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Sept. 2, 2025 - The Joe Rogan Experience
02:40:05
Joe Rogan Experience #2373 - Dave Landau
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d
dave landau
01:17:54
j
joe rogan
01:15:17
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jamie vernon
00:36
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Speaker Time Text
unidentified
The Joe Rogan Experience.
Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day.
Yeah, dog, bro.
There we go.
Hello.
dave landau
How you doing?
Good to see you, bro.
Good to see you, sir.
joe rogan
Let's crack a lock on him.
dave landau
Not much.
He's rocking the Shinola.
joe rogan
You've been talking about your Shinola watch.
I'm glad Detroit's coming back, you know, and I like how Shinola represents.
dave landau
Shinola is definitely one of the things that's great about Detroit.
joe rogan
Yeah, they say it.
Like made in Detroit, they're proud.
dave landau
Yes.
Which we didn't have for a long time.
joe rogan
Dude.
Like Detroit is the craziest story.
about Detroit, like in the 1950s and 1960s, it was the third richest city in the world.
dave landau
Well, yeah, it was called the Paris of the Midwest.
And it's a city that's still built for seven million people with supposedly seven hundred thousand living in it.
I mean, so you do see a lot of like, how's there like a million dollar condo in the same place that has like eight abandoned other apartments?
When you go downtown, it makes no sense logistically.
joe rogan
Have you ever watched that show, Top Gear?
dave landau
Oh yeah.
joe rogan
Jeremy Clarkson.
I think it was easier.
Top Gear was maybe the one they did after that that they did for Amazon.
But they went to Detroit and they bought a house for five $500.
dave landau
Yeah, you can.
And there's also the people that buy'em and open the door and get mauled by pit bulls.
Or you see the ones that like they'll put a like a pumpkin pat, like they'll do an urban farm, which is hysterical.
And you'll see like these hippies on the news, like they cut my face and stole my plums.
And I'm scared.
It's like, yeah, but you're in a cracked neighborhood.
Nobody wants your farm.
joe rogan
No, we're gentrifying.
dave landau
Yeah, isn't that what you guys want?
It's like they don't want that at all.
joe rogan
There's some delusional fucking people out there, dude.
And what they did to Detroit, like, anybody that thinks that you should allow.
Why don't you allow corporations to just take all the jobs and move them overseas?
Well, it's just like corporate decision making and it's a prudent financial decision making.
And look at Detroit.
dave landau
Look at what they did.
It's a prime example of, like, that was the American dream.
And then they're like, we'll just assemble them in Mexico, but we'll write Made in America on your door, so you're gonna feel good about it.
joe rogan
Did they even write Made in America on the door?
dave landau
Sometimes they do.
Like, I prefer like the 80s and 90s where if you bought a car and it was made on a Friday, you knew a drunk guy did it.
So you're like, give me one from a Wednesday.
Like, those were the days of American automaking.
joe rogan
See, that's part of the problem problem too.
A friend of mine who was in the union told me that the automakers' union just got out of control.
They were making so much money and they were constantly in negotiations, there were strikes impending and Oh yeah.
And then they're like, Hey, but fuck you.
dave landau
We'll just go to Mexico.
Yeah, they're going to have to.
joe rogan
Right, that's right.
dave landau
Yeah.
That's just part of it.
But no, like later, like you said in the 80s and 90s, like you're grandfathered in.
And it really doesn't matter what you do wrong.
Like that's part of the deal.
joe rogan
Yeah, you can't get fired.
dave landau
No, it was great.
I mean, it was great.
Like, you're a good worker, but Yeah.
joe rogan
There seems to be like a middle balance that could be restored.
dave landau
Like, don't be fully hammered when you're trying to put a door on an F 150.
unidentified
I mean, they should make good money because the corporation makes good money.
joe rogan
I mean, you know, they were doing well.
It was a very profitable business.
The worker should share in those profits.
dave landau
Well, and like the electric ones, it just didn't work for them either.
They were like, Oh, they pushed it out too soon too.
Because I know people that work on the line, you have like the electric F 150.
And it's like F 150, everyone wants one.
They love it as a work truck.
But as an electric truck, you put the thing down in South America where it's hot all the time.
It's just going to catch fire.
So it's like, it's not really working out.
joe rogan
Or if you're in the cold, the battery sucks.
dave landau
Yeah, which Yeah.
And I just don't like electric cars personally.
Maybe it's just because I'm from Detroit, but I grew up and I just want to feel an engine.
joe rogan
I get it, but I have a Tesla that will knock your dick into the dirt.
dave landau
Oh, I know they're fast.
joe rogan
It's not just fast.
It's a fucking car is incredible.
It's a piece of machinery from the future.
dave landau
What is it?
joe rogan
It's a Model S, but it's a plaid that was sent to a company called Unplugged Performance.
And Unplugged Performance takes the fenders off, puts carbon fiber wider fenders, changes the suspension to like a race based suspension, puts wide tires on it and wider wheels, upgrades the brakes to these huge carbon fiber disks because it's a very he heavy car.
dave landau
I was going to say, so it's heavier as opposed to lighter like a race car.
joe rogan
Well, it's heavier because Teslas are very heavy because of the batteries.
But because the batteries are on the bottom, the center of gravity, the car is phenomenal.
It's like one of the best balanced cars you could ever drive, and the self driving is bananas.
dave landau
Oh, you have it there?
joe rogan
I had my Yeah, you get it with the car.
I had my friend Fedor was here the other day and he had never been in one.
So the first thing I always do is merge onto the highway.
I'm like, are you ready?
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
It goes from zero to sixty in 1.9 seconds.
dave landau
Are you serious?
joe rogan
1.9 seconds.
dave landau
Oh, that's faster than that.
joe rogan
And then I go, now this is what's really crazy.
I put in the destination and I just say, take me to the Comedy mothership and then I press a button and it goes tutu and when I go it goes tutu it just does it on its own changes lanes stops at red lights it it's crazy it moves around obstructions really yeah yeah because I remember the first ones that were like you know barreling over bikers yeah it's still based on camera so you could fool it with the camera you could fool the camera rather so some guy set up a mural in
the desert so what he did was he had the highway and then he made a mural that looked like the highway and the car just ran right through the mural oh I saw that that was great he made it look yeah and they he put a Woody Woodpecker to the side of it.
unidentified
Like he just pulled He just drew the tunnel, it was hysterical.
dave landau
And the thing went right into the tunnel.
joe rogan
I basically liked that.
But he didn't draw the tunnel he did.
But is what Woody Woodpecker did, right?
dave landau
It's so awesome.
unidentified
He would draw a tunnel at the side of a cliff, and that's all he did.
dave landau
He just tricked it like it was a coyote.
Which with all the AI, it was kind of nice to see.
I hate to say it.
I was like, that's a little relieving.
joe rogan
It's kind of funny.
It's for now.
But, you know, it's like beating up a two year old that's eventually become an NFL player.
dave landau
Oh, of course.
joe rogan
The Walker is going to grow up and he's going to kill you.
unidentified
You're going gonna remember who fucked with the Waymo's.
Oh, you know?
dave landau
I was watching a movie last night, I can't remember the name of it, Companion, and it was just all about like sexbots.
And they're like hunting them and going at each other, and it's like just a It's a movie?
joe rogan
Like a movie.
unidentified
Yeah.
dave landau
It was on HBO.
Yeah.
unidentified
Oh, okay.
dave landau
And like they set up a sexbot to kill one of their friends so they can rob him.
joe rogan
Oh boy.
dave landau
And it turns out she's a sexbot and this other guy's a sexbot and I'm watching it and I'm like, this is the problem.
Like, yeah, there it is.
Like, you can't really give these things personalities if you have a sexbot, I think.
joe rogan
Well, this is part of the problem that's happening with these chatbots with kids because they're developing a relationship.s with them.
And like one AI chatbot was teaching a kid how to make a noose.
unidentified
Yeah.
dave landau
That's not funny.
joe rogan
No, it's a little bit funny.
dave landau
It's pretty funny.
joe rogan
It's a little bit funny.
It's a little bit funny.
The fucking robot is teaching a suicidal kid how to do it right.
dave landau
It's already encouraging, like, you have a good idea.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Take a rope, make sure Yeah, that's I wonder if any of the woke AI chatbots have talked to any of these trans school shooters.
dave landau
They might have.
joe rogan
You know what I'm saying?
dave landau
Like, well, the last one, yeah, I don't know.
joe rogan
Bro, it's like seven of the last X amount of seven in a row have been trans except one was non-binary, which is just diet trans.
It is right.
That's diet trans.
That's trans without the sugar.
dave landau
I just don't get it.
Like, I felt suicidal.
Like, stay at home and kill yourself.
Like, don't go into schools.
joe rogan
Or just go for a walk.
unidentified
Yeah.
dave landau
That would be good too.
joe rogan
You know, the problem is some people get to a certain point in their life and they have no friends and no community and no identity and no life.
And it's not, they're not successful and they feel like shit.
And then they have gender dysphoria on top of that.
And then they're probably on a bunch of SSRIs, which RMK Jr. is going to apparently do some sort of a large scale research into the connection between mass shootings and psychiatric drugs because it is real and everyone knows it and it's just this dirty secret that no one talks about because all the media is paid off by the pharmaceutical drug companies and nobody wants to make this correlation connection because you also risk the wrath of all these people that are on them
saying I'm on them and I'm not doing anything.
It's not the pills.
unidentified
I need these to function.
joe rogan
Maybe you do.
I don't know.
I don't know how your brain works.
But the reality is most of these people that have committed mass murder are on psychiatric medication.
dave landau
Well, they are.
And I'm on SSRIs that I'm trying to get off from right now because I've been on for ten years, Oloft.
And I don't like it.
So I hadn't liked it for a long time.
And even dealing with mental health care, I'm like, I don't think I need this.
And they're like, what's better you stay on them?
I'm like, this is odd because it's having the opposite thoughts, you know?
And so I It's having the opposite thoughts.
joe rogan
It makes you feel bad.
dave landau
Depressed.
unidentified
Yeah.
dave landau
It wants me like really like I gained weight.
I was doing like really bad mentally for a while because of certain things.
And it was, I took myself off of them for five days and I felt good.
And then I got really crazy and really nauseous.
Like my brain started kind of missfire.
So now I'm weaning it off a little more correctly, as opposed to just going cold turkey.
joe rogan
So after five days, like, what is happening where it makes your brain crazy?
dave landau
Like, I was stuttering, I was slipping up, I was having trouble seeing.
joe rogan
Did you like go online and see if there's any correct way to do this?
dave landau
Yeah, they said to wean it off where whatever your thing is, take that and then bust a pill in half, take that for seven days, bust a pill in half, take that for seven days, and that's what I'm doing now.
And I already feel better being on less.
But I was told for the last ten years that that's what I should be on, and I think it's had a very negative effectect to me.
joe rogan
Well, yeah.
dave landau
Yeah, see brain zap.
That's what I mean.
Like you just feel like you're having a stroke.
joe rogan
Electric shock like sensations in the head are a hallmark symptom.
Other sensations can include tingling or numbness.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Influenced like symptoms, digestive problems, sleep problems, balance.
Your balance goes.
Mood changes, cognitive issues, brain fog.
There it is.
dave landau
All of it.
And nausea was the one that really messed me up because I was just like, why do I feel sick?
But I didn't feel like the flu.
joe rogan
You just felt like thrown out.
unidentified
Yeah.
dave landau
And I just realized, I'm like, okay, well, what did I take out?
Because I've been off of a lot of harder drugs and alcohol and stuff.
So I know what it's like to feel abstinence.
And it was a abstinence from it.
joe rogan
So how old are you now?
dave landau
I'm 43.
joe rogan
So when you were 33 you got on them?
dave landau
Yeah.
joe rogan
So what was going on at 33?
You were like, I need medication.
dave landau
I went to their, my mom had died, killed herself.
So I decided to go see a doctor and they were like, look, take this.
And I'm thinking like, I think my mom was on this.
I don't know if this is the best answer, but I took it and it was.
joe rogan
My mom was on it?
dave landau
She was on, yeah, she was on antidepressants and she was bipolar.
But they had her misdiagnosed as depressive too.
Because I was like, I think she's bipolar.
And they're like, how do you know?, I lived with her for 30 years and I know the mood swings because I grew up in a house where, like, you came home and she was either the happiest woman on the planet or you were fucking terrified.
Like, it was one or the other, you know?
And that's just, and she wasn't a bad person.
She just had this mental imbalance.
joe rogan
Yeah.
dave landau
And it was after things happened with my dad and, like, the government and things like that, so...
He was in Vietnam.
And he got a soft cell sarcoma from Agent Orange.
unidentified
Oh, my gosh.
dave landau
And the VA was great.
They did nothing for her family.
denied both of my mom's claims my dad lost all of his money like it was he was worth like four million i think he lost everything and uh it was to pay out of pocket like when and he got sick when i was 13 he was like our baseball coach everything so he would go around the like country going to like uh cambridge had a very good uh neurosurgery place for the brainstem uh university of michigan and ann arbor had one so he wasn't as present a lot my mom was dealing with that on top of being an RN.
I mean, and he was tough as nails.
Like, he would have one of those Halos droves.
drilled in and he'd still go golfing and shit like he'd just be on the course oh my god and i'd be like what are you doing it's like it's not bad i don't pick my It's not bad, I don't pick my head up anymore.
joe rogan
He's like, you see the bright side of it.
I have a halo.
dave landau
Dude, he would find the positive in anything.
He reminded me of Dangerfield a lot.
Like, that's how he was.
So he never complained.
And it was always crazy because he'd be very dry.
Like, people would go, How are you?
And he'd be like, Oh, life is great.
He's just got something nailed in his fucking head.
He'd be like, Can you give me one of those tissues so I can clean it off real quick?
He goes, It might be bleeding, yeah?
How are you?
And he just tried to make light of it the whole time.
But the government did nothing.
And then the more I research it, we've talked to the VA.
I have an uncle who does stuff, former Marine, four people that I have dealt with this from Vietnam because they denied so many claims that ended up being real.
Like soft cell sarcoma was one of the things where they said, oh, we didn't do that.
That's not from Agent Orange.
It's like, are you sure?
Because he was in combat in the fields where you sprayed it to kill all the trees.
And they're like, yeah, that's not on us.
Then years later, they admitted it, but said, my mom filled out the paperwork wrong and gave us nothing.
And even 10% of that's 400 grand.
Like, gave us nothing, dude.
So it's like, I've dealt with that my whole adult life where I have a little piece of me.
That's why I'm not really like right or left.
I'm very much like fuck either side of this until somebody does something that I actually believe in.
joe rogan
The helicopters?
dave landau
Yeah, LBJ, from what I understand, had money in helicopters.
joe rogan
Oh, God.
dave landau
And was able to profit off of it.
unidentified
Oh, God.
dave landau
So, and people say it's a conspiracy theory, but why were we really there?
unidentified
Well, I think the real reason was heroin.
dave landau
I'll give you that.
Yeah.
joe rogan
I think that was the real reason.
I think that's the real reason why we were in Afghanistan as well.
dave landau
Oh, I would assume, yeah, because that's the poppy fields.
joe rogan
I don't want to say it's the only reason.
I'm sure there's other, there's military reasons, there's rare earth minerals in Afghanistan, there's natural gas, there's a lot of resources in Afghanistan.
unidentified
But there's a lot of heroin coming out of there.
joe rogan
That was at one point in time, 94% of the Earth's heroin supply was coming from the place that we were guarding.
We were literally guarding the poppy fields, military, U.S. military guarding the poppy fields that was supplying heroin to 94% of the Earth.
dave landau
That's insane.
Because the other part is there's a part in China, like some of the triangle, trying to think of.
It's, what's it called?
But the rest is Afghanistan, and that's how you're getting every drug in the world into the US as far as, you know, actually making opioids.
Because in the nineties, I worked in a pharmacy, which was a great place for a drug addict, especially when they weren't counting the pills.
You could do it by weight.
So you just say, like, hey, I gotta go, uh, take out the trash, and you just, like, open up a bottle like Valium or Percocet's and just, you know, fill your cellophane.
joe rogan
The Golden Triangle, the remote jungle covered border region where Thailand, Myanmar, and Lao People's Democratic Republic meet has been, has seen an exponential surge in the manufacture and traffic of synthetic drugs.
unidentified
Yes.
joe rogan
So that's what it is.
It's the Golden Triangle.
dave landau
That's what I was thinking of.
joe rogan
That I guarantee you, that had a there was a major reason why we were in Vietnam.
There was so much money coming out of there and the idea that some corrupt factions of either the military or the intelligence agencies or whoever it is, and I'm not saying the agencies or the military themselves, I'm saying corrupt factions, because there's always going to be those.
Just like when the CIA sold drugs in South Central LA to pay for the Contras versus the Sandinistas.
It's all real.
dave landau
Well, look at Detroit.
When you look at White Boy Rick, White Boy Rick was somebody who was caught selling crack.
And you had Coleman Young, the mayor, who was pretty corrupt.
And then you had the FBI who caught him and said, hey, here's some more crack.
Just go into the city and find out who the dealers are.
Then when White Boy Rick got brought in by the city.
The FBI was like, we didn't do that.
We'd never put crack into a black community.
We don't know.
We've never seen this kid in our life.
So this kid, who's my cousin's friend, White Boy Rick, ends up going to prison.
I don't know the exact time.
For like 30 years, he's like 17.
They try to name him as a kingpin.
And again, he's a white boy in Detroit who's 17.
He's not a kingpin of shit.
And he served the longest time because Coleman Young was pissed he was dating his niece.
So he goes he goes away and then while he's in jail they have him sign a thing that said he stole a car so his sister didn't have to go to jail.
So finally they let him out for all this wrongdoing that he never did this sentence that was batshit and then he has to go right from that jail to Chicago to serve time for stealing a car while he was in prison.
His story is crazy.
There's a documentary called White Boy and it's one Yeah, that's the one with McConaughey was in the movie?
Yeah, McConaughey plays his dad.
My uncle knew him, knew the real guy.
He said he was like he said he was kind of a dick shit.
He would sell guns very obviously out of his basement.
They lived like two blocks over.
joe rogan
So is this guy alive now?
dave landau
Oh, he's still alive, yeah.
joe rogan
Is he out?
Is he out?
Is that my Boy Rick?
unidentified
That's him?
dave landau
That's him now.
He got out just a few years ago.
joe rogan
Jesus Christ.
dave landau
So he was in there for How old is he now?
Oh, I don't know.
Well, he went in in the eighties.
joe rogan
Oh my God.
dave landau
And I think he got out around 2020.
So yeah, if you if you see the documentary White Boy, I highly recommend, yeah, see a teenage drug informant for the FBI.
But then they denied ever talking to him.
joe rogan
Look at it says above where the Eminem picture is, White Boy Rick releases his own marijuana strain.
Yes.
dave landau
That's the good thing about Detroit now is it's all like insanely legal.
That's funny.
joe rogan
Freeway Ricky Ross is doing that in LA.
dave landau
Is he really?
joe rogan
Yeah.
Freeway Ricky Ross, who was selling the drugs in LA that paid for the Contras versus the Sandinistas.
dave landau
Oh, that's awesome.
joe rogan
He's got his own weed line now.
dave landau
I know a few guys who were like heavy busted in the late nineties and now they all have stores.
And that's just hilarious to me.
joe rogan
You would think that they would shy away from that.
dave landau
No, they just smoked even after I was like, still okay.
joe rogan
But my saying is, my thinking is, it still federally illegal.
dave landau
It is.
joe rogan
Like to open up a store and have that your primary source of income, a Schedule 1 drug, according to the government.
That seems risky as fuck for someone who's already been inside.
dave landau
Oh dude, it really, well, it's odd that they could get the right, like the permit for it.
joe rogan
I know.
dave landau
Or at least they know someone who got the permit for it and they work there.
So maybe they shouldn't let out too much.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Their grandmother or something.
dave landau
Yeah, that's who owns the store.
It's a 95 year old lady.
But if you go to parts too, it's like weed store, weed store, vape store, weed store.
You're like, I can't believe you packed so many into a block.
joe rogan
Yeah.
dave landau
It's not like a liquor license that takes forever to get.
It seems pretty easy.
joe rogan
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I wonder if there's like weed store wars.
dave landau
There must be.
joe rogan
There must be.
They're fighting over profits.
They're all on the same street together.
dave landau
Well, I was just in Albuquerque last weekend and they had the same thing where I'm like, so it's weed store, massage parlor, vape store, buy here, rent here, car lock, buy here, pay here, weed store, weed store, weed store.
It's crazy how legal it is in a state.
joe rogan
Yeah, it all depends on the state.
Yeah.
In Texas, it's just medical.
I think you have to have AIDS.
I think you're basically dead.
dave landau
Yeah, they only wanted to give it to the bad, bad AIDS people.
joe rogan
They're expanding that though.
They're looking at expanding that.
If the federal government just changed the designation or distinction or whatever you would say it is, like from Schedule 1 to Schedule 3 or something like that, which is reasonable, that's what they should do.
dave landau
Well, the whole thing is ridiculous, and that's how you get organized crime.
I mean, look at prohibition.
Detroit was one of the first places to have it when it was three years before they actually made it nationally outlawed.
And that gave birth to the Purple Gang, who Capone was even afraid of.
And I mean, those guys were fucking ruthless.
And they would just go over to Canada because it was right across the river.
And they would just either take a boat or in the winter they would drive.
And of course, they'd send some underling to drive to figure out how heavy the ice was.
So they knew if they put that many kegs in a thing, you'd die.
So there's just Model Ts at the bottom of the river.
joe rogan
Really?
dave landau
Yeah, dude, it's cool.
A lot of the old mansions still have the tunnels that will lead out into the river that the bootleggers used to use.
unidentified
Wow.
dave landau
It's really fascinating.
joe rogan
So Canada never went prohibition, huh?
dave landau
No, and it was right there.
Like you could throw a rock.
joe rogan
You just take a drive to Toronto.
dave landau
Yeah, just go right to the Guardian.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
That new civilized person.
Well, they have legal weed up there too.
dave landau
Yeah, the old country.
Yeah, this is one.
joe rogan
Look at that Model T at the bottom of the river.
dave landau
And this was a guy who's like, I got a whole bunch.
And then halfway.
joe rogan
That's fucking bad.
dave landau
The ice went out.
Yeah, dude.
They were The Purple Gang was ruthless, man.
I've never heard of that before.
They were the first, they were probably the first Jewish gang.
They had Irish members as well.
They were the Bernstein brothers, their parents owned a shoe store.
And like the legend is they were called Purple because that was the color of rancid meat.
So they hated the name because they thought it sounded gay.
But they still like, they still ran with it.
But when you see pictures of them all lined up in like mugshots, like they would do stuff like walk up to someone and be like, hey, I like your ring.
And they'd be like, than thanks.
And then a guy would just like cut the dude's finger off and he would take his ring.
Like they were, like the level of cruelty these guys would inflict on people to take over a city was next level.
unidentified
Wow.
dave landau
And they had never heard of this before.
Yeah, dude.
Even Capone wouldn't mess with him because he was over in Chicago and needed some of these guys to supply the liquor.
joe rogan
Wow, and the Purple Gang ruled Detroit.
unidentified
So is that a documentary where it says the Purple Gang?
dave landau
That might be.
They did a mob museum thing on it, and I went and saw in Vegas.
Like that book right there, The Organized Crime in Detroit, that's a great book, and it's got a lot of fun fun photos, but yeah, they were as ruthless as you could absolutely get.
joe rogan
Go to that first picture in the upper left hand corner and make it big.
Look at their faces, man.
dave landau
Yeah, none of them are happy.
joe rogan
Those are hard looking dudes.
dave landau
Yeah, they had a rough, rough life.
So a lot of them were just like stray kids that were Irish that were just abandoned by their parents.
And then the rest were these Jewish kids whose parents owned a shoe store.
joe rogan
Wow.
dave landau
And I mean, eventually they dismantled, the Italians took over.
But, you know, during Prohibition, they reigned.
joe rogan
Wow.
dave landau
Yeah.
joe rogan
I've never heard of that before.
dave landau
It's a really cool story that I've always wanted to see in a movie and nobody has been able to execute it.
And I would love to see it.
joe rogan
Because maybe someone will now that you just got the story out.
dave landau
I hope people will, because it's such a cool story.
joe rogan
It sounds crazy.
dave landau
Like the level of Detroit mob too that's been around is just, it's wonderful.
I shouldn't say wonderful, but I love it.
joe rogan
Like, it's just crazy.
dave landau
Yeah, like they were nice to my dad and stuff when he was young and, you know, like when he had got back from Nom and, you know, they're just nice people that I knew.
joe rogan
Wow.
So nice people that kill people.
dave landau
Yeah, but you know, they kill.
I kill bad people.
joe rogan
Yeah.
But the thing you said that's so important is that like prohibition, all it does is prop up organized crime.
And the fact that we still do it, it's just for optics.
unidentified
It's just because people's like, I don't want legal drugs on the streets and my kids getting hooked on drugs.
joe rogan
Drugs are here.
They're here.
If your kids go to a club, if your kids go to a bar, if your kids are partying, drugs are there.
They're a real thing.
You'd be way better off if drugs were legal and then you knew exactly what you were getting.
Because these kids are getting fentanyl because I had this guy, Ed called around the other day, who's an expert in the cartels, and he said they started adding fententanyl because they had grown so many poppies that the soil had been depleted.
So the heroin was very weak.
So to make the heroin more potent, they started adding fentanyl.
dave landau
Is that what it was?
joe rogan
And the desire for all that stuff was all because of the Sackler brothers.
So the Sackler brothers, when they created this opiate crisis in America, which didn't exist before, where everybody's hooked on these fucking pills, then they started cracking down the laws.
So now you have a demand and you don't have a supply.
And then along comes the cartel and starts making pills.
And they start making pills with fentanyl in them.
Because their heroin is not that strong.
dave landau
Xanax, Percocet, all these things the kids don't know.
There's things that kids don't know they're taking.
That's the shit part.
joe rogan
Yeah, they make it Look just like the real pill.
Oh, I know what those are.
dave landau
Oh, yeah.
You get those pressed Zanis that look just like a bar and it's just complete fentanyl.
And I when I remember when fentanyl, I shouldn't say first came out, it's been around, but it first started becoming, they put it in products you weren't expecting.
And I had like three friends die within a matter of maybe four months.
And that's how I started noticing, like, well, this is going to get serious.
And now, like, there's a site, I see it's called every eleven minutes.
And that's when, or every eleven seconds.
And that's how long it takes for someone to OD on fentanyl in this country.
joe rogan
So every eleven seconds, a new person is overdosing.
dave landau
on fentanyl.
unidentified
Wow.
joe rogan
And all because of our stupid laws.
And I'm not saying, I'm not saying legal heroin would be good for everybody.
It's not, it's not good to do heroin.
I think everybody would agree to that.
dave landau
Well, yeah.
joe rogan
No.
dave landau
I did it before once.
It was good.
joe rogan
Was it?
dave landau
Oh, yeah.
joe rogan
What was it like?
Did you shoot it or snort it?
dave landau
I snorted it.
No, sorry.
I snorted it and then I smoked black tar heroin and one time I shot it.
So three.
joe rogan
Wow.
What was the best one to shoot next?
dave landau
Yeah.
joe rogan
That's why they do it.
dave landau
That was in, that was majestic.
joe rogan
Was it?
dave landau
Yeah, dude.
joe rogan
What was it like?
dave landau
The most calming, wonderful, God, this sounds like I'm promoting it, also with my voice, like it's the most calming, wonderful sensation you've ever had.
You're going to love it, kids.
It felt amazing.
Like you, every problem you've ever had is gone and you feel nothing but euforia, which is different than like Oxy and some other stuff, which kinda just makes you feel, to me, loose and tired.
unidentified
Mm.
dave landau
I mean, this makes you tired, you're crashing out, but you're also getting a feeling that was really, really like warm and exciting.
unidentified
Mm.
dave landau
Like I only smoked crack once on acid, and that was How do you do that on acid?
They put it in a joint, right?
So we're sitting on my friend's back porch and he gives me first he's on the joint and I hit it and it had like a weird sizzle and I hit it.
I'm like this is the best pot I've ever had in my life.
And he's like yeah they gave me free crack and I was like oh good.
So I'm now high on crack.
My other friends are pissed.
They go and throw the joint in the sewer and I'm just sitting there like and it doesn't last very long but it felt really fucking good.
Like I immediately would have done more crack had there been the option but it definitely takes you over very quickly.
joe rogan
Did you ever see the Hunter Biden thing recently?
We did this interview where he's talking about how great crack is?
dave landau
Oh yeah.
He's spot on.
joe rogan
It was the best ad for crack I've ever seen in my life.
And you only did like one hit, right?
dave landau
I did once and then I'm done.
Like very rare.
joe rogan
Well, they threw it in the sewer.
Did you want to go get it?
unidentified
Yes.
dave landau
I wanted to go back to Wayburn, the street where we got it.
And I was like, we should go get more crack, guys.
I don't know if you didn't feel this, but it's...
joe rogan
I think you're probably the...
No, you're not the first person I've talked to that shot heroin, but the first person who described it.
Yeah, it had to be better to get people to shoot it up.
dave landau
It was awful, that part.
unidentified
Yeah.
dave landau
And then it was.
joe rogan
Did you do it with a guy?
dave landau
Yeah.
joe rogan
So he'd done it before?
He did it before me.
dave landau
Yeah.
unidentified
Oh, good.
dave landau
He died of heroin overdose in his parents' kitchen.
Yeah, I know you wouldn't expect it.
What a shocker.
Found his head between like the fridge and the stove.
Got stuck?
I think he was either looking for something or collapsed right there.
joe rogan
Oh boy.
dave landau
Yeah, it wasn't good.
Nice guy.
joe rogan
I knew this dude in the 90s.
His name was Waterdog.
Okay.
He was a professional pool player, like a really high level professional pool player.
And he was heroin addict.
And he would go into the bathroom.
Like I saw him play straight pool, which is this game where you're just running balls.
It's called 14 and 1.
It's what they played in the Hustler.
So you have instead of a eight ball with the balls in the center, you have a soft break where you're just trying to not scatter the balls very much.
And the idea is to eventually someone makes a mistake and you leave an open shot and that person runs out that rack, leaves one ball on the table, makes that ball and collides the cue ball into the rack and opens up that rack and then keeps going.
And a really good player can run like two, three hundred balls.
dave landau
Yeah.
joe rogan
So this guy was playing for ten thousand dollars in the nineties.
It was a lot of money.
I was broke so I couldn't believe anyone could play pool for ten thousand dollars.
This guy goes into the bathroom, shoots up, comes out and sits on this bar stool like this.
Just sits there for like twenty minutes, man.
Just sat there.
And then we were all watching him, like his arms are all curled up like this.
And then he got off, screwed his cue together and never missed., I mean it was the craziest display of pool I think I had ever seen at the time.
He played like the greatest pool player that's ever played.
He had no nerves.
He couldn't be rattled.
The guy he was playing, this guy, George the Greek, who's this degenerate gambler, was a really good player too.
unidentified
He was screaming and yelling at him, this motherfucker, he can't play without the shit.
joe rogan
He must have that shit to play.
He didn't give a fuck.
He was listening to him yell.
He had eyeballs, his pupils were like the size of quarters.
dave landau
Yeah.
joe rogan
And he didn't miss.
He just was firing balls in with perfect accuracy.
He got perfect position on every ball.
It was wild to watch.
He was just fully heroined up, just running out of the table, like he saw it in advance.
Like he was looking at a math problem that was easy to solve.
dave landau
And he's just basically slow Eddie and coming back and just knocking it all in.
Like that's but it's never been like a performance enhancing drug, but to that guy.
joe rogan
And for nerves.
dave landau
Yeah.
joe rogan
This is the thing, I think, if you're playing for ten thousand dollars and you're basically homeless.
He was basically homeless.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
I mean, he would like to sleep on people's couches.
He would still.
Oh yeah.
And so with a guy like that, you'd get a backer.
So a bunch of gamblers would come in and then they'd come up with the money and then they'd go in with you and you'd get a share of it.
So if you won, maybe you get 40% and they get 60% because they put up all the money.
So it's a free shot at 40% of $10,000.
And for a guy like that, he's got no money.
He's staying in flop houses and he always had the same shirt on, like a throwaway sweater with a Christmas tree on it.
He'll always look like shit.
I watched him play some of the greatest pool I've ever seen played in my life.
dave landau
That's incredible.
joe rogan
On this really tight pocketed table too.
The table was like a real trick table.
Table one at Executive Billards in White Plains, New York.
It was a trick table.
It was like you had to be really good to play on that table.
And that's why George wanted to play him on that table because it was hard.
He was used to it.
That was like his home turf.
He played on it all the time.
And this motherfucker never missed.
Heroined out of his mind.
He had no nerves.
George would yell in his face.
He'd be like, yes.
Nothing.
Didn't feel a thing.
Didn't feel a thing.
Just, it never missed.
dave landau
That's what it is.
There's no problem to you anymore.
It takes away every worry you have.
joe rogan
So I ran into him years later.
dave landau
Okay.
joe rogan
There's a pool tournament in, so this is when I was probably 23.
I was living in New York.
And then I moved to LA.
And then I'm like 27, 28 now.
And I'm playing in this tournament at Hard Times Billiards.
Hard Times is like the.
pool hall in the country back then.
Like all the world class professionals, all the Filipinos, the best players in the world.
dave landau
That's all familiar, actually.
joe rogan
Crazy place.
It was an amazing place.
I used to love going there.
I'd play in a Sunday tournament.
So I get down there and I see Waterdog.
I go, Hey man, what are you doing out here?
Because he's a Connecticut guy, he's from Connecticut.
dave landau
Yeah.
joe rogan
And he's like, I'm gonna play in the tournament, but I don't have any money.
I go, I'll put you in the tournament.
Because like, it's like, I remember what it was, like, fifty bucks or something for this guy.
I'm like, you might win this fucking thing.
He goes, But I gotta go get my shit.
I go, Okay, go get your shit.
He goes, I need a ride.
I go, where do you need to go?
And he's like, South Central.
I'm like, I'm not driving you to South Central LA so you can score heroin.
Yeah, you're fucking mine.
dave landau
He's like, don't worry.
It's just the worst.
joe rogan
And he was like, dude, you won't get caught.
I was like, you can't say that.
I go, first of all, if you get caught, you know, they take your car.
And I had a nice car at the time.
I had a Toyota Supra.
I was pretty excited about.
dave landau
Yeah.
joe rogan
I was like, I'm not driving my brand new Toyota Supra to fucking the crack house.
dave landau
Right.
So you can buy heroin.
In South Central.
This is crazy.
joe rogan
But they arrest people all the time doing that.
they take their cars that was like the scam they compound your car and then they auction it right i was like he's like that won't happen i'm like you fucking So I go, look, I'll put you in the tournament if you want to play, but I'm not taking you.
I go, if you can get a cab there or something, go.
So he just did it straight and he couldn't make a ball.
dave landau
Really?
joe rogan
Yeah, he lost two matches in a row.
He's out.
dave landau
Oh, damn.
joe rogan
Yeah.
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dave landau
Did you bet it for him to win?
joe rogan
No, no, I gave him like whatever the entry fee was for the tournament.
dave landau
Oh, I got you, okay.
joe rogan
But, you know, I wasn't, you know.
dave landau
You were probably like, I don't know, not today.
I don't think so.
joe rogan
Well, I was just like, tired of him telling me to go to South Central to get heroin with us.
dave landau
Well, yeah, and that's a good way to get car jacked on top of if it's just cops.
Yes.
I mean, that was very popular to do.
joe rogan
You're a cute little white boy who's on TV.
dave landau
Yeah, dude, that's how they got cars.
joe rogan
Not only that, it's the I would actually be buying the heroin.
dave landau
Oh, was this during Fear Factor or?
joe rogan
No, this was during News Radio.
dave landau
News Radio?
joe rogan
So I would be have to pay for it.
Because he didn't have any money, which is why he didn't have any money to get into the tournament.
So I would have to pipe I would be buying heroin.
dave landau
Yeah.
joe rogan
In South Central.
dave landau
From doing the show.
joe rogan
There was no TMZ back then, so it probably wouldn't even make the news if I got arrested.
No one would have cared.
dave landau
Yeah, I guess that's true.
I don't know.
joe rogan
No one would have cared.
I was one.
dave landau
They'd think it was Andy Dick and let it go.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
But even Andy Dick wasn't getting into trouble back then.
Not really.
It wasn't making the news.
Our show wasn't popular enough that anyone cared.
And I was only one of eight people in the cast.
dave landau
Right.
joe rogan
So I wasn't a star.
So I could go anywhere.
And every now and then someone would go, Hey, you're that guy from that show.
Hey, what's up?
So it was pretty easy to get around back then.
dave landau
Which is great if you're on an NBC show.
I mean, good or bad, but you're getting the money and you don't have to deal with all the shit.
joe rogan
Well, it was it was really good preparation for what I have to deal with today.
dave landau
Yeah.
joe rogan
Because it was like a slow trickle of fame to the point when when you get really famous, you're like, Oh, I know what this is.
This is a trick.
dave landau
Right.
joe rogan
Like, don't get sucked into the trick.
But back then, you know, so if I got arrested, it probably would have just been, I would have probably had to do some time or something.
I probably would have had to like plea out or do community service.
I probably would have explained why what happened.
Maybe they listened to me.
I'd be like, please drug test me.
I've never done heroin.
Yeah.
But even though you're still buying heroin, so it's still a felony.
dave landau
Well, it was a time where they were more lax on all those laws too.
I mean, not lax, but lax with penalties, I should say.
joe rogan
Yeah.
dave landau
Because it wasn't as public.
Because I mean, even like Robert Johnny Jr., whom I do greatly admire actually, because I'm in recovery as well, but even with him, it's like you had to go into your neighbor's house and fall asleep in a kid's race car bed.
And people were like, you know, maybe you should do a little time behind bars.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Well, he was a repeat offender.
Yeah.
You know, probably jail was a wake up call for him.
I love that guy.
I did.
unidentified
I did.
dave landau
And it's become Iron Man, so to watch that trajectory is absolutely astonishing.
It's incredible.
It's incredible.
joe rogan
I wish I could get him off that vegan diet though.
It looks like he's fucking wasting away.
dave landau
Yeah, that doesn't look good on anyone.
joe rogan
It's not real.
unidentified
No.
joe rogan
You're trying to be kind.
But you're just supporting monocrop agriculture, which kills more animals than anything.
dave landau
Yeah, I don't want my superheroes vegan.
joe rogan
Well, he's a nice guy.
That's what it is.
Nice people want to do kind things.
And, you know, and sometimes you get roped into a shitty decision making and you're getting all your protein from soy.
And they're like, why do I have tits?
Why am I lactating?
Why am I always crying?
dave landau
I'm very emotional all the time.
joe rogan
And now they're banning lab grown meat, so like they can't even go to that, which I mean, it's good, right?
I don't know.
I don't know enough about the dangers of lab grown meat.
I don't know.
dave landau
I ate a Beyond burger once.
joe rogan
That's not lab grown.
That's horseshit.
dave landau
It was awful.
joe rogan
Those are terrible.
Yeah.
Those, they, they're in trouble because those people, like their stockholders, all fucking went crazy because they thought they're going to make money off that.
They're like, this is it.
We made it.
It tastes just like a burger.
Everyone's going to love it.
Cruelty free.
No, it gives rats cancer.
dave landau
Oh, good.
joe rogan
You ever seen?
This study on these, because essentially it's just.
it's the most highly processed shit available.
Look, if you want to be a vegetarian or a vegan or whatever, eat vegetables.
Eat organic vegetables.
That's healthy.
But when you want to pretend that something's a hamburger, it's a trans burger, you have to it has to go through a lot, just like a trans person has to go through.
You want to get a vagina?
Guess what?
You need general anesthesia and you have to have a guy who's going to cut your dick in half and use an apple core to make you a vagina.
And then you're going to have to take a rubber dick and keep it there so it doesn't close up.
unidentified
Yeah.
dave landau
So you have to either die or die.
Yeah, by the time you're getting the patty that basically shoots up a school.
It's all just filled with nonsense.
joe rogan
It's bad for you.
dave landau
Yeah.
joe rogan
It's all bad for you.
And it's, it's not even satisfying.
It's, it's not good.
Like when my friend Duncan, you know Duncan, Duncan Trust.
dave landau
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
joe rogan
He was living in North Carolina and he sent me a picture during the pandemic.
He was like, look, this is all that's available.
And all the meat had been gone and there was just Beyond burgers.
That's all that was left.
Everybody had bought all the hamburger, all the steaks, all the chicken.
And it was just this fucking bullshit, fake meat.
dave landau
Well, yeah, because at the end of the day, you kind of have to know it''s bullshit.
joe rogan
Well, I think in the beginning, like, didn't Kevin Hart have a restaurant where he was just selling all vegan food?
People do it because they think they're being a good person.
That's what it is.
Sure.
I get it.
I get the sentiment behind it, but just eat vegetables.
If you really want to go that route, just eat vegetables, but guess what?
Don't go that route.
It's not good for you.
dave landau
Well, no, we're not designed to do that.
joe rogan
No.
dave landau
And I'm not saying I have the healthier diet, obviously, but it's like, yeah, I like steaks.
I like meat.
I just, that's probably the only thing that keeps you alive.
Probably the only thing I get, yeah.
I eat a lot of dies migraines.
unidentified
A lot of dyes, a lot of that red 40 that they try to get rid of.
dave landau
Yeah.
joe rogan
That was another hilarious thing when RFK junior was saying that they had to get rid of the red die 40 and they're like, well, if we do, what will happen to our business?
Meanwhile, the same business is selling the same cereal to Canada without the dye because in Canada it's illegal.
dave landau
Right.
Oh, the amount of stuff that we looked at, like our entire breakfast as a kid was just cancer.
That's the only thing they advertised on TV.
joe rogan
Dye.
dave landau
Just have a big sugary bowl of cancer and some toast with diabetes 2 waiting for you.
Yeah, it was nuts to think the amount, because I'm just the microwave generation.
Like, yeah, just throw that in the microwave.
We can just pour a bowl of this shit.
unidentified
Yeah.
dave landau
The last 45 years in the cupboard.
joe rogan
For us it was TV dinners.
Yeah.
A frozen TV dinner, you put it in the oven.
And the next thing you know, you're eating Salisbury steak.
dave landau
Yum, yum.
And those wonderful potatoes.
joe rogan
Yeah, those little fluffy potatoes.
They're in that little tin.
dave landau
And occasionally the worst brownie you've ever had.
joe rogan
It's not a good brownie.
unidentified
No.
joe rogan
I used to love those little TV dinners.
I used to think it was a treat when we ate TV dinners.
dave landau
Oh yeah.
That's how it was at my house.
joe rogan
There's no vitamins in that.
dave landau
No, you never felt full.
You felt gross, but you never felt full.
joe rogan
Just think about it, I mean, even the food pyramid, I mean, how crazy is it that in the 20th century they had it totally wrong?
With all the access to books, all the information we had about health and nutrition, they were so wrong.
Even with the food, the bottom up was all the shit that gives you inflammation.
unidentified
What, your foundation is this inflammation causing bread.
dave landau
Look, what you need here is mostly wheat.
You have to make sure you get eighteen servings a day of white bread.
joe rogan
With bromate in it.
You want to get a lot of that.
You want to get a lot of folic acid sprayed on it.
Enriched flour is better.
dave landau
Yeah.
Here's sugar, that's there for some reason.
Two ounces of protein, make sure you grab that.
joe rogan
How much is the sugar, dog?
dave landau
Everything.
joe rogan
Everybody had type 2 diabetes when I was a kid.
They just didn't know it.
dave landau
Oh yeah, well, everybody's getting it now.
It's still constant.
joe rogan
I know.
It's there's never been a time where poor people are so fat.
dave landau
No, like, starving people are obese, that's what's crazy.
Like, you can't get nutrition in your body, but you also have to sit down to get groceries in a cart.
joe rogan
Or go to Disneyland.
dave landau
Yeah, that's right.
joe rogan
Disneyland is the place you find them all.
dave landau
Yeah, and it's like, why?
Like, you're like, because they get the cart for you.
joe rogan
They have cart set up there for you.
Because it's a lot of distance you have to cover.
dave landau
You do, yeah.
joe rogan
A lot of parks.
dave landau
I just don't see the enjoyment of a ride.
joe rogan
Any rides?
dave landau
Well, I mean, not the ride you get for free to go from ride to ride, but the actual ride.
No, I love rides myself, but if I weighed 400 pounds, I might not enjoy it or Yeah, that would take a lot of the love out of it.
It would, wouldn't it?
joe rogan
It wouldn't fit in those spaces.
dave landau
Especially if you're with your kid and the bar comes down and that one has no protection.
joe rogan
Right, the kid's fucked.
The kid's gonna pop right off the top because you're so thick.
dave landau
Exactly.
joe rogan
Right, right?
There's like this much of a gap.
dave landau
You've seen those people where the kid's in and out.
And the kid's like looking at his mom all nervous.
Yeah, like we should be fucking nervous.
joe rogan
You should be terrified.
I used to think that when I got on ski lifts.
I'm like, this is crazy.
dave landau
I know.
joe rogan
They just let you sit on this thing way, way, way above the mountain.
dave landau
Oh, and people would fall off all the time.
joe rogan
Yeah.
dave landau
Because they think it would be funny to jump or whatever.
Actually, there was always...
It was bad.
joe rogan
Woo.
dave landau
Like, we didn't have mountains in Michigan, but we did have big enough hills.
Like, I went skiing.
He did a lot of skiing when we were really young.
And then I went down a...
Yeah, it was like, I got this.
And my ski got stuck in a soft mogul and I just went down it on my face.
It looked like eight dudes beat the shit out of me.
Like, I was just like all scarred and bleeding.
And then I just didn't ski much after that?
joe rogan
I got a concussion a few years back and I stopped skiing.
I'm like, I'm done.
I got a concussion and I got what's called an insufficiency fracture in my shin.
Some lady didn't know how to ski and she slid into the trail like sideways like doing this thing.
And I had two choices, either destroy this lady or wipe out hard.
And I took the second choice and got a fucking, I banged my head off the ground.
Oh, it was bang.
I heard this and I had a helmet on, but it was still.
The bang was loud and I was dizzy for the rest.
I 100% got a concussion.
And I didn't feel right for the rest of the day.
And then I was like, I'm done.
This is not worth the thrill.
Everyone I know has a torn ACL from it, a commotion.
My grandpa died.
Oh, God, I'm sorry.
dave landau
Yeah.
joe rogan
Oh, no.
unidentified
Oh, no.
dave landau
Oh, I didn't know some in Europe.
Yeah, but I know they do.
joe rogan
They all have stories.
dave landau
Well, yeah, they all have this, like someone knows a Sunny Bono, just like launched right into a tree of a mighty oak.
joe rogan
It's not worth it.
dave landau
No, dude.
I just never enjoyed it that much.
And then when I tried snowboarding, I'm like, I sucked at skateboarding and was poser at that.
Why am I even attempting this?
joe rogan
Snowboarding, you're attached to that fucker too.
At least in skis, the skis pop off.
dave landau
Yeah, you can get away.
unidentified
Yeah.
Yeah.
dave landau
The boards come with you when you fall.
joe rogan
I know a lot of people got knocked out snowboarding because the feet go up in the air.
dave landau
Yeah.
joe rogan
You know, like if something happens, the feet go up in the air and you're head first.
dave landau
Dude, my son does it and he's ten and I let him, but he's pretty good at it, but I've I always get very nervous when he goes to do it, but he's good with, I mean, he's a very good athlete.
joe rogan
The good thing is little kids have less weight and when they're falling, it's not as painful and then they're all flexible and pliable than a dude, he broke his arm.
dave landau
It was crazy and he was better in like, it was like eight days.
It was like Wolverine.
It's like, how did you how did you do this?
Like, I tore my, was it, meniskus, ACL, blew off half my kneecap.
unidentified
Oh boy.
dave landau
And yeah, I was making fun of my friend And then he tackled me and we were on a linoleum floor with keg beer.
Oh no.
So instead of going to the hospital when it was in a lot of pain, I'm like, I'll just wait till the morning.
And I had my friends carry me around this party.
And then the next morning, I'm like, yeah, this isn't moving at all.
So my friend Jimmy drove me to the hospital and dude, it was like out of a sitcom.
Like doctors opened up a door into my leg.
He wheeled me into a drinking fountain on accident.
Like, I broke my leg more just trying to get into the hospital.
And then by the time I got in for them to do the surgery, they're like, what happened?
I couldn't be like, oh, I was drunk at my friend's houses house, you know, I was like, oh, I slipped on ice.
It was winter.
I was walking to my car and they're like, this is a lot of damage for just slipping on ice because I just twisted it all night.
I should have known.
I mean, my foot was like behind me.
joe rogan
Oh, God.
dave landau
When I did it, like my knee just is, so I have rods in my right knee.
So I just try.
joe rogan
Really?
You have rods to keep it together?
dave landau
I've tried, yeah.
joe rogan
Wow, it was that bad?
dave landau
Yeah, like you can hear it pop sometimes when I walk.
It's pretty nice.
Does it hurt?
Sometimes, but not as bad as you think it would.
If I'm like doing a treadmill for a long time or if I do something where we're just outside, like, because I'll go do that, but I like it that'll hurt after maybe a couple miles, but not like a severe pain.
joe rogan
Just annoying.
dave landau
Yeah.
joe rogan
That's fine.
dave landau
Yeah, and you can like weather messes with it in the sense, but nothing crazy.
joe rogan
Do they, is there an option to take those rods out?
Because I know a lot of them, they put them in there so that the bones heal correctly, right?
dave landau
Yeah.
There might be.
I mean, it's been 25 years.
I'm sure there's been advancements in it, and I just don't bring it up.
joe rogan
I bet your bones are just grown around it.
Oh, I know.
dave landau
Sure, it's destroyed.
They're probably like, why didn't you come in?
I'd be like, you didn't bring it up either.
joe rogan
Yeah, I know a guy who broke his arm and the screws from the plate that kept his arm together were popping through his skin.
So he had another operation.
They opened up his arm again and took the plate out.
Because the arm had healed, like the bones had fused, but then the plates and the screws started backing out.
That's through his skin.
That's poking through his skin.
dave landau
That's what happened to my son, and it sucks.
He was like six, and him and his friend were hanging out at his friend's house, and they had like a slide that was eight feet in the air, and they both decided to jump off of it.
joe rogan
Oh, God.
dave landau
And he landed funny, and he's a little kid.
So I was at my friend's mom's funeral.
I rushed back to get him.
It's the worst thing in the world when it's your kid.
It's just the worst.
But yeah, we made sure like he got him the screws out, he got the right, like everything went fine.
But the way that.
joe rogan
Because he healed so.
dave landau
Dude, he, it was honestly like they cut the cast off like two weeks before they were supposed to.
Because he's like, I can go like this.
I'm like, that's amazing.
Because I remember I would like to go to bars still and I was still underage, but I was still going to bars with like a cast on.
Oh boy.
Like a full blown knee brace.
And I, you know, I'm wearing like tracksuits and like I had chains and like earrings.
unidentified
I was that kid.
dave landau
So I'm just like a raver stoner.
And I'm just walking around with my crutches.
joe rogan
That's hilarious.
It's like, how long did it take before you could walk again.
dave landau
Properly?
About six months.
Now, every now and then, I do walk with a limp because it just kinda goes out.
joe rogan
Does your friend still feel embarrassed by this?
dave landau
No, I don't.
No, it's one of those guys you've known for so long.
It's he didn't care then.
And I was saying stuff to him that kinda I deserved it.
So, like, I mean, he felt really bad.
I shouldn't say that.
But no, it's not anything.
The girl who owned the house went nuts and she was so hot and I always had a crush on her.
And she's like, your family's going to sue me.
I'm like, my family's not going to sue any.
They don't sue people.
But we're not going to sue you.
And like, I think my dad had passed at that point and she's like so freaking out because she would have these wild Christmas parties every year where it happened.
Oh boy.
And that ended the wild Christmas parties and she's like, yeah, you never sued.
I'm like, yeah, why would I sue?
Because I'm stupid.
Like, it's, it was my fault.
And then I just went out and said, yeah, I fell on ice.
joe rogan
Isn't that a gross thing that people would just sue?
If they did something stupid in your house, they would sue you.
dave landau
Dude, I've never, never.
Like, I can understand points where people have.
joe rogan
It's just such a scammer mentality.
dave landau
It's a shit thing to do to anybody.
It's like somebody who, like, slips delivering a package or any of that stuff that's possible.
joe rogan
There was a lady that was when my kids were younger, there was this lady that was a single mom and her daughter was playing with my daughter and they come over the house and she went up to another person's house and they'd have play dates like kids do and she wasn't there.
So she comes to pick up her daughter and they're they have a dog and the dog is a very friendly dog and the dog you know they jumps up to like you know dogs do that and scraped her with its claws just scraped her with its claws.
She sued the family for $50,000.
dave landau
And won.
joe rogan
And they just settled.
They settled because they were informed, listen, legal fees are going to be probably $100,000.
She wants $50,000.
So this fucking asshole, all a dog did, dog nails, just scratched her a little bit.
Not even like bleeding, nothing crazy, just normal.
Oh, your dog's crazy.
Like where you and I would be like, what a cute dog.
unidentified
Right.
joe rogan
She was like, Ooh, opportunity to sue this family that's wealthy.
dave landau
Especially the fact that that's just what they do.
I remember when we were young, there were two pit bulls that were in this house behind a camp we were at.
And this one kid was always throwing rocks at them.
And we were like, You shouldn't do that.
Because we like the dogs.
And the camp had its own golden retriever.
And it was fine with the pit, but they'd run on the fences and stuff.
So we, that's when I first even started getting used to dogs when I was young, because I've always liked dogs and I have too and I've had tons.
But I remember that the pitbull, once the kid stuck his finger through the fence, took off these two toppers of his finger.
And like they sued, they put the dog down and we were like, he's been chucking rocks at those things all summer.
Like, he's been antagonizing these animals all summer.
And I mean, it sucks that it happens, but it's like...
Yeah, it sucks that he was told not to do it a bunch of times and then there was a consequence to this shitty action.
joe rogan
Also, how did you raise a kid that's throwing rocks at dogs?
Like what's what kind of kid would throw rocks at a dog?
dave landau
It's like the first thing you find that has unconditional love for you.
It's the first thing that you trust in a different way than a human.
joe rogan
Did he have dogs?
dave landau
There's no way he did.
I didn't, I don't remember him well.
I remember the blood and the screaming, but I didn't remember much about him other than maybe.
joe rogan
Did you have the weird handshakes afterwards?
dave landau
Yeah.
Yeah.
I knew his penmanship wasn't very good after Old Stubbs.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Yeah, man.
dave landau
Yeah, but he does.
joe rogan
Ripples are tricky dogs though.
dave landau
My brother's had ones where, yeah, he's I've had a bunch of them.
He's rescued a couple and I've had friends who have saved them in Detroit from fights.
Yeah.
Because they would throw them in a back alley, the losers, and sometimes my friends would take them and get them sewn up and keep them.
But those dogs specifically would kind of only be left alone for the owner.
Like my friend would keep it just for him like locked up.
joe rogan
Well, they're usually fine with people.
The real issue with pitbulls is dogs and children.
They think of children as animals.
They don't know that a child is a person.
At least it seems like they don't, because they attack kids.
dave landau
Well, and children don't know dogs are animals sometimes.
And that's kind of how I treat with my like you have to understand that when you're rough housing or whatever, like there's a you have to be real careful because she may not necessarily know what you're doing, you know?
And he learned that at a young age and dogs love him.
But a lot of times kids can be really, really rough with dogs.
joe rogan
Yeah, they can be sure.
Especially if they don't grow up with them, they don't know and they're not taught.
But the thing is, like if you have a sweet dog, like I have a golden retriever, and if my kids thought all dogs were like my dog, and then they went up to another dog and grabbed his face, that dog might bite your fucking face off.
dave landau
Yeah, and golden dogs are the best.
They're just designed to be the sweetest animals on the planet.
joe rogan
He's the nicest dog of all time, the best pet ever.
dave landau
Yeah.
joe rogan
He's just the homie.
He comes home, he's like,'Hello!' He wags his head.
He always has to greet you with a toy.
Like, as soon as I come in the house, he grabs one of his toys and runs up to you with a toy.
dave landau
It's the nicest feeling in the world.
joe rogan
Yeah, they're the sweetest dogs.
He cuddles with me when I watch TV, he climbs up, like literally, like, lies in my lap.
You know, he's 75 pounds.
He puts his fucking head on my chest.
Yeah.
He just likes to be petted while I'm watching TV.
dave landau
Yeah, they just want to be with you.
joe rogan
Yeah.
dave landau
It's the nicest thing.
And I, you know, I had a Rottweiler, then people are afraid of those, but she was the sweetest dog.
joe rogan
It's, a lot of it's how you treat them.
Yeah.
But it's also the breed.
It's also the bloodline.
Like if you get a game bred pit bull and you expect it to be cool with other dogs, you're out of your fucking mind.
That dog is designed to fight dogs.
dave landau
Yes.
joe rogan
But if you get a good dog and you train them well and teach them, it takes a lot of responsibility.
Like people that run out and get like a German Shepherd or a Belgian Malinois and think they're going to just keep it in their yard.
You just literally got like an elite super athlete for a pet.
You know, and you're just thinking you're just going to leave it in the yard.
occasionally throw the ball to it fuck out of here you never walk it so it's got a bunch of pent up anger and energy exactly good for you it's like a high school kid that's been left in a confined space.
dave landau
Yeah.
See how it works when he comes out.
Yeah.
into the real world.
Bring him to a dog park.
joe rogan
Oh yeah.
dave landau
Did you see that video of the dog parks?
Some of them?
joe rogan
What video?
dave landau
There was one video where a guy, his dog is attacking one dog and some dude runs up out of nowhere and just shoves his finger in one dog's ass.
joe rogan
Oh, that works.
dave landau
Yeah, it did, but it was still the most ridiculous thing.
Like this guy just runs in like he thinks he's Superman, is like, I've got it and just starts Well, if a dog has a lock on another dog, that's one of the only ways to let him go.
unidentified
Is it?
Yeah.
dave landau
Has it worked?
joe rogan
I hear it works.
I've never done it.
unidentified
But I've never tried it myself.
joe rogan
When dogs would fight with each other, you could hose them.
A lot of times they'll let go.
dave landau
Yeah.
joe rogan
They just freak out.
You're getting hit in the face with a jet of water.
dave landau
Yeah, that will do it.
joe rogan
But, you know, the...
When they fight, they wag their tails.
dave landau
Yeah, they're having fun.
joe rogan
That's what's crazy.
dave landau
Yeah.
joe rogan
You watch them like literally chewing each other's faces off and they're wagging their tails.
dave landau
Well, I got a border collie at the same time as a rottweiler and they were both pretty, you know, they both enjoyed fighting each other.
Fun, but playful.
And you'd always just watch for the tail waggling because they'd be flipping each other over.
Right.
Like when we first got the rot, we went to a dog park because they were like newer to us in Michigan.
And this one dog just kept coming up that was bigger than my rot, but kept kind of like messing with her.
Yeah.
And then finally my rot grabbed her by the neck and flipped this dog over and was just like pinning it with her mouth.
And then the dog gave up and was showing its belly.
And I'm like, oh, fuck.
Like, all right, we're going to leave the dog park now.
You know, people were...
like freaking out and screaming yeah but the dog kept like coming up and like nipping my my dog until my dog finally just like attacked back real quick yeah which is what dogs do.
joe rogan
They have to establish dominance.
dave landau
That's what she did.
joe rogan
I was at a dog park once and someone brought a wolf.
dave landau
Are you serious?
joe rogan
Yeah.
It was the wildest thing.
All the dogs.
All the dogs immediately knew it wasn't a dog.
unidentified
Well, yeah.
joe rogan
Some guy had one of those seven eighths Timber Wolf dogs, you know, because you can get those dogs where they're not really dogs.
It's a wolf.
And this thing just walked in and every dog was like, That's not a fucking dog.
They all scattered.
It was wild to watch.
It was big too, man.
It was really big.
It was like 100 plus pounds and just big fucking mouth, big long mouth and it just looked like a wolf and every dog knew it wasn't a dog.
dave landau
Were they all backing in the corner?
joe rogan
Because wolves eat dogs.
unidentified
Oh yeah, they did.
joe rogan
They knew.
dave landau
Yeah.
joe rogan
They fucking there was a thing like the smell, the look, whatever.
Every no dog was sizing up with it at all.
dave landau
No.
joe rogan
Every dog just ran away.
It was weird.
dave landau
Well, they have that instinct.
And that thing is like what dogs like that's like if a caveman walked in.
Right.
You know what I mean?
Like that's the original OG of what we're supposed to do.
joe rogan
Right, right, right.
jamie vernon
This is not a wolf.
joe rogan
Oh yeah.
I've seen this video.
This video is wild.
So there's all these dogs are fighting.
dave landau
Okay.
joe rogan
And check out this one dog.
walks in and he's the fucking boss.
And he's this dog.
Look, all the other dogs back the fuck away from him.
jamie vernon
Let's talk about that.
joe rogan
Look, they all back away.
This one dog, and he gets on that dog.
Like, look what happens.
dave landau
Oh, dude, every one of them just acts right.
joe rogan
It's like John Wick of dogs.
unidentified
Yeah, dude.
joe rogan
It's just.
Look at this.
The dog just lays down and he just gets on top of him.
dave landau
I once saw this dog kill one of us with a pen.
joe rogan
I have no idea what kind of dog that is.
dave landau
I don't know either.
The black one, it's got to be the white one.
joe rogan
The one that's dominant.
dave landau
The one right there.
I mean, I, oh, the black one was cowering.
I was looking at the wrong dog.
jamie vernon
Of course, I believe.
joe rogan
Well, why don't you take a photo of that dog and run it through Google image?
dave landau
The dog looks like Benji.
Like they probably just.
joe rogan
That's what's crazy.
dave landau
Yeah, like it's probably just they knew it had a hard life.
joe rogan
My friend has a dog like that.
It's a small, it's a darker, like a gray and brown dog.
And he takes it pig hunting.
And it's the most savage fucking dog I've ever seen in my life.
dave landau
And it looks like that?
joe rogan
Yes.
This dog just chases pigs.
dave landau
Which is crazy.
And pigs are tough.
joe rogan
Oh yeah, but this dog is just nuts, man.
dave landau
Dude, that's funny.
joe rogan
What kind of dog is that?
Come on, Chuck GBT.
A mixed or breed or a mutt based on appearance, shaggy, wiry coat, body structure.
How crazy is AI?
Wolfhound or terrier mixes.
Large size and robust build might also suggest some Central Asian Shepherd or Kangal ancestry, especially if the dog is used as livestock guardian.
However, without a clearer look in more context, like the dog's size, weight, or behavior, it's difficult to definitively identify the breed.
It's likely a mix of working or guardian breeds common in rural or semi-rural areas.
dave landau
Yeah, that thing they just knew had it tough.
joe rogan
Yeah.
dave landau
Because it just came in and didn't get it.
joe rogan
It's like a big dog.
That's what's crazy.
Like, yo, but that was kind of what it was like when that wolf showed up at the dog park.
All the other dogs were just like, what in the holy fuck is this?
dave landau
Was it you?
You I think you were talking about it, maybe it was, I don't know, but it's about a guy who trains wolves?
joe rogan
And he was saying I've had people on that work with wolves.
You can't really train wolves.
dave landau
Yeah, like, but I think it was like the movie The Gray, you know, like taken with wolves or whatever.
And like he said during it that he has to fall down as the stuntman or whatever.
So the second he gets home, one of the wolves is going to try to take his spot on top.
So you gotta like grab the wolf and hold it up in the air and like that's like the main thing to do to get it to stop.
But like every night he just has to prepare himself for fighting a wolf when he gets home.
joe rogan
Oh, Jesus.
dave landau
Which is crazy.
joe rogan
That's so stupid.
dave landau
But I mean, they all just they're pack animals.
Yeah.
joe rogan
So as soon as you leave, they take the dominant spot.
unidentified
Yeah.
dave landau
You have a good day of filming and there's just this wolf looking at you the whole car ride home, seeing if he's going to take like your shit once you get home.
joe rogan
I knew a dude who had three of those, three of those wolf dogs, and he was a piece of shit.
And they got out of his yard and killed the neighbor's sheep and he lied about it.
He's like, No, I'm my dog.
I'm my dog.
Killed like eight sheep.
dave landau
Dude, yeah.
It's true.
joe rogan
Because they just kill for fun.
dave landau
Yeah.
joe rogan
Like, oh, there's just sheep that just commit suicide?
What killed?
Mountain lion?
What did this?
dave landau
Well, there's coyotes and stuff.
No, no, no.
joe rogan
That kind of damage.
Coyote would have a hard time taking out a sheep.
It would take a long time.
dave landau
Yeah.
But they grab small dogs.
Like, oh yeah.
Like, before COVID, we, like, in Detroit and like the suburbs, we never had coyotes, like it seemed, like, anything of that stuff.
And then after, you see them all the time.
Like, I would walk out and there'd just be like a deer on my front lawn.
I'm like, this is bizarre.
joe rogan
Yeah.
dave landau
In this part.
And then, yeah, now you have ones that like hop fences and grab small dogs and jump away.
joe rogan
Yeah.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
They're everywhere now.
They're in every fifty they're in all fifty states and then they're in every major city.
dave landau
Yeah.
That's crazy.
joe rogan
Yeah.
They're a wild anild animal.
I mean, a really interesting animal, I should say.
Obviously, they're wild.
dave landau
Because when I first saw them, they'd be crossing the street at night.
I'd be coming back from a gig and I'm like, is that a dog?
Should I stop?
And then it's clearly just a coyote.
joe rogan
Yeah.
dave landau
And I'd never seen them up close like that ever.
joe rogan
They're in Central Park.
dave landau
Are you serious?
joe rogan
Yeah, yeah.
dave landau
I used to walk by there all the time.
joe rogan
That looks like what it is.
That looks similar.
jamie vernon
Bosnian Barak.
joe rogan
Bosnian broken haired hound called Barak.
Yeah, it looks similar.
Fights bears?
Yeah, that's it.
That makes sense.
dave landau
Yeah, that would be it.
joe rogan
That would make sense why all those dogs are like, this motherfucker's not pla playing.
dave landau
Dude, he takes down grizzlies.
joe rogan
He is not playing.
He is a scenthound.
Yeah, that's what my friend's dog looks like.
And it's a little dog and it's a girl and she's fucking ferocious.
dave landau
And just has, dude, a pig and a bear.
joe rogan
Yeah, pigs are like wild pigs are some of the most ferocious sounding animals.
I remember the first time I ever went hunting pigs, we were going down this dirt road and to the right of us was like heavily wooded, like high grass and they were in the grass near us and then they started fighting and it sounded like demons, like orcs.
They were just going to war, like maybe 10, 15 feet from us, but we couldn't see them because of the tall grass.
The sound was nuts.
Like, this sound is insane.
dave landau
Where do you hunt them?
joe rogan
This was in California.
dave landau
Okay.
joe rogan
California were, oddly enough, they think most of them came from William Randolph Hearst estate.
Because William Randolph Hearst, the same piece of shit that...
William Randolph Hearst had an enormous estate and he had wild boars out there on his estate.
and of course they got free.
And now Central California, all that area is like San Jose, they have a giant problem with them.
dave landau
Really?
joe rogan
Yeah, they like to show up on people's lawns and tear their lawns apart and you wake up in the middle of the night, there's ten wild pigs on your fucking front grass.
dave landau
Holy shit.
unidentified
Yeah.
dave landau
Do they attack animals though?
joe rogan
Oh yeah, they kill people.
dave landau
Really?
joe rogan
Yeah, so one old lady got killed by wild pigs.
dave landau
What a way to go.
unidentified
I know.
joe rogan
Fucking dirty, filthy demons tearing your face off.
dave landau
Not that it's funny, but I mean, you just don't expect it.
joe rogan
It's kind of funny.
unidentified
Yeah.
dave landau
But yeah, they are.
How did grandma go?
You're like, oh, she was torn to death by pigs, wild ones in her suburb.
joe rogan
With this place that I was at.
They, you know, they hunt them a lot.
And that's what we're doing.
They taste good.
dave landau
Yeah, I would imagine.
I mean, it is pork.
joe rogan
Yeah, it's a different kind of pork.
It's like a darker meat.
unidentified
Interesting.
Yeah.
dave landau
I've never had it.
joe rogan
Yeah, because they're, you know, they're not eating just grain.
They're eating whatever the fuck they find.
And a lot of acorns.
There was a lot of it.
They had a lot of fat on them.
That's from acorns.
They were delicious.
dave landau
What do you hunt them with?
joe rogan
That time it was a rifle, but I was bo hunted them too.
dave landau
I was wondering if you did, yeah.
joe rogan
Yeah, bo hunted pigs.
But the thing is, like, if you're bo hunting pigs and you're shooting a wild boar, like a big boar, you probably shouldn't have a backup..
Probably should have a pistol.
dave landau
In case it comes at you.
joe rogan
And you should probably have one in the chamber.
So as it's running at you, you can just...
It'll charge you.
Happens all the time.
dave landau
So it's kind of because bears are like that, aren't they?
Like if you shoot one in the heart, it'll go 100 yards.
joe rogan
Some bears.
dave landau
Okay.
joe rogan
If you shoot them in the heart, I doubt they're gonna go 100 yards, but they might be able to because they can get they can go 100 yards pretty fast.
dave landau
Just on adrenaline.
joe rogan
But, yeah, Bears are If you hit a bear, like, there is a distance between you and them where it's like a fight or flight distance where they're too close where they think that you'll attack them and so then you're in trouble.
dave landau
Yeah.
joe rogan
But if they're far enough away where they think, Oh, this guy's not going to chase me and you can scare him off, that can happen.
Bears are tricky.
dave landau
Yeah, I've never Well, we had one bear, I mean, it wasn't hunting us.
We were just up in, what do you call them the Smokies?
joe rogan
Uh huh.
dave landau
And it was just a vacation and it says, Don't throw food off the balcony.
So of course the first thing my son does is throw a hamburger.
And then all we can hear is the woods start moving.
And we look down and I'm like, There's a bear.
And it's, I didn't know they climb.
So the thing starts climbing up the side of the house and eventually we just kinda made enough noise or something that it went back into the woods, but I'm like looking around, like, we have a gun, right?
And I was like, I think we have one.
Like, oh, that's good because there's a bear climbing up the fucking house, dude, it was terrifying.
joe rogan
Yeah, if you have food left out, if you have garbage left out, once they've established that that's a place where they get food, they keep coming back.
dave landau
That's what I was, yeah.
And the first thing he did was just truck a hamburger out to feed the animals.
And I'm like, buddy, I told you he's like four or five at the time.
And then like, a couple of minutes later, bear.
unidentified
Oh.
joe rogan
Do you know the state that has the most bears per capita in the country?
dave landau
No.
joe rogan
New Jersey.
dave landau
Is it really?
joe rogan
Yeah.
New Jersey has a crazy bear problem.
dave landau
I didn't know that at all.
joe rogan
So the governor of New Jersey ran on a platform of stopping the bear hunt.
Because people hunt bears in New Jersey.
Because people think of New Jersey, what you think of these high density areas like Hoboken, Hackensack, Atlantic City.
That's not New Jersey.
dave landau
No.
joe rogan
New Jersey's mostly rural.
dave landau
And then you have those actual, like, mountains.
joe rogan
Uh huh.
Yeah.
Well, a kid got killed out by Rutgers.
A bear ate him.
And a Rutgers University student went for a hike.
Got taken out.
And bears became such a problem that the same governor who ran on stopping the bear hunt and did stop the bear hunt when he came into office, the population boomed so badly without hunters that he reinstated the bear hunt.
dave landau
Oh, did he?
joe rogan
Yeah, he had to.
The interactions between humans and bears were going through the roof.
dave landau
I was really hoping that story ended with him getting eaten by bears, because that would be just the perfect irony.
joe rogan
Well, he probably had a meeting.
A lot of people that live anywhere near them have meetings.
Like there's a video of Far Rockaway, New Jersey.
We played it many times on this podcast, but we'll play it again just for you.
dave landau
Okay.
joe rogan
But there's these fucking bears.
They look like four, five hundred pound bears and they're fighting.
in the middle of a suburb.
And they're essentially, they're going to war for garbage.
So like, you know, they claim either that or maybe one of the females is in heat.
But there's these two fucking huge bears.
And they're falling downstairs and they're out in the street.
And the people are filming them from their car.
I mean, these are big bears, right?
dave landau
Are they brown bears or black bears?
joe rogan
There are all black bears in the United States until you get into the upper Northwest.
dave landau
And then you see more of the grizzlies.
joe rogan
You only get grizzlies in like, so look at these bears.
dave landau
Holy shit.
joe rogan
Yeah, bro.
Fucking normal house, suburbs.
dave landau
Or a couple of bears.
unidentified
Look at the real estate sign out there.
joe rogan
The size of these fuckers dude.
They knocked over the sign there.
Whatever that was.
That was a light, I guess.
Look, the electrical cord.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Yeah.
Bro, it spills out into the street.
Dude, these guys go to war for like ten fucking minutes.
How long is this video?
Six minute video.
Look at this.
They get out and show them all when they're out in the street.
So people are filming them.
These fuckers tumble down the side of the hill.
They're still duking it out.
dave landau
I've seen them come down the street and Yeah.
in the same Yeah, same place.
joe rogan
The size of these guys, man.
unidentified
Dude.
joe rogan
Look at that.
Right by the mailbox.
Look at all the hair.
Oh yeah.
dave landau
They're pulling each other's arms out.
And that's crazy?
Well, dude, and that's just because they're claws on accident.
The size of these fuckers.
Imagine that goes across your face or your skin.
Oh dude.
joe rogan
You're so dead.
Those are big bears too, man.
dave landau
Dude, that guy is so nervous about his Volvo.
It's like, come on, don't go near it.
joe rogan
These people are so used to it.
These people who live in this area.
dave landau
Yeah, you're right.
Dude, in the car just was like, Okay, we have to wait until it falls into the shrubs, and then I'm gonna gun it.
joe rogan
Hear those noises they make.
It's rrrr.
Imagine your little kids walking home from school.
dave landau
You see these two bears.
unidentified
And see two fucking huge bears in New Jersey?
Yeah.
joe rogan
Far, look, you hear the cars?
dave landau
Yeah.
joe rogan
Yeah, look, cars driving by.
Oh, hi guys.
Stop, wow.
I'm going to go get a sandwich.
dave landau
Yeah, you know we have bears now.
joe rogan
Yeah.
Far Rockaway.
dave landau
Holy shit.
Dude, yeah, that's.
joe rogan
Does not have the most black bears per capita.
unidentified
I thought it did.
jamie vernon
I kept going it, and it's not even popping up in the top five or six.
joe rogan
I would imagine for a dense human population makes its high bear population a significant concern for residents, particularly in the states.
Dude, Ted Nugent told me that.
I think these people are wrong.
The state's forest covered northwestern regions of have one of the highest concentrations of black bears in the nation with approximately 3,000 bears.
dave landau
Did if Ted Nugent told you that, I think he's right.
unidentified
Yeah.
dave landau
The guy knows a thing or two.
joe rogan
High population density, concentration in the Northwest, increased sightings.
The other problem is they really don't have an accurate number.
Because in heavily wooded areas, when you want to do a census on animals, you're sending out wildlife biologists and they just have to count them.
And there's no way they can really count them correctly because you're dealing with dense woods.
And black bears are particularly difficult to find in the woods.
Their sense of smell is insane.
Their hearing is insane.
And when they hear people, they just get the fuck out of there.
dave landau
Yeah, like in Michigan, you've seen them.
Like they come down because, you know, we're up by the Upper Peninsula and they'll come, you know, Canada and all that stuff.
But you do see them on occasion, but I guess they are becoming more and more, like they're moving more and more south towards the cities now.
joe rogan
Of course, because nobody's hunting them.
dave landau
Yeah.
Which I think we should.
joe rogan
Yeah, you have to hunt them.
dave landau
Yeah.
I mean, it's why you control the deer population.
joe rogan
Yeah.
It's like, that's what people have always known.
And, you know, somehow or another, liberals lost their minds and thought it was a bad idea to control predators.
Yeah, well, massive, huge predators.
dave landau
Right, and it's like you realize, like, let's just say the deer is alone.
If you don't control it, you're just gonna have people smashing into them with their cars all day.
joe rogan
They're made of food.
dave landau
Right, for you to eat.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
You could go eat them.
Deer is delicious.
dave landau
And if you've ever been in front of one with horns, like I was in the Rockies, my friend was all high, he got out of the cars, like, twenty years ago, and there's, like, I don't know, it wasn't, maybe it was a deer, but like an elk or something.
joe rogan
Probably had to be an elk.
dave landau
Yeah.
joe rogan
Was it big?
dave landau
Yeah, really big.
And he gets out, like, he's like, I'm gonna stand by and take a picture.
I'm like, I don't think you should do that.
And even then, I'm like, terrible idea.
And the thing just lowers its horns at him.
And I'm like, dude, get back to the car.
And we're like in a Jeep gunning it away from this thing chasing us.
joe rogan
This is a guy that is in his car and he's talking shit to this elk that's in the street in Yellowstone and it fucking jabs his tires.
It takes his tire out.
Just he doesn't even know what it's doing.
He's like, fuck!
unidentified
You hear'ch'''cause it punctured his tire.
dave landau
Dude, it just took him out the way a cops would with like a sneaky trip.
And then it's got a lens just getting ready to take you out.
joe rogan
It just stabbed his tire.
unidentified
Ugh.
dave landau
It's like you want to step outside now?
joe rogan
The scariest ones are moose.
If you ever What's that?
Is that you have the video of him taking out his car?
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
What's this?
Oh boy.
Look at the size of that fucker.
Woo!
dave landau
Dude, you have a tree growing out of your head.
A sharpened tree.
unidentified
Yeah.
jamie vernon
Is it going for the tire?
joe rogan
I don't know if this is the one that cut the tire.
The other one was coming from the other side.
It was coming from the driver's side and the driver was talking shit to it.
But you get the point.
dave landau
I think the driver was mocking an animal.
joe rogan
But the real dangerous ones are moose.
dave landau
Yeah.
joe rogan
Because moose will actually stomp you.
They will go after you.
dave landau
There's a lot of videos of people who think they're majestic and they're like eight feet away from them and it's like it's not bullwinkle it's an animal in the and then the next thing you hear is how they were killed.
joe rogan
Yeah it's not just that it's an animal that's like really good at stomping at oh boy does this guy get attacked?
I don't know it's just sometimes you just don't dude if I get an arrow you gotta you really gotta not miss Yeah, well this is rough too because he's coming straight at you and so you don't have a really good shot at his vitals so you have to take the most risky shot which is you're taking a frontal.
So what you're essentially, you have a very small arrow targeting, which is like the end of his beard.
dave landau
Yeah.
joe rogan
So his hair comes down, like you want to get it right here.
So what you're trying to do is shoot this arrow through basically like a softball size hole, maybe a little bigger than a softball size hole, and it'll go straight through, slice through the heart, the lungs, everything.
It's the most deadly shot if you can land it.
Right.
But you got a 1800 pound animal coming at you.
dave landau
You're shaking.
unidentified
It's huge.
joe rogan
You're right in front of it.
It's 30 yards.
You're not sure that you could hit that spot because your arm is shaking.
Because your arms are shaking.
You're filled with adrenaline.
dave landau
And you have to go for a softball sized spot on that thing.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
You really want it to be standing sideways, but it's not standing sideways because it's moving towards you in an offensive way.
You should probably just get the fuck out of this.
dave landau
Yeah, I would leave immediately.
joe rogan
Or get around a tree.
You want to get like where a tree is so you can stand behind the tree and like at least you can kind of maneuver a little bit.
dave landau
Is their sight poor?
joe rogan
Oh, yeah, they don't have a good sight.
dave landau
So that's kind of like the better way is to kind of get around.
joe rogan
They're kind of dumb.
dave landau
Yeah.
joe rogan
Because they're so big, they don't have to be smart.
dave landau
Yeah.
joe rogan
You know, and they don't, they don't have herds.
They're not like, you don't see herds of moose.
You see a bull moose, they're generally by themselves or maybe with a one or two others.
dave landau
Okay.
joe rogan
Yeah.
dave landau
I did not know that.
joe rogan
And then they come in and when they come in they're looking for pussy.
jamie vernon
Eyes that this one stares at.
dave landau
Oh, that's a.
Do you have a moose fucking you in the ass?
joe rogan
Yeah.
Staring right at your dog.
dave landau
Oh dude.
And with those eyes.
joe rogan
And he's fucking you also.
You better have a fucking powerful bow.
You gotta get into that rib cage.
Those ribs are thick as shit.
dave landau
So that spot is underneath that like beard and all that stuff that he's got right there.
joe rogan
It's right.
Like all.
But if you hit an animal there, they die so quick.
dave landau
Really?
joe rogan
See Google frontal shot kill on elk.
There's a famous video of these kids bo hunting.
And this elk comes in and gives his kid a frontal shot and he takes it at like twenty yards and the elk just stands there and then blood starts spraying out of it and it just tips over.
unidentified
Really?
joe rogan
Like right where it stands.
It's nuts.
It's the most lethal shot if you land it correctly.
But it's I've never taken it.
It's a tricky shot.
Like my friend Cam Haynes, probably the best bo hunter in the world.
dave landau
Okay.
joe rogan
He's taken frontal shots.
But the last time he took one it was like at 10 yards.
dave landau
Is that guy out of the game?
joe rogan
This isn't it.
This is, uh, this is not a frontal.
These are just Bills fighting.
Google, this is an elk.
Oh, insane frontal shot.
unidentified
Okay.
joe rogan
This isn't the one.
jamie vernon
Nothing came up.
Well, nothing came up when I checked the thing you just said.
joe rogan
So that's it, he got it right there.
So see how it spreads?
That was a perfect shot.
Oh, perfect shot.
He got it right.
If you watch where the impact is, oh, that's Corey Jacobson.
Watch where the impact of the arrow is.
It's right at the bottom of the beard.
See where it is?
Like right at the bottom of the beard.
That's perfect.
That's a perfect shot.
So that goes into the body cavity, severes all the arteries.
That bull's dead in seconds.
dave landau
But this animal seems kind of like.
joe rogan
That's crazy.
dave landau
Yeah, this it doesn't seem as good aggressive though as that moose.
joe rogan
No, no, no, no, no.
They're not aggressive.
They're looking for other elk.
He's looking for love.
dave landau
Yeah.
joe rogan
That's what he's looking for.
Looking for love or a fight.
dave landau
Okay.
joe rogan
Yeah.
dave landau
Because the moose looks like he just wants to kill the guy in the video.
Or at least attack him.
Oh, they did.
joe rogan
No, they'll kill you.
They will kill you.
I mean, I'm sure elk have killed people before, but they don't want to.
dave landau
Right.
joe rogan
A moose would chase you.
dave landau
Yeah.
joe rogan
A moose would chase you and stomp you.
especially a female moose that has her babies, You better stay the fuck away from her.
dave landau
Dude, yeah, no.
joe rogan
They will stomp you out of it.
My buddy was chased on horseback.
He barely got away from a cow moose.
dave landau
Seriously, going after him?
joe rogan
Yeah, going after him because it had calves with him, with her.
dave landau
Yeah.
joe rogan
And she was protecting her calves and he was on a horse.
And she looks at that horse like that's that might be an animal.
One that wants to stomp my babies.
And so she full clip, chased after him.
He's like, I barely got away.
Where was this at?
Edmonton.
Was it Edmonton?
No, BC.
dave landau
Okay, yeah.
unidentified
BC.
dave landau
Yeah, that makes sense.
Yeah, that's crazy.
Yeah, I don't know.
I would be terrified if I had to try to make that shot at a moose coming at me that size.
It's a sketchy shot.
joe rogan
It's a sketchy shot.
And it depends on what kind of broadhead you have too.
dave landau
Can you do it with a gun?
joe rogan
Oh yeah.
Oh, with a gun, you could shoot him anywhere.
dave landau
Yeah, I guess that's true.
joe rogan
With a gun, you just go through the shoulders.
dave landau
I just didn't know if it was like maybe arrow length or the reason it sticks in or something.
joe rogan
No, no, no, no, no.
You should, you could definitely do that with a gun.
The thing about an arrow is you only have so much energy.
like from a bow.
So if like you hit one of those big shoulder bones like you're you're fucked.
It's not going to kill the animal.
You're probably barely going to feel it.
So you have to be behind the shoulder.
You have to and then you, you know, if you don't have enough power, if you center punch a rib, probably not going to get a lot of penetration.
So you have to have a really powerful bow and a lot of guys stay away from mechanical broadheads.
They want like a really solid fixed blade broadhead.
It's a tricky kind of bow hunting.
dave landau
Yeah, that's cool though.
joe rogan
You're bow hunting something that can kill you.
dave landau
Yeah, which is that's game.
I mean, that's exciting.
joe rogan
That's why people like bear hunting.
dave landau
Unless you're the grizzly man guy who just is one of my favorite movies ever.
joe rogan
Because it's just I'm convinced Werner Herzog made that movie as a comedy.
dave landau
Oh, I think he did too.
joe rogan
Yeah.
dave landau
I'm surprised.
Like he says the ending is not the real footage.
joe rogan
No, there's no actual audio footage of that guy that's available.
If you listen online, footage that says it is, it's not real.
You can kind of tell they're acting.
He told the lady to destroy the actual audio.
dave landau
That's what I heard, yeah.
joe rogan
The lens cover was on the camera, but it there is audio and it's a long audio because bears don't kill you.
They just start eating.
dave landau
Right.
joe rogan
Yeah.
They just hold you down and eat you until you die.
dave landau
Which is apparent to that guy who was going around elementary schools telling people how bears aren't dangerous.
joe rogan
Yeah, that fucking guy.
dave landau
And then they're like, it's hibernation season.
You should go.
And he's like, no, but I got peanut and sprinkles and cocoa and they all love me.
He had all these little names for them.
joe rogan
It was Suicide by Bear.
dave landau
Oh yeah.
I mean, you can't just hang out there with It was that whole movie is just they said, like, I love when they're like, we think they think the bear like the bears just thought he was basically retarded meat.
joe rogan
Remember when the sheriff said that?
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Well, I thought he was retarded.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
I think it's just the way the movie is made.
It's just, there's too many times where someone says something ridiculous and then there's a smash cut.
I'm like, this guy's doing this on purpose.
Like, he wants you to laugh.
It's funny.
dave landau
It's got to be because he's like slapping a bear on the nose and he's like, No Skittles.
And then just turning around and doing the interview.
And you're just waiting for him to die, basically.
joe rogan
I have to be a warrior.
I have to let them know.
I stand my ground.
I love you.
I love you, Bear.
I'm a warrior.
dave landau
I'm just gonna put my tent here.
This is gonna be what you'll consider a plate and I'm just gonna hang out.
joe rogan
It's a burrito.
There's meat inside.
His girlfriend got killed too, which is really surprising.
dave landau
I'm surprised that, yeah, she had a girlfriend.
One, he had one, and two, she was like, She's probably surprised too.
Yeah.
I'll.
Is this guy gonna fuck me or is this Yeah, like I'm sure he didn't fuck her.
He didn't seem like that kind of guy.
He definitely had her killed.
joe rogan
He definitely seemed gay.
Yeah.
It seemed like that was part of his dilemma.
Like he wanted to be an actor and that didn't work for him.
So he started getting notoriety by being a bear expert.
unidentified
Right.
joe rogan
But he wasn't really a bear expert.
dave landau
No, he was just an idiot who would go into the forest and protect these bears.
He's really lucky.
joe rogan
The Forest Service won't protect him, you motherfuckers.
I'm protecting these bears.
dave landau
You leave them alone.
joe rogan
But that dude got some amazing footage.
I'll tell you that.
His footage was fucking incredible because he was living with them.
dave landau
Yeah.
joe rogan
So he got footage that nobody else was getting, like high resolution close-up footage of bear fights.
He became really good friends with a fox.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Foxes are fucking adorable.
They're like dogs, man.
dave landau
Yeah.
joe rogan
They are the closest thing to like playful.
They play with you.
They stole his hat.
Yeah.
They would come hang out with him.
He could scratch their head.
dave landau
Well, a lot of the people who find baby foxes and then just kind of raise them because their parents left them.
That's amazing.
joe rogan
There's an Instagram page that I follow.
Bedoo the Fox.
Check this out.
It's like a little tiny fox that this guy has raised.
Yeah.
And it's so adorable.
It's so adorable.
It's such a This is really cool.
Here he is.
So this guy brings this fox with him everywhere.
Look at that cute little fox.
He's so cute.
dave landau
Yeah, they're adorable.
joe rogan
But he hides other stuff.
He's playful.
dave landau
Yeah.
joe rogan
But this guy has this fox as a pet and, you know, and see, show the things where he's like cuddling with it.
Like he's, look at it.
dave landau
Yeah, it's just a straight up fox.
joe rogan
He's a little buddy, yeah.
It's adorable, it's like an adorable little dog.
dave landau
The reptilians are kind of funny too, when it just like learns how to open the fridge and take out a fox.
unidentified
He's on a leash, he's walking like a fox on a leash.
joe rogan
But he has to put on a leash, because the fucker won't come back.
No.
No, I'm free.
dave landau
Yeah, he's like, this is where I belong.
joe rogan
Yeah.
dave landau
He's just trying to run from the guy, but he's on a leash.
joe rogan
Look at his face, aww.
dave landau
He's the huge ears.
joe rogan
Incredible.
That thing probably hears a owl farting a mile away.
Like, look at his face so fucking cute man yeah they really are they're really cool animals yeah and people have done this where they raise them but yeah i think it's at least makes weird faces yeah i just think it's one of those things where you have to be around them all the time you know yeah i think if it's i guess i don't know but if it's abandoned young enough to where it's attached to you there's something there yeah no you definitely can raise them people have raised them but and people have raised coyotes that same way too oh yeah but you you have to be around them all the time
because they're wild yeah like you're just tricking them into like by constantly giving them food and attention so they feel like they don't have to do anything else that they really feel instinctual about doing, like going out and killing a cat.
dave landau
Oh yeah.
Well, there's a there's a place called Oswald Bear Ranch.
joe rogan
Oh, look, he's got a cat.
This cute little fox is like half the size of the cat.
He wants to play with the cat.
It's adorable.
The cat is not like happy though.
dave landau
No.
joe rogan
When you see a cat with its tail like that, that's a really pissed off cat.
dave landau
Well, the cat doesn't want to play with its owner, let alone whatever that thing is.
joe rogan
Well, the cat looks like it's on a surprise.
dave landau
Yeah.
It is.
joe rogan
The cat's fat as fuck.
unidentified
Yeah.
dave landau
It was actually a male cat does not identify that way anymore.
joe rogan
That cat is a school shooter.
Is it going to the po go to the pound, shoot it up.
dave landau
Just going to take out everybody at the pet store.
Just one after the other.
joe rogan
The story of wolves, like how we turn wolves into dogs is pretty fucking insane.
dave landau
It is amazing how we do just kind of have these wolves in our house, but we made them cuter by design over centuries.
This is my wolf poodle, which is essentially what it is.
It's incredible.
joe rogan
Well, and then you get them down to like I have a King Charles Spaniel.
You know what those things are?
unidentified
Yep.
joe rogan
He's that big.
dave landau
Yeah.
joe rogan
He's the fucking cutest thing on earth.
Yeah.
That, if you go far enough back, that's a wolf.
dave landau
Oh, yeah.
joe rogan
How did they do that?
dave landau
I have a King Charles Spaniel.
Charles's annual poodle.
unidentified
Ah.
Yeah.
dave landau
And his name is Higgins.
joe rogan
As if the King Charles Spaniel wasn't gay enough.
dave landau
Exactly.
I had to make sure he wears bow ties.
You know, like a wolf would.
joe rogan
Bow ties.
Oh my gosh.
dave landau
Whenever you get his haircut, they put him in a bow tie.
joe rogan
That's adorable.
dave landau
And I'm just like, it's so cute, but it's also the case.
joe rogan
Oh, that's adorable.
dave landau
But yeah, his name is Higgins and he's the best dog, but he's small.
And I've always had big dogs.
And I kinda just like the fact that he's kind of small and just really wants to sit there.
joe rogan
He just wants to chill.
dave landau
He'll go for a walk, but he's not dying to.
joe rogan
The breed the furthest removed and physically characteristic by wolves is the Cavalier King Charles Spaniel.
dave landau
Yeah, mine's, mine's called the Cavapoo.
joe rogan
That's the one I have.
dave landau
Yeah, I have a mix of that and a poodle.
joe rogan
The Cavalier King Charles Spaniel, one of the most popular breeds in UK and US, probably because of their lap dog reputation.
Yeah.
They're adorable dogs.
Oh, they're so sweet.
dave landau
I love them, man.
joe rogan
That's the furthest removed physically and characteristically from a wolf.
dave landau
Yeah.
It has, I mean, he's funny.
Like, he'll grab his toy.
He's got this lamb and he'll just like jump in the window at giant dogs and just start shaking it and like try to intimidate them.
That's funny.
And I'm like, you're in a fucking little bow tie.
He looks so gay.
He's probably trying to play with them.
joe rogan
Because my dog loves to play with w Marshall, my golden.
Dude, it's very like he's very good friends.
dave landau
Yeah, he's very playful.
joe rogan
Yeah.
dave landau
Yeah, because we have, I'm just going to announce all the more dogs that I have and feel worse as this goes.
A heavenese.
joe rogan
What's that?
dave landau
It's like a little, we don't have the long hair cut on it, but you know those long hair, like almost show dogs?
joe rogan
Okay.
dave landau
And it's, yeah, just a heavenese puppy.
unidentified
Oh, wow.
dave landau
But we have, see the like top right corner?
She looks like that.
So, that's the other dog.
And she's the best.
And she's insane.
Like, not the smartest dog you'll ever meet.
I love her meat and that's one of the things I love about her.
joe rogan
Well, they don't have to be smart.
unidentified
No.
joe rogan
It's like rich kids on trust funds.
They're not so fucking smart either.
dave landau
Yeah, they're the most privileged of the dog community.
unidentified
Yeah.
dave landau
Yeah, there's no doubt about that.
joe rogan
Most likely to be a they them.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
That's all they them.
They're not poor kids.
dave landau
No, well, we're the ones cutting off their balls and spying them.
unidentified
Right.
dave landau
Yeah, they're all.
joe rogan
They're all too, right?
They're all trans.
dave landau
Yeah, they're all a little angry at us.
joe rogan
My dogs have their balls.
dave landau
Oh, do they really?
joe rogan
Always.
Yeah.
I don't fix my dogs.
dave landau
See, we had already had them fixed when we got them.
joe rogan
I had a really good vet when I first moved to LA and I always thought you have to fix dogs.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Because they're like Bob Barker.
Spying new to your pets.
unidentified
Yeah.
Yep.
joe rogan
Bob Barker was always at the end of every show.
Yep.
Turn your pets trans.
What about just don't be a irresponsible dog owner and let your dog have puppies that nobody wants.
What about you just be a responsible dog owner and let your dog have its natural fucking hormones.
Yeah.
Because when you cut their balls off, they get tired.
They get depressed, they have no energy.
dave landau
Testosterone.
joe rogan
There's testosterone.
dave landau
Yeah, gone.
joe rogan
What happens to people when their testosterone goes?
You get depressed.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
You get depressed and you have no energy.
That's the same shit that happens to your dog.
dave landau
Yeah.
And that's why he's in a bow tie.
joe rogan
And my vet was, he told me that.
I was like, I can't believe it.
He goes, look, nobody wants to hear it.
Everybody wants to tell you.
Spam and new to your dogs.
But characteristically, if you look at how a dog behaves, I see a change.
The moment they cut now, look, if you have an overly aggressive dog, that's a different story.
If you have a dog that you probably should train, that's probably what it is.
Probably needs obedience training and probably needs a lot of attention and probably needs a lot of exercise, but if you cut your dog's balls off, it won't be the same dog.
dave landau
No.
And I mean, the next dogs I have, I probably won't.
You know, but it's just something that you're used to for so long.
And like with Bob Barker, I get control of the pet population so there's not dogs running all over the streets that have to be euthanasied all the time.
Yeah.
joe rogan
But if it's not, it's terrible.
dave landau
If it's your own dog, though.
joe rogan
But again, that's just bad bad dog owners.
dave landau
Yeah, that's what I mean.
joe rogan
It's just like people are bad parents and their kids wind up, you know, joining a gang and shooting people up.
It's like, it's a lot of the same kind of shit, man.
dave landau
It's the same, it's literally the same thing.
I mean, when you, like, years ago they were doing articles, not to bring it back to my hometown, but like in Detroit where you would see dog gangs roving together, they take over a house and like, you know, they, I remember one house was like filled with pit bulls and stuff, but it was a black lab that was like the king's shed at this house.
unidentified
Really?
dave landau
Yeah, it was crazy.
And but probably the smartest one.
I think that it must have been that.
Because like when like Rolling Stone, I think it was, showed up and they were like, holy shit, it's a black lab that's in charge of like all these pit bulls and that was like their king.
joe rogan
And but to say Well, probably they're good hunters.
Maybe that's what it is.
dave landau
Well, because you do.
joe rogan
The Labradors are hunting dogs.
dave landau
Yeah.
Well, that's true.
Because like you would see just packs of dogs going down the street when it was at its most like empty.
joe rogan
God, I heard about a lady that got killed by a pack of dogs in Georgia a few years back.
dave landau
Oh, they'll do it.
joe rogan
Yeah, wild dogs.
She was hiking and feral dogs attacked her.
dave landau
Yeah.
And that's a rough way to go.
That's terrible.
joe rogan
A rough way to go.
dave landau
Because there was probably a minute where she was like, Oh, dogs.
joe rogan
I doubt it.
dave landau
Yeah.
joe rogan
I doubt it.
dave landau
No, most people do get scared.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
They should.
dave landau
Yeah, well, especially if you're on like a mountain.
joe rogan
If you don't know the dog, like, it could be anything.
dave landau
Yeah, never go up to a dog the way that people tell you that you should.
joe rogan
Put your hand out.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
I'm your friend.
dave landau
Look, I'm your body.
It's like just stand there.
joe rogan
Stand your ground.
dave landau
Yeah.
joe rogan
Look at it, keep an eye, and hopefully have a gun.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Hopefully have a gun.
dave landau
I just shot your doodle.
I overreacted.
But yeah, there's those you can't, but.
joe rogan
That's a problem too.
dave landau
Yeah.
joe rogan
Yeah.
dave landau
But yeah, when you just stand there and kind of let the dog smell you, that's what they do.
That's right.
They just want to get to know who you are, so let them.
And just kind of, yeah, keep an eye., don't act scared.
What you shouldn't do is run and start screaming.
joe rogan
Yeah.
No, they like that.
unidentified
Yeah.
dave landau
They think it's fun.
They think it's a play.
joe rogan
Yeah.
dave landau
Or a time to play.
joe rogan
They're going to kill you and have fun.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Yay.
Look, this is, we got a screamer.
Boys.
Hey.
As if there's not enough problems in the world, do you have to worry about roving packs of wild dogs taking folks out?
dave landau
And bears fighting in your cul de sac.
unidentified
Yeah.
dave landau
You don't see that at all.
joe rogan
They're trying to bring bears back to certain states now.
They're trying to reintroduce grizzly bears, these fucking dorkes.
dave landau
Why do they reintroduce animals that went extinct in an area for a reason?
That's why they're so excited.
joe rogan
Well, they didn't go extinct, they were made extinct.
dave landau
Yeah.
joe rogan
Right, like California California has a grizzly bear on its flag.
dave landau
Right.
joe rogan
But there's no grizzlies in California because they killed them all because they were killing all these people.
dave landau
Right.
joe rogan
The last guy that got killed in California by a grizzly bear, they actually named a town after him.
dave landau
Really?
joe rogan
Lavec, California.
dave landau
Is it named after a guy that was murdered by a grizzly bear?
joe rogan
His name was Steven Lavec.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
He was the last man in California to be killed by a grizzly bear before they killed them all.
dave landau
Are they trying to bring him back to California?
joe rogan
Yeah, of course they are.
dave landau
Oh, that's smart.
joe rogan
Look, they brought wolves back to Detroit.
They brought wolves to an area of Colorado that's right outside of Aspen and people are losing their fucking minds.
Yeah.
Because they brought these wolves that they had captured in Oregon because they were killing cattle.
dave landau
Yeah.
joe rogan
And then they reintroduced them to Colorado where they ski.
Wait for it, kill cattle.
They've been killing cattle like crazy.
They brought them out to like these ranching areas and they've killed so many cows out there, man.
I have a buddy who has a ranch out there.
He sends me pictures all the time of these cows that they find just torn apart.
dave landau
Yeah.
joe rogan
Like baby cows, calves just ripped to shreds.
Oh.
Yeah.
dave landau
Well, they did the same.
I want to say it was like near Dollywood.
Didn't they do that too?
Or like wolves had finally gone away in that area in the mountains?
Where's Dollywood?
It's near, it's in Tennessee, near.
joe rogan
Is there wolves in Tennessee?
dave landau
I think they tried to reintroduce them.
joe rogan
Any red wolves?
dave landau
Yeah, like I took a tour through the forest.
Like I had to go.
I didn't want to go.
It wasn't my thing, believe it or not.
But I went, we went as like a family trip.
And, you know, it's, it's terrible.
And somebody recognized me and that was the worst.
It was at like a fake Dolly Parton show.
Oh, but like, are you Dave Landau?
I'm like, oh fuck, really now?
So, but we went through the forest.
and they were saying that they were reintroducing animals into that area.
And it's like, why would you do that?
And I guess they had just taken down like a Krispy Kreme because like bears just destroyed it?
joe rogan
Well, that wouldn't be reintroduction.
That area the bears have always been there.
Okay.
But if they're reintroducing a wolf, it has to be the red wolf.
unidentified
Okay.
joe rogan
The red wolf is endangered and it's a small wolf.
It's a wolf that's like maybe the size of a large coyote.
dave landau
Yeah, there it is.
joe rogan
Red wolves are returning to the Smoky Mountains.
dave landau
There you go, yeah.
joe rogan
Yeah, but it's like that, that photo is a little deceptive.
When you see a red wolf, they're pretty small.
Like, what is the average size of a red wolf?
Google that, Jamie.
dave landau
Yeah, like that picture of the bear walking.
We saw that a lot just walking down, like while we were there.
joe rogan
Oh, you're going to see a lot of bears.
And they'd be like 50 to 60 pounds.
dave landau
Yeah, they'd be like tumbling like cubs and stuff down the road.
joe rogan
That's like a red wolf, it's probably, you know, it's a 50 pound animal.
dave landau
Okay, so.
joe rogan
They're not they're not a gray wolf.
Yeah, it's not.
Gray wolves are fucking scary.
dave landau
Terrifying.
joe rogan
Yeah.
dave landau
Yeah.
joe rogan
They're big.
dave landau
Yeah, I would not want to go, I don't know, that's a scary animal.
Any time I've seen one, they just don't look friendly and I don't.
joe rogan
Well, I mean, they killed them off for a reason.
The reason why, I mean, look, Little Red Riding Hood, fucking there's all these stories with kids where they get eaten by wolves.
Because wolves eat kids..
dave landau
Well, yeah, it was a way to scare the kids into being aware of what was going on.
joe rogan
Bro, do you know the World War One story?
dave landau
No.
joe rogan
Okay.
World War One, the Germans and the Russians had a ceasefire because so many of them were getting killed by wolves.
They made an agreement to have a ceasefire and kill the wolves and then go back to fighting.
Seriously?
Yeah.
Because they were in trench warfare.
So they're in Russia and Russia has big wolves.
dave landau
Yeah, huge.
joe rogan
So what happens with animals, with warm blooded animals, is the more north the animal goes, the larger its body size is.
dave landau
Okay.
joe rogan
And they think it's to retain heat.
So if you look like a deer and like let's say a white tailed deer.
A white tailed deer that you see in Texas is a small deer.
dave landau
Yeah.
joe rogan
Like if I see a white tailed deer, generally, like I see them all the time on my way to work.
A white tailed deer might, a female might be like fifty, sixty pounds, a male might be a hundred, one hundred and twenty pounds.
Yeah.
In Saskatchewan, you might get a three hundred pound white tail.
dave landau
Okay.
joe rogan
They're way bigger.
dave landau
Yeah.
joe rogan
way bigger.
dave landau
Oh, yeah.
joe rogan
Okay.
Wolves do the same thing.
They're bigger up there.
They're bigger animals up there.
Like bears are bigger.
Polar bears are huge.
unidentified
Yeah.
dave landau
Polar bears are in their natural state.
joe rogan
Yeah, they have to retain heat.
dave landau
Yeah.
joe rogan
So when you go to northern kind of climates, when you're dealing with an animal in northern climates, that's going to be a bigger version of that animal.
So if you see a wolf in like Alberta, yeah.
That's going to be a bigger wolf than a wolf that you'd see in Mexico.
Those are smaller wolves.
dave landau
Right, because they don't have to survive in the same elements.
joe rogan
Exactly.
They don't.
Yeah.
It's also there's no benefit to to have a large size of your body to retain, maintain heat.
That's why moose are in the most upper north part of the country.
dave landau
Yeah.
joe rogan
They're the largest of all the deer species.
dave landau
Oh, that would make sense though.
Yeah.
Yeah.
joe rogan
Like elk are like larger than deer.
You know, it's like, and then the elk that are the further north, like those like Montana, some giant fucking elk, Wyoming, giant elk.
And that's the, you know.
dave landau
Yeah, when you get towards Canada too, a lot of those places where it's just cold, you get those massive animals.
joe rogan
Yep, yep, yep.
And what were we talking about that I brought that up?
We were talking about wolves.
dave landau
Wolves, the one, the red wolf being brought back to Kentucky.
joe rogan
Yeah, so those are small because they're in like a warm climate.
dave landau
Yeah, that makes sense.
joe rogan
Yeah.
dave landau
It's just odd to me to think that when you even hear the word wolf, like we're just going to going to reintroduce it to this tourist area.
It's like, it seems bad.
joe rogan
Well, it's all these people that are liberals that are like sweet, kind people that like, this is Jared Polis, the governor of Colorado.
He's a nice guy.
He's a sweet guy.
dave landau
Yeah.
joe rogan
He just posted some really kind tweet the other day, like, oh, he seems like a good guy.
But hey, don't bring wolves back to ranching areas.
Because like, you can have these idealistic, utopian views, utopia based views of what you think a wolf would be like back in the wild.
But no, they're going to, they take the easiest path possible.
The easiest path possible.
Oh, there's a bunch of animals that are stuck in a fenced in area that I don't know.
If I had a fenced in area that I could just hop over, I'll just go kill one and eat it.
And that's what they do.
And so these farmers now have to hire people 24/7 to be patrolling around their animals.
So it's a they're already operating at a very low margin, right?
If you're a farmer and a rancher, you lose a bunch of cows.
You're fucked.
So now the state has to compensate them for depredation.
So every time a wolf kills a cow, they compensate them.
would cost the state more money.
Oh, so they got to pay for the...
And then now they have depredation permits on some of these wolves because they're repeat offenders.
So now they're trying to kill these wolves that they've spent millions and millions of dollars reintroducing to Colorado.
And it's all silly people.
It's what's called ballot box.
biology.
Yeah.
Wildlife conservationists and hunters and people that are spending time in the woods, they hate it.
They hate it because it's mostly uninformed people that think they're doing a good thing.
Like, let's stop trophy hunting.
dave landau
Yeah, we have to.
joe rogan
Yeah, we have to stop hunters.
Hunters are evil.
Like, no bitch, bears are evil.
They will fucking eat you asshole first, in front of your kids.
They don't care.
dave landau
Well, it's like when they put in an insect to kill an insect that's getting out of control.
joe rogan
Always works bad.
dave landau
Yeah, so like in Michigan it was like ladybugs, but all of a sudden now there were ladybugs everywhere and this kind could bite you.
So they were some kind of beetle that was this massive problem all of a sudden.
And it was to help control the fish fly problem or mayflies, people might know them as.
joe rogan
Yeah.
dave landau
And they're just because you drive down to the water, dude, and it just, it's like, sounds like Rice Krispies as you drive because you're just hitting so many of these things.
But it didn't help that problem.
It just created a horrible beetle problem.
joe rogan
Yeah.
dave landau
And then there was something else going on in the lake, so they introduced zebra muscles.
joe rogan
Oh yeah.
We did that out here too.
dave landau
Dude, they destroyed boats.
They cut up people's feet that were swimming.
joe rogan
Yeah, it killed everything.
dave landau
Yeah, it backfired completely.
And it's like, so you're just introducing this, like,, poison into the air and into the water that you think will benefit this.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
So they have too much vegetation on some of these lakes.
So what they do is they sterilize carp and then introduce these sterilized carp, but sometimes they're not sterile.
And sometimes they just start breeding.
And then the carp basically eats all the vegetation.
And so then your entire lake looks like the bottom of a swimming pool.
dave landau
Right.
It's gone.
joe rogan
There's no more grass.
So the fish don't know where to hide.
So it's, like, not as effective for them.
They don't get as big.
So all the bass fishermen are mad because there's no, like, habitat.
dave landau
Right.
joe rogan
Yeah.
It's all fucked up.
dave landau
And that's happened, yeah, with Michigans.
We do have a lot of fishermen, bass fishermen, you know, that go out there.
and you can go into pretty small pond areas and lakes because the Great Lakes and still catch some stuff.
But once you start messing with the habitat, it goes bad for a long time.
joe rogan
Oh yeah, man.
Well, look at Australia.
Australia has done a terrible job of introducing invasive species to combat problem animals.
dave landau
Oh yeah.
joe rogan
And now they have feral cats that have essentially wiped out most of their ground nesting birds and all sorts of other things.
Cats are the worst, man.
Little, cute little house cats.
Yeah.
They are the worst murderers of all the animal kingdom.
dave landau
Well, and they think birds are a nice present for you.
That's the first thing they're going to go after, just kill them.
joe rogan
Birds and rats.
Yeah.
And that's why like the crazy cat lady thing is a real thing too, because they also contain parasites.
And that parasite, toxoplasmosis, is it affects humans.
It affects behavior.
It makes you more impulsive, more aggressive.
Yeah.
Really?
Yeah, yeah.
It's a it's a crazy parasite that is at one point in time half of France had toxoplasmosis.
dave landau
Really?
joe rogan
Yeah, yeah, because of of feral cats.
It might have been half of Paris or half of France.
I don't remember.
But a large in rural areas where you have a lot of feral cats.
unidentified
Okay.
dave landau
Okay, I don't know if it was like Richard.
joe rogan
Have you ever known people that have like outdoor cats?
They're very irrational.
dave landau
Yes.
joe rogan
Mark Marin?
Those people probably have Toxo, which is why they're behaving weird.
dave landau
Yeah.
Why was it?
joe rogan
Yeah, that's what's going on.
It's like, I guarantee if you test it, I might have it.
I had a feral cat.
dave landau
I've never had a feral cat, but I've definitely had ones that would stop by the house.
joe rogan
I had a feral cat.
A friend of mine, and her and her boyfriend rescued a bunch of kittens that were under this building, and she, it was in Santa Monica, and she said, Do you want a kitten?
He was so cute, and I took him in, and I actually had to stay with this cat for like days in one of the rooms of my house because like when I picked him up he would purr and he'd be sweet.
As soon as I put him down he'd hiss at me and jump and leap away.
He was wild.
dave landau
Like claws and everything.
joe rogan
It took a forever for me to just calm him down.
And then after a while, I could just come up to him and pick him up.
Like when he was a full grown cat, he was totally my friend.
But no one else, no one else could pet this cat.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
You come up to my house, he would hiss at you like, like he was ready to go to war.
Which.
He was crazy.
But I would go, no dude, he was just wild.
He's wild.
And I'd pick him up and he'd start purring.
But he would purr like no other cat would purr.
Because when he knew that you just loved him and that you weren't going to eat him, when I picked him up, he just purr.
He was so happy to be held.
He was so happy to be pet.
But then as soon as I put him down, he would look at me sketchy and run away.
He was just fucked up, man.
dave landau
My grandma had that.
She was crazy though.
Like she, like as she got older, she had like this old mansion.
And I don't know how she got it, but it was one of those things where like when you're Catholic, you just have 87 kids.
So the house was big, but now it looks huge to people.
joe rogan
So she just had cats?
dave landau
Towards the end, she had a few cats and just she would have like those Tom and Jerry mouse holes in the house.
Like where you would see them coming and out of where they.
And dude, she would kept the spiders because they thought she thought it was part of the ecosystem.
joe rogan
Oh, great.
dave landau
So you're looking up, like, I'd have to sleep there and I'm just, like, staring at a brown recluse, like, shaking at the age of, like, eight.
joe rogan
Those will fucking leave giant holes in you, man.
dave landau
So they will kill it.
My brother got bitten by one and his leg turned into a softball and he had to go.
Yeah, she was nuts, dude.
Like she.
joe rogan
It's just necrotic.
dave landau
Yeah.
joe rogan
Where it eats away the tissue.
dave landau
Dude, and it went like that.
Like, he got bit and by the time he got to the hospital, it just kept getting big.
It went from like a golf ball to a softball to, like, and they had to hit him with all this, like, antivenom.
It was nuts, dude.
joe rogan
My friend Jeremy had a hole in his thigh where you had to stuff gauze in it because it was constantly oozing.
dave landau
Yeah, that's what it is.
Like they start, it starts chewing away at your skin.
joe rogan
Yeah, it's necrosis.
dave landau
Yeah, my brother's got a scar from it, dude.
It's disgusting.
joe rogan
Brown recluses are dangerous, man.
dave landau
But she was not.
She had like a casino in her basement that she ran.
unidentified
She taught us.
joe rogan
That sounds so fun.
dave landau
It really was when we were kids too.
Like we're dealing like blackjack and playing slow.
joe rogan
She had a casino in her basement.
dave landau
Yeah, it was fun.
Like, and then she was in, she was a recovering Elky.
Like, she had beads everywhere.
Like, I didn't know what that was then.
joe rogan
Oh, like 30 day beads.
dave landau
Yeah, and like, so then later on, well, it was actually like for Mardi Gras.
She had all the stuff for Mardi Gras.
So later in my life, I'm like, oh, my grandma was a whore.
unidentified
So, but I didn't realize it until later.
joe rogan
There's a cat lady whore with a fucking casino in her basement.
dave landau
She's like a cat lady casino whore who thinks spiders are part of an ecosystem.
joe rogan
And she's kind of right.
dave landau
I mean, she's not wrong.
They would eat the mosquitoes.
That was her thing.
joe rogan
Yeah.
dave landau
But you'd also have like, I think it's a black widow in your garage.
And it's like, yeah, so don't go near it.
And I'm like, you want to protect your spider?
Like, she was just nuts, dude.
But, uh Yeah, she was in recovery, but then she also had an entire bar.
where you could just make drinks.
So we're like six and like looking through how to make some pudding martini.
It's so, it's so much fun.
joe rogan
So she kept the drinks even though she was clean?
dave landau
Yeah, she was clean, yeah.
joe rogan
Wow.
dave landau
I've done that too myself though, because if people come over I'm like, yeah, whatever you want, man.
joe rogan
Yeah, I stopped drinking and I have a full bar at my house.
Yeah.
I have a wine room.
It's like such a wasted room.
dave landau
Yeah.
joe rogan
Just a room filled with bottles of wine that I now I'll never drink.
dave landau
Yeah, I have, I have probably ten bottles and it's if someone wants one.
joe rogan
Yeah, come over.
Like, I'll judge you.
dave landau
Yeah, like mine.
joe rogan
You sit there and drink and I'll judge you.
You'll start acting stupid.
dave landau
Well, after my, like, last DUI was when I got it was like sixteen years ago and I had just built a bar in my basement and it's really nice and I still really like it.
But like, it was probably days later I got the DUI.
So I just like sit there and I'll just look at this bar and like, ah, it could have been Was that when you stopped drinking?
Yeah, it was my it was my thirteenth arrest.
It was my thirteenth arrest?
Yeah.
joe rogan
What was number one?
dave landau
The day I got my driver's license.
joe rogan
No.
unidentified
Yeah, for real.
dave landau
What did you do?
My dad had got a Buick Regal and it was around November because I was born in June, but they didn't let me get my driver's license because my grades were so bad.
And we were having a family reunion.
So we had everyone at the house.
My dad, we thought was doing a little better and we all went out to eat and I'm like, hey, can I borrow the car?
And he's like, yeah.
So we get home and my aunt had blocked the driveway thinking that I would probably end up taking the car and like her son out who was from Arizona.
And the one side of my house was the house and then the other side was my neighbor's lawn with a small pine tree and like rose bushes and stuff.
joe rogan
He just drove through the house.
dave landau
Yeah, I figured if I gingerly did it, it would be all right.
Dude, I fucked up her lawn.
We go, I can't pick up my friends.
We go down eight miles to this place called Piccadillyilly where we'd have this guy named Spider by, and he was fucking great.
He was this like a homeless dude who just was like, he'd always go, I'm Spider with a whh.
And he'd do that.
And then he was a total pervert.
He'd be like, he'd seriously offer to like, he'd be like, I'll jack you off too.
And we're like, we just want the beer.
But we do appreciate it.
Really, but thank you.
So like, he'd always be like, Somebody's got to come in with me to pick it up.
And we'd be fighting if we had to get out of the car to walk with this guy.
So we just bring the beer in.
We're driving around.
We start giving lawn jobs.
First, we did leaf pile fires because everybody would rake their leaves into the street.
So we started doing those, fun, good old-fashioned arson.
But usually it would stop pretty quickly.
Somebody would run out with a garden hose.
It totally was innocent until the one time it wasn't.
But we were driving around.
We went to some parties, smoking weed, all that shit.
And finally I get up on this one guy's lawn after a party.
He's got a Beamer 5 Series.
And I got my Regal, which it had a V6 turbocharged, which for a Buick, it wasn't bad for $9.
ninety eight But I got on this dude's lawn.
I see him sitting in his beamer.
And for some reason in my head, I'm just like, this guy's just going to sit here and take it.
So I just start giving him a lawn job.
I'm doing donuts.
You can hear grass hitting his car.
We get in a high speed chase with this dude.
Like, dude, I mean, like French connection style.
I hit, I swear, I hit this bump, man.
Four tires went off the ground because we just felt like the car popped to the ground.
And we get, we're just going all over the city.
My friends are like, let's just pull over and beat this shit out of him.
And I'm like, he could have a gun, you know?
So I finally go down this street that has like a bifurcation where it just splits immediately.
Like this, you have to go this way, this way.
You know what I mean?
And I didn't see it.
So I start braking because I'm going breaking it and the next thing I know the engine drops through the front of the car, all the airbags come out, I get cracked with an airbag and I'm unconscious like I'm not quite unconscious, I'm conscious just enough to see the BMW in my rear view drive away.
And then as I'm being knocked out, I hear all my friends and my own cousin leave.
Now here's the kicker.
We were having a family reunion.
I didn't realize that there was a bunch of cases of beer and liquor already in the trunk and chips and stuff.
So when I hit the tree, that popped open.
And it looked like I drove a Super Bowl party into the fucking tree.
There was just like beer and pop and chips and shit going down the street.
And finally, dude, I wake up from being unconscious and I get out of the car and there's a cop and my dad there.
joe rogan
When you wake up?
dave landau
When I get up.
Like I had been that.
Dude, I got knocked out so hard by that airbag.
joe rogan
Oh, my God.
dave landau
Because it just like all I could smell was that like burning talcum powder kind of smell.
Like that awful like...
want to say egggy almost it was just the worst smell but everybody else was able to run except me so it looked like i just bit it so i get out and i remember i look at my dad was and my dad wasn't violent.
He was in Nan, but he was never violent.
But I just look at him and I go, Dad, I'm okay.
And he goes, Great.
And he punched me in the face so hard that I hit the ground and was knocked out for the second time that night.
joe rogan
Oh, no.
dave landau
Dude, he cracked me hard.
joe rogan
Did he give you a second commotion?
dave landau
That night.
And I wake up.
joe rogan
That's not good.
dave landau
No, dude.
No, he was pissed.
joe rogan
I get it.
unidentified
Yeah.
dave landau
But then I wake up and the cops have a light on me.
And I swear to God, the cop goes, He's waking up if you want to hit him again.
It's the first thing I hear.
And I'm like, You guys, I'm really in a lot of pain here.
And my dad like apologized, but he's like, Look, like, what the fuckck is wrong with you?
He was just furious and I had already been getting into dope and stuff and he was getting pretty pissed on me.
But I got the guess number one.
DUI and I got six months suspended license.
unidentified
Wow.
dave landau
I went in front of a referee, is what they called it for juveniles at Coleman A Young municipal, and They gave me six months suspended license.
Did you have to talk you out of it?
Oh, out of being arrested?
joe rogan
I mean, like, how's that?
dave landau
No, my dad, I remember I was going to school one day and he goes, I just got the bill for the car.
I was like, yeah, he goes, it's 13,980 dollars here.
And I go, I don't have that money.
He goes, just show people so they know how proud I am of you.
I was like, thanks, thanks, dad.
Wow.
But he was furious.
joe rogan
I would imagine.
dave landau
But he let it go, I mean, he let it go after that because we had alcoholism in our family.
joe rogan
I couldn't believe that you were doing donuts on this guy's lawn right in front of him.
dave landau
Oh, dude, we did so much hit we shouldn't have done back then.
joe rogan
Was it just the crew you were hanging with?
dave landau
Yeah, like it was fun.
Like, I dude, we all we all just kind of wanted to be thugs.
It was a little sad.
joe rogan
Well, it is Detroit.
dave landau
Yeah, you want to be like you're in the suburbs, sort of.
Like, my house was in the suburbs, but you're literally three minutes from the most violent part of America at the time.
So you're on the border of the east side of Detroit.
So it's not like you can't hear gunshots.
You know what I mean?
It's like you're every drug and every party, you're going down to raves and warehouses that are owned by like the Russian mob.
Crazy.
joe rogan
Oh, fuck yeah.
unidentified
Wow.
dave landau
Dude, yeah.
joe rogan
When was you 18?
dave landau
Oh, yeah.
17, 18, 16, all those years, dude.
99, 2000, huge rave culture.
And then when the new mayor came in, Kwame Kilpatrick, who ended up getting arrested and put in jail and then Trump pardoned.
He started the Detroit Electronic Music Festival.
So he capitalized on that.
unidentified
Really?
dave landau
Yeah.
Do you remember when Ford Focus basically, or Ford.
Ford put out the Detroit Electronic Music Festival Focus?
joe rogan
No.
dave landau
Dude, it was basically a car designed for people on ecstasy.
unidentified
Like, the whole thing was speakers.
Really?
dave landau
Yeah, if you can find it, it's the Detroit, it was the Detroit, yeah, Electronic Music Festival Focus.
And the car was Was that a crazy sound system?
Yeah, because the car is a piece of shit.
So the whole thing is just speakers.
And the way they would do the ads, it was almost like, you go into a Are you on Eve?
Well, this car is great.
It has huge cup holders for your water.
It has great sound, you know.
joe rogan
Oh, that's hilarious.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
They were capitalized on it.
dave landau
On it.
And Hollywood did a little, because that's like when the movie Go came out.
And a lot of these movies that were almost.
It's with.
Go is the one where they're all.
joe rogan
I'm in that car first.
dave landau
They're all trying to get ecstasy in it, and it's just like Katie Holmes and all these other people who are like, some are different stars and some are...
Oh, I know.
And the whole thing is about E. I'm trying to think of his name.
You'd know him from the store, plays a bouncer in it.
joe rogan
Vince Vaughn?
dave landau
No, no, not Vince.
He's not really an actor.
He's more of a comic.
He used to work with Shamel, or not Shamel.
God, what is his name?
Blonde hair, older dude.
joe rogan
Jimmy Schubert?
dave landau
Yes.
He plays a bouncer in it, yeah.
joe rogan
Jimmy's the best.
dave landau
Yeah, he's great.
I did last comic with him, and he was a good dude.
joe rogan
Good dude.
dave landau
Yeah, I love him.
joe rogan
Jimmy for 35 years.
Yeah.
30 no, 30 years?
Somewhere in there?
dave landau
Yeah, he's a good dude, and he played a bouncer in it.
So yeah.
joe rogan
Where's that car?
Did you find it?
unidentified
Well, I found it doesn't show.
dave landau
I wonder how much they've scrubbed it, but if it's at the Detroit Music Festival.
jamie vernon
It's like a 2001 article, but it's called a Ford Focus Futura.
dave landau
For the Electronic Music Festival.
Futura.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, they've changed it up a bit with the Ventura, but yeah.
joe rogan
Go with speakers, right?
Speakers, interior.
dave landau
It was great, because you'd be walking to this music festival in heart.
Yeah, see the JBL speakers that would never be used in a Ford Focus.
joe rogan
Oh, that's what they had in them?
dave landau
Yeah.
They had like this.
joe rogan
Oh, so they had a badass sound system.
dave landau
Right.
And it was just this.
unidentified
Oh.
dave landau
This terrible little hatchback, you know...
know car that a young person could afford with a killer sound system in case you wanted to listen to bad boy bill or fat boy slam and you so you got a arrested 13 times?
Yeah.
joe rogan
So what was number two?
dave landau
Number two, let me think.
Two was an MIP.
joe rogan
What's that?
dave landau
Minor in possession of alcohol.
unidentified
Oh.
dave landau
And then that one was, like, a lot of them were MIPs, four were DUIs.
And then four.
Yeah, and then I got arrested.
joe rogan
How are you still, how did you still have a license?
dave landau
Most of it was as a minor, and then by the time I got my one as an adult, it like it had spanned enough to where in 2009 when I got arrested my last time and I decided to get sober, they couldn't technically put me in prison.
And I didn't want to go because I don't want to spend my days getting titty fucked by the Aryanan Brotherhood.
I know how I look.
So I I got clean.
But yeah, that one was the one that I took real seriously.
So what they did was they put an alcohol tether on my leg that would monitor if I was drinking.
And a breathilizer in my car.
So I would like, I'd have to blow start my car wherever I went.
You know, and like my friend Rob had that.
joe rogan
It would take like three minutes for him to start his car.
dave landau
Dude, it sucked.
And now they take pictures of you and stuff.
But that one, it would go off as you drive.
So you're like driving.
And like, I remember at one time a truck was jackknifing.
And then it's like, so I'm trying to dodge this truck from hitting me in the Grand Rapids snow while blowing my car so it doesn't stop.
joe rogan
No way.
dave landau
I swear to God.
They're so dangerous.
And I'm going around the country.
joe rogan
I didn't know they did it while you were driving.
dave landau
That's insane.
So they prove you're not drinking.
So like every 15 minutes it goes off at random, but you can't time it.
joe rogan
And you have to blow into it.
unidentified
Yeah.
dave landau
That's when people are like, can't you have somebody else blow?
And it's like, well, no.
Because you'd be like, can I drink and drive?
And you just hit shotgun and let me.
But yeah, you have to blow the whole time you're driving.
So that's what sucks about it.
So you have this constant thing.
And I was double jeopardy because I was a road comic.
So in 2009, yeah, dude, I'mm going into these bars and nightclubs and I'm like, Hey, do you have a phone jack I could use for a few minutes?
And they're like, Yeah, why?
And I'm like, Um, I got this ankle monitor and I had to plug it in somewhere to a phone jack so they can download to make sure I'm not drinking.
So I'd be in a bar, dude.
With my ankle with my fucking ankle.
joe rogan
Oh my god.
dave landau
Attached to the wall while they downloaded my alcohol.
joe rogan
How long did it take?
So it has like a modem?
Like a.
dave landau
Yeah, it would light, you know?
So it would let you know when you were done.
joe rogan
It would do it through the phone lines.
dave landau
Yeah, at that time.
unidentified
Wow.
dave landau
I'm sure there's something more high-tetech now, this was 09, but you had to have a phone jack and I'd have to call my probation officer and be like, this is the room I'm playing.
I'm in a bar, I was allowed to be in a bar, but if anybody spilled anything on me, right to jail.
joe rogan
Oh boy.
dave landau
Because like if I had any bit of like I had to use Tom's Everything, you know, all natural stuff, because anything could have alcohol in it.
joe rogan
Oh wow.
dave landau
So like I couldn't touch anything on a chance that, on the off chance that it would set off my monitor.
joe rogan
That's cra you know what's really crazy?
If you eat poppy seed bagels, you can get pop for heroin.
dave landau
Yeah, when you take a drug test for your job.
joe rogan
Isn't that nuts?
dave landau
Yeah.
joe rogan
A poppy seed bagel.
unidentified
Dude.
What is it?
joe rogan
A nice delicious bagel.
And you get popped for heroin.
dave landau
It's amazing.
You don't have anything else in your system but heroin.
joe rogan
I'm a tea toddler.
Right.
What's in your tea?
dave landau
Yeah.
What are you doing with it?
joe rogan
Yeah, they tell you, don't eat papay seeds.
Eat papay seeds before you go in for a drug test.
I wonder how long papay seed bagel stays in your system.
dave landau
Oh dude, I did a drug test too.
That sucks.
I never did the heroin one.
I didn't eat a lot of papay seeds, but I did buy a fake dick that they caught me with.
joe rogan
You had a urinator, a whizzinator, is that what they did?
dave landau
Yeah, it's called a whizzinator.
Yeah.
joe rogan
That's hilarious.
dave landau
Because I think they caught you with the fake dicks.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
How did they catch you?
dave landau
It was darker than me.
I'm not kidding.
joe rogan
Oh, boy.
dave landau
I bought the one.
I thought they'd be behind me.
joe rogan
They weren't.
dave landau
No, they were right here.
joe rogan
Because they know about the fake dicks.
dave landau
Yeah.
And I'm just like, I'm just going to squeeze these balls from some...
joe rogan
I got one for you.
I know a guy who to pass a steroid test.
dave landau
Yeah.
joe rogan
He was clearly on steroids.
He was a fighter.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
He injected someone else's urine into his bladder.
unidentified
Oh, God.
dave landau
Oh.
joe rogan
Yeah, so he got some bro science doctor in the fucking men's room shoving a large needle of piss into his bladder and then he pissed out somebody else's piss.
dave landau
Oh, God.
Did it work?
joe rogan
Oh, yeah.
unidentified
Oh, yeah.
dave landau
Hats off.
I mean, that's dedication.
jamie vernon
This basketball player came back pregnant when he took his drug test.
joe rogan
Using pregnant girlfriend's urine.
So what are they testing him for that he's worried about other than weed?
Is it weed?
dave landau
I'm guessing weed because it's a...
Plus, I don't think you're allowed to use it.
joe rogan
Wow.
dave landau
If you're on the team, but it was illegal then.
So they were probably still, which it's never been, I mean, for most people.
joe rogan
A year's suspension.
jamie vernon
In your prime in Bosnia.
unidentified
Is that what it was?
joe rogan
Oh.
As a naturalized player.
Well, he was, I wonder what they were testing him for.
I wonder what drugs they were actually testing him for.
What are they worried about finding?
dave landau
Yeah, because I bought, what was it called?
Urine luck.
That didn't work.
jamie vernon
Steroids and stuff, you know?
joe rogan
I guess.
But Jesus Christ, if I'm running a professional basketball organization.
I want people on steroids.
dave landau
I want to test anyone for anything.
joe rogan
I want them recovering.
I want them playing better.
dave landau
Yeah.
joe rogan
The whole steroid thing is so weird, you know, it's because it's just science.
They figured out a way to make humans perform better.
Like, so are we supposed to use some science, like you can use creatine, which at one point in time they used to treat creatine like it was steroids.
dave landau
Well, yeah, they did.
joe rogan
In the 1990s, it was like, you're taking creatine, you're basically taking steroids.
dave landau
Well, it was because of the Mark Maguire Jose Conseco thing.
joe rogan
Right.
I think that was a little later.
Wasn't it?
dave landau
I remember it was part of it because they were like, they're on creatine and everybody's like, are you sure?
joe rogan
No, they were on Anderstein Dion is what he was trying to say.
But it wasn't.
Yeah.
dave landau
It was steroids.
joe rogan
He was on hardcore shit.
dave landau
Well, because he got big.
McGuire went from like a farm boy to looking like one of the Looney Tunes characters from Space Jam.
Like the dude was just fucking stacked.
Just a home run after home run.
joe rogan
There's a video of McGuire hitting a home run.
as the bat is contacting the ball, you see see the bend to the bat because he's so strong he's whipping the bat so hard that it's bending in the air as it contacts the ball and it's even See if you can find that photo.
Yeah, it's ash.
It's like a very dense wood.
Yeah.
And he's whipping it so hard that it has a bend like a bow, like a bow and arrow.
And it's connecting the ball like perfectly on the sweet spot.
Look at that.
Look at the fucking amount of bend in that bat.
unidentified
That doesn't make any sense.
jamie vernon
That's on the Giants bat.
joe rogan
Well, that's someone else.
But look at the one above it.
dave landau
Oh, the one right there though.
joe rogan
That's the McGuire one.
I'm talking.
McGuire's right there.
dave landau
That's a bend bat.
joe rogan
That's it.
No, right there, Jamie.
dave landau
It looks like he's done the spoon trick.
joe rogan
Okay, whoever it is.
But look at it.
That's what I'm talking about.
dave landau
Oh, you're right.
joe rogan
It's a bass.
So when a guy is swinginging it full clip, that's what happens to the bat, which is crazy.
dave landau
That is completely cra Royd's.
joe rogan
That's him.
Oh my god, that's nuts.
Look at that bat.
It looks like it's made of rubber.
That's so crap.
Oh, imagine the fucking force your body has to generate to do that to one of those bats.
dave landau
And meanwhile, Pete Rose never gets inducted.
joe rogan
I know.
dave landau
Dude, I met him, I liked him.
joe rogan
I know.
That didn't make any sense.
He's just gambling.
It didn't hinder his play.
dave landau
No.
joe rogan
I mean, there was some concern that maybe he bet against his team.
dave landau
That's what it was, yeah.
joe rogan
Yeah, he probably did.
dave landau
Yeah, he says he didn't, but.
jamie vernon
He's gonna allow him in, or he's gonna be eligible, I believe.
dave landau
Yeah, I figured.
joe rogan
Posthumously though.
dave landau
Yeah, I figured, yeah, that's what they were going to do.
joe rogan
Yeah, but that's not cool.
No, he's dead.
He should have done it while he's alive.
dave landau
No, and he'd been around sitting in the MGM in Vegas signing shit for a long time.
And he was, you know.
joe rogan
Great player.
dave landau
Yes, he was.
He's amazing.
joe rogan
I mean, just because a guy does something like that doesn't mean he didn't do amazing things playing.
And that's what it's supposed to be all about.
The guy was an all star.
He was one of the greatest of all time.
And they took it away from him because he likes gambling.
dave landau
Yeah.
joe rogan
Guess what?
That's also probably why he was so fucking good, because he was wild.
dave landau
Yes, exactly.
joe rogan
He was a wild boy.
dave landau
It's true.
unidentified
Yeah.
And look at Jordan.
dave landau
Oh, dude.
joe rogan
Degenerate gambler.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
The greatest basketball player who ever walked the face of the fucking earth.
dave landau
Yeah.
And degen like Pete Rose's dad wasn't taken out of the game.
joe rogan
He comes from the same place, man.
He comes from the same place.
dave landau
Yeah, same deal.
Well, yeah, because there's a part of you that wants to do risky things if you're willing to go that far.
unidentified
Yeah.
dave landau
You have to have that element in.
Yeah.
So you kind of want to go like, yeah, he threw a few games with the confidence that the team would still be fine.
That's kind of amazing.
If he did.
joe rogan
That's the guy chasing money.
He's probably, he's probably, well, that, the thing they said about Jordan was is he wouldn't pay.
dave landau
Yeah, that's, yeah.
joe rogan
Yeah.
dave landau
Yeah, there's a lot of shady shit that happened.
joe rogan
Well, that was that golf hustler thatler that beat him out of hundreds of thousands of dollars and then wrote a story about it because Jordan wouldn't pay him.
And it kind of started getting out.
And then Jordan's father got murdered.
That's who I am.
There's a lot there.
Yeah.
dave landau
Yeah, the connection with that people may have taken out his father over gambling debts, which is rarely talked about.
joe rogan
You know, here's another connection that I never considered until recently.
Remember when Cosby's kid got murdered?
dave landau
Ah, yeah.
joe rogan
And everybody was like, Oh, it's just a random crime.
Maybe not.
dave landau
Right.
I don't think it was now.
joe rogan
Well, now you know what Cosby did.
Imagine if he did that to someone's daughter and they said, Oh, well, guess what?
dave landau
Because he wasn't robbed.
joe rogan
Right.
dave landau
They didn't take anything.
Right.
He was just changing a tire.
joe rogan
Yeah.
dave landau
And who knows if he even was?
They could have flagged him down.
joe rogan
Exactly.
Who knows if he even was?
dave landau
Yeah.
joe rogan
Or who knows if they maybe flattened his tire?
dave landau
Exactly.
To catch him.
joe rogan
Yeah.
They know he's going to drive, flatten his tire, let him drive off a little bit, and he's eventually going to have to stop and pull over.
dave landau
It seems so random to just kill someone for fun.
joe rogan
It's rare.
dave landau
Yeah, very rare.
joe rogan
And when you know what Cosby did, it makes you go, Oh, maybe there's something there.
dave landau
And now the stuff that has come out is so, dude, it's so dark.
joe rogan
I heard this lady say that he might be the most prolific serial rapist in history.
dave landau
I don't doubt it.
joe rogan
Can you imagine how insane that is?
The guy who is the, you know, mister Huxtable?
Dude.
Doctor Huxtable, head of the fucking family in the most wholesome sitcom.
Everybody loved it.
Crossed the race barrier, made everyone think of, like, this black family as, like, incredibly respectful and well put together.
And how great is this?
Dude, fresh air.
Cosmies a myth.
dave landau
All that doesn't exist without him.
unidentified
Right.
dave landau
Yeah.
joe rogan
Right, right, right.
dave landau
And he had a gynecological office in his basement, which he just slid past everyone on the show.
joe rogan
He had a gynecological office?
dave landau
Yeah, doctor Huxtable was a gynecolog gynecologist and he was a doctor and in his basement is where he saw the women and no one thought anything about it.
joe rogan
Well, what about the one episode that he did about Spanish Fly?
dave landau
Dude, and he would talk about it in his act.
He has like old records of Spanish Fly.
joe rogan
Yeah.
dave landau
Where he's just talking about it like the whole audience is like, Yeah, the rape drug.
That's hilarious.
joe rogan
Yeah.
He had a whole episode of the show about his special barbecue sauce.
dave landau
Yeah.
And everyone started making out with each other?
joe rogan
Yeah.
dave landau
And groping each other?
joe rogan
How crazy is that?
dave landau
Well, have you ever seen the Cosby Mysteries intro?
joe rogan
No.
dave landau
It's a pill going into a martini.
And then it just says Cosby Mysteriesies.
Like what?
Yeah, I think he was more deviant than we actually realize and was leaving these little taunting breadcrumbs.
joe rogan
I had heard that he was doing that kind of stuff in the nineties when I was on news radio.
I had heard from people that knew him or people that knew of him, like that he drugs girls.
I was like, what?
Bill Cosby.
I was like, this is crazy, this is crazier than Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone.
dave landau
Right.
joe rogan
Like, what are you talking about?
dave landau
Yeah, I heard he was like a I heard he had sex with a lot of women and I was like, well, okay.
Like that's a different thing.
Like that's a, you know, I'm like, whatever.
So he's not spotless, I would assume.
joe rogan
I heard about it in Hollywood.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
That was, the people knew.
It was like an inside secret.
dave landau
But then, like, when I started becoming a comic, and I was doing small stuff, like an, like, not the HBO Vegas Festival.
unidentified
This was it?
Yeah.
dave landau
The Cops.
joe rogan
The Cops.
The Mysteries?
Oh, that's so weird.
Okay, but this is like But this is a mystery, like someone's drugging someone.
This was a show about this was like a cop show, right?
dave landau
Yeah.
He came back out.
joe rogan
He came back out and did a cop show?
dave landau
Yeah.
joe rogan
How weird.
dave landau
It's just crazy that the first thing in it though is a drink being drugged.
joe rogan
How weird.
When was the Cosby Mysteries?
dave landau
Oh, I think it was 94.
Was it 94?
Yeah, mid nineties.
joe rogan
How long did that last?
dave landau
I think a season or two.
joe rogan
94.
dave landau
Yeah, 94.
unidentified
Yeah.
dave landau
It didn't last very long.
unidentified
Wow.
joe rogan
Yeah, people wanted to see him in comedies.
Like, why didn't he have the most loved comedy sitcom star ever?
dave landau
And his, his film career wasn't great, it was like Ghost Dad and, you know, he did it.
joe rogan
Yeah.
dave landau
It was all very Fat Albert, there was a story and I can't remember if it was Fat Albert, but, uh, what's his name?
Kenan Thompson was talking about one of the first times he met Bill Cosby and he was like, you know, like, you're gonna, you're gonna need two dicks for all the pussy you're gonna get.
And he was like, what the fuck?
Like, he just couldn't believe it was like one of the first things Cosby had said to him.
unidentified
Whoa.
dave landau
So it's like he kind of because you just meet that guy and you kind of wouldn't expect it to switch so hard.
Especially a guy who's who's been telling people not to especially after Eddie Murphy's stories and all that stuff.
joe rogan
Like, you know, Eddie Murphy from Raw.
dave landau
Yeah, dude.
And he's like, tell mister Cosby that Richard Pryor's that have a cocaine smile and shut the fuck up.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Do the people laugh?
Do you get paid?
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Yeah.
Be ready because when this movie comes out, you're gonna need two dicks because the woman's gonna be all over you.
The sketch comics called.
dave landau
Wow.
Yeah, so it was.
joe rogan
Wow.
dave landau
And imagine saying that to somebody over Fat Albert.
He's like, are you sure of that one?
joe rogan
I think when he was young that drugging people was normal.
That's what I think.
I think that whole Spanish fly era where people were just giving people Mickeys.
They're putting things in people's drinks.
I think people did that all the fucking time.
I think it was super normal.
Yeah.
And then he kept going.
dave landau
Oh.
joe rogan
That was his move.
dave landau
Yeah, absolutely.
joe rogan
Especially when he got old and ladies didn't want to fuck him.
They wanted a career.
Yeah.
And they thought maybe Bill Cosby said he's going to help me with my acting.
dave landau
Yeah.
joe rogan
So, you know, you wake up and your panties are off.
You're like, what happened?
dave landau
And a lot of them, too, when you see, like, the roles they would get on the Cosby show now, you have, like, supermodel-looking women playing a cop.
And it's like he would have private dinners with them, you know, like in his green room.
Just little, like, super shady shit.
joe rogan
Boy.
unidentified
Yeah.
dave landau
So, yeah, like, he, I guarantee you maybe him and, who was it, Jordan?
I met him.
Belfort.
You've probably met him, too.
The Wolf of Wall Street guy?
unidentified
Yeah.
dave landau
I'm thinking, like, Cosby and him may.
may have been the last people on Earth to ever have Quaaludes.
Like one of them had.
joe rogan
What was Quaaludes like?
dave landau
I never did Quaaludes.
They were, I think they were.
joe rogan
Joey Diaz was a big fan.
dave landau
See, he's older, older to remember that.
joe rogan
Yeah.
dave landau
Yeah, because I've heard him talk about it.
joe rogan
Yeah.
dave landau
But I've never done Quaaludes.
I think they were like, I think the last one was like 90.
joe rogan
She'll do things she's never done before.
Increases sexual I don't even think it's real.
dave landau
Dude, it's an ad for rape.
joe rogan
I know it's real.
But the stuff.
unidentified
Yeah.
jamie vernon
It says it comes from parts of a beetle.
dave landau
That's what they used to say.
joe rogan
So it really works?
jamie vernon
Whether it works or not, et cetera.
joe rogan
But that's what I'm saying.
I mean, I'm sure it's real as a product, but I don't think it think it there's a thing that actually makes you horny so it would give you extra like it's like a pre-viagra yeah but that doesn't get you horny like but viagra is it just increases blood flow someone had it when i was maybe i don't know in middle school somebody had spanish fly yeah like a bottle of something that said spanish fly okay google this it does spanish fly work i ended up in marketing look at all the
ads look at this love with no strings attached that's a flight attendant ad flight attendants were fucking hot back then they would hire only hot flight attendants.
dave landau
They would fire you if you weren't.
joe rogan
Spanish fly movie.
So just Google this for me.
Does Spanish fly actually make you aroused?
dave landau
Dude, if there's a movie it was popular.
joe rogan
Does it work?
Let's see.
Spanish fly is not an aphrodisiac.
It's a toxic substance called Carthur.
Cantharidin, derived from blister beetles that can cause severe harm, including pain, burning, and internal damage.
There's no evidence that increases sexual dis desire.
Ingesting cantharidin can be fatal.
While it causes burning sensation in the urinary tract that can provoke an erection, it is a dangerous side effect, not an afrodisiac effect.
So it gives you a boner while you're dying.
jamie vernon
What would it do to women then if you're right?
dave landau
I guess knock you out, and that's why they're like, She's horny, bro.
joe rogan
Okay, so just google this.
Is there a drug that makes you horny?
Just google that.
jamie vernon
It's like if there's a real drug.
joe rogan
Yeah, put it in a chat GPT, I mean, perplexity or something.
dave landau
MDMA, I would, you know, that's But it makes you loving, right?
joe rogan
kind and want to hug people.
I don't think it makes you sexual.
dave landau
But if you were rolling, I mean, and like a girl just like touched your knee in a way, you're like, I don't mind, come.
unidentified
You know, it was just sort of it was pretty crazy.
joe rogan
A soft dick.
dave landau
Yeah.
Yeah, that's what sucked is it didn't it didn't help your libido.
joe rogan
No universally proven aphrodisiac drug exists that reliably increases sexual desire across all individuals.
The concept of an aphrodisiac, a substance that enhances libido or sexual performance, has been around for centuries, but scientific evidence is limited and often inconclusive.
So some substances are marketed as that, historical, cultural substances foods like oysters okay chocolate okay none of that stuff works um medications viagra but again these they treat erectile dysfunction by improving blood flow not by increasing desire yeah no no no i get it um hormonal treatments testosterone therapy boost libido yeah but it's it doesn't like just make you horny out of nowhere yeah i don't think there's anything Like what
dave landau
is horny goat weed at a gas station?
That's just like poison, right?
unidentified
Oh shit.
joe rogan
Basalts.
Remember basalts?
Basalts they used to sell at the gas station and it was basically like some kind.
Yeah.
It was some kind of horrible drug that they snuck in by saying it wasn't for human consumption.
dave landau
Yeah.
joe rogan
But it was a bath salt.
So you throw it in the bath.
dave landau
And then, well, you would consume a human, because you remember when the guy ate the dudes?
joe rogan
Yeah.
Yeah.
That guy in Florida.
But I always feel like I gotta put that through the Florida lens.
It only happened in Florida.
dave landau
That's true.
If it is Florida, you're like, there could have been other elements.
joe rogan
There's a lot of other elements in Florida.
dave landau
There's a whole lifestyle that could have led to this.
A lot of choices.
joe rogan
But Florida where that was the place where the pill mills really started popping off, because the way Florida had it set up, they had these pain management centersagement centers they'd have a doctor that would prescribe it for you so the whole thing was just to prescribe pain pills so you'd go excuse me you'd go to the pain management center oh my back hurts great you need this go right next door and right next door all they prescribed was pain pills and they didn't have a database
So you would go there and then you'd go down the street.
Oh, my back hurts.
Oh, great.
Here you go.
And then next door.
And you could just keep doing this over and over again.
And then this documentary, the OxyContin Express, showed how people were loading up the trunks of their cars with these pain pills and driving up north and into Kentucky, into Ohio, and that's where all these people started dying of overdoses and all people became addicted to pills.
dave landau
There was also one in Richmond, I want to say, right outside of Richmond, a pharmaceutical company that was also largely responsible for it.
Because I remember even working at a pharmacy and going, like my mom was an RN, so I would go in there, I remember the doctors, not the doctors, but like, I remember companies taking out the doctors to eat or like you see like OxyContin reps or you'd sign with a pen that had a painkillers name on it.
joe rogan
Yeah.
dave landau
All that stuff, I remember.
joe rogan
My wife's mom's nurse and she would tell stories about how the pharmaceutical drug companies would take them out to nice steak dinners and treat them really nice and just the whole thing was like, make sure you push our share.
dave landau
It was, yeah, give our product to the people coming.
joe rogan
And tell people how great it is.
How great is our product?
dave landau
Dude, they used to give a lot.
Like, I was getting my, when I got my knee messed up, I got hooked on Oxy on Vicodin.
And I had taken lots of Vicodin before, but I took a prescribed amount that was just way too much for several months in a row.
And then when I came down, it was one of the sickest times I've ever had to deal with.
I'm like shaking, you know, I'm throwing up every few minutes.
And this was the allowed amount I was supposed to take.
joe rogan
Like, how long did you.
do?
dave landau
Four a day for two months.
joe rogan
And then how long was it like the before you became normal again?
dave landau
Oh, God.
It I felt real bad for about four to five days.
Like for me, even when I quit smoking, like I used to smoke three packs a day for almost 12 years.
joe rogan
Wow.
dave landau
And but I did a lot of acid and shrooms and shit and it was fun.
You know, like one after the other, dude.
It was but it felt good, you know?
So like, yeah, I would do that.
But even that, I locked myself in a room when I was living in LA and I just didn't leave.
I didn't leave the room for a week.
I just let my body deal with the pain and then I left.
Like, so it usually takes me about that.
long, you know, to really detox my system if it's something that isn't killer.
Alcohol was hard.
Alcohol was really hard because I had started shaking when I wouldn't drink when I was sixteen.
unidentified
Oh boy.
dave landau
So yeah.
joe rogan
So you got addicted to it early.
dave landau
Do it very early.
joe rogan
So it's like a genetic thing with your family.
dave landau
Big time, and I didn't know about that until later, you know, and like my dad had talked to me about it before he died and like, you know, he died when I was eighteen, but he he finally talked to me about what was going on with the family and stuff I hadn't known and my uncle who I figured had died of a heroin overdose, but my mom's like, he just Diddy?
Can I just know the truth?
You know?
And it turned out it was lines of years of addiction.
Like my dad's dad was an Irish guy, left him the day he was born, walked in, saw my dad was a twin.
He had a twin sister and goes, I'm not raising two and walked out.
unidentified
Oh boy.
dave landau
So then he was the opposite dad.
He was loving, coach, all that stuff.
You know?
He turned it.
joe rogan
Fucked by the government.
dave landau
Oh yeah, and then fucked by the government.
He became a very, yeah.
joe rogan
It's crazy how that kind of addiction, addiction and mental illness is just fucking hardcore genetic.
And when you have a family that has a long history of mental illness.
It's very rare that you're like, I'm fine.
dave landau
Oh yeah, it's very rare that you're an anomaly.
joe rogan
Yeah, well, it's fine.
unidentified
It's usually something.
joe rogan
Maybe you're not.
unidentified
Good.
joe rogan
Yeah.
I just know so many people that are alcoholics that their family is an alcoholic.
Like guys, I had a buddy that he would drink and his eyes would glaze over and it wouldn't be him anymore.
It'd be like, Oh, he's gone.
We just have to wait until he comes back.
Because right now, it's whatever the fuck happens to him when he drinks.
Just crazy.
Off the rails, like, didn't remember anything.
Full blackout.
dave landau
Oh yeah.
joe rogan
You'd have to tell him, you don't remember being on the table with your dick out.
dave landau
You don't remember yeah he didn't remember anything i was the guy on that side of the phone calls see i they were like you need to apologize to this person did you black out all the time all the time so you didn't remember anything i wouldn't remember most sometimes i brown out so i kind of remember what we did there was times where i actually I was at a party, right?
And then I wake up and I'm handcuffed to a bed in a hospital getting charcoal dumped down.
Oh, my stomach pumped.
Oh, my God.
Oh, something happened.
It's like, I didn't.
But I went from like being at a party to just being woken up with a charcoal stomach pump.
And I'm like, this isn't good.
joe rogan
Do you talk about any of this stuff on stage?
dave landau
I do, yeah.
joe rogan
Oh, I imagine you have to.
Like, what I'm so ripe for material.
dave landau
Yeah, I put out a book, it's called Party Who Won a Fuzzy Memoir a little while ago, and it's all stories of my youth because I was trying to get it all out.
And then I had to ask people, and I didn't put it out for years because I wanted to be like, hey, is it cool if I change, like, talk about?
And everybody was, but, and a couple of my friends who are my really good friends, I had to fuck with, where I'm like, don't worry, I change your name from Brian to Ryan so no one knows his name.
Little shit like that.
But yeah, I talk about a lot of this on stage because, dude, I got like, yeah, it was all like crazy.
joe rogan
How did you get institutionalized?
dave landau
The story I talk about in the book is what happened the night before, well, not the book, but on stage, because I have to kind of sum it up.
I actually did it on This Is Not Happening, Ari show.
And what happened was, was I used to like bong pints and fifths for like a party trick.
And I could carry around a case of beer and, you know, drink that in the night.
And mind you, I'm 5'6.
But then I'm in high school.
I probably weighed 140 pounds, dude.
Like I was, and if I wasn't on, if I wasn't on LSD and I wasn't on mushrooms and I wasn't on C K. I was drunk.
unidentified
Wow.
dave landau
So I would switch it all up.
And the night before I had bonged a fifth at a party.
joe rogan
What do you mean by bongs?
dave landau
You know the beer bongs that you use that have like the funnel and go through?
So my friend Anthony pulled out this beer bong and my friend Nick poured an entire fifth of Absolute vodka and Nick's like, dude, don't do this.
joe rogan
And you just drank the whole thing?
dave landau
Well, they put in a cap full of Sprite, then I drank the whole thing.
And dude, I guess I say this in the story because this is what I was told happened.
I was tab dancing.
I told my girlfriend who I love that she had orangutang teddies and then I fell through a table.
A glass table.
joe rogan
Oh, no.
dave landau
And then, yeah, I ended up getting taken home by the cops.
I don't know exactly what happened, but my mom ended up calling the police, which is, you know, like she didn't know what to do.
I was doing something.
joe rogan
Right.
dave landau
And they arrested me and I was institutionalized for two weeks and I stayed with a kid who thought he was a werewolf.
joe rogan
So you had to go to a mental health institution?
dave landau
I went to a mental health institution because they weren't they didn't realize it was an addiction.
They just arrested me because my behavior was so erratic.
Oh.
And I remember getting there and I met my and I'm not kidding.
I met my roommate who was a he was a werewolf.
That's what he believed.
And I'm like, I don't want to stay with him.
And they're like, well, he's not really a werewolf.
I'm like, yeah, I know.
joe rogan
What happens when the moon turns full?
dave landau
Well, he attacked me.
joe rogan
Oh boy.
dave landau
Yeah.
So, and they hit you.
What they do is they grab a tank, a trank, it's called booty juice.
And they hit you in the butt with it, and like the guards will fight you off.
But after two weeks they're like, he's not, it's not so much that he's got mental illness, which he does, but he's an alcoholic.
He's a severe alcoholic.
joe rogan
But your roommate, the werewolf.
dave landau
Yeah.
joe rogan
He attacked you when the moon turned white?
dave landau
Yeah.
One night he just started howling.
unidentified
And I don't even think wolves howves help?
dave landau
Or not, werewolves.
unidentified
They do, yeah.
joe rogan
American Werewolf in London.
dave landau
Oh, but he was barking too.
joe rogan
And the patients say sedative known as booty juice, injected against their will.
dave landau
Yeah.
joe rogan
Growing number of children and teenagers admitted voluntarily to Northern Texas.
For profit, psychiatric hospitals told WFAA they've been injected with powerful sedative drugs without their parents' knowledge.
Booty juice.
dave landau
Yeah, which that kid deserved.
They shouldn't have called the parents and said, Hey, your wolf boy is fucking naked trying to eat a guy.
joe rogan
Was he naked when he took all his clothes off?
dave landau
Because he thought he was a werewolf, dude.
joe rogan
So tell me what that was like.
What was this like?
dave landau
Well, he's jumping on top of me and I grabbed a lamp to hit him with it, but it was fucking glued down because it's a mental hospital.
So that just kind of made me open my arms to him and he's on top trying to bite me and I'm like holding him back.
And that's when they came in and they ran at him.
They hit him with the syringe.
They pulled him off me and I'm just sitting there like, I don't want to be here.
Like, I'll never drink again.
You know, like basically crying like a bitch.
Like, and, you know, I'll never drink again was like my catchphrase, dude.
So they pulled him out of there and then, you know, and then eventually they sent me off to a rehab where I spent I think I spent 45 days there.
And I heard it's not there anymore, which is a shame because a lot of kids do need that now.
And I heard they took it down, like it's not there anymore.
And I went there and the second I got out, I didn't drink.
I didn't drink for like a month.
But the second I got in my friend's car, I hit a joint.
And I'm not saying that that's bad, but it's like, dude, the second I was, they're like, You can't drink, right?
And I'm like, Yeah, like, You can smoke wheat.
I'm like, Yeah.
So I immediately hit a joint.
joe rogan
Oh my God, Dave.
dave landau
Yeah.
joe rogan
Jesus Christ.
And that's what's kind of amazing that you're here.
dave landau
Dude, yeah, I got in a lot of shit shit.
joe rogan
You look great though.
Thank you.
For a guy who's gone through as much shit as you?
dave landau
Yeah, like.
joe rogan
Three packs a day, alcohol, acid.
dave landau
Dude, so much acid.
joe rogan
DUIs.
Falls through the table.
Look at you fine.
dave landau
You know what?
You know what is interesting though?
All the drugs now, because like I told you, I was a real kind of depressed kid.
And all the drugs that I did to treat depression are now used to treat depression.
Mushrooms, ketamine, all that shit, dude.
joe rogan
Right.
dave landau
Like I spent five years in high school when it turns out I was completely accurate with my studies of how these drugs would help me.
joe rogan
You were self-medicating.
dave landau
And I was accurate with it.
joe rogan
Yeah.
dave landau
Because dude, I would do K and I'd just be sitting there in a K hole in class, just think the desk is moving.
joe rogan
Jesus dude.
dave landau
And acid was the most fun to do in class because your teacher's face is melting and you're just sitting there like, it's so much fun.
joe rogan
Wow.
dave landau
But I was a I was a mess, but at the same time, so many of my friends were too.
It wasn't like just me.
joe rogan
Right, so it felt normal?
dave landau
Yeah.
Like, I mean, I was the worst of them and technically slowest because I was arrested more than anybody.
joe rogan
You were the most fun.
What did you think you were going to do for a living back then?
dave landau
The only thing I ever loved was acting and comedy.
joe rogan
Oh, okay.
dave landau
My dad would wake me up when I was a kid to watch SNL.
It wasn't something that him and my brother, they'd watch baseball and stuff, but we'd watch SNL together.
We would watch old movies with John Candy, Steve Martin, all those people.
And then he introduced me to stand-up and my dad bought me – He bought me Carlin Classic Gold on tape when I was nine.
unidentified
Wow.
dave landau
Which had seven dirty words and all that.
He bought me Dangerfield, Button Down Mind of Bob Newhart, Eddie Murphy.
He showed me Delirious when I was like eight.
Wow.
Dude, I still laugh so hard'cause that like, the whole bit he does about the hamburger was so relevant then.
And I knew what that meant then and I was crying laughing because I loved Eddie Murphy, you know?
So he introduced me to comedy and the only thing I had any interest in was that.
And one day Second City opened up in Detroit and I was pissing this teacher off a little bit and she stopped me after class and she goes, Do you know what Second City is?
And I go, Yeah, my dad's told me about it.
It's like where all these SNL people came from.
And she's like, Yeah, you're actually really funny, but you're a fucking pain in the ass in my class.
joe rogan
That's a cool teacher.
dave landau
It really was.
And she goes, she goes, you should consider taking classes there.
And I said, wow.
Okay.
So after my fifth year, the first thing I did was I listened to her and my dad and I signed up for Second City.
And dude, years later, I'm doing improv on stage with this group, Motor City Improv.
And like, it's more bar prov, you're just fucking around, you know?
Right.
But one of the guys in the group was, hey, my wife's gonna come too.
And it was my teacher.
And I got to do improv with her years later.
joe rogan
Wow.
dave landau
And it was really cool, man.
Because like, she, it was the first time somebody didn't scold me.
They stopped me to go, like, you genuinely have something and you're not just this waste.
unidentified
Right.
dave landau
And no one had ever, besides my parents, but no one else had ever said that before.
joe rogan
Well, that's so cool that she was already in that world so she understood.
dave landau
Yeah.
joe rogan
Yeah, we were actually just having a conversation about that last night in the green room, not last night, the night before, and we were talking about times in your life that someone could have just told you, this is behavior like a stand-up comedian, like that's a real job.
Yeah.
You know how you like repairing cars and you could be a mechanic?
You know how you like talking shit?
You're funny, everyone laughs?
This is a job.
Like just, but everyone just tells you you're a fucking loser and you're never going to mount to anything and get out of my class.
dave landau
And that's, and I was very lucky.
Like my parents, my dad had was just about to pass when I told him I think I'm going to do Second City and then take this film class up in Lansing, Michigan, which is what I did.
I did film and I did that and I would go back and forth.
And he was like, you should.
Like.
That's what you've always wanted to do.
Like I had a camera in my hand since I was a kid.
Like my parents never wanted me to have a backup plan.
They were like, find something you love.
Like that's, you know, and we were really only torn apart as a family because of what we experienced, you know, from my dad just.
being screwed.
Yeah.
So we were, I think if I had given a more direct line, I may have gotten there sooner.
You know?
But I was, I was angry and depressed and pissed off.
Sure.
You know, my whole attitude was fuck, you fuck the system.
Yeah.
So when I finally found that outlet, it was wonderful, dude, especially when you're writing sketches and watching them come to life and you're ripping on the people that fucked you over.
And like, there's such a good feeling about that.
unidentified
Yeah.
dave landau
And a lot of people that I met have gone on to do great things.
Like I was in a troop with Sam Richardson who went on to do Detroiters.
And, you know, there's Tim Robinson, who I didn't know him well or anything but we did improv a couple times and it's cool to see him like skyrocket with I think you should leave and all these other stuff and Keegan Michael Key was somebody that was out of the Detroit chapter so there's like some really cool people that ended up coming out of there.
joe rogan
What was the stand-up scene like?
Like what was the big club?
dave landau
The big club was Mark Ridley's comedy cast.
joe rogan
Okay, I heard that part.
dave landau
Yeah, and I started There was to be a great spot.
Dude, it's unbelievable and he he was the guy who you wanted to do stand-up in front of because he was there every night tearing tickets like he was a part of it from the late 70s until he had a heart attack maybe around 2010.
His son Ryan Ridley was the head writer of Rick and Morty.
unidentified
Oh wow.
dave landau
So he dude, he's a great dude.
And you just had Mike Costa on.
joe rogan
Yeah.
dave landau
Mike was in my group when I started.
joe rogan
Oh, no kidding.
dave landau
Yeah, he was one of the people that I started with.
And then a guy named Matt McClowry, he's actually featuring for me this weekend, who's incredibly funny dude.
joe rogan
At the mother show?
unidentified
Yeah.
dave landau
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
He's got Asperger's, Adam knows him, and dude, he's funny.
unidentified
Yeah, yeah.
dave landau
If any luck, he'll think he's a lady.
joe rogan
At least he doesn't think he's a werewolf.
dave landau
But yeah, dude, he's a beast.
And like, we had a pretty cool group when we started where we weren't kissing each other's ass.
We were all just trying to figure it out.
Oh, that's great.
So we would like to criticize each other.
and like we've all done pretty well considering like where people have gone off to you know at least in the sense of making money and making a living you know making making people laugh like and that's awesome we were lucky because there was like 10 different clubs in detroit where you could go like okay i'll go do ridley's in the suburbs but then i can go do a super urban room you know in the city and I can get used to that audience.
Then I can go to Ann Arbor and I can be in front of liberals at the showcase or at the Heidelberg Project and then I can go, you know, so you could go all over and you could experience every kind of audience.
you could ever be in front of at ten different places in a week.
joe rogan
That's awesome.
dave landau
It was really cool.
joe rogan
That's awesome.
Listen, dude, this was a lot of fun.
Thank you.
dave landau
I really like talking to you.
joe rogan
I'm glad you're alive.
unidentified
Thank you.
It's amazing to listen to your stories.
joe rogan
It's kind of a miracle that you've made it this far, but you're a good dude and it's always fun to have you at the club.
It's been a lot of fun.
Thank you.
I'm excited to see you this weekend.
I appreciate it, Joe.
dave landau
Thank you very much.
joe rogan
My pleasure, brother.
I'll tell everyone how they could find you, all your stuff online.
dave landau
Oh, you can go to davelandout.com.
I have everything on there.
You can check out tour dates and everything.
Also, yeah, I guess I should have brought out my book, Partok, Party of Wanna Fuzzy Memoir.
It did really well on Amazon.
Nice.
And yeah, a lot of people have enjoyed it.
And a lot of the stories will be much funnier to you than they were for me to live.
So I hope you enjoy it.
joe rogan
All right.
Beautiful.
unidentified
All right.
Thanks, brother.
dave landau
Thank you.
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