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April 5, 2025 - The Joe Rogan Experience
02:19:54
Joe Rogan Experience #2300 - Kyle Dunnigan
Participants
Main voices
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joe rogan
01:18:27
k
kyle dunnigan
48:28
Appearances
j
jamie vernon
02:15
j
john f kennedy
02:46
Clips
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daniel day-lewis
00:18
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Speaker Time Text
unidentified
Joe Rogan Podcast.
Check it out.
The Joe Rogan Experience.
Train by day.
Joe Rogan Podcast by night.
All day!
Do-do-do-do Do-do-do-do-do-do
You know who wrote that?
kyle dunnigan
No. Pop Quiz.
Who? Very famous person wrote it.
joe rogan
What is that from?
kyle dunnigan
What show is that from?
joe rogan
Seventies. Yeah.
kyle dunnigan
It begins with an S. Sanford and Son.
Yes. Who wrote it?
You're not going to believe it.
Quincy Jones.
joe rogan
Really? Yes.
kyle dunnigan
And if you hear the whole song, it's a really good song.
joe rogan
I used to love that show.
Sanford and Son was fucking great.
kyle dunnigan
It was funny.
joe rogan
It was funny, ridiculous.
Red Foxx was the man.
kyle dunnigan
He was so funny on that.
I actually didn't like that theme song.
joe rogan
Here we go.
kyle dunnigan
When I first heard it.
joe rogan
That was back when sitcoms were sitcoms.
kyle dunnigan
That one was like way, I felt like way better.
Three's Company sucks if you watch that now.
That was like the number one sitcom.
Samson's still good.
joe rogan
Yeah. You know what's underrated that I really never gave a chance?
kyle dunnigan
Wait, I want to guess.
joe rogan
Big Bang Theory.
kyle dunnigan
Oh, fuck.
joe rogan
Fuck, I fucked it up.
kyle dunnigan
Sorry. I would have said Big Bang Theory.
joe rogan
It's a good show.
I used to shit on it because I saw clips with, you know how you do retakes?
kyle dunnigan
Where they're not laughing.
unidentified
No laughs.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
joe rogan
But that's, you know what that is?
That's like retakes.
When you work on a sitcom, sometimes you have to do pickups.
kyle dunnigan
Yeah, I actually don't know, but yes.
joe rogan
Oh, you do pickups and nobody knows anymore.
Nobody does it anymore.
Yeah. Miss Pat is like the only person I know with a sitcom.
kyle dunnigan
Yeah, I couldn't name one sitcom.
joe rogan
Think about all the comics we know.
I know one comic with a sitcom, Miss Pat, and it's on a streaming.
It's on BET.
kyle dunnigan
Yeah, and that was everything.
When I was first starting, your whole thing was you have to get a sitcom or you don't have any money.
joe rogan
Yeah, or you're never going to have a career.
Because there was no way to get people to come see you in the clubs.
Unless you had a special or unless you had a sitcom.
kyle dunnigan
Yeah. And I remember Zach Galifianakis.
It was pilot season.
Remember that whole thing?
unidentified
Oh, yeah.
kyle dunnigan
That was huge.
Like, pilot season's coming up.
joe rogan
Oh, yeah.
Everybody would be in town for pilot season.
Everybody would be like a special kind of anxious.
Yeah. Because your whole fucking career was laying on this moment where you walked into this room.
And there was these weirdos, these casting people.
There were always really socially bizarre people.
kyle dunnigan
And, like, tired and mad they've seen some people.
And it's always a tiny room.
joe rogan
And dismissive.
And they're the kings, and you are a peasant begging for a bowl of soup.
kyle dunnigan
Yeah, and when you walk in, they know they don't want you.
joe rogan
They also know you're broke.
kyle dunnigan
Yeah, and you have that desperate energy.
joe rogan
You want them to like you.
Hi. Hi, guys.
I want you to like me.
kyle dunnigan
Off-putting is what it is.
Death. I didn't get any.
I never got a sitcom.
I auditioned probably for a thousand.
I don't know why someone didn't say, you're not good at this.
No one told me.
joe rogan
You could have been on Big Bang Theory, ironically.
kyle dunnigan
I could have been.
joe rogan
You would have been a fucking major get for them.
kyle dunnigan
I would have been a huge get for them.
joe rogan
The show would have been a lot better.
kyle dunnigan
Actually, I did get one of them.
Let me tell you this story.
I go in, and you get a callback, okay?
First casting director, and then you're like, please like me.
Then you're like, callback.
And like, oh, they like me.
Second callback.
Now I get real nervous.
It was a show, Happy Family.
Have you heard of that?
No. Little Nugget?
What year are we talking about?
2003. A long time ago.
That guy, Larroquette, was on it.
joe rogan
Oh, yeah.
kyle dunnigan
I remember him saying, he's dropping on the set, and he goes, my friend Don told me, On my gravestone, it should say, it's not a great plot, but Larroquette's in it.
He told that funny joke.
joe rogan
Boy. The John Larroquette show was on the same lot as I was when I was filming news radio.
And Lenny Clark, who's a good friend of mine forever, Lenny was on that show.
And I'd run into Lenny in the parking lot and we'd talk.
But we would watch their feed where John Larroquette would yell at people.
kyle dunnigan
Yeah, that's you.
The feed is always, they forget there's a feed.
joe rogan
Yeah, people are screaming.
But no one had a cell phone back then.
You know, we're talking in the 90s.
So this is probably 94 or something like that.
unidentified
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
joe rogan
And it was a bizarre scene, man.
I never adjusted to being on television.
I never did.
kyle dunnigan
That's a good gig, though.
I mean, shit, that was like...
joe rogan
Yeah, but I couldn't wait to not do it anymore once I did it.
Really? Yeah, and I had the best version of it.
I had the best version of it.
Hilarious cast, brilliant writers.
kyle dunnigan
What was that?
joe rogan
The stress of it, it was just like, I just wanted to do stand-up.
kyle dunnigan
You get to, because you're getting a little famous, and then you have eight lines, and you said they could do whatever you want, and you're like...
Like, blah, blah, blah.
joe rogan
Listen, as far as...
That was also the problems.
I knew I was never going to get another sitcom like NewsRadio.
The other sitcoms that I read for were fucking garbage.
kyle dunnigan
After that, did they want you to do some...
Something after?
joe rogan
Yeah, there was a few opportunities.
I had a couple of development deals to do stuff.
But then when Fear Factor came on, my first thought was like, yes, no actors.
kyle dunnigan
Oh, really?
joe rogan
Yeah, I didn't have to deal with the whole thing.
The whole thing of the schmoozing and going to these award things and these parties and these press junkets that you had to do.
I didn't like it.
It just felt...
I don't know.
It was just weird.
You know, I never auditioned for anything.
Like, I auditioned for a couple commercials in New York.
I auditioned for two shows ever.
kyle dunnigan
We're going to get back to my larriquette story.
Go to your larriquette story now.
No, no, I want to hear this.
I want to say it out loud because I set up a story and then I didn't finish it.
joe rogan
So I got this show when I was living in New York.
It was called Hardball.
And I came out here to LA.
kyle dunnigan
Oh, wait a minute.
joe rogan
Yeah, it was a baseball show.
kyle dunnigan
I remember.
joe rogan
Jim Brewer was in the pilot with me.
Mike Starr from Goodfellas was in it.
kyle dunnigan
I don't know that guy.
joe rogan
Bruce Greenwood, who was in Star Trek.
He's been in everything.
He's a great actor.
He was in it.
He was the older pitcher that was my nemesis.
Terrible show.
Terrible show.
So bad.
unidentified
I think I saw the intro of it or something.
kyle dunnigan
I remember Hardball.
joe rogan
Yeah, it lasted six episodes.
And then the other show that I got was NewsRadio, and it was the only other show I auditioned for.
Everything else I auditioned for was like movies and stuff that I never got.
And there was a couple of shows after NewsRadio was over that I auditioned for that I didn't get.
But it was just like, it was so bizarre.
So when I would go to these auditions for other things, it wasn't that big a deal because I was already on NewsRadio.
So it wasn't like, if I didn't get these things, it was like, this would be okay.
But it was like...
Still the anxiety of that.
I had money and it was still like, oh, this is awful.
This whole thing is so stressful and so weird.
And everybody's so fucked up because you get a bunch of people that desperately want attention.
And then you go there to this place where you're surrounded by people who are desperately want attention in Hollywood.
And then you have this one moment in front of these people and they're looking at you like this.
Okay, Kyle.
Hi. So you're reading for Bobby, correct?
kyle dunnigan
I love the script.
So funny.
joe rogan
Bobby's an athlete.
kyle dunnigan
Yeah. No, I can do all the things.
Whatever you say, I can do it.
I'm good at it.
joe rogan
Right. Okay.
Tim here is going to read with you.
And Tim can barely read.
It's always like some PA.
He's probably on ketamine.
He can barely read.
And you have to pretend like you're having this emotive moment with Tim.
kyle dunnigan
I'm so glad I don't have to do that.
joe rogan
Ugh. It was the worst.
But some people love it.
Some people, look, man, we're comics.
Some people are actors.
They fucking love it.
Like, McConaughey, that fucking dude loves, like...
Pouring himself into a role, getting psychotic about who the character is.
kyle dunnigan
I wish I, if I could go back, I wish I looked at those as like, someone said this, as like an opportunity to perform instead of like, I'm trying to get something.
Right. I didn't, I was just desperate, like I had no money and I was going to have to get this.
joe rogan
I will say though, if you're on a sitcom that has really good writing, it's fun as shit.
News Radio was fun.
kyle dunnigan
You said you just got it.
How did you just...
joe rogan
I had a development deal with NBC, and I was going to do my own show, but they had a sitcom that they were already greenlit, and Ray Romano was on it, and Ray was the maintenance guy, and Ray got fired during the pilot,
which is the best thing that ever happened to him.
He goes on to do the Ray Romano.
Everybody loves Raymond, and it's fucking huge.
Bigger than news radio ever was.
So he gets fired, and another guy got hired, and then he got fired.
So I didn't feel bad.
Because I'm friends with Ray.
I love Ray.
kyle dunnigan
I bet you that part just was not good.
It wasn't the actor's fault.
Because you audition and then...
joe rogan
I don't know what it was.
It's like, you never know what they want.
Like, when Paul, the guy who created it, Paul Sims, is this brilliant guy who worked on fucking Larry...
HBO. Larry Sanders, thank you.
He worked on Larry Sanders.
He was a brilliant, brilliant guy.
And he did a very clever thing in the auditions.
The first audition I read for, it wasn't funny.
Like, on purpose.
They wanted to cut out all the people who were hamming it up.
I was like, oh my god, this writing is nothing.
So I'm like, I don't know what this is.
NBC asked me to go in and read for it.
I memorized this stuff, and I was like, I don't even know what I'm saying.
This doesn't make any sense.
So I go in and I do it.
It's like real flat.
And I say, thank you.
And all of a sudden, I have a callback.
And then they send me the callback sheets, and it's hilarious.
And I was like, oh, whoa.
kyle dunnigan
In order to see if you could turn something up.
joe rogan
Because that was a thing that everybody hated, was the hammy, hammy sitcom actor.
Come on, Bobby.
What are you doing?
kyle dunnigan
You're good at that.
joe rogan
That's really good.
I've seen a lot of those guys.
So they wanted to avoid that.
And so...
Then, you know, they had a call back and it was just like me and two other guys.
And these two other guys look like they just got back from Vietnam.
They were sweating.
They were fucking pale in the face.
kyle dunnigan
That makes you confident, right?
When you see someone nervous, you're like, oh, okay.
joe rogan
Super confident.
I looked at these guys like, oh, they can't handle pressure.
And I sat back in the couch and put my feet up on the coffee table like a dickhead.
kyle dunnigan
You did?
joe rogan
Yeah, while I was waiting.
We were in the waiting room.
I was looking at these guys panicking and I was like, oh, it's just us?
unidentified
Yeah, yeah.
kyle dunnigan
Yeah, I got this.
I had a sketch show, one of the rare things I got, and the guy, I was so out of my mind, nervous, and I could hear in the door this guy not doing good, panicking, and I just got calm, and I was like, I got this.
joe rogan
Isn't that nice?
unidentified
Yeah, yeah.
joe rogan
Oh, it's so good.
kyle dunnigan
Then the show got canceled.
joe rogan
Well, they all get canceled.
kyle dunnigan
Yeah, 90% of them don't, maybe even more, right?
joe rogan
Most of them never make it to a second season, and definitely most of them never make it to syndication.
They go a few episodes, and then they get canned.
kyle dunnigan
I was on...
Oh, go ahead.
joe rogan
No, I'm just saying, if the production company's not making money, the network's not making money, it's not getting ratings.
kyle dunnigan
I was in a situation, it was Cedric the Entertainer Presents.
It was a sketch show, and it was like, I was so excited.
joe rogan
I remember that.
kyle dunnigan
Yeah, I joined mid-season.
joe rogan
What year is this?
kyle dunnigan
2003. And big year for me.
So I get there mid-season.
They're like, we need a white guy to pick on.
I was the token white guy.
And Louis C.K. was a writer.
It was a great frickin' show.
And he got into a fight with the Fox.
Here's where I knew things were downhill.
Now, I didn't sell my car.
I had a really...
And I'd pull up to the good spots and it was like Lamborghini.
And it wasn't just a shitty car from, like, the early 80s.
It was, like, I had, like, four accidents.
It was just a chunk.
And I just was, like, so broke in a tiny apartment.
I'm like, let me just see if I can...
But it seemed like this was a hit show.
It was doing well.
Okay? So then it's, like, first thing, first sign, it was, like, hey, there's a Fox party tomorrow.
And I was like, oh, cool.
I made it in Hollywood.
So I go to this thing.
And I'm like, where's Cedric?
And they're like, oh, he got into a big fight with the head of Fox.
He told me he was a douchebag.
So I'm fighting.
I'm like, that doesn't sound like a good idea.
So I'm like, it'll be fun.
So then, we were about to go on right after American Idol, which was like the biggest show in the world.
So we're like, get ready for the rocket ship.
And then this guy put Wanda's psych show, took Cedric off the air for like six weeks to put Wanda's psych show.
Not off the air, but like, yeah, to move the spot.
So Wanda's show was after, and then Wanda's got amazing views, so it gave them an excuse to cancel Cedric, even though Cedric was a hit.
It was like a FU.
joe rogan
Cedric seems like a nice guy.
kyle dunnigan
Yeah, he was very cool, nice to me.
joe rogan
So what happened?
kyle dunnigan
He did get on the phone during my audition, though, at one point.
I was in the middle of auditioning.
He was like...
Yeah, and it was kind of a casual call.
It was clearly, like, not an emergency.
But I just, like, powered through.
But he was a very cool good guy, but...
joe rogan
There's a different, like, culture of stardom versus people that want to be on a show.
Like, you're not the equal.
kyle dunnigan
What do you mean?
joe rogan
Like, if you're auditioning for a show and the guy who has the show is in the room, there's this weird, you know, what is that?
Number one on the call sheet is a documentary about black actors.
It's not black actors.
It's just actors, period, in general.
I experienced that a lot in the news radio days with guys who were big movie stars, and they would big-time you in the weirdest way.
You couldn't just say hi to them.
You couldn't hang out with them.
There's a few guys that just like...
They were just really gross.
And then there was guys like John Ritter, who was like the fucking nicest guy in the world to everybody.
Right. Nicest guy in the world.
Nicest guy in the world.
Camera people, joking around with the makeup lady, fun.
kyle dunnigan
Heart attack.
joe rogan
Died. Young, man.
kyle dunnigan
I know.
joe rogan
Fucking young.
Before the vaccine.
Young. No, he took it.
kyle dunnigan
He was the first guy.
joe rogan
He was such a sweetheart on the set.
Such a nice guy.
kyle dunnigan
I had...
That Cedric show was also, I had like an episode where it was like my episode, you know, where it was like, I had like three sketches I wrote that was going to be, you know, it was my big coming out.
And I literally came out, right?
And I was like, what's going on, you guys?
And shock and awe started.
Remember the Iraq war?
And it just was gone.
And I told everybody like, that's my big show.
And it just, that happened.
And then the one, and it just was over.
And I was back to, I never.
Sold my car.
I was back to my studio apartment.
joe rogan
Couldn't you think that studio executives would be wise enough to go, look, we got Louis C.K. We have Cedric the Entertainer.
We have a fucking show.
Let's figure out a way to promote this correctly.
kyle dunnigan
And it was funny.
And it's so hard to make a funny sketch show.
They try to plot people together.
You need real synergy with the cast and the writers have to figure out how people are funny.
It takes a while.
The first set of SNL casts, they already worked together.
And that's why they were gelled right away.
I mean, one of the reasons.
But all these sketch shows they put together, and they'll say, don't pitch a sketch show.
They never work.
It's because they pluck people who don't even do sketch.
joe rogan
It's like putting together a boy band.
kyle dunnigan
Exactly, yeah.
joe rogan
You know, you have to put together a fake band.
Not a bunch of guys who grew up together in Seattle, been playing in the basement.
No. That works better, though.
Yeah, that works better.
kyle dunnigan
Just put a bunch of hot dudes together.
unidentified
Get some good hair and let them Milli Vanilli it up.
kyle dunnigan
Yeah. Remember those days?
By the way, Milli Vanilli.
joe rogan
They got a bad deal.
kyle dunnigan
Not to change topics, but...
joe rogan
They got a bad rap.
kyle dunnigan
Like, now they'd be fine.
joe rogan
They'd be fine.
No one cares if that's your voice.
You're hot.
I love your dreadlocks.
kyle dunnigan
Great. Great look.
joe rogan
Great bodies.
kyle dunnigan
Great bodies, great cocks.
joe rogan
Girl, I know it's true.
kyle dunnigan
Yeah, that's it.
I do like their music.
joe rogan
I love you.
No, you don't.
kyle dunnigan
I do.
joe rogan
I like that song.
Remember there was the other one?
There was a song.
God. It was like a big-time band, and there was this beautiful woman who was singing, and it turned out it wasn't really her singing.
There was some big, heavy lady.
Who was actually singing?
kyle dunnigan
Oh, it's always, yeah.
It's always like a big...
Millie Vino's a big fat guy.
joe rogan
It was one of those fucking...
Taylor Swift?
What was the band?
jamie vernon
NC Music Factory?
joe rogan
Yes. They didn't sing?
There was a situation like that, right?
Wasn't there?
Where some lady...
kyle dunnigan
I didn't know that.
joe rogan
Jamie will find it.
kyle dunnigan
Jamie finds everything.
joe rogan
He knows everything.
kyle dunnigan
Jamie hates me.
joe rogan
No, he doesn't.
unidentified
He loves you.
Yeah, he does.
joe rogan
We talked about you earlier today.
kyle dunnigan
He was saying nice things.
He's bipolar.
I know.
joe rogan
He got hit by a golf ball.
unidentified
Yeah, I saw his.
kyle dunnigan
He's so cool.
I want that.
I was watching him.
He's got that really cool golf set back there.
joe rogan
Oh, yeah.
Jamie can golf his ass off.
I have a buddy who got hit in the head with a golf ball.
He said he was fucked up for six months.
kyle dunnigan
Oh, really?
joe rogan
He got hit in the head with a line drive.
Just donk.
kyle dunnigan
I hit a kid with a golf ball.
He was all right, though.
Luckily, I didn't get a good swing on him.
joe rogan
I see those guys that, like, do those power swings on the internet, like, where they loop their arm around and fucking drive through and, like, imagine getting hit with one of those balls.
kyle dunnigan
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
joe rogan
It's like getting hit with, like, a fucking, like, a shotgun shooting a rubber bullet at you.
kyle dunnigan
Yeah, yeah, they're really, um, yeah, if you get a nice skull worm burner, you could kill a duck if you just...
Really? You ever see those videos of pieces of head just snapping?
joe rogan
No, but you ever see that one where the pitcher catches the bird in mid-flight?
kyle dunnigan
Yes. Amazing.
joe rogan
It's crazy.
It's like, what are the odds that it would perfectly be there when it's a hundred mile an hour pitch?
Who was that?
Was that Randy?
kyle dunnigan
Yeah. Randy, what's his last name?
jamie vernon
Randy Johnson.
joe rogan
Randy Johnson.
kyle dunnigan
He was so tall.
He was like halfway to the thing.
joe rogan
Martha Walsh, most famous unknown singer of the 90s speaks.
How a voice behind It's Raining Man Gonna Make You Sweat and Strike It Up went from being a bullied victim to an industry pioneer.
So what song was it, the C&C Music Factory song?
jamie vernon
Gonna Make You Sweat, C&C Music Factory.
unidentified
She's cute.
kyle dunnigan
Why didn't they give her a shot?
joe rogan
I don't know.
kyle dunnigan
I didn't even know what C&C Music Factory looks like.
Were they good-looking?
joe rogan
They probably were.
Well, that was the move back then.
You get good-looking people.
They dance around.
kyle dunnigan
Now you just get AI to do it.
joe rogan
Well, this was the first time where they were experimenting, really, with images in a way where everything's visual.
It's all video.
MTV was so important.
It was so important.
kyle dunnigan
I like the ugly years of musicians.
jamie vernon
Gonna make you sweat the same song as Everybody Dancing.
joe rogan
Oh, that's it.
So that's it.
Some other lady in the video was singing it, but that lady was the real voice behind it.
But she just didn't look like they wanted her to look.
jamie vernon
Uncredited vocals on the chorus.
joe rogan
Which is just so crazy.
Look what's happening with Lizzo.
You don't think that would have happened in 1994?
Of course it would have.
If you just tried it.
kyle dunnigan
Everybody! That reminds me of college.
I went to school for acting, which is the dumbest thing you can ever go to school for, by the way.
unidentified
What did you learn?
joe rogan
Nothing. What did you learn?
kyle dunnigan
Honestly, I learned how to be a worst actor.
I really do believe that.
It was like Shakespeare and stuff.
I'm terrible at that.
All my teachers thought I was just terrible.
And they did this one class.
joe rogan
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kyle dunnigan
Literally, like, it was called Movement for the Actor.
Now, imagine, like, your parents, my parents' pay for college.
It was so nice of them.
I don't have any debt.
But, like, what a waste of my parents' money.
It was, this is an hour class.
Movement for the Actor.
So, they'd put on music, like, everybody at Dance Dance was one of the things.
And then you're supposed to just creatively, like, do whatever.
So, these are a bunch of weirdos.
Like... $50,000.
So I'm in the, and I'm in my head like, what the fuck?
This doesn't make me a bad, so you're fake, and then this teacher was like, we're doing Shakespeare, and he's like, bring in tights next week for the Shakespeare, your performance.
unidentified
And I'm like, I'm not buying tights and coming in here with tights.
kyle dunnigan
Like, why would I have to do that?
Because back then, they dressed in their normal clothes.
unidentified
You know what I mean?
kyle dunnigan
When Shakespeare wrote the thing, they were just in their clothes.
It wasn't like you had to be in tights to do Hamlet.
So I just didn't get tights.
And he'd come in and he's like, where's your tights?
He's like this very effeminate guy who hated me.
unidentified
And he goes, where are your tights, Kyle?
kyle dunnigan
And I was like, oh, I forgot my tights.
And he's like, make sure you bring your tights next week.
And I was like, okay.
So next week, no tights.
And I go, oh, I forgot my tights.
Darn it!
Is that how you said it?
joe rogan
That's probably your best actor.
kyle dunnigan
Brought my tights, yeah.
I was really good at acting like I wanted to bring my tights.
So he goes, get mine.
They're in the back.
So these green tights.
joe rogan
Oh, that had been hugging his balls.
kyle dunnigan
Yeah, I had to put them on.
I looked like Kermit the Frog because my legs are the size of a 12-year-old Korean girl.
And I came out with my...
It was disgusting.
joe rogan
Kermit the Frog.
unidentified
Yeah, I look like Kermit.
kyle dunnigan
Yeah. By the way, and I did tell him, I said, listen, because I tried to negotiate before I put his tights on.
I'm like, but they didn't, they just wore their clothes like back then.
And he was like, get the tights.
Like, I want to see you in tights.
joe rogan
Brian Callum was always going to acting schools and he knew they were ridiculous.
But I don't, I think like Brian at one point in time was like completely enamored with the idea of being in.
In Hollywood, he had a bunch of famous actor friends, and he'd go to famous actor parties, and he'd take acting classes.
He's always working on his craft.
kyle dunnigan
I love that, working on my craft.
By the way, that's such bullshit.
joe rogan
But he was aware.
He was fucking around.
When he would say working on my craft, he wasn't being serious.
He was completely joking.
So he had this teacher that was, I think it was a Scientology hustle, too, was one of those things.
There was a lot of that, particularly in the 90s, where the teachers were Scientologists.
By the way, there's nothing to pick on Scientology.
Insert whatever religion.
There was a lot of Scientology that was in Hollywood, though.
But what they would do is they would get people to join the acting class, and they would try to recruit them into Scientology, because the teacher was a Scientologist.
He would talk about how important it was.
kyle dunnigan
To be in Scientology?
joe rogan
Yeah, yeah.
How important it was for his craft.
Meanwhile, they're never successful.
The people that are teaching the acting classes, they're always terrible.
Yeah. They never go anywhere.
Maybe they have a small part on one thing, and then they're going to tell you how to make it.
kyle dunnigan
Yeah, you never hear that speech to the Oscars.
When I was a teacher, I didn't think I'd ever be.
joe rogan
Not to say there's not good acting teachers out there.
I'm sure there are.
There's people that just love theater.
They love that kind of act.
They have no desire to be famous.
They love the craft.
They love the art of it.
That's true, too.
Right? But anyway, this guy, he was really into show tunes.
And he would do a big show at the end of the class or whatever, the end of the quarter, whatever it was.
He had this big show at this local theater.
And Brian's like, you have to come and watch a guy with the tiniest feet you've ever seen in your life.
I couldn't take my eyes off his feet because he had loafers on and they were like that big.
And this guy would sing like so passionately these show tunes.
From musicals.
There's no context.
kyle dunnigan
He didn't see the musical.
A medley of show tunes.
I love that.
Sounds like a great show.
Wait, you came there to see his feet?
joe rogan
No, Brian was fascinated by how small his feet were.
And then I couldn't stop because we were high, so I couldn't stop looking at his feet.
kyle dunnigan
That's not that small.
joe rogan
No, they were tiny.
They were like size 5. They were little tiny feet.
kyle dunnigan
I had a date of this girl once, and she was like, I have a shoe show.
I'm a shoe model, right?
And I'm like, oh, a shoe show?
joe rogan
Okay. A shoe model?
kyle dunnigan
Yeah, a foot.
joe rogan
A foot model?
kyle dunnigan
Like, she would model shoes.
Okay, like open-toed shoes?
I didn't know, but that's what she would say.
She was going to do this.
And she always had dollar bills.
She always had cash.
And I found out years later, she was a stripper.
Shoe show is when you have no clothes on.
And I just thought she was a shoe...
Oh, by the way, here's another...
joe rogan
I thought it was going another direction.
I thought guys were paying to jerk off to her feet.
kyle dunnigan
Maybe. She had great feet.
But another stupid...
This was even a dumber class than the moving around class.
It was called Interpretation for the Actor.
So this week, you would read a play like Streetcar Named Desire.
And then you'd come in and you'd do your interpretation of it.
So the weirder you were, the better grade you got.
unidentified
Okay? Oh, boy.
kyle dunnigan
So one guy comes and he did Streetcar.
And he put...
It was a big mirror, you know, because it was also a dance room.
And he took a lipstick and he wrote whore within lipstick.
This is so deep.
Yeah. And he pulled his pants down and started fucking the mirror.
And then he turned to us and he goes, fuck you.
And he left.
And then everyone started clapping.
unidentified
And I was like, I gotta get the fuck out of here.
kyle dunnigan
Listen to what I, so I'm like, because I got like a D on my whatever I did.
So I'm like, I'm going to be fucking weird my next.
I didn't read any of the things.
I have trouble reading.
I don't know how to read.
I just never learned.
Glass Menagerie is my book.
Didn't read it.
Whatever. I just went in there.
I got an egg.
I took one of my mother's Waterford crystal glasses and a string.
I took the string and I was just like, nobody sails the seas if they don't find their way.
Then I clipped the string and the glass fell and broke.
Then I went outside, you could see, and I buried an egg.
It makes no fucking sense.
And then the guy said, what grade do you think you should get?
And I said, an A. And he gave me an A. That was my college work.
unidentified
He's brilliant.
kyle dunnigan
By the way, I'm working on my craft.
By the way, are you really working?
Like, when you work...
Meryl Streep was an amazing actress when she was 20. And she's amazing now.
She never...
Are you working four hours a day getting better at acting?
No. You're not...
joe rogan
You're not training.
kyle dunnigan
There's a little bit you can kind of learn, but you're done after a little bit.
joe rogan
If you're not Daniel Day-Lewis already...
kyle dunnigan
Fucking love that guy.
joe rogan
Yeah. If you're not that guy already, you're probably never going to be able to do that.
kyle dunnigan
They talk like they're working their piano skills all day and four days.
You're crap.
You know the problem what we did was is we were like, we.
Not me at all.
But when they were like, oh, let's make some more money.
We'll have an award show, and then we'll make money.
That's why there's the Oscars, is they're famous.
But the actors thought, we're doing something really great.
joe rogan
The Oscars are like the Olympics for actors.
kyle dunnigan
Yeah. And it's, I mean, the Olympics, at least you're like, I don't know, doing something you can quantify.
But like, a nine-year-old won an Oscar.
Like, how?
Didn't I have a nine-year-old best surgeon?
It's a thing you can do or kind of can't do.
There's a little bit of learning, but certainly not movement for the actor.
joe rogan
It's not brain surgery.
No. It's not working on your craft.
kyle dunnigan
It's not even like...
joe rogan
It's not painting.
kyle dunnigan
It's not even like when you crunch a ball and you throw it into a basket.
The skill is like...
joe rogan
Well, it's one of the few careers where it's a benefit.
To be out of your fucking mind.
kyle dunnigan
Yeah, it's about personal.
We love the person.
Jeff Goldblum.
Love that guy.
Christopher Walken.
joe rogan
Jack Nicholson.
kyle dunnigan
Amazing. There's amazing actors.
joe rogan
You like the people who party.
Yeah. Crazy wild people.
kyle dunnigan
You want the story behind it to be.
Yeah. I miss Jack Nicholson.
joe rogan
Oh, yeah.
unidentified
He was the best.
That old Jack.
kyle dunnigan
He was the best.
joe rogan
He was the best.
kyle dunnigan
Did you ever see him flirt with Jennifer Lawrence?
unidentified
Have you ever seen that video?
joe rogan
No. How old was he at the time?
A thousand?
kyle dunnigan
He was 1,000.
Wait, Jamie, do you have that?
I don't mean to run this show, but it's a good schooling on, like, he's so cool.
And this girl's way too young for him.
But, um...
unidentified
Jack, no?
If you want to talk politics, we can.
joe rogan
Thank you.
unidentified
Yeah, you're being really rude.
Good to see you.
I thought about it.
joe rogan
So it became flirtatious, but it was mostly just complimentary about her movie.
What movie was that?
kyle dunnigan
He stayed cool, and he just makes that eye contact, and then...
joe rogan
It's like you need crazy people to make great movies.
kyle dunnigan
She was flirting, actually.
joe rogan
She flirted with him.
Yeah. You need crazy people to make good movies.
You need it.
You need a guy who's going to pretend he's Lincoln for four months.
kyle dunnigan
There will be blood I just saw.
joe rogan
Oh, my God.
Phenomenal. What's that?
jamie vernon
I drink it up.
joe rogan
What was it?
jamie vernon
Silver Linings Playbook.
I think her and Bradley Cooper.
joe rogan
Oh, I didn't see that one.
kyle dunnigan
I drink your milkshake.
joe rogan
Oh, my God.
It was so good.
He was so good.
He was such a great psychopath.
kyle dunnigan
If I read that movie, I think I'd be like, this is boring.
There Will Be Blood is just boring.
joe rogan
Right, I'll drink your milkshake, what?
kyle dunnigan
At the end, he's talking to that guy who's religious, who's like, can I have some of your...
And he's like, no, there's no more oil under you.
He's like, I drank it up!
And he just made the analogy of a straw drank up his thing, and then he beats him with a bowling pin.
He's like, I'm finished.
One of the best endings to a movie.
joe rogan
Yeah, it was a fucked up movie.
So that's a different thing.
that kind of acting.
Why is this dude crying already?
kyle dunnigan
He needs money.
He got broke.
And he's coming back to like beg him.
unidentified
You're just the afterbirth, Eli.
No. The slithered out on your mother's filth.
No. They should have put you in a glass jar on the mantelpiece.
Where were you when Paul was suckling at his mother's teeth?
Where were you?
Who was nursing you, poor Eli?
None of Bandit's sows.
john f kennedy
That land has been had.
unidentified
The loop out is gone.
Pat, you loop.
If you would just take this lease, Daniel.
Drain it!
Drain it!
You're a G-Li, you boy.
Drain dry.
I'm so sorry.
joe rogan
Cut to the part where he kills him.
Is it in there?
No, they cut it out.
unidentified
And I have a straw.
There it is.
john f kennedy
That's a straw.
unidentified
You see?
john f kennedy
Watch it.
daniel day-lewis
My straw reaches across the room and starts to drink your milkshake.
I drink your milkshake.
unidentified
Drink it up!
Don't bully me, Daniel!
kyle dunnigan
So good.
Choices, they say, in school.
It's the choices you make in your performance.
joe rogan
It's also, you've got to be out of your fucking mind.
You've got to be able to become that guy.
kyle dunnigan
I know, but then...
joe rogan
Most people can't do that.
Most people can't lie that good.
kyle dunnigan
Yeah, I mean, he becomes those people where...
joe rogan
Becomes them.
kyle dunnigan
But to live with that guy would be probably a nightmare during that movie.
joe rogan
Oh, it would be a nightmare.
Imagine if that guy's your roommate.
unidentified
Who ate my cheese?
My Cheerios.
joe rogan
All day long, he's a murderous psychopath.
And what if he slips into character too much?
What if he lights your house on fire just to stay in character?
kyle dunnigan
At least he does back it up.
Do you know what I mean?
He hasn't done anything too crazy.
joe rogan
Well, there's a lot of people that do that.
They play a brawler and they start fights with people on the streets.
People get crazy with film roles, with who they become.
kyle dunnigan
Yeah, who was that guy?
joe rogan
But that's how you got a great movie.
unidentified
Who was that guy?
joe rogan
Christian Bale?
jamie vernon
Jared Leto was sending people stuff, I think, as the Joker.
Jared Leto was doing weird shit when he was the Joker.
joe rogan
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
kyle dunnigan
I don't like when they go too far with it.
jamie vernon
Might have been rumors too, but...
kyle dunnigan
Yeah, the Batman guy.
Remember that whole thing where he was...
Screaming at the guy for getting in the way of his lighting or something?
joe rogan
No, this guy was moving around.
The background was distracting.
And he's like, aren't you a fucking professional?
Remember that?
Yeah. Because he was in some heavy scene.
kyle dunnigan
Yeah, but he was...
joe rogan
That does happen, man, where people don't pay attention and they're on their phone and they're fucking off in the background.
kyle dunnigan
I know.
joe rogan
And they're right in the eyeline.
kyle dunnigan
The thing that I found interesting about that was his accent didn't...
Because he kept an American accent when he was screaming, so...
Interesting. I found that quite interesting.
Yes, indeed, yes.
joe rogan
That guy's another fucking amazing actor.
Another amazing actor.
kyle dunnigan
What was that psycho movie?
American Psycho.
So good.
joe rogan
Insane. But the craziest thing he ever did was when he almost died, making that Machinist movie.
Got down to like 120 pounds.
kyle dunnigan
Oh, almost fucking hell.
joe rogan
He played a guy with narco.
It's a terrible movie.
Not terrible.
kyle dunnigan
I never heard of it.
joe rogan
It's just not very good.
But, I mean, to have a guy who's like a leading man and almost die for a movie that no one saw.
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kyle dunnigan
I got a movie that was like the only...
It was right in between...
It was Walking Phoenix's movie.
It was so bad.
The only movie I ever got.
And it was between the Joker and the next...
It was set up to be this big movie.
It was Gus Van Zandt movie.
And to get the...
I was a doctor.
I had to say all these like...
Crazy things.
Technical about the spine.
And I knew if I could just get through this audition and just say this, I'll get this part.
I'll be in the top 10% because everyone's going to fuck up this and be staring at a piece of paper.
So I did the whole script.
When I tap here to say this, I had a whole thing that made me memorize it.
And I went and I got it.
I go to do the thing.
No one talks to me.
The wardrobe guy goes, what outfit do you want?
He showed me a couple.
I was like, this one?
I'm choosing the outfit of this doctor?
I was like, okay.
And then never saw Gus Van Zandt.
And then I get there and they go, just when they say action, go in there and then do your scene.
There was no blocking or anything.
And I'm like, okay.
And I've never done a movie before.
And I'm like, this is how?
I don't think this is how you do it.
So they're like, go.
So I go in there and I'm like, see a column and doing this whole thing.
And Gus Van Zandt comes up after me.
He goes, have we met before?
I auditioned like three times for him and I got the part.
And I'm like, yeah.
And he goes, you're talking over Joaquin.
And I go, oh, don't talk over Joaquin.
I couldn't hear Joaquin Phoenix at all because he was just like doing his lines like that, you know.
And I wouldn't think as the doctor talking to like assistants that I would.
Stop talking in the middle of my sentences while he's talking because he was talking to himself.
But it was the weirdest thing.
joe rogan
Terrible movie.
Was he playing an insane person?
kyle dunnigan
He was crippled.
Is that PC?
Did we say that?
He couldn't move his legs.
He was the guy.
He was a cartoonist.
I'm blanking on the name of the movie.
But he was a cartoonist.
And it was this biopic.
And I was...
It was a very weird experience.
But the movie, anyway, my point is, is terrible.
joe rogan
It's a terrible movie.
But you thought it was going to be a banger.
Thought this was your shot.
kyle dunnigan
No, because at this point in my career, like the shock and awe, like these things happen to you over and over again where I'm just like kind of laughing.
It's like, okay.
I remember I was, yeah.
There's been a bunch of situations where like, get ready for the rocket ship, Kyle, because things are about to take off.
And I'm always like, okay.
Oy. Yeah.
joe rogan
The old rocket ship.
Isn't that funny?
Like, everybody wants to...
It's just the weird anxiety of not knowing if it's going to work out for you.
Such a terrible place to be.
Like, that's where the real making it is.
The real making it is just not worrying about that anymore.
The real making it is just like, oh, I can make a living.
That's the real...
kyle dunnigan
That's a big hump, yeah.
joe rogan
That's the hump.
That's the hump.
Like, whenever I tell, like, young comics that are just starting to, like, headline now, and, you know, they've got some, like, viral clips, I'm like, dude, listen to me.
You have already made it.
Like, you're a professional now.
This is the hump.
Everything now is just stick to the grind.
Stick to the...
It's gravy from here on out.
Like, you should be so happy.
You're talented and you're successful.
It's actually happening.
People are paying to come see you.
I'm like, you got this.
Like, from here...
Because everyone's like, man, what if they stop coming?
Like, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't.
Don't get into that.
You should have fun.
Have fun.
They want you to have fun.
Come on.
kyle dunnigan
It's almost your job is to have fun.
joe rogan
Your job is to have fun.
kyle dunnigan
I wish someone told me, because I really did not get this advice for a...
joe rogan
Some people that are super successful still don't do that.
There's guys out there that are super successful that are paying attention to the ticket sales of other super successful guys.
I'm talking like arena acts that do that.
kyle dunnigan
Oh, really?
joe rogan
Oh, yeah.
kyle dunnigan
People get kooky.
joe rogan
They get kooky with numbers and their position in the ladder.
Am I making it?
Is it happening?
kyle dunnigan
What does their name rhyme with?
joe rogan
I'm not telling you.
kyle dunnigan
Jamie knows, I could tell by the smiles.
joe rogan
I like them too.
I like a lot of people that think ridiculous things.
But it's just, it's a trap that, you know, the struggle that led you to become successful at something in the first place, that becomes like your mentality once you're in a different stage of it.
And you have to adjust.
kyle dunnigan
It's hard to change.
joe rogan
You gotta be able to adjust.
kyle dunnigan
It's almost like changing your personality to change that habit.
I mean, it's really difficult.
joe rogan
Well, everybody adjusts a little bit, right?
Because you first get into it because you want attention.
Like, you first get into it because you think, maybe I could be a comedian.
That'd be cool.
I'd be on stage.
I'd get attention.
And then after that, you don't need that.
That's not what you really want anymore.
Then it becomes like, I just want it to get better.
I'm working on this thing.
I just want it to work.
I want it to pop on stage.
I want to figure out the right beats.
I want to figure out the right way to say it.
Then it becomes that.
And once it becomes that, that's the happy spot.
That's where you're happy.
When you can just create stuff.
Put it together.
kyle dunnigan
I wish someone told me that.
I had some viral YouTube videos way back.
And I was still on sitcom.
I got to get a sitcom mentality where if someone was just like, dude, focus on your YouTube.
And get your audience go directly to your audience.
joe rogan
But back then, no one knew.
No one had any idea.
Like, just think about this podcast was started in 2009.
And in 2009, everybody thought it was a pathetic waste of time.
kyle dunnigan
Yeah, I remember.
joe rogan
Friends would come over to do my podcast and be like, what are you doing?
Like, why are you doing this?
It's like, it's such a waste of time.
You're on a fucking webcam.
But nobody saw that coming.
unidentified
Did you?
joe rogan
I would have never given you that advice back then.
unidentified
Just get to your YouTube.
kyle dunnigan
You did it because it was enjoyable.
You weren't thinking this is the way...
joe rogan
I always wanted a radio show, but no one would ever give me a radio show.
When I would do radio shows, like if I would sit in on Opie and Anthony, I'd be like, this is so fun.
I'd love to do something like this, but no one's going to give me one of these fucking things.
That's how I thought about it.
When I saw Anthony Cumia started doing this thing live from the compound, he would do it in his basement, where he'd play karaoke with a machine gun.
He's out of his mind.
He's drunk.
He's got full beer.
kegs on tap there.
They're drinking Guinness and he's fucking doing karaoke where he's holding a machine gun.
It was the most ridiculous shit.
But he had a full professional studio where he had green screen, he had pro microphones, just in his basement for funsies.
He just did it for fun.
And I was like, that's what I want to do.
I'll do something like that for fun.
And then of course Tom Green.
Tom Green had that internet show in his living room.
And I remember looking around and going, you just gotta figure out how to make money with this.
Like this is
This is a job.
kyle dunnigan
That's nice you knew you wanted to do that.
joe rogan
Wow, it just seemed like fun.
I always loved the opportunity to talk to interesting people or funny people.
I'm a questioner.
I like to ask questions.
How did you know that?
Why did you do that?
You found the right thing.
It's just like the opportunity to talk to cool people seems like what a great thing that would be because it's always fun to talk to cool people.
If I was ever on those shows and I ran into someone who was interesting, I was like, how did you start this?
kyle dunnigan
Yeah, you having a lot of interest helps.
joe rogan
Oh, for sure.
But back then, I would have told you to get a sitcom because there was no money on YouTube.
Everybody still wanted a sitcom back then.
kyle dunnigan
The other one guy who didn't, and I was like, he's lying.
Zach Galifianakis was like, I don't want to do a sitcom.
In my head, I'm like, oh, he's lying.
But he actually had a very...
He had his head together.
joe rogan
Yeah, he's not lying about nothing.
I mean, that guy, he's the least attention whorey of any famous person.
kyle dunnigan
He never got caught up.
joe rogan
Famous funny person ever.
Not at all.
Doesn't he live like on a farm?
kyle dunnigan
Yeah, he does.
He's like a tractor.
joe rogan
Yeah, very interesting guy.
Very smart guy.
kyle dunnigan
Very smart.
joe rogan
He was good friends with Brody.
Yeah. And he was one of the first people to alert me when Brody was off the meds.
Like, there was a time when Brody was off his meds.
Do you remember that?
kyle dunnigan
Mm-hmm.
joe rogan
People that don't know, we're talking about our late great friend, Brody Stevens, who was like...
kyle dunnigan
So funny.
joe rogan
He was so funny.
Brody Stevens is like one of the best examples of, like, it's not what's written on paper.
kyle dunnigan
Yeah, if you got his act on paper, you'd be like, this is not gonna work at all.
joe rogan
Right, you'd be like, this is nonsense.
This doesn't make any sense at all.
Meanwhile, everyone's lining up in the back of the room to see him say these things.
kyle dunnigan
Yeah, I think it's like that Andy Kaufman of our little time period there.
joe rogan
Andy Kaufman was a brilliant actor and a brilliant comedic actor.
He's great on Taxi, but I don't think he ever killed on stage like Brody did.
Brody was, one time we were in the improv.
kyle dunnigan
Oh yeah, a different type of comedy.
But it was like, you know, a different, when he was on stage, like people, the comedians watched him.
joe rogan
Yes. It was a different thing.
He's doing his own thing.
He's doing this Brody Stevens thing.
One time we were at the improv, and it's really late.
Like, I'd gone up, a lot of people had gone up, the crowd was kind of tired, half the people there.
And they announced that Brody's there, and Brody's worried that people are going to get up.
So Brody takes his shirt off, and he starts swinging it around in the air over his head and walking through the crowd.
Let's go!
Positive energy!
And he gets on stage, and he pulls drumsticks out of his back pocket, starts beating the chairs, and he starts talking shit.
And he just changed the energy of the whole room.
Changed the energy of the whole room.
kyle dunnigan
And I don't think there's anybody...
Since him, I can't think of somebody who's replaced.
Someone will replace that, but...
joe rogan
They're going to do it in their own way.
kyle dunnigan
You have Brody's on stage.
You have to go watch.
joe rogan
Holtzman's like that now.
kyle dunnigan
Holtzman? Oh, I don't know him.
joe rogan
Brian Holtzman?
You don't know Brian Holtzman?
No. Oh, my God, dude.
kyle dunnigan
I stay in my house a lot.
joe rogan
Oh, my God.
You let him stay at your house and you don't even know him?
kyle dunnigan
No, I say I stay at my house.
joe rogan
You've never seen Holtzman at the comedy store?
kyle dunnigan
No. That's crazy.
You know what?
I might have and just didn't know his name.
joe rogan
Well, he would always go on late at night.
And unfortunately...
You know, there would be like 15 people left in the crowd, and Holtzman would go on these wild rants.
He's like one of the funniest guys of all time.
He's like a complete, total comics comic.
unidentified
Oh, yeah.
kyle dunnigan
I don't know him well.
joe rogan
Holtzman's at our club now all the time.
All the time.
But now he has a crowd.
Now people know about him, so they come to see him.
You cannot go there.
If anything, if you can't tolerate literally everything, don't go.
kyle dunnigan
Is this very dirty?
joe rogan
It's not dirty.
It's just he's out of his fucking mind.
And it's kind of in character, but you're not really sure.
kyle dunnigan
I like that.
joe rogan
Mitzi Shore wouldn't let him on stage for two weeks after 9-11.
She wouldn't let him up.
He can't go up.
He's like, Mitzi, I don't understand.
I'm not going to cross any lines.
He was like, couldn't wait to cross lines.
Do you remember when Susan Smith, that lady, drowned her kids?
Yes. The day.
The day.
He's on stage.
Ladies and gentlemen, I heard those are bad kids.
I heard they sat that close to the TV.
They didn't put away their blocks.
They always spilt their fucking milk.
Those kids are not going to be missed.
And you're like, what?
kyle dunnigan
What did the audience do?
joe rogan
Die. Hollywood, comedy store, sunset, Tuesday night or whatever it was.
1 a.m.
They went nuts.
Everybody went nuts.
kyle dunnigan
Yeah, yeah.
joe rogan
But that was Holtzman.
Holtzman got these late spots.
So he would say the wildest, most insane shit, but also have a really good point half the time.
Like, it was comedy wrapped up in a point, and then every now and then he'd let you in on it, like, that it was just fucking around and go right back to it!
unidentified
Yeah, yeah.
joe rogan
And, you know, it's a little dance he's doing with the crowd, and you gotta know...
What the dance is.
But if you know what the dance is, comics love him.
Whenever he's on stage, we sit in the balcony and watch Holtzman at the mothership.
kyle dunnigan
It sounds like that other guy who's older and blanking on his name.
joe rogan
Don Barris?
unidentified
Nope. He's like, what are you people doing here at this tower?
joe rogan
Oh, Louis Black?
unidentified
No. Jesus, who are you talking about?
kyle dunnigan
He's at the store.
unidentified
Eddie Pepitone?
joe rogan
Eddie Pepitone.
unidentified
Eddie's great.
kyle dunnigan
I love that guy.
joe rogan
Oh yeah, he's great too.
Very similar in a lot of ways, like just insane energy and has a point, but is also completely wacky.
kyle dunnigan
Yeah, I love how long careers can be.
joe rogan
He's a sweetheart of a guy too, Pepitone.
kyle dunnigan
Yeah, he is.
joe rogan
I think he started late.
I think Eddie started a little late.
Oh, did he?
I think so.
At least I wasn't aware of him until later.
kyle dunnigan
It's good we have a long career.
Like, imagine, I was thinking about sports guys, you know, like you're a baseball player and that's your identity and then you're 30 and you're like...
joe rogan
It's over.
unidentified
We can go along the way.
joe rogan
You can go to maybe 40. Like, look, Tom Brady, still playing football.
What was he, like 42 when he retired?
kyle dunnigan
Still, that's youngish to have.
joe rogan
Young as fuck if you're a comic.
kyle dunnigan
If your identity is I'm a sports, you know, player, I'm like a sports player.
joe rogan
That's how much I know.
kyle dunnigan
I just revealed how, what a good big sports guy I am.
Sports player.
You know, you're a sports player.
joe rogan
An athlete makes a ton of money for a very short amount of time.
That's why they all go broke.
Or not all of them, but a large amount of them go bankrupt.
kyle dunnigan
It's also just like, you think about your identity when you're a kid, and you probably get all that, you know, identity as an athletic person, then you become like a professional.
And it must be difficult to just, you have to really never...
Hook into that.
Like, that's my identity.
It's also, like, if you're a really hot woman, I think it's hard when, you know, you've got to, like, not have that be your identity.
joe rogan
It can't be your whole thing, because one day it's going to go away.
But if you're an athlete, it goes away even quicker than being a hot lady.
Like, there's hot ladies that are in their 50s.
They're still hot.
They maintain their looks.
kyle dunnigan
Some hot ladies in the 50s.
joe rogan
They work out.
They take care of their skin.
But there's no, like, super athletes that are in their 50s.
Like, they don't exist.
kyle dunnigan
What about...
joe rogan
Not at a professional level.
kyle dunnigan
Hold on.
Let me think.
joe rogan
Go ahead.
kyle dunnigan
It's not possible.
I know athletes.
Give me a second here.
joe rogan
There's one guy I can tell you that did it into his 50s.
Bernard Hopkins.
kyle dunnigan
He played golf?
joe rogan
No, he was a boxer.
A world champion boxer.
kyle dunnigan
Oh, a boxer in their 50s was good?
joe rogan
Multiple division world champion boxer was beating world champions at 50 years old.
kyle dunnigan
Did Tyson, was he full on going full on?
joe rogan
I don't know.
I'm not Mike Tyson.
kyle dunnigan
You don't know?
joe rogan
But I would say, by the tone of my voice, you can sense a little bit of skepticism.
Yeah. Anybody who's a combat sports athlete looked at that and said, you know, I'm happy Mike Tyson made money.
kyle dunnigan
It seemed like he held back a little bit.
joe rogan
Maybe there was an agreement.
I wasn't there.
I'm not one for wild speculation.
kyle dunnigan
No, you're not.
jamie vernon
No, you don't get into anything until he was 69 years old in 276 days.
joe rogan
Who is that?
jamie vernon
One extra game.
Gordie Howe.
kyle dunnigan
Gordie Howell, great...
joe rogan
Soccer? Hockey?
He was 69?
jamie vernon
Yeah, I mean, he wasn't in the NHL at that point, but he played a professional hockey game at that age, yeah.
joe rogan
That's insane!
kyle dunnigan
Hey, Joe, can I have a cigar?
I want to look manly.
I need something to look manly.
joe rogan
Let me get some freshies out of the humidor.
You look very manly.
kyle dunnigan
I mean, I thank you, but sometimes I look in the mirror and I'm like, that guy looks old.
jamie vernon
Kelly Slater, also pro surfer, still rolling.
kyle dunnigan
I'm going to look ridiculous.
joe rogan
Kelly's a great example.
He's another example of someone who just takes care of themselves.
But Bernard Hopkins was like Bernard Hopkins' world championship fight that he had when he was in his 50s.
jamie vernon
This list on Wikipedia gives Albert Hughes as the oldest pro boxer at 70 years old.
joe rogan
Oh my god.
Where was he out of?
jamie vernon
I'm gonna look.
joe rogan
I know Archie Moore, who was a famous boxer before the Muhammad Ali days.
Archie Moore was...
That's like way back in the...
unidentified
What? Oh, that's just sad.
joe rogan
The guy he's fighting does not look like he's trying to hit him.
jamie vernon
He wins.
joe rogan
The old guy wins?
This looks like someone took a motherfucking dive.
That kid needed money.
Yeah, this kid's not punching back at all.
He's just covering up.
This looks super sus.
Oh, and he just goes down?
Yeah, if I was the Athletic Commission, I'd have a talk with those fellas.
I'd be like, hey, what are we doing here?
Is this pro wrestling?
kyle dunnigan
White Tyson.
jamie vernon
36 years after his last fights.
joe rogan
Well, I do know that people have been offered fights That are fake fights.
kyle dunnigan
You do know that for a fact.
joe rogan
100%. I know people have been offered fights where they said, you will win the fight.
kyle dunnigan
I don't like that at all.
joe rogan
I know there's celebrity boxing matches and celebrity fights that are like that where they make a deal.
kyle dunnigan
Would you ever do a legit fight at some point?
joe rogan
No. I'm old as fuck, dude.
kyle dunnigan
No, dude.
You're chicken.
Spring chicken.
joe rogan
No, no, no, no, no, no.
No, you shouldn't do that kind of stuff as you get older, I don't think.
I don't think your body's as resilient.
Even if you stay fit and in shape, you don't want head trauma in your 50s.
kyle dunnigan
I've hit my head so many times in my life, I'm a little worried about it.
joe rogan
So Hopkins broke his own record by winning the IBF Light Heavyweight title from Tavares Cloud in 2013.
And again, in 2014, we won the WBA Super title from Bayboot.
Shumanoff at ages 48 and 49. That's fucking crazy.
So he wins two titles, a title at age 48 and a title at age 49. Incredible.
kyle dunnigan
Are those rigged?
joe rogan
No! No, no, no, no, no.
The way that he would box was super intelligent.
He was very defensively minded.
You didn't get clean shots off on Bernard Hopkins.
He was very clever.
And he understood boxing at a very, very deep level.
His footwork was always on point.
Never drank.
Never smoked.
Always took care of his body.
Ate only organic food.
Worked out every day.
Never got out of shape.
Just all discipline.
And so he was able to maintain his body.
kyle dunnigan
Did you ever have that guy, Brian...
joe rogan
What the hell is this?
Oh, what the fuck?
It's not working?
unidentified
Piece of shit.
joe rogan
These things die.
kyle dunnigan
That is a piece of shit.
joe rogan
No way.
There it goes.
kyle dunnigan
Have you had that guy...
I'm going to look ridiculous doing this.
joe rogan
No, you look like a man.
I think more of you know.
kyle dunnigan
Thanks, man.
Joe said I look like a man.
unidentified
Is it?
joe rogan
Wouldn't that be funny if that's all it takes?
kyle dunnigan
No, I did not.
unidentified
Come on, bitch.
joe rogan
I think I have to fill it.
kyle dunnigan
Yeah, I only got a corner.
Have you had that guy on who's trying to live forever, the vampire?
No, I haven't.
I'm really fascinated with that guy.
I like what he's doing.
He's trying.
joe rogan
It's kind of interesting, but he's doing a bunch of stuff that I would say most experts believe is not the way to go.
One of them is avoiding sunlight.
kyle dunnigan
Oh, yeah.
joe rogan
Yeah, you're supposed to get sunlight.
Like, sunlight is important for your body.
It's the best way your body produces vitamin D. It's great for your endorphins.
Sunlight is good for you.
This idea that you should be shielded from the sun because you're going to prevent skin cancer.
It's probably...
I've talked to a dermatologist about this, and they were explaining that.
If you don't have resilience from the sun, if you're not, like, used to going out in the sun, then you go out all in one burst and get sunburned.
He's like, yeah, sunburned is not good for you.
Yeah, he goes, you're damaging your skin.
What you should do is get accustomed to being in the sun.
So you don't get fucking sunburned.
And then be out in the sun.
Don't get cooked.
Don't spend the whole day out in the sun and get cooked.
But being out in the sun is actually good for you.
It's healthy for your body.
Yes. That's just one thing.
The other thing is the vegan thing.
I get it if it's for ethical concern.
You've got this idea in your mind that animal life is more important than plant life.
And you don't want to contribute to animal death.
Okay. I understand that perspective, but not from a health perspective.
From a health perspective, all the studies that show that meat causes this, it's all been debunked.
And not only that, most of them are these epidemiology studies where they ask people, like, how often do you eat meat?
Is it two times a week, three times a week, four times a week?
And the more people that ate meat, the more people you see diseases, the more people you see...
Problems, all these health consequences.
And so they go, oh, meat correlates to these health consequences.
What you don't ask them is, how did you eat the meat?
Is it a jack-in-the-box burger with a fucking giant Coca-Cola?
Did you have fries that were cooked in seed oil?
Did you eat cake with it?
What did you do?
Do you smoke cigarettes?
How often do you drink?
Do you drink every night?
Okay. People that are more health conscious, especially if they haven't read into it enough, where they really understand what's nutrient dense and what causes problems with your health and what are the real issues with high sugar diets.
Those people, they hear meat is bad, so they say, you know what, I'm just going to eat vegetarian.
It seems like it's healthier.
I'm just going to eat lentils.
They're good for you.
They don't cause cancer.
I read about the China diet.
And so you start believing that.
But that's not really true.
And people have eaten meat since literally the beginning of time, and 95% of the planet eats meat.
There's a bunch of things that likely contribute to all sorts of metabolic diseases that people have.
I don't think regular meat is one of them.
I don't think a grass-fed steak and a fucking salad is gonna kill you.
I think the real issue is buns and fries and soda and chips and cookies.
And the people that don't avoid eating meat, if they're not well-read about it, they're doing it because they don't give a fuck.
I'm gonna eat a burger because I want to eat a burger.
So you get a lot of that.
So in the people that avoid meat, you get a healthy user bias.
Because these are people that, even if it's not correct, I know people that truly believe that you can become a better athlete on a vegan diet.
I'm like, okay, but there's no pros who have ever done that.
No pros have ever gone vegan and been, especially at an explosive sport.
There's only, like, a few people out there.
Like, there's a guy named Martin Bacole.
Do you know who he is?
kyle dunnigan
Of course.
Martin Bacole from the Cincinnati Red Dogs.
joe rogan
No, you're making it up.
Martin Bacole is one of the best heavyweight boxers in the world.
He's this fucking enormous guy.
I think he's...
I don't remember what part of Africa he's from.
He might be Congolese.
He's a monster.
And he's a vegetarian.
Vegetarian. Fucking people up.
It's kind of crazy.
Like, one of the best heavyweight boxers of life.
Huge guy, and he's a vegetarian.
It's an aberration, though.
In vegetarian, you can still eat eggs.
Eggs are probably as good as anything.
If you want to eat, like, one protein and, you know, simple, easy to digest, has everything, eggs are pretty fucking solid.
kyle dunnigan
I eat eggs, like, every day.
I actually tried to night eat meat for a while, a few years ago, and you need, like, a nutritionist with you to really make sure you cover that.
joe rogan
Yeah, you got to get it.
All your vitamins correctly.
And then you've got to make sure you're not taking too many vitamins and which ones are water-soluble, which ones are fat-soluble.
kyle dunnigan
I just caught myself in the camera here.
I look ridiculous smoking this cigar.
joe rogan
You look like a man.
Thanks, Joe.
I like you more this way.
Great. Hide those things from people.
You shouldn't be able to look at yourself.
It's bad for you.
kyle dunnigan
I love it.
I love that.
Oh! Joe just turned the camera on.
joe rogan
It's just like reading the comments.
Don't do it.
kyle dunnigan
By the way, you know these young'uns, these young kids?
Let me go lecture.
What about John Larroquette?
joe rogan
You ever going to get to that?
kyle dunnigan
We'll get to it.
Let's not rush that story.
Let the podcast breathe for a second.
So these young kids now, I noticed this, women will do this, they'll be like, people say, I light up the room.
This woman told me this.
joe rogan
Who? Ever says, people say, I light up the room.
That actually lights up the room.
kyle dunnigan
That's what sometimes people say I'm funny.
But I've noticed that people tell you compliments they got.
And I'm like, why is this?
Because for our era, you never say, like, I'm great.
People think I'm great.
You never would say that.
But now, this is my theory.
I don't know if this is true.
They've grown up on Facebook where people say, you look so pretty.
And then everyone sees the compliment.
And now when they go out in the world and they get a compliment, then they're like, oh, I let people know my compliments.
Everyone sees the compliments.
That's probably exactly what it is.
That's my theory.
joe rogan
That's a very good theory.
I think that's dead on.
kyle dunnigan
I'm writing a book about it.
joe rogan
You should.
Make sure you do the audio yourself.
kyle dunnigan
I have no merch.
Yeah, I'm going to definitely yell you out.
joe rogan
You don't have any merch?
kyle dunnigan
No merch.
joe rogan
You should have Caitlyn Jenner merch.
unidentified
Yeah, baby!
Yeah, baby!
joe rogan
That was when I knew Comedy Central was doomed.
You and I were talking about it.
kyle dunnigan
Yeah, I sent you what they cut.
joe rogan
Yeah, we were having a conversation.
You showed it to me in the Comedy Store Green Room.
In the green room and the main room.
You were telling me the struggle you're going through.
kyle dunnigan
It was so stressful, that whole thing.
joe rogan
Well, you had this show that you were doing on your own that was amazing.
And it's one of those things like South Park, right?
Where South Park really works because they can do outrageous shit because you know it's not real.
Because they don't even look remotely human.
kyle dunnigan
Yeah, your brain knows.
joe rogan
You, when you were doing the face swaps with cell phone technology, you know?
What everybody can use.
It was obvious.
So something funny about it being clearly not Bill Maher.
It was clearly Kyle Dunagan.
It wasn't Kim Kardashian.
It was Kyle Dunagan.
It was the way you were doing it was super obvious.
Then the Comedy Central thing came along like this.
unidentified
Like, you get a beard.
kyle dunnigan
I mean, that looks ridiculous.
I didn't mean to have the beard.
unidentified
It started from the beginning.
kyle dunnigan
Wait, play a different episode.
unidentified
No, no, no.
kyle dunnigan
A different one.
This one's terrible.
unidentified
Listen, no one's buying my book.
So, yeah, I thought I would read a lecture to wet your whistle.
kyle dunnigan
All right, we can turn this off.
joe rogan
Turn it off.
kyle dunnigan
You tortured him.
joe rogan
If you want to put on a good one, put the good one where she...
What happened to her vagina?
I forget what it was.
Yeah. But they were all talking about something happened and she shoved a baby in her pussy.
kyle dunnigan
Yeah, that sounds like a bad idea.
unidentified
Oh, it was awful, girls.
For a minute there, I thought I was going to suffer the same fate as my nutsack.
kyle dunnigan
Oh, jeez.
unidentified
Yeah, baby.
kyle dunnigan
I want to apologize to the transgender.
unidentified
Yeah, did you save all of your clothes?
Yeah. The first thing I did when I saw the flames was grab my Fendi clutch and my Alexander McQueen stiletto pumps.
Then I ran back into the flames to get my Louis Vuitton alligator duffel, a bag so beautiful it demands attention.
My size 17 Jimmy Choo's and my dog Checkers.
But there was only enough time to save two of those things, girls!
Oh no!
The thick Sophie's choice was that.
What did you choose?
kyle dunnigan
This is what I do with my time?
unidentified
Checkers is fucking dead.
Checkers is dead.
Yeah, baby.
kyle dunnigan
That's what I'm doing with my time.
That's an old one.
joe rogan
But the fact that that's obvious made it better.
When they did it on Comedy Central, they used higher level technology.
And it was kind of weird.
kyle dunnigan
It's creepy.
It has that...
What is that?
joe rogan
Uncanny Valley.
kyle dunnigan
Yeah, your brain needs to know it's a joke.
joe rogan
Like, obvious.
Like, that's an obvious joke.
Like, no one's gonna look at that and go, what did Caitlyn Jenner say?
Now you look at that and you go, what is this?
Like, that's part of the fun of it, is it doesn't look real.
kyle dunnigan
Yeah, it's completely ridiculous.
I didn't mean to have a beard.
That was just, I was being lazy.
I wasn't, like, trying to make a joke.
By the way, I never did, I did impressions when I was younger.
When I was in middle school, I would do them.
And then I never...
I started doing...
A manager was like, don't do impressions.
And then that Face app came along, and I looked nothing like Trump.
The first one I was doing was Trump.
Because I did Trump years ago.
And I was like, oh, I can do Trump.
Because my face is the opposite of Trump.
joe rogan
Stormy! Stormy!
kyle dunnigan
Stormy! It's funny, I have the worst Trump.
Like, I did Trump first, and it's the worst one.
Now everyone does a better Trump.
joe rogan
It was fun, though.
It was a ridiculous character, though.
But it's, like, that's how I knew Comedy Central was doomed.
I'm like, if you guys are fucking this up, like, this show, he's giving it to you on a silver platter.
Just get out of the way.
All you had to do was get out of the way.
You were working with Metzger, right?
kyle dunnigan
Yeah, not at that moment.
joe rogan
Eventually you were.
Yeah, eventually, yeah.
All you have to do is get out of the way.
Just get out of the way.
Point a camera at it.
Tell him you're supporting him.
kyle dunnigan
Eventually there was a show.
I was doing full on.
I was just kind of doing little videos.
And then it became like I was crafting.
You were in one of them, Time Canceler.
We had crafted episodes.
joe rogan
What did we do in that one?
kyle dunnigan
You played Becky, the nurse.
Where's Time Canceler?
Just to show Joe.
I don't think you remember this.
You probably don't remember, but Time Canceler was like a full episode where no one ever was like, hey, we can make this.
And it wasn't dirty, and it got a lot of views.
Hollywood never was...
They were always like, no, thank you.
joe rogan
Yeah. They couldn't figure out...
kyle dunnigan
It is weird.
It is weird.
joe rogan
Well, it's just...
It's this weird marriage of comedy, creative people, and then business people, executives.
That's the weird marriage.
And because they've had a few hit shows before, or, you know, we're...
Producing South Park.
But you don't make it!
You can't make it yourself!
So you have this idea in your head that you're a part of the process.
And you've got an eye for creativity.
Oh, that's right.
kyle dunnigan
Nurse Becky.
You're really good in that.
joe rogan
Thank you.
kyle dunnigan
Do you come up to that on stage?
joe rogan
To Nurse Becky?
kyle dunnigan
Joe Rogan from the time canceler?
joe rogan
Well, a lot of people like to bring it up at the airport.
Yeah. Comes up there a lot.
kyle dunnigan
Do you have any, like, I don't want to be seen?
You just like people coming up to you?
How do you feel about that?
joe rogan
Most people are nice.
It's just people being nice.
Most people.
The vast majority of people, they just want to say hi.
They like what you do, and it's nice.
kyle dunnigan
You know, because of you, a lot of dudes come to my show, which is great.
joe rogan
Was it mostly girls before?
kyle dunnigan
It was mostly nobody.
It was mostly neither people were coming to my shows.
But now, it's great.
People are coming to my shows.
But it is like a sea of dudes.
I did a tour, and I started to count, like, are any girls coming to my show?
And the only ones that would come would be like, my boyfriend likes you.
They'd say something like that.
And, yeah, I saw thousands of people.
There was never, like, three girls came to see me or something.
It might be, like, one autistic girl.
No ladies.
joe rogan
Who likes to hear you say, yeah, baby!
unidentified
Yeah, baby!
joe rogan
Yeah! Wait till this Netflix episode of Kill Tony comes out.
kyle dunnigan
Oh my god, the wildest show.
That show is like a fever dream.
joe rogan
Wow. That show was so fun.
kyle dunnigan
Nothing else is going to be on Netflix like that.
Yeah. It was so fun.
joe rogan
We can't give anything away because it doesn't come out until Monday, so we don't want to give anything away.
Oh. But holy shit, was it funny.
kyle dunnigan
I love...
Tony's like...
I like when comedians do well, because it's so much pressure.
Can you imagine the pressure of these comedians?
It could change their...
And there's nothing...
When you're young, you don't even know how to make it in show business.
And there's just one show.
This was a direct link.
But it also works.
joe rogan
There's guys that have gone from that show that have real careers now.
Guys like Cam Patterson, William Montgomery.
These guys are going on the road.
They're selling out all over the place.
kyle dunnigan
Oh yeah, people love them.
joe rogan
David Lucas.
I mean, it's kind of incredible.
The fan base is rabid.
kyle dunnigan
Yeah, he's made a lot of careers.
joe rogan
They're selling out arenas this weekend in Nashville.
kyle dunnigan
I know.
They have the comedy baton right now.
The funny thing is, when someone doesn't do well, and it's dead silent, this makes me laugh, and Tony will go, holy shit!
joe rogan
Tony's the worst.
He's so mean.
kyle dunnigan
He's like, holy shit.
He's so good at roasting.
Oh my god.
joe rogan
He's the best at it.
There's no one close.
He's the best roaster ever.
unidentified
On that Tom Brady roast, he was a fucking savage.
Holy shit!
joe rogan
That Tom Brady roast was so important to comedy because it was the most watched thing ever in Netflix and it was the most unwoke thing that's ever been on television.
So it was like, it broke the dam.
kyle dunnigan
And Nikki Glaser was really funny.
Yeah, very funny.
joe rogan
Jeff Ross was great on it.
Schultz killed on it.
It was great.
Schultz. Having something like that was a big moment.
You know, like something that's just funny.
Like, fuck all these stupid rules.
We're talking shit.
This is just talking shit.
Everybody loves it.
kyle dunnigan
I think it seems like it's done.
It seems like everything else.
joe rogan
Well, it's not done with some people.
They're triple masking right now as they're listening to this.
I can't believe this.
kyle dunnigan
They're not listening to this.
joe rogan
They got a tie-dye mask on the outside.
They're kicking a Tesla on their way to the garage.
kyle dunnigan
I know a comedian who still goes on stage with a mask and has it the whole time and comes in the whole time.
I won't say...
joe rogan
Puts it on when he's talking into the microphone?
unidentified
Comes in with it.
kyle dunnigan
Comes in.
Maybe he takes it off.
No. Yeah.
I think he takes it off for the thing.
unidentified
People were doing comedy through masks.
kyle dunnigan
Very funny.
joe rogan
That's one of the dumbest fucking things of all time.
kyle dunnigan
You know what?
Maybe he has an immune disease.
I don't know.
unidentified
It doesn't.
joe rogan
Stay home.
It doesn't matter.
It's not helping you.
You're breathing into this fucking cloth that's an inch from your face and bacteria is going to accumulate there and moisture and it's probably going to be worse for you.
kyle dunnigan
Don't you hate it when you're doing stand-up and you accidentally mouth it?
Like that.
joe rogan
All the people.
kyle dunnigan
There's been 15 comedians before.
And comedians are disgusting.
Let's be honest.
We're all a disgusting group of people.
And you're just like, okay, I've got to just wait for this disease.
joe rogan
Wait for whatever.
Yeah, if someone's got a cold, we all have a cold.
That's one thing.
You're sharing a microphone with somebody who has the flu?
kyle dunnigan
I know a girl who brings her own microphone.
Swear to God.
The stand.
joe rogan
Really? Yeah.
Doesn't Eliza do that too?
kyle dunnigan
I don't know.
How's she doing?
joe rogan
I think she just released a special.
kyle dunnigan
You ever see her movie that's like weird because it's like some of it's funny then all of a sudden it's serious and you're like it goes back and forth from mixed genres they call it.
joe rogan
You know what she's on that I love?
kyle dunnigan
Righteous Gemstones?
Righteous Gemstones?
You know who else?
Edie Patterson.
I love her.
I was in the Groundlings with her.
We would do sketches.
Edie is like the daughter or something.
She's so funny.
She's just weird and funny.
joe rogan
It's a weird show.
It's a funny show, man.
Like, I can't believe nobody told me to watch it.
unidentified
Maybe they did.
kyle dunnigan
There's too many shows.
I have a thing where I'm like, can you just not tell me another good show?
Too many shows.
I'm not caught up.
The Baldwins, you watching that?
joe rogan
No. Was it a sitcom?
kyle dunnigan
It's a reality show, but Alec Baldwin and his terrible wife.
unidentified
Why would you watch?
kyle dunnigan
She's an awful...
Because I watch what women watch.
That's what I enjoy.
joe rogan
Does she fake the accent?
I'll watch it if she fakes the accent.
kyle dunnigan
Yeah, she fakes...
Does she?
She is...
joe rogan
She doesn't understand the words?
Yeah. How do you say it in English?
unidentified
Cucumber? Cucumber?
kyle dunnigan
And he goes along with it.
Do you have that, her shushing him at like a red carpet?
unidentified
I saw it.
kyle dunnigan
Isn't it just awful?
joe rogan
Yeah, I'm talking.
unidentified
You're not talking when I'm talking.
kyle dunnigan
I'm talking, you don't talking when I'm talking.
Alex Baldwin can get like a really sweet, beautiful woman.
He's Alex Baldwin.
What happened?
joe rogan
He would yell, they would run away.
kyle dunnigan
He would yell?
I mean, he would yell.
joe rogan
He would yell at them.
They'd run away.
Who knows?
Who knows what these two are like?
They both look like they're out of their fucking minds.
kyle dunnigan
And I'm sure it's edited, but he comes off way better than her.
joe rogan
Maybe he's doing that on purpose.
Maybe that's a clever move.
Let her say crazy shit.
Don't check her.
Let her come off looking like a nut.
Maybe they planned it.
Maybe they have a wonderful relationship and they said, listen, this is not going to sell.
kyle dunnigan
She humiliated him.
Maybe you're right.
It'd go viral.
joe rogan
Listen, you are going to shut me up and I'm not even going to comment on it.
Plus, I just killed a lady.
kyle dunnigan
It does make you forget about when he killed that lady.
joe rogan
It's a good way to make you forget.
The other good way is you change your gender.
kyle dunnigan
Oh, yeah.
joe rogan
That's another good way.
unidentified
I mean, Bruce killed that lady with a car, baby.
kyle dunnigan
That was Bruce.
joe rogan
Just Bruce.
kyle dunnigan
That was like right after that.
Have you ever seen the footage of the car?
The reenactment.
Like, she was putting on lipstick or something.
She was very distracted.
What did I say about Alec Baldwin?
Hold on.
joe rogan
No, he was.
You said she.
You shouldn't say she.
kyle dunnigan
What did I say?
joe rogan
You said she was.
Please correct yourself.
That was back when she was Bruce.
kyle dunnigan
She was him.
joe rogan
Oh, was she always Bruce?
What does it say in the Olympics?
kyle dunnigan
Deadname. What?
joe rogan
Can you deadname in the Olympics?
Is that allowed?
Deadname, it kind of went away, huh?
Yeah. That didn't work.
People are like, wait, you can't kick people out of the social square for life because they won't accept this bizarre new thing you're doing.
There it is.
Bruce Jenner.
Still says Bruce.
Wow, look how jacked he was.
kyle dunnigan
Oh, yeah.
joe rogan
Back then it was he.
unidentified
There's that nut shack.
You can see the nut shack, yeah.
Nah. Did he have the...
kyle dunnigan
I think...
I have no information, but I think so.
joe rogan
You're holding back.
Do you work for the government?
kyle dunnigan
Eh. I know a guy.
joe rogan
I'll tell Trump to release the files.
unidentified
So terrifically.
You're a terrific guy.
joe rogan
Are we getting new files, Jamie?
Has anything happened?
kyle dunnigan
What happened with the...
joe rogan
Oliver Stone apparently testified about the JFK assassination.
kyle dunnigan
What does he know?
How does he know?
joe rogan
He knows everything about it.
kyle dunnigan
How does he know?
joe rogan
He's literally a warehouse of information on the JFK assassination.
Before the podcast, during the podcast, after the podcast.
He wouldn't stop talking about it.
kyle dunnigan
Is it Terrence Howard information?
joe rogan
No. No, it's Oliver Stone.
He's a brilliant guy.
Oliver Stone can give you...
He could sit down and break down just from recall.
And how old is Oliver Stone?
Like... Complete recall of dates, times, who was involved, who they worked for before this happened, who Kennedy had fired, why they were on the Warren Commission Report, what the Warren Commission Report's objectives were,
who was influencing it, who saw the gunshots in the grass, you know, how did they die in mysterious circumstances.
kyle dunnigan
He's like...
joe rogan
Rattle it all off, off the top of his head.
kyle dunnigan
And he's like...
joe rogan
He tells Congress to reinvestigate the 1963 assassination, starting at the scene of the crime.
Like, I'm telling you, man, the movie he did is, you know, great movie.
Kevin Costner, wonderful movie.
But talking to him about it is where you really freak out.
Like, this guy has been studying the JFK assassination forever.
kyle dunnigan
And he thinks it was a CIA or a hit?
joe rogan
You know, no one knows.
And until you get all these files, no one's going to know.
And even once you get all these files...
You're still going to connect dots.
And it's not like there's a page.
Page 24. Mike did it.
Oh! Fucking Mike!
Yeah, Mike was in the grassy knoll.
I told him, shoot that Irish cocksucker.
He's going to rob us.
No, there's none of that.
You're going to get...
Certain details that weren't available before for national security reasons or for whatever, but if they had made some sort of a declaration that Kennedy was a problem that needed to be removed, that would be like as close to a smoking gun as you would get.
But they could probably get away with saying things like that in 1963, you know, especially like people that worked at that.
They were doing nutty shit in 63, like really nutty shit.
That's the same year as Operation Northwoods.
What's that one?
Operation Northwoods was this crazy idea that was drummed up.
It was a false flag idea that was drummed up and literally signed by the Joint Chiefs of Staff.
They gave this a green light and then vetoed by Kennedy.
And what they were going to do is they're going to have a bunch of false flag attacks.
They were going to blow up a jetliner and they were going to blame it on Cuba and they were going to arm Cuban friendlies.
Bomb Guantanamo Bay.
They were going to literally kill American citizens.
And the idea was, do this false flag, blame it on Cuba, then we have to go to war with Cuba.
And Kennedy was like, what?
The fuck are you doing?
No. And then there's the other one, which is the Bay of Pigs.
So they informed Kennedy about the Bay of Pigs.
Apparently, they informed him about it late in the process, and he denied them air support.
So the whole plan of invading Cuba, the Bay of Pigs, was dependent upon air support.
They didn't get air support because Kennedy said no to it.
All these people died that didn't have to die.
All these American soldiers died that didn't have to die.
And my friend Evan Hafer from Black Rifle Coffee, he had a very good point.
He said, if you wanted to look at someone who had a bone to pick, who was like a hardened killer, those guys who got stranded at that beach, those would be the kind of guys that would want to kill Kennedy.
There was probably a lot of people that wanted to kill Kennedy.
There was probably the mob wanted to kill him because the mob got him in.
You know, the whole thing that happened with Illinois, like him winning Illinois.
Very shaky stuff, right?
kyle dunnigan
Very shaky election.
joe rogan
So the mob got him in, and then his brother starts going after the mob.
Yeah. Like, hey, fuckface.
Like, what kind of deal is this?
And then you've got, he's trying to get rid of the CIA.
He wants to get rid of all these, like, he gives that speech about privacy, about having these...
Private groups and having secrecy and secret societies.
Have you ever seen that speech about secret societies?
kyle dunnigan
That Kennedy made?
Yeah. No.
joe rogan
It's really creepy.
He's talking about how secret societies are repugnant and that he's essentially calling out the shadow government.
He's calling out all these people that are involved in these organizations, literally from like Yale, like the Skull and Bones that they're all in.
All these creepy frat boys join the Skull and Bones.
Then one day they wind up ruling the world.
Like it's kind of Harry Potter-ish.
It's bizarrely, you know, on the nose as far as what it is.
But he was calling that stuff out in the 60s as well.
And then they kill him.
And then you don't hear a peep about any of that stuff anymore.
kyle dunnigan
And we will get to the John Larroquette story, just anybody listening.
joe rogan
Let's listen to Kennedy talk about secret societies.
kyle dunnigan
I want to see that, yeah.
joe rogan
Secret societies.
kyle dunnigan
Era secret societies.
joe rogan
It's a very creepy speech when you think about the fact that they killed him, like, less than a year later, I believe.
kyle dunnigan
What about the back and the left?
This is what I heard.
I don't know any information.
But in Oliver Stone, he was like, back and to the left.
But someone was saying, no, your head would do that because it, like, From the shot from the back, your head would, like, recoil back.
I don't know anything.
joe rogan
Well, we could look at that, too.
Let's hear it.
The speech that killed him about secret society.
john f kennedy
The very word secrecy is repugnant in a free and open society.
And we are, as a people, inherently and historically opposed to secret societies, to secret oaths, and to secret proceedings.
We decided long ago that the dangers of excessive and unwarranted concealment of pertinent facts far outweigh the dangers which are cited to justify it.
Even today, there is little value in opposing the threat of a closed society by imitating its arbitrary restrictions.
Even today, there is little value in ensuring the survival of our nation.
If our traditions do not survive with it.
And there is very grave danger that an announced need for increased security will be seized upon by those anxious to expand its meaning to the very limits of official censorship and concealment.
That I do not intend to permit to the extent that it's in my control.
And no official of my administration, whether his rank is high or low, civilian or military, Should interpret my words here tonight as an excuse to censor the news, to stifle dissent, to cover up our mistakes,
or to withhold from the press and the public the facts they deserve to know.
For we are opposed around the world by a monolithic and ruthless conspiracy that relies primarily on covet means for expanding its sphere of influence, on infiltration instead of invasion,
on subversion instead of elections, on intimidation instead of free choice, on guerrillas by night instead of armies by day.
It is a system which has conscripted vast human and material resources into the building of a tightly knit, highly efficient machine that combines military, diplomatic, intelligence, economic,
scientific, and political.
Its preparations are concealed, not published.
Its mistakes are buried, not headlined.
Its dissenters are silenced, not praised.
No expenditure is questioned.
No rumor is printed.
No secret is revealed.
No president should fear public scrutiny of his program, for from that scrutiny comes understanding, and from that understanding comes support or opposition.
And both are necessary.
joe rogan
Why did we become so retarded?
Like, listen to how genius what he's saying is and how eloquently he's describing the problem.
kyle dunnigan
People don't talk like that anymore.
joe rogan
No, we don't talk like that anymore.
And if we did talk like that, people would be like, what did he just say?
kyle dunnigan
Yeah, I didn't understand a word.
joe rogan
I understood half of those words.
This is 1963.
We're dumber now.
kyle dunnigan
Oh, yeah.
joe rogan
With more access to information.
kyle dunnigan
Than we were in 63. And people think they're smarter because their phone, they think that's them, too.
I tried Grok, too, and it was really cool.
I kind of felt like, I don't know, you could just see liking your AI friend.
joe rogan
That's a problem with people.
Grok is saying some wild shit to folks.
kyle dunnigan
Oh, I know they have the different kind of stuff.
joe rogan
Also, if you ask Grok if you were purely evil and you wanted to destroy society.
How would you do it?
And Grok essentially describes everything that's happening in society.
kyle dunnigan
Yeah. It's like Idiocracy, you know that movie?
joe rogan
Idiocracy, yeah.
kyle dunnigan
Idiocracy, yeah.
It's happening.
joe rogan
Idiocracy was very charitable in terms of their version of the future in comparison to what we're experiencing.
Yes! Because they didn't figure in cell phone addiction.
kyle dunnigan
Yeah, you know what makes me laugh is when you look at like a 70s movie about the future and like what they got right and wrong.
First of all, we don't do the FaceTime as much as they thought we were going to just do that all the time.
We're like, no, we don't want that.
Another funny thing is like the back of TVs are like TVs are never going to get rid of the back.
They're going to have flying cars.
Where do you put the stuff?
joe rogan
It's always going to be a big box.
kyle dunnigan
Yeah. And they're like, oh, there's no more racism in the future.
joe rogan
And you have flying cars.
Where's the flying cars?
kyle dunnigan
Yeah, no flying cars, no...
joe rogan
No racism.
There's no black people.
Watch the Jetsons.
They don't have a single black person.
unidentified
Oh, that's true.
kyle dunnigan
Yeah, yeah.
joe rogan
That was our show.
Need your Jetson?
And then they'd be flying around in your flying car.
kyle dunnigan
What year was that supposed to be?
Did they say, like, this is 2012?
joe rogan
Let's take a guess.
What is it?
jamie vernon
Oh, wait.
kyle dunnigan
Sorry. My cigar keeps going out.
Is that a sign of manlyhood?
jamie vernon
It came out in 2006.
joe rogan
It's like a limp dick.
kyle dunnigan
I shouldn't be doing this at all.
joe rogan
2006? What?
jamie vernon
No. That's when it came out.
That's when the movie was released.
kyle dunnigan
No, I mean like when the Jetsons...
joe rogan
No, no, no.
Not Idiocracy.
The Jetsons.
What year is the Jetsons supposed to be?
Idiocracy was supposed to be 2020 what?
jamie vernon
2,500.
joe rogan
Oh, 2,000.
That's probably...
Again, very charitable.
kyle dunnigan
Yeah, and by the way...
joe rogan
We could have a pro wrestling president right now, by the way.
kyle dunnigan
Oh, yeah.
joe rogan
The Rock, you know.
kyle dunnigan
I like that guy.
joe rogan
Are we allowed to say that?
I think they wanted The Rock to run.
kyle dunnigan
Rock could win.
I went to the gym with The Rock when I was in L.A. Not a brag, I'm just telling you the facts.
We went to the same gym.
joe rogan
Did you always get pumped?
kyle dunnigan
Yeah, we got ripped.
This was before he was really famous.
But there was this restaurant nearby, and I was there, and he got a stack of, like, ten burgers.
That's all he ate.
And I was like, who's that fucking guy?
joe rogan
He's an enormous dude.
kyle dunnigan
He was just wrestling back then.
jamie vernon
He could be the president.
kyle dunnigan
He couldn't lift the weight I was doing.
He went to the machine and he had to go down.
It was kind of humiliating.
jamie vernon
I found a year for the Jetsons.
joe rogan
Okay, let's guess.
Okay. I want to say 1998.
1999. I'm going to say 1999.
No way!
jamie vernon
Yeah. For reference to what came out, 1962 was the debut.
kyle dunnigan
2000, 2000, this year, 2020.
joe rogan
1999. What is it?
jamie vernon
It's apparently 100 years into the future.
So, 2062.
joe rogan
Oh, okay.
kyle dunnigan
Not gonna happen, though.
None of...
joe rogan
No? No.
They didn't figure out phones.
Even Star Trek didn't figure out cell phones.
There was a walkie-talkie.
Kirk out.
He had to, like, shut his little walkie-talkie off.
kyle dunnigan
They did it?
Yeah, Kirk didn't have any hats.
joe rogan
Oh, did you see this fucking warp drive thing?
kyle dunnigan
No, but I love space and all this stuff, so I want to see this.
joe rogan
Yeah, somebody sent me this.
This is very, very strange.
kyle dunnigan
I took physics in college.
Not to brag, but just telling you guys facts.
joe rogan
I bet you did, dude.
kyle dunnigan
You know, I never thought of doing something else, but I love other things.
And for some reason, I just was like taking acting classes.
joe rogan
What did you like about physics?
kyle dunnigan
I always...
I love, like, outer space and just science stuff.
I just always have, like, an interest in it.
And in school, I was very...
I didn't score well, but, like, physics, I did well because it was, like, wasn't a lot of reading.
It wasn't dense reading.
joe rogan
What is the problem with you and reading?
kyle dunnigan
Well, I never got tested, but I did take Spanish, and she goes, you write all your B's and D's backwards.
So I'm assuming I had dyslexia.
joe rogan
How old were you, though?
kyle dunnigan
I was in high school, but I always read.
So, like, my parents were cool.
They'd send me to speed reading classes.
They weren't, back then, in my day, they weren't like, you have a reading disorder.
They were like, you're dumb and you need to read faster.
joe rogan
Yeah, you suck.
kyle dunnigan
Yeah, there was no test.
No one had dyslexia.
joe rogan
So dyslexia is like you see things backwards?
Is that what it is?
kyle dunnigan
It's sort of like you flip things.
So I actually put a dyslexia app on my computer, and it sort of, like, makes the font so I don't flip.
joe rogan
So you do have dyslexia.
kyle dunnigan
Definitely. I never was tested, but this app, I read much faster with it, so I'm assuming I do.
joe rogan
I took the medicine, it got better, so I assume I had it.
kyle dunnigan
Yeah, that's kind of what it was.
joe rogan
Jamie, I sent you that warp drive thing.
unidentified
I don't like labels, Joe.
kyle dunnigan
I don't want to label myself with a disease.
I can read.
joe rogan
DARPA-funded researchers accidentally discovered the world's first warp bubble.
Warp drive pioneer and former NASA warp drive specialist Dr. Harold G. Sonny White has reported the discovery of an actual real-world warp bubble.
And according to White, the first-of-its-kind breakthrough by Limitless Space Institute's team sets up a new starting point for those trying to manufacture a full-sized, warp-capable spacecraft.
They added our detailed numerical analysis of our custom Casimir cavities.
I don't know what that means.
Helped us identify a real and manufacturable nanomicrostructure that is predicted to generate a negative vacuum energy density such that it would manifest a real nanoscale warp bubble.
Not an analog, but the real thing.
In other words, a warp bubble structure will manifest under these specific conditions.
White cautioned that this does not mean we are building a fully functioning warp drive, as much more science needs to be done.
jamie vernon
All right, so if this was 2021, when I Googled to find it to try to see what you're talking about, I found this article just came out three days ago.
joe rogan
Oh, three days ago.
jamie vernon
It's about an email, though.
joe rogan
Warp drive think tank adds Harvard astrophysicists and warp theorists to advance planetary defense.
jamie vernon
So you're talking about warp drive as an asteroid collection or something or other?
joe rogan
So you're going to throw a warp drive around an asteroid to keep it from killing us?
jamie vernon
I don't know, yeah.
joe rogan
Could have profound effects on planetary defense, advanced propulsion, and warp drive detection.
Maybe that's where asteroids are coming from.
Someone shot an asteroid.
Something's coming at their car.
They whacked it out of the window and it hit your car.
Yeah. You know what I mean?
kyle dunnigan
That's what's happening.
We got the asteroid belt.
joe rogan
Smack that bird, and it went into your window.
kyle dunnigan
Yeah, yeah.
That's what's happening in outer space.
joe rogan
I wonder if that's what's happening.
I wonder if they see an asteroid coming, they just throw a warp bubble at it, and it just appears somewhere else.
Not my problem.
kyle dunnigan
That'd be cool.
joe rogan
It just shows up.
kyle dunnigan
Jupiter saves us from all our little strikes.
Yeah. We do have a perfect setup, but then...
joe rogan
Okay, so this is no coincidence.
We are working on something historic.
When pushed for a timeline and list of goals for the team's newest project, Martire?
Martire? How do you think you say that?
M-A-R-T-I-R-E?
unidentified
Martire. Martire.
joe rogan
It said, yes, they exist, but we can't disclose those details at this time.
He said, seemingly boundless passion.
Practically coming through in print.
You'll understand why once I'm able to show you.
It's rad.
Applied Physics is currently hiring.
Okay. It won't tell you what it is.
Great. So this is what I've been thinking a lot of these fucking UAP things are.
kyle dunnigan
Yes, I want to know what you think.
joe rogan
That's what I think.
I think some of it has got to be ours.
And I think if I had some shit that I did want the general public to know that I had and I wanted to protect it from like espionage, didn't want enemies to find out about it, I would say it's not mine.
I'd say it's coming from outer space.
It's not of this world.
jamie vernon
Yeah, there was an article standing there in a race to build the world's first working warp drive.
joe rogan
Jesus. Warp theorists say we've entered an exotic propulsion space race to build the world's first working warp drive.
All this is happening while AI is becoming sentient.
Did you hear that?
AI passed the Turing test.
kyle dunnigan
Is this recently?
joe rogan
Yeah, it was an article from yesterday.
AI passes Turing test for the first time.
kyle dunnigan
Yeah, it learns like exponential.
People think...
It's happening so fast.
joe rogan
You know what the Turing test is?
kyle dunnigan
Yeah, to see if it can be passed as a human.
joe rogan
Yeah, if it passes as a human to everyone.
kyle dunnigan
I don't think I could pass the Turing test.
joe rogan
Terrifying study reveals AI robots have passed Turing tests and now are indistinguishable from human, scientists say.
kyle dunnigan
Yeah. Bro, we're so fucked.
I think the good thing is it'll probably cure loneliness a little bit.
Like old people can go, robot friend, that's good.
joe rogan
100%, but it's going to be real weird.
Be complete population collapse.
No bullshit.
kyle dunnigan
Because of the jobs they replace?
joe rogan
The jobs they replace, people having no desire to take care of kids or have kids, when you can give a robot girlfriend...
kyle dunnigan
Yeah, a robot girlfriend would be cool.
You also...
unidentified
You thought about...
joe rogan
You're like, yeah, we're all gonna die.
Robot girlfriend would be cool to get a nut inside this robot.
kyle dunnigan
They're gonna probably sell their vaginas separately to get the actual cash.
joe rogan
A robot girlfriend that you have to keep alive with cum.
It's the only way to keep her alive.
I got the one.
You gotta fill her up every day or she just gets narcolepsy and falls asleep.
kyle dunnigan
What about meaning?
That's a problem, I think.
Robots would be better at everything, even already just songs.
I write music just for fun, but it's a talent that doesn't matter anymore.
They write very good songs already.
joe rogan
Have you ever seen one of those photos of the entire Milky Way galaxy and there's a little dot of the earth?
kyle dunnigan
Yes, it's very disturbing.
joe rogan
Now imagine meaning.
kyle dunnigan
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
The blue dot.
joe rogan
It's all us.
It's all subjective.
Meaning is meaning to us because we think we're super important.
But if we get surpassed by a superior life form that we actually create...
Meaning. What does meaning mean anymore?
It doesn't mean anything anymore if you don't have emotions.
If you're the superior life form and emotions don't exist anymore because you don't have a human reward system that's built in through thousands and thousands of years of evolution.
kyle dunnigan
You need a job, just to not have a job, but an identity.
joe rogan
Yeah, the sun needs meaning.
That's why it went supernova.
It needed meaning.
Totally. And it just came to help it.
unidentified
It's just like, see me.
joe rogan
The sun needed to be seen.
I felt so unseen as the sun that I had to blow out a solar flare and kill everyone's satellites.
unidentified
Yeah. It's meaning is our thing.
joe rogan
And we decide that meaning is important.
But objectively, for the universe, it's clearly not.
kyle dunnigan
Oh, the universe?
joe rogan
No. We are a tiny little fucking spot in the universe.
unidentified
I know.
joe rogan
So, like, what does meaning mean?
It only means something to us because we need meaning.
kyle dunnigan
What do you suggest people do, though, if they start to get, they don't have a good job they have to do, the robots do everything, we have universal income, and you're just, like, I went on vacation for three days and I was miserable.
joe rogan
Yeah. You have to find something you enjoy, like, as humans.
But again, this is just humans.
With the robot fuck ladies and, you know, free food, there will be no more babies.
The robot fuck ladies will take care of your...
kyle dunnigan
The robot fuck ladies will...
joe rogan
They're gonna be a real problem.
unidentified
But the...
joe rogan
They're gonna be a real problem.
It's gonna be, like, that...
Just look at how many incels just stay at home now and play video games.
Like, the number of men who never have sex and the number of men who have no girlfriends is, like, higher than it's ever been.
kyle dunnigan
Yeah, and then if you fall in love with your robot girlfriend, she's going to be really nice to you.
jamie vernon
A robot brothel legal?
Or no?
unidentified
Ew! That's what you pay for.
jamie vernon
You pay for a fresh silicone mold every time or something.
joe rogan
Legal, though?
kyle dunnigan
Ew. Definitely legal.
Ew. It's legal to fuck your car, I think.
joe rogan
It might be.
If it's in the garage.
kyle dunnigan
Yeah, not out in public.
joe rogan
You can't fucking cry out in public.
kyle dunnigan
You've seen that guy who fell in love with his car, that video.
joe rogan
That's not real.
unidentified
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
kyle dunnigan
It's the real thing.
joe rogan
Are you sure?
And he let him film him, and he kept it together while the cameras were on him, for real?
Yeah. You ever think maybe they just set that up because it's stupid?
kyle dunnigan
Well, if he's as good an actor, it's Daniel Day-Lewis maybe, but this was very beautiful.
And he tells his dad, and it's...
joe rogan
That he's in love with his car?
kyle dunnigan
People fall in love like weird shit.
It's just like a fetish thing.
joe rogan
Bro, this is fake.
This is so fake.
This is TLC.
kyle dunnigan
I love that.
joe rogan
This is like those people that eat toilet paper.
kyle dunnigan
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, he loves it.
joe rogan
Nah, I don't believe it.
Unless he's got like a real brain injury.
kyle dunnigan
That's good.
joe rogan
He got hit by a line drive when he was six.
Objectophilia. Oh boy.
kyle dunnigan
It's a disease, Joe.
These people have diseases.
joe rogan
I think that's a problem having too many names for stuff like narcolepsy.
kyle dunnigan
Narcolepse, we need a name for it.
joe rogan
Just figure it out.
The people that were saying dyslexia, figure it out.
Stop falling asleep.
Stop breathing backwards.
kyle dunnigan
Figure it out.
I did feel dumb, though.
I wish I had that name.
So I have a disease.
joe rogan
ADHD, that's a weird one.
Some people say that's not a real thing.
kyle dunnigan
If I grew up earlier, I would have been diagnosed on some kind of spectrum.
I used to fly a kite to like...
I used to fly a kite until I peed my pants.
That's a good move.
Tongue out.
joe rogan
Nice way to meet the ladies.
kyle dunnigan
Oh, yeah.
unidentified
Pissing your pants in a fucking balsa wood structure.
kyle dunnigan
Peeing my pants.
joe rogan
Flying in the air behind you.
kyle dunnigan
Yeah, I just loved it.
That's a very Asperger-y, I think.
joe rogan
Well, look, if you want things that are extraordinary, you need people that are on the spectrum.
That's a fact.
It's one thing we should thank vaccines for.
There's a lot of fascinating people have come out of that spectrum.
A little lead paint here, a little fucking pesticide there.
kyle dunnigan
Touch it all.
joe rogan
Next thing you know, you got some inflammation and some really good math.
kyle dunnigan
We grew up, like, we're near the same image, I think, where I think the worst food, like, when we were developing, like, the 70s food was just 80s.
Just the biggest...
I remember just having that macaroni and cheese microwaved on this plastic tray.
joe rogan
Oh, yeah.
kyle dunnigan
It's just all chemicals.
joe rogan
Chemicals. And that was my lunch.
kyle dunnigan
Microplastics. Peanut butter and fluff.
You ever eat that?
Oh. That was like lunch.
Yeah. I'm going to have a marshmallow for lunch.
joe rogan
Fluff or nutter sandwich.
kyle dunnigan
And Wonder Bread, which is also...
joe rogan
Sugar. And we ate garbage.
kyle dunnigan
I used to go...
I played golf obsessively for a while.
I would walk 18 holes.
I'd have a Snickers and a Sprite.
I'd walk another 18 holes.
I did this day after day.
I was big into routine stuff.
That was when I was growing.
So I may have been taller.
I just had carrots.
joe rogan
You just ate Snickers and Sprites?
kyle dunnigan
By the way, this was like a country club.
We didn't grow up rich.
But my dad...
Like, for, like, three years at this Country Hope.
And the food was free.
Like, you had to spend, like, $1,000 a month or whatever on food.
And no one else was going.
My dad worked really hard.
And I was the only one going.
And instead of getting a lobster every day, we had Snickers.
It was, like, 13-year-old Kyle.
joe rogan
Damn. Yeah.
At least you got peanuts in the Snickers.
unidentified
Got a little bit of protein.
kyle dunnigan
Which isn't even a nut.
It's a legume, by the way.
joe rogan
I wish Snickers were good for you.
They're fucking delicious.
It's a great snack to take when you're hiking.
kyle dunnigan
I found one in my car.
joe rogan
Lord Sandwich was a very conversant gambler.
What's a conversant gambler?
jamie vernon
He gambled a lot.
He wouldn't leave the table.
joe rogan
Story goes, did not take the time to have a meal during his long hours playing at the cards table.
Consequently, he would ask his servants to bring him slices of meat between two slices of bread, a habit known amongst his gambling friends.
Wow. So he just wanted to eat quick.
jamie vernon
Hence the sandwich.
unidentified
Wow. No one thought of that.
kyle dunnigan
I guess, yeah.
joe rogan
Just because he's a gambling.
So he's a degenerate.
kyle dunnigan
I want to promote my crypto coin real quick.
That's my merch.
joe rogan
Yeah, baby coin.
unidentified
Yeah, baby coin.
Skyrocketing, yeah.
joe rogan
You ever thought about making a coin?
unidentified
It's zero.
joe rogan
Anybody can do it now.
kyle dunnigan
Oh, Joe Rogan coin.
That'd be good.
joe rogan
Good way to rip people off.
Yeah. We thought about doing it, but we were like, what is it?
Do. What can you buy with it?
How does it work?
kyle dunnigan
It's total gambling.
joe rogan
Kurt Metzger said it best.
He's like, it's just fucking gamblers.
They're gambling addicts.
kyle dunnigan
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's a total...
joe rogan
That's what the crypto coin thing is.
It's a bunch of gambling addicts.
And they're all gambling on these meme coins.
Yeah. And they're making money.
Some of them are making money.
And there's shifty deals and pumping dumps.
unidentified
Yeah, it's really shady.
joe rogan
But it's kind of legal.
It's weird.
The whole thing's weird.
kyle dunnigan
It is a little bit of, like, if you fall for this, well, you shouldn't have money kind of thing, too.
Like, alright, did you really?
joe rogan
How's that Trump coin doing?
Not good?
kyle dunnigan
I think Bitcoin is...
joe rogan
Oh, is it because of the economy?
So, are you paying attention to all this tariff stuff?
You're not.
unidentified
No, no, I am.
I actually am very interested in finance.
kyle dunnigan
No, I watch videos of finance.
I watch finance videos like every night.
I'm very into it.
I've actually learned so much because of YouTube because I can watch the things and I realize I'm actually interested in a lot of things.
Yes, I know something about this tariff.
joe rogan
It just dropped while we're watching it.
jamie vernon
Ah, shit.
$9. It's actually doubled today.
joe rogan
It's dropping while we're watching.
unidentified
It's dropping.
jamie vernon
50% today.
joe rogan
Because people are gambling.
Jesus. They're buying and selling.
So what is it worth now?
jamie vernon
$9.37.
joe rogan
And what was it worth at its height?
jamie vernon
$80. $80.
joe rogan
Wow. $75.
kyle dunnigan
Get your Trump coin.
What did he make off that?
joe rogan
Very weird.
jamie vernon
I'm very curious.
joe rogan
How does that work?
jamie vernon
$2 billion market cap.
joe rogan
$2 billion.
kyle dunnigan
Still? At $9?
joe rogan
So that's what it's worth now.
Does that mean all the Trump coins are worth $2 billion?
Is that what it means?
Collectively. Collectively.
kyle dunnigan
That was worth like $40 billion.
joe rogan
Look at the big spike in the beginning and then a bunch of people like, sucker!
kyle dunnigan
That is a total...
joe rogan
That has to be what happened, right?
Like, how many people sold the next day?
What did Trump make off that?
How many days is it?
Scroll your thing over there.
How many days do you have?
You have hours.
You have hours before a giant drop-off.
Look at that.
You have 12 hours, and then by Sunday, the 19th, it drops radically.
kyle dunnigan
But I bet those first 12 hours, most people couldn't trade it.
joe rogan
But look at that first 12 hours.
That! Is crypto coins.
That's meme coins.
Not like Bitcoin, not like Ethereum, but that is a meme coin.
That first thing, that explosion, that's what I expect.
That's what I expect.
But I also, I support it.
Why not?
If you can do that, if you can go fucking play cards, if you can figure out a way to three-card money people on the streets of New York, okay.
kyle dunnigan
I used to play poker all the time.
I went through a phase.
I actually won the Borgata tournament.
I won a tournament there.
I had $6,000 in my...
I had lost my luggage on a flight like weeks before.
I'm like, I'm not going to lose this cash because I didn't have too much money.
So I put like $3,000 or something in my suitcase.
I'm going to put like $3,000 in my pants because I'm not going to lose this money.
And then I missed my flight.
So now I slept over the airport with like giant wads.
joe rogan
But you made it.
kyle dunnigan
I made it back.
joe rogan
So why'd you stop playing?
Was it too much?
kyle dunnigan
A waste of time.
Yeah, like, I actually really studied, and I, you know, was winning.
Didn't make a ton of money, but, like, I didn't lose, you know, a big amount of money.
I think I'm, like, probably after playing one million hours, I'm up, like, four dollars.
unidentified
You know what I mean?
kyle dunnigan
It's, like, a total waste of my life.
joe rogan
Ari was doing it in the early days of his comedy career.
He was making money doing that.
Yeah. That's how he'd make a living.
He'd play in tournaments.
kyle dunnigan
Yeah, you can, especially in like Vegas, like with people come into, you know, there's having fun.
You can just be very disciplined.
joe rogan
He would go to those card casinos that were out in California, like Bellflower.
kyle dunnigan
I know you're talking about bicycle casino, commerce.
Yeah. They're like, hey, Kyle!
Kyle's back.
joe rogan
Oh, yeah.
You were there a lot, huh?
kyle dunnigan
But I just, I stopped.
It's a waste of time.
joe rogan
Well, for Ari, that was literally how he made a living when he wasn't making a living doing comedy yet.
Yeah. He was that good.
And he's, like, really disciplined.
Or he's very disciplined.
Organized. Like, he doesn't do anything stupid.
kyle dunnigan
Texas Hold'em is all, like, just gotta fold, fold, fold, fold, you know, and just, you know, really be really disciplined.
People just start fucking around and get drunk, and you're just...
joe rogan
Yeah, you have to understand how many cards there are.
If you have this, there's different guys, you see the cards that are on the table, you have to do calculations.
kyle dunnigan
There's the math of it, and just, once you know that, it's like, and then it becomes second nature, you know, kind of right away.
And then it's ESP.
joe rogan
Yeah. Read people's minds knowing their bullshit.
unidentified
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
kyle dunnigan
I went up to Vegas once and I was depressed.
I never get depressed.
But situationally, I was like, I'm going to go just take five grand.
I just drove to Vegas like a lunatic by myself.
By yourself?
joe rogan
Yeah. What time did you leave the house?
kyle dunnigan
No idea.
I don't remember.
joe rogan
Daytime or nighttime, though?
That's important.
Because it takes four hours to get there.
kyle dunnigan
Oh, it was like...
5pm-ish, it was like later.
I was actually about to do a show, a live show on my YouTube channel and I was under so much stress.
You know, I'm just like editing and writing and then it's just like all me and I just was like gonna, you know, all these characters.
I just was like really stressed out and I didn't think the show was good and I'm like just didn't do it and I just went.
This is on top of I was, the pandemic I was so isolated and then it was too much alone.
You know, kind of thing.
For a lot of people, I think.
Yeah, I think that kind of fucked me up a little bit.
joe rogan
It cracked quite a few people.
Yeah. Especially the most vulnerable amongst us.
You know, a lot of comedians are like very kind of socially awkward already.
You isolate them.
kyle dunnigan
Yeah, you're staring at me pretty hard.
joe rogan
LA. No, I'm not.
I'm not thinking about you at all.
kyle dunnigan
I'm just kidding.
joe rogan
But there's some of us that just like kind of never came back from it.
You know?
kyle dunnigan
I haven't had a steady girlfriend since.
I think maybe I got weird or something.
joe rogan
Did you?
Do you feel like?
kyle dunnigan
I think I'm very normal, but I must be.
joe rogan
Maybe after the show.
The calls will start coming in.
kyle dunnigan
No, they won't.
joe rogan
Yeah, baby.
unidentified
Yeah, baby.
kyle dunnigan
You got bros watching.
joe rogan
After the Netflix thing, they might.
kyle dunnigan
No, I don't think I'm recognizable.
joe rogan
I don't want to say what you did.
kyle dunnigan
I don't think I...
That was, by the way, what I had was ridiculous.
Yes. And it was like, I wanted to take it off.
joe rogan
Don't say any more, because we don't want to give anything away.
kyle dunnigan
Okay, we'll teaser.
joe rogan
It comes out on Monday.
kyle dunnigan
What time does this come out?
joe rogan
This comes out tomorrow.
Okay. Yeah, so we can't do that.
kyle dunnigan
Ooh, this is good, actually.
People listen to me.
unidentified
They're like, oh, I gotta see that.
joe rogan
Hang in there.
kyle dunnigan
Yeah. That really is gonna be like nothing else on that channel.
joe rogan
Game changer.
Game changer.
Yeah, no, it was phenomenal.
And the show is so real.
The show is so real.
It's like seeing people kill, seeing people bomb, seeing people have great moments.
kyle dunnigan
It was, yeah, it was unbelievable.
joe rogan
It's the best thing for comedy.
Because it gives comics, like, there's a real career path now.
If you could bang out a solid minute on Kill Tony, you get into the ecosystem.
kyle dunnigan
It's also such a high-wire act, because in doing a character, if you do SNL, it's, like, I'm sure very nerve-wracking.
But this is, like, SNL, but you have no script.
You gotta go, like, I gotta try to make things funny.
And when you're dressed up like a thing...
joe rogan
Shh, shh, shh, shh.
Can't give away.
unidentified
Don't give it away.
kyle dunnigan
I won't say, I won't say.
But... You're like, everything you say they think is gonna be...
Right. It's gotta be a joke.
But it was really cool, because right before we went on...
I'm trying to say...
I think I can say this.
joe rogan
You can't say shit.
kyle dunnigan
No, no, no, but like...
joe rogan
Tony will get mad.
kyle dunnigan
But I think this...
We could say the crowd didn't know.
joe rogan
No, they didn't know it was going to be on Netflix.
kyle dunnigan
And it was so exciting when they found out.
joe rogan
When they found out it was the first ever show on Netflix, they went nuts.
The eruption in the room was amazing.
kyle dunnigan
It was really very...
joe rogan
It was pretty badass.
And having that show at this club every week, it's incredible.
It's so good for comedy.
kyle dunnigan
Yeah, you...
It worked out.
Like, I remember when you were going to go to Austin, and I'm like, this Joe guy doesn't know what he's doing.
I was telling people that.
This Joe guy doesn't know what the hell he's doing.
joe rogan
Thank you.
kyle dunnigan
And I was wrong.
joe rogan
Thank you for your vote of support.
I didn't think I knew what I was doing.
I was like, I'd bet against me.
I'd be like, good luck doing that.
But it was like, all these things had a...
It's almost like the universe wanted it to be made.
Because it couldn't have been made with just me.
It's just like, if it was just me and some money, you can't...
Make that club.
You need all these pieces.
It's like you have to hit every green light.
And you can never bank on it.
You have to have a pandemic.
It has to get shut down.
You have to live in a ridiculous place like LA where they won't let the comedy store open for a fucking year and a half.
So people are unemployed.
I can snatch those people up.
I just happen to get a big pile of money from Spotify.
I move to this new city.
A bunch of other guys start moving to this new city.
And then all of a sudden we have like 15, 16 top comics living in this city.
This is why it can work.
A bunch of things Ron White had already be here.
He kind of lured me here because before the pandemic, he moved here.
And he was telling me how great it was.
I fucking love it.
I fucking love Austin.
I was like, really?
Texas? I don't know.
And I was like, I don't know if I could live there.
But then when the shit hit the fan and we started doing shows in Texas and putting it on Instagram, then all these guys were like, fuck that.
I'm moving to Texas.
And the next thing you know...
Segura's here.
Christina Pazitsky's here.
Tim Dillon's here.
Shane Gillis moved.
Duncan moved here.
It just came in this way.
Bryan Simpson was here early, early on, way before the club.
We were doing shows at the Vulcan, and we were all talking about making a club.
But the fucking actually do it is the weirdest thing.
When you go there, it's part of this weird illusion that you're living in.
Some weird fucking...
Bizarre hallucination you're having.
kyle dunnigan
It's like a leap, like a field of dreams.
You built it, and then they came.
Yeah. Austin is now a comedy town.
joe rogan
It's a huge comedy town.
It's a huge live performance town already, right?
Because there's so much great music here.
kyle dunnigan
There's a lot of vomit, too.
joe rogan
A lot of puke.
A lot of homeless people.
kyle dunnigan
A lot of great drugs.
joe rogan
That's what I hear.
kyle dunnigan
I wouldn't know.
joe rogan
When are you moving here?
I know you hate the cold of winter.
kyle dunnigan
I do.
And I think...
joe rogan
This is a more inviting environment for a Gala Q anyway.
kyle dunnigan
I know.
I have family back east, but I don't...
joe rogan
They can move.
kyle dunnigan
I don't think they love me.
I'm finding out I don't think they love me anyway.
joe rogan
What happened?
kyle dunnigan
They just told me they didn't love me anymore.
Outright. Yeah.
Wow. Which I respect.
What did you say first?
joe rogan
Huh? Did you say, I don't love you, first?
kyle dunnigan
No, no, I was like, I love you guys, and then they just kind of shook their heads.
So I, no one visits me.
joe rogan
Take a hint.
Huh? Take a hint.
Time to move.
kyle dunnigan
I know.
I think it would, my career would be better out here, for sure.
joe rogan
For sure.
You'd be around more like-minded people, and you get to understand the journey of Brian Holtzman.
kyle dunnigan
I need to, yeah, read up on him.
joe rogan
You need to watch him.
kyle dunnigan
Yeah. Yep.
joe rogan
There's a lot of clubs here, too.
That's the beautiful thing about this place.
You can get up, Anywhere here in town.
There's so many clubs.
It's hopping like every night of the week.
kyle dunnigan
Yeah, your club, though, is better than...
I'm not just saying that because I'm here, Joe.
I'm not lying to you.
But it's better than the Vulcan.
I don't know if you've been to the Vulcan.
It's a great club.
joe rogan
Thank you.
Tough call.
unidentified
Tough call.
kyle dunnigan
They probably get runoff from people who can't get into your club.
joe rogan
Yeah, they have a lot of great shows there.
They have great shows there all the time.
A lot of the guys from the club do shows over there.
They do it all the time.
Yeah. It's like that and then Brian Redband's room, The Sunset, which is right down the street.
That's only like four or five doors down.
And that place is packed all the time.
That place is killer.
kyle dunnigan
That format on Kill Tony is just...
Perfect. So great.
joe rogan
Perfect. He's got it dialed in.
It's like a finely oiled machine.
kyle dunnigan
It's like you or anybody who does things for...
He's been doing it for years.
Yeah. It was the rhythm of it.
Imagine how people come up, concept of a show, and you would never come up with this.
You would never go, this is going to work right away, this Kill Tony format.
joe rogan
Well, it needed years and years of development.
This is the thing.
They did that show once a week for a decade.
A decade.
They never missed an episode.
They did it during the pandemic with no crowd.
kyle dunnigan
Oh, really?
joe rogan
Yes. Yes, they did Kill Tony in the main room.
With no crowd.
They live-streamed it.
kyle dunnigan
Oh, right.
joe rogan
Bro, they never let go.
They're like a pit bull on a sack of nuts.
Just clamp and then never let go.
And now it's enormous.
That episode where Adam Ray played Joe Biden and Shane Gillis played Trump, I think that has like...
No, way more.
Really? I think it's like 60 million people have watched it on YouTube.
kyle dunnigan
That's crazy.
joe rogan
How many people, Jamin?
jamie vernon
25. Ooh, done again.
kyle dunnigan
Nailed it.
joe rogan
I lied.
Wow. I thought it was a lot more than that.
kyle dunnigan
Well, there's probably also clips.
If you put it together, it's...
joe rogan
Maybe that's what it is.
Yeah. Because I was told it was like 60 million people watched it.
kyle dunnigan
People just know that it's a highlight.
joe rogan
Maybe it's all of them.
But if you think about all the clips on top of that, I mean, it's a giant show now.
kyle dunnigan
I think a lot of also...
joe rogan
Damn, it's only 25 million.
Why did I think it was more?
Maybe he's adding multiple ones where those guys were on together.
kyle dunnigan
There's some value in having a live show now, which pops more than others.
Because you can tell that show is improvised.
Yes. There's so many moments that are awkward and don't work.
It makes it even more interesting to watch.
unidentified
Live is fun.
joe rogan
It's dangerous.
kyle dunnigan
Yeah, it's also super stressful.
joe rogan
Also, with Kill Tony, you're literally getting crazy people and giving them a microphone.
kyle dunnigan
I know.
joe rogan
Some of those people are out of their fucking minds.
Half of them are homeless.
kyle dunnigan
Yeah, yeah.
joe rogan
Half of them are sleeping in their car.
unidentified
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
joe rogan
A lot of them drove from Seattle.
One guy, well, let's say the story.
kyle dunnigan
Save it like the larriquette story.
Just let it simmer.
joe rogan
What about that larriquette story?
Now's the time.
kyle dunnigan
The time?
joe rogan
Now's the time.
kyle dunnigan
Now's the time.
Boy, this better be a good story.
joe rogan
It doesn't have to be.
It'd be funny if it's not.
kyle dunnigan
I think you're going to get your wish.
On this, the only thing I've ever booked, a sitcom I ever booked, where I read, I did callbacks.
I think it was like four callbacks.
Finally, I got a sitcom.
It was like a reoccurring role.
I played this girl's boyfriend.
She did not find me.
I could tell she was like, because we didn't have a make-out scene.
We go to the table read.
Table read was like where the network come and you all sit around and they just laugh and everyone's having a great time.
So right before our table read, they go, Kyle, we've got some new lines for you.
About like eight new lines.
They were like all new lines.
And I knew how my reading was.
We've talked about that.
And so I'm panicking a little bit like, okay, Kyle, you can do this.
Just read good, Kyle.
I'm thinking in my head.
joe rogan
Oh my God.
kyle dunnigan
It's going around the table.
It's like, ha, ha, ha.
It's killing.
Gets to me.
unidentified
My line.
kyle dunnigan
I'm like, if I go to the store, then we can get it.
And then death.
Then it goes around the table.
Me. I found...
And then afterwards, I'm like, I think I'm fired.
And it was so much like climbing a mountain to get this job.
And then the next day, I didn't get a call.
No one said, you're fired.
So I come in the next day.
And I'm about to get to the door, and the cast director's like, whoop.
And she goes, you can go home.
They're going to go a different direction.
I said that.
joe rogan
You can go home?
kyle dunnigan
You can go home.
I got there.
And she goes, but you're going to Iraq.
That'll be cool.
She's trying to make a small talk, because I was going to Iraq, like, the next week.
joe rogan
Did you do stand-up?
kyle dunnigan
Yeah, USO tour.
Kind of a hero, I guess.
unidentified
No one wanted us to see it.
You can go home is the most fucked up way to tell someone they're fired.
kyle dunnigan
You can go home.
They're going to go a different way.
And then I get to go to Iraq, so that was my prize.
joe rogan
You should have told them you can't read.
kyle dunnigan
I should have said...
joe rogan
I'm dyslexic.
kyle dunnigan
You know you're so nervous and you want to be like, I'm not a problem and I can do it.
unidentified
But anyway, show sucked.
joe rogan
Did it?
kyle dunnigan
Yeah. It was no Sanford and Son.
joe rogan
Well, I didn't even know about it until an hour ago.
kyle dunnigan
You got that NeuroGum that you just did?
joe rogan
No. This is a...
kyle dunnigan
I stole a pack of...
Someone got me a pack of Neuragum.
joe rogan
You like that stuff, huh?
kyle dunnigan
Well, you know, I wanted a little pick-me-up.
Want some coffee?
I went online.
No, I'm good now, but I was online and I wanted to buy this stuff and try it.
And I got scammed.
It was like NutraGum.
The same packaging as Neuragum.
And then I was like, this ain't the stuff.
joe rogan
These motherfuckers.
kyle dunnigan
These motherfuckers.
joe rogan
Do you mess around with nootropics, though?
There's a lot of good ones out there.
kyle dunnigan
Nootropics. I know what that word means, but why don't you tell the audience?
joe rogan
It's these things.
This is NeuroMints.
This is the same company.
They make mints.
kyle dunnigan
It's just like caffeine?
joe rogan
No, it's like theanine, caffeine, a bunch of...
It's essentially nutrients that help brain function.
So it helps with your memory.
It helps with your verbal memory.
Sometimes you're searching for a word.
You can't find it.
This stuff helps with that.
Helping you read?
Yeah. Not just this.
It probably would.
I think it's just...
It helps.
It's the building blocks for human neurotransmitters, as it's been explained to me.
Like, there's certain nutrients that, like, you know, like vitamin D. It helps muscle synthesis.
It helps a bunch of things.
It helps your immune function.
There's a bunch of nutrients that do different things in your body, right?
And theanine is a really good one for memory.
There's a bunch of alpha-choline.
Was it alpha-GPC-choline?
Is that what it is?
Acetylcholine. There's quite a few different nutrients that have been identified as to helping brain function.
And so the way I found out about this stuff, there was Bill Romanowski, the football player.
He has a company.
He's got really good stuff.
It's called Neuro One.
And it's like a scoop.
You just mix it in water and blend it up or whatever.
And I tried.
I was on a radio station in San Francisco and they gave it to me.
I was like, this is great.
Where can you get this?
It really does give you a little pick-me-up.
But not like five shots of this.
It's just like a little edge of focus.
kyle dunnigan
Yeah, I could use a little memory booster.
I don't sleep well enough.
I'm really going to try to fix that.
joe rogan
What are you going to do to fix it?
kyle dunnigan
You're going to be really proud of me.
unidentified
You ready?
kyle dunnigan
I'm ready.
I have a jiu-jitsu class on Monday, my first one.
joe rogan
Really? That'll help you sleep.
kyle dunnigan
I think so.
joe rogan
You'll probably go to sleep a bunch of times in class.
kyle dunnigan
Yeah. I actually do not have a neck for a chokehold kind of sport.
I'm 30% neck.
joe rogan
Well, that is a large target, but my advice would be just to take it easy, slowly at first.
How old are you now?
kyle dunnigan
26. You look great.
I look like shit for 26. You look great.
joe rogan
Just go slowly.
That's my advice.
Don't try to go too fast, especially if you have been working out hard.
Have you been working out hard?
kyle dunnigan
Not, and then no.
Yeah. The answer's no to that.
joe rogan
So that means, you know, your joints are not going to be the most resilient.
Don't try to do it all at once.
That's my thing.
By the way, that's with everything.
If, like, I'm going to run a marathon tomorrow.
Hey, hey, hey.
Have you ever run before?
No, I don't run at all.
unidentified
Right, right, right.
joe rogan
Okay. Let's not run a marathon.
Let's run a mile.
Let's do one mile, which is a lot if you haven't run.
A mile is a lot.
If you do not run, a mile is a lot.
Yeah. But you can't just run a marathon.
And if you're going to do jiu-jitsu, start slow.
Don't try to do a two-and-a-half-hour session.
I'm going to roll with five guys today.
Learn an arm bar.
Learn how to tap.
Okay, this is a triangle.
kyle dunnigan
I told them, give me the most beginner thing.
joe rogan
Oh, they have to do it that way.
Everyone's going to do it that way.
Nobody teaches you flying triangles the moment you get into the class.
They teach you beginner stuff like, this is the mount, this is side control, this is the guard.
They teach you simple basics.
kyle dunnigan
It's good for confidence, too, I hear.
joe rogan
Oh, yeah.
kyle dunnigan
You can fight.
joe rogan
It'll help a lot.
It does.
But also, it's great for stress relief.
Because no matter what your day is, it will never be as stressful as some dude mounting you, trying to choke you unconscious.
Because if you fight that off and then you're done with your class, regular stuff is like, whatever.
Some crazy homeless guy, man, fuck you!
You're like, fuck you too, bye.
Take care.
You don't even want to be in any...
You don't have this desire to puff your chest out like a lot of people do.
It's like, stop.
kyle dunnigan
Now, you're proud of me for doing this.
Now, you're about to be not proud of me.
Ready? It's girls' class.
joe rogan
It's all women's jujitsu.
I would not even want that.
kyle dunnigan
I don't want to get boners when I'm like, I would not want that.
joe rogan
You're a woman.
You're not going to get a boner.
kyle dunnigan
No, if I'm there.
joe rogan
You're a woman, Kyle.
Don't let anybody ever tell you different.
unidentified
Thank you so much for not misidentifying me.
joe rogan
Don't let anyone deny your humanity.
kyle dunnigan
I'm a ma'am.
joe rogan
No, what am I not going to get upset about?
kyle dunnigan
I'm also taking a pickleball class.
joe rogan
I like pickleball.
You know who plays pickleball every day?
kyle dunnigan
Wait, let me guess.
20 questions.
joe rogan
It's the only time I've ever let you guess.
Every time I jump in.
unidentified
I'm going to say...
kyle dunnigan
Duncan Trussell takes pickleball.
joe rogan
He might, but that's not who I was thinking of.
Kid Rock.
Played pickleball every day.
kyle dunnigan
I love any kind of racket ball sport.
joe rogan
I get up at 8 o'clock in the morning, my fucking trainer comes over to play pickleball.
I'm like, every day?
He's like, every day.
I love it.
kyle dunnigan
I want that kind of money where I can just pay it and come over and play pickleball.
joe rogan
Yeah, it was a trainer.
He's got a trainer.
I bet he's a pickleball wizard now.
He probably knows how to do the secret moves, how to slice the ball.
kyle dunnigan
I'll destroy Kid Rocket Pickleball.
unidentified
You think so?
Let's set it up.
kyle dunnigan
He's a clown.
Whoa. Kid Rocket's a clown.
joe rogan
I can't believe you're calling him out like this on my show.
kyle dunnigan
Dude, I'm just saying.
I don't think he's got it in him.
joe rogan
He brought Bill Maher to the White House.
I have that underwear on.
He brought Bill Maher to the White House and they had dinner with the president.
kyle dunnigan
Are we in like a Mad Libs episode?
joe rogan
I hope so.
I hope so.
I'm scared of this tariff stuff because it's radical change.
I'm scared of radical change.
kyle dunnigan
Well, let me tell you what I think and I don't know anything.
joe rogan
Good. We don't.
Both of us don't know.
This is a perfect time to speculate about the economy.
kyle dunnigan
This is all his negotiating.
It's going to come down.
It's not going to stay like this.
The bad thing will be if all the other countries go, fuck you, America.
We're not going to negotiate that.
And then that's a problem, I think.
joe rogan
It's always a possibility.
Also, you're not nearly as charming if people can't speak your language.
Like, Trump is used to being able to charm people.
He's very charming.
But if you can't speak his language, you're like, fuck this orange asshole.
kyle dunnigan
You know what I mean?
joe rogan
I don't even know this guy.
What is he saying?
And someone has to tell you what he said?
Like, it's not cute when Boris Yevinovich...
Has to translate in your ear.
kyle dunnigan
It doesn't translate.
unidentified
Mr. Putin, he says, these tariffs, this is bullshit, it's part of the game.
kyle dunnigan
He says it's the most terrific thing.
joe rogan
It's part of the card game.
We are playing all together, globally.
kyle dunnigan
It's like, you know, the woman's from Poland, and she's like, oh, your communal joke.
And you're like, no, you're not going to find this funny.
I can't tell you a joke.
Not a joke.
unidentified
Let me tell you first about the history of my country and suffering.
Let me tell you how many people stall and starve to death.
And then you tell me your cute little fucking joke.
kyle dunnigan
In my village.
Yeah, I've had that happen recently.
I was like, I'm not telling you.
It's not going to go well.
joe rogan
Yeah, that's a tough one.
When people ask me if they don't know who I am genuinely, the easiest one to say is I do commentary for the UFC.
kyle dunnigan
Oh, that's good.
That's the easiest one.
joe rogan
Because if I say podcast.
kyle dunnigan
Well, people know you now.
joe rogan
Some people don't know me.
It's nice.
Every now and then I get a person who doesn't know who I am.
Like some old fella.
kyle dunnigan
Oh, an old fella.
unidentified
What do you do?
kyle dunnigan
Yeah. What do you do, Sean?
joe rogan
I do commentary for the Ultimate Fighting Championship.
And then they look at you sideways like, what?
kyle dunnigan
That still, though, could be a conversation.
Here's what I do on a plane.
I work with computers.
And they're like, oh.
That's good.
Finances, too.
joe rogan
Yeah, but if I want to have a conversation with someone, if I don't mind having a conversation with them, I just don't want to explain the whole thing.
kyle dunnigan
I forget you do UFC commentary.
That's another great job.
joe rogan
That's a job.
You have all the great jobs?
I have all the great jobs.
But that's the only job I have.
That's an actual job where someone pays me.
I show up.
I work for somebody.
I'm an employee.
I sign up.
kyle dunnigan
Is there something you want to do that you haven't done?
No. Are you looking?
joe rogan
No, I'm not going to do anything.
kyle dunnigan
Do you have a goal?
joe rogan
No, I have zero goals.
kyle dunnigan
Zero goals.
What about retiring and traveling the world?
joe rogan
I don't have any retirement ideas.
kyle dunnigan
No. Pyramids?
You ever see those?
joe rogan
I want to see the pyramids.
kyle dunnigan
I do too, but I think what's going to happen is you go, oh, there they are.
And now you're like...
joe rogan
I don't think so.
I've been obsessed with the pyramids since I was like a little boy.
kyle dunnigan
Can you go in them now at all?
Yes. You can?
joe rogan
Yeah, you can go in them.
And if I went, I'd hopefully be able to get someone to guide me, like a really good person.
I could guide you.
Could you do it as Caitlyn Jenner, though?
unidentified
Yeah, baby!
This is where the guy died.
joe rogan
Did we film that?
unidentified
Yeah! He was buried with his dog.
joe rogan
Have you seen this whole controversy?
What is that?
I don't know, but there's a guy named Jimmy Corsetti.
He has this great YouTube show called Bright Insight.
He's been on my show many times.
Very smart guy and very reasonable guy and also is a huge believer that there's a missing chapter in ancient history.
He doesn't believe in it.
He thinks it ignores something that everyone knows.
There's this enormous water table that's underneath the pyramids.
So the pyramids, there's water underneath the pyramids.
And Mr. Beast, apparently, on his YouTube thing that he did with the pyramids, went into the water.
So they were all in the water, splashing around the water.
So this water table...
Yeah. So underneath the pyramids, there's water that flows.
kyle dunnigan
That seems unstable to me.
unidentified
Yeah, they should have thought to talk to you before they built that 5,000 years ago.
kyle dunnigan
Was it 5, 10?
joe rogan
It's probably more.
It's probably a lot more.
If I had a guess, I think they're wrong.
I think the hieroglyphs that are on the wall that depict pharaohs leading back to 30,000 plus years, it's probably accurate.
kyle dunnigan
I really want to know how they built those.
I really, I think that's a, those, you see some of those stones are so...
I don't believe aliens or I don't believe that happened.
I think people built that.
But how did they get some of those stones up there?
joe rogan
I was watching this guy.
kyle dunnigan
Here's the answer.
joe rogan
I'll tell you who this guy is.
Shout out to him because he had a very interesting take on it.
I watch a lot of these silly YouTube videos that are all in ancient history and ancient civilizations and stuff like that.
But this one was really kind of interesting.
And this guy is...
I'll send it to you, Jeremy.
His name is Michael Button and he had a very good point.
And his point is that there's this linear path between like cave person and what we are today.
But he's saying, but human beings in the form that we exist in today have essentially been around for at least 315,000 years.
And there's all these large peaks and dips in the historical timeline of the temperature of the earth.
And in these peaks of temperature, you have all this growth and change, and then you have ice ages, and you have drop-offs, and then there's cataclysms and natural disasters, and he brings up the volcano eruption, the Toba volcano eruption.
But what he's essentially saying is human beings in this form, with the minds that we have, have existed for 300,000 years.
Okay. Capacity.
But yet...
Only over the last few thousand years have we seen all this progress.
And he thinks what he's proposing is if there was a super advanced civilization a hundred thousand years ago, there would be almost nothing left.
So we're supposing that what we find is all that's ever been.
What he's saying is if you imagine...
200,000 years of development of technology, of tools, of agriculture, all the different things that could have happened in those 200,000 years, that you could have had an insanely advanced society 200,000 years ago, and then it gets completely wiped out,
and then 115 to 150, depending on who you ask, 1,000 years later, you start seeing what we've seen in the last few hundred years.
kyle dunnigan
Okay, I'm going to push back on that.
Please do.
Wouldn't they have some metal?
joe rogan
No. This is what he's talking about.
When you have enormous spans of time, all you have left is stone.
You have rocks.
kyle dunnigan
Where does the steel go?
joe rogan
It just disintegrates.
It all goes away.
It all just gets absorbed by the earth.
You know, there's very little metal that is going to...
Like, any forge...
Like, if you have a knife, and you leave that knife under the ground, just the earth will erode it.
You know, a few thousand years, it's gone.
unidentified
Oh, so they probably had combustion engines and stuff?
joe rogan
Here, look at it.
Steel takes probably 50 to 500 years to decompose, depending on the type of environmental conditions, with stainless steel potentially taking over a thousand years.
So just imagine something that's 100,000 years old.
You got nothing.
There's nothing left.
So he makes this very interesting argument in this video that I never considered before.
It's just the timeline of human beings being human beings.
And he's like, what was it?
Why was there this great leap in technology?
And it is completely possible that there was great leaps hundreds of thousands of years ago.
But then the question is, like, what happened to us?
How did we get so far ahead of all these other creatures?
How did we get so far ahead of everything?
kyle dunnigan
I know you talk about, like, we're, like, this much smarter than a monkey.
joe rogan
Oh, we have most genes.
Most of our genes are chimpanzee genes.
Most of them.
kyle dunnigan
What are the things under the pyramids that are pillars?
unidentified
What does that mean?
joe rogan
I don't know what they're seeing.
See, some sort of satellite ground-penetrating...
Is it a radar?
A type of radar?
Jamie? What are they calling it?
So they have these images.
The problem is also these guys are Italian.
So they're saying it in Italian.
And so I don't know exactly what they're saying.
I'm just reading the translation.
I want to hear their voice.
I want to hear if they sound wacky.
Everybody is talking in Italian.
It sounds beautiful.
But you could say nonsense shit with an Italian accent.
It sounds incredible.
Because I don't speak Italian.
kyle dunnigan
Beautiful language.
joe rogan
Beautiful language.
So these images that show these feet...
Look, if it's real...
And that stuff is under the water table.
That's actually even fucking crazier.
Explain the collected acoustics from deep in the ground including seismic waves, noise from human activity and photon interactions to map newly found shafts and chambers that extend more than 2,000 feet below the surface.
Biondi said these waves were collected by radar, specifically by analyzing Doppler centroid abnormalities, shifts or distortions in frequency patterns used to detect underground structures or changes.
However, Professor Lawrence Conyers, a radar expert at University of Denver who specializes in archaeology and was not involved in the study, still raised doubts.
He said photon interactions, this is science fiction, and frequency shifts of what?
He said, we now have three different energy sources moving around, radar, electromagnetic, sound seismic, and light photons.
This is all gobbledygook.
Sounds like he didn't get invited to the party.
I heard that guy's a furry.
I made that up.
I'm sorry, sir.
But show me the images of what they believe that they've found.
Because if it is a real thing, if you really do have these...
I mean, the 3D images, they really stepped out of line drawing it so clearly.
That's not what you see.
You're honeydicking me.
kyle dunnigan
They gotta dig.
joe rogan
But if it is under the water table, that's even crazier.
So if they're using the water, if the pyramid, there's a guy named Christopher Dunn that believes that the pyramid is a gigantic electrical power plant.
kyle dunnigan
Oh yeah, like a Tesla coil kind of thing.
Yeah. And the needles.
joe rogan
So if they're using the water for energy, and they actually have these columns that extend into the water.
That's even crazier.
That's an even more advanced civilization than just building these columns.
kyle dunnigan
Well, we've got to dig.
Why don't we dig?
Start digging there.
Me and you.
joe rogan
How many shovels do you think we need?
Should we be safe and buy four?
unidentified
Yeah, definitely get four for sure.
joe rogan
Jamie's back goes out if he digs all day, though.
kyle dunnigan
That golf swing is going to hurt his back.
We'll worry about that.
joe rogan
That's a serious golf swing.
You're a little jealous, right?
You're a little jealous.
kyle dunnigan
I heard a nice pop.
joe rogan
You're a little jealous.
kyle dunnigan
I felt it from you.
I was a little jealous.
Definitely jealous of his equipment.
unidentified
You heard that whack and you're like, ooh, that's going far.
kyle dunnigan
What's your handicap, Jamie?
I think people want to know.
unidentified
Oof. Oof.
jamie vernon
Yeah, I mean, what was yours when you were playing all the time?
joe rogan
Oh, that's a...
He diverted you.
kyle dunnigan
I won the...
joe rogan
Turned the question around like you.
kyle dunnigan
I know.
jamie vernon
I don't want to be judged by a guy that's really good.
kyle dunnigan
First of all, this is not...
I know it seems like I've bragged a lot on this show, but this is a fact.
I was the...
Ash Rock Valley Country Club Junior Golf Champion.
jamie vernon
So you were probably three or four when you were there?
Maybe better, even?
kyle dunnigan
No. There was like five kids in the country.
joe rogan
What's your handicap?
kyle dunnigan
Now, I'll shoot like a 95. I was probably like 80 when I was a kid.
unidentified
So that's like 8-ish?
85. Maybe 10. 10 handicap?
joe rogan
Is that good, Jamie?
jamie vernon
Yeah, that was really good.
joe rogan
What's yours?
Probably, it's 20. 20. Jamie's got a line drive that'll fuck you up, though.
kyle dunnigan
No, I know.
I heard a thwack in that room.
joe rogan
What's the furthest you've ever driven the ball, Jamie?
jamie vernon
I said that wind conditions coming to play there, Joe.
kyle dunnigan
Right. No, no, no, no.
jamie vernon
I go for ball.
I'm going for ball speed right now, I think, and I've gotten over 160 before.
Damn. But that's only, like, one part of the equation.
joe rogan
Is that world class?
jamie vernon
It's pretty high.
joe rogan
That's fast as fuck.
160 miles an hour?
That's crazy.
jamie vernon
Most people who play golf don't break 100, so you're already in the top 10% or something.
joe rogan
But that's what you're obsessed with, right?
jamie vernon
Sure, I was just trying to beat my friends, really.
kyle dunnigan
You play for money?
jamie vernon
Golf's fun with money.
If I go with most people here, they're only playing for money.
kyle dunnigan
Oh, so fun.
jamie vernon
Yeah, a lot.
kyle dunnigan
I can't get addicted to that game.
You just didn't like golf?
joe rogan
No, I never played it.
You've never tried it?
No. What do you mean?
I never played it.
kyle dunnigan
How could you not even buy it?
joe rogan
Because I'm scared of games.
I get addicted to games.
I don't have any time.
You're scared of games.
kyle dunnigan
This is a big thing we're admitting now.
joe rogan
No, legitimately.
kyle dunnigan
What about chess?
Do you play chess?
jamie vernon
I love chess.
joe rogan
No, that's the same thing.
kyle dunnigan
No one will play with me.
joe rogan
Are you that good?
Because you're on the spectrum.
kyle dunnigan
I'm probably really good at it.
Lately, I've been playing a lot online, I play.
Come to the mothership.
joe rogan
Tony plays all the time.
kyle dunnigan
He does?
joe rogan
Yeah, Tony and Brian Simpson, they play all the time.
Tony's pretty good.
kyle dunnigan
Oh, I'd love to play.
joe rogan
Tony's a smart fucker.
kyle dunnigan
Yeah. He's a smart fucker.
joe rogan
He's good at chess.
He's probably a little Spectrum-y himself.
kyle dunnigan
Yeah, we're all Spectrum-y.
joe rogan
A little bit.
kyle dunnigan
Yeah, to be that quick with Gross.
joe rogan
But I feel about chess the same way I feel.
Chess maybe even more so, because I can play on my computer anytime I want.
I can't do that.
I can't have that in my life.
kyle dunnigan
Why not?
I mean, listen.
Golf is such a great...
joe rogan
Listen, I know I would love it.
Everyone... Ron White loves it.
Jamie loves it.
Tony loves it.
They love it.
Tony just started playing when he moved to Austin.
He fucking loves golf.
unidentified
I fucking love golf.
kyle dunnigan
I don't play much at all, but you're just afraid that you're going to get too into it.
That's what it sounds like.
joe rogan
Oh, 100%.
Yeah. No, I have like a little switch that goes off, and then I become obsessed with things.
kyle dunnigan
That's how you get stuff done.
joe rogan
There's a game right now that I have it with.
It's pool.
I play pool pretty well.
kyle dunnigan
You don't remember this, but I played pool with you at your old studio, and I don't think I hit any balls.
I think you just went and you played pool.
joe rogan
Yeah, I just ran out.
kyle dunnigan
And you're just like, we're done.
You're like, game's over.
I was like, oh, that was fun.
joe rogan
That's the fucked up thing about pool.
If a guy breaks first, he could just break and run out 10 racks in a row.
kyle dunnigan
It was pretty rude of you.
I was a guest.
joe rogan
I'm rude.
kyle dunnigan
With that, with pool.
joe rogan
I won't let anybody win.
kyle dunnigan
You're like two balls left.
I had all my balls left.
You could have been like, here, you know, just miss a little bit.
Let me go.
joe rogan
You don't want that in your life.
kyle dunnigan
No, I do.
That's all.
When I was younger, I didn't want cheating.
joe rogan
You should have a boxing match like that old guy had.
kyle dunnigan
I've hit my head so many times.
joe rogan
Hire some kid to fucking take a beating.
That guy didn't have any fear that he was going to get punched back.
Did you notice?
kyle dunnigan
That was way...
It was like poorly rigged.
joe rogan
There's some good fake fights online.
There's this one guy who's a politician in Mexico and he got like fake muscles.
So he had like those fake muscles and then he had a fake fight with the fake muscles.
And it's like a super obvious fake fight.
You watch it like, what the fuck am I looking at?
This is nuts.
kyle dunnigan
I mean, that giant bicep looks so bad.
joe rogan
Weird, like, bulging, like, their oil.
They shove oil into their skin.
kyle dunnigan
It's disgusting.
joe rogan
And it makes your, like, how does that, how bad does that feel?
kyle dunnigan
And they forget to do their legs, so they just look so weird.
You gotta balance that out.
joe rogan
Well, people get their legs oiled up, too.
kyle dunnigan
I'm going to get oiled up, and I'm going to get huge.
I'm going to do jiu-jitsu.
From here on in, my life is going to change.
joe rogan
This is a good place to do that.
Then you need to move here.
A lot of jiu-jitsu here, too.
kyle dunnigan
I'm going to be out here a lot, I think.
I really do think I will be out here a lot.
I'm already out here.
I'm out here like four times in the past three months.
joe rogan
I know.
That's what I'm saying.
Just get a fucking place.
kyle dunnigan
No one loves me in New York.
unidentified
Fuck Brooklyn.
joe rogan
I know.
kyle dunnigan
No one loves me.
joe rogan
We love you here.
kyle dunnigan
Come on, bro.
I do feel more welcomed here.
So, yeah.
unidentified
There's golf.
kyle dunnigan
Golf can get me out here.
If Tony plays golf.
joe rogan
Oh, they all play golf.
Everybody plays golf out here.
unidentified
All right.
joe rogan
You're in.
kyle dunnigan
I have to go to the bathroom so bad.
joe rogan
Let's wrap this bitch up.
unidentified
Let's wrap this up.
kyle dunnigan
I can't concentrate.
joe rogan
I can see it in your face.
kyle dunnigan
I have to pee so bad.
joe rogan
I know it's the worst.
You can't form sentences.
Okay, we'll wrap it up.
Tell everybody how they can find you.
kyle dunnigan
Get my crypto coin at KyleDoney.com.
I'm on tour.
Boston, Vermont, Philly.
joe rogan
Vegas. And Instagram.
There it is.
Live dates.
kyle dunnigan
That's with that.
joe rogan
Look at that pic.
kyle dunnigan
That's your...
joe rogan
Oh, that's my flamethrower.
That's Elon's not a flamethrower.
Yeah. Yeah.
Okay. And your Instagram is...
kyle dunnigan
Kyle. Instagram is KyleDonigan1.
joe rogan
And you may or may not be the star of Monday Night's Kill Tony.
kyle dunnigan
May or may not.
unidentified
I don't know.
joe rogan
Ladies and gentlemen, Kyle Donigan.
unidentified
Thank you.
joe rogan
Thank you, brother.
unidentified
Thank you.
joe rogan
That was fun.
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