June 14, 2023 - The Joe Rogan Experience
03:18:07
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Joe Rogan podcast, check it out! | |
| The Joe Rogan Experience Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day! | ||
| What's happening? | ||
| How you doing? | ||
| I'm doing great You are a perfect example of how sometimes the universe throws you a little curveball and it turns out to work out better for you We were talking about it before, right before the show, and I wanted to congratulate you on the success of your special. | ||
|
unidentified
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Thank you. | |
| Because you were in this position where HBO had decided not to air it because you had opinions. | ||
| And they said, well, we don't agree with your opinions, so you can't have opinions that are different than ours. | ||
| You didn't even say anything. | ||
| I didn't think it was your feelings on things, which I feel like you're allowed to have. | ||
| And boom. | ||
| You put it on YouTube and boom. | ||
| How many views does it have now? | ||
| First one, 8.8 million. | ||
| Million. | ||
| 8.8 million. | ||
| You know what the odds of you getting 8.8 million on HBO are? | ||
| Zero. | ||
| It's zero. | ||
| It's zero. | ||
| They don't have anything to get. | ||
| Unless you're on the fucking Game of Thrones premiere. | ||
| I was ready to do math in my head and everything. | ||
| I was thinking it was like zero. | ||
| Don't even think about it. | ||
| Zero. | ||
| It's never... | ||
| I mean, maybe you gotta go back to like Sam Kennison. | ||
| Maybe his got eight million. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, not that many people watch those shows, but YouTube is beautiful. | ||
| I mean, they fuck you on a lot of different things. | ||
| They'll pull you for discussing legitimate medical studies. | ||
| This guy got pulled. | ||
| Did you see that thing? | ||
| I tweeted it. | ||
| He got pulled off of YouTube. | ||
| They killed his whole channel for reading Lancet studies on psychiatric drugs. | ||
| Bro, it's crazy. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| They did a study on him. | ||
| Well, it was on children and psych medications. | ||
| It was on children and I believe it was SSRIs, you know, which is antidepressants. | ||
| Are they prescribing those to children now? | ||
| They've been prescribing them for children. | ||
| They've been doing it for a long time, but they do not like when people discuss the negative side effects on YouTube. | ||
| I would assume... | ||
| Advertising pressure. | ||
| That's the only thing that makes sense to me. | ||
| You can discuss getting the belt or getting whipped, but you can't discuss the negative side effects of a drug. | ||
| Isn't that wild? | ||
| Yeah, you could openly discuss being abused as a child. | ||
| Being beaten. | ||
| Yeah, so this gentleman, what's his name? | ||
| Roger McFillin, Dr. Roger McFillin. | ||
| He was... | ||
| So this is what he said. | ||
| Our YouTube channel was terminated in less than 24 hours. | ||
| No warnings, explanations, or strikes after we posted a video highlighting published science, black box warnings, and known adverse reactions of antidepressants for youth. | ||
| Why do you think this was censored? | ||
| And then what's weird is that YouTube responded underneath it. | ||
|
unidentified
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They responded, hey, here to help. | |
| Let me know your YouTube channel URL. We'll see what we can find. | ||
| Here's how to find it. | ||
| Like, no, they killed his whole channel. | ||
| He said, you terminated my, I don't know, like, saying you, it's probably a person, right? | ||
| So it's probably not that person. | ||
| It says, you terminated my YouTube channel for posting published scientific literature. | ||
| It's for reasons like this that YouTube is losing the public trust. | ||
| Man, it's that dance of advertising, you know? | ||
| That's the dance. | ||
| The dance of advertising and government control. | ||
| It's kind of spooky. | ||
| It's kind of spooky shit. | ||
| Well, I've been living in a neighborhood that's been government controlled for a long time. | ||
| Not really spooky to us. | ||
| We like, oh, regular government nonsense. | ||
| Not good. | ||
| Yeah, this is the reason why we don't trust anything. | ||
| Brown people, black people, we just don't... | ||
| As soon as you say it, as soon as you're not trusting it. | ||
| Well, it's for good reason. | ||
| It's not like everything's going great and nobody trusts the government. | ||
| But a lot of people are pro-government. | ||
| Government everything. | ||
| Well, I think they just sold a narrative. | ||
| I think they get sold a narrative and they think anti-government is bad so that they're pro-government. | ||
| I've had some maddening discussions with intelligent people that I respect where they're saying the government should regulate the internet. | ||
| I'm like, what the fuck are you talking about? | ||
| The same people that are engaging in insider trading? | ||
| They should regulate the internet? | ||
| Are you out of your fucking mind? | ||
| You know how crazy that is? | ||
| Who said that? | ||
| The guy used to be the publisher of Rolling Stone magazine, man. | ||
| In the 60s and the 70s when Rolling Stone was the counterculture. | ||
| He was telling me that they should regulate the internet. | ||
| We had the most maddening conversation and I respect him so much and I love him so much for what he did in the past. | ||
| I think that was connected to, you know, the internet kind of destroying magazine sales. | ||
| It could be. | ||
| But it's also... | ||
| I think it's an ideology, man. | ||
| I think it's an ideology. | ||
| I think these people have in their head that good government with good people is good. | ||
| And the problem is bad government and bad people. | ||
| But we've never had... | ||
| I mean, what was the fucking last time? | ||
| Where you were 100% satisfied with all the things the government was doing. | ||
| They were doing everything they said they were going to do. | ||
| Even if the president wants things done when they're running for office, those things never happen once they get in office. | ||
| That's a very white question. | ||
| There's no way you're asking me that. | ||
| Like, were we ever satisfied? | ||
| Like, never. | ||
| Never. | ||
| Well, maybe Kennedy. | ||
| You know, Kennedy gave people hope. | ||
| It seemed like he was giving people hope. | ||
| But, I mean, that was before my time. | ||
| That was before your time. | ||
| He was killed four years before I was born. | ||
| Did you like Carter? | ||
| Well, the thing about Carter is, if you listen to Carter talk, and this goes back to Rolling Stone magazine, because Hunter S. Thompson went to Jimmy Carter's campaign speech, and it was so moving to him that he actually went out to his car and got his tape recorder and brought it back in and started listening and recording it. | ||
| And I think, I don't think any president I mean, there's a reason why the government is set up the way it's set up. | ||
| It's set up so the president can never become a tyrant. | ||
| So the president can't make his own laws. | ||
| This is how the government is divided. | ||
| This is the concept behind the beginning of the country. | ||
| The beginning of the country. | ||
| I think even if you're a good person, you're in a bad job. | ||
| You're in a bad job with a bad machine and that machine wants to make money and if it's making money by selling people drugs or it's making money by going to war, it's making money by fucking finagling the economy in some bizarre way. | ||
| Anytime there's something to gain on the other end without public knowledge, it's gonna be a problem. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| That's the game. | ||
| The sleight of hand trick. | ||
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That's the game. | |
| That's the game they're in. | ||
| I mean, it's to pretend they don't do that. | ||
| I felt like some things shouldn't be on the internet, though. | ||
| So I'm like, damn, is nobody regulating this shit? | ||
|
unidentified
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Like what? | |
| Like a lot of things that people just... | ||
| Like, I don't know what a lot of people have followers for. | ||
| Because they so far to the craziness. | ||
| It's insane. | ||
| You're like, what? | ||
| That's true. | ||
| That's true, but what's the alternative? | ||
| The alternative is... | ||
| Here's the best thing about those crazy people. | ||
| You and I can talk about those crazy people. | ||
| Look at these crazy bitches. | ||
| And then people can listen to us talk about them, and they go, yeah, these people are crazy. | ||
| I kind of thought the world was flat for a few minutes. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| Like, there's some people on the internet. | ||
| I'm like, say, man. | ||
| God, damn, what are you talking about? | ||
| But it's, you know, then there's other people that have some sense. | ||
| But so... | ||
| You gotta be able to figure it out yourself. | ||
| The problem is most people don't think, and rightly so, don't think that most people can figure it out by themselves. | ||
| There's a large percentage of our population that's easily swayed. | ||
| That's why cults work. | ||
| Oh, man. | ||
| You know, and I always wonder, like, when people say they selling dope, I'm like, for real? | ||
| It's passe. | ||
| Like, with a cult, I'd be thinking, why would I join a cult when it's never been proven to be a good thing? | ||
| Like, show me all the good, successful cults. | ||
| It's just like, man, all I gotta do is see one bad cult, and I'm like, you know what I'm saying? | ||
| I don't want to go. | ||
| Well, if you want to expand that... | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| Religion. | ||
| Religion is successful cults. | ||
| Listen, if there is... | ||
| Let's just imagine, just for the sake of this conversation, that there is a religious scripture that is 100% translated directly from God. | ||
| Well, if that's true... | ||
| If there's one, that means all the other ones are wrong, and all the other ones are cults. | ||
| See, the thing is this. | ||
| People don't know where things tie in together. | ||
| Now, you have some side stories, some people who just created some side things for their own benefit. | ||
| Like the Mormons. | ||
| It's like a longevity of, hey, this is all the same line of things. | ||
| And it transcends to the next generation. | ||
| But then it's these things that The prophecy stopped at some point, and then it's like people can claim themselves to be prophets with none of the other attachments. | ||
| Like all the other prophets got the same thing. | ||
| Some spoke to them at night, and they have some power at that particular time. | ||
| It's like these people... | ||
| Can you just say, hey, I'm a prophet. | ||
| Well, who spoke to you? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It was a voice coming through the wall. | ||
| Maybe you live in thin apartments. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| What is your power? | ||
| Who are the people that you're supposed to have? | ||
| And it's no power. | ||
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All you had to do is be charismatic. | |
| But that's not, that's not the, in prophecy, that's not the, the, that's not the criteria. | ||
| It's like, hey, I'm looking for somebody who can't, like what God's doing. | ||
| It's all, that's not the job. | ||
| Right, that's not the job. | ||
| But in, with this society, it's the job. | ||
| But don't you think it's always been like that? | ||
| No, I think they didn't even want to do it. | ||
| Noah didn't want to build no art. | ||
| He was doing something else. | ||
| See, the thing about Noah and the art, though, if you go back to that, that story is very similar to a story that's in the Epic of Gilgamesh. | ||
| And most likely what that story is about, the Great Flood seems to very much be real. | ||
| Very much be real. | ||
| And there's a lot of physical evidence. | ||
| And there's a gentleman named Randall Carlson who's been on my podcast. | ||
| Have you ever seen any of those episodes? | ||
| No. | ||
| It's been on my podcast many times. | ||
| He's an expert in asteroid collisions. | ||
| And this time in history where after this time there's all these stories of floods, it aligns directly with this thing called the Younger Dryas and the Younger Dryas impact theory. | ||
| The Younger Dryas is a time period around 11,800 years ago where they think the Earth got hit by comets. | ||
| And they think civilization got basically wiped out. | ||
| And it makes sense. | ||
| Because first of all, it makes sense physically. | ||
| So sorry if people have heard this before. | ||
| I beat this fucking horse to death. | ||
| But there's a lot of evidence when they do core samples on the Earth. | ||
| At that time period, there's a high level of iridium, which is very rare on Earth, but very common in space. | ||
| And there's also nanodiamonds, which occur when there's an impact, when something hits. | ||
| And this is all over the world. | ||
| I 100% believe in this. | ||
| But every time I hear nano diamonds, What do you think when you're a nanodimons? | ||
| It's like you're selling jewelry in the middle of the mall. | ||
| These aren't diamonds. | ||
| These are nanodimons. | ||
| These are nanodimons. | ||
| They're different. | ||
| But I believe that the earth has been hit by comics. | ||
| We're in the space. | ||
| How can you not? | ||
| There's evidence. | ||
| There's tons of evidence. | ||
| There's tons of evidence. | ||
| They found, was it Greenland or Iceland, that massive impact that they found? | ||
| The Earth's been hit so many times, man. | ||
| It wasn't just the Yucatan one that killed the dinosaurs. | ||
| It's been many, many, many, many, many, many, many times it's been hit. | ||
| And in fact, this comet shower that we go through every year, 31 kilometer, 19 mile wide meteorite crater discovered under a kilometer of Greenland ice had long puzzled scientists. | ||
| The Hawatha crater was exceptionally well preserved despite glacier ice being incredibly effective at erosion. | ||
| That's interesting. | ||
| Damn, that's big. | ||
| 19 miles, is that what it said? | ||
| Yeah, there's a ton of those, man. | ||
| They're all over the world. | ||
| There's a big one that's outside of Australia that they found. | ||
| Giant craters where it just, it totally makes sense. | ||
| It totally makes sense. | ||
| So this guy, along with this guy named Graham Hancock, who's also been on the podcast many times, a good friend of mine, he has a documentary called Ancient Catastrophe. | ||
| Is that it? | ||
| Apocalypse, right? | ||
| Ancient apocalypse. | ||
| I always fuck those up. | ||
| Ancient apocalypse that's on Netflix. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| And it's all talking about these insane structures that people built in Africa, in Asia, all over the world, in Turkey. | ||
| These insane structures that predate modern civilization. | ||
| These are like 5,000 years before we think Mesopotamia emerged. | ||
| Huge stone columns, huge structures that they know for sure were 11,000 years old. | ||
| The show's amazing. | ||
| It's an amazing show. | ||
| I think I watched this. | ||
| It's really good. | ||
| And it's, you know, he only goes, he only touches the surface because there's so many of these all over the world and Egypt is the best example. | ||
| Egypt is a fantastic example because there's stuff that's under the sand that's even older than the massive stuff that's above the sand and the stuff under the sand that they find when they dig deeper, it's a totally different style of building. | ||
| This is what the ex-Clan used to rap about. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And Poor Righteous Teachers, that whole brand newbie. | ||
| This is the pyramids and building of the stones and Egypt, the whole Egyptian culture, Timbuktu, the whole thing. | ||
| Been around for a long time. | ||
| That's the wild shit. | ||
| The wild shit is that if it wasn't for those stones, If everybody lived like we live today, in glass houses and shit, there'd be nothing left. | ||
| There'd be nothing. | ||
| What would you find like a regular house made out of wooden glass? | ||
| What the fuck is going to be there in 10,000 years? | ||
| Zero. | ||
| Zero. | ||
| There'd be nothing left. | ||
| You'd find nails. | ||
| Oh, look, I found a nail. | ||
| What would you find? | ||
| You'd find a few things. | ||
| But most of it would be consumed by the earth. | ||
| Yeah, most of it. | ||
| But those guys, they figured out something that no one... | ||
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They bullshit that they could figure out how to do that today. | |
| They don't know how to do that today. | ||
| Somebody just came up with the whole this building with wood. | ||
| But it was probably stone. | ||
| Like in Haiti, they build with stone. | ||
| Jamaica, they still build with stone. | ||
| The whole house made out of cement. | ||
| Most places do that. | ||
| They have hurricanes. | ||
| Their houses have to be sturdy as fuck. | ||
| So I don't know what was going on in Egypt at that time when they was building like that. | ||
| I think they were beyond advanced. | ||
| I think we are... | ||
| Graham Hancock has this amazing quote. | ||
| He said that human beings are a species with amnesia. | ||
| Oh yes, for sure. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| Oh, for sure. | ||
| And I think the way we've gone today technologically with like phones and microphones and video cameras and shit, like we've gone into an electronic technology. | ||
| I think they went into another technology that was different, a different path. | ||
| But way more powerful. | ||
| They were able to move stones out of the mountains and move them 500 miles. | ||
| They don't have any fucking idea how they did it. | ||
| The necessity, you know, we're figuring out things from necessity. | ||
| That, but I think thousands of years of thinking. | ||
| I think, you know, when we think about the Industrial Revolution and we think about the way the world was just 2,000 years ago to now, I think those people were recovering. | ||
| I think those people 2,000 years ago were recovering from shit that happened thousands of years before that, where people were just knocked back into barbarism. | ||
| Just survival of the fittest. | ||
| Just wild shit. | ||
| Because there was nothing left. | ||
| We live in a Mad Max apocalypse. | ||
| Even worse. | ||
| Nuclear winter. | ||
| When those things hit into the ground, the massive floods come, it also kicks up dust in the atmosphere. | ||
| Nothing grows. | ||
| People are probably cannibalizing each other. | ||
| It was probably horrific. | ||
| You ever read the book, The Ice Age and Inheritance? | ||
| No. | ||
| This is where it talks about people, how they went into the Ice Age and then they had to start cannibalizing each other because there was nothing growing and all of these other things. | ||
| Like, wow. | ||
| Do you think we survive that now? | ||
| I think you and me might survive. | ||
| I know a lot of people aren't going to get eaten. | ||
| Some people can fucking keep it together and some people can't, you know? | ||
| It's gonna be hard and it's not gonna be fun and life might not be worth living in comparison. | ||
| Yeah, in comparison. | ||
| So that's the thing, like, if you lived on the Great Plains in the 1800s and you were a Native American, that was your whole life, that's all you knew. | ||
| You knew how to hunt buffalo, you knew how to make teepees, you knew how to live off the land, that's all you knew. | ||
| If you took some fucking person from the east side of Manhattan, some person that worked some cushy office job, And he said, Jerome, this is your new life. | ||
| You're gonna live on the plains. | ||
| And you're gonna make your own arrows. | ||
| And you're gonna go fucking run around and try to shoot him into Buffalo. | ||
| And there's no doctors. | ||
| So is this what Naked and Afraid is about? | ||
| Are they getting ready for the apocalypse? | ||
| No, they're just exploiting dummies. | ||
| They're just having fun with people's dicks. | ||
| Blurring them out of TV. It's crazy. | ||
| That show's crazy. | ||
| That show's crazy. | ||
| It's so dumb. | ||
| Niggas in the phrase XL, they got like 13 people out. | ||
| You gotta meet up and form a tribe. | ||
| Yeah, they could do something like that. | ||
| People would go evil real quick. | ||
| If there was competing tribes, people would go evil real quick. | ||
| I think it's gonna... | ||
| If it jumps... | ||
| No. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Well, during Katrina, it was survival of the fittest. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| During this flood in Houston, it was survival of the fittest. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| It's been some times where people have shown their colors. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| In small pockets. | ||
| Yeah, like my friend, he used to brag about having this Maserati, and when the flood happened, his Maserati was floating down the street, and I was in my truck. | ||
| I was like, hey, you want me to come pick you and your Maserati up? | ||
| Because you're in a bad position, my boy. | ||
| In Texas, you need a truck. | ||
| You know, and it was survival. | ||
| He couldn't move nowhere, so he needed help. | ||
| Yeah, when the freeze came out here, I was having that time of my life. | ||
| I loved it. | ||
| With snow everywhere and ice on the streets, because I have a 1995 Toyota Land Cruiser that I had built like an apocalypse vehicle. | ||
| It's lifted. | ||
| It's got off-road tires. | ||
| It's got steel bumpers. | ||
| It's got a winch. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, so yeah, you was having a good time. | ||
| Big-ass gas tank. | ||
| Huge gas tank. | ||
| You was having a good time. | ||
| I was having a great time. | ||
| Because that car's meant for that. | ||
| It was like my golden retriever when he sees the snow. | ||
| When he sees the snow, he's like, woo! | ||
| He rolls around on his back. | ||
| It's like he's having a party. | ||
| It's the best thing he's ever seen. | ||
| That's what it's like when my truck saw that snow. | ||
| My truck was like, yee-haw! | ||
| Everybody else is, like, in Corvettes. | ||
| They're sliding into oncoming traffic. | ||
| Yeah, that's what happens when you have one of them little low-built cars or sports cars, and you don't have an off-road vehicle, something that's sturdy that can move things. | ||
| Like, I have a truck, and my truck is built for that. | ||
| If you're only going to have one vehicle in Texas, a truck is the way to go. | ||
| Oh yeah. | ||
| It really is. | ||
| Just in case. | ||
| Just in case. | ||
| It's the sign of the most pampered society that people have cars that you can't even fit luggage in and they're just fast. | ||
| You have a race car, sir. | ||
| Why are you driving around town in a fucking race car? | ||
| Where are you going? | ||
| Hey man, nothing like getting out of a truck in a tuxedo. | ||
| Yeah, right? | ||
| With boots on. | ||
| That's what I see the guys. | ||
| I'm like, man, that's crazy. | ||
| But man, a truck is the way to go. | ||
| People don't want to think about things going sideways, but they have all throughout history. | ||
| All throughout history, there's been natural disasters. | ||
| There's been wars. | ||
| There's been crazy shit all throughout history. | ||
| So why don't people want to think about that? | ||
| Because we like to think about what's in front of us right now. | ||
| The human mind is set up essentially for survival, right? | ||
| And we have the exact same brains as people that lived 10,000 years ago. | ||
| So the people that lived 10,000 years ago, if they in fact were hunter and gatherers, and they probably were hunter and gatherers because the people before them were far more advanced and they were rebooting society. | ||
| That's what I think. | ||
| But those people, that life that they lived was all about get some fucking food, find out what the dangers are around you right now in terms of your enemies and predators, and get some fucking food and feed your family and try to stay alive. | ||
| That's all anybody wanted. | ||
| They just wanted to stay alive. | ||
| So we have that in our head. | ||
| And shit like climate change and UFOs, it's like, what am I gonna do with that? | ||
| Shit like, what if the power goes off? | ||
| Yeah, but the power's on now. | ||
| Shut the fuck up. | ||
| I gotta deal with now. | ||
| I gotta deal with right now. | ||
| We're designed for the now. | ||
| I don't think like that. | ||
| I think long-term. | ||
| Your guys experienced some very difficult moments in your life. | ||
| That's what it is. | ||
| You've experienced a lot of adversity. | ||
| I guess that's the reason, but I'm always thinking long-term. | ||
| I always got a, you know, like I'm Jason Bourne, like I'm on the move. | ||
| I got my passport and cash. | ||
| I can't live for the now. | ||
| I used to be like that. | ||
| And that was too fast. | ||
| Way too fast. | ||
| Well that's a young man's game. | ||
| Young man's game is the now. | ||
| You know, talk to a 19-year-old kid, they're not thinking about fucking climate change. | ||
| I wish somebody would've told me in 19, hey, listen, climate change. | ||
| Yeah, maybe my tomatoes will be able to survive. | ||
| I think, you know, with having a healthy love for the elderly, because I would, you know, prefer to be one one day, you know, I would like to set things up for those people that's doing it now for when I get there. | ||
| I don't want to wait and then get there and then be struggling. | ||
| Well, I'm 65 and I don't understand what's going on, because comics, most comics don't have a retirement plan. | ||
| Most comics don't even have a monthly plan. | ||
| Comics are the wildest fucking people I know. | ||
| They're the wildest people I know. | ||
| They spend all their money. | ||
| And it was crazy. | ||
| That's very true. | ||
| That is very true. | ||
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Very true. | |
| You know, I can't even think of all the comics because I'm a planner. | ||
| How many comics have come to me? | ||
| Because they know I'm a planner and they just went out and just some wild shit. | ||
| Like, I'm just, hey man, I'm living in L.A. now. | ||
| What? | ||
| I just saw you Tuesday. | ||
| Yeah, I know. | ||
| And like, where you living at? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I'm just out here. | ||
| What the hell are you talking about? | ||
| And then a month later, hey man, I'm calling you from somebody else's phone. | ||
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You think you can send me $300 so I can get a ticket to come home? | |
| Or how am I going to get it to you? | ||
| Hey man, you're going to have to wire it to this and that. | ||
| Some comics think that if they go to a spot, things will be different. | ||
| You know? | ||
| My wife and I lived in Colorado once for a little while, and we lived in like a log house on the top of a mountain. | ||
| And my wife had this idea that when she got in that log house, she'd start making bread. | ||
| Joe, you wild, man. | ||
| You just moved to a log. | ||
| Yeah, I did. | ||
| The only thing that fucked me over was she got pregnant, and when women are pregnant at very high altitude, this is at 8,800 feet. | ||
| It's very high. | ||
| It's real rough on them. | ||
| Real bad. | ||
| It's like the flu every day. | ||
| And we went back to L.A. And when we went back to L.A. for like a week or two, she was fine. | ||
| And then we went back to Colorado, kick right back in. | ||
| I was like, oh no. | ||
| And then I read that Colorado, specifically Denver, has a very high rate of, unusually high rate of premature births. | ||
| They attribute to the high altitude. | ||
| It's rough. | ||
| It's rough on women. | ||
| So we had to get out of there. | ||
| If it wasn't for me, it was just me by myself, I'd still be up there. | ||
| I would have never started a podcast. | ||
| I'd still be up there living in the woods. | ||
| I loved it. | ||
| I loved it. | ||
| I loved that Land Cruiser. | ||
| I'd just be like sitting there chilling. | ||
| That's the life that I'm going towards. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I love it. | |
| Just being able to farm and grow my own vegetables. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Go outside and have my own eggs and goats and things of that nature. | ||
| Yeah, that's very satisfying. | ||
| There's something very satisfying. | ||
| Just even about the idea of that, that's very satisfying. | ||
| Not having to be some... | ||
| I think that's the... | ||
| I'm going to slow down in 2025. I have a plan. | ||
| Knock out Domino Effect 3 and 4. And then kind of relax for a while. | ||
| Because I don't think people know this about comics. | ||
| You've probably experienced it. | ||
| My body is on some type of clock where I have to be somewhere even when I don't, which is troublesome to me. | ||
| I've gotten up And packed all my things up and didn't realize that I was already where I'm supposed to be. | ||
| Because my body is like, my mind basically is, you're supposed to be somewhere. | ||
| So it takes me, if I go on vacation, it has to be for like two weeks because the first week, It's crazy. | ||
| Like, my mind is set on this clock of, you got a performance, you got to be somewhere, you got this to do, you got it. | ||
| And I don't like that feeling. | ||
| I got out of that. | ||
| It took me a long time to get out of that. | ||
| But I got out of that where I can enjoy a vacation. | ||
| I can just chill. | ||
| I got out of that where I could just sit in my backyard sometimes. | ||
| Just sit down. | ||
| Have a cocktail. | ||
| Just relax. | ||
| That's what I want to do. | ||
| Just be able to just sit and have nothing to do. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think there's a real pleasure in that, if you earn that, and you definitely have earned that. | ||
| There's real pleasure in that, but people like you and people like me that are constantly on the road and constantly working on this and working on that, it's like you're on this momentum, and it's hard to hit the brakes going downhill. | ||
| Jesus fucking Christ, like Flintstone brakes. | ||
| You know, it's hard. | ||
| It's hard to slow down. | ||
| And you got to get to a place where you feel like, or have a plan to get to a place where, okay, this is it for a while. | ||
| And then detox for that month. | ||
| A month of not doing shows is horrible. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| It's horrible. | ||
| You get addicted to it, right? | ||
| It took me a while to get it. | ||
| It took me about two months to really get into the pandemic. | ||
| But once I got into it, I didn't want to come out of it. | ||
| I was like, man, I'm cool, man. | ||
| I can be with my family every day. | ||
| I'm growing. | ||
| My vegetables are looking good. | ||
| I'm having a good time. | ||
| I don't have to be anywhere. | ||
| I can just go to the front and pick on my camera, hey, what's happening, and talk for a minute and then be done. | ||
| Wow, it was beautiful. | ||
| It was beautiful. | ||
| So why'd you go back? | ||
| The addiction of being a performer. | ||
| Killing. | ||
| Addicted to, you know, having to finish the story. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, Domino Effect, you know, was in my mind and Domino Effect 2 was in my mind. | ||
| So I was like, man, I got to get back to... | ||
| I think they were tired of me. | ||
| They were like, hey, he's been here too long. | ||
| Maybe I was feeling cool, and they were like, nah, he need to go work somewhere. | ||
| He's doing everything. | ||
| He's painting and building. | ||
| I was building something every week. | ||
| It was great. | ||
| Well, that's why it always drives me crazy when people say they get bored. | ||
| Like, how are you bored? | ||
| I get bored. | ||
| There's so much to do. | ||
| You just gotta find the thing. | ||
| And if it's not... | ||
| If you don't have anything to do, just go experience something. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Go check something out. | ||
| Get moving. | ||
| Don't stay home. | ||
| Don't just stay put. | ||
| That's why you're bored. | ||
| There's nothing coming at you. | ||
| Go somewhere. | ||
| Stay put. | ||
| I haven't heard that in a long time. | ||
| My grandmother, she would say that because back then you couldn't go into, couldn't take children to liquor stores. | ||
| And my grandmother would get out the car, she'd leave us in the car, hey, hey, stay put. | ||
| My grandmother told me, be right here when she get back or she gonna beat our ass. | ||
| I was like, like what? | ||
| Like how did that even come into the conversation? | ||
| But we was right then when she got back. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| We stood put. | ||
| Stay put. | ||
| Yeah, staying around and being bored. | ||
| I mean, of course that's what's going to happen. | ||
| People wonder why they're depressed. | ||
| I mean, there's a lot of reasons why people are depressed, but some people are depressed just because they're not doing anything. | ||
| Oh, man. | ||
| You're just fucking filled with anxiety and just nothing. | ||
| You're just, like, alone, just trying to think of something to do. | ||
| Bored out of your fucking mind. | ||
| Which is crazy. | ||
| How you can't think of nothing to do when it's all outside? | ||
| I can walk outside because I'm from that era where we used to play outside. | ||
| So if I go outside, I'm going to find something to do. | ||
| If I find another person, we're going to find something to do. | ||
| If we find another person, oh no, this is a football game. | ||
| All we need is three people in a ball, and we're throwing this ball up in there. | ||
| It's a hot ball. | ||
| We're going to do something. | ||
| Something's happening. | ||
| Do you remember children's playgrounds, how fucking dangerous they were? | ||
| With those metal contraptions, those houses you would climb inside of? | ||
| You thought that was dangerous? | ||
| Do they have those today? | ||
| I think they... | ||
| But they made out of rope now, and it's really dangerous. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| It's some little corded rope. | ||
| You tear your hand up like... | ||
| I prefer the balls. | ||
| I grew up with the balls. | ||
| You could swing from them. | ||
| That was my thing, the balls. | ||
| Even the spinning. | ||
| Oh man, I think I know people who dislocated their shoulder on the spinning thing. | ||
| Some big grown kid would come and spin all the kids on the thing. | ||
| And if you didn't hold on and they'd keep spinning and then you'd just let go with your head, you can't hold it no more. | ||
| Those are the days of concussions, good concussions. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, you learned. | ||
| You definitely learned what hurts. | ||
| Definitely learned what hurts. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, you never let the big kids spin your head ever again. | ||
| Those little big kids are mean. | ||
| It was crazy. | ||
| You six. | ||
| Hey, man, you know you're 13, right? | ||
| Like, why are you even over here? | ||
| Especially boys. | ||
| Teenage boys are the most fucking dangerous animals on the planet. | ||
| Man, do you understand? | ||
| I lived in some apartments where these guys, they were old, they was high teens, and when you went to go check the mail, because the mailbox was by the pool, they would try to throw you in the pool. | ||
| And you're going to take the mail and your mother will tell you, hey, don't bring my damn mail back here wet. | ||
| And you would have to sneak to the mailbox and open the mailbox so quietly. | ||
| Get the mail, and you hope that nobody see you, because if anybody saw you, they're going to say, hey, here's the mailbox! | ||
| And now you got to run. | ||
| Now you got to run, because they're going to throw you. | ||
| I remember one time I got thrown in, and I tried to hold the mail up. | ||
| I hate the performance, man. | ||
| I hate them. | ||
| Teenage kids. | ||
| They're fucking dangerous. | ||
| Because they have man strength, and they just got it. | ||
| They just got it. | ||
| It's like lottery winners. | ||
| They're like lottery winners. | ||
| They just start spending all their money. | ||
| You know, lottery winners, they go broke quick because they're like, they never had this before and all of a sudden they have it. | ||
| When you're 13 and all of a sudden you kind of have a man body and you're 14 and you're strong as shit and little kids, you could just yell at them and tell them what to do and make them do shit and smack them around. | ||
| The problem is this. | ||
| When you do that, and then one of the kids that you hurt have uncles that's close to your age. | ||
| You're 14, 15, and his uncle is 19, and he don't care nothing about that. | ||
| Yo, hey man, you heard my little cousin? | ||
| And then... | ||
| And he got a little more skill. | ||
| He got a little more attack to his newfound male strength. | ||
| Yeah, they know how to use it. | ||
| A 19-year-old is very different. | ||
| You get 19 and 20 and, you know, those are men. | ||
| I was, you know, I was different. | ||
| I was a pretty good fighter at 19. I started fighting maybe around 10. You get some good ones. | ||
| I remember when I knew the difference between being 13 and being 19, when my cousin got into a fight with these guys, and this guy was thick. | ||
| All this was like really, he was a man. | ||
| And he pushed me just in the stomach. | ||
| He just pushed me. | ||
| He wasn't even trying to fight me. | ||
| He was, everybody get back! | ||
| And he pushed me and knocked all the air out of me. | ||
| I was like, man, what is happening? | ||
| And I slowly started going to the ground like... | ||
| If he would have actually punched me, like if he was trying to, he would have wiped me out. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because body shots are something different. | ||
| That's a different shot. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| People think that a body shot don't look as pretty as a shot to the head, but it's just as devastating, if not worse. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Like that Ryan Garcia one, where Javante Davis caught him with that left hook to the body. | ||
| People were saying that he quit. | ||
| No. | ||
| He'd never been hitting the liver. | ||
| Oscar De La Hoya quit the same way with Bernard Hopkins. | ||
| The same thing. | ||
| Same body shot. | ||
| Same body shot. | ||
| And he tried to take a step out that corner and not the front of his foot even moved. | ||
| He just went down. | ||
| He was like, man, this is it. | ||
| And if you get kicked to the body. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| A kick to the body is so goddamn devastating, especially a spinning back kick. | ||
| You could literally pick someone up in the air. | ||
| It's like they got hit by a car. | ||
| Any kick. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Want to see me when I was 19? | ||
| Show that video of me knocking that dude out when I was 19. This is from a Taekwondo tournament. | ||
| I hit this kid with a spinning back kick to the body. | ||
| So you can see how hard. | ||
| Man, I'm 150 pounds, 155 pounds. | ||
| 155 pounds spinning around, coming at you full forward, that's not... | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| I'm saying even though I was light, like fairly light in comparison, the amount of power that you can generate with your legs and what your ribs are... | ||
| Me and my daughter were doing this little art project and we're drawing zombie, this zombie thing. | ||
| We're making this painting together. | ||
| And while we're doing this, we took a photo from the internet of an actual ribcage so we could do it right and draw it correctly. | ||
| And I'm looking at it and I'm like, look at this fucking weird protection of all your squishy organs that are underneath there. | ||
| I mean, when you really think about it, these little skinny-ass bones are the only thing that's protecting your soft lungs and your liver. | ||
| Like, this is me in the blue. | ||
| This was me when I was 19. That dude was done. | ||
| You get kicked in the body like that? | ||
| You just... | ||
| There's no volume on this. | ||
| But you get kicked in the body like that, it's the worst feeling in the world. | ||
| Everything shuts down. | ||
| You can't move. | ||
| You can't move. | ||
| Everything just goes... | ||
| It's just electrocution goes through your body. | ||
| Electric power. | ||
| Just the thump. | ||
| Just the compression of your organs. | ||
| Just your whole body going into shock. | ||
| Your whole spinal column getting jolted. | ||
| Your legs don't work anymore. | ||
| That's the problem. | ||
| Your legs don't work. | ||
| They just stop working. | ||
| Just nothing. | ||
| You could tell them whatever the fuck you want. | ||
| They're not listening. | ||
| You're trying to send shockwaves from your brain to your legs, and then your legs are like, man, if you don't get the fuck out of here, I'm going down. | ||
| The most shocking to me was when I would get hit on the chin. | ||
| Because one time I got dropped, I got hit on the chin with a left hook, and my legs just went like this. | ||
| They just shut off. | ||
| Like, it wasn't like I got hurt. | ||
| Like, oh my god, I'm hurt. | ||
| I'm going down. | ||
| They just went shut off. | ||
| The legs just shut off. | ||
| And I was like, Jesus Christ, what the fuck was that? | ||
| They just stopped working. | ||
| It's like my whole system got short-circuited. | ||
| They just go, boink! | ||
| What a stupid design. | ||
| Just the jaw. | ||
| The jaw is really the turning of the... | ||
| Sometimes not, though, because sometimes a straight shot just on the tip of the jaw knocks people out. | ||
| It's the whole compression of the head going back. | ||
| I think there's something else going on, too, specifically with the jaw. | ||
| Because you could spin someone's head around in other ways, like on the cheek, and it doesn't seem to have the same effect the jaw does. | ||
| I think nerves behind the jaw. | ||
| Let me tell you. | ||
| Whatever's going on in the jaw, I had a crown put in. | ||
| The guy went too deep when he... | ||
| We did a root canal? | ||
| No, when he tried to numb me up to put it in. | ||
| So he damaged a nerve that's in the lining of the jaw. | ||
| And it took like two months for that shit to heal. | ||
| Really? | ||
| And it was excruciating. | ||
| Like, it was excruciating. | ||
| Nerves are rough. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Nerves take a long time. | ||
| It was excruciating. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It was like, and then I had to still perform. | ||
| And I was doing meet and greets. | ||
| And I was having the smiles. | ||
| And this crown here, oh my goodness. | ||
| So did it make your face paralyzed? | ||
| It was, I was down my, I had to get all type of massages. | ||
| The line of my jaw, they had to adjust it like maybe four times. | ||
| Because it was terrible. | ||
| It was terrible. | ||
| It was terrible. | ||
| A lot of people get that, what is that called? | ||
| What's that disease when half your face goes? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Bell's palsy. | |
| Bell's palsy. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| I know a couple guys with that. | ||
| Half your face just starts working. | ||
| I know a couple guys with that bell's palsy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You don't realize how lucky you are to be healthy until you're not. | ||
| You gotta take advantage of your health. | ||
| God, it's the most important thing and that's another thing. | ||
| People, they put all this effort into life and they don't put effort into that. | ||
| Into health, which is crazy. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| And then don't Don't even try to look at the things that can make you more healthy. | ||
| The amount of research that people do, they'd rather scroll on their phone than just look up something that can be helpful to them personally. | ||
| Which is weird. | ||
| It's the same thing. | ||
| I think people don't think about the future that much. | ||
| I mean, they do a little bit, kind of abstract. | ||
| I hate that whole, you gotta die from something. | ||
| Well, you ain't gotta die fucking miserable. | ||
| You ain't gotta die... | ||
| There's a lot of stuff that you don't have to die of. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's... | ||
| Do you know there's more people dying today because they eat too much than starving to death for the first time in history? | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, Texas is the fastest state. | ||
| Good food. | ||
| Terry Black's Barbecue. | ||
| What's up? | ||
| Food here is fantastic. | ||
| You know, people die from eating too much. | ||
| What's up, Terrence Blackburn? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I definitely eat too much when I'm there. | |
| We recreationally eat. | ||
| Yes, we do. | ||
| We go just, oh man, let me go see what this is about. | ||
| In Texas, we are the king's In Queens of, let me just go check something out. | ||
| And go in there like, oh man, they got a new donut place. | ||
| Let's go see what they talking about. | ||
| Like, why? | ||
| Because we have the currency, we have the Got a nice surplus. | ||
| Oh, man. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's hard to go on the road once you... | ||
| Texas is my home. | ||
| It's where I grew up, Houston especially. | ||
| We have great food. | ||
| So then you go on the road, other places, and they're like, I'm going to take you to the best barbecue place. | ||
| I'm going to take you to the best... | ||
| And then you get there, you're like... | ||
| You're spoiled. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You're spoiled. | |
| Damn. | ||
| There's some places that have good barbecue. | ||
| Apparently Kansas City has good barbecue. | ||
| Oh, no, not really. | ||
| No? | ||
| It's a different thing, right? | ||
| Not like here. | ||
| No. | ||
| Do you know where it came from? | ||
| L.A. has the worst Mexican food of all times to me. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yes, the worst. | ||
| Do you like Tex-Mex or regular Mexican? | ||
| Well, regular Mexican, because I lived in a Mexican neighborhood in Houston, and they had the best food. | ||
| So I'm like, I don't know, them must be different. | ||
| Them Aztecas, I don't know. | ||
| They're different Mexicans. | ||
| There's some spots in California. | ||
| You just got to go to the spots where the Mexicans go. | ||
| That's what, like, when I'm in L.A., It's some food. | ||
| I'm like, this is y'all best? | ||
| I used to go to this place in the valley called the Big Burrito. | ||
| They got like Mexican soap operas playing. | ||
| Nobody speaks English. | ||
| They have like lengua, quesadillas. | ||
| See, that's everywhere in Houston. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| So it's like that's the spot. | ||
| The real shit. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| That's where I'ma go. | ||
| I learned how to make tamales. | ||
| I learned how to make tamales in this store called Fiesta from this Mexican lady who did not speak English. | ||
| And she had a granddaughter translating what she wanted me to write down. | ||
| And that's how I learned. | ||
| I got the pots. | ||
| I grind them. | ||
| I say the whole nine. | ||
| So it's hard for me to go places and say that I was in St. Louis. | ||
| Kansas City, they're talking about, oh, they got the best soul food, seafood place. | ||
| I was like, okay, cool, I'ma go. | ||
| I was, we eating, it was like this, hey man, look, when you don't season your batter, see that's a normal thing everywhere in Houston. | ||
| It's too many fish places that I can go to eat. | ||
| And then when Maryland, we got the best blue crab. | ||
| Man, I live on the Gulf. | ||
| You don't think we have blue crab here? | ||
| We got a lot of food here. | ||
| A lot of food. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| A lot. | ||
| It's a lot. | ||
| It's a good place to eat. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's some good spots in the country. | ||
| There's some great food places in the country. | ||
| I'm picky. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You got a specific kind of food you like to eat? | ||
| I eat. | ||
| That's the problem. | ||
| I eat everything, all cultures, if your food is good. | ||
| I live in a place that happens to have all cultures and they have great food. | ||
| If I want any type of African food, I can just go on Vincentette in Houston. | ||
| I can start at any end of business and I'm going to find good average. | ||
| We have five Chinatowns in Houston. | ||
| Really? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| There's five Chinatowns? | ||
| Five Chinatowns. | ||
| Isn't Houston the third biggest city in the country? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| That's a big country. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's a big city for this country. | |
| Man, it's a place. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's a place that has all food. | ||
| I got Cuban food. | ||
| I got... | ||
| Well, Houston was the best comedy scene in the world at one point in time, in the 80s. | ||
| I still think that Houston is the greatest comedy scene. | ||
| We put out a lot of great comics. | ||
| We don't have the clubs anymore, though. | ||
| That's the thing. | ||
| Yeah, that's the thing. | ||
| Improv is there, Secret Group is there. | ||
| They used to have the Laugh Stop. | ||
| They used to have the Laugh Stop, the Laugh Spot. | ||
| The Laugh Spot went under, too? | ||
| Yeah, both. | ||
| Do you remember Spellbinders? | ||
| I heard about it. | ||
| I never went there. | ||
| Yeah, we had Spellbinders and then Improv bought out what the Spellbinders is. | ||
| So it's the Improv and the Seeker group. | ||
| And then I think they got a new comedy club called Rise. | ||
| Then Comedy Lounge on the north side. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Well, the improv's a great club. | ||
| That's a great club. | ||
| That was the first club I did coming back. | ||
| I did that in July. | ||
| I did one weekend. | ||
| And then I got real high and I got paranoid that I was going to give people COVID, like my guests, because I'm so selfish and I want to do the road. | ||
| Even though I was getting tested every day, I was like, what if it slips? | ||
| What if I got to put false negative? | ||
| So I stopped. | ||
| But I had a great time there. | ||
| Speaking of great clubs, I stopped in last night at the mothership. | ||
| That's pretty wild, right? | ||
| Pretty nice. | ||
| That's a nice comic club. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Very comic friendly. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, the comic built it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And I built it specifically just for us. | ||
| I didn't build it like a business. | ||
| It's like if I was my accountant, I'd go crazy because the whole idea was I just want to break even. | ||
| I just want to build it and make it the most friendly place ever for comedians. | ||
| So the comedians make plenty of money. | ||
| Everybody's happy. | ||
| The place is packed. | ||
| It's a beautiful room. | ||
| That's a beautiful curtain. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| The way the lights. | ||
| Yeah, it's dope. | ||
| Then the name, Fat Man and Little Boy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know what that's from? | ||
| Yeah, the bombs. | ||
| But you know why? | ||
| No, I don't know why you did it. | ||
| Because that's when the UFO started coming. | ||
| That's when UFO started coming? | ||
| Yeah, it's part of UFO folklore. | ||
| That's why when you walk in the middle of the lobbies, that giant UFO, that's what that's for. | ||
| That UFO is a replica of that, and that is a replica of the craft that Bob Lazar... | ||
| A guy was a propulsions expert who was a whistleblower who worked at Area S-4 in Area 51 in the Nevada desert, back-engineering alien spacecrafts, supposedly. | ||
| But this is what he described, and that's what we put in there. | ||
| The whole club, the whole idea of the comedy mothership, the whole idea is the club's themed on UFOs. | ||
| That's the whole idea behind it. | ||
| That's why there's that crazy gateway over the stage. | ||
| It looks like a starport. | ||
| I like that. | ||
| When they detonated the bombs in Hiroshima and Nagasaki, that's when UFOs start coming. | ||
| And all the UFO activity ramped up substantially. | ||
| Why do you think that is? | ||
| Because I think they realized we have nukes. | ||
| Like, these crazy motherfuckers. | ||
| They just wipe out whole cities with nukes. | ||
| These fucking assholes. | ||
| They had to come down and go, whoa, whoa, whoa. | ||
| What are you doing, man? | ||
| What the fuck are you doing? | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's why you think they came like a nuclear weapon. | |
| What the fuck is going on? | ||
| Who gave them nuclear weapons? | ||
| Well, I think they realized we reached a level of technological sophistication that we could kind of kill everybody on Earth. | ||
| Oh, you think one of them went rogue and taught us? | ||
| I don't think one of them went rogue and taught us because there's a very, like if you go and look at the Manhattan Project and you go and look at the history of splitting the atom, there's a very clear academic paper trail of how they figured this out and all the trials that they did and what they did when they detonated the Trinity bomb, which by the way was one of the first times they ever discovered those nanodiamonds. | ||
| It's called, I think they called Trinitite. | ||
| And it's like nuclear glass, they call it as well. | ||
| And it's what happens when a massive impact hits sand. | ||
| And it turns it into this kind of glass. | ||
| I think that... | ||
| Because when it come with all the visits... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What were they visiting to do? | ||
| Because I know, you know, they all say like we caught one or something like that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, if you did, did you try to torture him and get stuff out of him? | ||
| What would be the thing? | ||
| But what were the visits if they weren't teaching something? | ||
| Because I believe in it. | ||
| I just don't know what they were visiting to do. | ||
| Well, the way I describe it is there's a great show on Netflix called Chimp Empire, and Chimp Empire is all about these scientists that are embedded in this chimp tribe, and they've been there for 30 years. | ||
| Because these scientists have been there for 30 years, the chimpanzees behave like there's no people there. | ||
| They can get within 20 feet of these chimpanzees. | ||
| Chimpanzee, as long as they don't eat in front of them, and as long as they never present any sort of danger, raise their voices, and as long as they just stay back, the chimps don't pay attention to them at all. | ||
| They just go throughout their life. | ||
| And so these scientists are observing these chimpanzees, and then these cinematographers captured all of this. | ||
| I think the way we treat chimpanzees is probably... | ||
| And they let them kill each other. | ||
| They do wild shit to each other, these chimps. | ||
| They engage in territorial warfare. | ||
| They fight over access to fruit. | ||
| I think the aliens would treat us the same way. | ||
| I think they would observe us, but not do anything. | ||
| And I think if we did something fucking dangerous, like nuclear bombs, then they would go, whoa, okay. | ||
| Because I think if alien societies do exist... | ||
| An intelligent life is out there in the universe. | ||
| I think what happens is they keep getting more and more and more and more sophisticated. | ||
| And in the beginning, they engage in tribal warfare. | ||
| And as they become more and more sophisticated, their technology becomes far too dangerous to keep doing that same shit. | ||
| And that's when they observe them. | ||
| Because it's this perilous tipping point. | ||
| Where we could completely wipe out life on Earth or we can evolve and get to the next stage of existence where we could coexist harmoniously throughout the universe and join some fucking global, you know, some rather universal group of beings. | ||
| It's possible, but the only way that's possible is if we don't nuke ourselves. | ||
| So, with the chimpanzees, the scientists are there, they're observing them. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And they see them, they don't pay attention. | ||
| See, the problem with us, that we're scared. | ||
| If we see an alien, I'm not gonna not pay attention. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Of course. | |
| I'm gonna, ah! | ||
| Who the fuck? | ||
| Yeah, of course. | ||
| It's like men in black. | ||
| They gotta look normal. | ||
| I believe that it's definitely other life forms. | ||
| It's definitely other civilizations that's happening that we're just not ready for. | ||
| I don't think we're ready. | ||
| I don't think we're ready. | ||
| We've got to be groomed. | ||
| Do you think that there's all these UFO sightings and the government talking about UFOs and this whistleblower that came out and said there's a crash retrieval program and we have crashed vehicles and they've recovered alien bodies? | ||
| You believe and I believe, but it's the old man like, hell no. | ||
| I'm not messing with it. | ||
| Because he not ready for the difference. | ||
| It's on hillbilly that just now got used to seeing black people. | ||
|
unidentified
|
For gray people. | |
| He ain't ready for shit else. | ||
| He's like, hey man, what else, man? | ||
| God damn! | ||
| He got like six eyes, man. | ||
| What is this shit? | ||
| He's like, he's not ready. | ||
| He's not ready, man. | ||
| I wonder if that's what they're doing by these sightings. | ||
| I wonder if it's like a trickle effect. | ||
| Give us a little bit. | ||
| Like with the Jetsons. | ||
| We still don't believe in the Jetsons. | ||
| And we, like, nobody... | ||
| So they were already pulling people up on big screens, talking to each other and shit on the Jetsons. | ||
| And my mother was watching the Jetsons. | ||
| Who thought that the Jetsons... | ||
| So when it happened, you just went and got it. | ||
| Ah, it's $800. | ||
| You just got excited about having it. | ||
| Instead of, what the fuck? | ||
| Now you... | ||
| Because it's the Jetsons. | ||
| You in this time frame. | ||
| It has to be a grooming. | ||
| It's like, okay... | ||
| Let's see how they act with E.T. Okay, they seem to love that movie. | ||
| Shit, let's throw Alf out there. | ||
| Let's see if they ready for a furry one. | ||
| Alf? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I forgot about Alf. | |
| Then it's like, hey, maybe the Muppets. | ||
| Maybe the Muppets is a big-ass bird. | ||
| Just rolling around and talking stuff. | ||
| Then we advance up to... | ||
| What was that? | ||
| The Man from Mars and then The Great Gazoo and then now we up to Men in Black and this shit is alright. | ||
| You know, because it's, you know, the man, it's a trickle, it's a I've got to keep feeding it to them. | ||
| And then all of a sudden, you just see somebody just come down the spaceship at McDonald's. | ||
| I'm like, hey, what's up, y'all? | ||
| Y'all good? | ||
| Let me get two Big Macs. | ||
| We love y'all. | ||
| It's Earth food. | ||
| And then you're like, hey, man, you saw that? | ||
| Yeah, I saw that shit last week. | ||
| And then that's it. | ||
| Now you've got to get accustomed to it. | ||
| What year was the Jetson supposed to be? | ||
| I just looked... | ||
|
unidentified
|
It was made in 1962, and it was a hundred years in the future. | |
| A hundred years in the future. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| So, 2062. Wow. | ||
| And here's some of the stuff they had. | ||
| They had flying cars. | ||
| They'll never get us that. | ||
| Hell yeah. | ||
| Robotic dogs. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| People drunk flying. | ||
| Hell no. | ||
| They had robotic vacuums, video calls, tablet computers, robotic house help. | ||
| They had tablets? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| I don't remember that. | ||
| He worked for Spicely Spockets. | ||
| Flying cars, smartwatches, they had smartwatches, drones, holograms, 3D printed food, oh yeah, that's right. | ||
| They had a pill cam. | ||
| You swallow it, it sees your body. | ||
| Oh, look at George. | ||
| He knows that's going up his ass. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Flat screen TVs. | |
| Jetpacks. | ||
| Jetpacks. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's a few other articles that do the same thing, but... | ||
| The jetpacks they have now, you see that one dude that's got wings on his jetpack and they've caught him flying around buildings and shit? | ||
| I don't think they last long. | ||
| I think you can only stay up there for a few minutes. | ||
| But you can fucking fly until you run out of gas. | ||
| This is older. | ||
| This is not it. | ||
| What is this one? | ||
| That was 10 years ago. | ||
| What's the most recent? | ||
| What can they do now? | ||
| I've seen that guy, I think, in... | ||
| It might be Dubai, yeah. | ||
| Jetwing suit? | ||
| I think it's the best one there is right now. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| What the hell is that? | ||
| That is fucking wild. | ||
| The jetwing. | ||
| What type of pajama suit? | ||
| Is there a video of these guys using this? | ||
| I figured it would be on their website. | ||
| We go to their Instagram. | ||
| You definitely gotta have on a fireproof pajama set. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Look at this motherfucker. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Look at him. | ||
| He's flying around buildings. | ||
| That shit crazy. | ||
| What are the odds of those things failing? | ||
| I mean, that's not like a Toyota Corolla. | ||
| Those things aren't reliable. | ||
| That's fucking emerging technology. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You're gonna be risking your life flying over highways? | |
| That's wild. | ||
| Hell no. | ||
| But if that happens in the future, the problem is people are just going to be doing it just like you see people on the highway. | ||
| Riding wheelies, just flying down the highway. | ||
| Just wild shit. | ||
| Wild shit. | ||
| They're going to be doing that in the air. | ||
| Slamming into houses. | ||
| That's why they're not going to give you flying cars. | ||
| I'm really not messing with this car. | ||
| Just get in and just let the car drive for you. | ||
| I'm not trusting it like that. | ||
| Yeah, I don't trust it. | ||
| I have it. | ||
| I don't trust it. | ||
| You have it? | ||
| Yeah, I have a Tesla. | ||
| Then you just get in and just... | ||
| I can. | ||
| And say, hey, take me to... | ||
| Enter in your address that you want to go to. | ||
| Press auto-navigate. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And it take off by itself. | ||
| Stops at red lights. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Woo! | |
| No. | ||
| You're supposed to keep your hand on the wheel, though. | ||
| You're supposed to keep your hand on the wheel? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Just in case. | ||
| Man, I be seeing people, you know, lay back. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Snoozing. | |
| Like, nah, I can't. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Woo! | |
| I can't do it. | ||
| So that's a driverless taxi? | ||
| Yeah, I've seen them around Austin. | ||
| I've seen them, too. | ||
| Do they just drive real slow? | ||
| Man, I'm not checking for it, fam. | ||
| I'm not doing it. | ||
| Yeah, that's the future. | ||
| We're looking at that. | ||
| I think people don't realize that they're trying to get rid of you with this. | ||
| I don't do self-checkout because it doesn't make sense to me. | ||
| Why am I helping them get you out of here? | ||
| And I know I want to talk to a person if something goes wrong. | ||
| I don't do self-checkout. | ||
| Plus, I don't come nowhere to work. | ||
| I just got off work. | ||
| Why would I come in here to work? | ||
| Well, you're from a different generation. | ||
| And the generation of kids that are coming up today, do you know how many of them Uber? | ||
| They don't even have cars? | ||
| Crazy. | ||
| A lot of people Uber now. | ||
| They just take Lyfts and Ubers everywhere. | ||
| Okay, so this generation Uber. | ||
| Then the next generation Uber. | ||
| Who knows how to drive the car in the third generation? | ||
| Well, then you're going to be having these things. | ||
| There's going to be a generation, whether it's our grandchildren or their grandchildren, that never drives. | ||
| No one drives their own car. | ||
| Everybody has an automated vehicle. | ||
| That's like writing. | ||
| Kids don't learn in school how to write. | ||
| They don't learn cursive. | ||
| And they don't learn cursive. | ||
| That's crazy to me. | ||
| That's insane. | ||
| It's insane. | ||
| They're all just typing on their phones and typing on the computer. | ||
| That don't mean get rid of writing. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| They took the clock out of the school because people have digital... | ||
| But you still want them to be able to tell... | ||
| America is not the world. | ||
| Like, you know, you're going to probably go somewhere else in the world and you're going to have to write something. | ||
| Like, that's crazy. | ||
| And you see a clock and you're like, what the fuck is that saying? | ||
| You're used to digital. | ||
| And then when you used to get offended, when people said stupid to Americans, now you're like, I understand. | ||
| What do you mean? | ||
|
unidentified
|
This country is crazy, man. | |
| Well, I think there's some Americans, they go abroad, they just act like fucking assholes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know, they think they're allowed to, because they're in another country. | |
| They ruin it for everybody else. | ||
| No, I think locked up abroad has changed that whole ideology. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Locked up abroad has changed, oh, I'll go anywhere and do whatever I want to do. | ||
| Like, you've seen the show Locked Up Abroad? | ||
| No. | ||
| Watch a couple episodes. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Watch a couple episodes and then go over to Yugoslavia and see how you feel about that, man. | ||
| And then when people get taken. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, man, I don't go anywhere and don't check in with the embassy. | ||
| Really? | ||
| I need somebody to know where I'm at. | ||
| So when you go to a country to work, you check in with the embassy? | ||
| Yeah, hey, I need to know where y'all at and what's the room. | ||
| Yeah, I need to know because I'm not going somewhere and don't know where the embassy is. | ||
| I watch Jason Bourne. | ||
| At least you can run to the embassy and you're safe, at least in that. | ||
| But if I go to Dallas, I live in Houston. | ||
| If I go to Dallas, I'm checking in with the embassy. | ||
| I'm nothing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm nothing. | |
| I need somebody to know I'm at, man. | ||
| I'm just not rocking with being in this world without somebody knowing my whereabouts. | ||
| Even though I'm a grown man, I'm going to say something to somebody, hey, I'm going to roll over here. | ||
| I need a witness or an alibi. | ||
| I need something. | ||
| I just... | ||
| I don't believe in being in the world by yourself. | ||
| I just don't. | ||
| That's a good move. | ||
| The world is definitely not America either. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's the thing. | ||
| It's not. | ||
| Like, look what happened to Brittany Griner. | ||
| That would not happen in America. | ||
| Russians come to America and they do all kinds. | ||
| Like Russians fight in the UFC almost every weekend and no one cares. | ||
| No one gets mad at them. | ||
| No one screams at them. | ||
| No one throws things at them. | ||
| They go out there. | ||
| People cheer when they win. | ||
| There's a ton of Russian fighters that are in the UFC. You know, me and a friend of mine was talking, another comic, Gerard G. And we was talking, he said, man, this country is crazy. | ||
| Remember when Floyd Mayweather fought Manny Pacquiao? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| In this same country where they, I'm talking about holding up the flag and the United States all the way. | ||
| We was talking. | ||
| He said, man, this is the first time he was at a fight party, a white fight party. | ||
| And this lady said, I hope he kicks the shit out of Floyd. | ||
| He said... | ||
| What? | ||
| He said, you couldn't find one Filipino in the world that was going for Floyd Mayweather. | ||
| Not one. | ||
| But you could find a bunch of Americans. | ||
| Somebody who was born and raised right in Michigan. | ||
| You could find a bunch of Americans who was wanting the Filipino to beat him. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| That's a very good point. | ||
| Filipinos are very proud. | ||
| Very nationalist people. | ||
| They love Manny Pacquiao. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| My son is a very gentle soul, and Manny Pacquiao is one of the ones I showed him. | ||
| I don't know, to be a boxer, my 12-year-old, he doesn't really want to beat you up. | ||
| I'm like, but I saw you don't have to hit people. | ||
| But then, you know, I'm just... | ||
| I said, let me show you one of the most gentle people in the world until he gets in that ring. | ||
| And I showed him Manny Pacquiao and Mike Tyson. | ||
| I was like, look, these are gentle people. | ||
| And then they get in the ring and another button happens. | ||
| That's how you're going to have to be. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Did you see the Mayweather Gotti thing yesterday? | ||
| No, I didn't. | ||
| So, John Gotti, the mobster, his grandson... | ||
| Okay, the brawl. | ||
| Yeah, so what happened was, this is the end of the fight, but see if you can find what caused it, because there's a video that shows the end of the fight, and in the end of the fight, what happened was, if you just Google, just tweet, like, put Mayweather Pacquiao in Twitter, you'll find it. | ||
| Excuse me, Mayweather Gotti. | ||
| What caused it? | ||
| He was holding. | ||
| So he wouldn't stop. | ||
| Floyd was boxing him up. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So Floyd is just piecing him up. | ||
| So Floyd, you know, I mean, even at 46, he's the greatest of all time. | ||
| And this kid is really an MMA fighter. | ||
| He's a tough guy. | ||
| He caught Floyd a couple times with some little shots. | ||
| But mostly he's just getting boxed up, right? | ||
| Boxed up by literally the greatest boxer of all time. | ||
| But he was holding on quite a bit and wouldn't let go and was trying to like hold and clinch and hit, which is something like right here, which is something you can do in MMA. So he's protecting himself from Floyd, but he's not letting go. | ||
| And so Kenny Bayless gets tired of him not listening and not letting go. | ||
| And he pushes him off and he says, that's it. | ||
| I'm stopping this fight. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| You won't listen to me. | ||
| I am calling this fight. | ||
| So he goes crazy and gets away from Kenny Bayless and just starts wailing punches at Floyd. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| Floyd catches him with a counter right there. | ||
| Bang! | ||
| Knocked him way over the hand. | ||
| Yeah, well, the other guy got in the way, too. | ||
| But, you know, I mean, it became a melee. | ||
| And so then there's fights in the ring, and then there's fights outside the ring, and there's all this cell phone footage of people brawling and sucker-punching each other. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I saw some of that. | |
| That was... | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, here's the brawls outside. | |
| Just random brawls. | ||
| Just people just screaming and yelling at each other. | ||
| At the end of the day, he was just getting frustrated. | ||
| Floyd was just boxing him up, which is what he does. | ||
| You came into his sport, got into his arena, you crawled into the snake hole, and then got mad at the snake for biting you. | ||
| Yeah, I don't know why he didn't listen, why he didn't let go. | ||
| I don't know if they were talking shit to each other. | ||
| I don't know what was going on. | ||
| But Kenny said, that's it. | ||
| That was a wrap. | ||
| And then everybody went crazy. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| Including him. | ||
| I probably didn't expect that. | ||
| Well, there's no points, right? | ||
| Because it's an exhibition. | ||
| What's interesting is Floyd's making more money than anybody, and he's boxing people who have no chance of beating him, and he's doing it as an exhibition. | ||
| It doesn't even hurt his record. | ||
| Because of the drug of boxing. | ||
| Also money. | ||
| I don't even think he needs any money. | ||
| He spends so much money. | ||
| Yeah, but he don't need any. | ||
| Are you sure? | ||
| Yeah, Floyd good. | ||
| I bet if he's playing for the future, you got to keep it coming in if you're going to keep spending the way he spends. | ||
| Yeah, but I think he has a lot of other business interests that he can get money from. | ||
| Hopefully. | ||
| And not just boxing. | ||
| But it's the drug of getting... | ||
| Floyd still trains even when he doesn't have a fight. | ||
| He posted this a week ago of all of the Air Force ones he buys. | ||
| He only wears them once and then gives them away to someone. | ||
| One fresh pair a day. | ||
| Come on, man. | ||
| He needs that money. | ||
| That money has to keep coming in if you're going to live like this. | ||
| It's not that expensive, though, but... | ||
| He's only 46. But he does this with everything, man. | ||
| He's got million-dollar watches. | ||
| I don't think he buys every pair. | ||
| They give them to them? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because then you get a video like that. | ||
| Right. | ||
| That's smart. | ||
| And then you get Floyd's Air Force funds giving away for charity. | ||
| That's a tax write-off. | ||
| And all sorts of things that goes into that. | ||
| Yeah, you got a good point. | ||
| But those million-dollar watches, they're not giving you those. | ||
| They still, you know, worth whatever they worth. | ||
| Like, you got eight of them. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| Look at all those diamonds. | ||
| That's ridiculous. | ||
| That's millions of dollars worth of diamonds. | ||
| That's bonkers. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| Look at his watch. | ||
| Yeah, he's like a professional baller. | ||
| That watch right there is not like... | ||
| I wouldn't wear it because it's not my thing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Even if, you know, I had, I wouldn't wear it. | ||
| It's just not attractive to me. | ||
| No, I'm not into bling down watches either. | ||
| Nah. | ||
| I like mechanical watches. | ||
| I like a metal. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's what I like. | ||
| But, you know, I get it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Metal. | ||
| Yeah, they work. | ||
| I like dive watches. | ||
| Yeah, that's why I wear a watch that you can dive in. | ||
| Well, I wear them so you can set a timer. | ||
| Like, if I want to do something, I spin that little bezel and I can set it for 15, 20 minutes. | ||
| I always look down and know how much time has passed. | ||
| It's very convenient to have a little tiny watch. | ||
| Very convenient. | ||
| It's great when someone's going on stage. | ||
| You're like, how long has he been up for? | ||
| Because sometimes you forget. | ||
| You're in the green room. | ||
| I just look at my watch. | ||
| Boom. | ||
| Yeah, I don't have to remember what time he went on stage. | ||
| Okay, he went on stage, 9.07, so what time is it now? | ||
| I don't have to do that. | ||
| As soon as someone goes on stage, they're like, all right. | ||
| Bam. | ||
| Now I know. | ||
| It's perfect. | ||
| Perfect. | ||
| Divewatch literally is designed for comedians. | ||
| It's great. | ||
| Someone's going on stage, they're doing 15 minutes, you can go outside, hang out, smoke a joint, go. | ||
| He's at 7, you know? | ||
| And that's the perfect thing. | ||
| People don't understand. | ||
| And these are the things that we get away from using your brain because you, you know, take the clock down. | ||
| Insane. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Well, that's the least of what's insane about schools today. | |
| Oh. | ||
| The biggest insanity is that it's not a cherished position to teach people. | ||
| It's not a position where you have the most qualified, the best people possible and they get paid really well because they have an incredible job. | ||
| They're educating the young children and that education can literally form the path that you go on for the rest of your life. | ||
| Your experiences that you have in schools with good teachers, they can shape and form you in a way that changes your whole life. | ||
| They can expose you to ideas that you never heard before and it changes the way you think about things. | ||
| It changes the path of your life. | ||
| Yeah, they can do all of those things. | ||
| Or... | ||
| Okay, let's go to this point first. | ||
| New Zealand has the best school system, has teachers who get paid, and they also have the best teachers because they have people who want to be teachers. | ||
| I think that if it's not a position in this country where it's made attractive, where people can... | ||
| One, survive and actually have the way they really want to be teachers. | ||
| I think that sometimes we have a lot of people, like I grew up when, if the kids of the day of the day had my teachers, I think everything would be cool. | ||
| Because I had teachers that inspired thought and creativity. | ||
| And they wanted to be teachers. | ||
| That's the biggest thing when you have people who want to do their job. | ||
| Or it's more like a passion to them. | ||
| Every teacher I've ever known that was great used to tell me that this is a labor of love. | ||
| I love teaching. | ||
| I'm a teacher. | ||
| This is what I was designed to do. | ||
| I'm not waiting to do anything else. | ||
| And if you have teachers that'll walk out for more money, You should also walk out for a better curriculum as well if your desire is to teach children and to inspire the youth to be. | ||
| And I credit teachers for everything that I am. | ||
| You know, my mom's a teacher. | ||
| So it's like my friends are teachers. | ||
| My sister's in Thailand right now teaching English. | ||
| It's like I come from that. | ||
| And I always loved... | ||
| My science teacher was my coach, too. | ||
| He wasn't just the coach. | ||
| He was the math... | ||
| One year was the math teacher. | ||
| One year was the history teacher. | ||
| You know, it was people who desired and wanted to nourish children. | ||
| And the pay, it definitely has to be increased, but you have to... | ||
| Increase the quality of what you're paying for. | ||
| But don't you think that that's how you do it? | ||
| If you want to get better teachers, the better curriculum, don't you think you incentivize them with more money so you would get more motivated people? | ||
| I think you do both at the same time. | ||
| You change the pay and you change the criteria of what it is to be a teacher. | ||
| Agreed. | ||
| At the same time. | ||
| Yeah, I agree. | ||
| And then you put these kids in a system to where everything is nourishing, even down to the food. | ||
| You take all these cafeteria workers out and you put chefs back there. | ||
| You put some people and you teach them and give them time to dodge it. | ||
| Just change the whole system. | ||
| They should have an hour to eat and they should get a four-course meal. | ||
| They should be taught things while they're eating. | ||
| They should be in a very clean environment that you have. | ||
| I used to love that the custodian, when I was growing up, he always wanted to – he took pride in keeping the school clean. | ||
| It wasn't a job that was looked down upon because he did everything. | ||
| He was the maintenance man and the custodian. | ||
| And he used to be like, hey man, I got this bathroom clean in here. | ||
| Now y'all gonna stop pissing all over the damn... | ||
| That's how he used to talk to us. | ||
| We were in the fourth grade. | ||
| Hey, stop pissing all over the damn thing. | ||
| And I'm like... | ||
| Yes, sir. | ||
| And he taught you hygiene in the bathroom. | ||
| I think that you should change. | ||
| I see all these things where they changing how they house prisoners. | ||
| I get that. | ||
| But change how you teach children to where you don't have to house prisoners. | ||
| That's the goal. | ||
| You're doing the shit backwards. | ||
| And I don't get that part of it. | ||
| That's where I get worried. | ||
| And that's where I worry that, you know, I don't know how many times we've talked about it on this podcast, but it came up recently because there was a man named Bruce Bryan. | ||
| And he did 29 years for a crime that he didn't do. | ||
| And my friend Josh Dubin, who used to be, he used to work with the Innocence Project. | ||
| Now he does his own thing. | ||
| And he releases, he gets prisoners released. | ||
| He's an attorney, civil rights attorney. | ||
| And he goes to these places, finds these people. | ||
| We've talked about this so many times. | ||
| If they really wanted to fix it, what they would do is they would figure out the areas that have the most crime and dump a shitload of money in it and a shitload of time and effort and try to figure out how to mitigate all these problems in these places. | ||
| And you're going to have less people that go to those places. | ||
| And until they do that, they don't care. | ||
| And then you've got these fears of things like the prison guard unions that literally lobby to keep marijuana drug laws so that people keep going to jail, so they'll have more people in their jails, so they don't lose jobs, which is crazy. | ||
| That's crazy to think of. | ||
| Something as innocuous as marijuana. | ||
| And you've got prison guard unions who are actively trying to keep the laws in place so that they're employed. | ||
| So you got a private prison system. | ||
| So you got a prison system where you can make money, which is terrifying. | ||
| So it's like this. | ||
| Been talking about this for years. | ||
| Glad you're talking about it. | ||
| Glad other people started talking about it. | ||
| So how do you boost up our economy when in a small town? | ||
| So you got in Texas, you have a lot of small towns. | ||
| And there's a place called LA, Texas. | ||
| So if you decide a Hondu, Texas. | ||
| So what you do is you put a prison in Hondu. | ||
| Which you employ the townspeople of Hondu, because they go through your system of training. | ||
| You don't have to have law enforcement, you just train them in how to run your system. | ||
| So you get some people that come from San Antonio, you get some people from Hondu, and then you boost the economy of Hondu. | ||
| Then you do that in multiple towns. | ||
| That's why the prison system is going to constantly do that because you're trying to boost the economy around your thing. | ||
| It's maybe 200 prisons in Texas. | ||
| Is it really? | ||
| That many? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| With that in private facilities where you have... | ||
| What they call transit units, which is, all of this stuff would be in Domino Effect 3, because I'm going to go through the first three years and then the last three years and show people how this system, you know, populates itself. | ||
| It's an industry. | ||
| Yeah, it's definitely an industry. | ||
| That's what Bruce is explaining that the town in upstate New York where the prison he was in was located in, everyone relied on the prison. | ||
| The people that are generational, people that their families had worked as prison guards. | ||
| You know how dangerous this is? | ||
| So you get into it with a guard on first shift. | ||
| On the first shift, you get into it with a guard on first shift. | ||
| So you get into it with Officer Smith on first shift. | ||
| Second shift, Officer Smith's mother and Officer Smith's brother work on the second shift. | ||
| Officer Smith's father works on the third shift. | ||
| Then he's a captain. | ||
| Do you know how much, you know how treacherous this becomes? | ||
| Because now something that happened on first shift, which is over because he's gone. | ||
| But it's been told to his brother and his mother. | ||
| So now you got a problem on second shift now. | ||
| And you have a problem on third shift. | ||
| So with a high-ranking person that's in a system that has no police outside of the The warden or the captain that's over them that's on another shift that's related to them that live in the same town with them. | ||
| Or that's married into them. | ||
| Or that's neighbors with them. | ||
| And then you... | ||
| How do you get contact? | ||
| You gotta write somebody. | ||
| Who you write and they review every letter. | ||
| In the people that's in the mailroom. | ||
| How you even know your letter even got out when his niece is working in the mailroom? | ||
| So you don't know. | ||
| Nobody knows that you even got beat and thrown in solitary confinement. | ||
| They could kill you and make up something because everybody is relying on the same thing. | ||
| You can't close the prison now. | ||
| Over one person getting killed, two people, ten people getting killed. | ||
| Okay, it happens in prison. | ||
| That's what people think that happens in prison. | ||
| No, it don't. | ||
| But when you put people in a small town, in a prison where everybody's related, everybody knows each other, this is what happens to people. | ||
| So it's not just a, you're not inside with one danger, you're inside with a lot of dangers. | ||
| Like most of the time, people don't think that they could get killed every day. | ||
| Or die every day. | ||
| They ain't your first thought. | ||
| But in this place, this is the thought. | ||
| I can be killed by the whites. | ||
| I can be killed by the Mexicans. | ||
| I can be killed by somebody black that don't like me just from a different side of town. | ||
| I can be killed by the officers. | ||
| That's a lot of mental strain on you every day if you don't learn how to navigate this. | ||
| But that's the system that you live in when you, especially if they're building prisons in a small town where everybody is, there's nobody to oversee this that has some other invested interest. | ||
| Like, if you was from another place, and you're like, I just want my prison to be ran right, And if I get any of these complaints, if something happens on this, you can regulate that, but when it's all the same, aw man, you in trouble. | ||
| You're in trouble. | ||
| And then, you make people work for 16 cents a day. | ||
| Where do you get 16 cents at? | ||
| Not in Texas? | ||
| Whatever it is. | ||
| $16 a day? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, no. | |
| What did Bruce Bryant say it was? | ||
| No, zero dollars in Texas. | ||
| Zero dollars in Texas. | ||
| Zero. | ||
| No, you see, I know about other places, that's why I'm saying they may get that in other places, but in Texas it's zero dollars. | ||
| What was it in Sing Sing? | ||
| Did he say $16 a day? | ||
| That's what he said, right? | ||
| Something insane. | ||
| In Texas it's zero. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's crazy. | |
| And then you make things and they sell them. | ||
| You make things and you sell them. | ||
| They sell them for sure. | ||
| And you clear fields and you grow crops and you do all that. | ||
| And some of that stuff, you eat what you grow. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| So this has been a place. | ||
| This place is like no other place. | ||
| It's different. | ||
| And most people aren't aware of this. | ||
| And they are unaware because Texas is very closed-lipped about how they operate. | ||
| They don't, like, on their show Lock Up, you done seen every other prison, every other prison system open their doors up to, hey, come and see how we do things. | ||
| Not Texas. | ||
| Not one time. | ||
| Texas is like, man, y'all better get out of here. | ||
| And they can. | ||
| And they can't. | ||
| It's their own place. | ||
| Like if the people that come from other places and they get into, like in Houston, there's a lot of people that's coming from other places that doing crime and then they understanding that once the law enforcement system in Houston is different and it's big and they cross talk. | ||
| It's not like you can't be in Iowa County and not in Missouri, in Missouri City and Sugar Land and Harris County and Bel Air Police. | ||
| All these people, And the constables and the sheriffs, like all these people coincide with each other. | ||
| It's not like one system. | ||
| So when you get caught, they put you in Harris County's system. | ||
| And it's not no cakewalk. | ||
| And you're going to learn fast that it's not like... | ||
| They don't slap you on your wrist like other places. | ||
| No, you can get a life sentence in Houston easy. | ||
| Easy. | ||
| Do something out of pocket. | ||
| Like you was doing somewhere. | ||
| Oh, you gon' just carjack. | ||
| Alright, that's a capital offense. | ||
| You had a weapon while you was carjacking? | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| Capital. | ||
| What did that start with? | ||
| 35. Whatever it is, it's gonna be 35 years and up. | ||
| So, get that wrapped around your mind. | ||
| Oh, you watched him come out the bank? | ||
| Oh, you premeditated robbing? | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| Sure got you on video too. | ||
| And you had a weapon? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Capital. | ||
| Like, damn. | ||
| Man, you get hit with so many charges and then they find out you got a weapon. | ||
| You got a weapon? | ||
| This is how they point at you. | ||
| You got a weapon? | ||
| Capital. | ||
| They ready to throw capital on everything because they need more people to put in these jails. | ||
| How scary is that? | ||
| How scary is that? | ||
| Texas is like this. | ||
| I only had to go once. | ||
| And it's nothing ever in my life that I do to ever get back to that position. | ||
| Nothing. | ||
| Nothing. | ||
| Like, I'll hold court in the street before something like that happens. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Look, I'm not in favor of carjacking or armed robbery. | |
| Not in any stretch of the imagination. | ||
| But until we address why this is all happening, until you address why some people have zero need to rob people, and some people that's the only way they can get by, or the way they've learned to get by, and it's been in their neighborhood for so long. | ||
| They've been dealing with gang violence and drug dealing and chaos all their life. | ||
| So, I ask you this. | ||
| Being formally from this position, Have I not seen anything else? | ||
| Like, ever? | ||
| See, sometimes I can rationalize when people say, I don't know anything else. | ||
| You have a smartphone? | ||
| How did you find out about smartphones? | ||
| Because they didn't come to the hood and drop a bunch of smartphones in the hood. | ||
| So how did you find out about it? | ||
| What you was watching? | ||
| Where you was at? | ||
| Okay. | ||
| So you was somewhere? | ||
| Okay, cool. | ||
| Were they doing what you were doing, what you're doing right now at that place? | ||
| Like, were they... | ||
| When you found out about a smartphone, were they gangbanging at the place or were they shooting and robbing people and cutting up dope? | ||
| Like, what movie haven't you seen that shows you the results of this? | ||
| What person haven't you heard speak? | ||
| Like, even when I was doing wrong, I had a sensibility of I heard Public Enemy while I was doing wrong. | ||
| Like, I heard Run DMC. I heard other things that had positive stuff while I was still doing wrong. | ||
| And I can't say it's all I know. | ||
| Because no, I wouldn't have never thought about a smartphone if I was in the street. | ||
| Because I would be in the street. | ||
| So it's not all you know, but it is what you're accustomed to if you grow up in a terrible neighborhood. | ||
| I don't even think... | ||
| If you don't have good role models, if the people around you... | ||
| I mean, you tell me. | ||
| This is what I'm saying. | ||
| I think that it's a lot of parts to this, but when... | ||
| It's also like when raising kids. | ||
| Like my oldest daughter, I used to tell her mom, don't say this in front of her, because then you give her that option as an excuse. | ||
| Something she probably never would have even thought of using, but when I give her the option to use it, that's the thing. | ||
| With me, I'm very transparent about, man, I didn't have to be in the street selling, though my mom had a job. | ||
| My desire for what I accepted outside of what my mother was saying to me, because nobody's mother is saying to them, get out in the street and gangbang and create ruckus. | ||
| Nobody. | ||
| So when does that voice become less important to you than whatever you're seeing in the street? | ||
| Because nobody in my community, not one black mother I ever even known in my life said to they child, this is the only way for you to go and get it. | ||
| It's to rob, pillage, steal, kill, sell dope. | ||
| Not one person. | ||
| I've never heard that story while I was in prison. | ||
| From nobody. | ||
| And when people would tell me, man, this is all I know. | ||
| How in the hell is that all that you know? | ||
| It's impossible for that to be all that you know because you were doing something before you were doing that. | ||
| I see what you're saying. | ||
| I see what you're saying. | ||
| You're a person that takes extreme responsibility, though. | ||
| You're also a grown man. | ||
| And you're also a man with a fully formed brain. | ||
| And your frontal lobe. | ||
| As a kid. | ||
| As a kid, you knew this. | ||
| Well, you were wise. | ||
| As a kid, I wasn't... | ||
| Man, Joe, man, with me, we was out in the street doing stuff. | ||
| We knew that it was wrong. | ||
| That's why we was trying to hide it from our parents. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| I wasn't trying to hide my basketball championship from my mother. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| I wasn't trying to hide when I was working and earn something from working. | ||
| I wasn't trying to hide that from her. | ||
| I knew exactly what I was doing because of how we were going about doing it. | ||
| And all of us knew that we were wrong. | ||
| And the consequences, what was ridiculous was we thinking that it's a, oh, we just go in and get a slap on the wrist. | ||
| Not understanding what you got to go through to even get that slap on the wrist. | ||
| Because when you, once, you got to get arrested first. | ||
| And when you go to the county jail, the county jail is not a place. | ||
| This is full of grown men. | ||
| And they don't care nothing about you being 17. They don't care nothing about you being 18. Caring nothing about you being 19. Whatever you were doing in the street, you didn't care. | ||
| So why would we care about what you got going on in here? | ||
| And we're going to put you in the worst position. | ||
| So maybe you can say that you don't want to be in this position. | ||
| Maybe the people who love you will come get you out of this position. | ||
| Like my mother did the first time. | ||
| When my mother bonded me out the first time, I should have learned then. | ||
| I should've learned then. | ||
| This lady has a job. | ||
| And I'm making it harder for her. | ||
| I'm putting my mother in the hole $2,000. | ||
| I got a $20,000 bond. | ||
| How old are you then? | ||
| I'm 16. You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And I have no reason because I want a goddamn UNLV jacket. | ||
| Well, you know that now, but what did you think when you were 16? | ||
| You know what happened was, how I even get in this situation, I'm in the car with some people that's really petty. | ||
| They're really petty. | ||
| And I know these people are petty because they robbing people and I'm not no robber, I'm a hustler. | ||
| And I know better than be with somebody that's a robber. | ||
| Because it's two different categories on things. | ||
| I'm hustling for whatever I want. | ||
| You're taking something from somebody. | ||
| You're a thief. | ||
| And I'm in the car and he snatched his lady purse and I don't say nothing. | ||
| I'm in the car. | ||
| They just on camera in the parking lot. | ||
| Everybody that go in the car, we go in there. | ||
| I'm not going to snitch on you. | ||
| But I didn't take no purse. | ||
| And I told my mom, I ain't take that lady purse. | ||
| But did you get some Jordans from the credit card that somebody used? | ||
| I'm with them. | ||
| But I ain't take nothing from it later. | ||
| I told him, man, that's stupid. | ||
| And boom, now I'm on probation. | ||
| Then, hey, I'm working at the grocery store, but I still got bread from my hustling. | ||
| So I'm in a position, and I'm trying to figure out how to give my mother this $2,000 back. | ||
| For some dumb shit that I done did. | ||
| Man, I'm not supposed to be with nobody even like this. | ||
| And see, nowadays people got this weird loyalty to people who they don't even fucking know. | ||
| That's the crazy thing. | ||
| You got loyalty to somebody who you don't know that ain't got as much to lose as you. | ||
| I only really hang with men that got things to lose like me. | ||
| So you make better decisions. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Hey man, I'm not... | ||
| Hey man, you got in the... | ||
| Man, what are you responsible for? | ||
| Or who are you responsible for? | ||
| That means a lot to me as a character of your person. | ||
| Oh, I'm just out for self. | ||
| Oh, nah, bro. | ||
| You can't hang with me and you ain't got nobody to just be responsible for you, just yourself? | ||
| Nah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Nah. | |
| Hell no. | ||
| You ain't got nobody. | ||
| You don't take care of your mama, your father, no great aunts. | ||
| You ain't got nobody in your life that's... | ||
| Hell no. | ||
| Hell no. | ||
| Like, man, my agent Joe, Joe don't have no kids, but he still love his family. | ||
| Like, he got somebody that he's responsible. | ||
| My role manager, Dre, he take care of his parents. | ||
| He got kids, but he take care of his parents. | ||
| He got somebody else. | ||
| He can't be in the streets wilding. | ||
| He got two grown ass people he got to look after. | ||
| I'm sad that his dog died. | ||
| He ain't been home lately because his dog ain't at the house. | ||
| I'm going to get him a new dog or something. | ||
| He got to be responsible for something. | ||
| Because they responsible for me. | ||
| They responsible for different aspects of what go on in my life. | ||
| So you got to care and love something because you know that I care and love something. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So you want the best for me because you want the best for yourself. | ||
| Yeah, the wildest dudes I know. | ||
| They have no responsibilities. | ||
| Not a goddamn thing. | ||
| It gets real weird when they get in their 40s. | ||
| Like, it's... | ||
| Real weird. | ||
| Do you know how weird it is to have somebody that's 45 years old, 50 years old, coming to your house for your kid's birthday party, and he's coming in, hey, what's happening, kid? | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know what I'm saying? | |
| If you don't get your grown, unresponsible ass out of here, like, it just... | ||
| Like, man, you gotta... | ||
| That's a part of, yo man, at least bring your mom or somebody, man. | ||
| Bring somebody else that love you, man. | ||
| We have people in our family that don't have any other family. | ||
| But they've been around a long time. | ||
| They've been around before I even had kids. | ||
| If you want to have a successful civilization, you have to have families. | ||
| You have to have families. | ||
| You would never have a successful civilization of all single men with no responsibility that moved to a spot. | ||
| I'm throwing that shit to Paris so fast. | ||
| I'm throwing that shit would be over. | ||
| Yeah, that's not going to work. | ||
| It's not. | ||
| I mean, they've always said that. | ||
| That's like something that emperors have written this down. | ||
| You have to have families. | ||
| People have to have families. | ||
| That's how you can control them as well. | ||
| That's how they stay controlled. | ||
| That's how you can control them. | ||
| Well, I would prefer not to look at my family as some form of control. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| It's not that way. | ||
| It's also, you know, Dave Chappelle said it best. | ||
| He said, having children didn't just increase my love, it increased my capacity for love. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's a beautiful quote. | ||
| I think it's perfectly described because that's exactly what happens. | ||
| It changes who you are as a person when you're responsible for young people. | ||
| It just fundamentally changes you. | ||
| Yeah, you think on a different level when you're responsible for young people. | ||
| And when I am at my best, I'm the most charitable to everyone because I think of people as babies. | ||
| Like, this is a baby that grew up to be this dude I'm in front of now. | ||
| I think, even if they're annoying me, I try real hard to just imagine what the fuck they went through to get to be this person right now. | ||
| This is not fun. | ||
| It's not fun to be annoying. | ||
| It's not fun to be them. | ||
| You're talking to a moron that's saying stupid shit and they're annoying. | ||
| It's not fun to be them where no one's impressed with you. | ||
| No one's interested in what you have to say. | ||
| You're fucking spitting in people's faces and you're drunk and stupid. | ||
| That's terrible. | ||
| You don't want to be that guy. | ||
| That's terrible. | ||
| But I try to always imagine. | ||
| The description is even terrible. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It happens all the time. | ||
| I've had some doozies. | ||
| They always want to tell you about their business. | ||
| They always want to tell you how good their business is doing. | ||
| I'm like, Jesus Christ, I don't even know you, man. | ||
| This is crazy talk. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Crazy talk. | |
| Get me the fuck out of here. | ||
| And then when you're talking to someone and they want to get the fuck out of there and you know they want to get the fuck out of there, then you feel insecure and you try to be more entertaining or nice, try to turn them around. | ||
| And they're like... | ||
| That's not fun for them. | ||
| That poor little baby. | ||
| That poor little baby grew up to become an annoying 45-year-old dude. | ||
| That poor little baby. | ||
| That poor little baby. | ||
| He's 45, but he's a poor little baby. | ||
| Poor little baby's a goofy, socially awkward dude. | ||
| It's just annoying. | ||
| And they say weird stuff. | ||
| They do. | ||
| The problem is you're used to talking to comics. | ||
| That's part of the problem. | ||
| I'm so used to talking to comics. | ||
| It's so fun. | ||
| It's my favorite people to talk to. | ||
| So when I talk to people that stories suck, you got great stories. | ||
| You're a master storyteller. | ||
| You tell a fucking story. | ||
| If you're at a party and you're telling a story, people are going to listen. | ||
| It's going to be interesting. | ||
| It's going to be funny as shit. | ||
| Some people suck at stories. | ||
| And there's nothing worse when you've heard a real good story to go back to listening to a sucky story. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| That is true. | ||
| And I know because I'm labeled as a storyteller when people try to talk to me they try to tell me stories and I be kind of rushing it like And uh-huh, and what? | ||
| It's like, all this part is, this could be interesting, but you are losing me in all of this part right here. | ||
| For no reason. | ||
| For no reason. | ||
| Man, speed it up. | ||
| You got there in two words. | ||
| And then I say, so... | ||
| After that happened, what happened then? | ||
| And man, I went back. | ||
| And then I don't like when people repeat the first part of the story. | ||
| Man, I heard you the first time. | ||
| Because this is how I listen to people's story. | ||
| I just listen. | ||
| Like, I'm not the... | ||
| Mm-hmm. | ||
| And go ahead. | ||
| And yeah. | ||
| No, I'm just... | ||
| Man, are you... | ||
| Did you hear what I said? | ||
| Yes, because I am actively listening. | ||
| I'm not listening to respond. | ||
| I'm just... | ||
| I'm locked in. | ||
| Actually locked in. | ||
| And, well, you're not saying nothing. | ||
| I'm going to remember all the points that I want to say when you're done. | ||
| Because you may cover something that I'm thinking. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So I don't want to interrupt you in the course of it. | ||
| I'm just listening. | ||
| And then, oh, I can mark that off because he just said why that happened. | ||
| Podcasting. | ||
| Okay, so all that happened, right? | ||
| Okay, cool. | ||
| So going back, that's what I do because I know how to actively listen to somebody's story. | ||
| Tony and I do that all the time with comedians, where we're like, this whole thing, you don't need that part. | ||
| That whole part is just wasted time. | ||
| You know that whole setup part? | ||
| Everyone knows what that means. | ||
| Just say this. | ||
| And they're like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| And that's what Kill Tony is, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And I'm supposed to be doing that. | ||
| Are you doing it tonight? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, it's going to be great. | ||
| I did it Saturday night. | ||
| I did the big one that they did, the 10th anniversary. | ||
| Oh, the 10th anniversary. | ||
| It was wild! | ||
| The fucking, the rabid fans that they have, it's crazy. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| 3,000 people, it's sold out as quick as they can sell the tickets. | ||
| It's sold out in under an hour. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| And you get there, and they're like... | ||
| I haven't experienced that yet. | ||
| I'm waiting. | ||
| 2024, we're supposed to be doing a theater tour. | ||
| I hope it really just sells out. | ||
| Oh, you're going to get 8 million? | ||
| 8 what? | ||
| How many? | ||
| 8.1? | ||
| That's the first one. | ||
| The second one, we're trying to get 10 million, 16 million. | ||
| You're going to have to change to bigger venues. | ||
| It's going to happen so fast. | ||
| You're going to be in arenas. | ||
| You're going to be in arenas, 100%. | ||
| When you do an arena, do it in the round. | ||
| In the round? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know why? | ||
| Believe it or not, it's actually more intimate. | ||
| It seems weird, but when it's a stage, it's a big, tall-ass stage, and you're looking down on people, and they're all in front of you. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| It's like you've got to almost project to bring them into you. | ||
| Like, come on, we're all... | ||
| I know there's a lot of us, but we're all just hanging out. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| But when it's in the round, everybody on this side is looking at everybody on this side and everybody on this side is looking at everybody on this side. | ||
| Everybody sees everybody laughing. | ||
| And everybody's laughing at everybody. | ||
| And the sound is insane. | ||
| And you just walk around. | ||
| And you get used to it. | ||
| You just walk around and talk. | ||
| And while you're walking around, you do your jokes. | ||
| And there's giant screens everywhere so people could always see your facial expressions. | ||
| It's intimate. | ||
| You know what's insane? | ||
| In this business, just wanting to be a good comic, just wanting to develop that skill. | ||
| Then getting to this point where we even talking about 2024, we going to theaters. | ||
| And we taking some big swings in some big places, you know, in Chicago and in New York. | ||
| You doing a Chicago theater? | ||
| We hoping. | ||
| That's a great fucking venue. | ||
| And then in the course of trying to shoot Domino Effect 3 and 4 in September, trying to find a venue for that, the thought of doing arenas and getting to that point, and when people say, man, you've been doing something 25 years, are you tired? | ||
| I get bored. | ||
| Like you don't get bored with the elevation of doing things on a bigger scale. | ||
| Like doing all these shows that sold out and adding shows and when you walk out and people coming to see you. | ||
| But now Doing arenas or doing a theater. | ||
| When people coming to the theater to actually see somebody tell stories. | ||
| I'm not coming to see you do no TikTok clips. | ||
| I'm not coming to see you do crowd work. | ||
| I'm coming in with the whole mindset of he's about to do an hour and 30 minutes of compelling stories. | ||
| And this is what I came for. | ||
| To get that type of It's locked in. | ||
| It's on an audience. | ||
| Once I achieve it, I think I'm gonna be very, very happy. | ||
| You're gonna slide right into that. | ||
| It's no different. | ||
| It's no different than clubs. | ||
| It's no different. | ||
| The only thing that's different is the environment. | ||
| But the experience of doing it is the same thing. | ||
| It's just killing. | ||
| It's the same thing. | ||
| The challenge, what makes it interesting for me, 30 plus years in, I'm like 34 something, 35 years in, something crazy. | ||
| The challenge is jokes. | ||
| It's new jokes. | ||
| New bits. | ||
| Getting better. | ||
| You always get better. | ||
| You figure out a way to tighten it. | ||
| You figure out a way to do this one better. | ||
| Every new bit is a new living thing that you're feeding and growing and trying to make it the most palatable and the most exciting and the sneakiest and the funniest and the most outrageous. | ||
| Get the biggest laughs with it. | ||
| Like, what's the funniest way to say this? | ||
| And every day you fuck with it a little more. | ||
| And every day you're adding to it. | ||
| And every day you're putting a new piece here and a new piece there. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| I don't have to do it. | ||
| I do it just because I love it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's why I opened up the club. | ||
| That's why I tour. | ||
| I'm supposed to be coming to the club. | ||
| I'm excited. | ||
| When are you here? | ||
| I don't know the date, but I assume. | ||
| You're gonna love it. | ||
| You're gonna love it. | ||
| It's like the end of July, I think. | ||
| It's a fucking great place, man. | ||
| It's set up just for us. | ||
| It's set up just for us. | ||
| Everything about it. | ||
| Everything about it. | ||
| From the way you move around the club, where you don't have to go through the crowd to go from room to room, to the way the green room's set up. | ||
| The balconies, so you can watch the show. | ||
| This black curtain. | ||
| It's so... | ||
| Beautiful, right? | ||
| Beautiful. | ||
| You know, we had to change it. | ||
| It was a blue curtain at first, but then we put it on the monitors. | ||
| Like, it looked really nice. | ||
| The architect who did it, Richard Weiss, is amazing, and he did the whole building. | ||
| Amazing, amazing job. | ||
| But he wanted to make it pretty. | ||
| Right, so you had a beautiful hardwood, like light hardwood floors and a blue screen, a blue curtain rather. | ||
| And we were watching on the screen and you know, I'm fucking with everything, right? | ||
| In the beginning especially. | ||
| We need a light here and a light there. | ||
| We need timers underneath the monitor so everybody knows how much time you're doing. | ||
| And so you know how much the time the guy's on stage, how long he's been up. | ||
| And also we want light for each room. | ||
| So when you're in the little room, it's a green star. | ||
| In the green room. | ||
| So when he gets the light, you see the light. | ||
| So there's a green star lights up in the green room. | ||
| And if it's in the big room, it's a blue star. | ||
| So it was all this tweaking and shit we did. | ||
| And we were watching on the monitor. | ||
| I'm like, that floor's gotta go. | ||
| It's gotta be black carpet. | ||
| Black carpet and a dark, like sparkly black curtain, just like in the little boy. | ||
| The smaller room. | ||
| So we put that in there. | ||
| Now it's... | ||
| Now I don't want to fuck with anything. | ||
| Now I'm like, we're good. | ||
| I looked from the balcony yesterday. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| I can't wait to come. | ||
| It's right on 6th Street. | ||
| Austin is all lit up in the front. | ||
| And everybody's so hyped up. | ||
| They're so hyped up. | ||
| Because we were talking about doing it for two years. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I had actually bought another building, and I had to get out of the deal. | ||
| There was some shit wrong with it, and I got out of the deal. | ||
| So it took a whole extra year to get this other place. | ||
| And then once I got the place, I had to. | ||
| You want some coffee? | ||
| You know what's amazing is that when you have friends that say something like, yeah, I bought another building. | ||
| I know, it sounds stupid. | ||
| Then I grew up with that. | ||
| Yeah, so I had a whole other building and then I had to get out and I had to sell that building. | ||
| Who buy buildings? | ||
| That's dynamic. | ||
| It's normal for me now. | ||
| I know it sounds fucked up, but I'm just being honest. | ||
| So the building that I bought was owned by a cult. | ||
| Get out of town. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I didn't know the extent of it until I was already in the deal, until I had already signed the contract. | ||
| My friend Adam called me up. | ||
| He goes, hey man, you watch the documentary on this cult? | ||
| Adam Egott, who's our talent coordinator. | ||
| I go, no. | ||
| He goes, oh, it's bad. | ||
| You should watch it. | ||
| He goes, it's fucking crazy. | ||
| It's called Holy Hell. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's about this dude. | ||
| His name is Jaime Gomez. | ||
| And he was a gay porn star and a hypnotist. | ||
| And he started a club, or started a cult, rather, in West Hollywood. | ||
| He was teaching people yoga, and he got a bunch of young disciples. | ||
| They believed that he was a guru, and he was God energy, and he convinced them. | ||
| He ran this game for like 10 fucking years. | ||
| Maybe he was hypnotizing people. | ||
| He was, 100%. | ||
| That's how he got in trouble. | ||
| They all started talking because one guy left the cult. | ||
| When he left the cult, he sent a mass email saying, hey man, this guy's been hypnotizing me and fucking me for the past 10 years. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And then they all started talking about it. | |
| And they all started sharing the email, and they all started sharing their stories with them. | ||
| They had all kind of kept it under wraps. | ||
| And this guy was doing this, and he escaped L.A. because they were after him. | ||
| It was right around the time when Waco went down. | ||
| And the Cult Awareness Network was like going after cults. | ||
| And so they escaped. | ||
| He changes his name again. | ||
| His name was Jaime Gomez. | ||
| He changed his name to Michel. | ||
| And then he changed it again to Andreas. | ||
| And that's when he moved to Austin. | ||
| And he built this place called the One World Theater. | ||
| And this is the place I bought. | ||
| So all these poor, lost kids, they built this place for him. | ||
| They were his disciples. | ||
| They didn't have contractors. | ||
| The cult members built the place. | ||
| Under hypnosis. | ||
| Well, I don't think that was under hypnosis, but what he would do is he'd give them therapy every week. | ||
| He'd charge them money. | ||
| Charge them 50 bucks for therapy, and then he'd fuck them. | ||
| This guy. | ||
| You should watch the documentary. | ||
| The documentary is wild. | ||
| Holy hell. | ||
| Yeah, because we were talking about cults. | ||
| Here's the thing. | ||
| In the beginning, it was working. | ||
| In the beginning, it looked like fun. | ||
| Because I think in the beginning, he was young and hot. | ||
| He's a beautiful man, especially when he was young. | ||
| And he had this crazy body, six-pack. | ||
| That's when he's getting older. | ||
| But when he was young, when he was a gay porn star, he was a beautiful man. | ||
| And I think he probably got plenty of dick already and he didn't have to fuck his disciples. | ||
| And he just had these people that were washing his feet and he was teaching them yoga and telling them that they're all God energy and everyone's God and I'm God. | ||
| And he even got so far with the hypnosis that he convinced these people that he could give them the enlightenment. | ||
| He could touch them. | ||
| I think he called it the knowing. | ||
| And it would be like this big thing, you had to earn the knowing. | ||
| But when he gave it to these people, just the power of suggestion, these people were like... | ||
| Like they were having these ecstatic, psychedelic experiences, like they encountered God and it lasted for days. | ||
| These are people talking about this after they left the cult, after they knew he was a con man, after they knew that he'd just been hypnotizing people and fucking them and he was just full of shit and getting plastic surgery and all kinds of wild shit. | ||
| Even though they had gone through all that, they still went back and talked about when he would do that to them early in their life, and that they really did, like, experience God. | ||
| I don't think they were. | ||
| I think it's the power of suggestion. | ||
| Because I've seen it at... | ||
| Have you ever seen a comedy hypnotist? | ||
| They can do some wild shit to people. | ||
| That's a comedy hypnotist in front of an audience. | ||
| If you're a real hypnotist like this guy was... | ||
| And didn't nobody know it. | ||
| And you're just doing... | ||
| And you're trained in hypnotherapy. | ||
| You know how to... | ||
| And if you've learned how to get people to think that there's this thing that you have, and you can give it to them, and you hold it over their head for a long fucking time until you actually do give it to them, and when you do give it to them, they believe it wholeheartedly. | ||
| So they actually experience it. | ||
| Because your brain can produce all kinds of wild chemicals. | ||
| Your brain can produce legitimate psychedelic chemicals, like full-on tripping chemicals. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So if this guy can convince you that that's happening, your brain probably does dump all those chemicals out, because you think it's actually happening. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| Crazy. | ||
| So he's kind of telling the truth, which is the most fucked up thing. | ||
| He's kind of giving you this experience. | ||
| And it is a real experience. | ||
| But the whole thing goes off the rails. | ||
| It goes off the rails. | ||
| And eventually he has... | ||
| They actually fly him to Hawaii to get rid of him. | ||
| Damn! | ||
| They can't get rid of this guy. | ||
| Like, why he can't be arrested for the nonsense that he's doing? | ||
| See, the thing is, if you're gonna arrest him, like, those people are there because they're willing to be there. | ||
| They want to be there. | ||
| They believe in him. | ||
| 20 people went with him to Hawaii. | ||
| When the cult broke up, a bunch of them flew to Hawaii with him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We started a whole new cult over there! | |
| And he's old by then. | ||
| Now he's old and he looks like shit. | ||
| When he was young and he was like this beautiful guy who was convincing everybody, you are love, we are our love. | ||
| And they're like, yeah, we don't have to go to regular work. | ||
| We can grow our own food. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| That's why I don't believe in cults, things like that. | ||
| And I believe they happen. | ||
| I just don't believe the person who's saying it, just like I don't believe in anybody who's trying to tell me how to get rich quick. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because, like, why would you tell me? | ||
| Right. | ||
| Like, you are not that damn gracious where you're like, oh, I'm a billionaire. | ||
| I want to make you a billionaire, too. | ||
| Come on, man. | ||
| Get the... | ||
| The get rich quick scheme that they don't want you to know about. | ||
| That's always what it is. | ||
| They don't want you to know. | ||
| Man, in any type of... | ||
| Any type of group thing, like something comes around all at once and everybody's doing it. | ||
| Anytime I see a regular ass person doing something, Like, yo, man, you can invest in this. | ||
| Man, get out of here, man. | ||
| Get your regular ass out of here. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Like, I'm not... | ||
| And you have to... | ||
| For me to believe in you and something, you definitely have to look a certain type of way. | ||
| I'm just not... | ||
| Even if you look homeless, it's still a way to look rich at the same time. | ||
| Burt Chrysler showed me that. | ||
| I did Bird's podcast, and he came in my room. | ||
| I was in Tampa, and he came in my room with no shirt on. | ||
| Flip-flops. | ||
| He didn't even have on shoes. | ||
| And his toenails was painted, and he come with all this equipment. | ||
| And he walks in my room. | ||
| The first thing he said, can I use the restroom? | ||
| I said, yeah, go ahead. | ||
| It's right there. | ||
| And then he comes out of the restroom. | ||
| He's wiping his hands and saying, Ali, no disrespect. | ||
| Were you raised by a single mother? | ||
| I said, yeah, why? | ||
| Because your room is amazing. | ||
| I've been in my room for four hours. | ||
| It's like I've been squatting for two months. | ||
| And we do the podcast, and then he's walking out, and I'm thinking, because he don't have on shoes and no shirt, he's clearly in this nice Toyota Camry right here. | ||
| And I'm walking towards his Camry, and I look back, and he's like, Is that your rental car? | ||
| I'm like, nah. | ||
| I was walking around, I thought this was your car. | ||
| He's in this huge, like, pearl Benz. | ||
| It's a beautiful car. | ||
| This is a beautiful Benz. | ||
| And he's putting the podcast equipment in the back, and he just, like, slams the door, like, okay. | ||
| See you later. | ||
| Drives off with no shoes on, like... | ||
| Man, that is a rich-ass homeless person right there, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's the richest homeless person I ever think. | |
| Yeah, Burt is Burt. | ||
| Burt's leaning more into being Burt now that he has money. | ||
| He was more conservative when he didn't have money. | ||
| He looked like he was more wealthy when he had no money. | ||
| He looked respectable, looked normal. | ||
| Now, if you're not looking at his watch, you look at him like, who the fuck is this dude? | ||
| With a Rolex? | ||
| Is that a Rolex? | ||
| Rolex is going down. | ||
|
unidentified
|
How the fuck did he get that? | |
| That's a sky-dweller. | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| I was at his premiere. | ||
| He looked good. | ||
| The machine. | ||
| I called Burt up once. | ||
| He was on a motorcycle in Vietnam. | ||
| I called him up. | ||
| I was in the comedy store in the back green room area. | ||
| I was about to go on stage soon. | ||
| I just felt like calling him out of nowhere. | ||
| And he answers the phone. | ||
| I go, where are you? | ||
| He goes, I'm on a motorcycle in Vietnam! | ||
| This is amazing! | ||
| And I go, what are you doing? | ||
| Are you there for your Travel Channel show? | ||
| He goes, yeah. | ||
| I go, dude, you gotta quit that show. | ||
| I go, you're too funny. | ||
| You're too good. | ||
| You're a funny comedian. | ||
| You should be making money doing stand-up comedy. | ||
| Not doing that show, man. | ||
| I know it's a velvet prison. | ||
| You gotta quit that fucking show. | ||
| I would love to do a travel show, though. | ||
| Oh, it's too many months. | ||
| He was gone for like three, four months at a time when his kids were young. | ||
| Yeah, it's like not good. | ||
| It's also, it's like... | ||
| It was limiting him. | ||
| It was a great opportunity initially, but then it was limiting him. | ||
| I'm like, Bert, with just podcast and stand-up comedy, you're gonna be fucking huge. | ||
| Like, you don't need to be saddled into this organization. | ||
| Because they're also gonna be upset if you talk about certain things. | ||
| Travel Channel was a very conservative channel at one point in time. | ||
| I don't know how they are now, but I know Anthony Bourdain had a problem with them as well, a similar situation. | ||
| It's like, Bert, you're fucking bent against yourself. | ||
| If I find a great producer, I'm probably going to do a podcast. | ||
| You should do a podcast. | ||
| It's just a... | ||
| You don't need a great producer, man. | ||
| Well, I need a producer, because me coming in and setting up camera... | ||
| So don't do it on camera at first. | ||
| Nobody can do all this by the time. | ||
| Just do it audio at first. | ||
| Do it audio at first. | ||
| Real simple. | ||
| Get an audio recorder. | ||
| Get one of those little fucking... | ||
| What are those? | ||
| Rones? | ||
| What are those things called? | ||
| What are those things called, Jamie? | ||
| Zoom or Rodecaster? | ||
| There's a bunch of them. | ||
| They set them up now. | ||
| They have pre-made podcast setups that you can buy. | ||
| That's how popular podcasts are. | ||
| You don't need any bullshit. | ||
| You have a mic like this. | ||
| These are Shores. | ||
| These are my favorite ones. | ||
| We've been using these forever. | ||
| You put it on a fucking stand. | ||
| It plugs into that thing. | ||
| You press record and you do a podcast. | ||
| You got an audio file. | ||
| You upload it to iTunes. | ||
| It's free. | ||
| And then boom, it's up there. | ||
| You let everybody know it's up there, people start downloading it. | ||
| At least, what is the percentage of the amount of people that just listen to us? | ||
| What would you say it is? | ||
| I think it's over half still. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It's a majority still just listen. | ||
| Most people just listen. | ||
| So that's this, and this is, you know, a giant podcast. | ||
| When you first start out, people like to listen to podcasts when they're driving. | ||
| They like to listen to podcasts at the gym. | ||
| When they go on vacation, you're on a plane, six hours is easy. | ||
| Just chill out. | ||
| You got a couple of podcasts before you know it, six hours is gone. | ||
| Just do that. | ||
| And then it's easy. | ||
| It's easy. | ||
| You're already great at it. | ||
| You're great right here. | ||
| You're great at it. | ||
| Just do it. | ||
| Simple. | ||
| I think that's my next thing. | ||
| Do me a little podcast. | ||
| Before you know it, it'll be huge. | ||
| My friend Cameron Haynes was just here the other day. | ||
| Same thing. | ||
| I talked him into doing it. | ||
| It's forever. | ||
| I'm like, you're great. | ||
| You could be great at this. | ||
| And then you don't have a boss. | ||
| Now he's killing it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Same thing with Burt and all those guys. | ||
| Tom Segura, I talked to him into doing it. | ||
| I talked to Ari into doing it. | ||
| I talked to all those guys into doing podcasts. | ||
| You can have a great success record. | ||
| Oh, I'm pretty good at it. | ||
| Yeah, I know. | ||
| I know when someone can do it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| So that's my thing. | ||
| And putting these specials out, that's the other thing. | ||
| Mitch of it. | ||
| That's another the way you're doing it is podcast style in a way because you're doing it yourself now and Doing it yourself and putting it up on YouTube is the way to do it rather than going through some big corporation Some Netflix or HBO or whatever it is like you're almost betting against yourself at this point because the numbers that you get when you put it up where everybody can get it anytime they want and then someone can say oh my god have you seen this and And then they could share it, and they send it to you. | ||
| Oh my god, this dude's hilarious. | ||
| And they send it to you. | ||
| And then people just start sharing it. | ||
| They share it on social media. | ||
| They share it in text messages. | ||
| Boom. | ||
| Yeah, you don't need anybody anymore. | ||
| And podcasts just add to it. | ||
| It just adds to it. | ||
| And it's easy, and it's fun. | ||
| It's fun to do. | ||
| Have a friend come over, have a drink, smoke a joint, start talking shit, laughing your ass off. | ||
| That's basically what it is. | ||
| That's what it is. | ||
| And having a great time. | ||
| It's amazing the amount of power in sitting up talking. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| Well, I think one of the things that's happening to people when they're stuck in an office all day or stuck working all day is they're not getting to have long conversations about things they really think about. | ||
| And if you are in a situation where you can listen to people have those conversations, it's the next best thing. | ||
| And sometimes you can listen to those people have conversations with people that you're never going to get to meet, you know? | ||
| Yeah, that's the thing. | ||
| You know, I think that... | ||
| If you have great guests or you have great opinions or great thoughts that you can podcast. | ||
| Some people ask you to do their podcasts. | ||
| You're like, man, who the hell? | ||
| What the hell are y'all even over there talking about? | ||
| It's not for everybody, but it's for you. | ||
| That's what I say about a lot of things. | ||
| Most things that I like are not for everybody. | ||
| That's comedy. | ||
| The only time I've ever not wanted somebody to be good Ever was at the comedy stop. | ||
| The laugh stop. | ||
| In Houston? | ||
| In Houston. | ||
| That was the only time I ever wanted somebody not to be good. | ||
| Why's that? | ||
| I was... | ||
| I came there. | ||
| You had to get on the list when I started. | ||
| You had to come in and get on the list. | ||
| Oh, the open mic nights. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So I'm there and it's Monday and I signed up and I was like 26. On the list. | ||
| I'm like, man, 26 people. | ||
| And the guy in front of me was like, yeah, man, I've been doing this 20 years. | ||
| And I was like, oh, shit. | ||
| He is 25 on the list. | ||
| And he said he's been doing it 20 years. | ||
| And I'm thinking, yeah, I know a lot of comics, man. | ||
| I've studied this game a lot. | ||
| Oh, I hope he's not funny. | ||
| Because if he is, I got a long ass way to go. | ||
| I'm four months in. | ||
| He's 20 years in. | ||
| He goes on stage and he was fucking horrible. | ||
| And I was like, yes. | ||
| Like, no wonder. | ||
| You're still getting it together. | ||
| It was one of them things. | ||
| And I still see him around now. | ||
| Do you really? | ||
| At open mic nights? | ||
| At open mic nights. | ||
| Because I pop in every blue moon at an open mic. | ||
| And when you go in there, you see the same people in there. | ||
| You're like, what the freak is going on? | ||
| Yeah, what is going on? | ||
| Because do people not... | ||
| Okay, like... | ||
| You know what it's like? | ||
| It's like if you are in a boxing gym and this dude's been KO'd the last 16 times he sparred, you gotta go, Mike. | ||
| You can't. | ||
| You can't do this anymore. | ||
| You can't do this anymore. | ||
| This is bad for you. | ||
| This is bad for you. | ||
| Nah, bro. | ||
| You know, I'm working on my head movement. | ||
| Let me in there. | ||
| Dude, I'm laughing. | ||
| Because that Main Street boxing gym, it's guys that come in there, and you just in there, you like, hey, man, what do you do? | ||
| He said, "Hey man, he get beat up professionally." - Sparring partner. - Like what? | ||
| Like, "Hey man, he's never won a fight." Every fight he's ever been, he has been out of there. | ||
| But he's a sparring partner. | ||
| And in there just taking it. | ||
| And then he'll take fights where he knows he's supposed to lose. | ||
| There's a lot of those guys out there. | ||
| In the early days of a fighter's development, they will, you know, that's one thing that boxing has over MMA. They'll kind of almost be setups where, you know, this guy's like 20 and, you know, or 20 losses and like two wins. | ||
| You know, there's guys like that that are out there. | ||
| Legitimately, they have the craziest records you've ever seen. | ||
| And they're licensed. | ||
| And they'll go in and they'll fight some young Arturo Gatti looking dude. | ||
|
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Oh. | |
| That guy will light him up. | ||
| Them two wins. | ||
| It's like, hey man, did you fucking know you were supposed to lose? | ||
| Yeah, I was just in there. | ||
| I was trying. | ||
| The guy is so bad, he ran into my jab. | ||
|
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Yeah. | |
| Like, I don't know. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
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That's terrible. | |
| You just 2 and 25. You say, man, how you win them two fights? | ||
| I would be pissed. | ||
| Have you ever seen a fixed fight? | ||
| Not knowingly. | ||
| Not knowing why you're watching it? | ||
| Not knowing. | ||
| In the middle of this shit, like, man, this shit's fucking fixed, man. | ||
| There was some fixed fights in the early days in Japan, in MMA. There was some fixed fights. | ||
| Japan was real weird, because you had real fights, for sure. | ||
| And then you had some fights where the hero wins, the local hero wins, and you're like, how did he get him in a heel hook? | ||
| Why is he tapping like that? | ||
| Why is it so dramatic? | ||
| It was like, this is pro wrestling. | ||
| This is like... | ||
| There was some weird moments. | ||
| And there was a boxing match. | ||
| I remember this one. | ||
| I believe it was in... | ||
| Remember the guy who had a bunch of weird surgery? | ||
| He had muscle implants. | ||
| And he boxed this guy and it was so clear that the guy took a dive. | ||
| It was like the worst acting of all time. | ||
| Who was the guy that the bald head, big white guy that Tyson fought when he got out of prison? | ||
| Oh, he wasn't bald. | ||
| Peter McNeely. | ||
| Peter McNeely was the white guy. | ||
| Oh, you mean Franz Botha or Andrew Gulotta? | ||
| Was it Andrew Gulotta you're talking about? | ||
| The Polish guy? | ||
| He had on some American shorts. | ||
| He had on some shorts with some color on them. | ||
| I can't remember. | ||
| Not that guy that had on the green. | ||
| If it's Peter McNeely, Peter McNeely is the guy who fought right out of jail. | ||
| That's when Tyson had a six-pack. | ||
| Oh, not him. | ||
| Because that dude had on green shorts. | ||
| Did he? | ||
| So this is the guy. | ||
| So the guy on the left, is he like some rich guy or something? | ||
| But look at him. | ||
| He's some rich guy and he's got fake muscles. | ||
| Yeah, he got implants. | ||
| I can see that off the rail. | ||
| Yeah, but it's wild. | ||
| Look, his shoulders are fake. | ||
| Everything's fake. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| And so it's like this is the clearest like fixed fight you're ever gonna see. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| I mean, come on. | ||
| How fake does that look? | ||
| That looks so fake. | ||
| That looks so fake. | ||
| What just happened? | ||
| He hit him with the left hook. | ||
| But watch it again. | ||
| Let's watch it again. | ||
| Look at this guy holding his hands up and watch. | ||
| Watch this. | ||
| He like literally shows him his chin. | ||
| And just goes like, what? | ||
| And he goes down. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's so fake. | ||
| Watch. | ||
| I mean, this guy's a terrible actor. | ||
| Crazy. | ||
| Terrible actor. | ||
| So he moves forward, and then Muscles over here is gonna move in for the kill with his zero skills. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| He's got nothing. | ||
| It's like a guy who just learned boxing yesterday, and he's holding fake boobs. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| This is one of the weirdest videos, I think, on the internet. | ||
| He wants to be a billion trillionaire. | ||
| I don't know, but he's gotta be an insane person. | ||
| He's definitely insane with these fake muscles. | ||
| But also the fact that he wants people to think that he had a boxing match and that he won. | ||
| I mean, this is crazy. | ||
| This guy can't even fake go down. | ||
| Yeah, and then the referee waves it off. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| What a conqueror. | ||
| I mean, this is a crazy video. | ||
| It's fixed boxing fight. | ||
| You can find it on YouTube. | ||
|
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Oh, man. | |
| It's fucking... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Look at this guy. | ||
| That's a crazy person. | ||
| Look at this guy. | ||
| He's insane. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
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That is a weird thing to do to be a man and get a neck implant. | |
| That's insane. | ||
| That's so crazy. | ||
| Man, do you understand? | ||
| I think people don't think that these people have problems. | ||
| They just want to enhance their body. | ||
| Everybody wants to enhance their body. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| All right. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| Just me stuffing some shoulder pads under my skin and just like... | ||
| You see the one guy who has like the most of it? | ||
| He's like a human Ken doll. | ||
| Yeah, what's that dude's name? | ||
| He's a weird dude. | ||
| Oh my god, he's got everything. | ||
| He got calf implants and bicep implants. | ||
| Like, man, what is wrong? | ||
| And then his neck all skinny. | ||
| Like, it's crazy. | ||
|
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It looks so weird. | |
| But it's one of those things like anorexia. | ||
| They can't see how other people see it. | ||
| They have body dysmorphia. | ||
| Show a photo of his body because he's got all these implants all over the place. | ||
| That's crazy town. | ||
| All of his quads, his quad implants and calf implants. | ||
| He's addicted to the surgeons. | ||
| Yeah, and look, his shoulders. | ||
| I mean, it's kind of nuts. | ||
| But then the neck is all thin and... | ||
|
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Yelling at his neck. | |
| Like, that's crazy town. | ||
| Is that two different people or is that the same? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| That one looks even scarier. | ||
| Click on that one. | ||
| That's a different person. | ||
| Click on that different person. | ||
| What is that? | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| That one. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Click. | ||
| Jesus Christ, man. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| That is wild. | ||
| That is wild. | ||
| Man. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| That's so crazy that that's a real person. | ||
| And I know more people, I know a lot of people just, hey, just want to take the picture, which is feeding into the craziness. | ||
| Well, yeah, because it gets you more attention, right? | ||
| He says he's sinking after 11 nose jobs. | ||
| Oh, that's the other thing. | ||
| They all get addicted to it, so they keep going. | ||
| Like Michael Jackson. | ||
| Oh, man. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, we were talking about the other day, like, Michael Jackson's plastic surgeon. | ||
| That dude never advertised. | ||
| Just kept going. | ||
| He just kept going. | ||
| Oh, my God! | ||
| And the Barbie. | ||
| Oh, my God! | ||
| And then he became Barbie? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| And that was... | ||
| Dressing like this. | ||
| Oh Jesus Christ, everyone's insane. | ||
| And that's what he used to look like? | ||
| With the pants? | ||
| I would assume so. | ||
| Should I say she? | ||
| That's what she used to look like? | ||
| What a wild world we live in, man. | ||
| What a wild world. | ||
| Wait until people can change gender with gene therapy. | ||
| Wait until they can do that. | ||
| People are going to be bouncing back and forth. | ||
| How many times have you been a woman? | ||
| Well, I was a woman for two years, and I didn't like it. | ||
| I went back to being a man. | ||
| And I decided to be a really big man for a while, but my joints hurt. | ||
| So then I became a little man. | ||
| See what it's like to get picked on. | ||
|
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Then I went back to being a woman. | |
| Yeah, we're going to be able to bounce back and forth. | ||
| I think so. | ||
| I think not us, but I think future generations. | ||
| I think they're going to be able to manipulate biology in some very flexible way. | ||
| I really do. | ||
| I hope not. | ||
| Yeah, they're already fucking around with gene splicing with humans and animals. | ||
| They're doing wild shit and this is what we know they're doing. | ||
| Who knows what they're doing in other countries where we don't have fucking eyes on the lab. | ||
| This is why I believe in Bigfoot. | ||
| Bigfoot is some science project that got out that It's crazy, and they know it exists. | ||
| They know it's on a level they know. | ||
| It's just crazy. | ||
| I think Bigfoot used to exist. | ||
| I think it absolutely used to exist. | ||
| It's definitely a new one. | ||
| I don't think so. | ||
| You don't think it's a new one out there? | ||
| No. | ||
| It's some grizzly bag sheep that's just running around. | ||
| You know why I really don't think it? | ||
| Because the people that I know that are like real hunters that go deep, deep, deep into the backcountry for weeks at a time, real dudes. | ||
| Dudes are in Alaska. | ||
| Guys are in the mountains of Montana. | ||
| Guys are in the Pacific Northwest in the rainforest up there. | ||
| Those dudes never say shit. | ||
| They've never seen shit. | ||
| Everybody just sees bears. | ||
| You see bears. | ||
| And I think if you're a person that's not around wildlife a lot, you see a bear walking on two legs in the deep forest, especially if it's dark out, you think you saw a fucking Bigfoot. | ||
|
unidentified
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For sure. | |
| But at one point in time, it was a real thing. | ||
| You know that, the old story? | ||
|
unidentified
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I knew it was a real-ass Bigfoot. | |
| Gigantopithecus. | ||
| This is the thing with these scientific experiments. | ||
| Do you remember, it was a while back, I think we talked about it, or I talked about it somewhere where these orangutans got out of a nuclear lab in San Antonio, a biometrical lab in San Antonio. | ||
| You can look this shit up. | ||
| Now, It's no telling what they did to them in Rank of Tanks while they were in there. | ||
| But they were smart enough to get the fuck out. | ||
| So it's no... | ||
| Where did they go? | ||
| They were just out loose. | ||
| Did they catch them? | ||
| I think so. | ||
| Imagine if one got away. | ||
| Just hide now. | ||
| They don't even know what they came in contact with. | ||
| So it was a biomedical lab? | ||
| I didn't know they do experiments on chimpanzees. | ||
| I almost have a lot of sympathy towards any animal. | ||
| Brilliant baboons escape from Texas biolab using their captors' own barrels. | ||
| Yeah, baboons. | ||
| Using just a 55-gallon barrel, three baboons liberated themselves in the confines of the biomedical research facility this weekend for about half an hour before they were captured and returned to incarceration. | ||
| Incarceration's a fucked up word used for baboons. | ||
| They never did anything wrong. | ||
| That's fucked. | ||
| Baboons are freaky. | ||
| They're different than orangutans. | ||
| Baboons freak me out. | ||
| They use the barrels. | ||
| They got almost like a wolf mouth. | ||
| It's like a monkey with a wolf mouth. | ||
| But on Saturday, one baboon learned to put a barrel upright and use it to get to the top of the wall. | ||
| Then the three other baboons, monkey saw and monkey did. | ||
| And so they just hopped over and the four baboons scaled the wall, but one returned on its own volition. | ||
| That's a bitchless one. | ||
| He told on everybody, there's no other fuckers got out! | ||
| Remaining three were apprehended by members of the animal care and animal capture team, which wore protective suits and masks. | ||
| San Antonio news outlet KSAT reported that witnesses were concerned that the baboons were carrying infectious disease. | ||
| A news release from TBRI stated the baboons weren't infected. | ||
| What does that mean? | ||
| They weren't infected. | ||
| Infected with what? | ||
| What are you doing over there? | ||
| What the fuck are you doing over there? | ||
| You know? | ||
| That's the premise of the movie 28 Days Later. | ||
| Outbreaking. | ||
| And when the story happened, I said, man, y'all don't realize at the end of the world, that's the start of every zombie apocalypse movie I've never heard of. | ||
| Well, you know what's fucked up? | ||
| There is a real zombie virus that everyone is aware of. | ||
| It's called rabies. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Rabies. | ||
| Rabies is a zombie virus for animals. | ||
| I mean, they're not dead, but they might as well be. | ||
| They're trying to get to you and bite you. | ||
| They're trying to literally, their brain is hijacked. | ||
| They're so aggressive, they're trying to bite you to infect you with the rabies. | ||
| So the rabies has convinced these animals The baboons hop a fence at the reefers. | ||
| Oh, so here's this guy chasing him. | ||
| They're running, chasing after the baboons. | ||
| Hey, bro, get back here. | ||
| What if that baboon just turned around and just fucked them up? | ||
| That dude does not look like he's wearing a suit. | ||
| He looks regular. | ||
| Yeah, those are just guys on the street. | ||
|
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These are just kids. | |
| These kids are out of their fucking minds. | ||
| Bro, these kids are getting close. | ||
| Oh my god, these are just dorks. | ||
| Where is this? | ||
| It was in wherever it happened, outside of San Antonio. | ||
| Oh my god, that's Texas people. | ||
| Very close to here. | ||
| These wild dorks chasing after a baboon. | ||
|
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That thing will fuck you up. | |
| Fuck you up. | ||
| These are clearly people who have never seen a possum. | ||
| Yeah, they used to see him in the zoo. | ||
| They used to see him in the fucking zoo. | ||
| A baboon is way vicious, but a possum... | ||
| Oh my goodness. | ||
| That ain't protection. | ||
| They're COVID masks on. | ||
| They're not even the good COVID masks on. | ||
| Those gloves. | ||
| Those gloves aren't gonna do jack shit. | ||
| What are you gonna do with those gloves? | ||
| What the fuck are you gonna do? | ||
| Unless that thing just is used to people handling it. | ||
| Good luck. | ||
|
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Good luck. | |
| You can't even pick up a feral cat. | ||
| You ever try picking up a feral cat? | ||
| How the fuck do you think you can handle a 50-pound baboon, bitch? | ||
| That's way more than 50 pounds. | ||
| They about 80 pounds. | ||
| The big males? | ||
| How much is a normal baboon weigh? | ||
| I would say they're like 50, 60 pounds. | ||
| They look to me like a Belgian Malinois size. | ||
| My cane corso is a big dog. | ||
| That's a big dog, though. | ||
| What, you got a 120-pound dog? | ||
| 140 pounds. | ||
| 140 pounds. | ||
| I had a Mastiff that was that big. | ||
| A Regency Mastiff. | ||
| He was 140 pounds. | ||
| And Harry's lost like 7 pounds. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| 88 pounds for a big one. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| What is this one? | ||
| Oh, it's a specific kind that gets that big. | ||
| They didn't say what kind those were. | ||
| There's a psychologist named Robert Sapolsky. | ||
| He's a psychologist, right? | ||
| Is that what his profession is? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sure. | |
| Who studied baboons. | ||
| And a fascinating thing happened with this troop of baboons. | ||
| They were dominated by the alpha males. | ||
| And the alpha males always got first access to the food. | ||
| Neuroendocrinology researcher and author. | ||
| Professor of biology, the alpha males always had access to the food first. | ||
| Well, they were getting food from a dumpster that this resort was using, and the alpha males had access to it first, and one of the dumpsters was filled with bad food, tainted food. | ||
| And these baboons ate it and died. | ||
| So the ones that ate it first were the ones who had access to it and they died and the alphas were all dead. | ||
| So when the alphas were all dead, in the absence of the alphas being dead, the betas never assumed an alpha position. | ||
| They just got along with each other. | ||
| And it lasted for like, I think quite a while. | ||
| It lasted for years, I believe, until probably they went back to their normal way of behaving. | ||
| But for a long fucking time, they behaved in a way where there was no brutish... | ||
| Because in those packs of baboons, they're fucking horrible to each other. | ||
| Maybe they didn't think... | ||
| They were waiting on him to come back, and he was like, hey, don't nobody do nothing, because you know they're going to come back and beat us. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Don't pretend you're the boss. | ||
| And then somebody came and said, I don't think they're coming back. | ||
| And then they started it with the bullshit. | ||
| Bitch, yeah, I see it. | ||
| Jamie, see if you can find that study. | ||
| Bitch, you can't eat first. | ||
| Did you find it? | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| So when the top-ranking males died off in the mid-1980s, aggression by the new top baboons dropped dramatically, with most aggression occurring between baboons of similar rank and little bit directed towards lower-status males and none at all directed at females. | ||
| Troop members also spent a large percentage of time grooming Sat closer together than in the past, and hormone samples indicated that the lowest-status males experience less stress than underlings and other baboon troops. | ||
| More interestingly, these effects persisted at least through the late 90s, so wow, it was more than 10 years, well after the original kinder males had died off. | ||
| Not only that, when the adolescent males who grew up and other troops joined the garbage dump troop They, too, engage in less aggressive behavior than in other baboon troops. | ||
| As Sapolsky put it, we don't understand the mechanism of transmission, but the jerky new guys are obviously learning. | ||
| We don't do things like that around here. | ||
| So, at least by baboon standards, the garbage-dump troop developed and enforced what I would call a no-asshole rule. | ||
| Isn't that amazing? | ||
| Oh, this is prison. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because you can come in. | ||
| I see what happened now. | ||
| The other guy was like, no. | ||
| You see what happened to them. | ||
| I'm going to end up in the dorms and stuff. | ||
| We're not going to go that route. | ||
| So that's basically what happened. | ||
| They saw, hey man, these other guys gone, they dead. | ||
| And then you see they say that the other guys who were less stressed, they was getting their ass whooped. | ||
| They were getting slapped around. | ||
| So when the kinder male was like, hey man, look, let's just have a peaceful situation. | ||
| We ain't got to do all that, man. | ||
| You can come talk to me. | ||
| I'm not slapping nobody. | ||
| When you on what we call a Cadillac tank, that's what a Cadillac tank is, where you come over there and everybody come and lay it down to you. | ||
| Look, man, we ain't with nothing that bullshit over here, man. | ||
| Whatever you're going to do, all that stealing, whatever you got moved over here, it's Cadillac over here. | ||
| They let you know. | ||
| You don't want none of that wild shit over here. | ||
| You don't want to lose your TV. You don't want to lose your coffee pot. | ||
| You don't want to be locked down. | ||
| You don't want to be none of that shit. | ||
| Hey, man, you need something, come tell somebody. | ||
| You ain't got to steal nothing. | ||
| It's a convict tank, basically, where people understand how to do their time. | ||
| You're going to do your time less stressful. | ||
| I don't think people would appreciate, like, the average person thinks about jail, they don't think of that. | ||
| I think they probably wouldn't, they probably wouldn't imagine that that would be the case, but that makes sense. | ||
| You know what's weird about jail? | ||
| I don't understand why jail is so brutal when you're not found guilty yet. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Because when I went to jail, I'm going to talk about it in the special, but When I went, my whole thought was how to get out. | ||
| You don't even eat for the first four days. | ||
| You don't eat nothing. | ||
| They be bringing food and you're like, no, y'all gonna have that shit. | ||
| Because you're thinking I'm getting out. | ||
| I'm not acclimating myself to prison food. | ||
| I'm not even eating none of this shit. | ||
| None of this jailed food. | ||
| And then after four days, you don't get out. | ||
| Then you're like, well, hey man, let me get my juice. | ||
| Y'all gonna have the rest of that shit. | ||
| Day number seven, now you're eating all your food because you're not getting out just yet. | ||
| But you're still going to court. | ||
| I wouldn't be thinking about doing nothing wild because I'm still trying to fight my case. | ||
| And I don't think... | ||
| Most people don't even think like that. | ||
| They get... | ||
| I don't know what they be thinking, but it be some wild shit on their brains, especially when they there for a long period of time. | ||
| Like, man, I've been in here a year fighting this murder case. | ||
| Okay, but are you guilty? | ||
| So why are you acting like you guilty? | ||
| You in here doing all the rest of this nonsense. | ||
| I think it's a stigma that comes along with prison that people try to act out when they go there. | ||
| But I've been in other jails where it's not like that. | ||
| It's like, hey, man, I'm in here trying to get out. | ||
| And I was there on traffic tickets, but even if you go to Harris County on a traffic ticket, it's like you're in full-fledged, Like, why am I even around anybody who could... | ||
| What you in here for? | ||
| Capital murder? | ||
| Why am I even in here with you and I'm in here on traffic tickets? | ||
| Like, we don't... | ||
| We're not supposed to run into each other. | ||
| Shit. | ||
| And it's just crazy. | ||
| Like, you're not even supposed to run into those people until you go to prison. | ||
| Because jail and prison is actually supposed to be different. | ||
| Now, I understand you don't want to be in either place, but I don't understand the animalistic behavior that jumps off as soon as you get locked up. | ||
| And it's only with a certain ethnic group. | ||
| Do you think they think they have to do it that way because they've been told that that's what it's like when you get in? | ||
| That's the stigma that comes in. | ||
| Even though I was somewhere that I knew that was bad, I didn't go into it with the, I'm finna be bad, too. | ||
| No, man, I'm already, if somebody try me, then I'm gonna defend myself. | ||
| But other than that, I'm not going in there trying to bother nobody. | ||
| But see, that's the whole thing. | ||
| I've never started a fight, though, too. | ||
| I had to remember that by myself. | ||
| I've never started a fight, even though I can fight. | ||
| And I can fight well. | ||
| I just never started one. | ||
| But if you start one with me, then you'll figure out like, oh shit, he can actually fight. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I just don't start him. | ||
| And I think most people that can fight don't start him. | ||
| Because it becomes, I'm not the same person. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| In combat than I am as normal. | ||
| Like this shit is different with me. | ||
| And I'm locked in. | ||
| The scary thing is people who can fight, who like to fight, who do go looking for fights. | ||
| And those are real too. | ||
| Those are real too. | ||
| So just don't fight. | ||
| It's the dumbest thing to do. | ||
| Especially if you want to fight, learn how to fight, go to a gym. | ||
| You can get plenty of fighting in the gym. | ||
| You don't even have to have a fight. | ||
| Most sparring matches are basically fights. | ||
| Yes, and you... | ||
| I didn't tell you, but people know. | ||
| Did I tell you when I sparred with Todd Emanuel? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Man, Todd Emanuel beat the shit out of me. | ||
| And I was fucking with him. | ||
| I came in there fucking with him. | ||
| He had just fought Victor Ortiz or some shit like that. | ||
| And I just walked in fucking with him. | ||
| I just got in the ring with him like, what's up, Todd? | ||
| Shit. | ||
| He ain't here talking shit. | ||
| Todd took it to my ass, too. | ||
| He's like, but people know I can fight, but Todd was on one. | ||
| Todd took it to my ass. | ||
| And it was that first two body shots that I was just, and I was fucking with him. | ||
| And I was like, oh shit. | ||
| Yeah, there's good, and then there's professional good, right? | ||
| And then there's high-level professional good. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| High-level professional good is fucking scary if it's boxing. | ||
| Yeah, like Gotti just found that out about Floyd. | ||
| Like, that shit is different. | ||
| Now, you can say a lot about Floyd, but once them gloves get on and you across from him, oh, that shit's different. | ||
|
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He's still very, very fast. | |
| Very fast. | ||
| And that shit hurt. | ||
| Oh yeah. | ||
| All that shit hurt. | ||
| Oh yeah, of course. | ||
| Like even if he playing, that shit hurt. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, he fought Logan Paul. | ||
| Logan Paul weighs 200 plus pounds. | ||
| And he turnt the shit out of Logan Paul's neck. | ||
| Crazy. | ||
| Like, wow! | ||
| And I think he held him up like, hey man. | ||
| Don't fall because you'll mess the money up. | ||
| I think he's just too big. | ||
| I think Logan was just too big. | ||
| If they were the same size, I think Floyd would have knocked him out. | ||
| But Logan was so big. | ||
| He was so much bigger than him. | ||
| But them shots, though. | ||
| It's so crazy to see a guy who is the best boxer of all time having a fight with this super-athletic, gigantic YouTube kid. | ||
| I mean, look at the size difference. | ||
| It's insane. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's insane. | ||
| It was like when he wrestled. | ||
| Who the fuck else is there? | ||
| It's like when he wrestled with the big stuff. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Pro wrestling. | ||
| But at least that's theatrical, right? | ||
| This is an actual fight. | ||
| He turned his neck. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Even when he fought... | ||
| When he fought Canelo, Canelo's a big ass dude. | ||
| Yeah, Canelo's a big ass dude. | ||
| But he was very smart with that Canelo fight. | ||
| He made Canelo drop down to like 152. I think that's what the weight limit was. | ||
| Canelo, you know, he really had to drain himself to get down there. | ||
| And also, like... | ||
| You watch Canelo before Floyd and after Floyd, and you just go, oh, he learned. | ||
| His head movement is superb now. | ||
| Canelo gets in there. | ||
| There's fights of his where you see his head movement, and you're like, oh, my God. | ||
| I just saw his last fight with Canelo, and he big. | ||
| Yeah, he's a big fella. | ||
| Well, you know, he's doing 175 now when he knocked out Kovalev. | ||
| Yeah, so he got real small for that fight. | ||
| You know, Floyd is smart, man. | ||
| Like, same with Manny Pacquiao. | ||
| He waited and waited and waited and waited and waited until after Marquez knocked out Manny. | ||
| And he's like, okay. | ||
| We can fight now. | ||
| I think that was mostly promoters. | ||
| These promoters just be... | ||
| They're brutal. | ||
| They just... | ||
| And then everybody blamed the fight. | ||
| Oh, you didn't want to fight it! | ||
| No! | ||
| They couldn't get the shit together. | ||
| Bro. | ||
| The most disappointing one to me is Tyson Fury and Usyk. | ||
| I was really looking forward to that fight. | ||
| That was an interesting one to me because Tyson Fury is the biggest in the division. | ||
| He's got insane skills. | ||
| He's fucking huge. | ||
| He's six foot nine. | ||
| He's arguably one of the greatest heavyweight boxers ever. | ||
| And Usyk is this phenom of technique and footwork and movement. | ||
| But how is he gonna fuck with that six-foot-nine guy? | ||
| How is he gonna fuck with that jab? | ||
| Can you even get close to him? | ||
| He's so much bigger than him. | ||
| It's a fascinating fight. | ||
| And they fucked up. | ||
| Even gave him 70-30. | ||
| Tyson said he wanted 70-30, which, you know, makes kind of sense. | ||
| He's the big star. | ||
| Usyk even said yes, and they still couldn't get the deal done. | ||
| Still couldn't get it done. | ||
| I don't know what the fuck happened. | ||
| I know this Crawford and Earl Spence is gonna be... | ||
| Thank God they got that done now. | ||
| Because I was worried that they were gonna wait until Terrence was older. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Because it's like, if it happens two years from now, what is he, 36 now? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's a fucking good fight. | ||
| Regis... | ||
| Regis... | ||
| Rugaloo! | ||
| It's coming up. | ||
| Terrence Crawford is the slickest switch hitter since Marvin Hagler. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| This is going to be a problem. | ||
| This is a hell of a fight. | ||
| 28-0 versus 39-0. | ||
| That is wild. | ||
| And I think that... | ||
| What you predicting in this fight... | ||
| I would never predict a fight like this. | ||
| Because a fight like this, to me, is a let's see. | ||
| Let's see. | ||
| Yeah, it's definitely a let's see. | ||
| It's a let's see. | ||
| Because they're both at the top of the top in boxing today. | ||
| The pinnacle. | ||
| Both of them. | ||
| Both of them have their strengths. | ||
| This is one of them let's see. | ||
| I didn't think Tank and Ryan was just going to be this electric fight. | ||
| I just didn't. | ||
| I just thought Tank was just too much. | ||
| Yeah, I thought it was going to be too much too. | ||
| It's just he has too many tools and his style is so weird. | ||
| His style is so weird. | ||
| He's so conservative in the beginning. | ||
| He's not throwing hardly any punches. | ||
| But the fucking threat of danger always looms. | ||
| It's terrifying. | ||
| That's the problem with him. | ||
| It's like, you could be doing all that. | ||
| He just, you like... | ||
|
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And he's like, oh my God, if he hit me with any of this shit. | |
| Like, you still throwing very attentively. | ||
| Like, hey, if I throw this jab at it, I need to get this shit right back. | ||
|
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Like, I need this shit. | |
| Do you understand how fast I need to get this jab back to my goddamn face? | ||
| I need this. | ||
| And people won't even throw it all the way out there because they need to get, like, I can't give, because he's already up under you. | ||
|
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Yeah. | |
| And that's the problem. | ||
| That you see that he's up under you. | ||
| You're like, oh shit. | ||
| If I throw any goddamn thing, he gonna turn and he gonna blow my shit up. | ||
| And he's coming straight from the floor with crazy speed. | ||
| It's like Tyson. | ||
| People don't realize this shit is like a small Tyson. | ||
| Because Tyson was so leveled up under him. | ||
| As soon as you throw anything out there, if I throw my jab out there, I gotta have my knees bent. | ||
| I need my elbow to guard my goddamn bread basket, my liver, my kidney, all this shit. | ||
| Because it's just bad. | ||
| It's bad news. | ||
| It's just bad news. | ||
| Terrifying. | ||
| The consequences of any mistake are so big. | ||
| The consequences. | ||
| Pull up a Gervonta Davis highlight. | ||
| Let's watch some highlights. | ||
| KO highlights. | ||
| As soon as you open any of that shit up, he is... | ||
| How many fights does he even have that have gone to decision? | ||
| Oh, man. | ||
| It's only a couple. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's one when he broke his hand. | ||
| It was one fight where he won a decision when he broke his hand. | ||
| That might be the only one that went to a decision. | ||
| Damn, Shane. | ||
| The only guy who I think has a higher knockout ratio that's a champion is Artur Betterbeev. | ||
| That's the light heavyweight guy. | ||
| Count two. | ||
| So he's got one in 2014. Uh-huh. | ||
| And then one, yeah, up here. | ||
| Isaac Cruz. | ||
| 27 and 0. And all of them except two are by knockout. | ||
| Or excuse me, 29 and 0. And all of them except two are by knockout. | ||
| 27 knockouts. | ||
| Look at that! | ||
| Look at that! | ||
|
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Jesus! | |
| That shit! | ||
| Oh my god! | ||
| And it's skillful too! | ||
| Right up under your shit! | ||
| That fucking uppercut is so nasty! | ||
| I'm right here and as soon as you throw something out there that I think is, okay, uh-huh, you finna go. | ||
| Oh, look at that right hook, man. | ||
| Right on the tempo. | ||
| It's just, he hits people different. | ||
| Watch it, don't! | ||
| Boom! | ||
| Right over. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| The speed and the accuracy. | ||
| It's the power and it's also the technique. | ||
| It's like everything is there. | ||
| It's not like he's just a slugger. | ||
| He's a scientist. | ||
| He's like dissecting in there. | ||
| He's downloading data and then applying it and moving on you in a way you never had anybody move on you before. | ||
| Well, you can't breathe. | ||
| Look at that body shot. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| He will not let you breathe. | ||
| What's that? | ||
| You throw yours and I'm going to throw mine. | ||
| I'm already up under you. | ||
| And when you look at him, I mean, he looks super athletic and fit, but it doesn't look any different than a normal super athletic fit guy. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Very doable. | ||
| Yeah, it's not like some weirdness about his body that you see. | ||
| If you see like Yoel Romero, he's so ridiculously huge. | ||
| When he knocks people out, it kind of makes sense. | ||
| But Gervonta looks like a regular guy, but he hits like a fucking Mack truck. | ||
| The rolly fight, look at this one. | ||
| Boom! | ||
| I mean, look at that left hand. | ||
| Play that again. | ||
| Because that was crazy. | ||
| Boom! | ||
|
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I mean, it's picture perfect. | |
| He's coming in and he catches him coming in with a perfect left hand. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| Boom! | ||
| You don't even... | ||
| I mean, some dudes from a shot like that, they're never the same guy. | ||
| He ain't the same. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That shoe is leaning. | ||
| Boom! | ||
| I mean... | ||
| Incredible. | ||
| Look at this shot. | ||
| Yeah, he's so dangerous, man. | ||
| He's so dangerous. | ||
| It's like that body shot is what set all that up. | ||
| Because he is... | ||
| What's the guy that went to his corner is like, man, I can't see. | ||
| The guy before Ryan, the guy went to his corner after the round is like, I can't see. | ||
| I don't know which guy it was. | ||
| I don't think it's him. | ||
| But either way, I mean, this is how hard this kid hits. | ||
| It's insane. | ||
| He's in some crazy situation where the judge sent him to jail because he was under house arrest, but they put him in house arrest in a house, and it was too small for his security detail, his family, and his kids, and so he got a suite at the Four Seasons. | ||
| And his house got robbed, apparently. | ||
| And his house got robbed while he was in prison. | ||
| That's insane. | ||
| Insane. | ||
| He's so fucking talented. | ||
| There's so many fights for him now. | ||
| After the Devin Haney-Lomachenko fight and Shakur Stevenson, that division is just stacked. | ||
| What you think about that Lomachenko fight? | ||
| I didn't agree with it. | ||
| It's close, though. | ||
| If you go back and watch it, it's a close fight. | ||
| But I think Lomachenko edged him. | ||
| I think Lomachenko should have got the decision. | ||
| He was pushing it. | ||
| He definitely had more significant moments. | ||
| But Haney did land some very good body shots. | ||
| And showed his heart. | ||
| Because he got pushed further than anybody's ever pushed him before. | ||
| Look at what he did to Kambosis two fights in a row. | ||
| He boxed Kambosis' face off. | ||
| I had to go back. | ||
| Yeah, this guy. | ||
| Hector Luis Garcia. | ||
| That guy. | ||
| Yeah, he's like, I can't see. | ||
| He goes, I didn't know where I was. | ||
| That's how hard he is. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| I had to go back and... | ||
| I ain't in a little Machinko fight to go to the... | ||
| I started watching in five, in the fifth. | ||
| So I had to go back and see what type of damage did he do in the first four. | ||
| And I say, well, I guess they just go on these body shots. | ||
| Because Loma Chico, from round seven to the end, I thought that he was winning this fight. | ||
| Yeah, I thought he was winning too. | ||
| When I watched it without the sound, I thought that he clearly 8, 9, and 10... | ||
| Well, clear Lomachenko rounds for me, 8, 9, and 10. And then 11 and 12 was a toss-up because of the vicious body shots. | ||
| What are those body shots worth? | ||
| If you look at, like, a Gervonta Davis body shot knockout blow, it's obviously worth a lot. | ||
| But people tend to think that hitting someone in the face generally scores more than hitting someone in the body. | ||
| I don't know if that's fair. | ||
| It was a very, very good fight. | ||
| It was a good fight. | ||
| The problem with a fight like that is when a decision comes and most people don't agree with it, it kind of like taints the effort. | ||
| You know, it's like everybody looks at Haney like he did something wrong and he fought an amazing fight against a guy who's a ghost. | ||
| Lomachenko's a ghost. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, what he does in there is wild shit, man. | ||
| And he's a hard-hitting, and he pushed the fight. | ||
| He pushed the fight. | ||
| Yeah, he definitely pushed the fight, and he definitely did some wild shit, but he definitely got hit with some hard body shots. | ||
| It was a good fight, a very, very good fight. | ||
| I think the fact that he was trying to absorb the body shots with coming off his feet. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And it just don't look good. | ||
| It looked like somebody knocking you off your feet. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Instead of... | ||
| You're jumping with it. | ||
| Yeah, you're jumping with it, trying to take the impact off, and the shit's still hitting you. | ||
| And if he would have stayed down, I think it wouldn't have looked this bad, but shit, if you would have stayed down, would you have went down? | ||
| Right. | ||
| He's doing the right thing. | ||
| You gotta go with those shots. | ||
| Especially with Devin Haney. | ||
| Devin Haney's a big lightweight. | ||
| He's big. | ||
| He's big and he hits very hard and he's so skillful. | ||
| His jab is top notch. | ||
| In the Combosus fight, I was... | ||
| Combosus is good, man. | ||
| What he did to Teofimo when he dropped him in the first round, I was like, woo! | ||
| He's fast! | ||
| Haney jab. | ||
| Just crazy. | ||
| It looked crazy, but he also technically looked so good. | ||
| Everything he did was so good. | ||
| He's so well-schooled. | ||
| Yes, that was good. | ||
| That Loma Chico, I just want to see them fight more. | ||
| But I think Crawford is going to pull it out. | ||
| Well, it's going to be interesting to see. | ||
| You know, I would never... | ||
| To me, that is, who the fuck knows? | ||
| I'm excited to see it. | ||
| Errol Spence is a bad man. | ||
| He's a bad man. | ||
| Yeah, he's a bad man. | ||
| He hits hard. | ||
| I think he's underrated by a lot of people for some reason. | ||
| But that's another level. | ||
| But this is the highest level both of them have experienced, I think. | ||
| Like, who, I mean, who do you think out of people that Bud has beaten? | ||
| He's beaten, everybody's fought. | ||
| But who do you think is on the level of Errol? | ||
| Arguably, this is the best fighter he's faced. | ||
| Yeah, I think this is the best fighter he's faced. | ||
| I think this is the best fighter he's faced. | ||
| And this is no disrespect to any of the other fighters he's faced. | ||
| Yeah, no disrespect to them. | ||
| But I think right now Earl is like, he's in that stage, that Sugar Ray Leonard in his prime stage. | ||
| You know, there's a stage where a fighter is so elite that you're like, I can't wait to see what happens when he fights Roberto Duran. | ||
| I can't wait. | ||
| You know, there's this level where you're like, how good is he? | ||
| I just saw Sugar Ray and his benefit for diabetes and Sugar Ray looks fit right now. | ||
| He works out on Instagram. | ||
| Sugar Ray looks like he ready right now. | ||
| You can see his workouts. | ||
| He puts workouts up on Instagram. | ||
| And you know, when you run into a fighter and you don't realize how small they are in certain fighters and then other ones you don't realize how big they are. | ||
| I ran into Sugar Shane Mosley at the same benefit, and he's smaller than me, but he's rocked up, like, up under his sweater with so many knots. | ||
| It's like a pillowcase full of shoes. | ||
| It's like all these rocks. | ||
| I'm like, hey, man, Sugar Shane, you good? | ||
| What's up, brother? | ||
| You good? | ||
| I'm like... | ||
| Good lord. | ||
| You strong, man. | ||
| Like, why? | ||
| Right now. | ||
| And then Benoit Hopkins was there in a suit, real tailored. | ||
| I was like, hey champ, how you doing? | ||
| Hands was just stone. | ||
| Y'all, I'm good, brother. | ||
| But talking soft. | ||
| Just, hey brother, you good? | ||
| But Sugar Ray, man. | ||
| Sugar Ray. | ||
| It's Sugar Ray. | ||
| Still working out. | ||
| And he's... | ||
| Look at him. | ||
| All that hurt. | ||
| It's like at Midtown. | ||
| At Main Street Boxing Gym, right? | ||
| It's this man. | ||
| He is 79. And he comes there every day. | ||
| He cleans up in the gym. | ||
| And try it. | ||
| Try it. | ||
| Think that you're going to get a win off of him. | ||
| Hey man, let's box around. | ||
| This is going to be the worst day of your whole entire life. | ||
| He's 79? | ||
| I don't know who he used to fight. | ||
| As soon as that bell go off, it is a problem. | ||
| Like, hey man, you know I just, me and you just talked like we friends. | ||
| Like, this shit is bad. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yes! | ||
|
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Wow. | |
| And it's, man, it is a melee. | ||
| Did you see George Foreman hitting the heavy bag at 74? | ||
|
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Oh my God. | |
| Did you see that? | ||
| Yes, I saw it on the internet. | ||
| Find out. | ||
| It is insane. | ||
| Insane. | ||
|
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Do that! | |
| Insane! | ||
| And then Mike Tyson working out. | ||
| Yeah, oh my god. | ||
| Oh, it's like, man, does his trainer, does it not look like he's killing him? | ||
|
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Yes. | |
| Well, his trainer is Rafael Cordero. | ||
| He's a legendary MMA trainer. | ||
| He runs Kings MMA in California. | ||
|
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Ooh! | |
| Yeah, Rafael Cordero is the man. | ||
| It's like them blows are coming so close. | ||
| Yeah, and he's wearing a bodysuit and eating those body shots. | ||
| Fuck that. | ||
| And then also you got that just knowing Mike Tyson has boxing gloves and he's in front of you and somehow or another you're in a fucking ring with him and he's moving towards you like, what does that feel like? | ||
| But check this out. | ||
| Look at George. | ||
| And that's the big one. | ||
| Yeah, give me some volume on this because we got to hear this. | ||
|
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You still got that power? | |
| Yes. | ||
| What? | ||
| What happened to the volume? | ||
|
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I don't know. | |
| Oh, we gotta hear it. | ||
| Oh, you gotta hear it. | ||
| Oh, this doesn't mean anything. | ||
| Let's fix that. | ||
| Let's fix it. | ||
| Whatever it is. | ||
| And that's that. | ||
| I'm quite sure you have been on the biggest bag in the gym. | ||
| Yeah, that's a big-ass bag. | ||
| And that shit don't move. | ||
| Like, you... | ||
| And the bag not moving. | ||
| Jamie, what's going on? | ||
| I have no idea. | ||
| No, it's not even getting to my computer. | ||
| I'm trying to figure out why. | ||
|
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But it did before. | |
| Oh, so there's something wrong with the connection to the computer. | ||
| Here it is. | ||
| Okay, back it up. | ||
| Back it up so we can see it again. | ||
|
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|
Here it is. | |
| You still got that power, Dan? | ||
|
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Power doesn't age. | |
| Are you ready? | ||
|
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|
Let me see what you got, champ. | |
| Some's acted out. | ||
|
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|
Let's go, champ. | |
| Let's go. - Yeah, I got it. | ||
| What the heck? | ||
|
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|
Come on. | |
| Bro. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| Look at this left. | ||
| Dude, and that's one of the things that George Foreman used to practice. | ||
| Go to young George Foreman hitting the heavy bag. | ||
| George Foreman, like, he would hit the heavy bag different than a lot of people would. | ||
| One of the things that he would do is he would always just practice walloping the heavy bag. | ||
| Just stand in front of it, full blast, winging punches. | ||
| Not like setting things up, moving around. | ||
| No setup. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| All right, we're back. | ||
| See if you can find young George Foreman hitting the heavy bag. | ||
| Why did he have his face on that bag? | ||
| George coming around. | ||
|
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The other dude? | |
| Because he's never had George Foreman hit the heavy bag with him before. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| It's hard to hold the heavy bag without doing that, though. | ||
| Yeah, here it is. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| So he did a lot of this. | ||
| The volume's dead again? | ||
| Here it goes. | ||
| I got it now. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| But who hits the heavy bag like this? | ||
| He's just winging punches. | ||
| He got a hand out the way. | ||
|
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Yeah. | |
| Look at the dents. | ||
| No one ever hit it the way Foreman did. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, even the way he does it, he's just throwing power shot after power shot. | ||
| And that's just to break you. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, and not even really bending that much at the knees. | ||
| That's what's crazy. | ||
| The kind of power this dude had. | ||
|
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Look at this. | |
| I mean, this is ferocious. | ||
|
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Ferocious. | |
| When he gets his legs into it, my God. | ||
| This thing, Ali was taking it. | ||
| Took it all. | ||
| Took it all and dodged him. | ||
| I want you to pull up George Foreman knocks out Joe Frazier. | ||
| Ooh, it was crazy. | ||
| I thought Frazier was going to die. | ||
| He knocked him off his feet. | ||
| That was a crazy one. | ||
| Because that was when Joe Frazier had just beaten Muhammad Ali. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| And then you see what Foreman does to Frazier, and everybody thought that Foreman was going to crush Ali, and they were scared. | ||
| Because it was like, this is a real... | ||
| It's like this is the first super heavyweight or something. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So this is the second round. | ||
| So this is when he's already hurt, I believe. | ||
| I don't remember how many rounds it was. | ||
| Oh, they're trying to replay this. | ||
| So this was like he had hurt him the round before. | ||
| Yeah, here it is. | ||
| It was just crazy. | ||
| The power! | ||
| Even the way he's boxing, he boxes the way he hit the bag. | ||
| Look. | ||
| It's just the power is so extraordinary that if he catches you at all, he thumps you with that jab and then just swings at you. | ||
| And he hits you. | ||
| Oh, look at that uppercut. | ||
|
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Oh my God. | |
| Look at that right hand. | ||
| Oh my God. | ||
| Oh my God. | ||
| Look at that uppercut. | ||
| Oh my God. | ||
|
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Oh my god! | |
| Oh my god! | ||
| So the round ends. | ||
|
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So he gets up and he goes back to his corner. | |
| Now, this is what's amazing that they didn't stop this fight. | ||
| They didn't. | ||
| That's amazing that his corner didn't say, that's it. | ||
| That's it, champ. | ||
| That's it, champ. | ||
| Because he's a warrior and you can't let him go after it. | ||
| But this is a different time, too. | ||
| This is a different time, too. | ||
| I think today they would have stopped the fight. | ||
| Yeah, they probably would have stopped this. | ||
| I think today they would have stopped the fight. | ||
| Especially knowing this type of power that's coming. | ||
| So this is afterwards. | ||
| What's going on? | ||
| What's he warning you about? | ||
|
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|
Oh, my God. | |
| Oh my god, it's power. | ||
| Here it is. | ||
| Boom! | ||
| And see, the problem is, you can't even block that with your gloves. | ||
| No, it doesn't help. | ||
| It's too much power. | ||
| It's so much power. | ||
| And it's skillful, too. | ||
| It's like he wings those to the body, but he's also skillful with the jab. | ||
| Oh, look at that left. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Frazier couldn't even throw his. | ||
| For the fifth time he's down. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This is crazy, this fight. | |
| And he's still... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Boom, boom, boom. | |
| I mean, what a warrior Joe Frazier was. | ||
| He gone, too. | ||
| Oh, for sure, but he's still in there. | ||
| Oh, look at that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Three times. | |
| Three times. | ||
| The fight is stopped. | ||
| Oh my god, it's not stopped. | ||
| Okay, they're stopping the fight. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Crazy. | |
| It was crazy. | ||
| And Ali's sitting on the couch like, and he goes, my shot! | ||
| This is who I want to fight! | ||
| Do you know that Hunter S. Thompson flew to Africa to watch that fight and was so scared that Ali was going to get killed, and so he didn't want to see Ali get the fuck beaten out of him, so he stayed in his hotel. | ||
| He stayed in his hotel and he got drunk and he floated around in the pool, on a pool floatie. | ||
| And then afterwards he found out that Ali won. | ||
| So they'd flown him to Africa to write, to report. | ||
| Rolling Stone flew him there. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| He just completely failed. | ||
| Didn't go there at all. | ||
| He's like, no, I'm not. | ||
| He put on a Nixon mask and he was floating around on a pool. | ||
| There's like video of him doing it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Because I don't want to see his hero get killed. | |
| Everybody thought he was going to get killed. | ||
| Everybody saw that fight and they thought he was going to get killed. | ||
| They said, there's no way. | ||
| How is he going to beat him? | ||
| Oh, here we go. | ||
| But, I mean, the video's over. | ||
| Yeah, but it's cool. | ||
| But, my God, man. | ||
| That era. | ||
| That era of boxing. | ||
| The Hagler is still Hagler and Tommy Hitman Hearns. | ||
| It's like they hated. | ||
| It's like whatever went on between them. | ||
| Like, hey man, I'm not coming to box you. | ||
| I am coming to a fight with gloves on. | ||
| This is the only thing. | ||
| It's like you thought that Hagler was out of there. | ||
| And Hagler's like, nope. | ||
| Nope. | ||
| I'm going to kill him. | ||
| Do you understand? | ||
| Like, I don't care about being down. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| He didn't get knocked down. | ||
| He was, like I'm saying, behind in the fight. | ||
| He was like, I'm not concerned about none of that. | ||
| Hey man, second round, we gonna see about it. | ||
| That first round was crazy. | ||
| Crazy. | ||
| Crazy. | ||
| And Hearns broke his hand in the first round. | ||
| Crazy. | ||
| And Hearns cracked him a few times. | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| But Hagler had a legendary chin. | ||
| A legendary chin. | ||
| And that's why he hated how Ali beat him. | ||
| I mean, how Sugar Ray beat him with the pitty pat shots. | ||
| It's like, you can see him looking at him like, what the fuck are you doing with this pitty pat shit in the last 10 seconds? | ||
| Like, yo man, what the fuck is he doing? | ||
| Why does he keep massaging my arms? | ||
| Like, it was terrible. | ||
| That wasn't the best, but I do respect the fact that he left. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's like, that's it. | |
| I'm gonna go to Italy and be a movie star. | ||
| I'm done. | ||
| I'm done. | ||
| I'm done, yeah. | ||
| There's only a few guys that have ever just said, that's it, and never came back. | ||
| Did you see anybody better than Peniel Whitaker? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| No. | ||
| Never. | ||
| No, not defensively. | ||
| He was a fucking genius. | ||
| He was a genius. | ||
| He got robbed against Chavez. | ||
| Yeah, he did. | ||
| Damn sure. | ||
| If I did a movie, like, I know a movie that I want to do about me coaching girls in Summer League, but if I did a movie, I would want to play... | ||
| Penel Whitaker. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Sweet Pea is like, that's one of the most phenomenal boxers. | ||
| He was so creative. | ||
| Oh man. | ||
| He was so slick in there. | ||
| Like his movement was so like, see if you find a Penel Whitaker highlight. | ||
| He was a bummer man when he died. | ||
| His footwork was phenomenal. | ||
| Yeah, he was a part of that crew that was like Meldrick Taylor, Mark Breland. | ||
| Remember those guys? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Dude. | ||
| But he was just so slick. | ||
| Just so hard to hit. | ||
| Oh, this is him and Chavez. | ||
| Oh, the highlights are part of it. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| I mean, come on, man. | ||
| I know. | ||
| That was a real bummer, man. | ||
| That decision. | ||
| Most people disagreed with that decision. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He was so slick. | |
| And hit so hard. | ||
| Oh, so accurate, too. | ||
| Oh, look at that. | ||
| Oh, my goodness. | ||
| He was amazing. | ||
| Yeah, he was an amazing boxer. | ||
| That whole era... | ||
| Yeah, that was a lot of great fighters. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| That's amazing. | ||
| Look how slick that is. | ||
| I mean, come on, man. | ||
| Who fucking moves better than that guy? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Look at that. | |
| That's insane. | ||
| You get nothing. | ||
| And it's Oscar De La Hoya. | ||
| I mean, it's not a regular dude. | ||
| It's the fucking golden boy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Look at this. | ||
| Insane! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Insane! | |
| He literally dropped down to his butt. | ||
| I mean, he's so slick. | ||
| Like nobody else, man. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| Rolling with shots. | ||
| It's like as the shots are coming at him, I mean, amazing. | ||
| Slip, slip, and then slip, miss, then boom. | ||
| Let me give you one on the way out. | ||
| Nothing is touching him. | ||
| It's insane. | ||
| Look at him. | ||
| I mean, this is incredible. | ||
| That's how good he was, man. | ||
| He was so fucking good. | ||
| So was Magic Taylor in the early days. | ||
| Yeah, Magic Taylor. | ||
| Magic Taylor was winning against Leo Cesar Chavez until he landed one punch. | ||
| That one punch in the last round. | ||
| And then Richard Steele stops the fight with two seconds to go. | ||
| Richard Steele. | ||
| That was crazy. | ||
| It's like when the best to ever do it, you can watch Kid Dropped, Roy. | ||
| Man, he was so... | ||
| Then he started rapping. | ||
| And Roy Jones Jr. started rapping, it was over. | ||
| I was like... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Damn! | |
| I say, man, he gotta stay with boxing, man. | ||
| He start playing basketball and doing everything else. | ||
| And then he get rocked. | ||
| Yeah, well, Tarver was fucking good. | ||
| Tarver was fucking insane. | ||
| Tarver was fucking good. | ||
| Remember when Tarver talked to him right before the fight? | ||
| Got any excuses tonight, Roy? | ||
| Any excuses tonight, Roy? | ||
| Like, whoa! | ||
| Tava was a... | ||
| You seen it. | ||
| Like, it's gonna be a problem. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, it's gonna be a problem. | ||
| Tava was competitive at heavyweight. | ||
| He went all the way up to heavyweight. | ||
| Tava was a good fighter. | ||
| Very good fighter. | ||
| Very good fighter. | ||
| Very difficult to deal with. | ||
| And when he knocked out Roy, everybody was like, holy shit. | ||
| And then Glenn Johnson did it, and that was a scary one. | ||
| Remember that one? | ||
| Yeah, his mitt was up a pretty long time. | ||
| They were sweeping and everything. | ||
| Those scare me. | ||
| Those kind of scare me when someone stiffens up. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And to have it happen after the Tarver KO, those are the kinds that scare me. | ||
| Because sometimes a fighter is still recovering from the initial knockout, and they've just convinced themselves they're okay. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And they're not ready. | ||
| No, man. | ||
| You know, that's why Manny Pacquiao, after Marquez knocked him out, Freddie Roach said, I want you to take a year off. | ||
| A whole year. | ||
| You want to still work together? | ||
| I want you to take a year off. | ||
| That was a bad knockout. | ||
| That was. | ||
| That was a bad one. | ||
| That was a bad one. | ||
| Marquez is a bad man. | ||
| He's a bad man. | ||
| And shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And it looked like he was on all the good stuff for that. | |
| It looks like his piss would melt the styrofoam cup. | ||
| I want everything that I'm not supposed to be taking. | ||
| I'm ready. | ||
| If they drug tested him, it would ding like a carnival bell. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ding! | |
| Like one of them Bugs Bunny ones where he's got the big mallet. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He was working with the guy that Pacquiao used to work with. | |
| The guy that Pacquiao, the strength and conditioning guy, which is always the juice guys. | ||
| Always the juice guys. | ||
| Those are the guys. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They're 70 and they got abs. | |
| I was just eating this banana. | ||
| I didn't know what was in it. | ||
| He ate my food. | ||
| I had no idea what was in it. | ||
| Canelo said he got some tainted beef. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know, how'd you get the fucking steroids in your body? | |
| Tacos, bro. | ||
| Tainted tacos. | ||
| They just sprinkling on the tacos. | ||
| It was crazy. | ||
| Frank Mir, who was a UFC heavyweight champion. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Yeah, he was Jackson, son. | ||
| Jack City. | ||
| And that's at the weigh-ins. | ||
| And they had real weigh-ins back then. | ||
| So he looked a lot bigger the next day. | ||
| So those weigh-ins, like the UFC, we don't have real weigh-ins. | ||
| We have real weigh-ins, but when the public sees it, it's a ceremonial weigh-in. | ||
| And it's oftentimes many hours after the first weigh-in. | ||
| So what happens is they weigh in at like 8, 10 in the morning. | ||
| And then they get to rehydrate till 4 p.m. | ||
| when they get back on the scale for the ceremonial weigh-ins. | ||
| They've been drinking water and electrolytes all day and eating all day. | ||
| So they might be like 10 pounds heavier, like no bullshit by then. | ||
| And then they look good. | ||
| So Marquez on fight night though, show him Marquez versus Pacquiao. | ||
| Was it three? | ||
| It was the third one, right? | ||
| That was the last one. | ||
| On fight night. | ||
| It was four. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| It was four. | ||
| And they wanted to have a fifth one. | ||
| And Marquez was like, no, I'm good. | ||
| I got it. | ||
| I got this one. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sorry. | |
| You got me, but I got you, motherfucker. | ||
| I got you where it counts. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He was jacked, son. | |
| Yeah, man. | ||
| He was like, fucking jacked. | ||
| And he was doing a lot of crazy workouts for that fight, too. | ||
| A lot of dumbbell shit. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| Look at the fucking power behind that shot. | ||
| My God. | ||
| Look at Manny. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| Look at the power behind that shot. | ||
| Goddamn, man. | ||
| Pac-Man was getting packed. | ||
| And then when he literally like, that's it right there, Jamie. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| Yeah, that's it. | ||
| He literally ran into that shot looking to land a shot and Marquez timed it perfectly. | ||
| To watch a great like him get flatlined is always so strange. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Like, you're so used to seeing him doing that to like Ricky Hatton. | ||
| Right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| That fight? | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| Ricky Hatton got... | ||
| Oh, Ricky hadn't got it. | ||
| He got it from Pacquiao. | ||
| He got it from Pacquiao. | ||
| When he got it from Floyd, he ran into the buckle. | ||
| I'm like, man, what the hell is going on? | ||
| Floyd got him first, right? | ||
| Yeah, Floyd got him first, and then Manny leveled him. | ||
| Yeah, Manny flatlined him. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| Look at the power behind this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Watch this. | |
| Oh, my God. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| I mean, the way his head snaps back and he falls. | ||
| Look at this lady over here. | ||
| Look at her. | ||
| He's like, oh my god, he's dead. | ||
| Yeah, look at her. | ||
| Look at him. | ||
| He's like, yeah! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Viva Mexico! | |
| He has zero concern. | ||
| Look at him. | ||
| I mean Pacquiao is out cold. | ||
| Is he down? | ||
| Is he down? | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Hey! | ||
| He didn't give a shit. | ||
| I mean, that's like a gunshot wound. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Boom! | |
| I mean, it is the perfect punch. | ||
| That might be one of the great... | ||
| I mean, it is one of the greatest punches. | ||
| One-punch knockouts in the history of boxing. | ||
| With the consequences on the line, with all on the line, with these two guys being world champions... | ||
| Did the back of your show say, get cracking? | ||
| Is that what it said? | ||
| You just got fucking rocked! | ||
| You got cracked. | ||
| You got what you asked for. | ||
| That was a wild, wild fucking... | ||
| Four fights between those two guys. | ||
| Get cracking on his shorts. | ||
| He's a hell of a pool player. | ||
| He is? | ||
| Yeah, like world class. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What? | ||
| Yeah, like professional level pool player. | ||
| Legitimately. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like Minnesota Fats type? | ||
| Minnesota Fats wasn't really Minnesota Fats. | ||
| Minnesota Fats was New York Fats, and then when the movie The Hustler came out with Jackie Gleason and Paul Newman in 1963, I think? | ||
| Was it 63? | ||
| When that movie came out, the movie was so popular that New York Fats changed his name to Minnesota Fats and said the movie was all about him. | ||
| But it wasn't. | ||
| He was just a good... | ||
| His name was Rudolph Waldron. | ||
| And he was a good pool player. | ||
| But he was not at the level of, like, Willie Moscone, who was, like, the world champion at the time. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| He was just a really good talker. | ||
| He was just a smooth-talking hustler character. | ||
| Man, there's some guys that grew up in pool halls that would beg to differ if they was great. | ||
| If who was great? | ||
| Any of them guys. | ||
| There's some guys who never even got noticed. | ||
| They've just been playing in pool halls all their life. | ||
| I know them guys who talk... | ||
| I wish Minnesota Fats would come down and wear his ass out. | ||
| Well, they probably would wear Minnesota Fats out, but he would play in one pocket. | ||
| He really didn't gamble in anything other than one pocket, I think. | ||
| I'm sure he played nine ball, too, but when he would play big games against people, he liked to play in one pocket. | ||
| He could play everything, though. | ||
| He was a real professional class pool player. | ||
| He was a hustler, but Willie Moscone was the world champion. | ||
| William Moscone, his high record of running balls in a row was like 526 balls in a row. | ||
| It lasted for decades. | ||
| That's the person that's in public, John. | ||
| That's the public person. | ||
| That's not really true. | ||
| It's not really true. | ||
| Because in the pool world, everybody gets found out. | ||
| Especially today. | ||
| Because they gamble. | ||
| Because the great players, the best players, they all gamble. | ||
| You ever heard of Minnesota Red? | ||
| I'm sure there is a Minnesota Red. | ||
| Believe me, this is my world. | ||
| I literally came up in pool halls. | ||
| I know a lot about pool hustling. | ||
| This is my dad on his own stick and all this. | ||
| And you always say, man, if I don't go shoot, we don't eat, which wasn't true because he owned the company. | ||
| But he was a pool shark. | ||
| I'm sure. | ||
| I'm sure there's a lot of pool sharks. | ||
| And there's some guys out there that I used to be in the pool hall, I'm like, dang. | ||
| If they went public, like if that was, did they got into, do you think everybody makes it to? | ||
| Like it's some basketball legends that played at Rutgers, right? | ||
| In everybody's mind, you talk about Dr. J, they like, come on, man. | ||
| Willie Earle? | ||
| Willie Earle was the coder? | ||
| But only people that know about Willie Earle. | ||
| Well, there's guys like that in pool. | ||
| But here's the thing. | ||
| Everybody knows about him. | ||
| They might not be in the professional tournaments, but everybody knows about him. | ||
| They're all hustlers. | ||
| They're all gamblers. | ||
| So they all gamble. | ||
| To get that good, to get really good, you have to play for stakes. | ||
| You don't get that good playing funsies. | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| Ain't no funsies. | ||
| You gotta play for real bread. | ||
| When you play for real bread, people find out. | ||
| Because the pool wire is like the quickest wire in the country. | ||
| If someone is playing for $25,000 at hard times in Sacramento, people in New York City hear about it. | ||
| Oh, hell yeah. | ||
| Instantly. | ||
| People text each other. | ||
| There's no secrets. | ||
| If you're playing for $2,500, I'm going to hear about it. | ||
| So if guys are good, everybody knows about it. | ||
| There's local legends. | ||
| There's this guy named Justin Bergman. | ||
| He might be as good as anybody alive. | ||
| But he doesn't play in too many tournaments. | ||
| But everybody's scared to gamble with him. | ||
| He goes and gambles with world champions and robs them. | ||
| And he's like this dude who never leaves his town. | ||
| And people come to him and try to gamble with him. | ||
| It's folklore shit. | ||
| But they're all known. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Remember, what was the sitcom that somebody's son got hustled I think it was either Good Times or it was probably Good Times. | ||
| And he came down and Jane came down. | ||
| Fresh Prince. | ||
| Oh yeah, Fresh Prince. | ||
| See, don't nobody know about Phil. | ||
| Don't nobody know about Uncle Phil. | ||
| Uncle Phil come down there. | ||
| Okay, this is what y'all doing. | ||
| Y'all ain't heard about me. | ||
| This is what I used to do. | ||
| And then, so that's what I'm talking about. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But I'm telling you, in real life, unless he's playing every day, he's getting robbed. | ||
| Unless he's playing every day, it's a perishable skill. | ||
| Jeffrey, go get Lucille. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| Oh my god, he's terrible. | ||
| He's hustling. | ||
| He doesn't know anything. | ||
| Now he's pretending? | ||
| Yeah, he's pretending. | ||
| Okay, so when does he actually play? | ||
| Let me see what he actually does when he's actually playing. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Now he screws his cue together. | ||
| Alright, so now they're hustling. | ||
| Let me see. | ||
| Okay, yeah, they're not gonna show you. | ||
| See, that's the most embarrassing shit ever is when they try to get someone to pretend they can play pool and they can't really play pool. | ||
| That's why The Color of Money is so impressive. | ||
| Oh yeah, The Color of Money is impressive. | ||
| Because Tom Cruise looked like he could kind of play a little. | ||
| I mean, he didn't look really like a world champion, but he looked like he could play a little. | ||
| It looked reasonable to assume that he could play pool. | ||
| That's like with any skilled thing, like pool and any other thing. | ||
| When they have somebody acting like... | ||
| Like boxing. | ||
| Like boxing. | ||
| Like I was going to say Creed. | ||
| Like Creed. | ||
| I saw Creed. | ||
| Creed is the worst goddamn boxing movie ever. | ||
| Like, I'm like, man, Will Smith did better than Muhammad Ali than fucking Creed. | ||
| Will Smith did good in Muhammad Ali. | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| He looked good in Muhammad Ali. | ||
| But Creed, I'm like, man, if you don't get these dance steps the fuck out of here. | ||
| Like, I'm like, that is fucking terrible. | ||
| Like, this is like, you can tell they were just doing a count all the pad work. | ||
| Like, Hey, look. | ||
| One, two, three. | ||
| Turn your body. | ||
| One, two, three. | ||
| Turn your body. | ||
| Like, God. | ||
| This is so terrible. | ||
| It's so stupid. | ||
| It's so stupid. | ||
| Like, can you... | ||
| I can't particularly watch... | ||
| Like, if you watch me watch Oz or any drug-dealing movie or any doctor thing, it's the most excruciating thing happening to my face. | ||
| I'm like, that's, that, this is how I've been all done. | ||
| This is how I've been all done. | ||
| Ah, man, this is them. | ||
| They don't even go like that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like, it's like, like, I, It's terrible. | |
| I'd rather watch something else that I don't know anything about and just be intrigued. | ||
| Like, oh, maybe that could be happening. | ||
| But this, I'm like, man, what the fuck are they doing? | ||
| Whereas I would watch it and I'd be like, hmm. | ||
| I guess that's how it goes down. | ||
| And I'm sitting over there so frustrated next to you, it's whispering. | ||
| You're like, yo, that's not how I go. | ||
| Man, I'm trying to watch the movie. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yo, that's not how I actually go. | |
| Explain it to me later. | ||
| I'm enjoying this. | ||
| I'm like, I'm going to go to the lobby. | ||
| I'm going to go to the lobby because I hate this. | ||
| It's got to drive people crazy to play piano when they see someone faking it. | ||
| That's got to drive people crazy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's not even your fucking body movement! | |
| Like, none of this is your body movement! | ||
| Like, I would hate that. | ||
| Nobody plays piano anymore. | ||
| Think about that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You had Ray Charles, you had Little Richard, you had... | |
| No, no, no, no. | ||
| John Legend still played piano. | ||
| Oh, does he? | ||
| People definitely played piano. | ||
| Yeah, but not like back in the day. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Jerry Lee Lewis. | ||
| Got more instruments now. | ||
| Billy Joel. | ||
| I know, I know. | ||
| It's not a judgment. | ||
| It's not a judgment. | ||
| I'm just saying it's interesting. | ||
| There used to be so many Elton John. | ||
| There were so many piano acts. | ||
| There were these big piano acts back in the day. | ||
| I think Usher may play one or two songs in his Vegas. | ||
| I don't know, but it is people that play. | ||
| John Legend definitely plays the piano in every commercial and everything. | ||
| I'm out of the loop. | ||
| I knew what you meant, but there's also a lot of people. | ||
| There's other stuff to do. | ||
| Right, but what I'm saying is that it used to be like a viable kind of music. | ||
| Yeah, like guitar is still prevalent. | ||
| Most people still play the guitar and the drums. | ||
| Most people don't pull out. | ||
| I get what you're saying, but it is people who... | ||
| There's something super sincere about singing a song while you're playing the piano. | ||
| Like... | ||
| Goodbye, Norm and Gene. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Can I just stand there? | |
| It's very sincere. | ||
| I felt that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
you know what I mean that's very personal You know what I mean? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Like the guitar don't give you that type of feel. | ||
| Right, right, right. | ||
| They're sitting down. | ||
| They're sitting down. | ||
| It's very emotional. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| It makes you cry. | ||
| If he's just standing there... | ||
| That's what John Legend... | ||
| That's why John Legend do it. | ||
| What is his song? | ||
| Ordinary People. | ||
| I think he always leans in. | ||
| As soon as you hear it, you're like, we are just ordinary people. | ||
| John Mayer was doing something live where he was just doing a live storytelling show. | ||
| And he had a piano. | ||
| You know what's weird about this? | ||
| There's no back to that piano. | ||
| How about you face the audience, you fucking... | ||
| It's like I see his stomach before I saw the piano. | ||
| Like straighten your shirt. | ||
| If he turned his back, you would think he's faking, maybe. | ||
| Just like you were just saying. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's just moving his hands. | |
| I don't know if that's why they're sideways. | ||
| But everybody knows he's super fucking John Mayer. | ||
| He's super talented. | ||
| You would think he's taking the night off. | ||
| He's a very nice guy, too. | ||
| I think Elton John does his on like... | ||
| He kind of slightly turnt, but he's on like a platform. | ||
| You can kind of see him. | ||
| Elton John is... | ||
| He's the man. | ||
| Elton John, back in the day. | ||
| What's that song, Saturday Night? | ||
| Saturday Night's Alright for Fighting? | ||
| What is the actual name of that song? | ||
| His shit's Sideways 2. I don't understand that. | ||
| I think it must be to show that he's playing it, which makes sense, I guess. | ||
| Is Stevie Wonder Sideways 2? | ||
| Also, you get to see more of him that way. | ||
| You get to see his hands and his legs moving and everything. | ||
| It's probably better. | ||
| Because I'm thinking, like, every time I see anyone play piano, I've never seen him turn forward. | ||
| It's 100% or sideways. | ||
| Maybe because it'll just be all knees. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Knees and crotch. | ||
| You're just getting all knees and crotch. | ||
| It's kind of weird that he wears glasses. | ||
| Like, why is he wearing sunglasses? | ||
| He always does. | ||
| Isn't that odd? | ||
| I mean, he always used to wear the big crazy glasses, but that was when he was going bald. | ||
| Maybe his eye's bad now. | ||
| He's got his hair fixed. | ||
| Because he's definitely not going bald anymore. | ||
| Like a nice little lace front. | ||
| I don't know what that is, but it was pretty good. | ||
| Stevie Wonder. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't know if Stevie played. | ||
| Ray Charles never played to the side. | ||
| I mean, the front. | ||
| Either. | ||
| I think they always played that way. | ||
| I think it was probably because, you know, there are those pianos that'll play themselves. | ||
| So people probably want to see you moving around. | ||
| They want to see you actually doing it. | ||
| See if you can find... | ||
| That's what people don't play no more, the harmonica. | ||
| So here he's sitting behind keyboards. | ||
| Is he facing the crowd? | ||
| I can't tell. | ||
| Yeah, looks like he is there. | ||
| Okay, he's facing the crowd. | ||
| I think he got keyboards and then he turns to the piano. | ||
| What about, try to find Ray Charles. | ||
| How did Ray Charles do it? | ||
| Because Ray Charles didn't even know, he only knew by sound where they even were. | ||
| When you have... | ||
| Yeah, he's sideways. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's sideways, too. | ||
| I guess they all do it that way. | ||
| Makes sense. | ||
| Here, no, I guess maybe a better answer is that when you open the piano up, that's where the sound comes out. | ||
| Oh, because it goes like this. | ||
| Oh, that makes sense. | ||
| And then maybe it's just traditional that they all just do it that way. | ||
| Oh, that's that top thing. | ||
| So that top acts as like sound bounces off of it. | ||
| If you point the sound the other way, it's going to be not a good concert. | ||
| Oh, that's pretty badass. | ||
| That's probably most of the reason why. | ||
| Oh, that makes sense. | ||
| That's pretty cool that they designed the top like that. | ||
| It's like a sideways harp, an enclosed harp. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
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Okay. | |
| But these pianos don't do that, so that kind of defeats us. | ||
| Alright, I gotta wrap this up. | ||
| Tell everybody the names of your specials, where they can get them. | ||
| Domino Effect, Domino Effect 2, Lost. | ||
| They can go right on to my website, AliSadiq.com. | ||
| It's AliSadiqComedy on Instagram, is that what it is? | ||
| What are you on Instagram? | ||
| No, Ali Sadiq on Instagram. | ||
| What is Ali Sadiq comedy? | ||
| What's that? | ||
| Oh, that's the YouTube. | ||
| Oh, your YouTube. | ||
| That's my YouTube. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| Yeah, Ali Sadiq comedy is my YouTube. | ||
| Oh, because it says at Ali Sadiq. | ||
| That's why I was confused. | ||
| So it's Ali Sadiq Instagram, Ali Sadiq Twitter, AliSadiq.com. | ||
| On Twitter it's Ali underscore speaks on Twitter. | ||
| But this loss is on YouTube. | ||
| You can go straight to YouTube and watch it for free or you can go to the website and watch it for free. | ||
| You know, it's the actions. | ||
| And it's all available. | ||
| It's all available right now. | ||
| Ladies and gentlemen, Ali Sadiq. | ||
| Thank you, brother. | ||
| Appreciate it. | ||
| It was a lot of fun. | ||
|
unidentified
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Thank you. | |
| All right. |
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