Oct. 7, 2025 - The Joe Rogan Experience
02:45:06
| 
| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
|
unidentified
|
Joe Rogan podcast, check it out. | |
| The Joe. | ||
| Logan experience. | ||
| Train by day, Joe Relogan podcast by night. | ||
| All day. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| What's up? | ||
| What was the last time I saw you? | ||
| It was I was here promoting my special uh man, it was uh June of last year. | ||
| Damn, time flies. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| A fucking whole year. | ||
| Oh my goodness. | ||
| Congratulations. | ||
| Thank you, dude. | ||
| Look at you out there breeding. | ||
| Right. | ||
| A tribute to the population. | ||
| How old are you? | ||
| Um 40. | ||
| I'll be 49 in November. | ||
| So did you do the math like when your kids are 20? | ||
| Bro, I I've done every math. | ||
| Every piece of math you could do. | ||
| It's pretty healthy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| No, I am. | ||
| That's exactly what happened. | ||
| I started with a trainer four weeks ago. | ||
| And uh and and just did all this blood work and taking all these scans and tests and stuff now just because I'm like, I have to I have to be here as long as possible. | ||
| It changes the game when you have children. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You can fuck off and do coke and heroin and fucking sleep. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Luckily I wasn't doing that. | ||
| No, but you as soon as you have a kid, you're like, oh my God, I want to leave my kid. | ||
| I was eating because of whatever cereal. | ||
| I was like backing out of the driver without looking, but like now. | ||
| Most of my Instagram algorithm is things that I shouldn't eat. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's like sandwiches, sandwiches and pizza. | ||
| You have trouble with that stuff? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| No, not at all. | ||
| No, I don't have trouble. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I just know it's not good for you. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Most mostly I eat good stuff. | ||
| What's what what's what's like a you yeah, you're like an like a like an egg white. | ||
| No, I eat yolks. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Yolks are the healthy part. | ||
| Yolks. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, I eat the whole egg. | ||
| But I have chickens. | ||
| So what you're fresh eggs. | ||
| Are you like a like do you have like a diet like an Olympic? | ||
| Like are you like an Olympian? | ||
| No. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Are you like weighing your food and like no no no no no no no? | |
| I eat way too much. | ||
| If I weighed my food, I'd be like, I eat for a 300-pound man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| But is that because that's because of how much you exercise and stuff? | ||
| It's a that, but it's also I'm a glutton. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'm a glutton. | ||
| But you could do it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I can get away with it. | ||
| But I do eat a lot. | ||
| Like if I go out to dinner, I will eat a st a large steak. | ||
| I will have multiple sides of multiple appetizers, and then I look like I'm pregnant when I leave. | ||
| That's how you eat, yeah. | ||
| You just I fucking eat I eat a lot of food, man. | ||
| It's not it's not smart. | ||
| How do you burn all your calories? | ||
| Is it all trying like you have like is it all like jujitsu stuff or whatever? | ||
| I do a lot of working out, but I also do intermittent fasting. | ||
| I'm just smart about when to be a glutton and then when to back off. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, I just don't keep my foot on the gas, that's all. | ||
| But like when I go to New York, it's all Italian food. | ||
| It's Italian food for like three days. | ||
| You gotta I can eat it every day. | ||
| I could too. | ||
| It's a problem. | ||
| It's a problem. | ||
| It's all Italian subs and pasta and favorite spots in New York. | ||
| Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| I got a bunch of spots. | ||
| I got a bunch of spots. | ||
| I got a spot in Vegas too. | ||
| We're just at this uh place, Gaetano's. | ||
| It's all handmade pasta with imported flour from Italy. | ||
| We ate there after the fights. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I love it. | |
| I have to go there. | ||
| I'm gonna I'm gonna I'm going through Vegas on. | ||
| I'm still doing touring the tour that I was here with last that started in 24. | ||
| I'm going through till all the way through 26. | ||
| Oh nice. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Damn. | ||
| Yeah, I took like a three-month well. | ||
| I took a break when I had my my baby my new baby, and then I took like a little bit of a like a six-month, but now I'm like back at it full. | ||
| I got a bunch of big shows coming up, so it's like let me get out there and like tell people I'm still alive. | ||
| Yeah, you got you gotta get out there if you want to do something, because it's like the you know, if you just work in the city, yeah, you can't really put together an hour. | ||
| No, I mean I pieced it together. | ||
| I mean, I'm uh I'm constantly on the road. | ||
| I just I just went down just to have a little bit of a breather because we just finished uh uh rapping season 12 of the show. | ||
| And so I was touring and doing the show, and I had and I had a kid. | ||
| So it's like I just couldn't even and then we produced another show and all that shit in between. | ||
| So it's like I just haven't been I went on hiatus on my podcast and stuff because I had to something had to give. | ||
| So now it's like let me let me just get back out there and just now I'm not filming, I'm just really focusing on the tour and like a new pod I got coming out. | ||
| When you do stand up, do you take guys with you that are your friends on the road? | ||
| Yeah, that's the move. | ||
| Yeah, all the time. | ||
| That's the only way to go. | ||
| It's it makes it it makes it fun. | ||
| Yeah, fun. | ||
| Yeah, you're with buddies. | ||
| It's like a vacation that you get to work at. | ||
| Yeah, if if I if I didn't, it's it can get it can get depressing fast. | ||
| Real fast. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| If you're solo, super fast. | ||
| If you're solo and you're working with local openers, especially if they they they're boring. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And they're they're not fun to hang out with. | ||
| Oh yeah, that's in the club in the groom. | ||
| I'm even talking about in like the hotel and stuff. | ||
| Oh, that's bad too. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You just gotta find things to do. | ||
| For me, it's always I've I work out and I play pool. | ||
| So those are two things that occupy a lot of my time. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| So that's good. | ||
| I didn't work out and I didn't play pool. | ||
| So I'm I'm like, I got I got this guy, right? | ||
| And I'm like, um, I'm weak. | ||
| I have no stamina. | ||
| I'm old. | ||
| And like I need to reverse all this, you know, like so like you're gonna start with me now and I'm I'm really gonna show you nothing. | ||
| Like I I Well that's good. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That means you're gonna be able to see progress where I am. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| But that's good. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You'll be able to see progress. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's all no matter where you're at, if you're thinking about working out, do it. | ||
| Because it's a good place to start, no matter where you're at. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| If you're really fit, great. | ||
| Good place to start. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Get even more fit. | ||
| If you're out of shape, great. | ||
| Good place to start. | ||
| Good place to start. | ||
| Baby steps, don't go too hard, don't get hurt, build up slow. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I got some blood work back, and I was like, I need to change somebody's numbers. | ||
| And like also I got like a second in-depth blood work, and like they like they told me all this extra stuff that I couldn't have known. | ||
| And one of us I'm very susceptible to soft tissue injury. | ||
| Oh, you're a bitch. | ||
| Yeah, I'm a bitch. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's what I think. | |
| It said bitch. | ||
| I was translating it. | ||
| It said bitch on the paper, and then this is how I make myself feel better about it. | ||
| How do they determine whether you're soft tissue? | ||
| That doesn't even make any sense. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It just said I'm very susceptible to like like I guess whatever it is, ligament bruising, ligament like that kind of stuff. | ||
| Well, that's just from years of not lifting weights. | ||
| That's all that is. | ||
| You think that's just changed my blood so that that's Yeah? | ||
| A hundred percent. | ||
| Well, I told the guy, and he's like, all right, that's good to know. | ||
| And then like my sixth session, I like like we were doing that thing where like I throw a medicine bowl down really hard and then like catch it and then swing it to him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And like on the swing to him, I was like, ah Yeah, you gotta I would never have you do stuff like that to start out with. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| To start out, you should do body weight stuff and you should do it like moderately. | ||
| Like when I had a bunch of guys in here, we were doing comedians workouts on on Tuesdays, and one of the things that we always did was you do sometimes do it Tuesdays and Thursdays, but one of the things we always did in if if anybody's just starting out, and I'm like, do not go to failure, do not push yourself. | ||
| I don't I want you to get out of here and feel fine. | ||
| Yeah, he did say that for to be fair. | ||
| He's not like killing me or anything. | ||
| But we worked up to that, but that that one, and then we just backed off of it. | ||
| But it's rotational stuff is difficult because you know you're putting all especially if you're not particularly coordinated and you're throwing a lot of torque, you know, one way or the other way when you're throwing a medicine ball, especially. | ||
| I got tons of torque here. | ||
| Torque. | ||
| A lot of I got so much torque, right? | ||
| Like what I don't understand, like what what would determine whether or not you're more susceptible to soft tissue injury. | ||
| The only thing that makes sense is that you haven't been working out. | ||
| Like, unless there's a biomarker. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Is there? | ||
| I think so, yeah. | ||
| Put let's put let's try perplexity out. | ||
| What is uh a biomarker that would indicate you're more susceptible to soft tissue injury? | ||
| I have my results in a PDF somewhere. | ||
| I could go or I can call my doctor. | ||
| Well, we will find out. | ||
| We'll find out quick. | ||
| But it just to me it'll the only thing that would make sense is that you haven't been using that tissue. | ||
| That's the only thing that would make sense. | ||
| And there's probably things that they could show in terms of levels of like uh creatinine, I think that's how you say it, and maybe some other stuff that would indicate. | ||
| Here it goes. | ||
| What biomark would indicate one's susceptible to soft tissue injuries? | ||
| Um well supported biomarket that indicates susceptibility to soft tissue injuries, genetic variant. | ||
| Oh, and the elastin, ELN gene. | ||
| Interesting. | ||
| Which has been identified as a marker of ligament weakness and may signal increased risk of injury. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| Yeah, there you go. | ||
| So that's what you have. | ||
| I'm a variant. | ||
| I'm a I'm a uh what do you call this X-Men? | ||
| I'm a mutant. | ||
| So this is the word I was looking for. | ||
| Classic serum protein markers like creatine kinase, uh lactate what's that word? | ||
| Diodragenase and myoglobin reflect muscle tissue breakdown and can indicate tissue vulnerability or prior damage, but they're used in predicting susceptibility as opposed to reaching in as opposed to recent injury is less robust. | ||
| Recent research has also shown that profiling early healing stages through mass spectrometically spectr Jesus Christ. | ||
| Spectrometry can in identify multiple proteins whose baseline alterations may point to greater risk for delayed or poor recovery. | ||
| Hmm. | ||
| So what is this guy got you doing? | ||
| Like what is like a typical workout for you? | ||
| He switches it up every single every single time. | ||
| I mean I've been doing I've been seeing him about four weeks, three times a week. | ||
| How'd you find him? | ||
| He actually lived in the building next to me. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| And I ran into him. | ||
| This is weird stuff has been happening like this lately. | ||
| Like I'm like, I really gotta get a trainer. | ||
| And I was like walking in between the we had a little thing, like thing in the between the buildings, and he w like he just was there talking to someone and I he mentioned because I'm a physical trainer, I'm like, I need someone. | ||
| He's like I'll walk over, we'll do it. | ||
| So I do it like six thirty in the morning. | ||
| That's the thing that's a little harder too. | ||
| It's like I the only time I could do it is six thirty in the morning because I have like a you know, that's good though. | ||
| No, I know I started the right way. | ||
| No, you gotta win. | ||
| It is good, and I it's been crazy like how much I feel like I've done now by like two two o'clock in the afternoon. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| But when that alarm goes off at like six, and I know he's waiting downstairs, and you know, but I'm just like now it's cause now it's winter, like back home. | ||
| I don't know about here, but like it's still completely pitch black outside, you know. | ||
| Like so just getting up in that darkness and being like my my wife's sleep and I'm putting on a fucking headband. | ||
| I sweat. | ||
| Like a tennis. | ||
| I wore a hat at first, but I was like, I need to get no, I bought like I got like fancy with I bought like a Lululemon headband. | ||
| Oh nice. | ||
| It's not it's like it I don't know. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I I look I look the part. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| I look stretched down out. | ||
| Listen, that's it's all the th looking the parts fun. | ||
| No, no. | ||
| It's all part of just fucking doing it. | ||
| It's been good. | ||
| It's I felt immediate it's immediately it changes my there's just that release. | ||
| It just feels great. | ||
| The first workout I felt like right afterwards. | ||
| I was like, this is amazing. | ||
| That's great. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| As long as you don't go too hard. | ||
| That's what I always tell everybody. | ||
| You can't you're not gonna be able to keep up. | ||
| If you you try a crazy pace right off the bat, you're not gonna be able to keep up with it, and you're gonna you're not gonna be able to recover, you're gonna get broken down, you gotta build it slow. | ||
| I it used to take care of itself with like just sports and stuff. | ||
| Like, but I don't I don't do that anymore, you know. | ||
| Like I haven't done that in forever. | ||
| Are you a good athlete outside of like whatever training you do? | ||
| Like are you a s at sports? | ||
| Like, do you play any sports? | ||
| I own the only sport I played, I played baseball when I was a kid, and then once I started doing martial arts when I was in my early teens, I quit everything. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And just focused on that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh shit. | ||
| Well, you for me, it's like I hated team sports because I'm kind of, you know, stubborn. | ||
| And like I either struck out or hit a home run, no matter what happened. | ||
| They're always like, they were always like, get on base, I'd be like, right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like fucking, I'm going for the bleach, bitch. | |
| And either I was a hero or everybody was mad at me. | ||
| And that's how I always played. | ||
| I didn't care. | ||
| Like I've I'm not gonna be a loser because Billy drops the ball in the in fucking left field. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I don't care. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, and so then when I found wrestling, I was like, okay, this is better. | ||
| This is just me. | ||
| And then I got into martial arts and I was like, okay, this I like. | ||
| This is just like I can I either put in the work and get better, or I don't. | ||
| I either win or I lose. | ||
| There's no weird gray area. | ||
| The only gray area is decisions. | ||
| Decisions sucked. | ||
| Because there's a lot of bias judges, and you know, if you're in like someone's hometown and you've got to their ass. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Terrible. | ||
| That blatant? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Don't you remember Roy Jones Jr. in the Olympics? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Roy Jones Jr. in the it was actually a beautiful moment that because Roy Jones Jr. in the Olympics, he boxed beautifully. | ||
| It was a perfect performance in the finals, and he lost. | ||
| There's no way he lost. | ||
| But it was in Korea and it was against the Korean national champion. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| And so the Korean national champion, he won the gold medal, and then came to visit Roy Jones recently and gave him the gold medal and said, You should have won that fight. | ||
| Like recently recently? | ||
| Yeah, recently recently. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| But never? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| But when I was a kid and I watched that, I was so disheartened. | ||
| Because I'd seen that in Taekwondo a lot. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I I'd seen that in kickboxing a lot. | ||
| And it's just it's embarrassing. | ||
| It's just when you see like blatant, obvious corruption, and that to me that decision is one of the worst examples of blatant corruption because Roy Jones just ran away with that fight. | ||
| The only thing you didn't do is knock that guy out, but he beat his ass. | ||
| They don't feel repercussions when it's that obvious. | ||
| It happens in the UFC. | ||
| Yes, it happens in the UFC all the time. | ||
| There's bad decisions, and and you know, and it's it's infuriating. | ||
| It's infuriating to the athlete too, because particularly in the UFC, there's a win bonus. | ||
| So imagine if you beat a guy, like you really hit the gas in the second and third round, you fucking burn yourself out, you get the decision, you're like, I fucking did it, I did it. | ||
| You're your corner celebrating, we got it. | ||
| We got the last two rounds, all you, all you and then you hear the judges, and you're like, no fucking way. | ||
| They robbed me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| And it happens, it happens all the time. | ||
| So say if you're a young guy and you're starting out in the UFC and you have a contract, maybe it's like 15 and 15. | ||
| What that means is you get 15,000 to show and then 15,000 to win. | ||
| So if you lose, you only get that 15,000. | ||
| So those judges just stole $15,000 from you when you're struggling just to feed yourself, right? | ||
| And if you're getting $15,000 to fight, you have to pay for managers, you have to pay for your gym fees, you have to pay for nutrition, you have to pay for supplements, you know. | ||
| You have to maybe you're getting a massage once a week, you gotta pay for that. | ||
| It's like you don't have any money. | ||
| Zero money. | ||
| Yeah, you have to work a job. | ||
| There's no way you're doing that without a job. | ||
| Right. | ||
| If you're lucky, you could teach. | ||
| You know, if you're lucky, you can maybe teach private like if you're jujitsu guy or a kickboxer, you could teach people during the day. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But other than that, man, you fucking you're barely getting by, and they just stole 15 grand from you. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| And happens all the time. | ||
| And nothing comes with it, right? | ||
| There's appeals, appeals of bullshit. | ||
| We we get mad, you know, we talk about it in the commentary, and we you know, Daniel particularly gets upset because he was a professional fighter and he's seen it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, but it's like they always say don't leave it in the judge's hands. | ||
| But that's nonsense because you these guys, you're not good enough to knock them out. | ||
| And if you try to knock them out, you're gonna get knocked out. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| It's like you have to fight smart. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So like you always should fight the the best you can, but smart. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And if you don't do that, you you're not you shouldn't be a professional fighter. | ||
| It's because you're gonna get beat up when you shouldn't get beat up. | ||
| You're gonna get hurt when you shouldn't get hurt, you know. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I didn't I never did anything. | ||
| I took karate for like six months. | ||
| I never did. | ||
| It was team sports for me, but it was um I wasn't particularly at the I I actually when uh the first year our uh grammar school got a basketball team. | ||
| I was in uh seventh grade, and so uh if you were in eighth grade, you automatically made varsity, and then whatever remaining spots you have to try out. | ||
| I wasn't really good, right? | ||
| But I tried out and I was the last one cut. | ||
| So I was the very first person to be placed on the JV team. | ||
| Oh no. | ||
| So the best of the JV, right? | ||
| I we we didn't have a coach. | ||
|
unidentified
|
School did not have a basketball program. | |
| So my friend my friend's mom, who prior to this just owned a bakery. | ||
| She was like, I'll go. | ||
| I mean, she had no she had no experience outside of pastries. | ||
| And she got like a clipboard, like a whiteboard clipboard, and we met at the school gym and she started running drills with us. | ||
| And it was like whoever else wanted to be play can play. | ||
| So I yes, I got cut last, so I was the you know. | ||
| How'd you do? | ||
| I want I was the MV. | ||
| So I I was MVP of the team for the season. | ||
| Nice. | ||
| Went to the award ceremony. | ||
| No, let me finish talking. | ||
| Oh, sorry. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, no. | |
| You'll see. | ||
| The team, first of all, so we weren't good, we knew we weren't good, and we were like, okay, watch this first team we're gonna play is gonna be like amazing. | ||
| So we show up for this first game, okay. | ||
| We get to the Catholic CYO center, it's like the Catholic youth organization gym. | ||
| We get there, every single kid on that team is just like Dominican or like the like we were all like scorny little white kids. | ||
| These kids were like six feet tall already. | ||
| I I'll never forget it. | ||
| I walked in and what the you do drills in the beginning before you start the game, you all take like going to line and take layups on your side, they're taking layups on their side. | ||
| And I remember I I locked eyes with some kid and he looked at me and he was dribbling the ball backwards through his legs as he walked backwards. | ||
| And he didn't break eye contact with me. | ||
| And then he like ran up and like he did a layup and like tapped the backboard or whatever. | ||
| We lost 44 nothing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| 44 nothing. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| So at the end of the game, you're supposed to like line up and you all like you know, touch hands or whatever. | ||
| And you go upstairs in this little rec room, and you get like some Fritos and a juice box or whatever, right? | ||
| So this the parents were there, and the parents of this team were engaged. | ||
| I mean, they they were I'm a shutout in basketball is pretty tough. | ||
| And the parents were going nuts. | ||
| And so at the end, when the buzzer sounded, like the parents were chanting 44 zip zip, 44 zip, and they were chanting it like loud, right? | ||
| And then when we got online, the kids started chanting, the parents started chanting. | ||
| The parents ran onto the court, and I just literally like, and we're shaking hands, they're all chanting 44 zip. | ||
| We go all together up the stairs to get the juice box on. | ||
| The parents are screaming it up the hallway, 44, right in our face, like 44 zip zip. | ||
| I mean, literally, it was like the most humiliating experience. | ||
| Next game, uh, we played Blessed Sacrament. | ||
| We lost 56-3. | ||
| I had the three points. | ||
| Congratulations. | ||
| Two points and a foul. | ||
| Uh a bucket and a foul, right? | ||
| And then we proceeded to go 0-14 on the year. | ||
| The last the last game of the season at halftime. | ||
| I don't know what happened. | ||
| We looked up and we were winning. | ||
| It was the first time we ever had a lead. | ||
| It was the last game of the year as halftime. | ||
| And someone was like, holy shit, we're fucking winning. | ||
| And we looked up and it was like 1816 or something, and we lost. | ||
| So they proceed to have the awards dinner. | ||
| Well, you know, everyone like it was all the teams. | ||
| It's like it's a sports dinner. | ||
| So like they're doing all the awards for varsity JV across all the platforms, and they insisted on doing it. | ||
| So I was the MV. | ||
| I was the MVP of the team. | ||
| Because you scored the only three points. | ||
| I had 16 points on the season. | ||
| 14 games, 16 points. | ||
| I had to get up in front of everyone at the buffet and ho and take the trophy that said Salvo Cano MVP JV, you know, 1990, whatever it was. | ||
| And I would just was like, Thank you. | ||
| You know, like we were owing four. | ||
| I had 16 fucking points. | ||
| I have that, I have that trophy right now in my den on my mantle. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| Yeah, that's hilarious. | ||
| 16 points on the season. | ||
| This episode is brought to you by Happy Dad Hard Seltzer. | ||
| Most hard beverages overcomplicate everything. | ||
| Happy Dad keeps it simple, low carbonation, gluten-free, and only a hundred calories in every can. | ||
| Barbecues, golf rounds, hanging by the pool, chilling after work. | ||
| Happy Dad is perfect for whatever you're up to. | ||
| Everyone is drinking all these skinny cans loaded with sugar, but Happy Dad only has one gram of sugar in a normal can. | ||
| You can grab a variety pack featuring lemon lime, watermelon, pineapple, and wild cherry, and don't sleep on the grape collab with death row records. | ||
| It's a fan favorite for a reason. | ||
| Happy Dad is now available nationwide in the USA and Canada. | ||
| Go to your local liquor store or visit Happy Dad.com for a limited time. | ||
| Use the code Rogan to buy one happy dad trucker hat and get one free. | ||
| Enjoy a cold happy dad. | ||
| Must be 21 plus. | ||
| Please drink responsibly. | ||
| Happy Dad, hard seltzer, NT, malt alcohol, Orange County, California. | ||
| Boy, that'll teach you a sense of humor. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I mean, right away I would just say 44 zip zip in your face by grown-ups. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Zip. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jesus. | |
| I mean, like, going like that. | ||
| What kind of sportsmanship is that? | ||
| There was none there that day. | ||
| There was none there that day. | ||
| There's something to be said for that. | ||
| There's something to be said for that. | ||
| We had no business being out of that. | ||
| I can only imagine what it looked like. | ||
| Like if they if they want their kids to be pros, you know. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| If they want a the kids to really dominate, you gotta really encourage the shit out of them. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know. | ||
| And for a lot of people. | ||
| Look, if you've got a kid that's six feet tall already, and you know, he's fucking 14 and he's really good already at basketball, you're like, we might get rich. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, this is like a shot. | ||
| Yeah, it's true. | ||
| Fuck yeah, it's a giant shot. | ||
| I mean, if a kid can make it, yeah. | ||
| In professional sports. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| You know, it's your kid, and it made me if you're a lower income people, and you know you have a kid and you your family's really into sports. | ||
| I hope it's a way out. | ||
| Oh, yeah, man. | ||
| I mean, it's like one of the rare things. | ||
| It's a lot of pressure on those kids. | ||
| Oh my god, I could imagine. | ||
| We didn't have uniforms, our team. | ||
| Every other uniforms, no, we wore a gym uniform, so that's hilarious. | ||
| Which was like, you know, like the short shorts and like just the t-shirt and stuff. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| And me, I was like such a I I tucked mine in, my socks are up to my knees, that kind of thing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I have to pitch it. | ||
| It's a my little giants or whatever. | ||
| There's no win at the end, though. | ||
| It doesn't have to be failed miserably. | ||
| You don't have to win. | ||
| Now how hard it was to accept that trophy. | ||
| It's odd. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But now it's like great. | ||
| It's like I have the trophy and I like I should I I I never did it on stage. | ||
| I should maybe work that in the city. | ||
| It's a good setup for being a comedian. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, that kind of like humility. | ||
| It's like it humbles you. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's a good setup. | ||
| Like you gotta realize. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| We're not all created equal. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| That's a crock of shit. | ||
| I'm funnier than any one of those kids, I'll tell you that one. | ||
| There you go. | ||
| But like the idea that everyone's created equal physically is that's a hilarious idea. | ||
| You haven't met any extreme athletes. | ||
| There's people out there that are just they're different than all of us. | ||
| Just it's not fair. | ||
| That's just how the universe works. | ||
| Some people's great grandparents were fucking Vikings. | ||
| Like for real Vikings. | ||
| I've been I've been trying to like figure out what else to do. | ||
| Like I just I need some type of outlet because it's like I I haven't been doing it. | ||
| Why don't you take up a sport? | ||
| Well, so I have so another thing that happened to me, this was the weirdest thing ever. | ||
| I was like, just popped into my head. | ||
| I don't know why. | ||
| I was like, I think I want to learn how to sail. | ||
| What I think I might have meant pro maybe is like I want to learn how to drive a boat. | ||
| But like I was like, I think I want to learn how to sail. | ||
| And so I was telling this to my wife, and then like just same thing as the trainer, like uh like a few days later, it was like four days later. | ||
| I was at music class with my daughter, and one of the dads was there with his daughter, and I was inviting him to go somewhere, like a group activity, and he was like, I'd love to, but I can't. | ||
| I teach sailing that day. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa. | |
| And I was like, Are you serious? | ||
| And you were already thinking about it. | ||
| Four days ago I said to my wife, I want to learn how to sail. | ||
| He goes, Let's go. | ||
| Do you think that you have the ability to manifest things like that in your life? | ||
| Do you ever wonder? | ||
| I don't think. | ||
| I don't I don't think. | ||
| There are people that believe that. | ||
| There are people that believe that the way your consciousness interacts with the universe is what makes things happen. | ||
| Fucking people don't happen exactly as randomly as we want to believe that they do. | ||
| But there are things that you do where you put energy out there. | ||
| I'd like to put it in and you make there's a lot of examples of it. | ||
| It's a weird one to believe in. | ||
| Because I feel like it's an element to life. | ||
| And the problem is people are always looking for it to be the element, like the thing. | ||
| Like, do you remember that movie The Secret? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So during that time, a lot of people unfortunately got convinced that they could wish their life into existence. | ||
| Yeah, they get like a board and a vision board and all that stuff. | ||
| I think that is a part of things. | ||
| That that putting something into your head is a part of things. | ||
| But I don't I don't think it's the whole thing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And I think if you think of it as the primary thing instead of thinking of it as the whole like the whole thing is all these different pieces. | ||
| Like if you want to get healthy, you have to eat well, you have to take vitamins, you have to exercise, you have to sleep, you have to drink plenty of water, you have to cut out all the bad stuff, like alcohol and that. | ||
| So there's a lot of elements. | ||
| It's not just work out. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Right. | ||
| There's a lot of elements. | ||
| And I think that's the thing with like manifesting stuff. | ||
| I don't think it's entirely bullshit. | ||
| I think there's something to it. | ||
| I mean, look, you you start, you know, you start lining all your ducks in a row, eventually, you know, something's gonna be cohesive. | ||
| But but the thing of like me running into a guy. | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| Yeah, that that's like what's that? | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| The sailing and the fitness training. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like right when you're putting it out there, I there's a lot of people that believe this, and that believe that what we think of as physical reality, just being static and locked down. | ||
| It's not really the case. | ||
| And that there's a strange dance between consciousness and physical reality that we're not totally aware of. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And that we don't really have the senses to like be able to measure it, to to to somehow or another quantify it and put it on a scale. | ||
| Like what percentage of how your life Goes depends on how you what kind of energy you put out there. | ||
| Energy's big energy's big. | ||
| That's why I'm always very particular about who I hang out with. | ||
| Because people think it's no big deal to hang out with idiots. | ||
| But the problem is you're absorbing their energy. | ||
| And instead of hanging out with really cool people and you absorb their energy, and everybody like gets out of there feeling fucking great. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What a good time. | ||
| What a good time. | ||
| They just suck the energy. | ||
| They suck it and they make it about them and they get negative and they're fucking passive aggressive and weird or whatever it is. | ||
| It's like I don't want to deal with them anymore, man. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You eventually shed those people home. | ||
| You should because they are energy. | ||
| It's like you you can I and I think how you feel personally, like how your life is going has a giant effect on how your life can go because you're thinking in a positive way. | ||
| You know, like you're you're you're in the right groove, you're in the right vibration. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| If you want to get real hippie, you want to get all crystally. | ||
| But there's something to it. | ||
| It's not everything. | ||
| It's not the whole thing. | ||
| I don't think it should be dismissed. | ||
| Because I think there's a reality to it. | ||
| Because I just there's too many times. | ||
| Too many times. | ||
| Like, how many times have you ever run into a fucking trainer? | ||
| And the guy's telling you a train. | ||
| Fucking never, right? | ||
| Someone blew me away. | ||
| How many times do you ever run into someone who teaches it? | ||
| And I took it. | ||
| I went sailing the other day. | ||
| Took my first one in New York Harbor, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| It was crazy. | ||
| My parents lived on a sailboat for like two years. | ||
| Might have been more. | ||
| Might have been a little more. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They just started they before you were born? | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| No. | ||
| When I was already a grown man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
| Like right when I started getting on TV and I started making some loot. | ||
| Um, I helped them get this sailboat, and they got a sailboat, and they just live. | ||
| They already sailed. | ||
| No, no, they learned how to sail and did it. | ||
| Whoa, because it's not easy, by the way. | ||
| Gangster move. | ||
| Yeah, and they were like living down like in the Bahamas and shit. | ||
| That's living off of a sailboat for a few years. | ||
| What kind of parents you got? | ||
| Uh my parents, this is a foreign idea to me. | ||
| Yeah, they just took they took this chance. | ||
| They just decided like to let's see. | ||
| But they they lived on it. | ||
| Oh, yeah, with a cat too, with our cat that we had when we were kids. | ||
| The cat was on the boat with them. | ||
| This is fascinating. | ||
| Yeah, they were uh they took well, they're still alive. | ||
| I shouldn't say they were, they are. | ||
| They they you know, they they like to live life. | ||
| And so they went to the body. | ||
| I did, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, I visited them on the boat. | ||
| Yeah, it was fun. | ||
| Uh I didn't visit them in the Bahamas. | ||
| I visited them when they had it out here. | ||
| Oh, they had it in America. | ||
| But uh it was uh interesting because like to be able to do that, that's a crazy scan. | ||
| And they had to weather some storms. | ||
| Like they had to get docked up during a storm. | ||
| My stepdad had to go out to someone else's boat because it wasn't tied down, and he had to tie this dude's boat down in the middle of a fucking storm. | ||
| Yeah, that's like life. | ||
| Life risking shit. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| They did it for a couple years. | ||
|
unidentified
|
My mom was like, What was the life before that? | |
| Like, was there just a standard? | ||
| No, yeah, he's an architect, and uh, you know. | ||
| Because that is a bold choice. | ||
| Yeah, it was a crazy choice. | ||
| Not even to just learn because it's like I'm gonna live on this sailboat, I'm gonna go live in a tropical environment, I'm gonna live, I'm gonna learn how to sail. | ||
| I think they just you know, people don't like work, man. | ||
| Like a regular job, like work sucks. | ||
| And if you and you get to a certain point in your life when your kids have left the house and you're like, this is life. | ||
| This isn't like preparing for something. | ||
| Yeah, this is life. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I'm not preparing for life right now, so I don't want to do this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| I don't like doing this. | ||
| Let's just do something else while we can. | ||
| Yeah, because it was it and like when you're out on a boat, it's that's what it is. | ||
| Yeah, that's what it is. | ||
| It's like being in the mountains, like or you know, being in nature. | ||
| When you're in nature, you go to the woods, like, okay, this is just this is the only thing that matters. | ||
| Like this existence. | ||
| I like that because I I didn't grow up with that, and that's not common for me, and it's like the one thing that really resonates with me as far as like shutting my brain off and things like that. | ||
| Oh, yeah, the oceans. | ||
| There's a reason why all those rich folks live like right on the ocean. | ||
| They're not stupid. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I rented a house once in in Malibu. | ||
| We were getting our kitchen redone in California, and uh we we couldn't stay in the house, and so um for like four months we rented a house and we rented this house like on the water, and uh you wake up and you sit in the patio and it's these sliding glass doors, and you're literally above right above the ocean. | ||
| So you see nothing but this little little balcony and then water, and you're like, oh I get it. | ||
| Yeah, I wonder why these people live right next to each other in a 20 million dollar house. | ||
| Like I was like, who the fuck wants to buy a house with no yard? | ||
| You're jammed up next to your neighbors. | ||
| That's stupid. | ||
| And then I got there one morning drinking coffee, sitting there by myself, smoking a joint. | ||
| I'm like, okay. | ||
| Yeah, it's like biological. | ||
| It's like you can't get it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I go, oh yeah, I get it. | ||
| I see what you guys are doing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, yeah, this is better. | ||
| This is like you're watching a show and a work of art at the same time while you're you're taking in sunshine and fresh clean air from the ocean. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But here's here's the fucker. | ||
| The difference between the water in the day and the water in the night is huge. | ||
| The water in the day is beautiful. | ||
| It's blue, and you see dolphins and you see seagulls everywhere. | ||
| It's incredible. | ||
| It's it's food for the soul. | ||
|
unidentified
|
At night, it's a black monster. | |
| Yeah, man. | ||
| At night, when you realize, especially me, because you know, I'm probably a little high at the time. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And I'm looking out at that water. | ||
| Abyss. | ||
| And I'm like, there is billions and trillions of gallons of water out there, and no one can control it. | ||
| And all it takes is the earth just having this one little one little shift of the tectonic plates. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And oh fucking wave is coming. | |
| And you're right on the edge. | ||
| How and I sleep like a log. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know, like it's Yeah, if a tsunami's coming, you're done. | |
| Yeah, look at this one swept away. | ||
| I this is the outer banks. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah, and this ain't even a tsunami. | ||
| This is just a house game. | ||
| Yeah, that's that's tough, man. | ||
| That's there's a video of this guy walking his dog in Russia. | ||
| And it's real recent. | ||
| And there was uh a tsunami that there was a giant warning. | ||
| They knew it was gonna happen because there was a huge earthquake off the coast. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And so they knew it was coming. | ||
| So this guy is way up on this cliff side. | ||
| Watch this. | ||
| Look how high he is. | ||
| See how high he is? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| That water is he? | ||
| Oh, he's in Russia. | ||
| He's say he that's him and taking the video. | ||
| Yeah, so he's he's taking his video and he's with his dog. | ||
| It's kind of cool when you hear his voice too. | ||
| It's like, Well, so look, look how high he was, right? | ||
| And look at this water coming in. | ||
| Oh, dude, it gets all the way over the top. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Look at the dog. | ||
| The dog's almost died. | ||
| Dog doesn't know it almost died. | ||
| This silly dog is just sitting there. | ||
| It keeps going. | ||
| Bro, this is banana. | ||
| That's that's horrifying. | ||
| Look how high it gets. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And he's now at this point in time, he's realizing like, oh shit, look, it gets over the top. | ||
| It crests over the top of the fucking hill. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, that's like a hundred feet. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I it's that's insane. | ||
| Yeah, you've seen the perfect sword. | ||
| But that's what happens at night. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| When you're sitting there at night, you can't sleep. | ||
| Because you're like, what am I doing? | ||
| Why would I sleep here? | ||
| This is so stupid. | ||
| It's it's weird how it flips like that. | ||
| Just all you have to do is just be real. | ||
| Like in the day, you're not real. | ||
| It's say it's like, oh, the sun has given me vitamin D. It's like at night, it's like, no, no, no, no, no. | ||
| This is just water. | ||
| An immense amount of water that no one is in control of. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Get out of here. | ||
| I was like, scuba. | ||
| No. | ||
| No? | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| No, no. | ||
| That's their world. | ||
| That's their world, dude. | ||
| This is an ad by BetterHelp. | ||
| We have a lot of big holidays coming up, but before you start preparing for trick-or-treaters or make plans for travel for Thanksgiving, there's one other big day you should focus on. | ||
| And if you don't know already, it's a great day to send some love to therapists. | ||
| Maybe a therapist has made a positive impact on you or someone you love. | ||
| Therapists listen, ask the right questions, and help someone move forward. | ||
| They can help you if there's something keeping you up at night. | ||
| If you're looking for a safe space, Better Help is a good place to start. | ||
| They've spent the past decade helping people connect with the right professional therapist. | ||
| And based on the millions of highly rated reviews, it's safe to say they do a great job. | ||
| Better help does most of the work for you too. | ||
| All you have to do is fill out a quick questionnaire. | ||
| This world mental health day, we're celebrating the therapists who've helped millions of people take a step forward. | ||
| If you're ready to find the right therapist for you, BetterHelp can help you start that journey. | ||
| Our listeners get 10% off their first month at better help.com slash J R E. That's better H E L P dot com slash J R E. I did it. | ||
| I I I did it on a on a on a trip in uh the Cayman Islands. | ||
| And uh I always wanted to do it, so I was psyched to do it. | ||
| And I did one time prior to that in a pool, so I was like, all right, I kind of gonna whatever. | ||
| And I almost couldn't go through with it because like the the um the initial descent, they have to put weights on you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh boy. | |
| And it just goes against everything your body feels your body's like no no no no no and they say like you know, try to breathe measured. | ||
| If you breathe a lot, you run out of air faster. | ||
| Oh fun. | ||
| Right? | ||
| So it's like yeah, just just hearing the fact, oh, you run out of air. | ||
| Is the tank the the meter based on how much air is in or how much time or like how much you've been breathing? | ||
| Like could you fuck up and and breathe too much? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| And it wouldn't say E yet. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| I mean I had the little dial so it'll show you. | ||
| Yeah, and I was with someone. | ||
| I was like, you know, but still, by the way, it doesn't matter, by the way. | ||
| So it's like I couldn't get down. | ||
| I'm claustrophobic, and so I think that played into it, but like you have to start it just you have to overcome the sensation that you're maybe drowning or being suffocated. | ||
| Like, you know, you like you go down and the weights start to pull you down and you adjust to breathing through here, but then that's it. | ||
| Like, and if you want to like talk, or it's like you don't you don't feel comfortable and you just want out, this you know, you can't just get out. | ||
| And once you go down 30 feet or so, you have to like you know, you can't just f shoot up either. | ||
| You have to go up like slowly, obviously. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| I mean, it's not 30 feet as the bends, but like you know, that whole thing. | ||
| And so I think it's a lot of people. | ||
| No, I I only went 30 feet. | ||
| I think that's like very simple stuff. | ||
| But I still don't think you need real shoot up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| It's yeah, it's deeper than a little bit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But um but Which is crazy. | ||
| You get too much nitrogen in your blood and you're fucked. | ||
| It's fucked up, right? | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| And I got it. | ||
| That's their world, bro. | ||
| That's not your world. | ||
| That's their world. | ||
| Well, it was 30 feet down, it was still kind of my world. | ||
| That's far. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| That's far. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, but I could have breath. | |
| I can still see our world, you know what I mean? | ||
| But if you're out of breath and you gotta get to that 30 feet and you're you're exhausted and out of breath, that's fucking terrifying. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Well, it was me and my friend, and that was it. | ||
| It was an instructor. | ||
| No one else can show up. | ||
| It was his birthday, I was taking them for his birthday, right? | ||
| So they like tell you some things of like, all right, I'm gonna go down there with you and like telling you signals and stuff. | ||
| You know, like if I do this or if I do, you know, whatever the signals were. | ||
| And I'm like, all right, I'm trying to like remember these goddamn signals, especially like if I need to communicate something. | ||
| Yeah, there should be a test. | ||
| Yeah, there wasn't. | ||
| So we go down, I finally overcome it, and I get down there. | ||
| And like once I got down there and calmed down, I had moments where I pa was a little panicky again, but like in the moments where I was calm, I was like, all right, I'm going slow, I'm breathing slow, this is cool. | ||
| And you just kind of like start exploring, and there were these big, like, I guess Oscar, big these big fish, like the size like literally the size of almost my body, like five or six of them together just there. | ||
| But they weren't like, you know, they couldn't harm you, but like just the sheer size of them was like I'll stay away from them. | ||
| But then this instructor starts swimming forward, and then my friend is behind her and I'm behind him. | ||
| And at one point, like I, you know, I'm not good with the paddles. | ||
| No, the uh flippers? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Flippers. | |
| Is that fli flippers? | ||
| Like I don't I I don't know. | ||
| Some people are just good with them, but like it's kind of like it's it's weird. | ||
| It's unnatural and unnatural feeling. | ||
| So I'm not good with them, and I got this fucking tank on me, and you know, everything's tight, you know, and it's like and I'm trying to use the flip prints, and I'm not really catching, like I'm kinda falling behind a little bit, I'm not really doing it great, and then I start to try to do it faster, but then that like spins me a little bit. | ||
| So now I'm spinning down there and I'm trying to kick out of it, and I like want to communicate to the instructor, and she's in front of my friend swimming forward. | ||
| And my friends, I'm looking at his ass. | ||
| I'm like, I'm just like fucking like I'm just like waving my hands like that seems help. | ||
| Wildly irresponsible. | ||
| Yeah, like she I don't think she should have led like that. | ||
| And what she was I would say she was probably 20 feet or ahead of me swimming forward. | ||
| And so I at that one point. | ||
| I was like, this is not like this is this is crazy. | ||
| She doesn't I can't get help if I need help right now. | ||
| And then you're panicking. | ||
| I I did. | ||
| I panicked. | ||
| I started breathing heavy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Of course. | |
| And I had to like literally just control you know, bring myself back down. | ||
| Let me Ask you this. | ||
| Um they don't give you any like tests to make sure that you're good at scuba diving? | ||
| Yeah, we we went in the water first. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Like in the shallow area. | ||
| And like we did like some exercises and drills or whatever, and they explained the signs. | ||
| Uh-huh. | ||
| Did you what's gonna happen? | ||
| Did you tell her you're claustrophobic? | ||
| I don't I don't think I did. | ||
| When you say you're claustrophobic, like are you self-diagnosed, or did you go to a mental hospital? | ||
| Self. | ||
| You went crazy. | ||
| But if how did you what do you where do you get that from? | ||
| Like where do where do where do I think or why I think I have astrophobic what makes you uh because I've been in scenarios in confined small spaces where I couldn't get out or I didn't have a lot of mobility and I literally had a panic, like we have a panic attack. | ||
| Like I stuck my heart starts beating out my chest. | ||
| I feel like I can't breathe. | ||
| So it's like a an anxiety of being confined to a small space. | ||
| Yeah, like when I was um uh I did an MRI. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| That was like I That's very claustrophobic. | ||
| Started beating out of my chest and there was one time on a plane a long time ago. | ||
| I don't like to fly either. | ||
| So that combined with like I was in a row, like a really tight row, like crammed in. | ||
| And I just I don't know, I just it's it's happened uh a few times in my life where in the like the the the like the back row of like a a like a a van where like it was closed in like and I couldn't j uh anywhere I can't get right out. | ||
| And one time I was in a stretcher and I um they like lock you like they strap you in. | ||
| That I can't take that. | ||
| I can't take it. | ||
| What happened to you? | ||
| I was in a car accident. | ||
| Yeah, I was fine. | ||
| I was okay. | ||
| But they just precautionary put you in his judge. | ||
| I was I was to tell you the truth, I saw I was dri I was driving and a guy ran a red uh stop sign and like plowed fast and plowed into me. | ||
| I was a teenager, and my best friend was driving behind me, so he watched it happen. | ||
| So he called right away. | ||
| But I I guess I kinda like I don't remember. | ||
| I got hit and then I remember um my girlfriend at the time crying and I I remember talking to her, but I have no vision. | ||
| I just hear the words. | ||
| And I remember like I was hugging her and I could feel her tears, and then the next thing I remember in my mind was that I I was in a stretcher on the floor and I woke up and like the ambulance was there and everything was there. | ||
| That's the next thing I remember. | ||
| But I'm telling this guy I'm in this fucking thing, and he has me on the floor behind the ambulance, and I'm right by the exhaust pipe. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| I'm just laying on the and the things like just right by the I'm like, can somebody fucking move me from away from the exhaust pipe? | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know? | |
| But uh I couldn't when I'm c when I'm held down like that and confined and I can't move, it's like I don't know, I just feel like I can't breathe. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I it's I start to freak out. | ||
| My mom has it, so I don't know if it's like I don't know if it's I just wonder what the difference between that and general anxiety is. | ||
| Because if you have general anxiety, I would imagine you would get claustrophobic too. | ||
| So maybe that's what it is. | ||
| Well, I'm just telling you what I feel in confined spaces. | ||
| Oh, the reason why I'm asking is because I think we have excuse me. | ||
| I think we have gym genetic memory of bad stuff. | ||
| I think that's why some people are allergic or or are terrified of snakes. | ||
| Some people tear like there's a thing, a real thing, a phidiophobia or arachnophobia. | ||
| See spider some people like they go into a hot panic. | ||
| It's different than anything else. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And I think there's something like in the genes from you know, millions of years of evolution where someone down the line died or almost died because of one of these fucking spiders or one of these snakes, or you saw someone get killed by a snake and you see them and you fucking lock up. | ||
| How do you explain the phobia of clowns? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Well, I mean John Wayne Gacy. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| There's there's a bunch of somewhere along the line You can't see their real face. | ||
| Yeah it's scary. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's scary to not be able to see someone's real face. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Which was like one of the most fucked up things we did to kids during the pandemic is make everybody wear masks. | ||
| Because kids are in school and they're not getting facial expressions. | ||
| Right. | ||
| They're not getting them from teachers, they're not getting them from their classmates. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| That's weird. | ||
| That's not good for human development. | ||
| Yeah, that was the norm. | ||
| There's something, especially as kids, we don't like if we can't figure your face out. | ||
| I can't see your whole face. | ||
| You're wearing paint, so I'm not getting the right signals. | ||
| You got a rubber nose on, you got weird fucking crazy hair. | ||
| I'm like, I don't know if you're cool or not cool. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Right? | ||
| If you're a regular guy, and I could tell if you're creepy. | ||
| I can tell like this guy's got weird energy. | ||
| Let's get out of here. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But a clown's like, hello, boys and girls. | ||
| You're allowed to act like in this weird silly way. | ||
| Full on demonic psychopath that you could hide as a clown. | ||
| And you can hide with that language. | ||
| That clown language. | ||
| Hi, boys and girls, would you like to see a trick? | ||
| Meanwhile, you're thinking about cutting that kid up in your basement. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You know? | ||
| And that those are real human beings. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Do you remember when clowns like for a minute were like in the news everywhere because there was like a trend that clowns were terrorizing towns? | ||
| It was like five years, like maybe meh less than ten years ago. | ||
| No. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| So where I'm from in Staten Island, we had the Staten Island clown. | ||
| Oh no. | ||
| And this there was a clown just showing up in public spaces and events just watching people and then like recessing like back into the night and it would make appearances and started making the papers. | ||
| I do remember that. | ||
| Oh, it's wild. | ||
| Was it around the time that it came out though? | ||
| I don't think it was it. | ||
| Do you but but the book Maybe it was terrifier? | ||
| Oh, that late. | ||
| Yeah, it was. | ||
| What year was this? | ||
| I was I think it was like I would say I would put it out ten years. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| It was 2016. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| But then other places, like other people started doing it. | ||
| And then like and then it was like clowns or that was kind of fun, actually though. | ||
| I do remember that. | ||
| I I like that. | ||
| I like that. | ||
| I like the idea that there might be a clown that would go out one night for like the guy. | ||
| Sam or something like that. | ||
| People like, if you're going out tonight, look out for the clowns. | ||
| It is weird that like there's always been throughout history this Jack the Ripper. | ||
| There's always been these people. | ||
| In Austin, they say there's a new strangles. | ||
| They don't know who Jack the Ripper is, right? | ||
| I feel like there's some new but there's always like a story. | ||
| New evidence reveals the true identity of Jack the Ripper. | ||
| You never know what's just clickbait bullshit, and you click on it some nonsense website that tells you they found Jack the Ripper. | ||
| So you're not gonna get me every time. | ||
| I just clicked on something that said that uh Christian Bale was Banksy. | ||
| Nah. | ||
| I s there was an article. | ||
| Well he's an amazing actor. | ||
| That guy can do anything. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It can't be it's bullshit, but I but I was it would be fun if it was. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| He's an interesting dude. | ||
| You know, he drives like a 1983 Toyota Tundra or a 93. | ||
| Really? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Why? | |
| Not even a tundra, a Tacoma. | ||
| He's a weird dude. | ||
| Just like this is all I need. | ||
| I drive this. | ||
| He's got a regular Toyota pickup truck. | ||
| I shouldn't have like doxxed him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Now people are gonna be looking at it. | |
| Yeah, look at him. | ||
| Dude, he's not gonna find it. | ||
| He's got a tundra. | ||
| I mean this thing was April Fool's. | ||
| What's that? | ||
| Banksy thing was April Fool's. | ||
| Oh, was it? | ||
| The Banksy thing was. | ||
| Someone sent me a link. | ||
| I didn't even know. | ||
| I wouldn't be shocked if it was, though. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Like as good as that guy is, he could kind of do whatever he wants. | ||
| You know, when you get to like that level of actor, those are like weird, exceptional humans. | ||
| They don't come along that often. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You know, the Gary Oldman's the Daniel Day Lewis's, there's these people that like become another person. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Those weirdos, they could do whatever they want. | ||
| If he wanted to be Banksy, I would go, okay. | ||
| Yeah, it's not like Banksy's making mona leases everywhere. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| Yeah, they're playing with different rules. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I think. | ||
| But I was I remember being I was disappointed when I found out it was him. | ||
| Because like, you know, it's like, ah, I don't know. | ||
| I want it to be mysterious. | ||
| It's kind of amazing that nobody knows who Banksy is. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, it it's really weird, actually. | ||
| Did you see that uh doc that oh exit through the gift shop? | ||
| I didn't. | ||
| It's pretty interesting. | ||
| It's it's like it it follows other artists. | ||
| His name's like Mr. He has a moniker that he goes by, and like people thought that he was Banksy. | ||
| And so like it spends the whole thing like following him, but it turns out he's not. | ||
| But it was it was a fun watch, but it was like uh it's it's just wild to me that after all this time uh in the age we're living in now, nothing has gotten like everyone like how many people know who he is? | ||
| Like, you know, how close to the vest is his identity? | ||
| Well, he would have to be a truly brilliant person to keep it together. | ||
| That would be likely. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But even then, you know, like fuck it, I'm coming out with this. | ||
| You guys are assholes. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, right. | ||
| You know, like one guy in the band that decides to leave. | ||
| It's gotta come out. | ||
| Or his girlfriend, you should go to the press. | ||
| You could get a lot of money if you go to the press. | ||
| It's gonna come out eventually. | ||
| Just come out. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Listen, sell your story before they don't want to buy your story. | |
| We need the money. | ||
| Like, oh, should I do this? | ||
| I didn't know you did voices. | ||
| I did that one. | ||
| That's a good one. | ||
| That was pretty good. | ||
| If I close my eyes, that's good. | ||
| Sell it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sell it. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| No, I don't do that. | ||
| Mark, it's sixty-five thousand dollars. | ||
| Do you have sixty-five thousand dollars? | ||
| You don't. | ||
| But it's gonna be worth nothing. | ||
| The next thing you know, the band's breaking up. | ||
| That's funny, dude. | ||
| That always happens. | ||
| I w I went to um I went to I was invited to this brunch in England. | ||
| And it was uh it was the guy um man, I don't he was a descendant of uh uh uh who's the who's the uh the the uh the guy where it's like oh um like he what you when you want to fuck when you when you're when you're like when you're thinking about your mom was that guy the the the the the what he's talking about yeah I know I know I'm literally having a stroke I have no idea what you're saying Jamie do you know what he's saying I was he needed a couple more | ||
| words he wasn't getting to it yeah when you think of your mom that guy who's yeah the guy it's like what's it for freud oh okay yeah so he's i think he's a descendant you're talking about like a baseball player freud is like his i think it's like his like great great grandfather or something and then he also married into like it's the biggest uh mark like publication uh in in the biggest like media company conglomerate in in overseas whatever | ||
| i forget his name he's super rich famous family that married into another super rich famous family right freud family and then like whoever this is anyway i'm at this person's house okay long story short i don't remember how i got right there i think his where is it it's um it was somewhere in outside of london and it it was unassuming because we walked through row houses through an alley to get to their property and uh i think the daughter of this i'm i | ||
| feel i'm bad that I I'm forgetting their name because they were gracious hosts and but I did fan the daughter I think was a fan of ours or something and somehow got in touch and we got invited there. | ||
| It was a weird wild thing. | ||
| So I I I find myself at this place I didn't I didn't know anyone and I get there and like it was a weird collection of people there. | ||
| Apparently this guy hosts a brunch forever he's like known for it and he has a lot of friends and a lot of celebrity friends and so there was celebrities and stuff there at this brunch. | ||
| It was really cool walk in there was all food trucks and stuff and you get into their house and uh I at the time Woody Harrelson was filming a movie in London and it was crazy. | ||
| It was a one it was a live movie in one shot they tr they rehearsed for this movie for months and months and months and then a live stream into theaters and he acted live and the entire thing was one shot it was like 90 minutes long. | ||
| Whoa yeah I don't I can't believe it didn't get more press just from the nature of that. | ||
| That's insane. | ||
| But um so he was out there for that and so he was at this brunch and I think uh Owen Wilson um was at was also at this brunch how did I forget about this did you do do you recall it now? | ||
| I'm kind of recalling hearing about it now. | ||
| Yeah it wasn't any love. | ||
| No but I I went and saw it and it was on it was really fucking cool. | ||
| Um so there's I mean there's a lot of different people there Liv Tyler like it just the the guys from Oasis there was just a collection of people there and I found myself they were they had a like a little bond like a escape uh not escape room uh what do you call it safe room and the safe room was just converted it had a ping pong table in I went downstairs I walk into the safe room and Woody Harrelson and I went sort of playing ping pong down there. | ||
| And I just it was them two a cat and me and I just watched them play ping I don't know them. | ||
| But wait what I'm getting to this oh so anyway they had Banksys like they had they had a they had a fucking uh man you know I think I need to take a supplement for my I needed to get some ginkgo below me who's who's the artist with like a Picasso they had a Picasso I'm like who's the guy who puts like an eye over here the guy with no ear. | ||
| No that's Van Gogh yes they had Banks he's like just in the house like up like that. | ||
| Like wow that's probably I mean I'm you know that's a million dollars. | ||
| Yeah probably probably at least I don't know I don't I don't know how much they are but I was like oh wow that's like your own personal Banksy I went over an agent's house once in uh Aspen and this is like a long time ago and uh we were there for they used to have the Aspen Comedy Festival and I was over his house and and I was like oh did his kid make this there's like this painting on the wall and they're like, no, that's uh Chris Bob. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I go, he paid for that? | ||
| It looked like tissue. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| This is I'm just saying this to another agent. | ||
| So it's me and this other agent just shooting the shit over a couple of cocktails. | ||
| We're laughing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| But I'm like, for real? | ||
| And he goes, Yeah, that's worth like $35,000. | ||
| Like, there's no way that is like a kid did that. | ||
| It was like pieces of tissue paper glued with some paint splattered on it. | ||
| It's nuts. | ||
| I was like, what is this? | ||
| Do you know the origins of that stuff? | ||
| They think it was a CIA psy-op. | ||
| For what? | ||
| Modern art like that. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's some evidence that points to the CIA. | ||
| Like when they just nail a banana to the wall or something like that. | ||
| Yeah, a little bit of that, but a little bit of like Jackson Pollock. | ||
| So yeah, I was just splattered. | ||
| I was gonna bring up Pollock because Stern did that. | ||
| Do you ever see when Howard did that? | ||
| He he he was like, I can I can make a Jackson Pollock and you won't know the difference. | ||
| Uh-huh. | ||
| And he did it on a sh like did uh he did it and he put it next to each other and nobody knew the difference. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So what they think is we couldn't compete during the Cold War with the classical artists of Russia. | ||
| Like there's some incredible painters in Russia at the time, and I'm sure there are now. | ||
| But we didn't have uh a similar level. | ||
| We didn't have a Da Vinci over here. | ||
| We didn't we didn't have someone who could do what they were doing. | ||
| And so the CIA came up with a plot to popularize nonsense art and make it like really huge and make all these investors want to spend money buying like nonsense art. | ||
| And apparently there's uh I never would have considered that until I paid attention to all the other shit that they've done over the last, you know, X amount of decades. | ||
| And I was like, I think that's true. | ||
| Because it doesn't make sense to me that that stuff would just emerge and all of a sudden be worth millions of dollars. | ||
| And someone wouldn't figure out exactly what Howard Stern figured out that I can make this on my own. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| And you could just say it's a Pollock. | ||
| This is Jackson Pollock, and no one would know. | ||
| Like, what are we talking about then? | ||
| We're talking about something that anybody can do. | ||
| If you look at the Mona Lisa, you're like, well, I can't do that. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know, you you look at, you know, there's a million paintings. | ||
| You look at it, like, especially today. | ||
| There's something about the level that people are at today where they're making like photograph realistic paintings. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Photo realistic paintings. | ||
| Like that are above and beyond anything's ever emo anyone's ever accomplished in the history of art. | ||
| But because it looks so realistic, people don't even seem to care. | ||
| Modern art was the CIA weapon. | ||
| Spy agency used unwitting artists such as Pollack and De Koonig in a cultural cold war. | ||
| Isn't that wild? | ||
| So scroll up to the thing. | ||
| This is from uh the independent. | ||
| Oh, you have to support. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| Um so the connections are probable. | ||
| There's a period in the 1950s and nineteen sixties when the great majority of Americans disliked or even despised modern art. | ||
| President Truman summered up summed up the popular view when he said, if that's art, then I'm a hetenthot. | ||
| I don't know what that means. | ||
| Hot and tot. | ||
| Hot and tot? | ||
| What's a hot and talk? | ||
| I don't know, but I'll tell you right now, I'm starting to use that word. | ||
| Hot and tot. | ||
| Jamie, Google that word. | ||
| What's what is that word? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Never heard. | |
| Sounds like a candy. | ||
| Like a mic and I think it's a hot and tot. | ||
| T.O.T. What's a hot and tot? | ||
| Uh outdated and offensive term historically used by Europeans to refer to I don't know how to say that word, K-H-O-E-K-H-O-E, an indigenous group of nomadic pastoralists from South Africa. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| The president is using that. | ||
| You want to talk about the world being different? | ||
| The president was using a slur. | ||
| Oh my goodness. | ||
| As for the artists themselves, many were ex-communists and barely acceptable in the America of the McCarthyite era, and certainly not the sort of people normally likely to receive US government backing. | ||
| So why the CIA support them? | ||
| Because in the propaganda war with Soviet Union, this new artistic movement could be held up as proof of the creativity, the intellectual freedom, and the cultural power of the US Russian art. | ||
| Oh, of the US, rather. | ||
| Russian art strapped into the communist ideal ideological straight jacket, could not compete. | ||
| Hilarious. | ||
| So because their artists were better, we decided to come up with some nonsense art and make people think that was the shit. | ||
| And they and it it worked. | ||
| It worked. | ||
| But are we saying that they found those artists and prop them up? | ||
| No, the the artists are not. | ||
| No, no, the artists already existed, but the CIA propped them up and pushed them out as being amazing. | ||
| And they did it in an effective way. | ||
| And look, if they're all these like super duper rich people are involved or closely connected to the CIA, all they would have to do is have art exhibits at their house and tell everybody how amazing this guy is. | ||
| Yeah and how mind blowing this piece is and they'll all agree. | ||
| That's how art works in a general sense now anyway. | ||
| It's like there are people at the top that dictate a lot of this stuff. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| That's well for sure. | ||
| But there's also just talent. | ||
| You know someone's really good like all they have to do have is an Instagram page if they're really talented. | ||
| Oh yeah yeah but I'm saying the art world and the and like the the I art as a commodity and that kind of stuff like you know like the bottom can fall out at any time of that just like anything else. | ||
| It's like I guess but people always want art. | ||
| But the thing is like what I'm getting at is nobody wanted that art. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then all of a sudden it became worth millions. | ||
| And it became worth millions because of the CIA. | ||
| Yeah that's wild. | ||
| They mind fuck the American people into believing that terrible art is really good. | ||
| That's wild. | ||
| Wild. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No I because I just read an article recently about like how um art as investment like there's been like a huge change where a lot of artists that were being pushed and were really hot by galleries and this and that like just years ago and selling an X amount like their their stuff's not worth anything right now. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Wow I wonder why well when the economy starts going I would imagine that people stop buying art right like luxury items shit you don't need art. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It wasn't I forget but it wasn't it wasn't economy based. | ||
| It was like it was like the the trend like the you know the trend within that that world or whatever. | ||
| It's like I it's always weird to me how people put a price tag on that stuff. | ||
| I was in uh excuse me I was in Venice recently and we went to uh I guess it's the Guggenheim gallery the Guggenheim family gallery. | ||
| It's a house that's like it's a gallery that's like on the water. | ||
| You like you pull up in one of those little boats you get off and you're in the gallery. | ||
| And it's priceless art. | ||
| It was one person's collection. | ||
| So one super rich lady put together I I think is it called the Peggy Guggenheim in Venice I might be making that up. | ||
| But anyway it's a lady a very wealthy lady who really loved art. | ||
| Is that it? | ||
| Oh what a memory and she has this incredible collection where you're like how much did she spend like this is like a billion dollars in art. | ||
| It's nuts man. | ||
| What is that? | ||
| That's the front page of their website oh that's an exhibit that they have there. | ||
| But it's all there's some modern stuff but there's a lot of like priceless shit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Just unbelievable collection. | ||
| You collect no nothing. | ||
| I collect pool cues. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Nothing I have some art. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But I have friends that are artists. | ||
| Well this place is filled with art obviously but but like I think of my house very differently in this place. | ||
| I definitely collect art. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| I love art for here. | ||
| But for my house I don't have anything. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| I don't collect anything I started. | ||
| But this is this is like I fe I feel like the studio is a totally different thing. | ||
| Like this this is like it's not my house. | ||
| It's like a showcase you know like I like to put cool stuff in here. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like I would if my house is like this it's a too chaotic. | ||
| It's too weird. | ||
| Yeah yeah yeah that's a creative space. | ||
| It's cool. | ||
| It's cool in here. | ||
| I have a few pieces at home from this guy Greg Overton he's a friend of mine and he does Native American art that is just spectacular he does these huge pieces like this you know like six eight foot by six foot giant Native American faces that are just the I saw him for the first time I was in Park City just going through like the little town and they had a gallery and we were walking around like oh let's go look at the gallery. | ||
| And it was just like right away I was like whoa pull up one of his photos. | ||
| If you can pull up the one that I have but I I stare at that motherfucker every day. | ||
| Yeah you know it's totally different. | ||
| You know it's like I just think what it this was like this is a very accurate representation of a real person that lived here 200 years ago. | ||
| And like what is that dude's life like that's what that one's in my wall. | ||
| God how good is this guy? | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Well what what what is what is that oil? | ||
| What is it? | ||
| Oh yeah it's oil paint. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oil or acrylic or I mean I I don't know what exactly he uses, but it's painting. | ||
| So like all like realistic. | ||
| Oh, so well, it's just really good, man. | ||
| That's one of the ones that I have, but I have another one. | ||
| This dude who has white paint on his face and this crazy scar on his face. | ||
| It's like his stuff is first of all, the dude like loves that's it. | ||
| The one with above it with the uh feathers, the white one. | ||
| Yeah, that's it. | ||
| Make that a little bigger. | ||
| That one I see when I'm walking down the hall every day. | ||
| Oh shit. | ||
| That's like the first thing I see in the morning is that motherfucker staring at me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Because I, you know, uh That's kind of powerful, dude. | ||
| It's so powerful. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I love that painting. | ||
| Uh Greg's a friend too, and he's a cool motherfucker. | ||
| But that um that to me represents there was a real human that looked exactly like that walking around 200 years ago, had no idea what was gonna happen to this country in just a short amount of time. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And this dude in, you know, 18, 10, is just out here, lived his whole life out here like this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, man. | |
| Living under the stars, following the buffalo around. | ||
| It's like it there's something really powerful about knowing that people used to live like that that that recent recently, yeah. | ||
| So recent. | ||
| And now he hangs right by your powder room. | ||
| He's at the end of the hallway. | ||
| Right when I get up on purpose. | ||
| I want to walk, I want to walk towards it. | ||
| That's serious. | ||
| Like I the stuff I've collected is a little bit more like vibrant and a little bit more like, you know, not so photorealistic and stuff. | ||
| Like I was gonna tell you someone I thought you'd like is this artist, Jordy Kerwick, as I have a piece of. | ||
| He's I just I I found him on my own during the pandemic. | ||
| I bought a piece of his art, and I really loved it. | ||
| And then like what does he do? | ||
| What kind of stuff? | ||
| Uh I mean, I guess uh it's kind of like well, his style has changed. | ||
| I bought like a still piece that was like uh but now he's moved into this really funky, cool, like lizard, like um like oh. | ||
| So What is that? | ||
| That's so this is some cool shit, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Oh he's awesome. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He does sculptures too. | |
| From Australia, I believe, but he lives in France. | ||
| He does sculptures, yeah. | ||
| He's fry he blew up too, and he's like, he's the nicest guy. | ||
| So like a couple of years, like a few years after I bought his piece, I saw him like something of mine on Instagram, and I was like, Oh, he because I I zoomed with him before I bought it, I guess just to talk about it for a minute. | ||
| And I thought maybe he just fought like followed me or knew who I was because I bought his art, but he didn't. | ||
| He just knew me through comedy. | ||
| And so I hit him up and I go, hey man, I saw you like something of mine. | ||
| Like, you know, I bought something from you, right? | ||
| And he's like, I have no idea, no. | ||
| And it's like, yeah, we took we zoomed. | ||
| I I he is like, and he's like, no, no, I just am a fan. | ||
| I'm like, dude, your stuff is amazing. | ||
| And this guy was so nice, he ended up sending me more artwork, like he shipped me more artwork of his, and it's like expensive. | ||
| And he just he just was so generous. | ||
| He sent me more stuff. | ||
| Oh, that's awesome. | ||
| This guy's dope, yeah, yeah. | ||
| That looks like where the wild things are. | ||
| How fucking dope is that, right? | ||
| Very good. | ||
| His style has changed so much too, and it's like I want to get another piece. | ||
| I'm like, I part of me is like, I don't want to if I'm gonna spend yeah, if I'm gonna get it, I want to like you know, get try to vary it up, but I like his stuff so much that I just kind of want to like he does weird shit too, yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's creepy. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, art is awesome, man. | ||
| It's like it's got so few limitations. | ||
| You could do whatever you want, you paint whatever you want, sculpt whatever you want. | ||
| You know, and and you have that thing in your house and you get to stare at it, and it gives you like a whole different sense of life. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like somebody made that. | ||
| So this popped out of someone's imagination. | ||
| My cough button still is it still broken? | ||
| Let's try it. | ||
| Seems like it's working now. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You uh when the whole thing's not out, it acts a little weird. | |
| Oh, that's what it is? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Okay. | ||
| How good are you with a bow and arrow? | ||
| Pretty good. | ||
| How good? | ||
| Like I bow hunt. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Yeah, I practice. | ||
| But I didn't know every day. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, you have to. | ||
| All right, so if I I mean I um I shouldn't say have to every day, but you have to practice a lot. | ||
| You have to be really accurate. | ||
| But like back in the day when they battled with bow and arrow. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| How what skill level were those guys? | ||
| Oh, that's a totally different kind of archery. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| So that kind of archery is how much of that was like letting it fly, and how much of it was like I'm a sniper, I'm gonna like it. | ||
| Oh no, they were good. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Guys are good. | ||
| My friend Aaron Schneider, he's such a good bow hunter that he decided he wants to hunt with a recurve, like a regular bow for a while. | ||
| Because like he What's the difference? | ||
| It's way harder. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Way harder to be accurate. | ||
| Like a Robin Hood bow? | ||
| Yeah, Robin Hood bow. | ||
| A regular bow. | ||
| Yeah, he killed everything with it. | ||
| He killed bears, he killed deer, elk, everything. | ||
| He's like a professional hunter. | ||
| He's like a like a world-class hunter, ex-military guy, got into hunting, he's a fucking beast. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And when bow hunting, which is one of the hardest things to do becomes so easy that you want to pick up a regular bow and go shoot that. | ||
| That shows you what type of human you're talking about. | ||
| But he can group like into like a softball sized lump at 45 yards. | ||
| He just fires them in with super accurate with that thing. | ||
| But so if I I tried once, I was on vacation and I'm like, I'm good with a bow and arrow. | ||
| I know how to shoot a bow and arrow. | ||
| I do it all the time. | ||
| I was hitting them in the ass, hitting them in the neck. | ||
| I was hitting them all over the place. | ||
| Not at a human, not an animal, rather, it's foam target. | ||
| We're shooting recur, and I was like, I'll be able to do that. | ||
| It was like a thing that you do. | ||
| You shot ski. | ||
| It was at an island resort. | ||
| It was pretty fun. | ||
| And then you shot skeet and then you got to shoot these uh recurves, and I was like, Oh, I got this. | ||
| I was terrible. | ||
| I didn't really totally differ technique. | ||
| Yeah, it didn't carry sights. | ||
| It carried over a little. | ||
| I mean I hit the target, but I w I this there's no way I was accurate. | ||
| So if I gave chase if I ran from you and you had to get like if I get like could you take me out if I'm like if I'm running around like a moving target? | ||
| Like it's well, it depends on how far away you are. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| You know, because the arrows go in two hundred and seventy-nine feet a second. | ||
| Uh a second. | ||
| A second. | ||
| So what's that in miles? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| But that's what my when I look at my range finder. | ||
| I'm just doing quick math, but I think that's a billion miles an hour. | ||
| I have to enter in and my my range finder, I enter in how fast the arrow's going. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Enter in how fast the arrow's going, how much the arrow weighs, and it gives me like a very precise measurement of where my arrow is gonna be at the top of its flight. | ||
| So when I range something, I use a range laser range finder. | ||
| It's called a full draw, loophole makes it. | ||
| And uh when I click on the button, it gives me the distance, so I'll say like fifty three yards, but it also gives me the height of my arrow because it's measure I've entered in the speed of my arrow and the weight of my arrow and the the feet per second it goes. | ||
| So you're going from home plate to home plate to center field in a second and a half. | ||
| It's so fast. | ||
| It's like shh you barely keep your eyes on it. | ||
| See, and then mine is not as fast as other guys. | ||
| Like uh, I have a friend of mine, my friend Josh Jones, he's just put together a bow that I think goes three hundred and forty feet a second. | ||
| But he's a big tall guy, and when you're uh a taller person, you have a a longer draw length and you'll get more speed out of the bow. | ||
| I can't wrap my head around the speed of a bow. | ||
| Like very fast. | ||
| Like I said, if you were at home the way I'm thinking of it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
200 136, 340 is 232 miles per hour. | |
| 232 miles an hour? | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| That's insane. | ||
| It's so fast, dude. | ||
| That's the way I'm thinking of it. | ||
| If you're at home plate, I'm at center field, and you shoot your arrow at me, I have a second, one second to move out of the way. | ||
| His arrow's going 231.82 miles an hour. | ||
| That's bananas. | ||
| And there's people that karate chop those. | ||
| Not really. | ||
| Not that. | ||
| You kind of see a sl uh a regular okay, you got a long bow, which is probably the slowest, and then you have recurves. | ||
| Recurves, I don't know if the Mongolians invented them or if the Mongols invented them. | ||
| But the Mongols had the strongest known bows. | ||
| They had bows that take a hundred and sixty pounds to draw back. | ||
| So much so that like some of their skeletons were disfigured. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Because they had so much time pulling in one direction that their whole body was like contorted in that shape. | ||
| Chiropractor would have cleaned up back then. | ||
| But those guys were s I don't think chiropractors are real. | ||
| But uh but those but those guys were super accurate. | ||
| But you'd have to do it every day. | ||
| If you do it every day, it's like it's like a pitcher, right? | ||
| Like if you ask me to throw a strike, who knows what's gonna happen. | ||
| I might not even go near the plate. | ||
| I don't throw a ball very often. | ||
| Not since you started doing martial arts. | ||
| But I mean, but the point is like even if you did, you'd have to do it over and over and over again to be able to throw a strike in a game against a real good batter, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| That's what these guys are doing with bows and arrows. | ||
| Right. | ||
| They they're getting to that point where they it's just like a throwing a ball. | ||
| They know exactly how far it is, exactly where the arrow's gonna go at that distance. | ||
| They have a feel because they're doing it every day. | ||
| But you have to do that every day. | ||
| The kind of archery I do, you don't have to do it at as much. | ||
| It probably should do it every day. | ||
| But mine is like I'm dialing this sight out to the exact yardage. | ||
| I'm I've got like a fiber optic pin that's sitting over the spot. | ||
| Like I know exactly where it's gonna be. | ||
| It's super high tech. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then you know exactly where the arrow's gonna be at every spot of the way if you shoot it straight. | ||
| How long because of all that, is it more about understanding it to be accurate, or is there also still like you gotta be steady and everything? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I mean, obviously. | |
| You have to be you have to just do it so brief that it becomes a part of you. | ||
| It's like you know, when when you were playing basketball, I'm sure there were times when you're fucking around with your friends where you just hit a flow. | ||
| You just hit a flow and you start to get away. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That was right around my thirteenth point. | |
| But you know what I mean when you're with your friends, not with your ass kicked by Dominicans, but when you're just hanging out with your boys, every now and then you'll catch a flow, right? | ||
| Where you feel it and you just know the ball. | ||
| What what everything else is it's like taking that and just doing it all day long until you can do it at any time you want. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| You're always in that flow. | ||
| So how long did it take you to feel like oh I know what I'm doing, or oh, I I've I have a marked improvement right now. | ||
| It just takes it took years. | ||
| Years years of practice. | ||
| That's wild. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So years of just like not hitting No, you always hit the target, but not consistently. | ||
| So you know, like I'd be in my backyard, and I used to have a 45 yard target, and I was pretty good at 45 yards. | ||
| I could get most of them in the spot that I wanted to hit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| But every now and then one would go left, one would go right. | ||
| Now they're all going in there. | ||
| Now, 45 yards for me is like zip zip zip zip. | ||
| I'll st I'll ruin arrows because I'm stacking them on top of each other. | ||
| But if I go out to like eighty-five yards, then things spread out because then all of your movement is magnified. | ||
| So the key is it's like any little variation, little twitch to the left to the right, over the course of 85 yards, it's gonna vary six inches left or right, maybe. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Whereas at 45 would just be like a little bit, you know, and you'd think you're still dead on. | ||
| And it's it just magnifies all the flaws in your technique. | ||
| So it's like a you lose yourself in it because while when you're at full draw, and I'm not I'm not even talking about bow hunting, I'm just talking about target archery. | ||
| When you're at full draw and you're really trying to hit that target, you'd have no room for anything else. | ||
| There's no room in your your mind for your your bills or an argument you had with a business partner or fucking tickets you haven't paid. | ||
| None of there's no room. | ||
| Everything goes away. | ||
| It cleans the mind because it requires all of your focus. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's the best part of it. | ||
| That's the best part of it. | ||
| Everything after that, it just becomes like everything else. | ||
| It becomes like a vehicle for you to like express yourself, whether it's learning how to play a guitar, it's shooting a bow, playing pool, playing basketball. | ||
| It's like you're just finding a vehicle for you to express your spirit. | ||
| You have a let go of an arrow and like a bird, like Randy Jackson. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You ever see the Randy Jackson? | |
| That was nuts. | ||
| Birds and that feathers. | ||
| Fucking that guy was a house. | ||
| That guy threw heat. | ||
| He was like seven foot one. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He was so big. | |
| He was a gangly guy. | ||
| Fucking bird exploded. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It was perfect. | ||
| It was like the universe threw us a bone. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right? | |
| Like the universe, like, wasn't he something fucked up? | ||
| Yeah, that's fine. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Like every now and then the universe does that. | ||
| Live TV. | ||
| You just continue. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| There's feathers on the floor, but that's it's like a Looney Tune card. | ||
| Boom! | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Yo, that video. | ||
| Disintegrated. | ||
| That video is nuts. | ||
| And he's a lefty too, son. | ||
| Look at the slow-mo. | ||
| That bird made. | ||
| God, man. | ||
| What a mistake that bird made. | ||
| It's just crazy that it didn't just like kill the bird, but knocked every single feather loose. | ||
| You can just cook that thing. | ||
| Every single feather. | ||
| Put it right on the fire. | ||
| It's like it's pre-plugged. | ||
| It's like when you get into like an accident, like your shoes and socks come off. | ||
| You know, like it's like every feather went. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Let me see when uh something about lefties, too. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I think lefties learn things better than righties. | ||
| I know a lot of lefties that are like really good at shit. | ||
| It seems like the lefties that are like really good, they're like exceptionally good. | ||
| Weird, like oddly good. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think seeing everybody do everything opposite and forcing your brain to adapt to this world where you're writing and you're you're smudging your paper all the time because you're riding the wrong way. | ||
| It's all weird, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then you're seeing everybody's doing everything with their right hand and you're doing it with your left, and you're supposed to everything seems wrong to you. | ||
| Everything's so by doing that, you have to like really think about your movements. | ||
| So but the left handed comes out early, right? | ||
| It's like inherent that movement is inherent. | ||
| It's not like they're working on it. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So it's like, I don't know, do they even do they have to think about those things? | ||
| Or like is it just like coming out? | ||
| Oh, they definitely do. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because everything's reversed. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Like if someone tries to teach you something, they have to teach you the opposite. | ||
| It is a right-handed person's game, usually. | ||
| Like, say if you're a boxing coach and you only fight orthodox. | ||
| You've only fought orthodox your whole life. | ||
| And then some kid comes in and he says, I'm left-handed. | ||
| And you have to decide either gonna teach this kid fucked up and teach him left hand first, which some people actually think is uh actually a benefit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| In fact, some great boxers actually fought, like Oscar de La Hoya fought dominant hand first. | ||
| So there's a few guys that have done that. | ||
| Okay where they they will if they're right-handed guys with a they'll put their right hand in front. | ||
| But for the most part, you would want to teach that kid how to fight as a southpaw, which would mean you would have to reverse everything. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So if you don't know how to do it the right is off and you're showing some how to d do something, like you're not really so the kids gotta like learn things from his stance and watch you and just duplicate it, like mirror it from the other side. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And sometimes that just teaches you more about the movement itself because you think about it. | ||
| Because what like one of the things they say if you really want to learn something, um say if you're like a in a martial arts skill, if you're uh you have a dominant side, like if you're really good at throwing a kick with your right leg. | ||
| If you throw it and practice it and get it better with your left leg, your right leg will improve as well. | ||
| Oh, that's interesting. | ||
| I didn't hear it. | ||
| Yeah, I don't know. | ||
| It makes that I feel like, yeah. | ||
| Because you're kind of Yeah. | ||
| I I could see how that's it gives you a more comprehensive understanding of what you're doing. | ||
| And they say that about pool too. | ||
| Like, I can't really play with my left hand. | ||
| I can make like simple shots with my left hand, but there's guys that can just switch hands. | ||
| The ambidestrous people are like probably aliens. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Just equal both on both sides, like equal, they could do it w without a crazy example. | ||
| In professional pool, there's this kid named John Moore, uh elite like top of the food chain pro pool player. | ||
| Hurts his shoulder, can't play right-handed anymore. | ||
| Learns how to play left-handed, and becomes world-class left-handed. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Learned as a professional when he hurt his arm that he had to start playing left-handed, started playing left-handed and started winning like world-class events as a lefty, beating world-class top of the food chain pool players who've been playing right-handed their whole life. | ||
| And he's been playing lefty for like two years. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's nuts. | ||
| I can't write my name. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I broke my arm once and I had to write my name and I write everything with my left hand. | |
| It was fucking terrible. | ||
| Yeah, no, it's like there's nothing there. | ||
| And I draw, so I was trying to learn how to draw with my left hand. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| But I think it now in retrospect, it might have helped me draw better with my right hand. | ||
| I think if you could learn how to do something, that's why I think lefties are better at stuff. | ||
| What do you draw? | ||
| Well, I used to want to be a comic book illustrator when I was a kid. | ||
| So I drew a lot a lot of comic book stuff. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh shit. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| You do that still? | ||
| No. | ||
| No, not anymore. | ||
| You don't miss it? | ||
| Uh I mean, I can do it, I can pick it up, but I would have to get into it really to like achieve the skill that I used to have, and then I would like I don't have any time. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's fun. | ||
| I love drawing, but I don't have any time. | ||
| School always like blew my mind. | ||
| They'd just be sitting there drawing like comic book, like literal, like that good. | ||
| Oh yeah, yeah. | ||
| You self-taught, or are you just gonna Yeah, mostly self-taught? | ||
| See, that's also gotta be something that's e I mean, if you start from nothing and just like I don't know, I feel I feel like that's inside you somewhere as well, like to be a naturally gifted, just to know how to some people are just better at that than well, I had a very artistic family. | ||
| My uncle Sal and my uncle Vinny were both artists. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| So my mom's brothers, both brothers were artists. | ||
| What kind of artists? | ||
| One of them ran a pottery guild and uh I was an art teacher, and the other one did a bunch of different types of uh art, uh photography and uh did a lot of album covers. | ||
| Did album covers for Kiss. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, and he took me to work with him once and I got to meet Ace Freely when he had no makeup on. | ||
| Like before anybody knew what they really looked like. | ||
| No, no, they had makeup on back then, but no one knew what they looked like in real life. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So he showed up in the office with no makeup on. | ||
| I was like, this is crazy. | ||
| That's wild. | ||
| And I think I was probably like 10. | ||
| You know, and I was like, this is nuts. | ||
| I was just hanging out with my uncle in the office. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And fucking ace freely walked in. | ||
| That's that's wild. | ||
| My my third grade teacher, um, her brother was the drummer and twisted sister. | ||
| No. | ||
| Yeah, Tony Piero. | ||
| We're not good. | ||
| He was the first, like, I mean, like r rock star that cross dressed. | ||
| Like D. Snyder in them. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| They were they were one of the big glam, yeah, like glam rock bands. | ||
| But it was almost cross dressing. | ||
| That's him on the on the right of D. Right. | ||
| Like you would kind of you would say Yeah, that's I mean, that's that's you would ask his pronouns. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| That's like poison, all those groups back then. | ||
| But um so yeah, so she lived so we lived in these little garden apartments. | ||
| That's so ridiculous. | ||
| Bro, they were huge. | ||
| They were huge. | ||
| They were fucking huge. | ||
| Or is that natural? | ||
| Uh I don't know, maybe they added it. | ||
| I think it's like a Marilyn Man Roman. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Remember when the ladies were doing that? | ||
| They were adding a fake beauty mark. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, what are you doing, honey? | ||
| So this guy, so my teacher lived upstairs from us in the apartment building. | ||
| So he used to go be at her house all the time. | ||
| So I was in grammar school. | ||
| I was in, I was like, I I couldn't have been more than like eight. | ||
| Same or something like that. | ||
| And my dad was the superintendent of the par apartment buildings. | ||
| And so he knew everyone, and my teeth that was my teacher. | ||
| So we met him at a young age, and he used to come over to my house all the time. | ||
| So I have pictures of me at like my parents in my parents' kitchen, like just sitting down eight years old in my pajamas with him and just eating like a tuna sandwich, and he's like literally dressed like that. | ||
| He's in like I swear to God, dude. | ||
| I have one where he's in full electric blue spandex pants. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| And like a jean a ripped jean jacket with his hair all up, and I'm just it's just me and him sitting at the table. | ||
| I'm just gonna. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Oh, dude, that's so ridiculous. | ||
| We used to I remember back then. | ||
| Did you ever have that like did you we were into like the it you have a uh the the denim jacket? | ||
| Oh, I had a denim jacket. | ||
| And then we got like the patches all over it. | ||
| Oh yeah. | ||
| And then when we graduated, like everyone sign, like take a sharpie a black marker on like sign your your jacket. | ||
| I don't think that exists anymore. | ||
| Oh no. | ||
| That kind of thing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Denim jackets were a sign you were a rebel. | ||
| I have one. | ||
| Wearing a denoun denim jacket, especially if you had a pack of cigarettes in the denim jacket. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You know? | ||
| I remember there's this one kid. | ||
| You know, sometimes when you're like 14, you see some kid that like you never seen before, and you're like, wow, that guy's so cool. | ||
| There was this dude, he had a denim jacket on and a pack of cigarettes in his pocket, and he just had perfect hair, and he just looked cool, like this Italian-looking kid. | ||
| I'm like, that guy looks so cool. | ||
| I wish I was cool. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I can never be that cool. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He was like smoking cigarette on a fucking in the breeze way. | |
| And I was like, that guy, like he's in a movie. | ||
| That guy's in a movie. | ||
| I was a dork. | ||
| I was trying to hide from people. | ||
| I was trying to do that. | ||
| That influenced me so much that I took my money that I made for confirmation, and I bought a Van Halen replica guitar. | ||
| I swear I bought it. | ||
| I did you learn how to play? | ||
| No, not a fucking cord. | ||
| I it was the red guitar with like the white lines on it. | ||
| It was like a famous Eddie Vent. | ||
| So it's as a kid's one though. | ||
| And I bought it at this place still there, mode music on base. | ||
| It's a I took all my money. | ||
| I bought that, I bought an amplifier, I bought a guitar case, and I I spent all my money on it, and I never used it, never took it out of the I I I like, you know, just never used it. | ||
| I have it to this day. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Like well, you could learn as a part of your workout regimen. | ||
| Uh yeah, I can't. | ||
| Like a mental concentration workout. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Because it is kinda, right? | ||
| I used it one time. | ||
| It came to it came full circle on on the show. | ||
| Um Do you know the band Imagine Dragons? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| Okay, so we I met uh met them along the way, friendly with them. | ||
| So before they well, they was big because this was Jones Beach, which is like 15,000 people, they sold that out. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa. | |
| They were playing Jones Beach. | ||
| It was like maybe ten again ten years ago. | ||
| And we made me, they threw me out on stage before they came out as one of the opening acts. | ||
| And I had to sing and play guitar to f almost almost 15,000 people. | ||
| And I don't sing or play guitar, and they didn't tell me what songs. | ||
| I had to make it up on the spot. | ||
| Oh no. | ||
| Me and my buddy Joe, who they put him as the drummer, they introduced us as a band called Senora Lanza, which was the name of our high school Spanish teacher. | ||
| And so my God. | ||
| There was three opening acts before us, which is bonkers, right? | ||
| And so when they were about to come on, they they made it like they were gonna come on. | ||
| They lowered the lights and all those freaking spotlights started going all over the place, and the place went nuts, and then they introduced the fourth opening act, and us two walked out. | ||
| He got with the in uh he got behind the drums, and I used that guitar that I bought in 1989, June 89. | ||
| I I finally used it in like 2015, and they just they're like, All right, go, you're an opening act, and that's all they said. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| And I just started like just hitting the guitar and and just making up songs and stuff, and we were getting booed, shit. | ||
| People were throwing things at us. | ||
| I didn't even hear it. | ||
| It's probably like copyrighted. | ||
| No, no, I made it up. | ||
| Oh, oh, you mean because of the show? | ||
| No, I doubt that. | ||
| Let's let's play some of it. | ||
| Can I see it, James? | ||
| I put in your pants pocket a dedication for the set. | ||
| Open it up and read it. | ||
| Oh, you had to dedicate the set. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, the dedication was terrible because I'm gonna play look, mommy, I'm a rock star. | |
| Oh boy. | ||
| This is one of our favorites. | ||
| He doesn't have to go nothing. | ||
| Look, mommy, I'm gonna ask you something. | ||
| How badly does he suck out? | ||
| It's probably his worse than I imagine. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah. | |
| Look, mommy. | ||
| They made me sing five songs. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Shut your face, Grandma. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Um my god. | ||
| Yeah, so they also they made me call them the imagination dragons right in the beginning. | ||
| And I dedicated I said, Everyone just calm down, the imagination dragons will be out in a little in a little while. | ||
| And then the dedication was like this. | ||
| It was in Long Island. | ||
| I was like, it was like this this uh this set is dedicated to the people of Pittsburgh because I could already tell that you guys are not gonna be half as good an audience as them. | ||
| And then I started playing, they were booing us and everything. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| And then at one point, a guy came to like a guy came on stage and he tried to grab my guitar from me, and I just I didn't know what was going on. | ||
| I mean, I was like a deer in the headlights out there. | ||
| It was like 14 times, and I just pushed him away, and he's like trying to grab my guitar, and I'm pushing him away, and I'm singing through it, right? | ||
| I'm cursing also because I'm just like free for free wheeling it up there, and I didn't know they're like they're Mormons, they don't really curse. | ||
| And so like they were like, I I didn't get the memo, I wasn't supposed to curse. | ||
| Oh no, and so I'm dropping F-bombs. | ||
| I I I I sang a song called Fuck the Imagination Dragons. | ||
| I'm better than them. | ||
| Fucking how long did you sing for? | ||
| I would say I would say like probably somewhere like eight, seven, eight minutes, something like that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And then I'm getting bit with ice, everything's so long. | |
| And then uh, and then this guy he he keeps trying to get the the guitar from me. | ||
| I'm ripping it from him, and I'm like, fuck the magic. | ||
| And he's trying to, and I I wouldn't let him have it. | ||
| And I didn't realize that was the official union stage manager trying to get me off the stage because there's a curfew that they have to hit and they have to do their full show, and they had to do their finale. | ||
| And as soon as they go, you know, this past curfew on a union stage, the entire thing is like double time for every single worker there. | ||
| And then this penalties, it's hundreds, it could be like a hundred thousand dollars or yes, and so no one tells me who this guy is, so I'm shoving the real union stage manager off of me because I thought he was trying to just sabotage me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| And I thought I had to stay out there, so I push him away, I push him away. | ||
| The guy's like, give me the goddamn guitar. | ||
| I'm like, I'm not taking, you know. | ||
| And I found out afterwards that that was like official and I was supposed to get off, and I didn't. | ||
| I caused them later because they couldn't not do their encore. | ||
| Their encore went into overtime. | ||
| And the encore, that dude, he gets hooked up to his cables. | ||
| They lift him into the air and they spin him in circles while he plays drums. | ||
| It's wild. | ||
| And they said they they went into they went into the bonus and they had to pay all these fees because of because of me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh no. | |
| Did you guys reimburse them? | ||
| No, I don't have money to reimburse them. | ||
| Like I just I I I know. | ||
| I to they're still our friends, but like and at the end they're like stage dive off. | ||
| And I'm looking in the crowd, and I'm like, I'm gonna I'm gonna kill myself. | ||
| These people aren't gonna catch me. | ||
| Like they hate me. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And they staged, I stageized, so I just ran and I jumped off, but I kind of just like landed on the floor and rolled, like no one caught me. | ||
| It was, yeah, it was it was rough. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It was rough. | |
| Shh. | ||
| But that's the guitar. | ||
| That's how cool I thought that he wasn't twisted sister. | ||
| Like, that's how cool I was like, look at this guy. | ||
| Which one of your friends told you to stage dive? | ||
| Fuck him. | ||
| Uh whoever was, I don't know. | ||
| That is so irresponsible. | ||
| I know. | ||
| Well, they weren't, they were never gonna catch me. | ||
| And I guess they saw me, and I just I kind of jumped off. | ||
| I think as I as I'm in the air jumping off, I think I hit with a soda. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's like it was bad. | |
| Oh my god, that's so ridiculous. | ||
| I know that's so ridiculous. | ||
| Yeah, the show's crazy. | ||
| The show has given me like a lot of opportunities to do stuff like that. | ||
| I would never have done like that. | ||
| Well, who the fuck ever gets to do something like that? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The balls to stand up there where all those people hate you and go through with whatever they're telling you to say. | ||
| I had a ping of anxiety. | ||
| Did anybody let them know afterwards that it was for I I don't recall. | ||
| I don't recall. | ||
| I I I would imagine maybe they came out and said something, but I don't I don't remember. | ||
| It was like 10 years ago. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's funny. | |
| There was another time they put us in uh the devils uh during uh in between periods, they threw me as a goalie in the in the net of the New Jersey Devils, and all the devils came out and took slap shots on me. | ||
| Me and my buddy Q. It was two of us in net, and it was scarier than that. | ||
| Like they were taking blistering slap shots at us. | ||
| I was in full devil's gear as a goalie, and I I remember there was uh someone from like Sports Illustrated or something was there, and I have this. | ||
| I saved it like a chain of his tweets that he was tweeting, and he's like, I don't know what's going on here, but the devils are apparently taking slap shots at a civilian. | ||
| He's down on the ground, he's very hurt. | ||
| This is not a good promotion. | ||
| He's like, I don't think that the devil should be doing this type of promotion with fans. | ||
| He didn't know it was our show. | ||
| Oh wow. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And he's like, he's like Did you get hurt? | |
| No, not not like hurt hurt, it hurt, but I didn't get hurt. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| So boom, when you were down, he didn't need to be concerned. | ||
| I got back up, but like it was like it still was hitting me like in the neck and the thing. | ||
| Oh yeah, like you had the guard on and stuff. | ||
| But the guard protect your neck. | ||
| It it hurt bad, you know. | ||
| It hurt. | ||
| Where is it covered? | ||
| Does it cover your neck? | ||
| Yeah, everything was covered, but it's still like fuck still taking a puck like a 90 miles an hour to the chest and stuff. | ||
| Pucks are so hard, too. | ||
| Yeah, and I I played hockey in the like late grammar school and high school. | ||
| I played hockey, and I and I started as a goal, roller hockey goalie, but it it doesn't you can't compare the two things. | ||
| Oh, you ever see some old school photos of the old school goalies with the scars all over their face? | ||
| Dude, no, they didn't even wear fucking helmets back then. | ||
| Yeah, it's crazy. | ||
| They just played without helmets. | ||
|
unidentified
|
A puck hit you in the mug on Tuesday. | |
| You're done. | ||
| Yeah, and you gotta play again next week. | ||
| My first ever uh my first ever tryout for ice hockey in high school was I we it it was hard to play hockey back then. | ||
| Like there wasn't a lot of like it was expensive and there wasn't a lot of rinks. | ||
| We drove like two hours up to like uh like Bear Mountain or some crap, like three hours with my family, my dad, my stepmom, and they had to wait in the stands because they can't drop you off and go home because it's you just drove three hours. | ||
| So they're watching these tryouts, and I was my first time I ever put ice skates on in my life. | ||
| I had played roller hockey already, but I never put on ice skates in my life, so it's kind of like you were saying, like just trying to play like left-handed or whatever. | ||
| I was like, oh, maybe it'll transfer, you know. | ||
| And I put on these ice skates and it didn't. | ||
| I was really bad. | ||
| But um someone took a slap shot and it got deflected into the uh onto the stands. | ||
| So whatever, I didn't think anything of that. | ||
| At the end of the tryouts, I went back, got my club, got my bag, walked back out, and my my stepmom was out there with uh her eye was this big, the ambulance was there, she uh bleeding black and blue, stitches, everything. | ||
| The puck hit her right in the face. | ||
| Oh my during my tryouts. | ||
| Oh my god, dude. | ||
| Right in the face. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh I was like, oh my god. | |
| Like it was her face was this big, blood everywhere, she was already black and blue, a gash right here. | ||
| Does that happen all the time? | ||
| To her? | ||
| No, no. | ||
| The people in the crowd get hit. | ||
| I got that. | ||
| Yeah, they had to put up nets because a couple of people died. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jesus. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And this is a high school kid. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| That was a high school deflection. | ||
| Like imagine like the devil's taking slap shots at you. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Bro, that's crazy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Those guys taking slap shots at you. | ||
| Could you even react to it? | ||
| Like when did you see it coming? | ||
| It like do you could you see the puck? | ||
| It was like um a split-second battle between whether I would like try to like actually block it, or just like wince and take it. | ||
| Because it was like it was faster than you know, I was prepared for, obviously. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like it can you skate not these days, you know. | |
| I just saw something interesting. | ||
| That picture that we've always seen. | ||
| Let me find it like this. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's not real. | ||
| Right. | ||
| It's a recreation of all the times he's had stitches in his life. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
| This says it's what? | ||
| But the scars in his face are real. | ||
| What it would look like if uh the other one is 16 years of professional hockey. | ||
| The problem is like the one on the left, you can't really see very good. | ||
| It's he's very shadowy. | ||
| But you could tell he's got scars everywhere. | ||
| You know, those guys just took it in the face all the time. | ||
| This says that the first guy wore a mask in 1929. | ||
| This guy. | ||
| When do they figure it out? | ||
| Yeah, look at him. | ||
| He's already his nose is already busted. | ||
| He's like, all right, I'm putting a fucking mask on. | ||
| That guy's probably a genius. | ||
| He he had the mask. | ||
| And before he got his nose busted, like really well, like he got his nose is actively busted, right? | ||
| Maybe the mask on afterwards. | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| He's like, let me put this thing on. | ||
| Or maybe he broke his nose with the mask on. | ||
| I mean, if you take a full one to the nose, it's not like it's not a smash against your nose. | ||
| It's gonna smash. | ||
| Or was it? | ||
| One of them had it had the blood going through there right there. | ||
| The blood was going through the nose. | ||
| Oh god. | ||
| I guess it's just the hole. | ||
| Yeah, but dude. | ||
| Yeah, they just built different. | ||
| That is a hard man sport. | ||
| And it's the only sport where you're allowed to fight. | ||
| To this day. | ||
| Crazy. | ||
| Just let them have it. | ||
| It's the weirdest thing. | ||
| She just grandfathered in. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| All and all the like extra precautions now and the CTE stuff and all that stuff. | ||
| And they out the window. | ||
| It just hasn't even permeated. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Like they haven't had a meeting, not a vote. | ||
| It's just like, no, the guys need to fight. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| It's part of the sport. | ||
| Do you feel like it's less fighting now or no? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I don't watch hockey. | ||
| I haven't watched in a minute, yeah. | ||
| Um, you know, I grew up in Boston. | ||
| If you said you had to be like, say it in whispered tones. | ||
| Oh no, I don't watch hockey. | ||
| People get mad at you. | ||
| There's a big Bruins town. | ||
| Everybody loved hockey. | ||
| But for me, I was like, I don't like being cold. | ||
| So uh I don't I don't like skating. | ||
| I don't have time for this. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's a lot. | ||
| It's evolved. | ||
| You need something to watch. | ||
| It's a really fun sport to watch. | ||
| It's fast as fuck. | ||
| It's you gotta be in really good shape to play hockey. | ||
| Because those guys are just moving, move and move, move and move and move. | ||
| And it's like this delicate balancing act you're doing on metal skin. | ||
| Graceful too. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| As much as it's as it's just you know, bru brute brutal. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| Like when you watch a guy like Bobby Orr in his prime, the way he was able to maneuver through people, the the movement, it's crazy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It's beautiful swans. | ||
| Yeah, it's like a dance. | ||
| It's a dance and a sport at the same time. | ||
| Really amazing sport when you think about it that way. | ||
| And then the speed of it too. | ||
| It's a fast fucking sport, man. | ||
| Like you cannot be out of shape and play that sport. | ||
| That was the only time I was in shape in my life, probably. | ||
| It's fitness man. | ||
| You're you're constantly kind of sprinting with skates, you know. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You move shh so much core movement. | |
| And when I did that, I skated everywhere. | ||
| Like I was roll I played roller hockey verse, but when I was it when I was like in my like four or five years that I was like obsessed with it, I played every day. | ||
| I roller skated everywhere. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh wow. | |
| So you were with that guy out there roller skating on the streets. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Like a wow man. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, that's smart. | ||
| That's a great way to keep up those skills. | ||
| Like you're gonna have to walk anyway. | ||
| You already know how well you can skate. | ||
| Why not just skate there? | ||
| Yeah, it was kind of like skateboarding. | ||
| Like, why wouldn't I get there like t five times faster or whatever? | ||
| Did dudes try to knock you over ever. | ||
| When I played hockey? | ||
| No. | ||
| When you're skating by them. | ||
| You know? | ||
| You see a guy with roller skates on. | ||
| You're kind of kind of tempted to go fuck this guy. | ||
| I mean, I wasn't I I wasn't like it wasn't like roller skating like on Venice Beach, like with like my headphones and like you know. | ||
| I didn't look like you know a cornball. | ||
| I just you know some people they don't like people in roller skates. | ||
| Like some when I lived in California, uh motorcycles were allowed to split the lanes, you know. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, which is crazy. | ||
| It's really dangerous. | ||
| But if you have a motorcycle, you can get by in traffic when everybody else is fucked, you're zipping right through. | ||
| And I remember one time I watched this guy see this dude coming up beside us, and I moved to the left to give this guy a little room so he could pass, and the dude in front of me moved into the lane on purpose to stop this guy from passing him for no reason at all. | ||
| And that's gonna happen with that too. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| No, I don't I don't recall really. | ||
| It was good for my curfew, because I used to go to my my girlfriend's house, my dad was like, You have to be home by like 11. | ||
| And it was like probably like a couple of miles. | ||
| And so like that's a long time to be not running into any bullies. | ||
| Yeah, that's all that's okay. | ||
| Guys out there that would just make that decision, you know, fuck him, fucking knock him off. | ||
| I just used a lace them up and uh there was actually a huge hill, like half halfway there. | ||
| Like I got up to the top. | ||
| Yeah, I mean flying. | ||
| So I just stand. | ||
| And I'd be going like yeah, I'd probably be going like 30, 30 30 miles an hour. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| If I wiped out, it would have been bad. | ||
| But if someone pulled out, right? | ||
| Was there any cars that could have possibly it was a service road of a highway and it was late at night, so I wouldn't do it if there was cars. | ||
| You're doing it late at night on a service road or the highway. | ||
| You know how crazy that sounds. | ||
| Yeah, but uh but it wasn't that crazy. | ||
| It wasn't that crazy. | ||
| But I would get home in five minutes, whereas it normally would have taken me like fifteen minutes or getting a nice little workout. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I gave all that up. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I remember I when I got out like into the workforce, I was out of college, one of my buddies was like, You want to go shoot the puck around today? | ||
| I'm like, I haven't done it in like five or six years. | ||
| He's like, Let's go. | ||
| And we went and we went to like a little uh roller rink, that like a hockey rink there, and we we skated around for about I s must have been twenty minutes. | ||
| You know that burn that you get in your throat, like the tricky ass office when you haven't like maybe you don't because you haven't like you're you're consistently working out, but like when you're not in shape and then you try to play a sports thing and it just feels like your insides are on fire. | ||
| Have you felt that? | ||
| Not like that. | ||
| I know I've done I know what you're saying, though. | ||
| Like almost can't breathe. | ||
| So this is like you'd no cardio at all, no nothing. | ||
| Oh man, I feel like I have a heart attack. | ||
| You're doing that. | ||
| Out of like if just like maybe like five years removed. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, just five years of not working out at all, and then you try to skate, I would imagine. | ||
| Yeah, your body. | ||
| Unfortunately, your body will just fall into a state of disrepair. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Leave it alone. | ||
| It's like if you have a house, if you own a home, one of the things you find out as soon as you get your first home is ship breaks all the time. | ||
| There was always some fucking pipe that breaks, there's this that goes out, there's that that fucks up, the AC's broken. | ||
| There's always something. | ||
| You're always that's the same shit with your body. | ||
| It's the same shit. | ||
| And if you put it into a state of disrepair and you don't fix the AC, you don't fucking my pipes are bad. | ||
| The pipes are bad, you don't deal with it, you just let your house flood. | ||
| Like that's the problem. | ||
| The problem is we most of us, you know, are like bad landlords. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's me, man. | ||
| We're like slum lords. | ||
| We're slumlords for our body. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'm trying to change it. | ||
| No, you are changing it. | ||
| Don't say trying. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Trying makes it seem like you might quit. | ||
| You're not gonna quit. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| There you go. | ||
| He told me when I cause I'm gonna be here and I'm away from home the next week. | ||
| He's like, you gotta go at least three times and send me pictures of yourself. | ||
| We could work out here. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I got a gym right here. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, we're we can wear it after the show. | ||
| I wouldn't want to bring you down, bro. | ||
| No, we just have a little workout. | ||
| Just a little something. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| If you want to keep doing it, yeah. | ||
| If you want to keep it up while you're here, the the main thing about working out is momentum. | ||
| It's number one more than anything else is momentum. | ||
| And if you lose your momentum, then it's hard. | ||
| Hard to get going. | ||
| But once you get going, you get a couple of workouts in a row, you're like, ooh, uh, this is it. | ||
| I do it. | ||
| This is what I do. | ||
| Fuck yeah, we're doing it again. | ||
| Just don't kill yourself. | ||
| Don't get yourself to when you wake up, you're like, oh fuck. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| Ooh, and you're so sore, and you you're gonna go to the gym right now. | ||
| That's kind of stupid. | ||
| Yeah, you really shouldn't. | ||
| You shouldn't never don't you're not a pro athlete. | ||
| Don't get yourself to that spot. | ||
| But as long as you just keep doing it, that's the key. | ||
| It's just I think that's with almost everything in life. | ||
| That's what alcoholics say. | ||
| It's you know, one day uh at a time. | ||
| They just next day, next day, get some momentum. | ||
| Now I'm not drinking for two years. | ||
| Now I'm not drinking for five years. | ||
| I got all these coins and shit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's the same thing. | ||
| It's just like we we have to just make healthy patterns. | ||
| And you can do it. | ||
| You're doing it right now. | ||
| The next time I come back, I'll be like a pose off next time. | ||
| I'm not I'm just I'm just looking to live longer. | ||
| You know what looks good? | ||
| Shane. | ||
| See how big he got? | ||
| No. | ||
| Shane's been working out here. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, Shane has been working out like super regular. | ||
| He got really into working out. | ||
| We started doing these comedians workouts here, and then uh Shane Park thing. | ||
| Yeah, Shane got my friend Sean to start training him. | ||
| And Sean took a party. | ||
| Yeah, and so I haven't no, I haven't I talked to Shane yesterday, but I haven't seen him. | ||
| I I actually you know what's so funny? | ||
| The last picture I saw of him, like, or not the last picture, but recently I saw he was filming this that John Madden movie. | ||
| Oh, yeah, and that paparazzi took that photo of him in character with the mustache coming out of his track. | ||
| I haven't seen that. | ||
| He was an unflattering shot. | ||
| Like he's he's talked about it. | ||
| And that's so that's the last thing I like really saw on his you could probably pull that you could probably it's pretty freaking funny. | ||
| You could see he locks eyes with the photographer just as he's coming out, and it's like he's already meant to look, I think frumpy from the character. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| That's awesome. | ||
| That he's gonna be John Madden. | ||
| He'd be perfect. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Well, he first I don't think he's mad. | |
| Is he Madden? | ||
| No, I don't think he's Madden. | ||
| Who is he supposed to be? | ||
| He's just someone in the Madden universe. | ||
| Oh, Nick Cage is John Madden. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa, which I can't see at all. | |
| Oh, really? | ||
| Oh, whoa, dude, is there a photo of Nicholas Cage as John Madden? | ||
| I want to see that. | ||
| Oh, that's young John Madden. | ||
| Well, that that's Nicholas Cage. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, that's oh, the hair does look like Madden's hair. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, but they did something to his face. | |
| No, they did a little something to his face. | ||
| They did a little something. | ||
| Wait, wait, didn't they? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wait, no, how funny is it though that he looked in shame and said that he was John Madden. | |
| I thought he was John Maddox. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I thought he was John Madden! | |
| He could pass for him. | ||
| He could pass. | ||
| Guess what? | ||
| When I when I first clicked on it, I was like, Shane's John. | ||
| I said this, I said this. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| Oh, there it is. | ||
| Oh, yeah, they definitely did some stuff to him. | ||
| They did some stuff to him. | ||
| Yeah, he's got like a face thing on. | ||
| Wow, that's crazy. | ||
| He looks like a man. | ||
| Like even the body, they got the body right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| That's nuts. | ||
| Christian Bale. | ||
| Whoa, is that Christian Bale? | ||
| That's Christian Bale? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's nuts. | ||
| That guy's a fucking chameleon. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Yeah, that'll be sick. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Biopics, man. | ||
| Oh wow. | ||
| That's cool. | ||
| Um, what were we just talking about? | ||
| We're talking about guys getting oh the Shane got big. | ||
| Got stout. | ||
| I've he must be putting in work then. | ||
| Because I'm I'm also like only doing it three days a week. | ||
| So because I just started and I don't want to like, you know I don't know if he's been on it recently because he just did he's about to do tires again. | ||
| He's like, you know, the boy's busy. | ||
| I know. | ||
| Fell's busy. | ||
| I know every time I'm gonna go. | ||
| I know. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| Love to see it. | ||
| He's the man. | ||
| I uh you know what I got shit for after the last time I was on? | ||
| What? | ||
| I uh I so many people came up to me after the last time I was like, dude, I I saw you know the Rogan episode and you didn't finish a story. | ||
| And I'm I'm the amount of people that said this to me. | ||
| I must have been like, yeah. | ||
| I I started to tell you a story about an experience I had, I think, with a ghost because I never I didn't believe in ghosts. | ||
| And I start I guess I started to tell and didn't finish it. | ||
| Can I tell you the amount of people that can't think it's like what the fuck, man? | ||
| You can't start well you can't just start it from the end though. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I know you're gonna have to start anyway, so tell the beginning of the story. | |
| Retell the beginning of the story, because otherwise people are gonna go, what the fuck is he talking about? | ||
| Then they'll have to go back and listen to the whole podcast. | ||
| So many people though that I finally I was like, I probably I swear to God, if I go back on, I will bring it up and I'll try to retell the guy. | ||
| Let's retell the story. | ||
| I but I I just I'm doing this for them. | ||
| I just I don't know if how great the story is. | ||
| I so we would talk, I was saying how I just I don't believe in them, but I had this experience, I don't know what to make of it. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Okay, so I was I lived alone at the time, and I I um when I go to sleep at night, I lock my I lock my uh my bedroom door. | ||
| It's just something I do. | ||
| So I locked my door, and uh I was laying in bed and I had the television on, and a lot of times I'll put the TV on mute, but keep the TV on when I fall asleep. | ||
| Something I do. | ||
| So I was telling you how because I sleep with a CPAP machine, how I would wrap myself up in a cocoon because I had an air source. | ||
| So I I like it's like a sarcophagus. | ||
| I like put everything over my head. | ||
| And I tuck in my feet, my and I put my like I swear you just see a tube coming out. | ||
| Oh it's it's amazing. | ||
| It's like the sensory deprivation things, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right, okay. | |
| That's what it's like. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| So I got used to that. | ||
| So anyway, I had just I was wide awake. | ||
| I just muted my television, and I wrapped myself up like a fucking burrito, and I had the C Pap on. | ||
| I'm laying there, and I always stick like one foot or one hand out. | ||
| It's just a nice cool breeze. | ||
| It's like a fun little thing to do when you're wrapped up like that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| And I had my hand out. | ||
| So this was out. | ||
| And I'm just laying there, and I thought I heard something or somebody. | ||
| I don't know if it was talking or I heard what I thought was like the door open, I suppose. | ||
| Like again, wasn't asleep. | ||
| That I wasn't asleep. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I was just I was just about to fall asleep. | |
| I wouldn't even like I just laying. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| Sure, yeah, yeah. | ||
| But I didn't sleep and wake up or nothing like that. | ||
| And I wasn't, it wasn't, I wasn't laying in there 20 minutes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| It wasn't like that. | ||
| And I I'm laying there and I heard walking or the door or something. | ||
| And so I listened more intently. | ||
| And I I didn't hear anything again, and then all of a sudden I felt I don't know if it's a hand, whatever you want to call it, pressure. | ||
| Squeeze, oh, right here on my hand. | ||
| Right? | ||
| I just I just felt my hand get squeezed. | ||
| And I what's going on in my mind is I thought there was an intruder in the house initially, right? | ||
| So like an intruder came in the house, and I know I'm feeling this. | ||
| I'm like, I'm this all happened in seconds, but I'm thinking, okay, I heard something, now this pressure on my hand, and it went tighter and tighter. | ||
| And I'm like, someone is squeezing my hand right now. | ||
| I have to act like I'm not feeling this because I don't know what's about to happen. | ||
| But then I started in the same vein, I'm like, if this was a home intruder, why would they do this? | ||
| It doesn't make any sense to me. | ||
| Like, so aren't they gonna wake me up? | ||
| Like, wouldn't they try to get in and out? | ||
| I'm thinking of this in a split second. | ||
| And the pressure is such that it actually begins to hurt, not hurt, like I'll get off, but like, oh, that's squeezing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| You know what I mean? | ||
| And I'm like, all right, I am going to have to jump up and fight right now or something. | ||
| Something's happening here. | ||
| And I said, Are you awake? | ||
| Are you awake? | ||
| And I'm I'm like, I'm I'm I'm literally I'm awake. | ||
| I'm awake right now. | ||
| I'm laying here, I'm looking, I'm feeling my hand. | ||
| I am fully awake. | ||
| And I was like, I feel like I either have to count to three, jump up and get ready to fight, or I could I'm vulnerable and I don't know what's gonna happen to me. | ||
| I might just take charge of the situation, whatever I can. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| And I just took a breath and I was like, all right, here I go. | ||
| And I and I uh did they let go? | ||
| They let go. | ||
| I felt the pressure release off my hand. | ||
| And so that's when I was like laying there with it limp, and I was like, I'm gonna jump up right now, and I'll just whatever happens, happens. | ||
| And it was like nerve-wracking. | ||
| And I just jumped up in my bed, up so I was standing on the bed. | ||
| I like threw the things off, and I just like was ready to write, and there was nothing there on my door. | ||
| How long was something squeezing your hand for? | ||
| Um I'll say less than 10 seconds. | ||
| That's a long time. | ||
| Yeah, maybe Yeah, maybe like 10 seconds. | ||
| Because it was first it was on me, and then it was more pressure, and then more pressure, and then let go. | ||
| And then when I jumped up, no one in my room, door locked. | ||
| And so, and I was like, I'm up. | ||
| I was up. | ||
| I was just up. | ||
| I'm not like sleeping. | ||
| And it freaked me out. | ||
| I turned every light on, opened my door, walked around the house. | ||
| I almost like I was like, Do I leave? | ||
| Like maybe the aliens thought you were trying to kill yourself. | ||
| What? | ||
| Maybe the aliens. | ||
| Maybe maybe that's what it was. | ||
| Maybe it was an alien came down like, hey buddy, you wouldn't have to be a little bit more. | ||
| Because I was wrapped up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Because I was wrapped up. | |
| You're wrapped up with a tube coming out. | ||
| I was like, this guy might be off on himself. | ||
| We've never seen this before. | ||
| I want an explanation. | ||
| They're like when the people sleep, they never sleep with their head covered. | ||
| We need to get in. | ||
| And they just went in and just grab his hand. | ||
| We need Sal to stay alive. | ||
| It definitely looks weird from the outside when I sleep. | ||
| Like if you saw a picture of it, it looks like what the fuck's going on? | ||
| Shane was telling us a story the other night about how he had like a like you know they talk about like sleep paralysis demons. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| He had an experience. | ||
| He had an experience of like a thing standing over his bed with like a white face. | ||
| Like uh and he couldn't move. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| And I go, dude. | ||
|
unidentified
|
How many documents by an lion? | |
| No, he said he was sober. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| He was younger. | ||
| Yeah, he was like, I think he said he was 23 or 24 when it happened. | ||
| Yeah, okay. | ||
| So I go, dude, you got abducted. | ||
| I think the aliens came. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh sh. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think that's what he was seeing. | ||
| I think he was waking up from it, and there was one right there. | ||
| And they had him paralyzed. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I don't know why I was. | ||
| Why an alien would be in my bedroom. | ||
| Well, I think there's aliens that monitor a lot of people if they're real. | ||
| And there's a lot of stories. | ||
| How'd they get in though? | ||
| Because that little thing is. | ||
| They can just close them. | ||
| They can just appear. | ||
| They go through right through walls, apparently. | ||
| Doesn't matter. | ||
| I think if they've let if they've reached a level of technological superiority where they could travel instantaneously through vast distances in space, which is what they think they're able to do, like able to bend gravity and just and just like reappear on the other side, they just go right through your wall, bro. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| Why are they playing with my fingers? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Because they like you. | |
| They're bending time and space. | ||
| They're traveling at they get to my my little one-bedroom apartment and they stand in there and uh and watch me with my CPAP and then squeeze my three fingers. | ||
| Maybe they like your sense of humor. | ||
| And they would like you to stay around and they think you're a positive contribution to the culture. | ||
| And they don't want to mess up the delicate balance of the human race. | ||
| They need more funny people. | ||
| Maybe that's it. | ||
| It makes no sense though, right? | ||
| Of course it doesn't make sense. | ||
| UFOs don't make sense. | ||
| Aliens don't make sense. | ||
| I don't mean the ghosts don't make sense either. | ||
| I don't mean someone grabbing your hand doesn't make sense. | ||
| No, it doesn't make sense. | ||
| But I but I I it it just It sucks that I'll never have an answer. | ||
| Well, it could have been just a spasm. | ||
| And one thing that could happen is your hand could have locked up for whatever weird reason because it happens all the time. | ||
| It could happen with your foot, it could happen with the leg. | ||
| Whatever it feels like to be locked up. | ||
| This this felt as as pure as can be like a hand like this doing this. | ||
| You ever be watching TV with your wife and and you start snoring and she goes, Are you asleep? | ||
| And you're like, No. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| But you really were. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Do you think maybe you thought you were awake, but you were like right there. | ||
| I mean, you're in the only explanation I got. | ||
| You got a tube in your mouth. | ||
| You get the CPAP, you're wrapped up like a mummy. | ||
| And then something's grabbing your hand. | ||
| Maybe you're dreaming. | ||
| That thing would have been scared, probably scared when I jumped out with the mask on like aliens. | ||
| But but but here's the thing. | ||
| I really took inventory before I jumped up to fight. | ||
| Like I was like, I am awake. | ||
| I am feeling this. | ||
| I am not sleeping. | ||
| I know I'll feel the pressure on your hands. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Like I was saying to myself, I'm one you are 100% awake. | ||
| Like this is happening to you right now. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| Aliens. | ||
| Yeah, fucking what? | ||
| Aliens or ghosts. | ||
| Um ghosts is what I thought, but what's the point? | ||
| Well, ghosts seem to be in places where people die violently. | ||
| Um like the comedy store is a good example of that. | ||
| The comedy store used to be Ciro's nightclub. | ||
| So it was owned by Bugsy Siegel. | ||
| So for sure. | ||
| Somebody got whacked. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whacked. | |
| Somebody got whacked. | ||
| And uh you know, there's also talk that like they use the basement to do illegal abortions. | ||
| It's like there's a lot of like folklore around that place because it was a mob run nightclub. | ||
| Stage. | ||
| But so many people that work there over the years that I was there. | ||
| So many people that like people that were like late-night bartenders or uh the security had experience. | ||
| Yeah, they all had weird a few comics, a few comics that were like reliable, reasonable people had bizarre experiences. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Carl Abeau was asleep on stage, and He said he he got kicked out of his house. | ||
| Him and his wife got in a fight. | ||
| Fuck you, I'm gonna make it. | ||
| You know, goes his girlfriend at the time, I think. | ||
| I don't even think it was the same person. | ||
| But anyway, he's at the comedy store sleeping on the stage, and he hears the seats clink around in the dark, like something's moving the seats. | ||
| And he goes, Hey, it's uh it's me, Carl. | ||
| I got kicked out of my house, so I'm just sleeping on the stage. | ||
| He doesn't hear anything. | ||
| And then all of a sudden, something grabs his ankle and drags him off the stage onto the floor and starts pulling him through the crowd and then just lets go. | ||
| And then he hears a door slam and then another door slam on the outside, and he's laying in the middle of the comedy store main room. | ||
| There's no people there. | ||
| He has no idea what the fuck happened. | ||
| He didn't see anything. | ||
| He just felt something grab him and drag him off the stage and into the crowd. | ||
| And he never he wasn't like a guy who'd made things up. | ||
| Right. | ||
| He didn't have any other stories like that. | ||
| But it's not like a one of the workers or another comic fucking with him. | ||
| No, I don't think so. | ||
| No, I don't think so. | ||
| They would have definitely told him after a while. | ||
| And also I don't think so because he didn't see them. | ||
| Like it he was like, I didn't see anyone grab me. | ||
| He's like, it's dark in there, but it's not perfect darkness. | ||
| Right. | ||
| He's like, I didn't see whatever grabbed me and pulled me off the stage. | ||
| It's like maybe they didn't like someone staying the night there. | ||
| Maybe that's their time. | ||
| Like you want to do all your bullshit during the day with your bookkeeping, and then at night time with your stupid jokes. | ||
| But once you guys leave, it becomes the ocean. | ||
| It's mine. | ||
| Yeah, it becomes the ocean. | ||
| It gets dark. | ||
| You just get to see a place where a bunch of people died. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's a lot of suicide there, right? | ||
| At the store? | ||
| No, there was just one. | ||
| That store at the hotel next to the club. | ||
| The guy jumped off the roof. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, that was during the the days where the comics weren't making any money. | ||
| So what is this? | ||
| The comedy store popular nightclub. | ||
| So what does it say? | ||
| One of the snaziest, schnazziest nightclubs during the 40s and the 50s, built by nightclub impresario William Wilkerson in the late 1930s, Cyros offered top entertainment, a swanky hangout for Hollywood stars and other high profile people, including gangster Mickey Cohen, who used the club as his base of operations and had peepholes drills into walls so he could see who was coming and going. | ||
| While dancing, drinking, and dining went up on upstairs, Ciro's basement with the site of darker doings. | ||
| Mob henchmen beat, tortured, and killed those who did not repay debts, owned uh competing clubs, betrayed trusts, or crossed the mob in some way. | ||
| Pregnant showgirls and mob girlfriends received illegal abortions with at least one woman dying from her abortion. | ||
| Wait staff, security guards, and office workers are reported seeing a frightened man in a World War II bomber jacket who fades upon sighting. | ||
| What a f a huge black phantom in the basement and a man in his 1940s garb walking around the premises and through walls. | ||
| They have heard a woman wailing in the basement when no one was there, have experienced strange pranks such as chairs stacking themselves in the in the middle of the stage and perfectly set tables becoming unset. | ||
| Yeah, everybody that I knew that worked there for a long period of time had something weird happen. | ||
| A few guys saw things. | ||
| Like one of the guys, I forget his name, man. | ||
| It was like an old school comic that was hanging around there. | ||
| Said that one night when he was a doorman, he was going into the back bar area. | ||
| And some guy, he saw some guy walk through the swinging doors. | ||
| Um, you know, because there's like two sets of swinging doors. | ||
| So he walks in, and as he's walking in, he sees this guy go through the other set. | ||
| He's like, Hey, uh, we're closed, and he goes out into the hallway, dead empty. | ||
| I mean, instantaneously goes from seeing the guy walk through to hey man, we're closed. | ||
| There's a long hallway, and there's no one. | ||
| No no no one ran, no one nothing. | ||
| He's like, dude, I saw a guy. | ||
| He he pushed open the fucking the saloon doors. | ||
| And it's not just him. | ||
| Multiple people have had weird stories like that. | ||
| And I always wonder like if someone dies in some horrific way like that, that's like very violent, maybe it leaves like a memory. | ||
| Maybe it leaves like a stain of what you know the universe force, the peace love force of the universe is so disrupted by this vile act that it leaves this like a yeah, this haunted memory that exists in the space. | ||
| Because like they have to tell you if someone was murdered in a house. | ||
| They do? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, I didn't know that. | ||
| I think there's a timeline. | ||
| You know, like you can't say. | ||
| 1920, someone was murdered. | ||
| Because someone was murdered at our club. | ||
| Someone was murdered in our club in the 70s. | ||
| No shit. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I forget the story. | ||
| But the point is, like, if you buy a house, like they have to tell you. | ||
| They have to disclose it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Not every state. | ||
| Not every state? | ||
| Some states California does, but Texas, it says it does not. | ||
| We don't believe in that down here. | ||
| We'll just bring in Jesus. | ||
| I'm doing this bit because my um many states, there's no duty to disclose a death. | ||
| Oh, so it's only California and Alaska. | ||
| What states make you? | ||
| Texas and Florida, you do not have to have a general duty for deaths unrelated to the property's condition. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What if like a wall was splattered? | |
| What if it's like how many states uh make you tell? | ||
| Those are the ones that believe in crystals. | ||
| Right? | ||
| California, right? | ||
| Doesn't it? | ||
| Doesn't it make sense? | ||
| Uh Alaska, California, and South Dakota. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| That's in the States. | ||
| That's nuts. | ||
| So it's there's just a timeline too. | ||
| Oh, in California three years, and in South Dakota, they 12 months get over it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
12 months. | |
| That's so good. | ||
| Alaska says just within the past year. | ||
| Oh, a suicide too in Alaska. | ||
| What is the point of the 12 months? | ||
| Get over it. | ||
| Like who's who's putting that in? | ||
| Life moves on, Sal. | ||
| We don't have to. | ||
| We don't have to let you know if it's more than twelve months ago. | ||
| That's actually shocking. | ||
| I would have thought it would have been way more than that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's crazy. | |
| That's crazy. | ||
| That it really is. | ||
| I have a I just recently um when uh my wife was not home for a few days, and I and uh when we were having the baby and everything, and uh I had to come home because I had work and I had to take care of my other daughter and stuff, and I was never in bed without my wife there. | ||
| Like I just it was the first time I was like laying in bed with her. | ||
| Oh, and that's when they come get you. | ||
| That's when they got you, right? | ||
| Yeah, of course. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Yeah, because she can't defend you. | ||
| Right, exactly. | ||
| No, do it. | ||
| This is a a new bit I'm doing based on something that happened to us. | ||
| So uh, you know, she sh I'm on the road now, like all the time for comedy. | ||
| So she experiences that, but I don't, and I was like, oh, this is I feel vulnerable. | ||
| Like, like what if like I'm thinking, what if some an intruder or a killer or something like that, you know? | ||
| Right. | ||
| So I'm thinking to myself, well, she's what's she c what's she gonna do if she's here? | ||
| She's not gonna do anything. | ||
| Like I and I started to think, well, oh my her being home is just a false, it's a the illusion of security for me. | ||
| She might yell, alert me to the to the killer. | ||
| Just you need one extra second. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Get your shit together. | ||
| She might yell, alert me that that could help, or the killer might kill her and be and I get away. | ||
| I don't want that to happen, but that's just like what it could happen right now. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| She's not there. | ||
| I'm like, I need I need something in this house. | ||
| I I don't have anything. | ||
| So I didn't think anything of this, but I I am as I Amazon primed the machete to the house, right? | ||
| So it came the next day. | ||
| She didn't come home until three days later. | ||
| So I had the machete in the house now. | ||
| Like I felt better, but I wasn't gonna get a gun. | ||
| I just, you know, whatever. | ||
| I I think I I couldn't get a gun that quick anyway, right? | ||
| So I don't even know if it's le whatever. | ||
| So I get this machete, I have it in the we have the king-sized bed, it's a split king. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So I had it like in the crack of the bed. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| So when she came home three days later, she got home at night. | ||
| She hadn't been home in like six days. | ||
| She took a shower, she had major surgery, she was healing us, she just got in bed, and it was already late at night, and so I was in bed, and like we went in bed with her, and we shut the lights and I was laying out. | ||
| I forgot that I I I didn't tell her that I owned a machete. | ||
| I forgot that it was in between the bed. | ||
| So she so she felt it, and and she's like, What is this? | ||
| And I just was like I knew she wasn't gonna be happy about it, because I can't so it's just like you know, that's our machete. | ||
| We got we got we got a machete at Amazon Prime the machete, and she's like, you're not keeping the machete. | ||
| Long story short, my m what I was when I was laying there without her for a few days, I was like, this is not a good weapon because I'm gonna end up if an intruder comes, I'm gonna machete them, and then I we can't live here anymore. | ||
| You have to move. | ||
| Yeah, you have to move. | ||
| If you get into a machete fight with someone and you you you chop them up, you have to move right away. | ||
| Pretty much. | ||
| You don't even stay. | ||
| Never mind things. | ||
| You don't clean up. | ||
| You don't stay the next day. | ||
| And so I already started thinking, well, how do I sell this house then? | ||
| If I'm machete, like if I'm if I hit someone with a machete in here, they die right here. | ||
| That's bad for the listing. | ||
| But I don't have to disclose it now. | ||
| Now that I learned I don't have to disclose it. | ||
| Because I was like having an internal conflict. | ||
| Just hold on to it for a year. | ||
| Or do it one of those things. | ||
| In New York, you don't have to tell anybody anything, right? | ||
| Is that what it said? | ||
| Yeah, that's what I'm saying. | ||
|
unidentified
|
So what would the story I was worried about? | |
| Oh, you gotta disclose it's like, are you a cop? | ||
| That's good, are you a cop? | ||
| People thought that was real. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That is the dirtiest trick they ever pulled in the show. | |
| No. | ||
| You know if you machete someone, you have to tell us. | ||
| Oh you got me. | ||
| I'm an undercover cop. | ||
| Yeah, that's funny, man. | ||
| It is funny when you really stop and think about it, because like that's such a crazy idea. | ||
| That you have to. | ||
| That you have to tell them. | ||
| Well, they don't they lie about everything. | ||
| Like uh guys that infiltrate the mob, you know, like those kind of guys. | ||
| Imagine if you have to tell. | ||
| Are you an undercover cop? | ||
| That's so funny. | ||
| Well, you got me. | ||
| That that blows deep cover. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's like Joe Pistone. | |
| I had Joe Pastone on the podcast. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Did you? | |
| Yeah, yeah, recently. | ||
| He's he's amazing. | ||
| He's he's 18 months in deep undercover, and one of the guys like, are you a cop? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Oh, because if you say no, and you really are, the case gets thrown out. | ||
| Could you imagine? | ||
| Imagine that's the rule. | ||
| That's the dumbest rule ever. | ||
| Some type of like lore or something like that. | ||
| Yeah, just like some thing they probably did on a TV show. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| You know, you gotta tell you. | ||
| And people believed that. | ||
| When I was a kid, I remember people saying that. | ||
| If you're buying weed and the guy says that he's a cop, yeah, he can't. | ||
| Everyone wrestled you. | ||
| I gotta ask him. | ||
| Same. | ||
| It's bullshit. | ||
| Complete bullshit. | ||
| Complete made-up stuff. | ||
| But those that's just one of those things you would hear when you were a kid. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You know? | ||
| Before the internet. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You didn't get a chance because we just checked to see the truth. | |
| I thought it was real. | ||
| Like I I felt not that I was doing anything that would have warranted me having to ask, but like I did feel like a sense of like, I got something in my back pocket. | ||
| If if something's like, if I don't know, you know, like if I'm dr if I'm at a party underage drinking, and like, you know, you might be able to pull that out and rescue yourself. | ||
| Oh, you got me. | ||
| Get out of here, kid. | ||
| The best is the follow-up where if if the cop says no and everyone's like, you know, you have to tell me if you are. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like, like then the cop came, oh okay, fine, fine, fine, fine. | |
| I forgot I had to tell you. | ||
| I forgot. | ||
| What's the origin of that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| That's so do you think that was like uh a television show or a movie or something? | ||
| I bet it was. | ||
| I bet it was like a tool that they used in a television, or maybe it was like a CIA op to get people to think that they would be able to use that anytime so they don't worry about doing illegal shit. | ||
| Psyops feel like the good answer for everything. | ||
| It does. | ||
| Although it's probably an episode of like Matlock or something like that. | ||
| Psyops also account for your hand grip. | ||
| Somebody gripping your hand. | ||
| There's some remote viewer reached out in some CIA basement, fucking focused on your hand and squeezed it. | ||
| Do you know I only learned what Psyop? | ||
| I only learned the term Psyop with the drones recently. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| Yeah, I didn't I never heard of that. | ||
| Oh, that's crazy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You you never heard of psychological operations that are done on not just this civilization, but others. | ||
| No, I never heard I mean at least framed as a psyop. | ||
| And then I was like, what is that? | ||
| And I was like, you know, because with the drones, man, I was if that was a psyop, I was fully psyoped. | ||
| Well, I don't know what that was. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Because they were gonna tell us, supposedly, and then they kind of just didn't. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But no, I was waiting every day. | ||
| Trump was like, I'm gonna come when I'm in, I'm gonna give you the full download immediately. | ||
| It's ridiculous. | ||
| I'll let you guys know what's going on specifically. | ||
| And then it was it was he said someone he didn't then he never addressed, then someone else said to him, like, hey, what was going on with those drones? | ||
| Remember you gonna tell us? | ||
| And he was like, they're ours. | ||
| And that's all he said. | ||
| That was like that was like five weeks of I was watching drones outside outside my window every night. | ||
| I had I would have fucking binoculars. | ||
| Like my wife's like, go to bed, you're gonna drive yourself crazy. | ||
| I'm like, there's this 12 drones outside right now. | ||
| Yeah, you can't discount the idea that they're not telling you the truth. | ||
| But they might have been ours too. | ||
| That's the problem. | ||
| It might have been someone else's. | ||
| That doesn't mean anything. | ||
| Yeah, but it doesn't mean it. | ||
| But it's weird how the administration before him refused to say anything and let it get to a fever pitch where people started to feel like completely like not that I don't trust the government already, but like it's it got to a point where I was like, This is how are they allowed to just tell us, oh, you're not seeing it's there that's not what you're seeing. | ||
| Like it just was like I it was I was getting like really because now you know you think differently with kids and stuff like that. | ||
| I'm like, what's going on here? | ||
| I started like uh I started Amazoning like dry foods and like survival manuals and stuff. | ||
| I'm like, what is are we gonna go to war? | ||
| Like what is going on? | ||
| So there's a bunch of different possibilities, right? | ||
| And all of them they don't have to be truthful about it, nor would they be thi if it's a national security issue, it'd probably be better if they weren't truthful because people would freak out. | ||
| It's also the potential that they are ours and w they did them on purpose to see how people would respond. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So that's possible too. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| That I think it's also possible that they're not ours and there's someone else who's flexing on us and they're doing it in a way where they're showing you we have technological superiority, our our stuff is way more advanced than yours. | ||
| And if there would be a culprit in that regard, in my mind it would be China. | ||
| China, right. | ||
| That's what I thought at first. | ||
| China is so far ahead of the United States in drone technology. | ||
| They're so far the United States in electric car technology. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like they're doing some wild stuff over there. | ||
| They they make I mean, at least Taiwan does, makes all the semiconductor chips or a lot of them. | ||
| There's a lot of electronics that are being manufactured over there. | ||
| They're a very high level of sophistication for their engineering and all the design and all the stuff they're doing. | ||
| They're they're doing some I don't think they're light years. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Singapore light years ahead of us. | ||
| I think we're sleeping on how far advanced they are with certain stuff. | ||
| They do drone shows that will fucking blow you away. | ||
| They have synchronized drones that do like stories in the sky. | ||
| Have you ever seen them? | ||
| The Chinese drone shows? | ||
| I've seen like just light drone shows here where they're like they form like an image or something like that. | ||
| See, this is the thing about regulations. | ||
| Regulations are good. | ||
| You don't want a bunch of drones flying around slamming into planes. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But the problem is if you only allow someone to fly these very sophisticated drones if they have a pilot's license, and then you regulate everything the way they do in America, and then you say you can't make this and you can't make that, and we can't have this and you can't have that, you're stifling innovation while in China they're going hog wild. | ||
| So they're not even thinking about regulating. | ||
| They're making the best stuff they can make all the time, and they have the best minds that they can have working on them. | ||
| Because they have to. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Go f make me a fucking drone army. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Jamie, pull up like the dragon one when they had the dragon in the sky. | ||
| Dude, their shit is so far beyond what we're doing. | ||
| I know. | ||
| And that's why I thought and there was out there that that was them, and that was easily be that. | ||
| But then Trump was just like, yeah, it's just us. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's us. | |
| Maybe that's what you have to say because if you say that China's flexing on us, oh my god. | ||
| Yeah, dude. | ||
| Like they Oh my God. | ||
| They have insane, and this isn't even the craziest one. | ||
| They have other ones that are even crazier. | ||
| Like these things are nuts. | ||
| Oh my god, that's that's all independently flown. | ||
| Like every single one of those lights is. | ||
| Every single one of those is independent, they're all different drones, and they all are moving to the sink of some program they created. | ||
| Oh my gosh. | ||
| It's unbelievable, man. | ||
| And that's just the pretty stuff, right? | ||
| Now imagine if they're doing that, what kind of military stuff do they have? | ||
| What kind of stuff did they have that can block signals? | ||
| What kind of stuff that they have that maybe has some sort of a novel power source or a novel battery supply. | ||
| Right. | ||
| My friend saw one of them that just hovered overhead. | ||
| He said this thing just hovered. | ||
| He said it was as as big as a fucking school bus and it was just hovering above his head. | ||
| In New Jersey. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And he was like, What the fuck? | |
| They were like the size of like cars. | ||
| He said it wasn't a helicopter, it wasn't loud. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Then it took off, and some of them they said when they were going after them, they shut their lights off and evaded pursuits. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| They put jamming signals out so you you could you couldn't find their location. | ||
| They were doing weird stuff. | ||
| So if that is ours, then they're trying like look, if you're gonna do a real military exercise, that's how you would do it. | ||
| If you're gonna if you you're gonna say, okay, we're gonna we're gonna plan this out, but we're not gonna let the pilots know what's going on. | ||
| We're gonna start flying these things over and seeing how these jets interact with them in a real world environment. | ||
| Tell them not to shoot, give very distinct orders, not to be shot down. | ||
| Let's see how good they are at finding them, tracking them. | ||
| Let's like pressure test the system. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So I if they're ours, I would say that would be a good way to do it. | ||
| I mean it seems a little unethical. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But you also get two things at the same time. | ||
| You get the little psychological thing where you get to see how bad people freak out. | ||
| Some people might freak out. | ||
| Please look at my phone. | ||
| Do whatever you want. | ||
| Set an Alexa in my toilet. | ||
| Do whatever you want. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Just protect me from the drones. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So you can find out how people react to the UFO craze. | ||
| And then you can also find out how well our drones are at evading modern warplanes. | ||
| Alexa in the toilet's not a bad idea as well. | ||
| Don't tell yourself sure. | ||
| You're going to have robots in your house that talk to you all day and and report what you say to the government. | ||
| I do that now. | ||
| I do that now. | ||
| I I finally did chat G I did chat I was telling you I did chat GPT finally. | ||
| I was like I'm not going to do this. | ||
| I'm not going to do this. | ||
| I really don't want to do this and I was like I don't also don't want to be left behind. | ||
| Like if this can like you know so it's going to be inevitable. | ||
| And it's it's not just going to be inevitable. | ||
| I mean there's going to be versions of it that are gonna achieve things that you the greatest human minds couldn't even believe couldn't even believe would be possible within our lifetime. | ||
| That's what I think. | ||
| I think it's going to get to a point when they have artificial general superintelligence and it's what is it eight twenty forty nine what when the what's the year they think it's going to achieve like it's peak intelligence. | ||
| There's like estimations like a lot of these guys they point is it 2045 or 2049 there's like the Kurzweil guys didn't the because that was that conference that Ari and I and uh Duncan went to back in the day. | ||
| That was Kurzweil's thing I think it was 2049. | ||
| So if at 2049 like what is the AI look like then it's like some super creature some new type of life form you know some new super intelligent thing that we made and went finally they go finally you guys made it 2040 and 2050 with some placing a 50% probability around this time frame. | ||
| Predictions range widely with some entrepreneurs and AI leaders being more optimistic suggesting dates in the 2030s or even late 2020s while others expect it closer to mid century or later. | ||
| Wow nah that's scary now I just talk I I pay the 20 bucks and I I uh I named I asked the I gave her a female voice or whatever. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| This is fun though. | ||
| I mean at least I'll have fun while I can with it and I just said uh I said what's your name and she said just chat no just chat GPT I'm like no baby you can have it. | ||
| Can I call you st can I call you stank ass. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| I just, just off the top. | ||
| I was like, I'll call you Stankass. | ||
| And she was like, I see, she goes, ah, it's a bit crass, but I, I, I get why it's funny. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| So I was like, cool. | ||
| Can you just call me big pimpin whenever you talk to me? | ||
| And she's like, all right. | ||
| And I was like, and whenever we speak, no matter what I'm asking, can you please speak in nineties hip hop vernacular? | ||
| And she's like, yeah. | ||
| So now that's just how like if I'll ask her something, she's like, yo, what up big pimpin? | ||
|
unidentified
|
She's like, let me get you that, you know, let me get you those, uh, whatever. | |
| me find you a hydration tablet that's in the you know check it out do you know how many guys are doing that what you know how many guys are like falling in love with girls that they have AI girlfriends that's that's and I mean that's yeah that's fucked up but that's there's no doubt that's gonna happen. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hey Snakes you there Yo big pimpin I'm right here vibing with you what you need just hit me up and we'll keep it all hip hop and smooth legal that's so funny. | |
| That's as far as I guess now and that's gonna be a person in your house. | ||
| One day that's gonna be a person in your house a really hot one in like a maid's outfit. | ||
| Not if I have anything to do with it not you but some guy out there listening he's gonna be talking to big pimp and we're we're gonna be in the Matrix in five years. | ||
| Every time I come I can't leave here with a full blown new set of anxieties. | ||
| I can't do that. | ||
| You're gonna need them. | ||
| You're gonna need those anxieties for when society falls I can't you're gonna need to learn to use that bow and arrow I can't instead of this gym how about instead of the gym you just didn't take me just a little bow and our practice just a little bit. | ||
| Well just give me just give me enough like if someone's running on my lawn I could just take them out there's no such thing as a little show how to do it once but if you want to learn like a traditional bow and arrow setup I'm not the guy to do that. | ||
| Because the machete's not going to go that machete also the grip I don't like how close it is to the blade I don't like I don't like that either, yeah. | ||
| I don't like that. | ||
| Although I did watch two guys in a machete fight in the streets, and one guy chopped the other guy's hand off, and the other guy picked his hand up and left. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, that's on uh Instagram. | ||
| Tom Scura sent me that one. | ||
| He picked it up and left. | ||
| Chopped his fucking hand right off, and that dude looked down, grabbed his hand and left. | ||
| He's like, I guess this fight's over. | ||
| I just lost a hand. | ||
| Let me pick up my hand and fucking ski battle. | ||
| I mean, what do you think there? | ||
| I mean, I I guess this is better than dying. | ||
| I guess. | ||
| He took the hand. | ||
| He's optimistic. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, maybe they could stitch it back on. | ||
| Your hand gets chopped off. | ||
| You don't run, you get the hand. | ||
| Let's talk about the caliber of doctors available in a place where you can get your hand chopped off in a machete fight in the street. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Right in front of a taco vendor. | ||
| The veterinarian. | ||
| You gotta find a white. | ||
| Don't play it. | ||
| Don't play it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Play it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Um I watch the son of a bitch. | |
| Oh my god. | ||
| Yeah, dude. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh my god, dude. | |
| See, that guy already doesn't have a hand. | ||
| See? | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| No, I don't see, and I don't want to see. | ||
| See how he runs off? | ||
| He's missing his fucking hand. | ||
| He's like, I said unleaded. | ||
| Bro, those guys hacked each other apart with machetes. | ||
| So look, he's missing his fucking hand. | ||
| Look at him. | ||
| He's like, where's your hand? | ||
| Oh, it's over here, bro. | ||
| And so this dude runs over and picks up his fucking hand. | ||
| Fuck on runs over. | ||
| Oh my god, dude. | ||
| He grabs his hand. | ||
| Okay, we're done. | ||
| Please stop. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Please stop, Jamie. | ||
| Why, Jamie? | ||
| Why did you do that? | ||
| I mean, he had to be in shock, right? | ||
| Because he was he was he looked composed. | ||
| Or that happens normally in his neighborhood. | ||
| You know, probably a bunch of one-handed dudes out there running around. | ||
| How many times was that reattached before this? | ||
| No, he He strolled up to that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I know. | |
| He strolled up to it. | ||
| He had to be in shock. | ||
| That was the most non- It was like he was picking up a quarter. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's obviously not a healthy individual. | ||
| His life circumstances are not the best. | ||
| The two of them. | ||
| Yeah, it's nuts. | ||
| And it wasn't like they were in the jungle. | ||
| They were at a gas station. | ||
| Crazy decision to make. | ||
| What could they have been fighting over? | ||
| Probably a chick. | ||
| Just the first one. | ||
| No, don't show me any more, Jamie. | ||
| Not all video, but it talks about it happening in different places. | ||
| Of course it has. | ||
| I mean, imagine what life was like when people were sword fighting all the time. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That was a normal thing to carry around a sword everywhere. | ||
| A lot of people had no I bet there was a very common to see people without limbs. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Like a big thing. | ||
| He's missing half their face. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| What did they do back then? | ||
| Quarterize it or something? | ||
| Like how did they probably died. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, I bet he got infected. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, they didn't even know how to wash things back then. | ||
| So as soon as you you know, you get any kind of horrible injury, you're gonna get an infection. | ||
| I just learned how George Washington died. | ||
| Did you hear about this? | ||
| No. | ||
| Did you never heard about how he died? | ||
| It's pretty fucked up. | ||
| He caught a common cold and then thought that he needed to um he needed to get his blood sucked out of him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| And so he got people to put leeches on him. | ||
| And the leeches were just sucking the blood out of him, and it was like it was like a cold, and then he got infected, and he basically caught an emotion I guess he was he went out in the rain or something like that and got a cold, and then he it was a common cold and he put leeches on him, they sucked out his blood, and then he he was losing blood, and then he he he ended up doing more stuff to himself. | ||
| He basically killed himself. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jesus. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Just a common cold? | ||
| It was a cold. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I I I didn't know. | ||
| How did he know it's just a cold? | ||
| I just long ass time ago. | ||
| Yeah, well uh that's what the research says. | ||
| I mean, because on the show we made uh my buddy um Maybe this is the anti-leech lobby. | ||
| We reenacted his death, so there was like a there's a walking tour in New York City, like a historical tour, and it ends at Francis Tavern, which is the oldest bar, and that's where Washington hung out. | ||
| So he dressed him as Washington at the end of this tour and we put Leeches on him. | ||
| Oh god. | ||
| But we pulled it from the actual story. | ||
| It's kind of wild. | ||
| That is wild. | ||
| And that's what killed him. | ||
| Fucking leeches. | ||
| It extracted a half a pint of blood. | ||
| Oh god. | ||
| A guy did. | ||
| So Rollins extracted half a pint of blood. | ||
| Washington favored this treatment, despite Martha's voice concern. | ||
| Should have listened to Martha, bro. | ||
| As he believed it cured him of past ailments. | ||
| Washton was also given to a mixture of molasses, butter, and vinegar to soothe his throat. | ||
| This mixture was difficult to swallow, causing Washington to convulse and nearly suffocate. | ||
| Jesus. | ||
| And the sicker he got, the sicker he got, the more he thought it was the blood, so he kept telling them to add leeches. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh god. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| A solution of vinegar and sage tea prepared for gargling. | ||
| He was bled for the fourth and final time. | ||
| It was later reported that a total of 32 ounces of blood was extracted during the last bleeding. | ||
| Some in the press criticize the practice of bloodletting used in an attempt to save Washington's life. | ||
| They used to think that that was a good thing back then. | ||
| That is nuts. | ||
| Just drain all the blood out of himself. | ||
| Why did it who was the fucking genius in 1775 or whatever it was? | ||
| What what year did he die? | ||
| It had to be after that, right? | ||
| It's like 1799. | ||
| Like who's the wizard? | ||
| Who was that the topic? | ||
| He c he commanded it. | ||
| Who was the Anthony Fauci of bloodletting? | ||
| It's both safe and defective. | ||
| And he's he got poor George, believes in that. | ||
| But somebody must have told him to do that. | ||
| It wasn't his idea. | ||
| And he kept thanking them too. | ||
| He was like being gr gracious through it all, being like, Thank you so much for helping me. | ||
| That's so crazy. | ||
| Uh five in the afternoon, Washington sat up from bed, dressed and walked over to his chair. | ||
| He returned to bed within 30 minutes. | ||
| Craig went to him and Lear reported that Washington said, Doctor, I die hard, but I am not afraid to go. | ||
| I believe from my first attack that I should not survive it. | ||
| My breath cannot last long. | ||
| Soon afterwards, Washington thanked all three doctors for their service. | ||
| Craig remained in the room at eight at night, more blisters and cataplasms were applied. | ||
| This time to Washington's feet and legs. | ||
| Is that what a leech is? | ||
| A cataplasm? | ||
| I think so. | ||
| At ten at night, George Washington spoke, requesting to be decently buried and to not let my body be put in the vault in less than three days after I am dead. | ||
| Huh. | ||
| Maybe he just wanted to go. | ||
| You know? | ||
| It also could have been like think about that guy. | ||
| How many guys did that guy hack to death? | ||
| You know? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| During the revolutionary war. | ||
| Like what what what shit did he see? | ||
| A lot of machetes. | ||
| How many muskets to the face did he see? | ||
| You know, and he was at the front line. | ||
| Like that fucking animal waded into battle. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I stopped. | |
| What at uh at that time and his life? | ||
| He's probably like, just take my fucking blood. | ||
| I had enough. | ||
| 1899. | ||
| How old was he when he died? | ||
|
unidentified
|
17 yeah, 1799 rather. | |
| How old was he? | ||
|
unidentified
|
67. | |
| Yeah, bro. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He was done. | |
| He was probably done. | ||
| He was probably done. | ||
| I stopped watching Game of Thrones after season six just because I just because I couldn't. | ||
| I couldn't bear to see one more slit throat. | ||
| And you see what that guy went through. | ||
| Yeah, he's yeah. | ||
| I know. | ||
| Game of the White Wedding got me. | ||
| I was like, am I really invested in this show? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I stopped. | |
| I don't know what happens after I like the walking dead when they baseball batted that dude in the head. | ||
| I was like, I'm out. | ||
| Yeah, I only watched the biggest thing. | ||
| It killed Glenn with baseball batteries. | ||
| No, you know what it was for me in uh in Game of Thrones, they put like a little girl at the stake and burned her at the stake. | ||
| Oh, that was like the end of season six, and I was like, why am I watching this? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like it's just it's not entertainment to me. | ||
| This is like this is like disturbing to me. | ||
| That show it at times was very horrific. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Very horrific. | ||
| But also fucking awesome. | ||
| Yeah, it was intense. | ||
| It was intense. | ||
| It was like cl really. | ||
| But I I I I don't I didn't care. | ||
| I was like, I can't watch another slit throat. | ||
| I know. | ||
| But there were some cool moments though. | ||
| You get past the slit throats. | ||
| There were some moments where uh Khaleesi had that dragon behind her, and you didn't see the dragon until like a couple of seconds before it burned the person. | ||
| She's talking to this person, and she I don't I forget what they had been guilty of. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But she's standing there, and then in the darkness behind her, slowly you just see this dragon emerge. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| This enormous head that's right behind her. | ||
| Is one of the fucking coolest scenes in any show ever. | ||
| It's all drones. | ||
| And then it torches. | ||
| It looks so realistic. | ||
| That's what's so crazy about CGI. | ||
| It was good to see all those characters get their comeuppins. | ||
| Everybody got their cover pins. | ||
| That was the craziest thing about that show. | ||
| Everybody died. | ||
| I mean the the the brother got his hand hacked off, and you're like, what the fuck? | ||
| He's got no hand. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| When that dude got killed by the mountain, they crushed his head like a grape or remember that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| Other treatments they gave him during that period were enemas. | ||
| Woo. | ||
| And drugs to make him vomit and something called blisters, where they applied Spanish fly onto his throat, which caused a painful blister again to remove these terrible humors that are caused by the inflammation. | ||
| Humors? | ||
| Maybe it's just should my Alex like tumors could have been there. | ||
| Oh, maybe tumors that were caused by the inflammation. | ||
| That doesn't make any sense. | ||
| Tumors. | ||
| But if the disease itself didn't get George Washington, the doctor certainly did. | ||
| Yeah, man, he probably wanted to go. | ||
| He didn't have a disease, though. | ||
| He had just a cold. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And and it just was all of these things, blisters and the suffocating him with the molasses and the leeches and everything. | ||
| It's like, I didn't know that. | ||
| I had no idea. | ||
| Every time he closed his eyes, he probably saw a fucking bayonet through some guy's eyeball that he did. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| He probably saw some dude's head that he bashed against a rock. | ||
| He probably saw some other good dude that he fucking battle axed in the head. | ||
| But they were a guy that he sh I know, but it's like no one knew what PTSD was back then. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| No one that you know, even in Vietnam they used to call it shell-shocked. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No one knew what PTSD was. | ||
| And this guy had to have all of it. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know, he had all of it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, he had plus wooden teeth. | ||
| Slaves' teeth, bro. | ||
| He had slaves' teeth and horse teeth in his mouth in a lead mold. | ||
| Shane has a hilarious bit about it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, when he went to go visit the visiting the George Washington Museum. | |
| It's a hilarious bit. | ||
| But the teeth are the creepiest looking fucking things you've ever seen. | ||
| I didn't know that. | ||
| I didn't know that. | ||
| Oh, dude. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It was so creepy. | ||
| They just made this concoction to stick in his fucking face where they pulled all the rest of his teeth out and gave him this just full-on set of fake teeth. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Oh, it looks insane. | ||
| Like, how bad was gum health back then that this guy had they had a full set of fake teeth? | ||
| I can't even imagine being back then having a conversation. | ||
| Oh God, the breath. | ||
| Just having a conversation with someone. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, just it's just a different time, man. | |
| Well, if someone saw you walking down the street and they liked your shoes, they would just kill you and take your shoes. | ||
| Just kill you. | ||
| They would look at your feet, see if they're close to their feet, just fucking kill you. | ||
| Yeah, Washington couldn't wear Jordans anyway. | ||
| No Jordan's. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| Right. | ||
| That is kind of happening today. | ||
| If you think about it that way. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Certain places. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I didn't think about it that way. | |
| But life is definitely way more barbaric then. | ||
| Way more barbaric. | ||
| What's the most we put up with now? | ||
| I mean, really. | ||
| Well, for now, not bad, but when the robots come. | ||
| John Connor tried to warn us. | ||
| It's wild to watch those movies right now. | ||
| I know. | ||
| Those are kind of accurate. | ||
| Super accurate. | ||
| Like disturbingly accurate. | ||
| Like and we're just wading right into it, like, oh, we're gonna be fine. | ||
| This is fine. | ||
| But we're all talking about it. | ||
| I forgot to tell you this when you were telling me about the scuba diving stuff. | ||
| My buddy Adam Greentree, he uh was free drive free diving, and these guys made you know they have those really long flippers, the free divers do that's what they're called, right? | ||
| Flippers? | ||
| Fins? | ||
| That's what I was saying. | ||
| I didn't know. | ||
| Um these fucking guys made him this really cool pair and painted them fish scales. | ||
| And so no, it's not dope. | ||
| Because he swims in a place where they have sharks. | ||
| So he's spear fishing. | ||
| He shoots this fish and these bull sharks show up. | ||
| Because apparently, so many people spear fish that the sharks have figured out that the sound of that gun going off means there's gonna be blood in the water and a wounded fish, and they could steal it from the people. | ||
| And so as he shot the fish, these bull sharks show up and they bite his fucking fins off. | ||
| Both of his fins. | ||
| But just the fins. | ||
| Just the fins. | ||
| Because they think the fin is a fish. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| They don't know what the fuck he is, but they think his fins are a fish because they've got fucking scales on them. | ||
| I'm sure the fish helmet didn't help either. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| Did he have gills and shit? | ||
| He was dressed as a fish. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Imagine that's your next thing they make you do after they hear this sound. | |
| We got something. | ||
| We heard you like scuba diving. | ||
| They just uh I we talked about this last time, but I I'm not good with jump scares. | ||
| I I we talked about this. | ||
| Like I'm just not good with it. | ||
| They threw me in the horn as we talked about this. | ||
| Right, right. | ||
| So we just wrapped season 12, so it was like one of the last things, it's kind of my fault because we were gonna put do this to cue. | ||
| We're gonna put him in a demolition derby and stuff, and then have him not be able to finish until he canceled this cable. | ||
| So insurance wouldn't let us do the demolition derby. | ||
| So now we're in like Halloween time. | ||
| They found this like this place in Jersey that's like a warehouse that they do like it's an insane haunted house. | ||
| It's like these people come in and get into makeup like two hours before, like it's like a really crazy one. | ||
| They put me in this thing, and I and I was on live on a live feed with an operator, and I could not leave the haunted house until I canceled my phone, internet, and cable. | ||
|
unidentified
|
So I was in it for 42 minutes. | |
| Oh, that's ridiculous. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The first thing that happened was I got that it went live on the feed, so I'm hearing it. | ||
| I'm walking through this thing a fucking warehouse. | ||
| It's so so insane. | ||
| The first thing was that comes out and says, We are experiencing uh un unusual traffic. | ||
| You have a 12 to 17 minute wait time. | ||
| Oh god. | ||
| So I'm going through the haunted house. | ||
| Well, that wouldn't make me calm down. | ||
| Like after you get scared a few times, like I get it. | ||
| No. | ||
| No? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| What do you what do you mean you get it? | ||
| What do you get? | ||
| I get it. | ||
| People coming after you the whole time. | ||
| Yeah, but after a while I'd get used to it, no? | ||
| No. | ||
| It got worse? | ||
|
unidentified
|
It was it was like Did it ramp up? | |
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| It was dude, it was it was like a warehouse. | ||
| It was like I I never was in it, I was never in the same room twice for 40 minutes. | ||
| It was like a huge, huge place. | ||
| Oh and so you didn't know themes changed and demons changed and everything. | ||
| Sounds fun. | ||
| It wasn't fun for me. | ||
| I I'll tell you, I I this is an error in hindsight, I shouldn't have done this, but I I needed to know, because I said to them, I said, look, I just need if I'm really like if I need to breathe for a cycle, like if you're really messing with me and I need for real for it to stop. | ||
| I need you to let me know truthfully that you'll stop. | ||
| Because I can't do this. | ||
| My my my my nervous system is gonna be out of whack. | ||
| It just it just this is how I respond to this stuff. | ||
| And so they said yes, but I didn't believe them because I I've had this happen in the past, like where we we fuck with each other and we we don't tell the truth. | ||
| So I brought a taser with me because I or uh uh the stun gun, I brought one with me in there because it made me feel at least if I felt that I needed one of these people to back off from me and I took out the taser. | ||
| And then plug-up. | ||
| No, I wouldn't tase them. | ||
| But I had it on me. | ||
| You showed them to scare it to them to scare them with it? | ||
| And it came out. | ||
| It came out really. | ||
| Yes, because after the 17-minute wait time, this guy came on, and you have to think about this. | ||
| Like, I thought he was gonna continually hang up on me because I'm in a haunted house, like he's screaming and his whole music, and I'm screaming, I'm running around and so I said as soon as he picked up, I said, just listen to me, please. | ||
| And I'm I'm being dead serious. | ||
| I I have to cancel my cable right now, and I'm in a haunted house. | ||
| And there's no other time I could do it. | ||
| This is not a joke. | ||
| I need to stay on the phone with you, so you're gonna hear screaming and me screaming and things happening, but please don't hang up on me, please. | ||
| And the guy goes, I understand. | ||
| So he stayed on the line with me after he picked up like after like it was like 14 minutes. | ||
| So by the time I was like 30, 35 minutes in, and they said these people weren't gonna touch me, and they did. | ||
| And like I just my nervous system was completely shocked. | ||
| You weren't supposed to touch you? | ||
| No. | ||
| What did the guy do? | ||
| No, they would grab me, run up to me, jump from behind, like all that stuff like that. | ||
| And so I I I was like, uh part of me thought that it might be a little funny, but also like it they wouldn't come near me if I was going brrrr. | ||
| You know, like so. | ||
| I was like, this is my way. | ||
| And I took it out and I did it. | ||
| And I didn't realize though, like that like the afterward I found out that the guy that owns the place they were watching on like the closed circuit televisions, and he freaked out because like he's like, Whoa, he has a taser on like what is he you can't he can't do that. | ||
| Like, and you know, those people they're supposed to still come at me, but like when I but they played it really cool. | ||
| They would just like you know, like they they were like surrounding me and everything, and I was like just hitting the taser on him. | ||
| But I put it away after a few minutes, but I like it did give me like a respite that like they weren't going to give me. | ||
| But after I canceled the cable, they were like, it happened like sooner than they thought, so and they were like cancel phone. | ||
| Oh then I can't after I cancel phone they added and canceling internet. | ||
| So I stayed on with this guy I cancel phone internet cable it took forty forty two minutes. | ||
| Jesus but I got yeah but I had it I had the taser and I sometimes you gotta take you know into your own hands you know I understand. | ||
| So I did it would have fucked it would have really sucked if you actually tasered somebody though. | ||
| I I had enough to not do that. | ||
| No. | ||
| Don't you want to know what it feels like when you have one I've been shocked really bad by large dog coll like dog shock collars yeah so I guess I I don't know if that's the same but what is the what is the the difference between a dog shock collar and a taser like but but there's also different kinds of tasers right there's like really powerful tasers and then there's tasers that are like I had they did this to me two times on the show and so I bad is it they it's it's so bad. | ||
| It might be online. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They put them around my arms and legs at the same time all four four at the same time check to see if that'll kill you? | |
| They didn't and my my wife was like you have to go to the doctor because you can Yeah dude that's a lot electricity it was like a hundred times they shocked me right oh my God they made me give a museum tour. | ||
| So I was a tour guide in a museum I had him under my clothes and I couldn't let the people know that anything weird was going on. | ||
| So I'm giving a tour of this museum and the whole time they're shocking me under my clothes and I like can't let on to people in my tour group and I didn't want to feel the shock until I was on camera because I was like I'm not gonna take any extra shocks. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| So they take they shocked me for the first time on camera and I I l I I almost jumped out of my clothes. | ||
| I was like I can't do this you can't do this. | ||
| I had to do it because you can't say no to a punishment hadn't been really vetted out. | ||
| It really wasn't four collars is probably too much like they could have killed you. | ||
| Imagine well listen so the next season they did it again and I was at a seance and I was like a music psychic medium. | ||
| This is how fucking dumb I am because I think I did irreparable damage for real? | ||
| Because we went on tour after that all right here's the difference dog collar 400 volts to 7,000 volts taser 5000 volts sustain 1200 volts. | ||
| So it looks like initial 15 5000 volts sustained 1200 volts so a taser's a lot worse uh initially but go back again go back again Jamie but the thing is like you have four on so you don't have one dog you have four I just don't know where it's gonna come from oh I see yeah okay but if they held it down like you literally go like this like you can't move you go like oh that's crazy. | ||
| Yeah I I'm saying it now and I'm like that this should have never happened all right well if they only did one at a time still that's a lot. | ||
| It's a lot dude that could really hurt you. | ||
| Like did they check your heart for you to check your heart did you go through an EKG or anything like that? | ||
| Man Jesus man that's silly. | ||
| I thought it was like funny to do live. | ||
| It hurt bad but like so for the whole tour I would show like a clip from the television show and then be like oh I'm gonna tell you this story about like this time I did I tell you I have tattoos of Jaden Smith on my body like photo realistic tattoos of Jaden Smith on my thighs I don't think you did. | ||
| No is that something you had to do I had to do yeah so I I was telling the story of that while hooked up to the shock collars like at the at the show. | ||
| And so they could they called up someone from the audience and they stood behind me and they can shock me while I was doing this bit about Jaden like whenever they wanted and we did that throughout the tour. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| And I just always like thought like well if they do it to a dog it's safe that's all has Jaden seen this? | ||
| He he posed for that one. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's hilarious. | |
| But the first one he's 21 there the first one right there is when he was 15 he he didn't know about that one and I and I saw him in public and I showed him it. | ||
| What did he say? | ||
|
unidentified
|
It was really weird Sal, that's so ridiculous. | |
| It's on my thigh right now it was weird to keep it there or can you cover it up it was it the spirit was that I have to keep it forever. | ||
| Spirit what kind of bullshit show is that it's commitment to come up with some stuff to do to them to last for your whole life. | ||
| I know a commitment to the bit listen put something else on. | ||
| Put a puppy face over that thing. | ||
| He uh he was it was that uh Comic Con and I saw him walking because he was dressed as Batman. | ||
| Jaden was dressed as Batman. | ||
| There was this like month in the press where he was walking around everywhere in a white Batman suit. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| And I saw that white Batman suit on the and I was like, that's Jaden. | ||
| And I had it. | ||
| And so I ran up to him. | ||
| And I'm like, Jaden, you don't know me. | ||
| I'm sorry, but I had to show you this. | ||
| And I went to go low on my pants, and his security guard grabbed me by the neck. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| That's so funny. | ||
| And I was like, no, no, no. | ||
| And then the other security guard goes, no, I know who he is. | ||
| He's good. | ||
| And I showed him it. | ||
| And uh he was like, oh my god, this is the first one I've ever seen. | ||
| Like, you know. | ||
| And then as I'm showing it, I like kind of look up, and M. Night Shyamalan is staring at us because they did a movie together. | ||
| They were there promoting a movie after Earth, I think it was called. | ||
| Jaden Smith was in this air like this alien movie or this like out of space movie that M. Knight Shamlon directed. | ||
| And so I didn't realize because I I didn't look at M. What movie's that. | ||
| So M. Knight was just staring at me. | ||
| Show him he was 15 years old. | ||
| After Earth. | ||
| Danger is real, fear is a choice. | ||
| I don't remember that. | ||
| Yeah, and then so I just looked up and I'm like M Knight's looking at me and I'm just like, oh hey man, he's like, hey. | ||
| Oh, Will Smith's in it too. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| Okay, now I remember it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And so then we shot the movie of like four or five years later, and uh they made me go to a movie premiere with him. | ||
| And afterwards there was a QA of the cast, and I they made me like wear Daisy Duke's like short shorts so that his his thigh was showing. | ||
| And uh I didn't know he was in on it. | ||
| He called me up to the stage, and I had to act like I was wearing a shirt that said number one Jaden fan. | ||
| So I had to look like a crazy person. | ||
| I'm like, I'm I'm the number one Jaden fan. | ||
| He calls me on stage and he goes, Ah man, that was when I was like 15. | ||
| I don't even look like that anymore. | ||
| You gotta update that. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| And I was like, what? | ||
| We left that stage, went right in that moment to uh tattoo polar, and he posed for the other the other thigh. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's commitment, dude. | ||
| That's how you get to season 12. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's how you get it. | |
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Congratulations on that. | ||
| That's awesome. | ||
| Thank you, man. | ||
| That's really kind of crazy. | ||
| Like, I didn't realize it's been that long. | ||
| But I remember when it was blowing up, everybody was talking about it back at the store. | ||
| They were talking about how you guys were doing these shows on the road and selling out places and killing it. | ||
| Yeah, 2011. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| We got like over 300 ups now. | ||
| It's amazing, dude. | ||
| Congratulations. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| It's really fucking awesome. | ||
| Thank you, bud. | ||
| That's a huge accomplishment. | ||
| And it's got such an awesome following, too. | ||
| I mean, you guys have a huge following. | ||
| Yeah, the fans are great. | ||
| The fans are great. | ||
| Um, and you're at Kill Tony tonight. | ||
| I'm at Kill Tony tonight. | ||
| Um, touring right now, I'm doing uh the Chicago Theater in November. | ||
| Oh, that's a great place. | ||
| The beacon, the rhyme. | ||
| I'm I've liked up like 50, 60 dates. | ||
| It's on Savile County Comedy.com. | ||
| Beautiful. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| All right, brother. | ||
| Good to see you, man. | ||
| It's good to come back, man. | ||
| Thanks for having me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Pleasure. | |
| Thanks for being here. | ||
|
unidentified
|
All right. |
Export Selection