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May 13, 2025 - The Joe Rogan Experience
02:34:17
Joe Rogan Experience #2320 - Tom Segura
Participants
Main voices
j
joe rogan
01:33:35
t
tom segura
55:30
Appearances
Clips
j
jamie vernon
00:46
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Speaker Time Text
tom segura
Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out!
unidentified
The Joe Rogan Experience.
Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day!
What's wrong with you?
joe rogan
How?
First of all, how did Netflix let you make this show?
tom segura
Well, they wouldn't have let me make it if I just pitched it to them.
joe rogan
What did you do?
tom segura
I made a few and showed it to them.
joe rogan
Oh my god.
tom segura
Because I knew.
I knew that if we...
joe rogan
You can't give anybody the script.
tom segura
No.
The script won't work.
The script won't work.
I mean, that's just...
That's the thing.
joe rogan
It's very funny.
tom segura
Thanks, man.
It's...
So ridiculous.
It's pretty ridiculous.
You know, it was a few years ago that I made the initial one.
I was on that crazy tour, that real crazy tour, where it was like, you know, fucking ten shows a week.
And I had a break coming up.
And so, I've always liked movies, like features, right?
But it's a huge undertaking to get a feature made, but I liked short films, because it feels like you're making a movie, you know, like a mini-movie, right?
And it feels much more accessible to do.
So I had written...
All these like short stories, short films.
And I called my friend Rami Hashash and I was like, hey, I have a break coming up on tour.
Let's shoot a short film because we'd done other things before.
And when I sent him, I sent him like 10 different scripts.
He was like, what if we did three of these?
I was like, how can we do three of them?
He's like, we'll shoot like 11 days in a row.
We can do three of these stories.
And even then I wasn't thinking of like having a television.
I was just like, oh, it'll be fun to make these stories, you know?
And so after we shot those three, it was clear that we had, like, the bones of a show.
Like, what if we did a show that was based on short stories, you know, like short films, basically?
And, I don't know, there was another few that were in the original.
And when I sent them in to Netflix, they were like, this is fucking insane.
But, like, we'll make six episodes of this.
unidentified
And, yeah, they were just like, this is crazy.
tom segura
But it's been the most fun I've ever had, dude.
joe rogan
Really?
tom segura
Yeah, yeah.
Because, you know what, I was thinking about it, like, on my way in here today.
I was like, sometimes you have to remind yourself, like, of what your original dream, like, your original dream, you know?
And my dream.
When I moved to LA, it had nothing to do with stand-up.
I never thought of stand-up.
Not to say that I don't love doing stand-up today.
I'm in love with stand-up.
But I moved to LA because I was like, oh, I want to do movies.
That was my whole thing.
I want to do comedy movies.
And I had my own blueprint for how I would do it.
I was like, I'll go to the Groundlings.
SNL will definitely hire me from there.
Like, this is, like, my 21-year-old brain.
And then I'll do that for a couple years, and then I'll do movies.
Like, I thought that was a logical game plan to end up in movies.
And it just, you know, I did do the Groundlings for a while, the school.
But when I was supposed to do Writing Lab, which was, like, one of their levels, I had started stand-up, and I was just like, oh, this path is just better for me.
Like, I was getting traction.
Not, like, my career wasn't moving, but I'm saying, like, I could feel...
How much I loved it.
And I was starting to get like 50 bucks here and there.
And I was like, oh, it's not doing the writing lab thing.
It's staying in the stand up path.
You know, that's kind of like interesting.
But the dream of like of doing something like movies, which is like this feels like to me like they sent me to film school and they were like, make your fucked up movies.
That's what it felt like.
That's been like I was you know, I was working like 16 hour days.
Doing this thing and I would come home and Christina would be like, I have never seen you so energized after working all goddamn day.
She's like, you come home in the best mood.
I was like, yeah, because I'm having fun.
Like, I'm having so much fun doing this, you know.
joe rogan
Well, that shows you're doing the right thing.
tom segura
I think so.
I mean, it was like...
joe rogan
That is so uniquely you.
tom segura
It is, right?
joe rogan
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's our fucking text thread.
tom segura
It pretty much is.
There are some in here that I can't wait for you to see.
Like, there are some in here that I literally cannot wait for you to see.
She, this morning, she goes, why is it called Bad Thoughts?
It should be called Cock Thoughts.
She's like, I swear there's dicks in, like, every other one.
I'm like, yeah.
She's like, dicks in violence.
That's your wheelhouse.
joe rogan
We need more of this in the world.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
We really do.
You know that show, the religious show on Max?
Why am I not remembering it?
Righteous Gemstones.
tom segura
Oh, yeah.
joe rogan
Fucking A. Yeah, man.
Dude.
tom segura
Danny McBride.
joe rogan
Yeah.
tom segura
He's fucking fantastic.
joe rogan
Yeah, he's fantastic.
But the whole cast is fantastic.
tom segura
The whole cast is, yeah, yeah.
joe rogan
The fucking show is so good.
It's so funny.
tom segura
Goggins, Adam Devine, John Goodman.
Oh, yeah.
joe rogan
Everyone's amazing.
tom segura
They're all fantastic.
joe rogan
But it's also so ridiculous.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
It's like, thank God.
It seems like for a while people were getting scared of making anything offensive.
tom segura
I know.
And it also feels like so many studios, networks, platforms, whatever you want to call it.
Are, like, so distanced from comedy.
Yeah.
It's too dangerous.
joe rogan
Well, what's weird is you can get away with so much in a drama.
In a drama, you could have violence and theft and car accidents.
You could fucking kill people and rape people and steal all their money.
And that's okay for some reason.
But, like, there's something about doing comedy that's offensive or even potentially offensive.
tom segura
Yeah, the other thing is...
There's the offensive angle.
I also think that they really shit the bed on literally backing truly funny material.
Like, so many studio comedies that are released, the critics of people are like, why didn't this work?
Because it's not good.
It wasn't funny.
It's not a funny comedy.
joe rogan
But don't you think part of that is because they can't take any real chances?
tom segura
Yeah, I think a studio is always, you know...
If you strip everything down, it's somebody that has to have some risk in their job.
They're playing with millions of dollars and saying, this will make us money.
And so, yeah, they start to get more apprehensive about it.
The other thing is that the cost of some of these comedies, when comedies were really...
Thriving last, which was, I think, more than 20 years ago.
Some of these comedies started to cost like 30 million plus to do a comedy.
Yeah, because sometimes you had huge stars and huge set pieces and you'd have these enormous budgets.
Now, some of them, like Tropic Thunder, I think did probably pretty well at the box office, right?
But a lot of them would not.
And so it started to be like, hey, you know what?
We can make this.
That's why you see the explosion of certain genres, right?
Horror really has had a huge uptick the last decade plus.
People can produce them for five million, but they don't realize that you can produce great comedies for five million also.
You can, but you have to prioritize the material first.
It's got to be a great script, and they've got to be willing to back it.
I feel like they just haven't taken those shots yet.
joe rogan
Well, it's kind of a tremendous opportunity, right?
These big studios and these big stars are not doing those kind of films.
tom segura
Exactly.
joe rogan
Like the door is wide open.
tom segura
It's open.
joe rogan
Because the demand has never gone away.
tom segura
No, people want it.
They want to laugh.
joe rogan
Always.
tom segura
I'm doing one this summer.
joe rogan
Yeah?
tom segura
I'm doing a movie this summer, yeah.
joe rogan
What are you doing?
tom segura
It's a crazy fucking comedy.
unidentified
It's insane.
tom segura
It hasn't been announced yet, so you know how they are about that.
But it's a wild, R-rated comedy.
joe rogan
Well, tell me about it afterwards, then.
tom segura
Okay, yeah.
joe rogan
Ha-ha, everybody else.
tom segura
Yeah, no, I would love to talk about it.
But I think we're doing kind of like what you're saying, which is we're going to go all in on trying to make this really funny movie.
And I mean, I couldn't be more excited about it.
And I think it's like, it takes, you realize when you're, you know, you read it and you go, this is it.
We kind of do, you know, some punch-ups on the script.
And then you just try to surround yourself with amazing comedic talent, you know, like great actors.
joe rogan
And just have fun.
unidentified
Yeah.
tom segura
I think that's like...
joe rogan
That's awesome.
tom segura
Something that's missing.
joe rogan
That's so cool.
I didn't even know that that was your original dream.
I've fucking known you forever.
tom segura
I know, yeah.
I guess I was probably like...
I kind of was resigned to that's not going to happen, too.
Not like...
I mean, the other thing is like, dude, every time I'm out on the road, I get a call.
Hey, they want to see you for this part.
Or you got an offer to shoot this show or this...
Here's the offer.
And I'm like, yeah, I'm...
I'm on tour.
Like, I can't move the fucking United Center, you know?
They don't care.
joe rogan
They just want that piece.
Because they don't get a piece of that United Center.
tom segura
I know.
I'm like, I can't move all that shit.
But that's also, I realize that after years of that, it's like, well, if I'm always touring, I'm just never going to be able to do something else.
joe rogan
Other people's stuff.
tom segura
Yeah.
It also kind of, I got excited about, you know, having the summer off and I could do something.
And then my tour, the current tour I'm on, will end in December and I'm leaving 26 wide open.
joe rogan
Really?
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
I mean, film stuff.
tom segura
Yeah, film some stuff and then I'll still do like what I do, which is like go into your club or book some club weekends, which are kind of like...
Low, you know, stress kind of things where you go like, hey, I'm just going to go work out.
So I'll try to keep the muscle fresh, but I won't book like a tour.
joe rogan
Yeah.
It's good to take breaks.
tom segura
It is, right?
joe rogan
I'll tell you that.
I took a big sort of a break.
I've just been doing the club.
Since I did my live special.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
It's very nice.
It's great having no pressure.
So, like, I just talk about what I want to talk about, and I write about what I want to write about, instead of going, I gotta put an hour together, because I have a tour in three months.
Like, I have to make sure this hour's tight, I have to...
tom segura
You just kind of take your time with it.
joe rogan
And I think there's something to be said for taking breaks, with stand-up in particular, because, like, you don't want to just have tools that you use to do a job.
Right?
You want to actually, like, you have to kind of figure out what am I investing all my time in these subject matters?
What's interesting to me?
And how much time is that going to take to figure out what the perspective is where I can just say it on stage?
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
Because I feel like with a lot of comics, there's a thing happens where you get kind of like locked into a set.
And then you abandon that set and there's this mad scramble to come up with a new set.
tom segura
Yes.
joe rogan
And a lot of times when you're doing that new set, you're not invested in it.
It's just you know you can make it effective.
tom segura
Right.
joe rogan
You know what I mean?
tom segura
It kind of feels like filler.
joe rogan
Yeah.
tom segura
Yeah.
I know exactly what you mean.
joe rogan
And the audience feels that, too.
tom segura
I think they definitely do.
joe rogan
Oh, they do.
tom segura
They do.
joe rogan
They do, because I feel it as an audience member.
I know when someone's doing that, and I go, ugh, this is not, I'm not connecting with this at all.
tom segura
Right.
But if it's something that you can tell the person wants to talk about, it resonates.
It hits different.
joe rogan
Actually interesting.
That's the thing.
It's like, you know, as I've gotten older, I've thought much more about stand-up.
A lot of stand-up is kind of like unspoken.
I think a lot of it is hypnosis.
tom segura
Really?
joe rogan
Yeah, there's a weird thing going on.
And I get it from great comedians.
Like, when I was a kid, there was this guy named Frank Santos, the R-rated hypnotist.
And he would go on stage and make people do stuff.
And like, you're having sex with Madonna.
It was really weird.
There was a flow to his confidence.
There was something about him.
And he was also an actual hypnotist, hypnotized people to quit smoking and shit like that.
And there was something that he was doing where I was like, what is he doing?
What is this connection where it's just so funny?
How is he getting into these people's heads?
What is hypnosis?
And then I see a guy like Attell.
On stage when he's killing.
And I recognize something.
I'm like, he's hypnotizing us.
There's something that he's doing, this effortless confidence and connection to what he's talking about, and great material also.
So you give him...
The reins.
You're like, oh, this material's so good.
I'll give you the reins.
Take my brain.
tom segura
And the rhythm of the cadence, too.
joe rogan
Yeah.
tom segura
Because he has a very particular cadence.
And, you know, if you hang out with him or work with him, like I did a few times, you start doing the cadence.
joe rogan
A lot of people do.
tom segura
Start doing the cadence.
And I did that.
I did that in, like, 05, 06, when I was, like, he was on his show and his first, like, killer album came out, Skanks for the Memories.
unidentified
Yeah.
tom segura
Yeah, I mean, I feel like I would be talking to you like this, and I'd get on the stage, and I'd be like, how's everybody doing?
Like, I would just start doing it, because it's such, like, a hypnotic type of cadence.
joe rogan
Yeah, Patrice always says that about, like, having babies.
Like, that's his babies.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
Like, Dave Vitale has a bunch of babies.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
It's like a bunch of people that gave, he gave birth to their...
tom segura
100%, yeah.
joe rogan
Yeah, it's super normal.
A lot of people have that.
But it's interesting how that stuff works, that...
There's a thing that's going on, which is why live stand-up is so much better than stand-up on television.
tom segura
Dude, I also had this thing recently, because I'm on tour right now, I realized that, like, man, it's funny how I could be, like, tired.
And being tired, I go on stage in a different mindset, and all of a sudden I'm like, wow, that was a way better set.
Like, I had the right amount of tired.
Not tired where I can't think.
joe rogan
But more relaxed.
tom segura
Yeah.
And then I get off and my whole tour crew was like, that was fucking an amazing show.
And I'm like, yeah, I feel like I was too tired to be self-conscious or something.
You know what I mean?
joe rogan
Right, right.
tom segura
Some of my self-awareness went away, but the right degree of it went away.
joe rogan
Yeah.
tom segura
And then the show just felt better.
joe rogan
And then you locked in with them.
tom segura
Yeah.
I also like to tell myself sometimes if I remember...
That I'm best on stage if I'm going on stage in a silly mindset.
If I'm goofing off backstage, fucking around, making fun of somebody that's in my crew or something.
I don't know.
Dancing in the green room.
Just silly.
That mindset, walking up on stage, is the best one to go on stage with.
joe rogan
That's why you still love working with Joey so much.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
Two things.
One, Joey would make me laugh while he was on stage.
I'd be waiting to go on stage.
Instead of thinking about my material and going over everything with a fine tooth comb, I'd just be laughing.
And then I'd go on stage laughing.
tom segura
And that's the thing is that's an unspoken thing that the audience goes like, there's joy coming from this person.
joe rogan
Yes.
tom segura
You know, they feel the joy.
joe rogan
Yeah, legit.
tom segura
They really do.
joe rogan
Because there's nothing grosser than fake laughs.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
When a comedian does the fake laugh thing, it's fucking gross.
It's just like when you know they've said that fucking same joke the same way every night with the same laugh.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
Like, blech, you're tricking me.
tom segura
You're tricking me, yeah.
joe rogan
You're tricking me.
You're a hooker.
tom segura
It's so manufactured, you know?
It's so calculated.
joe rogan
Which is fine.
I mean, whatever.
Do whatever you want.
But it's like there's a thing that comes with that that's like...
Okay.
I'm never going to be fully locked in, but maybe I can just appreciate this for, you know, like I'm watching a sitcom.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
You know what I mean?
tom segura
And then there's also nothing as fun as genuine.
If something really makes you laugh while you're doing a set, that's the most fun.
joe rogan
Oh, for sure.
tom segura
And that becomes contagious.
joe rogan
That's why the bits work so good when you first start doing them.
And then sometimes they die off because you're getting tired of it and you're not laughing anymore.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
Whereas there's certain things at a subject when you first start talking about it, you're like, what the f- What the fuck is going on?
How is this a real thing?
tom segura
It's so funny because we were just talking about how there's certain bits where it kills, like it kills, right?
And then over the next few months, it dies.
It dies slowly.
And you're trying to do the math.
You're like, wait, am I saying it different?
Did you just go listen?
Did I miss a beat or something?
Did I miss some connective tissue?
What's going on?
And by the end you're like, no, it's fully dead.
It has died.
I don't know what happened.
joe rogan
You just gotta be able to accept that they're dead.
tom segura
Yeah.
That's such a funny thing, though, that happens.
joe rogan
I have a bunch of bits I call orphans.
We have a file of orphans.
They're all bits that just never made it onto a special.
Someone comes up to me, like, every now and then one of my friends would come up to me, like, do you do that fucking, is that on anything?
I was like, that one's just an orphan.
tom segura
It's an orphan.
joe rogan
It's just floating around.
It doesn't fit with anything.
It's all so fucked up.
tom segura
And sometimes you, like, you ever try to bring those back?
I brought some back that didn't make it.
And sometimes they get new life.
joe rogan
Yeah.
tom segura
And then sometimes you're like, oh, there's a reason why I didn't carry this one.
joe rogan
You know when they pop up is Bottom of the Barrel.
tom segura
Oh, yeah.
joe rogan
It's the best show.
The Bottom of the Barrel, every now and then I'll pull something out.
Actually, I have a fucking ancient bit on this.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
If I can kind of remember it.
tom segura
That's the other thing is your memory starts to, on the old stuff.
joe rogan
My memory's gone on my last special.
It's gone.
tom segura
That's the best thing that can happen.
joe rogan
Oh, yeah.
It's gone.
tom segura
I get called out to, you know, do this bit.
And I go, I honestly don't remember how it goes.
Like, I'll start it, and then I'll forget.
joe rogan
Right.
You want to do it?
unidentified
Yeah.
tom segura
And then they'll know it.
They'll know it better than you.
And you're like, oh, yeah.
joe rogan
Yeah, sometimes that's good.
That would be funny if they did it.
They acted it out.
tom segura
It's pretty fun.
joe rogan
Yeah, because there's certain bits.
Like, they just leave your mind.
It's like, I'm done with this.
tom segura
But did you like...
Any of the acting stuff?
Because I know you don't have any interest in doing it anymore, but did you enjoy it?
joe rogan
Yeah.
Yeah, news radio was really fun.
tom segura
That was fun.
Yeah, it was fun.
joe rogan
I didn't mind doing it.
It's just I didn't like it as much, and I didn't like the time commitment that these...
I mean, I don't sound like I'm complaining, oh, it's acting so hard, but it's like you're working these long-ass days.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
And as a person who likes to do a lot of different things, that becomes a problem.
tom segura
And you were on a multicam.
joe rogan
Exactly.
tom segura
Imagine if you were on a single cam.
joe rogan
Way harder.
tom segura
That would have been...
joe rogan
Single cams are crazy.
I had friends that are on single cams.
I was like, oh my God, how are you doing this?
They were working six days a week and they would work in like 12, 15 hours a day.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Like, this is so crazy.
Like, I like to do a bunch of stuff, man.
I like to do jujitsu.
I like to play pool.
tom segura
Are you rolling again?
joe rogan
No.
unidentified
No.
joe rogan
I'm still injured.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
I'm still dealing with some small...
It's a lot better now.
Lower back issue.
And a little bit of a knee-ish, but that's pretty good, too.
tom segura
Did I tell you how my little guy quit jujitsu?
joe rogan
Why?
Why'd he quit?
tom segura
It's the funniest thing.
They both go.
Both my boys go.
And we take them in and...
My youngest is like, this is my last one.
He's six.
And I go, is your last one?
He goes, dude, my schedule is crazy.
I go, what?
joe rogan
He's sick of his dad.
tom segura
Yeah, he's talking like me.
And he goes, I have a full plate.
And I go, you have a full plate.
He goes, I go, kindergarten.
I got Spanish.
I do drums.
I don't have time for this.
joe rogan
That's hilarious.
tom segura
And then he told the instructor.
He told the guy in charge.
I was like, tell him.
He goes, I won't be coming back.
I have a very full schedule.
And so that guy kind of like smiled and he goes, well, what do you have?
He goes, I told you.
Kindergarten, drums, Spanish.
I don't have time to do everything.
unidentified
He's six!
tom segura
He's six.
And I go, yeah.
joe rogan
Is this the one who calls you Tom?
tom segura
Well, they both did for a while.
joe rogan
But yeah.
tom segura
So he goes, but the instructor was great.
He goes, okay, okay.
He goes, well, in life, you have to be strong, right?
And my kid goes, yeah.
He goes, it's not an option.
And he goes, yeah.
He goes, so if you have to be strong, then you have to do this.
And my kid's like, yeah.
He goes, the instructor goes, so I'll see you Thursday.
And he sticks out his fist.
And my kid goes, I told you, I'm too busy.
And so he hasn't gone.
But this is the thing about kids is like he hasn't gone now in like a month.
And then now he's like, hey, I want to go back to jiu-jitsu.
I'm like, of course.
joe rogan
Of course.
tom segura
And also his older brother is doing very well.
joe rogan
Ah, that's a problem.
tom segura
He's like this motherfucker.
He got a new belt, you know, and my older brother's like fucking him up and talking mad shit all day.
Takes his shirt off every day and he goes, I'm going to be so fucking jacked.
So he's like, shit, I got to get back in there.
joe rogan
That's hilarious.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
Yeah, you gotta hedge your time.
Like, you have to figure out, like, what do you want to do?
tom segura
You are the most insane in my book for a person who does the most different things.
Because you are highly proficient at archery, jiu-jitsu, shoot and pull, fitness, this shit, stand-up.
Like, that's a lot of different things to be, like, very good at.
joe rogan
Well, I have to pick my spots.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
You know, because I'm an obsessive person.
tom segura
Right.
joe rogan
So, like, I have to, like, that's why I don't fuck with golf.
That's why I don't fuck with video games.
tom segura
Fucking golf will get you, dude.
joe rogan
Video games will get me.
tom segura
I stayed away from video games for 20 years, about.
About 20 years.
And we got a console.
unidentified
Uh-oh.
tom segura
Well, here's the thing.
I actually found that I am busy enough.
Where in my brain I can go, yeah, I can't.
I can do 20 minutes on certain days and get a little dopamine kick from it and have fun.
But most of the time I walk by and I go, I want to play.
I got out of time to play.
joe rogan
My problem is if I put that 20 minutes in, I'll be up until 5 in the morning.
I don't need sleep.
I just won't work out tomorrow.
tom segura
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
joe rogan
I'll just show up half in the bag.
I'll eat a lot of creatine so my brain works.
Do you know how to do that?
tom segura
Yeah, I started doing it every day.
joe rogan
But that's a really big one for sleep deprivation.
tom segura
Really?
joe rogan
Yeah, there was a sort of study where they showed that it completely diminishes the effects of sleep deprivation.
I think it's 20 grams.
I think 20 grams of creatine, something crazy like that.
tom segura
I've been doing that.
I have a whole new sleep protocol I'm doing.
joe rogan
Oh, a sleep protocol.
tom segura
Like, I'm saying a bunch of peptides and shit, yeah.
joe rogan
Oh, I just ordered an Oura Ring to track my sleep.
tom segura
That's good.
Do you have to try that pineal peptide?
joe rogan
No, I haven't.
I heard about it.
You were telling me it really ramped up your REM sleep.
tom segura
Fucking awesome.
joe rogan
Yeah?
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
Nice.
tom segura
Yeah.
Anything for more sleep I'm into, man.
joe rogan
I'll tell you what really affects it.
tom segura
Quality sleep.
joe rogan
No drinking.
That really affected my sleep a lot.
tom segura
Really?
joe rogan
Oh, yeah.
tom segura
Were you drinking a lot?
joe rogan
Not a lot.
Not like Burt levels.
But last time I was sober, I was with him.
It was a great table.
It was Taylor Sheridan and his wife, my wife was there, Bert and his wife, David Goggins and his wife, and then a bunch of my professional pool player friends.
tom segura
That's a fun table.
joe rogan
Oh, it was fucking phenomenal.
We had so much fun.
We all had dinner together after the UFC fight, and Burt is just throwing back martinis.
And I was like, oh, I definitely made the right choice.
I definitely made the right choice.
I'm watching him.
He's slowly turning into a human grape in front of my eyes.
Fucking red-edged face.
He was hilarious.
tom segura
He was.
joe rogan
I'll tell you that.
At the table, we were having a lot of laughs.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
But I was like...
tom segura
He can knock him down, dude.
He can really knock him down.
joe rogan
Bro, he found out we were leaving, so he ordered two more to down on the way out the door.
He just downed two martinis.
I'll have two more!
Like, just downed these martinis on the way out the door.
I'm like, this is fucking preposterous.
tom segura
It's preposterous.
joe rogan
And then I talked to him, and he goes, I got all my blood work done.
Perfect!
Everything's perfect.
tom segura
I know.
joe rogan
He's like, how's that possible?
tom segura
He always says that.
And I saw somebody comment the other day on our podcast.
They go, the documentary about Bert's doctor who says blood work is perfect is going to be unbelievable.
joe rogan
It's a complete charlotte.
It's got to be, dude.
unidentified
It's got to be.
Dirty lab coat with a fucking mouse in his pocket.
Some crazy guy.
It's going to be a complete lunatic who's like, you're great.
joe rogan
Oh my god, that's so funny.
That's so funny.
tom segura
Yeah, we had dinner and he was like, wine, wine, anybody want wine?
And I was like, I'm good.
And he's like, we'll do a bottle of wine for the tea.
unidentified
And nobody had wine, so he just dumps the bottle into his glass.
tom segura
And he can drink it in like five minutes.
It's crazy.
joe rogan
It's bizarre.
Well, it's obvious, like, it's gotta be an adaptive thing, right?
Like running is.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
If you run never, you can't run a marathon.
unidentified
Right.
joe rogan
But if you run a lot, you can run a marathon.
tom segura
Sure.
joe rogan
You get used to it.
Your body gets accustomed to putting in the miles five before work every day.
tom segura
You know we always talk about that freak show shit he has in him?
Like he's freaky.
unidentified
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
joe rogan
He's a freak.
tom segura
We did the 5K in Tampa.
We had like 8,000 people come out this year.
It's crazy.
joe rogan
That's amazing.
tom segura
And so many people that are like, you know, making...
joe rogan
Look at that.
tom segura
Yeah, making leaps.
joe rogan
By the way, how good does Jelly Roll look?
tom segura
Dude, do you know what he's down?
joe rogan
200 pounds.
tom segura
Yeah, and from last year, 130.
joe rogan
That's amazing.
tom segura
And he's like, I want to lose another 100.
joe rogan
That's insane.
So what's he at now?
tom segura
He's at 340.
joe rogan
So he wants to get down to 240.
unidentified
Wow.
tom segura
He wants to get to 240.
joe rogan
He's a big guy.
For him, 240 is probably right.
tom segura
Yeah, it's probably...
And by the way, we were talking before he got there.
The 5K had, it was in Raymond James Stadium where the Bucks play.
So I was like, well, how are we mapping out 3.1?
Well, the only way to do that in a venue of this size is you had to, like, use every, you know, square inch of the place.
So they had us go up the ramp.
Like, if you're going to go up to the top, there's a ramp that goes up.
It's nine stories up of all incline.
And then you go across, then you go down, then you go up again.
joe rogan
Oh, a lot of incline.
tom segura
Like half a mile plus of incline, right?
So before Jelly gets here, I'm like, I don't know if he can do this, man.
You know what I mean?
Like, he's a big guy still.
Knees, cardio, all this shit.
Dude, he fucking smashed it.
joe rogan
That's incredible.
tom segura
He did great.
joe rogan
Did he hire a trainer?
What is he doing?
He got rid of his phone.
tom segura
I know.
He has, like, a flip phone that, like, doesn't even, like, that you can, I don't even know if you can get texts on it, so.
joe rogan
Yeah, he just chucked his phone out.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Apparently, like, all the years of drinking, he just gave his phone number out to so many people.
tom segura
He was like, fuck it.
joe rogan
And he decided, instead of getting a new number.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
Which is what you should do.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
He's like, I'm just, no phone, fuck it.
tom segura
That's fucking awesome, by the way.
joe rogan
It's crazy.
tom segura
I love, like, I used to panic when I left my phone behind.
Now when I forget my phone, I'm like, oh, it's gonna be a great day.
Like, I left my phone, I'll get it later.
Like, I feel fine.
joe rogan
It's a great feeling.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
Yeah, we're all prisoners.
tom segura
We are totally prisoners.
joe rogan
We're prisoners and it's going to get worse.
tom segura
Oh, this is the thing I wanted to tell you.
So, some of the Bucks players came out.
The offensive linemen.
These are absolute beasts.
6 '5", 6 '6", 330.
Like, just fucking giants.
They're gorillas.
And we're doing all this silly competition stuff.
Like, we hit the golf simulator.
Throw a fucking spear into like a bale of hay.
And then they're like, oh, we need one more thing.
So we have a beer stein holding contest.
joe rogan
Oh, Bert won that.
tom segura
Yeah, he beat fucking all pro.
joe rogan
That's like...
Come on, man.
tom segura
But look at these fucking guys.
joe rogan
Doesn't that make sense?
tom segura
It does make sense, but you still go like...
joe rogan
Those skinny guys can throw a baseball a lot faster than these dudes.
tom segura
It's just crazy to me, though.
joe rogan
Not to me.
tom segura
The upper bodies on these dudes, I'm like, no.
These guys...
joe rogan
Yeah, he's gonna win.
He's used to holding beers.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
He's used to holding drinks.
tom segura
I couldn't do it.
I tapped out.
Like, my arm just gave out.
And then...
joe rogan
Look at him.
He's still smiling.
tom segura
Oh, yeah.
joe rogan
He had nothing wrong.
That's insane.
tom segura
Yeah.
And then...
Yeah, they slowly fell.
joe rogan
I bet if he did his left arm, it would fall off.
I bet he literally wouldn't be able to...
He's been holding up drinks so long.
Also, like, toasting crowds for so long.
Look at this.
He beat everybody.
He should hold out and just humiliate them after he's done.
Just keep going.
tom segura
Oh, he held it up after he was done.
joe rogan
That big guy looks like he's ready to break.
He gave up.
Look at Bert.
tom segura
Look at this.
Just insane.
joe rogan
He's got incredible genetics.
If he wanted to be an athlete, he'd be an incredible athlete.
tom segura
Yeah, I think so.
If he was super dedicated to it, yeah.
joe rogan
Yeah, he's just trapped in booze.
But it's also made him very rich, so I don't know what to say.
tom segura
Working out.
joe rogan
I love him.
I don't want him to change, but I do.
I mean, I want him to be healthy.
But when we first started doing Sober October, it was essentially just because we were worried Bert was going to die.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
You know?
tom segura
Yeah.
Well, he's still here.
joe rogan
I mean, the first one was the weight loss thing.
tom segura
Blood works perfect.
Yeah.
joe rogan
Yeah, it's nuts.
tom segura
What type of resistance is that?
joe rogan
I don't know.
I think it's like 100 and something.
tom segura
100 and something?
joe rogan
Yeah.
unidentified
Ooh.
joe rogan
Yeah.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
Yeah, I'm obsessed with, you know, that squeeze machine?
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
You know that thing?
tom segura
Oh, yeah, that measures your grip?
joe rogan
I got 161, and I want to get 190.
tom segura
Oh, so you're training for it.
joe rogan
Yeah.
tom segura
You have one here?
joe rogan
No.
I think we do.
Yeah, we do out there.
Yeah, out in the hallway.
But we do at the club.
And so when the club, when I first did it, I think I got 147.
I was like, well, this is bullshit.
And then I got up to 161 without these things.
Just from working out a lot.
tom segura
I bet David has a crazy grip strength.
joe rogan
Which David?
tom segura
Lucas.
joe rogan
Oh yeah, he's a big guy.
tom segura
Big hands.
Big hands.
joe rogan
Jamar has one.
Jamar Neighbors, I think he got 167.
Damn.
Jamar's strong.
tom segura
That's crazy.
joe rogan
You've seen him with his shirt off, right?
tom segura
Yeah, he's jacked.
joe rogan
Jacked.
But, you know, we've had some big dudes come in there and do it.
I don't know who's got the record on that thing.
tom segura
Records got to be...
joe rogan
The UFC had a bunch of guys do it.
I forget who had the highest.
But I think Alex Pereira was like 180.
He was up in the...
tom segura
He's a big fuck.
I didn't realize how big he...
I didn't realize...
Because, you know, TV is so deceptive.
joe rogan
Oh, yeah.
tom segura
And then I saw somebody I know standing next to him, and I was like, holy shit.
joe rogan
Wiz Oliveira, 97?
Oh, that's crazy.
He didn't even try.
Michael Chandler, 113.
What?
No, he's doing his right hand.
Are you doing your opposite hand?
Because Paul Craig, I think, is a lefty.
126.
Bo Nickel.
He's a lefty, too.
So they're doing their opposite hand?
tom segura
They're doing the opposite hand.
joe rogan
What's his?
153.
Weidman's strong as fuck.
Let me see what he's got.
153.
Stipe's huge.
What's he got?
He's a left-hander, too, yeah.
jamie vernon
Fireman strength.
joe rogan
He's a big fucking dude, though.
131.
Wow, that's crazy.
tom segura
Other hand.
joe rogan
Other hand.
104.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
Second attempt.
155.
All right, so, great.
I'm stronger than all those bitches.
tom segura
There you go.
Fuck yeah.
joe rogan
But I'm trying to get to 190.
tom segura
190's crazy.
joe rogan
I think this is like one...
tom segura
15 or something like that some of those Those arm wrestling guys.
Oh, yeah, they have freaky forearms.
joe rogan
Oh, yeah, I was watching this one guy who's a climber Who's a professional climber?
Oh and yeah, he has this basement gym.
I might have saved the video But I think if you find it on YouTube, it's like, I've never seen strength like this.
This guy has calves growing off of his forearm bone.
It's like a calf.
And he's doing one-finger chin-ups.
tom segura
I don't understand it.
joe rogan
With, like, a centimeter of hold.
Like, it's the tiniest little lip that his finger's resting on, and he's pulling his whole body up.
jamie vernon
I mean, he's doing the same thing.
joe rogan
Yeah, but look at that.
That's crazy.
It's not this guy.
The other guy is like super jacked.
His forearms are at least.
He's not like bodybuilder size, but the musculature is crazy.
tom segura
I saw one of those guys who I guess is in the rock climbing, mountain climbing world.
He's considered one of the best.
joe rogan
Yeah, that's the guy.
That's the guy.
So this guy does a bunch of freaky shit.
What does this do today?
Yeah, look at the fucking...
Look at that one-arm thing.
See that?
The size of the grip?
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
Look how fat that grip is.
Like, doing a one-arm chin-up is crazy.
tom segura
Look at his back, dude.
joe rogan
It's crazy.
But doing a one-arm chin-up...
Look at the size of his fucking forearms.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
Doing a one-arm chin-up is crazy, but a one-arm chin-up with a fat grip like that is off the charts nuts.
Like, his strength must be insane.
But you look at him, like, right there, like his neck and everything, he doesn't look like that strong of a guy.
tom segura
Right.
joe rogan
It's very deceptive because with climbers, you don't need traps.
You can't have excess stuff.
Look at his forearms.
Look at his grips.
The size of his fucking forearms when he's doing that is crazy.
See if you can isolate when he was doing that with his forearms.
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slash audio.
tom segura
Is he the one who did a workout with Larry Wheels?
Did you ever see that?
joe rogan
No, that's a different guy.
But yeah, I've seen that too.
tom segura
You've seen that?
joe rogan
Yeah, I think I might be that guy.
tom segura
Might be.
jamie vernon
Yeah, I've seen him on YouTube.
unidentified
Is it?
joe rogan
Yeah.
And he's blown away.
tom segura
By this guy.
joe rogan
This guy.
It's like mountain climbing, if you think about it, just the amount of reps that you're picking your body weight up and holding.
Like gymnasts.
Like, who's more jacked than the guys who do the rings?
tom segura
No.
joe rogan
They're super jacked.
Look at his forearms.
Look at that.
Back up a little second and just freeze it.
Look at it.
Freeze it right there.
Look at that left.
Fucking forearm.
tom segura
Yeah, that's crazy.
unidentified
That's nuts, man.
tom segura
There's a split in the muscle.
joe rogan
That's a calf.
tom segura
Yeah, it's a calf.
joe rogan
That's a calf.
That's like a strong calf.
tom segura
And this is like a big endorsement for calisthenics, basically, right?
joe rogan
Calisthenics are huge.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
They're huge.
It's a big part of my workout.
tom segura
Really?
joe rogan
Oh, yeah.
I do a lot of calisthenics.
I still do the 100 push-ups every day and the 100 bodyweight squats.
But I do chin-ups, dips, and L pull-ups.
With a close grip, with the legs extended.
I do all those.
They're huge.
You want to be able to...
I do hang from a bar like this where I swing my toes up and I touch the bar.
So it really works your core, too.
Being able to manipulate your own body weight is crucial.
tom segura
Yeah, because those gymnasts are like...
Some of them are like, I've never touched weights.
I'm just doing this shit all day.
Which is nuts.
joe rogan
But it's not time efficient.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
Because they're doing that.
Their muscles are like that because they're doing eight-hour sessions.
But you can get a lot done with your body with just dips and chin-ups.
unidentified
A lot.
tom segura
Dips are incredible.
joe rogan
Yeah.
tom segura
So good.
I think when Arnold would talk about chest, he was like, that was like the...
The cherry on top for the workouts was doing.
He's like, we always would do dips.
joe rogan
And you can do weighted dips, too.
Dips are so easy to do with weight.
Throw a chain over your neck or put a weight vest on or something like that.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
That's another thing I found.
Like, just a 25-pound weight vest where it doesn't feel like anything when you're wearing it.
But when you do stuff with it on, like chin-ups and pull-ups, like, holy fuck.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
It's a giant difference.
tom segura
So different.
And then when you take that thing off, you're like, oh, man.
unidentified
Right.
joe rogan
So imagine being 25 pounds too heavy.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
And then imagine being Jelly Roll.
So Jelly Roll's walking around 200 pounds too heavy before, at least.
So it's actually 300 pounds, right?
Because he wants to lose another 100.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
So imagine just carrying around everywhere you go.
You got a squat rack, like a real...
Bar, stuffed with plates, and you're just carrying that through life.
That's what they're doing.
tom segura
That's why those guys' fucking lower bodies are always crazy when they lose weight.
joe rogan
Oh, Ralphie May used to have the biggest calves in the world.
His legs were like...
tom segura
Tree trunks.
joe rogan
Oh my god, yeah.
Just carrying around that body all day.
tom segura
That's nuts.
If they trim down enough, the quads are still humongous.
joe rogan
Yeah, if Burt lost weight, he would get weaker.
But you do get weaker when you lose weight.
That's a fact.
tom segura
Yeah, that's always a mass moves mass.
joe rogan
It's also like to lose weight, to lose body fat, your body has to think something's wrong.
It's very difficult to maintain muscle mass while you're losing fat.
tom segura
It's hard.
joe rogan
You've got to be real careful with everything.
tom segura
Yeah, that's true.
joe rogan
And you've got to try not to lose too much weight too quick.
Because a lot of people with losing weight, like, a lot of people become food addicts, and then addicts act like addicts, and you start thinking, I've got to lose it all right now!
And so you starve yourself, and you just work out eight hours a day, and, well, you're going to lose all your muscle, too.
tom segura
Everything.
joe rogan
You're going to lose everything, and you're probably going to get injured, because your body's going to, like...
Hey, fucking idiot.
Give you that tendonitis.
How about a little back bulge?
How about a fucking sore knee?
How about plantar fasciitis?
Slow the fuck down.
Your body tries to figure out a way to slow you down.
tom segura
Yeah.
Slow and steady is the way, for sure.
joe rogan
Yeah, it just sucks.
You know, you want to get, if you've realized you fucked up, it would be nice if you could just get better quick.
tom segura
Like, oh, I know.
unidentified
I just, I got a month before summer and I'm 50 pounds overweight.
joe rogan
Fuck!
tom segura
Fuck.
I want to lose another 10, 15 right now.
What do you want to do to do it?
Just dial in.
You know, it's really about consistency, I feel like, with me, right?
Like, my window for when I go, oh shit, is just so much smaller than it used to be.
So right now I'm like, oh.
I've slid a little bit.
I've been on tour.
I've been doing all this shit.
I just have to...
joe rogan
Tour, it's hard, right?
unidentified
It's hard.
joe rogan
You feel like I'm working, fuck it.
Cheeseburger.
tom segura
Let's eat.
joe rogan
Let's eat pizza.
Let's go.
tom segura
Sometimes it's that.
Sometimes it's also just that, like, you know, I get into this rhythm of...
The way I'm eating and training at home, which is pretty good.
joe rogan
Yeah.
tom segura
And then you get out there and it's like, fuck, we got on three planes and you're just tired.
You just don't do it.
joe rogan
Yep.
tom segura
And then, yeah, you just order whatever to eat.
So you just feel it slowly come apart.
But I feel like I'm also at a place where I know if I dial in my diet and make sure I stay on top of the training, I can shed this 10 pretty...
joe rogan
Yeah, you've done it before.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
You did it pretty well, you know?
You figured it out.
And then you also have muscle memory now.
I think it's hard when you're traveling because, you know, you're just...
Anytime you're traveling, your energy level goes down.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
It's like you got to figure out things to mitigate that energy level going down.
And then counter-intuitively, the best way to do that is to work out.
tom segura
Yeah, I know.
joe rogan
Which doesn't seem like it makes any sense because you're tired.
I don't want to work out.
tom segura
A lot of times we do the land and lift.
joe rogan
Got to do that.
tom segura
Like land and go.
joe rogan
Yep, land and go.
Land and go.
tom segura
It is crazy how I do a lot of three-day, three-four-day weekends, you know, for tour.
Man, a lot of times on that.
Third or fourth day, you're in your third or fourth city, and you're like, fuck, I am wrecked today.
Just like another plane, another time zone.
joe rogan
You taking a lot of vitamins?
tom segura
I take a pretty good amount of vitamins, yeah.
joe rogan
Yeah, that's important, too.
Take a lot of vitamins.
And then it's hard to be strict with your diet when you're on the road, but the big one is alcohol.
tom segura
I'm lucky in that regard, because I'm not a big boozer.
joe rogan
I don't know how Bert does it.
tom segura
I started eating these David bars.
joe rogan
Oh, those are great.
tom segura
Those are great.
joe rogan
Yeah, I think Peter T is involved in that, right?
tom segura
I don't know if he is.
Maybe.
joe rogan
Yeah, they're delicious.
tom segura
They're great.
joe rogan
Boy, they make you fart.
tom segura
I love farting.
28 grams of protein, 150 calories, no sugar.
joe rogan
They're great.
Yeah, there's a bunch of good options now.
That you can bring with you on the road if you get hungry.
Keep you from eating bullshit.
tom segura
From eating bullshit.
That's all I'm trying to do.
Sometimes I go like, oh, it was great.
Today was a great day.
And then it's just dinner.
So you're just like, just don't fucking ruin your day.
joe rogan
Have you ever had carnivore snacks?
Do you know what that is?
tom segura
No.
joe rogan
The Carnivore Snacks ribeye is my go-to.
I bring that on the UFC broadcast.
I give them to Daniel Cormier and me.
We eat them.
It's like sliced ribeyes that are just dried, but it's got the fat on it.
tom segura
It's good.
joe rogan
Yeah, you don't feel guilty at all.
If you're hungry and need a snack, open them.
It's just meat and salt.
unidentified
Perfect.
joe rogan
Perfect snack.
tom segura
And the company's called Carnivore?
joe rogan
Yeah, Carnivore Snacks.
Snacks with an X. But it's not like...
It's not jerky.
They describe it as like meat pastry.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
It's good snack food.
tom segura
I like it.
joe rogan
Yeah, just to keep from going off the rails.
tom segura
That's all you're trying to do is just mitigate the damage of the day.
joe rogan
I have a whole folder on my phone saved up of food that I really can't eat.
tom segura
Really?
unidentified
Just look at restaurants like, oh.
tom segura
What do you miss the most when you...
They're trying to eat healthy.
unidentified
Italian food.
joe rogan
Italian food.
tom segura
Pasta, right?
joe rogan
Yeah, pasta and crazy sandwiches.
tom segura
Oh, my God.
We went to Carbone.
joe rogan
Oh, in New York?
Yeah.
They got one in Vegas now, too.
tom segura
I know.
joe rogan
I think they've actually had the Vegas one for a while.
It's so good, dude.
tom segura
It's so good.
joe rogan
It's so good.
That rigatoni with vodka sauce.
tom segura
It has a little kick.
They put a little spice in it.
joe rogan
It's good.
tom segura
It's so good.
joe rogan
It's tough to beat Italian food.
tom segura
It really is.
joe rogan
It's tough to beat it just for pure that pleasure of overstuffing yourself.
tom segura
We were there for last summer.
It was like every day.
And the thing is, I didn't blow up.
No?
No.
I thought I would.
I mean, I'm sure I gained a few, but I thought I was like, oh, this is going to be fucking terrible.
But it was, I think...
A big thing there versus here is portion sizes.
You know, like, there's no such thing as, they don't go, here's your pasta, here's a fucking bowl.
Like this.
Right, right.
joe rogan
Well, I think in Italy, the real thing is the food's different.
I think our food is poison.
tom segura
It's so bad, right?
I mean, I saw, oh my god, I saw this lady on your show, I saw a clip, talking about all these health epidemics.
Like the full run of stats where she was like, one and two for cancer and this and that.
joe rogan
Was it Cali Means?
tom segura
She was a...
I think she was a doctor, right?
Is she a doctor?
joe rogan
Well, I don't think she finished her doctorate or her medical school training because I think...
She got to the position where she realized that most metabolic diseases are being caused by food.
tom segura
But that's the thing.
That's the big takeaway, I think, from that.
You had this conversation with people all the time who travel abroad, and you're just like, everything in Japan was fucking amazing.
The food.
And then you look at their longevity, which is like...
Record-breaking, you know, when you compare it to most of the world.
joe rogan
Definitely compared to ours.
tom segura
Definitely compared to ours.
joe rogan
Yeah, we have the worst health stats in the Western world.
It's our food.
tom segura
Because it's all like...
joe rogan
Because corporations.
Because corporations profit off keeping you fat and sick.
So the best way to make money from food is to get you addicted to food that they can sell you.
So they sell you a tremendous amount of cheap, shitty food that has a bunch of preservatives and garbage in it.
So it's, you know, potato chips and all sorts of different snacks and all sorts of different things.
And then you have your enriched, air quotes, flour that's got a bunch of shit poured into it.
And it's a bunch of complex glutens in the grains.
Glyphosate, which other countries have banned, but we use everywhere.
And 90-plus percent of people have glyphosate in their blood when they test it, which is Roundup, that chemical pesticide.
We have herbicides that kill your fucking endocrine system.
We're poisoning ourselves.
tom segura
It's really sad.
We're growing stuff at home now.
We have a hydroponic garden.
joe rogan
Yeah, I talked to Christine about it.
It's pretty dope.
tom segura
And that shit's delicious.
joe rogan
Yeah, that's the way to go.
tom segura
The lettuce and the tomatoes.
It gets all kinds of veggies.
unidentified
Tastes like real food.
tom segura
Yeah.
You do taste the difference.
joe rogan
100%.
tom segura
Yeah, which reminds me of when you're abroad, right?
Because in Italy or in Japan, you have a tomato, you have a strawberry, and you're like, whoa.
joe rogan
Yeah.
tom segura
You're like, oh, this is what it's supposed to taste like.
joe rogan
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, we make stuff that can sit on the shelf forever.
That's why our tomatoes look like they're albino tomatoes.
And they're hard.
Our tomatoes are hard.
Like, why is a tomato hard?
Like, what is that about?
Why does it stay hard for, like, weeks?
It just sits there.
tom segura
And then we just keep ingesting that.
joe rogan
Yeah, it's terrible.
And then you get all this inflammation in your body.
And, you know, we've sort of genetically modified a bunch of things so we could feed a bunch of people, so we could have large numbers of people.
And there's no benefit to that.
tom segura
How much...
Which of this do you think is related to the fact that we have so many more people than some of these places?
joe rogan
Oh yeah, that's a fact.
It's not just that.
So I think there's a bunch of factors and everybody wants to be real binary about it.
Sedentary lifestyle is a big one.
There's a large percentage of our population that doesn't move enough.
They don't exercise.
They don't do anything physical.
So you got that and then you got years and years and years and years doing that, which...
Eventually catches you.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
And so that's the people that start showing up at the hospital.
You know, it's metabolic health, right?
And then you have lack of understanding of nutrition, which is they think, oh, you're some fuckhead doctor that tells you, just have to eat a balanced diet.
You don't need vitamins.
Well, that doctor is fat and stupid and probably has a bunch of diseases and he's on pills himself.
Like, shut up.
Probably never even went to...
Through any nutrition training.
In medical school, they get about six hours of nutrition training, I think.
tom segura
It's crazy that, especially because we have kids in school, you realize that school still...
They don't emphasize nutrition or finance.
I feel like that's another crazy thing, is to keep people from understanding how finance works at all.
joe rogan
It is crazy, right?
You're teaching kids about how to prepare yourself for the world, and you don't teach them about debt and about interest.
tom segura
The first thing that happens when you're a freshman in college is you walk through the student union.
And they go, you want a credit card?
You're fucking 18. Yeah.
And you're like, yeah.
It's got 29.9% APR.
It's awesome.
joe rogan
They're preying upon you.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
They're literally preying upon you.
tom segura
And the school lets it.
joe rogan
Yeah.
tom segura
The school's like, yeah, go ahead.
joe rogan
Oh, they don't give a fuck about you.
tom segura
That's fucking crazy.
joe rogan
You're grist for the mill.
tom segura
Yeah.
You just literally, you're paying fucking, you end up paying $300 for a Coke you bought.
You know what I mean?
Because you just, like, scam.
Like, this is insane.
joe rogan
Yeah, it's insane.
tom segura
And we don't teach anybody.
It's really crazy.
joe rogan
Well, also, you get it in their head that they're fucked because the debt that they're getting involved in with student loans is the only debt we have that you can't get rid of.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
The only debt.
tom segura
Yeah, you can't forgive that debt.
joe rogan
There are people right now who have Social Security getting docked.
Their Social Security is getting docked.
For student loans.
tom segura
For their student loan.
joe rogan
So they made it to death and they owe money to the government for loans that did them no good at all because they're living off Social Security.
So the government gets to steal more money from your Social Security.
We don't have to pay you.
tom segura
So nuts.
joe rogan
And meanwhile, like today, the reality is you can get that education online.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
Almost all of the books on any sort of subject.
tom segura
Mine is useless, my degree is useless.
joe rogan
What's yours in?
tom segura
Communications.
joe rogan
Well, you're a communicator.
tom segura
Well, yeah.
joe rogan
Worked out.
You probably, like, they use you to sell more tickets.
tom segura
They probably do.
joe rogan
This guy, look, he went to our university.
You should come.
Learn like Tom.
tom segura
You know, I didn't learn anything.
joe rogan
But how much did you have to pay to go to school?
tom segura
Oh, man.
joe rogan
How much were you in debt for?
tom segura
How much was the tuition?
I think tuition...
When I was there, it was something like $6,000 or $7,000 a semester.
So like $12,000, $13,000 a year.
Which, you know, now, fucking tuitions now are like...
Fuck, $50,000, $80,000 a year?
It's great.
Because imagine you take on that loan, you start your workforce, you have $300,000 in loans?
joe rogan
And God forbid you go to graduate school.
tom segura
Oh, my God.
joe rogan
And then you're never getting out of the hole.
I mean, I think this is why some doctors and lawyers become sociopaths, because you are dealing with so much debt and you realize no one gives a fuck about you, so you don't give a fuck about anybody else either.
tom segura
Wow.
joe rogan
Yeah, it's great for society.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
It's also like, there's two things that can be true, right?
I do think that you kind of have to, kids have to like get to work and get something going and get a path in your life.
And when you're going to college, it's like you're out of high school.
Okay, now you're on your own.
You're in college.
You got to keep up your GPA.
You got to get your degree.
Let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go.
So there is value in that.
But then also, it's too much money.
And you're probably not going to do anything with that.
That degree.
And if you don't have the degree, people think you're a loser.
And it's very strange.
It's very strange what's going on.
Because you're allowing these corporations to prey upon children.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
Because you're an 18-year-old child.
tom segura
You don't understand anything.
joe rogan
You don't understand anything.
And then all of a sudden you're in college and you're saddled down with unstoppable debt.
And you have this fucking circus of people around you that are also trapped.
tom segura
And you didn't understand what that meant.
What you were signing up for.
joe rogan
No way!
tom segura
It's the same reason, like, you have a conversation with somebody who's that age, and you're like, oh, you realize that our brains are different, right?
Like, you talk to like a...
joe rogan
Yeah, they're not developed yet.
tom segura
They're not fully developed yet.
They don't understand everything.
joe rogan
Especially boys.
tom segura
Way more clearly.
joe rogan
Yeah, boys don't get developed until they're like 25. Girls are pretty...
They can figure out the game earlier.
They're not as saddled down by testosterone.
tom segura
Yeah, they're...
joe rogan
Their frontal lobe develops earlier.
tom segura
Yeah, ours does really take till about 25. Yeah, because you're retarded.
joe rogan
But that's also how you trick them into going to war.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
You know?
It's part of it.
Like, hey, we need to, you know, the Gulf of Tonkin?
Terrible thing those Vietnamese did.
We're going to need to send you overseas.
Try that shit on a 40-year-old guy.
You're like, what?
tom segura
No fucking way.
joe rogan
What happened?
Let me Google.
Hey, I Googled Gulf of Tonkin.
It turns out you guys fucking faked it.
What else are you faking to get us to go to war?
Oh, my God.
You guys fake things to start wars so you can make money?
unidentified
That's crazy.
joe rogan
How are you not in jail?
How's no one in jail for faking things to start wars?
tom segura
Zero accountability.
joe rogan
So then you're like, well, fuck it.
They got me with the student loan.
They got me with this.
They got me with that.
And you just get accustomed to life fucking you.
You're just like, oh, society just fucks you over.
They just take from you, take from you, and saddle you with debt.
tom segura
I'll tell you this theory, what you're talking about applies to, I think, extends to our appearances.
And what I mean is, today a lot of times people talk about how...
People wear, like, fucking flip-flops and pajamas.
joe rogan
You talking about Bert again?
tom segura
Yeah, well...
joe rogan
He's not here to defend himself.
unidentified
I think this is real.
tom segura
But, like, you get on a plane and you see people in pajamas, right?
joe rogan
Right.
tom segura
And 50 years ago, they'd be, like, in a suit.
And I think part of the reason why people, their appearance is this.
I think some of it is tied to a lack of hope.
Meaning that...
So many years ago, you would embark on your path in life thinking that there's hope.
I can have the American dream.
I can own the house.
I can get the things I want to get.
And so many people today are like, there is no hope.
So fuck it.
I'll go out in my fucking sleepwear.
There's a little bit of that.
I think there's a connection to that.
joe rogan
If the government wants...
If they want control and power, which is ultimately what every government wants.
It's not a conspiracy theory.
Like, every government wants control and power.
What's the best way to acquire control and power?
Have the people give up.
tom segura
Have them give up.
joe rogan
Yeah, it's just fucking...
I give up.
I give up.
Fuck it.
I'm wearing flip-flops.
Fuck it.
I don't care.
tom segura
Because that means I'll do what you say.
I'll do what you say when you give up.
joe rogan
That's what's really scary to me about AI, automation, and then ultimately universal basic income.
You're going to get a lot of giving up.
And then the government's going to clamp down on you even more.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
And then it's going to be haves and have-nots on a scale that we've never seen before.
When you have companies that are in charge of these automated taxi services, and that's the only way people get around.
And the government gives you a certain amount of credits so you don't have to ever worry about traveling.
You have credits as long as you're a good boy, Tom.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
As long as you follow the rules.
As long as you don't say anything crazy about Israel.
As long as you don't do anything nutty, you know, about vaccines.
As long as you don't step out of line when it comes to the election.
tom segura
Then you're credits.
joe rogan
Don't say anything crazy about this or about that or, I mean, take your vaccines.
And if that's a real possibility that they're just going to extract.
Extract money out of us.
Or attempt to.
Attempt to control.
This is the grand battle of control.
The more they have power over narratives, it's also like...
There's things that are going on right now.
Like we were just talking about – some friends this weekend were talking about these bot farms.
Like there's evidence of bot farms that people have used to go and attack people with certain things.
Like a bunch of different countries use bot farms.
I'm sure a bunch of different corporations use bot farms too.
But no one is getting in trouble for it.
Like if you can – Pretend that you're mass groups of people that are getting upset about something.
You could just pretend.
And there's no...
You could pretend.
You can hire people to go protest and fly them in on jets.
That's happening right now.
There was this guy in Maine, and he made this video.
Where he was hired to drive these people to the airport.
And he's trying to figure out, like, where are all these people going?
I'm driving this busload, two busloads full of people at the airport.
And they were saying, well, we're going to a protest.
And like, what protest?
And then he goes and Googles, like, where they're flying to.
He's like, oh, this is a paid protest.
They're paying people to show up and pretend that it's a protest.
So it's like there's puppet masters that are manipulating world events.
That's legal.
You're allowed to pay people to go protest.
Which seems like that should be illegal.
You shouldn't be able to pretend that you have an organic uprising against some...
tom segura
Well, it's giving people this illusion.
joe rogan
Yes.
Which is the entire Kamala Harris campaign.
I mean, that's what it was.
The whole thing was astroturf.
tom segura
Did you see that last...
It was before he left the former FBI director talking about how China...
any international rules.
joe rogan
Oh, I'm sure.
tom segura
And he's like how they don't respect IP at all.
So he's like, they'll just come in and they'll get a, you know, a spy to give them, let's say the IP of some, whatever industry, wind energy, they'll just take it and be like, we have it now.
Yep.
Start this company and then like, this company goes bankrupt because they were, and they just, Fuck you.
Fuck you.
joe rogan
Yeah.
They made whole Apple stores.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
That are fake Apple stores.
tom segura
So insane.
joe rogan
Everything's fake.
Fake laptops, fake phones.
tom segura
I saw a guy, too, because, like, the evolution.
joe rogan
What happens if you try to get online with one of those?
tom segura
I have no idea.
joe rogan
Can you get an Apple ID?
Like, does it work?
tom segura
It can't.
I'm imagining that it can't.
But, like, you know, I always think about the fact with AI, how we're in, like, version one.
joe rogan
Right.
tom segura
And we're all blown away by it already, right?
joe rogan
Right.
tom segura
And there was a watch guy online who was like, I have two Daytonas.
joe rogan
Oh, yeah.
tom segura
And he was like, dude.
He goes, this is the best one I've ever seen.
joe rogan
Fakes, yeah.
tom segura
The fake, he had to take it apart and to look at parts that were inside.
joe rogan
Yeah.
tom segura
Like a spin wheel.
He goes, oh, this is missing the logo.
joe rogan
So which begs the question, like, what is it?
Like, what are you buying?
Do you want it from this company only, or do you want a Rolex Daytona?
Like, what do you want?
tom segura
Well, I mean, I think if in the case of that, you know that the movements, the actual inner workings of the real one are far superior.
joe rogan
Are they, though?
tom segura
I think so, yeah.
unidentified
Why?
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
Well, I assume that.
What if the other one has a 72-hour battery or a power supply, too?
What if you 3D print every single aspect of the watch?
tom segura
I would know.
joe rogan
Then it's the same thing.
tom segura
Pretty close, I guess.
joe rogan
But it can be the same thing.
Like, we're not talking, like, my watch, like, there's a Panera.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
This could be fake.
I mean, I bought it from my friend, so I'm sure it's real.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
But, like, it's not a fake Ferrari.
unidentified
Right.
joe rogan
You know what I'm saying?
Like, if you've got a fake Ferrari, like, oh my god, these tires have no traction.
This suspension sucks.
tom segura
I hate the idea of fake watch, though.
joe rogan
Right, but why?
Because you used to be poor.
tom segura
Maybe because I used to be poor.
I also just don't respect the copying of it.
joe rogan
Right, it's bullshit.
I wouldn't buy one because you're contributing to some.
But it's kind of funny.
tom segura
It is kind of funny.
joe rogan
You can get one for $40.
That's like a $7,000 watch.
tom segura
It's really crazy.
It's insane.
And it's insane that it's tricking these watch experts, right?
But I don't really understand the...
joe rogan
Yeah, look at these.
So, one of those is fake?
tom segura
Yeah, the right.
joe rogan
The one on the right is fake?
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
Yeah, I'd buy that.
Looks perfect.
I'll take it.
How much?
tom segura
He's pointing out.
joe rogan
Look, can you see the difference?
Like, who?
Imagine.
tom segura
Who knows this on the spot?
joe rogan
Well, also.
tom segura
You wouldn't know this on the spot, right?
joe rogan
Yeah.
Also, my vision sucks.
tom segura
Mine does, too.
joe rogan
So, I'd have to, like, take it out and do this.
Like, I don't know.
Like, this one, I can't even.
I guess I can read the time.
unidentified
Look at these.
joe rogan
Or read the date, rather.
tom segura
But I mean, they're...
joe rogan
You know, but the tiny-ass windows, that's a struggle.
Like, if it's dark in the room, I'm not reading that.
unidentified
Oh, yeah.
tom segura
My vision absolutely sucks.
joe rogan
That's incredible, though.
tom segura
The replicas are crazy.
joe rogan
They're so good.
tom segura
They're so...
joe rogan
But again, like, try making a replica 911 Turbo S. Good luck, fuckface.
tom segura
Good luck, yeah, I know.
joe rogan
Good luck, fuckface.
But you can make one of those.
tom segura
But wait, how to...
Because this, I...
Okay, I understand at least...
What you're doing in the watch thing, right?
Then the person buys the far less expensive one, and they get the feeling, I guess, that people go, oh, you have the real one.
unidentified
Right, right, right.
tom segura
But if you're getting an Apple product, a fake Apple product?
joe rogan
You don't know you're getting a fake Apple product if you're in China.
tom segura
So the whole thing's a scam?
joe rogan
The whole store's fake.
tom segura
And everyone that's in on it.
joe rogan
It's an Apple store.
tom segura
Do you think people that are hired think they're in?
joe rogan
It has the fucking logo.
That's an Apple fake factory raided in China.
jamie vernon
This was 10 years ago, though.
It did.
It goes on to say that it tricked the employees that thought they were working at a real Apple store.
tom segura
That's the craziest part.
joe rogan
Yeah, it's like it's layers of severance.
It just goes deeper and deeper and deeper.
Yeah.
tom segura
That's really crazy.
joe rogan
You ever follow the YouTube channel Stance Elements?
tom segura
Uh-uh.
joe rogan
It's a guy that just works on cars.
Dope shit.
And one of the things he's doing, he's building his own Ferrari F40.
tom segura
That's cool.
joe rogan
So instead of buying one for like $3 million, which is...
Okay.
I'm going to say something that's going to piss off these Ferrari people.
It ain't worth it.
It's not worth $3 million.
It's not that good.
If it was new today, you'd be like, this should be taken off the market.
This thing has zero fucking traction control.
But because it's a classic, it's worth a ton of money.
So what he's doing is making it better.
Stance works.
Did I say Stance Elements?
That's the B-Boys.
That's the breakdancers.
Which, by the way, Stance Elements.
How did I fuck that up?
Stance Elements, by the way, is also amazing.
We could talk about that.
But this guy, Stance Works, this is his own...
That's not a Ferrari.
tom segura
He's building it from scratch.
joe rogan
He bought all the parts online.
So he bought all the body panels online.
And then he made his own frame.
And then he bought a Ferrari engine from, like, a different model of Ferrari.
And he's putting that in it.
But this is like a multi...
Month journey that this dude has been on that I've been watching all the videos.
Whenever he has a new video, I watch it.
He does a lot of dope shit, but this is a guy that like really loves cars and he's super smart and when he's talking about cars, it's fascinating because like he's also a fan of the original M5, which I've thought about getting one of those.
Not very fast, but apparently like super engaging driving experience.
The original M5, which I think was like I want to say it was like 280 horsepower.
tom segura
In what year?
joe rogan
80-something.
tom segura
80-something?
joe rogan
Yeah.
Which, by the way, I think it was 88, maybe?
Back then, that was a lot.
tom segura
I have an 89 M3 that I bought.
unidentified
Ooh.
tom segura
E30 M3.
joe rogan
Ooh, yeah.
tom segura
And I have an S54 engine going into it.
joe rogan
Oh, Jesus.
tom segura
So that should be...
joe rogan
How much horsepower is in that?
tom segura
I don't know.
It's more than it came with.
joe rogan
I have an E46 M3.
tom segura
Those are fun.
joe rogan
I love it.
Yeah.
It's so balanced.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
It's like such an engaging driving experience.
tom segura
That's what I'm into.
I'm into that.
I'm not into chasing the lower zero to 60 times.
joe rogan
Yeah, that's nonsense.
Like, if you ever use that on a public road, you're an asshole.
tom segura
Pretty much.
joe rogan
But engaging cars, you could drive the speed limit and enjoy the shit out of them.
tom segura
True.
joe rogan
Just fun just going around a corner and just accelerating to 60. They're fun.
tom segura
That's fun.
joe rogan
You feel more.
Like an old air-cooled Porsche.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
You feel it.
You feel it.
unidentified
Did you get that one for you?
tom segura
You had one being built.
joe rogan
Yeah, it's not done yet.
It's real close, real close.
tom segura
It's exciting.
joe rogan
That's the RSR project.
tom segura
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's rad.
joe rogan
Ooh, very excited about that.
It's like 350 horsepower, 2,000 pounds.
tom segura
Meanwhile, I have some crazy fucking car coming to me, too.
joe rogan
What do you got?
tom segura
This Assetto Fiorino 296 GTB Ferrari.
It's like 700, 800 horsepower.
joe rogan
Christ.
I've seen your Blazer, but I watched a video on it.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
Those guys, the Velocity Motorsports guys.
unidentified
Awesome.
joe rogan
Oh, my God.
tom segura
They're doing cool shit.
Velocity did...
joe rogan
They really went out with that one.
tom segura
That one's great.
They do Scouts and Broncos, but they also just started doing Mustangs.
unidentified
Oh.
tom segura
Nice.
I took one of the Mustangs out.
Very fun.
I think 67 Mustangs.
So you get that beautiful style.
joe rogan
Is that the one with the flared fender?
Did you send me that?
tom segura
No.
joe rogan
Did you send it to me?
The green one?
tom segura
No, that was a different one.
unidentified
Oh, okay.
tom segura
Yeah, yeah.
Every time I see something cool, I'm like, check this shit out.
I sent you the other one.
What did I send you?
I sent you that Giulia, that Italian one.
That the guy came to my place?
joe rogan
Oh, yeah.
tom segura
That was fun as shit.
joe rogan
The Alfa Romeo.
unidentified
Yes.
joe rogan
I've seen that online, getting reviewed.
It's a Resto Mod Alfa Romeo.
I don't trust my people.
tom segura
No?
joe rogan
No.
I have one of my people's vehicles.
But generally, I don't trust my people.
tom segura
Oh my god, I'm blanking on it.
joe rogan
I just think they're...
They're eating pasta and staring at ass, and they're not going to do a good job.
My car's made by either Germans who do meth, or...
tom segura
Totem, that's what it was.
joe rogan
Oh, wow.
tom segura
Yeah, dude, I took one of these.
This guy came...
joe rogan
Ooh, baby.
Look at that.
tom segura
It's fucking rad.
Did you like it?
Totem Automobili.
I did like it a lot.
I didn't order one.
I didn't order it.
joe rogan
You didn't?
I don't know.
tom segura
Well, he's making a prototype for a whole new model.
So I was like...
I don't know.
Why?
joe rogan
That's so sick.
That looks like a James Bond car.
tom segura
It does.
joe rogan
Goddamn.
tom segura
And it's 100% custom, you know?
joe rogan
Ooh, I bet that thing flies.
tom segura
Dude, I was driving down Fairfax in L.A. In the rain, and he turned off the traction control.
joe rogan
Oh, no.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
Turned off?
tom segura
He turned it off.
joe rogan
Why'd he turn it off?
tom segura
He was like, let it run, explode, emotion.
joe rogan
Oh, no.
tom segura
And guess what?
The emotion almost ended up wrapped around a fucking light pole.
joe rogan
Did you spin?
tom segura
Dude, I was like, I corrected it, but I was like, panic, and I was like, fucking driving this guy's...
joe rogan
That's the fear of losing it in a Porsche, that rear engine whip, you know, that understeer that happens?
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Or oversteer?
What is it called?
Supply, throttle, something throttle, oversteer?
tom segura
When you lift, throttle, lift, throttle, oversteer.
Yeah, and then the back end goes on you.
joe rogan
Oh, yeah.
It's a weird design, like having the engine out back like that.
tom segura
This thing also happens in everybody's mind who hasn't, who is not, it's literally something you have to be trained, which is that when something, when you're in a car and you're at a certain rate of speed and you're Yep.
Yep.
Are going to be carried through.
And actually, the only thing that will keep you from usually losing it is to stay on throughout.
Not necessarily give it a ton.
joe rogan
Right.
tom segura
But you need that momentum to carry you through it.
joe rogan
Right.
tom segura
And so it's just something that...
There's countless videos of somebody in their new fucking car just going...
And they just go into a tree.
joe rogan
I just watched one on a new GT3 RS.
tom segura
I've seen that one.
It's brutal.
He's like 18. Horrible.
And he did exactly that.
joe rogan
Yep.
tom segura
He hits the turn, off throttle, tries to correct.
unidentified
Bye.
joe rogan
Bye-bye.
tom segura
Fucking painful to watch.
unidentified
Painful.
joe rogan
But that is a bad element of that design.
tom segura
The rear weight.
joe rogan
Yeah.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
And also, it's like, is that really the best way to do it?
Because, you know, everybody always said that the Cayman is the better car if they just gave it the same sort of love that they give the Porsche.
I fucking love that car.
unidentified
The 911.
joe rogan
The Cayman?
tom segura
I love it.
joe rogan
Yeah.
tom segura
It's like my heart is with that car.
If you go, like, what's the one you're in love with the most?
It's still that car.
joe rogan
But isn't it interesting that, like, that car is not as prestigious?
tom segura
It's not as prestigious, yeah.
joe rogan
Like, why is that?
That seems stupid.
tom segura
It's a whole thing, too.
And if you have, like, you'll see people like, ah, you got the Cayman.
You should have gotten the 911.
I'm like, you should drive this fucking thing.
joe rogan
Yeah, but people that say that are all retarded.
tom segura
They kind of are.
joe rogan
Yeah.
Anybody that says that is an idiot.
You don't know anything about cars.
tom segura
Mid-engine.
joe rogan
Because you have a Dinan, right?
No, it's not Dinan.
What's the company?
Dinan did my BMW.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
What's your company?
tom segura
For that one, DeMond.
Yeah, Rick DeMond did the upgrade on that.
joe rogan
Yeah, so what that is is what it should be from Porsche.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
They should take that big, juicy...
GT3 RS engine, or even crazier, take that GT2 RS.
tom segura
Throw it in that bitch.
joe rogan
Throw it in that bitch.
tom segura
It just upsets 911 owners.
That's it.
It just fucks up there.
joe rogan
They're a bunch of little fairies.
tom segura
Yeah, prestige.
joe rogan
If that upsets you, then you need to go find something else.
You need to go do mushrooms on the mountaintop somewhere.
tom segura
By the way, did you like that?
You feel it at all?
joe rogan
I don't know what you're talking about.
tom segura
Did you ever drive the GT4 RS they came out with like a year or two ago?
joe rogan
No, I didn't.
tom segura
I heard it.
I didn't drive it yet.
joe rogan
I'm sure it's dope, but it's also an automatic.
tom segura
It's all automatic.
joe rogan
Come on, you pussies.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
Like, what are we doing?
Why are you buying a street car?
Are you a crazy track guy?
tom segura
Because that's a track car.
joe rogan
Okay, which is fine.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
Which is fine.
Yeah, take it.
But for the average person that like enjoy, you like make an enthusiast car that's a goddamn three pedal.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
Make a manual.
tom segura
Well, thank God they still do.
joe rogan
Yeah.
tom segura
They make some.
I mean, a lot of places just don't.
joe rogan
It's them and BMW.
Ford still makes them.
They still do it with their Mustangs.
tom segura
I can't believe that Ferrari doesn't realize that if they did just a limited run.
joe rogan
Oh, my God.
It would sell like crazy.
tom segura
It would sell so crazy.
joe rogan
Yeah, they gave up.
They gave up.
Lamborghini gave up.
tom segura
I wish they would.
joe rogan
Thank God Porsche didn't.
tom segura
No, I know.
joe rogan
But they did with some cars.
Like, a lot of their cars, you can't get the GTS now in a 5-speed?
tom segura
You can't.
joe rogan
Or, excuse me, a 6-speed or a 7-speed, whatever the fuck they have now.
You can't get, I don't think you can get the S. You can't get the turbo.
tom segura
No, you can't get the turbo, yeah.
joe rogan
You have to get the T or the regular, maybe you can get the regular 911.
tom segura
I think you can get a regular 911 Carrera.
joe rogan
GT3 you can get still, but you can't get the GT3 RS.
Like, come on, guys.
Shut up.
Just shut up.
tom segura
I think the audience...
Should inform them, right?
They should know that their fan base wants all that shit in manuals.
joe rogan
It's what pisses me off about Corvette, too.
You guys have the most dope shape now.
The C8 Corvette is so sick.
You're putting out these insane ones, like the Z06 and the ZR1, but it's still...
unidentified
People want to...
tom segura
I don't know.
It's got to be...
All that has to be cost analysis, right?
joe rogan
It's a little bit of that, and what is that, Rogues?
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
I kind of quit those, but I'll have one.
tom segura
I fucking love these.
joe rogan
I thought I was going to have a hard time.
I quit them over the weekend.
tom segura
Really?
joe rogan
I did nothing.
I was like, this is easy.
I think I'm lucky.
tom segura
With your...
joe rogan
I think, yeah.
I don't think I get physically addicted to stuff that way.
Except coffee.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
I've done that one, where I took the whole day off coffee and I was like, why am I fucking yawning?
tom segura
Yeah.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Fuck!
tom segura
Coffee gets me too.
Headaches.
joe rogan
But I like coffee so much, and coffee's everywhere.
I'm like, I don't think I need to quit that one.
tom segura
No.
joe rogan
I didn't get headaches last time I tried to quit coffee.
I quit for a couple days, and I was like, this is just rough.
But the nicotine pouches were nothing.
tom segura
That's great.
joe rogan
It was super easy.
tom segura
I feel like I have some of that where I'm not that physically...
unidentified
But dude, I have friends that have like, anything gets them.
joe rogan
Like, I had a guy who came over here to do a podcast and he saw that someone had sent us some Kratom stuff that I wound up throwing out.
I was like, I don't want this shit anyway.
And he's like, don't take that.
I can't get off of it.
Get that Kratom away from me.
tom segura
I've got a real problem with it.
joe rogan
I'm like, really?
tom segura
I know someone 18 years on it.
joe rogan
What?
tom segura
Yeah.
unidentified
What?
Yeah.
joe rogan
18 years on a shitty opium?
tom segura
Well, because they were...
Using it to get off of opiates.
joe rogan
Oh, God.
tom segura
And they can't go without it.
joe rogan
Wow!
But the high is so, like, whatever.
tom segura
Yeah, it's not.
I tried it, and then people were telling me, be careful, be careful.
joe rogan
Oh, Duncan loved it.
We had some at the club.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
And Duncan's like, hey, man, you got any more of that?
unidentified
Got any more of that liquid heroin, man?
joe rogan
I was like, keep it away from Duncan.
tom segura
Yeah.
He's so funny, dude.
unidentified
He's the best.
joe rogan
He's the best, but we had a whole box of it there that Ron White had left there, and it was gone by Tuesday.
I got in there on Tuesday.
tom segura
Oh, everyone went through it.
joe rogan
Where did it all go?
No, it was all Duncan.
tom segura
It was all Duncan?
joe rogan
We drank all of them.
I was drinking two and three a day, man!
I go, you're not even supposed to drink one a day.
It's like a half a dose, which is really weird.
Why did they make one of them?
tom segura
Be two doses?
joe rogan
Two doses.
tom segura
That's crazy.
joe rogan
It's a tiny little shot.
tom segura
That's a good way to get you onto it.
joe rogan
Yeah, it's like when you buy a bag of chips and it says how many calories in it per serving.
tom segura
Six chips.
joe rogan
Why is this little baggie not even a single serving?
You know I'm going to eat more than that one bag.
tom segura
Of course they know.
joe rogan
Piece of shit.
tom segura
Garbage tactic to get people into it.
unidentified
It's horrible.
tom segura
It's so predatory.
unidentified
It's just lies.
joe rogan
You're lying about the amount of calories.
tom segura
That's so funny, dude.
joe rogan
But I think I'm very lucky.
Because I know people that get addicted to weed.
I have gone a long time without weed and never had any problem.
tom segura
Yeah, people get physically addicted.
I didn't really realize that was a thing.
joe rogan
I think it's just different genetics.
tom segura
It totally is.
joe rogan
Look at Bert.
A normal person who drinks as much as him would be dead.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
You'd have, like, real liver problems, and he doesn't have any problems.
tom segura
He's in the gym in the morning.
It's crazy.
joe rogan
It's nuts.
So it's like, you just gotta deal with the cards you dealt.
Like, why don't I have four aces?
Well, you don't.
tom segura
You don't.
joe rogan
So, what are you gonna do?
Yeah.
Gonna just sit here and fucking complain about everything, or what?
tom segura
You gotta figure it out.
Yeah.
joe rogan
Figure it out, bitch.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
Yeah, figure it out.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
You know, everybody needs love, everybody needs support, but everybody also needs figure it out, bitch.
tom segura
Yeah, there's not enough of that.
There's really not enough of that.
joe rogan
There's not.
tom segura
Because you really, it's like, you don't gain anything by doing the like, how come I don't get this?
It's like, how come I'm not 6 '6"?
I don't know.
I'm not.
Just deal with it.
Yeah, you gotta just deal with it.
joe rogan
I think that's a real problem where people, you know, if you think about like the...
You remember that documentary, The Secret, that stupid documentary?
tom segura
Oh, yeah.
joe rogan
Like, all you have to do is think about things and you can make them happen.
Not really.
That's bullshit.
But it's a part of it.
It's a part of making things happen.
Like, you can't just say, I'm gonna...
Fucking breathe underwater.
I'm just going to think about it until I can do it.
No, you can't do that.
tom segura
Give it a shot.
joe rogan
Yeah, there's physical limitations to the human frame.
There's physical limitations for your particular human frame.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
You know, you can't get taller.
You can lose weight, but you can't really do much other than that.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
You can kind of get in good shape for what you got, but what you got is what you got.
tom segura
What you got, yeah.
joe rogan
But there's a bunch of people that just think about their problems all the time.
tom segura
It's an obsession and what it does is it carries you through time without having to deal with the problem because you just talk about the problem.
That's a big one.
I know so many people who do that.
joe rogan
It becomes your focus is your problems rather than your solutions.
Do you know how many people who live in Guatemala in a fucking dirt floor shack would love your problems?
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
Exactly.
Your problems are not that big a problem if you're living in America and you have your health.
tom segura
You need that perspective change from people.
joe rogan
Exactly.
tom segura
Yeah.
There's a big thing of like...
If your problems become your identity, it's a fucking...
Because I know people like that, right?
joe rogan
Have you ever seen that video?
The final boss of Woke?
It's like this one trans man who's like, I'm a disabled trans man.
I'm also on food stamps.
I also have...
tom segura
It's a real person?
joe rogan
And it's...
Donald Trump is trying to erase me.
And it's like this is the identity.
This is existential battle.
But this final boss has everything wrong with him.
You're not him.
You're a girl pretending to be a man.
So it's like you've got everything wrong.
And it just keeps going on and on.
Have you seen this, Jamie?
Do you know it is?
tom segura
Sounds like somebody should try to get on stage.
joe rogan
No, big fat stupid face.
It's not going to work.
The whole thing is just like, it's just, it's so crazy that people will just like, there's a value and a currency to being a victim.
tom segura
Yes.
joe rogan
And so they'll add stuff.
tom segura
Social media has also helped that a lot.
joe rogan
Because there's plenty of people that don't want to deal with their shit that'll go, yes, girl, you go, yeah.
tom segura
Incredible.
joe rogan
Society's doing this to you.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
Did you hear about that lady that got fired from Equinox in Manhattan?
She was late 47 times in 10 months, and she sued because of racism.
She said she got fired for racism, and she won.
tom segura
She won.
joe rogan
Because it's a jury, and she won $11 million?
tom segura
No.
joe rogan
Yes, she did.
tom segura
No.
She was late 47 times?
joe rogan
Not only that, you were working at Equinox.
You could work for all of time, and you'll never make $11 million.
Like, you're not gonna make $11 million working in Equinox.
But yet you won.
And she only worked there for 10 months.
She was late 47 times in 10 months.
tom segura
And that's why they were firing her?
Like, they're like, you're just perpetually late.
joe rogan
They're like, bitch, you are always late.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
And then she's like, that's so racist.
tom segura
That's crazy.
unidentified
And she won.
joe rogan
And she took it to court and won.
tom segura
They're definitely gonna appeal that shit.
joe rogan
Of course they're gonna appeal.
But the thing is, when you have a jury, you have a jury of people so fucking stupid, they don't get out of jury duty.
tom segura
Yeah, exactly.
unidentified
And they might be like, yeah, fuck Equinox, man.
joe rogan
Yeah, fuck the man, man.
tom segura
Because that guy's just too lazy to go to the gym.
joe rogan
Of course.
Not just that.
It's a corporation.
You don't think of it as an individual.
That's just a company that's going to fuck you over.
That's why people don't feel bad stealing from work.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
You don't feel like you're stealing.
Like, if someone was working in your house and they were stealing from you, like, they stole your fork?
Like, where's my fucking fork?
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
Like, this is bullshit.
And then you find out a guy who worked for you stole your fork?
Like, you're fucking fired.
But if an office, if, like, someone, like, takes a fork home, like, if you have a kitchen in your office, we use a bunch of forks for the staff.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
And someone takes that fork.
It's no big deal.
tom segura
It's the office's fork.
joe rogan
We just need to order more forks, man.
These fucking forks keep disappearing.
And you go over Tom's house one day and, like, Tom's got four of the office forks.
Like, did you steal the office forks?
I forgot.
I just keep forgetting to bring them back.
tom segura
Because they don't belong to somebody.
unidentified
Right.
joe rogan
Exactly.
It's not a human.
It's a corporation.
Which is also why corporations can act like fucking psychopaths.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
Because they're also not a human.
So they can just do whatever the fuck they have to do.
Which is why our food supply is so bad.
Because they're just trying to maximize profit.
They literally have a duty to maximize profit.
tom segura
My mom definitely thinks of corporations as they can deal with it.
joe rogan
Of course.
tom segura
And I remember my dad used to tell this story that when they first got married, they were at a Holiday Inn and they were leaving.
And then he was like, what is that in the suitcase?
And it was their towels.
And she was like, the towels.
And he's like, you can't take that.
She was like, why?
Because it belongs to the Holiday Inn.
It's theirs.
And she was like, they have like a hundred of them.
And he's like, yeah, it's not ours, though.
unidentified
We can't.
tom segura
And she's like, it's fine.
And everywhere I've gone with her, she's like, you know, she'd be like, can I take this?
unidentified
That's so funny.
tom segura
We've been places where I've been like, hey.
Sorry, my mom wondering if we could take this glass.
joe rogan
She makes you ask?
unidentified
Yeah.
tom segura
And then...
joe rogan
I saw a video you were showing your mom these clips.
tom segura
Oh, yeah.
joe rogan
The clips from your new Netflix show.
tom segura
Oh, fucking amazing.
It was amazing.
I knew it was going to be a killer.
I was like, she's going to hate it.
And they were like, okay.
So we set up a private screening for her.
joe rogan
It's also like, why am I watching this?
I don't know if you know, but you're my mom.
unidentified
It's so funny.
tom segura
She's like, dude, she fucking, she hated the show so much.
Oh, sure.
She came over yesterday for Mother's Day.
And I was like, she goes, so.
Because on the rest of that thing, she made me promise that we're going to cut the first story.
joe rogan
Yeah.
tom segura
She's like, you're definitely not going to use that, right?
So eventually I was like, yeah, we're cutting it.
And so, yesterday she was like, did you cut it?
I go, of course not.
It's fucking, it's Netflix's.
And she was like, you promised, so you lied to me.
And I'm like, mom, I can't be like, hey, don't air the first one.
She's like, well, that means you lied to me, so I'm never coming to a show again, and I'm never going to do anything related to any of your stuff.
And I go, promise?
I would love if you never came to a show again.
Do you know how much of a fucking burden it is to have to babysit when you're there?
joe rogan
I was talking to Shane Gillis about a bit he does where people are getting upset, people he knows getting upset about a bit.
tom segura
Oh, yeah.
joe rogan
And he's like, yeah, I'll stop doing that.
Shut the fuck up.
unidentified
Shut up.
joe rogan
Shut the fuck up.
tom segura
She found out, by the way, I was on Chrissy D. and Giannis' podcast the day the Pope died, or the day after.
I was in New York.
We're podcasting.
I was like, oh, because my mom's like hardcore Catholic.
And I was like, let's call her and just check on her.
And I go, we'll just try to see if maybe the Jews did it.
So.
I call her, I'm like, did you hear about the Pope?
And she's like, I am devastated, Tommy.
I go, I don't know what happened, if he was sick, if it was the Jews.
And she's like, what?
And like, we had to cover our mouths.
unidentified
We had to cover our mouths and mute the phone.
tom segura
She's like, she goes, this is the craziest call I've ever received.
The Pope died.
Do you think the Jews did it?
unidentified
I'm like, I had to hang up the phone.
tom segura
And then, like, a week later, she goes, I was on YouTube, and I find that you called me on a show to talk about this.
unidentified
She's fighting!
tom segura
She found it!
unidentified
Found herself on YouTube!
She found the clip, yeah.
tom segura
She found the endless well of us fucking with her on YouTube.
joe rogan
Oh my god, that's so funny.
Speaking of the Jews, have you seen fucking Kanye's new song?
unidentified
Bro.
tom segura
Bro.
What is...
unidentified
What?
tom segura
Here's the thing.
joe rogan
What?
tom segura
First of all...
joe rogan
Kind of catchy.
tom segura
Well, that's the problem with it.
That's the problem.
It's like, the guy from production, like, he's never lost a step.
He can make a beat.
He can, like, he's so talented.
unidentified
He's a genius.
tom segura
He's a talented producer, man.
I do think it's like, when, first of all, I think people are kind of done asking him questions, because most of the shit he puts out is, like, self-release kind of commentary or thoughts.
Because he's saying just fucking, you know.
joe rogan
It's the craziest thing I've ever seen.
tom segura
But there is a thing where that song is like, what are you doing, dude?
Like, what are you doing, for real?
joe rogan
It's the ultimate pushing back?
tom segura
Yeah, I guess.
But there is, like, I think I have a pretty, you know...
Let things go kind of vibe to me.
joe rogan
Obviously.
Your fucking show.
Your show's ridiculous.
tom segura
It's a ridiculous show.
And I've always been like, yeah, say whatever you're going to say.
But I do think making a catchy song about that, I'm like, what are you doing, man?
At a minimum, you're just going to get more people that think it's cool to say Heil Hitler.
That's at the minimum.
joe rogan
Well, I think that's part of the program.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
Part of what he's trying to do.
tom segura
But I mean, is that cool to do?
I guess if you're like, well, it's fun to troll the masses and get them to do that.
Okay.
But what I'm saying is that, like, at a minimum, you're going to get less educated people to go like, this is a fun thing to say.
And you're like, I mean, is that good?
You really want people just walking around being like, you know, it's tight, man.
Fucking insane.
It's crazy.
joe rogan
It is crazy.
But it's also kind of a sign of the times.
tom segura
I guess.
joe rogan
This is a chaotic world we're living in.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
And it's like, okay, this kind of highlights the benefits.
I mean, I want to say this, like, carefully.
Because I don't want to think any...
I want to say real clearly.
I don't support people saying that.
I don't think it's a good thing to say.
unidentified
No.
joe rogan
I don't say it.
I certainly don't think...
I don't think any racism is good.
I don't think anti-Semitism is good.
I don't think anti-Christianity is good.
I don't think Asian hate is good.
I don't think anything is good.
But there's a benefit to just letting people talk.
Like, let people say whatever the fuck they want to say, even if it sucks.
This is the benefit of Twitter.
But this is also the bad part.
It's like the fucking song has so many millions of hits on Twitter.
It's been banned from every platform.
But is it good to ban things from platforms, or is it better to let it be out there and let people talk about it?
Because if you ban it, then people want to hear it more.
tom segura
That's true.
joe rogan
And then it becomes more popular, and then it kind of supports what he says, which is that there's this concerted effort if you talk about...
Jewish people, that they're going to remove you from everything, remove you from banking, which is what he's saying.
They run everything.
So if they didn't, like if it was just you were talking shit about Puerto Ricans, look what happened to Tony.
Nothing.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
He's doing great.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
You know what I mean?
Like if there's certain people that you're allowed to pick on and make jokes about or mock or say something and you...
You can get away with it.
tom segura
Yeah.
Well, I think he's made his point.
I think we all get it now.
joe rogan
It's never going to end.
But how does it end?
This is the question.
When I was watching that song, first of all, I was by myself when I first saw the song.
I was like, what is this?
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
Like, no way.
tom segura
Yeah, yeah.
joe rogan
I was like, no way.
No way.
And I'm watching it on my phone.
I'm like, yo.
And then my first thought was, how does this end?
Because this ends.
This is going to end.
There's going to come a time where they're going to realize, like, this is a problem.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
So how does it end?
Does it end in assassination?
Does it end in...
tom segura
There's definitely people that want to kill him.
joe rogan
Financial ruin?
tom segura
Yeah.
I don't know what his financial situation is.
I know that, like, there's been all these...
Over the last five years, there's been times where, like, his, you know...
Net worth has been reported at, like, such a crazy amount.
And then I remember, like, funds were frozen.
And he was like, I don't have anything.
And then it was, like, all back.
I don't know what his financial situation is.
joe rogan
Well, they can't steal your money.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
But they can debank you.
tom segura
Yeah.
Where no one will bank with you, basically.
unidentified
Right.
joe rogan
So it's like, how does that work?
Like, where do you get your ATM card?
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
Is it from the Bank of fucking Portugal?
Like, what do you have to do?
Like, how does that work?
tom segura
You know what I thought about when I was watching that video?
I was like, how do you get...
I don't know, however many actors.
joe rogan
That's easy.
That's the easy part.
tom segura
I think it's crazy.
I think a lot of people would be like, what?
joe rogan
Oh, that's the easy part.
You put out a casting call in LA, everyone's soulless.
They have no fucking soul.
tom segura
Nuts.
joe rogan
They just want to get famous.
You're going to do a project with Kanye?
Okay, let's go.
tom segura
Let's do it.
What do I have to say?
joe rogan
Also, I'm just acting.
Just like that guy in Inglourious Basterds wasn't really a Nazi.
tom segura
Right.
joe rogan
I'm not really a Nazi.
Listen, man, I got to do what I got to do.
I got kids to feed.
tom segura
Yeah.
It's nuts.
It's pretty nuts.
Look, he's super talented, man.
One of my thoughts after hearing that song was like, man, I wish he would release this song with a different hook.
joe rogan
Yeah, it's not going to happen.
tom segura
No, I know he's not going to, but that's what I...
One of my thoughts was, I was like, man, I wish he would...
joe rogan
It's so crazy.
It's so crazy because his last album before that was a banger.
It's like he came out of the gate...
Showing people that he's still got it.
Like, yeah, you might have pulled me off all these platforms.
You might have debanked me.
You might have taken away my Yeezy deal with Adidas, but damn, I still got it.
tom segura
And that one was released everywhere, right?
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Oh, man, that's in the Spotify playlist that we play in the green room all the time.
There's some fucking killer songs in that, man.
tom segura
Yeah, he's...
joe rogan
Classics.
Classics.
He's got so many bangers.
But...
You know, this one, he's just like letting people, I guess in his eye, I mean, I don't know.
I haven't talked to him about it, but I guess he's like, I'll do whatever the fuck I want.
I'm going to say whatever the fuck I want.
tom segura
Yeah, clearly.
joe rogan
So I'm going to do the one thing that you're never, ever, ever supposed to do.
I'm going to make a catchy song with Heil Hitler.
tom segura
Yeah.
It's just like, whoa!
That is the ultimate, like, I'll do whatever the fuck I want.
joe rogan
Yeah, and you had to say, like, in the casting, there's, like, a description of all the stuff if you want to be a part of this production.
Like, you have to be comfortable with swastikas.
tom segura
That was in the...
joe rogan
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's got a diamond-encrusted swastika.
tom segura
That's also insane, dude.
joe rogan
By the way, you know a Jew sold him that.
tom segura
Probably.
Or at least applied to diamonds.
joe rogan
Where'd the diamonds come from?
tom segura
That's insane.
joe rogan
The Jewish people have been controlling diamonds for a long time.
tom segura
It's insane.
joe rogan
They're very smart about the diamonds because the diamonds aren't even really valuable.
tom segura
You know what's fucking crazy in jewelry?
Because see, this is one thing I don't trust about.
There's certain businesses where you're like, I don't know what I'm looking at.
Right.
So like a car, for instance, you have the reference.
To go, like, how much should this cost?
joe rogan
Right.
tom segura
Right?
Right.
So, like, it gives you some personal...
joe rogan
You see a Lamborghini, you know, that's like a $300,000 car.
Right.
tom segura
And you can, like, check with people.
joe rogan
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
tom segura
But, like, a piece of jewelry?
joe rogan
Right.
tom segura
This guy who I bought a watch from was like, this jewelry is like, you know, this ring or whatever.
It's like, whatever, $50,000 or something.
I was like, oh, wow.
He's like, do you want it?
I was like, I don't know.
And then like a month or two later, he sent me the same thing.
He's like, I'm trying to move this now.
Do you want it for like $20?
unidentified
What?
tom segura
And I was like, it's $20?
He's like, yeah, I'm just trying to move it now.
joe rogan
What does that mean?
What do you own on it?
What's it really cost?
tom segura
That's what I'm saying.
And so you kind of go like, wait a minute.
So I was going to pay $30,000 more for it?
joe rogan
That would just go to you?
tom segura
That's so gross, right?
unidentified
It is gross.
joe rogan
I would never trust that guy again.
tom segura
It just really turned me off, man.
joe rogan
Well, you know, it's really kooky.
Fake diamonds that are real diamonds.
Girls don't want them.
tom segura
Right.
joe rogan
I was reading this whole thing about the demand and supply for lab-created diamonds that are absolutely diamonds.
They're not fake diamonds.
It's a real diamond.
But it's not a diamond that's pulled out of the ground by slaves.
tom segura
It's just lab generated.
joe rogan
Yeah, it's not like a blood diamond.
tom segura
And girls are like, I don't want that shit.
joe rogan
I don't want that.
It's not real.
I'll know it's not real.
tom segura
I want someone to suffer first.
joe rogan
Well, it's not that.
What it is is the same thing as not wanting a fake Rolex, even though it's, like, physically the exact same thing as a Rolex.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
But that's at least a brand...
Like, if you're a person who loves engineering and craftsmanship...
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
Like, I don't want to, you know...
Someone to rip off someone's work.
Yeah.
Like, that's art.
Like, your watch.
That's a piece of art.
It's a piece of art.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
So it makes sense you wouldn't want a fake piece of art.
But a diamond is just...
It's just elements compressed over time.
Yeah.
And they figured out how to do that where they make perfect diamonds.
tom segura
Fraction of the cost, I'm assuming, right?
joe rogan
Yeah, but the demand is super low.
tom segura
Yeah.
Wow.
unidentified
99% less.
tom segura
99?
joe rogan
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah, in some cases.
Especially the big ones.
tom segura
Yeah, I was going to say, you get like a three-carat diamond.
joe rogan
Yeah, right, right, right.
The ladies don't want them.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
I'm in a real one.
tom segura
It's so crazy.
unidentified
I don't know.
tom segura
I feel cheap.
That's one of the things that I feel so...
joe rogan
Do you think I'm cheap?
They don't want that shit, dude.
tom segura
She finds out that what you got her was like the...
The shittier version?
joe rogan
The lab-created, but it's not even shittier.
That's the thing, it's like lab-created diamonds are Actual diamonds.
It's literal alchemy.
Remember in the old days, they were trying to figure out a way to use all these chemicals to make gold?
That was what alchemists are for.
Kings would spend insane amounts of money on these alchemists to try to get these alchemists to figure out how to manufacture.
I think I can make gold for you, sire.
I need a laboratory.
And these dudes are sniffing fucking mercury all day and dying young.
tom segura
It's the craziest thing.
To spend on.
unidentified
But imagine if the lady's like, no, you made that gold in a lab.
I don't want it.
joe rogan
I don't want it.
unidentified
I want real gold that's from Africa that came out of the ground.
tom segura
Yeah, we just want the real thing.
joe rogan
I want the real stuff that they picked out of the river.
I want the real stuff they got from Alaska.
I want the real stuff.
But it's just gold, baby.
tom segura
It's gold.
joe rogan
It's just an element.
tom segura
Who cares where it's from?
joe rogan
No.
I want stuff that's forged inside of a sun.
tom segura
How many women out there do you think to rock something that they're so proud of that if they go to get it assessed, it has to happen all the time.
joe rogan
It happened to my family.
tom segura
It did?
joe rogan
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I don't want to say who.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
But someone relative, not like close, but...
Broke up with the guy and found out that it was a cubic zirconium.
tom segura
That's hilarious.
joe rogan
LOL.
tom segura
That's very funny.
joe rogan
But perfect for that guy.
I was like, that guy's such a piece of shit.
I knew it.
I could have told you it was a fake diamond.
tom segura
That's so funny.
joe rogan
I laughed so hard.
unidentified
Yeah.
tom segura
So she took it to the jeweler.
Yes.
joe rogan
Well, she's like, I gotta break up with this guy.
I don't have any money.
She's living with this shyster, this fucking guy who's like a just...
Dirtbag, you know, but had some money, but not real money.
Just like a bullshit artist.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
Just like, oh, he's a bullshit artist.
I gotta leave him.
Oh, fuck.
unidentified
Fuck.
joe rogan
Like, I'm gonna, you know, I'll have ten grand.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
I'll sell this right.
tom segura
They're like, I'll give you a hundred bucks.
joe rogan
It's worth nothing.
They didn't want any of it.
It's not worth anything.
tom segura
That's amazing.
joe rogan
Fake diamonds worth zero money.
tom segura
Zero Alex.
joe rogan
Looks exactly like, like if you're in a party.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
If you go to a party, if you're a woman and you have this beautiful, big-ass fucking rock and you walk in and everybody's like, oh, look at her ring.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Oh my God, it's sparkling.
Nobody knows.
Nobody has any idea that it's fake.
tom segura
No one knows.
joe rogan
I mean, literally, it's, again, it's not a fake Ferrari.
tom segura
Well, that was the thing, Chad Ochocinco, the football player, because like a lot of the athletes, they rock diamond earrings and stuff.
He was like, he was like, yeah, I wear fakes.
He's like, especially because like if I'm, Whether it was on the field or going out, he was like, I have a real one at home.
I was like, I go out, I wear the fake one.
joe rogan
Well, he saved a lot of money.
tom segura
A lot of money.
He was also always very on top of not overspending.
joe rogan
Very smart dude.
Very smart dude.
For everything except fighting.
He has this very bizarre idea.
Like him and Shannon Sharp argue all the time.
This bizarre idea that he could fight MMA guys and beat them.
tom segura
Oh, that's crazy.
That's crazy.
joe rogan
Well, it's the reason why he was such a great athlete.
tom segura
Yeah.
Confidence.
Crazy confidence.
joe rogan
It's just unstoppable belief in yourself, which, listen, he's such a great athlete that if he did compete in MMA, he probably would be a world champion.
Because he's got that, like if Michael Jordan decided he was going to, if MMA existed when Michael Jordan was alive, he'd probably be the light heavyweight champion of the world.
He'd probably figure out a way to fuck everybody else up.
And also like this drive, this championship mindset.
It's just rare humans that choose to focus on Football, or soccer, or basketball, or whatever it is.
tom segura
The thing they get obsessed with.
joe rogan
But if they put the same amount of energy from the same amount, at an early enough age, there's certain barriers that cannot be overcome, and one of them is physical maturity.
Once you're 36 years old, if you start boxing at 36 years old, I don't care what, you're not going to be a world champion.
It's too hard.
Is that what you saw with Francis Ngannou when he fought Anthony Joshua?
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
That's the difference.
You can't just jump on in and fight like an Olympic gold medalist who's been doing it his whole life.
He's gonna do things to you.
You're not gonna know what he's doing and he's gonna crack you.
But the reason why he thinks that...
Ocho Cinco thinks that is because he was a fucking monster athlete.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
He knows how hard he works.
He knows how gifted he is.
Yeah.
But he just thinks, but if, you know, you put him in there with a guy, like a Dreckus Duplessis or something like that, he'd get fucking mauled.
tom segura
No, he's thinking, yeah, because he was a fucking precision route runner.
Great.
joe rogan
When someone's mounting you, drilling.
Elbows in your eye socket.
tom segura
I know.
It doesn't matter.
joe rogan
It doesn't matter.
You don't know how to block them.
You don't know how to stop the rear naked choke.
You don't know how to stop the trip.
You don't know which way to roll on a heel hook.
tom segura
They're like, I'll figure that shit out.
joe rogan
No, you won't.
You're going to get your knees ripped apart.
You're going to get knocked unconscious.
It's like reality.
But I love the fact that people think that way.
tom segura
There's a lot that think like that.
Outspoken.
joe rogan
It's my mentality, bro.
My mentality is different.
I understand.
I have that stupid part of my brain, too, but I'm also smart enough to go, hey, fuckface.
I have two people in my head.
I have the general who tells me what to do, and then I have the soldier that's like, wait a minute.
This is going to get me killed.
I'm not running with a hand grenade and all these bullets flying my way.
tom segura
And you know enough, seen enough fighting to know.
What your limits are.
joe rogan
Especially with martial arts is the big one.
It's like you don't know, man.
There's little tiny dudes that can choke you to death and you have no idea.
In your mind, you're like, they can't do shit to me.
Motherfucker, I could bench 300 pounds.
The next thing you know, arm drag.
He's got your back.
unidentified
He's got your body triangle on you.
joe rogan
You don't want to tap out, but you have to.
tom segura
You have to.
joe rogan
You're dead.
You're dead.
It's over.
tom segura
That's why it's good.
It's good to do, like, to even try.
I've done a little bit of boxing, striking, I've done a little bit of jiu-jitsu.
It's great to have the awareness.
It is.
joe rogan
It's a nice wake-up call.
Yeah.
When I first started doing jujitsu, I was already like a very accomplished striker.
I was really good at striking.
So I was like, I know how to fight.
And then I went to jujitsu class.
I got my ass kicked every day.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
I was like, this is crazy.
I was so wrong.
I have this completely distorted idea of my abilities.
tom segura
Yeah.
Yeah, it really humbles you, right?
joe rogan
A lot of people walking around out there, especially men, just think they know how to fight.
It's a terrible thing to find out on YouTube.
To see people find out that you don't really know how to fight, you just think you're going to bluff your way.
tom segura
I think there's the male thing.
Men think they know how to fight, that they're funny, that they fuck good, and that they can drive.
Those are the four things.
I can do all this shit.
joe rogan
Yeah, delusions.
There's like manly things you don't want someone to be better than you at.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
And you get delusional things.
tom segura
Those four are the ones that like come up the most, I think.
joe rogan
Pool's another one.
tom segura
Shoot pool?
joe rogan
Yeah, a lot of guys pretend they're good at pool.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
I've had a bunch of dudes say they play good pool.
I'm like, really?
Let's find out.
Let's find out.
tom segura
Do any ever surprise you that they are pretty good?
joe rogan
Never.
tom segura
Never?
joe rogan
Not one.
tom segura
Not one?
joe rogan
Nope.
tom segura
Wow.
That's actually...
I thought you would find at least a couple.
joe rogan
Nope.
tom segura
So they're always like...
joe rogan
No, usually people that are really good at pool, they'll tell you.
Like, oh yeah, I used to play a lot.
I played a lot of tournaments.
I did this or that.
Like, where'd you play?
And they're like, oh, I played at Chelsea Billiards in New York City.
Oh, okay, okay, okay.
Did you do a lot of tournaments?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I did a lot of gambling.
It was fucking me up in high school.
Like, okay.
tom segura
I get it.
joe rogan
You know what you're talking about.
But the guy's like, yeah, man, I'm fucking good at pool.
I'm like, are you?
Where do you play?
It's like going bars, mostly.
Right.
So it's one of two things happening.
Either they're trying to sucker you into a game, and they are really good at pool, or they're delusional.
And every time I've ever experienced it, it's delusional.
tom segura
Wow.
joe rogan
There's a lot of people, dude.
Like, famous people.
tom segura
Really?
unidentified
Oh, yeah, yeah.
joe rogan
A bunch.
Yeah.
tom segura
They're like, I'm pretty good.
joe rogan
Bring them over.
I don't want to say names, but bring them over onto the table, and they're like, what the fuck?
tom segura
Oh, you have to tell me these names after.
joe rogan
I'll tell you afterwards.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Yeah.
It's fun.
tom segura
It's fun to see somebody.
joe rogan
Yeah, it's fun.
But, you know, it's one of those things that people like, like a lot of men want to think they're good at poker.
Like, oh, I can read people.
tom segura
Like, sure.
Oh, yeah, that's another one.
Dudes think they're good at playing cards.
joe rogan
Poker's a great one.
Ari Shafir, when we were at the store, Ari for years made a living playing poker.
tom segura
He made a living doing that?
joe rogan
100%.
He would go and play in the bicycle club and all those.
tom segura
So he was pretty good.
joe rogan
Ari was very good at poker.
But he would tell you, like, all these people think they're going to play.
They don't know what the fuck they're going to do.
Because they play stupid.
Like, he's just intelligent and calculated.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
He knows.
tom segura
You know who's really good?
Who?
Phillip Lee and his wife.
joe rogan
Oh, really?
tom segura
They play in tournaments.
joe rogan
Oh, wow.
tom segura
Margarita and Phillip, they play in tournaments.
joe rogan
So is Bruce Buffer.
Bruce Buffer played in the World Series of Poker.
tom segura
I never got into poker.
And I remember when I was working in post-production, like in the early 2000s, it was starting to get more and more.
Now it's, I think, immensely popular.
But there was like an uptick when they started to televise it.
joe rogan
You know what it was?
You know what made it uptick?
tom segura
No.
joe rogan
You could see the cards.
Went at home.
You know who's got what.
tom segura
You know who's got what.
unidentified
Right.
joe rogan
So you're watching it play out.
That's a huge element.
That's on home, because Anthony Giordano, my friend from the UFC, who does all the UFC direction, he's done my comedy specials too.
He explained it to me.
He's like, "The moment you could see those cards, it changed the game." Because now it made it exciting for people to watch.
Because you're watching people play poker, you don't know what anybody's hand is until the end.
This is stupid.
But if there's like, you've got a camera...
So as they fan open their cards, there's a camera under the table.
tom segura
And it shows you what they got.
joe rogan
And it shows you what everybody's got.
tom segura
That's more exciting.
That makes a lot of sense.
joe rogan
Oh yeah, it's way more fun.
tom segura
Dude, I don't even know how to play poker.
And I would accept invites to poker games.
And what happens is, you start playing with how you think to play.
And people start, when they don't know you, they're like, this guy.
He's either fucking really ballsy and good, or he's a retard.
And that's what would happen to me, is a couple games in, people were like, okay, yeah, this guy.
And then pretty soon they're like, do you play poker?
And I was like, I'm not really sure what we're doing here.
They're like, get the fuck out of here, man.
joe rogan
Well, they also want to rob you.
That's a big thing, too, because you're a big fish.
tom segura
Well, I wasn't at all then.
joe rogan
No, no, no.
tom segura
I was just like...
Going, like, with people from work, you know?
I was just, like, doing it socially.
joe rogan
That's got to be a thing where a lot of people, like, that are really wealthy, that get into gambling.
tom segura
Oh.
Be a target?
joe rogan
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
tom segura
Oh, yeah, I'm sure.
joe rogan
Well, that's a big thing with pool players, too, is occasionally poker players.
Because poker players, a lot of them, they gamble on a bunch of different stuff.
You know, a lot of them are just gambling addicts.
tom segura
Totally.
joe rogan
And so there was always a bunch of poker players that would play pool, and they were kind of okay at pool, but they would get insane spots.
Like, say, I knew this guy that was playing one pocket for like $100,000 a set.
And one pocket is a weird game where a pool table has six pockets.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
And so, like, if we were playing in one pocket, you would have this pocket on the right, I'd have this pocket on the left.
And there's 15 balls.
And so, all I have to do is make eight balls into my hole, and I win the game.
tom segura
Okay.
joe rogan
Normally.
But if you don't know how to play, and I'm trying to sucker you into playing, I go, okay, listen.
I'll spot you on 15-ball game.
I'll spot you 13 balls.
tom segura
Thirteen.
joe rogan
Thirteen balls.
You just have to get two.
We're going to play for big money.
We're going to play for...
Race to five for $100,000.
So that means a game of one pocket takes a long time.
It's not like a game of nine ball.
A game of nine ball, you could be done two minutes.
You just run the rack.
Like a good player.
tom segura
Because anywhere you can go.
joe rogan
Yeah.
tom segura
But in this case, you have to go to one pocket.
joe rogan
Exactly.
One pocket.
And you can't leave a shot.
Because if you're playing a good player, so like if...
You were playing...
Okay, me.
Let's say me, because I'm what's called a B player.
I can't beat pros, but compared to regular people, oh my god, how do you play so good?
Regular people don't know how to play.
That's why it is.
But if I played a pro, if I played my friend Fedor Gorst, who's world champion, I would probably need...
Out of 15 balls, I'd probably need 11 balls to have a chance.
And even then, I'm probably getting robbed.
tom segura
Really?
joe rogan
Yeah.
tom segura
Because he's just gonna...
joe rogan
He's gonna figure out a way to never leave me a shot, and then...
He's going to calculate when he has a shot, can he open up the stack, and then run all the other balls.
Because you don't break like you break with eight ball when you break with one pocket.
It's a very calculated game.
And it's a big gambling game.
The most money gets spent on...
Like, I was just watching online the other day a game.
They were playing for $240,000.
Yeah.
It was a match for $240,000.
I think it was a three-day match.
tom segura
I've got to watch one of these.
joe rogan
The pressure's insane.
But this guy, Justin Bergman, who's like one of the best players in the world, was playing this guy and he gave him a crazy spot.
I think it was...
It might have been like...
It was something crazy like 10-6 or something like that.
Where he had to make 10 balls, the other guy had to make 6 balls.
And the guy was a good player too.
tom segura
And so...
So this is more like chess almost, it feels like, right?
Because you're calculating.
joe rogan
You have to risk reward because, say, you might have a long spot in your hole, and if you make it, you have all these balls and you can run out the game.
But if you miss, you're selling out, and this guy only has to make six balls, and he might be able to make six balls.
tom segura
And it's any six.
joe rogan
Exactly, any six.
tom segura
Wow.
joe rogan
It's just, any ball just has to be in your hole in any order.
It's not a thing like, it's not like a rotation game, like one through nine or eight ball where you're like, I got stripes, you got solids.
tom segura
It's just, anything goes.
joe rogan
Any ball in that hole.
tom segura
And like the really, really good players can spot you that much and you still don't have a chance.
joe rogan
You don't have a chance.
And there's really good players, like there's a guy named Tony Chohan who's real famous.
His nickname's T-Rex.
And he's like a big time money gambler.
And there's another guy named Scott Frost who's a friend of mine.
Yeah.
Who's like one of the biggest one pocket players of all time.
Guarantee you Scott Frost has gambled over the course of his life.
Millions of dollars have changed hands with Scott Frost playing one pocket.
Yeah.
He's like one of the best one pocket players like literally ever.
And these guys are playing, you know, they'll meet up in Kentucky.
They'll have steak horses and then people on the rail.
So all the people that are watching are gambling as well.
So you might have a, you know, there might be a set that's being played for half a million dollars.
Fucking A. Yeah.
Like this one that I was watching, the Justin Bergman one, was $240,000 they were playing for.
unidentified
Fuck.
joe rogan
Yeah.
And who knows how many people are gambling on the side.
tom segura
That's what I'm saying.
It's generating a lot more.
joe rogan
Oh, it's crazy.
tom segura
That's when you think about, like, I think it's easy to forget when you're just into, like, the game.
The amount of money that changes hands week to week with the NFL.
joe rogan
Oh, God.
tom segura
Oh, my God, dude.
joe rogan
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
tom segura
Billions.
joe rogan
Billions.
Has to be.
Has to be.
tom segura
It is such a gambling machine.
joe rogan
Oh, yeah.
tom segura
And, like, the NFL kind of, like, goes, like, no, it's not.
It's about the gridiron.
But then they also got to the point where it's, like, you know, they couldn't ignore it.
Because then you have sponsorships, right, of, like, There's gambling sites.
We're the official gambling site.
So it's all intermingled now.
joe rogan
Listen, I'm all for you being able to do whatever the fuck you want to do.
I like it.
I don't like rules that regulate people's stupidity.
tom segura
Be as dumb as you want.
joe rogan
If you want to do flips on your dirt bike, you should be able to do that.
So you should also be able to gamble your life away.
If you want to do that.
tom segura
I don't think you should.
joe rogan
But I believe in...
I believe in Darwinism.
I believe you're supposed to let people, like, lose everything.
tom segura
Yeah.
jamie vernon
2024, $148.7 billion gambled.
joe rogan
That's interesting because that's what Doge found they spent on transgender animal studies, the exact amount.
No.
tom segura
Bro, that's so much money.
joe rogan
$148 billion.
Three a week?
Listen, compared to what the United States government chews up every day, that's nothing.
tom segura
No, that's true.
jamie vernon
This is just the United States, too.
This doesn't include any other country.
joe rogan
That's so crazy.
And that's just football?
jamie vernon
No, no.
It's all sports.
joe rogan
Oh, all sports.
jamie vernon
It's got to be mostly football.
tom segura
Yeah, that's a lot of football, dude.
joe rogan
Well, there's been a lot of scandals with the NBA, right?
tom segura
Well, yeah, the...
joe rogan
Referees?
Shaving points?
tom segura
Donahay, I think is his name.
That was nuts.
joe rogan
There's got to be a lot of those dirtbags out there.
Which totally makes sense.
tom segura
And it's so funny, too, because the NBA, there's probably, like, in football, there's this thing that happens where, like, every single down you could call holding if you wanted to.
Holding just happens in every play, right?
joe rogan
Right.
tom segura
Every play.
But what they...
Tend to call are egregious holds, meaning that the guy who's the defender is going past you, and you see the offensive guy's arm extended, pulling the jersey.
Like, I would call that.
Basketball, it is so ticky-tack what can be called and what can be ignored and what is ignored and what is called, and it's just like ref to ref.
Like, there's these clear, palming.
Traveling charges like you see it sometimes like what was that like right fingertips like graze the guys aren't and they fucking call the foul and then somebody gets hacked no foul right and it's just you kind of go well it's just like in the moment of the game and like if that guy wants to be dirty like the one was mm-hmm You can make some money.
Oh, my God.
joe rogan
Yeah, and if you're working for the mob or something like that, this is your job.
Your job is to shave points.
Your job is to make sure that these guys don't score as much.
tom segura
They just keep calling the fouls on the other guys, sending you to the foul line.
joe rogan
God.
tom segura
Keep that spread open.
It's really gross, man.
Yeah.
joe rogan
There's a real problem with it with MMA, too.
tom segura
Is there really?
joe rogan
Yeah.
Yeah, there's a real problem with MMA.
Here's the problem with MMA gambling.
Incompetent judging.
tom segura
Well, that's the thing.
joe rogan
Is it incompetent or is it...
tom segura
Dirty.
joe rogan
Dirty.
tom segura
With boxing, too.
joe rogan
Yeah.
tom segura
We've never seen anything...
joe rogan
Oh, yeah.
tom segura
Because, like, even the layperson can watch someone beat the shit out of somebody and be like, this guy's fucking whooping this guy's ass.
And you see the decision go the other way and you're like, what happened?
joe rogan
There's been a few decisions.
Like that.
There was one lady in Vegas and she got barred from ever judging fights again.
There was a few fights that she was involved with.
Everybody was like, what the fuck?
tom segura
And she was the common denominator.
joe rogan
I don't know if she's ever been charged.
I don't want to mention her name.
But I know that there was a real issue.
It was a real issue with world title fights.
Where people were like, how the fuck is this?
Because say if like...
Say it's Canelo Alvarez is fighting someone that you know he's gonna win.
You know he's gonna be.
But you can place a prop bet on it being a split decision.
Or a majority decision.
All you have to do is get one person to say it's a draw.
tom segura
And that's it.
joe rogan
And like, look, he's gonna win.
tom segura
He's gonna win.
joe rogan
He's gonna win either way.
But if I want to place a shit ton of money on this one thing, some dirty judge, Could score to draw.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
And you just have to convince that dirty judge.
Like, just listen, doesn't matter.
You're not affecting this guy's career.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
He's going to get the win.
No one's going to remember.
Just make it a majority decision.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
And you just got to justify why you thought, I'm a big fan of defense.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
I think the other guy just, like, blocked a lot of punches.
I thought it was great.
tom segura
It's really, it's...
There's so many, I feel like, in combat sports where the judging is...
joe rogan
Because it's so subjective.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
But it's just, for a fighter, the crazy thing is you lose half your purse.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
Because you might get $100,000 to fight and then $100,000 to win.
And so if they hit you with a bullshit decision, you lost $100,000.
tom segura
That's...
joe rogan
Because some hometown decision or some corruption.
tom segura
Yeah.
It's really unique that you have a sport, when you think about it, where there's a subjective winner.
Right.
joe rogan
It's not like football.
unidentified
Right.
tom segura
We're like, this is the score.
joe rogan
Every time the score.
Yeah.
Basketball.
Ball goes in the net.
Score.
You could shave point.
You could bullshit.
But if you're playing Michael Jordan, he's going to score on you.
How are you going to stop him?
You're not going to stop him, right?
So the numbers he puts up are the numbers he puts up.
But in boxing and in MMA, remember when Roy Jones lost in the Olympics?
Do you remember that?
tom segura
Yes, yes, yes.
joe rogan
He lost the Olympics in Korea.
And he fucked that dude up.
He beat that dude from pillar to post.
100%.
It was nationalism.
It was like, it was in Korea.
Like, Koreans are very proud.
And they're like, he won.
Like, what?
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
Roy Jones Jr. in his prime in the Olympics.
I mean, not even in his prime yet.
unidentified
Yeah.
tom segura
He fucked that guy up.
joe rogan
Fucked that guy up.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
And, you know, there's been a few decisions like that in boxing where you're like, how is this?
tom segura
What was the one, because I watched a video on this, I think recently too, where I was like, oh, what was the explanation where it was Kennedy, Tim, right?
Is that his name?
The fighter?
joe rogan
Tim Kennedy?
tom segura
Right?
Is that his name?
joe rogan
Sure.
tom segura
Fighting the Cuban guy?
joe rogan
Yolo Romero.
tom segura
Yeah.
unidentified
Yeah.
tom segura
That was a really...
joe rogan
That was a bad one.
tom segura
That was bad.
joe rogan
That was a bad one.
Yeah, that was a...
We're like, you know, I don't know if that's the referee's fault or whatever, but he didn't get off of his stool.
So Kennedy, Tim had rocked him real bad at the end of the round, like real bad.
And then Yoel went to his corner wobbling fucking out of it.
And at the end of the one minute break that you're supposed to have sat on the stool.
It should be it's over.
tom segura
It's over.
joe rogan
It should be it's over.
But he got an additional, I want to say, more than 30 seconds to recover.
Before he got and then he wound up beating Tim, but also Psychologically for the guy who was fucking him up for Tim.
It's like no this fight is over.
You're fucking me.
Yeah Fucked here.
Yeah, and so then your brain starts and then you get out of your Fight mindset which has to be Zen because he's get you're getting into the injustice mindset Yeah, isn't anybody fucking yes, yes, yes, yes, and there was That was just like an oversight.
It was crazy.
I don't want to pass blame, but someone fucked up.
It should have been, in my mind, one minute, get up.
Are you going to get up?
Fight's over.
This guy won.
That's it?
He retired on his stool?
Fuck you.
Fight's over.
That's what it should have been, in my mind.
Also, when the round does go over one minute and the guy doesn't get up...
You put a burden on Kennedy that is just totally unfair.
Totally unfair.
Especially when he was rocking him at the end of the round.
The more time he gets to recover, there's a reason why in boxing you only get 10 seconds.
The more time he gets to recover, the more it's possible that he can win.
This is not fair.
It's supposed to be one minute and that's it.
If the fight doesn't restart at one minute and he's not ready, it's over.
So that's only happened once.
And unfortunately for Tim, it happened to him.
tom segura
Yeah, that does suck.
joe rogan
It was a bummer.
It was a bummer because Yoel Romero went on to...
Yoel was a freak of all freaks.
The guy could recover.
And he was also just built like a superhero.
tom segura
He looked like a goddamn pit bull.
joe rogan
He was part of the Cuban athlete program.
Yeah.
tom segura
Traps in the head.
joe rogan
Bro, everybody who fought him said that hitting him hurt.
tom segura
Hitting him.
joe rogan
So he's like, he's made out of metal.
They all said that.
Everybody said, like, Robert Whittaker, who beat him twice, who was the middleweight champion, he's like, every time you hit him, it hurt you.
Like, he's just different.
unidentified
Yeah.
tom segura
Freaky guy.
joe rogan
Yeah, so like if Chad Ochocinco thinks he was gonna beat that guy.
tom segura
No, no.
joe rogan
Listen, bro.
No.
There's people like you out there that also really know how to fight.
Yeah.
There's people that have that.
That's a problem with really tough guys.
They think they're the only one like that.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
It's like you don't want to discourage that in a fighter because that's the thing that gets them to a championship level in the first place is this belief that they're just different than everybody.
They're the chosen one.
They're destined for this.
But the wake-up call that those guys get when they get knocked unconscious is the craziest thing.
It's like the reality.
Like, oh, my God, I am the victim now.
I am what I have been doing to other people.
Someone just did to me, and now it's over.
tom segura
The deepest.
Well, because it's also...
It fucks with your identity.
joe rogan
Exactly.
tom segura
Like, who you are.
joe rogan
Oh, yeah.
Your worth.
tom segura
Yeah, your whole self-worth.
joe rogan
Your girlfriend's not attracted to you anymore?
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
You just got laid out?
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Like, everybody thinks of you as a loser now?
Yeah.
Hey, I had a rough one Saturday, huh?
What happened?
tom segura
What happened?
joe rogan
Hey, what happened?
And all your...
That fat, stupid fucking neighbor that's happy that you're a loser now?
unidentified
Yeah.
Like, yeah.
joe rogan
Wasn't your night, huh, pal?
unidentified
Yeah.
tom segura
Happens to all of us.
joe rogan
And you're like, hey, man, fuck you.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
Like, listen.
You know?
unidentified
Maybe fucking take a job where you're not getting punched in the head, stupid.
joe rogan
Don't get mad at me.
tom segura
Exactly.
joe rogan
People love it when the dominator fails.
tom segura
Yeah.
We like to...
You know, it's funny because we like to...
Like society, I think.
I don't know if it's just all over the world or it feels like it's kind of American.
We love to discover someone.
Ride with them.
Want everyone to know this is who...
I've been with this person.
From the beginning.
See them reach a certain height and then go, oh, fuck them.
jamie vernon
Fuck that guy.
tom segura
And then bring him down.
You see it all the time.
joe rogan
Well, because our society is infested with bitches.
Like an apartment filled with roaches, our society is infested with bitches.
And there's always going to be people that don't do their best, that don't go for things, that don't try real hard, that never put themselves out there.
And so when someone does and fails, they're like, ha, ha, ha.
And they want to troll them on social media.
tom segura
You're not better than me.
joe rogan
I tell so many fighters, you've got to stay offline.
Because I've talked to fighters, like, when they're arguing with people online, and I'll meet them, I'll see them, and I'll go, "Hey man, listen to me.
I know you think you're doing, like, you're shutting these people up.
If you ever see you, I'll fucking smack you." Dude, I'm telling you, right now, you've got to stop doing this.
You've got to stop engaging and stop reading these things.
This thing is poison.
You're reading poison.
And it gets in your head.
It gets in your head while you're training.
tom segura
I'm sure.
joe rogan
You think about it while you're training.
I know it does.
A lot of these guys are very fragile.
Because a lot of these guys got bullied and picked on, which is why they got into fighting in the first place.
tom segura
To defend themselves.
joe rogan
And then you're getting bullied by 100,000 unknown, anonymous 15-year-olds.
And your neighbor.
tom segura
Yeah.
Your neighbor's hoping for your downfall.
joe rogan
Dude, I was reading this story about this lady who...
This girl, this young girl, was getting mercilessly trolled online and she found out it was her mom.
tom segura
Yes, I saw this story.
joe rogan
Bro.
tom segura
It's incomprehensible.
joe rogan
Incomprehensible.
There's monsters out there.
tom segura
That's a monster.
To do that to your daughter?
She's just jealous of her daughter's looks and popularity?
Fucking crazy.
That's a monster.
joe rogan
Monsters are real.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
Yeah, you can't, you know, you can't, like, fucking Gandhi everything.
unidentified
No.
joe rogan
You can't, you know, Sat Nam the whole world.
Ah, Yamaste, Namaste.
No, that's not real.
unidentified
No.
joe rogan
Like, there's people out there you gotta kill.
unidentified
Yeah.
tom segura
This happened to, like, um...
Some soccer player, too.
I remember I watched a doc on him.
It's kind of vague to me, but he was getting totally mercilessly trolled and attacked by someone, and it turned out to be one of his friends.
Oh!
joe rogan
Marvin Gaye got killed by his dad.
tom segura
Yeah, that's...
joe rogan
You want to hear something crazy?
I was dating this girl, and I was a giant Marvin Gaye fan.
I think she didn't like it, that I was a giant...
She was kind of a cunt.
She was kind of a cunt.
And one of the things that she said was, like, imagine how bad of a person he was that his own father killed him.
And I was like, that's what you got out of this?
That's your perspective?
That's what you got out of this?
She was such a bad person.
Like, what could he have done that would have justified his father shooting him and killing him?
I'll tell you what he did.
He fucking outshone his father.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
That's what he did.
He reached levels of love that his father couldn't possibly have achieved in his life.
And his father realized, I'll never be as good as my son.
Fuck my son.
And he hated him because of that.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
I mean, I'm sure there's probably a bunch of other stuff involved, too.
tom segura
But that's dark, man.
joe rogan
Dark.
You shot your son.
You shot your son.
And it's not like your son was trying to kill you.
tom segura
No.
joe rogan
And you had to defend yourself and shoot him.
No.
He's just an amazing singer that the whole world loved.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
And he probably has a bitch-ass friend.
Yeah, look at you, man.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
Your son Marvin's killing it, and you're just a fucking loser.
unidentified
Fucking kid.
tom segura
What was the...
Because I always knew that the father...
Was it like a clear-cut, like, homicide one?
joe rogan
Yeah, the father just shot him.
It was an interesting thing, because I think what had happened with Marvin Gaye was Marvin had achieved, like...
Incredible fame, but he got fucked over in some record deal where he had, like, no money.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
I think he had, like...
tom segura
Like, everybody in that era.
unidentified
Bro.
tom segura
So fucking predatory.
unidentified
Bro.
joe rogan
You want to talk about predatory?
tom segura
The worst.
The music business is, like, the most disgusting.
joe rogan
You ever read the thing that Courtney Lovard wrote about it?
About the music business?
A lot of people don't even think she wrote it because it's too good.
But it was essentially a breakdown of how bad the music business fucks you.
And this is at a time where you actually sold records.
tom segura
Tons of them sometimes, yeah.
joe rogan
Yeah, because now the music business, it's like the mask is off.
It doesn't provide any value.
And they still take 50% of your touring, which is crazy.
tom segura
Of your touring?
joe rogan
Yeah, 50-50.
They do 50-50 deals.
Merch, touring.
Yeah.
And what are they going to do?
tom segura
What do they provide?
joe rogan
They can't even get you on the radio because the radio doesn't exist.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
Like, you know, that's why people that break through from that model, like Oliver Anthony or, you know, Tyler, the creator is a great example, like just makes his own stuff, puts it all in.
It doesn't have to be.
tom segura
People don't even realize that in that era, too, you would, after your tour, after your tour and your hit album, that you'd be in debt.
joe rogan
Oh, yeah.
tom segura
To the record company.
So they're like, you got to do another album.
joe rogan
Oh, yeah.
And the record companies.
All rich.
Everyone's profiting.
And then also, they want you to subsidize the failures.
All these boy bands that they pushed that never made it, all the money that they put into that, that's a part of the accounting.
tom segura
So insane.
joe rogan
And then Hollywood does the same thing.
They would do the same thing with how much money a movie made.
There's been tons of lawsuits that are involved, that kind of stuff.
tom segura
Wait, but where were you with...
Marvin, you're like, he's broke?
joe rogan
Yeah, so he...
If I remember this story correctly, it was so depressing, I didn't even want to really get into it.
Because I think he had become a huge superstar and then didn't have any money.
Which is...
It's happened more than once.
And I think he might have had to move back in with his parents.
No!
tom segura
Really?
joe rogan
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I think that's the story.
See if you can find that.
jamie vernon
I mean, it says he bought his dad a Cadillac, but this is years later, though.
joe rogan
Right, but the thing is, like, he might have, like, bought him money when the money was flowing in, and then after a while, you know, that's the other thing that happens with artists.
Like, artists are impulsive, so they spend all their money, and then they don't really...
Like, how many artists get given, like, a Mercedes-Benz by, you know, the head of a label, and they think, like, oh, shit, I'm killing it.
Meanwhile, it's a leased car.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
You know, and they're...
Just siphoning money out of you.
tom segura
Someone's writing that loss.
joe rogan
You're just getting fucked.
You're getting fucked left and right and right and left.
And all they do is sell art.
All they do is sell art.
They don't make any of it, and they make more money than anybody.
tom segura
It's so crazy.
People didn't know, because now if you...
Or into music, whatever, you don't realize how much it was a thing to have music videos, right?
That used to be such the biggest thing.
And a lot of artists, especially the young artists, didn't even know that they were paying for the music video.
So the label would be like, go shoot your video.
And they'd be like, cool.
joe rogan
It's a million dollars.
tom segura
And they'd be like, great.
And then they're like, oh no, you're going to pay for that.
But they tell them later, we've got to deduct that million.
And they're like, wait, what?
joe rogan
They're not sophisticated.
tom segura
No.
joe rogan
They're not finance majors.
Which is what we were talking about earlier.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
You should learn that in school.
tom segura
You have no idea that you're like, wait, I thought you guys are paying for this.
joe rogan
Yeah.
No.
It's kind of funny that the video, like everything is visual.
You know, like everything's visual now.
There's so much video that people watch, but yet music videos kind of went away.
tom segura
I know.
joe rogan
Except Kanye's.
tom segura
Yeah, that one we definitely all saw.
joe rogan
And the new one looks like you made it for $40.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
Like, it doesn't...
tom segura
It's pretty...
joe rogan
I mean, it's like you got a drone and a bunch of people, you know, and Heil Hitler.
tom segura
And he had, like, the black light kind of effect.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Doesn't seem like that cost a lot of money.
tom segura
No, I don't think that probably costs a lot.
You can make things now, too, for so much less.
joe rogan
Oh, with AI?
tom segura
It's so accessible, yeah.
joe rogan
With AI, you don't even have to have the actual people doing it.
tom segura
Yeah, that's true.
joe rogan
Which is really crazy.
Like, what you could do now is nuts.
My daughter was showing me some stuff that you could do with just photographs.
Where she could take photographs, and then she throws them through this filter, and then they're dancing around and moving.
You're like, this is nuts.
So all you need is a photograph, and especially if you chose to have effects in it, like some sort of psychedelic fucking weird things where things morph and change, it all could be done with AI now.
tom segura
That's incredible.
joe rogan
Easily.
tom segura
Well, there's articles out about some studio.
Maybe it's here in...
In Texas?
I got the...
Somebody sent me the link to this.
That this company wants to...
Yeah, they want to start making studio quality movies for 500k AI movies.
joe rogan
I bet they can make it for cheaper than that.
tom segura
But that's...
joe rogan
Yeah.
tom segura
These are...
I mean, that's...
joe rogan
They'll probably have AI write the script, man.
I mean, if you're thinking about some dumbass fucking cop movie, you know, some silly...
Bank heist movie.
You got a hero who's going to go in and fucking kill the bad guys.
tom segura
Fraction of the cost.
joe rogan
You could write that easy with just take all AI has to do.
It's a large language model, right?
It all has to search through Steve McQueen movies and Tom Hardy movies.
tom segura
Write me a movie.
joe rogan
Guy Ritchie movies.
Put it together.
Make me a movie.
tom segura
No, it bums me out, though.
I don't want to watch that movie.
joe rogan
It should.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
What is this?
jamie vernon
This is the company.
This is the first piece they made, and it shows a little bit about how they made it here.
joe rogan
The woman with red hair.
tom segura
Yeah.
jamie vernon
They still are doing it.
joe rogan
Oh, so they have actors.
tom segura
They have real actors.
jamie vernon
But then they're replaced.
joe rogan
God damn.
Like, look, it looks so good.
It looks so good.
Like, that's not a real person.
Isn't that crazy?
It's the uncanny valley.
It looks a little weird.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
But getting better all the time, and the only reason why it looks weird is because it's so well lit.
Like, if you wanted to do it, like, Sin City style, there's no...
Like, Sin City, if Robert Rodriguez wanted to do Sin City today, the whole thing could be AI.
tom segura
Yeah, yeah.
joe rogan
No one would know.
tom segura
No.
joe rogan
That's crazy.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
These are all fake people.
And, dude, just a few years ago, you couldn't do hair.
Hair was weird.
tom segura
Right.
joe rogan
You know?
tom segura
And so were, like, extremities, right?
joe rogan
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Now, I mean, just in a short amount of time, it's incredible.
tom segura
That's so interesting.
Why are fingers...
joe rogan
That's a good question.
Well, hair seems like it would take a lot of computing power, right?
tom segura
Strands, single strands moving.
jamie vernon
Her hair's not moving.
It's pretty static.
joe rogan
Yeah, but it's...
No, it isn't.
Go back.
jamie vernon
No, no, I'm saying...
joe rogan
But it is all moving.
jamie vernon
Not the way it would.
joe rogan
It would if...
Yeah, you're right.
You're right.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You're right.
Yeah.
It's moving almost like a little bit of a helmet.
Like, that would be a tell.
Like, it's a little bit of movement, but not enough.
unidentified
Right.
joe rogan
A little bit of bounce, but not...
Like, it's all spray-painted.
Like, as if their hair was, like, sprayed with a shit ton of hairspray.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
But it couldn't move at all.
unidentified
Right.
joe rogan
That would kind of make sense.
But it's not moving.
tom segura
So they all need that scene at the beginning of every of their movies?
unidentified
Like...
jamie vernon
Like, they always do it.
It's very tough to do, too.
joe rogan
What is tough?
jamie vernon
Getting a good font.
joe rogan
Oh.
jamie vernon
You can't read anything.
In a movie, you wouldn't need it, but...
unidentified
Interesting.
jamie vernon
When you're looking for AI stuff.
joe rogan
Right.
Interesting.
Yeah, look at that.
Look at that font.
It looks like ancient Sumerian text or something.
unidentified
That's interesting.
joe rogan
Like some lost language.
unidentified
Yeah.
tom segura
Like that one and the fingers and toes thing is like, I just wonder what the explanation is for that.
Because that's a tell in photographs too, right?
joe rogan
Yeah.
tom segura
When you see a photo, you could be like, oh, look, that's got like six fingers.
joe rogan
Well, remember that lady, the English lady that was missing?
Was it Kate?
She was missing forever.
She supposedly was sick.
Kate Middleton.
She was sick, and then there was a photo that was released of her.
Look, she's fine.
Everybody's like, no, this is fucking AI.
In the photo, people had six fingers and shit.
Weird stuff.
tom segura
That's weird shit.
joe rogan
In the photo, there was weird, clearly edited.
Yeah.
tom segura
It's going to get way spookier.
joe rogan
Way.
tom segura
Way spookier.
joe rogan
We're just touching it right now.
tom segura
It's just started.
joe rogan
This is the infancy.
Scratching the surface.
Yeah.
It's going to be real weird.
Actors should really save their money.
You're going to be useless in a short amount of time.
tom segura
I agree.
And also, if you have any type of recognition to you now, you've got to get your image.
You know what I mean?
Oh, yeah.
joe rogan
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But also, how are you going to stop China from just making Mel Gibson movies?
tom segura
No, you're definitely not.
joe rogan
You're not going to.
tom segura
They're just going to be like, I don't care.
joe rogan
Yeah, fuck you.
tom segura
Fuck you.
joe rogan
We're going to make a Mel Gibson when he's 35 movie.
Fuck off.
tom segura
It's going to play it here.
We don't care.
joe rogan
Fuck off.
We're going to put it online.
What are you going to do?
It's so, so crazy.
Run through 30 different shell companies.
You're never going to find who made it.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
Yeah.
tom segura
Totally.
joe rogan
And it's going to get to a point where it's going to be virtual.
So it's like it's going to be inside people's heads.
You're going to be able to exist inside the movie.
Things are going to get so strange and they're going to be so immersive so quickly.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
The Matrix is a decade away.
The real matrix.
tom segura
The real question is...
joe rogan
Where you're in the Amazon and you are barefoot and you feel the ground under your feet.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
And you hear the monkeys and the birds and the bugs and the trees.
And you hear the sound of a panther nearby.
Like, that's going to be real.
tom segura
It's going to be real and you're going to be like, why do I even want to...
joe rogan
Go back to real life.
tom segura
Partake in the real world.
joe rogan
Like, what's that guy's name?
Joey Pants from fucking The Matrix when he's eating a steak.
He's like, I want to be important.
I want to be an important person.
Like, yeah, that's what people want to do.
They'd rather be an important person in The Matrix.
tom segura
That's so true, man.
joe rogan
And we might be in that right now.
That's the real mind fuck.
The real mind fuck is if they can eventually create an artificial reality that's indiscernible, how do you know whether or not you're already in it?
And you don't.
tom segura
Well, you wouldn't, yeah.
joe rogan
But there's a lot of evidence that we are.
tom segura
That we're in it now?
joe rogan
Yeah.
Yeah, there's a lot of evidence that reality as we know it is not real.
That it's too weird.
Quantum entanglement, quantum particles being in superposition, the fact that at a subatomic level everything is kind of magic, like nothing makes any sense.
Also that...
When you observe things, it changes the behavior of subatomic particles.
Like, what's that all about?
What does that mean?
Like, no one really knows.
tom segura
So I'm experiencing this in an altered reality.
joe rogan
I think consciousness might be responsible for reality.
Instead of consciousness is experiencing reality.
I think it might be both things.
I think it might be consciousness is experiencing reality as well as consciousness is responsible for reality.
tom segura
How much of a mindfuck would it be if somebody unplugged you right now?
You're like, this whole thing you've been doing.
joe rogan
Pretty mindfucky.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
I mean, if anybody should believe in it, it's me.
How is it possible that my life was like this?
tom segura
Yeah.
Right.
joe rogan
It doesn't make any sense.
I'm just, like, killing it in a video game.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
It doesn't make any sense.
tom segura
It doesn't make sense.
joe rogan
No, but it doesn't make sense.
This is why, like, for a fighter, like, the loss must be so fucking unbelievably devastating.
Yeah.
tom segura
It's like the equivalent, right?
joe rogan
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
unidentified
It's over.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
You know, like, and you see champions that keep coming back and keep getting knocked out, and you're like, no.
tom segura
Don't do it again.
unidentified
Fuck!
joe rogan
You know?
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Just like they can't believe it's over.
unidentified
You don't want to see it again.
joe rogan
They can't believe it's over.
But I was the winner of the game.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
I won the game.
I was winning the game.
unidentified
Nope.
Not now.
joe rogan
Not anymore.
Now reality has shifted.
And now, on top of it, you've got brain damage.
tom segura
Oh, fuck.
unidentified
Boy.
tom segura
That's worse than the version we get.
joe rogan
Oh, it's the worst.
tom segura
Yeah, that's the worst.
joe rogan
Brain damage is the worst.
Because now the way you interface with reality might be damaged.
Sort of like a car with a bad suspension on the highway with the wheels shaking now.
Like the way you interface with the universe itself.
tom segura
Changes completely.
joe rogan
Yeah.
So you're taking a gamble.
The highest amount of glory possible.
It's like winning fights in front of the whole world.
I mean, I would only imagine that, like, becoming a UFC champion and they, you know, put that belt on your waist and the whole crowd's like, yeah!
And people at home are like, fuck yeah!
Fuck and he did it!
tom segura
Holy shit!
joe rogan
Holy, you text your friends, what a fight!
Holy shit!
The love that person gets, the accomplishment that person gets.
But, the price.
You're risking the way you interface with reality itself.
The brain.
You're risking the brain.
And you might get out of it like George St. Pierre.
You know?
George St. Pierre, fine.
Handsome.
Wealthy.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
Perfect, like, intellectually.
tom segura
And people are like, you're the man still.
joe rogan
Bro, still the man.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Like, you know, whenever I talk to him, it's like, Joe Rogan, how's things?
Everything is great, buddy.
He's all happy.
You're like, boy, you fucking really pulled it off.
tom segura
You pulled it off.
joe rogan
You really pulled it off.
You became a two-division world champion, one of the greatest fighters of all time, and you're fine.
Chalk me in that one, them bad boys.
unidentified
Yeah, man.
joe rogan
I forgot about them rogues.
I like those.
tom segura
Yeah.
Thank you.
joe rogan
But for most, it's going to end badly.
tom segura
Yeah, and the crazier part to me is how many of those guys you go, hey, if you could go back, you know, would you just change things?
And they're like, no.
Some of them go, I love the glory so much.
You see it in fighting, you see it in the NFL, but some of them are like, no, I'll accept.
joe rogan
The identity.
The identity is so huge.
The identity, to be a special person.
You don't get to be a special person.
Most people don't get to be a special person and a special fighter.
Is a different kind of special person.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
It's like, that's a guy who took the craziest of risks.
Like, we all know, and you know better than anybody, how vulnerable the human body is.
unidentified
Oh, my God.
joe rogan
Because of your surgery and your injury.
tom segura
That sucks.
joe rogan
Fucking horrible.
So, like, imagine if you had a fight, and now, like, you were a big-time fighter, and you hurt yourself playing basketball with Burt Kreischer.
tom segura
Oh, my God.
joe rogan
And then you've got to build yourself back up to fight again, but you kind of know that your left arm is kind of still fucked a little bit.
tom segura
Yeah.
No, you never, like, no matter how far you get, From it, you still have the voice in there.
joe rogan
Oh, yeah.
tom segura
More so now, right?
unidentified
Oh, yeah.
tom segura
Because you're like, I never had that voice before.
joe rogan
Oh, yeah.
tom segura
Of like, watch out.
joe rogan
Yeah.
tom segura
Be careful.
joe rogan
Yeah.
tom segura
Don't do that.
joe rogan
And I, you know, I've had three knee surgeries, and I'm having a problem with this left knee that I really hurt.
The last time I hurt it pretty bad was skiing.
And the last time I skied, because I cracked the bone that's at the top of the tibia.
And then I probably messed up the cartilage and shit in there, too.
But it's still better than most people's knees.
It's better than a regular knee.
People are like, how bad is your knee?
It's not fucked up compared to your knees, like a regular person's knees.
I need my knee to be able to kick 60 miles an hour and do a bag of sand.
I'm requiring different things for my knees than most people.
But I know it's not the same.
And if you're a fighter and you know you've got a bum knee, nobody can tell while you're moving around.
But you know.
And you know your hand breaks easier now.
And you know your neck hurts.
And you know you've got a pinched nerve.
And you know your lower back gives out sometimes.
And you know.
You know your kidneys kind of hurt because you cut weight for too many years.
tom segura
Sounds like you know you shouldn't be fighting.
joe rogan
And you know your memory's not so good anymore.
And also you know you can't take a punch anymore.
Like a lot of guys know that they used to be able to take a great punch, but now you can't get hit.
So now you're gun shy.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
Did you see Devin Haney's fight last weekend?
tom segura
No.
joe rogan
He fought like, you know, Ryan Garcia fucked him up in the last fight, dropped him a bunch of times, and this fight, like, it looks like he's done.
Like, he's moving around, just like, it was just constantly moving.
Who did he fight?
I forget the gentleman's name, but there were rounds where neither one of them landed a punch.
tom segura
The whole round?
joe rogan
The whole round.
tom segura
And Garcia, that's the one where he was...
He won the fight, but then there was all this bullshit.
joe rogan
He tested positive for some sort of performance-enhancing metabolite at a very low level, by the way.
Like, not a level where it would be performance-enhancing.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
So I don't know what happened.
He says he didn't take anything.
tom segura
What ended up happening with the decision or the purse or whatever?
joe rogan
He became a no contest.
tom segura
Oh, it became a no contest.
joe rogan
Yeah, and I think he's also getting sued because, you know, Devin Haney claimed that he won because he was on steroids and that's a bad look.
But you could tell that, like, mine fucked Devin Haney.
And a lot of people, like, totally are writing off Devin Haney now.
Which is crazy.
Because I remember when he beat Kambosis, I was like, damn, Devin Haney's slick.
He's so good.
And now, like, that guy is just, he was just moving constantly.
And still a very skilled boxer.
But it just shows you, like, one devastating loss for an undefeated fighter can fuck you up.
And some guys, they come back and they're fine.
You know, like Garcia, for instance.
Like, Gervonta Davis fucked him up.
He came back and he was fine.
But then that weekend, he fought Roley Romero, and Romero dropped him, and he lost the decision.
So they were going to set up a big rematch.
Now nobody wants to see the rematch because they both lost.
tom segura
They both lost.
joe rogan
Well, actually, Devin didn't lose.
He won a decision, but he lost public credibility because it was a very boring fight.
Still an incredibly skillful boxer, a world champion boxer.
Very good boxer.
But even the commentary, like Antonio Tarver, was like, I don't like the way he's moving.
His footwork seems erratic.
Everything is like he needs to settle down.
Jose Ramirez.
tom segura
Yeah.
So Haney won this fight.
joe rogan
Yeah.
He won a decision.
tom segura
Okay.
joe rogan
But it was the fans lost.
And this was this big event in Times Square.
This is also a big event because...
Turkey Alashik, the guy from Saudi Arabia, his excellency is the guy who's dumping incredible amounts of money into boxing so that he can get these guys to fight each other.
So he's like, what do you need for the fight?
How much to make this fight happen?
Like, I need 10 million dollars.
Like, done.
And they're like, what?
Like, fuck, I should ask for 20. It's that kind of a situation because the Saudis have so much money.
So Oscar De La Hoya was talking about this, and he was saying, these guys are spoiled.
And they're afraid to risk anything.
tom segura
Right.
joe rogan
Because the money's so much.
Which is so interesting.
Like, you need a guy who's willing to risk it all to really fucking go for it.
And these guys aren't willing to do that.
And I think the Devin Haney thing, it's one of those things where you see a guy who is an unbelievably skilled fighter but loses one fight and they're just not the same again.
tom segura
Not the same.
And Gervonta's still...
joe rogan
Gervonta's still killing it.
tom segura
Killing it.
joe rogan
But he had that fight with Lamont Roach where it was a draw.
And there was a legit draw, and you could even make the argument that Roach won that fight, and they're gonna fight again.
That should be very interesting.
But I think it's also, for boxers, there's a situation where you can only keep up the RPMs for so long.
All the greats, there's a certain amount of times that you can keep training, a certain amount of times you can keep competing.
And like we were talking about your arm, you know it's kind of fucked up.
That happens with them too.
The ankles are bad, something's bad.
tom segura
I can't do the same level of output.
joe rogan
It's not the same.
They're not who they used to be.
They might look the same, but they can't do what they could do five years ago, six years ago.
Yeah.
It's hard.
It's a hard sport, man.
But it's also because the glory is so high if you're successful.
tom segura
So great.
joe rogan
People are willing to do it.
Yeah.
tom segura
Very crazy, though.
joe rogan
Yeah.
tom segura
Thank God that's not how we make a living.
joe rogan
Thank God.
Dude, if the UFC was around when I was competing, I 100% would have done it.
And then imagine how dumb I would be now at 57 years old.
Oh, I'd be a mess.
tom segura
A lot of staring.
joe rogan
Oh, I'd be a lot of drooling.
So, hey, you look good.
You losing weight?
You losing weight?
What are you doing?
Dieting?
You know, my brain would be like a four-cylinder engine, like, all fucked up, misfiring.
tom segura
It's good you didn't get into that, dude.
joe rogan
It is, but I think I got the right amount of brain damage.
tom segura
Yeah, you've said that to me before.
joe rogan
I think so.
I think there's just a certain amount that you get that makes you just a little reckless, just a little crazy.
tom segura
Just a touch.
joe rogan
Yeah, just a touch.
I just got a touch of brain damage that allows me to be, I like taking, I enjoy risks.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
Like, I like them.
They're fun.
tom segura
Me too.
joe rogan
Did you fall on your head?
tom segura
Yeah, I had a couple devastating...
Yeah.
unidentified
I bet it helped.
tom segura
A couple bad ones.
joe rogan
I bet it helped.
tom segura
Like, I think I have some frontal lobe damage.
And, yeah.
joe rogan
I think it has something to do with it.
tom segura
I do.
I like calculated risks.
joe rogan
Yes.
tom segura
I mean, I think if you take this career path, you enjoy risk.
joe rogan
Clearly.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
Yeah.
But also, you don't have any choices.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
Like, my thought was when I was first started, I was like, I can't work.
I can't do it.
But I know I can do things.
But I can't show up and do a job all day for the rest of my life.
I don't have that in me.
I'm allergic to it.
I didn't like...
I was a latchkey kid.
So, like, I didn't get a lot of, like, you gotta do this, you gotta do that.
So the problem is, like, I developed not having people tell me what to do.
So I can't listen.
tom segura
I think every...
Comic has that thing too where you're like, I can't have a boss.
joe rogan
Also, I was around enough bosses that were just total cunts and douchebags that I just like, in my mind, the boss is an asshole.
Always.
Every time.
He's an unappreciative fucking idiot who you gotta listen to him because he's responsible for your paycheck and he knows it so he gets to act like a douchebag and you can't go, hey man, fuck you.
Who are you talking to?
Why do you talk to people like that, you fucking idiot?
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
You can't, because he's the boss.
tom segura
He's the boss, yeah.
No, it sets you up for like, I'll figure out a way.
I think if I hadn't done this, I would have, I definitely think I would have started my own business of some kind.
You know what I mean?
I'd have been an entrepreneur of some kind.
joe rogan
Yeah, you would have had to.
But that's, you know, how many people don't, or they get roped in, and then they have a bunch of responsibilities, like family.
tom segura
No, it's a fucking, yeah.
I mean, now we're at the age, too, where you can look back on 25 years of People you know.
joe rogan
Oh, my God.
tom segura
Who are, like, miserable.
joe rogan
Oh, my God.
People that are in hell.
tom segura
Yeah, in hell.
joe rogan
In hell.
tom segura
Meanwhile, we're fucking...
joe rogan
Killing it.
tom segura
Yeah, but you're doing fun things.
unidentified
You know what's really crazy?
joe rogan
Is when people get out of stand-up, and then they see everybody doing real well, and they want to jump back in.
And it's been like...
I've gotten some messages from some friends that I know they haven't been on stand-up in a decade.
And I'm like...
tom segura
You can't just jump back in.
joe rogan
Well, if you do, you've got to start from the beginning.
Start doing open mic nights again.
You've been in the writer's room just writing for a sitcom for fucking eight years.
tom segura
You lose your footing so much in that time.
Sometimes I've had a week off, two weeks off, even a month or something off.
Where you're like, oh, you have sea lakes.
You're just like, whoa.
I can't imagine 10 years.
joe rogan
Dude, it happened to a lot of writers when they got in the strike.
When the strike was going on, how long did that strike go on for?
tom segura
God, it was months.
joe rogan
Long ass time.
And these guys have mortgages, and the kids are in private school, and their wife likes to spend money.
unidentified
Yeah.
Fuck!
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
And they're used to making, you know, half a million a year.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
You know, doing real good.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
And then all of a sudden it all dries up and like, oh, fuck.
And then their savings account and the wife's like, what are you going to do?
Like, fuck.
I think I'm going to start doing stand-up again.
Like, and they start trying to put together an act and they want to show up and then the club doesn't know who they are anymore.
tom segura
Oh, God.
joe rogan
Oh.
tom segura
Give me anxiety.
Yeah.
unidentified
Oh.
tom segura
Scary.
It's a scary feeling.
unidentified
It's the worst.
joe rogan
But it's like...
The decisions that you make in life, like, what are you going to do?
Like, what are you going to do with your life?
Those are personal decisions.
Which is why this whole free will versus determinism thing drives me crazy.
Because these people that want to believe there is no such thing as free will, like, yeah, you can do that cute little thing, but you know that free will's real because you know that you decide to get up in the morning.
Like, you're telling me Jelly Roll?
Didn't have free will to lose that 200 pounds?
tom segura
No shit.
Yeah.
joe rogan
Perfect example.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
Like, that's hard to do.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
You're 400 plus pounds, you're fat as fuck, you're drinking and partying every night, and then one day you put your foot down and go, that's it.
tom segura
Not doing this shit, yeah.
joe rogan
That's enough.
I'm gonna get healthy.
That's free will.
You're telling me, determinism forced him into a position at 39 years old where he's all of a sudden going to decide to lose all this weight and it has nothing to do with his free will?
That's silly.
Will's a real thing.
tom segura
Of course.
And we all have it.
And you can just deny it.
But it's why, I don't know, anything that you accomplish that's work is through.
It's through making choices, man.
joe rogan
But then there is also a certain amount of determinism.
If you grow up in a terribly abusive household and you're around drug addicts and violence and then you go and commit that, it's almost like you have no other examples.
tom segura
It's true.
I get that.
But you still make a choice.
joe rogan
You do, but you don't even know what a good choice is because you've never even seen a good choice.
tom segura
Analysis that, like, you had horrible modeling.
So you're just following a path you think is the only path, right?
joe rogan
And some of those guys get involved in athletics, right?
Some of those guys get lucky and they become a fighter.
Or maybe they get lucky and they become a musician.
Or maybe they get lucky and they become something else.
Or a comic.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
Yeah, but it's just the choices that you make in this life are, you don't know if it's the right choice while you're doing it, while you're making that choice.
tom segura
Well, I'm about to find out whether making this TV show was the right choice.
unidentified
Oh, no, that's the right choice.
tom segura
No.
I'll find out.
joe rogan
Do you have to piss?
It seems like you're wiggling.
tom segura
I gotta piss.
unidentified
I knew it.
I knew it.
joe rogan
Should we wrap it up?
unidentified
Sure.
joe rogan
Listen, what you showed me is amazing.
tom segura
Thanks, man.
joe rogan
I'm sure it's gonna be fucking bad thoughts.
When is it out?
tom segura
It's Tuesday, so tomorrow.
joe rogan
Tomorrow.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Fuck yeah.
The stuff that I saw is amazing.
It's fucking hilarious.
tom segura
Thanks a lot, bro.
joe rogan
I'm glad you're doing stuff, man.
I'm just glad you're out there.
It's fucking beautiful to see.
tom segura
I'm very excited for it, I'll tell you.
I know it's an overused term, but it really was a dream come true to do it.
joe rogan
Well, you can tell.
You can tell by how well it came out.
It's so ridiculous.
It's so you.
It's such a signature Tom Segura type of humor.
tom segura
Thanks, man.
joe rogan
It's awesome.
tom segura
I'm excited for it.
Thanks for having me on, man.
joe rogan
My pleasure, my brother.
Anytime.
unidentified
Always good to see you.
joe rogan
Love you to death.
Bye, everybody.
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