April 23, 2024 - The Joe Rogan Experience
02:45:42
Participants
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| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
|
unidentified
|
Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out! | |
| The Joe Rogan Experience Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day! | ||
| So Jamie, I'm sending you these things right now You want to feel like a lazy piece of shit? | ||
| Uh, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| This is what me and Ari were sending each other last night. | ||
| This is all the Phish concert at the Sphere. | ||
| Oh, Phish is a fascinating thing. | ||
| Dude, the graph, you know the Sphere in Vegas? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| That giant globe. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| The whole ceiling is all LCD or LED. What kind of screen is it? | ||
|
unidentified
|
LED? LED. Whatever the best shit is. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| It's like a billion dollar building. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But the screens on the ceiling, so Phish utilizes these for all these like crazy, trippy, psychedelic images. | ||
| And so while the show was going on, people were just like, it's like the greatest fucking thing I've ever seen in my life. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| That's the ceiling. | ||
| Awesome. | ||
| That's the ceiling. | ||
| Oh, that's great. | ||
| It's incredible. | ||
| And then going to that show? | ||
| What a party! | ||
| I mean, they're doing a residency, so I guess they're doing six Sphere shows. | ||
| Check out some of the other ones I sent you, Jamie, because... | ||
| I sent you quite a few. | ||
| They're all different. | ||
| One of them was a dog. | ||
| A dog's like licking. | ||
| Like licking the screen. | ||
| I need to see this. | ||
| I did not know how big Fish was. | ||
| I didn't know it was big at all. | ||
| But they have such a massive cult following. | ||
| They do. | ||
| They sell out everywhere. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's like the dead. | ||
| It's basically the same. | ||
| It's like a new generation of the Grateful Dead. | ||
| And growing up, I was aware of the Grateful Dead. | ||
| Fish, I was doing a show in Atlantic City, and then the guy that was booking was like, I don't know, man, it's tough. | ||
| Fish is here this weekend. | ||
| The whole city's... | ||
| And I was like, what? | ||
| Fish? | ||
| P, the one with the fish? | ||
|
unidentified
|
P-H? Fish? | |
| And he was like, yeah, they're huge. | ||
| And then people follow them. | ||
| I had a buddy of mine, his girlfriend was really into fish. | ||
| I just didn't get it. | ||
| Yeah, I've never heard a single song. | ||
| I was like, what are you talking about? | ||
| Like, what's the big deal? | ||
| Like, look at this one. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| Isn't this insane? | ||
| That's awesome. | ||
| It's insane. | ||
| Now, even hearing this in the headphones, that feels awesome. | ||
| Looking on this screen. | ||
| Yeah, and apparently there's not a bad seat in the house. | ||
| And one of the guys from Phish was doing an interview about it, and he was saying, essentially, like, every seat is incredible. | ||
| Because every seat, you see the sky, and you see this. | ||
| You see fireworks, and it's just fucking amazing. | ||
| This is awesome. | ||
| So they're doing a UFC there in September. | ||
| And I have no... | ||
| Look at the dog. | ||
| Oh, that's so sick, dude. | ||
| That's so sick. | ||
| Isn't that amazing? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What's going to be on the screen at US 300 is Max Holloway knocking you out with two seconds left in the fight? | ||
| One second. | ||
| Yeah, one second. | ||
| Yeah, it's going to be all kinds of shit. | ||
| I mean, they're essentially planning for that different than they've ever planned for any other event. | ||
| Dana told me they've already spent $9 million preparing for September's event. | ||
| That's so sick. | ||
| So tickets are going to be nuts for that, I assume. | ||
| It's going to be nuts, yeah. | ||
| It's going to be a nutty event. | ||
| I don't think they're going to do more than one of them. | ||
| I think they're only going to do one. | ||
| Because the idea is that it's so expensive to do and there's so much involved in preparing for it. | ||
| But it's an investment, so you're going to get it back. | ||
| Has anybody written a book on Dana building the UFC? You would know. | ||
| I would not. | ||
| I'm very much casual. | ||
| But just, I remember being like 13, seeing the UFC commercials. | ||
| And it didn't, it seemed like this fringe thing. | ||
| And now it's this massive mainstream thing. | ||
| And I don't want to give all the credit to one person, but it seems like he's the one. | ||
|
unidentified
|
A lot of it. | |
| A lot of it goes to him. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| If it wasn't for him, it just wouldn't be the same thing. | ||
| You have to have a maniac rather than that organization. | ||
| He's a maniac. | ||
| He's a maniac, but a genius maniac. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| He's literally born for that job. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's perfect. | ||
| He's the perfect guy for that job. | ||
| My cameraman was telling me this morning, Kevin shouts to Kevin, he films and edits all my stuff, but he's a big UFC fan. | ||
| He said Dana put out like a three-minute video after UFC 300 of a bunch of people criticizing the fight card on UFC 300. And I was like, dude, that's the thing that you need. | ||
| Michael Jordan has that thing. | ||
| Dana White has that thing. | ||
| Dave Portnoy has that thing where it's like, I remember everybody that ever insulted me. | ||
| Fuck you. | ||
| No matter how famous I get, fuck you. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't have that. | ||
| I don't either. | ||
| I keep moving. | ||
| I don't like that kind of stress in my life. | ||
| I don't like dwelling on things. | ||
| I don't like creating additional conflict. | ||
| Maybe I did when I was younger, but... | ||
| That shit doesn't seem appealing to me at all. | ||
| How do you let go? | ||
| If you had it when you were younger, how did you let go of it? | ||
| I just realized it wasn't helping me. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The same way I let go being jealous of people. | ||
| I would be jealous of other comedians, like if they were killing it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I would be like, God, I hope he bombs. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then I, this is when I was 21, I felt this. | ||
| Oh, that's very young for that. | ||
| And I saw it, I was like, God, what a weak thought. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I was embarrassed. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I remember being 27 and just being so angry, and I haven't let go of all of it by any stretch, but being like, I don't like me being like this. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then I realize all my hate of other people is rooted in me worrying I'm not going to make it or worrying I'm not funny enough. | ||
| And then you get kind of like, that's embarrassing, so let's try to move away from that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Especially with comedy and something that you can actually improve on, it's really stupid. | ||
| Or even martial arts, something you can improve on. | ||
| I get it with girls. | ||
| Because they get it with looks. | ||
| Like, looks. | ||
| Oh, they're saying it. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| No, looks is a fucking terrible... | ||
| What a crazy crapshoot. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You could just get two sixes. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Or you could get two ones. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And there's not a goddamn thing you can do about it. | ||
| You just got fucked by genetics. | ||
| And it's because men don't give a fuck about your personality. | ||
| They barely care. | ||
| Yeah, it's... | ||
| As long as you're nice enough... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You're nice and smiley and friendly. | ||
| Be there. | ||
| Don't stop the fun. | ||
| People are like, she's great. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| She's awesome. | ||
| She was quiet. | ||
| We're such losers, dude. | ||
| She was not interrupting me when I was talking. | ||
| She's awesome. | ||
| Yeah, dude. | ||
| It's all genetics. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It's all just... | ||
| We're looking for those features. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| We're looking for symmetry and all kinds of different things. | ||
| And it's just... | ||
| The world is a rough place if it's just a looks thing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But if it's a performance thing... | ||
| Goddammit, it's the opposite. | ||
| Like, you should be excited by someone who's better than you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Because that gives you something to strive for, and it also gives you fuel. | ||
| Yeah, absolutely. | ||
| And I've said this publicly, I think, on True Jordy's podcast, but watching Andrew blow up, there's times where I'm insecure, and I'm like, oh, am I going to get there? | ||
| But then watching him handle all of it, I'm like, oh, that is such a blessing to be able to watch him handle everything. | ||
| So if and when I get to that position, this is how you handle it. | ||
| I've seen it done before. | ||
| Yes, that's important. | ||
| That's important to learn how to just be yourself. | ||
| Stay yourself. | ||
| You have to learn how to stay yourself because the pressures are different. | ||
| It's like you step into a different atmosphere. | ||
| It's like a different environment. | ||
| You're on a different planet. | ||
| The gravity is different. | ||
| As the number of eyeballs increase, every feeling you have about these groups of people with an opinion amplifies as their numbers amplify. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| So if you're hung up on other people's opinions, and then you blow up, you're in real trouble. | ||
| Because if you read all that stuff, you can go crazy. | ||
| And we've all seen it. | ||
| We've all seen guys who go crazy. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Just like the pressure and the other people and the opinions and all that stuff, it cracks them. | ||
| I remember when you came on Flagrant, you were like, I'm sure there's stuff that's negative about me. | ||
| I just don't read it. | ||
| And then that actually helped me because I was like, oh, if Joe Rogan doesn't, the most famous guy I know doesn't read the comments, I thought there was like something weak and you needed to like train yourself to get used to negative. | ||
| It was like a really stupid thought. | ||
| But it's like that you could just not do it. | ||
| And then those people aren't. | ||
| If you're a nice person, you want to have nice exchanges with people. | ||
| I'm a nice guy. | ||
| I like to be friendly. | ||
| I like meeting people and hugging them. | ||
| I like fun times. | ||
| I don't like arguments. | ||
| So if I'm engaging with people who are troubled, mentally ill people that are just looking to shit on people, then you get all that energy in your head. | ||
| I wouldn't gravitate towards that energy in real life. | ||
| Why would I gravitate towards that energy online? | ||
| This is not good for you. | ||
| So if you pretend that you don't care at all, well now you're pretending, okay? | ||
| Now you're not a human anymore. | ||
| Because all humans care about other people's opinions. | ||
| It's a part of why we all survived. | ||
| Our tribes manage to move into cities and create agriculture and create civilization. | ||
| You have to like each other. | ||
| You get along. | ||
| It's part of the deal of being a human being. | ||
| And if you try to pretend, I don't give a fuck. | ||
| Well, now you're lying. | ||
| It's a coping mechanism. | ||
| Now you're lying. | ||
| You just got to be honest about who you are. | ||
| You're a human being. | ||
| And if you're a human being, what do you want? | ||
| You want good interactions with people. | ||
| My wife said a thing. | ||
| I was getting in my head a couple times that she says a thing. | ||
| She's like, let me ask you a question. | ||
| Have you ever gone to a content creator's page and left a negative comment? | ||
| And I was like, I don't think so. | ||
| And I love hating on things. | ||
| But going on to someone's page, and then she's like, now imagine doing it incessantly. | ||
| All day long. | ||
| Those people have some level of mental illness. | ||
| Their life is based around hating someone else. | ||
| You can't take those people that seriously. | ||
| And I was like, ah, that's a valid point. | ||
| They might dislike me, but that level is weird. | ||
| Yeah, they're losers. | ||
| It's a bandwidth issue. | ||
| And I don't mean they're losers like they can't be winners. | ||
| I mean like what you're doing, you're engaging in loser behavior. | ||
| I've engaged in loser behavior before. | ||
| I've been a loser. | ||
| Doesn't mean you are like, this is a can. | ||
| You are a can. | ||
| You never change. | ||
| This is never going to be a plant. | ||
| It is what it is. | ||
| That's not what I mean. | ||
| But I mean that if you're acting like a loser, if it walks like a duck, you're a fucking duck. | ||
| You're a loser. | ||
| And if you're a guy that's going on... | ||
| You think Michael Jordan's leaving negative YouTube comments? | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| People that are successful don't have time to try to take other people down for no reason. | ||
| Unless you're Cat Williams. | ||
| Yeah, but he's great at it, though. | ||
| He's so good at it, though. | ||
| If you're not that good at it, don't do it. | ||
| But also, he's being accurate. | ||
| The thing about Kat is, like, you can't refute the things he's saying, other than the book thing. | ||
| There's no way he reads that many books. | ||
| His 40 is impressive. | ||
| It's not as fast as he said, but it's impressive. | ||
| Oh, he's fine. | ||
| He ran the 40 in, like, 5 flat. | ||
| Have you seen that clip? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Crazy. | ||
| He's fast. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's fast, man. | ||
| And he's cool. | ||
| He's a fun dude. | ||
| Hey, I have some loser behavior to apologize for before we get... | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yesterday, I'm walking through Austin, and I'm like, this city's great. | ||
| Why did I get unrogan the first time and shit all over Austin? | ||
| What a fantastic city! | ||
| I'm a loser! | ||
| 68 degrees on a Sunday, I'm walking around, there's trees, there's beautiful people, there's good food, and I realized the only reason I hated it is because I would leave Texas when I moved to New York or LA, and every hacky liberal would be like, oh, I hate Texas, but I like Austin. | ||
| And then I got insecure and some loser shit, and I was like, you know what? | ||
| Fuck Austin, dude. | ||
| Fucking vegans, they suck. | ||
| This city's great. | ||
| Well, if you go to certain parts of Austin, you will get annoyed. | ||
| I was in East Austin a couple months ago and I saw some fucking guy driving his Tesla with a mask on. | ||
| I literally wanted to yank him out of his car and break his neck. | ||
| You fucking... | ||
| You're a problem voting. | ||
| I guarantee you, you're a problem. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| You're the reason why there's no cash bail. | ||
| Dude, I saw a guy in 2022 in an elevator and he got mad at me for not having a mask on. | ||
| I was like, buddy, it's over. | ||
| It's over. | ||
| He got mad at you in 2022? | ||
| He was like, not wearing a mask? | ||
| Because New York had the whole mask thing for longer. | ||
| And so I guess... | ||
| But to me, once it... | ||
| Was it still going on in 2022 when you got in the elevator? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Well, my wife, NYU, she got a master's at NYU, and they made them take boosters, which I took the vax. | ||
| I'm fine with that, but boosters, I was like, I'm not doing it. | ||
| If it's a cold, I'm not vaccinating against a cold. | ||
| I'm not doing it. | ||
| And then they made them wear masks until, I think, middle of 2023, they had to wear masks. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jesus Christ. | |
| Which is insane. | ||
| There's no science. | ||
| Zero science. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| If you look at the science behind masking, there's actually legitimate science that breathing those dirty fucking masks with that bacteria inches from your mouth is bad. | ||
| That's fair. | ||
| Yeah, because you're spitting in this thing, and then this thing is right in front of you, and it's also warm and moist, and so it breeds bacteria. | ||
| Like a surgeon wears masks to protect someone whose body is cut open. | ||
| That makes sense. | ||
| You don't spit inside of them. | ||
| He's not talking, having full conversations. | ||
| He breathes in it for the surgery, takes it off, that's it. | ||
| Another mask or whatever. | ||
| And if you wear one of those tight-fitting N95, or whatever they call them, is that what it is? | ||
| Yeah, N95. KN95 and N95, yeah. | ||
| If you wear one of those, like, even that is, you're getting air in, okay? | ||
| And you must understand that the particles of whatever virus it is are smaller than the fucking holes that you're getting air through. | ||
| You could vape through those things. | ||
| Have you ever seen people vape through them? | ||
| No. | ||
| Yeah, fucking vape goes everywhere. | ||
| There's a doctor that was showing that early on. | ||
| He was a respiratory specialist. | ||
| He was like, this is insane. | ||
| And let me show you why it's insane. | ||
| So he takes up, you know, one of those big juice box vapes that those dorks use? | ||
| At least they suck it on a robot dick. | ||
| So he takes this big puff and then blows right through one of them surgical masks. | ||
| Wow, okay. | ||
| So the COVID particles are smaller than the vape particles. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's nonsense, but it made people feel better. | ||
| I wore them in the beginning because, you know, it's like you don't want to be an asshole. | ||
| Everybody's scared. | ||
| You don't want people upset. | ||
| Oh, there's no mask. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And early on, I'm with you. | ||
| I get it. | ||
| We didn't know what the fuck this was. | ||
| We didn't know how to control it. | ||
| So this is what we feel we need to do. | ||
| And then as more info started coming out, we should start to get less hysterical about it because there's more info on it. | ||
| And it felt like in New York, we didn't. | ||
| I thought some places went so far the other way. | ||
| It was a little nuts, but it was more fun. | ||
| It's liberals. | ||
| It's liberals. | ||
| And this is coming from someone who's been mostly a liberal their whole life with most issues. | ||
| I'm liberal about pretty much everything until it gets to like border and guns. | ||
| I know violence. | ||
| I understand reality. | ||
| Crime is real. | ||
| It's a real thing. | ||
| This idea that you shouldn't be protected is fucking nuts, especially when you're defunding the police, you fucking idiot. | ||
| Yeah, that was crazy. | ||
| Yeah, that was crazy. | ||
| Yeah, you know what? | ||
| I have a bit in the special where I talk about just, like, the marketing of it. | ||
| Like, defund the police. | ||
| I don't... | ||
| When I talk to liberal people about what that means, they would be like, yeah, you know, I just want to, like, specialize the police force and have less, like, have de-escalation measures first, blah, blah, blah. | ||
| And I'm like, well, that's... | ||
| Specialize the police is a lot better than defund the police, you maniac. | ||
| What terrible marketing. | ||
| What they have to do is train the police better and make... | ||
| Improve the police. | ||
| Yeah, and give those folks mushrooms every now and again and let them cleanse. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You... | |
| Because of you, I started smoking weed a little bit. | ||
| It's great. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I gotcha! | |
| I gotcha on that podcast that day. | ||
| You got me on the podcast that day. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And, buddy, let me tell you, shrooms even better. | |
| Yes. | ||
| I'm so glad I waited until I was 37 to do any of this. | ||
| I don't think I could have handled it when I was a kid. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's smart. | |
| That's actually smart. | ||
| But shrooms are the best. | ||
| Oh, when you were showing me that fish thing, all I was thinking about is I'm going to get shrooms, tickets to a fish show, sit there and lose my mind. | ||
| Ari Shavir is trying to convince me to go to a makeup specialist and get a prosthetic nose and chin. | ||
| Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| You gotta. | ||
| Put a wig on, maybe. | ||
| Maybe get a wig. | ||
| Shrooms before? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| How to block. | ||
| Not a blonde one. | ||
| People will know. | ||
| Yeah, maybe a redhead. | ||
| Maybe I'll be a redhead. | ||
| And some baggy clothes or something like that. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Something to hide the guns. | ||
| Just my tattoos, if anybody identifies those. | ||
| If you're going to go to a Phish concert, you have to just be one with the crowd. | ||
| You can't do that if you're famous. | ||
| Oh, interesting. | ||
| You've got to be able to sneak in and just take it in. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Dude, we could just run out the sphere. | ||
| Let's just do a private concert with Phish for you and your friends. | ||
| Dude, I am obsessed with AI animation. | ||
| I'm obsessed with it. | ||
| I follow like 15 different people online now on Instagram. | ||
| It'll come across my feed and I'll just find these insane videos that they're creating instantly with AI and they're beautiful. | ||
| Yeah, it's insane. | ||
| They're amazing. | ||
| We made songs with AI on one of the Patreon episodes, and they're so good. | ||
| So good. | ||
| It's unbelievable. | ||
| 20 seconds. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's crazy. | |
| Have you seen the rap beefs that are happening where they think the songs are AI? Because they're so, like, one guy said, I know this song isn't AI because how can AI take a breath in a song? | ||
| And I was like, because it's AI. It's just going to get better and better. | ||
| No, they um, they take breaths, they do all kinds of stuff now. | ||
| They mimic all the patterns of speech that they can record from all these different people. | ||
| So if you have a database, like say you and I, we've been on a bunch of podcasts now, so they could take us and have us say anything, and it would be like weird pauses and clearing of the throat. | ||
| It would be indistinguishable. | ||
| What is your... | ||
| What is this? | ||
| Drake takes aim at Kendrick Lamar with A.I. Tupac and Snoop Dogg vocals on TaylorMade Freestyle District. | ||
| So Drake and Kendrick Lamar are beefing. | ||
| Drake wrote a beef and he did A.I. Snoop and A.I. Tupac talking about how disappointed they are in Kendrick Lamar. | ||
| He wrote the raps and then the voices sound perfect. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| It's unbelievable what's happening. | ||
| What is wrong with Kendrick Lamar? | ||
| They're just beef. | ||
| This rap, it's competitive. | ||
| They beef sometimes. | ||
| I think Kendrick started this one, and then it's just like, who wants to be the best? | ||
| And hip-hop is rooted in this kind of battle rap and competitive spirit. | ||
| Well, hip-hop is an interesting thing, because I love hip-hop, but I don't really love bragging. | ||
| But I love hip-hop bragging. | ||
| Yeah, because it's performative. | ||
| You don't take it seriously. | ||
| Well, it's also... | ||
| You gotta put yourself in like Jay-Z in 99 Problems, you know, where he's rapping about all you sing about is cash money hoes. | ||
| Like if you grew up with holes in your zapatoes, you would, you know, that's the whole idea. | ||
| It's like if you come from nothing and then all of a sudden you got diamonds and you're driving a fucking Lamborghini. | ||
| It's supposed to be a celebration of the fact that you made it and it's part of the bragging. | ||
| I remember when my parents had money. | ||
| They had money, lost money, had money, lost money. | ||
| But the last time they had money, I was like, who needs all this stuff? | ||
| Then they lost money. | ||
| I started comedy. | ||
| I was broke as fuck. | ||
| Whole family's not making money. | ||
| And I was like, all I want to do is buy things when I get money. | ||
| I'm buying everything. | ||
| And then you buy a few things and you're like, I'm good. | ||
| I got a nice place to live. | ||
| I'm happy with my 2012 Honda Accord. | ||
| We're good. | ||
| The thing about expensive stuff is if you can't afford it, the stress of that not being or barely being able to afford it and working for it is not nearly worth what you get out The only time nice things are worth it is when they're kind of free. | ||
| Meaning, not that they're free, but that you don't feel it. | ||
| Like, if you went out and bought a new Mustang, you wouldn't even feel it if you're rich. | ||
| It's like, boo, I can enjoy this. | ||
| This is fun. | ||
| It's like, it doesn't affect your life. | ||
| But if you make $60,000 a year, and you go out and buy a new Mustang, and then you're looking at those car payments, and you're looking at your rent payment, and then you're looking at your bills, You're like fuck yeah, like maybe I should take on like a little uber thing on the side You know that's my Mustang. | ||
| Yeah, we wind up doing that to pay for a car Yeah, which is a great thing to do if you want to do it that way, but the the additional stress Like houses. | ||
| Like I always tell people this. | ||
| This is an important lesson that I learned when I was 27. When I was 27 was the first time I ever had a nice apartment. | ||
| I moved to Hollywood. | ||
| I was on a television show and I got this place in North Hollywood and it had a loft. | ||
| And I had a pool table in my living room. | ||
| I'm like, this is amazing. | ||
| This is the dream. | ||
| And I was sitting down, I didn't even have furniture yet, and I was dating this girl, and we were sitting down listening to Seal, you know, the Kiss by My Rose? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| And we're listening to it, I had this dope-ass fucking stereo that I bought. | ||
| I never had a stereo. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And then, I mean, I may have bullshit stereos, but I never had a real stereo with the big speakers there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And so we're listening to this. | ||
| This sound is like going all, it's bouncing off the walls and everything. | ||
| I'm like, this is incredible. | ||
| But then... | ||
| After a few months, I had this revelation. | ||
| I was like, oh, this is just home. | ||
| This is the same feeling I had in my shitty apartment in New York. | ||
| It's just home. | ||
| The high wears off. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| My shitty apartment in New York, I had a television and a bed. | ||
| That's all I had. | ||
| All I had is a television and a bed and a pool cue. | ||
| And then I had, in the other room, I had a kitchen that I was fucking never in. | ||
| I just ate out every day. | ||
| Very rarely did I cook. | ||
| So it's like, that was home. | ||
| So I'd go there from the road, do a gig, plop my bags down. | ||
| Sit on the couch, turn on MTV, I'm home. | ||
| It's the same feeling. | ||
| The exact same feeling. | ||
| But if you gotta bust your ass and really kill yourself for this same feeling, it's not worth it, kids. | ||
| Your home feels like your home, no matter if it's a 50 million dollar mansion or a fucking condo that you're paying 600 bucks a month on. | ||
| It's the same thing. | ||
| My wife is big on the thing where if you can't afford it twice, you can't afford it once. | ||
| That's smart. | ||
| Yeah, so I'm very financially, I think just by product of being a comedian and like you risk everything, I don't have any risk aversion at all. | ||
| My wife is a little more risk averse. | ||
| So like if I want to buy a nice watch, I'm a little bit into watches now. | ||
| She's like, can you buy that twice? | ||
| I'm cool with you buying it. | ||
| Just make me feel better. | ||
| Can you buy it twice? | ||
| That's it. | ||
| That's all I want to know. | ||
| Can you buy it? | ||
| Did the watch thing's a thing? | ||
| That's a thing dudes get into. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| And then you get into watches that people don't know are expensive, but they are expensive? | ||
| That's what I love now. | ||
| Because walking around New York, I'm a very robbable guy. | ||
| So walking around New York, I want something that's nice, and you're like, all right, fair enough. | ||
| I don't think that's that nice of a watch. | ||
| I'll let them walk. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So that's my jam now. | ||
| You've got to think like that if you're in certain spots. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Has New York gotten that bad? | ||
| So apparently, I looked this up, because Alex keeps up with this stuff, Alex on the podcast, and he was saying crime is down. | ||
| So I looked it up. | ||
| Murder is down like 15% from a year ago. | ||
| Rape is down like 4%. | ||
| I think assault might be up. | ||
| But yeah, you do feel- Here's a problem, though. | ||
| Under-reporting. | ||
| And one of the problems with under-reporting, when there's no police presence, and that's a thing in LA right now, robberies are so common, it's so bad. | ||
| The mayor of LA's house got broken into. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, the LA mayor. | ||
| Pull that up. | ||
| It just happened. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| It just happened yesterday. | ||
| They're so fucking common and cops aren't coming for anything that a lot of shit goes underreported. | ||
| Because if you call it in, no one does anything. | ||
| No one cares. | ||
| Los Angeles mayor Karen Bass safe after suspect breaks into her official residence. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| I like how she has an official residence. | ||
| Official residence is also wild. | ||
| Yeah, what's the unofficial? | ||
| Her and her family would not harm when a suspect gained entry. | ||
| I like how to say that. | ||
| Gained entry. | ||
| He gained access. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's crazy. | |
| He broke into your fucking house! | ||
| The Getty House, the LA Mayor's official residence on Irving Boulevard around 640 a.m. | ||
| this morning. | ||
| First of all, that's ridiculous. | ||
| That you have a place where everybody knows you're going to be because it's the mayor house. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You've got to stay in the mayor house. | ||
| Yeah, but no one should get in. | ||
| We all know where the president's staying. | ||
| We're not getting in. | ||
| I hung out with the governor when I first moved to Texas. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| And the governor lives in the governor's mansion. | ||
| And so you got to go to the governor's mansion. | ||
| You're going through all the security. | ||
| They're frisking you, taking stuff out of your pockets. | ||
| Yeah, of course. | ||
| Gops and everything. | ||
| I'm like, how crazy is it that you're staying in this spot where everybody knows where you are? | ||
| And then while I was hanging out with them, a drone flew over the balcony. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Get the fuck out of here. | |
| It turned out it was the fire department. | ||
| They were doing something with drones, so they scan for fires and shit, and I don't know what they do. | ||
| But I was like, this is crazy. | ||
| Do you have to deal with this all the time? | ||
| Is a drone in front of your fucking house? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'd get a shotgun. | ||
| Yeah, I remember watching a presidential debate. | ||
| It was Obama and Romney, I think, and then we're at the Village Lantern where we came up, and then my boy Michael Blaustein points to the TV and he goes, why would anyone want this? | ||
| And I was like, yo, that's a good point. | ||
| That, to leave my house? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Drones flying over my house. | ||
| A level of scrutiny. | ||
| Anytime I say, uh, people are jumping all... | ||
| Remember they were jumping on Barack because he said, uh, a lot? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They're just all over him. | ||
| It's like, dog, can I live? | ||
| Imagine that now. | ||
| You see how bad Biden isn't speaking? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| It's rough, dude. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's rough. | |
| I got hairy legs! | ||
| It's so rough to watch. | ||
| It's so rough to watch. | ||
| Imagine if Obama came along and ummed and people complained about that. | ||
| Yeah, that's true. | ||
| Wait a minute. | ||
| How do you not complain about this guy? | ||
| That's true. | ||
| This is ridiculous. | ||
| Do you want... | ||
| I heard you say I think Michelle should run? | ||
| She could win. | ||
| She could win, I think. | ||
| I think if she won... | ||
| I think if she ran, she could win. | ||
| Yeah, I think... | ||
| I don't think she wants that, though. | ||
| No, I guess... | ||
| I don't think she wants that in her life. | ||
| Which is... | ||
| The bullshit that they dealt with over the eight years when he was president? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Fuck all that... | ||
| Fuck that job for anybody that... | ||
| You know that like really would be really good at it. | ||
| Yeah, I trust the person who doesn't want the job more than the person who wants the job. | ||
| I mean you have to be like real desperate to change the world. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And be a good person and actual good candidate to understand that they're gonna come for you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Like the way they're coming for Trump right now. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| This thing that they're doing right now with the criminal trial for the hush money payment, this is essentially, the way it is, it's like he incorrectly labeled a payment on, it's like a ledger thing. | ||
| It's not even like it's illegal to pay someone to shut up. | ||
| The whole thing is, it's like how he recorded what that payment was for. | ||
| I don't know enough about the trial to know. | ||
| But I think what a casual observer like myself would say is, oh, this seems like a witch hunt. | ||
| And I don't think if your strategy is to make Trump not win an election, I think that only emboldens his support. | ||
| People who are on the fence might be like, oh, they really are trying to get this guy. | ||
| He's right when he says all this stuff. | ||
| They're definitely trying to get him. | ||
| But if you look at what's going on in New York crime-wise, look at the bail situation. | ||
| Like those two guys that beat up the cops, the illegal immigrants that beat up the cops. | ||
| I didn't even know about this. | ||
| They let him out right away. | ||
| And the dude was like Tupac in the camera and shit. | ||
| I was kind of fired to be honest. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This is a young guy who walked here from Guatemala. | |
| He's like, fuck you. | ||
| I just beat up your cop. | ||
| That guy is Scarface. | ||
| We watched a movie about that guy in the 70s and loved him. | ||
| Yeah, and you're never going to get that guy out of here now. | ||
| Even if you beat up a cop, you're not even deporting him, you're just letting him right back on the street. | ||
| And then how are you tracking him? | ||
| You're not tracking him. | ||
| Are you tracking him? | ||
| No, you're not tracking him. | ||
| There's no resources. | ||
| There's no fucking money for anything there. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| I thought South Park had a really good take on illegal immigration like 15 years ago, which was like the liberals are all just like, let them in, let them in, let them in. | ||
| The conservatives are like, don't let any in. | ||
| And nobody's like, hey, maybe we could also just try to help them out in their country so they don't need to sneak in. | ||
| And that's probably a great way to do aid. | ||
| The problem with that is then you don't get the cheap labor that you need to make cars for like $10. | ||
| That's very true. | ||
| That's very true. | ||
| My parents owned a restaurant that failed. | ||
| But if you think we were hiring legal people, that's crazy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's crazy. | |
| No chance. | ||
| We would have closed even faster. | ||
| That's the thing about LA. They just switched it to $20 an hour for minimum wage. | ||
| Yeah, there's no way you can afford that. | ||
| Businesses are just going to close up shop. | ||
| They're going to kill the economy. | ||
| Or just keep hiring illegals. | ||
| It's going to be one of those two. | ||
| Yeah, but you can't do it because they have to get paid a certain amount. | ||
| Even the illegals do. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Unless you're paying them under the table. | ||
| If you're running a McDonald's, you can't pay people under the table. | ||
| They'll get you. | ||
| But they're also just going to do the self-checkout and just eliminate workforce wherever they can. | ||
| That's what's going to happen. | ||
| It's going to be an AI thing. | ||
| It's going to be self-check. | ||
| They already have a thing here. | ||
| There's a Whataburger that's like a digital Whataburger. | ||
| You order it on your app and then you pull up to a kiosk and it just fucking comes out. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| All right. | ||
| Yeah, we're always going to get used to it. | ||
| The self-checkout doesn't seem weird anymore. | ||
| Not at all. | ||
| Remember Bill Burr's bit like 12 years ago where he's just like, I'm just stealing it. | ||
| Now we're all like, no, we'll just pay for it. | ||
| I'll sift. | ||
| And they'll have a tip at the end at the airport. | ||
| I just rang myself up and you want a tip? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Get fucked. | |
| Give me my money back. | ||
| That's the tip. | ||
| That's ridiculous. | ||
| The tip thing is crazy. | ||
| But people are trying to weasel tips out of you everywhere. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| It's weird how like some things get tips like a Starbucks barista, but other things you never think about tipping. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| That are like harder jobs. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So this might be classist on me or whatever. | ||
| When I see the grocery delivery guy, I often see someone that I feel like could use the money more than the fucking barista at Starbucks. | ||
| So I try to over tip them. | ||
| I'll do the $1 standard at a coffee shop because my friends shame me. | ||
| But now I'm kind of classist in how I tip. | ||
| I'm like, who needs it more? | ||
| And then I'll over tip that guy. | ||
| Well, I like to tip people. | ||
| It's fun. | ||
| It feels nice. | ||
| I've heard your tips are pretty crazy. | ||
| It feels good. | ||
| I call it like a little love bomb. | ||
| You leave a love bomb for someone. | ||
| It changes their day. | ||
| I'm fighting against my Indian heritage anytime I leave a big tip. | ||
| I'll do it, but it's tough. | ||
| It took a lot of work. | ||
| I'm Italian, and Sinatra and all those guys. | ||
| Everybody's handing out big tips. | ||
| That's a big thing for the Italians. | ||
| It makes people feel better. | ||
| It's a nice thing to do. | ||
| It makes people feel better. | ||
| But my point is, how come you don't tip the stewardess on an airplane? | ||
| Because they're the fun police, dude. | ||
| That's why. | ||
| Sometimes. | ||
| They are the fun police. | ||
| Can I just have my seat back while we land? | ||
| Why can't I have my seat back while we land? | ||
| What's your fucking deal? | ||
| It makes no sense. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They're just doing their job. | ||
| I know. | ||
| They're forced to do that stupid shit. | ||
| But if you let me have my seat back, maybe I give you a 20 on the way out. | ||
| They'll get fired. | ||
| They didn't follow the stupid fucking protocol. | ||
| But those people, they're bringing you food, they're bringing you water. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's true. | |
| You press a button and then they have to come over to you. | ||
| You summon them with a button. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And they don't get a tip. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| But the Starbucks guy does. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| You know? | ||
| And that smug fuck. | ||
| Oh, some of them are so smug. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Is that a prerequisite for being a barista? | ||
| You have to, like, look at people sideways? | ||
| Can I tell you, I'm trying to tip better as I feel I'm more blessed. | ||
| And I remember COVID being like, oh yeah, these tips are, this is an important thing to do. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But if you give me any attitude, the way I press zero and then spin it back around to you so you can see me not tip, it makes me so happy. | ||
| I'm overjoyed. | ||
| Zero? | ||
| There you go, buddy. | ||
| That's a Texas thing, I think, to a degree. | ||
| We don't like rudeness at all. | ||
| Very yes sir, no sir. | ||
| I'm raised yes sir, no sir, yes ma'am, no ma'am. | ||
| Please, thank you. | ||
| These were huge when I was growing up. | ||
| So if you don't give me that, I feel so like, who the Fuck. | ||
| There's a real benefit in that kind of Texas-friendly politeness. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| There's a real benefit. | ||
| That makes everybody feel better. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| I call people ma'am and sir all the time. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Makes everybody feel better. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And now that I'm old, nobody gets offended anymore because I'm older than the people I'm sirring or ma'am-ing 95% of the time. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, I'm always older than young guys that I'm calling sir. | ||
| But it's, you know, it feels good. | ||
| Makes everybody feel better. | ||
| There's a method to it. | ||
| There's an intelligence to it. | ||
| Because that whole East Coast thing, you know, I grew up in Boston. | ||
| Everybody's hard-assed and hard-edged. | ||
| I'm over it. | ||
| It's like, yeah, I don't have to do that. | ||
| But I get why they're that way. | ||
| Because... | ||
| Everybody that lives on the East Coast, unless you move there recently, you're essentially the child of either immigrants or the children of immigrants who are, you know, of grandparents of immigrants. | ||
| Children or grandchildren of immigrants. | ||
| Yeah, someone came from a boat, and they landed on that spot, whether it was the 1920s or whatever the fuck it was with my family, it was in the 1920s. | ||
| So these people, they landed there from fucking Italy and Ireland, and they were poor as fuck and desperate. | ||
| They made it across the ocean on a boat without YouTube. | ||
| They didn't know what the fuck they were getting into. | ||
| They probably barely saw a photo of what America looked like. | ||
| They had no idea if they were going to get a job. | ||
| Those are hard-ass people. | ||
| And so those people raised hard-ass kids. | ||
| And it takes a long time to break that out of a generational cycle. | ||
| And I think for a lot of people that moved to California, I didn't even know people were friendly until I moved to California. | ||
| When I moved to California, I'm like, girls are so much nicer. | ||
| They're like, nice. | ||
| They're like, hi. | ||
| Hi, how you doing? | ||
| They're not going to just be mean to you? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| I think some of it also is just the number of people, the density of population. | ||
| In Texas, I see a person every 90 seconds. | ||
| I can say hi to everyone I walk by. | ||
| In New York, there's too many people. | ||
| If I hold the door open for one person in Texas, two might walk through. | ||
| In New York, 30 might walk through. | ||
| So I'm not doing this. | ||
| That's a great point, because I walked my dog yesterday. | ||
| I'm walking down the street, and everybody I see, I'm waving. | ||
| How are you doing? | ||
| But I saw like five guys. | ||
| It's so much easier. | ||
| It's easy. | ||
| If you're in New York City, and you're walking on the street, and it's just constant flow of people coming your way, you literally can't wave to everybody. | ||
| You would be a crazy person. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Imagine if you walked out of fucking Fifth Avenue just waving at every single... | |
| You'd get the shit kicked out of you. | ||
| Someone would get upset at you. | ||
| Like the Joker opening scene. | ||
| Just get chased down the street and get beaten the fuck up. | ||
| Bro, I've been watching a lot of videos on Instagram, unfortunately, of women getting punched in the face in New York. | ||
| I've seen like four or five of them over the last few days. | ||
| People just punching women for no reason. | ||
| Yeah, that's like a thing. | ||
| That's like a thing. | ||
| What is that? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I thought it was only white women at first, so it was just funny to me, but then I found out they're doing it to everybody, and now I'm scared for my wife. | ||
| Yeah, I saw some Asian lady get punched in the face today. | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| For no reason. | ||
| Just walking down the street, and this dude just waited. | ||
| She had a mask on, too, by the way. | ||
| Maybe that's why. | ||
| Maybe that's why. | ||
| This dude just way laid her and knocked her mask off, sent her flying. | ||
| Out of nowhere. | ||
| You don't think you're going to get hit. | ||
| First of all, people die that way all the time. | ||
| Yeah, I've heard. | ||
| Because if you don't know you're going to get hit, and you get hit, you go unconscious, and you bang your head off the concrete. | ||
| It's like getting the world dropped on you. | ||
| Yeah, no, that's one thing that fighters are keenly aware of that most of us don't, I don't think, think about a lot. | ||
| You gotta really think about that on concrete. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, if you're gonna punch somebody on concrete, you might go to jail. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You might go to jail for a long time, and you might have horrible nightmares. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| That you could've avoided that, you didn't have to do that. | ||
| Especially if you're skilled. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And you know that, like, I don't have to fuck this guy up, but this guy's fucking pissing me off. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I'm gonna teach this motherfucker a lesson. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I have a friend who had that exact situation. | ||
| He's like, I haven't fought since then. | ||
| I don't know what happened to the guy. | ||
| I had to get out of there. | ||
| And he's like a trained fighter. | ||
| And he's like, I don't know what happened to him. | ||
| I couldn't find out. | ||
| And that just haunts me. | ||
| I was very enthusiastic about fighting until I was 19. And when I was 19, I fought in this tournament in Anaheim, California. | ||
| It was the Nationals. | ||
| And I was the Massachusetts state champion. | ||
| And I fought this kid who was, I think he was from Illinois. | ||
| I think he was the Illinois state champion. | ||
| And I hit him in the head with a wheel kick. | ||
| What a wheel kick is, is like your body's spinning. | ||
| So I'm standing with my left foot forward and I'm spinning my right heel around in a circle. | ||
| And it has insane power. | ||
| I mean insane power. | ||
| The amount of power that you get in a wheel kick is because it's my legs, it's my upper body, there's a whip to it, it's got all this torque. | ||
| And I caught this guy. | ||
| He came at me with what's called a stepping roundhouse kick. | ||
| So he had his front leg forward and he stepped forward with his left leg. | ||
| He was gonna throw a kick and I spun with my right leg at the same time. | ||
| So I caught him running in and I blasted him in the face and he went out. | ||
| Faceplant, snoring, never woke up. | ||
| Never woke up. | ||
| He was unconscious for half an hour. | ||
| They put him in a stretcher. | ||
| I was watching. | ||
| He never got out of that stretcher. | ||
| They took him to the hospital. | ||
| I have no idea what happened to him, and it freaked me out. | ||
| It freaked me out. | ||
| I lost my next match, and that was my third match of the day. | ||
| Were you just like, I can't get over this? | ||
| No, no, I lost my next match. | ||
| The guy was just better. | ||
| I just lost. | ||
| When I went back to Boston, my main instructor, he wasn't there in California when I was fighting. | ||
| And so, because there was like a team of us, it was like 10 of us that went to California. | ||
| And he said to me, he goes, I heard you had a great knockout. | ||
| And I said, yeah. | ||
| He goes, wheel kick. | ||
| I go, yeah. | ||
| I go, I thought he was dead. | ||
| He never got up. | ||
| He goes, sometimes they die. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fucked. | |
| I was 19 and I was fighting for zero money. | ||
| None of it made any and my heel was sore. | ||
| I was limping the next day because my heel was sore from his face. | ||
| And then I was thinking, I'm not immune to that. | ||
| Someone could 100% do that to me. | ||
| We're whipping fucking bones at each other. | ||
| It changed my feeling about it. | ||
| I didn't have the same enthusiasm after that. | ||
| That was probably like the beginning of the end for me. | ||
| I fought for a couple more years, but it was like, that was kind of it. | ||
| I was kind of like, what? | ||
| Was your aspiration before that to be like a world champion fighter? | ||
| I wanted to be in the Olympics. | ||
| Ah, okay. | ||
| Yeah, but there was no money in Taekwondo. | ||
| There was no money in kickboxing either. | ||
| I had an offer for a kickboxing fight. | ||
| It was like 500 bucks. | ||
| Boy. | ||
| And then if I fought professional, then I could never fight amateur again because now I'm a professional. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, okay. | |
| So it was like 500 bucks. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It was like 500 bucks to train for like two months and maybe get pummeled. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, maybe get brain damaged. | ||
| Maybe get my nose shattered. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, maybe get my ribs kicked in. | ||
| Like... | ||
| And that's the beginning of the stand-up career, essentially? | ||
| Well, I was doing both at the same time as well, which is also a problem. | ||
| Because I knew I wasn't as committed to fighting. | ||
| But it really began with that 19-year-old when I knocked that dude out. | ||
| That was the beginning of the end. | ||
| And then it was like, later on, it was headaches from kickboxing. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| I was getting a lot of headaches. | ||
| I was getting headaches. | ||
| Like after sparring, I would be lying in bed and my brain would just be throbbing, just boom, boom, boom. | ||
| And I remember thinking, what am I doing? | ||
| Like, am I ruining my brain? | ||
| Because I knew a lot of guys who their brain got ruined. | ||
| And it didn't seem like they realized it. | ||
| It didn't seem like, because they were still fighting. | ||
| It didn't seem they realized, or maybe they didn't know what to do, or maybe they just weren't that smart, but they were still fighting and training, but I was realizing they were slurring their words, and there was just this clear evidence that something was off. | ||
| And I was like, oh my god, is that happening to me? | ||
| Is that going to happen to me? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know? | ||
| And then there's also, later on I realized, there's also other side effects of that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Which is like impulsiveness, gambling addiction. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| People get crazy. | ||
| They start doing a lot of drugs. | ||
| They drink a lot. | ||
| A lot of guys become drunks because they're just trying to like, they're just trying to feel good. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They just feel terrible all the time. | ||
| Yeah, and we had no idea about any of this back then. | ||
| You're in a fog of depression. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Because people thought back then, punch drunk was a thing. | ||
| That was real. | ||
| Everybody knew a guy, but no one worried about it up until it was obvious. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know, and no one worried about, there's a sub-concussive... | ||
| Traumatic brain injuries that cause a lot of CTE, which is chronic traumatic encephalopathy. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And that's the thing that makes people kill themselves and, you know, do wild shit and lose their fucking mind. | ||
| But soccer players get that. | ||
| I know. | ||
| From hitting the ball. | ||
| I've heard this, and it's so crazy how delicate the brain is. | ||
| We don't think about it. | ||
| It's super delicate. | ||
| It's super delicate. | ||
| That's why I tell my friends that are all, they still like to spar. | ||
| I was like, man, I know it's fun. | ||
| I know it's fun to spar, but don't do it. | ||
| Don't fucking do it, man. | ||
| Don't do it, because you could just slip away and not even realize that you slipped away. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because all you have to do is like spar with one meathead. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| One guy, and then he hits you, and you get mad, and you hit him, and next thing you know, you're in a fight. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You're in a fight in the gym, and a lot of fights happen in the gym. | ||
| There's a lot of sparring matches that essentially become fights. | ||
| People don't break it up? | ||
| No, most gyms don't. | ||
| It depends on the gym. | ||
| I mean, a really good gym will break it up, especially if someone's better than the other person and they're wailing on them. | ||
| A really good gym will stop that. | ||
| But a really good gym will not want you to spar like that most of the time anyway. | ||
| Most of the time they want you to what they call technical spar. | ||
| So you're just kind of like, you're hitting each other, but you're not like full blasting each other. | ||
| You're just getting timing in. | ||
| And that's a really great way to spar if you trust... | ||
| You're a sparring partner. | ||
| So if you got a guy that you could do it with and he's cool and you're cool and you like each other, you know, and you can make this agreement like if I hit him, I'm gonna hit him like this, like kick him. | ||
| I'm just gonna like stop at the body. | ||
| And if you do that, then you really develop sharp timing and it's great. | ||
| But you do have to do hard sparring every now and then because you got to know what that feels like and the consequences of making mistakes are so much more. | ||
| I'm gonna be honest. | ||
| I think about getting into like jujitsu and stuff and then you start talking like this and I'm like, I think I'm okay. | ||
| I think I don't need this. | ||
| I think I'm not built for it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, I'm a grappler. | ||
| Well, you got Hassan looking good. | ||
| I went, by the way, Mothership is beautiful. | ||
| Hassan took me yesterday. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Thank you. | |
| Gorgeous. | ||
| Mitzi's also. | ||
| As a non-drinker, I didn't have any interest in Mitzi's and then I went there and I was like, oh, this is a vibe. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| This is like a speakeasy and then I heard it's shut down for anybody but comics after a certain hour. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's awesome. | ||
| After 11 p.m., it's comics and they're friends. | ||
| That's awesome. | ||
| But yeah, Ahsan looks good, dude. | ||
| And he said he was training with you. | ||
| Yeah, I got those guys on a workout boot camp. | ||
| Shane Gillis, Ahsan, Derek Poston, Brian Simpson, Duncan Trussell. | ||
| Is Poston still doing only meat? | ||
| He's doing carnivore? | ||
| He told me he was doing that. | ||
| So is Ahsan, yeah. | ||
| I got them on that for January. | ||
| It was World Carnivore Month. | ||
| And I said, I just want you guys to try this for one month. | ||
| He said it was so hard. | ||
| You could eat eggs. | ||
| It is hard. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But once you get accustomed to it, like, that's how I eat, man. | ||
| I mean, I'll still eat whatever I want every now and then. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But the vast majority of my diet is all just meat and eggs. | ||
| No veggies? | ||
| Very little. | ||
| If I want to. | ||
| Like, the other night I had a salad. | ||
| I felt like having a salad. | ||
| And blood work is all good, no? | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's great. | |
| Oh. | ||
| It's great. | ||
| Everything's great. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No, it's amazing. | ||
| It's like your body wants to eat real food. | ||
| And if you're eating bread and all that bullshit, it's not real food. | ||
| It's just your body's like... | ||
| I'm never tired. | ||
| Okay, so through the... | ||
| I used to get the... | ||
| Look, I... 100% I'm addicted to pasta. | ||
| Like if you give me a big bowl of like linguine with clams, I will fuck that up. | ||
| I will fuck some lasagna up. | ||
| You put a pizza in front of me, I can't stop eating. | ||
| I'll eat a whole pizza, a whole extra large pizza. | ||
| Right. | ||
| That's not good for you. | ||
| And when I would eat like that, I would always crash. | ||
| I would get these moments like the middle of the day. | ||
| I was like, I gotta take a fucking nap. | ||
| I wanted to take a nap. | ||
| I love that feeling. | ||
| It's a great feeling. | ||
| It's so fun. | ||
| It's so fun to just be able to take a nap if you can. | ||
| But if you're busy and you can't take a nap and now you gotta go do things and you're all droopy. | ||
| But when I started eating only meat, one of the first things I noticed is that my energy levels were completely level throughout the day. | ||
| It was flat. | ||
| It never went up. | ||
| It never went down. | ||
| I was like, this is crazy. | ||
| Like, I'm not getting tired where I'm expecting to get tired. | ||
| And then I realized, oh, that's probably like an insulin dump. | ||
| Like, my body's probably fucked up from all this carbs, all this sugar and bullshit that I'm putting in my body. | ||
| And as soon as I stopped doing that, I felt so much better. | ||
| And that's what those guys said. | ||
| That's what Hassan said and Derek said. | ||
| They're like, dude, I feel so much better. | ||
| I have so much more energy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because you're not poisoning yourself. | ||
| Yeah, I did like a keto style thing. | ||
| It was called Soda, this thing. | ||
| Before I filmed the special, I let go of like 20 pounds. | ||
| And it was, I didn't realize the idea of eating fat instead of carbs is fat, even with a smaller amount, it's just more filling. | ||
| So carbs, you can eat 200 calories of carbs. | ||
| Yeah, protein and fat. | ||
| Carbs, I'm hungry again right away. | ||
| If I have even just a teaspoon, tablespoon and a half of olive oil, I'm good for four or five hours usually. | ||
| Yeah, it's a higher satiety level. | ||
| So if you just eat a 16-ounce steak, you put a 16-ounce rib eye in front of you, And if that's all you're eating, you'll be full. | ||
| You'll eat that and you're like, that was great. | ||
| But if there's mashed potatoes right next to it with gravy and then maybe some french fries and then maybe over there there's a little bit of spaghetti and meatballs. | ||
| I'm going to keep eating. | ||
| I'm going to keep stuffing my fat, stupid face and then at the end of it I'll be like this. | ||
| Oh, fuck. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Oh. | ||
| Which is still my favorite thing to do. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's a great feeling. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| But it's really bad for you. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's a great feeling that's like drinking. | ||
| It's a great feeling that's really bad for you. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't drink, but I will gorge. | ||
| Yeah, it's not good, man. | ||
| It's not good. | ||
| You really – especially one of the things as you get older, you realize there's a giant difference between people my age that take care of themselves and people my age that neglect their health. | ||
| They deteriorate. | ||
| Like I have friends that are my age and when I tell people, we're the same age. | ||
| They're like, what? | ||
| Other people can't even believe it. | ||
| How is that guy your age? | ||
| Because he didn't do anything. | ||
| He didn't take care of himself. | ||
| You have to take care of yourself. | ||
| You've got to treat your body like it's a fucking car. | ||
| If your car's got a fucked up transmission, get it fixed. | ||
| Change your fucking oil, stupid. | ||
| Have you seen this guy Brian Johnson? | ||
| He was on Flagrant. | ||
| He's fascinating, dude. | ||
| He's fascinating. | ||
| He says he eats, like, 1800 calories a day, and the saying he says is kind of fiery. | ||
| He goes, every calorie is fighting for its life. | ||
| Every calorie has a purpose, and if we can't find a purpose for you, you're out. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Every piece of food has a purpose. | ||
| He's also, like, injected his son's blood into him. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| So when I first read articles... | ||
| Here's what I'll say. | ||
| When I would just read articles, he's coming on the pod, we're researching, and I'm like, they paint him as like this billionaire fuckboy who just wants to be a billionaire and have sex with an 18-year-old or whatever. | ||
| They kind of make him seem like that. | ||
| When you talk to him, he's like, I think humans can live forever with the help of AI, and I just want to push us there. | ||
| And you feel like... | ||
| Oh yeah, this is not, he's not like, he was wearing like a unicorn shirt when we saw him in like some blue corduroys. | ||
| No, nothing fashionable about this man. | ||
| He just, and I think his dad is pretty sick, and so he, I think, wants to make humans live forever very soon so his dad can stick around. | ||
| It's actually like, there's a lot more nobility to it when I talk to him than when I just read articles about him. | ||
| Isn't it interesting that you would be skeptical about a person who wants to live longer? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Well, a billionaire who wants to live forever sounds... | ||
| Those things together sound evil genius, like Lex Luthor. | ||
| Right, but it also makes people like, no, everybody's gonna die. | ||
| You too. | ||
| It's like, especially poor people that don't have the money to do all the shit that he's doing. | ||
| Because what he's doing is cost like millions every year, right? | ||
| Yeah, two million, I think, a year on his body, yeah. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| Yeah, LeBron spends a million a year, and this guy's not even an athlete, but two million a year. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, he looks okay. | ||
| He looks great, dude. | ||
| He looks pretty good. | ||
| He's in better shape, obviously, than he was five years ago. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's also a vegan, though, which I found fascinating because there's not a lot of evidence that that's good for him. | ||
| He didn't think that was healthy. | ||
| He thought he could be as healthy and protect the environment, I believe. | ||
| He thought the environmental cost of meat right now is too high. | ||
| Yeah, he should read more. | ||
| It's not protecting shit. | ||
| You're encouraging monocrop agriculture. | ||
| You're encouraging the death of untold numbers of creatures when they fucking... | ||
| When they cultivate those crops, when they cut them down and run those fucking combines through them, everything dies, dude. | ||
| If you think one life is one life, so if you think a bison is as important as a mouse, well, you're a hypocrite. | ||
| Because those ground squirrels, shrews... | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, ground nesting birds, fawns, rabbits. | ||
| Things get fucking destroyed. | ||
| If you talk to farmers, one of the things you see after they run a combine through the field is vultures. | ||
| Vultures and crows just flying over the field because they know everything got fucked up. | ||
| So if one life is one life, and this is not to say that there's not a horrific loss of life every day with, like, chickens. | ||
| The number of chickens that get killed in this country every year is in the billions. | ||
| It's in the billions. | ||
| How many chickens do we kill every year? | ||
| Let's find out. | ||
| I was watching this thing on all the different animals that get killed. | ||
| Like, what's the highest number of animals that get killed? | ||
| Is it chickens? | ||
| It's gotta be chickens. | ||
| Chickens is high up there. | ||
| I don't know if it's number one. | ||
| But there's a lot of different things that get fucking killed and eaten by people. | ||
| But monocrop agriculture is terrible for the environment. | ||
| It's not good. | ||
| It's bad because you... | ||
| Like, topsoil. | ||
| You're not supposed to have 17... | ||
| Billion? | ||
| I think that's a billion. | ||
| What's that? | ||
| That was animals total. | ||
| Oh, 8 billion chickens. | ||
| 8 billion chickens. | ||
| Every year? | ||
|
unidentified
|
US. US. 214 million turkeys. | |
| That's surprising. | ||
| That's ridiculous. | ||
| Turkeys, they're like, they only exist because of Thanksgiving. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Wildly overrated meat. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Very overrated. | |
| Yeah, I'm amazed that there's eight times more- Shellfish. | ||
| Look at this shellfish. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| 43 billion. | ||
| No, that's fire. | ||
| I love shellfish. | ||
| That one, they got it. | ||
| 3 billion fish. | ||
| 23 billion? | ||
| Oh, a million ducks. | ||
| Yeah, 23 million ducks. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Worldwide chicken said it was like 70 billion. | |
| 70 billion! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Woo! | |
| Every year. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| Every year we kill 70 billion chickens. | ||
| Makes sense, though. | ||
| If there's 8 billion people, we all probably eat about 9 chickens a year on average. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| I ate a chicken the other day. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Meanwhile, I have chickens. | ||
| I have chickens and they're sweet. | ||
| They're my pets. | ||
| Really? | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's what's weird. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| I have like 15 chickens and they make eggs. | ||
| I eat their eggs. | ||
| But they're not worried about me at all. | ||
| I'm like, hey, ladies. | ||
| I come by, I give them food. | ||
| They get excited to see you. | ||
| You got a lot of land out there then. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Are you raising any other animals? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| Are you on a full farm or just the chickens? | ||
| No, just chickens and trying to keep my dog from eating the chickens. | ||
| My dog would be terrified. | ||
| My dog is seven pounds. | ||
| He'd be terrified of your dog and chickens. | ||
| Both. | ||
| Freaking out. | ||
| Oh, that's funny. | ||
| What kind of dog is it? | ||
| It's a Maltipoo. | ||
| Happy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Aww. | |
| I love him, dude. | ||
| I didn't want a small dog. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Aww. | |
| My wife made me get a small dog, and I'm so happy. | ||
| Anybody who doesn't like small dogs, I say, meet Carl. | ||
| Yeah, he's fantastic. | ||
| Is he in your lap? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Look at this guy, dude. | ||
| Oh, little Carl. | ||
| Look at little Carl. | ||
| Yeah, it's the best. | ||
| Yeah, dogs don't get any cuter than Carl. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They just get different. | ||
| Yeah, wonderful. | ||
| Just traveling with a small dog is so much better than... | ||
| Yeah, they're great little buddies. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They're little pals. | ||
| Dude, I got the full sling. | ||
| I'm going to send Jamie a link. | ||
| I got the full sling. | ||
| I put him in there. | ||
| Just walk around him. | ||
| It's the best, dude. | ||
| Don't get punched. | ||
| Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| What if you fell and crushed the dog to death? | ||
| No, I could never. | ||
| I would have to fall. | ||
| It's like a mother holding the son, you know what I mean? | ||
| You got instincts. | ||
| Unless you get cracked. | ||
| Oh, if I get cracked. | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| Like that Chinese lady I saw today. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| I'm probably about as strong as her, so yeah. | ||
| She was a big lady. | ||
| Oh, definitely. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Less strong. | |
| She was quite wide. | ||
| She got waylaid. | ||
| And the dude just stood over her after he waylaid her. | ||
| He just stood over her and he pretended like nothing happened. | ||
| He was talking to somebody else. | ||
| You know, young enough. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah, I feel like young kids scare me the most because they don't know the value of a life yet. | ||
| No. | ||
| They don't get it. | ||
| I saw one kid that died in New York City. | ||
| These guys just walked up to him and cracked him and he fell backwards over the curb and fell back and slammed his head on the street. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oy. | |
| And died. | ||
| For nothing. | ||
| For 20 bucks. | ||
| They robbed him for $20. | ||
| That's all he had on him. | ||
| Fuck, dude. | ||
| I know. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| It's just crazy that our society is so fucked up that we've been spending so much money on shit like wars overseas and not nearly enough money on trying to figure out a way to have the minimum amount of people grow up to want to punch people in the face on the street. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Put a stop to that. | ||
| Or feel like they need to punch people in the street. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Well, figure out a way to mitigate that. | ||
| Like, there's got to be a science behind it. | ||
| Like, what is the problem? | ||
| Well, abuse at home, violence in their neighborhood, poverty, drugs, gangs, all that stuff. | ||
| If they can pump money at that, what would the downstream effects of a lack of crime and violence, if you could, like, give people hope and educate them at an early age and set people up saying, I'm going to help you. | ||
| I'm going to mentor you. | ||
| I'm going to get you along in life. | ||
| The amount of money that we would spend to do that would pay for itself four, five, six times over and less crime, less bullshit, less losers, less problems, less prisons. | ||
| Yeah, so much of it seems like it just starts at home, and there's the generational trauma thing that you hear about a lot, and it's like, yeah. | ||
| Well, like we were talking about with the East Coast. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| There's a little bit of generational trauma there. | ||
| Yeah, I had to think about, my dad struggled with alcohol abuse, struggled with a lot of stuff, and I had to understand what his life was supposed to be in India, and then what it was going to be here. | ||
| In India, he was like, Set. | ||
| He'd passed this exam that like 5 million people apply for and they select like 200. Like he was going to be a millionaire bare minimum, 24 years old. | ||
| Then he's at another family member's wedding and his little cousins are like, hey, you're getting married today too. | ||
| He had no idea. | ||
| Arrange marriage. | ||
| Getting fitted for clothes on his way to the wedding. | ||
| wedding and then they're like you're also moving to america that's because in in the 70s in india they're just thinking oh if he's successful in india he'll be even more successful in america the language barrier you never think about and i i thought about somebody one of my cousins it struck me because he goes your dad is so funny and i was like what what are you talking about he's the least funny because your dad's not funny in english he's so funny in hindi and i was like oh this guy doesn't this language he's not that good at and he couldn't navigate the world the | ||
| He was supposed to be a superstar. | ||
| Then he comes here and he's in Texas as a brown guy in the 70s, probably less than to all these people, and he's used to being a star, and he can't be funny, and he can't be himself, and that just sucks the life out of you slowly, day by day. | ||
| What did he do in India? | ||
| It's called a PCS officer. | ||
| So there's a movie called 12th Fail, a Bollywood movie. | ||
| I love Bollywood. | ||
| But it's about a different post, but equally competitive. | ||
| That one is like IS, and then PCS is like a government officer. | ||
| Kind of like state police, I guess. | ||
| But like, you are at the very least well respected. | ||
| And if you want to be rich and take some bribes, you can do that. | ||
| And my dad would have done all of that. | ||
| He would have taken all the bribes. | ||
| All the bribes. | ||
| And in India, he just kind of knew. | ||
| He knew the culture. | ||
| He knew how to navigate. | ||
| He knew how to grease the wheels and all of that. | ||
| How to talk to people to get what you want. | ||
| Here, he's not charming because he doesn't know English well enough. | ||
| There, he can get anything he wants. | ||
| Here, he's just struggling trying to figure it all out. | ||
| And so, I've become keenly aware of like, I don't know if we as immigrant kids appreciate everything our parents had to go through to get here. | ||
| For us. | ||
| I'm not here without that. | ||
| Well, if my grandparents, it was actually my grandparents' parents that moved here, but if they weren't the type of people that were so gangster they were willing to get on that boat, I would be in Europe somewhere. | ||
| I'd be in Europe hanging out in a cafe, smoking cigarettes, talking shit. | ||
| Yeah, I would be a fat, spoiled piece of shit. | ||
| And it would have been fun. | ||
| I'd have been a rich kid. | ||
| But growing up in India, I wouldn't have been this what I am here. | ||
| I know that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You want your own ability to carve a path. | ||
| And there's a lot of countries where that's not an option. | ||
| You can't really carve a path to do whatever you want to do. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's not available to everybody everywhere. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| Hopeless poverty. | ||
| I'm not saying there's not extreme poverty in America. | ||
| There is. | ||
| But I've seen hopeless poverty in India where it's just like, I don't know how y'all get out of this in three generations even. | ||
| Yeah, when you fly into Brazil, one of the things that happens when you fly into Rio, we would do UFCs there, you go through the favelas, the airport, and the drive from the airport to where the beach, where we're staying, you drive straight through the favela. | ||
| So all to the right of you is shantytowns, and you see extreme poverty. | ||
| And have you ever seen that movie, The City of God? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Yes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| Whoa. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| My friend Eddie Bravo said that makes Boys in the Hood look like Sesame Street. | ||
| Truly. | ||
| I remember thinking it was going to be an uplifting film, so I was horrified watching the whole thing. | ||
| But yeah, it's crazy, man. | ||
| And my friends from Brazil say that's exactly what it's like. | ||
| That's exactly what it's like in the favelas. | ||
| It's bad. | ||
| The runts, the kids that take over, they're like nine years old. | ||
| And they're just killing people. | ||
| Yeah, unbelievable. | ||
| They have no respect for life, no understanding. | ||
| I mean, their frontal cortex isn't even beginning to form. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You're 25 before you figure out what the fuck you're even doing with yourself. | ||
| I remember riding a train in India with my mom. | ||
| My mom has, like, fibromyalgia, all these joint issues, and then they, like, we had to move train stations, all this stuff, or, like, platforms or whatever, and everybody's just rushing, and people are, like, screaming, trying to get off the train. | ||
| So many people are getting on. | ||
| People are, like, screaming, like, please just let me get off. | ||
| And I'm like, yo, people are gonna die doing this. | ||
| And then we talked to family in India, and they might have just been saying it flippantly, but they said the cheapest thing in India is a man's life. | ||
| They said that in Hindi, but like, the idea that you just grow up around so much trauma and whatever, that it is what it is. | ||
| When there's a billion people, and that's what India has. | ||
| A billion. | ||
| On a land a quarter the size of America. | ||
| So a quarter the size of America, three times the population. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's nuts. | ||
| Dude, the.4 of India's population, 1.4 billion, is bigger than America. | ||
| That's nuts. | ||
| So bigger plus a billion. | ||
| That's nuts. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You have to think a quarter the size of America and three times the population. | ||
| If you really put that all together, you're just like, what? | ||
| It's madness. | ||
| And I love India, and I love going back, and I also just understand how privileged I am that I was raised here, and I feel like we as immigrant kids take that for granted sometimes. | ||
| Isn't it interesting how some places just... | ||
| I guess it's the older ones, right? | ||
| Like think about high population places. | ||
| It's China, which is like our oldest civilization. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| China has thrived economically for 4,000 years. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| 4,000 years. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| So of course they have a billion people. | ||
| Yeah, true. | ||
| Serious poverty and all sorts of problems in China. | ||
| But the point is, they've been a unit for 4,000 years. | ||
| So people have been fucking. | ||
| They've been fucking for 4,000 years. | ||
| So much that they had to say, you can only have one kid. | ||
| And then they ruined everything. | ||
| That stupid idea. | ||
| Then they ruined everything. | ||
| So there's so many more men than there are women. | ||
| So now they have a real problem. | ||
| And then they realized that they were going to have a real problem. | ||
| So they started changing it and say you could have more kids. | ||
| I think you can have three now, right? | ||
| Is that what China's policy is now? | ||
| Are you not worried about China as a threat to America for global dominance? | ||
| I can't think of a better way to say it, but are you worried about China? | ||
| I think they've already won. | ||
| They've infiltrated all of our universities. | ||
| They give grant money. | ||
| They pay for things. | ||
| They buy up farmland. | ||
| They've been buying up farmland around military bases. | ||
| They sell America cheap cell phone towers and internet routers. | ||
| They sell them cell phone towers at a discounted rate so that they could have their cell phone towers around military bases so they could listen to everything that everybody fucking says. | ||
| I mean, yeah. | ||
| And then they get caught using like third-party access to like Huawei got kicked out of America. | ||
| Oh, that's right. | ||
| I forgot about this story. | ||
| I was ready to buy a Huawei phone because Huawei at one point in time had the dopest phones. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Bro, their phones are so dope. | ||
| Their phones are incredible. | ||
| They had cameras and batteries that were so much better than iPhones or anything that was available in America at one point in time, and they were just making these insane phones. | ||
| And I remember they made a Porsche-designed phone. | ||
| It was a Porsche-designed Huawei phone. | ||
| I'm like, this is the craziest phone I've ever seen. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| And then all of a sudden, they put a ban on them. | ||
| And I'm like, there must be some real shit going down with the United States government. | ||
| Yeah, we let them get away with a lot. | ||
| What does it say here, Jamie? | ||
| There's a fine when you... | ||
| or there was a social upbringing fee or a social maintenance fee. | ||
| Oh, in China, if you had more than one kid. | ||
| And then it says the Sichuan province abolished the three-child policy, making it completely... | ||
| Lay on parents to legally have as many children as they want. | ||
| The real problem is the lack of women. | ||
| It's the different... | ||
| What is the population difference between men and women in China? | ||
| I think it's like 60-something percent men. | ||
| Yeah, that's a problem. | ||
| That's a real problem because the reality, at least in America... | ||
| America has a very high level of men who are single and have no sex. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's pretty high. | ||
| I was one of those for a long time. | ||
| Here it is. | ||
| 720 male inhabitants and 689 female. | ||
| That's not too bad. | ||
| What is that about? | ||
| That's not 60%. | ||
| No. | ||
| It's a little over 50. I think like 54, probably 53 if I had to guess. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| That's not too bad. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| China's total population decreased for the first time in decades in 2022. And population decline is expected to accelerate in the upcoming years. | ||
| And that's because of the population of women versus men. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then the gap in genders could increase because the older people that didn't have the one-child policy, they're going to start dying off. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| And so in America, there was some study recently that they were talking about the amount of single men And men who don't have girlfriends. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And it's crazy high. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because everybody's got super high standards. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| There's a chart that shows the distribution from China from 1950 to 22, and it seems like it's almost the same the whole time. | ||
| Interesting. | ||
| Even after they had the one-child policy? | ||
| I don't know exactly. | ||
| Didn't change at all? | ||
| So it's only 51 to 48? | ||
| Pretty much the entire time, yeah. | ||
| Interesting. | ||
| Yeah, I would think it would continue to go down. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Yeah, there's this idea that if I criticize a government, I'm criticizing the people. | ||
| Like, the idea if you criticize Israel, you're anti-Semitic. | ||
| It's like, guys, let's let go. | ||
| If I criticize the Chinese government, Israeli government, I have no problem with U.S. groups of people. | ||
| Y'all are wonderful. | ||
| Government, y'all are a little nuts. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| Even with America. | ||
| Yes, absolutely. | ||
| Like, if you have an American flag, you're racist. | ||
| Shut up. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| America is all of us. | ||
| You can't let the corrupt government take your fucking flag and decide that that's a colonizer's flag. | ||
| That's so stupid. | ||
| That's all of us, the children of immigrants. | ||
| Yes, a thousand percent. | ||
| And if I go to Europe and they make fun of America, I don't think they're making fun of me. | ||
| I don't think they hate Americans. | ||
| I'm not like, how dare you? | ||
| Meanwhile, you're probably accurate. | ||
| I'll probably laugh along with you. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Tell me more shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You're probably right. | ||
| What do you guys think is funny about us? | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| Yeah, we're killing everyone with our food. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| Yes, let's go. | ||
| We are definitely doing that. | ||
| Yeah, I hate that I've become that guy, but I've become that guy. | ||
| Well, Russia doesn't allow GMO foods. | ||
| They don't allow it. | ||
| Everything has to be organic in Russia. | ||
| I hate that, but I went to Europe and then I tasted like the food there. | ||
| And not that they're the best chefs, but the quality of everything is just so much more clean and pure. | ||
| And then you taste the stuff in America and you're like, oh, this is, they're right. | ||
| This stuff sucks. | ||
| It's killing us. | ||
| Well, we just have so much fast, cheap food. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Fast, cheap food that's terrible for you and that you never get satisfied. | ||
| You want to keep eating it. | ||
| But like Will Silvins was telling me years ago, he went to London in like 07. I just moved to New York. | ||
| We were talking and he was like, the chicken in London is actually white. | ||
| In America, it's called white meat, but it's kind of like yellowish, you ever notice? | ||
| And I'm like, I guess. | ||
| And then he goes, if you go to London or France or wherever and eat the chicken, it's purely white because they don't allow you to fuck with it like they do in America. | ||
| What are they doing to America to make it yellow? | ||
| I don't know what they're doing exactly. | ||
| You're the guy that researches. | ||
| I'm the guy that just talks shit. | ||
| But my friend Mike Albanese was talking about this exact thing, unrelated. | ||
| We were just talking. | ||
| He was like, dude, if you buy frozen chicken breast in America and you look at the ingredients list... | ||
| It's way more than just chicken and breast. | ||
| Is it? | ||
| Yeah, it's like whatever nitrate, whatever preservative, whatever. | ||
| It's just like a whole... | ||
| You can do anything. | ||
| The preservatives are what really fuck you. | ||
| You gotta imagine. | ||
| What is a preservative? | ||
| A preservative is something that discourages bacteria from eating... | ||
| Food. | ||
| So what does it do to the absorption of the nutrients in your body? | ||
| What does it do to your gut microbiome? | ||
| What does it do to all those things? | ||
| And that's something that people don't take into consideration when you eat something that has preservatives in it. | ||
| You're taking into your body a thing that discourages living things. | ||
| Your food is not supposed to last on a shelf. | ||
| I'm sure you've seen those McDonald's cheeseburgers that people take and they put them on a shelf. | ||
| It's just sitting there ready to be eaten. | ||
| Some dude has one from, what was the oldest one that dude had? | ||
| From the 80s, I think? | ||
| I think so. | ||
| He's got a cheeseburger. | ||
| It looks perfect. | ||
| It looks like he bought it at noon and it's 6pm. | ||
| It looks like a 6 hour old cheeseburger. | ||
| It doesn't look like a cheeseburger that's 30 years old. | ||
| And I hate, but that is a thing I think about. | ||
| If I'm like, where do I want to, God willing we have a kid, my wife and me, where do I want to raise them? | ||
| I'm like, oh at the foundation, the food here is fucked. | ||
| Do we need to leave just to get better food? | ||
| You can get good food here. | ||
| You don't have to. | ||
| Do I have to hunt? | ||
|
unidentified
|
1995. That's bonkers, dude. | |
| That's so crazy. | ||
| It doesn't look that bad. | ||
| Yo, it looks fantastic. | ||
| That's 29 years ago. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This guy got it saved. | |
| Look at that dude. | ||
| He's all happy with himself. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Look. | |
| I got it saved. | ||
| Oh, is he eating it? | ||
| Is that second picture of him eating it? | ||
| Bro, he looks like he only eats that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| I think he's going to eat it. | ||
| That's crazy, dude. | ||
| Nah, he's faking it. | ||
| He's faking it. | ||
| He's not really going to eat it. | ||
| Yeah, okay, but that's crazy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's being silly. | |
| He looks terrible. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That poor guy look like he's been eating McDonald's his whole life. | ||
| Yeah, but you know what doesn't look terrible? | ||
| That hamburger. | ||
| Doesn't look bad. | ||
| Looks perfect. | ||
| Especially for that old. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's old as fuck. | ||
| That's a 30-year-old burger. | ||
| That's crazy, dude. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| A 30-year-old burger should not... | ||
| A 30-day-old burger should not last. | ||
| It should be gone. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| I mean, it should be gone. | ||
| Like, how long would it last? | ||
| Like, if rats never ate it, and you left it in an apartment, and then, like, society collapsed, and then, you know... | ||
| There's fries and a burger from 96, it says. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| What is wrong with these people that they're keeping a burger for 20 years? | ||
| Yeah, that's actually a great point. | ||
| Yeah, like, what kind of people are these? | ||
| Also, are they trustworthy? | ||
| How the fuck? | ||
| That's what I was just thinking. | ||
| How do you know? | ||
| It could be from Monday. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What else are they keeping? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Bags of shit. | ||
| They're probably shit hoarders. | ||
| Gotta be, dude. | ||
| Gotta be. | ||
| Colostomy bags all the way to the roof. | ||
| Have you ever seen that episode of Hoarders where the lady was a shit hoarder? | ||
| No, that would make me vomit for sure. | ||
| It almost made me vomit. | ||
| I hosted Fear Factor. | ||
| But Gillis showed it to me. | ||
| It's horrific. | ||
| I don't want to show it because we've showed it before. | ||
| But watch shit hoarders. | ||
| This one lady was a shit hoarder. | ||
| I'm gonna be honest, I will not watch that, but yeah. | ||
| She was eating the shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh! | |
| Dude, I can't do it. | ||
| I can't do it. | ||
| Yeah, I'm getting a little... | ||
| If you watch it, it's really... | ||
| She wanted to have one last meal in there. | ||
| Yeah, she wanted to have one last meal when they were about to clean out the place. | ||
| She's like, I've been eating poop for 20 years. | ||
| Oh, God. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| What is her gut microbiome like? | ||
| Probably better than that guy, eating McDonald's. | ||
| That's the thing! | ||
| Son, I'm gonna throw up. | ||
| You guys are hearing about it, I'm gonna throw up. | ||
| I know, I know. | ||
| It's rough. | ||
| Oh, God. | ||
| There's something about eating shit. | ||
| Like, your body is just like, no, no, no, no, no. | ||
| Like, have you ever done your mom's house? | ||
| No, no. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Your Mom's House podcast, they do a live pay-per-view show multiple times a year where they show things on camera. | ||
| They curate these things and bring comics on and they do sketches. | ||
| It's really fun. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They show you things that you cannot see any other way. | ||
| You would never be able to show it on YouTube. | ||
| It would be illegal. | ||
| You'd go to jail. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But you could do it in this thing because everybody's agreeing. | ||
| It's people eating their own shit, shitting into a plate, smearing it on their dick and jerking off. | ||
| Did they ever send you the thing they made for you, I think? | ||
| I'm not watching it. | ||
| Yeah, why would anyone? | ||
| I was just curious if you saw it. | ||
| I heard them talk about it, I think. | ||
| I don't even remember what it was, but... | ||
| Yeah, they wasted their energy on that. | ||
| I think they paid someone to make you like a special, you know, kick a cameo type stuff. | ||
| Yeah, fuck off. | ||
| I'm not watching that. | ||
| You know, shitting on yourself for Rogan is crazy. | ||
| Yeah, I'm sure it exists, and good luck. | ||
| I'm not seeing it. | ||
| I don't need to see that. | ||
| I'm busy. | ||
| I think it was for you. | ||
| Yeah, I'm sure it was, dude, because he knows I throw up. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because when he had me on the show, I almost threw up like three or four times. | ||
| Yeah, I can't handle it. | ||
| They're eating pizza and shit. | ||
| They're so desensitized to it. | ||
| It's like it's nothing. | ||
| That's weird. | ||
| Your mom's house has been highlighting some of the most fucked up human beings they could find on the internet for quite a long time. | ||
| Dude, what a misleading title. | ||
| I know. | ||
| My mom's house is such a comforting place. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Yeah, I don't know why they came up with your mom's house. | ||
| Where were you? | ||
| I was at your mom's house. | ||
| Ah, there you go. | ||
| It's a talking shit podcast. | ||
| It's a fun podcast. | ||
| It's a really good podcast. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| Tom and Christina are both hilarious. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But that pay-per-view show that they do is rough. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| It's rough. | ||
| And then the normal pod is not like that. | ||
| That's just a pay-per-view. | ||
| Yeah, but in normal pod, they'll show you some fucked up things, though. | ||
| Okay, okay. | ||
| They'll show you some fucked up things. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| It's not a crazy thing, dude. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| These subcultures are so funny. | ||
| Well, there's so many humans out there that are out of their fucking minds that they can gather together and get a community now. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Where, you know, if you're a guy who ate shit, good luck finding your peers. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Who's your colleagues? | ||
| Yeah, you hide that. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Now there's Reddit and you just find a guy who's like, me too! | ||
| You want to go on 4chan to get the real shit. | ||
| Oh, that's true. | ||
| Yeah, you want to get the real shit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But yeah, I put it on a plate. | ||
| You want to go to someone that's uncensored. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I tuck a bib in, I get a knife and fork, and then I... Dude, I mean, shitting and cutting it up and scooping it with a spoon. | |
| Choking on it while it's going down. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You see it stuck in between his teeth. | ||
| Oh, God. | ||
| Just chewing the shit. | ||
| Please, please, please, please, please. | ||
| Let's move on. | ||
| I can't do it. | ||
| I can't do it. | ||
| But meanwhile, for some guys, they're like, oh, anybody upload any new shit-eating content? | ||
| I'm really excited. | ||
| They get home and they're pumped for it. | ||
| Yeah, the internet is. | ||
| The variability of human beings is so extreme. | ||
| There's so many different kinds of people. | ||
| That's one of the things that you realize when you do a podcast, for sure. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because you talk to so many different people. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So many different conversations. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And you realize, oh, this guy thinks different. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Oh, she just has a different upbringing. | ||
| She has a way of looking at the world that I didn't consider. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then it's like it adds to your palate. | ||
| You know, it adds to your understanding of people. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| Because if you just live in a small town and hang around with the same people and you don't like to go online, you go to the same bar, whatever the fuck you do, you don't know how much people vary. | ||
| People vary so much, man. | ||
| There's so much variety on what it means to be a human being. | ||
| Yeah, that's actually, yeah, that's very profound, yeah. | ||
| I don't... | ||
| You could be some amazing person who is out there, like Jose Andres, going to these crisis areas and feeding people in Palestine, and you know that guy, Jose Andres, the chef? | ||
| No. | ||
| Amazing guy. | ||
| Oh, I know of him. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| He owns my favorite restaurant in Vegas, which is Bizarre Meats. | ||
| I don't know if you've ever eaten there before. | ||
| No, I have not. | ||
| Bro. | ||
| Next time you go to Vegas, that place is insane. | ||
| It's a full honeypot because when you walk in, they have those Argentine grills. | ||
| You know what a grill works grill is? | ||
| It's like these Argentine grills where they crank them and they raise and lower over live hardwood. | ||
| I think I've seen that, yeah, yeah. | ||
| So they have fire with real hardwood. | ||
| So the coals and the fire's crackling, the stakes are searing, and they raise them and lower them depending upon what point in the cook it is. | ||
| At the beginning of the cook, you start off high, like way above the flames, and you slowly lower it down to sear it. | ||
| You walk in, the smell! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh! | |
| It's amazing! | ||
| It's so good. | ||
| Well, that guy who runs that place is this incredible chef, and he goes, he went to Ukraine, he was feeding people in Poland when the Ukrainian refugees were trying to flee Ukraine during the beginning of the war when Russia invaded, and he's over in Palestine right now. | ||
| Where is he now? | ||
| Is he in the West Bank? | ||
| But anyway, so this guy goes over there and feeds people. | ||
| So you have this guy, who is this incredible chef, who's this beautiful human being, who's like really doing something that's selfless, really doing something that's just real charity, feeding people delicious food, because he's an incredible chef. | ||
| And then you have shit eaters. | ||
| On your mom's house. | ||
| You have people that are punching ladies for no reason. | ||
| You have chaos. | ||
| You have the wide spectrum of humans. | ||
| And there's so little thought and engineering in society of trying to figure out a way to mitigate all of our problems. | ||
| Instead, we just put band-aids here and band-aids there and spend more money and hire more government workers and spend, spend, spend and nothing gets fixed. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No progress at all. | ||
| If the government was the private sector The government was a business and other people could compete to be the government. | ||
| If iPhones sucked, Androids would just take over. | ||
| The reason why Androids are so good is because iPhones are so good. | ||
| But if you had to have a fucking iPhone, bitch, you'd have an iPhone 1. They have no reason to innovate. | ||
| If everybody had to buy an iPhone, our phones would suck dick. | ||
| They'd be terrible. | ||
| The reason why they're good is because of competition. | ||
| And government doesn't have competition. | ||
| The only competition they have is other government, which is horseshit. | ||
| Because it's fake. | ||
| It's all funded by the same people. | ||
| And it's not even profit-driven. | ||
| I worked at a not-for-profit organization for a few months, just as I was a comic trying to make money, and I was like, oh, no one works hard, because there's no bottom line. | ||
| There's no fear of losing your job. | ||
| The government is the same. | ||
| Government employees, they just take whatever time off they want. | ||
| They don't get fired. | ||
| It's the cushiest job every holiday off. | ||
| That was super evident during the lockdowns in Los Angeles, because the government was so flippant about closing people's businesses because they didn't lose any money. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| My thought was like, listen, if you're managing a city, how about this? | ||
| You want an incentive? | ||
| How about your income is based entirely on what the GDP of your city is? | ||
| Oh, that's sick. | ||
| Entirely. | ||
| So if you go in and whatever the GDP is, let's say the GDP is $1 billion, whatever it is. | ||
| I don't know what it is. | ||
| Let's say it's that. | ||
| If it dips below that, you lose money. | ||
| And if it goes above that, you probably get a little piece. | ||
| You get a little taste. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Get a little taste. | ||
| And you're not allowed to make speeches for $250,000 when you're out of office. | ||
|
unidentified
|
no no no no no no no no no no Hillary yeah Nobody wants to hear you talk for a quarter million. | |
| Nobody, dude. | ||
| What a fucking... | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's bribery. | ||
| No one. | ||
| You guys made deals. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Even if it's not a said deal, it's an understanding. | ||
| I also, I don't know if this is a reason, none of these, I don't know if they're reasonable, but the idea of getting reelected, I was like, at some point I was like, oh, they're just, they don't care about making the city better, they just want to get reelected. | ||
| So I'll go to these special interest groups who I know will vote for me, this voting bloc that I know will vote for me, I'll make them happy and I'll get reelected. | ||
| If you just gave a president or whoever one six to eight year term, but one term and then you're out, I think it would help mitigate a lot of the useless stuff that they do. | ||
| Slightly, but you would still get the vice president taking over afterwards. | ||
| They would set that person up. | ||
| They would make sure they maintain power. | ||
| They'd try to keep the same staff. | ||
| The thing about Biden right now, people are like, why does Biden want to run again? | ||
| Even if he doesn't really want to run again, his staff wants him to run again. | ||
| Because if he doesn't run again, if he doesn't win, they're all out of jobs. | ||
| So if you're that lady who's the White House press secretary, you're fucked. | ||
| It's like, who the hell is going to hire you? | ||
| The next person is not going to hire you to be the White House press secretary. | ||
| You're terrible. | ||
| You have to stay there. | ||
| You have to keep those jobs. | ||
| From White House press secretary, they're not going to be like, hey, Walmart is hiring greeters. | ||
| There's a lot of them female admirals, those fucking fake female admirals. | ||
| A lot of those people that you see in the White House, the head of health, whatever the fuck that person is. | ||
| That person ain't getting a job after Biden gets rid of him. | ||
| You think Trump's going to hire that guy? | ||
| Yeah, I just figured there's something. | ||
| Maybe outside of government, but something. | ||
| No, they gotta keep that job. | ||
| They want to keep that job. | ||
| All those people that are working in the administration, they're working very hard to keep that job. | ||
| And that's why you see all this crazy pressure on Trump. | ||
| That's a big part of it. | ||
| Big part of it is because he's gonna crack heads. | ||
| So there's a lot of united people trying to keep him out. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think, I was saying this on stage or something, but I didn't have a problem with Trump, but the noise that Trump brought, I was like, I don't want it anymore. | ||
| It's just too much infighting. | ||
| I feel like he's learned. | ||
| There's like a Trump 2.0 as of now where he's like, let me just not say the race-baiting shit and let me just keep it here. | ||
| And I think most people, casuals, are like, I could get on board with this guy. | ||
| Well, also, the race-baiting shit is a little bit more effective now that they let in 30 million people. | ||
| Oh, fair enough. | ||
| If you want to talk about the fears of immigration, now people see it. | ||
| They see the real consequences. | ||
| I mean, they're letting murderers out with no bail. | ||
| The whole thing is wild. | ||
| People are getting accused of murder. | ||
| They're getting arrested, and then they let them right out. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| This is a wild fucking time. | ||
| And no one wants to be in law enforcement. | ||
| No one wants that job. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's a hard job. | ||
| Nobody cares about you. | ||
| They treat you like you're the fucking enemy. | ||
| Nobody respects you. | ||
| I'm taking your word for all this. | ||
| Very few people respect you. | ||
| I'm very blissfully ignorant, so I'm just taking your word for all this right now. | ||
| Really? | ||
| You're selling me. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Well, you know that the defund the police thing is fucking insane. | ||
| Yeah, that was crazy. | ||
| And so then there's this attitude that the police were the problem. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Isn't it crazy like one instance captured by one person in the camera and it just starts a fire keg. | ||
| Yeah, well, look, I've been with a, I was with a Damien Lemon, black comedian friend of mine, and he got, like, I was with him when we got racially profiled. | ||
| He was going, they pulled him over, they're like, you're doing 24, searched the car, brought other cops, they were searching me, like, do you have any drugs? | ||
| I was like, I've never done a drug in my life. | ||
| And he was like, you better be honest right now. | ||
| This is your chance. | ||
| They sit us on the curb. | ||
| We go home, and then I look up, I'm like, they kept saying we're doing 24. What's the thing with 24? | ||
| I looked up, just Googled 24 miles an hour in New York City. | ||
| The speed limit was 25. So he was under the speed limit. | ||
| What? | ||
| And they still pulled us over, whole thing. | ||
| Now, he had one of these- Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. | ||
| It pulled him over for going under the speed limit? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Here's what bothered him. | |
| There's not a 20? | ||
| There's not a 20 zone? | ||
| Apparently it was 25. From what I Googled, it was 25. But even 24 to 20, it's like- Crazy. | ||
| Yeah, who's pulling you over for that? | ||
| How do you know? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Especially if you have a fast car. | ||
| Like, you gotta look down every five seconds. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| And so the one thing I think they were bothered by is a fan of his who was a cop gave him, like, the New York City vest that you can, like, park wherever you want to. | ||
| And so he was just parking, and they were upset about that, but, like, 24, and then calling backup cars and all that, I was like, there's something here, Rachel, going on. | ||
| I've never had this. | ||
| I've had a racist thing after 9-11, maybe one or two, but like, that I was like, oh, I see why this is. | ||
| And he was just, this was not that unusual for him. | ||
| I was like, this is crazy. | ||
| And he was like, what can you do? | ||
| Racial profiling is 100% legit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's no doubt about it. | ||
| So I think when you see these stories, Philano Castillo, I think was his name, or George Floyd or whatever, I think black people are like, I've been through that and I've been trying to tell you that happens and y'all don't want to listen to me, now you're seeing it. | ||
| Yeah, 100% it happens. | ||
| And then the storm comes. | ||
| Anybody that denies it happens, you're denying humans. | ||
| You're denying human nature. | ||
| You know how people are. | ||
| The real root of that is poverty and crime and gangs and drugs. | ||
| And no one's doing anything to stop that. | ||
| They're not doing a goddamn thing to stop that. | ||
| And hiring more cops is, you know, train them better. | ||
| Do everything you have to do. | ||
| Make sure that the cops are taken care of. | ||
| But... | ||
| You gotta fix the problem. | ||
| If you don't fix the problem, it's just gonna keep happening over and over and over again. | ||
| We had this guy on a long time ago that was a cop in Baltimore. | ||
| And while he was a cop in Baltimore, and his whole thing was about understanding the systemic racism involved in policing. | ||
| And that he didn't really realize it. | ||
| He was pretty honest about it. | ||
| He was, I was one of the bad guys until it kind of dawned on me what was going on. | ||
| I was the cop that didn't give a shit about the people. | ||
| I was the guy who would chase people down and yell at them. | ||
| But then over time, one of the things that they found, they found a police ledger They found a report of crime in the area in the 1970s. | ||
| It was like some old file. | ||
| And he's going through this old file and he's like, oh my god, it's the same crimes in the same place, but it's 40 years ago. | ||
| Like, this is fucking insane. | ||
| This is insane. | ||
| Like, how is this possible? | ||
| How is it, like, 1970, the same crimes are here today? | ||
| This is nuts. | ||
| And then he realized, like, oh my god, this is a broken system. | ||
| And then there's the whole redlining thing. | ||
| You wouldn't, if you were black, you couldn't buy homes in certain areas. | ||
| Like, they had... | ||
| Systemic racist practices, and then they never did anything about it, and then they had horrible policing, and then, you know, the wire. | ||
| You got fucking gangs and drugs and chaos. | ||
| And he realized it. | ||
| It was like, oh my god, this is a broken system. | ||
| So then he just started talking, going on podcasts, and talking to people about it. | ||
| What was it? | ||
| Did he have a proposed solution to fixing the system? | ||
| I mean, he's a cop. | ||
| I mean, I don't know if that's his thing. | ||
| He probably has some ideas. | ||
| I don't remember. | ||
| Honestly, I've talked to too many people, but someone's got to do something. | ||
| I don't know what you would do to do it, but it would be a long process. | ||
| If you think about, like, you've got to go all the way back to Jim Crow. | ||
| So you go to slavery, and then what happens after slavery? | ||
| Well, they don't have slavery anymore. | ||
| But you know what they do do? | ||
| They lock up black men for almost nothing and then force them to be slaves in prison. | ||
| And they create things, they work on the fucking chain gang. | ||
| All that shit is slavery. | ||
| And they would find ways to prosecute. | ||
| Look we know I've done a ton of podcasts with Josh Dubin who used to work with the Innocence project and now he's got his own thing with the Ike Perlmutter Center, but they They find people that are wrongfully convicted and help them get out. | ||
| Yeah, a bunch of those guys come on the podcast Yeah, one guy came on actually guilty Guilty. | ||
| He was guilty before, and we knew he was guilty, but he got 50 years, and then he was talking about how he turned his life around a month after he was on the podcast. | ||
| How long was it after he was on the podcast? | ||
| Two months? | ||
| Maybe two months? | ||
| Cut some dude's head off, and he was wearing a blonde wig. | ||
| Homie didn't understand new HD security cameras. | ||
| Like, this dude put a blonde wig on. | ||
| They got crystal clear footage of him with his goatee on, wearing a blonde wig, carrying some dude's head. | ||
| How sold were you in the room with him? | ||
| How good was he at selling himself as this reformed person? | ||
| Well, you know, what does it mean? | ||
| Okay, so he didn't kill anybody in jail, and then he's out now, and he's got this new lease on life, and he's out, and he's trying to do something different with his life. | ||
| When you listen to his explanation of what happened, why he went to jail... | ||
| He was a drug dealer. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And he had gone to jail before, and some dude owed him money. | ||
| Some dude, some drug deal, and the guy was like, fuck you. | ||
| So he found the guy, and he pistol whipped him. | ||
| And he robbed him. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| And he got 50 years for that. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And he was a habitual criminal, for sure. | ||
| So, should he have gotten 50 years for that? | ||
| Well, I don't know. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I mean, it seems like when he got out, he was kind of a bad guy. | |
| But was that because he spent 25 fucking years in jail? | ||
| I think he did 25 years before he left. | ||
| 24? | ||
| Before they let him out, which is an insane amount of time to be locked up in a prison and then expect to acclimate. | ||
| So you're saying, did prison make him much worse? | ||
| Yeah, did prison make him much worse? | ||
| Because it certainly can with some people. | ||
| But we've had people on that were innocent and prison made them amazing. | ||
| I mean, something about the constant studying and the accepting your situation in life even though you were innocent. | ||
| And then a lot of those guys got released. | ||
| It's crazy to see them like they lost 20 years of their life for something that was bullshit, complete bullshit, and then you find out that the cops and the prosecutors who were involved in their case had done that to many, many, many people. | ||
| That's another thing that people need to take into consideration. | ||
| How fucking dirty some people involved in prosecuting and convicting people are. | ||
| You remember that guy in Pennsylvania? | ||
| There was a guy in Pennsylvania who was a judge who went to jail because it turns out that he was getting paid to have kids arrested and sentence them into juvenile centers. | ||
| Wow. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Paid by whom? | |
| So he was getting a kickback. | ||
| He was getting kicked back from the center. | ||
| So the state has to pay for the population, right? | ||
| And then you have private prisons, which is even more sinister. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because then it's not just the incentive of the people that are working in the prison and the prison guards union, which is a real thing. | ||
| Prison guards unions work to stop marijuana laws from being... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because they want people to get arrested, so that people go to jail, so they have jobs, which is fucking crazy to think. | ||
| But private prisons make money off people being incarcerated. | ||
| If you make money off a person being incarcerated, now you have an incentive for incarcerating people. | ||
| Just like pharmaceutical drug companies have an incentive to give you drugs you might not even need. | ||
| Yeah, a thousand percent. | ||
| Because they make money doing that. | ||
| And if you're a private prison, you don't even have to treat them that well because they're prisoners. | ||
| Who's really going to get upset on their behalf? | ||
| A few people that we're not going to take seriously. | ||
| So if their conditions suck, it's prison. | ||
| They're prisoners. | ||
| Why do I need to treat them well? | ||
| Nobody cares. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, there's people that complain, but listen, there's some horrific conditions in prisons right now in this country. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And different prisons have different conditions and people know it and they try to get transferred to a prison that's lighter. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| It's not really necessarily a correctional facility. | ||
| It's called that, but the aim is not correcting. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| It's crazy when you look at the rest of the world, like how many more people in the United States incarcerates. | ||
| There is a business. | ||
| Capitalism has flaws, and one of the flaws of capitalism... | ||
| Is that if you have something that generates income from a specific action, it's going to encourage that action. | ||
| It wants more of that. | ||
| And then if it's making tremendous amounts of money, like the private prison complex, you're going to be able to manipulate things. | ||
| Pharma, like you said. | ||
| That same thing. | ||
| Everybody's got to take the drug. | ||
| And then every other drug, demonize it. | ||
| Go on television. | ||
| Tell people it's veterinary medicine. | ||
| We saw it. | ||
| We saw it in real time. | ||
| We saw the devil. | ||
| We really saw the devil. | ||
| We saw the real thing. | ||
| And now they're forced to admit it. | ||
| I mean, even the fucking CDC had to take down some insane amount of tweets that they were talking about ivermectin. | ||
| Really? | ||
| They lost in court. | ||
| They had to take it down. | ||
| The whole thing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Was the FDA or CDC? I also don't... | |
| I'm not sure that... | ||
| Well... | ||
| They took down a bunch of them. | ||
| What are you thinking? | ||
| What's going through your brain when CNN is doing that? | ||
| Like, in real time, when you're looking at you and being like, that's not what I looked like. | ||
| What are you thinking in that moment as it's happening? | ||
| Like, the first thought as you're scrolling. | ||
| My first thought is like, this will work for a little bit until I start talking. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Because this is not going to work. | ||
| First of all, they didn't understand that I had way more people that listen to my podcast than they have. | ||
| Like, way more. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| A multiplier. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Also, like, that's crazy. | ||
| If you think you're going to make me look yellow. | ||
| The video's still on my Instagram, you fucking idiots. | ||
| Everybody could see what I really looked like. | ||
| I was better in three days. | ||
| And you're upset because one of the medications that my fucking doctor prescribed, I talked about a stack of medications that I took. | ||
| I wasn't on TV saying, hey kids, you don't need to get vaccinated, just take ivermectin. | ||
| No, all I said was, I got COVID. I was doing shows with Chappelle that weekend. | ||
| I can't go because I have COVID, but I feel great. | ||
| I took this, we threw the kitchen sink at it, and I feel better. | ||
| And then I was like, Rogan's taking veterinary medication. | ||
| And you were canceling the show, which is what you're supposed to do. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I immediately realized, like, wow. | ||
| Wow, this is how dirty it really is. | ||
| Because it was the same verbiage everywhere, horse dewormer. | ||
| It was something that was, they were saying it to make you look foolish. | ||
| They weren't saying, a medicine that won the Nobel Prize, a medicine that's been used in, it's part of the World Health Organization's list of essential medicines, a medicine that's been prescribed billions of times. | ||
| They weren't saying any of that. | ||
| A medicine with one of the safest drug profiles known. | ||
| They weren't saying that. | ||
| I didn't even know any of this. | ||
| They were saying horse dewormer. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because they were banking on the idea that the casual observer doesn't understand how corrupt everything is and that they could just feed them bad information. | ||
| But in the age of the internet, when the government says things and everybody knows that it's not true or when the media says things and everybody knows that it's not true, It doesn't work forever. | ||
| It works in the beginning. | ||
| And there's still people out there that think I took veterinary medicine. | ||
| There's still people that think I was an idiot for taking ivermectin. | ||
| Yeah, there's a bunch of people that do... | ||
| They're surface level readers. | ||
| They read headlines. | ||
| They watch a quick clip on CNN. That's their consumption of media. | ||
| But most people are not like that anymore. | ||
| Most people have a real keen understanding that these people are like, Viciously corrupt and coordinated. | ||
| And when they coordinated in that way, it was such a dumb checkers move in a chess game. | ||
| It's just a stupid move. | ||
| You're playing tic-tac-toe. | ||
| This is retarded. | ||
| Similar to what people are feeling about the Trump prosecution. | ||
| Like, you're trying to make this guy look bad, and it's only going to make me like him more. | ||
| Also, you're doing it in a city that's overrun with crime, where women are getting punched in the face on the street. | ||
| You've got people pushing people in front of trains. | ||
| You've got so many real criminals that you're just letting out of jail with no bail. | ||
| That's so funny. | ||
| Because we talk about this on the pod, and I don't... | ||
| Again, I see... | ||
| What I will see is, like, I see more people just doing heroin on the street, which is crazy. | ||
| You see them doing heroin? | ||
| You see them. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sure. | |
| And actively shooting up. | ||
| I don't feel super unsafe. | ||
| There's a couple blocks in Manhattan, lower, I guess, the lower... | ||
| Like, not, like, 100s and below, where I'm like... | ||
| Walk around a lot, and I'm like, alright, be careful in these blocks. | ||
| But for the most part, I don't feel it. | ||
| Remember back in the day when you'd go to the McDonald's on McDougal, right by the cellar? | ||
| You'd walk into there and you'd be like, just have your head on a swivel. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| There's a few blocks in New York where I feel that way now, but largely I feel okay. | ||
| I don't. | ||
| And again, I'm a guy that's like, I'm a mark, so let's have your head on a swivel. | ||
| But I don't feel it as much walking through the city. | ||
| It is definitely, the heroin thing is wild. | ||
| But it is different, right? | ||
| It feels different. | ||
| I also think maybe I was privileged to move in the safest time New York has probably ever seen. | ||
| Like, I moved in 08. I would walk home from New York Comedy Club, which was on like 23rd and 2nd, to my apartment on 50th and 8th, at 1 in the morning, barely even think about it. | ||
| Damn, you'd walk that far? | ||
| Yeah, it's just... | ||
| How long did that take? | ||
| About 45 minutes. | ||
| Like a 45-minute walk. | ||
| Nothing crazy. | ||
| That's a little exercise. | ||
| Yeah, a little exercise. | ||
| You just walk off kind of the adrenaline or just whatever. | ||
| Actually, it's probably good for going over your material. | ||
| Yeah, and then you're going over your set, you're just taking it all in, taking some time. | ||
| It was a great walk. | ||
| It's peaceful at night. | ||
| New York is rarely peaceful, so it's just quiet. | ||
| Now, I don't know if I would do that, but back then it was just like, wasn't even a thought. | ||
| And it was so safe. | ||
| I really probably took for granted how safe New York was back then. | ||
| And now I don't think it's as safe, but it's not the 70s or 80s for sure. | ||
| Yeah, it's not the 70s. | ||
| I went there in the 80s. | ||
| I went there for a karate tournament in like 19... | ||
| It had to be like 86, 87, somewhere around then. | ||
| And I remember thinking like, this place is nuts. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| We went through Times Square. | ||
| I was like, this is nuts. | ||
| I heard Times Square was just like hookers and drugs. | ||
| It was all like peep shows. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Just weirdos. | ||
| Yeah, and now it's an M&M store. | ||
| You ever see that movie? | ||
| What was the movie with Dustin Hoffman and Jon Voight? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Was it Midnight Cowboy? | ||
| It was about gay hustlers in New York. | ||
| Yeah, Midnight Cowboy. | ||
| But that's like Times Square. | ||
| When people thought of Times Square, they thought of these nudie movie theaters and peep shows and just seedy drug dealers, weirdos. | ||
| Now it's all like fucking... | ||
| Yeah, there it is. | ||
| Good fucking movie, man. | ||
| I haven't watched that movie in forever. | ||
| Small time con, man. | ||
| Yo, they made some artistic movies back then that I just didn't realize. | ||
| Like, what's the movie? | ||
| Serpico. | ||
| No, it's just Serpico. | ||
| There's the one where Al Pacino's in Dog Day Afternoon, maybe, where he's robbing the bank or something. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah. | |
| And he's trying to pay for his boyfriend's sex change operations. | ||
| That movie being around back then blew my mind. | ||
| Because I assumed they were so conservative, that movie would not be an Al Pacino-led film. | ||
| Well, that was actually a true story. | ||
| I didn't know that, but... | ||
| Yeah, Dog Day Afternoon is based on a true story. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| In my brain, this was such a puritanical time in entertainment that a movie, even if it's a true story like this, would never get made. | ||
| Well, I think you could make that movie today. | ||
| Today, for sure. | ||
| But again, you think society's gotten so much more progressive and entertainment has gotten so much more liberal. | ||
| Now this movie makes perfect sense. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And it's about trans acceptance and all this stuff, and this was just a movie. | ||
| It's not just that. | ||
| Now it's in vogue. | ||
| It's like Hollywood has no soul. | ||
| They're not like, we're being more progressive. | ||
| They just think this is, oh, the wind's going that way. | ||
| Let's go that way. | ||
| Everyone should be trans, like South Park said. | ||
| Make it a chick and make it gay. | ||
| Yeah, absolutely, dude. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| I'm so glad we have, as comics, realized we don't need that validation anymore. | ||
| We got lucky, dude. | ||
| We got lucky because of this thing that's going on right now. | ||
| Well, actually, I think this thing that's going on right now couldn't be going on right now without the influence of the internet. | ||
| Right. | ||
| The internet has created this mind virus that's sweeping through college campuses. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And also the universities and the Marxist philosophies that they've been pushing in universities because they've all been infiltrated by Russia, by the former Soviet Union, and now by China and Russia together. | ||
| For sure they're influencing. | ||
| They push the wokest teachers, the wokest professors, the nuttiest policies, and they're literally doing it to deteriorate the fabric of American democracy. | ||
| They have, like, plans for it. | ||
| They've thought about it. | ||
| Like, Yuri Bezmanov talked about this in 1984. I've seen that clip. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| Crazy! | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| When you watch it today, like, they were right! | ||
| It's very prophetic. | ||
| He did it! | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They did it! | ||
| They really did it! | ||
| Thousand percent. | ||
| But, you know, The internet came along and threw gasoline on all those plans and made it much more chaotic. | ||
| But in doing so, it also created this other thing, luckily, because I think this other thing that we're doing right now, podcasts, being completely unregulated and being on even platforms that are corporate platforms like YouTube, pretty fucking unregulated. | ||
| No one's in flagrant. | ||
| No one's sitting down with you guys making sure you don't say anything wild. | ||
| Correct. | ||
| You upload it, and if you say something too wild, they'll flag it or they'll demonetize you. | ||
| But that's just that. | ||
| This could not have existed in any other time. | ||
| And so in the time where you have the most extreme polar social issues, and then you also have the most freedom of speech. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And even though they're trying to crack down on it with a lot of these... | ||
| I mean, I don't know how much you paid attention to the Twitter files. | ||
| Did you pay attention to any of that shit? | ||
| A little bit. | ||
| A little bit. | ||
| The fucking government was literally trying to censor true information that was on Twitter. | ||
| And they were successful. | ||
| And they infiltrated. | ||
| The intelligence agencies infiltrated various different social media platforms. | ||
| And if it wasn't for Elon... | ||
| We wouldn't know. | ||
| We would not know if it wasn't for Matt Taibbi and all those people that, like, Michael Schellenberger and Barry Weiss and all those people who went through the Twitter files and were like, look at this. | ||
| This is crazy. | ||
| This is crazy. | ||
| You wouldn't know that the actual government itself... | ||
| Is trying to sculpt the way people are allowed to disseminate information and see the world. | ||
| Yeah, because they've always been able to control everything. | ||
| And now it's like, well, we can control a little bit here and there. | ||
| See what we can do. | ||
| Tucker Carlson on the other day and explained to me Watergate. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And I was like, what? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Like Watergate, there was an intelligence officer who became a reporter, and that's Bob Woodward. | ||
| Oh, I didn't know he was an intelligence officer. | ||
| There was this young guy, became a reporter, like right away, first assignment, which never happens. | ||
| Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein is the other guy, right? | ||
| Which never happens. | ||
| Never happens. | ||
| The people that broke into the office, CIA agents, CIA informants, CIA employees, and then... | ||
| Gerald Ford was on the Warren Commission, and he was the only one that they would accept for Richard Nixon's vice president. | ||
| The other guy, Spiro Agnew, they hit him with, I think it was tax evasion, so he's out, they get rid of him, and then they get Nixon in there, and then they get him with this whole Watergate thing, and they get rid of him. | ||
| And then he was the most, apparently, he was the most popular president in U.S. history, and he won the election by the largest margin in U.S. history. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| And they got rid of him in two years. | ||
| And it was a complete coup. | ||
| They took him out. | ||
| Nixon? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| And what Tucker was saying, I don't know if this is true, but what Tucker was saying was that Nixon, he was very interested in the Kennedy assassination. | ||
| And he had said to the head of the CIA, I know why they killed JFK. Wow. | ||
| And he said nothing. | ||
| He just stared at him. | ||
| Apparently it's on video. | ||
| Or it's on video or audio or whatever it is. | ||
| So he was just explaining to me. | ||
| I'd never known that. | ||
| I thought Nixon was corrupt. | ||
| These intrepid reporters, these fucking go-getters, they busted him and they printed this thing and wow, we caught him. | ||
| He's a crook. | ||
| I still tend to believe that one more. | ||
| I'm not going to research, I'll be honest. | ||
| I want to pretend I'm going to research. | ||
| You don't have to research it. | ||
| If you just listen to what Tucker said, just listen to what he actually said about it. | ||
| We can play it for you. | ||
| Do we have a clip of that? | ||
| Is there a clip of that? | ||
| If you listen to what he's saying, you're like, wait, what? | ||
| I didn't know that. | ||
| I remember watching all the president's men and being like, oh, I see how journalism was important. | ||
| These two guys just changed the course of global history. | ||
| Bro, that might as well be a Chuck Norris movie. | ||
| That shit's straight fiction, son. | ||
| I'll break my heart, dude. | ||
| My wife got a master's in journalism. | ||
| I'm like, yo, what an important job this could be. | ||
| Oh, but it is an important job. | ||
| No, real journalism is very important. | ||
| And real journalism is critical for people to understand. | ||
| But I think a lot of the real journalism now is happening independently. | ||
| It's these people that they publish on Substack and they have a large following because people like Glenn Greenwald, people know that they can trust them. | ||
| They're going to give you the straight dope whether or not it's uncomfortable for you or not. | ||
| That's real journalism. | ||
| That's really important. | ||
| But as soon as you start working for a massive corporate entity like the New York Times or any other one, Washington Post, figure out what it is. | ||
| And that's where the Woodward and Bernstein, they were working for the Washington Post. | ||
| Do you find it? | ||
|
unidentified
|
The video? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Check this out. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Look at that. | |
| Well, the New York Times does that all the time. | ||
| But bizarre that they wouldn't have an issue with the government tapping into your phone. | ||
| They work for the government. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Are you kidding me? | |
| The New York Times? | ||
| Yeah, the New York Times is a conduit for the lies of government. | ||
| That's what it is. | ||
| It's their tool. | ||
| And they're perfectly aware of that. | ||
| I mean, I used to write for the New York Times as a freelancer. | ||
| I mean, I've been around the New York Times a lot. | ||
| And there are, yeah, there are a lot of really smart people there, for sure. | ||
| Even now, less so now. | ||
| But there's still, I think, smart people there. | ||
| There are, I know some. | ||
| And they know. | ||
| But they think that it's worth it because they're bringing information. | ||
| I don't know what they think, actually. | ||
| But no, they're tools of power, and that's the one thing that you're not allowed to be. | ||
| Even if you think the power is good, maybe they all support the agenda of the U.S. government, destabilizing the world and impoverishing their own population. | ||
| Maybe they're on board with that. | ||
| Even if they are, they shouldn't do it because the job of the media, the press, Is to keep power in check. | ||
| You are kind of like the seatbelt, right? | ||
| You make sure that things don't go too far. | ||
| And they're not doing that. | ||
| They're acting as a willing handmaiden. | ||
| When do you think that switched? | ||
| I think it's been the case for a long time. | ||
| I mean, if you look at what happened to Richard Nixon, which I, of course, did not understand at all, Richard Nixon was taken out by the FBI and CIA, and with the help of Bob Woodward, who was a Washington Post reporter who had been a naval intelligence officer working in the White House, working in the Nixon White House. | ||
| And then he shows up, like, a year later, and he's this brand new reporter. | ||
| He'd never been a journalist at all. | ||
| He's a naval intel officer. | ||
| The famous Bob Woodward, we all revere. | ||
| And he's at the Washington Post, and somehow he gets the biggest story in the history of the Washington Post. | ||
| He's the lead guy in that story. | ||
| Well, I worked at a newspaper. | ||
| I've been in the news business my whole life. | ||
| That is not how it works. | ||
| You don't take a kid like his first day from a totally unrelated business and put him on the biggest story. | ||
| But he was. | ||
| He was that guy. | ||
| And who is his main source for Watergate? | ||
| Oh, the number two guy at the FBI. Oh, so you have the Naval Intelligence Officer working with the FBI official to destroy the president. | ||
| Okay, so that's a deep state coup. | ||
| What else, how would you describe that? | ||
| If that happened in Guatemala, what would you say? | ||
| And yet, the way it was framed and the way that I accepted for decades was, oh, this intrepid reporter fought power. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| This intrepid reporter, Bob Woodward, was a tool of power, secret power, which is the most threatening kind, To bounce the single most popular president in American history, Richard Nixon, from office before the end of his term, and replace him with who? | ||
| Oh, Gerald Ford, who sat on the Warren Commission. | ||
| Now, how did Gerald Ford get to be Richard Nixon's vice president? | ||
| Well, because Carl Albert, the Democrat Speaker of the House, told him, you must choose him. | ||
| We will only confirm him. | ||
| When they sent the actual elected vice president away for tax evasion, Spiro Agnew, of Maryland. | ||
| So you have a complete setup, like an absolute... | ||
| Gerald Ford, the only unelected president in American history, actually sat on the Warren Commission. | ||
| Something else that I accepted at face value, until I looked at it, I was like, that's completely insane. | ||
| You didn't want to interview Jack Ruby in your investigation of the assassination? | ||
| Okay, you're fake. | ||
| Yeah, he was on the Warren Commission. | ||
| And so, sorry for the long story, but the point is, like, that happened in front of all of us, but the way it was framed cloaked the obvious reality of it. | ||
| The people who broke into the Watergate office building, from which the name is taken, Watergate, I think it was six of them or seven of them, all but one was a CIA employee. | ||
| That's real. | ||
| It's like look it up on Google. | ||
| So the whole thing, Richard Nixon was elected by more votes than any president in American history in the 1972 election. | ||
| He was the most popular by votes, which is the only way we can really measure popularity, the most popular president in his reelection campaign. | ||
| and two years later he's gone. | ||
| Undone by a naval intel officer, the number two guy at the FBI, and a bunch of CIA employees. | ||
| You tell me what that is. | ||
| Those are the facts, those are not disputed facts. | ||
| That's not crackpot shit. - Wild. | ||
| Wild. | ||
| Yeah, I need to look at it, too. | ||
| He said it, I'm taking it at face value, and I'm just telling everybody. | ||
| I'm not taking it at face value. | ||
| I'm not taking it at face value because he said it. | ||
| That's why. | ||
| It's been confirmed by other people to me. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck. | |
| That's true. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| He didn't lie. | ||
| If he lied, he'd be in real trouble, and the people would be saying what he's saying is not true. | ||
| That's fair. | ||
| A bunch of stories written about it. | ||
| That's fair. | ||
| No, that's actually what happened. | ||
| We talked about this on Flick. | ||
| We had Vivek Ramaswamy on the pod, and again, he's great. | ||
| I think he's a very poor communicator of his message. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, because he'll talk about the deep state and all these things that when, if you're like me, who's a casual guy, who I think is a larger percentage of guys who really want to do the research, They're like, this is deep state, deep state. | ||
| And he'll talk about it as if it's this conspiratorial, dark, sinister, rub their hands together kind of. | ||
| And he's like, no, basically it's just bureaucracy. | ||
| There's a lot of unnecessary jobs in the government. | ||
| I just want to cut the fat out. | ||
| And we might lose some muscle by cutting it out. | ||
| But I think these people are just kind of like parasites, bureaucrats, just unnecessary jobs. | ||
| And they are controlling things in a way that is just for self-preservation. | ||
| And they think they know what's best for us, but they don't. | ||
| And it's kind of arrogant, but it's like well-meaning, well-intended. | ||
| I think they frame it in that it's best for us. | ||
| Really, it's self-preservation. | ||
| Yeah, but he said, I think they truly believe, and it's kind of like an elitist thing where they're like, these people don't know what's good for them. | ||
| We know what's good for them, which is very snobby. | ||
| But the intention is we know what's good for them. | ||
| Let's do this. | ||
| And maybe at the root, it's it's self-interest. | ||
| But if he called it the managerial class or bureaucracy instead of the deep state, I think people would listen more. | ||
| They'd be more inclined to be like, let's see what this guy has to say. | ||
| But a president talking about the deep state is a tough sell to the large majority of people. | ||
| It is, but it like rings true with Trump people. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, deep state. | ||
| That's a good statement. | ||
| People like that sound. | ||
| And if he can get on a platform where he can really put his thought... | ||
| I think his brain dysfunctions at a high level. | ||
| I think he thinks this is how we're going to hear it. | ||
| He's like, you know what I mean? | ||
| Like, oh, these people aren't as smart. | ||
| I mean, they need to hear deep state. | ||
| That's what's going to work. | ||
| Well, he's also... | ||
| What is he, 38%? | ||
| Yeah, he's 38, I think. | ||
| That's very young. | ||
| Yes, incredibly young. | ||
| So he's learning this. | ||
| This is his first jaunt, right? | ||
| This is his first expedition into public speaking in front of the whole world about important issues. | ||
| He's going to learn from that. | ||
| Just like we were saying, there's Trump 2.0. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Vivek 2.0 in 2028. Vivek 2.0, great. | |
| Vivek 3.0, that guy's going to be fantastic. | ||
| Also, Vivek 2.0 will be in his 40s, which is easier to accept. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| He's got a little gray in his hair. | ||
| A little bit of life experience. | ||
| A little life experience. | ||
| Because I'm 39, I don't know shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Come on. | |
| You know what I mean? | ||
| How can a guy your age be president? | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| Buddy, I could barely run a household. | ||
| What are we talking about? | ||
| Exactly right. | ||
| This guy's younger than you, and he wants to be the president of the United States. | ||
| Insane. | ||
| That's insane. | ||
| Yeah, but I do think once he... | ||
| Put it like that, I was like, oh, that's a guy I would vote for. | ||
| I just want to get rid of the unnecessary jobs. | ||
| My wife's, both parents work for the government, state government. | ||
| They don't do anything. | ||
| The thing is, if all that stuff that Tucker's saying was true in the 1970s, 1972, or 74, they're still doing that. | ||
| They're going to do it to him. | ||
| It's probably what they're doing to Trump. | ||
| There's an element of that, folks. | ||
| Even if you fucking hate Trump, you should be very concerned about this stuff, because... | ||
| If this sets a precedent, if you can prosecute your political opponents and Republicans start doing it, you're going to be furious too. | ||
| If all of a sudden, so he gets out and then there's a new political guy. | ||
| Let's imagine that Trump wins and then it's Gavin Newsom. | ||
| And then the Trump administration starts going after Gavin Newsom and bringing him into court. | ||
| And having Republican judges run him up on charges. | ||
| And Republican prosecutors go after him. | ||
| That's not good. | ||
| That's not good for the country. | ||
| It's not good for anybody. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And you're all going to feel the same. | ||
| The same people who are in 2016, like Hillary got the election stolen because of Russia, in 2020, were like, shut up, Trump supporters. | ||
| You guys are crazy. | ||
| And it just flips. | ||
| And you guys are going to feel the exact same way if whoever you like on the Democrat side wins, and then they do this. | ||
| People have to understand that almost every election for the past 20 years has been disputed. | ||
| There was the John Kerry election. | ||
| That was disputed. | ||
| I remember Trump... | ||
| No, sorry. | ||
| Bush and... | ||
| And Al Gore. | ||
| Gore. | ||
| The dangling participles, right? | ||
| Is that what it was? | ||
| Hanging chads. | ||
| Hanging chads. | ||
| Dangling participles. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's a word phrase. | |
| That's hilarious. | ||
| It sounds just as dumb. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, the hanging chads. | ||
| Oh, that's stupid shit. | ||
| You know what's crazy? | ||
| I think they said Bush won Florida by like 500 votes. | ||
| And I think about like domino effect, and the domino effect of that is insane. | ||
| Because eight years of Bush is what got us eight years of Obama. | ||
| I think people were so done with Bush that they were like, Let's give a black guy a shot. | ||
| And then eight years of that, the white people that were kind of angry about Obama getting elected were like, fuck this, let's go to the guys that are going to piss them off the most. | ||
| Trump gets elected. | ||
| I feel like the domino effect of those 533 votes is crazy. | ||
| It's also Iraq and Afghanistan. | ||
| Oh, yes, absolutely. | ||
| Yeah, it's the invasion, the initial invasion of Afghanistan, the initial invasion of Iraq. | ||
| Yeah, for sure, absolutely. | ||
| No proof of that whatsoever. | ||
| Just 533 votes changed history forever. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's one of the wildest ones that's ever been done. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| The weapons of mass destruction. | ||
| That's a wild one. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And that no one went to jail for that. | ||
| No one got in trouble for that. | ||
| Like, wow. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| How can you do that? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| None of us questioned. | ||
| Can you imagine? | ||
| I remember in college, one guy being like, this isn't real. | ||
| And we were all like, what are you talking about? | ||
| He was like, this is George Bush Sr. What war did his dad fight? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And we're like, oh, fuck. | ||
| Yeah, I didn't even think about that. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And then you have George Bush, the one that won in whatever it was with the dangly chads. | ||
| Then you have 9-11. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Right? | ||
| So, he was a super unpopular president in September, and he gets, 9-11 happens, and then all of a sudden, everybody's on his side. | ||
| And the whole country's united. | ||
| And then, all of a sudden, we're invading Iraq, like a year later. | ||
| Like, what? | ||
| Like, what the fuck is going on? | ||
| And that is, I remember when the election was happening, they were like, no wartime president loses. | ||
| Bush is going to win a second term. | ||
| And he won. | ||
| And when Bush's dad was in office, you know, when the first initial invasion of Iraq, that was a weird one too. | ||
| Because it was like, Iraq invaded Kuwait, and then we invaded Iraq, and then we stopped short of overthrowing them. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It was weird. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I was like, we'll leave you there. | ||
| We're gonna get out of here. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I was just, you know, a term just struck me. | ||
| Remember Patriot missiles? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| I was five years old, and we got to hear about Patriot missiles, and I was like, that's fucking awesome, man! | ||
| Patriot missiles, we're such good guys! | ||
| And they had scuds, which sound wack. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| Scud. | ||
| Yeah, the marketing of... | ||
| Shitty-ass missiles you got. | ||
| Great marketing, though, honestly. | ||
| In 1990, Patriot missiles. | ||
| Yeah, we're gonna kill thousands of innocent people, but patriotism. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Pretty good. | |
| They did a lot of practicing then. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| They used stuff that they weren't supposed to use. | ||
| And one of the things they did was they used depleted uranium rounds. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Which just go right through tanks. | ||
| They fuck tanks up. | ||
| But the problem with depleted uranium rounds is it creates horrific radiation. | ||
| And all these soldiers were like... | ||
| Going through the wreckage of these things and picking up pieces of it and bringing it home as souvenirs. | ||
| And radiation sickness was a giant factor. | ||
| They called it Gulf War Syndrome after the first war, after Desert Storm. | ||
| For our soldiers? | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Massive amounts of miscarriages and childbirth defects. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| People got sick and they called it Gulf War Syndrome and they were denied. | ||
| They were denied, but they were denying that it was real until investigative journalists dug into it and found out that it was most likely the result of depleted uranium rounds. | ||
| Jesus Christ, man. | ||
| Yeah, apparently depleted uranium is the shit. | ||
| If you want to like fuck up tanks and stuff, like it just shoots right through them. | ||
| Used as weapons because it's so dense, it self-ignites at high temperatures and pressures and because it becomes sharper as it penetrates armor plating, according to the International Atomic Energy Agency. | ||
| As depleted uranium penetrator strikes a target, its surface temperature increases dramatically, according to Oak Ridge Associated University's Museum of Radiation and Radioactivity. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| So it's like the ultimate round for, like, stopping tanks. | ||
| Just goes through them like butter. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Boom! | |
| But the problem is it's depleted uranium. | ||
| It's, like, insanely toxic. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And so Google, like, whatever happened with Gulf War Syndrome? | ||
| The miracle I'm looking at is from recent. | ||
| We sent some to Ukraine recently. | ||
| What does it say? | ||
| Oh, we sent some to Ukraine? | ||
| Of course. | ||
| We probably got a bunch laying around when they made it illegal. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The Pentagon said it will send depleted uranium armor-piercing ammunition to Ukraine as a part of its new assistance package, a step senior Russian official called a criminal act. | ||
| Here's a look at the concerns. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| There's a lot of big gaps in here. | ||
| So this is now, but Google Gulf War Syndrome cause. | ||
| Man, the fallout from just serving our side in war is crazy. | ||
| Chemical warfare, particularly nerve gas. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Possible causes of Gulf War Syndrome. | ||
| Possible causes include chemical warfare agents, particularly nerve gas, or what's that word? | ||
| Pryodostigmine bromide, which is given as a preventive measure to soldiers likely to be exposed to chemical warfare agents. | ||
| So that might have fucked them up too. | ||
| Psychological factors such as post-traumatic stress disorder. | ||
| But what about Google Gulf War Syndrome depleted uranium? | ||
| Just do instead of cause, just depleted uranium. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Depleted uranium is both a chemotoxic and radiotoxic element. | ||
| Depleted uranium may be one of the causes for the so-called Gulf War illness. | ||
| Proposed effects of depleted uranium may be especially harmful if mitochondrial DNA is damaged. | ||
| Did depleted uranium cause Gulf War syndrome? | ||
| Click on that. | ||
| What does that say? | ||
| The illness suffered by soldiers who took part in the Gulf War syndrome was not caused by inhaling depleted uranium, according to a scientific study. | ||
| Instead, researchers believe the Gulf War syndrome may be due to soldiers being exposed to the nerve agent Sauron. | ||
| So, there's probably a bunch of misinformation that's put out by official people in regards to that, but I would imagine that would play a factor. | ||
| If depleted uranium was used And I know that a lot of the people, one of the things that they talked about, there was a documentary done on Gulf War Syndrome, and these people that were actually going through the wreckage of tanks wound up getting it, and they were talking about it that they didn't know. | ||
| Yeah, the burn pits that Jon Stewart talked about. | ||
| Oh, that's a big one. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's a big one. | ||
| He's such a hero for, like, actually bringing attention to that. | ||
| That's the greatest. | ||
| That's fucking terrifying that they would burn all their stuff and anybody would be downwind of that would be breathing in toxic fumes. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I have some buddies who served over there and they would talk about how horrific it was. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Man, that's what I'm saying. | ||
| Even if you survive war, you come home, who knows, you're going to have Gulf War Syndrome. | ||
| Awesome. | ||
| Like, how little do they give a fuck about you if they burn toxic shit and it goes downwind and just runs through the camp? | ||
| Being a government, I think, this is why there's some level of sociopathy involved, is you have to be okay with the baseline level of innocent death, I think. | ||
| It's just what it is. | ||
| And that's a crazy thought. | ||
| Well, that's the justification for Israel bombing Palestine. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Right? | ||
| You have to be, this is war, and it's Hamas' fault that those innocent people are there. | ||
| I'm like, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, not our fault. | ||
| That is a crazy way to think. | ||
| People go, hey, this is what war is all about. | ||
| Says who? | ||
| Is this the only way to do war? | ||
| Is this the only way that this can actually be done? | ||
| There's no other way that takes longer and kills less innocent people? | ||
| No way. | ||
| This is it. | ||
| The only way. | ||
| You want to swat a fly? | ||
| You've got to swat a fly with a fly swatter. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| It's also easy to talk like that when you're on the winning side of it. | ||
| Or you're not anywhere near it. | ||
| You're here. | ||
| You're here in America. | ||
| I was watching some video footage that I thought was legit, and it's not. | ||
| I sent it to Shane Gillis, and then I realized after I sent it to him, hey man, I think this is a fucking video game. | ||
| But let me show you, because it's so crazy. | ||
| It's YouTube, but it seems so realistic. | ||
| I'm stunned by how good video games are now. | ||
| Check this out, Jamie. | ||
| I just sent it to you. | ||
| Remember the Ghost of Kyiv we were reading about when the Ukraine and the Russian war started? | ||
| It was a fucking video game footage. | ||
| I bought in, I was like, this guy's awesome. | ||
| Bro, this looks so good. | ||
| This looks so good. | ||
| I thought this was like some high-resolution government footage where they were just showing you what they can do now. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| Go full screen. | ||
| Because this looks so dope. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| By the way, now looking at it on a big screen instead of my phone, it looks like a video game. | ||
| On my phone, though, with my 56-year-old eyes. | ||
| Now look at this. | ||
| Look at the fucking ripples. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| It sounds crazy. | ||
| This is incredible. | ||
| That this is a video game? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It does look like a video game on the big screen. | ||
| This makes me want to play video games though. | ||
| Goddammit, it looks good. | ||
| Yeah, I want to play this game. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Jesus. | ||
| How good are fucking video games now? | ||
| It's unbelievable. | ||
| It's only gonna get better, dude. | ||
| That's a real problem, man. | ||
| You're gonna live in that in five years. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And you're gonna love it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And you're gonna be happy. | ||
| But there was some stuff. | ||
| Back it up a little bit, Jamie, because they go back and forth from black and white. | ||
| They show the rockets headed towards it. | ||
| A little further? | ||
| Yeah, right there. | ||
| Back it right there. | ||
| Watch. | ||
| Check this out. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| When they show, like, the whatever sensors that they're using in this video game to track missiles. | ||
| Check this out. | ||
| Oh, this is crazy. | ||
| And then they have a camera on the missile. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Nah, this seems crazy real. | ||
| Crazy real! | ||
| This looks like you're looking at it through... | ||
| Yeah, look at this shit. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| So they're going through different filters, different ways of looking at it, and then later on they show the actual missiles headed towards it. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| See if you get where the actual missiles are. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| Back up right there. | ||
| Right there. | ||
| Where it's black and white. | ||
| This is crazy. | ||
| This is wild shit, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| The fact that this has been being done through... | ||
| This isn't the transition that I saw earlier. | ||
| I don't know when it is. | ||
| It's a long-ass video. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But it's pretty incredible. | ||
| No, this is... | ||
| But it looks so realistic. | ||
| Yeah, we're going to be the Matrix, where you're just plugged into a thing, and you're just living... | ||
|
unidentified
|
100%. | |
| I just hope my life is good in that Matrix. | ||
| Well, it's going to be better than the Matrix, because it's not going to be like a regular life. | ||
| You're going to be on a dragon. | ||
| You're going to be living in Never Never Land. | ||
| You're going to be living in some crazy Narnia world. | ||
| You're going to be able to do anything you want. | ||
| What is the game? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Arma 3. Arma 3. Yeah, I mean, this is brand new. | |
| April 21st. | ||
| I don't even know what that game is. | ||
| Literally, this video came out yesterday. | ||
| It was fucking nuts, man. | ||
| It just stumbled across my feed and I thought it was legit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| For like 38 seconds. | ||
| Son, that game is, I mean, it's crazy what video games are doing. | ||
| There's now, like, I watch the NFL a lot. | ||
| When a guy scores a touchdown, they use like a 6K camera, and you look at that, and you're like, oh, that looks like a video game. | ||
| 6K, the more crisp reality looks like the video game now. | ||
| I was watching a video yesterday on YouTube that was a review of the Google Pixel 8 Pro, and apparently it has AI in it that can give a smile for For your kid's face. | ||
| Oh, that's creepy. | ||
| It's correct, because he said, the guy was reviewing, he said, my one kid is never paying attention, never looked, well, then get a picture of him not paying attention. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You fucking weirdo. | ||
| Like, you're changing your kid's personality to be like this smiley guy who stares at the camera. | ||
| Yeah, it's a scary thought. | ||
| You can manipulate people's faces. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So you can swap their face around. | ||
| I saw someone, Lex tweeted yesterday this picture. | ||
| In the response, someone made that look. | ||
| He's smiling. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Well, have you seen the new Microsoft software where they can take a photograph, just a photograph, and then with your voice have you say all kinds of shit in video, and it looks seamless. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| I'll send you that, Jamie. | ||
| It looks fucking seamless. | ||
| You see it, and you're like, this is incredible. | ||
| How is this that good? | ||
| It's so fucking good now. | ||
| It's going to be really fun. | ||
| Here it is. | ||
| I'll send it to you, Jamie. | ||
| I think... | ||
| I think, yeah, we're going to... | ||
|
unidentified
|
You got it? | |
| Yeah, this is it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
...all my attention, all my time on listening. | |
| So instead of doing something else, I just listened, listened, and listened. | ||
| Because I'm a true believer that if you're really bad at something, like listening, for example, it only shows you that, hey... | ||
| The sound is not synced correctly in this video. | ||
| I think it's... | ||
| It's going to get better and better, though. | ||
| Yeah, but this is not how it looked on my phone. | ||
| On my phone, it looked different. | ||
| There's like a little disconnect here. | ||
| You keep blaming your phone for... | ||
| What's that? | ||
| You keep blaming your phone for these wrong things. | ||
| Yeah, no, no, no. | ||
| It's just going from the computer. | ||
| Yeah, no, I'm kidding. | ||
| I'm kidding. | ||
| But also, even if it's not perfect, this is the worst it will ever be. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| That's what I always think about. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Oh, it's not. | ||
| It's not. | ||
| You can tell. | ||
| This is the worst it will ever be, and it will get exponentially better and better faster and faster. | ||
| And I think they only need 30 seconds of you talking. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The Mona Lisa's rapping. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| Give me some of that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's crazy. | |
| Bro, that's Mona Lisa. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| It looks pretty good. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And you would not have imagined this five years ago. | ||
| Five years ago. | ||
| Five years ago, you'd be like, what is that? | ||
| That must cost a billion dollars to do. | ||
| I think three years from now, you're not going to be able to tell at all. | ||
| No. | ||
| Especially guys like you or I, who've had so many hours of us talking. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's so many hours of you talking. | ||
| But the good thing now then is probably we can just say whatever we want to and be like, that was fake. | ||
| That's crazy hateful stuff, but that was fake. | ||
| I wonder if there'll be a way to tell. | ||
| I wonder if, I think eventually there won't be. | ||
| I think there's probably going to be a way to tell for a little bit, but then eventually there won't be. | ||
| Yeah, and then we just don't take it that seriously, hopefully. | ||
| Because there's a lot of other things you could edit on a phone now. | ||
| Like with the Samsung phones, you could delete things from the background. | ||
| It has AI. So like if someone's in the background, fuck that dude. | ||
| Just put a circle around them, the guy goes away. | ||
| Now he's not in your picture anymore. | ||
| And then they could literally move the position that you're in. | ||
| So if you're in the center of the thing, you're like, I want to be behind that park bench. | ||
| They just put you behind the park bench. | ||
| Dude, for my special, luckily we got prize picks to help me pay for the cost and then we did like an ad read in the middle. | ||
| The background, we filmed it on a green screen and my guy Kev created that background in like 30 seconds and you can't tell the difference. | ||
| It looks like maybe slightly different but so many people are like, did he stop the middle of his taping to do an ad read? | ||
| It looks so good. | ||
| It just added this stuff into, which probably before your guy got to it, but this has just been added to video editing software, some of the AI stuff we've been talking about. | ||
| It's now built into the actual editing software. | ||
| It's like what just happened on screen was they changed the small amount of diamonds into a large amount of diamonds, and it now works in the video that they're using. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Just changing things, leading things right out of there. | ||
| That would take hours before. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| It might take a few people to do it. | ||
| And now it's instantaneous. | ||
| It took 10 seconds. | ||
| You didn't even know it was supposed to be there. | ||
| There's videos now. | ||
| I'm going to send you this, Jamie, because this video is entirely AI. The whole thing is a sci-fi trailer for a movie. | ||
| It's entirely AI and you would never believe it. | ||
| And again, what you just said is only going to get better. | ||
| This is the worst it's ever been. | ||
| Worst it's ever going to be. | ||
| It's going to get better real quick. | ||
| But this whole trailer that we're going to watch is entirely generated by AI. There's no actors. | ||
| There's no scenes. | ||
| This is all done on a computer. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This is not a sci-fi movie. | |
| What the fuck? | ||
| Dude, close-ups. | ||
| Dude, the people look completely real. | ||
| Look at the ocean, Amalfi Coast. | ||
| That's beautiful. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This is not a drone shot from the Amalfi Coast. | |
| Wow. | ||
| Look at the people moving. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Everything looks real. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This is not a snippet from a Natural Geographic documentary. | |
| I mean, what the fuck? | ||
|
unidentified
|
That looks crazy. | |
| Look at the dog, man. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| Do you remember how bad the dogs looked in I Am Legend? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The tigers? | ||
| The lions, rather? | ||
| Do you remember that scene? | ||
| Yeah, I do. | ||
| There's a scene when Will Smith is going through New York City, and the lions are out, and the lion takes out a deer in front of him. | ||
| See if you can find it. | ||
| It looks so CGI. It's so corny. | ||
| They shouldn't have even put it in the movie. | ||
| I wonder if at the time you think it looks real. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| And then you go back and you're like, this is the worst. | ||
| No. | ||
| I remember at the time, I was like, get the fuck out of here. | ||
| Because I watched a movie like 10 years later. | ||
| These deer look fake. | ||
| Dope Mustang, though. | ||
| Look at that Mustang. | ||
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| Driving around in a Shelby. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So watch this. | ||
| He's hanging out here, and he sees this deer, and he's about to shoot this deer because he wants some food. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Watch this line. | ||
| Look how fake this looks. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, it looks terrible. | |
| It looks so bad. | ||
| It looks so fake. | ||
| It looks almost as fake as his marriage. | ||
| Almost. | ||
| Not quite. | ||
| Not quite. | ||
| Almost. | ||
| Some people live in hell. | ||
| They really do. | ||
| They stay living in hell. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, what a sad case that was, man. | ||
| He meant so much to me as a kid. | ||
| And now it's just... | ||
| All with one moment where he couldn't take a joke. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Or she couldn't take a joke. | ||
| One moment, and the whole guy's reputation is gone now. | ||
| All they had to do was just laugh it off. | ||
| I know. | ||
| And he was laughing. | ||
| G.I. Jane, mild shit. | ||
| Not even remotely. | ||
| And this is a... | ||
| Dude, it would have been one thing if she wasn't trying to be famous and he just brought her into a joke if she wasn't a celebrity. | ||
| But he's not making fun of your wife. | ||
| He's making fun of a celebrity. | ||
| Not only that, G.I. James is a badass movie. | ||
| Yeah, also, she's fucking awesome in that movie. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Isn't it like Navy SEALs she's training for in that movie? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Okay, God forbid. | ||
| She's a beast. | ||
| Yeah, God forbid you compare my wife to a Navy SEAL. How dare you? | ||
| That was like a big thing in the movie where Demi Moore said, suck my dick. | ||
| Did she really? | ||
| That's fire, dude. | ||
| It was in the movie. | ||
| That's fire. | ||
| Yeah, she's a beast. | ||
| Yeah, I would love for my wife to compare to this Navy SEAL saying, suck my dick. | ||
| It's hilarious. | ||
| Also, she's still hot in the movie. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I remember that. | ||
| She's still hot, bald. | ||
| She looks great. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Like, what's the big deal? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Jada still looks great. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Whatever, alopecia. | ||
| Yeah, oh yeah. | ||
| Looks pretty uniform. | ||
| What drove me crazy is I saw a video, when we were talking about it on Flagrant, you're looking at stuff, right? | ||
| You're researching, and there was a video of her being like, all I can do is laugh about it now. | ||
| That's all I can do. | ||
| So then someone made a joke, that's your opportunity to laugh about it, but you just took it so poorly. | ||
| Well, she just rolled her eyes, gave sideways face, and then Will, whatever's wrong with them, that's what it was. | ||
| Like, whatever he's trying to prove to her, whatever chaos is in that relationship, and maybe it is alopecia. | ||
| Maybe it's like that's just so sensitive that he realized, fuck, I gotta go slap him. | ||
| It's like the hot button topic around the house. | ||
|
unidentified
|
She's losing her hair. | |
| I don't know. | ||
| But either way, what a terrible decision. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And also, it showed you how vacant Hollywood is. | ||
| That they gave him a standing ovation just moments afterwards. | ||
| Insane! | ||
| Insane! | ||
| For playing a guy who there are abuse allegations around. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Richard Williams. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Crazy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Just what a crazy fucking thing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Just the whole thing was nuts. | ||
| And it just showed how insane Hollywood is. | ||
| How disconnected they are. | ||
| And then it took the next day or so for the rest of the world to be like, hey... | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then it all fell apart. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But those dummies were willing to go along with it, like, clapping. | ||
| Yeah, that was crazy. | ||
| Even though you just smacked a guy and ruined the Oscars. | ||
| Yeah, assaulted a guy who's, what, half a foot shorter than you, maybe? | ||
| And weighs eight pounds. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Chris Rock's the least intimidating guy that's ever held a mic. | ||
| Well, I have something to say about that. | ||
| I think you might fuck him up. | ||
| Really? | ||
| I think so. | ||
| Okay, fair enough. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I don't know. | ||
| I don't want to find out. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Maybe he'll get you. | ||
| But the point is, this is not a threatening guy to go up and physically assault him. | ||
| It's just crazy. | ||
| But it's just, you know, people lose their minds, man. | ||
| They lose their minds. | ||
| Yeah, I remember thinking about this in like 07. I did like a student film. | ||
| Obviously nothing. | ||
| I barely got paid anything. | ||
| But I remember I went to go get Chipotle. | ||
| And then the people freaked out. | ||
| They're like, hey, if you want something, you just tell us. | ||
| We'll go get it for you. | ||
| You don't need to... | ||
| And I remember being like, oh, I could just ask for anything I want and y'all would get it. | ||
| And they were like, yeah. | ||
| And I was like, that's crazy. | ||
| So imagine actually being famous. | ||
| Imagine being Will Smith. | ||
| No one says no to you ever. | ||
| If Will Smith was like, fly to Columbia, buy me coffee beans every day before I shoot, they would find a guy to do that. | ||
| How do you come out normal? | ||
| There's no way to be normal and healthy and all. | ||
| I can't see it in that world. | ||
| Well, you have to not participate in that. | ||
| You have to not be that guy. | ||
| You have to recognize that that's a dangerous road to go down. | ||
| You'll lose your humanity. | ||
| It's hard, though, I imagine. | ||
| And the one good thing about comedy is you will get humbled. | ||
| I will bomb at some point eventually, and it will remind me, oh, yeah, yeah, I'm not better than anybody else. | ||
| Yeah, comedy's a different animal. | ||
| It's very hard to be that cocky and be a comedian. | ||
| You get humbled. | ||
| That's one of the reasons why fighters are so nice. | ||
| Dude, I hung out with Henry Cejudo and Kelvin Gaslin that came to my shows in Tempe. | ||
| Just the best, Hank. | ||
| Every fighter's great. | ||
| Henry Cejudo's hilarious, by the way. | ||
| He's giving you shit. | ||
| He's taking shit. | ||
| He has five minutes of stand-up. | ||
| It's actually not that bad. | ||
| I kept telling him. | ||
| I was like, dude, I've seen more of your stand-up than I have your fights. | ||
| And it was pretty good. | ||
| Kelvin's just the nicest guy. | ||
| But yeah, there's a humility to... | ||
| Maybe Chris Rock got a lot more humble. | ||
| Maybe a lot of people are hoping that happens to me. | ||
| Well, Chris Rock woke up. | ||
| For sure, because Chris Rock's stand-up got better. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Everybody that saw him after that, like Tom Segura went to see him when he did the arena in town. | ||
| He goes, bro, he was on fire. | ||
| Really? | ||
| He goes, it was like, bring the pain, Chris Rock. | ||
| He was markedly better than he had been before. | ||
| Really? | ||
| He goes, it was amazing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It was amazing, and that's what it was. | ||
| It was like he realized, like, fuck those people. | ||
| I was trying to get those people to like me. | ||
| I was trying to do movies, and I got slapped, and they applauded that guy afterwards. | ||
| That's insane, dude. | ||
| Fuck them. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's too good for that gig anyway. | ||
| That gig sucks. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then he had to try to go and do jokes after he got smacked. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Which was the worst. | ||
| Saying I'm not going to address it. | ||
| Ugh. | ||
| I mean, that is the worst. | ||
| When he tried to do material after he got smacked, the whole thing was crazy. | ||
| We're not talking about anything else, Chris. | ||
| You're my hero. | ||
| We're not talking about anything else. | ||
| Well, he didn't know what to do. | ||
| He probably never would have imagined that that would have happened. | ||
| There was a moment in the moment where he goes, Will said something, and he goes, boy, I could... | ||
| And then he just goes on and finishes giving the award. | ||
| I know why he didn't and that was the mature thing, but I wish he had just unloaded. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I wish he had just gone it. | ||
| Because I'm positive a thought crossed his mind and then he decided against it. | ||
| And I would love to see Chris Rock just... | ||
| I think the best thing would have been to do would be to say, no one's going to do anything about that. | ||
| Like, someone could just come up here and hit me, and you guys don't do shit? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And you want me to host your awards? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, say something real in the moment like that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| But how... | ||
| That's a Monday morning quarterback. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Who knows what anybody would have done. | ||
| And you risk looking like a bitch, being like, nobody's gonna help me? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Which, true, Will Smith's a big dude. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You're not. | ||
| But it's still... | ||
| You look like a bigger bitch getting slapped at me. | ||
| Like, are you guys not gonna do anything about this? | ||
| You look like a Karen or whatever. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Well, you can't... | ||
| I mean, it's like... | ||
| Jim Carrey said he should sue Will Smith for like $50 million, and I was like, yeah, you're on board with that. | ||
| This guy's career is forever altered because of that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| This guy made some of the greatest comedy specials in the history of the world, and we're going to talk about the slap right there with that, if not before that. | ||
| But the comedy, like his audiences went way up. | ||
| His ticket sales went through the roof. | ||
| Oh, that's good. | ||
| They went through the roof. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's good. | |
| I was talking to the people that handle his shit. | ||
| They were like, dude, it was crazy. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Everything was just selling out immediately. | ||
| That's great, at least. | ||
| Because everybody wanted to see him, and they wanted to see what he had to say. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And for a while, he wasn't even talking about it. | ||
| Yeah, he's... | ||
| Because Chris is smart, right? | ||
| He's not going to just come out with material right away and start talking about it. | ||
| People are going to film it and record it and tell everybody. | ||
| So he waited. | ||
| He waited until he really developed the material. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Really figured out what to say. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He is my comedy. | ||
| Him and Chappelle and... | ||
| Patrice I found when I got older, but I remember being kids and being like, oh fuck, this is what stand-up can be. | ||
| And that's a big reason I even entered stand-up in the first place. | ||
| Yeah, his first two specials were insane. | ||
| Bigger and Blacker and Bring the Pain are two of the best of all time. | ||
| Dude, Bigger and Blacker coming a year, like a year and a half after Bring the Pain, it's unbelievable how good it is. | ||
| to have come out with all your best stuff that you've been doing for however long as a comic by 12 15 years at that point Bring the pain historic and then a year and a half you have a special that's arguably better Insane man. | ||
| Yeah, like I think about that all the time Yeah, those are two of the bangers to like if you go and look at like all-time greatest specials Those two are definitely up there. | ||
| Yeah, and to see a guy like that just gets smacked also to see a guy like that hosting the Oscars like Do you can imagine Sam Kinison or Richard Pryor hosting the Oscars? | ||
| Like, get the fuck out of here. | ||
| Why are you doing that? | ||
| You shouldn't be doing that anyway. | ||
| I mean, that was the path back then, right? | ||
| I think this is a little bit of Monday Morning Quarterbacking, where back then it was Eddie Murphy, do stand-up, be a legend, go do movies, be a legend, do whatever you want to after that. | ||
| And Chris was doing, the stand-up was still insane. | ||
| I think, even Never Scared, fantastic. | ||
| You watch that, you're just like, wow. | ||
| Four specials that are just like, or was it his third special? | ||
| But all just historically great. | ||
| And then you got the movies, and you got that, and now you're just like, I do whatever I want. | ||
| He was right there. | ||
| That was the path. | ||
| But the thing is, they all wanted to be in with Hollywood. | ||
| Everybody wanted a movie or a television show. | ||
| They all wanted that Hollywood money. | ||
| Because that's the only path that existed before the internet. | ||
| This is a very interesting time for media. | ||
| It's a very interesting time for what people consume. | ||
| Yeah, I think now we might not have as much fame or power or whatever, and that's fine because we get to kind of do what we want. | ||
| And that's great. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I think people are more famous now. | ||
| There's more guys doing arenas now than ever before. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| Yeah, stand-ups had a real boom. | ||
| Hinchcliffe sold out Madison Square Garden two nights in a row in an hour. | ||
| I mean, Kill Tony. | ||
| I did Kill Tony after I did Rogan the first time. | ||
| I think the last time I was in Austin, but I remember watching him. | ||
| Tony and I started around the same time, and I'm watching him and Kill Tony, and I'm just like, holy fuck. | ||
| You are amazing at this. | ||
| He's the best ever. | ||
| He's the best host of those kind of shows ever. | ||
| He's so quick. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I took Tucker to Kill Tony. | ||
| Yeah, that moment with him and Cam Patterson was so good. | ||
| Tucker didn't even know he was going on stage. | ||
| He had no idea. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, I wasn't even going to bring him on stage. | ||
| I showed up with him. | ||
| We were having dinner. | ||
| And I said, me, him, and Lex Friedman. | ||
| And I said, do you want to see the club? | ||
| And he's like, yeah. | ||
| You guys got nothing going on tonight? | ||
| Let's go Kill Tony's there tonight. | ||
| It'd be awesome. | ||
| It's a crazy show to watch. | ||
| It's like one of the best live shows you can go see. | ||
| So we get there, we're backstage, and I text Tony, hey, I'm coming, I'm bringing Tucker Carlson. | ||
| And so we get backstage, and he texts me, and he's like, come on stage. | ||
| And I was like, really? | ||
| I go, all right. | ||
| I did it once before with Post Malone. | ||
| Post Malone had no idea he was going to be on Kill Tony. | ||
| I just brought him to the club, and then brought him right on stage. | ||
| And he was like, this is crazy! | ||
| And that's what we did with Tucker, too. | ||
| Just brought him on stage, and he goes out there, ladies and gentlemen, Joe Rogan and Tucker Carlson! | ||
| And the place went nuts, and he was great! | ||
| Yeah, he seemed really good. | ||
| The way he handled the camp thing, both of them handled that so well, I thought. | ||
| It was hilarious. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, dude, Post was amazing. | ||
| Post is amazing. | ||
| He was great at it. | ||
| I've heard he's the nicest guy, too. | ||
| I wonder how he is in that format. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's so sweet. | |
| He's so sincere. | ||
| David Lucas said he looked like an unemployed crocodile hunter. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's good. | |
| That's good, dude. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Amazing. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Amazing. | ||
| And he just takes the jokes and he's good with it. | ||
| Oh, he's great. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| He's a sweetheart of a guy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Him and Jelly Roll. | ||
| Jelly Roll's been on it. | ||
| Jelly Roll is my favorite, man. | ||
| I love that guy. | ||
| Such a beautiful human being. | ||
| Truly. | ||
| Like a beautiful soul. | ||
| Him and that Mexican OT are like kindred spirits to me. | ||
| We had them both on separately on the pod and I was like, I said OT, I was like, you need to collab with that guy. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That Mexican OT and Jelly Roll would be amazing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And that Mexican OT's manager and I are fairly cool. | ||
| Greg, get out of Jelly Roll, dude, because that guy helped. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That'll happen. | |
| I got Mexican OT as my intro for my special, and I didn't realize what a pain in the ass that can be. | ||
| And luckily, OT's manager, Greg, was like, we're going to get this done. | ||
| We're going to get this done. | ||
| We're going to get this done. | ||
| That's the only reason I could get it cleared from, I think, UMG or whatever the label was. | ||
| So, yeah. | ||
| But OT was also like, he hit me up afterward, like, hey man, I love the special. | ||
| I love the dance. | ||
| Thank you for using my song that way. | ||
| Just like, so sweet. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, you did me the biggest favor. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Ever. | ||
| And then to thank me is just like, what a sweet kid, man. | ||
| Yeah, he's a dope guy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I like him a lot. | ||
| I like him a lot. | ||
| Also got the Texas manners. | ||
| Yes, sir. | ||
| I remember he asked us a question. | ||
| He said, may I show you something? | ||
|
unidentified
|
And I was like, what a well-mannered... | |
| Sweet kid, man. | ||
| Yeah, who sings gangster rap. | ||
| Well, yeah, who will probably beat the shit out of you. | ||
| It's like a country flavor. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Country flavor to his rapping. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's very unique. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| And comfortable. | ||
| Cowboy Killer was the first song that I ever heard. | ||
| Tony played it for me. | ||
| Really? | ||
| He's like, you got to hear this. | ||
| You ever heard of That Mexican OT? I'm like, no. | ||
| He played it for me. | ||
| I'm like, oh, shit. | ||
| I was like, this is good. | ||
| And then I started listening to his other stuff. | ||
| They're all bangers. | ||
| Fantastic. | ||
| Like an artist. | ||
| Yes, yeah. | ||
| Who just grew up in rap and that's what he knew and now I think he's gonna expand more and more and more. | ||
| Yeah, I love that kid. | ||
| Yeah, he's great. | ||
| And he's young too, man. | ||
| He's got a massive future. | ||
| Yeah, truly. | ||
| Mega talent. | ||
| Him and Jelly both. | ||
| Isn't that a cool thing about doing a podcast too, that you get to meet all these interesting people? | ||
| Yes, dude, yes. | ||
| The Brian Johnson guy was fascinating. | ||
| And you have these ideas of these people and then you sit down and talk with them and you're like, oh, that was completely wrong. | ||
| I guess that's probably most human beings, but you get this idea of a person and then you talk to them and you're like, wow. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But it's also like other people get that too. | ||
| Like you're doing a service for other people. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And it kind of like informs other people. | ||
| Like, hey, maybe I have misconceptions about people just because I see this public image and I think that's who they are. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It actually ties into what we were saying earlier is about like letting other people's opinions affect you. | ||
| I was listening to some podcast. | ||
| I forget what it's called. | ||
| But the guy goes, most people are very flippant with their opinions. | ||
| They just throw it out there. | ||
| Oh, I hate that guy. | ||
| I love that guy. | ||
| They don't really think much. | ||
| And then we take it so seriously, good and bad. | ||
| But most people just throw a thing out there not really being informed and they don't really care. | ||
| It's not that big a deal. | ||
| Yeah, it's just talk. | ||
| Louis C.K. told me this once. | ||
| He goes, it's just talk. | ||
| He goes, but when it's written down, it seems like it's more than just talk. | ||
| But it's kind of the same way people have always talked. | ||
| Yeah, that's true. | ||
| But if you see it written down or if you see someone saying it in a video, like, what did he say about me? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's just talk. | ||
| People talk shit. | ||
| Yeah, Louis was another one. | ||
| I even said this to him. | ||
| When he was getting so much love, I was like, oh, fucking Louis. | ||
| And then we had him on the pod. | ||
| He was great. | ||
| He's obviously so smart. | ||
| But I remember even I told him that. | ||
| He was like... | ||
| A lot of the praise was overdone, and I'm sure some comics didn't like me. | ||
| I was like, I was one of them. | ||
| He was like, I don't blame you. | ||
| And I was like, what a cool, honest moment we had where I didn't have to pretend. | ||
| I think that's one of the best things about the podcasting, is talking to people and being like, oh, I had a preconceived notion of you, and you're very different than what I thought. | ||
| Yeah, we get informed the more people we talk to. | ||
| The more people we talk to and the more conversations we have, we get more informed as a human being. | ||
| I think one of the things that limits people is the access they have to other interesting people. | ||
| And I think that's also one of the things that is really exciting to people about podcasts, why they like it so much. | ||
| Because now they can listen to interesting people talk. | ||
| They can listen to cool people talk. | ||
| They kind of get in on these conversations and they see a real conversation where it's not planned out. | ||
| You don't know what you're going to talk about. | ||
| You're just talking. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| How much prep do you do typically for interviews? | ||
| Because sometimes I'll prep for days and it's just like endless. | ||
| And then sometimes I'm like, I think I'm okay. | ||
| It completely depends on the subject matter. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's been people that I've had to read books on astrophysics and string theory and try to understand what the fuck they're talking about or AI. It depends. | ||
| Some people have read their entire book and I knew they were coming on months in advance so I prepared for it. | ||
| And then other people, I'm just like, I can't wait to talk to that guy. | ||
| You know, like, that Mexican OT, zero prep. | ||
| What's up? | ||
| I love your music. | ||
| You know, it was easy. | ||
| I wanted to just get to know him in the moment. | ||
| I don't want to, like... | ||
| I heard when you were a child. | ||
| Like, no, I wanted to come out, like, organically. | ||
| I want to have a real conversation with him. | ||
| Well, you know, I'm sure you've heard this. | ||
| Larry King, like, just did no prep for any interview ever. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, there's a clip of him and Seinfeld talking. | ||
| It's so funny, where he clearly doesn't know who Seinfeld is. | ||
| This is at the height of Seinfeld's fame. | ||
| And Seinfeld is like, yeah, my show is going off the... | ||
| You've never watched an episode? | ||
| It's kind of a big deal. | ||
| And Larry's like, no, I didn't know. | ||
| And Andrew Schultz will always be like, that's just his excuse to be lazy. | ||
| But I truly think he's like, maybe. | ||
| But he was also like, I know the best, most organic conversations if I learn all about this guy right here. | ||
| And my skill set will allow for the best interview to happen that way. | ||
| Well, the worst conversations are conversations that are canned, right? | ||
| Where when someone's talking to you, they don't really care. | ||
| But they're pretending they care and asking you these things because they have like bullet points that they want to hit. | ||
| Those seem canned. | ||
| They seem bullshit. | ||
| You're probably better off doing it the Larry King way with some stuff, but Larry King didn't interview theoretical physicists. | ||
| I need to know something about what you're talking about to be able to have my own questions. | ||
| Because there's some things that are so nuanced and they're so complicated that you should have some understanding of them before you talk about it. | ||
| But then, other times, it's like, oh, guy's a comic. | ||
| You know, like, let's talk. | ||
| That'd be easy. | ||
| I love comics. | ||
| Let's talk some shit. | ||
| How do you write? | ||
| What do you do? | ||
| How do you do it? | ||
| Where'd you start? | ||
| I want to know. | ||
| And having genuine curiosity, that's a major key. | ||
| It's like, actually be curious. | ||
| And some people aren't really curious. | ||
| They really just want to wait for their turn to talk. | ||
| They can't wait. | ||
| When's it going to be my turn to talk? | ||
| But you ruin your own show that way. | ||
| Even by being selfish, you're actually going against yourself. | ||
| You're not realizing it at the time, but you're actually poisoning your own show by being selfish. | ||
| Yeah, the best thing that I've learned in life is try to actually listen. | ||
| Especially, and the more nervous you are, like, even this pod, I come on, I'm like, just try to listen and respond to what he's saying in the moment, and just stay in your own body and do that. | ||
| With everything, man. | ||
| With other people, too. | ||
| Like, when I'm, you know, hanging out with someone, Just a regular person. | ||
| I'm so much better at talking to people now than I was before I did a podcast. | ||
| Because I'm so much better at not talking over someone, waiting for them to talk, trying to get the most out of what they're trying to say. | ||
| Instead of just listening and then just me talking, trying to figure out how did you come to that conclusion? | ||
| Did you always think that way? | ||
| What did you learn? | ||
| How did you learn this stuff? | ||
| What inspired you to start doing that? | ||
| It's like that. | ||
| That's interesting to me. | ||
| So now when I have conversations with people that suck at having conversations, I can't wait. | ||
| I got trapped at my fucking club by a buddy of mine brought one of his buddies from high school. | ||
| And his buddy from high school was drunk and he's rich. | ||
| And he kept wanting to tell me about this business that he started. | ||
| It was, you know, blah, blah, blah, and this and that, and I turned it into a $100 million business, and this and that. | ||
| I'm just telling you, just so you know who I am. | ||
| So, like, oh my god, he was so bad at talking. | ||
| It was just the clunkiest, shittiest, braggiest. | ||
| And then I eventually go, I gotta go. | ||
| I wasn't even talking. | ||
| I was like, you're just talking at me. | ||
| Like, I don't care about any of these things. | ||
| He just needed to impress you that badly. | ||
| Yeah, he needed to let me know that he was successful. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And I mean, within seconds of meeting him, he's telling me all this stuff. | ||
| It's exhausting. | ||
| So I used to get really irritated at that stuff. | ||
| And then I think what Schultz said to me one time, because this kid at a diner started interrupting our conversation and telling us about his education and how smart he was. | ||
| And then I was so annoyed when we left. | ||
| And Andrew was like, yeah, but you got to feel good about yourself that that guy, for whatever reason, felt insecure around you and felt he needed to impress you that much. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Well, it's when someone knows someone from something, right? | ||
| If they know you and you don't know them, they need to let you know they're a big deal. | ||
| Yeah, and it's just insecurity, and it's like, I used to take it as malicious, and now I'm like, oh, that guy, I'm not great at it, but I try to remind myself, oh, that guy is meeting probably, he's probably listened to you thousands of hours in his head, and he wants so badly for you to like him, and he just doesn't know how to do that, and he doesn't know, hey, if I just have a real conversation with Joe, he'll walk away being like, that's a nice guy. | ||
| And then he just overcompensates with, let me impress him because I did all these things and show him what I've done. | ||
| And there's like, oh, okay. | ||
| Well, I feel bad for that guy a little bit. | ||
| I'm not great at it by any stretch, but that's what I try to remember. | ||
| You definitely should feel bad for him because it sucks to be that guy. | ||
| It has to do that. | ||
| And it doesn't feel good. | ||
| That never works. | ||
| No one ever walks away going, that guy's amazing. | ||
| You walk out of there, ugh. | ||
| It feels like that guy just jizzed all over me. | ||
| It's really what it's like. | ||
| Did you know that guy's worth $100 million? | ||
| You know what else doesn't work that people still do? | ||
| Is name dropping. | ||
| Does that shit work at all? | ||
| No, no, no, that's a rough one. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Who does that work on? | |
| That's a rough one. | ||
| We were partying with Leo, and you're like, what? | ||
| What are we doing? | ||
| What? | ||
| Yeah, please, please don't, dude. | ||
| Please, please don't do that to me. | ||
| I couldn't care less. | ||
| I couldn't care less. | ||
| Does it work on anybody? | ||
| It might be one of the least effective strategies for getting people to think you're cool. | ||
| Name dropping? | ||
| No, yeah. | ||
| I think it works on people who don't know anyone. | ||
| And they're like, oh, this guy knows so-and-so. | ||
| But even after about the third name, you're like, oh, he doesn't know anybody. | ||
| The more names you name, the less those people like you. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| People turn on you, too. | ||
| If you're that guy that name drops like on podcasts or a name, people are like, eww. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Eww. | ||
| If you're the guy who talks over everybody, eww. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I used to do it way more. | ||
| Like early podcast. | ||
| I just wasn't good at it. | ||
| So you have a thought in your head. | ||
| You just want to get it out. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Even if you're not even being selfish, it's like you're just looking for a chance to... | ||
| And then it took me time to just look at the big picture of it and go, this is not smart. | ||
| And then that's when I started using pads, too. | ||
| This is big, too. | ||
| Because sometimes I have a thing. | ||
| I'm like, oh, my God, I'm going to forget this while this guy's on this ramp. | ||
| So I just look over here, scribble, and write it down. | ||
| And if I do that, I'm good. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's a skill. | ||
| It's a skill like any other skill. | ||
| You learn how to negotiate a conversation and get the most out of the person. | ||
| I want that person to shine. | ||
| I want them to have the most interesting thing that they could say. | ||
| I want to help them say it. | ||
| I think about that because I don't feel nearly as confident in podcasting as I do in stand-up and then I just remember, oh, stand-up is something I've been doing 17 years now or whatever. | ||
| Podcasting I've been doing 5, 6, whatever. | ||
| Like, it's gonna take a while. | ||
| Also, you guys have a unique setup when there's a lot of folks there. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, there's four of you. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then there's a guest. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| When you got five people talking and no one knows when they can chime in and when they should chime in, it's hard. | ||
| Yeah, being a team player is big. | ||
| I could try to get my thought out now, but if I'm just going to be talking with everybody, is that going to add to the best podcast or do I just fall back and wait? | ||
| Headphones. | ||
| Headphones are a huge key because then you don't talk over each other. | ||
| Overtalk is terrible to listen to. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, like Ari, when he comes on the podcast, we do Protect Our Parks. | ||
| As soon as he gets drunk, takes the headphones off, starts talking over everybody. | ||
| Like, Ari! | ||
| You can't have two separate conversations. | ||
| This is a podcast. | ||
| Millions of people are going to hear this. | ||
| Oh, I need to give Ari his flowers, too. | ||
| Jew is... | ||
| Amazing. | ||
| It was one of the big... | ||
| I looked at that and I was like, oh, this guy didn't shop this at a streamer. | ||
| He just put it online and it looks better than pretty much anything I've seen on Netflix. | ||
| It was cool because of all the candles and shit. | ||
| Yeah, a gorgeous special. | ||
| I told him this. | ||
| I was like, this is... | ||
| Once I saw that, I was like, oh, this is the bar now. | ||
| That's what's... | ||
| It's set there. | ||
| Well, it was also for me, it was very important to see because Ari had been telling me these things for decades and had never figured out a way to do it on stage and decided to do it all in one special. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because he was telling me all this stuff about his upbringing because he had a crazy upbringing, man. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like super religious, went to Israel, stayed in a kibbutz or whatever the fuck it was and read the Talmud all day. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| He was all in. | ||
| And then he's like, this is bullshit. | ||
| What am I doing? | ||
| And then he becomes a comic, which is wild. | ||
| And when I met him, it was like, I guess it was the 90s, and he was like, maybe one year did Ari start working at the store. | ||
| It might have, I think I was on, that might have been Fear Factor days, I don't remember. | ||
| But it was like, he was a young, young guy who was just starting to do stand-up, and then the more I got to know him, I'm like, what did you do? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Wow! | ||
| I'm like, why don't you talk about that on stage? | ||
| He just didn't have the chops. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And so it took a decade plus, two decades, before he developed the chops to be a real solid state. | ||
| And I'm glad he did. | ||
| Because then he became a great comic. | ||
| And then he realized how to do that material as a comic. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Which was perfect. | ||
| Yeah, I think that's one thing. | ||
| I used to try to push myself to do this material that was personal. | ||
| Like, I hope I can make my dad's story into a bit or something to end a special with or whatever. | ||
| But now I realize I don't need to push. | ||
| I wasn't good enough to do that back then. | ||
| And now as I'm getting better, I think I can dig deeper, be more honest, be more personal, tell more personal things or whatever, and then I'm ready now, I feel like. | ||
| Yeah, you can figure out a way to make it good. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Yeah, it's a tricky job, man. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's a tricky fucking slippery job. | ||
| Especially like somewhat potentially painful things that you're trying to make funny. | ||
| I remember I would see some comics come up and be just so awkward, say all these horrible things they went through, and they'd be like... | ||
| I don't care if y'all laugh, this is therapy for me. | ||
| And I know you're just saying that because you're nervous, because you're not doing well, but you gotta understand how fundamentally wrong, this is not therapy. | ||
| We're not here to help you through this. | ||
| Go to therapy, make it funny, and then come bring it to us. | ||
| I remember there was some dispute at Just for Laughs, and some comic yelled at some other comic that if you're not using your comedy to promote social justice, you can go fuck yourself. | ||
| Oh, Jesus Christ, dude. | ||
| That is hilarious. | ||
| That's a person that can't possibly be good. | ||
| There's no way you're good. | ||
| You must be terrible on stage. | ||
| Your comedy must be awful. | ||
| I think you also, that's probably a young comic, probably, because I know I had these ideas of what funny was. | ||
| And I remember watching, I think it was called Talking Funny or Funny People or whatever, with Ricky Gervais, Chris Rock, Louis C.K., and Jerry Seinfeld. | ||
| And then there's a moment where Ricky, who's the youngest comic in the room, is talking about these jokes and, like, I don't want to do those jokes because those jokes are easy. | ||
| I want to impress guys like you. | ||
| And then Jerry goes, you know what would impress me? | ||
| Leave that joke in. | ||
| Don't take that joke out. | ||
| Leave that stupid joke in. | ||
| I'm impressed. | ||
| Just kill. | ||
| I like stupid jokes. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Like, Attell. | ||
| Attell's brilliant and silly at the same time. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Amazing. | |
| These aren't like super complicated jokes where you're like, oh my god, this guy's changing the world. | ||
| Thousand percent. | ||
| Amazing. | ||
| Thousand percent. | ||
| I just want to laugh. | ||
| Just make us laugh. | ||
| That's your job. | ||
| Just make us laugh. | ||
| And then if you can make us laugh on your terms the way you want to, God bless. | ||
| That's a better level, sure. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| But is shooing laughs just because I don't want to... | ||
| No. | ||
| Fuck that. | ||
| Get the laughs. | ||
| You're only doing that because you can't get laughs. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| Anybody who's trying to educate these people, bro, you're 28 years old. | ||
| You live in a duplex. | ||
| Shut the fuck up. | ||
| Shut the fuck up. | ||
| You're not going to fix the world. | ||
| I know you think you're going to. | ||
| But also, that was a thing that Hicks brought to comedy that was a real problem in the 90s. | ||
| Yeah, I hated Hicks for a long time because of this. | ||
| I still won't listen to Hicks just because the ripple effect of Bill Hicks is like, buddy, you created a monster. | ||
| He did create a monster. | ||
| There were so many fucking people that wanted to be Hicks. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It was so much so that the Punchline in Atlanta used to have a green room, and on the back of the green room, people would write on the wall, and it said, quit trying to be Hicks. | ||
| Oh, thank God. | ||
| Bad message. | ||
| And when they tore that down, Jamie, the owner, kept saying he was going to get me that fucking, because they took the wood down. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'm like, get me that. | ||
| Yeah, just the plank that says, don't be Hicks. | ||
| Just quit trying to be Hicks. | ||
| Let me put that up here. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because I remember that. | ||
| Like, ah, there's so many guys. | ||
| So many guys who wanted to be that guy. | ||
| You know, because he just left you feeling like, even Richard Jenny, who's like one of the all-time greats. | ||
| I remember Richard Jenny saw Hicks, and he was like, ah, I watched him. | ||
| I was like, I got to do more stuff like that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But you don't. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You really don't. | ||
| I actually remember though, God, who's the comic? | ||
| His name is escaping me. | ||
| He's a clean comic. | ||
| He's massive, super funny. | ||
| Brian Regan. | ||
| He was saying, he was on somebody else's podcast and that guy was saying about Brian Regan, I remember Hicks was really dying to go see you at X, Y, and Z. So Hicks loves Brian Regan. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So you don't need to be Hicks. | ||
| Just be funny and Hicks will be looking down and being like, that guy's funny. | ||
| Well, Hicks really was that guy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like Hicks was talking about stuff in the 90s before the internet, right? | ||
| So he's talking about all these really esoteric subjects and interesting things because he was just reading a lot. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So it was like real, he really understood what he was talking about. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's actually that guy. | ||
| If you're not that guy, don't be that guy. | ||
| It's just be who you are. | ||
| But people like that, like, you know, occasionally someone will come along and they influence everybody. | ||
| You know, Kinison for sure did that. | ||
| They come along and they're so mind-blowing. | ||
| You're like, Jesus Christ. | ||
| You know, Joey Diaz influenced everybody around him. | ||
| Because everybody, like, he was so quick with his punchlines. | ||
| The setup punchline was so fast, rapid fire. | ||
| He got to it so quick. | ||
| Like, God damn, I've got to pick up my speed. | ||
| I've got to pick up my game. | ||
| Is that what you picked up from him? | ||
| I learned a lot from Joey, for sure. | ||
| I learned a lot from also having to follow him because I would bring Joey on the road with him because I couldn't follow him. | ||
| So I was like, this is the best way to figure out how to follow this guy. | ||
| Bring him with me everywhere. | ||
| He was fucking killing. | ||
| He was killing. | ||
| And also, I wanted to laugh. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, and when you're around Joey, it's just a party. | ||
| He's unbelievable. | ||
| He's awesome. | ||
| He's the best. | ||
| Yeah, we had him on the pod once and I was like, this guy is awesome. | ||
| He was just here for 420 weekend. | ||
| It was fucking glorious. | ||
| It was amazing. | ||
| He's on fire. | ||
| Because he comes to the club and he gets so much love that he's so free and loose. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| The moments when he went on stage, it was incredible. | ||
| Because the audience didn't know he was there unless they had paid attention to the Instagram. | ||
| So Friday night, they definitely didn't know he was there. | ||
| When I do those Joe Rogan and Friends shows, I don't let anybody know. | ||
| So Schultz will bop in. | ||
| Shane Gillis shows up. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Gaffigan shows up. | ||
| No one knows who's gonna be there. | ||
| And they go up there and everybody's like, this is crazy! | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| You know, that's what's fun about it. | ||
| And so when Joey goes up, they didn't know who it was gonna be. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And then Joey Diaz, everybody went, yeah! | |
| Is he thinking about moving here or no? | ||
| Yeah, we're working on him. | ||
| That's great. | ||
| We're working on him. | ||
| That's great. | ||
| We'll get him eventually. | ||
| He's gonna love it. | ||
| He's just too happy here. | ||
| And the problem with New Jersey is, it's like there's too much road bullshit, hacky fucking comedy there. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| I mean, there's good comics in New Jersey for sure. | ||
| There's great comics. | ||
| Boss lives in Jersey. | ||
| Bonnie McFarlane lives in Jersey. | ||
| There's great comics in New Jersey, no doubt about it. | ||
| But there's also a lot of scrubs and a lot of like just real – just dumb comedy. | ||
| Just dumb. | ||
| I was at the mothership yesterday and I'm watching this open mic and just seeing all the comics. | ||
| First of all, I remembered I don't miss open mics at all. | ||
| I just remembered that pain of sitting there waiting. | ||
| It's horrible. | ||
| But I was thinking, I was like, yo, Joe fucking did it, man. | ||
| He made this... | ||
| I was thinking, if I'm a young comic... | ||
| Austin wasn't even a place I was thinking of in 2007 or 8 or whatever when I started. | ||
| Now, LA is not even a place I'm thinking of. | ||
| It's either Austin or New York. | ||
| And Austin is easier to survive. | ||
| It's better weather. | ||
| It's nicer people. | ||
| I think I would come to Austin. | ||
| It's also a more supportive environment because the environment, especially at our club, is specifically designed to foster talent. | ||
| It's designed that way. | ||
| There's two nights of open mic nights. | ||
| It's designed. | ||
| Kill Tony's there. | ||
| It's designed for that. | ||
| Right, right, right. | ||
| So from the ground up, you have a chance to go. | ||
| You have a chance as a person who's just getting on stage the first time ever to go up in the best club in the world. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And you have a chance to go and work the same stage that Joey Diaz goes up in, that Dave Chappelle went up in. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You get to go into that, the little boy, that room is amazing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That is a tight little room, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah. | |
| And you could get that itch. | ||
| Little boy felt like the belly room. | ||
| It's like the belly room and the OR had a baby. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And the fat man is like the main room and the OR had a baby. | ||
| Okay, I see that. | ||
| Yeah, that's what it is. | ||
| It's a perfect place. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, I was hyped. | ||
| I've always said Comedy Orcs is the best club in the country in Denver. | ||
| Still love it. | ||
| I just got back from there this weekend. | ||
| Amazing. | ||
| I am excited to kill Tony, and then I'm excited to see... | ||
| This is my first time in Austin since you built the club, so I'm excited to see the whole thing. | ||
| It's a wild place. | ||
| How many days are you in town? | ||
| How many days? | ||
| You want me to be in town. | ||
| Do you know what I mean? | ||
| You decide. | ||
| Come by tomorrow. | ||
| Do a set tomorrow night. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| Absolutely. | ||
| Done. | ||
| Done. | ||
| I got a show tomorrow at 7 o'clock. | ||
| But we got, I mean, we have big name headliners are coming in every weekend, which is great. | ||
| So the local guys get to see the people that are there. | ||
| And all the door staff, they're all comics. | ||
| They audition with their act. | ||
| So it's like a development process. | ||
| Like the store was, but more organized. | ||
| Not as chaotic. | ||
| And run by a comedian. | ||
| And run by a comedian that doesn't have business partners. | ||
| I don't have anybody else. | ||
| And you don't rely on that for income. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Exactly. | |
| It's a mitzvah. | ||
| It had to have happened the way it happened. | ||
| There had to be this crazy moment in history where the whole country gets shut down except Texas. | ||
| And so we move here and all of a sudden I'm doing shows with Chappelle, we're doing these outdoor shows, everybody's getting tested. | ||
| And then we started doing indoor shows. | ||
| And then we started doing indoor shows. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm like, I gotta open up a club. | |
| We need a hangout. | ||
| We had the Vulcan, which is a great place. | ||
| Vulcan's a great club. | ||
| Vulcan's awesome. | ||
| I did the Vulcan right after you came on Flagrant the next day. | ||
| That was the last time I was in Austin. | ||
| It's a great club. | ||
| Vulcan's great. | ||
| It's a great club to kill in, too. | ||
| But I was like, this isn't ours. | ||
| They have techno music there, EDM some nights. | ||
| We need to set something up. | ||
| And I had... | ||
| That's Spotify money. | ||
| And I'm like, listen, if anybody's gonna do it, it's gotta be me. | ||
| And if there's a time to do it, it's now. | ||
| Because people were willing to move so that they could go on stage. | ||
| Because LA shut everything down for so long that so many comics are like, you guys are doing shows? | ||
| And then guys like Derek and Hassan, they came out there early. | ||
| Brian Simpson, he came out there early. | ||
| Derek Poston is so goddamn funny. | ||
| He's getting so good, dude. | ||
| He's getting so good. | ||
| I saw him before Mothership, because I saw him host Andrew's show. | ||
| He's a good host. | ||
| He's a good host. | ||
| And I was like, oh, I'll bring him on the road. | ||
| And then I thought, you know, one thing I try to do to pay forward how Schultz helped me is that once I get to know you and I think I know how you're funny, I'm like, hey, well, let's watch your set if you want, and I'll see if I can give you some advice. | ||
| I'm not the end-all be-all, but I'll try to help you how I can. | ||
| So I had Derek feature one show, and then I watched the set, and I was like, buddy, I barely got, I got some tags for you. | ||
| But I don't see, like, structurally, oh, you could do this, you could do X, Y, Z. You're so fucking funny. | ||
| Unbelievable. | ||
| Well, the level of the guys coming up is very high. | ||
| And there's also, in Austin, there's so many places to perform. | ||
| Just on the block where the mothership is. | ||
| So you have the Mothership right down the street. | ||
| You have the Sunset Strip Club. | ||
| You have Brian Redband's Club. | ||
| Right over there you have the Creek in the Cave. | ||
| Right over there you have the Vulcan. | ||
| You have the Velveeta Room. | ||
| There's someplace called the Green Room. | ||
| Then you have Cap City. | ||
| You have a bunch of different clubs on the east side. | ||
| There's like hipster clubs and lesbian shows. | ||
| And there's like fucking comedies everywhere. | ||
| Dude, you have made this a comedy hub. | ||
| It's a marvelous thing. | ||
| Like an insane thing that you've done. | ||
| It's pretty wild. | ||
| It's insane. | ||
| To move LA over to Austin is crazy. | ||
| But make it better. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Make it better. | ||
| Truly. | ||
| And make it completely disconnected from all those people that'll poison your act with their fucking Hollywood bullshit. | ||
| And actually, I said LA. To be honest, I meant New York. | ||
| This is what I heard New York was. | ||
| When I went to New York, it wasn't friendly, but you'd have to pay to go to most open mics. | ||
| $5. | ||
| And the free open mics, this is when the alt scene was kind of running things. | ||
| So if you talked about anything that wasn't like a video game or anime, they would judge the fuck out of it and be brutal. | ||
| There was no support built in. | ||
| So you've taken the best parts of New York and brought it to Austin. | ||
| And again, a city that's much cheaper and much less harsh. | ||
| Being poor in New York is rough. | ||
| Being poor in Austin, it's not that bad. | ||
| It's not bad. | ||
| You can get around. | ||
| Traffic's not bad at all. | ||
| It's very light. | ||
| It's very easy. | ||
| And the people are cool. | ||
| And the traffic, the clubs is all, like you said, all this little radius. | ||
| LA, if I want to hit three spots, I'm driving three, four hours. | ||
| Well, you can go to the improv. | ||
| You can go to the Laugh Factory. | ||
| It's not that. | ||
| If you're doing the store, improv. | ||
| If you're in at all three, but when I started in LA, open mics, you're driving all over the place. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| It's all spread out. | ||
| Yeah, if you're doing open mics, you're fucked. | ||
| There's not a lot of open mics in LA. I mean, there's a good amount, but not in comparison to the amount of comics. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's a lot of comics and a lot of wannabe comics. | ||
| And there's also, in LA, you have those people that really want to be actors. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| And they think that, like... | ||
| This is their platform. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Anyway, brother, great to have you on. | ||
| Thank you so much. | ||
| Tell everybody about your special, whether they can get your second special. | ||
| Second special is Gaslit. | ||
| It's on YouTube right now. | ||
| I'm very proud of it. | ||
| I think hopefully this is my next evolution as a comic and just making the things I truly believe funny instead of just doing contrarians. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, look at this opening. | |
| Yeah, dude. | ||
| This is dope. | ||
| I try to do it big. | ||
| Oh, look at this man. | ||
| So this is traditional Indian dance called Bharat Natyam. | ||
| It's a South Indian dance. | ||
| And then it's to that Mexican OT. Oh, that's amazing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
So, yeah. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So, check it out on YouTube. | ||
| Please support. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Check it out. | |
| Thank you guys so much. | ||
| Thank you, Joe. | ||
| My pleasure, brother. | ||
| Tell everybody your social media. | ||
| Oh, it's Akash Singh, A-K-A-A-S-H. Akash Singh Comedy on TikTok. | ||
| Everything else is pretty much Akash Singh. | ||
| Oh, and YouTube is Akash Singh Comedy. | ||
| All right. | ||
| Thank you so much, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
My pleasure. | |
| See you tomorrow night. | ||
| All right. |
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