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April 23, 2025 - The Joe Rogan Experience
02:49:49
Joe Rogan Experience #2309 - Joey Diaz
Participants
Main voices
j
joe rogan
01:44:33
j
joey diaz
52:10
Appearances
j
jamie vernon
01:26
Clips
b
brigham buhler
00:05
| Copy link to current segment

Speaker Time Text
joe rogan
Let's fucking go.
joey diaz
Let's go.
joe rogan
Joey Diaz, ladies and gentlemen.
joey diaz
What's up, beautiful?
joe rogan
It's good to see you, my brother.
joey diaz
Good to see you.
That was great.
The club was fucking in rare form last night.
joe rogan
Oh, last night was packed.
It's been packed all week.
It's been really fun.
A lot of fun shows, you know.
Shane was there last night or the night before last.
You know, you're there tonight.
It's been amazing.
Holtzman is on fire.
joey diaz
He's crazy.
joe rogan
Holtzman's on fire.
Last night he was on fire.
Me and Adam Egott were howling.
We were watching him from the balcony and howling.
It's such a good community, Joey.
It's so nice out here.
joey diaz
You know, I bumped into Duncan for breakfast.
joe rogan
He's the best.
joey diaz
Like, we just looked at each other.
He's like, what are you doing here?
And we sat down.
joe rogan
Me and Duncan are going to corner you and try to get you to move here.
joey diaz
Nah, we're going to figure it out.
joe rogan
Yeah, you belong here.
joey diaz
Every time I come down here, I see something else that...
Like, I had a great time last night.
joe rogan
Joe DeRose is here now, too.
joey diaz
That's what I heard.
joe rogan
Yeah, he just moved here.
joey diaz
Is he going to bring the sandwich shop down here?
joe rogan
Yes, he is.
We're going to open up a sandwich shop out here.
He is, brother.
joey diaz
That's a good fucking idea.
joe rogan
I say we because I'm going to be eating here.
joey diaz
Yeah, he makes good sandwiches.
joe rogan
He makes a very good sandwich.
Very good sandwich.
Yeah. He brought a bunch of them.
Was it Moon Tower last year that he brought them?
It might have been.
It was Moon Tower or South by Southwest.
One of the two last year.
He brought like a ton of sandwiches.
He had a pop-up.
So his restaurant did a pop-up somewhere in Austin.
I was like, bro, you got to open this up here.
You'd be killing it.
Especially if it's you.
And people know it's your business.
joey diaz
Because I've heard somebody else was telling me about the sandwiches.
joe rogan
Very legit.
joey diaz
I gotta go up there.
joe rogan
Very legit.
joey diaz
I just don't even know where it is.
I don't know if it's in Brooklyn.
joe rogan
Bro, I want to kidnap my man Giovanni in White Plains.
Bring him out here.
He can't survive outside of Italian neighborhoods, though.
That guy's the most Italian guy that's ever lived.
joey diaz
And, you know, they get their stuff up there.
joe rogan
Yeah, they get everything.
And it's all coming in right from Italy.
You know, because a lot of it's imported.
They use a lot of imported stuff.
Imported mortadella.
Imported... The peppers, all that stuff that they have.
You know, sun-dried peppers, sun-dried tomatoes.
They import all that shit.
They gotta get that shit.
Because if it goes there, then it's gotta ship from the boat all the way to Texas.
It's a little bit of a pain in the ass.
joey diaz
Remember fucking Greasy Tony?
He used to drive once a month to New Jersey and get co-cuts and fucking chicken cutlets.
Poor Greasy Tony.
joe rogan
We used to visit him every time we went to Tempe.
He was our guy.
joey diaz
Remember you said not to drink his Mountain Dew because he made it himself.
He was up for two days.
He used to make it.
That was the strongest Mountain fucking Dew you could ever taste in your life.
You were up for a day.
joe rogan
Greasy Tony was such a character.
He was such a character.
He became our friend.
joey diaz
Yeah, he was a good dude.
joe rogan
When we first started going there, we were visiting him for like 10 fucking years.
Every time we would do shows in town, we'd go visit Greasy Tony.
joey diaz
He had a $20 chicken cutlet sandwich.
Phenomenal. 15 years ago.
Which weighed.
Like, I was 400 pounds, and I would bring it home and try to finish it.
joe rogan
Do you remember that steak sub that he would make?
What did he call it?
Trash can?
joey diaz
Yes, that's right.
The trash can.
joe rogan
The trash can.
It was crazy.
Peppers and onions and cheese and fucking everything was in that thing.
It was crazy.
joey diaz
It was that thick.
When I drove in yesterday...
I'm like, this is how things change.
I mean, we've been coming here since 95. I know I have, right?
joe rogan
Yeah, I think 99 was my first time here.
joey diaz
I would do Houston and drive down here and do the lobby in the fucking Cap City when they had to stand up in the lobby.
I still remember that, driving from fucking Houston down here, not having any money, having to drive back because we couldn't get a hotel room, drive back to Houston at the end of the night.
And I was looking at this yesterday.
When I landed, it was 4 o'clock traffic.
And I'm like, my God, this is how...
We're watching how past civilizations just changed.
Yes. Something happened here and everybody moved here.
Yep. And I'm not talking about four or five people.
Everybody. Yeah.
And that's how civilizations change.
We just witnessed it after the pandemic.
It's been fucking surreal.
joe rogan
Yeah. It has been surreal.
Surreal. To see things change.
Yeah. You know what?
It's also...
There's places that sort of rest on their laurels too much.
And whenever that happens, it's easy for another place to rise up that offers something more interesting.
So, like, Los Angeles was always Los Angeles.
And, like, when Gavin Newsom talks about California, he's like, you know, I'm very big on California, very bullish on California.
California has all this industry.
Hey, fucko.
They're all thinking about moving.
The only reason why they don't move is because it's too difficult to move.
If it was like every business could instantly pull up roots and replace everything and have everything running in a week at the other place, they'd all be gone.
They'd all be gone.
It's too expensive.
It's too expensive to leave versus what you would save and the regulations that you wouldn't have to go through and all the bullshit with all the permits.
What California does is over-regulate.
Everything. They get as much government involved as possible.
They suck as much tax money out of you as possible.
And then they still leave the place a mess.
They still have homeless people everywhere.
It's still a fucking disaster.
It's still a woke shit show of virtue signaling at every level of the government.
Still. Like, no course correction at all.
unidentified
They're going further and further into la-la land.
joe rogan
And you're like, Jesus Christ, you guys.
And so then a place like Austin becomes attractive, you know, because, like, it's not like that here.
And people are very reasonable.
And Austin, the best thing about Austin is it's a blue city in a red state.
So it's, like, balanced.
Like, this is a saying they have out here, keep Austin weird and surrounded.
So, Austin is surrounded by rednecks with guns.
And, like, it keeps the tone more medium.
Like, the Austin liberals, they're much more just left-of-center people, like we are.
You know what I mean?
Like, in some parts of the country, we're considered, like, far-right.
You and I. Far-right.
It's crazy.
It's fucking ridiculous.
But it's because everybody went nuts and everyone demanded a whole series of things that you have to agree to in order to be a good person.
Fuck off.
joey diaz
You know what the real problem is out there?
Let me tell you what the real problem is.
I didn't realize it until I fucking left.
What? That everybody's too busy tapping themselves on the back.
joe rogan
There's a lot of that.
joey diaz
When the fires happen, those three women or whatever the fuck, the chief and whatever, I'm looking at them and I'm like, look at them.
They all got gel in their hair.
They all got a tattoo on their neck.
God forbid.
God forbid they can't be cool for just one fucking minute.
God forbid.
And that's the problem you have out there.
It's too many people.
I'm so great.
This is my idea, and it's great, and it's going to work.
It's not working.
joe rogan
You're right.
joey diaz
But you're too stupid to say, you know what?
This ain't working.
Their egos are so big, they don't have the heart to go, this ain't working.
joe rogan
You're right.
You're absolutely right.
I don't think it's entirely their fault.
It is their fault, but the culture rewards that kind of behavior.
This is the problem with having protected classes of people, whether it's gay, lesbian, whatever it is, whether it's your nationality.
If you have a protected class of people where you're not allowed to criticize the protected class of people, then they become, you know, Vivek Ramaswamy talked about this in a very interesting way.
He was like, It's the tyranny of the underprivileged.
Is that what he called it?
The tyranny of the marginalized or something along those lines.
But the idea is that this group of people, whether they're trans people or gay people, they get, oh, above everything.
Everything you do is amazing.
Oh, my God, you're so fabulous.
Because no one wants to be thought of as homophobic or transphobic.
So you pretend that everything they do is incredible.
And so you're going to be the best firefighter ever.
You carry a burning man out of a building?
Girl, you don't have to.
If he was in that building, he shouldn't have been in that building in the first place.
If I have to carry him out, we got other problems.
A literal firefighter said that in response to, could she carry her husband out of the building?
Like, no, you can't.
And so you shouldn't be a firefighter.
Just like you shouldn't be a bouncer if you can't fight.
You shouldn't be a firefighter.
You shouldn't be a firefighter if you can't carry someone out of a building.
If you can't run up a flight of stairs because you're 260 pounds and 5'7 and a woman.
No. No, you shouldn't be a firefighter.
You should have to be in, like, really good shape to be a...
No, if you're some fucking CrossFit's game lady who's some beast, I'm like, yeah, that lady could be a firefighter.
Yeah. But it's, like, even guys.
Like, if you're a guy and you're fucking scrawny and you never work out and all you do is smoke cigarettes, maybe you shouldn't be a firefighter.
You know, maybe you can...
Maybe you can't get up that fucking flight of stairs either.
It's a physical job where you're rescuing people.
You have to be able to physically carry people.
You have to rescue them.
Firefighters, when I was a kid, were the fucking big, brutal men.
joey diaz
Beast. Kicking down doors.
joe rogan
Big fucking houses.
They looked like former football players.
There was this guy I used to play pool with, Ray the Fireman.
Because everybody in the pool hall, I was Joe the Comedian.
Everybody had a nickname based on what you did.
Ray the Fireman was a fucking house.
He's just a big fucking, like, big Irish guy.
You know, like, of course he's a fireman.
Look at him.
That guy's gonna kick down a door, carry your fucking husband, throw him over his shoulder, run through the flames, throw him on the lawn.
He does it all the time.
He's an animal.
joey diaz
Like Vito's lover in The Sopranos.
Remember he was a fireman?
Remember he was a fireman, the gay dude?
joe rogan
I forgot about that scene.
joey diaz
Then he killed himself in real life.
joe rogan
Oh, did he really?
After that show?
Because they thought he was gay?
joey diaz
I don't know.
I read something.
joe rogan
I hope it wasn't that.
I hope they didn't taunt him for being gay.
Can you imagine?
You get your shot.
unidentified
Hey, Joey, I got good news and bad news.
joe rogan
Good news is you're going to be on The Sopranos.
Bad news is you got to fuck a guy.
joey diaz
And you got to swap spit with him.
joe rogan
Yeah, swap spit on camera.
joey diaz
On camera.
joe rogan
Yeah. But you're on The Sopranos.
What are you going to do?
Depends on what you want to do.
If you're a regular guy and that's your first acting gig, I suggest you pass.
I suggest you pass.
You have to be like a Jared Leto type dude to pull that off.
Died of a self-inflicted gunshot wound December 16, 2008 at the age of 47. And he was a firefighter.
joey diaz
A former firefighter.
joe rogan
Who knows?
I mean, when did he die?
How long after the show?
Go pull it back up again.
Because it just said.
So he died in 2008.
So the show was running in 2008.
joey diaz
Right? Yep.
joe rogan
Was Soprano still on in 2008?
No. No, it was off by then?
joey diaz
I think.
No, 2009 maybe?
I don't know.
joe rogan
Let's find that out and then we'll have an answer.
But I would imagine if you're a guy, an Italian guy or whatever, and you go back to the neighborhood.
And you've been playing?
jamie vernon
It ended June 10th, 2007.
So right after it ended, I guess.
joe rogan
Right after it ended, he waxed himself.
That's so unfortunate.
There's another beautiful thing about the comedy community.
Like, nobody gives a fuck if you're gay.
Like, Tim Dillon.
Tim Dillon, he's just one of us.
It's just, we're all, like, the lesbians that come there and hang out, they're just one of us.
No one.
Gives a flying fuck.
It's just, if you're not funny, nobody wants to hang out with you.
If you're not funny, like, get out of the green room.
You know what I mean?
But if you're funny, who cares?
No one cares.
joey diaz
Do you remember the kid from Houston?
joe rogan
Which one?
joey diaz
The guy that used to always wear football shirts?
joe rogan
Yes! Where?
unidentified
Did he die?
joey diaz
He passed away.
That was my brother.
joe rogan
What was his name?
God damn it.
I loved him.
joey diaz
I loved him.
joe rogan
It's fucking escaping my mind.
joey diaz
With the little hat on.
joe rogan
You're gonna remember his name.
joey diaz
And he come up to you and give you a hug all the time.
joe rogan
I haven't seen him in so long.
When did he die?
joey diaz
I don't know, maybe ten years ago?
joe rogan
Did he talk about being gay on stage?
joey diaz
No, but he told me he was gay.
joe rogan
Oh, yeah.
Well, he was gay as fuck.
joey diaz
He would go to those army things just to fuck men.
joe rogan
Well, he just looked like a football player.
Yes. Like a big former...
He looked like a Shane Gillis type dude.
Yeah. Like a big former football player, but he was gay.
joey diaz
But he was gay.
joe rogan
He always wore football jerseys.
joey diaz
Always football jerseys.
That's how we trick him.
joe rogan
Sweetheart of a guy.
But again, same situation, Joey.
That guy was one of us.
He just hung out with us.
joey diaz
No, I loved him to do that.
joe rogan
He just hung out with us.
joey diaz
I love that dude to death.
It didn't even matter to me that he was...
Listen, that's never mattered to me.
You gotta remember, I was a Judas Priest fan in high school.
That dude's just gay as hell.
First time I saw him...
unidentified
Nobody knew.
joe rogan
Isn't that funny?
joey diaz
I fucking knew in 79. Nobody comes out with a little hat with a whip.
Right. You know, I saw him at the Palladium.
joe rogan
You got another thing coming.
joey diaz
Oh my God.
Did you ever read...
You just have to try to read his book.
Really? Jimmy Florentine gave it to me.
You have to try to read it.
joe rogan
Is it crazy?
joey diaz
I'll just tell you one story.
There was a guy in Chicago, like a stylist.
They used to tell him he wanted dick.
You know those people, those women?
Come on, Joe.
Come on.
And you're like, come on.
It's never going to happen.
And he said, finally, he got pissed off one day.
And he took the guy up on his office.
He goes, I fucked him so hard, I blew out with his O-ring.
I had to go to the hospital.
I'm reading this going, this is my type of fucking guy.
I love this fucking guy.
joe rogan
Well, you've got to think what Rob Halford did.
When he was at the head of Judas Priest, he got all these straight guys to dress like they're in a gay biker gang because they wanted to be cool like Judas Priest.
He changed the style of a kind of music.
unidentified
He really did.
joey diaz
I loved him.
joe rogan
How many straight guys dressed like gay bikers not even knowing what they were doing?
They just thought, you know, this is how you dress for this kind of music.
But it was because of Rob Alford.
joey diaz
Fucking Rob.
And he's still out.
joe rogan
You know, I had him on a show once.
There he is, that bad motherfucker.
You got another thing coming.
I had a buddy of mine in high school who loved that song, and he used like a quote of it in his yearbook.
And I always remember thinking, wow, that's the coolest quote.
Like, if you think you're going to sit around and let you chip with me in my brain, listen, I ain't fooling you, you better think again.
Out there is a fortune waiting to be had.
You think I let it go, you're mad.
You got another thing coming.
joey diaz
Fucking great album, great shit.
joe rogan
That kid never did anything, though.
No. He never left the town.
joey diaz
No. He fell apart after high school.
And here's the weirdest thing about Judas Priest.
What? His writing.
That's what I fucking died about.
His writing.
Because he would write, and you're thinking he's writing about a woman.
joe rogan
He's writing about assholes.
joey diaz
He's writing about a man.
And he has a song called Burning Up that is so fucking over the top.
I know you feel the same.
I know you feel the flame burning deep inside of you.
Burning you up.
Breaking you down.
I'm breaking you out in a cold sweat.
But when you lose control of your very soul, your desire takes over.
You'll feel the heat wave.
You'll answer my way, and suddenly you know that you're burning up.
Ooh. That is a bad mouth.
When I heard that, I'm like, oh.
joe rogan
Let me hear that, Jamie.
We'll have to edit this out of YouTube.
For the folks at home, please seek it online.
Here we go.
joey diaz
Listen to the way it starts.
It's like a satellite.
joe rogan
This is back before satellites, like before we had modems.
joey diaz
Ooh. This is 1980.
This is on a Hell Bent for Leather tour.
joe rogan
You could let songs cook back then, you know?
Like Time, Pink Floyd Time.
Oh, baby.
Guess what just got added to the Spotify playlist?
unidentified
You ditch me up good and you got me down So I string you up to keep you hanging around You dish the hot stuff up but you keep me waiting So I play it dirty till your body is breaking
We've got to make love, the time is right We've got to make love tonight Cause we're burning up You make
me greedy, you won't feed me my food But I make it easy cause I see straight through you You cool me up and hot me up
joe rogan
There you go.
Hot gay love coming at you.
joey diaz
So when I read those lyrics, I'm like, that's the most brilliant fucking thing.
joe rogan
That's the darkest thing about gay people today is that some of them are in the closet, other than homophobia.
There's genuinely people that hate gays.
But that's rare.
joey diaz
Nobody hates gays.
joe rogan
No, there's people that hate gay people.
joey diaz
It's 2025.
I can't see you.
You know, it's all around us.
If you're still hating, you got a fucking problem.
joe rogan
There's guys that have been molested when they were young.
They get angry at gay people.
Not that it makes sense.
I'm not justifying it.
But I've met guys that had problems with gay people.
They were very scared around gay people.
But it was because they got molested by a pedophile.
joey diaz
Right. Pedophile and being gay is two different fucking things.
joe rogan
Big difference.
So I'm just saying there are people, and there's very religious people that don't like gay people.
Most normal people don't give a fuck.
Most normal people don't give a fuck.
And they shouldn't.
It's stupid.
It's a dumb thing to think about.
It's just like, if you're not having sex with me, what do I care?
Who cares?
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joey diaz
Now, the way I grew up, you know, the Cuban men's side of me was supposed to...
Right. The pre-revolution Cubans, they like...
joe rogan
Italians, too.
unidentified
Catholics, yeah.
joe rogan
They wouldn't go in the room.
joey diaz
If there's a gay man in the room.
I always thought that was...
The fuck?
I won't go in there.
Why? Because you're a machismo type of dude?
But my mother was the one that goes, no, they're fucking...
And then we had a gay guy in our neighborhood.
I told you about this guy.
He worked with my mother.
He was a designer on Broadway for some plays.
He would design the couch.
But at night he sold coke.
This is like 1975.
And he would come to the bar and I knew he was gay.
His name was Matin.
We called him Matin and Maricón because that's what that means in Spanish.
Maricón means fag in Spanish.
So that was his open name in the Cuban community.
But one day he came into my mother's bar and there was two bookies.
I was like a kid.
I was playing that shuffleboard.
Remember when you play the sawdust and you spray it?
I'm playing the shuffleboard.
And he was right there.
And the two bookies were in the corner.
And the one guy goes, look who it is, Matin and Maricón.
And this motherfucker pulled out at 32. Oh, Jesus.
And he goes, listen.
I'm going to tell the both of you that unless you suck my dick or I fuck you in the ass, you don't have the right to call me Martin the Fag.
So say it again, I'm going to shoot both of you.
And my mom is yelling at him, Martin, Martin, Coco's behind you.
If they start shooting at each other, I'm right here.
I lift my head up.
I'm like, oh, and Martin's like...
And all of a sudden, Martin left.
So the next day, I guess he called my mother to apologize.
And Martin, my mother made Martin come and apologize to me.
And when he opened the door, and he was like, I'm very sorry about pulling out the gun, I go...
Fuck that.
You're my new Charles Bronson.
I gave him a fucking hug, and he became my best friend after that.
And I respected him because he was going through hate.
joe rogan
Yeah, really hate.
joey diaz
In the mid-70s, he would come back once a week with a black eye or a busted lip.
He went to a bar in the village, and there'd be guys waiting for him on the way out.
And I always respected that dude.
Like, always respected him for that.
joe rogan
The problem with bullies and bigots and people that attack people like that is the same problem in all walks of society.
It's weak men.
It's almost always just weak men.
Weak, stupid men that want to find someone to pick on.
Want to find someone that's not bothering them at all and fuck with them because they're weak.
That's all it is.
Like, the woke people that scream at you.
And want you to do what they want.
The people that want to spray paint swastikas on Teslas.
It's the same thing.
It's weak men.
Mostly weak men.
A bunch of crazy women.
And they're all together in this big pile of suck that's connected to a political ideology.
But most people, you know, you shouldn't care.
And if you do care, you just weren't around.
I was around gay people when I was really young, fortunately.
I lived in San Francisco when I was seven years old.
And we were in the middle of gay land.
I mean, it was San Francisco in the 70s, dude.
It was gay as fuck.
During the Vietnam War in San Francisco.
I remember I'd be walking down the street with my stepdad once and a guy whistled at him.
I was like, oh shit.
I got uncomfortable.
Like, he didn't freak out.
He just shook his head like, what the fuck?
joey diaz
With a little kid!
joe rogan
He's walking with a seven-year-old!
And this guy whistled him down.
That guy didn't give a fuck about kids.
He's not making any.
He doesn't care.
So we had these next-door neighbors, this gay couple, and my aunt used to smoke weed with them, and they'd get naked and play bongos.
And she loved the fact that she could get naked with these guys because they didn't try to fuck her.
So they'd all just get naked together and smoke weed and play bongos.
It was hilarious.
They were really nice people.
So, like, my experience with gay people was just, like, they're everywhere.
It's normal.
So when I moved to Florida, I had a friend.
My friend was Cuban.
His name was Candy.
His last name was Candido.
We called him Candy.
And Candy was with his dad, and his dad throws the newspaper down on the fucking table.
God damn it.
And he's like, whoa, what's going on?
It's like, these fucking fags are trying to marry each other.
And I remember I was 11 years old, and I was like, why do you care?
Like, he was getting...
He threw the newspaper at the table because of gay marriage.
I'm like, why do you care?
I'm like, what a fool.
You're a grown-ass man, and you care about that?
Like, who cares if they get married?
Yeah, I know.
joey diaz
He was Cuban.
joe rogan
But he was mad, bro.
But fucking...
joey diaz
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
joe rogan
They want to try to get married?
Because, you know, they've been fucking with gays with marriage forever.
It's so wrong, man.
It's so wrong.
joey diaz
Listen, I see it, and it doesn't bother me at all.
joe rogan
It's just like everything else.
unidentified
It doesn't bother me at all.
joe rogan
There's a certain percentage of society that are just born gay, and there's plenty of them to hang out with each other, and they should be your friends.
Yes, Scott.
joey diaz
No, the football player.
joe rogan
Oh, yes.
joey diaz
Scott. That's his first name.
Now we've got to work on his last name.
joe rogan
God damn it.
unidentified
Scott. Yeah, I need to call somebody.
joe rogan
Otherwise, this is...
Do you got Matty Kirsch's number?
We should call Matty Kirsch.
He wouldn't know.
That's going to drive me nuts.
joey diaz
Somebody from Houston would know.
Because I don't want to call somebody online and have to describe him.
And then people go, oh, you described Scott.
joe rogan
Well, what I was thinking you were saying was Jeff Scott.
Jeff Scott from the Comedy Store is another example of a gay guy who was our brother.
Brother. He was our brother.
joey diaz
That guy.
joe rogan
That's it.
Scott Kennedy.
joey diaz
Scott Kennedy.
Look at him with his New Orleans shirt on.
joe rogan
Scott Kennedy was awesome.
Awesome. Sorry I forgot his name, but he's not around to be embarrassed.
How did he die?
joey diaz
I don't know.
Look at him with Craig Ferguson.
joe rogan
He always had football jerseys on.
I mean, that guy did not look gay.
He looked like a big old football player.
You could see him in the backyard smoking a whole hog with a bunch of boys drinking Bud Lights.
joey diaz
But here's the problem.
Here's what I felt from Scott.
Because I met him in Houston, and then we connected in L.A. in like 2000.
When he hugged me, I didn't feel threatened.
joe rogan
No, not at all.
joey diaz
When Jeff Scott hugged me?
joe rogan
Never. I never felt that.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
joey diaz
I have to.
Eric Rocha, when he hugs me, the kid at the Comedy Store, I hug him with all my fucking heart.
I don't even feel that type of shit.
I never felt that.
joe rogan
I've only felt that once ever from one comedian.
And it was at the Montreal Comedy Festival.
And he was drunk.
And he wouldn't stop.
He kept touching me, too.
Kept touching me and telling me he wanted me to take me upstairs.
Yeah. That was very unfortunate.
Because he was just drunk and...
I don't even think he thought I was gay, and I don't even think he thought I would do it.
I think he was just trying to make me uncomfortable, you know?
But he was definitely, like, last call for alcohol, like, hitting on people, and he was hammered.
But I was thinking, like, imagine being a girl, and this is happening, where you fear for your life.
Because I threatened him.
I said, dude, I'm going to stomp a fucking hole in your chest if you keep doing this.
Leave me alone.
And that was enough.
But if you're a girl, you can't say that.
If you're a girl, you've got to go.
Seriously, leave me alone.
You got to find authorities.
You got to go to the front desk, go to the bar, check out people and say,"Can you guys call the police, please?
This guy?
I don't want to walk to my car.
Can someone walk me to my car?" You got to be worried about that.
That sucks.
But that's rare with guys.
That's happened to me once in 57 years.
Where a guy uncomfortably hit on me and wouldn't stop.
Well, one other time at the store.
But that wasn't as Blake.
It was just he kept touching me.
Like, stop fucking touching me.
You know, there's gay guys that, like, push those limits.
Like, if you were a girl and a guy kept putting his hand on your leg, you'd be like, hey, stop doing that.
Like, why do you keep grabbing me?
Why do you keep touching my body?
Why do you keep touching my legs?
That's fucking weird.
You're crossing lines, and I don't know what other lines you're thinking about crossing.
So let's stop this.
But that's not most gay people.
I have these friends that I live next to in California.
They're gay, and they're super Republican now.
It's hilarious.
I've followed them on Facebook.
unidentified
They're fucking super Republican now.
joe rogan
They're all in against the Dems, how they've ruined California.
Because these guys, they're a conservative gay couple.
They're married, they got a kid, and they're just like, enough of this.
joey diaz
The world is changing, brother.
joe rogan
Yeah. Well, that's a good thing that the world is changing.
You know, because...
Do you know the guy who invented the Turing test?
Do you know what the Turing test is?
No. His name is Alan Turing.
And he's a scientist.
He invented a test that they say AI has passed.
And this test is where you can talk to a computer and not be able to tell that it's a computer.
It behaves like a human.
It thinks like a human.
It communicates like a human, where it's indiscernible.
That's the Turing test.
AI has recently passed the Turing test.
Well, this guy, he was in England when this happened, right, Jamie?
Where they forced him to take medication.
He got arrested for being gay in, like, the 1950s.
And they forced him to take medication that made him sterile, made him impotent, so he couldn't have sex.
Like, they forced him to take, like, hormone blockers that they give to sex offenders.
You know, chemical castration, when they do that to sex offenders.
And then he killed himself.
The guy who invented the method of determining whether or not AI has become sentient gets murdered by dumb apes who don't like that he's gay.
How crazy is that?
I'm not fucking that story up, right?
I'm pretty sure that's the story.
joey diaz
When do they give you blockers to sexual offenders?
When do they give you that?
joe rogan
Well, they don't always do it, you know, but it's called chemical castration.
And by the way, it's the same chemicals, the same drugs that they use on kids when they give them hormone blockers.
So when you talk to a, they're talking about a child getting puberty blockers, you know, oh, it's totally reversible.
The fuck it is.
The fuck it is.
That's the same shit.
It's chemical castration.
It's not reversible.
That child is never going to fully develop.
If they get on hormone blockers, then when they're 18, they go, you know what?
I think I actually am a man.
Too late.
Too late.
Because from 13 to 15, you suppressed your testosterone.
Okay, here it is.
Turing was later convicted by the advice of his brother and his own solicitor, and he entered a plea of guilty.
In the case, Regina v.
Turing and Murray was brought to trial on the 31st of March, 1952.
Turing was convicted and given a choice between imprisonment and probation.
His probation would be conditional on his agreement to undergo hormonal physical changes designed to reduce libido, known as chemical castration.
He accepted the option of injections of what was then called Stilbostrol, now known as Dithyl Stilbostrol, or DES, a synthetic ostrogin.
Murray was given a conditional discharge.
So Murray must have been the guy he was having sex with.
That's so crazy, man.
Arrested for being gay.
1954 at his house.
Turing's housekeeper found him dead.
Post-mortem was held that evening and determined that he had died from the previous day at age 41 with cyanide poisoning, cited as the cause of death.
He had an apple lay half-eaten beside his bed.
Although apples not tested for cyanide, it was speculated that this was the means in which Turing had consumed a fatal dose.
So he fucking killed himself.
Because they chemically castrated him.
Founder of computer science and cryptographer, whose work was key to breaking the wartime Enigma codes.
So this guy helped the British crack codes.
And what'd they do?
They injected him with poison so that his dick wouldn't work, so he couldn't fuck guys anymore, which is what he wanted.
Imagine if everyone was Gay.
Everyone. And you are straight.
And you're like, I don't want any dick.
This is crazy.
Like, guys keep trying to offer your dick.
Like, no, no, no, no.
Is there anything else?
And then you meet girls like, oh, look, they're so soft and so pretty.
That's what I like.
I like girls.
And like, no, you don't.
No, you're going to take this gay drug until you get that out of your system or we're going to chemically castrate you.
You can't be having sex with girls.
But they're so pretty.
They're so lovely to be around.
I'm so attracted to them.
No. No, no, no.
Only guys.
That's crazy.
That's how stupid these people, especially when you get to serious fundamentalist religions which want to throw them off roofs.
This part of the Middle East, they throw them off the roof.
Round up all the gay guys.
Throw them off the roof.
And everybody watches and cheers.
unidentified
Yay. Crazy.
joey diaz
Like I said, it's a different world out there, my friend.
joe rogan
It is a different world out there, but it's the world out there that could be just like the world here.
It could go this way here.
Like, that's what people don't understand.
Just how Los Angeles fell apart.
The United States could fall apart, too.
You know?
Like, look at Iran.
We were looking at Iran the other day in photographs from the 1970s.
Girls had miniskirts.
They all look really hot.
The guys had no shirts on.
Six-packs.
Walking down the street.
Everyone's smiling.
Looks like Europe.
It looks like you're in Italy.
And now it's a religious-run country.
It's run by a dictatorship.
Like, you criticize the government, they execute you.
They executed an Olympic gold medalist in wrestling.
Yeah, the UFC even tried to get them to stop.
They pleaded to try to get them to stop.
They tried to get Trump to get them to, or was it during the Biden administration or the Trump administration?
I don't remember, but they tried to get the president to somehow or another talk to Iran and not kill this guy.
joey diaz
They killed him because he spoke against the government?
joe rogan
Allegedly. But you don't even have to really have spoken against the government.
That's what's so scary.
You just have to be accused of speaking against the government.
I mean, to this day and age, like a friend of mine's Twitter account got hacked.
And he got phished.
They sent him an email.
And he didn't.
You know, he's not that sophisticated with that stuff.
And so he got phished.
And then I heard he got phished.
I go to my Twitter, just because I never check my DMs.
But I did it just because I knew he got phished.
And I went into my DM, and it was him asking me for my email address after he got phished.
So I was like, this motherfucker.
He's trying to get me now.
So someone can easily get your account, or use some sort of code cracker, or figure out your code.
Then start posting stuff for you against the government.
Especially if you're in Iran.
Like, they probably already have all your passcodes for everything over there.
They've probably been, like, spying on everybody's computer from the jump.
They probably just go to the database.
What's Joey Diaz's Facebook password?
Okay, post a bunch of shit there about the people in government should all be lined up and shot.
They all suck dicks secretly.
They're all eating babies.
Just make them say something like that, and then let's go round them up.
And then, if you don't have any due process, that's the kind of shit that dictators do.
They just round you up.
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Don't get scared of the shit out of me.
We were talking about this the other day, about Ukraine and Russia.
He's like, you know, there's people in Russia that are just in Russia because they tweeted against the government.
And you know what they do with those people?
They put them in prison.
And you know what happens when the war breaks out?
They give them the option.
Like, you could either be in jail forever, or you can go fight in the war.
And so they go to the front line, and they get killed by American weapons.
Guys who are tweeting against Putin.
It's like, you can use it to get rid of his political enemies.
Crazy. And this is all while you and I, at the same time, hanging out in Boston, or hanging out in Austin, rather, eating barbecue.
You know?
Like, it could go that way here, too.
Just like it went that way in Iran, it could go that way in the United States.
Just like L.A. fell apart.
L.A. 20 years ago was amazing.
Amazing. You remember L.A. in 2005?
We were having the time of our lives.
joey diaz
96, 97. Oh, my God.
joe rogan
We were having the time of our lives.
The restaurants were great.
There was music playing everywhere.
It was fun.
There was a lot of great comedy.
We had a good group of guys we were all hanging out with.
L.A. was great.
Yeah, there was still some traffic, but...
You know, the weather was great.
People were generally pretty nice.
A lot nicer than they were on the East Coast.
It's not even the same place anymore.
And that can happen anywhere.
That can happen in the United States.
If something terrible happens in the United States, new laws get passed, new restrictions, that can happen anywhere.
That's why I talk about it so much.
People are like, why do you obsess about it so much?
Because you need to be paying attention.
Because when it's too late, when they've already got complete control of what you can say on social media, And they got you locked down.
You're in trouble.
You're in trouble.
Because so many other things are coming that they're aware of.
And the big one is automation.
Joey, when automation comes, and this is what Andrew Yang was kind of running on when he was running for president.
And I had him in and it was a very interesting conversation because it was something that I hadn't considered.
That all these jobs are gone.
You know there's parts of the world like there's ports in China now where it's a hundred percent controlled by robots There's a few people that run around do maintenance and stuff, but everything screens Everything is super efficient.
These robots pick up the packages.
They make an inventory of everything's in there.
Everything gets logged into the computer they Put it into these trucks And before you know it, they're going to have electric trucks that drive themselves.
joey diaz
That's why the strike happened in Jersey, all over with the Teamsters, with the Longshoremen.
Yes. Because they know it.
They don't have much left.
joe rogan
They don't have much time left.
They don't have much time left.
joey diaz
It's fucking crazy how industry has just dwindled in this country.
unidentified
I know.
joey diaz
You know, and Americans really don't see that.
See, because everybody's fucking into traveling and being cool.
The gift that I had from doing comedy was I really got to see the country.
I really got to see the ins and outs.
And when I was a feature actor, I would ask questions.
You know, like when you don't sit in a hotel all day and you just go out and you go to a movie theater and you ask questions.
And people tell you, oh my God, that's a great restaurant.
Go there.
You know, you look at cities like Cleveland.
Okay, I don't know if a lot of people know this.
20 years ago, with all the jokes and shit, Cleveland had more Puerto Ricans than New York City.
Really? Because there was a fucking car plant there.
Oh. And they were building cars there.
You know, I remember being a fucking kid and going to Detroit for a basketball tournament or something stupid and seeing that city.
It was 1976, 77. That city was fucking booming.
joe rogan
Detroit was one of the richest cities in the world.
joey diaz
Booming. It was the murder capital at the time.
joe rogan
Was it still?
Even back then?
joey diaz
Yeah, yeah.
Because when I met my buddy in the 80s, he was from Detroit.
It was the murder capital.
But 75, 76, that city was booming, bro.
Yeah. You know.
Buffalo, New York, booming.
Fisher-Price, all these other companies left.
You know, that's what I saw.
Cleveland, Pittsburgh.
Yeah. Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh Steel!
Yep. I went to Pittsburgh two years ago, half the shit was closed down, brother.
Yep. You know?
joe rogan
Youngstown, same thing, Youngstown.
joey diaz
What? It was downtown Pittsburgh, like just around that area.
joe rogan
No, but Youngstown was like that too, right?
joey diaz
Was it?
joe rogan
Youngstown was a much better environment than it is now.
I believe.
Tony told me.
joey diaz
They have destroyed those parts of the country.
Now, I don't know what happened in Nebraska.
They could have had their own problems in Wyoming.
I just know that little stretch.
Buffalo, Cleveland, you know, fucking Cincinnati.
All those towns that were booming have just disappeared.
joe rogan
They got gutted.
All the jobs went overseas.
joey diaz
So if you're going to bring this country back, it's got to start with that.
We got to go back to that, to make us strong again.
Yeah, we're going to have to fucking sweat it out for 10 months.
But you know what?
10 years ago, I fucking was getting those $100 a day movies, and I said, I'm not doing them anymore.
For a year, I didn't work as an actor.
Then finally, I got a high-scale movie, because I kept saying no to the low movies.
That's how you lift up a little bit.
That's how you bump up, by just saying fucking no.
We didn't want to do this all of a sudden, and we need to do this.
We need to get this country hopping again.
joe rogan
Well, the problem is they gave corporations an opportunity to make more money at the sacrifice of all those jobs in America.
And the problem with corporations is they have an obligation to constantly make more money.
joey diaz
And labor.
joe rogan
Yeah. But no, but that's the way you make more money is by having no labor.
unidentified
No labor.
joe rogan
And not just that, no health insurance.
This is, you know, Ron, not Ron Paul.
What's his name?
Ross Perot.
Ross Perot talked about that.
We were talking about it with Ron White the other day.
That he was explaining that if you change these regulations and make it cheaper and easier for these people to go and make...
He said, you're going to hear a giant sucking sound as all the businesses go south.
And that's exactly what happened.
joey diaz
That's exactly what happened.
joe rogan
And he called that in the 1990s.
joey diaz
That was my boy.
joe rogan
Yeah, I voted for him.
joey diaz
I love Ross Perot.
Always did.
Always. That's a real fucking American right there.
joe rogan
He was.
They threatened him, dude.
They threatened his family.
He was going to run again a second time, and he said he's not going to do it because his family was under threat that he considered serious.
He was dangerous because he could ruin the election.
Bush, they thought, was going to win a second term.
But Ross Perot came along, and conservative people that didn't really want to believe in the Republican Party anymore, they're like, this party's just as full of shit as the left.
They saw this Ross Perot guy and they went, oh, okay.
He took a considerable amount of the vote and most of it would be against what Herbert Walker Bush would have got.
And then Clinton came along and fucking wasn't even supposed to win that year.
Bam! Now he's in.
Let's go!
joey diaz
Remember. They're paying for this with your money.
I'm paying for this with my money.
Exactly. That was his fucking classic shit.
Yeah. That was hysterical.
joe rogan
Do you remember when he had that half-hour show on TV where he explained how the Federal Reserve works?
joey diaz
I don't remember that.
joe rogan
Yeah, he bought a half-hour of regular primetime TV to explain to people how you're getting fucked.
He's explaining all the scams that are being run on you that you don't know about, and this is why I'm running for president.
I'm like, whoa, look at this guy.
joey diaz
That guy fucking did something that a lot of people don't know.
His employees got kidnapped in Iran, and he went in there and took them out, and he hired like a Marlon Brando from Apocalypse Now to train his employees.
Really? Yeah, he was a retired colonel, some badass Vietnam.
joe rogan
So was his actual employees that went and got him out?
joey diaz
Yeah, that's the story.
He made his employees.
We're a family.
Whoa. We're going on.
And he made a promise to the people's families that he would have them back by Christmas, and he had them back by Christmas.
Wow. And Kissinger kept giving him fucking a hard time.
A bunch of people kept giving him a hard time.
He did not give a fuck.
He goes, I'm doing it.
I gave those people my word.
His word was word, dog.
How much money was he worth?
unidentified
Billions. Yeah, he was a billionaire.
joey diaz
Back then?
In the 90s already?
joe rogan
I believe so.
How much money was Ross Perot worth?
Yeah. Which back then, so 1990 billionaire, it's probably like, it's probably just double the billions, whatever it is.
Probably something like that.
Or maybe triple the billions.
joey diaz
Did he get oil money?
jamie vernon
At the time, in 92, he was the 13th wealthiest man in America, net worth around $4 billion.
joe rogan
So what is $4 billion from that time worth today?
Let's guess.
jamie vernon
$8 billion.
joey diaz
$8? Yeah.
joe rogan
I'm going to say $9.
I might be way off, though.
I'm completely guessing.
jamie vernon
Just under $7.
unidentified
Yeah. We're both wrong.
joe rogan
That's a lot of money, though.
Still, it's almost double.
joey diaz
Doug, what about the chief of police in my hometown and the shit on his desk?
joe rogan
Yeah, why'd he do that?
joey diaz
I don't know.
joe rogan
Was he proving a point?
What was up with that?
joey diaz
You know, man, I heard he's a good dude, but he's a prankster.
Oh! He's like a prankster type of dude.
joe rogan
So he's like Ari Shaffir?
joey diaz
Yeah, he sends, like, packages to your house.
He's one of those dudes, you know?
And, uh, I don't know.
I guarantee he was like a joke and it just blew up.
Now it's Nashville.
Now you got nowhere to go.
joe rogan
Oh my god.
Did you see what Ari did once?
We shoved a note up his ass and he shit it out on stage and read it.
unidentified
Oh.
joe rogan
Look at your face!
joey diaz
I don't want nobody to read a note out of their ass.
joe rogan
I don't want you shitting in the room with me.
What kind of parasites and bugs?
joey diaz
No, he's got hemorrhoids.
He's got...
joe rogan
All sorts of stuff is flying through the air.
Every breath you breathe is Ari's shit gas flying around.
joey diaz
He's a fucking nut.
unidentified
He's so crazy.
joey diaz
He has not stopped at all.
Like, it is not ending.
No. I'm going to his thing next week.
joe rogan
He's never growing up.
joey diaz
No, no, he's never growing up.
joe rogan
It's not happening.
joey diaz
But he's getting married, right?
Have you gotten married or something like that?
joe rogan
He's already married.
unidentified
Yeah, I'm going to go to his party and shit.
joey diaz
I don't even know what the fuck it is.
unidentified
It's going to be a fucking carnival of psychopaths.
joey diaz
Dog, I was telling you the other night, I got really fucking high.
I got home and I couldn't sleep.
And I started watching old fights.
I even watched a Pepino Cuevas fight.
joe rogan
Oh, yeah.
joey diaz
That dude was fast.
joe rogan
Yeah, he was good.
joey diaz
He was good.
And I watched.
joe rogan
You ever see him versus Tommy Hearns?
No. See if you can find Pepino Cuevas versus Tommy Hearns.
I'm 90% sure that's who I'm talking about.
joey diaz
Pepino Cuevas was, I think, a little thinner of a guy.
joe rogan
Wasn't he at 47?
Maybe I'm wrong.
joey diaz
Thomas Hearns was at 47. Yes.
joe rogan
He started his career at 47 and went all the way up to light heavyweight.
Yeah, Pepino Cuevas versus Tommy Hearns.
One of the most memorable moments of the early days of Tommy Hearns' like...
When he was at the peak of his powers.
Tommy Hearns was nuking people, man.
Just nuking people.
He had such a reach and such width for 45. He was such a physical freak.
And he was big, but he had long and skinny, but crazy power.
Which, generally, thin guys don't have...
The same kind of power is like the muscular guys, but Tommy Hearns was kind of like Deontay Wilder.
He was both thin and muscular at the same time.
And, you know, real skinny legs, man.
But my God, the fucking torque that guy had in his punches.
You got to think of the leverage because his shoulders are so wide.
So when he twists his hips and he's got those long arms coming you with all those fucking back muscles and the core engaged, fucking balam!
joey diaz
Hey, Balam, when was the last time there was a fight like this in Detroit?
joe rogan
Well, Tommy's from Detroit.
joey diaz
No, no, but I'm saying, they don't even have fights like this in Detroit.
They're so poor now.
joe rogan
Was this in Detroit?
joey diaz
Yeah. Oh, wow.
joe rogan
Well, that's Tommy's hometown, you know?
He was hunting people.
You ever see him knock out Roberto Duran?
joey diaz
I watched it.
That's what I was watching.
I watched.
Listen to the triple feature I watched.
I watched Duran, Hagler.
Hagler. Oh!
joe rogan
Back that up a sec.
Back that up a sec.
Look, he's measuring him with his left.
Watch this.
He's measuring him.
And watch this.
Boom! Holy shit.
Oh my goodness, son.
joey diaz
Holy shit.
joe rogan
Oh my goodness.
Oh my goodness.
That Tommy Hearns.
That kind of power was crazy.
Yeah, you better stop that fight.
My goodness.
Tommy Harris, he was a one-hitter quitter.
unidentified
He faceplanted Roberto Duran.
joey diaz
What a crazy fight.
joe rogan
The crazy thing about that fight is they did not box at all.
They went to war.
There was no boxing, slipping, there was no fainting.
Marvin Haggard just said, fuck you, and ran at him.
He just ran at him and just fucking just started smashing.
joey diaz
It was non-stop.
Yeah. He got hit hard, too.
It was non-fucking-stop.
joe rogan
Tommy broke his hand in the first round.
So in the first round, when they first come out of the gate...
joey diaz
Yeah, the greatest round of boxing.
Look at this shit.
unidentified
Yep. God, Hagler was good.
joe rogan
He's another one who died right after the vaccine.
Look at this.
Right away.
Right hook.
To the body.
Just charging.
Charging forward.
Charging forward.
Fuck this.
Fuck this boxing on the outside.
I'm trying to get in there.
Boom. To the body again.
Boom. Right hand.
Boom. Just going to fucking war, dude.
Right here.
I mean, high profile.
Two world champions completely throwing it all out the window.
Just wailing on each other.
joey diaz
Holy shit, Joe.
joe rogan
Boom, left hand!
unidentified
Boom, boom!
joe rogan
The thing about Hagler was his discipline was fucking supreme, man.
That guy never got out of shape.
He always could break guys, break their will.
Boom, boom, boom!
So by this time, Tommy probably already has a broken hand.
So he broke it on Hagler's head somewhere in the first.
So now he's throwing the jab.
So I bet his hand's already broken.
See? It's all left hands now.
He threw that right hand, but he was weak.
You know?
He didn't really hurt him with the right hand.
He's like pulling it back as he's throwing it.
See? He's just trying to touch him with that right hand.
That left hand is all he's got left.
His right hand is cooked.
And Hearns has decided to start moving and boxing, which is not like his style.
See, like, even when he's landing that right hand, he's got no power behind it now.
And Sugar Ray Leonard is talking shit in the commentary.
joey diaz
Both fighters are unbalanced.
unidentified
Watch for Hagler's hook.
Now that was the right hand of Tommy Hearns, and it did catch Hagler, but he didn't take a backward step there.
joe rogan
Hagler could take a shot, too, better than anybody.
He only has one knockdown accredited to him his entire career, but it wasn't a knockdown.
He fought Juan Roldan, and Juan Roldan kind of cuffed him in the back of the neck and pushed him forward, and Hagler fell forward and touched the ground, and the referee mistakenly called it a knockdown.
The only time he's ever been down.
Took bombs from the greatest punchers in the division, beat everybody except Sugar Ray, and I think the only reason why he lost to Sugar Ray was, I think the fix was in that fight, son.
I watched that fight many times.
joey diaz
Many times.
joe rogan
Yeah, there's something about it.
Something about it.
And then Hagler leaves and goes to become a movie star in Italy?
Come on.
And his trainers are the Petronelli brothers in Brockton, Massachusetts?
Come on.
Shut the fuck up.
You know how much money was on Hagler to win, probably?
You know?
It was probably some sort of a deal.
Like, look, the odds are very favorable in Hagler's direction, and we can get a bet on Leonard.
We can clean up here.
Marvin to just like, you know, don't put him away.
Just touch him a little bit.
Touch him.
He never has him hurt.
Never has him hurt in the whole fight.
Just, he was so good.
I just, he didn't seem right.
It seemed like almost he was like sparring sometimes.
Hard to say, though.
Sugar Ray was so good, too.
The guy could come back after all those years off.
You know, he had one fight, got dropped, said he was retiring, and then comes back.
And decides he's gonna fight Hagler.
And then he wins.
And then Hagler's like, I'm done.
I'm done.
I'm gonna go to Italy and make terrible movies.
You ever see those Marvin Hagler movies?
No. Oh, you gotta see some clips!
No. Joey, they're the dumbest movies of all time.
Hagler punches people, they go flying through the air.
joey diaz
No, I'm not watching them.
I love Marvin Hagler too much.
joe rogan
No, they're fun!
unidentified
Look, he was having a good time.
joe rogan
I bet he was a huge star in Italy.
But that, to me, it's like everything seems fishy.
The fight seemed fishy to me.
The decision seemed fishy to me.
And then Hagler goes off and becomes a movie star, and I go, okay.
In Italy?
How does that happen?
How do you get connected?
How does that happen?
Look how bad this movie is.
joey diaz
Look how bad this movie is.
unidentified
The world has to know what's happening here.
It's the thrill-packed feature action fans are waiting for.
I want those Indios.
Marvelous Marvin Hagler returns from the original Indio.
joey diaz
Indio 2, The Revolt.
The jungle is shrinking.
joe rogan
He's here to build a highway for a jungle.
unidentified
It's paid by the mind.
joey diaz
And greed is spreading.
unidentified
You had better start praying to your God that we finish the highway before the rainy season.
Here, only one man is mean enough.
I know many of us may die.
But it is better to die than to live like slaves.
joey diaz
Mad enough.
Tell them the days of running and hiding are over.
unidentified
This is your land.
Will you lead us, my friend?
joe rogan
Sometimes. It's hilarious.
joey diaz
I honestly want Italian.
There's not one fucking Italian.
joe rogan
That guy.
unidentified
That guy.
joe rogan
That guy with his mustache.
That was Sergio.
I gotta be in this movie.
You hit me with a left hand.
Come on.
I got one scene.
joey diaz
Hilarious. Wow.
I didn't even know that shit.
joe rogan
Yeah. That guy was my hero when I was a kid.
joey diaz
And they didn't even make him like a shaft or anything.
They made him go into like the fucking...
joe rogan
Italian movies.
It's an Italian movie.
They made him in Italy.
There's a lot of movies being made in Italy.
That's why they call those spaghetti westerns, right?
You know that.
joey diaz
Did you ever hear of those stories, like how interesting that is?
joe rogan
The Sergio Leone movies?
joey diaz
Well, I just saw something about it, maybe eight months ago.
There's a thing on Channel 11 in Jersey on Saturdays called I Am.
And every week they have somebody else on it.
And it's brilliant, Joe.
I Am Bruce Lee, I Am This, I Am That.
It's just brilliant.
And they had, what were we just talking about?
joe rogan
Marvin Hagler.
joey diaz
No. They had an IM about somebody.
Oh! Clint Eastwood.
joe rogan
Clint Eastwood.
joey diaz
And it was how he would go and shoot the movies, and then they would send him the films, and he'd have to do ADR in L.A. Oh, really?
Fucking interesting shit.
I didn't know anything about this stuff.
joe rogan
So why did he have to do ADR?
So ADR, what does that stand for?
joey diaz
ADR when you put your voice on.
joe rogan
What does it stand for, though?
jamie vernon
Automated Dialogue Replacement.
joe rogan
Thank you, audio engineer.
joey diaz
When he shot the movies, he was just talking.
Right. So then when he'd get them after they'd...
Put them together, he would lay the American in them.
joe rogan
Oh, I see.
joey diaz
And now, you know, he would send them back, and they would send them back.
joe rogan
So when he shot the movies, he wasn't even speaking?
He had to speak over it?
joey diaz
Over it or something, yeah.
joe rogan
Wow. Because, wow, they probably had it dubbed in Italian.
joey diaz
But you've got to remember, all the, that, listen, I'm a big fan of that era of movies.
That's my era of movies.
Those people.
And, you know, I watched the other night.
You haven't seen this movie in 30 fucking years.
None of years.
When you put it on, you're going to shit.
What? One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest.
joe rogan
I haven't seen that in forever.
joey diaz
Dog, they got seven stars in that movie.
Like you and Babbitt, Charlie Babbitt, Martini, fucking the guy from Jersey, what's his name that was in Taxi, a little guy, he's still around.
joe rogan
Oh, Danny DeVito was in that?
joey diaz
Danny DeVito was in that, dog.
Really? Fucking a dude with the big head.
Look at the fucking cast on this.
joe rogan
Christopher Lloyd.
Wow. Will Sampson.
joey diaz
Oh, that's the dude!
joe rogan
That's our boy.
joey diaz
The Outlaw Josie Wales.
joe rogan
These are my words of life.
joey diaz
Yeah, that's Chief.
joe rogan
How the fuck?
joey diaz
He made three movies.
This, Outlaw Josie Wales, and fucking some other movie.
He was in three fucking brilliant movies, that dude.
joe rogan
Yeah, that guy was in a lot of movies.
joey diaz
Bro, this movie is fucking hilarious.
unidentified
They'll make a bit of sense to me.
joey diaz
This will never happen again.
joe rogan
That guy, by the way, is a normal guy in today's society.
Who? Jack Nicholson.
Yeah. You couldn't ever get him into mental health.
He'd be like, this guy's fine.
Let him out.
Like, there's more fucked up guys right now than that guy that are tending bar on 6th Street right now.
joey diaz
And this movie starts politically incorrect.
Like, they couldn't make this today like this.
No. And I'm surprised they haven't tried to remake this movie.
joe rogan
Well, you know, the guy who made Home Alone said that he wanted to cut Trump out of the scene, but he's worried that he'd get sent in prison if he did it.
joey diaz
Because he keeps getting aggravated.
People annoy him.
joe rogan
I think they cut it out of it in Canada.
I think the Canadian version of...
Is it Home Alone 2?
joey diaz
Yeah, Home Alone 2. You know how many TV shows Trump did over the years?
I've seen them once a fucking month on Sunday.
joe rogan
They have to say that.
No, I get it.
It's part of their liberal identity.
They have to be united.
joey diaz
But, like, I was telling you that the people that I grew up liking, and so do you, that's what I liked about them.
That they had to go somewhere else to become stars.
And when they came back to the United States, they were like, we're fucking you in the ass now.
That's Clint Eastwood, Charles Bronson, Steve McQueen, not as much.
He just wanted to fuck everybody in the ass.
You know, Steve McQueen was just like, you're sucking my dick either way.
I'm doing what I want.
They don't even have that.
The worst thing we've had in Hollywood in 20 years is when Brad Pitt made the movie with Angelina Jolie and he never came back.
Poor Jennifer Aniston was waiting with flowers and slippers.
That motherfucker never came back.
joe rogan
She's a temptress.
joey diaz
The first one was when Steve McQueen took that girl from the head of fucking...
joe rogan
Oh, yes.
joey diaz
And then did a movie under his fucking nose.
That is something that they will cancel you.
They couldn't do nothing to him.
joe rogan
Well, he was one of the rare movie stars back then.
They couldn't do anything to him.
When there's an actual movie star in 1979, there's not a lot of those people.
You need them to sell tickets.
People don't know new people.
They're not online.
You've got to know, oh, it's a Steve McQueen movie, and you go see it.
Who's the star of the movie?
I never heard of the guy.
Fuck this movie.
Oh, look over here.
There's a Clint Eastwood movie.
Let's go to see that.
Like, stars were everything back then.
joey diaz
Everything back then.
joe rogan
Everything. It's interesting because some great movies now don't have any stars in them.
Like Mel Gibson when he made Apocalypto.
You don't know anybody in that movie.
joey diaz
That's a great movie.
joe rogan
It's a great movie.
joey diaz
Great movie.
joe rogan
And you don't know anybody in that movie.
It's perfect.
It's perfect because you really believe the characters that way.
I don't have to go, oh, it's Robert Downey Jr.
Oh, he's doing a great job pretending to be that scientist.
No, no, it's some guy that might actually be a scientist, you know?
joey diaz
I don't know, but no, they didn't do anything to Steve McQueen.
Charles Bronson, same way.
He was a prick on those movie sets.
They wanted everything.
They took everything, Joe.
It just came up.
We discussed it last time.
They just got released as Steve McQueen writers.
From his movies?
joe rogan
The Riders, yeah.
Riders are different.
For people that don't know, that means like all the things that you get when you're on the set.
Like you can say, I want M&Ms in my green room.
I want, you know, Pick Floyd albums, whatever.
joey diaz
Fucking insane.
Yeah. His was insane.
His suits had to be a certain cut.
They had to cost a certain way.
Well, he ain't worried, it's Steve McQueen.
joe rogan
Some comics have that kind of shit, where you have to have size 11 Jordans waiting for them backstage.
joey diaz
Yeah, but you pay for it.
Comics are like, yeah, I'm not going in there until I got my size 12s.
unidentified
You pay for it.
joey diaz
What's the big deal?
Well, yeah, they gave me some sneakers.
No, you didn't.
You bought those sneakers, stupid.
joe rogan
It comes out of the price.
joey diaz
Yeah, they think that, oh, they bought me sneakers because I'm special and shit.
joe rogan
Yeah, but I think it's a thing where you want to feel like you're being taken care of.
joey diaz
Right, yeah, even though you're paying for it.
Fuck that.
I'll bring my own sneakers.
joe rogan
Yeah, I'll bring my own sneakers.
joey diaz
I'm going to show up and there's a box of sneakers.
Oh, you got me white sneakers.
I'm not going to perform because that shit started happening.
joe rogan
Oh, really?
joey diaz
Yeah, people were like, I want black Jordan.
And all of a sudden they're white.
I ain't getting on stage until I get my black Jordan.
Now they gotta run around town.
joe rogan
I've heard people turn limos back.
Yes. Back in the day because it was the wrong color limo.
joey diaz
Yeah, yeah.
joe rogan
I ordered a white limo.
What is this bullshit?
joey diaz
And who fucking drove you when you lived under that fucking bridge?
Just getting a goddamn fucking car, cocksucker.
joe rogan
People love making demands, right?
Like, it has to be this way.
Or that's it, I walk.
People love making demands.
joey diaz
And that's what happens in that fucking town in Hollywood.
And people go, okay, no, go fuck yourself.
You want that?
Bring it yourself.
And once you start doing that, listen, I understood what you said before about Austin, and it makes sense to me now.
It's like the day I took my daughter to school, and there was moms hugging trees in Studio City crying.
If I was a redneck, I'd show up with a shotgun that day and just shoot it and watch those moms just fly.
That's where the guns keep the liberals in check.
Okay? That's when you come in and go, you want to hug trees?
Boom! And fucking start shooting off cats.
Dog, they were hugging trees.
Right in front of the school, my daughter and Bert's went.
joe rogan
Why were they hugging trees?
joey diaz
Because they were going to cut the trees down.
We went to the school and the cops were there and women were hugging the trees, holding each other's hands.
Crying. This is why I had to get the fuck out of there.
Crying. And that's where a guy with a gun would have been perfect.
A big fucking gun.
You guys like trees so much.
Boom! And those bitches would have been running to that fucking coffee shop.
Crying. They didn't know what happened.
Fuck those trees, Jack.
That's what you need.
A gun in California to tell these motherfuckers, shut the fuck up.
You go on Facebook now and I see people I used to hang with in California and they're talking about other people and everybody's so talented and everything's so gracious and to work with such a great bunch of talented individuals.
Thank God they've let my creative juices work.
unidentified
Shut the fuck up.
joey diaz
Shut the fuck up.
What are you talking about?
I ain't to smack you now or smack you later.
It is, it's so much.
joe rogan
Very pretentious.
joey diaz
Very, and that's what I don't, I don't miss any, listen, at all.
When I watch it in a movie now, I can't even stand small talk.
Like, that's what, I didn't even know what small talk was.
You know, it was like the night you did a show, I'm talking to you about Fear, before Fear Factor.
You did a show, maybe, at the Wulter one night.
Yeah. And we left a bunch of people there and they circled you.
Like Ann Maney and a bunch of other people, and they were talking to you about a deal or something.
And it was like, oh my god, your set was so great.
And you're supposed to stand there like, thank you.
I fucking hate that shit.
joe rogan
Yeah, they love kissing people's ass.
joey diaz
We loved it.
Oh my god.
Mimi and I loved it.
Mimi. Victoria and I loved it.
We're so happy you invited us.
And you have to sit there and go, come on, knock it the fuck off.
joe rogan
That was in the deal days.
joey diaz
Yeah, yeah.
joe rogan
But I'd still be shopping around deals.
joey diaz
Yeah, when they come up to you and talk to you, you had to be like, fucking, hi, yeah.
So how was that?
How did that feel?
joe rogan
Yeah, well, you still connected to the system, and that was how I was making most of my money.
So I'd make some money from stand-up, but I would make like a couple hundred thousand dollars on these deals.
joey diaz
On these deals.
joe rogan
That would be my year's money.
And then I'd be working with some fucking schlub, making a sitcom that sucked.
It never went anywhere.
I did that for a couple years.
So I did that from like 99 to 2001.
And then Fear Factor started.
joey diaz
News Radio's on at 8 o'clock.
joe rogan
It's everywhere.
My kids watch it.
joey diaz
I watch it.
joe rogan
They think it's hilarious.
joey diaz
I watched my favorite episode a couple weeks ago when he was playing the piano on the fucking Phil Harmon.
He was playing the piano on the elevator and it kept opening.
joe rogan
Oh, that's right.
That was a fun episode.
That was a fun show.
But that show ruined me for other sitcoms.
Doing a sitcom after that show, like, why?
It's not going to be the same.
It's going to suck.
You need the...
It's like a very rare combination of people to put together a really good sitcom.
joey diaz
That was a very good show.
It was just...
I know that you told me over the years that they kept moving you and had never found a home or something like that.
joe rogan
Yeah, they moved like nine times.
The show really became popular after it was in syndication.
That's when it became popular.
It became popular when it was on, you know, 7pm on ABC or whatever the fuck it was, NBC Affiliate, you know, when they were just showing the syndicated reruns.
That's when it became popular.
Way more popular after it was cancelled than it was when it was on the air.
One of the writers, Lou Morton, every day would come to the table read.
He would have a t-shirt, like a white t-shirt, and we'd write a number on it, and that number was our ratings.
And one day he came in, it was like 85. I was like, 85?
Really? We're like 85th.
We're the 85th show.
joey diaz
That's good.
joe rogan
Terrible. Good is number one.
joey diaz
Oh, no, no, I just didn't know.
I thought it was like a rating system.
joe rogan
No, no, no, no.
It's the ranked shows in the country.
We were like 85 or 88, something like that.
It was real bad.
Real bad.
We were like on the verge of being canceled.
joey diaz
I know you're watching some good shows now.
Yeah. I'm watching one show and I'll tell you.
joe rogan
What are you watching?
joey diaz
There's some people who are dangerous.
And then there's Helen Mirren.
joe rogan
What are you watching?
Oh, the 1923 show?
joey diaz
Both of them.
joe rogan
Oh, yeah.
joey diaz
Mobland. Oh, yeah.
joe rogan
I heard Mobland's great.
joey diaz
She's fucking great.
joe rogan
Yeah, I have not seen that yet.
joey diaz
The Italian mafia movies, they're done.
Really? Yeah.
De Niro just put Outdoor Nights out.
They took it out of the movie theater in two fucking weeks.
joe rogan
He put what out?
joey diaz
He put a movie called Outdoor Nights out, where he plays two roles.
He plays Frank Costello and somebody else, or Vito Genovese.
I don't know exactly.
joe rogan
Somebody should have taken De Niro's keys away when he wanted to go out and do political speeches.
joey diaz
Well, no.
I think that...
Listen, you're not going to ban a movie because of his political beliefs.
joe rogan
No, but people are going to take him seriously because of his political beliefs.
joey diaz
Well, the way he acted, he drops them.
People, okay, and I get it, but to make two million dollars your first week?
joe rogan
That's not good.
joey diaz
And then like three million after that, and then they just yanked it.
I tried to go just to watch it.
joe rogan
It's called Alto Nights?
joey diaz
Have you heard of it, Jamie?
Nobody. Came and went.
Came and fucking went.
joe rogan
The problem when people who want to be taken seriously as actors talk a lot...
About politics and talk a lot and give out opinions.
They think that their opinions are very important and that it's important that they speak out.
But the problem with that is like you ruin your acting for other people who now think of the stupid shit that you've said instead of thinking you as this character.
Let me hear a little of this.
Hey, come on.
unidentified
Where do I start?
You're going down a very dangerous road and we ain't been down dangerous roads before But that's the risk you take me I tell but you're not where I am I get the charities I pay my taxes
This actually looks good.
They're bigger gangsters than we ever could be.
All of a sudden you want to be half thin, half hot, half a racketeer.
You can't have it both ways.
You're either in or you're out.
joe rogan
That looks good.
joey diaz
I'm telling you.
joe rogan
That looks good.
I'd watch that.
joey diaz
The movie is not bad.
joe rogan
I'm telling you, it's because De Niro talks too much.
joey diaz
I think that we're so out of going to the movies every Friday.
Like you said, nobody knew it came out.
I didn't even know it came out.
joe rogan
Well, COVID killed the movie theaters.
joey diaz
Oh, it's a shame.
joe rogan
Because they made movies way quicker out on streaming now.
All I have to do is wait a month.
I can wait a month.
One month later, I can watch it at home.
I don't have to see somebody texting people right in front of me with their fucking phone blinding white.
People talking.
What did he say?
What did he say?
Do you want any popcorn?
joey diaz
The movie theater I go to, there's never a show there.
Not a show.
I've never seen anything like that.
I usually go to the last screening on Thursday night.
Not a show.
joe rogan
I mean, most movie theaters.
People are polite.
joey diaz
Very nice.
Where I go?
Very. I can't believe it.
unidentified
But it's that risk.
joe rogan
That risk of one douchebag who fucks it up for everybody.
joey diaz
I won't go see a popular movie.
I'm not a top raider like that.
I like going to see a movie.
I go, you know what?
I want to go watch that.
Some movies I could watch at home.
Now I want to watch in the fucking thing.
Anything with 3D, like Wicked or whatever, I go.
I take my mushrooms.
I take my daughter.
I sit there.
She enjoys it.
And I fucking have a great time.
joe rogan
Wicked was great.
joey diaz
Wicked. It was great.
The only thing was, don't go on mushrooms.
No? I was so fucked up.
The chick is black and green.
I couldn't deal with that right off the bat.
Where's the black people?
Raise your hand.
What the fuck?
I'm feeling like a racist in here.
She can't be black and she can't be green.
Then Ariana with no eyebrows.
That killed me.
She had those blind eyebrows.
I'm on fucking mushrooms and this movie won't end.
It won't end.
joe rogan
It's a long movie.
joey diaz
It's a fucking long movie.
But I'm looking at her and she's having such a great time.
When you look at your kids and they're having such a great time, you're like, I don't give a fuck.
joe rogan
I enjoyed it.
I enjoyed the Barbie movie.
unidentified
How about that?
joey diaz
I never saw it.
joe rogan
I enjoyed it.
I went with my kids.
They had a good time.
I thought it was funny.
Everybody was like complaining.
It's political.
It's against the patriarchy.
Listen, here's my position.
A movie's allowed to be political.
Like, if you make a good movie and it happens to have a political slant to it, I don't care.
Is it a good movie?
I don't care.
I don't care.
Like, you're not going to change my opinion in a movie.
Like, this is your opinion.
This is how you're going to do it.
Like, okay.
So this movie is like a pro-feminism movie, people were saying.
They were complaining.
I'm like, it's a Barbie doll.
joey diaz
Can we just make a movie and nobody raise their fucking hand?
That's all it is.
joe rogan
But the thing is, everybody has to because they have to have a hot take on everything.
Everybody has to have a hot take.
There's a market out there of people where all they do is look for something to point out that's a disaster or a failure or here's my hot take and why this sucks and that's what they do.
All they do is find things that suck.
And they very rarely talk about things that are awesome.
No. Which is crazy.
Because there's so much awesome shit out there right now.
joey diaz
I hate all that shit.
joe rogan
You know what's great on Apple Plus?
Slow Horses.
Okay. Have you heard of it?
You know what it is?
No. It's Gary Oldman.
joey diaz
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
My wife watches that.
joe rogan
It's a British spy drama.
joey diaz
She says it's fucking tremendous.
joe rogan
It's fucking great.
Tremendous. Really good show.
joey diaz
I've been watching the one with Jon Hamm.
joe rogan
Which one?
joey diaz
He has a show, Jon Hamm, where he becomes a thief in a rich neighborhood.
joe rogan
Oh, really?
joey diaz
He loses his job.
joe rogan
Bro, there's too many shows.
joey diaz
Yeah, there's too many fucking shows.
joe rogan
There's too many shows.
You just can't.
You can't watch them all.
You want to watch a show that you shouldn't be on Mushrooms?
joey diaz
Severance. I heard that very well.
Good anyway.
joe rogan
Yeah, it's a very good show.
Don't watch that on Mushrooms, though.
You'll get fucked up.
joey diaz
I watched that movie with Demi Moore.
joe rogan
Oh, I heard about that.
I didn't see it.
Is that a show or a movie?
It's a movie?
joey diaz
That is the weirdest fucking movie I've seen in years.
joe rogan
It's a movie where she gets young again and goes back and forth.
Old and young.
joey diaz
Yeah. It was a little too deep for me.
joe rogan
Substance? Did you see it, Jamie?
jamie vernon
No, I was going to see it.
It's like a Black Mirror type movie.
And that just came back out too.
Black Mirror.
joe rogan
Yeah, I heard the new ones are great.
joey diaz
Do you watch 1823?
Yes. You liked it?
You enjoyed it?
I enjoyed all of them.
joe rogan
Love it.
joey diaz
I enjoyed all of them.
joe rogan
Landman's good, too.
Have you seen Landman?
That's very good.
joey diaz
Funny. Yeah.
That fucking girl.
joe rogan
Billy Bob's the man.
I love anything.
joey diaz
They're shooting already.
Yeah. Right?
They're down there shooting.
joe rogan
I believe so.
joey diaz
Yeah, because they were looking for vehicles or something I saw last week.
joe rogan
Yeah. Well, Taylor likes to do everything down here when he can.
You know?
He's got that giant ranch out here.
Taylor Sheridan.
unidentified
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
joe rogan
He's got the four sixes.
He's got that ranch.
And, you know, I mean, that guy can't lose.
Everything he touches is gold.
joey diaz
He's doing a really good job, yeah.
joe rogan
You ever met him?
No. Fucking great guy.
joey diaz
No, I have mutual friends that tell me you should meet him.
joe rogan
I had dinner with him and Bert in Vegas recently.
All our wives together after the fights.
After the UFC fights.
And a bunch of my pool player friends came by.
And Goggins.
Goggins was there with his wife too.
Great time.
Fucking great dinner.
So much fun.
We're all laughing.
Having fun.
Good fucking time.
But Taylor Sheridan's great.
Just, the guy can't lose.
And, you know, he made Sicario, bro.
You know?
Go watch that.
joey diaz
I watched it.
I loved it.
joe rogan
Watch that again.
joey diaz
The first and the second one.
joe rogan
Sicario was a fucking banger of a movie.
It was on TV the other day.
I was like, that's right.
This movie's...
That's a banger of a movie.
joey diaz
You know, it's a shame that, I don't know, maybe before the pandemic had started with, like, really bad movies.
It's just a shame, you know?
It really is a shame that we gotta wait for shows this long.
joe rogan
There's so much to watch, though.
joey diaz
Yeah, The Addams Family never came back with Jenna Garcia.
joe rogan
Was it supposed to come back?
unidentified
Yeah. Netflix never...
joey diaz
And I worked with one of the dudes and he goes, yeah, we already shot it.
It's still fucking been like three years.
By the time it comes back, my kid's gonna fucking not even remember.
Oh, she didn't even remember it anyway.
joe rogan
Are they doing anything with it?
joey diaz
I've never heard anything again.
joe rogan
Huh. Why would they do that?
That doesn't make any sense.
joey diaz
Netflix is off the...
You know, they don't know.
They just...
Netflix has so much fucking shit on there.
joe rogan
There's so much.
joey diaz
So much.
If I see one more Pablo Escobar thing...
They got...
If you watch, like, a murder thing one time, forget it.
joe rogan
They're talking about doing the UFC on Netflix.
Yep. Yeah.
Apparently, I think the UFC's negotiation...
Period. With ESPN.
Ended. Ended.
joey diaz
Yeah, so.
joe rogan
So what that means is they could talk to other people.
joey diaz
That fucking thing that night when everything fell apart, that was a bad night.
joe rogan
What? Which night?
joey diaz
When the ball dropped.
Not this card, but the one before that, when the pay-per-views, when all the disasters started.
It was about pay-per-views.
One night.
Nobody was getting the pay-per-view.
UFC fighters.
joe rogan
The app failed, right?
joey diaz
Yes, the app failed.
It was too overwhelming for the UFC, I think.
Because shit happens.
But this must have been bad because...
joe rogan
What fight card was that, Jamie, where there was a failure?
unidentified
I don't...
joe rogan
Was I working that?
How do I not know that that happened?
joey diaz
I don't think you were working that one.
jamie vernon
Let me see.
3-13, so two events ago.
May, March.
joe rogan
Where was that?
Where was it?
Was that Adesanya?
jamie vernon
Ankhalev decision over Pereira.
joe rogan
Oh, okay.
So I was working that one.
joey diaz
You did work it?
joe rogan
Yeah, I was working that one for sure.
It was Ankhalev when he won the title over Pereira.
So the pay-per-view, what happened?
It went down or it partially went down?
joey diaz
It partially went down.
I couldn't order the car.
There was a bunch of shit going on.
Then I went on Twitter and I saw Frankie Edgar and a bunch of other guys, fighters, saying, what the fuck is wrong with mine?
I'm like, okay, it's not just me.
And then I heard the riffraff that night, and then the next day they were talking about it, and then Monday, Dana was hot.
I know he did something.
He said something about it.
joe rogan
Well, I think in general the pay-per-view numbers are down as well because the casuals aren't buying it as much because you don't have...
First of all, the UFC is not like boxing.
Like a boxing pay-per-view is like, oh, Canelo's fighting in four months, and then you get gear up and you buy the Canelo Alvarez pay-per-view.
If you're a big boxing fan...
You might buy one once every couple months.
If you're hardcore, you're watching all of them.
You're on DAZN, and you're on ESPN +, you're watching every boxing match there is.
But there's not a lot of pay-per-views.
The UFC has a pay-per-view every week.
Or, excuse me, every month.
And then they have a fight every week.
So, it's like getting people to shell out 70 bucks for this card.
And also, like, some of the great fights are on the undercard.
And you already, before the pay-per-view starts, you already have, you know, three and a half hours of great fights you can watch for free.
And some of them, they're trying to lure you into buying the pay-per-view.
So some of the best fights are really on the undercard.
Sometimes. Like, guys who you don't know their names yet.
joey diaz
There's always one good fight that I want to watch on the undercard.
I'm going to watch the undercard for two fights or something.
Always. And then you guys start talking about the fights and then you get...
You know, and then you order it.
joe rogan
Yeah, I mean, the big fight clearly this last weekend was Volkanovski vs.
Lopez. That was the fight I really wanted to see.
Because I really wanted to see if Volkanovski could pull it off.
All-time great featherweight champion.
One of the, for sure, greatest fighters of all time.
Shoo-in for the Hall of Fame.
But he's 36. And he got knocked out two times in a row and he's fighting this fucking animal in Diego Lopez.
joey diaz
Diego Lopez is an animal.
joe rogan
It was a great fight, though.
And Volk pulled it off.
The fight that I really wanted to see was Bryce Mitchell versus John Silva.
Right. Because John Silva is a motherfucker, dude.
That guy looks like a world champion.
joey diaz
He choked him with a darts?
joe rogan
Yeah. Well, he choked him like a ninja choke.
Okay. And was like a no arm in.
With a darts, you have the arm in, and you cinch it up.
That was just all neck.
And put him to sleep.
He tapped, and then he went out.
beat him from pillar to post the entire fight and was smiling and laughing and looked like he was never threatened and never in danger just like he was on another level like way above Bryce like looked like a world champion like even guys that have beat him before that beat Bryce Mitchell before except Josh Emmett,
who just KO'd him with one punch.
But even Ilya Tapuria, he got to get a hold of him first.
John Silva looked like he was never a fight.
Almost like he was having fun.
He was trying to get him to touch hands at the beginning of every round.
He wouldn't do it.
He's like, come on, touch hands.
He's like, touch hands!
He wouldn't touch hands.
And then finally, he just put him to sleep.
He's an animal, man.
That guy is, that whole team, apparently, the fighting nerds.
I was talking to John Anik about this.
He said they have data scientists that work for the team.
Data scientists who analyze techniques.
And they, like, break things down.
Like, what's effective in patterns.
They find patterns.
Patterns of opponents.
What the person does.
When they do it.
joey diaz
Where are these guys at?
Brazil. All the way in Brazil.
joe rogan
Bro, that's a team of fucking savages.
joey diaz
Who else is that?
joe rogan
Kyle Baralho, who's one of the top 185 pounders, who might be the best.
In the world.
I mean, when he fights Drickus Duplassi, eventually we'll see, but he's just storching that division.
I mean, he's one of the best contenders in that.
And then you have Mauricio Rufi, who's one of the baddest lightweights alive, gigantic lightweight, tall and long, wheel-kicked Bobby Green into another dimension.
You got that guy.
You got Carlos Protes, who's a fucking killer.
Stone-cold Muay Thai killer who's really hard to take down.
And he's just...
100% finishing rate in the UFC, I believe.
He just knocked out Neil Magny.
He fucks everybody up.
He's a sniper.
Like super skillful and slick Muay Thai guy.
So their whole team is just killer, killer, killer, killer.
It's all killers.
Just like a team of brilliant up-and-coming killers.
See, these guys are learning now.
It's not just about training hard.
It's not just about sacrifice.
It's about thinking hard, too.
It's about learning.
It's about, like, really going over your game and, like, what can you improve upon?
How do we make this better?
How do we seal up this part of the game?
joey diaz
Amazing. I think the guy that led that, for me, was GSP.
joe rogan
Oh, yeah.
joey diaz
I was always very impressed with how every fight he showed up with something different.
Yeah. While his opponent was still like, yeah, GSP has got skills, but I still got this right hand.
unidentified
Okay. He was always learning.
joey diaz
He was always learning.
He was in the city with the kickboxing guy.
He was over...
joe rogan
Phil Nurse?
joey diaz
Yeah, Phil Nurse.
joe rogan
He was with Phil Nurse and the Watt.
Yeah, and then he would go with all the Greg Jackson guys.
joey diaz
Wild Card.
He would go over there.
joe rogan
Go to Wild Card, Chase Boxing.
joey diaz
Remember when he fought, I think it was Josh.
Kaczek, and he was jabbing.
Was that the fight where he fucking broke the jab out and he had trained at Wildcard?
joe rogan
Yeah, his jab had fucked Josh's eye up so bad that Josh couldn't fly home.
joey diaz
I remember that.
I remember all that shit, and that's what I liked about him.
His training was...
Another time...
You know, you're watching and he's doing gymnastics.
Yeah. Where's gymnastics in all this player game?
joe rogan
Well, he just realized that gymnasts are so powerful because they have such control of their body.
And he's like, well, I'm going to get better control of my body.
So he learned how to do backflips and shit.
joey diaz
Unbelievable. Swimming.
Fucking doing this, doing that.
And meanwhile, you're still going, well, my jujitsu game is elevated.
This motherfucker just went and worked out every part of his game, but focused on just one, really.
joe rogan
You know what's really crazy about him?
He still does the same thing.
He's really a martial artist.
He comes to Austin all the time to train with John Donaher and Gordon Ryan all the time.
He's here all the time.
I see him, like, every couple months.
He comes down to train, and then he'll go somewhere else to train, and he'll go somewhere else to train.
No desire to fight.
He doesn't want to fight anymore at all.
He's just a martial artist.
He's so happy and content.
He's like the best example of a guy who retired with millions in the bank and is living his best life.
He's a real martial artist.
joey diaz
He really is.
joe rogan
He just wants to learn and grow.
Why would he come here and train with Gordon Ryan?
Why would he train with that fucking animal if you're not actually thinking about competing?
But for him, it's just all about growing.
It's all about growing and this martial arts journey that he's on for his whole life.
It's really amazing.
It's very cool.
You know, when he would come to 10th Planet Jiu Jitsu and he would learn stuff from Eddie, too.
He came down to learn a turning sidekick from me.
Like, he just wants to learn from everybody.
He wants to learn everything.
He's always constantly seeking out.
joey diaz
Very smart.
Yeah. Very smart.
joe rogan
Very smart.
joey diaz
Very smart.
joe rogan
And you'll see him.
He's in all these different gyms.
You see him.
Oh, look, he's in Thailand.
He's working with Muay Thai guys.
He's over here.
He's over there.
He's just enjoying his life and training martial arts all over the world.
It's incredible.
Incredible. It's beautiful.
Because the saddest thing for me is when a fighter stops fighting and they lose their identity.
George has never lost his identity.
He hasn't gone through some weird phase where he doesn't know what to do with himself.
joey diaz
I am not impressed with your performance.
That was one of the funniest things I've ever heard in my life.
joe rogan
Yeah, that became like a meme before memes.
joey diaz
I was not impressed with your performance.
joe rogan
Nicest fucking guy in the world.
And really smart, man.
Really interested in all kinds of shit.
Always reading stuff and fascinated by things.
Just a guy, just a curious guy who wants to learn and he's just going through his life just having a good time now.
He doesn't have to think about...
Business. You know?
It's just training.
It's kind of fucking awesome.
joey diaz
It's awesome.
It really is awesome.
joe rogan
It really is.
Because, like, with no goal in mind other than growth.
Other than growth and getting better.
And he's still rolling hard, man.
I'm watching him roll with these guys.
He's rolling with assassins.
You know?
He's still doing jiu-jitsu with, like, top flight black belts, man.
joey diaz
Would you ever consider going back to Taekwondo?
joe rogan
No. No.
joey diaz
Just going to a school once a week and just going in there with a bunch of guys and throwing some kicks and shit.
joe rogan
I work out on my own.
joey diaz
No, no, you're not feeling me.
joe rogan
What do you mean?
joey diaz
Anybody can work out on their own.
Could you imagine now?
I've been thinking about it.
There's a purple belt at my jiu-jitsu school.
He's 68. Oh, wow.
He came from a fucking Shotokan karate background.
And he goes, I teach in the Bronx every Wednesday night.
He goes, this was my school.
I sold it.
But I still go up there on Wednesdays.
Come with me sometime.
I'm like, how cool would that be?
joe rogan
That would be cool to take a class.
unidentified
That's what I'm saying.
joey diaz
One time a week.
joe rogan
As long as you didn't have to spar.
joey diaz
No, no, no, no.
But you do those, you know, like when you do Taekwondo, they have those...
joe rogan
One steps.
joey diaz
One steps, like those little...
Those who sheik day run, I think they call, where I throw a punch.
Yeah, it's drilled.
And that's what you need.
You're not going to fucking...
You're not going to fucking spar and go crazy, but...
joe rogan
Drills are really important.
They're really important and people don't like to do them because sparring is so fun.
Same with jiu-jitsu.
Eddie Bravo always used to say that.
Drills are terrible.
They're so boring.
But if you can do them, it'll make your jiu-jitsu way better.
The biggest leap that I ever got in the beginning of my jiu-jitsu journey was when I became friends with Eddie.
We would train in my garage.
I had mats in my garage.
And we would just...
Drill for like an hour and a half, a couple times a week.
unidentified
What would you drill?
joe rogan
He was showing me a lot of his rubber guard stuff, like the early stuff, but we would just drill different positions, how to escape certain positions.
How to finish from certain positions, what to be careful of, and then we just go through paths.
Like, path was, you know, pass into half guard, push on the knee, move into side control, side control, head and arm, secure the arm, finish the arm triangle, and what we'd do is, like, if he was doing it to me, I would resist, like, 40%, maybe.
You know, you just kind of, like, sort of resist, and they secure it, and you kind of resist, and they finish it off.
So it's, like, basically, you're just, you're doing it as if...
You're doing the same pathway with the same things that a person would do to resist, but then they're not trying to really stop you.
They want you to tap them.
This is the idea of the drill.
So I'll get my hand in, but it's just so that you can push my hand down and then lock it over.
joey diaz
Well, that's big now.
joe rogan
Drilling is everything.
joey diaz
People are flow rolling.
People are selling it more.
Even Tom DeBlas is like, dog, listen.
joe rogan
It's a way to get better.
It's really the way to get better.
joey diaz
But the problem is you gotta keep a motherfucker flowing.
And that's the problem, that after a while you're like...
And also the next thing you know it's not a flow no more.
joe rogan
Right, now you're going to try to catch each other.
joey diaz
And that's the problem.
It always starts off with a flow for a minute and a half, and then it goes off the fucking reservation.
joe rogan
That's always the same with kickboxing, sparring too.
When I was training at the Jet Center, there was this one dude that I used to love to train with.
He was an older guy.
So I was probably 26. Back then, 27 maybe.
And he was maybe closer to 35, 40. He had some fights.
He just liked to stay in shape.
And we would spar.
And he knew I was an actor or comedian or whatever.
I was on a TV show.
And I didn't want to get hit too much.
So we would spar.
We'd just...
Touch each other.
And I knew he wasn't going to try to knock me out.
But other guys, I knew, like, we're fighting.
Like, we're sparring.
This is a fight.
But with him, I knew it.
And I got so sharp because of that.
Because he and I would work out a couple times a week.
And I noticed, like, my timing and everything was, like, much sharper because I was going through those pathways and not tense.
You know, I was going through those pathways, so sharpening those lanes.
So, like, punch comes, slip, counter.
All these things were, like, flowing in my head because we weren't...
They're hurting each other.
But it's so hard for young guys to understand that.
To get better is to, like, be playful with it.
You want to, like, the Thai guys.
They just, because they fight every week.
When they spar, they don't hurt each other at all.
They touch.
And they laugh.
Like, oi!
Oi! They're, like, playing a little game with each other.
You ever seen Thai guys?
unidentified
Yeah, yeah.
joey diaz
They have a good time.
joe rogan
Like, you watch, like, one of the best things to watch is, like, two elite high-level...
Thai guys just spar with each other.
Just spar playful light.
Because they're joking around and laughing and they're touching each other.
But they're really working on that timing.
They're really working on those moves.
Working on seeing what's coming, how to stop it, how to get in on them.
But they're not hurting each other at all.
joey diaz
You know, it's weird that I'm older and I love doing crazy shit.
Like, I love it.
I don't have much in the daytime no more.
So I'll try to catch a boxing class or jiu-jitsu and all that shit.
And jiu-jitsu is the toughest one for me.
Like, I haven't been to jiu-jitsu since November because I've been sick.
You know, I had a bunch of problems.
And I was on antibiotics.
I was having a hard time fucking breathing.
But I can't wait to go back.
But now I'm going to go back and do it a little bit differently.
joe rogan
Flow. Flow.
joey diaz
A lot more flow.
And there's one guy that'll flow with me.
He's a cop.
And drilling more.
Yeah. If you have a blue belt class, it's basically a lot of drilling.
unidentified
That's great.
joey diaz
You fucking burn a lot of calories in there.
joe rogan
Drilling is so important.
joey diaz
But you have to go, in the daytime, they roll a little bit more.
At night, the classes are so shut that you don't have time to roll that long.
Right. So I would rather drill a long time and then roll once and get the fuck out of it.
Yeah. That's perfect for me.
You know, so, and even with boxing, I don't, when I go box, I don't fucking...
Go crazy.
I hit the speed bag a little bit.
Two rounds, and I hit the bag that moves around.
That burns a ton of calories.
Then I hit the hard bag, and I'm out of there.
Seven, eight, three-minute rounds, and I'm good.
joe rogan
You know what I like to do?
I like to put on the Wu-Tang Clan and just fuck that heavy bag up.
joey diaz
I love it.
I love the earphones.
I love all...
And I'll tell you what else I got into now that I'm older.
What? Because when I went to that hospital, it taught me a lot, Joe.
It reminded me that I wasn't a kid no more.
Like, we fuck around, and we have a good time, and we think we're bad motherfuckers, but...
joe rogan
You want to stay healthy?
joey diaz
Yeah. Ever since I come out of the hospital a month ago, everything's fucking changed.
joe rogan
Come out of here, Joey.
Get you on that Ways to Well.
joey diaz
I think we're going tomorrow.
joe rogan
Come on, we're going tomorrow.
joey diaz
Are you busy tomorrow?
joe rogan
If you're here, I'm not busy.
joey diaz
All right, let's go.
I like that blood thing they did.
joe rogan
Yes. What's that called?
Did you get an IV bag?
joey diaz
No, it was a little one.
It wasn't a big IV.
joe rogan
So you're talking about a stem cell push?
joey diaz
Push, yeah.
joe rogan
Yeah, IV stem cells, yeah.
I just got that Tuesday.
I brought Rich Voss in.
joey diaz
How was he?
joe rogan
He was great.
I love that guy to death.
joey diaz
I love him, too.
joe rogan
We had a good time.
We had a good time at the club, too.
joey diaz
I see him a lot.
I see him every Wednesday.
joe rogan
Well, he's Jersey, too, right?
joey diaz
Yeah, every Wednesday we meet up and do a show.
joe rogan
He's a sweetheart.
I love him to death.
So he's been having a problem with his rotator cuff.
So I brought him down to Brigham.
Brigham's got this crazy thing.
I'm going to show you this, Jamie, because it's fucking bananas.
He's got this crazy thing where he's got an AI that you ask questions to.
Have you seen it, Jamie?
It's fucking nuts, right?
unidentified
Oh, yeah.
Hey, can you tell me the history of testosterone and prostate cancer?
joe rogan
Here, I'll send this to you, Jamie.
So Brigham has this new, beautiful facility where Waste Well is.
It's a great view.
joey diaz
Oh, they moved?
joe rogan
They moved.
They have a new facility.
Okay. They bought a building and re-renovated it, and it's incredible.
But one of the things they have is this big screen with this alien.
And you touch the alien and ask it a question, and it uses AI.
Like, so it has an AI, a large language model base.
Press, listen to this.
Press it.
brigham buhler
Hey, can you tell me the history of testosterone and prostate cancer?
unidentified
My doctor said he's worried it's going to cause prostate cancer.
joey diaz
What do you have to say?
joe rogan
So the alien, like, thinks about it.
unidentified
The concern stems from a 1941 study by Huggins that suggested testosterone fueled prostate cancer, but this has been thoroughly debunked by modern research, particularly by Dr. Abraham Morgenthaler.
Current evidence shows no causal relationship between testosterone therapy and prostate cancer development.
In fact, many men with prostate cancer have low testosterone levels.
The outdated theory misunderstood how testosterone interacts with prostate tissue.
And numerous studies now show properly monitored testosterone therapy is safe for most men, even those with a history of prostate cancer in some cases.
joe rogan
Isn't that wild?
joey diaz
That's amazing.
That's the future.
joe rogan
It can answer any question.
It could analyze your blood work.
You could tell it, hey, you know, my vitamin B12 level is this.
My testosterone level is that.
What would you suggest I take?
What I suggest is a protocol of, and it would just like rattle off things that you need.
You need some niacin in your system.
Do you take magnesium before you go to bed?
How much REM sleep are you getting per night?
Are you monitoring that?
And they start talking to you.
Isn't that crazy?
It's an app, too.
It's on your phone.
joey diaz
What were these people talking about last night at the club?
They go on ChatGPT or some shit?
joe rogan
You don't know what that is?
unidentified
No. ChatGPT is AI.
joe rogan
It's on your phone.
You can ask it a question.
Give me a good question.
joey diaz
Who was the composer of Suwannee River?
joe rogan
Who was the composer of Suwannee River?
So you see how my phone has all those rainbows on the outside like that?
That means it's searching for the answer.
And boom.
Gives me the answer.
Can you go on ChatDPT and tell me more about Stephen Foster, the composer of Suwannee River?
Bam. And then it goes on ChatGPT.
I'm an AI design assistant.
Feel free to ask anything.
What Disney movies are the most racist?
Working with ChatGPT right now.
It hung up on me.
joey diaz
The reason why I asked...
unidentified
ChatGPT told me to go fuck myself.
joe rogan
It disconnected.
joey diaz
One of the greatest episodes.
You were talking to me a couple weeks ago.
We were talking about you watched the Gleason interview on 60 Minutes.
joe rogan
Yes, yes.
joey diaz
You know I watch The Honeymooners every Saturday.
joe rogan
Do you really?
joey diaz
Every Saturday at midnight.
I don't have time for anything else.
I got to be home by midnight on Saturdays, okay?
And the reason why I said Suwannee River to you is that is one of the best episodes that Gleason ever did.
He was going on the...
$95,000 question.
And you have to go up levels?
Yeah. And they ask you questions.
He picked music.
So he had his buddy, Norton, get all the sheet music and Norton would play music for him and go, who is this?
And he would have to say, and then the Italian lady, Miss Manicotti, would come down.
It was a great episode.
But there's one scene where Norton would play and he'd go, Norton, why the fuck do you...
joe rogan
Here it is.
joey diaz
Why the fuck do you play this?
Watch this.
unidentified
Come on!
Look at me!
joe rogan
This is my last night to brush up on the songs.
unidentified
Now let's not waste any time.
Get going.
all right
Will you wait a minute, please?
Why must you always play da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da before you go in and play the song I'm trying to guess?
If I told you once, I told you a hundred times.
It's the only way I can warm up before I play the piano.
A pitcher warms up before he pitches a ball game?
I gotta warm up that way before I play the piano.
I hope I don't have to tell you this again.
Are you ready?
joe rogan
Go ahead and play.
unidentified
Go ahead and play.
joey diaz
Alright, now go to the end so Joe can see it.
So he goes...
unidentified
Time's running out.
Hurry up.
You better take a guess.
joey diaz
No, play the song for him so he sees.
unidentified
Look at his face,
bro. That's right, Swanee River.
Can we have a few bars at Swanee River, Jose?
That's Swanee River?
That's right.
Now, who's the composer?
Your time's running out.
Hurry up, you better take a guess.
Hamala, hamala, hamala.
Hamala, hamala.
Ed Norton?
Oh, I'm terribly sorry, Mr. Cramden.
No, the correct answer is Stephen Foster.
But thanks so much.
You've been a wonderful contestant and a swell sport.
Goodbye, Mr. Cramden.
His fucking face, dog.
joe rogan
The 60-minute interview was great, wasn't it?
joey diaz
It blew me the fuck away.
joe rogan
It was great.
Just listening to him talk.
That was when he was just playing golf and drinking.
He had that crazy golf cart that he would drive around in.
joey diaz
What's the book I read where he taught Richard Pryor how to smoke pot, like how to hide it?
They did a movie, The Toy, right?
Didn't they do The Toy?
joe rogan
He taught him how to hide it?
joey diaz
Yeah, because Richard Pryor lit a joint up one day, and he's like, what are you doing?
Come on, you gotta have some class.
joe rogan
How do you hide it?
joey diaz
You know, under your hand.
Oh. Mix it with the cigar.
He thought Richard was smoking it out, and Jackie Gleason goes, what are you doing, man?
Come on.
Nice. Smoke it like this.
Richard Pryor's like, this motherfucker taught me how to smoke a joint.
joe rogan
So he would tuck it away.
joey diaz
And he was 20 years older.
You know, Jack Gleason was a fucking beast, man.
That guy partied.
joe rogan
He did a lot of partying.
He died fairly young, you know.
joey diaz
How old was he?
joe rogan
I want to say close to 60. I think it was a couple different kinds of cancer.
How old was he when he died, Jamie?
unidentified
Yeah. Oh, was he?
joe rogan
Oh, he's 71?
Oh, that's not so bad.
joey diaz
No, that's still...
The National Eye was 74, right?
joe rogan
Yeah. I thought he died younger than that.
No. But yeah, hard living.
joey diaz
Hard living.
joe rogan
Yeah. Do you ever hear the story about him and Richard Nixon?
No. Richard Nixon and him were getting drunk one night, and Richard Nixon goes, you want to see some UFOs?
And so they get on Air Force One, and they fly to one of the Air Force bases where they have this fucking crashed UFO and alien bodies on ice.
Jackie Gleason apparently becomes obsessed with UFOs after this, has a house built in upstate New York that looks like a UFO.
His house was a flying saucer.
He had a house built that looked like a UFO.
And the story's unsubstantiated.
It's hard to know if it's true, but it was like his ex-wife told it in some magazine, right?
But it tracks.
It tracks with, if you believe these people that say that there was Some sort of a crash that they did recover, then they do have bodies.
So this is his fucking house.
He has a house built.
That's one image of it, but there's other images of what looks even more like a flying saucer.
Isn't that wild?
That kind of looks normal like a house there, though, but the guy built a flying saucer house.
Nixon and him got hammered.
I'm hoping that's gonna happen with me and Trump, but Trump doesn't get drunk.
You imagine you're hanging out with Trump and he's like, you want to see the UFO?
Can you keep a secret?
Yeah, there he is, hanging out with Nixon.
And they supposedly do have something that crashed and they supposedly do have biological entities that are on ice somewhere.
According to these whistleblowers that work for the government and now we're talking about, I just don't know what's real.
It's hard to know.
When you talk about it, you feel like a moron.
Because it's like...
joey diaz
There's got to be something out there.
We've got to assume there's something out there.
Whether or not...
I don't even know.
joe rogan
Right, but should we assume that something's been here?
Yeah. Yeah.
I think so.
joey diaz
Yeah, they've been here.
joe rogan
Well, I would come here if I was from somewhere else.
Imagine if you're from some super advanced civilization that's completely...
Abandoned war.
There's no thievery.
Everybody reads everybody's minds.
There's no unfairness because they've worked all that stuff out.
And it's just superior intellect because everybody's evolved for a million years past where we are now.
And you get the opportunity to see what a breakthrough civilization looks like right when they're figuring out nuclear power, right when they're figuring out flight and war and cell phones and shit like that.
That would be like you and I going back and going and visiting the real Wild West.
Like being in a gold mining town in 1830.
You know how nuts that would be?
You know how fucking crazy.
Be one of the minor 49ers in 1849 going all the way to San Francisco and these fucking animals stabbing each other in saloons.
You know what that would be like?
joey diaz
That's insane.
joe rogan
The kind of barbarians that took a chance with wooden wheels getting pulled by a horse and went across mountain ranges to try to get to the gold, that would be like us going to visit that.
Of course we would visit that.
Of course.
Like, if you had a chance to see what it would like to see Christopher Columbus land in the Bahamas, to see what that must have been like, of course you would want to see it.
If you could go literally back in time and see primitive humans, Well, if they're just like us, but they're like us millions of years from now, of course they would want to visit us.
It would be so interesting.
Can you imagine if there was a planet where we could go, where we could see cavemen?
joey diaz
We'd go.
joe rogan
Would you imagine?
joey diaz
Of course we would.
But it's...
joe rogan
Well, you can see guys making fucking arrowheads with flint for the first time and strapping them to sticks, giant fucking heads and big teeth, covered in hair, just figuring out tools.
Oh, my God.
We would be fascinated by those people.
joey diaz
The way I think about it is, listen, since I'm a kid, we're talking about Martians and aliens, right?
Since I'm fucking...
Yeah. Six, seven.
I've been hearing about this.
The moon landing was in 69, so I was six.
So it started after that.
Like, I heard more and more about it.
So what you mean to tell me is in 55 years we haven't found out more information about it?
We know.
We know what's going on.
We know.
NASA's not stupid.
They know something's out there.
They play with us a little bit from time to time.
But there's something out there, my friend.
joe rogan
I think so, too.
joey diaz
There's something out there.
joe rogan
I think the other problem with the president knowing...
You know, can they keep things from the president?
Of course they can.
The president is only there for four years.
And then he has to get in there again.
And if he wins, he's only there for four more years.
These fucking people have 30-year careers, 50-year careers in the intelligence agencies.
If they know something, and they've known something since, you know, fucking Gerald Ford, why would they tell you?
Why do you need to know?
We've already been hiding this from the population for so long.
joey diaz
And those old-timers didn't need a...
What's that when you have to sign something?
NDA? NDA, like N-A-D, whatever the fuck.
Yeah, there was no NDAs back then.
There was something to it.
Yeah. There was something to it.
You know, you got that place in New Mexico, you got Hudson County, what we discussed before, with the Martians landing.
You have all these places that have a higher volume.
I wonder what's number two in UFO sightings.
joe rogan
I wonder what's number one.
What's number one?
Is it Hudson Valley?
joey diaz
Yeah, Hudson Valley by the...
George Washington Bridge, that whole thing.
joe rogan
That's crazy.
joey diaz
That's number one.
I wonder what number two, number three, and number four is.
joe rogan
It's interesting that a lot of them are over near where the ocean is.
Because that's one of the big theories.
They have bases in the ocean.
Because the reality of the ocean is, no one's looking.
You know, if you have something on Earth, satellites can see it.
Like, if you have something that's in the middle of Nevada, in some deserted area, and you have buildings, satellites can see that.
They can see the structures.
So you have to hide them.
But if you have something in the ocean, nobody sees anything.
We've only explored...
What is the percentage of the ocean floor that we have explored?
I think it's like 10%.
I think it's somewhere around 10%, maybe 20%.
So that means that 80% of the ocean floor is undiscovered.
We have no idea what's down there.
You know, a mile, two miles deep in some spots.
If you're from a super sophisticated civilization that's millions of light years away and you can come here instantaneously and you have the ability to traverse in these what they call transmedium craft, which means they can go through air, go through water.
It creates a gravity bubble around it and go through everything.
That's what they think these things are doing.
That's what they can go 500 knots underwater.
Like nothing we have could do that.
If they have bases under the ocean, it makes sense that these sightings are all near the ocean.
It just totally makes sense.
joey diaz
A lot happens in the ocean.
That ocean's stronger than what you fucking think.
Yeah. I love going to a beach and just sitting on the beach and watching the ocean.
jamie vernon
Seabed 2030.
joe rogan
Seabed 2030, what they've mapped out?
jamie vernon
They've gotten 30% mapped.
They're trying to get the whole thing done by 2030.
joe rogan
Oh, really?
Oh, interesting.
Oh, what if they find a base?
Yeah. What if they get down there and they find bases?
What is all that stuff?
What are those lines?
jamie vernon
I'm guessing that's where they probably sent their drones, probably.
Whoa! It looks like a pool scrubber.
joe rogan
Oh, that's crazy!
joey diaz
Holy shit.
joe rogan
So they're scouring the ocean floor to try to get them out.
That's why the aliens are going to come out.
Wow, that's Hawaii.
jamie vernon
Whoa! Oh, that's not Hawaii.
Hawaii's over here.
joe rogan
It is?
What's that?
What are those islands in the middle?
Is that Catalina?
jamie vernon
Catalina and shit, yeah.
joe rogan
Oh, I see.
Oh, you were zoomed in.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, okay.
jamie vernon
I was trying to see what this stuff is.
joe rogan
Oh, I see.
jamie vernon
I think these little...
Light-colored brown spots are what's sticking up, and the rest of it's underneath.
joe rogan
Mmm. Wow.
joey diaz
I gotta pee real quick.
joe rogan
Go ahead, dog.
We'll pause.
Yeah. We'll be right back, folks.
Woo! And we're back.
What were we just talking about?
joey diaz
Aliens and whatnot.
joe rogan
And whatnot.
joey diaz
Yeah. You know, I feel that we know.
We're just not gonna...
You know, it's like everything else, man.
We know who shot Kennedy.
We're not gonna release it.
You know, we're gonna play with us.
That's what they do.
I think that they would be a...
I think even after all the alien talk and everything, I think Americans couldn't really handle it.
joe rogan
Well, there was actually a discussion.
This guy Hal Puthoff, who is a physicist that worked with the U.S. government, told me that during the Bush administration, they actually wanted to talk about the potential of disclosure to the American people, what would be the pros and the cons.
And so they listed what could be disrupted.
Well, the economy could be disrupted.
Religion could be disrupted.
Government could be disrupted.
What would be the positive aspects?
And they started looking at the positive aspects like scientific development, the understanding that we're not alone.
And then they weighed it all out.
And the cons outweighed the pros by a significant number.
And so they decided not to disclose it.
This is what Hal Puthoff says.
So he is a scientist that's worked with the government for decades.
And he, you know, I had dinner with him and Jacques Vallée.
Jacques Vallée is the guy who the character in Close Encounters of the Third Kind was based on, the French guy, the scientist.
Jacques Vallée has been studying UFOs since, like, I think the 50s.
Brilliant, brilliant guy.
He's written tons of books on the subject.
And the stories that he knows, that he's aware of, the historical stories, what really gets crazy is when they get into, like, the 1700s and the 1800s and the early 1900s.
They're the same stories.
People are seeing the same things.
The same kind of things are happening to these people.
The people that are encountering the crafts and encountering the beings.
They're reporting the same stories.
They're real similar.
To the point where you're like, what's going on?
And if it's real unique in like...
You know, I haven't seen UFO.
I haven't seen aliens.
You haven't.
Jamie hasn't.
But what if one of us did?
Like, if there's millions and millions and millions of people and one guy is fucking walking his dog in the middle of a field and all of a sudden this thing just lands right in front of him and no one's around.
And then these things get out and they look at you and they're talking to you with their mind.
And then they get back in their ship and they fucking...
Disappear. They zoom off so fast.
You can't even follow it with your eyes.
And then you're sitting there going, what the fuck do I tell anybody?
Who's going to believe me?
Who's going to believe this?
I should probably not tell anybody.
And then you're lying in bed at night and you're all freaked out because you can't believe you know something other people don't know.
You know the most incredible thing.
That not only are they real, but they can do things that we can't possibly do.
They cannot be us.
There's something different.
It's a different life form.
joey diaz
I think when they came here, maybe somebody painted them as green or whatever.
Me, I feel that if they're here, they walk around looking like us.
They're a more intelligent life source, like the movie Cocoon.
Right. That's in my mind.
I'm the type of guy I'll talk to you about.
joe rogan
Invasion of the Body Snatchers.
joey diaz
Yeah, Invasion of the Body Snatchers.
I'm the type of guy I'll talk to you about.
But just talking to you just now about.
Somebody, the government telling me that aliens exist, it would knock me down.
Because I know they do, but not really.
joe rogan
But not really.
joey diaz
I know they do, but not really.
And that's, I think, with everything.
So it would even shock me a little bit to find out.
But I think that, yeah, cocoon-type people.
joe rogan
Jacques Vallée is of that opinion, too.
What's interesting about him is he really maintains scientific credibility after all these years, despite...
Like studying UFOs back in the time where if you studied UFOs, you were a crackpot.
But... Everything he looked at was just based on logic.
This is what we know, and this is what we don't know.
This is what we can prove.
This is what we can't prove.
And we estimate that there's a certain percentage of these experiences, whether it's 5% or what, that are legitimate.
There's a great number.
The vast majority of things that people see in the sky are not UFOs.
joey diaz
No. But I guarantee we do see things that we think is something else, and it's a UFO.
Yeah. I could see that.
joe rogan
Oh, yeah.
People see the Saturn.
They think Saturn's a UFO.
People see things, too.
And then there's also a weird phenomenon that's real, like ball lightning.
Ball lightning is a type of lightning that juts around like a ball, like a giant softball of lightning just darting around the sky, and then it goes away.
And it's just a weird form of lightning that is...
It's been documented.
But if you saw that, if you were in the middle of, like, New Mexico by yourself camping and you saw that, you're like, fuck, man!
You think it's a fairy or something like that?
Oh my god, man, angels are back here on mushrooms.
unidentified
And you see ball lightning, you're like, what the fuck, man?
joe rogan
You're seeing traces behind the ball lightning.
You would 100% believe and feel like you came in contact with an angel.
You would believe and feel like something from another planet communicated with you.
You'd probably fill your head up with all this important shit that it told you that you have to tell people.
I've got to tell people, man, we're doing it all wrong.
We're all one, man.
We're all one.
We can't be fighting these wars.
It's so foolish, and they want us to know.
They want us to take care of Mother Earth.
Meanwhile, you just saw a ball lightning while you were on mushrooms.
joey diaz
You know, when I lived in Boulder, I got into a hole one time.
I was talking to some guy.
He was talking to me about mermaids.
joe rogan
Oh, God.
joey diaz
At a coffee shop.
And it drove me fucking crazy.
It drove me so crazy.
I didn't have a computer back then, but I actually had to go to the library, and I went down a hole.
And maybe 10 years ago, I went online one night and got high and was reading about mermaids.
Like, that's something I believed in.
joe rogan
The dumbest thing about mermaids is they have a fish from the waist down.
joey diaz
Right, but weren't they actually spotted in the 1800s somewhere?
Or is this a lie?
joe rogan
It don't even make any sense.
Like, fish don't have sex, you fucking idiot.
That means it's the most beautiful one in the world from the waist up, and all she do is give you blowjobs.
Because fish don't have sex.
That's okay.
joey diaz
That's not my problem.
I'm not looking to have sex with a chick.
joe rogan
But people are.
They want to fall in love with a mermaid.
But, like, that's the craziest person to fall in love with.
joey diaz
Is there any evidence?
No. Come on.
joe rogan
No, they're manatees.
These people saw manatees.
Probably their eyesight sucked, because they all had scurvy.
They were all fucking starving to death.
They all had syphilis.
Their faces are falling off.
These rotten scumbags that are on these boats together.
And then they're so horny that they want to fuck manatees.
They see manatees in the foggy water flopping around.
I swear it's a girl with a tail!
And they want to hop off.
They're like a guy in the desert that sees an oasis that's not there.
I see water!
And you're just trying to drink the sand.
That's what it is.
Come on.
joey diaz
There's got to be a mermaid out there.
joe rogan
So these horny scumbags.
From, like, Europe in the 1500s.
These monsters.
They were on this boat together for four months.
And they think they see women in the water.
joey diaz
Goddammit, you just ruined everything.
joe rogan
They were probably on opium.
They probably had syphilis.
They were drunk.
joey diaz
That's why you gotta love the 80s.
Animals. That's why you gotta love the 80s.
Because two guys actually went into the studio and go, look, we got a movie.
unidentified
About a fucking guy who falls in love with a mermaid.
joey diaz
And the guy's like, come on, how you gotta do that?
And all of a sudden, it's fucked.
Let me tell you something, that's another good movie.
joe rogan
You know, Joey, that's a good point.
This is one of the reasons why America became what it is, is that everybody who moved here initially took a crazy chance.
You ought to take a crazy chance.
You ought to get in a boat.
In the 1700s?
And make your way across the Atlantic Ocean?
You have no idea if storms are coming.
There's no fucking weather.com.
You don't even know what it looks like over here because they don't have pictures yet.
Someone's going to draw you.
This is what I saw when I visit Maryland.
joey diaz
I told you there's a fucking mermaid you fucked.
joe rogan
Look at that fucking fake thing.
jamie vernon
He sewed a fish bottom onto a monkey's body or something like that.
joe rogan
Oh, Jesus Christ, that's hilarious.
That's one of the reasons why America became so powerful.
The two things.
The Constitution, the Declaration of Independence, the Bill of Rights, like that stuff.
All the laws that gave you freedom of speech, the right to bear arms, the right to practice your own religion, all those things are incredible, but also the type of people that moved here.
Crazy, risk-taking motherfuckers that were willing to get their kids and get on a boat and make it across the country.
So everybody that came over here was just fucking gung-ho.
They're all wild folk.
Wild, dangerous people trying to get jobs on the East Coast.
That's still to this day why the East Coast is so crazy, so chaotic and so fun.
Because that was like the echoes of these pioneering monsters that travel their way across the ocean.
Crazy people, desperate for anything.
Europe just sucks so bad.
Like, we got to get the fuck out of here.
Whether it's from Spain or Ireland or where...
Boats, just boats.
Italians, boats.
And then they...
Make their way across the land and then, you know, cover the whole thing eventually.
And in a few hundred years.
It's a crazy story, man.
And we got to be careful of this place.
You can't sacrifice the things that made us so great in terms of our freedom just for political gain.
Because then we're going to give the whole thing away.
And we could go the same way Iran's going.
The same way they had a European-style country, and now it's a dictatorship, and now it's Islamic, and there's no getting out of that now without some crazy revolution, right?
It could go that way anywhere, man.
If there's people anywhere on Earth in 2025 living under the thumb of tyranny, there can be people here.
It's just a bunch of things have to go wrong.
We saw a few things go wrong during COVID that should have woke a lot of people up.
That the fabric of society is more fragile than you think it is.
And that's why the Founding Fathers are so wise.
They put into play protections to keep tyranny from taking over.
They had a bunch of checks and balances that you can't get through.
You don't have ultimate power like a king.
You have Congress.
You have the Senate.
You have the Supreme Court.
It's got to be like that.
You can't change that just because you want your side to win.
Everybody has to be aware of that.
Everybody gets short-sighted.
Democrats get short-sighted on this.
Republicans get short-sighted on this.
You can't have that happen.
It's not good for anybody.
It's not good for us.
If you think your opinions and your beliefs and what you know is more beneficial to the American people, state your case.
That should be the only thing we do.
These people should be able to state their case.
Explain how what you can do.
We should demand that.
And all that other shit.
Stop it.
Just get rid of it.
Get rid of all of it.
Get rid of all of it.
No one should be pro-crime.
No one should be letting people off the hook for violent crimes.
No one should be letting gang members live in some sanctuary city from another country that come over here just to cause havoc and create crime because we have weak policing and because we let them in.
No side should want that.
No side should want the country to be more dangerous.
And no side should want people deported to El Salvador prisons that aren't really gang members either.
No side should want no due process.
No side should want the ability of the government to, like, imagine, like, you're a person who's over here illegally, but you're not a criminal.
You're just a guy who doesn't have paperwork, and then they send you to a prison somewhere.
Someone decides, because of your tattoos, that you're in a gang.
So now all of a sudden you're in a prison in another country, and you haven't even been to trial.
We can't let that happen either.
You know?
joey diaz
Did you see that fucking prison where they took them, Nicaragua, whatever that place?
joe rogan
It's in El Salvador.
joey diaz
El Salvador, where they house them, 40 in the...
Bro, it's crazy.
That's fucking insane.
joe rogan
It's crazy.
joey diaz
That's insanity, brother.
joe rogan
And apparently they have unmarked graves.
You know, people die, they get strangled, whatever, take them to the back, unmarked grave.
You know, it's complete dehumanizing of people as an overcorrection to having too much crime and gang violence.
So, too much crime and gang violence, then you throw all due process out the window, round everybody up, throw them all in jail.
And if you're going to do that, a certain percentage of them are...
I mean, it's going to be effective.
You're definitely going to curb crime.
But you're also going to victimize a few innocent people, a certain percentage of innocent people, like undoubtedly, especially if you have a new due process.
joey diaz
Listen, man, we know that.
joe rogan
Like, this is...
This can't come to America.
And if we're sending our prisoners over there, how much different is that than the other stuff that we hate, like sending jobs overseas where people work for a dollar a day and don't get health care?
We would never allow that in America, right?
Well, we would never allow this kind of a prison in America either.
So should we really be involved in sending people to this kind of a prison if they're from another country?
It's an interesting question.
joey diaz
These are tons of interesting topics.
joe rogan
I think there is a bit of a problem, right, if you come from one country and then they put you in a prison in another one without a trial.
If they say you're a gang member and you're in MS-13, you come from Mexico, you make your way into America, and all of a sudden they put you in an El Salvador prison, you're like, yo, what happened here?
joey diaz
They took a lot of...
A handful of people that had weird tattoos and stuff like that.
joe rogan
That's what I've heard, but I don't really know the truth.
joey diaz
No, you don't know the truth.
joe rogan
Because, you know, they were saying that they keep talking about this guy in the mainstream media, saying he's a Maryland father, but then that Tom Homan guy says, no, he's a member of MS-13.
And so, okay, who's telling the truth?
And they were saying that if he got deported and came back into this country, again, illegally, we would round him up again and do it all over again.
We didn't make a mistake.
Okay. Well, who's telling the truth?
Is he just a man that's mistaken identity?
joey diaz
Where's his police record?
joe rogan
Yeah. Right.
joey diaz
Let me see his police record.
If the guy has a tattoo and he's got no police record and he's got a family and a wife and blah, blah.
It's like, remember when we used to take me for chicken?
joe rogan
Which place?
joey diaz
By your old house?
20 years ago, he used to always invite me for chicken.
joe rogan
Oh, chicks!
The Spanish guy.
Oh, how good was that place?
He had that wood-fired rotisserie.
Absolutely. Only cash.
No credit cards.
joey diaz
Yeah, no credit cards.
joe rogan
That's what killed him.
joey diaz
So think about this.
What if he had that for 20 years?
Great guy, because I always went up there with you and he was very nice to us.
joe rogan
Yes, great guy.
joey diaz
What if they came and got him because he didn't have a green card?
joe rogan
He was a legal citizen.
joey diaz
No, no, no.
But he was legal?
joe rogan
He was legal.
He was legal.
He was second generation.
joey diaz
Okay. There's people that came and, you know, they're here.
Before I send them back...
joe rogan
Actually, I think he was more than second generation.
joey diaz
Yeah, I want to make sure that this guy had roots in the community.
I'm not going to just put him on a fucking plane show.
joe rogan
Yeah, but I think what you got to do is just get rid of criminals only.
But the only way to know if someone's a criminal is to have due process.
joey diaz
But it's not over a fucking tattoo.
No. It's due process.
joe rogan
It's due process.
joey diaz
That's all I want.
joe rogan
Because there's a lot of kids get stupid tattoos.
Yeah. And then you have them for life.
joey diaz
That'll fucking know.
joe rogan
You know, when I went to Japan, I couldn't work out in the gym, in the hotel.
They made me go up to my room, put a long-sleeved shirt on because of my sleeves.
You can't have open tattoos and work out at, like, a nice place because it's connected to the Yakuza.
Yeah. So you have to follow their rules.
They demand that you follow the rules.
joey diaz
That's crazy.
Yeah. I can't throw somebody back in a fucking prison like that just because of a tattoo.
I got to see something.
I got to see something.
He did something to disrupt the system.
joe rogan
Yeah, see the thing is I don't know.
I really don't know.
I don't know the truth of these cases because you get a biased Take from one side, oftentimes, and then you get a biased take from the other side, and they're duking it out to shape reality for you.
joey diaz
Now, in 85, I lived in San Francisco.
And I teamed up with a bunch of Cubans.
I came in 79. The Mario boat lived.
And, you know, you went over there every day, and I had to buy the old guy, the guy that ran the corner.
I had to buy him a little bottle of rum, a half pint.
And he would let you operate your game, whatever your game was, selling weed, whatever.
But my point of the story is that I remember this specifically.
From the time I got there to the time I left, there was probably 80 Cubans on the block.
Maybe 20 of them got arrested.
In those days, you got arrested.
You got deported like the following week.
joe rogan
If you got arrested.
joey diaz
They put you in jail.
If you didn't have paperwork or you came in that Cuban thing.
They would take you, right?
Immigration would come get you within 72 fucking hours, and you'd be right back in Cuba, and Fidel would shoot you.
joe rogan
See, it's one thing if you arrest someone for a crime, and then you deport them.
I get that.
But it's another thing when you're rounding up people because you think they look suspicious.
Like, during the first Trump administration, there's this dude who was a contractor who was doing something for my house, and he was an army veteran.
I think he was in for 20-plus years and worked at a management position at a big construction firm.
So he had a prestigious job.
He was a legit guy.
So he's at Home Depot, and he's dressed nice.
Polo shirt on, nice slacks.
He looks like a guy who has money.
These ICE guys pull him over and demand that he show them their paperwork.
And he's like, What the fuck are you guys doing?
And he says that to them.
And then he pulls out his army ID and his driver's license.
He's like, you can't do this.
You can't just come up to people.
He goes, I'm a fucking American citizen.
He goes, I was born in America and I served my country for 25 years.
And you fucking idiots are just going to harass me in the parking lot because my family is of Spanish descent?
The fuck away from me.
And, you know, he was hot, and he came to the house right from there.
It was telling me about this.
I was like, God damn.
Because here this guy is like a gentleman businessman, like sweetheart of a guy.
Wonderful to talk to, great to do business with, have a conversation with him.
Great guy.
They just looked at him because he's brown.
Like, that's it.
There's no way you could make any other way you're going to point to that guy and think he's an illegal.
That guy's driving a brand new Silverado with a construction logo on the side of it.
Shiny, clean car.
Polo shirt.
Slacks. Clipboard in hand.
Fuck you.
That's what I'm worried about.
I'm not worried about guys that get arrested.
joey diaz
I was worried when they came to Jersey.
I didn't go out that week.
I didn't do much.
I'm a Diaz.
joe rogan
I'm glad they didn't deport you.
joey diaz
No, but you never, listen.
joe rogan
Right, but if you did get arrested for a crime, you probably now would say, yeah, you should get deported.
Like, if you did a violent crime.
Yeah. Yeah.
joey diaz
Take me back.
joe rogan
But there's a difference between getting arrested for a violent crime and just going to Home Depot because you're brown.
That's great.
That's crazy.
joey diaz
And on this hall, this ice hall, listen.
You're picking up I don't know how many thousands of people, correct?
How many people did they pick up on this show?
joe rogan
I do not know.
joey diaz
That they ship back.
joe rogan
I do not know.
joey diaz
Doug, you're gonna have a couple clerical errors.
Well, you're gonna have- Listen.
joe rogan
More than that.
joey diaz
Even the computer will pick them.
Yeah. You know, it's just a clerical error.
But there's also- Just be big enough to say we made a clerical error.
Don't keep saying that I know you're a gang man because you got a fucking tattoo on.
joe rogan
Well, the thing is like that we don't know what's correct, right?
But there's not just clerical errors.
If you don't have due process, you also have the potential for people to potentially falsely accuse someone on purpose just so they could arrest them because they don't like them or they have a bad business dealing with them or there's some reason why they want to send this motherfucker to show him to El Salvador.
People are crazy.
They do shit like that all the time.
If you're just rounding people up and this guy that you fucking hate happens to be from...
Nicaragua, and you just fucking sick the dogs on them?
Have you got a hotline when people can call and rat on people?
People are rats.
There's a lot of rats.
Especially if you just have a wild number that you can call.
Wild number to turn people in.
Remember during COVID?
Like, they were giving people rewards for turning people in for having parties in LA.
And the mayor was saying, normally snitches get stitches, but now they get rewards.
Do you remember that?
joey diaz
Yeah, I do.
joe rogan
That retarded mayor that they had in L.A. during the entire time?
I don't even remember.
He was such a fucking...
joey diaz
Los Angelinos.
unidentified
Oh, such...
joey diaz
Wasn't that guy?
joe rogan
Yeah. My favorite thing was when Black Lives Matter protested in front of his house.
Like, you're never woken up, bitch.
joey diaz
Well, this is my problem.
This guy.
joe rogan
Well, yeah, that guy.
What the fuck is his name?
Garcetti. Oh, God.
What a tool.
unidentified
Slash business violation.
joe rogan
Does he say the snitches usually get snitches?
Say it at the beginning.
jamie vernon
I don't know where he says it.
joe rogan
I think it's at the beginning.
unidentified
Make sure that everybody continues to let us know where those folks are.
If you've observed recurring violations of the Safer at Home order, please continue to let us know at coronavirus.lacity.org slash business violation.
You know the old expression about snitches.
Well, in this case, snitches get...
We want to thank you for turning folks in and making sure we are all safe.
joe rogan
You should go to jail for saying that.
joey diaz
I'm going to explain something.
joe rogan
You fucking monster.
joey diaz
Due process has been my problem since all this shit started.
And it started with even the cancer culture.
Okay? Due process.
You've got to come at me and let me know everything.
Just because you opened up your mouth and said that 22 years ago at a party, I kissed you, I tried to kiss you, that ain't good enough.
That just ain't good enough.
Well, I went home and called my girlfriend, Diane.
We'll get her on the fucking stand, too.
But I believe in due process.
I'll do whatever time you want me to do, prove that I did it.
Just don't open up your fucking mouth.
joe rogan
Absolutely. But when you have something like, I'm asking for you to turn people in, for anything, people are going to go nutty and start ratting on people.
That's just what they do.
You can't get away from that.
Snitches get rewards.
Like, if you have that, For immigration, you got a real problem.
You got a real problem.
Because there's legit scumbag racists out there that'll find people and start targeting them.
People SWAT people all the time.
You know what that is?
They fucking call 911 and say someone's being held hostage at Joey Diaz's house at gunpoint.
And then the SWAT team shows up.
And you might not know what's going on, so you might pull out a fucking gun and get shot.
joey diaz
Yeah, I've heard of that.
Where college students are doing it?
joe rogan
People are doing it all the time.
It happens.
There was a bunch of conservative online people that were getting swatted recently.
It's wild shit, dude.
You know, you give people this ability with social media or even more so if you, like, anonymously tip people that people are immigrants here illegally.
Like, boy, that's going to be a problem if that ever happens.
joey diaz
And that could just be...
A woman who owns a fucking fruit stand and a Mexican owns a fruit stand down the corner.
And she could just call and go, listen, this guy's illegal.
joe rogan
There's people that are excited that people are getting deported.
Like, be fucking careful.
Be careful what you wish for.
You don't want more people searching for people to lock up.
And then, here's the thing, like any other business.
Once you start getting numbers, you don't want those numbers to drop off.
You don't want the job to go away.
You know, you got a quota.
Right? If you've got a quota, I don't know if there is a quota, but if there's a quota for how many immigrants we're going to send back, you've got to have a problem.
Because now you've made it a game, and now I'm trying to score points.
And if Joey gets 30 guys, I want to get 50 guys.
Fuck Joey.
Yeah, I got 50. I think a few of them might not be guilty, but fuck it, who cares?
joey diaz
I'm getting a Cadillac!
I hit the bonus.
joe rogan
Yeah, fuck them, they should all go back anyway.
Agreed. Agreed.
Yeah. There's a lot of fucking idiots in this world.
There's a lot of people that they're short-sighted.
And by giving, if there is, I'm not saying there is a quota, but if there is a quota, you're giving people a game to play now.
You don't want to play games with people.
joey diaz
Well, I think even on ticket quotas, there's a percentage that they know they're going to get beat on it.
joe rogan
Like, yeah.
joey diaz
If I give you ten tickets, eight of them are going to be good.
Two of them are going to be, he's going to come up with an attorney and fight this.
The wind was blowing and, you know.
joe rogan
I always said that, like, what would they do?
See, this is a problem with the government that they're exposed with this Department of Government Efficiency.
And I had heard about this before from my friends that are in the military, that, like, if you get a budget for the year, if you don't spend all of that money, your budget's going to be reduced next year.
You don't want that to happen.
So you spend money wildly, completely inefficiently.
And I think that's part of the problem that we're facing here.
It's like they don't want to lose out on any of this money.
They've been getting this money this way for so long.
joey diaz
You're right.
If they don't use it, that's right, the budget goes down.
joe rogan
Yeah, the budget goes down.
joey diaz
They call that something.
What is it called?
joe rogan
Bullshit. I don't know.
What is it called?
What is it called?
I had a point, but I forgot what my point is.
But it's just that, you know, we're in a weird time here where...
People are arguing about whether or not we should abandon core principles that made this country great.
Like, very intelligent, liberal people with degrees are talking about the First Amendment should have restrictions.
Like, no.
No, no, no, no.
You don't get to decide.
You don't get to decide.
Because without free speech, I don't know who's right.
And I can't just go on narratives.
That's how religions work.
That's how cults work.
They make you go on a very specific narrative and you can't go outside the lines.
If you want the human race to evolve, if you want people to evolve culturally, if you want people to communicate better, they've got to be able to say whatever they want.
And then you decide if you want to communicate with people that speak differently than you.
And if you think that they have an egregious position, you're allowed to say something about it.
And you talk about it.
And everybody has to figure out who's right and who's wrong.
And unless that's able to go on, you're never going to get to the truth.
And if you just cut that off for things that you find offensive.
The problem is maybe I don't find it offensive and you can't decide what I can take in and not take in.
You're not allowed to because I don't know you and you don't know me.
This is nonsense.
You got to give human beings the ability to discern for themselves.
The only way for them to truly do that is they got to be able to communicate openly.
And they were trying to stop that during the Biden administration.
They were putting the fucking brakes on all kinds of shit that people are allowed to talk to.
unidentified
And everybody's like, yeah, we gotta stop this information.
joe rogan
Like, you're signing your own fucking death warrant.
You don't even know it.
You're giving away the only thing that we have left.
joey diaz
I'm taking a vitamin.
It's called CardioNad.
I'm taking something else.
That's called, like, colon.
They gave it to me after my lung thing.
And my lung feels a lot better.
You know what the doctor told me when he told me to take the one supplement?
What? They took it off the market during COVID.
joe rogan
Why'd they do that?
joey diaz
Because it's such a great lung supplement.
I feel a lot better since I've been on it for five weeks.
They took this off the internet and everything.
They shut down their website for three years.
joe rogan
Oh, my God.
That sounds so crazy.
If you had said this to me before COVID, I would be like, Joey's crazy.
Stop talking like that, man.
I was so pro-pharmaceutical drugs back then, like as the cure-all to everything in modern medicine.
Vaccinations are so important.
COVID woke me the fuck up.
When I found out that they were trying to stop doctors and take away their licenses if they prescribed ivermectin.
Take away your license.
If you just prescribe off-label a drug that people say is beneficial in certain trials, but you're, for some reason, you're not allowed to do it.
For the first time ever, doctors are prohibited from prescribing something off-label that has no negative side effects.
It's never happened before.
Never happened before where there's a public psyop where they're trying to pretend that it's horse dewormer so nobody will take it.
It's bizarre.
And they did it right in front of our face.
And they just did it for money.
And the fucking media went along with it.
And so did the liberals.
The liberals went along with it.
And they parroted out everything they say.
Safe and effective.
It saved millions of lives.
People are dropping like flies to the left and the right of them.
People are stroking out on the subway.
And everyone's pretending that nothing's wrong.
Everyone's pretending this increase in all-cause mortality isn't crazy.
That's not weird.
It's not weird that cancer is on a skyrocketing rate.
That's not weird to you.
Everyone's pretending.
And if you bring it up, you're a kook.
They tricked everybody into being the cop.
Everybody is calling that Garcetti hotline.
Everybody's a little rat.
They're all little rats.
They're little rats working for the man, and they'll rat on each other.
And then if something happens to them because of it, they keep their mouth shut because they don't want to hear it.
So they do the work of the man for the man because they're suckers.
Isn't that wild?
And that, what we're talking about, is the problem with this disclosure of aliens.
Those people are going to fall apart.
The people that fell apart in COVID?
Oh, Jesus.
They're going to be wearing silver jumpsuits and sucking alien dicks the moment those guys arrive.
They will jump on Team Alien.
They'll be rounding up people and using us for slaves.
They'll do whatever the aliens ask.
They'll be like vampire familiars.
Remember those?
Where there was like a guy who wasn't a vampire but wanted to be one, so he'd do anything the vampire asked?
That's what those fuckfaces would do.
All the people that got nine boosters, all those morons, they'll be like on team alien 100%.
It is imperative that the human race perish.
It's imperative.
We're a blight on the world.
And the Anunnaki are going to help us.
Those fucking idiots, they'll sell us right down a river.
joey diaz
It's crazy what's going on in the world today, my friend.
joe rogan
It is, but there's...
It always has to be crazy, so we realize it's crazy, so people snap out of it.
Like, this is a part of society.
It's like, there's not a linear path to success.
What happens with societies is, things go really well, and then they go terrible, and you either adjust or you don't.
And if you don't, the civilization dies, and then a new one emerges.
But if you do, then you recover.
And it's like, how many times can you do that?
How long can you keep this fucking thing going on?
Because you're gonna have, like...
Great prosperity, which makes soft people.
You know, hard times makes hard men.
Hard men make soft times.
Soft times make soft men.
Soft men make hard times.
And everybody knows that.
That's what it is.
It's just a matter of recognizing that it's happening so you're course-correct.
Which is why everybody's leaving California, because they're not course-correcting.
They're going into madness, and they're like, no, we're progressive.
And they're like, no, no, no, you're going into the rocks.
No, no, no, the rocks protect us.
No, you're going to die.
You're going to hit the rocks.
It's going to be over.
Just like there's no more Rome, there's going to be no more L.A. Like, you fucking morons, right?
The world is littered with civilizations that lost their way.
You can go and find the ruins everywhere.
You know, they're gone.
They went away.
That's how it happens stupid and you're doing it right now and We recognize that or we don't and if we don't it's not good But I think we will I think we have a different you know a different Way of communicating now because people can talk so much online You're going to get a lot of stupid shit online.
You get a lot of dumb things online.
But you're also going to get a lot of conversations that make you think, that make you go,"That actually makes sense." Like, why are we assuming that the way we're doing it so far and the way we've been doing it is the only way to do it?
What is wrong with this system?
How do we get the money out of it?
How do we get money out of politics?
How do we get the number one corrupting factor out of figuring out what's best for all of us?
How do we do that?
joey diaz
Smoke weed.
joe rogan
Eat mushrooms.
Talk to aliens.
joey diaz
That's it.
I don't get involved in none of that shit.
It doesn't bother me.
joe rogan
I do sometimes when I think about it because I go down roads.
I don't want to think about it.
I want to just enjoy my life.
joey diaz
I'm scared for my daughter in the future.
Everything else, I got to fucking take a chance every goddamn day.
You know what I'm saying?
joe rogan
Yes. Well, that's also one of the benefits of a society with children.
A society with children wants to make sure that the future is safe.
A society of people without children making rules don't give a fuck about kids.
And some people are actually openly disdainful of children, and then they get into positions of government and power.
That's not good.
I think something happens to you when you have children that I think is an important biological, sort of spiritual...
Developmental cycle.
There's something that happens to you when you realize this little person you love more than life itself and you're taking care of them now and then you want the world to be a better place.
And then you start thinking, oh, all these people around me used to be babies.
We're all on this weird journey and maybe we could all be a little nicer to each other.
You know?
If that doesn't happen to you and you don't have kids, you don't have something that you love more than life itself, you know, it's a different...
That's a different kind of thing.
And if you want power when you're that person, that's a different kind of thing, too.
And especially if you're into war, if you're a war hawk and you don't have any kids, like, Jesus Christ, you're willing to send other people's kids overseas to die for some nonsense?
And you don't even know what that is like?
That's kind of crazy.
So we're in a society right now where we have a population, except for Elon, we have a population decline.
People aren't having as much babies as they used to.
It just doesn't seem like it because there's so many people.
But it's like when they look at the numbers for the future, we're in a kind of a weird population collapse thing.
Like Japan is fucked.
Have you seen any of that stuff on Japan?
See if you can find anything on the Japanese population crisis.
They're having so few children in Japan that like in three generations they could be in real trouble.
Like the number of people that will have a grandchild.
Right now is significantly lower than it ever has been before.
joey diaz
Can I ask you a question?
Yeah. What the fuck's it got to do with me?
I don't give a fuck about the Japs.
What the fuck is wrong with you, Joe?
joe rogan
Well, I think about it with us.
Because I think about it with civilizations collapsing.
I think about it with what we've been talking about the whole day.
joey diaz
Yeah, but we don't have to worry about that.
joe rogan
I know, I know, I know.
We don't have to worry about it.
joey diaz
This is fucking too much.
unidentified
You're right, you're right.
joey diaz
This is the first podcast I'm done that I'm scared.
You know what I'm saying?
What the fuck is wrong with you?
joe rogan
You're right.
joey diaz
Enough with this shit.
joe rogan
You're right.
joey diaz
And politics enough.
joe rogan
I know.
joey diaz
COVID is over.
If you took the fucking needle, fuck you.
If you didn't, now they just found out the fucking, the flu shot don't work.
I could have told you that 25 fucking years ago.
joe rogan
Not only does it not work, it makes you 25% more likely to get the flu.
unidentified
Come on, man.
joey diaz
And I'm a GED type of fucking motherfucker, so knock it off.
I hate all this shit.
I'm scared.
You know what I'm saying?
The fuck?
joe rogan
I'm scared too.
joey diaz
Yeah, about Japanese.
Listen, man, that's what the problem is.
We're worrying about this is what the internet fucked us.
joe rogan
That's true.
joey diaz
This is why we have retards walking around believing everything because I forgot what I was going to tell you.
joe rogan
The internet fucked us.
joey diaz
The internet fucked us.
It's too much information.
It's like this.
I was in the hospital and I get on the fucking elevator and there's two, three doctors, you know, half a fags in my world, okay?
And they're like, oh my God, we can't wait till the Kennedy report comes out.
How is it going to make a difference in your world?
It's like these idiots with the Epstein list.
How is it going to make a difference in your world if Tom Hanks is on that list?
joe rogan
I'll tell you what.
joey diaz
Do you not have to go to work tomorrow?
Do you have to do all the same shit?
That shit doesn't matter to me.
unidentified
I don't give a fuck who's on the Epstein list.
joey diaz
I don't give a fuck who went to Diddy's house.
It's got nothing to do with me.
But in today's world, because of the internet, it makes us think it's got something to do with us.
It has nothing to do with me, man.
joe rogan
It's a show.
That's what it is.
joey diaz
What the fucking show?
I don't want to watch that show.
So now I've got to wait here 60 years.
We've been watching the same footage.
He got hit.
It clocked back.
You know, Lee Harvey out.
But now we want to really fuck with these fucking peanut nimble-headed dummies.
Well, I want to see what's on there.
Then two days later, the Jews did it.
Believe me.
Just worry about paying your fucking credit card bills, you fucking idiot.
That's what you should worry about.
Did you see what happened this year in this country?
Fucking millionaires are selling off fucking property to pay taxes to get capital.
Are you fucking kidding me?
And people are worried about the fucking Epstein list?
Like, how is it going to change your life who fucking Tom Hanks is fucking in the ass?
Who does it matter?
And do you really care?
At the end of the day, do you really care about that 16-year-old girl?
No, you don't.
So shut the fuck up!
Nobody cares.
It's just a fucking show.
joe rogan
It's a show.
unidentified
It's a show.
joey diaz
It's like I told you about LA.
joe rogan
But it's a compelling show.
joey diaz
What's that fucking show with the crazy stoner guy, Seth Rogen?
joe rogan
Oh, I haven't seen it.
joey diaz
The studio, okay?
Not a bad show.
Not a bad show at all.
But I was watching that show, and it let me realize what I hated.
Short, small talk.
That shit we were talking about before, where people just like, well, the other day a contractor came over.
I love this guy.
Came over to my house, going to do the garage.
And there was a moment of 10 minutes that it was him and his son and me and my wife.
And we're just standing there.
And it just takes one guy to go, all right, back to work, everybody.
Because if not, we'll sit there for three hours.
So how do we feel?
Great. How was your trip?
How was the hospital stay?
Listen, it doesn't fucking matter how my hospital stay was.
Get in your truck, get the fuck out of here, and I'll get the fuck out of here.
I go my way.
You know, my wife, I hate her around when people come over.
Because she always throw that curveball in.
Like, tell them to look at the room.
No, they don't need to look at the fucking room.
Leave them in the fucking garage.
If not, you're going to confuse these motherfuckers.
You've got to assume everybody is confused.
You go to a restaurant, you get something wrong.
Everybody is not cooking on fucking, you know.
It's something I've never seen before.
Every time I go somewhere, I'm like, how can they be that stupid?
How could they not do this?
You go to CVS.
Anywhere you go, it's like they're not even training people anymore.
They're not even training people anymore.
You know, you go to-- I went somewhere the other day.
I was at the mall.
My daughter was on-- I go to P.F. Chang's.
P.F. Chang's, those type of restaurants, they used to train people.
For two weeks, you don't get paid.
You're in there learning shit.
It's not like a regular restaurant where they, like, follow Joe Rogan around for a day and then fucking come back tomorrow and you're on your own.
Dog, nobody's fucking.
They don't know anything.
These young kids, they don't know anything.
joe rogan
Nothing. You know, a lot of them aren't even getting driver's licenses.
They just Uber everywhere.
The kids don't want to learn how to drive.
I don't want to learn how to drive.
They don't care.
joey diaz
My friend was telling me his son's got a license for two years.
He's home every night.
We got a license.
We left the house before we had the license.
joe rogan
We were driving to New Hampshire.
joey diaz
Yeah, we had the car before we had the fucking license.
Yeah. But listen, I had, you know, people, I went to a comedy show and a guy, a comedian, was talking about kids and I'm like, I'm not going to do that no more.
Because that's all of us.
We all talk about when I was fucking 40, when I was 28, you know, I did this and I did that.
But these kids today are different, and I've accepted it.
I've accepted it in my neighborhood.
When I went back, I was pissed for a few fucking months.
joe rogan
How come?
joey diaz
Because there's no kids playing.
There's kids all over my fucking street.
And my little cul-de-sac there, I got like eight fucking kids.
Mr. Softee comes.
We're the only ones out there.
Four in the afternoon.
Where the fucking kids?
joe rogan
Well, kids don't feel comfortable being unsupervised today.
You know, you hear too much about kids being abducted and weird things happening to kids.
It's not like they could free-range like when we were kids.
It's like that narrative's out there everywhere.
And then some neighborhoods just aren't fucking safe.
Your kid shouldn't be out.
joey diaz
Nah, there's a lot of safe neighborhoods where kids don't play.
Our neighborhood wasn't that safe, but in unity there is strength.
joe rogan
There's a real problem with video games.
Video games are so good, the kids don't want to go outside.
joey diaz
It's a fucking cell phone.
joe rogan
That too.
joey diaz
It's a cell phone and a computer, man.
joe rogan
That too.
joey diaz
It's so many things, but I don't have a problem with it no more.
That's what I'm trying to say to you.
It's who they are now.
It's who they are.
You know, I was reading something, and I just put this together.
It's the truth.
Remember a couple, maybe a year ago, they were talking about how low testosterone are in these people?
Yeah. Kids don't play no more.
joe rogan
Well, they don't play.
They don't go outside.
unidentified
They don't run.
joey diaz
They don't jump.
joe rogan
They don't jump, and then they're eating garbage.
joey diaz
So what do you think testosterone levels are going to be?
joe rogan
And they have plastic in their brain.
They said that they studied a bunch of people to see how much microplastic they had in their brain, and some people had as much as a plastic spoon.
What? Imagine that.
You have so many microplastics in your brain that if they extracted it all, you can make a plastic spoon.
So, of course, that's going to wreck your fucking testosterone, too.
And then I saw this thing about Call of Duty, some fucking insane statistic about the amount of time that in total that's been played in Call of Duty is like more than human civilization.
Like the amount of minutes that people have logged, like millions of people playing Call of Duty, is like, if you put it all together, it's longer than human civilization.
joey diaz
And I've never played a video game, Joe.
Good. Is that the craziest thing?
joe rogan
You'd love it.
Stay away from them.
joey diaz
They're crack.
joe rogan
They're crack.
joey diaz
I just never felt the need to sit there on a fucking computer.
And shoot at people.
I'd rather shoot at people for real.
I'd rather steal a car for real or roll a fucking drug dealer.
joe rogan
Well, it's definitely more fun to shoot at things for real, but video games are very fun.
These people playing them aren't morons.
They're fun.
They're really fun.
What is the amount of time spent?
jamie vernon
This goes back.
There's a Reddit post from 10 years ago actually repeating the exact same thing.
joe rogan
So 10 years ago it was that much?
jamie vernon
You could probably pick a video game though and say the same thing.
Right. Grand Theft Auto.
joe rogan
Right. Any really popular game, right?
Yeah. How about Subway Servers?
jamie vernon
25 billion hours played, but this was 10 years ago.
joe rogan
25 billion hours?
That's so crazy.
That's so crazy.
That's so many hours of people playing that fucking game 10 years ago.
jamie vernon
At the same time, so World of Warcraft has 6 billion years played?
6 million.
6 million.
joe rogan
Jesus Christ.
So six million, that's pre-civilization.
joey diaz
I was a model guy.
Weren't you a model guy?
joe rogan
Yeah, I used to make little Star Wars, Millennium Falcon models.
joey diaz
I love models.
joe rogan
Model cars.
joey diaz
I used to do all the superheroes.
joe rogan
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
joey diaz
With the brick wall and all that.
joe rogan
Remember when you could paint them?
joey diaz
Yeah, I used to paint them and the whole thing.
That was my, that's the only thing that kept me in when I was a kid.
joe rogan
That was fun.
joey diaz
Until one day my mom goes, stop painting those fucking things.
Get out of the fucking house.
joe rogan
How much paint fumes were we just...
Fucking get in our bodies, little kids.
And glue.
joey diaz
Oh, yeah.
Listen, everybody's got their problems.
These people talk about...
joe rogan
Rubber cement glue.
Remember that stuff?
unidentified
Oh, shit.
joe rogan
When you would crack it and you had the brush attached to the lid?
joey diaz
Oh, shit.
joe rogan
And you'd pull it out and the smell, you'd be like, woo!
And you'd tell your friends, smell this.
You'd all be smelling markers.
Everybody'd be sniffing markers and sniffing glue.
joey diaz
I was thinking of sniffing glue again, just to see how we feel now.
joe rogan
Probably not good.
I would imagine.
We have some smelling salts.
Should we wrap this up with a smelling salt?
Jamie, how many of those are fresh?
They're all stacked.
Is there any order to those, the way they're stacked?
That's the last freshie?
Chuck that baby this way.
joey diaz
You got one to go for me?
joe rogan
Yeah, of course.
joey diaz
I have one to go.
joe rogan
You really want to take it with you?
unidentified
Yeah, I've got one.
joe rogan
Okay, here we go.
Oh, this is fresh, fresh.
This one hasn't been opened yet.
Oh, you hear that?
jamie vernon
That means it's just melted back on or something.
joe rogan
Oh boy.
Whoa, this is a good one.
Here we go.
unidentified
Oh boy.
Wow. Yeah.
joe rogan
Them fresh ones.
Oh my goodness.
joey diaz
I gotta get the right side.
unidentified
Are we giving ourselves brain damage or what?
joe rogan
Hopefully. Let's find out about that.
What else were we finding out about?
We figured out the numbers.
Was there one other thing?
Yeah. Jesus.
These fresh ones are brutal.
Are we giving ourselves brain damage?
I need to know.
I can't afford any more brain damage.
joey diaz
I cleared my ears.
joe rogan
Yeah. Let's put a lid on that thing.
Keep it fresh.
joey diaz
Oh my god, Joe.
jamie vernon
Keep it fresh.
Overuse may damage nasal passages or lungs.
joe rogan
Oh. Well, that's not good.
joey diaz
What does it do?
joe rogan
What's overuse?
Overuse can damage nasal pads.
I don't think it's getting to my lungs.
joey diaz
Fuck you's both.
I got damaged nasal fucking pads already and lung hair and fucking...
unidentified
Bro, the inside of your nose is scarred over.
joe rogan
It's like a cauliflower ear.
joey diaz
Look at this.
That was a good whack.
joe rogan
That was a good one.
joey diaz
That was a very good whack.
That affected something.
joe rogan
Yeah, cleans you out.
I've never tried it before lifting weights, but that's what it's for.
That's what they do.
Those powerlifters.
joey diaz
What is this for strength lifters?
joe rogan
Yeah. The real powerlifter guys, they like to take a jolt of that shit right before they...
unidentified
What's the pros and cons of this shit?
joey diaz
Like, what are the long...
joe rogan
I don't think there's any pros.
It's all cons.
This is not good.
What we just did is not good.
joey diaz
The one we just did now is just to hire...
Strength of the stuff they used to put in your nose.
joe rogan
It smells just like it.
It's the same stuff.
It's smelling salts.
It's just a whole jar of them.
It's ammonia, right, Jamie?
joey diaz
Now, if you get knocked out, you put that under them, what happens?
joe rogan
They used to be able to do that to boxers in between rounds.
unidentified
Oh, my gosh.
joe rogan
They stopped allowing them to do it, you know?
Because I guess it'll wake you up if you got a concussion a little bit.
Just enough for you to get more of a concussion so Tommy Hearns can hit you again.
unidentified
Oh, my gosh.
joey diaz
And I got this fucking Loris, not Loris Fishburne.
Who's the other guy?
The guy I like a lot.
He's in The Godfather of Harlem.
jamie vernon
Forrest Whitaker.
joe rogan
Forrest Whitaker.
joey diaz
Forrest Whitaker eye now.
Oh. Did you see it?
joe rogan
No. What's going on with your eye?
joey diaz
I don't know.
It droopy?
It droops.
joe rogan
Only when you get high?
That's hilarious.
joey diaz
Yeah, right here.
Over this.
I gotta put like scotch tape over this.
joe rogan
Did you ever see Forrest Whitaker in The Color of Money?
joey diaz
Fucking tremendous.
He hustled Paul Newman.
joe rogan
He hustled Paul Newman.
It was beautiful.
joey diaz
He's fucking brilliant.
joe rogan
Can I ask you a question?
You think I need to lose weight?
joey diaz
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
joe rogan
He says that after he robs him.
He tricks him.
He pretends he sucks at pool.
And then slowly but surely, Paul Newman realizes he's getting hustled.
joey diaz
Sorry. I'll throw this away.
joe rogan
And there's a scene where he gets angry and he asks him, are you a hustler?
And he's like, you can quit if you want to quit.
That was a great scene.
I forgot about that.
It's one of the best scenes in the movie because that's really how it works.
jamie vernon
Just for your clarity, a doctor says this about smelling.
joe rogan
Oh, what does it say?
If you're stuck in a room that was filled with ammonia gas, you would get lung toxicity.
Potentially, you get airway injury.
You could potentially die.
But breathing this stuff in a few times over a few hours isn't really going to lead to any significant complications.
He added that the FDA warning is mostly a regulatory issue about misbranding and mislabeling.
Oh, okay.
So we have to worry.
There's no way we could worry because those power lifter guys, they've been doing it forever.
joey diaz
It's like that Hicks joke about, you know, when you smoke cigarettes, they're on the side of labels.
joe rogan
Oh, yeah.
Low birth weight.
unidentified
Low birth weight.
joey diaz
I can live with that.
joe rogan
Just pick the ones you like.
Yeah. Ironic that that guy got pancreatic cancer, and that's a side effect of cigarettes.
That's one of, I mean, you can't for sure say that that's what caused it, but that is one of the things that comes from that.
Renewed interest may have come after the appearance on the Joe Rogan Experience.
unidentified
Oops. Yeah, people are blasting themselves.
joey diaz
That's hilarious.
What's going on for Jersey?
Who's on that card, Kyla, against the Venezuelan?
joe rogan
Let's pull it up.
The main event is Sugar Sean O'Malley.
And Marab Dwavishwily, the rematch, which would be absolute fucking chaos.
Juliana Pena versus Kayla Harrison, who's the most jacked female that's not on steroids, walking the face of the earth.
Kayla Harrison is fucked.
I mean, she passes all her tests, but good lord, that lady's jacked.
Bruno Silva, Joshua Van.
This is like, they haven't made the full card yet.
Kelvin Gaslam, the fight with Joe Pfeiffer that was rescheduled.
Joe Pfeiffer got real sick in Mexico City.
So did...
Daniel Cormier, and so did John Anik.
They all got really sick in Mexico City.
joey diaz
Cheetos on that card.
joe rogan
Oh, let me see that.
Okay. Who is Cheeto fighting?
That Kelvin fight is a very good fight, by the way.
Kelvin and Joe Pfeiffer.
Joe Pfeiffer is a fucking terrifying dude.
Mario Bautista, that's a very good fight.
Mario Bautista is rock-solid, man.
That's a serious dude.
And Marlon is a monster, too, because that's a fucking very good fight.
Marlon's got the bigger name, but Mario Bautista is a fucking killer.
Great card, but it's not fully formed yet.
This is just a few fights.
Generally speaking, there's usually it's around 13 fights.
You know John and I were talking about that the other day like there's nothing like calling the UFC fights because you start You know if it's on in Vegas time you're starting the fights at 3 p.m.
And you're going all the way through to the pay-per-view You're doing like six hours plus of commentary and then you got to find times to run to pee Sometimes it's like I have to tell the truck I cannot pee.
Because I'm drinking Monster Energy drinks, and I'm taking nicotine pouches, and I'm fucking fired up, and I'm drinking a lot of water, too.
I'm drinking my hydrogen water, and I have to fucking pee so bad.
There's nothing worse when you're trying to form a sentence and you have to pee.
You can't think.
joey diaz
It has been brutal for me.
Brutal. When I eat mushrooms, I gotta pee every 20 fucking minutes.
Why? And if I'm in a car, I got to pull over and pee.
And I got to make sure I'm not in the sexual fucking territory.
unidentified
Like, I don't pee close to schools, churches, fucking parks.
joey diaz
Because then they throw you under the bus for sexual or whatever.
And you got to be careful.
But, dog, I'm in a world where some weeks are better than others.
I don't get up at night to pee, but in the daytime, especially if I work out and I start drinking that water and drinking that water, oh, baby, I got to start peeing.
And when I got sick, This was the beauty of it.
Every time I had to pee, I'd get anxiety.
I would get a panic attack.
I couldn't even make it to the bathroom to walk.
Really? I was peeing my pants on the way to the fucking bathroom, Joe.
You have no idea.
The last week of February, when I went to the hospital in March, that was possibly...
That Saturday night, my blood pressure was 212 over 100, and my oxygen level was at 86. And I wouldn't go to the hospital because I didn't want the ambulance coming to get me at 4 in the morning in front of my daughter.
So I waited till 8, and then I drove myself to the hospital.
It was fucked up, bro.
Wow. That was a fucked up couple months, man.
I didn't know what was going on.
joe rogan
And what did they determine it was?
joey diaz
It was a congenitive heart failure.
When you have fluid in your lungs, edema, whatever, I was retained.
I walk around.
Right now I'm 278.
I was 265 all summer because I was really happy.
Every day I would go, look, I could fight in the UFC.
When I walked into the hospital, I was 319.
joe rogan
Oh, you got big.
joey diaz
I got big in a month.
Oh. Like a month.
And I wasn't eating in the hospital, nothing.
joe rogan
Was it like Italian food?
joey diaz
No, I was just retaining water.
Edema's when you retain water.
joe rogan
Oh. That much water?
joey diaz
Oh my God, Joe.
And my lungs was getting the water, so I couldn't breathe.
And then when I would...
It went from me just having to stop.
Like if I would walk from here, I wouldn't make it to your bathroom.
Couldn't make it to your bathroom.
I'd have to stop in between and take like a five minute breath.
Meanwhile, holding my peeing.
joe rogan
Oh, Jesus.
joey diaz
And your fucking stress level's going up and up because you're holding your fucking peeing.
It got to the point I would walk into the shop where I get what I had to get, but now I got to stand there because I got to fucking pee from the walking.
joe rogan
Oh, no.
joey diaz
And the bathroom's a mile away.
There's no walking.
You just take your dick out and pee.
Oh, my God.
In those days, it wasn't even getting the container from the car because I started bringing the container in the car.
There was no time.
Oh, wow.
Yeah, man.
So as soon as I went in, they put me on these fucking things for three days, and I lost like 20 pounds.
Really? And then they did a nuclear blood test.
And they had to take out, I don't know, fucking six tubes of blood in 45 minutes.
And that's when they came back and they go, you got 65%.
You're overloaded on fluid in your body.
You're retaining that much water and your blood cells are off the charts.
So we got to start draining.
I started draining.
They were taking, I don't know how many tubes from here, every three hours of blood.
Wow. Look at my fucking arms.
They're fucking banged up.
A little fucking heroin junkie.
So when I got out, I started taking it.
Listen, when you end up in a hospital, there's a problem.
Okay? There's a problem.
You cut a stitch, that's not a problem.
You had a situation.
That's how I looked at it.
There's a problem here.
We got to get to the bottom of this fucking...
joe rogan
And what is the bottom of it?
What's the cause of it?
joey diaz
I was taking MK-677.
unidentified
What is that?
joey diaz
And it's a...
It's an amino acid peptide which mimics growth hormone in your brain.
And it had a lot of dumps, like insulin dumps and all this type of shit.
And it was raising my sugar.
It was doing a ton of shit.
I didn't even know it.
But this ain't the first time it happened.
It happened when I was doing testosterone when I was 50. I had a rush of red blood cells, and I was in D.C., and I had the worst fucking migraine headache for days.
And they took blood out and they go, you got too many red blood cells.
Wow. So that's why I can't do any of that shit.
And it's like the man said, if you're going to do growth, do growth.
Don't get something that's going to mimic growth.
joe rogan
What Ways to Well can do for you...
What ways to well could do for you will change your fucking life.
joey diaz
Yeah, no.
joe rogan
We get you a full blood panel and figure out what's going on, adjust your nutrition, adjust your vitamins.
joey diaz
He's the best.
And he loves what he does.
joe rogan
He does.
joey diaz
And that's what the key is.
Like, he's jerking off all over that fucking Martian.
joe rogan
He loves that shit.
joey diaz
He loves it.
joe rogan
He loves it.
It took forever to build that thing.
He was telling me he was having that thing made two years ago, and I was like, wow, what are you doing?
Now that he got it, I was like, oh, okay, I get it.
joey diaz
It's pretty cool.
But that was what I had going on, man.
joe rogan
We're going to see what we can do.
joey diaz
Yeah, I quit smoking pot and I was like, come on, man.
After about a month, I'm like, come on, Joey.
This ain't what fucking puts you in the hospital.
You know this.
So I started slightly.
I would just do one hit in the morning because that's all I need is the morning.
The rest of the day is bullshit.
I just like to be high in the morning with that coffee.
That's my world.
That lets me know what I'm doing that day.
joe rogan
You think about life.
joey diaz
No. Think about what you're doing.
It's like what Bill Heck said.
Marijuana don't make you lazy.
It just makes you realize that what you're going to do ain't worth doing.
Okay? That's the way I look at it.
You know, when I got to drive into the city, do that podcast, only 18 people listen to it, I'm not fucking going to do this.
You know, that's what happens.
And that's what happens with me.
I smoke pot in the morning, I'm like, I ain't doing that today.
unidentified
Fuck that.
joe rogan
I love you to death, Joey.
Let's wrap this up.
joey diaz
My brother, thank you for having me.
joe rogan
I'm glad you're in town.
unidentified
Happy Easter.
joe rogan
Let's have some fun.
Happy Easter, everybody.
joey diaz
Stay black.
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