April 28, 2023 - The Joe Rogan Experience
02:33:25
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unidentified
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Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out! | |
| The Joe Rogan Experience Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day! | ||
| Hello, Joe Rogan It's good to see you It's good to see you too. | ||
| What's happening? | ||
| Life. | ||
| Life is good. | ||
| I moved back to Atlanta. | ||
| My husband retired. | ||
| I'm having fun. | ||
| I'm getting ready to move into my first theater tour called Your Girl Done Made It. | ||
| That's beautiful. | ||
| Life is beautiful. | ||
| That's exciting. | ||
| How's your show doing? | ||
| My show is doing great. | ||
| We just wrapped it. | ||
| Well, the third season just came out in February. | ||
| Got some big news coming. | ||
| You know, see what the fourth season got to give. | ||
| You know, it's going great. | ||
| It's a funny fucking show. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| People are loving it. | ||
| It's a real sitcom, you know, and there's not a lot of those anymore. | ||
| It's not. | ||
| It's not. | ||
| And that's, you know, we was nominated for an Emmy. | ||
| Nice. | ||
| First time for BET or BET Plus. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yes, yes, yes. | ||
| The director got nominated for such a great episode. | ||
| And so we can repeat this year. | ||
| Who's that gentleman that you brought with me last time? | ||
| Your executive producer? | ||
| Yeah, he created a show with me, Jordan Cooper. | ||
| Jordan Cooper is a genius. | ||
| That young man. | ||
| How old is he? | ||
| I think he's 27 now. | ||
| That's insane. | ||
| I've never met anybody who knows more about TV. When he was telling us about the history of how Lucy and Desi Arnaz controlled that show and how they took it and took it on tour and then made it into a television show. | ||
| I didn't know all that shit. | ||
| He loves TV. We just, we did a whole Lucy and Ethel, me and Tammy Roman, because people love us together. | ||
| He brought her into, you know, he casted her before he dang near casted me. | ||
| And he put us together and he said, I'm telling you, y'all gonna be like Lucy and Ethel. | ||
| And that's what the world think we are now. | ||
| And they love us together. | ||
| Shout out to Tammy Roman. | ||
| Shout out to Tammy Roman. | ||
| I'm so glad your show has caught steam because that genre for comedians is kind of a dying genre. | ||
| You don't really see sitcoms much anymore. | ||
| Not with comedians. | ||
| Thank God I had a million and one stories. | ||
| You know, thank God that, you know, we on BET Plus because they let us push the envelope. | ||
| They don't, you know, they don't want to wrap it up in a bowl. | ||
| They let us wrap it up the Ms. Padway. | ||
| So we talked about everything the last three seasons from, you know, from me having a gay daughter, the gay experience, you know, being in jail, being a teenage mama, hating my mother, being molested. | ||
| We just did a... | ||
| Black hair. | ||
| We just did an episode on me being molested by my mama's boyfriend, which was very funny, but also very touching. | ||
| And I did the episode to let people know that you can't change the past. | ||
| All you can do is look for what's in front of you. | ||
| So don't whine about it. | ||
| Find a way to laugh about it. | ||
| And it was a very serious episode that hit home for a lot of the people who watched the Miss Pat show, but they was able to laugh at it. | ||
| That's a complicated subject to try to make funny. | ||
| I try to make everything funny, Joe. | ||
| I know you do. | ||
| No, I tell people, it's my story. | ||
| So I got the right to react to it the way I want to. | ||
| I could be somewhere crying. | ||
| For what? | ||
| I found the funny, and we wrote it into an episode. | ||
| And people was like, thank you, Miss Pat. | ||
| You make me realize that I don't have to cry about what happened to me 10 years ago or 20 years ago. | ||
| Forgive them and move the hell on. | ||
| My mama's boyfriend is dead. | ||
| Other people who molest me is dead. | ||
| Hey, look at me now. | ||
| Even my kid's father, I talked about him many times to you. | ||
| I mean, he working at Jiffy Lube's and he done had like four heart attacks. | ||
| I wish him well. | ||
| I'm okay. | ||
| And that's what it's all about. | ||
| It's about me. | ||
| That's a great attitude to have to go through life, because you really can't change the past. | ||
| No, you cannot. | ||
| But I can control what's happening to me now. | ||
| What I love about your show is your show is doing things that some of the great old sitcoms did. | ||
| People thought that that multi-camera shoot We're doing it in front of a live audience. | ||
| People thought you weren't doing that anymore, which is kind of crazy because that used to be the thing that everybody wanted to do. | ||
| You know, all the way back to, you know, before Seinfeld, Sanford and Son, I mean, all in the family. | ||
| They did all those shows with an audience. | ||
| Well, they went to canned laughter, you know, which was much easier. | ||
| You know, if you ain't wrote nothing that's not funny and you ain't got nobody sitting there, you can just drop in the laughter. | ||
| What shows used only canned? | ||
| I think, you know, I saw a clip of the Big Bang Theory, and it was a Big Bang Theory, but without the laughs. | ||
| Like, they removed the laughs so you could see, like, what the show actually is. | ||
| And, like, why are people laughing at this? | ||
| This is strange. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't know if that was a retake, because you know how it is. | ||
| Sometimes you have to do retakes, and sometimes you do them when the crowd's not there. | ||
| Well, last time I talked about Big Bang Theory, I got in trouble from little white girls. | ||
| So they was down my throat. | ||
| They were sending me death threats like they were all going to clone themselves together and whoop my ass, because I didn't recognize the star of the Big Bang Theory. | ||
| I mean, I've never watched The Big Bang Theory, but I'm quite sure a lot of sitcoms taped that way without a lot of studio audience. | ||
| And you can even look at sitcoms now who do use canned laughter. | ||
| The laughter is when they're going up the steps or when they're combing their hair. | ||
| You'll be like, who the fuck edited this shit? | ||
| This ain't right. | ||
| This ain't funny. | ||
| They're just trying to make it too funny. | ||
| With us, he wanted that Lucy feel. | ||
| He wanted the old school feel. | ||
| And we taped in front of a live studio audience in Atlanta, Joe, had never been done, for a sitcom, a multicam. | ||
| So when we got there, the camera people had never did it before in Atlanta. | ||
| So it was a teaching moment for first season. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| So now they got the hookup. | ||
| That means, you know, everybody know what they're doing. | ||
| Now we're turning away audience members. | ||
| The third season, we was turning people away. | ||
| That's great. | ||
| So they're loving it. | ||
| And it's like a party. | ||
| It's like a family reunion. | ||
| People come from everywhere to come to see Ms. Pat's show in Atlanta. | ||
| Well, what he did, what everyone did, is capture the essence of your stand-up and of you on podcasts. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Like, why people love you. | ||
| And to put that into a sitcom and not make it corny, like, I told you last time I saw it, well, before I saw it, I was like, I was skeptical. | ||
| I love you. | ||
| I think you're hilarious. | ||
| The last thing I want to see is you in some mediocre version of the Miss Pat life. | ||
| But they nailed it. | ||
| That's hard to do. | ||
| It's very complicated. | ||
| Because you're telling a story, you have all these characters interacting with each other, and you've got to wrap it up within a certain time frame. | ||
| Because of streaming, do you have a specific number of minutes you have to do, or do you have more flexibility? | ||
| A little bit. | ||
| They might give you 33, but no more than 35. They be screaming, cut it! | ||
| And Joy be saying, no, you're going to mess up the whole part of the show. | ||
| Don't cut it. | ||
| So we fight a lot about a little longer episodes, and BET is pretty much open-minded with it. | ||
| I mean, if we ask them, if we beg them not to cut it because it's going to mess it up, sometimes they'll let it go. | ||
| But the good part about it, they'll move it over to linear, and then, you know, they'll cut a lot of stuff out. | ||
| And I'll be like, hey, y'all, the show is a lot better if you just go back over to BET+. Yeah. | ||
| That sucks that they have to do it that way because that has to be 22 minutes. | ||
| Is that what it is? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And they take the monologue out. | ||
| And I hated the monologue. | ||
| And people love the monologue. | ||
| And the monologue is kind of like when Seinfeld did a joke up front. | ||
| But mine is more where I tell you how I'm feeling and what you about to get in the show. | ||
| So every episode. | ||
| And I hated them because I had to learn them like I had to learn the strip. | ||
| And sometime the day before... | ||
| But you just hate them because they're hard to do. | ||
| But do you love the final product, like how it looks on the show? | ||
| I do love the final product. | ||
| And, you know, I have a lot of control with this show. | ||
| So I'm thankful for that. | ||
| That's amazing. | ||
| Because I've heard horror stories where you don't get a lot of control. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, and they'll have people writing you the way that you're not. | ||
| But it's so foolish, too, because of the person like you. | ||
| It's so clear that you know what you're doing. | ||
| Like, you've been doing it a long time. | ||
| Just let her do it in the sense of a sitcom. | ||
| Just get the pieces in play. | ||
| And that's what I always tell them. | ||
| I say, you know, one thing I know, Joe, is I know funny. | ||
| I know me and I know the type of funny that I'm trying to put out. | ||
| And that's all I ask them, to move out the way and give me the space. | ||
| You know, I don't want to explain every joke to you. | ||
| It might not be for you. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So, you know, that's one of the reasons why I'm really glad we at BET Plus, too, because we can be black as hell. | ||
| I'm not in a room with a whole bunch of white execs who's scared to say nappy. | ||
| Are you allowed to swear? | ||
| Can you say basically anything you want? | ||
| We say everything. | ||
| Bitch, ho, motherfucker, nigga. | ||
| We say everything. | ||
| We talk like Miss Pat talk for real. | ||
| Like families talk for real. | ||
| Now, I will say this. | ||
| Black folks do come out and say, she don't represent the black family. | ||
| No, I don't represent you. | ||
| I represent me. | ||
| I'm not out here trying to recreate your family. | ||
| What I did was put my family on TV. And if your family can relate or if you can relate, then come on and get on this train, baby. | ||
| Who couldn't relate? | ||
|
unidentified
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You guys do an amazing job of setting it up. | |
| It's a great show. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| It really is. | ||
| It's not a black show. | ||
| It's a show that relates to everybody. | ||
| I have people from all walks of life walk up to me, tell me, I download BET Plus just for you. | ||
| I believe that. | ||
| It's a very unique show. | ||
| And it is. | ||
| I mean, it's about the experience that I went through in life that relates to everybody. | ||
| And it's the coolest thing when I see an old white dude and a young, hip, black dude. | ||
| They ain't got shit in common, but they both like Miss Pat. | ||
| And when I go to the club and I perform, they'll both come up and say, I love your show. | ||
| And that's what I know. | ||
| I said, oh, this shit ain't black. | ||
| This shit for everybody. | ||
| Yeah, that's beautiful. | ||
| I love when old ladies come up to me at like an airport and told me they love the podcast. | ||
| Like old ladies. | ||
| I had these old ladies. | ||
| They were like in their 80s, man. | ||
| You'd be surprised. | ||
| Young white guys have a thing for me. | ||
| I don't know if they want a nanny or some old black pussy. | ||
| I don't know what they want, Joe. | ||
| Maybe both. | ||
| Maybe both at the same time. | ||
| They don't want mine. | ||
| I don't shave on a regular, but hey. | ||
| I can't get into this new bald head vagina shit, Joe. | ||
|
unidentified
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No? | |
| No, I ain't got time about that shit. | ||
| I got a garage on top of my vagina. | ||
| I ain't got time to put in that shit back once a week to catch no hell. | ||
| It's crazy how the pubic hair thing just vanished. | ||
| Everybody used to have pubic hair. | ||
| You watch the old porns. | ||
| For all of history, people had pubic hair. | ||
| But back in the day, it made you look like you had a fat cat. | ||
| A fat pussy. | ||
| You put your underwear on your thick down there. | ||
| Now you put your underwear on this thick into the vagina. | ||
| I'm like, weird men get into bald head pussy. | ||
| It is weird because I experienced it through high school. | ||
| When I was in high school, that's when porn first came out. | ||
| When I was in high school was the first time VHS tapes came out, so people could rent porn. | ||
| And that's when the pubic hair thing changed. | ||
| It changed first in porn, and it changed in everybody else. | ||
| Well, I think what the problem was is when we have such beautiful black It froze down there, so you couldn't get the whole vision. | ||
| So some white man went down there and got vagina hair stuck in his throat, which I call nappy grip. | ||
| He thought the pussy was going to kill him, so it was a new rule. | ||
| All pussies must be shaved. | ||
| That's just my thought, y'all. | ||
| I don't know how true that is. | ||
| I dated this girl in high school, and she was kind of wild. | ||
| And she was dating this guy, and she broke up with the guy, and her and I hooked up, and she goes, I'm embarrassed. | ||
| I can't let you see me. | ||
| I go, why? | ||
| She goes, he made me shave my pussy. | ||
| And I just started laughing. | ||
| It was the funniest thing to me. | ||
| When I was like 16 years old, it was hilarious that someone was ashamed that they had a shaved pussy. | ||
| I only do it when they get caught in the side of my underwear. | ||
| I've been with the same man 31 years. | ||
| He didn't give a fucking mind, fall off and be on my kneecap. | ||
| Baby, did you cook today? | ||
| Or have you ordered Uber Eats? | ||
|
unidentified
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Or what show you want to watch? | |
| That's why I don't cheat. | ||
| I keep the same one I got, so I ain't got to get no new rules. | ||
| No new problems. | ||
| No new problems. | ||
| Some people love problems. | ||
| Some people do love problems. | ||
| I don't like problems. | ||
| I'm not a fan. | ||
| I just ask people to leave me the fuck alone, Joe. | ||
| Let me be mean. | ||
| You know, people always say, well, what do you think about the council culture? | ||
| I say, shit, American Express been counseling me. | ||
| The rest of you motherfuckers don't matter. | ||
| They don't lower my limits. | ||
| So, hey, it is what it is. | ||
| Do you think that a show like yours, it's like in this day and age, it seems so hard to put one of those things together. | ||
| It used to be every night on all the major networks, it was mostly sitcoms. | ||
| It was Friends and Seinfeld and I was on one news radio. | ||
| There was all these shows, Wings. | ||
| There was all these shows and there's fucking none of them now. | ||
| There's so few. | ||
| So when I see a show like yours come around and do it in a new way, successfully, and really get you, I'm like, this can be done. | ||
| This can be done. | ||
| And no comics are, like, trying to get sitcoms anymore. | ||
| It used to be, when I was in the 90s, when I was out here, there was pilot season, and everybody was just scrambling to get a sitcom. | ||
| It was like the holy grails. | ||
| We were all out here for the lottery. | ||
| Everybody was ready. | ||
| We'd come out here for pilot season. | ||
| Everybody would go to Hollywood. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Now no one knows. | ||
| It's fucking gone. | ||
| Well, you don't need it anymore. | ||
| You have stuff like podcasts. | ||
| You can create your own stuff with no rules that will blow you the fuck up. | ||
| But... | ||
| When I see someone doing something like you're doing, I go, there's still room for that funny sitcom. | ||
| It can still be done. | ||
| It's still a great thing to watch. | ||
| One of the things that I tell you that I ran into with building a sitcom is like writers. | ||
| So you deal with the writers that have been in Hollywood so long and they're stuck in this box. | ||
| I literally had writers say, they're never going to let you do that. | ||
| And I'm like, they're going to let me do me. | ||
| They hired me. | ||
| You knew what the fuck you was getting when you gave me that first deposit. | ||
| And I told you, I ain't get hit with no pie and I ain't chasing no dick like they say fat girls do. | ||
| I've been having six since sixth grade. | ||
| Two things I told Hollywood. | ||
| You can never give me as much money as I can steal from you. | ||
| Now let's make this show. | ||
| So, a lot of... | ||
| I think a lot of writers are just stuck inside the box and they just recycle the same fucking joke. | ||
| If I heard it, I don't want it. | ||
| If it's close to what I've heard before in the barber shop on another show, I'd be like, get that shit out of here. | ||
| Let's go back to the drawing board. | ||
| And that's one of the things we write on the floor, a joke. | ||
| I'd be like, I heard that shit. | ||
| I'm a comedian. | ||
| You can't give me nothing that ain't heard. | ||
| I don't heard it from the white side to the black side to any other side because I play both sides of the ring. | ||
| So you can't pull that shit off on me. | ||
| And a lot of times I'm like, no, I'm not doing that wacky shit. | ||
| We ain't doing that. | ||
| I think a lot of them lose their passion. | ||
| You know, I think they do it so long and it becomes a job like they're a plumber now or they're just, you know, hanging wallboard. | ||
| They're just doing a job. | ||
| And Hollywood would drain you, too. | ||
| All those no's, and you have people up there that are making decisions that don't know shit about, really don't know shit about TV, some of them. | ||
| What is that movie that came out? | ||
| A crazy-ass movie with the, he was like a superhero. | ||
| And that movie, it was on the shelf for a couple years. | ||
| Was Ben Affleck in it? | ||
| What movie? | ||
| He had on a mask. | ||
| It's a crazy-ass movie. | ||
| It was a hit. | ||
| And I think they're making a third one. | ||
| Not Deadpool. | ||
| Deadpool. | ||
| Deadpool. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Well, you know, Deadpool. | ||
|
unidentified
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Ryan Reynolds. | |
| Because I got my white guys mixed up. | ||
| I'm sorry. | ||
| I get him mixed up with the other Ryan. | ||
| What's the other one? | ||
| Gosling. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I never know who the fuck's who. | ||
| That guy who wrote that, I heard he said no many times. | ||
| And when somebody finally said, yeah, it was a fucking hit. | ||
| It was a fucking hit. | ||
| So just think about how that guy, the writer heard that first no, and he threw his shit in the trash can. | ||
| Look what he would have thrown away. | ||
| So that tells you somebody didn't know what the fuck they was doing. | ||
| Well, a lot of these executives, they don't create. | ||
| So they're not really artists, but yet they're in control of what gets created. | ||
| And the problem with that is they start to think of themselves like artists. | ||
| They start to think that they're smart and they know the system. | ||
| They buy what they like, not what the people like. | ||
| Well, they just think they know what they're doing. | ||
| But I feel like it's like, and certain writers I feel like this way too, especially comedy writers. | ||
| I feel like if you're not doing stand-up, Your sense of what is actually funny and not actually funny is just not that good. | ||
| Sometimes they're hilarious, sometimes they're perfect, and sometimes it just misses. | ||
| And I think where a comic would go like, that one, you can't do that one. | ||
| That one's not gonna fly. | ||
| But a writer would be like, I think this will work. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And you're like, no, no, no, this is definitely not gonna work. | ||
| Shit ain't funny. | ||
| This is not funny to me. | ||
| It's not funny. | ||
| This is like, it doesn't work. | ||
| It doesn't work in my head. | ||
| I can't imagine that this is funny. | ||
| Well, it's a lot of that. | ||
| And it's a lot of not that. | ||
| You can't be honest. | ||
| Like, you know, I went in, I think I told you this last time, the first time I had a right run, I was like, that shit whack. | ||
| That shit horrible. | ||
| They was like, you can't say that? | ||
| I'm like, I can't tell a motherfucker when they ain't funny? | ||
| So, when it's coming, you be like, that motherfucker suck, right, Joe? | ||
| But no, I had to go to counselor and say, can we try again? | ||
| Is there a better way? | ||
| They counseled you? | ||
| Yes! | ||
| They got me a whole person to reprogram me. | ||
| To say, I had to say a corporate rate. | ||
| I couldn't say, you know, that shit booty. | ||
| It's garbage. | ||
| You know, kill yourself. | ||
| That's what we say is coming. | ||
| Yeah, you have to be able to say that. | ||
| That shit sucks. | ||
| Yeah, you can't say that when you're in the writer room. | ||
| And I had to tell one writer, I said, stop fucking laughing at yourself. | ||
| Only you think this shit is funny. | ||
| Nobody else think this shit is funny but you. | ||
| And then you say, he'll be cracking up. | ||
| And then the person he brought with him be cracking up. | ||
| And I'm like, y'all literally sucking at each other's dick. | ||
| Stop laughing. | ||
| That's that fake producer laugh. | ||
| When you do a run-through and they know the jokes, they're like... | ||
| They have a fake laugh. | ||
| It's so distracting. | ||
| I tell you, so when I was shooting my sitcom, somebody else was shooting the sitcom, so we would go watch. | ||
| And this is when I learned that they hire laughers. | ||
| So all of these people sitting over in the bench, me and Jordan over there, we looking around. | ||
| And so at a certain point, they all start laughing. | ||
| I said, this shit don't sound right. | ||
| Why they in sync? | ||
| Why they laughing like a group? | ||
| And so, somebody on the set said, oh, those are hard laughers. | ||
| I was like, what? | ||
| Those are higher laughers. | ||
| Then the producer was laughing. | ||
| I said, one thing we're not going to do, Jordan. | ||
| We're going to have no motherfucking higher laughters. | ||
| We're not going to do that. | ||
| If they don't laugh, then we're going to go back and rewrite. | ||
| So shooting a pilot in L.A. taught me a lot. | ||
| I was so glad we could move that show to Atlanta because Atlanta going to let you know. | ||
| Black folk ain't going to fucking spend their money on those chicken and wings and not fucking get no good laugh. | ||
| They'll throw that shit at you. | ||
| Black folk going to let you know. | ||
| That shit ain't funny, Pat. | ||
| White people are nice. | ||
| At least you tried. | ||
| Paid laughter. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| Yeah, they have paid laughter. | ||
| That's so confusing. | ||
| Very. | ||
| I guess that makes sense, though, with a lot of sitcoms. | ||
| Because some of them, it just doesn't make sense. | ||
| I'm like, I don't understand what everyone's laughing at. | ||
| It's like they just keep you just slack-jawed, just paying attention. | ||
| Just enough. | ||
| Just enough to get you through the commercial. | ||
| Just to keep you on. | ||
| That's all they have to do. | ||
| I mean, it's all they're doing is just trying to keep you there. | ||
| Sell advertisement. | ||
| That's what they're trying to do. | ||
| If you can get you through to the Tide commercial, you might like the Tide commercial better. | ||
| We'll sell you some Prozac. | ||
|
unidentified
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I mean, that's what it is. | |
| They're just biding time. | ||
| I don't watch a lot of TV. I'm busy these days, but I do watch The Blacklist. | ||
| That's about it. | ||
| Which one's The Blacklist? | ||
| NBC. What is it? | ||
| James Spader? | ||
| Oh, that's that one. | ||
| That shit's been on forever. | ||
| Nine seasons. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| I like Handmaid's Tale, too. | ||
| That's a good show? | ||
| The Blacklist is a good show? | ||
| Yeah, very. | ||
| Really? | ||
| It's a very good show. | ||
| I love that. | ||
| I like Handmaid's Tale, too, on Hulu. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| I couldn't watch that. | ||
| That bothered me. | ||
| Why? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It reminds me of the Republican Party trying to lock the pussy down. | ||
| I say, this is what we're heading to, ladies. | ||
| They're trying to control our cliques. | ||
| What do you think that's about? | ||
| These little political moves. | ||
| I think there's always more to it when people do things like try to ban abortion or try to do something to incite people in one way or another. | ||
| I feel like more of it is just to keep us out of each other's throats than it is anything. | ||
| I think if you let America vote, way more people are going to vote that women should have the right to choose. | ||
| This is my pussy. | ||
| Way more. | ||
| This is my pussy. | ||
| And I say this all the time. | ||
| What's like the national, do they have a polling, like an estimation of how people feel about a woman's right to choose? | ||
| Women feel like you can't tell us what to do, Joe. | ||
| If I want to stick firecrackers in it and blow it up, it ain't your business. | ||
| I'm not telling you not to smoke your joint, so why are you going to tell me what to do? | ||
| And I know that your viewers are going to say, oh, it's not the fucking thing. | ||
| It's my body. | ||
| I've had an abortion. | ||
| I've had a few. | ||
| It's my choice. | ||
| You can't tell people what they can and can't do. | ||
| They don't ever do anything to control y'all dicks, Joe. | ||
| They don't tell y'all y'all can't get circumcised. | ||
| They don't do none of that good stuff. | ||
| 61% of Americans say abortion should be legal. | ||
| That's kind of interesting, because I thought it would be higher. | ||
| I thought it would be like 70%. | ||
| And if you don't have a womb, you shouldn't be voting. | ||
| Yeah, it gets to be a religious thing. | ||
| It's a very religious thing. | ||
| This guy that I had on was telling me that he believes it's at the moment of conception. | ||
| So you're saying that if someone gets raped, and they get pregnant, and it's conception, the moment of conception has arrived, and you give them a morning-after pill, you think that's wrong. | ||
| You think that child should carry this rapist baby. | ||
| If you could stop it right after conception. | ||
| We're not talking about a nine-month-old fetus. | ||
| We're talking about the very moment. | ||
| Nope, two wrongs don't make a right. | ||
| This is crazy talk. | ||
| You're going to ruin a child's life because they've been... | ||
|
unidentified
|
I mean, the whole thing is just maddening. | |
| But it's one of those things where it gets to be late-term abortions. | ||
| You're like, Jesus Christ, what is that? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That freaks me out. | ||
| Now, I can't see nobody killing a baby six, seven, eight months. | ||
| That's a damn baby. | ||
| Yeah, I knew a dude in New York and his girlfriend had a late-term abortion. | ||
| They were fighting over it. | ||
| She wanted to have the baby, and he didn't. | ||
| And it was pretty late. | ||
| She was showing. | ||
| And I don't know how they did it. | ||
| I don't know what the story was, but it was weird. | ||
| It was like, that's kind of killing a baby. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It is. | ||
| It is. | ||
| I mean, but so is you shooting off in a sock. | ||
| No, it's not. | ||
| No, shooting off in a sock is just getting rid of loads. | ||
| If you heated it up, it would grow into something. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, it doesn't. | |
| If it had an egg to connect. | ||
| Yeah, but it doesn't. | ||
| How many of those babies shout out your balls trying to make it and then you put in a fucking sock instead of a wound? | ||
| Well, I'm not really a sock guy, but... | ||
| Well, let me guess. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You put it in your weed, you roll it in a glove, you know where the fuck you put your sperm at, Joe. | |
| I hope at this age you ain't shooting, no. | ||
| You got a wife. | ||
| But hey, some days you don't want to do the hard work, leaving the bitch's legs. | ||
| I know when my husband smiled, I said, did you have fun by yourself? | ||
| He's like, I didn't have to hold up your big ass legs today. | ||
| Oh, Jesus Christ. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| Yeah, it's, I mean, it's not, it's not a thing that you, if you make it like a national mandate, like that you can't do, or a national law that you can't do it, people are just going to find other ways to get abortions. | ||
| They're going to do it illegally. | ||
| You're going to create You're gonna create criminals out of people that just want control of their body. | ||
| But the thing that drives me crazy about these issues is it seems like there's certain things like gay marriage is one of them. | ||
| That's another one. | ||
| It's almost like people want people to fight over these things. | ||
| Because people are so opposed to it one way or another and they never get resolved. | ||
| Gay marriage has been bouncing around since I was a kid. | ||
| I remember when I lived in San Francisco, we lived in a gay neighborhood. | ||
| Who cares? | ||
| Back then, it was like, and I was like, well, hopefully they'll sort this out. | ||
| They're never going to sort it out. | ||
| It's 2023! | ||
| Now with these Jesus freaks. | ||
| There's still people that say that they should stop gay marriage. | ||
| I think people should mind their fucking business. | ||
| If you don't mind your fucking business and worry about your own relationship, this will be a better country. | ||
| If you stop worrying about gay people doing anything, I guarantee you gay people is having way more fun than straight people. | ||
| So you stop being jealous because you're miserable. | ||
| Your husband's dick don't work or your dick don't work or you got to go to church every day and you got to continue to bake pies that you don't want to bake. | ||
| Mind your fucking business and we will be happy. | ||
| My daughter is gay. | ||
| I don't give a fuck about these hoes. | ||
| She be fucking Joe. | ||
| Isn't it always men that worry about gay men too? | ||
| Yeah, because they dig that. | ||
| And then they ended up being gay. | ||
| They ended up being gay. | ||
| You catch them somewhere at a fucking house picking up little boys and shit. | ||
| But wait a minute, Congressman, wasn't you just fighting to say you can't be doing this shit? | ||
| But you're in the bathroom tapping your feet in Atlanta, huh? | ||
| Yeah, how many women are out there trying to stop gay marriage? | ||
| None. | ||
| They don't give a fuck. | ||
| Because you know why? | ||
| Because who can please us better? | ||
| Women know what women want. | ||
| Men know what men want. | ||
| That's why they get with each other. | ||
| So leave people the fuck alone. | ||
| Leave people the fuck alone. | ||
| I guarantee you my daughter can eat pussy better than you, Joe Rogan. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Strong statement. | ||
| I'll have to take you on your word. | ||
| She probably knows some things I don't know. | ||
| I guarantee you she do. | ||
| She keeps her dick in her purse, and she do what she do. | ||
| I believe it. | ||
| Yeah, so, you know. | ||
| What infuriates me is this idea that people are not supposed to be gay. | ||
| Like, clearly, they're just gay. | ||
| No, nah, they're born. | ||
| They're born that way. | ||
| I have a gay daughter. | ||
| Um... | ||
| And I knew when my daughter was real young that she had some gay tendencies. | ||
| I told you this story before. | ||
| My mother-in-law said, this girl, you need to pray over her. | ||
| She got some... | ||
| She gay. | ||
| And I was like, mind your fucking business, old ho. | ||
| My daughter... | ||
| My daughter was like, five, you gonna put that spirit on? | ||
| But she told me my daughter, she said she had a click-licking spirit at five. | ||
|
unidentified
|
A click-licking spirit? | |
| I told you this before. | ||
| But I'm funny, that's a spirit. | ||
| Yeah, it was a spirit. | ||
| And she still have it to this day. | ||
| And my mother-in-law was right. | ||
| And I truly do believe that people are born gay. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| And people should mind your fucking business. | ||
| They should embrace those people. | ||
| Let them be free. | ||
| It doesn't make any sense to me. | ||
| I just don't understand it and it infuriates me because it's just it's one of the stupidest things to care about Someone's sexual orientation or any other aspect of them that they can't control like leaving the fuck alone It's usually people who dicks don't work anymore or who miserable in a relationship whose shit ain't going right in their lives And it's a lot of people that want people to follow rules. | ||
| They want people to follow very certain rules. | ||
| And if they can attach those rules to God, then it makes them very righteous in their enforcement of those rules. | ||
| And then the same people you see in hell while you're on your way to heaven. | ||
| Go to hell! | ||
| That's what I say. | ||
| Get the fuck out of my face with that. | ||
| People be like, oh my God, you curse too much. | ||
| I say, well, turn the channel, bitch. | ||
| Turn the channel, because I'm going to curse. | ||
| I hear you. | ||
| I saw a lady today say, this is a good show, but you use in words too much. | ||
| I say, well, turn the fucking channel. | ||
| You know, there's other shit out there you can watch. | ||
| Don't come to my page. | ||
| When you come to my page talking to me, I tell them, bitch, I'm not Beyonce. | ||
| She don't got time for you, but I do. | ||
| I'm going to spell everything wrong, give the phone to my assistant so she can correct it and put the peers and the question marks in the right place, and they're going to tear your ass up. | ||
| Don't come fucking with me. | ||
| You get after it with people in the comments? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| What, Joe? | ||
| Don't fuck with me. | ||
| That was like, you fat. | ||
| I said, I can lose this weight, but can you lose your fucking ugly face? | ||
| Kiss my ass from the back. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| That's what I tell them. | ||
| That's not wasted energy? | ||
| Some days. | ||
| If I'm laying in bed doing nothing and my titties just resting, I'll cuss your ass out. | ||
| If I'm busy... | ||
| Some people get really locked into those social media comments. | ||
| You know, I used to, because, you know, when I first started, you want people to like what you do, then I just took on my street, man, tell, fuck you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck you. | |
| You talking, you know, everybody, are you obesity? | ||
| Because I got money and I can eat, bitch. | ||
| You eat lettuce, because that's all you can afford to do. | ||
| Your motherfucking apricot, whatever the fuck that up you is. | ||
| Apricot-eating motherfucker. | ||
| I can cuss good, Joe. | ||
| I tell them all the time, leave me the fuck alone. | ||
| And they don't come at me. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| I have such a great fan base. | ||
| They're called the Miss Pat Crack Babies. | ||
| And we have a Facebook page on Facebook. | ||
| And when I tell you they ride or die, Joe, there's a bunch of white women that are ready to write a letter to the Congress for Miss Pat. | ||
| You come fucking with me, them soccer moms put down them pies and they'll tear your asshole up. | ||
| Shout out to the Crack Babies. | ||
| You were telling me that somebody used that Crack Baby form as like a scam. | ||
| Oh, yeah, Jo. | ||
| So, I don't go in it a lot because I've been busy. | ||
| So, my beautician, the girl who does my house, she was like, I think you need to take a look at this. | ||
| So, I kind of found out one of the fans was telling the other fans, let's do something nice for Ms. Pat. | ||
| So, I started this party in Atlanta called the Ms. Pat Crack Baby or the Ms. Pat Fan Celebration just to give back because I love my fans because there's some ride or die ones out there. | ||
| And right now, I can do it. | ||
| I know you can't do it. | ||
| But I could do it. | ||
| So I threw a party for them in Atlanta, invited 600 people down VIP. All you had to do was get there and I took care of you. | ||
| And it was a great celebration. | ||
| So I invited the wrong person and they decided to say, let's do something good for Ms. Pat. | ||
| Let's buy a Gucci purse. | ||
| Let's do this. | ||
| And just was taking all the fans money. | ||
| I didn't even notice. | ||
| When I finally noticed, she was a couple thousand dollars in. | ||
| And I was like, you bitch. | ||
| One lady sent me some lotion. | ||
| The bitch kept the lotion, Joe. | ||
| She done even sent me the lotion. | ||
| So we kicked out the group. | ||
| And I asked her what she did with the money. | ||
| I use it for myself. | ||
| Get your silly ass out my group. | ||
| So I threw her out. | ||
| I use it for myself? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| I told you the truth, at least. | ||
| Yeah, she told me the truth. | ||
| And then this lady, this same fan was coming to three and four shows, following me all around, calling me mama. | ||
| You know, I'm like, bitch, I'm not your mama. | ||
| Your dog skinned it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
But... | |
| Hold on, they're going to tear my ass up for that. | ||
| Oh my God. | ||
| You got a stalker. | ||
| Oh, I did have a stalker. | ||
| That lady sounds like a stalker. | ||
| She was, but I also had another one that was a gay man that I had to tell. | ||
| I'm gonna call the fucking police on you. | ||
| First of all, you a gay man, so what the fuck are we gonna do? | ||
| Play Uno? | ||
| You ain't even trying to clam through my wound and get none. | ||
| You just, I love you, Ms. Pat. | ||
| I say, I'm telling you now. | ||
| Call my fucking phone again, and I'm calling the police. | ||
| Yeah, you don't even know how you got your number, right? | ||
| I don't know how you got my number. | ||
| People, they can get your number. | ||
| But I used to wonder why everybody keep changing their phone numbers, but I'm joining that bandwagon. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And I changed my fucking number. | ||
| I got five phone numbers. | ||
| You do? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| I know, Joe, because I be texting sometimes. | ||
| It takes you six months to text. | ||
| I was like, God damn. | ||
| Some phones I don't check. | ||
| You should have my real phone. | ||
| I do have your real phone. | ||
| When I'm calling Bert Kreish, I don't even call him. | ||
| I just call his wife. | ||
| Can you tell Bert I said this? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Bert's another one. | ||
| He's got to change his phone, too. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Just after a while, it's like, I'll do a podcast and I'll pick up my phone afterwards. | ||
| 148 text messages. | ||
| Like, what am I going to do with these? | ||
| Where the fuck they come from? | ||
| Everybody. | ||
| Just so many people. | ||
| I just know so many people. | ||
| It's like you know so many people, and it's just like you get overwhelmed. | ||
| Unfortunately, a bunch of them are, hey, I got this guy. | ||
| I'd like you to do something with him. | ||
| Or, hey, this guy wants to do business with you. | ||
| Or, hey, this... | ||
| You see, Joe, you're bigger than me, so I don't have no problem. | ||
| I just say, hey, I saw you on a Rogan. | ||
| Can you borrow $50? | ||
| Well, those are bad, too. | ||
| Well, they don't go above $200. | ||
| So I just act like, delete, delete, delete. | ||
| I can't loan money. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, you're not loaning it. | ||
| I can't give money. | ||
| Yeah, you have to give it. | ||
| I'm not Fannie Mae. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, I can't do it. | ||
| I tell my family. | ||
| I don't have it. | ||
| The frustrating one is when people want you to invest in their business. | ||
| They have this long pitch. | ||
| I'm like, I don't have any time. | ||
| You know what I say? | ||
| Get to the fucking point. | ||
| Go to the bank, too. | ||
| Get to the fucking point. | ||
| Now, what do you want me to do? | ||
| No. | ||
| Because I'm not going to listen to all this. | ||
| Because I'm from the streets. | ||
| And I already know when you're doing a lot of fucking talking, you're about to steal something. | ||
| You gotta set them up. | ||
| First, here's the story. | ||
| Then you gotta make them comfortable. | ||
| Then you take their money. | ||
| So I stop them right there before the conference. | ||
| Shut the fuck up and tell me what this is about. | ||
| I ain't interested in that move the fuck on. | ||
| I'm not investing in your business. | ||
| I don't give a fuck if you got the first sock that blow up. | ||
| I don't give a fuck about your first sock that blow up. | ||
| You better take your ass to Shark Tank. | ||
| I don't give a fuck about your new condom that talk. | ||
| I don't care. | ||
| Yeah, they want to get into business with Miss Pat. | ||
| I don't have those problems yet. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You're gonna. | |
| You're gonna. | ||
| I have them on small scales, but I just keep strolling. | ||
| Yeah, you gotta keep strolling. | ||
| You gotta keep moving. | ||
| I get a lot of crazy emails and, oh, we should do this. | ||
| No, we shouldn't. | ||
| No, we shouldn't. | ||
| I tell too many jokes for this money. | ||
| And see, I'm the type of person, Joe, I'm gonna whoop your ass, you take my money. | ||
| You gonna see me on TMZ with my wig on the ground, one titty, hanging out, hitting them off. | ||
| I can't lose no money in that place. | ||
| It's alright. | ||
| I'm gonna feel whatever I lose. | ||
| Yeah, when I see people getting scammed, it's like so many people get scammed. | ||
| Like so many people you find their business managers stealing from them and their assistants stealing from them. | ||
| You can't steal from me. | ||
| I check all my accounts by myself and my checks come to me. | ||
| I don't trust nobody. | ||
| I don't need you to pay me. | ||
| You work for me. | ||
| You need me to pay you. | ||
| If I forget to pay you, forgive me. | ||
| Remind me and I go back and look. | ||
| I have somebody. | ||
| I check behind every motherfucker. | ||
| I told my husband, my husband went out one day, Joe, because he retired. | ||
| Motherfucker went out and bought three Cane Corso dogs. | ||
| Three. | ||
| Them motherfuckers are huge. | ||
| Those are huge dogs. | ||
| I said, why the fuck? | ||
| He let this man say him three Cane Corsos dogs. | ||
| I said, why, Garrett? | ||
| Why? | ||
| And these motherfuckers, they whine all the time. | ||
| I think one of them got sleep apnea. | ||
| He sleep on his back. | ||
| The other one got ADHD. How old are these dogs now? | ||
| They're like seven months, but they're like fucking horses. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Let me tell you something about those dogs. | ||
| They need to be trained. | ||
| Let me tell you, Joe. | ||
| We got them in training. | ||
| They have to be really trained. | ||
| Those are like real working dogs. | ||
| Yeah, my motherfucking nerves. | ||
| Those motherfuckers are smart. | ||
| They are? | ||
| Those are smart dogs. | ||
| My dumbest fuck. | ||
| Those are smart dogs, and they like to fuck people up. | ||
| Those dogs like to fuck people up. | ||
| I got one that's so motherfucking crazy. | ||
| They're named Sheba, Zeus, and Conright. | ||
| Sheba's in training right now, because she's the one that leads the pack. | ||
| That's the one I like, because she ain't that big. | ||
| The other motherfucker, I'm in the kitchen the other day. | ||
| We got them in cages because I'm building the house. | ||
| He kicked his motherfucking cage door. | ||
| I said, oh no, you about to get in handcuffed, motherfucker. | ||
| Those dogs get big. | ||
| Oh, they too big for their cage and my house ain't done. | ||
| They're so strong, too. | ||
| But that's what I'm saying. | ||
| You have to have control over those dogs. | ||
| Well, we got them in training. | ||
| We got one of them in training. | ||
| The other one get ready to leave next week. | ||
| The other one bit the other one on the leg, so he hopping. | ||
| They so, oh my God, Jake. | ||
| Yeah, my friend had to put one of his down recently. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Why? | |
| Because it bit him. | ||
| Bit his hand, fucked his hand up, been growling at his family. | ||
| Like, they decide they're the boss. | ||
| It's a different kind of dog. | ||
| They're big fucking dogs. | ||
| I mean, you can get different ones with different temperament, and you certainly can get ones that are calm. | ||
| Wasn't that the dog? | ||
| Who was the actor? | ||
| The dude who was in Pulp Fiction. | ||
| Played Marcellus Wally, what? | ||
| Ving Rhames. | ||
| Didn't Ving Rhames have, wasn't it Kanye Corsos that killed some dude? | ||
| Like some dude entered into his yard. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think he was like a delivery guy or something. | ||
| And these Kanye Corsos tore him apart. | ||
| I think it was Kanye Corsos. | ||
| But they're a very effective attack dog. | ||
| No? | ||
| Something else? | ||
| One says Mastiff, but I mean it is a Mastiff, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I thought it was... | ||
| Does it say that dog? | ||
| I'm looking for a good description. | ||
| A lot of dogs would do it if you jumped the wrong fence. | ||
| Well, that's why I got them. | ||
| Keep motherfuckers away. | ||
| It'll work for that. | ||
| But those dogs, that's like a serious dog. | ||
| Well, I built a doghouse 600 square feet for them. | ||
| You got a good yard? | ||
| I bought 10 acres. | ||
| I mean, I'm sorry, I bought 7 acres. | ||
| Oh, nice. | ||
| We just moved back to Atlanta. | ||
| Those dogs need exercise. | ||
| It's like an athlete. | ||
| It's like you have an elite athlete that lives in your house. | ||
| You have three of them now. | ||
| I have three of them. | ||
| So they have to be worked out. | ||
| If they don't get worked out, their balls are filled with testosterone. | ||
| You're just like, fucking go! | ||
| I want to fucking go! | ||
| If someone hops that fence, that's a mispat lawsuit waiting to happen. | ||
| They ain't my lawsuit. | ||
| They ain't my motherfucking dog. | ||
| They're my humming dog. | ||
| Your husband's going to sue you. | ||
| It's going to get ugly. | ||
| Well, we're enjoying it. | ||
| The kids love them. | ||
| Oh, yeah, they're great. | ||
| They're puppies now, though. | ||
| No, they're big, Joe. | ||
| I know, but they're still six months old. | ||
| Yeah, they're about six, seven months old. | ||
| When they get to be like two years old, that's a terrifying animal. | ||
| That's a muscular, it's just an attack machine. | ||
| I mean, that's essentially what they're bred for. | ||
| Yeah, English Bulldog and three Bull Mastiffs. | ||
| Okay, different Mastiffs. | ||
| Oh, they were big ones. | ||
| Two weighing, 200 pounds. | ||
| This is the one who killed the delivery driver? | ||
| The coroner said the bites didn't kill him, so he died from a medical emergency of some kind. | ||
| Probably had a fucking heart attack. | ||
| You gotta blame him on the dogs. | ||
| He got attacked by a dog! | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| My husband said it was for protection, so we're gonna see. | ||
| Well, they're good protection dogs. | ||
| They cost a lot, too. | ||
| They're a responsibility. | ||
| Like, they got health care. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, because I do a radio show. | ||
| I do a morning show with Big Tigger and Atlanta V103. How do you like doing that? | ||
| I like doing it. | ||
| You know, I didn't know what to expect, you know, getting up that early in the morning. | ||
| Does that fuck with your stand-up? | ||
| No. | ||
| No? | ||
| No, it's in the country. | ||
| You're not going to fuck with my stand-up, because that's what I own. | ||
| No, but I mean getting up in the morning. | ||
| No, no, no, no, no, no. | ||
| I'm an early morning person anyway. | ||
| You know, no matter where I'm at in the world, I would call my husband at four o'clock when he was working at General Motors, and I had to talk to him all the way to work. | ||
| So now I get on this fucking nerve because he retired, but I still call him at four o'clock in the morning. | ||
| And he don't want to say fuck off because he retired and I'm out there working. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| But when I'm home, we be like, don't you want to go to the radio today? | ||
| So I know he's trying to fucking get rid of me. | ||
| But I'm having a blast at V103 in Atlanta. | ||
| You know, I'm a co-host, so it's different. | ||
| It's different. | ||
| I'm just trying shit. | ||
| So I've been there now almost two years. | ||
| Um, is there any problems with language? | ||
| Yeah, you can't curse, is it? | ||
| Yeah, you can't curse. | ||
| Does that fuck with you, though? | ||
| No. | ||
| I only curse when you pay me to. | ||
| I wish you cursed, though. | ||
| I just wanted you to be free. | ||
| That's what I worry about you on, like, a radio show. | ||
| Well, it's a morning show. | ||
| I mean, you know, who knows? | ||
| XM might come knocking. | ||
| You know, the thing that I really want to do, I'm a DIY type person, so I love DIY. So that's what I really want to do. | ||
| You want to do like a do-it-yourself show? | ||
| Yes, I do. | ||
| I'm like, what kind of things? | ||
| Houses. | ||
| Building houses? | ||
| I'm building a house now. | ||
| All by myself. | ||
| Well, I didn't do it all by myself, but I'm the GC. You're a general contractor? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| That's awesome. | ||
| That's an undertaking. | ||
| That's a lot of work, right? | ||
| It is. | ||
| A lot of organization. | ||
| It is. | ||
| What I did is I bought seven acres and I wanted a big house, but I didn't want no big mortgage because you don't know when this shit goes. | ||
| You don't know what's going to happen. | ||
| You say the wrong thing and you can't pay your bills in two days. | ||
| So I said, well, I've got to keep my mortgage at a certain amount so I can go to Walmart if this shit don't work out. | ||
| So I bought a house, I tore it down, I hired an architect, and it's 17,000 square feet. | ||
| And I built my own little podcast studio so I can get my podcast right. | ||
| And I built a 13 bedroom house for me and my family. | ||
| Look at that! | ||
| What is this like for your husband, who knew you before this success? | ||
| Is it wild for him? | ||
| I think it is. | ||
| I think it is. | ||
| Because, you know, my husband spent 22 years at General Motors. | ||
| And for me, I was at General Motors, too. | ||
| And for me to quit and say, hey, is there something in his comedy? | ||
| He's like, oh, fuck, Pat. | ||
| Can you just keep a job? | ||
| And when I tell him, I said, you know, in the beginning, you didn't believe in me. | ||
| He said, you tell him a damn lie. | ||
| I said, uh-uh. | ||
| He said, nobody's going to listen to the fucking chicken house jokes you got. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But he's very supportive. | ||
| He takes care of the home. | ||
| He don't come see me a lot, but in the beginning, Joe, it was his credit card and his paycheck that allowed me to go out and make $100 a night. | ||
| So many times I maxed out that man's credit card. | ||
| So many times I fucked up his credit. | ||
| But it's my dream. | ||
| He should have been left behind. | ||
| But for you to make that dream while you had a husband and a family and children, it's so difficult to do when you're a 21-year-old kid just going to open mic nights. | ||
| For you to be able to do that and to chase it down and make it successful, that's a real American success story. | ||
| Because it's a hard thing to do while you have a family. | ||
| To just get out to the clubs every night? | ||
| Because you've got to start at open mic nights. | ||
| You've got to get that stage time. | ||
| You know, it's sacrifice. | ||
| I sacrifice a lot. | ||
| And so did my family. | ||
| You know, one thing my daughter, because I have custody of my niece's four kids now. | ||
| I've had them for 10 years. | ||
| And my career started to get a little bit of buzz while I was in Indiana. | ||
| And my daughter was going to go to Howard University, which is an HBCU. But she instead was like, I'm not going to leave my father here with these four kids that, you know, Because my niece left them. | ||
| She was on drugs. | ||
| So she chose to go to Indiana State. | ||
| And so sacrifices like that went all through my family. | ||
| My son decided to go to college locally because he didn't want to leave my husband there with all the kids. | ||
| You know, at the time the baby was 15 months old when the mama left. | ||
| She's nine now. | ||
| She's ten now. | ||
| So, you know, I just thank my family for even being there and my husband for putting up with bullshit. | ||
| He's like, that's all you made was $50, $200, $300. | ||
| The plane ticket was $600. | ||
| Well, I made $400 of all dollars back. | ||
| Pat, you're losing. | ||
| I said, but it's something here. | ||
| You just got to be patient. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| When did he come around? | ||
| When did he realize? | ||
| I'll tell you when he realized. | ||
| When Cat Williams, the first time Cat Williams called me to go on his tour, and he said, well, this bitch might be funny. | ||
| How did Cat Williams see you? | ||
| He was at an agency. | ||
| I can't remember the agency, but this guy called and said, I had just signed with that agent, and he was looking for a black woman, and I sent over a little clip, and they picked me. | ||
| I was blown away. | ||
| I was like, I'm on tour with Cat William. | ||
| I might have made it. | ||
| So what year was this? | ||
| When he did the tape, Cat Apostolos. | ||
| Right after all of that other stuff, when he was like at the height. | ||
| So I did the next DVD called Cat Apostolos. | ||
| I don't remember what year. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Early 2006, maybe 2007. When he was doing the Pimp Chronicles. | |
| It was at the Pimp Chronicles. | ||
| That Cat Williams, he's one of the best comics ever. | ||
| Yes, he is. | ||
| The nicest. | ||
| During that time period, especially when he was hot, when he was coming out hot. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| That New Year's show they did with Steve Harvey. | ||
| Did you ever see that show where he went on after Steve Harvey and shit all over him? | ||
| He mimics him sliding across the floor and kicking him in the balls. | ||
| He goes, I'm a little motherfucker. | ||
| I fight dirty. | ||
| Crazy shit. | ||
| He was funny, man. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| He still is. | ||
| Very funny. | ||
| But when he came out, he was so unique. | ||
| His delivery method is so unique. | ||
| The way he dresses and... | ||
| Nobody was doing what Cat William does. | ||
| Now everybody's trying to do. | ||
| Yeah, but that's really him. | ||
| That is really him. | ||
| Very intelligent. | ||
| I'm quite sure you've talked to him. | ||
| I was like, God damn, this man's smart. | ||
| There's a couple things that I took from him. | ||
| I saw an interview from him once, and one of the things that he said, he said, I never eat before a show. | ||
| He goes, you never want to have a show with a full stomach. | ||
| Why? | ||
| Because it takes away resources. | ||
| Because if your body's digesting food, you have less energy. | ||
| It's just that's real. | ||
| That's like fighters. | ||
| Fighters don't go into the ring with a full stomach. | ||
| No wonder I'm sleeping at 8 o'clock. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| So I was like, that's smart. | ||
| Because sometimes I'm just hungry and I eat. | ||
| But now I'm like, no, I need a lot of time to digest food. | ||
| And then he also said he has a music playlist. | ||
| That he listens to before shows. | ||
| That it just gets in the mood. | ||
| I go, that's smart. | ||
| Because a lot of times I want to hear music, but I don't. | ||
| I haven't brought anything with me. | ||
| And then when I started doing shows with Chappelle, Dave always brings his music. | ||
| He always brings like a... | ||
| Black comedians always have music. | ||
| Big Bluetooth. | ||
| He has these big JBL boombox Bluetooth. | ||
| These fucking... | ||
| They look like cannons. | ||
| He takes those, we had two of them, and he would sync them up, put them on either side of the room, and they sync together. | ||
| I was like, that's the way to do it. | ||
| So I took that from him, too. | ||
| Because he had an approach to how he'd prepare for a show. | ||
| He's like, I'll have one drink, I'll get loosened up, I'll have this playlist I listen to. | ||
| But I thought about it after listening to that interview. | ||
| I'm like, I don't have a thought process behind preparing for a show. | ||
| And now I do. | ||
| Now I have a playlist we listen to in the green room before the show. | ||
| What you listen to? | ||
| Oh, everything. | ||
| I got a lot of 90s hip-hop in there. | ||
| For some reason, angry 90s cool G rap gets me going before a show. | ||
| A lot of Wu-Tang's in there, a lot of classic rock, Peter Frampton's in there, some ACDC in there, some country music in there. | ||
| It's all mixed up. | ||
| I got Liz Phair in there, some Johnny Cash in there. | ||
| I listen to Lotto, the rapper Lotto. | ||
| It's Given. | ||
| That's what I come out to. | ||
| Oh, nice. | ||
| She really gets me in the mood. | ||
| And I like Carly B. Carly B always get me in the mood. | ||
| So them two is probably who I got in my ear. | ||
| If I want to be laid back, I put on a little Beyonce, a little Fantasia, but mostly Carly B and Lotto if I'm about to go on stage. | ||
| Yeah, you want something that gets you going. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And they really get you going. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They get me going, even if I'm on a treadmill. | ||
| There it is. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's what I come out to. | |
| I come out to her every fucking night. | ||
| I can walk by that girl and not know who the fuck she is. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| Working at the radio station and got me into, like, hip-hop and listening to, you know, new artists. | ||
| And I'm like, oh, I like that shit. | ||
| Who is this? | ||
| So I discover her working at V103 and I'm like, okay. | ||
| They be like, my kids be like, mama... | ||
| I don't give a fuck. | ||
| I just found her this week. | ||
| I like her. | ||
| I'm way behind the times. | ||
| I have to learn from my kids what's in. | ||
| Like, what's famous, what's funny, what's good. | ||
| I don't think kids know good shit like we used to know good shit. | ||
| It's a different world. | ||
| Well, one of my kids does. | ||
| One of my kids is into, like, older music. | ||
| She's in Nirvana right now. | ||
| She gets some of these kicks of, like, older music. | ||
| My daughter Gariana is into everything. | ||
| She know everything going on in the world, all types of music, no matter where it came from, how it was made. | ||
| She know every fucking thing. | ||
| If I want to know something, I'll be like, Gariana, tell mama this right here. | ||
| See, the thing is, most people, where are they getting their music from? | ||
| Are they getting it from Spotify recommends or Apple Music recommends? | ||
| Because the amount of people that are getting their music from the radio is less than probably ever before. | ||
| Probably just hip shit. | ||
| YouTube, probably just hip shit that comes out all the time. | ||
| Every time somebody drop an album, if... | ||
| One thing about this avarism shit or whatever you call it, once you do one music, it's just gonna keep on flooding your... | ||
| Today, I looked at one motivational speech. | ||
| 12,000 of... | ||
| I'm like, y'all, I'm not fucking depressed. | ||
| Can y'all stop sending me this shit? | ||
| Your algorithm? | ||
| Algorithm, yeah, that's what I'm trying to say. | ||
| Just cheering you up. | ||
| Oh, don't commit suicide. | ||
| I was like, what the fuck is going on? | ||
| iPhone, stop listening to me. | ||
| I wasn't thinking of suicide. | ||
| I was just looking at a motivational fucking thing, and I got like 1,200 of them. | ||
| Because every time I stroll, it's motivational, motivational. | ||
| You can do it. | ||
| I'm like, get the... | ||
| I say, phone, leave me the fuck alone. | ||
| This should be a way that you could talk to the algorithm and go, that's enough. | ||
| It should be, but... | ||
| Not for the motivation. | ||
| It was just too much today. | ||
| I'm like, yeah, I'm going to see Joe Rogan. | ||
| He about to smoke weed, a good conversation. | ||
| I don't need this bullshit in my life. | ||
| The motivational things on YouTube and on Instagram, it's weird that there's such a market for that. | ||
| And they all say the same shit. | ||
| They say the shit your mom and daddy said, but you'd rather go buy it on an album. | ||
| It's the same shit they say at church. | ||
| It's the same shit your school teacher tried to tell you. | ||
| It's just in a different voice. | ||
| High voice, low voice, screaming at you, shaking at you. | ||
| It's the same shit. | ||
| I think what really works is people. | ||
| I don't think the motivational stuff works as much as people that are, like, motivational people. | ||
| I think that's the real... | ||
| Like, you can get a little bit out of words. | ||
| You can get a little bit out of a video or a little bit out of, like, a little clip or something. | ||
| But, like, David Goggins. | ||
| Like, someone like him. | ||
| Like, just his... | ||
| You know who he is? | ||
| No. | ||
| He's a Navy SEAL who's run, like, some insane amount of ultra-marathons. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| He's just known for being this, like, insanely tough endurance athlete. | ||
| Like, he's got no knees. | ||
| His knees are destroyed. | ||
| The cartilage is all fucked up in his knees, and he still runs on them. | ||
| The doctor looked at his knee and said, I don't understand how you can walk on this knee. | ||
| Forget about run thousands of miles. | ||
| Like, his knee was, like, distorting because the bone was growing, because it was bone on bone for so long. | ||
| My husband was No cartilage, no meniscus, just pounding bone on bone every day. | ||
| Just dealing with pain. | ||
| And when that fucking dude talks, you listen. | ||
| And when people listen to that guy talk, and he talks about overcoming your demons, when he talks about forcing your body to do what your mind wants it to do, that shit works. | ||
| That kind of motivation, when you see a person like that, you want to go out and do something extraordinary. | ||
| You want to go out and... | ||
| You got energy. | ||
| People give you energy. | ||
| But most of those little motivational clips, it's just noise. | ||
| Yeah, I think the things that people do in life, when people feel like you overcame something and they're going through, because I get that all the time. | ||
| Oh, my God, you're such an inspiration. | ||
| I'm like, uh... | ||
| I used to say, how? | ||
| I used to say, how? | ||
| How am I an inspiration, y'all? | ||
| I didn't look at my life at the time the way other people saw me. | ||
| You know, it was just where I came from. | ||
| I mean, it was life. | ||
| I didn't know the world was different until I got into comedy game and everybody started to say, what? | ||
| You overcame that? | ||
| I'm like, you didn't go through that shit? | ||
| Then I realized the world. | ||
| Everybody didn't experience what I experienced. | ||
| But where I was from, it was the norm. | ||
| So now when I tell my story, everybody's like, oh my God, you're such an inspiration. | ||
| And at first I was like, no, I'm just somebody who went through some shit. | ||
| But then I realized there's a lot of people out there that need me to tell my story. | ||
| And it's healing for them to see me win because it let them know that they can win. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| And to see you laugh about it. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| That you're so resilient. | ||
| That gives people hope. | ||
| So that kind of motivation works. | ||
| Like someone can see what you've accomplished with your life. | ||
| And for people who don't know your story, your story is fucking crazy. | ||
| I mean, it's so crazy from the time you were young, from like, what year were you pregnant? | ||
| How old were you the first time? | ||
| I got pregnant at 13. I met at 12. He was 22. I was 12. He was married. | ||
| I got pregnant at 13. Gave birth at 14. Then had another baby at 15. Then got pregnant again at 16. And a caseworker showed me how to get an abortion. | ||
| Think about all that and then you combine it with selling crack. | ||
| You combine it with being shot. | ||
| You combine it with all those things. | ||
| The idea that it would lead you to 2023 with your own sitcom, building a 17,000 square foot house on a giant plot of land, making your own podcast studio on it. | ||
| You're the one who handles all the bills. | ||
| You take care of everything. | ||
| Everything has to go through you. | ||
| You're the boss lady. | ||
| That's wild! | ||
| That's an amazing inspiration story. | ||
| Because you were in a terrible place. | ||
| If you think about a child, like someone getting pregnant at 13 years old, say, what chance does that child have for a happy, healthy, successful life? | ||
| It's very, very, very low. | ||
| So for you to get through all that, and to maintain your family, and to have developed a successful career, this is amazing. | ||
| It's an amazing inspirational story. | ||
| That's way better than some bullshit that some fucking con man is just saying on Instagram. | ||
| Well, I mean, it is amazing. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| You know, I also had something to live for. | ||
| I had two kids by the time I was 15. I didn't want them to go through what I went through. | ||
| I've said this a million times. | ||
| And it was the first time I ever felt like I was loved. | ||
| So to have that love for my daughter, my very first child, that I'd never experienced in a household before, you know, it gave me hope. | ||
| I didn't know I was going to end up with all of this in the future. | ||
| All I ever wanted, Joe, was a family. | ||
| Fuck everything else. | ||
| All I wanted was a family. | ||
| And I got it. | ||
| Nothing else meant anything to me. | ||
| The materialistic shit, the fame, all I ever wanted to do was open that door, walk in the house to people that loves me. | ||
| That's beautiful. | ||
| And I do walk, I do go home. | ||
| Even with the kids that I'm raising that my niece left, I get home, oh, mama's home! | ||
| And I get your goddamn hands off me! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ha ha ha! | |
| My husband's like, she's back! | ||
| But I know they love me. | ||
| And they love me. | ||
| It's nothing fake. | ||
| I can walk into that house, drop my wig on the floor. | ||
| I don't have to be Miss Pat. | ||
| Even my daughter who hardly comes downstairs, Garyana. | ||
| She'll look over the balance and be like, alright, mama, you're back. | ||
| Love you. | ||
| Go back in the room. | ||
| I don't see her for fucking weeks. | ||
| You know, that's what I tell you. | ||
| Stay upstairs all the time. | ||
| If you don't get no man, I'm going to take a pussy and use it. | ||
| Because mine be leaking like a 64 Chevy. | ||
| I'm like, give me your pussy. | ||
| You're going to keep it upstairs all the time, warm. | ||
| Give it to me so I can use it. | ||
| The beautiful thing is a family is all you wanted and you have that. | ||
| But then the other things that you're doing, I know that's for you, like your career and everything, but it's also... | ||
| For everyone else. | ||
| Like, you're doing this, you provide happiness to so many people. | ||
| Like, that is an extended family in a lot of ways. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It is. | |
| My fans are an extended family. | ||
| And, you know, it's so many times I look at my inbox and people that I don't even know who genuinely say they're proud of me. | ||
| Even my kids, you know, like when the show was nominated for an Emmy, and my daughter writes on the show. | ||
| She writes on the show. | ||
| She literally had tears on her eyes because she know I dropped out of school in the 8th grade. | ||
| She know what I've been through. | ||
| And she told me when I was going to the Emmys, she said, I'm so proud of you. | ||
| And it wasn't even about winning. | ||
| I didn't win. | ||
| Ted Lasso won. | ||
| What such a great show. | ||
| I told my husband, that's why I couldn't fucking win no Emmy because you're always watching Ted Lasso. | ||
| He's like, that's a good fucking show. | ||
| But they were so proud to see, you know, something they mama had created, you know, got nominated for an Emmy. | ||
| And even the fans, you know, I remember after I didn't win, I didn't even feel no way. | ||
| I didn't go there to win. | ||
| I went there to say, to just look around and say, oh, this is what this shit is like. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| You know, it wasn't even about the win. | ||
| I had already won. | ||
| Just by being there? | ||
| By being alive, I've already won with all the bullshit I've been through in life. | ||
| Can't no trophy that you stick on no dresser to catch dust ever make me feel the way I feel about just surviving the shit that I've been through in life. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I call them dust collectors. | ||
| Well, I'm glad you got nominated, but those things don't mean anything to me. | ||
| No. | ||
| This show is a people channel. | ||
| Emin doesn't keep this show on BET+. The people keep this show on BET+. And as long as I will make it for them, as long as they'll watch it. | ||
| Yeah, being in the Emmys or even winning an Emmy would get you a little more attention. | ||
| That's okay. | ||
| I don't care about no awards. | ||
| You know how many times I lost a spelling bee in school? | ||
|
unidentified
|
How many times? | |
| Shit, I can't spell off shit now. | ||
| Every time I went off, I remember back in the... | ||
| I'm 51, so back in the day... | ||
| Thank God they don't do this shit anymore. | ||
| But they had an A and B group and a C and D group in the Elves. | ||
| So the smart kids and the dumb kids. | ||
| The classroom was divided like that. | ||
| They didn't have, like, special classes for people like us. | ||
| And I used to see all the people in the A group, Joe. | ||
| And I wanted to be in that A group so bad. | ||
| And I'll never forget the book was Impression and Encore. | ||
| Those are the kids that could read. | ||
| And, you know, those were the smart kids. | ||
| I said, I want to be in this group. | ||
| I want to be in this group. | ||
| Because that's how I am. | ||
| I want to be number one. | ||
| And one day I get in the class. | ||
| I get in the teacher. | ||
| I was like, please let me just try. | ||
| Let me just try. | ||
| Now I'm in the CD group. | ||
| Dumb as fuck. | ||
| And I begged the teacher. | ||
| She finally put me in a group. | ||
| Couldn't read what shit. | ||
| I look at her. | ||
| Everybody stared at me like, what the fuck are you doing in this group? | ||
| And I remember the teacher said, at least you try. | ||
| And I said, if I don't do shit, I'm going to get in this group. | ||
| Never got in it because, you know... | ||
| Back in those days, that's just how they divided you. | ||
| But it was a teacher that came along. | ||
| I've told this story a hundred times. | ||
| It's true. | ||
| Who taught me how to read. | ||
| And who believed in me. | ||
| And I'm 51 and she's dead and gone and I thank her each and every day for instilling things in me that my mother could never instill in me. | ||
| It's great if you can get a good teacher. | ||
| There's a lot of them out there. | ||
| I have a few good teachers that I remember that inspired me. | ||
| And you know what's so crazy with the shit going on in this world with these teachers? | ||
| How you let these kids disrespect them and all of this bullshit going on in these schools. | ||
| Just disrespect. | ||
| Look at the girl who broke the teacher leg. | ||
| Look at the teacher who just got to fight. | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| To me, that should hold parents accountable. | ||
| Because I'm here to tell you, if my child ever tried that shit, I would beat the black off Raymond. | ||
| I'm not going to side with you up there disrespecting no adult. | ||
| And that's how I used to be. | ||
| When I was coming up, everybody whooped your ass in the neighborhood. | ||
| Now these kids are like, oh my God, you got to respect me. | ||
| Bitch, you don't even pay no bills. | ||
| What the fuck am I respecting for somebody who don't even know how to pay a bill? | ||
| These kids so dumb, they don't even know how to fill out a check, Joe. | ||
| They don't even have checks no more for you to fill out. | ||
| I think my husband got the last book of checks in this world. | ||
| Yeah, they do it all electronically now, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| So why am I respecting you when you don't pay for shit? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Huh? | |
| Kids, there's a different feeling that kids have today. | ||
| No, there's a different feeling that society gave kids. | ||
| If you're being abused, what's abuse? | ||
| I tell you. | ||
| So here, I got these custody kids, and they called me, the teacher called me, and I said, well, I'm going to beat her ass. | ||
| So the person said, you got to hear it on my house. | ||
| Bitch, you don't tell me where to hear that. | ||
| Two hours later, D-Fact was at my house. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Went to the school, talked to my kids, and the lady showed up, and she was like, the black lady knew who I was. | ||
| She said, well, I gotta investigate. | ||
| I said, no, you ain't gotta do a motherfucking thing. | ||
| You come get these motherfucking children that nobody give me nothing for. | ||
| I'm gonna whoop these motherfucking ass over here. | ||
| If you don't want their ass whooped, get them up out here, because I'm gonna tell you right now, ain't nobody shooting me. | ||
| Ain't nobody whooping my motherfucking ass. | ||
| Fuck that put you in the corner, and we gonna pray about your behavior. | ||
| I'm gonna knock your goddamn head off. | ||
| I'm old school and I don't give a fuck what you say. | ||
| Ain't nobody. | ||
| I have a 36-year-old daughter. | ||
| I have a 35-year-old son. | ||
| A 24-year-old. | ||
| You're not cursing in front of me. | ||
| You're not disrespecting me. | ||
| We're not getting high together. | ||
| I'm not your motherfucking friend. | ||
| Because I went through too much in my life to be letting you motherfuckers talk to me. | ||
| I was telling my daughter, she said ass. | ||
| I said, bitch, don't say ass in front of me. | ||
| Don't say that shit in front of me. | ||
| Why mama ass is cursing? | ||
| She can't cuss at all in front of you? | ||
| No, I don't play that shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| As much as you cuss? | ||
| Yeah! | ||
| They can cuss among themselves. | ||
| So you can cuss in front of them? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But they can't cuss in front of you? | ||
| No, Joe. | ||
| Hell no! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Black kids don't- At a certain age, can they cuss them for you? | |
| Hell no! | ||
| Never. | ||
| Never. | ||
| 35 years old. | ||
| I don't give a fuck if she's 55 and I'm 99. Bitch, I'll bust you in your mouth. | ||
| Don't you cuss in front of me, hoe. | ||
| All my motherfucking food you done ate, all the diapers, all the times I ran out of convenience store to feed your black ass, and you gonna disrespect me? | ||
| I would have never imagined that you would be so uptight with your kids cussing. | ||
| Most, back in the day, black kids didn't cuss in front of their parents. | ||
| But you cuss so much. | ||
| I do! | ||
| I like cursing! | ||
|
unidentified
|
You have a dictatorship running in your household. | |
| You have a language dictatorship. | ||
| I sure do! | ||
| Don't fucking cuss in front of me. | ||
| It's so disrespectful. | ||
| What are you laughing at? | ||
| That shit ain't funny. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's hilarious. | |
| It's hilarious just seeing you swearing about them swearing. | ||
| What? | ||
| I beat shit out of them kids. | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| You would say that in front of them. | ||
| Don't say shit in front of me. | ||
| I'll beat the shit out of you. | ||
| That's what I told them all the time. | ||
| Don't you say a motherfucking thing in front of me. | ||
| Don't you fucking cuss in front of me. | ||
| I'm your mama. | ||
| You respect me. | ||
| Do your kids cuss in front of you? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, fuck no. | ||
| Yeah, they say wild shit. | ||
| No, no, no wild shit around me. | ||
| No. | ||
| No, I will pop you in your fucking mouth. | ||
| My son tomorrow, you hallway trying to fight a nigga. | ||
| I sure am. | ||
| Don't you say that? | ||
| My son got kids. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| And he can't cuss in front of you? | ||
| No, no. | ||
| We'd be texting sometime, they'd be like, fuck! | ||
| I said, erase it, bitch! | ||
| Erase it! | ||
| I saw that! | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's so funny to me that you are so strict about cursing. | |
| No, it's disrespectful to curse in front of your parents. | ||
| It's just so, you curse constantly. | ||
| I know, but... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dude, you got me laughing at this shit. | |
| It's so hilarious. | ||
| It ain't fucking hilarious. | ||
| It's killing me because I see it happening. | ||
| I'm like envisioning it in your house. | ||
| I'm envisioning you coming home. | ||
| They don't curse. | ||
| They don't. | ||
| I believe you. | ||
| And they be like, I'm grown. | ||
| I say, well, bitch, get out of my house. | ||
| Have you done an episode about this on the show? | ||
| No. | ||
| Oh my God, you have to. | ||
| You fucking have to. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't think so. | |
| Don't cuss in front of my house. | ||
| You have to. | ||
| You have to. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| You gotta do an episode about this. | ||
| Okay, Jordan, you gotta do an episode about black. | ||
| Jordan, please. | ||
| This would be so fucking hilarious. | ||
| But, you know, black kids didn't do that back in the day. | ||
| Like, you can go, like, when my son used to hang out in Indiana with his little white friend and they cuss out they pair, you try that shit at me, I'm gonna bust you in your motherfucking throat. | ||
| I tell my son, I'll tell you, you got it twisted. | ||
| Wrong household, boo-boo. | ||
| I fight back. | ||
| I fight back. | ||
| I tell him, I say, don't forget you're black. | ||
| Your mama is hood as fuck. | ||
| Don't come home and he's like, I'm having a bad fucking day. | ||
| Fucking? | ||
| Ain't nobody fucking in here but me. | ||
| And you can't say the word. | ||
| I beat your fucking ass. | ||
| You gotta have an episode about this. | ||
| Because those are the craziest rules. | ||
| And they get so mad. | ||
| We're grown. | ||
| I don't give a fuck. | ||
| You can say that to them. | ||
| I don't give a fuck. | ||
| You can say that. | ||
| I say it all the time. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So my son smoked weed, right? | ||
| And it was very hard for me because he's the first child I ever had to do drugs. | ||
| And so I told you this one time. | ||
| I said, why the fuck you smoking weed? | ||
| Because since I've been watching Joe Rogan, I smoked weed. | ||
| He lost all this fucking weight. | ||
| So I couldn't say shit. | ||
| He went for 400 pounds to like, I think he like 210. He looks fucking good. | ||
| But he got on weed. | ||
| Gotta take the good with the bad. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I just say, son, don't do no pills. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, I don't think weed is bad for you. | ||
| I just think it's bad for some people. | ||
| I don't think... | ||
| He don't get in trouble. | ||
| He's a good kid. | ||
| I just don't want him... | ||
| I don't want him smoking cigarettes. | ||
| I don't want him drinking in front of me. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I get it. | ||
| You know, I don't party with him. | ||
| And my son smoke weed, he likes to fucking drink. | ||
| And I'm like, Jumbo, your mom and dad ain't here. | ||
| He be like, Pop said I could drink a beer with him. | ||
| I said, Don't drink a beer with him. | ||
| It's so disrespectful. | ||
| How old is he now? | ||
|
unidentified
|
23. You run the house with an iron fist. | |
| I'd be like, take your ass out dog with that shit. | ||
| He'd borrow your car, every car he got smell like weed. | ||
| So, I don't accept it to weed. | ||
| But, no, you can't curse in front of me. | ||
| Look, if he's taking care of his health and lost all that weight, that's hard to do. | ||
| That's very hard to do. | ||
| I've been fighting cheeseburger like a motherfucking UFC fight. | ||
| It's so hard to lose weight. | ||
| The older you get, it's just like, I'm trying now, but I can't put it in my mind that I'm on a diet. | ||
| I'm just like, no, I don't need that. | ||
| Why don't you just, you have resources. | ||
| Why don't you have somebody meal prep for you? | ||
| They could make you delicious food that only has a certain amount of calories. | ||
| They might sell my husband a dick, Joel. | ||
| You can't let them count people in your house. | ||
| Get a guy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We ain't a lantern. | |
| Not that my husband wouldn't lantern. | ||
| I'm doing some stuff now. | ||
| My husband just lost a lot of weight. | ||
| He went on that Ozepic. | ||
| Oh yeah, Ozepic, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, and this is before everybody found out about it. | ||
| And they just gave it to him because he has diabetes. | ||
| And he lost like 60 pounds. | ||
| I got on this shit and I swole up. | ||
| Really? | ||
| It was like I got real puffy from it. | ||
| So I'm like, I'm just gonna go walk. | ||
| So I just started walking. | ||
| I'm like, I can't do this shit. | ||
| How long did you do it for? | ||
| I did it for like a month, but I didn't lose any weight. | ||
| I was very disappointed. | ||
| My husband didn't even know he really paid attention to it. | ||
| They just gave it to him before the price hike, too. | ||
| My husband was paying like $70. | ||
| Now his prescription after insurance is $900. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Which is fucking ridiculous because everybody's on it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It got popular. | |
| It got very popular. | ||
| Well, all those Instagram ladies started talking about it. | ||
| People found out all the celebrities were on it. | ||
| Yeah, but he lost like 60 pounds. | ||
| It makes you less hungry, right? | ||
| It does. | ||
| I think it would mean, because I thought I took the shot, oh, I can eat now. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It didn't curb your appetite enough. | |
| It did, but it didn't get to my brain. | ||
| I don't think the shot got to my brain. | ||
| That's the problem with food, right? | ||
| Part of it's pleasure. | ||
| It's not just you're hungry. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| But I don't know. | ||
| I'm good. | ||
| Nothing has happened, so I don't have any medical issues, thank God. | ||
| But I would like to lose a little bottom stomach. | ||
| Why don't you just get like a trainer? | ||
| Get a trainer and a meal prep person. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| That could be my next birthday gift. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Do that. | ||
| Because it'd be easy. | ||
| Y'all heard that? | ||
| Joe is going to send a meal prep person and a trainer to my house. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'll do it. | ||
| I will. | ||
| I'll do it. | ||
| If that's what you want, I'll find someone for you. | ||
| Okay, I'm in Atlanta. | ||
| I'm quite sure there's a bunch of meal preppers down there. | ||
| Yeah, I just want something that tastes good, though. | ||
| That's the thing. | ||
| It's like this meal prep, they give you a fucking chicken breast and a piece of broccoli. | ||
| I'm not going to last. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| I'm not going to make it. | ||
| I'll tell you something. | ||
| I don't eat till 12 in the evening. | ||
| I stop at 6. And I love the kale salads at Chick-fil-A. Mm-hmm. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| I don't know if they're healthy, but they're pretty fucking good. | ||
| I bet they're... | ||
| If you want to investigate their dressing, I guarantee you it's filled with seed oils. | ||
| Half of the time, it's dry as fuck. | ||
| So a lot of times at my Chick-fil-A, I think they forget to put the dressing on it. | ||
| And I'm like, what a fucking dressing? | ||
| I'm just eating kale. | ||
| Chick-fil-A is a funny place. | ||
| The funny thing is they close on Sunday. | ||
| They're Christians. | ||
| I know. | ||
| They're missing out on so much money. | ||
| They don't care. | ||
| God has blessed them through the week. | ||
| Have you not seen them lines? | ||
| It's amazing that nobody figured out that chicken sandwiches Like a big deal before Chick-fil-A. So I had a friend one time. | ||
| I knew this guy who would take Chick-fil-A chicken to the store. | ||
| So he would always stop by my house and give me a couple cases. | ||
| And they pre-wrapped in this marinating sauce. | ||
| Oh, that was the best stolen chicken we ever had. | ||
| He used to give us like four or five boxes because he delivered their chicken. | ||
| He ain't give a fuck. | ||
| Chick-fil-A is weird too because they've got some very interesting views on gay people too. | ||
| Yeah, but all Christians do. | ||
| You know, my daddy was very religious. | ||
| And my daughter Boris called one time and my daddy didn't know she was gay, but she was short with these LeBron James looking chicks all the time. | ||
| And so my daddy called me. | ||
| He had loaned my daughter his car one day. | ||
| This is my favorite story about my daddy, rest in peace. | ||
| He said, Pat. | ||
| I said, what daddy said? | ||
| I don't know if you know this. | ||
| I said, what daddy said? | ||
| But I think your daughter is a bull goddamn digger. | ||
| I told my daughter, I said, take Granada, he'll come back, he done figured you out, bitch. | ||
| He said, you a bull, goddamn digger. | ||
| We laughed for about two hours. | ||
| Because the way he said it, nobody says it like that. | ||
| And it's for words, you shouldn't even say that, according to my daughter. | ||
| But that was the funniest shit I can remember about my dad. | ||
| He said, when he discovered my daughter was gay, she keep bringing these big bitches around, you don't look like they used to play ball. | ||
| Oh, that's hilarious. | ||
| Yeah, that's what he said. | ||
| He said, we gotta pray for her. | ||
| I said, what we praying for? | ||
| We gotta pray that shit out of her. | ||
| Not me. | ||
| I'm not wasting my time. | ||
| That spirit is strong and I'm trying to get to heaven. | ||
| You can't pray nobody out of eating pussy. | ||
| I said, Daddy, you did it. | ||
| She's just doing it with titties. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Good point. | ||
| Yeah, so I'm not fucking with her sexuality. | ||
| Yeah, you can't. | ||
| You're just gonna make someone hate you. | ||
| Yeah, so she's happy. | ||
| But it was interesting seeing my Christian daddy accept my gay daughter. | ||
| A lot of those people in the old school, they had a hard time with that. | ||
| They did. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They did. | |
| Especially religious folks. | ||
| My mother-in-law was like that. | ||
| Even the one who told me she was gay. | ||
| But that's just life. | ||
| Who gives a fuck, you know? | ||
| Those people are lonely. | ||
| When you're worried about other people being, like I said earlier, you're just lonely, Joe. | ||
| I have no time to be worried about what's going on with people. | ||
| I got my own household. | ||
| I'm building a house. | ||
| I'm doing TV. You know, I got an overall deal with Viacom. | ||
| I'm trying to create some shit. | ||
| Beautiful. | ||
| I'm trying to work. | ||
| Yeah, that's a positive attitude. | ||
| You're right, though, about people that are too concerned about other people. | ||
| It's just, it's wasted energy. | ||
| You're wasting your life. | ||
| You know, the biggest thing that I hope that don't happen, and I don't even want to really get into it, DeSanto, please don't fuck up Disney. | ||
| Oh my God. | ||
| You don't fuck up Disney? | ||
| I don't know, but they suing each other. | ||
| I'm like, can you leave Mickey Mouth alone? | ||
| Please. | ||
| It'll be fun. | ||
| I hope so. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You can't close the happiest place on earth. | ||
| They're not going to close that place. | ||
| They didn't close during the pandemic. | ||
| They're not going to close. | ||
| Did I go during the pandemic? | ||
| I went right after the pandemic with my family. | ||
| We went to Universal. | ||
| We went to VIP. I'm quite sure you've been VIP. Yeah. | ||
| That's the best way you can go. | ||
| Oh, it's amazing. | ||
| It's so fucking amazing. | ||
| If y'all go to Disney and don't go VIP, you're missing out. | ||
| Yeah, you're cutting all the lines. | ||
| You're going through the back door. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It ain't cutting the line, because they got a pass you can cut the line. | ||
| Everybody else had to wait. | ||
| And I remember, I heard people, because all of us, big and black, and they was like, are they athletes? | ||
| And we're like, no, bitch, just a mama comedian. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It was the best experience. | ||
| My kids, we really enjoyed it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, when my kids were little, Disneyland, we went there constantly. | ||
| And when it was shut down during the pandemic, I was really worried that it wasn't going to be able to come back. | ||
| Because when you hear about how much money they were losing, they were losing some insane amount of money every day. | ||
| And California wouldn't let them open up. | ||
| It didn't make any sense. | ||
| I like the one in Florida. | ||
| I don't care for the one in California. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The one in Florida has the best ride ever. | ||
| The Jurassic, not Jurassic Park, Avatar rides. | ||
| Flights of Passage. | ||
| Have you been on that one? | ||
| I don't get on no fucking roller coaster. | ||
| Oh, it's not that. | ||
| It's virtual reality. | ||
| You sit on what looks like a motorcycle. | ||
| I know. | ||
| And you put on virtual reality headsets and you're flying through, but you're not moving. | ||
| Yeah, but my panty liner can't take that stress. | ||
| No? | ||
| No. | ||
| My kids enjoy it. | ||
| I'd have walked out that bitch pissy. | ||
| But it doesn't move much. | ||
| It's mostly in your head. | ||
| Yeah, but you think you're moving. | ||
| It makes you feel like you're moving. | ||
| Also, with that Harry Potter ride. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| I was like, no, I can't do that. | ||
| That's a fun ride. | ||
| You got on it? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, one of my daughters was very into Harry Potter. | ||
| She read all the novels, and I had to take her a bunch of times. | ||
| I've been on that ride multiple times. | ||
| No, I don't get on any rides. | ||
| I just, like, friend of Scooter or old people Scooter ride through the park. | ||
| I wonder, like, what it's like at the Harry Potter world now because everybody hates J.K. Rowling because of her stance on trans women. | ||
| Like, there's so many people that hate her. | ||
| I wonder, like, if they've rebelled against Harry Potter world. | ||
| Probably have. | ||
| What did she say? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I wonder. | |
| I don't think it was that unreasonable. | ||
| It was something about biological men never being women. | ||
| It was something to the toe of trying to preserve the idea of being a woman. | ||
| What did she say that was so questionable? | ||
| Was that the whole thing when trans men were talking about being, they need to get rid of the song Natural Woman by... | ||
| Aretha Franklin, you seen that whole thing? | ||
| I have seen that stupid shit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's a lot of stupid shit going on with that because what it is is like men, biological men, behaving like men in women's spaces. | ||
| So they want to take over things. | ||
| That's what you see. | ||
| I don't agree with them being in sports. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| No matter your wig. | ||
| And I support you 100%. | ||
| So what did she say? | ||
| Okay, people who menstruate, in quotes, I'm sure there used to be a word for these people. | ||
| Someone help me out. | ||
| Woman opinion. | ||
| Creating a more equal post-COVID-19 world for people who menstruate. | ||
| So what she's trying to say is that saying things like people who menstruate, like you are eliminating the idea of being a woman. | ||
| Because now you're saying that anybody could be a woman. | ||
| And so she says here, if sex isn't real, there's no same sex attraction. | ||
| If sex isn't real, the lived reality of women globally is erased. | ||
| I know and love trans people, but erasing the concept of sex removes the ability of many to meaningfully discuss their lives. | ||
| It isn't hate to speak the truth. | ||
| See what she's saying is not unreasonable. | ||
| The idea that women like me, who've been empathetic to trans people for decades, feeling kinship because they're vulnerable in the same way as women, i.e. | ||
| to male violence, hate trans people because they think sex is real and has lived consequences is a nonsense. | ||
| So she's not saying anything that's that outrageous. | ||
| She's being rational about something that seems like very much cult-like behavior. | ||
| You're trying to eliminate the term woman. | ||
| She says, I've never felt shouted at, ignored, and targeted as a lesbian within our supposed GLBT community, as I have over the past couple years. | ||
| Anonymous letter from a terrified lesbian. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, so they're trying to say that she's a TERF, which is a trans-exclusionary radical feminist. | ||
| So a radical feminist who doesn't want trans people to be in feminist spaces. | ||
| And there's a lot of women that think that... | ||
| Women's spaces should be for biological women, and that when you let biological males into women's spaces, even if they say they identify as being a woman, oftentimes they have... | ||
| First of all, they're not biological women. | ||
| Like the one who was in prison and got the women pregnant. | ||
| Yeah, two women pregnant. | ||
| Or these fucking athletes that are breaking records, which is just insanity. | ||
| Wasn't they boxing? | ||
| Wasn't the trans women boxing? | ||
| And the women lead also? | ||
| There was one MMA fighter. | ||
| There was an MMA fighter that fought two women, two biological women before... | ||
| And beat the shit out of them. | ||
| And beat the fucking shit out of them. | ||
| Before people knew that she was a biological male. | ||
| She didn't tell anybody. | ||
| So she fought two fights with these biological women, with these women not knowing that she used to be a man. | ||
| For 30 years. | ||
| And even fathered a child. | ||
| It's cult thinking. | ||
| Wait a minute. | ||
| The trans fighter fathered a child. | ||
| So who the fuck told him? | ||
| I don't know what happened, how it got revealed. | ||
| But then it was just a giant outrage. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, I don't want to fight you, Joe, because you put on a fucking wig. | ||
| Yeah, it's ridiculous. | ||
| I still got a wound. | ||
| Yeah, it's wrong in every shape. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You still a man? | |
| Yeah, especially not. | ||
| Look, if someone knows that that person's a trans woman and you still want to fight them, it's up to you. | ||
| But not knowing and saying that there's no difference between a trans woman and a biological woman, that's horseshit. | ||
| Excuse me, I can pull off my panties and prove to you it's a different joke. | ||
| Yeah, there's differences in so many ways. | ||
| I mean, it's very different. | ||
| Yeah, my shit come off sticky. | ||
| I like how you say, like you did the laundry before. | ||
| So that's what they're mad at. | ||
| That led to this giant backlash, but it became a thing where people can just say, J.K. Rawlings is transphobic, and they probably don't even know the quotes, and they just attack her online. | ||
| So she's always defending herself, and they're always attacking her. | ||
| It's like, But I'm quite sure they still support it. | ||
| Every time I go there, I go to Harry Potter Lane. | ||
| Well, I'm sure enough people... | ||
| Look, it's one of the most successful book series of all time. | ||
| I think they get ready to do movies, aren't they? | ||
| They've done a shitload of movies on Harry Potter. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| They're redoing it. | ||
| They're doing another version? | ||
| It's a TV show, I think? | ||
| Yeah, I just heard something. | ||
| Each book is a season or... | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I wonder if they're gonna woke-ify it. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| They're gonna fuck it up. | ||
| They're not gonna fuck it up. | ||
| Who, that woke will fuck up some shit, won't it? | ||
| Boy, boy. | ||
| Look at Bud Light. | ||
| What happened to Bud Light? | ||
| You don't know? | ||
| That's how much I don't pay attention to shit. | ||
| Good for you. | ||
| Good for you. | ||
| I'm learning shit from you. | ||
| Go. | ||
| What happened to Bud Light? | ||
| Bud Light had this trans woman who was like this TikTok famous person named Dylan Moe. | ||
| Oh yeah, I heard about her. | ||
| They sent her cans of Bud Light with her face on it and everybody went crazy because she did all these, you know, this thing online about it and everybody was like, fuck Bud Light. | ||
| Now, like, All these right-wing people are boycotting Bud Light. | ||
| They don't want to drink their beer and look down at it as a trans person, huh? | ||
| Well, it was that and it was also the person who was running the campaign said something about fratty senses of humor that the beer was out of touch. | ||
| That they wanted to be more inclusive. | ||
| So they were basically shitting on all their old fans of Bud Light. | ||
| All the people who were their customers. | ||
| They were talking down to them. | ||
| She was saying, well, we need to bring in, the brand is dying. | ||
| It's not inclusive. | ||
| We need to make it more inclusive. | ||
| And by inclusive, they decided to go with this trans person who's an attention whore. | ||
| This is like, look, day 365 of womanhood. | ||
| My face is on a can. | ||
| Literally, we'll say the days he's been a woman. | ||
| Day 365 of womanhood, like seriously. | ||
| Oh, he just turned into a woman? | ||
| Yeah, real recent. | ||
| And Butt Light put him on the kids? | ||
| Not only that, other companies have done stuff with her. | ||
| Him, they. | ||
| I don't know how they represent themselves. | ||
| I think it was Maybelline did something. | ||
| Now people want to boycott Maybelline. | ||
| Is it Maybelline? | ||
| Hey world, could I just say something to y'all? | ||
| Trans people gotta eat too. | ||
| Trans people gotta eat too. | ||
| But it's also, it's like these companies don't really, they're just doing it because they think that's the hip thing to do. | ||
| They're doing it because they think that somehow or another it's going to connect. | ||
| People are going to go, yeah, we're going to support Bud Light now. | ||
| That shit doesn't work. | ||
| Consumers outrage over Maybelline pays trans woman Dylan Mulvaney to model its makeup. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Joe. | |
| She's beautiful. | ||
| She's beautiful, Joe. | ||
| Cut the shit. | ||
| No. | ||
| Cut the shit. | ||
| She's pretty. | ||
| No. | ||
| No. | ||
| What do you mean, no? | ||
| No, I don't think so. | ||
| Where? | ||
| Right there. | ||
| Put that back up, Joe. | ||
| She's had facial surgery. | ||
| Okay, because I was going to say. | ||
| To make her face slimmer. | ||
| Yeah, because I was going to say. | ||
| That's not very beautiful to me. | ||
| I couldn't tell. | ||
| That's odd. | ||
| It's not ugly. | ||
| Joe, that's what the average woman look like now. | ||
| I don't agree with that. | ||
| If that's a boy. | ||
| That's a boy. | ||
| There. | ||
| Like, that's what they really look like. | ||
| She look like a white, happy woman to me. | ||
| Everybody else who got a plastic surgery. | ||
| That's post-surgery, right? | ||
| See if you can find the old pictures, what this person looked like. | ||
| They had more of like a masculine jawline. | ||
| I'm quite sure she was. | ||
| She was a boy once. | ||
| Riley, do you see them coming out with women jawline? | ||
| Well, if they get that surgery, they get the jawline trimmed. | ||
| You can get a lot of shit trimmed these days. | ||
| Yeah, I heard. | ||
| Nothing is a real joke. | ||
| If she ain't got scratch marks, you need to ask her some questions. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, Jesus Christ. | ||
| Where is she? | ||
| Breaks down FFS. I don't know what that is. | ||
| Recovery. | ||
| Facial feminization surgery. | ||
| So that's what they used to look like. | ||
| See? | ||
| Oh! | ||
| Oh! | ||
| Oh, Jesus Christ, that's rough. | ||
| That's crazy shit they do to people. | ||
| When you got the money, everybody want to be beautiful. | ||
| Nobody want to be... | ||
| The Kardashians set a weird standard, you know, because they just kept nicking and tucking until they got it right. | ||
| Shasha Gabor and that stuff going on in the 80s. | ||
| Did they do it? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't know, I'm asking. | ||
| But I think that looked bad. | ||
| It was like facelifts. | ||
| I think what they do now, like if you look at the nip and tucks today, like they're pretty fucking good at it. | ||
| Oh yeah, you remember back in the day they had to cut you and pull your face all the way back, behind your heels. | ||
| Do it too far sometimes. | ||
| You look like Biden. | ||
| Let me say this. | ||
| Biden is such a fucking liar. | ||
| I mean, I'm a Democrat, but all those times he said he had COVID, we knew he went and got his eyes redone. | ||
| Those fucking eyes are at least five years old. | ||
| I mean, they smoother than a baby ass. | ||
| But his cheeks is 88. So I'm like, it doesn't match. | ||
| His whole face looks weird. | ||
| Because he only get eye lifts. | ||
| But he's doing something. | ||
| It looks like he's got Botox, too. | ||
| Yeah, right up under the eyes. | ||
| Look at the bags. | ||
| Now look at the recent picture. | ||
| Look, those are bags. | ||
| He's gotten so much eye work done. | ||
| Yeah, that seems weird to me. | ||
| Yeah, to the point he almost can't open his eyes anymore. | ||
| Yeah, it looks very different, that's for sure. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Poor president. | ||
| Poor president. | ||
| He's running again, too. | ||
| I just can't believe that. | ||
| Well, he's running again? | ||
| Yeah, I just can't believe that. | ||
| I can't believe they let him. | ||
| Doesn't make any sense. | ||
| You can't talk. | ||
| Well, they let Trump run several times. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Trump can at least form a sentence. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Trump forms a lot of the wrong sentences. | ||
|
unidentified
|
There's a lot of that. | |
| Biden does too. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| I'm a bunch of liars. | ||
| They're all a bunch of liars. | ||
| All they want us to do is fight. | ||
| We fight amongst ourselves while they spend our money. | ||
| That's why I worry about things like the abortion issue and I worry about some other issues. | ||
| I think that sometimes those things, they're just designed to keep everybody at each other's throats. | ||
| Why they go off and do dumb shit? | ||
| Why they go off and make dumb decisions while we're not paying attention? | ||
| They put small things for us to fight about. | ||
| Then behind the door, they fucking up all kind of other big shit. | ||
| Then when they finally come to the light, you're like, what the hell? | ||
| Where did this come from? | ||
| So, you know. | ||
| They get us upset about things. | ||
| Next thing, it's gonna be climate change. | ||
| That's what people are gonna be fighting off. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Just like they were fighting over COVID. Race, everything else. | ||
| Everything. | ||
| Everything else. | ||
| Gay, straight, abortion, pro-life. | ||
| Black, white, rich, famous. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Asian. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Everything. | ||
| My friend was telling me the other day that somebody just passed a law where if you got a good credit score, you get a higher interest rate. | ||
| Biden just did that. | ||
| If you got a bad credit score, you get a... | ||
| What the fuck is going on? | ||
| So all of these years, you work to have good credit. | ||
| You paid your bill on time. | ||
| So you're going to punish me by doing the right thing? | ||
| But the person with the lower credit score who probably can't even afford the damn house can get the house at a better rate? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| A person who's been bad at paying their bills gets a better rate. | ||
| They get a better insurance rate, which is insane. | ||
| If you want to have it equal, you want to have people not penalized because they have bad credit, that's fine. | ||
| If you want to do that, okay. | ||
| You want to make it so you don't incentivize people to have good credit? | ||
| That's what you want to do. | ||
| But to penalize people who've done the right thing is just un-American. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| It's ridiculous. | ||
| It doesn't make any sense. | ||
| I was telling my friends, I worked my ass off to get my credit score right. | ||
| Now you're telling me I could get a better interest rate with my 400 I had? | ||
| Yeah, I mean, it's not saying that some people aren't cast into very difficult situations. | ||
| But what it is saying is that some people have been as responsible as they can, and they should be rewarded for it. | ||
| And other people have been as irresponsible as they can, and they shouldn't be rewarded for it. | ||
| I agree. | ||
| And they said it's a law now. | ||
| Is that real? | ||
| Was that 100%? | ||
| Was that real? | ||
| I was trying to find... | ||
| I had read that this... | ||
| I saw the meme online for sure going around, but I had read an explanation that it wasn't accurate. | ||
| Thank God! | ||
| It wasn't accurate? | ||
| That it's not... | ||
| Like they get a 1% credit. | ||
| It's just like 1% less than it was or something like that. | ||
| I thought there was a different rate. | ||
| I thought the law was that it's like one... | ||
| I don't know what the number difference was, but it was a considerable difference in the rate. | ||
| Because if you got good credit and you're applying for something, you could probably get the 2% that they're advertising. | ||
| But somebody with bad credit might get 8% or 7%. | ||
| Right, right. | ||
| So I told her, I said, I haven't read anything on it, so I don't know. | ||
| I said, but that's the craziest shit I've heard. | ||
| Yeah, it's like they're taking a risk. | ||
| So they want you to pay more because they're taking a risk. | ||
| So the idea is that enough people are going to default on it that they will still make their money. | ||
| And they got insurance on it. | ||
| Because they got insurance on it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's a mess. | ||
| Well, that's what this world do. | ||
| They put you against each other and then they try to keep you in a hole. | ||
| You just got to be smart as an individual and say, I'm not falling for this bullshit. | ||
| There's definitely a lot of people that want to do that. | ||
| Definitely. | ||
| Definitely a lot of people like to keep people in holes. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, we in the comedy world. | ||
| You know we know that. | ||
| Hey, they can say one real thing and change your whole fucking life in this industry. | ||
| It's a weird world, isn't it? | ||
| Because you're saying ridiculous shit and you're trying to be as outrageous as possible. | ||
| But, you know, a lot of the things that you see in comedy clubs today, like... | ||
| A lot of the jokes that people say on a regular basis could be just the subject of extreme outrage across the country by any group of people at any given time. | ||
| Any comic could go on stage and say something that the whole audience laughs at and then someone could decide that this is the worst thing that a person's ever said. | ||
| They do it all the time. | ||
| All the time. | ||
| I'm quite sure people say the same shit to you. | ||
| I had somebody tell me one time, how dare you talk about getting an abortion? | ||
| I say, fuck you, bitch, it's my pussy. | ||
| Talk about your abortion. | ||
| How many you killed? | ||
| Because I still claim all my kids. | ||
| Did you say this to her face? | ||
| No, I said it on social media. | ||
| She hit me on social media. | ||
| I didn't know that, bitch. | ||
| Don't come on my page and tell me I can't talk about the babies I killed. | ||
| They're my goddamn babies. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Bzzz. | |
| You act like you knew the daddy. | ||
| You ain't have shit to do with that. | ||
| You want no fly on that wall? | ||
| Don't tell me. | ||
| I'm 51. Fuck you. | ||
| Some people don't want to hear that. | ||
| They only want to hear pro-life. | ||
| And they think they're righteous and standing up for that. | ||
| But to not recognize that that's, it's a very complicated issue. | ||
| It's a very human issue. | ||
| Like, human issues are very complex. | ||
| And then when the kid get here, and then you got to put it in the system, nobody wants to adopt it. | ||
| Nobody wants to care for it. | ||
| Nobody wants to, you know. | ||
| Right. | ||
| One minute you say keep them, then when we keep them, you don't want to help feed them. | ||
| I mean, sometimes people know that they got their stuff into a situation and they can't take care of that responsibility. | ||
| Just leave people alone and let them make their own decisions. | ||
| I say that all the time. | ||
| Mind your motherfucking business because that's what I'm going to do with mine. | ||
| You got to let people make good decisions and bad decisions and we all got to learn from those good decisions and bad decisions. | ||
| That's how we grow as a human being. | ||
| If you're always perfect, then how are you going to grow, Joe? | ||
| You're not and no one is. | ||
| So it's like it's unachievable anyway. | ||
| Look at the Dalai Lama. | ||
| What the hell did Dalai Lama do? | ||
| Spit in the baby's mouth. | ||
| Ask the baby to suck his tongue. | ||
| In front of everybody. | ||
| In front of everybody. | ||
| He wasn't alone with this dude. | ||
| He was out in like a courtyard. | ||
| Well, no dude was a fucking kid. | ||
| Kid, excuse me. | ||
| Little dude. | ||
| Let me say this to you. | ||
| If he did at that time, a kid would have sucked his tongue before. | ||
| Oh, 100%. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's not something you try out when you're 70. No, somebody been sucking your tongue. | |
| You don't get to be like seven years old. | ||
| But see, that's why black people be Christian, because we would have slapped shit out of that pastor. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'd have slapped that Dama Llama. | ||
| What is it? | ||
| Dalai Lama. | ||
| Dalai Lama. | ||
| Dalai partner. | ||
| Dalai Lama's better. | ||
| I'd have slapped that goddamn Dalai Lama tongue around his neck. | ||
| You stick your fucking tongue in my black baby mouth. | ||
| Who left their fucking little boy with that man? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Where are the parents while that's happening? | ||
| Imagine if that was your son and he's like, stick your tongue out. | ||
| I'm going to suck your tongue. | ||
| No. | ||
| No, I don't think so, sir. | ||
| I'd have slapped shit out of that Dalai Lama. | ||
| I'm going to tell you right now. | ||
| Any parent would. | ||
| It's fucking ridiculous. | ||
| The fact that he said that, and then he just did it in front of everybody, and then he apologized, and then it kind of went away. | ||
| That's what they always do. | ||
| But that's nuts. | ||
| But that that one, like you're li- like that's- Proof. | ||
| It's pretty much proof you're trying to get a boy to French kiss you. | ||
| You're telling the boy to suck on your tongue. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What is- what is that? | |
| You know what that is. | ||
| Yeah, pedophilia. | ||
| There's two things I was going to add before. | ||
| Tongue greeting in Tibetan culture? | ||
| The video was edited slightly. | ||
| How so? | ||
| It's a longer video than the clip that went viral. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| And it has, there's context that I think was edited out. | ||
| Not that we're going to understand it probably, but... | ||
| See, this is Tibetan culture. | ||
| So, sticking out your tongue, according to a 2014 BBC article, sticking out your tongue can be considered as rude, but in Tibet, it's a way of greeting. | ||
| That's just sticking your tongue out. | ||
| That's not sucking on someone's tongue. | ||
| That's a very different thing. | ||
| It says it has a tradition followed by the Tibetan people since the 9th century when the region was ruled by Long Drama who was known for a black tongue. | ||
| Oh, so he had a black tongue. | ||
| So that was why sticking out the tongue became like a greeting. | ||
| Because this guy had a crazy tongue. | ||
| You want to show everybody. | ||
| His tongue was black. | ||
| That's what he's saying. | ||
| Guy had a black tongue. | ||
| After the death of the king, locals started showing their tongues when asked to confirm they are not like him or his reincarnation. | ||
| Oh, interesting. | ||
| Yeah, but that has nothing to do with sucking on a tongue. | ||
| If he said that, stick your tongue out, and the other guy went, ah. | ||
| It was funny. | ||
| That's funny. | ||
| A guy and a kid sticking your tongue out, being silly. | ||
| But suck my tongue? | ||
| That's a totally different enterprise. | ||
| How would you have reacted? | ||
| I would have beat the fuck out of him. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, I was certainly screamed at him. | ||
| I was certainly like, what the fuck are you doing? | ||
| When this story first hit, so, you know, everything don't translate. | ||
| I'm a little slow sometimes. | ||
| I thought it was like, when they said Dalai Lama, I thought it was like one of them big-ass llama. | ||
| Them things don't talk. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm sorry, y'all. | |
| That's dumbness in me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And I was like, wait a minute. | |
| That's what I was thinking about. | ||
| One of them llama things. | ||
| I was like, hold on. | ||
| He's talking about... | ||
| I was like, I'd have beat his ass. | ||
| He's a very bizarre religious figure because he was chosen when he was a small child. | ||
| That he was the Dalai Lama. | ||
| So he's been the Dalai Lama his whole life. | ||
| So it's not like a position he earned, you know, through being this like incredible person that everybody realizes like the reincarnation of some holy person. | ||
| So who's that for him? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I don't know what they do. | ||
| I think they pick one. | ||
| I don't know how they do. | ||
| I don't know what the tradition is. | ||
| But I believe he was picked. | ||
| See if we can find out how they've picked the Dalai Lama. | ||
| But he's been the Dalai Lama like his whole life. | ||
| So he's been this religious, you know, worshipped person his whole life. | ||
| So what a weird life that guy's had. | ||
| How many tongues has he sucked? | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| How many times has somebody sucked his tongue? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Quite a few. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| Suck my tongue. | ||
| Suck my finger. | ||
| Hey, suck my whole hand. | ||
| Hey, you know what I'm saying? | ||
| Thanks so you know. | ||
| Let me show you some artifacts. | ||
| That's why I don't go to church. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| When the Dalai Lama dies, or even before their death, a successor is found rather than chosen. | ||
| Traditionally, senior Tibetan monks conduct an elaborate quest to find a child who is the Dalai Lama's next incarnation. | ||
| The search involves consulting oracles, interpreting visions, and reading spiritual signs. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| So that's how they found him. | ||
| So he was just at the house chilling as a kid. | ||
| They said, come here boy, you're the Dollar Lama. | ||
| He's like, pssh, I am the one. | ||
| Suck my tongue. | ||
| Maybe that's how they found him. | ||
| I'm quite sure he had a great life as a Dollar Lama. | ||
| Right away when he was a little kid, he's like, come here. | ||
| And they're like, that's him. | ||
| We found him. | ||
| You think you just walk around like a dog with his tongue hanging out. | ||
| Oh, that's the tongue we've been looking for. | ||
| Waiting for people to spot him. | ||
| So you think they was looking for somebody with a sucker baton? | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| Took him off to live in the lap of luxury. | ||
| That's a lap of luxury. | ||
| Wearing robes. | ||
| People just following you around and you just talk about life. | ||
| No relationships, no marriage, no children. | ||
| They don't have a relationship? | ||
| No, I think they're supposed to be celibate. | ||
| Isn't that what the premise of this movie is? | ||
| Oh, that's right. | ||
| The Golden Child. | ||
| Yeah, that is sort of the premise, right? | ||
| Trying to find the next one. | ||
| Yeah, because they're celibate, right? | ||
| Doesn't the Dalai Lama have to be celibate? | ||
| Wow. | ||
| I believe they do. | ||
| Which is also not good. | ||
| Everybody need to bust a nut. | ||
| Yeah, everybody. | ||
| Everybody. | ||
| You know, I told a story about my special knee uncle. | ||
| My granddaddy was buying pussy on Friday because he thought that would help him with having seizures. | ||
| And people was like, you're lying. | ||
| I'm like, if you grew up in my granddaddy house, everybody know that my granddaddy had hookers to fuck my uncle Cecil because he was special ill, special knee, and he was crippled. | ||
| So me and my sister had to go back there and help him get started. | ||
| And once we got him started, we went and played Pac-Man. | ||
| But it didn't help with his seizures, but he came out pretty happy. | ||
| Well, there you go. | ||
| You know, that's why I say special needs people need to bust a nut, too. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| If there was prostitutes that only specialized in special needs people just to make them happy. | ||
| No, my granddaddy paid them. | ||
| Yeah, that's what I'm saying, for money. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, they got like half a pane of whiskey, shit like that. | ||
| Oh, that's what he gave them? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| He ran the bootleg house, so he sold Moonshine. | ||
| So he would feed them and give them whiskey and a few dollars. | ||
| What kind of hookers can you get to fuck a special needs guy from Moonshine? | ||
| I mean, I'm having a hard time seeing the bright side of this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh my god, what do these ladies look like? | |
| These poor ladies were down on their luck. | ||
| They didn't look like that chick on that sign behind you, but they look a lot like these. | ||
| That's Mitzi Shore. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| Yeah, that's who that is. | ||
| I don't know who that is. | ||
| Mitzi Shore founded the Comedy Store. | ||
| Damn, what? | ||
| Yeah, that's Mitzi. | ||
| You know, I don't think I knew Missy. | ||
| Our bar at the Comedy Mothership is called Mitzi's. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| Didn't she just recently pass? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's beautiful. | ||
| We have a sign that's a neon sign that's modeled after her signature. | ||
| So we took her signature and converted it into a neon sign. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What holes have the look of how it look like these? | ||
| Yeah, probably look like those. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Probably look like these skulls, just barely hanging on. | |
| A lot of the teeth, I can tell you that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Those aren't real skulls. | ||
| No, you don't have to feel worried about it. | ||
| There's a guy named Jack of the Dust. | ||
| He's an artist. | ||
| Those are those day of the dead skulls. | ||
| I didn't think you would have dead skulls. | ||
| No, I did at one point in time. | ||
| I bought a whole dead skeleton online and I put it in my piranha tank. | ||
| So I had a piranha tank and there was a human skeleton inside of it. | ||
| Who bought it was it? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I bought it online. | ||
| This is like in the 90s. | ||
| Damn, Joe, you just that rich? | ||
| You just buy people bones? | ||
| I wasn't that rich. | ||
| Back then, I was nearly as rich as you. | ||
| I guarantee you that. | ||
| You was that bored? | ||
| I was a man that had money, and I lived by myself. | ||
| I was a crazy person. | ||
| So what did the piranhas do? | ||
| Did they eat them? | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| They ate goldfish. | ||
| I'd feed them goldfish. | ||
| Did you ever stick your hand in there and see if they really bite you? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No! | |
| No, no, no, no. | ||
| Have you saw what they did to those goldfish? | ||
| Oh my god, it was crazy. | ||
| So like every few days I would have just a slaughter fest in my living room. | ||
| I would go to the store, I'd go to the pet store and I'd buy a big bag of goldfish. | ||
| And I'd just dump them in there with the piranhas, and it would just be madness. | ||
| You'd see goldfish swimming away, like half-bitten. | ||
| They'd just bite them in half, like half of them swimming away. | ||
| They'd bite each other's lips off because they were trying to steal food from each other. | ||
| Why didn't you drop chickens and shit in there? | ||
| You could if you wanted to, but I'm not a fan of torturing mammals. | ||
| I don't have feelings like that towards fish. | ||
| Fish eat fish and that's just what they do. | ||
| But if I threw a mouse in there or something, I'd probably feel bad for that little guy. | ||
| They're too close to us. | ||
| They're warm-blooded. | ||
| They have fur. | ||
| Something about that. | ||
| If I had fed a rat to a python, I'd be like... | ||
| This is so close to the food chain. | ||
| Whereas throwing goldfish into a tank filled with piranhas, they have to eat. | ||
| They're going to eat dead fish or live fish. | ||
| They'd rather eat them live. | ||
| That's what they like to do. | ||
| So you watch them do it. | ||
| They go into a feeding frenzy. | ||
| It was wild. | ||
| I just had a snake on my back porch. | ||
| What kind? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It was big. | ||
| I put it on my Instagram. | ||
| It was fucking huge. | ||
| See if you can find it. | ||
| I'll tell you what it is. | ||
| Oh, you'll tell me what it is? | ||
| I can give you a rough idea of what it is. | ||
| I'm not the best at it, but I can send it to somebody and they can tell you for sure. | ||
| Let me see if I can find this on my Instagram. | ||
| It was the most serious... | ||
| Jamie can find it. | ||
| How far away was it? | ||
| How long ago was it? | ||
| It's not that far, Jamie, if you look down there. | ||
| We'll find it. | ||
| It was a fucking... | ||
| I told my husband, you hear me in the background screaming, choke it out! | ||
| My husband's like, is you fucking crazy? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Yeah, there he is. | ||
| That's my poetry. | ||
| Okay, it's not a rattler, because the tail... | ||
| Let me see. | ||
| Oh, Jesus Christ. | ||
| Oh, wait a minute. | ||
| Hold on. | ||
| Wow, you have three of them? | ||
| Two or three? | ||
| Oh, it's just one. | ||
| It's your ass day! | ||
| Is it poison? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Is it poison? | |
| Can you come choke his ass out? | ||
| I think that's just a garden snake, but it's pretty big. | ||
| I can't see its head. | ||
| The shape of their head should tell you. | ||
| If you see one that has a shape of a head and a diamond, that's a poisonous snake generally. | ||
| There's other poisonous snakes that don't have a head that way, but like rattlesnakes and snakes like that, they have a head like that. | ||
| So we pick him up because the guy was like, I don't think he's part. | ||
| So we put him in the trash can. | ||
| This guy's doing my roof, Mexican chocolate. | ||
| Oh, I get him, put him in the trash can. | ||
| So I tell the engineer, I was like, can you please get this fucking snake away from me? | ||
| So he said, oh, it's probably a gun snake. | ||
| I take him home. | ||
| So he said, well, my wife don't want him. | ||
| So he said, well, I throw him down the hill, like on my land. | ||
| And he came back. | ||
| So I'm like, look, just because we black, we're not going to hang out together. | ||
| So I take a stick and I slap the shit out of him. | ||
| And he turned around like, this bitch is stupid, and just left. | ||
| I'm like, I asked you, I'm trying to be nice not to kill you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Because I was going to put him in the trash can, and I was like, oh, he's going to come out in the fucking big dumpster. | ||
| Let those carne corsos after him. | ||
| They'll take care of it. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| Quick. | ||
| Well, they wasn't at that house. | ||
| It's the house I was building. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| Just bring them out there? | ||
| Yeah, I should, but that snake scared the fuck out of them. | ||
| So my husband's down in one of the big garage we got down on the property, and there it is. | ||
| Three, four snakes in there, motherfucker. | ||
| Oh, you got a snake problem. | ||
| I do. | ||
| A lake is in the back of my house, a creek-like, and they fucking, they're so big. | ||
| Mm-hmm. | ||
| I'll tell you some crazy shit I've seen. | ||
| I've never seen a real owl in my owl, O-W-L, because I say they're fucked up. | ||
| So I'm sitting in my girlfriend, y'all, in the city of Atlanta, out fly a fucking owl, cold-blooded, like he had on a three-piece suit that was orange like a black man and some fucking Stacey Adams, and hit the ground, and looked at me like, what's up, bitch? | ||
|
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|
And his head spinned. | |
| Joe Rogan, I put that fucking car in reverse. | ||
| I said, bitch, you got an owl in your yard and we in the hood. | ||
| That was the scariest shit I ever seen to see a fucking real owl. | ||
| The way he came out that tree, I didn't know their wings was that big. | ||
| He was like, what's up, bitch? | ||
| And he hit that ground. | ||
| And I was like, wait a fucking minute. | ||
| I put on the bright lights. | ||
| And he's just looking like, what it is? | ||
| It scared the shit out of me. | ||
| I had this guy, Dan Flores, on the podcast the other day, and he's a wildlife historian. | ||
| He wrote an amazing book about the history of wildlife in America. | ||
| One of the things he said, when they find owl's nests, this one owl's nest, they found 75 cat collars in this owl's nest. | ||
| So this owl would just swoop cats up, take them into the nest, kill them and eat them, feed them to their babies. | ||
| That's where most cats that go missing. | ||
| He said it's owls. | ||
| He said they watched one. | ||
| They were at this place that had a back patio and there was this cat that was walking on the top of the railing and this owl came, just swooped him up and took him off. | ||
| Just flew away with him. | ||
| They're big fucking birds. | ||
| They're like a three foot wingspan and giant talons. | ||
| Owls are ruthless. | ||
| I've never seen one until I seen one in her yard. | ||
| And she lives in the city of Atlanta. | ||
| The way he came down out that tree, it was beautiful. | ||
| Because, you know, I'm sitting there on the phone. | ||
| I'm not high. | ||
| So I'm like, what the fuck is that? | ||
| And it's just like he was in slow motion. | ||
| He hit that ground. | ||
| And that motherfucker head, that nigga head spin around. | ||
| I said, no, you got the wrong black person. | ||
| I threw that car reverse and bitch. | ||
| You got an owl in your yard. | ||
| I couldn't call the police and say, come get down. | ||
| Yeah, they're probably looking for cats. | ||
| I don't know what the fuck he's looking for, but he wasn't looking for me that night. | ||
| I left my friend's house. | ||
| I sure did. | ||
| I said, you need to cut your... | ||
| What the fuck is that? | ||
| Feathers, they look weird as fuck. | ||
| That's what they look like without feathers? | ||
| I guess. | ||
| Why does that have no feathers? | ||
| Science? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| Oh, they probably skinned it. | ||
| Oh, it's probably dead. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| They look creepy as fuck. | ||
| That wing looks tasty, don't it? | ||
| Look at them. | ||
| Wow, their wings are tasty. | ||
| Are they good? | ||
| No, I've never eaten it, but I'm just saying right there on the picture, they look like friable. | ||
| That looks like you could make something out of that. | ||
| Like a little bite-sized morsel. | ||
| Yeah, little legs. | ||
| Probably tough. | ||
| That's an ugly fucker. | ||
| Tough meat. | ||
| They're strong as shit. | ||
| The fact that that little fucker can carry off a cat... | ||
| You know, a cat's gotta weigh 10 pounds. | ||
| When I was, um, when we was tearing down my house and putting the concrete down, it's this big ass, I guess an eagle flew out of the, flew out of the, I don't know where the fuck he came from, Joe. | ||
| We sat in there and he swooped down and got this rabbit off the ground, took the head and yanked it off and took off with the body. | ||
| I was like, oh my fucking God. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And I was like, where the fuck did I move? | ||
| Came back. | ||
| They was like, don't touch it. | ||
| He's gonna come back for the head. | ||
| Came back and got the head. | ||
| That was some creepy shit. | ||
| And they're always flying around because they got tall trees out there in the woods. | ||
| It's crazy to see that. | ||
| It's cool though because that's population control. | ||
| If you didn't have that, you'd have rabbits everywhere, rats everywhere. | ||
| That's what they're doing. | ||
| They're keeping it clean. | ||
| That's like when people complain about coyotes in Hollywood. | ||
| I'm like, try to find a rat. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's no rats out here. | ||
| These rats are hiding. | ||
| They're in trouble. | ||
| Rats are in trouble. | ||
| Coyotes are everywhere. | ||
| Well, they need to take them to New York. | ||
| Yeah, they're in New York. | ||
| Coyote? | ||
| Yeah, they're in New York. | ||
| But the problem with New York is the subway system. | ||
| New York, the rats are all underground. | ||
| They are so embedded in the city, they'll never get them out of the city. | ||
| There's more rats in New York City than there are human beings. | ||
| You take them coyotes down there. | ||
| They won't be able to do anything. | ||
| There'll be a lot of coyotes in New York City, and they'll eat a lot of rats. | ||
| They'll never put a dent in the population. | ||
| Yeah, because rats are always fucking... | ||
| They get underground, too. | ||
| They get underground. | ||
| They get in the pipes. | ||
| They get in the walls. | ||
| They get in the buildings. | ||
| They find little tiny holes. | ||
| They can compress their body to get through a tiny little hole, just about as big as their face. | ||
| They can get through that. | ||
| They'll chew through the walls, chew through pipes. | ||
| Rats go everywhere. | ||
| They'll go up your fucking toilet. | ||
| So one time, I just gave birth to my daughter by my husband. | ||
| So he go down to the kitchen where we just got our kitchen remodeled. | ||
| So these rats done chewed through the baseboard. | ||
| So my husband come tipping back upstairs. | ||
| I said, what's wrong? | ||
| He said, I need my fucking shoes. | ||
| I said, what's wrong? | ||
| Fucking rats. | ||
| And there was two rats in the kitchen. | ||
| And they just having a good time. | ||
| My husband, I go downstairs. | ||
| These fuckers ain't going to get my baby. | ||
| He jump up on the aisle. | ||
| Grab a can of tuna, Joe. | ||
| Threw the tuna and hit the fucking rat so hard upside the head. | ||
| That rat stood up his head and just stood up on his high leg and fell back. | ||
| The other rat looked like, oh, they killing niggas around here. | ||
|
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|
Jump back through that hole. | |
| Jumped back through that hole and we never had another rat coming off. | ||
| Really? | ||
| My husband hit that rat with a countertuner upside his head. | ||
| That motherfucker stood up from the pain and that other rat looks like, oh, I'm about this bitch. | ||
| He went back through that hole and he never came back, Joe. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| One countertuner got through the all-all rat problem. | ||
| That's effective. | ||
| I would have thought they would have come back. | ||
| Never came back. | ||
| Never had a problem. | ||
| Other problem I had was squirrels. | ||
| They used to fuck in my roof all the time. | ||
| You hear them up there? | ||
| I told my husband, I said, don't you want to do what they're doing? | ||
| He's like, she's a hoe. | ||
| And so one of them fell out the roof down in the house through the vent. | ||
| And boy, I was stuck in the house all day with my newborn baby because I was too scared to go downstairs because of the fucking squirrel. | ||
| My husband came home. | ||
| I said, it's a fucking squirrel down there behind the sofa. | ||
| He moved us over the squirrel around. | ||
| He kicked the squirrel so motherfucking hard, the squirrel laying in a tree. | ||
| I said, I've been stuck in this room all day for this bullshit, and you come kick the fucking squirrel in the ass, and it's over? | ||
| So I'm scared of rodents. | ||
| Well, no one's really scared of squirrels. | ||
| You're not scared of squirrels, man. | ||
| Yes the fuck I am. | ||
| They're cute. | ||
| They probably whoop your ass, too. | ||
| Yeah, but they're not aggressive. | ||
| Rats can be aggressive. | ||
| Nah, I've never heard of a squirrel biting anybody. | ||
| You ever heard of a squirrel biting anybody? | ||
| I'm quite sure squirrel bite people. | ||
| I'm quite sure if you fuck with a squirrel, they'll bite you. | ||
| But you have to probably have them trapped. | ||
| You know what squirrels do do? | ||
| They bite the nuts off other squirrels. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like when squirrels are trying to breed and there's another male squirrel bite, one squirrel will bite that squirrel's nuts off. | ||
| What? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's some hating shit. | ||
| Oh, hating shit. | ||
| They throw each other out of trees. | ||
| I've seen that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| One of them will try to be fucking, the other one will come over and just literally toss the other one out of a tree. | ||
| They'll fall 50, 60 feet and they land on the ground and they're fine. | ||
| They're like designed to fall out of trees. | ||
| Yeah, I've seen them almost getting hit all the time. | ||
| You ever see how far a squirrel can fall and be fine? | ||
| It's fucking crazy. | ||
| They fall, like really far, and hit the ground, and just screw back up the tree again. | ||
| You're such an interesting person. | ||
| Do squirrels bite testicles off other squirrels? | ||
| So has this been resolved? | ||
| The answer is no. | ||
| No, they don't. | ||
| So it was an old wives' tale? | ||
| Steve brought it up on a podcast. | ||
| He suggested in his topic as a fact checker on episode 206, I joked about everyone believes it because he said it so many times, is proven wrong when the Meteor inbox flooded with messages from listeners in Pennsylvania, Wisconsin, California, Kentucky, and everywhere in between, they told me that prior to Steve bringing it up, they'd heard this claim from granddads, uncles, cousins, neighbors, hunting mentors, and more. | ||
| Sigurd Olson's 1956 book, The Singing Wilderness, is the oldest written source of this claim. | ||
| In the book inspired by Lake Superior's beauty, Olson has an entire chapter dedicated to red squirrels. | ||
| I also know that owls like them as well as martens. | ||
| And they can throw the fear of death into larger gray squirrels should they invade through the convenient medium of castration. | ||
| Oh, so that's what he's saying. | ||
| I've literally watched squirrels for tens of thousands of hours in detailed behavior studies, including a hundred or more mating bouts. | ||
| In some instances, there were massive assemblances of dozens of males chasing a single female in estrus for seven to ten hours. | ||
| Through all of that, I never witnessed this happen. | ||
| The common folklore is just that, folklore. | ||
| So it's not true. | ||
| Thank God. | ||
| Cause those little nuts off them guys. | ||
| There's no scientific evidence or observation to support this, Odell said. | ||
| I've seen many squirrels fight over females and bite each other, but not specifically targeting the testicles. | ||
| In theory, a squirrel could bite off another's testicles, but it isn't common practice or a common occurrence and certainly doesn't warrant how often people believe they kill sackless male squirrels. | ||
| Okay, so I was spreading misinformation. | ||
| Thought it was real. | ||
| Because you had me, because I be listening to you, Joe. | ||
| Yeah, I think I probably learned it from Steve. | ||
| When you do that UFO shit, you scare the fuck out of me. | ||
| Oh, I had one the other day that was a real good one. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You saw one? | ||
| No, no, no, no. | ||
| Good UFO podcast. | ||
| James Fox. | ||
| He wrote a documentary about a UFO that crashed in Brazil. | ||
| Do you believe it? | ||
| I think I do. | ||
| I believe some of it. | ||
| I don't know what to believe. | ||
| I don't believe any of it 100%, but I get in the 90s. | ||
| I get in the high 90s. | ||
| You know, but the problem is, Pat, is that I want it to be real. | ||
| Why? | ||
| Because I think it's fun. | ||
| It's fun if it's real. | ||
| It's exciting that we're being watched. | ||
| What? | ||
| We are being watched. | ||
| The police, the FBI, the CIA. What the hell the fuck do you want? | ||
| Let them be your aliens. | ||
| I think the human race is being watched. | ||
| Yeah, by God. | ||
| Whatever's bigger than all of us. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't want to be watched by people with sunken faces, looking like crackhead and skinny and shit, with magical fingers that can go up our asses. | ||
| I don't want to be floated away and pushed on by a little bitty motherfucker with a head like this. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know, if you're going to kidnap me, be sexy. | ||
| At least be fuckable. | ||
| I don't know about the abduction stories. | ||
| I don't know how many of those are real. | ||
| I don't think that shit is real, Joe. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| The thing is, if it happened to a small number of people and it was by a super advanced intelligent civilization that is so far beyond us that we can't even imagine it. | ||
| How much evidence do you think they would leave behind? | ||
| Do you know how many times men has been cheating on women and told their wife they was abducted by aliens? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| That's why black women don't believe that shit. | ||
| Where you been, Ruben? | ||
| You been gone three weeks. | ||
| Oh, baby, this fucking alien came and got me. | ||
| All these fine bitches, they floated me out of space. | ||
| I told them I had you back at the house waiting on me. | ||
| Well, that's a different kind of story. | ||
| That's why black people don't... | ||
| That's why black women don't believe in aliens. | ||
| They daddy came home with them kind of stories. | ||
| He been gone two weeks. | ||
| He was a dog dick. | ||
| He was a dog dick. | ||
| How do you think you would feel if you saw one? | ||
| If you saw a UFO? I've seen motherfucking look like aliens all my life in my family. | ||
| Like, how you doing, Tyrone? | ||
| What's up, Jerome? | ||
| What it is, little Willie? | ||
| So you saw a UFO, you would just tell no one? | ||
| A UFO? Yeah. | ||
| Saw a real UFO. You're driving by yourself. | ||
| You're on the highway. | ||
| Let me say this. | ||
| In this damn time... | ||
| Something's hovering over your car. | ||
| Bright lights everywhere. | ||
| It could be Elon Musk with a new Tesla. | ||
|
unidentified
|
So... | |
| I just can't say that. | ||
| That might be Elon Musk's new shit that worked this time. | ||
| I'm not fucking gonna run and say it's no damn. | ||
| Until some people just jump out and say, you know, try to beam me up. | ||
| I mean, that's another reason why I stay on the plus side. | ||
| Because they're gonna have a lot of energy to lift me up. | ||
| That motherfucking UFO better be plugged up. | ||
| I don't believe in that bullshit. | ||
| You don't believe in it at all? | ||
| No. | ||
| You think we're alone in the universe? | ||
| No, we got stars. | ||
| Right, but do you think there's, on other planets, there's intelligent life? | ||
| The way the white people have suffered, I mean, been nosy on every planet, ain't nothing out there. | ||
| We're not that nosy on every planet. | ||
| We barely ever reach. | ||
| Well, whatever we can reach. | ||
| Yeah, but we're just starting to be able to reach in our solar system. | ||
| Yeah, but no, I don't think nothing out there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Nothing? | |
| Really? | ||
| We're alone in the whole universe. | ||
| Of infinite planets. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Infinite galaxies. | ||
| You ain't gonna pull me into that bullshit, Jordan. | ||
| I don't believe in no aliens. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I know some ugly ass people. | |
| I'm gonna stick to ugly ass people. | ||
| I don't think there's no extraterrestrial shit out there. | ||
| I don't think there's nobody coming to get us. | ||
| No, I don't. | ||
| What do you think these people are seeing when they're seeing like spaceships and shit? | ||
| They high. | ||
| They send new model calls, they dreaming, because if you put a lot of that shit in your head, you go to sleep and you dream about it. | ||
| Do you have any shit like that that you believe in that's illogical, like ghosts? | ||
| Nah. | ||
| You don't believe in ghosts? | ||
| I believe, I do believe the spirit floats around. | ||
| I do believe that. | ||
| I don't know, sometimes I, you know, how you see shit can happen. | ||
| I do believe the spirit hang around earth for a while. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| Yeah, before they go to their, if there's a place where they supposed to go. | ||
| So I do believe, I ain't never seen no ghosts. | ||
| Now my mama said she, her mama came back and called my granddaddy with his best friend. | ||
| Well, my mama stayed high, so I don't know. | ||
| But, nah, I don't... | ||
| I believe that there might be a ghost, but I don't believe there's no fucking aliens. | ||
| I believe your loved ones who have left and body can still be here on Earth with you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
How do you not believe in aliens in all the universe? | |
| You don't think there's another planet like us out there somewhere? | ||
| Nah. | ||
| This is it. | ||
| I think this is it. | ||
| This planet is so fucked up, God ain't got time for two of us. | ||
| So we better not fuck this up then. | ||
| We already fucked it up. | ||
| But have we really? | ||
| I mean, we're here right now. | ||
| Everything seems fine. | ||
| Everything's always seems fine until it hits you. | ||
| They ain't gonna never tell you the truth until it hits you. | ||
| What are you worried about? | ||
| Nothing. | ||
| What are you worried about it hitting? | ||
| Like, until it hits you? | ||
| I mean, you know, like the whole big thing was when people was like, oh, COVID ain't real. | ||
| Then that shit hit us and we like, oh, we didn't know what to do. | ||
| You know, people had, we had never experienced anything like this. | ||
| I mean, you know, we have been through a pandemic, but not this generation of people. | ||
| So we lost our fucking minds. | ||
| We definitely lost our fucking minds. | ||
| Yeah, we didn't even know how to be in the house with each other. | ||
| You know what's weird? | ||
| It was just a couple of years ago. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But it seems so long ago. | ||
| Like, imagine the idea now being locked in your house and all stores being closed. | ||
| That seems ridiculous. | ||
| It do. | ||
| But back then, it's like we had all adapted quickly. | ||
| That was what bothered me. | ||
| We were scared. | ||
| That's what bothered me. | ||
| It bothered me that everybody quickly started listening to the government and all those businesses shut down because of it. | ||
| All those people lost their businesses. | ||
| They weren't allowed to be open. | ||
| Even if they had COVID and got over it, it didn't matter. | ||
| Can't have a business open. | ||
| Too dangerous. | ||
| And they just let the economy crumble. | ||
| They just let 70% of all Los Angeles restaurants just went away forever. | ||
| That's a giant number of restaurants. | ||
| Small businesses, mom-and-pop stores couldn't keep it open. | ||
| We're just barely getting by as it was. | ||
| Joe, I think a lot of people took that money and got the fuck on. | ||
| It was their way out. | ||
| Because the government gave a lot of money away. | ||
| Did they? | ||
| How much did they give away? | ||
| They gave a lot of money away. | ||
| I know a lot of people have fake businesses. | ||
| That's why they're locking them up now. | ||
| Yeah, that's true. | ||
| And it was like they opened up the bank and said, take all you want. | ||
| We want you to survive, but we're going to lock your ass up if you're lying. | ||
| What is that lawsuit that I see that's going on right now, the criminal trial with the dude from the Fugees? | ||
| What is that? | ||
| Do you know that story? | ||
| He was an FBI snitch. | ||
| What? | ||
| I think he's a double agent or something. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Because apparently Tupac said back in the day he knew he was an FBI or something like that. | ||
| Tupac said he was FBI back in the day? | ||
| Nobody listened to Tupac. | ||
| Tupac's mother was a Black Panther. | ||
| Maybe they should have listened. | ||
| They should have. | ||
| So he came out, he was really an FBI agent, right? | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Was he really an FBI agent? | |
| Fuji Rapper. | ||
| Fuji Rapper Pross testifies he met and shared information with the FBI voluntarily. | ||
| On who? | ||
| So Jeff Sessions' testimony was not exciting. | ||
| The defense basically had him describe an official legal process for considering extraditing Guao at China's request. | ||
| The apparent idea was to suggest that there was nothing so bad in Pross and company trying to have Guao sent back to China. | ||
| Pross is testifying in his own defense. | ||
| Told the judge, after consulting with my attorneys and the universe, I decided that I will testify. | ||
| Oh, he consulted with the universe. | ||
| I like how people talk like that. | ||
| He's facing 10 charges, including conspiracy, witness tampering, and failing to register as an agent of China. | ||
| What? | ||
| Who the fuck is Cha? | ||
| I mean, Gua. | ||
| He's an agent of China. | ||
| The black dude? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| That guy was a billionaire he was talking about. | ||
| Oh, uh, okay. | ||
| Well, on the stand, Pross addressed his alleged efforts to get the U.S. to extradite Chinese billionaire Gua Wengui. | ||
| In addition, he denied acting as an agent for China. | ||
| I took it upon myself to report because I thought the FBI should know, he testified. | ||
| Before his trial started, the 50-year-old artist told Rolling Stone, what benefit would I get trying to break laws? | ||
| It's not worth it to me. | ||
| I'm like a pariah now. | ||
| I've got friends who won't talk to me because they think there's a satellite in orbit listening to them. | ||
| To be clear, Pross never testified in the stand that he was an FBI informant. | ||
| His approach to the FBI to discuss Guo Wengui and three Americans held in China was completely voluntary. | ||
| If convicted, Pross serves 22 years in prison. | ||
| What do they think he did? | ||
| That's what I don't understand. | ||
| What are they accusing him of? | ||
| Okay. | ||
| It says, they allege the veteran Reimer was the middleman for alleged crimes, including a secret lobbying campaign to help Malaysian billionaire Joe Lau put pressure on American justice officials and White House officials when his fraud scheme unraveled and to help the Chinese government secure the return of a dissident who's living inside the U.S. I don't know none of that shit, man. | ||
| I'm not exactly sure what he did. | ||
| Me neither. | ||
| I still don't know what he did. | ||
| I know. | ||
| Everybody's like, he's an FBI. Everybody got a side job. | ||
| But it seems like then he wasn't even informed. | ||
| He went to the FBI because he felt like they should know that. | ||
| Which is like, Jesus, you're opening up. | ||
| The shit that goes on. | ||
| See why I mind my business? | ||
| See why I say if it's aliens out there? | ||
| Hey, if they out there, all I say, when you come to our country, pay your taxes. | ||
| I don't think they're paying shit. | ||
| Well, I mean, I don't want to pay shit. | ||
| If I looked at what I think about aliens, I think they're monitoring us because we're a highly sophisticated society that might blow itself up. | ||
| I don't think that's why they're here. | ||
| Oh, Joe. | ||
| Ain't no fucking aliens here. | ||
| You don't think so? | ||
| Here's a different explanation. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| Bringing the Tupac thing I just brought up. | ||
| Tupac lyrics fueling a conspiracy theory after Fuji's member Pross admits he was an FBI informant. | ||
| The hip-hop world was shocked when Pross... | ||
| How do you say his last name? | ||
| Mikkel or... | ||
| Michele? | ||
| Michele. | ||
| One of the founding members of the legendary group, the Fugees, admitted he was an FBI informant during his federal conspiracy trial in Washington, D.C. Pross is accused of conspiring to make illegal campaign contributions using foreign funds from a Malaysian fugitive, Zhao Lo, who is also wanted for his role in a massive corruption scandal involving billions of dollars. | ||
| So he got tied up with the wrong people. | ||
| Yeah, and it says somewhere around here, like the... | ||
| A cryptic line from a song in 96 is something about what the Fugees were trying to do to him. | ||
| Speculating that. | ||
| Tupac was aware of Pross' involvement with the FBI and that he was exposing him as a snitch. | ||
| It's like the internet runs wild. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| So that's like open to interpretation. | ||
| Not a bad side gig if it comes with health care. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Side gig working for the FBI? If it comes with health care. | |
| They seem to all go to jail anyway. | ||
| Pretty much. | ||
| Yeah, those FBI informants, it seems like a lot of those guys wind up going to jail anyway. | ||
| What is it? | ||
| When they protect you for the rest of your life. | ||
| Witness protection? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's real fun. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You gotta live in the middle of nowhere with a fake name. | ||
| Just stay at home. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wait to die. | |
| Let me get killed. | ||
| I just gotta go to one more club. | ||
| There's a little better explanation, maybe? | ||
| Currently facing up to 22 years in prison for conspiracy witness tampering and the failing to register as an agent of China, Mitchell was first accused of federal crimes December of 2018. Although he would eventually plead not guilty in May of 2019, Michelle was allegedly involved in helping Malaysian business mogul, that's what we already know, embezzle over $4.5 billion from the Malaysian government and use it to fund Barack Obama's 2012 re-election campaign. | ||
| What? | ||
| So he stole money, and then when he gave money, he was a big dog to Obama campaign? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| Well, they do shit like that just to protect themselves from future prosecution. | ||
| That's what FTX did, that cryptocurrency exchange that went under. | ||
| They were the number two donor to the Democratic Party. | ||
| They were just donating money like crazy. | ||
| It's like, leave us alone. | ||
| Where are you from? | ||
| We're going to give you some money. | ||
| They're making billions of dollars off these nonsense crypto monies. | ||
| Did you invest in that shit? | ||
| Very little. | ||
| I have some Bitcoin. | ||
| Along with asking Trump to dismiss Lowe's previous crime, Michelle also reportedly worked on behalf of the Chinese government to try to return a Chinese dissident back from the U.S. by establishing a relationship with Steve Bannon and Trump. | ||
| Wow. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hmm. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Okay, before Michele... | ||
| What's Leonardo DiCaprio got to do with anything? | ||
| ...decided to testify on April 18th. | ||
| Iconic actor Leonardo DiCaprio was called to stand on April 3rd. | ||
| Considering he had a previous relationship with both Lowe and Michele, DiCaprio testified that Lowe revealed to him his plans to make donations to the Democratic Party in 2012. That whole donating to political party shit is so slippery. | ||
| That shit is so slippery. | ||
| What kind of weird deals are you guys making? | ||
| You know they're making weird deals. | ||
| When small people like me donate, I don't get shit but a sticker. | ||
| You get a sticker? | ||
| That's all I ever got when I donated to the Democratic Party. | ||
| They're peddling influence. | ||
| The first one we said said he didn't say he was an informant, but everything else has said the opposite. | ||
| Well, informant means he had a conversation with them and he gave them information. | ||
| He informed them, right? | ||
| You could technically say he's an FBI informant if he went to them with information. | ||
| Oh, even if it's voluntary. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Admitting that he was an informant for the FBI, Michelle elaborated that he gave up information about U.S. hostages in China while at the same time being a liaison for China who was working to get a Chinese criminal billionaire extradited back from the U.S. If this sounds like a big ugly mess, it's because it is. | ||
| It seems like he just got caught up in some shit where he's probably trying to make some money. | ||
| And they thought it would be clean, and we're going to donate money to the Democratic Party, and oh, it was great, working with all these people. | ||
| Hey, Leonardo was working with them. | ||
| Oh, must be fine. | ||
| And that's one of the ways they get people involved in these very shady deals as they do it with other famous people. | ||
| Like, hey, he's in there. | ||
| You should be in there. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| I'll have to hang out with Leo. | ||
| Next thing you know, you're involved in some weird thing that's got you testifying in front of Congress. | ||
| One thing you can guarantee, Joe Rowan, I'm never coming to an alien party with you. | ||
| I love you, but you can have that shit on your own. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| If the aliens come, you're the first person I'm coming to. | ||
| I'm like, we're going to Atlanta. | ||
| If they grab me, and I'm like, we're real. | ||
| Who are we going to tell? | ||
| I'm like, we're going to go. | ||
| Found guilty on all ten counts. | ||
| International fraud trial. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's not good. | |
| He was convicted guilty on 10 counts related to what prosecutors called a clandestine foreign intelligence campaign scheme funded by a wealthy Malaysian financier to peddle influence in the United States. | ||
| See, that's what I'm talking about. | ||
| They're peddling influence. | ||
| The week-long trial saw witnesses like Leonardo DiCaprio and former Attorney General Jeff Sessions take the stand and testify under oath. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| He's fucked. | ||
| So that Malaysian guy is still at large. | ||
| And he was charged as a co-defendant in Michele's case and played a major role in witness testimony and evidence presented to the jury. | ||
| According to the Justice Department, Laos, I don't know, did you say it low or low? | ||
| Allegedly misappropriated over $500 million from the Sovereign Wealth Fund, one Malaysian development, Berhad. | ||
| With wire transfers to shell companies he and others used or owned. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| So, he's fucked, man. | ||
| If they made him... | ||
| He's going to jail. | ||
| 22 years, I think it says. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| 22 years. | ||
| What is he, 50? | ||
| Fuck. | ||
| He might not make it off that type of food. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I think... | |
| How many of those are going on where people aren't getting arrested, though? | ||
| Like, how much of that influence-peddling shit is just... | ||
| It's been going on from the start. | ||
| Forever. | ||
| This ain't nothing new. | ||
| I just don't... | ||
| I'm still confused as to how he's in trouble. | ||
| Me too. | ||
| He connected people that were trying to get a billionaire released. | ||
| He became friends with Trump to try to get a guy released. | ||
| No, but Obama. | ||
| Well, he was just giving the money to Obama. | ||
| He tried to establish a relationship with Steve Bannon and Trump. | ||
| And Jeff Sessions. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| How weird. | ||
| Not weird. | ||
| It's just what goes on with our government. | ||
| I know, but he's from the Fuji. | ||
| He's like, bro, aren't you busy? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Shouldn't he be touring? | |
| He should have turned that shit into a song. | ||
| To get a picture with Obama. | ||
| Lau paid Michelle $20 million in 2012 in order to get a picture of himself with Obama, and prosecutors alleged that Michelle funneled over $800,000 of that money to Obama's campaign through a number of straw donors. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa! | |
| So he made a deal where this guy gave him $20 million. | ||
| He said, I'll get you a picture with Obama. | ||
| You got to give me $20 million. | ||
| And he said to Obama, listen, I'll give you $800,000. | ||
| He didn't say that to Obama. | ||
| He just made up all these accounts and their money. | ||
| Yeah, but I mean, they must have had something. | ||
| He funneled that money through a number of straw donors. | ||
| That seems to me like that's how they would do it. | ||
| When somebody donate that type of money, you want to know who it is. | ||
| It's not like me who give you $20 and say no to the next $20. | ||
| But they did it through these hidden things. | ||
| Over $100 million, it says. | ||
| So he knew what he was doing. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| According to prosecutors, Lowe directed over $100 million to Michelle to help push the government, including Trump, to drop its investigation into Lowe. | ||
| Prosecutors also say that Michele advocated for the extradition of Chinese dissident Guo Wendui on behalf of the Chinese government. | ||
| He said he gave him $100 million for a media business he was starting. | ||
| Can you imagine the Fuji? | ||
| They ain't had a song in years, but they looking at him like, how is he living like that? | ||
| Right. | ||
| The rest of the group, like, what the fuck is he over there doing? | ||
| We ain't had a hit album since 93. I know, right? | ||
| Early 2000. How is he living like that? | ||
| All this time, he got a friend named Lowe who's sending him a million through wire. | ||
| He ain't telling nobody. | ||
| He pulling up in new calls, and you're like, I know everybody else in the group like, nigga, what you up to? | ||
| What the fuck you doing? | ||
| But he didn't tell nobody. | ||
| Thank God he didn't. | ||
| I'm working on international policy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
People are like, what? | |
| I'm running for Congress. | ||
| I'm influence peddling. | ||
| No, he didn't say all that. | ||
| He said, I got a donor. | ||
| What a dirty business politics is. | ||
| The fact that no one's mad at Obama for that. | ||
| No one's mad at anybody who's getting the Democratic Party getting all that money. | ||
| They don't have to give it back. | ||
| No. | ||
| All the money that got funneled from them, imagine if that got funneled to another person. | ||
| That person would be in trouble. | ||
| It would be. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But you get funneled to the Democratic Party like, hey, we're helping the good guys. | ||
| The Republicans do the same thing. | ||
| Everybody does. | ||
| Everybody does. | ||
| The idea that there's two teams fighting against each other, for sure, for temporary control while they all share resources. | ||
| If you look at the number of congresspeople that are insider trading, it's everyone. | ||
| It's across the board. | ||
| It's red and blue. | ||
| It's like Republican, Democrat. | ||
| They're all in there. | ||
| They're all in cahoots. | ||
| They're all pretending. | ||
| They're all pretending they're working for us. | ||
| They hate each other. | ||
| They play like they hate each other. | ||
| But yeah, you sneak up over one of their house and there's Mitch McConnell at, what's her girl's name who just left? | ||
| Nancy Pelosi? | ||
| Nancy Pelosi House. | ||
| Getting drunk. | ||
| Talking about all the shit they did. | ||
|
unidentified
|
How much you make off an apple? | |
| I'm sorry, your husband got his ass whooped. | ||
| They wasn't supposed to go that far. | ||
| Did you see that video? | ||
| Did you watch that video? | ||
| I did not watch that video. | ||
| At first, I was like, what is going on? | ||
| How's this person in the house? | ||
| What's going on? | ||
| And then you watch the video and go, oh, that's a legit crazy person with a hammer that was in this dude's house. | ||
| And he was trying to calm the guy down. | ||
| And everything was calm until the cops came. | ||
| And the cops go, give me the hammer. | ||
| He goes, nope. | ||
| And then he just cracks the old dude in the head with a hammer. | ||
| Knocks him out cold. | ||
| The guy's snoring on the ground. | ||
| The cops are like, oh, shit. | ||
| And they tackle the guy and get the hammer from him. | ||
| He hit him in the fucking head with a hammer. | ||
| And that dude's 80 years old. | ||
| Yeah, I didn't watch the video. | ||
| I didn't even know it was a fucking video. | ||
| Yeah, you wanna watch it? | ||
| I'll show it to you. | ||
| You wanna see it? | ||
| You ain't shit, Joe. | ||
| You actually want to show me an 80-year-old man and get his fucking head cracked open. | ||
| I've only watched it five or six times. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I can watch it again. | |
| I'm quite sure you have. | ||
| Tell the truth 50 or 60 times. | ||
| Well, because there was a lot of people that there was a baseless conspiracy theory that he was having a relationship with this man. | ||
| That's why the man was in the house. | ||
| But there's video that shows this man broke into his house. | ||
| There's video of the man using the hammer to break the back door. | ||
| So he breaks. | ||
| He's hitting the hammer. | ||
| Why wasn't he calling the police then? | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| How does this guy not have better security? | ||
| I mean, how does it, first of all, how does he not have a gun? | ||
| How does he not have better security? | ||
| How does he not hear? | ||
| This guy smashed this fucking door open. | ||
| Look, he climbs right through after he smashes the window. | ||
| So he's in the house. | ||
| And so he's standing, look, give me the volume. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What's going on, man? | |
| See, he's holding the hammer while he's talking. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Drop the hammer. | |
| Um, nope. | ||
| Hey, hey, hey, hey. | ||
| What is going on around? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ooh! | |
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ow! | |
| Shit! | ||
| Yo. | ||
| Rough, right? | ||
| Oh my god, I've never seen this video! | ||
|
unidentified
|
You hear him snoring? | |
| Oh my god! | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's what it sounds like. | ||
| Have you ever heard someone get knocked out? | ||
| Not like that! | ||
| That's what it sounds like when people get knocked out. | ||
| They start snoring. | ||
| That's that good sleep. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Not in his case. | |
| I bet he has some fucking nightmares. | ||
| The way he hit him with that hammer, there was no space for dreams. | ||
| That's why he was snoring like that. | ||
| Went right to the darkest realms of your consciousness. | ||
| Is he okay? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I don't know how he could be. | ||
| When you're that old and you get knocked out that bad, that could potentially have Consequences that will last you for as long as you're alive, for the rest of your life. | ||
| Who called the police? | ||
| He did. | ||
| Yeah, he called the police to say this guy's in his house. | ||
| And by the time the police got there, him and the guy were like, he's holding onto the hammer while the guy had the hammer as well. | ||
| But he's also got a drink in his hand. | ||
| He's having a conversation with this guy. | ||
| So why did the guy say he broke in the house? | ||
| He's a crazy person. | ||
| Just a crazy person. | ||
| That's like that man who went over to that pizza shop to say Hillary Clinton was... | ||
| Pizzagate. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They had children locked up in the basement. | ||
| And went in there and fucked around in that pizza shop. | ||
| Didn't he fire off a round? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think he fired off a round. | ||
| And one of the kids at the basement. | ||
| And there's no basement. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No basement? | ||
| No. | ||
| There's no basement. | ||
| Nobody makes kids pieces. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What the fuck was wrong with these people? | ||
| That's what happened when you listen to all this bullshit. | ||
| They get online and they get in these conspiracy forums and they really believe because it's exciting to believe in shit. | ||
| Just like it's exciting to believe in aliens, it's exciting to believe that the government's run by lizard people and pedophiles and they're sacrificing children. | ||
| Drinking blood. | ||
| Basement of a pizza place. | ||
| They say stars drink blood so they look younger. | ||
| See, meanwhile, the Dalai Lama's out there getting people to suck his tongue, and no one's going to visit him. | ||
| You know, it's weird. | ||
| Like, what people decide, like, you're seeing something right in front of your face, and there's barely a blip of outrage, and then it goes away. | ||
| Boy, they know not to fuck with them monks. | ||
| I guess. | ||
| They would get their ass beat in Balfour style. | ||
| You think so? | ||
| They don't want no shoes, right? | ||
| Yeah, they wear like these little tiny shoes sometimes. | ||
| But the majority of the time, they're bad for it, right? | ||
| Little kung fu slippers. | ||
| Yeah, but they take them shoes off and whoop them white people's ass coming right now and I'm talking about why he suck a tongue. | ||
| You know my fucking business. | ||
| Oh, Miss Pat. | ||
| I miss you. | ||
| I miss you too, Joe. | ||
| It's so good to have you around again. | ||
| It's so good. | ||
| We're going to have some fun tonight too. | ||
| I can't wait to show you the club. | ||
| You're going to love it. | ||
| I can't wait to come. | ||
| I've been hearing nothing but great things. | ||
| Oh, you're going to love it. | ||
| They're going to love you, too. | ||
| They're real comedy fans. | ||
| They're the best. | ||
| It's been so much fun. | ||
| I get a lot of your fans come out to the show. | ||
| I can tell them. | ||
| They all fit and must, and they drink water, and they're bald-headed. | ||
| I'll be like, you hear from Joe Rogan at you? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I can tell Burt fans, they all fat and hairy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| All Tom Segura people, they come there on a diet now because Tom looking all good and shit. | ||
| Tom looks good! | ||
| Tom looks so good! | ||
| He looks so fucking good. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| I'm so proud of him. | ||
| I'm like, damn, Tom, you gonna turn back the hands of time, ain't you? | ||
| When I met Tom, Tom was like this struggling comedian who lived in a terrible neighborhood, like lived in... | ||
| This real shitty apartment, and they had no money. | ||
| And to see him now, handsome, fit Tom, ballin' out of control, it's amazing. | ||
| It's so beautiful to see. | ||
| He comes by the club all the time. | ||
| He lives here now. | ||
| I know he do. | ||
| I know he do. | ||
| Have you visited them? | ||
| Have you done their show over here? | ||
| No, I haven't. | ||
| I haven't. | ||
| They got a great studio. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's nice. | |
| I know. | ||
| They had a nice one when they was in L.A., when they bought that big old beautiful house. | ||
| Because when I first met them, you know, I think they... | ||
| Did they have a baby? | ||
| I don't even know if she had a baby yet. | ||
| But they was in their little basement. | ||
| She was pregnant. | ||
| They was in their little basement apartment. | ||
| And to see them now, I was like, ooh, give me hope. | ||
| Yeah, they love it out here, too. | ||
| They love it out here. | ||
| I bet you they do. | ||
| You can get so much more for your money. | ||
| And there's no state taxes, and people are friendlier. | ||
| There's so many pluses. | ||
| The people-friendlier thing is big. | ||
| It's big for me. | ||
| Not fake. | ||
| No. | ||
| They're just genuinely friendly people. | ||
| And they're not Hollywood. | ||
| There's nothing, there's no influence of Hollywood out here. | ||
| It's like all just Texas folks. | ||
| Just good old Texas folk like to eat. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| Good music, nice people. | ||
| I've never been in a place I like more. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yep. | ||
| That's how I feel about my home in Atlanta. | ||
| That's beautiful. | ||
| You know, we speak, you know, we have all issues, but it's fun. | ||
| Yeah, you're perfect for Atlanta. | ||
| You're perfect for a radio show in Atlanta. | ||
| They just gotta let you swear. | ||
| Come on, XM. Joe Rogan said I need an XM show. | ||
| Yeah, XM. Come on. | ||
| Get it together. | ||
| You do. | ||
| Let's put in the universe, since you got stalls in your fucking ceiling, HGTV show first. | ||
| That's what I really want to do. | ||
| Yeah, you really want to do a home improvement show. | ||
| I think that would be a great show. | ||
| Hey, with real language, feeling, stop lying, telling people it costs you $50,000 to knock down a wall. | ||
| Look, we're going to knock down this fucking wall with a hammer and a nail. | ||
| Let's get to work. | ||
| You tag down, I'll help you put it back. | ||
| Listen, I think that would be a big show. | ||
| It would be. | ||
| It'd be great. | ||
| It's a perfect vehicle for you, too, because you actually love that stuff. | ||
| Yes, I do. | ||
| You're a fucking general contractor. | ||
| I am. | ||
| I am. | ||
| My house is up. | ||
| Show Joe my house before we go. | ||
| Can you go to my Instagram? | ||
| It's called the Miss Pat Project. | ||
| Nice. | ||
| You can see it. | ||
| And I'm proud because my husband thought I was a fucking fool when I hired an architect. | ||
| He's like, Pat, hire a general contractor. | ||
| I said, nope. | ||
| I'm going to say, I don't want to give him 20% of my money. | ||
| I hear you. | ||
| You could do it. | ||
| If you could do it, then you did it. | ||
| It was hard because I had no idea what the fucking elevation certificate was. | ||
| I had no idea you had to get dirt samples before you can build on land. | ||
| And I was like, what are you testing for? | ||
| So the guy come over and stick this thing down in the ground, pull out dirt. | ||
| You good? | ||
| I paid you $500 for that shit? | ||
| Here we go. | ||
| That's the doghouse! | ||
| That's the doghouse? | ||
| That's insane! | ||
| Those dogs are living large! | ||
| Look at that doghouse! | ||
| That's the best doghouse I've ever seen! | ||
| That's incredible! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Look how peaceful your yard looks! | |
| That doghouse is fucking radical! | ||
| That's some shit. | ||
| It's got four kilnals. | ||
| It has a washing machine. | ||
| It has two doors, a front and back door. | ||
| And it has... | ||
| I can't wait to show y'all what we did on the inside, or what I did on the inside. | ||
| Miss Pat, we're going to talk when those dogs get big. | ||
| And you're going to be like, Joe Rogan, you warned me. | ||
| Oh, Joe. | ||
| I'm getting them training now. | ||
| It's so fucking expensive. | ||
| Somebody has to be on them all the time. | ||
| It's like you got three alphas living with you. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They want to run shit. | ||
| And that's what they're teaching us. | ||
| That's what they're teaching us. | ||
| Yeah, they want to run shit. | ||
| You've got to impose discipline on them. | ||
| I have a golden retriever. | ||
| You don't have to do nothing to that dog. | ||
| That dog just wants to be your friend. | ||
| You don't have to ever worry about him being aggressive. | ||
| He's just a sweetheart to everybody. | ||
| Anyone who comes over to the house. | ||
| If you came over to the house, it was like he's known you his whole life and he hasn't seen you in a year. | ||
| You'd be like... | ||
| He starts wagging his tail and circling you. | ||
| He's so happy. | ||
| I don't have to worry about him. | ||
| I love this dog. | ||
| But that's what I love about him. | ||
| Because I've had dogs in the past. | ||
| I had a bunch of pit bulls. | ||
| I had a Mastiff. | ||
| The pit bulls were the most sketchy. | ||
| Because there was certain things, you couldn't fuck with them. | ||
| You couldn't in any way test them. | ||
| If someone came over the house, they had to walk up to that person, make sure they're cool, they had to check you out, sniff you. | ||
| Okay, you're cool. | ||
| But they're not just instantly accepting you. | ||
| Whereas my dog just accepts everybody. | ||
| He's not a guard dog at all. | ||
| But those carne corsos, they're gonna test people. | ||
| Especially if they don't get exercise. | ||
| Well, we do. | ||
| They're in training now. | ||
| That's why I built the dog house. | ||
| So they don't need my fucking house. | ||
| Each kiln is divided. | ||
| And then they'll be able to run in a yard. | ||
| So I have somebody to come over and give them a bath and stuff like that. | ||
| You know, you can set up for them. | ||
| Set up like an obstacle course for them. | ||
| Dogs love shit like that. | ||
| Things that they can climb on and do things to. | ||
| Those are like thinking, working dogs. | ||
| Like, they need activities. | ||
| I was thinking about putting them on a little playground back. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The doghouse you just saw, that's going to be gated in, too, and so is the kennel. | ||
| Nice. | ||
| So they're not just going to be able to run free. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, let them run free sometimes. | ||
| I mean, they got all the yard there. | ||
| They're not going to come in my fucking house. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Do you have anything out there, like wild pigs or anything in that area? | |
| No, but we got a lot of shit back there by the lake. | ||
| Snakes and coyotes and wild turkeys. | ||
| Guarantee you they're going to start killing shit. | ||
| As soon as they can get bigger. | ||
| How many acres you have? | ||
| Seven. | ||
| That's a lot of room to kill things. | ||
| Well, as long as I don't bring that shit back to the house. | ||
| My dog just killed a turtle. | ||
| Really? | ||
| He came in the house with blood all over his face. | ||
| We thought something happened to him. | ||
| We went outside and he had taken a turtle apart. | ||
| He's a fucking golden retriever. | ||
| Sweetest dog in the world. | ||
| Tore a turtle apart. | ||
| Opened it up. | ||
| Got in it. | ||
| Got cuts all over his face. | ||
| He's clawing at the turtles trying to fight for its life. | ||
| Well, hopefully, you know, the trainer we hired is going to help us keep him in control. | ||
| I don't fuck with him because one of them is crazy. | ||
| Zeus is crazy. | ||
| And they like to jump up on you. | ||
| And they like to play with you, but they're so fucking heavy. | ||
| And like, get the fuck off of me. | ||
| And they love my husband. | ||
| They just rattle around him like he's the king. | ||
| Yeah, he's the alpha. | ||
| And they look at me like, who are you? | ||
| I'm like, excuse me, I just bought you dog food, bitch. | ||
| Do they listen? | ||
| You got to get them to listen to you. | ||
| They do. | ||
| Because they're in training. | ||
| They do. | ||
| But one of them sleep on his back. | ||
| And he whines. | ||
| He sleeps on his back like that? | ||
| On his back. | ||
| That's the weirdest shit I've ever seen. | ||
| Just nutsack dick hanging out. | ||
| I'm like, I got kids, dude. | ||
| You sleeping with your dick outside your shell? | ||
| My dog does that the moment he sees people. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, he wants to pet my belly. | ||
| Pet my belly. | ||
| He just lies on his back. | ||
| But one of them sleep on his back. | ||
| They don't like being in the cages because they're getting so big. | ||
| Of course, yeah. | ||
| But we'll be moved in the house soon. | ||
| That's nice. | ||
| When do you think you'd be done with all that? | ||
| By August. | ||
| The installation is going up. | ||
| It went up today. | ||
| That's exciting. | ||
| It is. | ||
| How long was the project from beginning to end? | ||
| I started, it's almost, it's a little over a year. | ||
| This is the first time you've ever done something like this, right? | ||
| This big. | ||
| I've remodeled my homes many times. | ||
| But you never built something from the I never tore a house down. | ||
| I didn't know anything about an elevation certificate like I told you. | ||
| All the stuff that the county took me through. | ||
| I remember right after the pandemic, I did the first floor and the guy charged me $20,000 more. | ||
| And I said, fuck you. | ||
| I know and I'm getting ripped off. | ||
| And I said, I stopped the project. | ||
| And I remember just saying, Lord, I need you to send me somebody. | ||
| Just can tell me how to fucking buy this flow. | ||
| Because this is not what I budget for. | ||
| And I called a lady by some doors. | ||
| A little white girl. | ||
| Her name is Allie. | ||
| Barnett and Cheevers. | ||
| It's a llama yard where I live at. | ||
| Out by Peachtree City. | ||
| And I called this llama yard. | ||
| And I'm talking to this lady. | ||
| I give her my email address. | ||
| I said, I'm going to send my husband up there. | ||
| My husband FaceTimed me. | ||
| She started trembling. | ||
| I'm like, what the fuck is wrong with her? | ||
| And so my husband's like, I think she knows you. | ||
| I said, I'm too far out for somebody to know who I am. | ||
| And she fucking heard me, I think on your podcast, and she bought my book. | ||
| And she knew exactly who I was, and she jumped right in, Joe, and helped me with my project. | ||
| Oh, that's beautiful. | ||
| Yeah, so we're like best friends. | ||
| We're going to the... | ||
| I take it anyway. | ||
| I was like, come go to Beyoncé concert with me, Ali. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, that's beautiful. | ||
| Bernice and Cheese, that's the name of her daddy, Lumberyard. | ||
| And she was like, I can get you this flow for way cheapo. | ||
| She helped me with the Lumber. | ||
| I learned so much from this young girl because her daddy owned a Lumberyard. | ||
| But she protected me because I knew I was getting ripped off from there. | ||
| And I was like, I'm not spending this kind of money for this fucking house. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And so now I've ordered Wonders. | ||
| I had ordered Wonders from a big department store. | ||
| You know, it's only two Lowe's at Home Depot. | ||
| I won't say which one because I love the store. | ||
| And I fought like a motherfucker to get my money back. | ||
| They fucked my Wonders up. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Did they install them? | ||
| No, I had ordered them and the person kept ordering them wrong. | ||
| 80 grand I spent. | ||
| And I finally got my money back from them. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, you know, you're going to learn things, too, in a project like that. | ||
| Then I got to tell you this before we go. | ||
| So my air-conditioned man came in and put my air-conditions in and ran off with my air-conditioned. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| He stole your air-conditioning? | ||
| Stole off a fucking unit. | ||
| But one text message, I took it. | ||
| They told me I could issue the one because he said, give me $40,000 and I'll be there with your air-conditioned unit. | ||
| Never showed up with the air-conditioned unit. | ||
| I was able to take him to court. | ||
| The judge gave my air-conditioned back. | ||
| The man went and put a damn lien on my million-dollar house. | ||
| Now I gotta go to court. | ||
| Now he's suing me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| It's a bullshit. | ||
| So just little shit like that you learn along the way. | ||
| You know, I've had a few bumps, but there was only two bumps so far. | ||
| Well, it's an amazing accomplishment. | ||
| And when you're in that house, you're going to really appreciate it. | ||
| I do appreciate it. | ||
| It's an amazing thing. | ||
| What I said is really true. | ||
| Like, you're very inspirational. | ||
| What you've done is very amazing. | ||
| You've got an incredible accomplishment. | ||
| And coming from your beginnings to where you are now, you should be proud. | ||
| I am. | ||
| And I built a whole house by myself with TikTok. | ||
| That's amazing. | ||
| Well, Miss Pat, I love you to death. | ||
| Is there anything else you want to tell people about? | ||
| You got anything coming up? | ||
| Oh yeah, I have my first theater tour, like I said earlier. | ||
| Your girl done made it. | ||
| Go to misspatcomedy.com to check it out. | ||
| Get tickets. | ||
| Hey, I'm coming everywhere. | ||
| And third season of the Miss Pat Show is streaming now on BET Plus, y'all. | ||
| And just, hey, become a crack baby on Facebook. | ||
| Get in there, kids. | ||
| Congratulations on everything. | ||
| And we're going to have fun tonight. | ||
| We're going to have fun tonight. | ||
| I'm excited. | ||
| I'm going to go put on a new wig. | ||
| I'm coming out to the mothership. | ||
| All right. |
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