
We're like, oh, we can go to this little spot, like $10 tickets, just get introduced to comedy.
It's a bit of a younger audience there.
joe rogan
Well, there's just, how many spots are just on our street?
ehsan ahmad
On our street?
I mean, like, there's...
joe rogan
Within our street.
Like, within close.
Like...
ehsan ahmad
That you can watch.
joe rogan
You can count Cap City because it's like one over.
Not Cap City, I'm sorry.
ehsan ahmad
Vulcan.
unidentified
No.
ehsan ahmad
And Sunset.
unidentified
Creek.
joe rogan
Creek in the Cave.
Creek and the Cave is one.
ehsan ahmad
In that area, you have Vulcan, Sunset, Creek, Velveeta, and then Bulls.
These are bars that run comedy at least three to four times a week.
It's Bulls.
Oh, fuck.
I'm forgetting one of the places.
I'm blanking on it now.
But Bulls, Black Rabbit.
If you want to count Roscoe's in East Austin, they're a little bit down the road, but they're still kind of in the downtown area.
So it's a nine right there.
NARBAR, that's what I was thinking about.
That's 10.
Shakespeare's runs it a bunch, and Maggie Mays runs it, I think, three times a week.
So there's at least 12 pretty much dedicated comedy rooms, and that's not including mics.
joe rogan
That's crazy.
ehsan ahmad
That's not including mics, just in the area.
joe rogan
When you say mics, for people who don't know, you mean open mics.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, just open mics.
joe rogan
You're talking about booked clubs or professional comedians.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, these are shows with people.
And some of them are rough bar shows, but they are shows and they're booked.
unidentified
Wow.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, and you can get on, you can, there's so many ways to come up.
Oh, you can walk.
You can walk.
I've had nights where I've had five sets and none of them were at the mother shit.
unidentified
Wow.
ehsan ahmad
I'm just, you're just out and about.
Yeah, it is, it is so, and it's just different people getting up in different places.
Each different place has their own ecosystem of comics.
You know, because you go what gives you time.
That's where you always, that's the right way to go no matter what.
joe rogan
Yeah.
ehsan ahmad
Just whatever is feeding you, go, that's where you go.
So there's different ecosystems in each places.
And it's really, it's really fun.
And you just get to see people like, man, just figure it out.
And it's fun to watch.
And they'll figure it out on the podcast end.
They'll figure it out on the comedy end.
And then it all sort of works together.
joe rogan
It's got to be extra dope for you, too, because you were an early settler.
ehsan ahmad
Man, I feel like I got to the gold rush in 48.
I feel like, because when I got here, there was only three.
It was me, Hans, Kim, and Derek, and Dylan.
Dylan was eight years in, but those are the only four of us that were like not famous headliners that weren't new comics, basically.
joe rogan
Right.
ehsan ahmad
So we got to just do so many shows because there was no middle class.
It was all, it was, it was like California.
It was all upper class and all lower class.
It was very – now it's robust.
Now there's just a bunch of killers that are like just moving here all the time.
There's this guy, Nick Murphy, moved from Atlanta.
joe rogan
What year did you move here?
ehsan ahmad
2021.
I moved here early.
I got on a Zoom, I got on a, with Dylan Sullivan.
I used to play this.
I used to play, we used to play Game Master in the pandemic online with our friends because we weren't allowed out, right?
And so he pulled me aside one day on Discord and was like, you got to move here.
And he made the pitch.
And then I was like, I was pretty much there.
And then Derek moved here and he was like, you got to.
joe rogan
And this was just when we were doing shows out of the Vulcan.
ehsan ahmad
This is just shows of the Vulcan.
This was just, but it was indoor shows, man.
And so I moved here and then I was like, because the way I looked at it was like, look, either I'm going to like LA's going to reopen and I'll be working at the comedy store again.
And I'll have at least gotten up in that time and gotten paid to go up because they paid for every spot here.
joe rogan
Right.
ehsan ahmad
If you're booked.
So it's like, I at least got paid.
And so I was like, and then I'll go back to LA.
joe rogan
A little glitch.
But so when you came here, it was just like, look, I'll get some spots.
I'll get paid.
And if the comedy store reopens, I'll go back.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, I'll go back.
Or the club was still two years away from opening, but it's like, I'll stick it out to the club and see what happens.
joe rogan
I was starting to talk about a club back then.
ehsan ahmad
Right.
Yeah.
You would put it on the universe, and that was enough for me to be like, I think he's going to get that done.
And so I took a chance and it ended up working.
And then I ended up being one of the first people passed through there, which ended up a huge, huge blessing.
Because now there's so many killers that it's like hard to get into the mothership.
joe rogan
Yeah.
ehsan ahmad
There's so many people who have moved.
It's like, I almost tell people it's a major city in that way in the sense of like, if you can get good where you are first and then move to Austin, that might be better now than a blind move to Austin.
joe rogan
Right, as an opener.
As a beginner.
ehsan ahmad
As a beginner.
joe rogan
It's hard as a beginner.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah.
joe rogan
It's like LA was for a while.
ehsan ahmad
Oh, LA.
LA is super tough.
I imagine New York is super tough as well.
joe rogan
The store was really tough.
If you wanted to go from open mic to actual spots, like, bro, you got to do spots somewhere else.
Right.
You really should be better.
You're better off coming there with potential.
Like, you've already gotten a few years under your belt.
ehsan ahmad
Than like trying to figure it out in this, because the LA mics are especially brutal.
joe rogan
The thing is, man, if you guys didn't come, it wouldn't have worked.
Like, that was the thing.
It's like the people that really are responsible for the movement, the crazy new scene here, are the ones who came before the club was open.
Brian Simpson, Tom Segura.
Segura was here early, man.
I told him about it.
He's like, I'm fucking moving.
And then, bam, I was like, whoa.
And when Tom moved, I was like, that's a big deal.
You know, because Tom was already doing arenas.
ehsan ahmad
It required a certain amount of people to buy in.
And because of that, I'm very pro-Austin of like, man, if you buy in, look what can happen.
Yeah.
joe rogan
You shouldn't do that.
No one should not be pro-Austin.
It's funny because Lewis and Tony were going back and forth and arguing like Lewis shits on the Austin scene.
Right.
This New York versus Austin thing is the stupidest fucking thing about it.
They should both be awesome.
Who cares?
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, it's unnecessary.
It's unnecessary in fighting.
It's like caddy girlfriend.
It's like, we both clearly can exist in a space where we also help each other.
The New York guys are always here, and I feel like we're always there.
joe rogan
But the point is, Tony and Lewis were going back and forth, and Lewis said, well, LA isn't even in consideration anymore as what's the best place for comedy in the country.
And Tony goes, agreed.
And why do you think that is?
What do you think happened?
Where'd those people go?
And Lewis is like, oh, shit.
ehsan ahmad
But, you know, I will say this because I was just in LA.
I like where the LA scene's at.
It's rebuilding stronger.
unidentified
Of course it is.
Yeah, yeah.
joe rogan
It's the store.
It's the store.
ehsan ahmad
This hole.
joe rogan
It's Hollywood.
It goes through dips.
It's done it before.
When I got there, it was at a low.
When I came in 94, the OR was half empty.
Main room was never full.
And then there was no big talent there.
It's always like that.
It comes, it goes, new people come up.
It's legendary.
It's got a vibe to it.
It creates comedy just by existing.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, it's like it's still every time I'm there.
I'm like, man, this is the fucking place.
joe rogan
It's the fucking place, man.
That's been the place since 1970-something.
I mean, it's that place is crazy.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah.
The building is alive in that place.
unidentified
It's crazy.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, you feel it.
joe rogan
It's soaked with the memories of Kinnison and Kicks and Pryor.
ehsan ahmad
Here's what's crazy.
You know the bucket seats in the back?
Yeah.
If you go during the day, they might have repainted the wall.
So this is when I worked there.
But when you go during the day, because I'd get there early and like write or whatever, and you can look where the bucket seats are, the outline of all the heads because of all the oil of the people leaning back was just there.
So you were just there, and it's just the energy of all these great comics just in the room with you.
Yeah, it was an interesting place to like be during the day because you could sort of feel it.
joe rogan
It's a very special place.
Very special place.
You never get to take away from that.
But the thing is, it's like it should be and it will be even better than it used to be, I'm sure.
But the point is, it's like denying that Austin is an amazing scene is just stupid.
ehsan ahmad
Yes.
joe rogan
It's just stupid.
And also, don't you want another great scene?
Do you want a limited amount of options for comedians?
Don't you want more comics and more comedy?
ehsan ahmad
Right.
And more places for you to end up performing.
unidentified
Shut up.
ehsan ahmad
Like, now you can go to Austin and spend a couple weeks there and get a lot of time and learn how to talk to people here.
joe rogan
There's so many bitches in this world.
So many bitches.
And those bitches never get anything done.
They just sit and bitch.
Yeah, nothing ever gets done.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, yeah.
joe rogan
They never progress.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, man.
Just video essays.
I watch all the video essays.
joe rogan
That's so funny when it's funny.
Why don't you watch it?
ehsan ahmad
It's just so funny to me.
Because they all start.
The whole concept that Austin is ruined comedy is very funny to me.
Because there's so many comics that are blowing up outside everywhere all the time.
unidentified
It's just silly.
joe rogan
It's like my friend said, it's a walled garden.
unidentified
That's what it is.
joe rogan
It seems like the people are having too much fun.
And if you're not there and if you don't have aspirations to be there, you feel bad about it.
Mike the Greaser 00:04:31
joe rogan
When I lived in Boston, the store was like Mecca.
Like people would talk about it.
I was like, you got to make the pilgrimage to the comedy store.
It was one of the first things I did when I came to LA.
ehsan ahmad
Oh, no, it's a big deal.
The first time you go there, I remember looking at it and being just the feeling in my heart.
joe rogan
The first time I went there, I hadn't even moved there yet.
I went there just to watch.
I told them I was a comedian from New York.
I'm like, can I go and watch a set?
They're like, yeah, sure.
And they'll let me come in and I sat in the back and watched.
And it was like Bodaks.
It was terrible.
It was really bad.
A bunch of cruise ship acts, like a bunch of guys who had the same act from the 1970s.
They had never, you know, those dudes that like, you'll see them at the store occasionally now that have an act from the 80s.
Well, these dudes, it was like a decade earlier.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, when I worked at La Jolla, there was one guy that they booked that they had like some deal with Mitzi that he got to perform once a year at the La Jolla.
And man, you could just tell, man, it's been you haven't changed this act since the 70s.
joe rogan
Yeah, they just never evolved.
And, you know, and they weren't getting spots when Kinnison was around.
The place was packed.
And then Kinnison left.
And then he had a billboard.
He put a billboard right in front of the comedy store of his new album that was coming out.
ehsan ahmad
Why did he leave the store?
joe rogan
Oh, I don't know.
He probably did something stupid.
ehsan ahmad
Okay.
joe rogan
I think he definitely fired off a gun because remember he shot the bullet hole is still there.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah.
joe rogan
I heard they fixed the sign, though.
No, it's a fixed the plastic.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, they might have.
I think that the plastic was falling apart, but they kept the bullet hole because the bullet hole is still there.
unidentified
Okay.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, I went and looked.
I made sure.
unidentified
Pretty crazy.
ehsan ahmad
The Kinnison bullet hole is like part of the thing there.
joe rogan
But the cracked glass was also part of the thing.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, but I think eventually it just fell apart.
unidentified
It's been like 40 years since that happened.
joe rogan
I mean, that might have been what got him banned.
Not sure.
But then he was banned.
And then when I came, it was 94, so he was already dead.
He was dead, and Hicks was dead.
So it was weird.
ehsan ahmad
Okay, and so that was the lull was from.
That's where the lull was from.
They were just kind of missing that top level guy.
joe rogan
There was a lull.
And guys would occasionally drop in to work out, but they didn't put their name on the marquee.
No one ever knew they were going to be there.
Like Chris Rock would come in and work out.
Damon would come in and work out.
But the big comics that were there, like Dom Marrero would stop in.
There was guys that would stop in.
But then it was mostly us younger guys.
Holtzman was a big part back then.
ehsan ahmad
I can't imagine Holtzman as a young guy.
joe rogan
I mean, me and them.
We're only a few ages or a few years different.
ehsan ahmad
It feels like he's just looked like that since he did as a kid.
joe rogan
He was a throwback.
He looked like he was from the 1950s when I met him in 94.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah.
joe rogan
Like slick back, dark hair.
Right.
Always the best.
Always a nice guy.
unidentified
Yeah.
ehsan ahmad
Oh, my God.
He's the sweetest guy in the world.
There's something about guys who are like that on stage are always super sweet off stage.
Because they like truly get all the venom out.
It's like William Montgomery.
If you watch William Montgomery on stage, he's a raving lunatic.
Yeah.
joe rogan
That picture.
unidentified
Oh, wow.
joe rogan
Look at Holtzman to the right with a suit on.
ehsan ahmad
Oh, my God.
And then Paulie.
Who's next to you?
joe rogan
Freddy Soto.
ehsan ahmad
That's Freddy Soto.
joe rogan
Damn.
Boy, that was probably like 96.
Crazy.
unidentified
Crazy.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, Brian does look the exact same.
joe rogan
He looks the exact same.
He had jet black hair, and he would...
ehsan ahmad
You know what it kind of looks like?
unidentified
There's...
joe rogan
That's his headshot.
ehsan ahmad
There's this guy on Instagram where his whole thing is just he pretends to be a greaser.
joe rogan
Oh, really?
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, but like unironically, that's kind of what he looks like.
But it's really funny because all his comments are just like, yo, show us that hog.
Like, that's become the— He does, like, grease or shit.
And then all the comics are like, but how come where's the hog reveal?
joe rogan
Why is hog?
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, it's become like.
He's so unironically trying to be a greaser that the comments came up with their own sort of culture around him.
joe rogan
So it's coming.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, the kind of mocking.
They're all kind of making fun of him.
But he's genuinely trying to portray this guy as this greaser guy.
It's like Mike the Greaser or something like that.
It's so funny.
joe rogan
Well, Holtzman was just, I thought he was going to blow up, man.
unidentified
I really did.
joe rogan
I was like, oh, this guy's going to be fucking huge.
This guy's going to be gigantic.
There was a few guys back then that I was like, that guy's going to be big.
Did you ever see Mike Ricca?
ehsan ahmad
No.
Earl Sandwich Takes Over 00:15:24
joe rogan
The early 90s, Mike Ricca was great, man.
I don't know what happened.
I don't know what happened with him.
ehsan ahmad
It's so.
joe rogan
I don't even know if he does comedy anymore.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, it's so easy.
People fall off all the time.
Because it is brutal.
The game is brutal.
joe rogan
It can be.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, yeah.
joe rogan
Yeah, but you have to have something brutal outside of the game to keep you centered.
You should do something else that's also difficult.
For me, it's obviously working out.
That's a big part of what keeps me sane.
I think it's important for mental health.
The people that are the most mentally unhealthy and unstable that I know all have no control of their body.
None of them exercise.
They don't eat well.
They eat terrible food.
They take medications and they're all fucked up in the head.
And then little things can send them off a deep end.
Once a person makes a mean tweet about them and a couple people pile on and they want to jump off a building.
unidentified
Right.
joe rogan
You know, there's a bunch of those people out there.
And I think with the pressures of this job, you have to, for your own sanity, you have to find some sort of an outlet.
Find some sort of a thing.
ehsan ahmad
Or like take a walk.
joe rogan
That too.
unidentified
Yeah, yeah.
ehsan ahmad
It's so.
joe rogan
That'll help, but it should be something that's a little bit that you exert yourself.
ehsan ahmad
Well, that's like, I was like, that's a good place to start if you're one of these people that like don't do like just a simple walk can really get the ball rolling.
joe rogan
Don't jump right into CrossFit.
unidentified
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
joe rogan
From nothing couch to CrossFit.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, just be outside and like smell the air and be or so.
Because like, does your phone send you the screen time updates?
unidentified
What do you mean?
ehsan ahmad
Like, so my phone will send me like a week lead.
Like, this is how much you spend on your phone.
joe rogan
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
unidentified
Yeah.
ehsan ahmad
For me, it's like, damn, this is like a full-time job that I'm spending on my phone.
It's disgusting.
And I have to just remind myself, like, oh, the reason I feel bad is because I'm on this.
joe rogan
100%.
ehsan ahmad
I'm on this, and I'm consuming a fake reality that, like, I think one of the most dangerous things that the phone, like the online existence does is it calls like people like call their fans and stuff a community, and it's not really a community.
Your community has to be people you see in person.
It can't be this online, possibly fake fan club, basically.
joe rogan
Well, it certainly can't be a large percentage of your interactions with people.
That's nuts.
But I mean, there is some sort of a community that you kind of cultivate by interacting with people on social media.
It's just at what price?
ehsan ahmad
Right.
joe rogan
You know, and at what price?
And then how much are you doom scrolling other than interacting with people and having like semi-positive experiences, communicating, like sharing ideas?
How much of it is just doom scrolling?
ehsan ahmad
Right.
joe rogan
For me, it was a lot.
And so I backed off it heavy.
So I still spend a lot of time on YouTube, though.
My distraction time is almost all YouTube.
ehsan ahmad
No, I'm a doom scroller.
Yeah, because you get caught.
You see one thing and you're like, it's so easy to just do that.
joe rogan
It is, but I don't want that because it makes me feel weird.
But YouTube doesn't make me feel weird.
So if I watch some really cool video on ancient history or something, I never feel bad at all.
I'm like, oh, that was cool.
I don't come out of it with any negative feeling.
I just come out of it like, oh, that's interesting.
ehsan ahmad
I learned something.
YouTube is like the modern television now.
joe rogan
Oh, it's fucking phenomenal.
ehsan ahmad
That's the one.
joe rogan
Phenomenal.
ehsan ahmad
You can just find some.
There's people making high-quality things.
Sometimes I'll get caught up in things that I don't even care about.
I'm not a huge horror movie fan.
I like movies, but I found this one page called Nightmare Movies, and he just explains his favorite horror movies.
And he has a great voice.
And I've watched all of his videos.
Zero interest in watching any of the movies.
I'm interested in watching him react to the movies.
unidentified
Really?
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
joe rogan
What's really dope on YouTube also is these little short horror movies that people make on their own.
Like real, super low budget, but like really interesting ideas.
There's a ton of them, man.
ehsan ahmad
Right.
joe rogan
Some of them are fucking great.
They're really cool.
They're like eight minutes long.
ehsan ahmad
They're two minutes long and they can just get you.
joe rogan
Yeah.
There's so much entertainment.
I like watching people make furniture for some reason.
I really do.
I love watching people make like live edge tables and shit.
And I don't know.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, it's just like, oh, this tickles me.
joe rogan
I like watching people cook.
I watch a lot of cooking.
ehsan ahmad
Well, it's so like you can, everyone's entertainment's so like in their own lane that you can come across a video and be like 8 million views and you've never even seen it.
Like true virality is tough.
Like in the future, are there going to be even like A-list celebrities like that?
You know?
Or there's going to be less and less like A, like what would you describe as an A-list celebrity, right?
joe rogan
Sure, right.
ehsan ahmad
Because everyone has their own sort of lane.
joe rogan
Well, there's more celebrities now than there ever have been before.
For sure.
There's more, let's just say famous people.
There's more people that are known than ever before because of social media.
Think about all the streamers and YouTubers and podcasts.
ehsan ahmad
And that's a huge streaming scene.
It's insane.
Yeah, it's insane.
joe rogan
So there's that.
So that muddies the water because you go back to like, let's go back to like 1960 when Paul Newman was a superstar making movies.
How many fucking Paul Newmans were there?
ehsan ahmad
Right.
Yeah.
joe rogan
Was it 10?
unidentified
Yeah.
ehsan ahmad
On Earth?
joe rogan
Like, if you wanted to make a big movie, you got Marlon Brando, Paul Newman.
You know, you have a few people.
ehsan ahmad
Like a star on Sidney Sweeney's level now.
joe rogan
Right.
ehsan ahmad
Back then, that would be a name to sell movies.
Now, like, there's movies that she's in that people don't watch.
joe rogan
Right.
ehsan ahmad
And that's like what an A-list celebrity is now.
It's like there's so much stuff you're competing with.
joe rogan
There's so much content.
Just period.
I'm always watching a new show.
There's always a new show, and they're fucking great.
There's so many great shows.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, or not even just random Instagram accounts.
Dude, I watched this guy's Sandwiches of History.
All he does is he finds a sandwich book from them from the early 1900s and just makes a sandwich in them.
joe rogan
Is any of them good?
ehsan ahmad
Some of them are amazing, and some of them suck ass.
Some of them are like, some of them are like a depression era.
You know what I mean?
It's like bread and sawdust or whatever, you know?
But some of them are like, damn, that's like a good sandwich.
And I just watch this guy eat sandwiches and be like, this is a great use of my time.
jamie vernon
Making an orange peel sandwich from 1921 here.
joe rogan
1921.
So you take orange peels, you mix it up with mayonnaise, and you spread it on bread.
Let's see his face.
ehsan ahmad
He always goes, I'll give this sandwich a go.
He has like a catchphrase.
I'm all about it.
unidentified
Hmm.
joe rogan
Okay.
ehsan ahmad
It doesn't look like he likes it.
joe rogan
It's a terrible idea.
unidentified
It's a terrible idea.
joe rogan
Orange peel sandwich the fuck out of here.
ehsan ahmad
Well, that's what people ate.
joe rogan
Yeah, starving.
Starving, you eat an orange peel sandwich.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, yeah.
joe rogan
The sandwich was made by a guy who was in a hurry, right?
Wasn't that the idea?
He just threw some fucking meat and some bread to eat it all together.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, I think so.
And then the people were like, wow, wasn't his name sandwich?
He was like the Earl of Sandwich.
I think it was a sandwich.
That was a place.
joe rogan
Yeah.
jamie vernon
As I'm saying that, is that real, though?
Is that just like Google?
joe rogan
We've definitely searched this before.
ehsan ahmad
Isn't there an Earl of Sandwich?
jamie vernon
No, there 100% is, but it's also like a store.
And I'm just like, I'm like, is that even maybe just like a little silly myth?
ehsan ahmad
I'll tell you what, if the sandwich didn't originate with the Earl of Sandwich, what a mighty coincidence that is.
What a real deal.
joe rogan
There is an Earl of Sandwich.
What is the origins of the term sandwich?
jamie vernon
I'm stuck looking at the Earl of Sandwich.
ehsan ahmad
Okay, so the Earl of Sandwich exists.
joe rogan
But just put into perplexity, what are the origins of the sandwich?
I'm pretty sure it was like a military guy.
ehsan ahmad
Yes.
joe rogan
And he was like, fuck it, just give me the bread and the meat.
I'll put it together.
And he cut the bread open, stuffed it in there.
Because I think they used to just eat bread and eat meat.
Eat bread.
They just ate bread by itself.
They were too stupid to define it.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, yeah, yeah, very autistically.
Keep the food separate.
joe rogan
18th century England named after John Montagu.
ehsan ahmad
The fourth Earl of Sandwich.
joe rogan
Aha.
jamie vernon
John is the Earl of Sandwich.
ehsan ahmad
During a prolonged card game in 19 and 1762.
joe rogan
Oh, that's right.
He was gambling.
ehsan ahmad
He was gambling.
joe rogan
That's right.
Now I remember.
ehsan ahmad
Oh, well, now that gambling's so fucking massive now, what cool food is going to come out of that?
joe rogan
It's already here.
Fast food Uber Eats will deliver it right to your table.
Allowing him to eat without interrupting play.
The practice creation popularized the handheld meal among England's elite.
There it is.
ehsan ahmad
Oh, that's so funny.
It used to be an elite food.
joe rogan
Oh, so it looks like the Romans had it before.
It says similar concepts predated Montagu, such as the Roman Ophela, which involved meat or cheese between bread slices.
That's a sandwich.
ehsan ahmad
Right.
joe rogan
They just didn't call it that.
Huh.
ehsan ahmad
They finally had a name that stuck.
Is there a current Earl of Sandwich?
joe rogan
I bet there is.
Imagine if he's gluten-sensitive.
jamie vernon
That's what I was thinking through is this, but I didn't get any good information from it.
joe rogan
Well, now we know.
You want to talk about places to eat?
Austin has an amazing fucking selection of places to eat.
ehsan ahmad
During the day, the night leaves a little.
Yeah, there needs to be a late-night diner out there.
joe rogan
Well, we were talking about that last night.
One of the things I really miss about LA is the Jewish delis.
Like Cantors.
ehsan ahmad
Yes.
joe rogan
We used to go there after a club.
We'd leave and we'd go to Cantors and I would get a pastrami Reuben with steak fries.
Oh my God.
Have you ever had a pastrami Ruben from Cantors?
unidentified
Yeah.
Good lord.
ehsan ahmad
That's what you get at Cantors.
joe rogan
Good lord.
unidentified
That's good.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah.
joe rogan
I mean, it might be the best pastrami Reuben on earth.
It's right up there with Katz Deli in New York City, which is maybe the king.
ehsan ahmad
Oh, I've never been there.
joe rogan
Oh, Lord.
Katz Deli in New York City is fucking legendary.
First of all, you have to, you get a ticket when you get there.
I don't even know if they accept credit cards.
You might have to pay in cash.
unidentified
Oh, I like that.
joe rogan
You get a ticket when you get there, and you can't lose your ticket.
If you lose your ticket, you got to pay like 50 bucks because you take that ticket, and on that ticket, they write all the things you get.
So you go up to the counter and they're like, We're going to get you.
And there's guys that have been fucking chopping meat since the 20s, you know, and they'll slice you off a couple of pieces of brisket, slice you off a couple of pieces of pastrami, and you get to eat it while you're there, while you're waiting for your sandwich to be made.
And, you know, you tell him what you want, and he pulls the fucking pastrami out and starts slicing it up in front of you.
Steam's coming off of it.
He's piling it on that rye bread.
You're like, oh, you can't wait.
And then he gives you a couple pickles in there, and then you're like, what else you want?
And then you move down the line.
Like, I got to order fries, you get to order fries.
I want a root beer, pa, ba, pa.
And then you get to the end, and they put it all on your ticket.
And then when you leave, after you've eaten, then you bring the ticket up to the counter.
ehsan ahmad
Ah, okay.
So it's food plus accountability.
You have to keep track of stuff.
joe rogan
It's a weird old system, so nobody pays attention.
So everyone loses their fucking ticket from out of town.
If you've never been there before, you're like, what?
The ticket?
unidentified
What?
joe rogan
What happened?
ehsan ahmad
How much is it?
It's a way to scam the tourists a little bit.
It's like a tourist fee, not a scam.
joe rogan
Well, I just think it's how they used to account back then, and they just never changed it.
It's kind of the charm of the place.
It's got this weird thing.
Show me some Cantor sandwiches, son.
ehsan ahmad
Show me some of that.
When I was a door guy, we were big swingers, guys.
That was the show me Cats.
Cats' cats.
That was the diner we went to.
joe rogan
Swingers was great.
That was a great diner.
Yeah, that was a great diner.
Really good food.
And that was open pretty late, too.
unidentified
Look at that, son.
joe rogan
Are you fucking kidding me?
Look at that pastrami with Swiss cheese.
Oh, Lord.
That's so good.
And they pile it up high, and they've been doing it that way since the fucking 1800s.
How old is Cantor's?
jamie vernon
1888.
joe rogan
1888?
ehsan ahmad
Jeez.
joe rogan
1888.
Look how good that looks.
Oh.
You can see how she's pulling it like that.
The flavors.
Oh.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, see, this is what Austin is definitely missing.
Yeah.
They need something late at night, something that we can all eat where you can go and hang out.
joe rogan
Now, I had heard that someone was opening a Cat's deli in Austin.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Right?
But I don't think it's Katz Cat's Deli from New York City.
ehsan ahmad
No, it's just called Cat's Deli.
Cats Never Closes.
joe rogan
Oh, coming soon.
Hold on.
Go back.
Coming soon on 6th Street.
How far is that from us?
ehsan ahmad
Well, we're on 6th.
jamie vernon
It's on West 6.
ehsan ahmad
It's on West 6th, so it's like near.
jamie vernon
It's taking over our current spot.
joe rogan
Yeah.
What's that?
jamie vernon
It's taking over us.
I think there's like a bar there or something now.
joe rogan
Oh, okay.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, it's kind of near where we're at.
joe rogan
Holding in the same location as the OG Cats is operated for 32 years.
So it's way down by Jay Carver's.
Yeah, but that's a five-minute drive.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, you can walk there from there.
We do that all the time.
joe rogan
Cats never closes.
ehsan ahmad
But that was August 18th.
Has there been any news since?
joe rogan
Is it open?
jamie vernon
Yeah, no, no, no, it's going to take a year.
ehsan ahmad
Oh, it's going to take a year.
joe rogan
Oh, they're building it out.
Yeah, yeah.
Whoa.
jamie vernon
There's a few places like that that are just, they got the name out and it's going to be open in a year and a half.
joe rogan
So was there an original Katz's Never Closes, or is this a new one?
jamie vernon
That's the one that's that's where it was.
It closed in 2011.
joe rogan
So they lied.
jamie vernon
No, what do you mean?
joe rogan
Fucking closed.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, Katz sometimes closes for 15 years.
joe rogan
By the way, I would have never allowed them to use a K for closes.
Like, guys, we're not kooky.
ehsan ahmad
Stop.
Yeah, you're not Krispy Kreme.
joe rogan
Yeah, why are you doing that?
ehsan ahmad
All right.
joe rogan
So expected in 2026, maybe 2027.
ehsan ahmad
Well, hopefully they.
Because that's the big hole right now in the Austin game.
joe rogan
Look at it, though.
This is it.
New York-style deli menu with sandwiches like Rubens, day-long breakfast dishes like waffle egg sandwiches and blintzes, entrees including pork roasts and meatloaf.
Oh my god, it sounds amazing.
Open 24-7.
ehsan ahmad
All right, that'll be it for us.
Yes, it'll be it.
Finally, finally.
Because that was the big hole.
Outside of that, Austin has like amazing food.
joe rogan
We should help them.
ehsan ahmad
But yeah, after 10 p.m., it gets rough pickings.
joe rogan
Yeah, let's blow them up when they open up.
ehsan ahmad
A lot of halal carts, which I wouldn't expect in Austin.
That's such a funny thing.
Going through there, I wouldn't be like, oh, halal carts would be a good way I get late-night food.
joe rogan
Entrepreneurs recognize the need.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, there's the only things you can get.
joe rogan
Oh, there's Golden Tiger.
unidentified
That's great.
joe rogan
They're open pretty late, right?
ehsan ahmad
They're open till like 1:30.
joe rogan
Yeah.
ehsan ahmad
That's pretty late.
That's pretty good.
The comic life, you're like out at two.
unidentified
I know.
Yeah, that's it.
joe rogan
Looking for food at two.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, at two.
And you're like, well, thank God the Mexican hot dog carts people are here.
joe rogan
Right.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, that happened recently.
They started showing up.
joe rogan
Yeah, there's always smart people to capitalize.
Because there's always, I mean, there's just so many people walking around drunk.
ehsan ahmad
Right, just looking for stuff.
joe rogan
Especially 6th Street.
You got a taco truck.
You can kill it.
ehsan ahmad
Oh, yeah.
joe rogan
On 6th Street?
ehsan ahmad
Oh, at 2 in the morning, all the fucking zombies.
joe rogan
And there's that road when you go up to 7th where when you're headed towards Creek, there's a whole parking lot that's got a bunch of food trucks up in there.
ehsan ahmad
My favorite place is called Diddy Dog.
They got Bulgogi fries.
joe rogan
Bulgogi fries.
ehsan ahmad
Bulgogi fries.
joe rogan
Isn't there a really good cheeseburger place over there, too?
unidentified
Oh, yeah.
ehsan ahmad
There's the Yala Burgers.
They're pretty good.
But for me, downtown, if I'm eating downtown, I'm eating the Bulgogi fries.
joe rogan
That's good, huh?
ehsan ahmad
Oh, yeah.
Terry Black's Beef Ribs 00:03:11
ehsan ahmad
They're a lot, so I can't get them very often.
Now that I'm older, that I'm like, oh, yeah, I have to take care of myself.
But when I first moved here, I was on that Bulgogi fry diet, son.
joe rogan
It's kind of insane how many great restaurants there are here, though.
ehsan ahmad
It's like, oh, yeah.
joe rogan
The numbers, nuts.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, just and good casual eating places, too.
It's like you can really.
Everyone who moves, I call it when you move to Austin, there's the freshman 15.
joe rogan
Just from eating here.
ehsan ahmad
Just from eating here.
You just get it.
And then after you live here for like five years, you get, I think you just get so tired of brisket that you can't look at it again for a while.
I eat so much brisket that I only go now when like out of town people bark.
That's funny.
joe rogan
Yeah, I can eat it 24 days out of a month.
I'll take six off.
ehsan ahmad
Oh, no, no.
joe rogan
I love it.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah.
Sometimes the Terry Blacks will come to the green room and I'll be like, I can't look at this right now.
unidentified
Oh, no.
ehsan ahmad
This is like day three in a row of Terry Black's.
Not to complain, but it is.
joe rogan
Terry Blacks has those beef ribs, dog.
ehsan ahmad
That's the best.
joe rogan
Beef ribs are insane.
ehsan ahmad
I do describe it.
I hear that.
You got to take every tourist.
It's like the Disneyland of Austin.
joe rogan
Yeah.
unidentified
Yeah.
ehsan ahmad
It's a line that moves quickly.
You can see everything's made.
joe rogan
And it's a fucking huge place.
I think they're like the highest volume restaurant in the country.
ehsan ahmad
Really?
joe rogan
Yeah, I think in terms of like brisket and barbecue and stuff, I think they were telling me that.
I forget what the exact statistic they told me, but it was like the volume of food that they serve there is like as high as anywhere in the country.
ehsan ahmad
That makes sense.
There's always a line there.
joe rogan
Giant line.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, yeah.
And they always move quickly, so they're always getting people in and out.
joe rogan
Well, you can only eat so much.
Like when you sit down and eat barbecue, you ain't sitting there for three hours, bitch.
ehsan ahmad
No.
No.
And you also always get more than you can eat.
joe rogan
Yeah.
unidentified
Yeah.
ehsan ahmad
You always like.
Yeah, because it looks so good up there.
And then like the second you have like their cornbread, you're so full.
unidentified
What the fuck is that?
You're going to have those beef ribs, man.
joe rogan
They're so rich.
You can only eat like so much of it before you're like, oh.
ehsan ahmad
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Not before a show.
That's always a mistake that people make.
joe rogan
Bro, last time we had a whole group of us, I made a mistake of sitting next to Metzger, and I was in the corner.
unidentified
I was fucking looming over me with conspiracy theories.
joe rogan
I'm like, Kurt, you got to stop.
Try to enjoy these ribs.
You got to stop.
jamie vernon
I don't know if it's just the Terry Blacks in Austin because I know they have one in Dallas, I think, too.
But it says 18% of America's brisket is served by them.
ehsan ahmad
18% of Americans have so much brisket.
unidentified
That's crazy.
ehsan ahmad
Metzger's a fun one.
In the green room, he says, my favorite is when he'll be like, what?
I thought this was common knowledge.
joe rogan
You don't know?
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, you don't know.
There was something you said in the green room the other day about like Morgan Freeman.
Some deep conspiracy about Morgan Freeman.
And we're like, what the fuck are you talking about?
It's like, well, I thought this was common knowledge.
It's like, no, no one knows anything about what you're talking about.
joe rogan
Is it the Morgan Freeman dated his granddaughter?
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, his step-granddaughter.
joe rogan
Step-granddaughter.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, dated her, and then the boyfriend went crazy and like killed her.
Living in Conspiracy World 00:02:23
ehsan ahmad
And he was like, I thought that was common knowledge.
It's like, what do you mean?
joe rogan
Is that true?
The boyfriend went crazy and killed her?
ehsan ahmad
That's what he said.
I looked at it afterwards and I was like, I don't know where Kurt gets his news plugged in straight from the Matrix, I think.
I don't even know where he finds his stuff.
joe rogan
Well, he's on that Jimmy Doer show.
You know, and Jimmy Door show, the entire show is about exposing corruption and conspiracies.
And it's a lot.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah.
joe rogan
You live in that world all the time.
ehsan ahmad
And everything becomes a conspiracy and everything.
joe rogan
It doesn't leave a lot of room for sunshine.
Also, here's the thing.
There's enough conspiracy.
Like we talked about the Franklin scandal.
There's enough conspiracies that are absolutely real and provable that if you go into it, you will kind of go crazy.
ehsan ahmad
Right.
joe rogan
I mean, this is what kind of happened to Alex Jones.
This is what happens to a lot of people that get involved in conspiracies.
It's like you find out how many of them are true and you start losing your fucking mind.
You're like, what is real?
Like, what really controls the world?
Like, what fucking lizard people are really at the center of this whole thing?
ehsan ahmad
Right.
Yeah.
That's kind of better to just stay away at a certain point.
Just be like, yeah.
joe rogan
Well, you should probably pay attention a little bit, but some people must have an obligation to do it because if it doesn't get exposed, then it's going to continue.
And the only way that you can kind of put a stop to this stuff is people have to get busted and they have to be held accountable.
The public has to get outraged.
So someone has to be making these videos.
But it doesn't have to be you.
ehsan ahmad
Right.
joe rogan
It doesn't have to be you.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah.
joe rogan
Like for your own personal mental health, it's just not good to absorb all of the evil of the world.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, there's no reason to take that on.
There's no reason.
Just find happiness in your lane.
unidentified
Yeah.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah.
I feel like that's pretty easy to do.
joe rogan
Yeah, I feel like that's pretty easy to do.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, just a lot of it.
Just be happy with where you are and work from there.
joe rogan
Yeah, but it's just like some people feel obligated to be a part of something, you know, and then you find the thing about with Metzger is like, he wasn't always like this.
I was friends with him long before he started working with Jimmy.
And he was, you know, fun and crazy, always like the same kind of guy.
But now it's like the obsession is all on deep corruption and conspiracies.
Weird Shit Out There 00:15:35
joe rogan
It's like, yo.
But he's right.
He's right about a lot of it.
ehsan ahmad
Right.
joe rogan
Which is nuts.
And he maintains a lot of it in his fucking brain, just bouncing around in there.
ehsan ahmad
But yeah, but I mean, it's, yeah, it just takes over man.
I do think White Precious, his Comedy Central special, that's low-key, one of the most underrated specials of all time.
The special is crazy.
joe rogan
He's very funny.
ehsan ahmad
That special is great.
joe rogan
He's very good.
His writing's very good.
He's just very smart.
He's a great podcast guest, too.
Basically, just got to kind of corral him a little bit.
Because he'll go from one subject to the next subject to the next, all in like one rant.
You're like, okay, go back to that first one.
Queen Elizabeth did what?
Yeah.
You know?
ehsan ahmad
Yeah.
joe rogan
He's just, well, we have a lot of, I mean, he's another one that lives in Austin now.
We have a lot of them.
It's pretty cool.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, it's so fun watching all these young kids dude rise up and be like and just like find themselves.
It's so like I mentioned Fuzzy earlier, but just watching him on stage, like he does it.
It's great watching him just like figure out to not give a fuck and then see what comes from that.
joe rogan
Yeah.
ehsan ahmad
Like right now, he's doing these things at the end when he closes out like Fat Man.
He'll also do a Q ⁇ A, but he's not famous.
So the questions are so much funnier.
And like the answers are so much wilder because it's just some guy that they all just met.
joe rogan
That's hilarious.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, so it's a very fun dynamic to watch his Q ⁇ As and just being because the whole audience is like, wait, we're doing a Q ⁇ A. Why?
We had no questions coming in.
joe rogan
That's funny.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
The first time I ever saw anybody do a Q ⁇ A was Seinfeld.
ehsan ahmad
Really?
joe rogan
Yeah, he did a whole set.
He did like 45 minutes.
And then it was at the Paradise in Boston.
The Paradise was a small club.
It was a rock and roll club that was connected to Stitches.
And Stitches was the comedy club.
So for the comedy club, like if you're a regular comedian, I think Stitches probably seated maybe 150 people.
It was like a little bit bigger than Little Boy.
And so if you were a regular comic, like a Road headliner, you'd do Stitches.
And then if you're a big guy, like Jerry Seinfeld who'd been on television, you'd do the Paradise.
So I was with a date.
I think I was maybe 20.
And I went to see Jerry Seinfeld before I ever did stand up.
And he did stand up.
And then he came back out and he answered questions.
And he would just riff with the audience.
And it was fucking great.
It was really cool.
He just started riffing about stuff.
I guess that's like how he was creating material and coming up with new premises.
unidentified
Yeah.
ehsan ahmad
Do you get bits when you do that?
joe rogan
Sometimes.
Yeah.
It's, it's not an exact science.
Like, we'll have a whole fun Q ⁇ A session for 20 minutes and there's no bits.
ehsan ahmad
Right.
joe rogan
And I'll do it five times, six times, and then one time, bam, I got one.
And then you just got to grab that sucker and reel it into the shore.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, and just work on it.
joe rogan
Yeah, and then figure it out.
But I've bottom of the barrel is the best.
Bottom of the barrel is the best premise factory ever.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
I feel like, because there's certain people who do it.
Like, I think you're great at it.
And I feel like you should, like, if you were thinking about doing a special, would you ever consider doing a bottom of the barrel type special?
joe rogan
No, because I'd say too much wild shit that I wouldn't want to get published.
ehsan ahmad
That's a very fair point.
That's a very, the most insane shit I've ever said has been on bottom of the barrel.
And just like, I'm so glad there's a place where I can get this thought out because they'll look at you like, yo, what the fuck?
joe rogan
And you're like, hey, this isn't my idea.
You fucking wrote this down.
unidentified
Yeah.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah.
They get mad at you for that.
I remember one time I got bestiality and it reminded me of a story.
So the way we consumed porn as kids, because you guys had like magazines and you'd find in the woods.
You have a bit about that.
joe rogan
Yeah.
unidentified
Yeah.
ehsan ahmad
That wasn't us.
So there was these, this is like pre-pornhub.
So these pre-Youtubes of porn, as I call them, but there were these like dedicated sites.
They'd be like, one of them was like Mr. Chu's Asian Beaver.
I think you can tell what that's about.
That one was a great thing.
joe rogan
Probably run by a Jewish guy.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, for sure.
joe rogan
Definitely not a Mr. Chu.
ehsan ahmad
There was at the very end, there was this very racist cartoon Beaver, and he would have like the buck teeth and the rice hat, and then he would rate every girl out of Fortune, like out of five Fortune cookies at the end of each video.
That was the whole premise of the site.
That's what we were coming up with in porn.
And then one day, and we'd watch that together in like seventh grade.
Like that's the R huddling around the magazine.
And then one day we invited the weird guy and he had found one where people fuck animals.
Yeah, it was like wild.
And there's been very famous videos.
I think there's one called like Mr. Hands or something like that.
unidentified
Yeah, yeah.
ehsan ahmad
There's very famous, like those originated out of those sites.
And so he was showing us that.
And then what I said on stage is, it gave me the life experience to know that sometimes when you, sometimes when you watch people fuck a dog, sometime the dog enjoys it.
And they all looked at me like I was horrified, which is a kind of horrifying thing to say, but I was also like, well, you brought it up.
joe rogan
Yeah.
ehsan ahmad
I wasn't going to tell the story unless you asked me.
joe rogan
Some dogs must like it.
There's probably a girl dog out there that likes some dick.
ehsan ahmad
Oh, I mean, there's probably a guy.
There's probably a guy dog out there that's giving some dick right now.
unidentified
For sure.
ehsan ahmad
Oh, yeah.
joe rogan
Ladies.
ehsan ahmad
To some crazy ladies.
joe rogan
Seen videos when I was a kid, there was like this video that a friend of mine had, and I remember one of us had to watch the door.
So it was like a sentry?
Yeah, because there's a door down into the basement.
So one of us had to stand up at the door, and the rest of us were huddled in front of this fucking 12-inch television with a VCR attached to it.
ehsan ahmad
Damn.
joe rogan
And you put the VHS tape in there.
We're watching like a copy of a copy of a copy of Barnyard Betty.
And Barnyard Betty was this crazy.
They took some crazy crackhead and they gave her money to suck a dog's dick and get fucked by a German Shepherd.
It's weird to watch, man.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah.
You come across some weird shit out there.
joe rogan
Dog just pumped nut into this fucking poor, drunken, sad, alcoholic, drug addict lady.
ehsan ahmad
Jesus.
joe rogan
Sad.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah.
joe rogan
Sad.
unidentified
Yeah.
ehsan ahmad
That's a.
But that's, yeah, that's, that's how fucked.
Well, porn's fucked.
It's just so, it's so crazy how it's just moved towards.
I guess it's more empowering, I guess, what it's about, individual creators.
joe rogan
Right, like OnlyFans?
ehsan ahmad
Yeah.
joe rogan
Do you know the numbers?
You ever seen the numbers?
ehsan ahmad
I saw the one lady that makes more than LeBron.
joe rogan
Yeah, that, but I mean, the number of actual girls that are on OnlyFans.
ehsan ahmad
Oh, it must be.
It must be depressing.
joe rogan
Crazy.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, and it must be depressing how many people are selling themselves to like nobody.
joe rogan
Exactly.
That's the thing.
The vast majority aren't making any money.
ehsan ahmad
Right.
joe rogan
And then their pussy's out there forever.
ehsan ahmad
Just forever.
joe rogan
Yeah, they're getting fucked by a dildo in front of the whole world.
A guy saves it on his hard drive forever and ever and ever and ever.
ehsan ahmad
Right.
joe rogan
And you were 19 and you just didn't want to work.
But I think the number between girls of 18 to, I forget what the age is, something in their 20s, it's like 10%.
That's crazy.
ehsan ahmad
That's wild.
But it's content creation.
It's like that's a genuine market that people are going for.
That's the way to do it.
joe rogan
It's also pornography.
ehsan ahmad
It is pornography.
unidentified
Right.
joe rogan
But I mean, content creation is TikTok, Instagram.
unidentified
Right.
joe rogan
You know what I mean?
Like, that's content creation.
ehsan ahmad
I think they view it in the same vein.
Wow.
joe rogan
It depends on what you do, right?
ehsan ahmad
I know that top lady, and this is something.
Sophie Rain.
And this is something that's just interesting across all Gen Z is that her thing is that she's a virgin.
unidentified
Right.
ehsan ahmad
And that's how she sells, which is like, yeah, which, you know, take it for what it is, but like her and that the Nick Shirley guy virgin, Nick Fuentes virgin, it's like, that's like a thing that you can sell to Gen Z is virginity.
joe rogan
Yeah, you were talking to me about this in the green room, that like this incel problem is unrecognized.
That there's a giant percentage of people that are like voluntarily celibate in this country.
ehsan ahmad
Yes, I think so.
And it's like a lot of it is maybe this sort of new religious, this sort of religious fervor that's sort of developing with them as well because Gen Z is more religious.
joe rogan
Yeah, but aren't they horny?
I don't get it.
ehsan ahmad
They're not me.
They're not, there's something like some crazy amount of women under 25 have never been approached by a guy their age like in public.
unidentified
What?
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, yeah.
The game is DMs, so it's all online.
So it's all feeling that sort of loneliness.
Yeah, they don't go out.
They don't go out like alcohol consumption from Gen Z to millennials is like they drink 800% less, some crazy shit like that.
Third spaces, you know the concept of a third space?
joe rogan
No.
ehsan ahmad
Okay, so you have work at home.
That's space one, space two.
And a third space is like, you know, when I was in college, we go to the bowling alley every day for one summer.
It was stuff like that.
So a place that you can all go.
The library, the mall, places to exist outside of the two spaces.
Those places are completely disappearing.
Whether people are staying inside all the time or they've become too expensive.
Like movies now are like very expensive.
So it's like kind of priced out of being a third space on top of all the things that are going on with movies.
So those are also disappearing.
So places where you can meet someone in person are gone.
So they're not meeting in person.
A lot of it is app-driven and, you know.
joe rogan
And then you got to wonder about like sex drive drop-off.
ehsan ahmad
You can access porn instantly now.
joe rogan
Right.
ehsan ahmad
So you can at least play that part of your brain, give it something.
Right.
Give it a rush of some kind that it would kind of maybe get from like a lesser version of sex, but still fill that void.
joe rogan
Right.
You can, you know, you can't do that.
There's also testosterone levels have dropped.
Like fertility levels amongst women have dropped.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah.
joe rogan
Miscarriages have risen.
ehsan ahmad
The West, the West, the fertility rates in the West are like massively concerning.
Like it's, you know, people like worry about bringing in migrants, but at the same time, they're the only ones having kids at replacement level.
Like the West isn't having that.
I had my 15-year high school reunion recently, and I was in town.
I was like, I'll go to this.
And I was like, damn, I'll probably be the only one who's not married and doesn't have kids.
And most of the people weren't married or didn't have kids.
joe rogan
How old are you now?
ehsan ahmad
33.
unidentified
Wow.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah.
Most of the people there just, I would say, have, yeah, didn't have kids, which is which is wild.
33 at any other generation, this is a late time to not have a kid.
joe rogan
Yeah.
ehsan ahmad
This is pretty, for people who grew up middle-class millennial, I would say this is pretty standard to not have a kid.
And there's certain, I think, driving factors to the fact that a house is unbuyable for a lot of people my age and a younger.
That like, because you're sold to dream on a house and two kids.
Well, if you can't get the house, like it, it sucks to be renting with kids.
unidentified
Right.
ehsan ahmad
You know, the instability.
joe rogan
Average home buyer age is increasing by the median age for all U.S. home buyers reaching 59.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Whoa, that's pretty late.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, record high.
joe rogan
Late 2025, 40.
Median age for first-time buyers hit a record high of 40.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, so it's like, that's how much, that's how long you have to, like, it's hard to raise a kid without a house, you know?
joe rogan
That's crazy.
ehsan ahmad
And the American, I think the American community in that way is dying because like, you know, it takes a village to raise a child.
So you raise a house, you raise a child in a house you bought.
Your neighbors generally say the same.
There's a certain level of comfort and like, you know, oh, my mom couldn't do this thing for me.
I can go to my neighbor's house.
And you know what I mean?
There's safety in that.
But if everyone around you is a renter, then your community kind of disappears.
joe rogan
Yeah.
ehsan ahmad
There's no like set community.
joe rogan
That's a really good point.
ehsan ahmad
And it's like bringing up a kids need consistency.
So bringing up in a world that's constantly shifting, it's probably anxiety-inducing to people who can't afford homes.
joe rogan
For sure.
ehsan ahmad
Definitely on that.
And then childcare is expensive.
joe rogan
Then if also your friends aren't doing it, you know?
And then women are waiting later and later because they want to prolong their careers.
ehsan ahmad
Right.
joe rogan
And then it becomes harder.
And then you get into in vitro fertilization.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, there's definitely some with this wave of feminism and capitalism.
There's definitely some like insidious ties there of just like you can you can oh like work create capital for us and then make it make it so it's impossible or very hard for a one working house spouse to like just if the man is working to raise a kid do you think it's on purpose I think Maybe it didn't start on purpose, but I think it sort of became intertwined.
joe rogan
Well, isn't it just a side effect?
If women want to pursue careers, you're going to have less children.
ehsan ahmad
But that is for sure.
But there's a thing about it, there's this like almost demonization of the women who choose to stay at home.
Like, you know, it's like look down, oh, trad wife, it's looked down on.
joe rogan
Right, but isn't that just because of the women that are pursuing careers that give them that look down on?
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, this is true.
joe rogan
And it's probably because they secretly feel like maybe they're missing out.
ehsan ahmad
Maybe.
To me, it's like it's so funny that both can exist.
It can be the women that go for their careers and the women that want to stay home.
It's just for one group to demonize the other, I think, is just very interesting.
joe rogan
Yeah, it is weird, but it's also like population drop is a real thing.
ehsan ahmad
It does look like the humanity.
Have you ever seen that population curve of the deer?
Yeah, it's like, so I think humanity is kind of at that point where it levels off.
Have you seen?
Yeah, because I remember my bio classes, which that would be the population, like the exponential growth and then the level off.
And we've had the exponential growth, and we're looking like that part of the graph.
joe rogan
Well, the thing is, like, there is still exponential growth.
It's just not in the West.
That's what's kind of weird.
ehsan ahmad
Right.
joe rogan
Right.
Poor people.
Poor people want to have a bunch of kids and they're having them all the time.
ehsan ahmad
Right.
joe rogan
And then they want to come over here.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah.
unidentified
Take over Minnesota.
joe rogan
And then have their kids in daycare.
That doesn't exist.
Right.
ehsan ahmad
But yeah, there is something happening in the West.
Or like the way that South Korea and Japan.
joe rogan
Oh, they're fucked.
ehsan ahmad
They're like fucked.
They're like actually fucked.
They're like a couple generations away from how you're going to support this whole thing unless you let people in.
joe rogan
Well, or you encourage people to have kids if you turn it around with the youngest people and then you have like a blip for a while, but then it gets back to it.
But man, you have to like make a concerted effort.
And how do you encourage people to have children?
Like, because you're going to have to have women that don't pursue careers.
ehsan ahmad
Right.
joe rogan
Right.
If you have five kids, like, what are you going to do?
You're working all day?
Right.
That's kind of crazy.
And when you have kids, you realize how nuts that is.
Because it's like, man, your kids, they want their parents.
And that's good for them to have their parents around, especially in this world of predators and creeps and weirdos and things that can happen at daycare.
unidentified
Right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
ehsan ahmad
No, it's, it's, I don't know how they would incentivize that to happen.
joe rogan
How do you?
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, you can't, you can't really.
joe rogan
Yeah, because people are selfish.
They want what they want in their life.
And, you know, when Elon's like, oh, we're exposing population to collapse.
They're like, so not me.
Bye.
ehsan ahmad
Right.
joe rogan
I'm going to the movies with my friends.
You know what I mean?
Like the idea of changing diapers.
Like, I don't want, I don't like her that much to stick around with her for the next 18 years.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, you also, you also, when you have the ability to choose everyone at your fingertips, it's like Netflix.
When you can watch everything, you watch nothing.
So we can choose everyone.
You don't commit to anything.
joe rogan
Right.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, it's just because everything's these sort of superfluous, like kind of deep relationships.
Smart Prostitution Apps 00:02:24
joe rogan
I know a lot of people that have used the apps and then found someone and got off the apps.
So there are people, but generally they're a little older.
unidentified
Right?
ehsan ahmad
Yes, they're like, at a certain age, you sort of like look for that.
joe rogan
Yeah.
ehsan ahmad
But like in your early 20s, when people were like settling down in their 20s beforehand, it made sense.
They were the only person around, maybe like, but now you're in a city, you can just, it can be like in a big one in New York where there's like an endless stream of people.
There's no reason to make a choice if you don't want to.
joe rogan
I saw a video of a lady who created an app where a man is allowed to pay for her preparation for the date.
So the man sends her money so that she can get her nails done, get clothes for the date, all these different things for the date.
And this lady set up this app.
ehsan ahmad
Damn.
joe rogan
I'm like.
ehsan ahmad
It's smart.
joe rogan
It's kind of prostitution.
ehsan ahmad
I mean, it's sure.
joe rogan
I mean, it's kind of without the guarantee of sex.
ehsan ahmad
I know.
joe rogan
It's weird.
You're not just showing up.
These are my clothes.
I drove here in my car.
I'm meeting a person.
No, it's that person is paying me to prepare for our date.
ehsan ahmad
Right.
And creating me into a person in his head.
joe rogan
It's well, you're going to get a very different kind of person that's going to meet you.
You're going to get a kind of person that's willing to give you money immediately before he has any connection with you at all.
ehsan ahmad
Right.
joe rogan
Like he might meet you and you're fucking super annoying.
He's like, God damn it, I gave that bitch a hundred bucks.
ehsan ahmad
That's so funny.
That's a Richard.
I think it was Richard Feynman.
He was talking about getting girls because he was good at it.
And he was like, yeah, I never paid for the drink on the first date.
Never.
Something like that.
unidentified
That's kind of crazy.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah.
joe rogan
That's not going to get a lot of quality women.
Maybe it was back then.
It was different.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah.
And you're kind of famous in your world.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
He's a famous, brilliant guy.
The scientists back then were all like rock stars.
Isn't that crazy?
unidentified
Yeah, yeah.
ehsan ahmad
They're all like just fucking everyone around them.
joe rogan
They're nuts.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And that was just making the atomic bomb, just fucking losing their minds.
joe rogan
That was the crazy thing about the Oppenheimer thing, right?
Oppenheimer was a freak.
ehsan ahmad
Good for him.
joe rogan
He's just out there getting his fuck on.
Venezuela's Upcoming Strike 00:11:00
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, fucking communist chicks.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
They're probably fun.
unidentified
Oh, yeah.
ehsan ahmad
That's living, especially back then, that's living dangerously.
That's the same level of, that's the same level of calm as the gay Republican senator.
It's like, this is banned.
unidentified
Right.
Right.
How many gay Republican senators do you think there are?
joe rogan
I mean, not zero.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, for sure.
joe rogan
In the closet, not zero.
ehsan ahmad
No, definitely not.
It is usually the ones that are like the most pro.
Like anyone who's still very pro, anti-gay marriage now, like loudly, it's like, what's going on here?
unidentified
Or really into war?
joe rogan
We got to get those Iraqis out of their homes.
ehsan ahmad
Oh, yeah.
The fucking, just so just war hawks with Iran's going through it right now.
joe rogan
What's going on right now?
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, you don't know what's happening in Iran?
joe rogan
I know about the protests and I know about killing the protesters.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, that's what, yeah.
joe rogan
It seems like there's some sort of a strike that might be imminent.
unidentified
Isn't it?
joe rogan
It feels like it.
ehsan ahmad
Like from the United States.
joe rogan
Yeah.
ehsan ahmad
I think the U.S. is kind of going to stay back for a little bit.
joe rogan
You think so?
ehsan ahmad
A week in the ran is that they're weak right now because they're dealing with internal strife.
joe rogan
It's kind of crazy to see how many people are on the streets.
ehsan ahmad
I mean, the Iranian, the average Iranian civilian has gotten a pretty raw deal since the 50s, since we installed the Shah.
joe rogan
Yeah.
ehsan ahmad
We installed the Shah, and then Khomeini comes and is like, hey, remember the democracy they stole from you?
Because we had deposed an elected leader.
Well, we'll bring it back.
And they're like, okay.
And then the clerics just took over and fucked them.
And they've just been a constant stream of like the average Iranian citizen just getting fucked by outside forces for so long.
joe rogan
Well, it's all about the nationalization of their oil.
ehsan ahmad
Yep.
joe rogan
They wanted to nationalize their oil.
And we were like, no.
No, play.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, fuck that.
unidentified
Fuck that.
ehsan ahmad
You think you're going to have control over your own state?
Get out of here.
joe rogan
You heard Metzger's theory about Venezuela last night?
ehsan ahmad
No.
joe rogan
He's like, he goes, I think, I think Maduro is secretly working for the CIA.
He helped them arrest him, and then he is going to testify that the 2020 elections were rigged.
ehsan ahmad
Wow.
If that comes true, what a Babe Ruth call.
What a point to the sky that is.
joe rogan
That's crazy.
If that comes true, I'm buying you a car.
Find a car you're really like.
We're going to get you a car.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, that's crazy.
joe rogan
You need an American muscle guard.
I'll get you a Mustang GT or something.
ehsan ahmad
But it wasn't this.
When the Iranians protest, it's like admirable because you know they're going to die.
joe rogan
A lot of them have already died.
A lot of them.
Thousands of them.
ehsan ahmad
A lot of them died.
And the same with the hijab protests where just women were disappearing for not wearing a hijab.
It's like, damn, bro.
joe rogan
That's a bad guy.
ehsan ahmad
They really like it.
They've gotten a raw deal historically for the last half a century and they're still fighting.
joe rogan
Yeah, crazy.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, I read when I was a kid, I read this book called Persepolis.
It's in my greatest books of all time.
But it's I read Persepolis and I was like maybe in high school, early late middle school, and I just realized, like, oh, man.
Because you get bombarded, especially at that time, where in fighting in the Middle East, you get bombarded with propaganda of like what these people are like over there.
And I'm reading Persepolis.
I'm like, oh, right, they're just people.
Like, she has a scene where she's just wanting to listen to music with her friends, but the Islamic police is like, will fucking fuck them up if they get caught.
And they just have these secret parties with just listening to music.
joe rogan
Secret listening to music parties.
ehsan ahmad
Just listening to music.
joe rogan
They're open jail.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah.
Just regular things.
joe rogan
What is this?
Venezuelan opposition leader Maria Corina Machado insists that Maduro rigged the 2020 U.S. elections against Donald Trump and many other elections in the region.
What?
jamie vernon
Tweets now.
I saw that going around too, so I don't know that Kurt's too crazy on that one.
unidentified
What?
jamie vernon
Yeah, this isn't even the first one.
This was just I was showing you the data.
joe rogan
How could Maduro rig United States elections?
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, where is that power coming from?
All of a sudden?
Because if the power to rig election, do you think he would be able to stop himself from getting arrested?
joe rogan
This is from the gray zone.
It says Hugo El Polo Carvajal is likely to serve as the star witness for the U.S. against Maduro.
Max Blumenthal reveals Carvajal is a coerced witness who cut a secret plea deal to save himself.
He's even indulging Trump's conspiracy theory that Venezuela rigged the 2020 U.S. election.
ehsan ahmad
Hmm.
What's the gray zone?
joe rogan
Is that I think that's Max Blumenthal's show?
ehsan ahmad
Okay, so that's like a source?
joe rogan
Yeah.
ehsan ahmad
Okay, okay, okay.
joe rogan
He's legit.
ehsan ahmad
Okay.
Yeah.
joe rogan
Anti-war.
So if he's saying that, maybe there's something to it.
ehsan ahmad
Damn.
How would he, and what mechanism would Maduro be able to do an election?
joe rogan
Like, what are, okay, let's find that out.
How do they think Maduro had a hand in rigging the 2020 election?
What's the conspiracy?
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, was it like he did all the, like he helped with the mail-in votes?
unidentified
Right.
ehsan ahmad
Because that's the only way you could steal that election, right?
joe rogan
Like, Venezuela is pretty far away.
jamie vernon
Here's a tweet from before the election even happened.
joe rogan
Nicholas Maduro's campaign manager, this is from 2024, just went on national TV to declare victory despite exit polls showing a historic loss for their socialist regime.
They're setting up to commit a bigger election theft than the 2020 election in the United States.
jamie vernon
That doesn't add up.
joe rogan
No, that's not.
That's just someone's opinion.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, how does that add up?
joe rogan
That they're stealing the election?
But they did steal it in Venezuela.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, that's for sure.
jamie vernon
What does it say?
joe rogan
It says he did clearly stole Venezuela's election, threatened bloodshed if he lost, restricted, what is that, Intel?
What is it?
jamie vernon
International Observers.
joe rogan
International Observers.
Block transmission of results.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, that definitely happened.
I mean, it was very telling how happy the Venezuelans in America were when he was gone.
Yeah.
That was a genuine thing.
They were very, very pleased about that.
Yeah.
And then you had people, you had like white leftists be like, this is bad.
joe rogan
Yeah, you're supporting a dictator.
It's like, and the way they did it was so unprecedented.
Going and storm the fucking castle and steal the guy.
What?
ehsan ahmad
Kind of shows the power.
Like, it kind of tells also the other countries, like, hey, back off.
joe rogan
Well, it's pretty crazy what they did, if it's true, with that whole sonar weapon or sound weapon, whatever it did that, like, literally, like, makes your organs bubble.
And everybody, like, falls to the ground.
They're in writhing in pain and agony.
And then they just stormed in and everybody was incapacitated.
unidentified
Damn.
joe rogan
Stormed in, fucked everybody up.
And that was a wrap.
ehsan ahmad
Well, if that's what war is becoming, that's kind of better.
joe rogan
It's kind of crazy.
ehsan ahmad
That's kind of better than like ground troops and nonstop fighting and 20 years in Afghanistan.
joe rogan
Okay, here's lawyer Sidney Powell in 2020 talking about Maduro having access to voting fraud technology.
Maduro is going to sing like a canary and the Democrats are screwed.
No wonder what.
Okay.
ehsan ahmad
Is that lady even real?
Who?
That looks like a person, the person tweeting this.
See, this reeks of botany.
joe rogan
Yeah, yeah.
Follow me for breaking news.
Yeah.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Why do you know?
Or just guy account clearly just making stuff up.
joe rogan
See if you can find an account of how they did it because there's an account by someone who is a witness that was there at the scene that said how fucking crazy it was that these guys came out of nowhere.
The helicopters came out of nowhere.
The drones, they shut down all the radar.
Everything got shut down.
And then all of a sudden there's drones flying everywhere and helicopters.
And these dudes, 20 guys, killed, you know, who knows how many fucking humans.
Right.
No one got killed on the American side.
They captured him and his wife, stuffed him back in the helicopter, and they were in and out in 10 minutes.
ehsan ahmad
In 10 minutes, yeah.
There's a very famous video of a Twitch streamer in Venezuela just out in the streets, and then everything just really?
Yeah.
joe rogan
Whoa.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, it just goes dark.
unidentified
That's crazy.
ehsan ahmad
Damn.
joe rogan
That's crazy.
ehsan ahmad
And yeah, and you're a human.
You can tell, like, oh, something's up.
This is not a normal everything, like all the streetlights.
It went just dark.
joe rogan
What's crazy because we knew they had some really wild technology, but they didn't know.
We didn't know what they were capable of until we've seen this.
And we're like, oh.
What's really interesting is my friend Evan Hafer was talking about that like a year ago on the podcast.
He was talking about it maybe less than a year.
He was like, if we go to war with the cartels, like they have no idea what kind of ultraviolence they're in for.
He's like, the shit that these guys are going to do when they're going to plan this out, they built a replica of his house and they went through it blindfolded.
Yeah.
So they know exactly where every turn is, where to go.
They war planned this for a long time.
jamie vernon
The camera thing was false.
joe rogan
Oh, it was false?
Which one?
Over the live stream going out.
Right, but find the account of the witness.
jamie vernon
I stumbled across that on the way to it.
joe rogan
Okay.
The account of the guy who said he was there, if it's accurate, is crazy.
Because he basically said they just incapacitated everyone and then just went in and murdered everybody and pulled out Maduro.
Like no one could move.
You can't do anything.
And then these guys land in helicopters and everyone's writhing in agony.
Like, just running through.
ehsan ahmad
Damn.
joe rogan
Whacked everybody.
No one got shot back at.
Crazy.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, but I think, yeah, I think that's what warfare, outside of what's happening in Russia, Ukraine, that's kind of what warfare is now, right?
Like, oh, is Iran going to Israel going to go to war with Iran?
We'll just quickly just take out all their generals real quick.
Well, that's the threat of war is done.
joe rogan
You know, you're dealing with Venezuela versus the United States of America.
Right.
unidentified
But if it was the United States of America versus Russia or China, it'd be a lot different.
joe rogan
It's a lot more fucked up.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah.
joe rogan
You know, Venezuela doesn't have nuclear bombs.
That's why we get away with shit like this.
ehsan ahmad
Right, right.
unidentified
Right.
Yeah, that's a fair point.
joe rogan
That is part of the thing, you know?
And then it's like, the whole thing's so transparent.
Trump's like, immediately, we're going to take the oil.
There's plenty of oil.
ehsan ahmad
Oh, yeah.
joe rogan
Working on a deal.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, I don't think it was a coincidence that all of a sudden I had gas under $2 last week in the gas station across the street.
I was like, huh, I wonder if that's Venezuela related.
joe rogan
Not in California.
California gas companies are pulling out.
Valero pulled out of California.
It's going to cost them $1 billion.
And they're like, yeah.
ehsan ahmad
It's not worth it.
joe rogan
I'd rather leave.
Balancing Life in San Diego 00:02:59
ehsan ahmad
Yeah.
Damn.
joe rogan
Fuck you.
ehsan ahmad
Well, yeah, the cost of living there is so high, too.
It's like, like when we talk about like young comics, it's like it's what you have in Austin is like at least a way, a much cheaper quality of life.
joe rogan
And better.
ehsan ahmad
And better, yeah, where you have space and like, you know, things are more expensive than anywhere else in Texas, probably for sure.
But like, it's still like gas was under $2.
You can get, you can, like, rent is stabilizing.
It's going down.
It's going to go down.
I think a lot of like California and New York developers came in here and they were like, Austin's where people are, so we can just build a lot.
But in New York and California, you have a finite amount of space.
In Austin, you can just build out.
And once you build out, like, the rent at my place went down because people were like, oh, I'll just buy a house out there.
unidentified
Right.
ehsan ahmad
And no one's living in the apartment complex.
And it drops, like, you know, like.
joe rogan
If you live in Dripping Springs, it's way cheaper and it's only 30 minutes away.
Everywhere in the country, 30-minute commute is normal.
ehsan ahmad
Right.
Right.
Yeah.
It's normal.
Here, here, what's nice about here is you'll see something that's 15 minutes.
It'll be 15 miles.
You'd be like, oh, that's normal.
That's normal.
joe rogan
LAST.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, it was an hour and a half.
No, it was almost two hours.
I went from Redondo Beach to fucking Burbank after a podcast at five.
And I was like, oh, I should have just killed myself.
That would have been a more effective use of my time.
joe rogan
Locked up.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, yeah.
joe rogan
When the 405 or the 5 gets locked up, it's depressing.
ehsan ahmad
Oh, it's hell.
joe rogan
That trip down to San Diego, if you want to do the La Jolla store.
ehsan ahmad
You got to leave early.
joe rogan
You got to leave at noon.
Leave at noon.
Because that means you'll be down in San Diego right around the time rush hour starts.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah.
Yeah.
joe rogan
Crazy.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah.
It's, it's, but, yeah, it's just a cheaper place to, like, for a young comic who, like, if it's time to move to a place, it's like Austin does offer a cheaper quality for quality stage time as well.
joe rogan
It's also just a better vibe.
There's less tension.
There's less people.
ehsan ahmad
Yes.
Yes.
I feel like there are times where I would take a day off in LA and I feel like I'm falling behind because everyone around you is so frantic.
And here it's like, oh, I can breathe.
I can actually just enjoy this day off.
joe rogan
Which is important.
You got to have some kind of balance.
ehsan ahmad
Yes.
joe rogan
You want to be a little bit frantic, but then you got to achieve some balance and let your brain sort of recalibrate, come back on.
Just get a new perspective.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, rest is so this grind culture.
jamie vernon
For a period of same kind of thing.
I'll check the account.
joe rogan
Fucked up account.
Main proponent for the drive to recall Gavin Newsome.
California needs rebuild a better.
So it might be a fake person.
jamie vernon
And then there's no evidence to like a link or where they got the information from.
Which is why I just checked first, but they just have a long story here.
joe rogan
It just says interview security guards.
Caroline Levitt's Tweets 00:07:02
joe rogan
So it could be total propaganda, right?
Yeah.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah.
jamie vernon
Maybe, you know, you could ask AI to make up a story.
What it would be a good story to put on Twitter.
unidentified
Right.
joe rogan
And then, yeah, just tried to find it anywhere else.
Is it only from this one guy?
jamie vernon
Yeah, this I was finding.
It was Caroline Levitt shared it.
joe rogan
This is the main account where she shared it from.
jamie vernon
What you're doing and read this.
I googled that and she said that a ton of times.
ehsan ahmad
How long has Carolyn Levitt been the press secretary this whole time?
Aren't they how quickly do they move past those?
joe rogan
They usually last about two years except for that last one.
ehsan ahmad
Except for the last one, yeah.
I wonder if that's set a precedent.
joe rogan
She decided to hang in there to the bitter end.
They were trying to get rid of her.
She sucked.
ehsan ahmad
St. Pierre, right?
joe rogan
Yeah, whatever her name was.
It wasn't St. Pierre.
ehsan ahmad
It wasn't St. Pierre.
I thought it was something like that.
joe rogan
Karine Jean-Pierre.
ehsan ahmad
Okay.
It was something Pierre.
It was something Pierre, yeah, yeah.
joe rogan
Bro, she was terrible.
ehsan ahmad
She did it forever.
joe rogan
And again, the president is committed.
The president is like, she would do like the Obama thing with her fingers.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
joe rogan
Get the fuck out of here.
They just try.
She had a lie all the time.
That's her job.
ehsan ahmad
Dead person.
joe rogan
Yeah.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, that's hard to do.
That's pretty like, you know, you have to keep juggling a lot to be like, oh, this dead person's still alive.
joe rogan
I thought he was going to die immediately after he left office.
I'm like, he's going to die soon.
Like real soon.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, it's kind of wild he's kept going.
joe rogan
But every now and then they'll trot him out and he'll start talking.
ehsan ahmad
He'll be at an Eagles game.
He's like, yeah, you know what's going on.
joe rogan
And every now and then he'll talk.
They still let him talk.
Like, and there's been a few of those where he'll talk like, thank God you didn't win.
If you came back, you know, if they never replaced Kamala with you and you won or you and Kamala and you won and you're this guy now?
Well, yeah.
ehsan ahmad
Well, he fucked them by not bowing out.
joe rogan
Yeah.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah.
It's like, at least let him have a primary.
Because then it just became Kamala versus Trump and the whole like, oh, vote for me to fight fascism.
But no one voted for you in the first place.
joe rogan
The thing is, if they had a primary, who do you think would have been it?
They probably would have made her the Democrats would have decided on her anyway, I think.
ehsan ahmad
Because it would have been too soon for Newsom to run.
He still has that stink of COVID on him.
So that's why he waited for this to go around.
Yeah, it's been enough.
People have forgotten COVID enough.
It's been more than half.
It's been half a decade since.
People's minds, like people's political memories are so short that, yeah, 2028, that's so far away from COVID that he can just be like, ah, I did fine or whatever the fuck.
joe rogan
Do you think so?
ehsan ahmad
I think so.
Enough to run, enough to probably get the nomination.
joe rogan
Do you think he's going to get the nomination?
ehsan ahmad
Who else?
joe rogan
Who else?
Someone else can rise over the next three years.
ehsan ahmad
Someone else would have to.
If it had been an Obama thing, it would be like someone who would be rising in this upcoming midterm.
So if there's someone like that, maybe.
joe rogan
All it takes is someone who's a compelling speaker, who's not demonstrably full of shit.
Because the thing about him is he's so vulnerable to any kind of a debate.
When someone starts talking about the fraud and waste in California, how about the high-speed rail?
They spent billions of dollars.
It's fucking nothing.
ehsan ahmad
Nothing.
unidentified
Soon.
joe rogan
We're going to get it done soon.
Just so much fraud.
So much waste.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, but I don't think they have anything.
Because you can, right now, all you can run, you can just run on like, I'm not Trump.
And that'll be enough to get people being like, yeah, he's not Trump.
joe rogan
What about that Josh Shapiro guy?
The guy who's governor of Pennsylvania.
ehsan ahmad
Maybe.
I don't know.
To me, it's just like a popularity contest, and he's making a lot of noise.
joe rogan
A lot of people upset at the Jews right now.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, that's a fair point.
unidentified
Yeah.
ehsan ahmad
That's a fair point.
joe rogan
Shapiro?
ehsan ahmad
hmm, it just seems like, hmm.
unidentified
Yeah.
ehsan ahmad
That's a good point.
It just seems like he's the one making the most noise.
And we're getting towards crunch time.
Not really, but like it's the closer we get to the midterms and there's no other big voice.
It makes me feel like it's going to be him.
joe rogan
Well, clearly he wants to do it.
ehsan ahmad
He definitely wants to do it.
And he might just be powerful politically enough to win that nomination.
joe rogan
That guy fucks up San Francisco, fucks up California, and then goes on to fuck up the whole country.
ehsan ahmad
Oh, it's very possible.
Maybe not very possible, but I think it's an outcome.
It's an outcome.
definitely running it's gonna be it's i don't know what that ticket's gonna be but They're going to make us all trans.
Yeah, it's going to be like a Newsome Crockett.
That's my early call of what they're going to try to do.
unidentified
Shut the fuck up.
joe rogan
Are you kidding?
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, I think so.
unidentified
Yeah.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah.
I think that's who they are.
She's very reasonable.
joe rogan
AOC.
ehsan ahmad
Maybe AOC.
joe rogan
I think AOC is more reasonable.
ehsan ahmad
AOC is much more reasonable for sure.
joe rogan
You ever see when Crockett and Marjorie Taylor Greene start going back and forth with each other, insulting each other and yelling at each other?
ehsan ahmad
No, that's.
unidentified
Oh, yeah, I did.
ehsan ahmad
I didn't see that.
That's a very fun moment.
joe rogan
Nobody wants to be a representative.
That's the thing.
It's like all these successful people and academics.
They don't want to do that.
ehsan ahmad
No, it's all like lawyers and like creeps.
Yeah, that's the only.
Well, it's like, it's one of those things where you're right.
The person who wants to do it probably isn't, or person who should do it probably isn't going to want to do it.
joe rogan
100%.
ehsan ahmad
Because you do have to make decisions that negatively affect millions of people's lives sometimes.
joe rogan
And you got to grease the pockets of your donors.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah.
And to be like a regular guy and want to do that was probably would tear you apart to be like, ah, here's a decision that'll kill people.
You got to be kind of a sociopath.
joe rogan
What's really fucked is how much of an impact people like us have on elections now.
That's what's nuts.
Like podcasters have a big impact on elections now.
That's how it's really weird.
ehsan ahmad
That's how much the mainstream media has kind of lost its lead.
joe rogan
Drop the ball.
ehsan ahmad
Dropped the ball hardcore.
joe rogan
Well, it's just by being unreliable, like being people that you can't trust.
ehsan ahmad
And uncensored conversation is like people are going to trust them more because this is how people talk to their friends more often than not.
Than like, oh, I can't say this because this sponsor is going to be mad at me.
joe rogan
Right.
ehsan ahmad
You know?
Like, this is just a much more accessible way of finding out people's real thoughts.
joe rogan
And a lot of it is just how we talk.
I mean, there's been so many times we've been in the green room that totally could have been a podcast.
unidentified
Right.
joe rogan
Just put a camera on it, live in the green room.
It would fuck up the vibe.
But it'll be a great podcast.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, it would.
joe rogan
It would fuck up the vibe.
ehsan ahmad
Yeah, it would lose that quality that would make it a good podcast if we were trying to actually podcast.
unidentified
Yeah, definitely.
joe rogan
Definitely.
All right, brother.
Well, I'll see you tonight.
ehsan ahmad
I'll see you tonight.
joe rogan
And tell everybody your special.
It's out.
It's on YouTube.
ehsan ahmad
It's on YouTube.
It's called Too Soon.
Check it out.
I'm very proud of this material.
joe rogan
It's great material, man.
And you've been killing it.
You've been killing it at the club.
And the new stuff's fantastic, too.
ehsan ahmad
Thank you.
And yeah, go to a song.
unidentified
Look at that hair.
ehsan ahmad
Look at that hair.
Every time I've been on here, I've had different hair.
Today I went cornrows.
joe rogan
Yeah.
You've had the cornrows for a while now, right?
ehsan ahmad
Just a week or so.
I did it for a sketch, and then I was like, I kind of like this.
Yeah, it's crazy for this guy, this hairline to have cornrows.
joe rogan
All right, my brother.
Appreciate you.
See you tonight.
unidentified
See you tonight.
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