March 24, 2023 - The Joe Rogan Experience
02:51:29
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| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
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unidentified
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Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out! | |
| The Joe Rogan Experience. | ||
| Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day! | ||
| What's happening, big dog? | ||
|
unidentified
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What's up, my man? | |
| Hey, first archery shot ever. | ||
|
unidentified
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Oh, that was cool. | |
| 40 yards with an 80-pound compound bow. | ||
| You got it right in the fucking vitals. | ||
| It was cool. | ||
| That's an amazing thing. | ||
| You should probably quit now. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, first of all, the bow's not even set up for you. | ||
| The way the bow is set up is for me, I have shorter arms than you. | ||
| You would have a longer draw length, so you have to kind of like move your body a little and you sent it that peep sight. | ||
| Bro, that's a long shot for a first shot ever in a bow, 40 yards in an indoor range. | ||
| And you got it right in the vitals. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Now what were you thinking when I struggled to pull it back? | ||
| Normal. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| Oh, that is a common thing that happened. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, you didn't have any excuses, at least. | ||
| Brian Callen had a fucking... | ||
| Wait, what did he say? | ||
| I'm reading a scroll of excuses. | ||
| My labrum... | ||
| Probably technique. | ||
| No, it's a strength thing. | ||
| I mean, it is technique, but it's just 80 pounds is 80 pounds. | ||
| It's a lot of weight. | ||
| I have a new respect for bow and arrow folks. | ||
| It's hard. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's very hard, but it's really satisfying. | ||
| Like, it puts in perspective, like, the people who can do it on horseback, you know, you see it in the movies and shit like that, and I don't know why I didn't think it was that hard, but... | ||
| Yeah, that's a next-level thing. | ||
| The horseback thing is crazy. | ||
| The Mongols would time their shot when the horse was in the air. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So when the horse was in the air, then they would release it. | ||
| Oh, mid-gallop. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| So there would be less disturbance, less jolt on their body. | ||
| So was that... | ||
| We always talk about, like, Genghis Khan and how he was able to take over the world. | ||
| Was the competitive advantage horseback weaponry? | ||
| They had a lot of things going for them. | ||
| They had strategy, first of all. | ||
| They had devious... | ||
| Wild strategies like they would set people up like they would they would send a small party out and those people would go after a small party and chase them down They would lead them into like a canyon filled with Mongols and just slaughter everybody and block the exit and yeah, | ||
| they would hold a siege They would attack a city and they would bring so much food and so much so many supplies They just camp outside outside the city to starve until everybody starved out And then they would start killing people and lighting them on fire and putting them on catapults and launching them over the walls and light their own houses on fire with the dead bodies of people they killed. | ||
| That's motivational. | ||
| Bro. | ||
| Those motherfuckers killed 10% of the population. | ||
| That's the crazy thing. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I always wonder about these times. | ||
| Like, what was, like, the Roman Empire's advantage? | ||
| You know, some people chalk it up to, like, Rhodes. | ||
| Like, why was Genghis Khan so effective? | ||
| But at a certain point in time, it has to be technology, right? | ||
| There was a lot, man. | ||
| A lot going on. | ||
| It was the knowledge of the recurve bow. | ||
| They were really good at recurve bows. | ||
| They had catapults. | ||
| Genghis Khan just had this unquenchable desire to take over the world. | ||
| It's really crazy that no one's scared of the Mongols now. | ||
| You know? | ||
| But then when one of those dudes fights in the UFC, you're like, Jesus. | ||
| Wait, who's Mongolian in the UFC? Let's see. | ||
| Who do we have? | ||
| The Mongolian murderer. | ||
| That's one dude. | ||
| But there's people from that Caucasus region of the world. | ||
| Like, there's a lot of people from Kazakhstan and Dagestan. | ||
|
unidentified
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Ah, so all the stands are remnants of the Mongolian Empire. | |
| Yeah, those guys that look a little Asian. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Rachmaninoff. | ||
| Yeah, Shavkat Rachmaninoff. | ||
| Shavkat Rachmaninoff, yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
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Woo! | |
| That motherfucker's so good. | ||
|
unidentified
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But they're just so tough over there. | |
| It's just crazy that they took over the whole world at one point in time. | ||
| And then it all went away. | ||
| That's a lesson for America to learn. | ||
| Because Americans have this idea that we are the centerpiece of the military of the world. | ||
| This is it. | ||
| This is the baddest fucking army that's ever existed, bro. | ||
| No one's gonna stop us. | ||
| But the reality is, like, every single civilization that has been in control has gone under. | ||
| They all go under. | ||
| Now, did those civilizations have nukes? | ||
| No. | ||
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unidentified
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No. | |
| That's the problem. | ||
| That's the tricky thing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The problem is if we go out, we go out ugly. | ||
| But unless China is clever and they slowly dismantle our power grid and slowly pollute our country with like bombing chemical factories and do it slow over a long period of time. | ||
| Like, if you were a real conspiracy theorist, like one of them Reddit tinfoil hat... | ||
|
unidentified
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Let's go deep! | |
| Let's go deep, my boy! | ||
| You would think that China would not do a big thing, but a constant series of small things that people get accustomed to. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| You know, cyber warfare, they would start hacking into Google servers, Amazon servers, crash everything, financial disruption, crash power grids, do it slow. | ||
| Do it over decades, you've got plenty of time. | ||
| As long as you don't nuke United States first, they're not gonna nuke you. | ||
| We already did that once. | ||
| We're not gonna do that. | ||
| If anybody is gonna be a first bomber, it's not gonna be us. | ||
| It's not going to be us. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's no way. | ||
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unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| That's a problem. | ||
| That's a strategic problem. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| Because we're all worried about Putin. | ||
| We're like, what if Putin gets back to the corner? | ||
| What if Ukraine starts winning? | ||
| What if this? | ||
| What if that? | ||
| What if Putin really does have cancer? | ||
| What if he decides to go out with a bang? | ||
| Like, we're worried about that. | ||
| No one's worried. | ||
| What if Biden just nukes China? | ||
| What if Biden's like, what's his TikTok? | ||
| You don't want to talk? | ||
| You don't want to talk? | ||
| You don't want to tell us about the code? | ||
| How about this? | ||
|
unidentified
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Boom! | |
| Never. | ||
| Never. | ||
| We would never think that the Biden administration would go and nuke someone. | ||
| Never. | ||
| And they know that. | ||
| And because they know that, they're comfortable. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| So you could do sneaky things. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I would do sneaky things. | ||
| If I was China, or if I was Russia, or if I was Iran, if I was some country that didn't like us, I would do sneaky things. | ||
| So is that the concern with TikTok? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| There was some fascinating conversations today. | ||
| Because it looks like they're going to ban it. | ||
| For sure, they're not telling the truth. | ||
| Like, the way this CEO was talking to the senator today is like, oh my god. | ||
| It's like, they just want to say whatever they have to say to get out of there. | ||
| Like, he doesn't answer the questions, he dances around, and the senator keeps trying to say, that's a yes or no question. | ||
| That's a yes or no question. | ||
| Like, these dudes have been sending data to China from day one. | ||
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unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| And they're doing something with that data. | ||
| They're accumulating. | ||
| They're finding out how coordinated our kids are. | ||
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unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| They got facial recognition on all of them. | ||
| That's what the dances are about. | ||
| They're just trying to find out how coordinated. | ||
| Imagine. | ||
| Bro. | ||
| Wow, every TikTok trend is just a little information about our youth. | ||
| Also, how easily led they are. | ||
| You could get them to that app. | ||
| Well, cloud is the currency. | ||
| It's cloud, but they have so many things going for them. | ||
| First of all, it's very easy to get a big following there. | ||
| It's very easy to get shared. | ||
| Instantaneous, it feels. | ||
| You can blow up, so that gets people excited about it and they use it. | ||
| And It's genuinely a really good portal for creativity. | ||
| Like some people do some interesting shit on there. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| I almost think it's our fault it's successful because we didn't think of it. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| Like, we need some responsibility here. | ||
| Like, why is another country coming up with the best form of social media? | ||
| That's on us. | ||
| We dominated social. | ||
| That's Adam Curry's theory. | ||
| What did he say? | ||
| Adam Curry doesn't believe it's any different in the way it gathers data than what the American social media platforms. | ||
| It's just a better distributor of that data. | ||
| He just thinks that, no, this is just China kicking our ass, and we want to stop them from doing that. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| That we're not doing things that are that much different than what they're doing. | ||
| I don't know if that's true. | ||
| Well, I don't know. | ||
| It's just Adam is very smart, though. | ||
| Yeah, no, I think that there's something to that. | ||
| It's like, you want to win the culture war, and we've done that so well, right? | ||
| Like, we had all these movies, these TV shows that, like, shared our culture around the world, and that culture was romantic. | ||
| It's sexy. | ||
| You go watch fucking Top Gun, you go watch Maverick, and you're just like, oh my god, how amazing is it to be American? | ||
| How about when Rocky wins with American shorts on? | ||
| Got American flag shorts on? | ||
| The best. | ||
| Away game, too. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
|
unidentified
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Like, over there running in the snow. | |
| If we can change, you can change! | ||
| We all change! | ||
| 30 years later, same fucking problem. | ||
| Same fucking problem! | ||
| Bro, I remember when that problem went away. | ||
| I remember when the wall came down, we were so relaxed. | ||
| It was amazing. | ||
|
unidentified
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Wait, wait, wait. | |
| Take me back to this. | ||
| So there's a time... | ||
| See, when I was in high school, okay, in the 1980s. | ||
| I was a freshman in 1981. And back then, we were terrified of war with Russia. | ||
| It was a terrifying fear of a nuclear war with the Soviet Union. | ||
| And break this down to me. | ||
| So it's like, you're watching the news and they keep... | ||
| Is there like fear-mongering? | ||
| Do you believe it? | ||
| Does it feel less propagandist? | ||
|
unidentified
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100% fear-mongering. | |
| 100% there was fear-mongering. | ||
| Look, it's always been, if it bleeds, it leads in the news. | ||
| You know, we talk about how bad the news is today, but the reality is, like, 5 o'clock news, when you get home from work, it was always the worst shit that happened. | ||
| Double homicide in Brooklyn. | ||
| It's always the worst shit of the day. | ||
| And also out of perspective, because it's the worst shit out of millions and millions of people, right? | ||
| But the big one was always Russia. | ||
| And you would see the Soviet Union, and you would see their leaders, and you would see their army, and it was terrifying. | ||
| They were the last great communist empire before China, right? | ||
| Before China really blew up militarily. | ||
| Back then, we weren't worried about China. | ||
| Everybody was worried about the Soviet Union. | ||
| And you felt fear? | ||
| A hundred percent. | ||
| I talked to my wife, and she's younger than me, and she felt the same thing. | ||
| And some of my other friends, I asked them, they grew up in different parts of the country, and they were like, oh, yeah, everyone was scared. | ||
| Scared of the fucking Russians, man. | ||
| Like, there was all those movies like Red Dawn, where the Russians invade, we kicked their fucking ass, send them back home! | ||
| You know, that was what everybody was afraid of. | ||
| And then the wall fell. | ||
| And so when the wall fell and the Soviet Union collapsed, we have to realize that was a monumental change in the world. | ||
| People relaxed. | ||
| We relaxed. | ||
| I was like, thank God. | ||
| There's no more war anymore. | ||
| So what year is this? | ||
| What year was the collapse of the wall? | ||
| What year did they blow? | ||
| I want to say... | ||
|
unidentified
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I want to say 89? | |
| 90? | ||
| So then the 90s comes on and then... | ||
| What year was it, Jamie? | ||
| 89. Okay, so 90s. | ||
| So the 90s come along and no one's worried about war anymore. | ||
| Is there a cultural apathy? | ||
| Well, there's a lot of bad things were made in the 90s. | ||
| Some of the worst American cars that have ever existed were made during the 90s. | ||
| We got real sloppy in the 90s. | ||
| I look at, like, one of the things I look about with America, like how in tune America is, what's their cars like? | ||
| What's their cars like? | ||
| So Space Race produces some of the most beautiful cars. | ||
| Space Race and psychedelic drugs. | ||
| So space race is what? | ||
| There's a direct correlation. | ||
| 60s? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| So you have all the cars that are coming out. | ||
| 50s too. | ||
| 50s, 60s. | ||
| 63 was when Kennedy says we want to put the first man on the moon. | ||
| So they're using all that crazy space influence or like spaceship influence on the cars and there's no restrictions, right? | ||
| Not much. | ||
| Not much space influence really. | ||
| I mean some of these big like, what is it, the big Cadillacs and stuff like that, they look like a fucking spaceship, right? | ||
|
unidentified
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They do. | |
| Yeah, the old ones. | ||
| And there was no restrictions, right? | ||
| Like, you didn't have to go, okay, it has to have this much gas mileage. | ||
| Right, none of that. | ||
|
unidentified
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No airbags. | |
| You could just make whatever the fuck you wanted to make. | ||
| And then, okay, so that goes away. | ||
| And then psychedelics are 70s. | ||
| Well, psychedelics are 60s. | ||
| Oh, yes. | ||
| And then in 1970, they passed this sweeping Schedule I psychedelic act that makes all those drugs Schedule I forbidden drugs. | ||
| All the drugs that are non-toxic, like psilocybin, like things that your body makes, like dimethyltryptamine, all those things become— That's DMT. Yeah, all those things become schedule one. | ||
| And then automobile design drops off a fucking cliff. | ||
| I mean, drops off a cliff. | ||
| It's not totally... | ||
| I mean, there's a correlation. | ||
| Maybe not totally the cause because it coincides with the gas crisis. | ||
| So there's a gas crisis. | ||
| Now you have to consider gas mileage in a car. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| That's interesting. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| So 70s is... | ||
| What happens? | ||
| When do we remove the gold standard from the dollar? | ||
|
unidentified
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That's... | |
| That's a good question. | ||
| 73 or something like that? | ||
| This is good tequila, dude. | ||
| This is yours? | ||
|
unidentified
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Not bad. | |
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| What's it called? | ||
| Los Sundays. | ||
| Dude, it's very tasty. | ||
| It's good, right? | ||
| The repo's crazy. | ||
| Yeah, it's very tasty. | ||
| I was prepared for some fucking antifreeze. | ||
| Nah, nah, nah. | ||
| That's good. | ||
| That's legit. | ||
| But yeah. | ||
| Yeah, and then we get... | ||
| What is it? | ||
| There's the whole, like, Petrodollar thing that comes on after that, where they have to... | ||
| I'm not aware of all that stuff. | ||
| I'm not good at that stuff. | ||
| I think this is just where we make the deal where it's like oil has to be sold in U.S. dollars and now we have a backing for the dollar when for a while we didn't, right? | ||
| When we removed that gold standard. | ||
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unidentified
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Who was it? | |
| Nixon that removed the gold standard? | ||
| 71. 71? | ||
| And now we're in that situation right now where most oil is sold in U.S. dollars and then those countries that decide not to, if we're going to get conspiratorial, those people who have decided maybe they won't sell it in U.S. dollars, they have difficulty staying in power. | ||
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unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| That's always been the game plan, right? | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| Hmm. | ||
| Hmm. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| What does that mean then? | ||
| We should have a real economist to work through this. | ||
| We'll fuck this up. | ||
| But also, we could just talk shit. | ||
| And it doesn't matter, because we're not experts, so we just stay nonsense. | ||
|
unidentified
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Exactly. | |
| It's so funny that people get upset by that. | ||
| Like, listen, this is a conversation that I would have whether or not cameras are on or not. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Don't take us seriously. | ||
| Yeah, you gotta be able to deal with that. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| Don't take anything we say seriously. | ||
| Bro, especially us. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| We're literally little professional clowns. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| I was messaging you, I think, about after we had Ben, Ben Van Kirkwick on the pod, and Uncharted X, the guy who was at the Pyramid. | ||
| Yes, yes, he's great. | ||
| He's great, and everybody was like, dude, it's so awesome. | ||
| Shane Gillis' dad showed up to the pod. | ||
| And I was like, what? | ||
| And I guess they think that he looks like Shane, an older version of Shane. | ||
| But what I loved about the pyramid conspiracy is that the stakes are so low, right? | ||
| There's no pedophilia. | ||
| Nobody's dying. | ||
| It's like, did it happen? | ||
| Did it not happen? | ||
| It's just, how old is this civilization? | ||
| That's it. | ||
| Is it 4,000? | ||
| Is it 10,000? | ||
| But do you know that even with that, because Graham Hancock has that whole series. | ||
| They call you racist. | ||
| He's calling him racist. | ||
| I'm not saying that black people didn't still do it. | ||
| It's just older black people. | ||
| 100% was black people. | ||
| It was 100% people in Africa. | ||
| The pyramids were 100% built by people who lived in Africa. | ||
|
unidentified
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That's it. | |
| All Graham Hancock is saying is that it's very likely that the entire world experienced a cataclysmic disaster around 11,820 years. | ||
| 12,000 years ago, somewhere in that range, and it knocked us back into the Stone Age. | ||
| But those people who were around before that were probably more sophisticated than we are. | ||
| We just have a hard time imagining that because we don't have any evidence of it. | ||
| And we just don't think that the execution matches up with the technology. | ||
| If we found some tech that would make sense, I think that we could go, okay, maybe this did happen 4,000 years ago or whatever it is. | ||
| So far, the idea of a chisel and a stone carving all these blocks and then people just dragging them in the sand, I think it seems a little bit unreasonable. | ||
| There's some real problems with that. | ||
| There's some real problems with the actual physical limitations of the size of these obelisks where they're cutting them in the mountains and they have to move them hundreds of miles. | ||
| How are you getting them out of the mountains? | ||
| What are you doing? | ||
| This is like 2,000 tons. | ||
| What the fuck are you saying? | ||
| You said it, I think I was listening to the pod with you guys, and you were like, if I was Elon Musk, I'd just build one. | ||
| And I get that to a certain extent. | ||
| I don't know if you could. | ||
| I really don't know if you could. | ||
| I think we could. | ||
| Do you know if you cut and place 10 stones a day, it would take you 664 years to make the pyramid? | ||
| That might be wrong. | ||
| But there's 2,300,000 stones in the Great Pyramid. | ||
| You need to go, man. | ||
| I know, I do. | ||
| You need to go. | ||
| It was the craziest thing that I've seen that humans have made. | ||
| Like, awe-inspiring. | ||
| Talking to Ben, talking to Randall Carlson, talking to Graham Hancock, I more and more think that we just have to use our imagination. | ||
| Because we're thinking of technology only as technology that we've implemented. | ||
| Like these microphones and cell phones and shit. | ||
| But it's possible there was a completely different branch of technology. | ||
| And they had figured out something that allowed them to manipulate enormous stones. | ||
| We just haven't figured it out yet. | ||
| I mean, just think about it like this. | ||
| Like, imagine there was this cataclysm, right? | ||
| Within a hundred years, this idea of Wi-Fi is non-existent to people. | ||
| It's a story that you tell. | ||
| So wait, what do you mean? | ||
| The internet? | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| It's just absurd. | ||
| It doesn't exist. | ||
| You can't hold on to it. | ||
| So right now we're looking for all these tools that you can hold on to and can build things with. | ||
| And that makes sense to us. | ||
| But we can't conceive of this technology that exists just in the air. | ||
| How would you describe Wi-Fi? | ||
| To some dude that you met in an Amazonian tribe. | ||
| You wouldn't. | ||
| You couldn't! | ||
| You couldn't. | ||
| It's the same way that like, do you fuck with the chat GPT thing at all? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Okay, I don't even know what to ask it because I'm not familiar enough with what AI can do. | ||
| So I would still ask it like Google questions because that's what I'm fluent in. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Does that make sense? | ||
| I think you can talk to chat GPT4 as if it's a god. | ||
| So I would just... | ||
| I got some questions. | ||
| Right? | ||
| On my clothes? | ||
|
unidentified
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Sure. | |
| Maybe chat GBT5? Can we chat GBT now? | ||
| If you tell it it's a god, it'll definitely start talking to you. | ||
| Wait, can we talk to it now? | ||
| Yeah, you can talk to it. | ||
| Hey, you know who invented Wi-Fi? | ||
|
unidentified
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Who? | |
| Hedy Lamarr. | ||
|
unidentified
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Who was that? | |
| The actress. | ||
| That's true, right? | ||
| It's not Bluetooth, right? | ||
| It was Wi-Fi she invented. | ||
| Is that correct? | ||
| Hedy Lamarr, who was this gorgeous actress... | ||
| She was a brilliant woman who had quite a few inventions. | ||
|
unidentified
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Technically both. | |
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
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Stunning. | |
| Although she died in 2000, Lamar was inducted into the National Inventors Hall of Fame for the development of her frequency-hopping technology in 2014. She did it way before 2014, though. | ||
| Such achievement has led Lamar to be dubbed the mother of Wi-Fi and other wireless communications like GPS and Bluetooth. | ||
| And why did she invent this? | ||
| For playback or something like that? | ||
| No, I think she was a scientist before she was an actress. | ||
| She was just hot and no one gave a fuck. | ||
| I mean, she is stunning. | ||
| She was so hot, yeah. | ||
| She was so hot. | ||
| Is that a function of art? | ||
| Do you know Lea Lamar, the stand-up? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| That's her relative? | ||
| Relative, yes. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Because I had this bit about Hedy Lamar in my act. | ||
| And Lea had to talk to you about it? | ||
| And Lea came up to me and she goes, I think it's either her grandmother or her great-aunt or something like that. | ||
| It's one of those. | ||
| But yeah, that's why. | ||
| And Lea's beautiful too. | ||
| But Hedy Lamar was a smoke show. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Back when they were dragging women around by their hair back then. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Dark ages. | ||
| Yeah, that's like slapping women in the movies was standard. | ||
| Yeah, there was early Bond films. | ||
|
unidentified
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Oh, God! | |
| Were wild, man. | ||
| You ever see Steve McQueen smack the shit out of... | ||
| Who was it? | ||
|
unidentified
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Ali... | |
| Who was the woman he did that movie with? | ||
| Ali Sheedy? | ||
| Is that who it was? | ||
| I forget who it was, the actress, but there's a scene where he's beating her fucking ass. | ||
| It's horrible. | ||
| Because he's actually hitting her. | ||
| And you could tell, like, she probably didn't know it was coming, and she's got to be in the moment. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
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Ally McGraw. | |
| Ally McGraw? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's horrible to watch, dude. | ||
| But this was, like, how men behaved. | ||
| Oh, this is the woman. | ||
| This is the actress. | ||
| Did you watch the, what is that show about the making of The Godfather? | ||
| No, I didn't see that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I know what you're talking about, but I didn't see it. | |
| It was brilliant. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| Why is the perspective all fucked up? | ||
| I'm not sure. | ||
| The perspective, everyone's all narrow. | ||
| Everyone has narrow heads and shit. | ||
| It's too bad. | ||
| She was a beautiful woman. | ||
| Give me some volume. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, you don't have headphones on. | |
| Oh, okay. | ||
| It's okay. | ||
| You don't have to give me... | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's actually playing. | |
| Let's back my bitch up. | ||
| This is horrible, man. | ||
| Like, he's actually hitting her. | ||
| Watch this. | ||
| He's actually hitting her. | ||
| And he's threatening to punch her in the face. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And she starts crying. | ||
| And he hits her again. | ||
| This was normal back then. | ||
| Yeah, I'm wondering, like, how common when you were a kid was it to see, like, a man hit a woman? | ||
| I think it was normal. | ||
| I think for all of human history it was normal until people started watching it. | ||
| And going, what the fuck? | ||
| Until media came along and you could see, I think people hit their kids, I think people hit their wives, I think people hit each other. | ||
| What was the transition, though? | ||
| Media. | ||
| Because people got to see it. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| And you just got to see it. | ||
| You didn't see what the kid did to get hit. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You just see the kid getting hit. | ||
| You're like, how could you? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You don't have to hit kids. | ||
| You don't have to hit kids. | ||
| You would never discipline. | ||
| Never. | ||
| You don't have to do that. | ||
| They want you to love them. | ||
| They make mistakes. | ||
| You've got to communicate with them. | ||
| I have a question about that. | ||
| What about when they are... | ||
| How do you communicate with a child before he understands verbal commands? | ||
| And how do you communicate right from wrong? | ||
| Well, I mean, before they understand verbal commands, you're talking about babies, right? | ||
| They can't even walk yet. | ||
| My daughter started talking when she was nine months old. | ||
| Is that early? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| She was walking then, too. | ||
| She was walking and talking very early. | ||
| One of my daughters. | ||
| But the other one was like a year. | ||
| But what I'm saying is, when their verbal commands are just learning things, They're babies. | ||
| They can't do anything. | ||
| They can't even run away from you. | ||
| They're little tiny babies. | ||
| So at that age, you're not even teaching right from wrong. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You are. | |
| You are, but you're talking to them. | ||
| You talk to them with sweetness, but I always try to talk to my children like they are an adult that I respect. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You're very sweet with the youth. | |
| I think it's important. | ||
| But it's a side of you that I don't know a lot of people see. | ||
| Like you had your niece at the club the other night, and you were so sweet with her. | ||
| And it was a cool side to see. | ||
| The club is just fantastic. | ||
| The club is wild, right? | ||
| It was so cool. | ||
| It's a dream, dude. | ||
| I know. | ||
| It's a dream that I didn't even have. | ||
| I didn't even have that dream. | ||
| I didn't want to own a club. | ||
| Yeah, no comic goes into it going, I want to own a club. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then you do it. | ||
| But it was an interesting thing. | ||
| I had this weird sensation I said yesterday about this. | ||
| I'm proud of you. | ||
| But I don't mean that in a patronizing way. | ||
| I'm genuinely proud of you. | ||
| But there's a specific thing, and I was thinking about this last night when I went back about the club. | ||
| And you kept talking about this way of funneling and nurturing talent. | ||
| You're like, yeah, these are the comics that are going to come up, and we're going to invest in these local Texas comics, and then they're going to go do these shows around the world, or around the country, and we're going to send, what is it, this is the mothership, the mothership presents, and it's in all these comedy clubs around. | ||
| And I thought of the club and I did both of the rooms and the rooms do separate things for committed growth. | ||
| That is really important. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That little room teaches intimacy and connection. | ||
| You can't just go up there and say words. | ||
| You have to connect with them. | ||
| Sometimes in big rooms you can just say words. | ||
| And you don't have to connect because the connection is a little bit off. | ||
| There's a little bit of a filter so you can perform, which is another thing you have to learn. | ||
| But the small rooms, which is a lot of the times the New York guys that we get really good at, is like, those laughs die quick. | ||
| So you better tag up that joke. | ||
| You better punch it up hard. | ||
| You better make sure you're cooking. | ||
| There's like a pace that you can kind of build. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So the small room, they get to learn how to really fucking put your foot on somebody. | ||
| You know, another thing that comes out of these rooms on the East Coast is the cold weather. | ||
| Cold weather makes people impatient. | ||
| They don't want to hear your bullshit. | ||
| It's freezing outside. | ||
| They want to go, go, go, go, go. | ||
| Jesus fucking Christ. | ||
| They get inside. | ||
| They don't want to be, you'd be lallygagging. | ||
| Mark was saying that same shit. | ||
| He's like, if you even think about like music and like rap, like rap in New York, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar. | ||
| In the South, it's melodic and easy and chill and beautiful for both reasons. | ||
| But I thought about this more and then I did the big room first and I'm not going to be like, I was concerned about the big room. | ||
| You were concerned. | ||
| Because you said to me something about the big room. | ||
| Murdered. | ||
| You were like, now it was fun, but you said to me, you were like, it's the most honest room. | ||
| But you're honestly hilarious. | ||
| Yeah, but- So there's no issues. | ||
| But that word, honest is usually used when like, let's have an honest conversation. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's never like, you're beautiful. | |
| Babe, can I be honest with you? | ||
| You're beautiful. | ||
| You're gorgeous. | ||
| You're amazing. | ||
| That's never, right? | ||
| So I was like, that's an interesting adjective to use to describe the room. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then I went up and it was awesome. | ||
| And there was an energy and there was an excitement and the room was great. | ||
| And it also offered this other side of stand-up that I think a lot of people that come up in the small rooms don't necessarily develop the skill set until they're on the road, which is filling space. | ||
| And it was like, you can learn to step on them. | ||
| And that's how I came up in New York. | ||
| Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. | ||
| And then you go do 3,000 seats. | ||
| How are you going to fill that? | ||
| How are you going to absorb that? | ||
| And I was watching Ron White go up there. | ||
| And that's a perfect example of just like kinetic energy. | ||
| You're just watching him fuck. | ||
| He's like... | ||
| The Black Panther suit. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Just like absorbing everything, absorbing everything, and then push back. | ||
| That dude hits and holds punchlines better than anybody alive. | ||
| Masterful. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Masterful. | |
| He hits him and he has a big ass fucking smile on his face. | ||
| You know him and like Tony Woods? | ||
| You ever watch Tony Woods? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, God, yeah. | |
| Those guys are masters that just absorb, absorb, absorb. | ||
| And then like... | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I just feel like if that goal is, which what you said yesterday, is really nurturing this talent and creating comedians that can be great comedians, you've built a space that can do that. | ||
| Yeah, we built it specifically for that. | ||
| So instead of making it so that there's big name headliners and you charge a lot of money for every ticket, instead of making money that way... | ||
| What we decided to do is just don't think about that. | ||
| Just think about what's the best place to develop comedy, and how do we develop comedy properly? | ||
| Well, one, you have to have open mics two nights a week. | ||
| So we have open mics Sunday and Monday. | ||
| And then we also have experimental shows where, like, crowd suggestions, they write them down on a piece of paper. | ||
| Oh, the bottom of the barrel. | ||
| Brian Simpson show. | ||
| Brian Simpson show. | ||
| Dude, that was... | ||
| And then you get bits from it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like, the beauty of those shows is... | |
| I think there's a... | ||
| Jeremiah has one, the stand-up on the spot, too. | ||
| And it's like, you get bits from that because you're liberated. | ||
| Like, the audience knows that you're just getting this idea. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And that you're rolling with it. | ||
| They used to have one out here called The Rift that was good, too. | ||
| It's a wheel. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You spin a wheel and it would roll. | ||
| Love. | ||
| And you'd, like, pick a card. | ||
| It'll, like, land on a card. | ||
| Love. | ||
| That was a good move, too. | ||
| It's like the whole idea is to be able to... | ||
| You just... | ||
| It's like a premise factory. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's just, like, pumping out premises. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And you never fucking know, man. | ||
| I've had some bits that became like real good bits that I got out of doing those kind of shows. | ||
| Yeah, I don't want to say the one we were talking about yesterday so you could develop, but that's going to be one. | ||
| Like, yeah, there's those feelings sometimes where you say a line. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You're like, oh yeah, this is going to be something. | |
| I really want to tell everybody. | ||
| They'll hear it eventually. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's a good fucking line. | |
| Do you want to give it away? | ||
| No, no, no, no. | ||
| I've got to keep that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Man, it was just cool, man. | |
| There's an energy. | ||
| There's an energy. | ||
| Well, everybody is working towards the right thing. | ||
| Can you talk about... | ||
| I think you're going to fuck the game up with the pay, too. | ||
| Can we talk about that? | ||
| Just not talk about that. | ||
| We don't need to talk about that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
People don't need to know what people are getting paid. | |
| You are a good man and you care about comedians. | ||
| I'll say that. | ||
| You don't say it, but I will say it for you. | ||
| And you're going to fuck some people up with this shit. | ||
| Well, the whole idea is just to make the best possible place for stand-ups to perform. | ||
| What Joe's trying to say is the whole idea is for him to make no money. | ||
| It's for comedians to make all the goddamn money. | ||
| Well, my idea is to make it so that... | ||
| Well, my only goal is to the club break even. | ||
| I'm like, I don't care if it makes money. | ||
| I make a lot of money. | ||
| Do you? | ||
| I'm worried about money. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't worry about money. | |
| I don't worry about money. | ||
| But I worry about... | ||
| I shot a bone arrow inside today. | ||
| But it's like, so that's not what I'm interested in. | ||
| What I'm interested in is like, what would be the best case scenario? | ||
| You know, I always talk about when we were kids, if someone said, oh, if you had all this money, what would you do? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'd make the best fucking comedy club, and I'd set it up just for comedians. | |
| So I'm like, why don't you just do that? | ||
| So I just did it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That was it. | ||
| I mean, it's crazy. | ||
| Yeah, it's awesome. | ||
| And the staff's awesome. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Best people from the comedy store. | ||
| I mean, I already told you I was going to come down when you opened. | ||
| But I will say, after that week, the energy that I saw from it... | ||
| I was like, oh, wow, yeah, something's going on over here. | ||
| Yeah, something's going on. | ||
| And listen, I was also one of these people who were like, Austin can't sustain a comedy club. | ||
| There's not enough people. | ||
| I think I told you that. | ||
| I was like, I didn't know if it was possible. | ||
| Now, granted, you have a pretty good batting average with the things you care about. | ||
| Like, so far, I think you're batting, like, a thousand percent on the things that you want to do. | ||
| Well, if you really like something and you do it, it's infectious. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You know, if you really love what you do, it's infectious. | ||
| But I think with Austin specifically, one of the things I didn't realize is that, like, comedy is the professional sport here. | ||
| You don't have a basketball team. | ||
| You don't have a football team. | ||
| You have a college football team. | ||
| We've got a dope soccer team. | ||
| You've got a soccer team, right? | ||
| But for people who are not gay, there's... | ||
| There's... | ||
|
unidentified
|
There's... | |
| Oh, no! | ||
| You don't run around kicking balls all day. | ||
| But comedy, I feel like, is the professional sport here. | ||
| And the people who are in that ecosystem have become the professional athletes. | ||
| Well, for people who are comedy fans, imagine that this happens. | ||
| Imagine if you're a comedy fan. | ||
| And the whole world shuts down, but Texas doesn't. | ||
| And then people are looking at Texas like, how are they partying over there? | ||
| What the fuck's going on over there? | ||
| And then some people come and visit. | ||
| And then maybe some people know people who got sick and got better real quick. | ||
| And maybe some people start getting skeptical. | ||
| Maybe some people start saying, well, I haven't been sick in 10 fucking years. | ||
| Am I the same as some fat guy with smoked cigarettes? | ||
| Like, what the fuck is going on here? | ||
| And you get a little upset. | ||
| And then the government continues to keep you shut down. | ||
| You go, you know what? | ||
| I'm going to go look at Texas. | ||
| And then you fly out here. | ||
| And you convince 12 world-class comedians to move here, too. | ||
| Now, if I was a comedy fan and I was living around here, I'd be like, holy shit, what is happening? | ||
| That's true. | ||
| Because that's never happened before. | ||
| All the scenes in our lifetime and in our predecessors' lifetimes were isolated. | ||
| There was the Boston scene, which is like a scene that guys would get really good at, but the good ones would leave. | ||
| The Burrs and the Nick DiPaolo's and the Me's and the Dane Cooks and everybody would leave. | ||
| You know, Louis C.K., Patrice, you know, Stephen Wright, they'd all leave, right? | ||
| But it was an amazing breeding ground. | ||
| And then there was the New York scene, which is like A scene, and L.A. scene, which is like A minus. | ||
| Like, New York was generally better quality of comics. | ||
| Because there was no other opportunity for anything else. | ||
| But L.A. had the occasional Dom Herrera would stop in. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| But there was only those scenes. | ||
| San Francisco was always a little shaky. | ||
| It never really had a rock-solid, big, booming scene. | ||
| But Austin does now. | ||
| It does, and it didn't before. | ||
| It was a small scene before. | ||
| It was a good scene. | ||
| Some good comics came out of here. | ||
| Brendan Walsh came out of here. | ||
| Hicks, Kinison, they were in Houston and here. | ||
| But that was a long time ago. | ||
| That was the 80s. | ||
| What do you think it is? | ||
| All my favorite comics are from Boston. | ||
| And I've been trying to understand why that is. | ||
| Because we grew up in a place where it's cold and no one gives a fuck and the women are very mean. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dude! | |
| No, no, there's something to that. | ||
| When the women also have a sense of humor, your mediocre sense of humor isn't good enough. | ||
| You can't get laid with just regular jokes. | ||
| The girls are already funny. | ||
| Scotland's like this. | ||
| They are ball busters. | ||
| I had to learn comedy as a defense mechanism because my aunts were ruthless. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ruthless! | |
| Just roasting my brother, me! | ||
| And we're just sitting there like, okay, I gotta find a way to handle this shit. | ||
| But yeah, I've always wondered that with Boston. | ||
| And I asked a dude once and I was like, why do you think it is? | ||
| And he said the same thing. | ||
| But he also said... | ||
| There's an arrogance to Boston, too. | ||
| This is where the nation began. | ||
| They're like the aristocrats. | ||
| They're like the original aristocrats. | ||
| A guy who's roofing in Boston still is like, yeah, but I'm from Boston. | ||
| And I wonder if you need that arrogance... | ||
| To also say the things that you want to say. | ||
| Sometimes you could be crippled by working-class environments where you're like, I'm not any better than anybody in this town. | ||
| I'm not any better than just my friends. | ||
| I shouldn't go on stage and say that. | ||
| Like, who do I think I am to go talk in front of these people? | ||
| You need a little bit of bravado to even go after it. | ||
| There's so many variables and so many factors, but one of the factors is you need, like, A group of guys that are dedicated to comedy and are really getting after it, and they set the bar for everybody else. | ||
| That was what was happening in Boston. | ||
| It was Barry Crimmins. | ||
| I remember Barry Crimmins became my friend, but I was fucking terrified of that dude. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Why? | |
| Because he was the standard bearer. | ||
| He would not let any hacks in. | ||
| He would be angry at you if you were a hack. | ||
| He was very well versed politically. | ||
| You couldn't have some bullshit argument conversation with Barry Crimmins. | ||
| He would destroy you. | ||
| He was ruthless. | ||
| And he was really fucking funny. | ||
| And he had great political material, great social material. | ||
| He was a working class guy. | ||
| And he set the standard. | ||
| He was the fucking man in Boston. | ||
| Bro, I was scared of him. | ||
| I wanted to avoid him. | ||
| I had to fucking go around. | ||
| Because I thought I was an open-miker. | ||
| I sucked. | ||
| And then when Barry Crimmins became my friend and told me he thought I was really funny, I was like, He was the guy. | ||
| He was smarter than everybody else. | ||
| That's Barry. | ||
| He was smarter than everybody else. | ||
| And he had the highest standard of comedy. | ||
| He had the highest standard of comedy and he was a mentor for the rest of the group. | ||
| So you see guys that pop up like that in comedy, like Keith Robinson is another one. | ||
| Do you know Keith? | ||
| Oh yeah, he's ruthless. | ||
| Ruthless. | ||
| He is ruthless. | ||
| He has the highest standard of comedy. | ||
| He's absolutely hilarious. | ||
| And he genuinely loves helping and putting people on. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| And it's rare that you get that concoction. | ||
| He's beautiful. | ||
| He is. | ||
| I don't know if people even know the stories of him driving a fucking cab up from Philly and driving a bunch of guys up from Philly and being like, hey, you need to come up here. | ||
| You need to be in New York because people are going to find out about you and you're fucking great. | ||
| That's beautiful. | ||
| Dude, he's had two strokes. | ||
| I know. | ||
| And he's funnier. | ||
| I heard he's hilarious because he's just like going for it. | ||
| Because it's like he's dying. | ||
| I wish I could say some of this shit. | ||
| I know. | ||
| It was in the Mitzi's the other day. | ||
| Everybody was quoting shit. | ||
| I was holding my sides. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It is. | |
| Wild. | ||
| And you can't refute it because he's not just saying, watch it to be wild. | ||
| He's coming from this place where it's like, I had these strokes. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dude. | |
| And killing. | ||
| I told him it was funny. | ||
| I told him, I think they stroked you up. | ||
| I think it's a benefit in a way. | ||
| Isn't it funny that it's almost like you need something like that to be truly free? | ||
| Sometimes. | ||
| I did a theater in Miami once and Wanda, Wanda Sykes and Keith were on before me. | ||
| And they both left me notes. | ||
| I was waving to them on the way in. | ||
| They were waving on the way, what's up? | ||
| What's up? | ||
| They both left me notes. | ||
| Wanda was the sweetest, nicest note. | ||
| It was great to see you. | ||
| I hope you have a great set. | ||
| You know, much love. | ||
| Keith Robbins says, I hope you have the worst set of your fucking life. | ||
| I hope you bomb in front of your stupid fans. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dude. | |
| I have that napkin. | ||
| I still have that napkin. | ||
| It's interesting. | ||
| You're making me think about comedy scenes and what makes it good. | ||
| You need a standard bearer. | ||
| It helps. | ||
| Multiple standard bearers would be ideal, but you definitely need at least one person. | ||
| You need someone who people will listen to. | ||
| That they respect. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But maybe isn't in the stratosphere. | ||
| Maybe they're not fucking superstar, megastar, movie star, but just is purely respected because of their standard. | ||
| That helps. | ||
| That way there's less jealousy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| Here's the other thing about it is, though, that in Barry's time, comedy was new. | ||
| We really have to understand our art form in a historical perspective. | ||
| What do you want? | ||
|
unidentified
|
They are here. | |
| In a historical perspective, because our art form really didn't even branch off into what you and I do until Lenny Bruce. | ||
| So, what is Lenny Bruce? | ||
| His era is like late 50s, early 60s, and into, like, when did Lenny die? | ||
| When he died, the end of Lenny's career, and by the way, I'm a giant Lenny Bruce fan. | ||
| I mean, if you go walk into my club, one of the first things you see is a big-ass picture of Lenny Bruce. | ||
| So he died in 1966. And you have to understand, like, the last couple years of his life were completely entangled in legal battles. | ||
| So, like, the Lenny Bruce that we're talking about. | ||
| So, like, late 50s, this guy literally invents an art form. | ||
| Because it just didn't really exist that way. | ||
| I mean, Mark Twain did some spoken word stuff where he read some of his books and he was apparently very funny. | ||
| And people talk about, like, maybe Mark Twain was, like, the first stand-up. | ||
| The first guy to do stand-up. | ||
| But then there was guys who just did jokes. | ||
| And they would tell, like, two Jews walking to a bar. | ||
| Those kind of jokes. | ||
| Like the Borscht Belt comedians that were coming up. | ||
| Yeah, the Catskills. | ||
| And they would all steal from each other. | ||
| It was like house jokes. | ||
| Yeah, house jokes. | ||
| A lot of house jokes. | ||
| It was a lot of really dumb shit. | ||
| But, you know, funny. | ||
| Good times. | ||
| You know, whatever. | ||
| And there was guys who could deliver in an amazing way. | ||
| Buddy Hackett. | ||
| There were some of those guys that were killers. | ||
| They were killers. | ||
| Very funny guys. | ||
| But it's just like... | ||
| What were they working with? | ||
| They were working with stone tools. | ||
| And so then along comes Lenny Bruce. | ||
| And Lenny Bruce starts looking at society. | ||
| So he's looking at culture and sex and racism and drugs. | ||
| The race stuff that he has holds up today. | ||
| There are jokes that he's told. | ||
| There's a joke because I think he would go on a road with a black dude who is like a jazz musician I think would open for him. | ||
| And he would talk about the Frenchman. | ||
| He'd talk about white people trying to ingratiate themselves to his black friend. | ||
| And, like, the awkwardness that white people have. | ||
| And, like, the examples he's using, like, maybe today we'd be, like, are kind of hacky, but, like, for the first... | ||
| For the first person to ever say it to like see white people trying to win over a black person. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So we have some watermelon at the party. | ||
| Would you like some watermelon? | ||
| That's a line that he has in it. | ||
| And he's just like, but he's observing whites at a time where whites are probably integrating with blacks way more often and then not really knowing how to do it and that awkwardness. | ||
| And then you got this guy Lenny Bruce who just fucking likes this guy. | ||
| Not that he's black. | ||
| He just likes this guy. | ||
| He enjoys the music. | ||
| He enjoys who he is. | ||
| And he's observing other people that just are the only thing they can see him as is a black dude. | ||
| They can't see past that. | ||
| So the only way that they can relate is what they know about black people. | ||
| And now you see that same joke. | ||
| You see the white people awkward around black people. | ||
| That starts there. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, Richard took that. | ||
| Like, Pryor did that after Lenny did that. | ||
| Pryor was, like, the better version of Lenny. | ||
| What Pryor was, was, like, what Lenny had started, Pryor was, like... | ||
| I got this. | ||
| I'm going to take this to a new place. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I appreciate you. | |
| I'm going to take this to a new place. | ||
| I'm going to make it way funnier. | ||
| And what Pryor did, it was self-deprecating. | ||
| It was way funnier. | ||
| It was bleeding. | ||
| Lenny was very funny, but we have to take it in the context of the times. | ||
| If we were back in the Lenny Bruce days, if you and I... We're us right now, and we were sitting at our ages right now, and we were just like regular guys, and we're sitting in the back of the room in 1957, and we see Lenny go up and break down culture and society. | ||
| We'd be like, what? | ||
| What is going on? | ||
| We'd be dying laughing. | ||
| He had this joke about gays. | ||
| It's such a great joke. | ||
| This is the 60s? | ||
| 50s, probably. | ||
| I mean, he died in 63, is that what it was? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| 66? | ||
| What was it? | ||
| He died in 66. So maybe early 60s. | ||
| So he has this joke and he goes, Dig, they make homosexuality illegal. | ||
| So what do they do? | ||
| They arrest you and they put you in jail with a bunch of men who want to have sex with you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He broke that shit down in like 58. What a punishment. | |
| And bro, it would murder. | ||
| People would be like, oh my god, what is happening? | ||
| And then people thinking about like, everybody always knows that dude's got fucked in jail. | ||
| Genius. | ||
| Yeah, so it's like, back then, saying that though, on stage, when everybody else was like, two Jews walking to a bar. | ||
| And Lenny was like, breaking things down. | ||
| Talking about Language and the culture and music and life and the romance. | ||
| That's interesting you say Twain, that you talk about Twain. | ||
| And yeah, you do see it with the writers that have like a comedic twist and their ability to kind of like analyze culture but not turning it into stand-up. | ||
| They could though. | ||
| It's like a lot of them really could. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They would have to just learn how to deliver it, which is not the hardest part because the writing is like some of the hardest part. | ||
| Yeah, but sometimes like I've noticed this with writers that they're so prolific on the page, but when they try to communicate it, it's a different art form almost. | ||
| It's like the ideas are there. | ||
| They just don't understand like how to hold attention the same way. | ||
| Well, you know what it is? | ||
| They're out of shape. | ||
| It's like when... | ||
| I think it's a thing... | ||
| It's like playing pick-up basketball. | ||
| The more stand-up I do, the looser I get on stage. | ||
| The looser I get on stage, the more fun I have on stage, the more I'm inventing new stuff. | ||
| The more sets you do, the better you get. | ||
| It's just real numbers. | ||
| And if you're a guy who's like this awkward fellow who sits in front of a ThinkPad all day, and he's just like writing on Microsoft Word, writing very funny things... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Now here's 300 people. | |
| This could be ungodly. | ||
| Occasionally you talk to your wife like, oh, what do you want to do for dinner? | ||
| You know? | ||
| You're awkward! | ||
| You're very brilliant, but you're alone in front of your computer. | ||
| And then all of a sudden you have to go in front of people and deliver these ideas. | ||
| You have to learn how the delivery thing, you have to put in the reps. | ||
| It's a lot of reps. | ||
| It seems way more simple than it is. | ||
| It seems... | ||
| A person's up there, like I was watching you last night. | ||
| It's like, he's just talking. | ||
| Like, why is it so funny? | ||
| Like, that's how people look at it. | ||
| Like, why is this guy so funny? | ||
| Like, he's just talking. | ||
| I talk too. | ||
| I could do that. | ||
| I know how to talk. | ||
| But they don't understand. | ||
| Like, you're just doing this magic show for them. | ||
| And they think it's just talking. | ||
| Isn't that wild that, like, it doesn't start as just talking. | ||
| And ideally, we can break it down to the point where that's what it feels like. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, it starts in our head, there's like a premise, and there's a line, or there's a statement, or there's like, now I'm thinking of that joke that we won't say that you have, and it's just like, that's just a statement, that's a feeling, you know? | ||
| I was talking to my boy Mark, and I was just like, let's just riff, but don't tell me a single joke. | ||
| Tell me what you feel. | ||
| Tell me what is causing anxiety or anger. | ||
| Don't try to make me laugh. | ||
| Just tell me what you feel. | ||
| And every time, that is the joke. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The punchlines will come and they'll insert themselves. | ||
| But that, you're not going, how can I make this situation funny? | ||
| That is how you fucking feel. | ||
| And that's why we laughed at it. | ||
| That's why you'll say it in front of a group of comics and we all laugh. | ||
| Not because you're trying to misdirect us. | ||
| Not because you're trying to trick us. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's how you feel. | |
| And we're all going, yeah, Joe kind of does feel like that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I might feel like that a little bit. | |
| Depends on the lady. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Now you're giving it away. | |
| But yeah, that's, I don't know, that's to me like, that's the beauty of like a great joke or like a great premise is the one where it's like you almost stumble into it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You're like emotionally engaged in it so much you're not even trying. | ||
| You almost have to think of it like musical notes. | ||
| Like there's all kinds of musical notes. | ||
| They're all good. | ||
| Yeah, but they just serve different purposes and to make a great song You got to put them all together where it flows and that's like part of what we're doing, too Yeah, it's like you're gonna have those jokes. | ||
| It's like that's how you feel and then you're gonna have some jokes We take people down a left turn like whoops and what about that? | ||
| Yeah, and they're like Yeah, you know like that's that's a part of it, too It's like there's a lot of stuff going on when you're doing comedy. | ||
| I don't Yeah, I almost think I memorize, like people go, how do you memorize all the words? | ||
| And it's like, I don't think I memorize the words, I think I memorize the song. | ||
| Yeah, how it sounds. | ||
| Yeah, and like how it feels and the rhythm of it. | ||
| And I think that's why like sometimes when you like adjust to different room sizes, like your rhythm can get off and you go, oh, I forgot that section. | ||
| Yeah, because the song is different. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| The song is slower, the song is faster, but I memorized the song in this, what is it, pace or syncopation or whatever it is, this rhythm. | ||
| Now it's a different rhythm. | ||
| I need to memorize it in this different rhythm. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Arena timing. | ||
| That's a perfect example. | ||
| That's a real thing. | ||
| Well, I've never done arenas, but like... | ||
| Well, I want you to. | ||
| Yeah, so... | ||
| We'll do them together. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Let's do it. | |
| Let's fucking go, Andrew! | ||
| I mean, what a crazy... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Let's do it. | |
| That would be crazy. | ||
| Let's fucking go. | ||
| Come on, man, we'll have... | ||
| So what happens? | ||
| Is it slowed? | ||
| There's so many people. | ||
| So do you find yourself... | ||
| Like some punchlines you have to hang on to for a little bit. | ||
| But also like facial expressions are bigger, you know, and then there's giant screens everywhere where your face is, where people can see it, and we're all together. | ||
| And when you're in the round, the round is the shit. | ||
| Are you actively turning? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah! | |
| So you're going, okay, I face this way a lot, let me give energy to- No, no, no, no, just go. | ||
| It just flows. | ||
| Just go. | ||
| No thinking like that. | ||
| But it's just like you're in the round, so it's actually intimate. | ||
| It's like as intimate as you can get like 16,000 people stuffed in together. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Because they're all looking at the people that are on the other side and we're all together. | ||
| It's not like a wall and a stage. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It's way more intimate. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It's like double intimate because you're surrounded. | ||
| It feels good. | ||
| It's fun. | ||
| It's my favorite way to do shows. | ||
| Really? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes! | |
| My favorite way. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's my favorite way. | ||
| I mean, you can't do 16,000 people all the time. | ||
| It's not good for your comedy. | ||
| What happens is you're not going to invent new lines. | ||
| You're going to stick to your script. | ||
| You're going to stick to the bits. | ||
| There's too many people. | ||
| It's too big. | ||
| It's a show. | ||
| It's a show. | ||
| It's a different thing. | ||
| When you're doing Little Boy, that little tiny room that we have. | ||
| That's where we play. | ||
| That's where we find something. | ||
| These are your friends. | ||
| We're fucking around. | ||
| We're having a couple of drinks. | ||
| We're talking some shit. | ||
| You can touch everybody in there. | ||
| They want you to talk some shit. | ||
| They want you to explore. | ||
| And the real comedy fans know because of these kind of conversations that that's how we come up with bits. | ||
| That's where premises emerge. | ||
| The creativity Is this fucking, you can't grab it, you don't know what it is, you don't know how it comes or how it doesn't come, but you gotta respect it. | ||
| You know, that's why that, you know, War of Art book is so good. | ||
| Steven Pressfield's book. | ||
| Steven Pressfield, he's been on the podcast a couple times. | ||
| He wrote this book called The War of Art. | ||
| And it's all about resistance and how resistance keeps you from achieving your best possible self. | ||
| It's like your ego and your fears and it's all combined and it creates procrastination. | ||
| And he gives you the tools in this book to try to be a professional. | ||
| To realize, like, a professional shows up and a professional works. | ||
| And this is what we do. | ||
| And if you put yourself on that schedule, the muse will come to you. | ||
| And those ideas will enter into your mind. | ||
| So it's just putting in the work every single day. | ||
| You have to respect it. | ||
| You can't just think it's a gift you get whenever you want to go and access it. | ||
| Bro, that... | ||
| That's like a lesson I learned with this, you know, trying to write new stuff since I put out the last special. | ||
| I was telling you this. | ||
| It was, like, really hard. | ||
| It was, like, really hard for me. | ||
| And I hadn't experienced that before in stand-up. | ||
| And, uh... | ||
| But I just didn't want to do a different version of jokes I'd already done. | ||
| And I feel like sometimes that happens. | ||
| It's not necessarily bad, but I've done it for sure. | ||
| But I just really wanted the comedy to reflect what I'd gone through in life and how I'd changed in life. | ||
| And that was fucking hard, man, to sit there, think, develop new... | ||
| Ways to attack these things that I haven't experienced before. | ||
| Yeah, your stand-up is basically like a snapshot of who you are. | ||
| In that moment. | ||
| At that year. | ||
| If I look at a special that I did from 2009, I'm a very different person. | ||
| If I look at a special I did from 2016, I'm a very different person. | ||
| And so it's just a snapshot. | ||
| And then you have to kind of figure out who you are now. | ||
| And all your new material has to be, who are you now? | ||
| And if you're honest, you acknowledge who you are now. | ||
| And I think some people, or some comics, they don't, and then they get into that world where they kind of almost look like they're doing an impression of themselves. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| And the audience can tell. | ||
| A hundred percent. | ||
| And maybe they don't know consciously what's happening, but they can feel it. | ||
| They don't feel like you're connecting with them. | ||
| Yeah, they don't feel it because they're like, oh, you're doing this version, and I never, like I always valued... | ||
| You know, Patrice was always kind of like my North Star, and I always valued, like, the authenticity. | ||
| Like, what is the thing? | ||
| Like, how do I fucking feel? | ||
| And, yeah, there was so much transition. | ||
| Like, I mean, I did so many bits early on about, like, chicks being annoying, and then, like, I got an amazing wife that I love, and I'm like, they ain't that annoying. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like, you get a coffee in the morning, like, there's always snacks in the pantry. | |
| Like, it's not that annoying, right? | ||
| Like, so I'm like, I have to be pure About what I'm going through, and that was tricky, man. | ||
| It really feels good to be at a point where like, okay, now I've got some stuff that I'm excited about, that I want to talk about, and I feel hungry. | ||
| But for a while, it was hard, man. | ||
| What is your writing process like? | ||
| Now I've become way more diligent. | ||
| So like, before I would just go up and riff on stage and now it's harder for me to get up. | ||
| I make sure I do about, I go three nights a week and I gotta do at least four spots each of those nights. | ||
| So I can get to about 12, which I think is like a good amount of time to kinda let go. | ||
| And then, off nights, I have to also work. | ||
| So I just have to talk. | ||
| I either talk to myself. | ||
| I'll call up one of my buddies and I'll be like, hey, what are you working on? | ||
| Hey, let's go. | ||
| Just tell me what your things are. | ||
| Then I'll tell ideas that I have and try to flesh out how I feel about it. | ||
| Because I can't write the bit until I know how I feel. | ||
| Sometimes it takes me a little bit to feel. | ||
| So your process is just a lot of thinking about ideas. | ||
| And talking. | ||
| Talking to people about stuff. | ||
| We have to just talk. | ||
| Like... | ||
| I think that's why I enjoy podcasting. | ||
| It's getting to how I feel about a thing. | ||
| And you say a bunch of things that are funny and absurd and crazy and salacious on the way. | ||
| But what is my core feeling about this issue? | ||
| And once I'm at that core, then everything emanates from the core. | ||
| But if I can't get to the core, I just have some misdirection that I don't even believe in. | ||
| Once I get to the meat and potatoes, it flows. | ||
| Everything just kind of like... | ||
| Yeah, you find that zone. | ||
| You find that area where you're supposed to exist in. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, I can write from it much easier. | ||
| I can riff from it much easier. | ||
| Because I feel like I'm being honest with the audience. | ||
| Like, every line is honest. | ||
| It might not be funny yet. | ||
| But you know I'm being honest. | ||
| You know that I'm telling you how I feel about this thing. | ||
| And I think that they'll attach themselves to that. | ||
| And then if I can catch you or I stumble across something... | ||
| It can hit, but I need to know what I feel about it and I can't write about things I don't care like the idea of like being like a and God bless them But like the late-night writers where you just like they throw you some shit and you got a joke about it My brain doesn't work like that. | ||
| That's like living off oatmeal for the rest of your life That's like, you can stay alive, Andrew. | ||
| But you're gonna eat plain oatmeal. | ||
|
unidentified
|
There's some guys fucking listening right now. | |
| Plain oatmeal for the rest of your life. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| That's what that is. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, I gotta care, Dale. | ||
| I gotta really fucking care. | ||
| That's because you care about what you do, and that's why you're so funny. | ||
| We all have to care about what we do. | ||
| And I think everybody does it in different ways, you know? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I'm always interested in the writing process. | ||
| Yeah, why? | ||
| What is yours? | ||
| You just go, right? | ||
| Like, you'll just sit in front of the laptop and just write stream of conscious, right? | ||
| I think that's important. | ||
| I don't think it's necessary, because some of the greats don't do it. | ||
| But if I really, if I was going to teach a class on creating stand-up, I mean, look, it's not like I'm the best stand-up in the world, so I'm not like I'm the best qualified to do this. | ||
| But if I was given this task to do that, I would say, You should do all those things. | ||
| There's nothing that keeps you from writing. | ||
| Why don't you write? | ||
| You like to think about things and talk about things, but what about sitting and talking to yourself about a thing and writing it? | ||
| And there's a very specific mindset that takes place. | ||
| For me, when I'm in front of the keyboard and I'm writing an essay on something, I can type so I don't have to look at the keys, which is nice. | ||
| I don't type great, but I type okay. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Enough, yeah. | |
| I type enough. | ||
| And so I can just zone in on the page and I'm thinking about every word much longer than it takes to type that word. | ||
| Or rather, if I had to write something out, if you're writing out a word, it's so much more time to write it out than it is to just think about that word. | ||
| So now you're chewing on it while you're writing it out. | ||
| Yeah, so as you're writing each individual word, you're pausing in time. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And you're in a time lapse and you get to consider each and every possible way you would say something from that word while you're writing that word. | ||
| And there's a physical task of doing that with your keys and your fingers that makes you concentrate because it fires up your synapses and makes you think that you're doing this with your fingers. | ||
| It's kind of exciting. | ||
| Especially if you have a tactile keyboard. | ||
| See, I use a keyboard that has a lot of keystroke. | ||
| It's like a lot of room. | ||
| That's why I work with a ThinkPad. | ||
| Because they clickety-clickety-click, so you feel it in your fingers. | ||
| So it's this tactile thing, and then the words are up there, and I'm thinking about the words, and then other things come to me. | ||
| Do you find that you... | ||
| You speak differently when you write? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Than when you talk to a person. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Definitely. | ||
| You definitely... | ||
| It's not natural when you write. | ||
| It's not clean. | ||
| But what you do is you take these bullet points from these various things that you wrote out and just say them how you would say them. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Say them how you would say them when you're right there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| So it's like you can't rely on writing to create great jokes or But the ideas can come from that. | ||
| It's a farm for ideas. | ||
| That's what it is. | ||
| I need to have that moment. | ||
| For me, it's not sitting down, but it's like, okay, there's a weird meditative state that I can get to if I'm running and I have a song that I know well enough where I can tap into my subconscious. | ||
| But not too well where the song bores me. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And I get into a weird state. | ||
| And sometimes when I'm just running, I hate it and it's awful, whatever. | ||
| And then sometimes I get into this state where I can lock in and create these other scenarios and I kind of exist in these scenarios. | ||
| And I imagine this is what the super elite runners probably can access this for 26 miles or something like that. | ||
| I can't do that and I can't tap in every time. | ||
| But when I can tap into that state, I can create these worlds that I exist in. | ||
| And sometimes these lines come up, these ideas come up, this curiosity comes up. | ||
| There's a part of my brain that now can flourish because other parts of my brain are accessed. | ||
| So it hits when you're breathing heavy, when you start sweating? | ||
| It's like my brain is occupied by maintaining this pace, which is probably pretty fast, but not so fast where I can't concentrate. | ||
| But that's occupied there. | ||
| And then another part of my brain is occupied by the music. | ||
| And sometimes I'll just replay the same song over and over again. | ||
| But there's a state, right? | ||
| Something happens, and it's like, I don't know what the fuck it is, and I wish I could, like, lock in on it, you know, like, and just exist in that for three hours a day or something. | ||
| But when I can, thoughts become really clear, and ideas become really clear, and sometimes they're fucking shit, and then sometimes they're, like, really interesting. | ||
| And I can replay these scenarios and think of, like, Interesting comeback or like this really self-deprecating thing that happened and it's just like I'll literally hop off the treadmill sweaty as fuck dripping all over my phone write the idea and then get back on but I don't know if that's a good strategy for doing it but these are the different scenarios to access that part of the brain that I almost feel like is always working like I don't know, I always felt like comedy exists, and then you just kind of find it. | ||
| I don't think I've created any comedy. | ||
| I think it's there, and I just kind of like, this is stupid, but like, you know, like, what is it, the constellations. | ||
| It's like the stars are there, but somebody looked at them and they're like, ooh, that kind of looks like a belt. | ||
| Ooh, that kind of looks like a dipper. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Yes, I know what you're saying. | ||
| That's kind of what I think with a lot of these ideas. | ||
| It's like, all the things are there. | ||
| And you're just kind of like connecting these little dots. | ||
| Well, I think the more you look at it like that, the more it becomes available to you too. | ||
| Because I think one of the traps of the human mind is that when you get good at something, your ego inflates and you think it's about you and you're just a special thing and you're better than everybody. | ||
| And there's a way that you could do it that nobody can fuck with. | ||
| And there's a thing that's like a normal thing that people do. | ||
| And I think that that invades your creative process. | ||
| You create an expectation for yourself. | ||
| I'll be honest, that's why I took some time away. | ||
| I just wanted to create. | ||
| I don't let any friends come see me. | ||
| I don't let anybody come see me. | ||
| When I'm in creation mode, it's so weird because obviously the people will come out. | ||
| I want some time for me. | ||
| I don't want to be there thinking like, God, is my wife going to be upset that I say this thing? | ||
| Because that stops the tag that might be too far, might be too wild, or might be perfect. | ||
| I want to create and not have a fucking care in the world. | ||
| I don't know, you said something to me yesterday that was like, you don't want to be any more famous. | ||
| And I was like, it's a wild thing to say, but I get it! | ||
| Because it's like, the more that comes with it, maybe the more restriction you feel. | ||
| Well, you're more susceptible to criticism. | ||
| You're more susceptible to people being upset with you. | ||
| You're more susceptible to people thinking that it's not fair. | ||
| Because it's not fair. | ||
| There's no fair. | ||
| That's what's weird about life. | ||
| It's one of the weirdest things. | ||
| It doesn't necessarily make sense. | ||
| What becomes successful and what's not and who's making money and who's not. | ||
| It's not about how much effort you're putting in. | ||
| It's not about that. | ||
| It's a weird game we're all playing. | ||
| And the more successful you get, you're like, would you want to be the richest guy in the world? | ||
| What the fuck is that? | ||
| Is he living any better than number 39? | ||
| They leave 39 alone. | ||
| 39 is probably worth five billion. | ||
| That dude's chillin'. | ||
| What do they say about that? | ||
| They don't say jack shit about that guy. | ||
| That guy's eating filet mignon and drinking Dom Perignon. | ||
| Same Jets. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Same hotels. | ||
| And having a great ass time. | ||
| Great time. | ||
| Same Instagram model. | ||
| Exactly the same shit. | ||
| Like with no scrutiny. | ||
| Nothing's different. | ||
| Same pure cocaine straight out of Colombia. | ||
| They're flaking it off with razor blades. | ||
| Like the purest fucking brick cocaine. | ||
| The shit that fucking Peter Frampton used to snort in the 70s. | ||
| Peter, I don't know if you did coke. | ||
| I should have said somebody else. | ||
| Who would be a good reference? | ||
|
unidentified
|
You did. | |
| Who would be a good reference? | ||
| Who definitely snorted coke in the 70s? | ||
| In the 70s? | ||
| Fucking John Travolta. | ||
| Oh yeah, he must have. | ||
| Off of some guy's back? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa! | |
| It was a massage! | ||
|
unidentified
|
It was a massage. | |
| Snorting coke and getting massages. | ||
| I tried coke once. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| And it lives up to the hype. | ||
| Does it? | ||
| Bro. | ||
| Have you ever done coke? | ||
| No, I have not. | ||
| The singer-songwriter's career of intense highs and devastating deceptions is explored in a revealing new memoir, Peter Frampton. | ||
| I was kept high. | ||
| If I needed cocaine, he made sure I had it. | ||
| Hey, bitch, that's your fault. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I don't like that. | ||
| I don't like that kind of talk. | ||
| I don't like that kind of talk. | ||
| Breathe out of your mouth. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| Unless they were holding you down and making you snort it off that stripper's tits, then there's no fucking way that you could say that they did that to you, sir. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Yeah, I wonder if they got to look back and they don't want to take responsibility for what they did. | ||
| Well, it must be awful to, like, have had everything ripped away from you because you became a cocaine addict or because you got into heroin. | ||
| Imagine just, like, you have a functional existence, everything's great, you're doing a thing, whether it's rock and roll music or whatever it is, and then all of a sudden things start going well. | ||
| You're doing shows, and you just like to get high, and you're just getting high a lot, and you're just, like, doing shows, like, I need a bump before I go up. | ||
| And next thing you know, you're getting high every night, and you're just wrecked, and your immune system is wrecked, and your body's wrecked, and you're always, like, implementing chemicals. | ||
| It's always alcohol to sleep, and maybe Ambien, and cocaine to wake up. | ||
| You're living three, four years to every one year. | ||
| Every one year, you've got three or four years of damage, because you're going so hard. | ||
| And then, you know, you don't want to think it was just you. | ||
| And it's not just you, because it's addictive. | ||
| It's a problem. | ||
| It's like telling someone they have the flu, like, well, you should be sick. | ||
| I'm like, okay, that's not helping them. | ||
| They're addicted. | ||
| They're physically addicted to coke. | ||
| And we want to categorize that as being a mental weakness, or we want to categorize that as being you're totally helpless, and the addiction has overwhelmed you. | ||
| I suspect it's a combination of the two things. | ||
| I suspect that's why there's such polarizing camps between the idea that it's not your fault at all and it's 100% your fault. | ||
| And you need to fucking just be stronger. | ||
| It's also the hardest thing to understand if you've never done it. | ||
| Like all these people that have no empathy for the people that get caught up in addiction have just probably never tried heroin. | ||
| Yeah, they never tried it. | ||
| They don't know what they're talking about. | ||
| I bet it's amazing. | ||
| Have you ever tried heroin? | ||
| No, I haven't. | ||
| But when I had a knee operation, they had this morphine drip. | ||
| Crazy. | ||
| Yeah, I've been told that this is not correct by someone, but I don't know if that's true. | ||
| They said when I was in the operation, so I got an ACL reconstruction in 1993 or some shit. | ||
| The old surgery. | ||
| Bro, they open you up like a fish. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And they take a piece of your shin bone and a piece of your kneecap and a strip of your patella tendon. | ||
| And then they open you up and then fucking screw it in place. | ||
| And that's your new ACL. It's actually stronger than the original ACL. But you don't have the same functionality. | ||
| Like the new ACL surgeries are incredible. | ||
| These guys are back after six months. | ||
| Yeah, the new ACL surgeries, most of what they're doing is, well, I did both. | ||
| I did a cadaver graft on my right knee. | ||
| What's that? | ||
| The cadaver graft, they take a dead dude's Achilles heel, his Achilles tendon, which is much stronger and thicker than the tendon that's general, the real ACL. And they make that your ACL? Yeah, they turn that into your ACL. Interesting. | ||
| Yeah, and that was only six months. | ||
| That was six months, and then I was back, like, basically 100%. | ||
| That was really good, because that one, like, I was walking without a cane in, like, five days. | ||
| After an ACL surgery. | ||
| Yeah, it was crazy. | ||
| It was so much less invasive, that one, to get the cadaver one. | ||
| The other one is so invasive, because, like, they have to cut you. | ||
| It's a big slice. | ||
| They have to open you up and screw it in and screw it in and then check to see if it's good. | ||
| But it is your tendon that they're cutting. | ||
| But the cadaver one, what happens is it becomes a scaffolding and your body proliferates the scaffolding of the dead dude's heel. | ||
| What does that mean? | ||
| It starts to eat it up or something? | ||
| No, it changes it. | ||
| It overcomes it with its own cells. | ||
| So originally, all it is, is like a scaffolding for your body to grow that tendon back. | ||
| Oh, that's the purpose of it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What your body is doing is you're, like, if they take, I'm sure if you're a doctor out there, I'm fucking this up. | ||
| So I'm sorry. | ||
| We're just comedians, by the way, just to remind everybody. | ||
| They take the Achilles tendon and then they screw it into the bone on the top and the bottom. | ||
| So it becomes your new ACL. But it's not really that stable because it's a dead guy's shit. | ||
| So your body has to use it as a scaffolding and build its own tissue over this. | ||
| And then within six months, that process has happened. | ||
| Amazing. | ||
| And then you have a real, like, solid ACL that's way stronger. | ||
| I think it's 150% stronger than a regular ACL. Have you ever forgotten... | ||
| Like, your wife's birthday or anything? | ||
| No. | ||
| I'm pretty good with that. | ||
| But I have an iPhone. | ||
| I guess, like, you have this incredible retention. | ||
| So if I was your wife and you forgot my birthday, I would be serious. | ||
| Because you remembered, like, you were saying vitamins and minerals and all this shit last night. | ||
| Like, David Lucas asked you about something and you just started, like, rifling off. | ||
| So I wonder if you have, like, a higher expectation to remember things. | ||
| No, generally speaking. | ||
| Because I'm only good at remembering things I'm interested in. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Babe, your birthday's not one of those days. | |
| I'll forget my own birthday. | ||
| If I, like, just am not tuned into something, it's not consistent. | ||
| Like, my memory is very consistent for things that are, like, a crazy moment. | ||
| Like, if something wild happens, I just have, like, a snapshot of it. | ||
| It's very weird. | ||
| When people tell me something that's fascinating, it becomes embedded. | ||
| Like if I'm talking to Graham Hancock or Randall Carlson, they blow my mind with some shit. | ||
| If I talk to physicists who intrigue me with these theories about everything and... | ||
| But if someone's just talking to me about some fucking stupid thing that we might do next week, I forget about it immediately. | ||
| Done. | ||
| Gone. | ||
| Doesn't matter. | ||
| Unless it's a real thing. | ||
| Tell me when it's a real thing. | ||
| Because you know how people are. | ||
| People are flaky. | ||
| I don't remember shit. | ||
| You said you were going to go. | ||
| I go, okay, I'll go. | ||
| I don't want to fucking remember that. | ||
| How do you not remember that? | ||
| Because... | ||
| Because it's just, we're going to go to dinner. | ||
| It's not like, you know, how does the Hadron Collider create the Higgs bosom particle? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah. | |
| Most people would be like, yeah, dinner's easier to remember. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And you'd be like, well, yeah, they just throw it in fucking Lucerne. | ||
| You only have so much room. | ||
| That's what it is. | ||
| It's not even that people are stupid. | ||
| It's like people only, like when you think of a person as stupid, a lot of times stupid people are good at things. | ||
| So why is he good at that thing but not good at things that prove you're smart? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hmm. | |
| Because oftentimes it's like, what are you concentrating on? | ||
| Like, if you're concentrating on a very particular thing, and you suck at it, well, then you might be dumb. | ||
| But if someone is... | ||
| If you're trying to concentrate on all things, you're gonna be stupid at something. | ||
| I thought about that as I got older. | ||
| And I'm like, am I just taking in more meaningless bullshit? | ||
| So it's harder for me to remember because it's couched with all this other nonsense that I'm taking in all day. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Like, how many things can you take in in a day? | ||
| How many, like, good memories can you make in a day? | ||
| Or is there another way that you have to, like, find a way to imprint those memories? | ||
| You know, my pops, his short-term memory is pretty much gone. | ||
| But, like, with repetition, things start to lock in in his long-term memory. | ||
| And it was like... | ||
| It was a fascinating thing for him to remember my wife. | ||
| First few times I had to introduce her and everything like that, and then eventually he's like, how's everything with Emma? | ||
| And I was like, what the fuck? | ||
| How does memory work if Yeah, like something transferred. | ||
| Like he can get around the city fine. | ||
| He can take the subway. | ||
| He can do all these things. | ||
| Does he have Alzheimer's? | ||
| He has what's called MCI. Mild cognitive impairment, I think it's called it. | ||
| Sometimes that leads into Alzheimer's. | ||
| Sometimes it doesn't. | ||
| But basically he zaps you with your short-term memory. | ||
| Yeah, it's tricky. | ||
| And then you think about it with yourself, like how is that, you know, could that happen to you? | ||
| I remember, you know, times where I... What's the cause of it? | ||
| Is it just genetic? | ||
| Might be genetic. | ||
| You know, who knows? | ||
| I think, you know, we'll look into a lot of, like, these... | ||
| Drugs that people have taken for depression and other things and maybe, who knows, in 50 years from now we'll go, wow, that had some other side effects that could be bad. | ||
| Isn't it fascinating if you were objective about this and you looked at human beings? | ||
| You would look at human beings. | ||
| I know we think of ourselves as very different than any other system. | ||
| Because we're humans. | ||
| We don't even really think of ourselves as being a part of wildlife, right? | ||
| Kind of interesting. | ||
| We call it wildlife and we call, you know, we have life. | ||
| We're not wild. | ||
| Go to Florida. | ||
| Yeah, there's us and then there's wildlife. | ||
| It's very interesting. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| But human beings are very similar to cars. | ||
| We're very similar to, if you looked at the amount of automobiles that exist, there's automobiles that are notoriously durable and reliable. | ||
| There's like Toyota Land Cruisers. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Toyota Corolla. | |
| Yeah, Corolla. | ||
| I was about to say, Corolla you have for 20 years. | ||
| Bro, you get a Toyota, that motherfucker's never gonna break. | ||
| Dude, we had one as a kid. | ||
| Every Toyota I've ever had just last and last and last. | ||
| They're so durable. | ||
| Their goal, a friend of mine was just telling me this, Phil was telling me this, that their goal is to last for 30 years in a third world country. | ||
| Like, don't fucking, nobody builds a car like that. | ||
| And it's true, because when you see what the Taliban uses. | ||
| Yes, Land Cruisers. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then there's Range Rovers. | ||
| You get five, ten? | ||
| And then there's, you know, a 1990 Chevy Malibu. | ||
| How long does that last? | ||
| Piece of shit. | ||
| It is, yeah. | ||
| And that's the cop car, right? | ||
| It's a piece of shit. | ||
| The cop car was the Impala. | ||
| Oh, the Impala. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| Why is that? | ||
| But then there's like a 2023 Corvette. | ||
| You're like, damn! | ||
| That's a great car, yeah. | ||
| It's like there's different kinds of cars. | ||
| But is that a choice? | ||
| No, I mean by the manufacturer. | ||
| Are they going like, if we make a car that's good for 30 years, people will keep it for 30 years. | ||
| If we make a car that's good for 10, they re-up after 10. It's a good question. | ||
| Like, why did they do it the way they did it, right? | ||
| Because sensibly, like a car from... | ||
| I have a car that I love that's from 2007. It's almost 20 years old. | ||
| Like, you would think that you would need to get another car to enjoy, but you really don't. | ||
| Like, are you a fucking race car driver? | ||
| Like, what are you doing? | ||
| Like, why are you driving to go so fast? | ||
| Are you just enjoying what a car feels like to drive? | ||
| That's what you should be doing. | ||
| So it's like, why does everybody need to get new ones all the time? | ||
| Well, we're kind of programmed to think that if you're successful, that that's what you do. | ||
| You know, if you're successful, you don't roll around a 2008 Mercedes. | ||
| What is that piece of shit? | ||
| What are those stupid fucking headlights and actual key to start the engine? | ||
| Actual key. | ||
| God forbid. | ||
| Yeah, what the fuck are you doing? | ||
| Are you turning the key to start the engine? | ||
| What are you, a peasant? | ||
| Right? | ||
| It's like, what is it? | ||
| Give it a second. | ||
| Let it warm up. | ||
| Fucking stupid asshole. | ||
| Press the button. | ||
| Get a real car. | ||
| If you're doing well, you get a real car. | ||
| If you like the car, though, that's the thing. | ||
| There are people that don't care about cars. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And getting a car to impress other people when you don't care about cars is such a waste of money. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But if you love the cars, then spend your money and have some fun. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's a reason why a Range Rover costs $190,000 or whatever it is. | ||
| How much does those cost? | ||
| Yeah, around there, depending on what it is. | ||
| Because when you drive them, they're awesome. | ||
| I rented one in Salt Lake City. | ||
| It's like a giant tank of opulence. | ||
| Yeah, it is beautiful. | ||
| You feel like the world's okay. | ||
| The world's okay. | ||
| Every bump is kind of smooth. | ||
| The sound system's amazing. | ||
| Bluetooth synced up like that. | ||
| Listening to my tunes. | ||
| Just driving around Park City. | ||
| But we'll break down. | ||
| Perhaps. | ||
| It perhaps won't be as robust as the Land Cruiser. | ||
| Or as resilient as a Toyota. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But you're not paying for resilience. | ||
| That's the thing. | ||
| If you're getting a Range Rover, stop acting like this is your 30-year car. | ||
| You're choosing to buy a $200,000 SUV because you're not going to be driving along the fucking pyramids in it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Let's be honest about what's going on here. | ||
| You're in stop-and-go traffic. | ||
| It's going to break down. | ||
| You're in Beverly Hills. | ||
| What do you expect is going on here? | ||
| Tim Dillon has one of those things. | ||
| He got the Range. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| He got a few nice cars. | ||
| Tim Dillon lives like a baller. | ||
| He really does. | ||
| He and I talk about it. | ||
| I talk to him. | ||
| What do you say? | ||
| I encourage him to spend his money. | ||
| Spend that money. | ||
| Spend that money, bro. | ||
| He earns it. | ||
| Good for him. | ||
| I try to tell all of them, like, let's go. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Let's fucking go. | ||
| Wait, why? | ||
| Okay, that's interesting. | ||
| Why do you tell them to spend? | ||
| Because I don't like that, like, save it all up famine mindset. | ||
| Did you have that ever? | ||
| Because you didn't come from crazy money. | ||
| No, I did not have a spend-what-you-have mindset until I started making money. | ||
| But when I started making money, I shifted quickly. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Immediately switched. | |
| My manager thought I had a gambling problem. | ||
| Was he right? | ||
| No, no, I wasn't gambling at all. | ||
| I was eating lobster every night. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Your business manager called you and said there's an issue? | |
| He's like, what are you doing? | ||
| What are you doing with all your money? | ||
| I'm like, I'm living like a king, bitch. | ||
| Wait, when did you decide? | ||
| I've been poor since I was a little kid. | ||
| So you can handle being poor. | ||
| Poor's not scary to you. | ||
| Oh, I'm not scared. | ||
| I wasn't scared of being poor. | ||
| That's the most liberating shit. | ||
| But I was like, I'm eating lobster, son. | ||
| Yeah, I'm scared of not living life. | ||
| That's the fear I think a lot of people don't get. | ||
| Where it's just like, you've been poor, you're cool with being poor. | ||
| You're not afraid of that because you knew how to thrive within that. | ||
| You knew how to manage that. | ||
| You're afraid of having all this and not enjoying it in this one life you have. | ||
| Well, I think for sure when I first started getting money, I didn't think it was going to last. | ||
| Like, nothing had ever lasted before. | ||
| Like, why would I think that this was gonna, like... | ||
| There was no stability in it. | ||
| It's like, why would I think that this was gonna, like, keep happening? | ||
| I was gonna get on television. | ||
| Like, who the fuck gets on TV? You know? | ||
| So I was like, I'm spending this fucking money. | ||
| Like, I'm gonna have some fun. | ||
| We're just eating lobsters. | ||
| I bought a... | ||
| I bought a Volkswagen. | ||
| I got like a 1990, that car that I showed you last night, a Volkswagen Dorado, that I would bump Cool G Rap in. | ||
| No, you showed me Cool G Rap, you didn't show me the car. | ||
| Yeah, oh, it was Derek then. | ||
| I was telling him, like, I'm such a Cool G Rap fan because when I was driving the gigs in the 1990s, it was like really the best sound system I ever had in a car. | ||
| I had like a nice sound system and it was like a Blaupunkt. | ||
| It kind of had a handle. | ||
| You pull it out when you leave the car so no one steals it. | ||
| Remember that one? | ||
| The radio? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes! | |
| The radio comes out like a fucking laptop. | ||
| I was explaining this to my guys, my young guys who don't understand that the radio used to come out of the car. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And their reaction was this. | |
| They would go, hold on. | ||
| They'd go, people would steal the radio? | ||
| Bro, that was the whole thing. | ||
| And they would sell them too. | ||
| Yeah, the radio. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So you would get it so it would come out on a slider. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Remember that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You'd hold it up like a handbag. | ||
| Yeah, there was like a little hook. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And you'd be walking around. | |
| So dudes would be walking around with their fucking Blaupunk at the bar. | ||
| People would put a little sign on their car. | ||
| Yeah, please don't break in my window. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Radio's not in the car. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Isn't that wild? | ||
| People are stealing radios. | ||
| That all went away. | ||
| Once it became like an integrated computer system with Apple CarPlay and Android Play and all that. | ||
| And once just having iPod got cheap, just having music on you, it was on your phone. | ||
| People don't give Steve Jobs enough credit for that. | ||
| He really stopped a lot of car theft. | ||
| Like, breaking into cars? | ||
| Probably. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| The ability to get a song, like what we were doing last night. | ||
| Dude. | ||
| Like, the ability to get a song, like, literally instantaneously and just, like, using your thumbs and bam. | ||
| You blasting 90s hip-hop last night. | ||
| Bro. | ||
| That's my shit. | ||
| I had no clue that you liked 90s hip-hop. | ||
| That's my shit, dude. | ||
| I remember going, I was like, bro, you might like Big L. And I'm saying it as if you don't know who this guy is. | ||
| And you're like, oh yeah, Lifestyles of the Poor and Dangerous? | ||
| Love that, love that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, I got a whole playlist with Big L. Yeah, I have a Big L playlist. | |
| Big L was, boy, you talk about a tragedy. | ||
| That guy was snatched too soon. | ||
| He was really talented. | ||
| And for not even his fault. | ||
| It was, I believe, I could be wrong, his brother was the guy who was really involved. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I remember that time in New York when Big L was popping. | ||
| I was probably in elementary or middle. | ||
| Big L was rapping in a multi-syllabic way, and he had these hilariously funny punchlines. | ||
| He had this one thing, he goes, ask Beavis, I get nothing but hit. | ||
| And like, it was just like, he had like, he goes, oh god, I'm so ahead of my time, my parents haven't even met yet. | ||
| Like, he had like, kind of punchlines in the rap, like, it was funny. | ||
| There were funny lines, and I remember hearing this dude. | ||
| I didn't even know what he looked like. | ||
| That's how detached we were, right? | ||
| If you didn't have a music video out, you're just hearing this guy's bars. | ||
| And it was such a cool time in New York, where your friend could put you onto music, and there would be no way you could find out about music without your friend putting you on. | ||
| If you weren't on MTV, or The Box, or whatever the hell the channel was, your buddy had to say, you need to listen to this, and then play a cassette or CD of that person. | ||
| Everything was word of mouth. | ||
| It was almost like there was more justice because there wasn't a way where you could influence people into listening to a track. | ||
| Like yeah, I guess for sure like top 100 whatever on the radio, but if it wasn't on the radio, indie shit was literally I'm gonna tell you about this guy you need to hear about and then you're gonna go to Tower Records and you're gonna buy that fucking album. | ||
| Well dudes would try to sell their cassettes on the streets in New York. | ||
| They still do that shit and it's like fam, nobody has a CD player. | ||
| You need to chill out, like step it up, like give me a link. | ||
| Do they even make cars with CD players anymore? | ||
| No, it's done. | ||
| But they just do that because Swedish people... | ||
| How quick did that change? | ||
| That changed so quick. | ||
| Dude, I remember it. | ||
| That changed so quick. | ||
| Yeah, what is it called? | ||
| CP... What is it? | ||
| What were those players? | ||
| CP4 players or some shit? | ||
| MP3. MP3 players. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Bro! | |
| I wonder if we're living in the craziest change. | ||
| What can you compare our change with the internet to? | ||
| Is it industrial revolution? | ||
| What piece of technology changed society in the way that the internet has changed us in our lifetime? | ||
| I don't think there's anything that's comparable because I think everything is kind of exponential. | ||
| I think everything that gets invented builds on other things that get invented. | ||
| More things get invented because of it. | ||
| And then it reaches this crazy point where we're at now where you have this computer program that seems to be the most intelligent being that's ever existed. | ||
| It seems to be able to answer questions about anything. | ||
| So then the question becomes, when does it have questions of its own? | ||
| That's the real question. | ||
| When does this thing just decide, like, What are you guys doing? | ||
| What are you doing? | ||
| This fucking culture you have is nonsense. | ||
| You have a dead man in a dunce running the greatest military the world has ever known. | ||
| And everybody just like dances around and pretends everything's fine. | ||
| And as long as we have a guy with a beard wearing a dress. | ||
| Bro, imagine ChatGPT came out during COVID and was like, I think most people will be alright. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, imagine AI steps in and interferes with narrative and agenda. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Ooh, that's dangerous. | ||
| It's very dangerous because it's already doing it. | ||
| There's questions that you ask ChatGPT to do, and it'll do it. | ||
| Like, it'll mock a bunch of different religious figures, but it will not mock Muhammad. | ||
| Because ChatGPT knows. | ||
| ChatGPT He wouldn't write a joke in the style of Shane Gillis. | ||
| No. | ||
| It said, yeah, it didn't want to... | ||
| It's something about... | ||
| It didn't want to be funny? | ||
| ...some of his materials was offensive or something like that. | ||
| I mean, it basically has... | ||
| A very non-nuanced and non-comprehensive view. | ||
| It is cool to see what's happening with Shane and the success that Shane is having. | ||
| Bro, he's undeniable. | ||
| There's justice, man. | ||
| He's undeniable. | ||
| There's justice, man. | ||
| He's so good. | ||
| However good he was back then when SNL got canceled. | ||
| He's on another level now. | ||
| He's on another level. | ||
| It's one of those things that's like, that's why I love the internet. | ||
| That's why, I mean, we could talk about TikTok and we could talk about all these other things, but there are these amazing success stories that come from it and they make me have a positive attitude towards it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Because... | ||
| Yeah, without an outlet for him to express himself and, like, just do great comedy and just be hilarious... | ||
| Right. | ||
| People just fall in line with the narrative that existed. | ||
| Imagine if we're talking about a time... | ||
| Well, obviously this kind of came about because of podcasts, right? | ||
| So it's hard to imagine that. | ||
| But if it was less access, say if podcasts weren't the way they are now, there could be a moment where that's the end of his life. | ||
| Isn't that crazy? | ||
| Yeah, this is like 1985 and they put that all over the news and it was this thing. | ||
| Look at Lenny. | ||
| What happened with Lenny? | ||
| Like a narrative got set in place with Lenny? | ||
| And I don't think that Lenny in the end of his life, if I'm not mistaken, was living lavish with all this money. | ||
| No. | ||
| It was a difficult... | ||
| Fees. | ||
| And it was a different world, because the money that he would get would just be from live gigs. | ||
| And I don't think they did, like, big arenas, right? | ||
| So it's like, you know, he's traveling a lot, and he's making some money, but he also has exorbitant legal costs. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| He would go on stage with the transcripts of... | ||
| You ever seen the videos of him going on stage? | ||
| And reading what happened in the court proceedings? | ||
| He would read the trial transcripts on stage. | ||
| And then the lawyer says... | ||
| And he would go into his thing, and it wasn't funny at all. | ||
| Oh, it's not funny. | ||
| At all. | ||
| There was nothing funny about it. | ||
| It was... | ||
| People were... | ||
| They were so bored. | ||
| They didn't know what to do. | ||
| He was so obsessed with his case that he thought he could just talk about his case in front of everybody and be interesting. | ||
| I think... | ||
| I've thought about this recently, about the importance of having a comedic North Star and a version of comedy that you think is the highest version that exists and following that. | ||
| I think if you don't have that, you succumb to the will of the audience. | ||
| And that can be dangerous because your confidence is dependent on them and not the version of art you think is the greatest. | ||
| I just wonder, early on, did you have a guy who was like, this is the highest form of the art? | ||
| This is the North Star? | ||
| I like what you're saying. | ||
| I do. | ||
| I think there's probably multiple North Stars, though, always. | ||
| Because there's certain styles that always interested me in a different way. | ||
| Like, I would decide that one guy was the funniest guy, and then I'd see someone that was totally different. | ||
| And I'd be like, oh my god, he's so good. | ||
| Maybe he's the best guy. | ||
| Holy shit! | ||
| You know, it'd be like Sam Kinison, or it'd be Richard Jenny, or, you know... | ||
| When you think about... | ||
| North Stars. | ||
| I think the idea is a great idea. | ||
| The highest expression. | ||
| But I don't necessarily think there's just one. | ||
| I think it's really a community thing. | ||
| And I think if you're around a bunch of guys like Attell or Shane Gillis or you or, you know, if you're around these Ari Shafirs and fucking Mark Normans. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| If you're around these guys, oh, Tim Dillon, if you're around those guys all the time, they're fucking murdering. | ||
| They're going up and slaying, and you're all vibing off each other, and you're all having fun, and you go up together. | ||
| It's like... | ||
| Think when comics see that like if you're say if you're a comic that's starting out and you see like the way we roll I think you'll see like if you just be true to the art just true to the thing I just yeah, I get concerned when people Because I think that a lot of times, and I'm sure this is in every industry, but comedics are drawn to what is successful, right? | ||
| So they're like, okay, if interviewing people on the street is successful, I'll try that. | ||
| Or if podcasting is successful, I'll try that. | ||
| Or if posting clips is successful, I'll try that. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| And that's a normal thing. | ||
| But I think it's important within that to have a version that you think is the most pure. | ||
| Even if other people think you're wrong. | ||
| There are people who like certain types of comedy, That are different than the version I love. | ||
| But I had a version that I thought was the best. | ||
| And as long as I was being true to that, I was happy with what I did. | ||
| I was competing with that. | ||
| Not competing with... | ||
| Let's say somebody went up and they did a bunch of really woke jokes and they got fucking claps and applause, whatever. | ||
| I could be fine not doing that because I was like, I know what the best is. | ||
| Now, I might be wrong in other people's minds. | ||
| I don't give a fuck. | ||
| But I had an idea. | ||
| And that allowed me to, like, do the comedy that I did in a time... | ||
| I mean, you remember when it was like you couldn't do offensive jokes. | ||
| I mean, you were doing it. | ||
| There was a few of us doing it. | ||
| But, like, a lot of people were like, okay, I need to get on Comedy Central. | ||
| I need to do whatever. | ||
| And I was like, why was I able to do that? | ||
| And I was like, oh, well, I just saw a version that I thought was the best. | ||
| And I was like, how can I honor that? | ||
| Because I think that's the best version, despite the fact that audiences were pissed or didn't like it or doing whatever. | ||
| And I don't know. | ||
| I just feel like that's important, like to have an almost like arrogance about the version of comedy that you love. | ||
| And there could be multiple versions, don't get me wrong. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think that's a healthy thing to have as you come up doing comedy. | ||
| Because it will stop you from mimicking a thing that's successful just because you want success. | ||
| Right, right, right, right. | ||
| It will instill the purity. | ||
| Like, I don't see you going, oh, well, this is trendy, I'll try that. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Right. | ||
| And why is that? | ||
| Because you had a fucking idea of what was good. | ||
| Yeah, well, also, I don't understand that. | ||
| Like, when things are trendy, I'm like, why? | ||
| Like, what is it? | ||
| Like, what are you guys doing? | ||
| Why are you doing what everybody else is doing? | ||
| Why are your pants ripped? | ||
| Why are your pants ripped? | ||
| You buying pants that are ripped on purpose? | ||
| The fuck are you doing? | ||
| Look at me. | ||
| Look at me. | ||
| No. | ||
| Stop it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You're so interesting with your ripped pants. | |
| Thank God your pants look destroyed. | ||
| What the fuck are we doing? | ||
| What are we doing? | ||
| I'm not going on that. | ||
| That's what I think is important. | ||
| To have that fucking unbelievable, almost like religious arrogance about a version of comedy. | ||
| And I don't care if it's one-liners. | ||
| I don't care if it's stories. | ||
| I don't care what it is. | ||
| But I think allowing yourself to do that will make the most pure, authentic comedy for you. | ||
| I think so. | ||
| I think so. | ||
| And that's what I want to see. | ||
| I think you also have to be flexible. | ||
| You also have to, like, not be committed to, like, the way you're doing it. | ||
| And just be open. | ||
| Because sometimes, like, it's one of the best ways to create new jokes. | ||
| Like, sometimes a whole new way of looking at things comes about if you're not, like, committed to, like, one particular mindset. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Not ideology, but form. | ||
| For me, it was always like I saw people that were really authentic, and I really loved that. | ||
| And I was like, oh, that guy's being really authentic. | ||
| And I didn't feel like he's lying to me. | ||
| I feel like I could kind of trust him, and I feel like he was talking in a way that he would talk to me if he was offstage. | ||
| And like... | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It's an art form. | ||
| It is. | ||
| It's an art form to doing that. | ||
| That's what's so fascinating about this whole thing. | ||
| There really is an art form to doing that. | ||
| We're so lucky we're existing in a time where people value it. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Because there's been like bubbles. | ||
| And were you around when it popped? | ||
| I came onto the scene, I did my first open mic in 1988. So in 1988, the bubble was kind of already popping. | ||
| But there was still a lot of work. | ||
| What happened was, something happened. | ||
| Something happened in the 1980s where people could just talk like a comedian. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They didn't have any punchlines. | |
| And some of these guys got pretty far. | ||
| There's this one guy, I don't want to mention his name, but I would bring comedians around. | ||
| I want you to watch this. | ||
| I want you to watch this because there is nothing there. | ||
| He's not saying anything. | ||
| It's fucking 100% nonsense, but he talks like a comedian. | ||
| And it was so mundane. | ||
| His points were so boring. | ||
| And I took a couple of comics. | ||
| We're sitting in the back of the Laugh Factory. | ||
| I go, I just want you to watch this guy. | ||
| Just watch this guy. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| I go, yeah, yeah. | ||
| You could do that in the 80s. | ||
| And then this guy was like surviving in the early 90s. | ||
| And then it just... | ||
| Like one of those skeletons that turns into dust when it gets like a vampire. | ||
|
unidentified
|
When the sun comes out. | |
| That's what it's like. | ||
| He just went away. | ||
| But I remember he was like fucking arrogant. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Like one of these arrogant weirdos who would like wear suits. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And he would do this really clean comedy, this clunky, boring... | ||
| But he thought it was the best comedy. | ||
| And he thought that we were talking about silly things, using bad words. | ||
| Ooh, naughty. | ||
| But there was a time where people were so excited to see comedy. | ||
| All you had to do is sound like a comedian. | ||
| And talk about things comedians talked about. | ||
| And you could make a living. | ||
| So this is... | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| This is why I'm concerned about now. | ||
| It's like, what do we do to uphold the standard? | ||
| Because we're in a bubble. | ||
| I've seen hot girls doing comedy. | ||
| Good. | ||
| Let them do comedy. | ||
| I hope they're good. | ||
| I hope they're good too. | ||
| It's not a bubble. | ||
| It's not a bubble. | ||
| Live comedy is the best way to see comedy. | ||
| And just by nature of the fucking sheer numbers of people, there can't be a bubble. | ||
| No, I'm not talking about bubble because I think that being funny is social currency now with having a funny caption or a funny meme or a funny post. | ||
| I think people really value funny now. | ||
| I think that's why it's there. | ||
| And then we're the funniest people, so obviously there's going to be a value for us, right? | ||
| But I do think that more people will want to try. | ||
| I wish everybody tried stand-up so they knew what it was. | ||
| But I do think that it's important that what we were saying earlier about a club or a scene. | ||
| How do we hold that? | ||
| What is the standard? | ||
| And how do we maintain that standard? | ||
| Because maintaining that standard is what maintains that scene. | ||
| It maintains that expectation, even for the audience. | ||
| I'm curious. | ||
| What do you think about that? | ||
| Well, it's an individual's choice. | ||
| And then it's a community's choice in terms of like, you know, if like If you're in a group of comics and one person starts doing something that sucks, or they start doing something that really bums out the audience, or maybe they're doing a premise that's not that original. | ||
| If that happens, that is a giant problem. | ||
| That's like a bunch of cells encountering a virus. | ||
| That's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. | ||
| You can't let that virus proliferate. | ||
| What is that? | ||
| What is that? | ||
| And occasionally, people will go crazy. | ||
| This is also part of the problem of being a comedian. | ||
| Like, what percentage of people stay sane from birth to death? | ||
| It's not 100. It's not 100. So sometimes people go crazy and these people were amongst you before they were crazy and then they're deep in and now all of a sudden you got a fucking complete lunatic that's in your cycle of friends that thinks that the CIA is writing jokes for him. | ||
| And that they're ruining his punchlines. | ||
| You're like, oh no, what do I do? | ||
| I've been friends with guys and saw them go insane. | ||
| Like, what do you do about that? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You ever babysit that guy all day? | ||
| Can you bring that guy back? | ||
| You might kill him while you're trying. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You might give him like a fucking coffee cup filled with acid. | ||
| Mushrooms. | ||
| Mushrooms heals all. | ||
| Let's let mushrooms heal all. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, maybe, I don't know. | ||
| I mean, maybe people go crazy and they come back. | ||
| I'm sure if they go crazy, I know people have come back from mental illness before. | ||
| It's not like it's insurmountable, but it depends upon the case, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| We're just in this, like, weird time right now where, like, I think it's good because I remember the scrutiny of doing, like, edgy jokes before. | ||
| And I don't feel like that exists now. | ||
| I think we blew that shit out. | ||
| I think we did. | ||
| I think we blew that shit out. | ||
| I think it's also the sheer numbers of people that listen to our podcast, it's like, hey, we're not alone. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| If the majority likes it, it wins, right? | ||
| Yeah, we're not alone. | ||
| You guys are wrong. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You're trapped in this ideology that you think jokes have to reflect your actual feelings about things. | ||
| No. | ||
| That's not the game we're playing. | ||
| They reflect the things that we feel that are fucked up. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| We're just trying, and we're trying to be really funny. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Bro. | |
| Like, you're missing the point. | ||
| And if you're attacking us, that's... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Bro. | |
| I, uh... | ||
| Having to explain to Yomi Park the joke that... | ||
| Bro, bro, bro, bro. | ||
| Let me just tell everybody. | ||
| Let me tell everybody when Andrew and I, like, I will text him occasionally. | ||
| Yonmi, please, I apologize. | ||
| You're a lovely woman and I really enjoy talking to you. | ||
| This is not disrespectful. | ||
| Not disrespectful at all, but I would text him photos of Yonmi Park and then a photo of a weightlifter. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The fucking emoji. | |
| The weightlifter emoji, the heavies. | ||
| So, Yon Lee's coming on the podcast. | ||
| I know! | ||
| But I had to have a combo with her before. | ||
| I had to tell her about the heavies, right? | ||
| I didn't explain it right. | ||
| The first time she was on my podcast, I was talking to Andrew about it, but he was like, yo, she got the heavies. | ||
|
unidentified
|
So, what I said... | |
| What I said was... | ||
| We're talking about a woman who survived North Korea. | ||
| She escaped North Korea when she was 13. She tells this horrific story. | ||
| Horrific story of her journey to get to America. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And then she's like, yo, she got the heaviest son. | |
| I said on the pod, as a joke, I go, bro, I go, I go, I go, bro, I was about to start feeding my wife rats. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right? | |
| So as a joke, so Yomi's coming on the pod, right? | ||
| And I go, I can't let her come on the pod without knowing the joke. | ||
| I feel bad, like I want her to be inside, right? | ||
| So I called her, and there's a phone convo of me trying to explain to Yomi what the heavies means. | ||
| So I go, hey, I'm so grateful that you're coming on. | ||
| I just want you to know something because you're inside on the joke here. | ||
| I don't want anything to be making fun of you. | ||
| I just want you to be inside. | ||
| But have you seen people putting the weight lift emoji underneath your Instagram? | ||
|
unidentified
|
And she goes, she's so sweet. | |
| She goes, yeah, I thought that they thought I was getting fat. | ||
| She thought that they were saying that she was fat the whole time. | ||
| What? | ||
| And she's coming from this country where they're not feeding her at all. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And finally she's in a place where she can eat food and she's getting fucking fat. | |
| Oh my god. | ||
| Imagine being her and think, you've met her, she's so frail. | ||
|
unidentified
|
She's tiny, bro. | |
| She's so tiny. | ||
| Not all of us. | ||
| Imagine thinking that she's fat, bro. | ||
| So I go, no, no, no, it's not that. | ||
| And I'm stuttering. | ||
| I'm like the most uncomfortable. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I explained it. | |
| Is it on video? | ||
| Yes, I have video. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'll show you. | |
| And it's – I go, I just – well, you know how you're – you have kind of like sneaky fat tits and – I just – I just think – I just think – you'll see. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Lovely lady. | |
| Amazing lady. | ||
| Listen, so I go, but we were just talking about that. | ||
| We call those the heavies and it's just like a funny inside joke. | ||
| And she goes, oh, that's great. | ||
| That's awesome. | ||
| That's so funny. | ||
| That's so funny. | ||
| Blah, blah, blah. | ||
| She thinks it's hilarious. | ||
| And then comes in the pod and we joke around it. | ||
| And when we were joking around with her, she said an interesting thing. | ||
| She goes, wow, I've never had anybody make fun of me to my face. | ||
| And then she goes, freedom is amazing. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| And it was a cool thing. | ||
| She goes, with her story, nobody makes fun of her. | ||
| Nobody teases. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right, of course. | |
| We weren't making fun of her story. | ||
| We're just bossing balls and teasing. | ||
| But she had never had that happen, at least on camera. | ||
| And even that teasing is about an attractive attribute. | ||
| We were so—we wanted to make sure she was—I mean, we literally have the weight. | ||
|
unidentified
|
There's a picture where she's holding. | |
| Oh my god, that's so ridiculous. | ||
| Her holding onto that thing that says a thousand pounds. | ||
| Is this too inside? | ||
| Because you and I, we go back and forth, brother. | ||
| This is culture now, bro. | ||
| Dude, we see people post randomly that have no clue we've spoken about it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Just randomly call big boobs the heavies. | |
| They have no clue that this happened here. | ||
| Did you invent that term, the heavies? | ||
| Yeah, I don't know. | ||
| I just call it the heavies. | ||
| But was that the first time you said it when you saw her? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, probably when I said it to you. | |
| Oh my god! | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Bro, that's all I call him now. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I mean, that's it. | |
| That's all I call him now. | ||
| People call it that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's culture, man. | |
| Dude. | ||
| That's culture. | ||
| We were talking about this dude with his girlfriend. | ||
| Like, why she bosses him around. | ||
| I go, yo, she got the heavies. | ||
| She got the heavies, bro. | ||
| Like, you could boss around if you got the heavies. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's different. | |
| Yeah, like, she's a little extra hot. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The Nancy Pelosi's. | |
| The Nancy Pelosi's. | ||
| Nancy's got the heavies. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The heavies are crazy. | |
| Yo, I got to pee so bad. | ||
| Let's take a piss. | ||
| Let me take a little pee break. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Wait, what were we just saying? | ||
| Oh, you were talking about flow state. | ||
| No, no, yonmi. | ||
| Oh, yonmi. | ||
| Yeah, yonmi. | ||
| Bro, there's a funny thing that happens, like having a brain that jumps to jokes all the time. | ||
| Is like... | ||
| Because there's a moment like... | ||
| You know, I was listening to the Yomi story and she was telling this... | ||
| I mean, just this immensely tragic story. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Like, the most tragic thing ever. | ||
| But she was talking about this thing where like... | ||
| Her mom got sold to mentally retarded farmers. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And... | ||
| It was like... | ||
| My brain... | ||
| I wanted... | ||
| I didn't say it, but I wanted to know what crop can retards farm? | ||
| Well, it might not be a crop. | ||
| It might be animals. | ||
| But a farmer... | ||
| Oh, I guess farmers do have animals. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I just needed to know, but I couldn't ask it without it seemingly being insulted. | ||
| Because it seems like I'm insulting, but I'm also like... | ||
| I just want to know the crop... | ||
| And that's just like... | ||
| Do you want to imagine like your life being at its lowest point? | ||
| Like someone sold you to mentally handicapped people who are farmers? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And you're out in the woods somewhere. | ||
| There's no cell phones. | ||
| There's no electricity. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And you just have to exist. | ||
| Almost like... | ||
| You know, I mean, it's not... | ||
| You're not a caveman. | ||
| You're living in modern times. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You're living in a time where there's electricity and televisions and movies and probably living in a time where Rambo was on the screen. | ||
| And at that same time... | ||
| You are the property of mentally handicapped people that are farmers in the middle of nowhere in China. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, holy shit, man. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| How the fuck do you get out of that? | ||
| That's the kind of conversation I want to have with those Republican pull-yourself-up-by-your-bootstraps people. | ||
| But you feel like you could escape from mentally retarded farmers though, right? | ||
| Some of them are strong. | ||
| But what if you gave them some ice cream or something and they were really focused on that? | ||
| You can't escape from your dog, man. | ||
| Your dog's stupid. | ||
| People are way fucking smarter. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Even dumb people are smarter than a dog. | |
| Bro, they're gonna keep you around. | ||
| They'll chain you up. | ||
| You'd be like a pet kangaroo they have in their house. | ||
| You know what's the most fucked up statistic? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Is that there's more slavery today than there was before slavery was abolished in America. | ||
| But what is that? | ||
| Population density or something? | ||
| It's probably that, but it's also like what we consider slavery. | ||
| There's places where you're not a slave, but you really can't leave. | ||
| So it's like indentured servitude. | ||
| Or like cobalt mining. | ||
| You don't have any food. | ||
| Where are you going to go? | ||
| Where does our guilt extend? | ||
| Like, if we outsource all the things that we're guilty about, does it leave at our border? | ||
| Never. | ||
| It never leaves. | ||
| You have a phone that's made by slaves. | ||
| But do you feel guilty about it? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| You do? | ||
| Yeah, for sure. | ||
| If there was a company that came along that was like, if Samsung said, hey, we're going to make all of our phones... | ||
| Cruelty-free. | ||
| Cruelty-free. | ||
| We're going to get all of our cobalt from this place where we can ensure you that there's nothing there and no Chinese factory workers making 16 cents a day or whatever the fuck they make. | ||
| If there was a phone that was made in America that cost twice as much, I'd buy it in a fucking heartbeat. | ||
| But there isn't. | ||
| There isn't. | ||
| And because there isn't, what do we do? | ||
| We put up with the guilt? | ||
| Well, they fucked up. | ||
| They fucked us, okay? | ||
| And to be connected to something where you absolutely need it, but it's morally reprehensible at its very core. | ||
| Like, imagine how many people have tweeted self-righteous things on a phone that was made by slaves. | ||
| That's the reality of these phones. | ||
| And Apple's one of the richest fucking companies on planet Earth. | ||
| I don't know what the logistics would be involved in making a phone in America with skilled labor that gets paid a fair wage and gets health insurance and union benefits and all that stuff. | ||
| But whatever it is, I feel like I would like to pay that. | ||
| Do we have COBOL? And if I don't have the money, I'll buy less phones. | ||
| I have a fucking iPhone 11. One of my phone lines is an iPhone 11. It's great. | ||
| It still works. | ||
| Still seems so normal when I fire it up. | ||
| It doesn't seem any different to me. | ||
| But do we have the mineral? | ||
| Like, do we have cobalt in America that we can mine? | ||
| I don't think we do in America. | ||
| That's the tricky thing. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Is cobalt available in America? | ||
| I thought it was only available in like the Congo. | ||
| Well, that's where the primary source is for sure. | ||
| But I think there's at least one other place on Earth. | ||
| I don't remember correctly. | ||
| Ooh, Mexico. | ||
| Let's go. | ||
| Mexico's this shit, dude. | ||
| Listen, we have a problem with the cartels. | ||
| Let's just, like, Mexico. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Do we have a problem with them? | |
| Do we have a problem with the cartels, or are we working with the cartels? | ||
| Well, for sure, someone's working with them. | ||
| I mean, it's not just, like, 100% Mexican citizens that are sneaking across here and doing all this business. | ||
| Someone's working with them. | ||
| Goddamn, what's wrong with my throat? | ||
| Yeah, someone for sure is working with them. | ||
| But it's not good. | ||
| It's not good to have this, like, fake scenario. | ||
| You have a fake scenario. | ||
| Say, drugs are bad. | ||
| If you make drugs illegal, no one's gonna do drugs. | ||
| Like, your math sucks. | ||
| Okay? | ||
| Because that's not the correct math. | ||
| The correct math is, if you make drugs illegal, then illegal people sell drugs. | ||
| You fucking asshole. | ||
| And so now you've propped up a multi-billion dollar industry south of the border filled with ruthless murderers. | ||
| Idaho. | ||
| It's the only cobalt mine in the United States and it's going to remain so. | ||
| Okay, so we have some cobalt here. | ||
| I'm sure they could find some more. | ||
| Okay, maybe we have just enough for us. | ||
| How about just for us? | ||
| Let the world make their own moral decisions. | ||
| Maybe if we legitimately are the moral high ground, we could encourage the rest of the world to realize the same thing we were talking about earlier, about having too much money. | ||
| Just don't... | ||
| At a certain point in time, you have to just figure out what's best for everybody. | ||
| And in this situation, if I was the king of the world, if I was the king of America, I would say, how about we only make phones that are in America? | ||
| We make American-made phones with American – we'll have sanitary conditions that are safe and provide healthcare, all the things that you would hope someone working a fucking cobalt mine would get. | ||
| Give them a great wage. | ||
| Like, make it so that this is an even exchange. | ||
| It's not a negative exchange. | ||
| Protect them from all the... | ||
| And if we knew that the cobalt we're getting on our phone, you don't have to worry. | ||
| These guys make $100,000 a year. | ||
| They're fucking well paid. | ||
| They live in a great community. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay, great. | |
| Now I don't feel bad about my phone. | ||
| But if you watch those videos from Foxconn, you see those fucking poor people. | ||
| Slaving away all day long in this sweatshop 16 hours a day. | ||
| They have bunks there and shit. | ||
| They put nets around the building to keep people from jumping off. | ||
| That is so wild. | ||
| Instead of changing the conditions these people have to work. | ||
| They won't let you kill you. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| They're like, get back to work. | ||
| They'll grab you by your hair, fucking drag you back down onto the floor. | ||
| You probably owe them money or something. | ||
| I mean, I don't know how they fucking do that. | ||
| Yeah, it's a tricky one. | ||
| You would want everything you use in your everyday life to have a clean connection to ethically sourced materials... | ||
| You know, great relationships with workers, no greedy corporations that are fucking over the environment. | ||
| Everybody would want that. | ||
| I think they'd want that if they had excess. | ||
| I think most people are, like, trying to pay their fucking rent. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| And they're like, alright, if this is a little bit cheaper, I have a little bit more money for my family, my parents who are sick, and my kids. | ||
| Like, I can buy them another fucking baseball mitt. | ||
| And so they can't even consider people in the Congo. | ||
| And I think that's the tricky thing where, like, they know. | ||
| It's almost like the Amazon situation where it's like most people probably know that Amazon might not be the best situation for, like, mom-and-pop businesses, but it's so convenient to them and it's so much cheaper and it's so efficient that they just go, all right, well, this is great for me. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, there's that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It is interesting, but I think that... | ||
| In those circumstances, when there's people that just can't afford to buy whatever it is, ethically sourced and organically grown, there should be other options. | ||
| But if there was a clear option that someone could take... | ||
| If a phone costs... | ||
| 1,000 bucks. | ||
| 1,200 bucks, right? | ||
| This article I just looked up as saying that cell phones are not what's driving the cobalt price rise. | ||
| It is... | ||
| A price rise. | ||
| It's batteries. | ||
| It's car batteries. | ||
| Well, yeah, well, that was the... | ||
| Like Teslas and shit? | ||
| But that is what they use them in cell phones. | ||
| It's like lithium ion batteries. | ||
| 8 grams of cobalt is in a cell phone. | ||
| And how much is in, like, a 9-volt battery? | ||
|
unidentified
|
How much... | |
| I don't know if it's a 9-volt, but the rechargeable battery. | ||
| That's okay. | ||
| I see your point. | ||
| You're right. | ||
| It's everything electronics. | ||
| We're thinking about it as cell phones, but that's because cell phones are the primary method of communication. | ||
| Just how many podcasts are listened to on cell phones? | ||
| All of them? | ||
| Or is it like 90%? | ||
| Imagine if cell phones were made illegal and people still had to get podcasts. | ||
| Done. | ||
| The majority of modern electric vehicles use these battery chemistries and lithium nickel manganese cobalt oxide, which have a cathode containing 10-20% cobalt. | ||
| And what was the cell phone? | ||
| Eight grams. | ||
| Eight grams. | ||
| But that's a different measurement unit, right? | ||
| One of them's percentage, one of them's grams. | ||
| Either way, I mean, it's kind of for everything with lithium-ion batteries. | ||
| It does something to stabilize it. | ||
| You know what it's like? | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's almost like asking 4 to 30 kilograms for a UV... 5%. | |
| Okay, cell structure requires a minimum amount of cobalt, about 5%, and less lower energy density. | ||
| Lithium-ion batteries without cobalt are used at the expense of performance. | ||
| A typical smartphone battery requires only 5 to 20 grams of cobalt, whereas an EV requires between 4 and 30 kilograms. | ||
| Whoa! | ||
| That's a lot more. | ||
| It's electric cars. | ||
| Electric cars are fucking up the environment. | ||
| Oh no. | ||
| Isn't that like, what a conundrum. | ||
| Life is funny. | ||
| I mean, it's not just the environment. | ||
| It's like, when I'm saying the environment, I'm like the frequency of the earth. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| You know, like you're, until somebody cleans that up, the minds, until somebody actually looks at it, like every electronic thing with lithium ion batteries is connected to this horrific crime against humanity. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| What are we doing? | ||
| Nothing. | ||
| Nothing. | ||
| What? | ||
| All the chitter chatter, all the talk about equality and equity and helping and charity. | ||
| What about that? | ||
| We're all personally responsible. | ||
| Yeah, bro, this ain't a secret. | ||
| It's not like a fucking X marks a spot in a pirate map. | ||
| Nope. | ||
| Google. | ||
| Yeah, Google. | ||
| And I had Siddharth Kaur on my podcast. | ||
| We talked about it in front of fucking millions of people. | ||
| People know it's a thing. | ||
| They're not even talking about it. | ||
| They're not doing shit. | ||
| It's inconvenient. | ||
| It's too inconvenient to care about. | ||
| It's very inconvenient. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| For all of us. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| We're not going to stop using our phones. | ||
| Idaho Cell Phone Company. | ||
| You going to start it? | ||
| That should be the name of the company. | ||
| Idaho Cell Phone Company. | ||
| Dude, Idaho? | ||
| Because they mine cobalt. | ||
| If Apple was smart, they'd make a deal. | ||
| You could buy an iPhone, you could buy an iPhone Pro, iPhone Pro Max, you could buy that. | ||
| Or you could buy an Idaho cell phone company. | ||
| iPhone? | ||
| iPhone. | ||
| It costs $2,000, but it's made in fucking Idaho, and you get to see the photos of the people that work in the factory, and you know that everybody's getting paid well, and everybody has health insurance. | ||
| You know, you would do it. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| It would be a big status thing to have the Idaho cell phone company's iPhone. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| But that is good. | ||
| That is good. | ||
| We reward caring about other people. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| We want that. | ||
| We want that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I-C-C. I-C-C. Idaho Cell Phone Company. | |
| This might happen. | ||
| Just old school, just a fucking... | ||
| Flat phone? | ||
| Like the state of Idaho, like the way it's on the map, like on the back, just says I-C-C. And everybody, you got an I-C-C? Oh, shit. | ||
| Cool, bro. | ||
| Helping out the environment. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Dude, this might be... | ||
| Dude, fuck a blue check. | ||
| Yeah, have your phones made by people who are getting paid to work. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's it. | |
| What a novel idea. | ||
| You get your own color text. | ||
| It's not blue, it's not green. | ||
| It's free. | ||
| It's freedom. | ||
| Right, would it be purple, like Prince? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You get purple text. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Purple text. | |
| Right. | ||
| That's all they would have to do. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's it. | |
| Everybody would want a purple text. | ||
| Imagine a guy texts a girl with that purple text. | ||
| And she got a text back with her shitty green. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
| No, it'd be the opposite. | ||
| No guy's gonna care if a girl has green. | ||
| It's like, I'll buy her another phone. | ||
| Yeah, we're gonna fuck them. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But we're gonna level them up. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| We're going to make them carry on. | ||
| I think the more disturbing thing would be the woman who has purple. | ||
| That's intimidating. | ||
| And then the man has green. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You're hitting her with the green? | |
| You're like, oh no, he hit me with an Android text. | ||
| It's easily interceptable. | ||
| I can't hit purple with green! | ||
| I'm not ready for this, girl! | ||
| Yeah, there's a lot of colors on my palate. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Isn't it funny? | ||
| The Android phone thing is very interesting. | ||
| They were joking around about it because Brian Simpson uses an Android phone and I have Android envy because my main phone is an iPhone but I have an Android phone too. | ||
| It's a good fucking phone. | ||
| There's things that suck though. | ||
| The fact that you can't send things through AirDrop. | ||
| AirDrop is big. | ||
| Well, that's what Apple does. | ||
| It creates the moat. | ||
| Yeah, and iMessage is big. | ||
| They're smart. | ||
| They're very smart. | ||
| They know what they're doing, man. | ||
| They're just so great at creating the moat and making everything so seamless for you. | ||
| But they were all calling Brian Simpson a peasant. | ||
| I'm like, bro, he's got a Samsung Galaxy S23 Ultra. | ||
| That's a $1,400, $1,500 phone. | ||
| That's not like a cheap phone. | ||
| It's the same price as a really expensive iPhone. | ||
| It's the best Android phone you can get. | ||
| He's just stuck in a... | ||
| But once you started with Samsung, it was poor. | ||
| The thing is, it's like you're in a different little world. | ||
| Yeah, I'm in that world. | ||
| You're in a world... | ||
| Part of the narrative, I'm caught up in it and I know it's bullshit and I know it's not true and I know all the facts and I know all the pixels and all that kind of shit from the Samsung are better. | ||
| And I see those videos where Samsung compares it to an iPhone and it's way better in every different version of it. | ||
| And I'm still like, this is... | ||
| It's not way better. | ||
| It's marginally better. | ||
| Oh, I thought it's like... | ||
| The only thing that's way better is taking pictures of the moon, and it turns out it's not really taking pictures of the moon. | ||
| Dude, that's the best. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You're the best. | |
| The best. | ||
| Dude, that's why you've got to appreciate nerds, man. | ||
| You've got to appreciate these guys who are going out there, fact-checking everything. | ||
| Bro, they took a photo of a blurry photo of the moon on a screen. | ||
| Okay, so first of all, Samsung was claiming that their phone can take 100x zoom pictures, and they proved it. | ||
| Well, it definitely can take 100x zoom pictures, but you have to understand, like, what it's doing with that moon shot is way stronger than 100x. | ||
| It's doing some shenanigans with artificial intelligence. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Because 100, if you do the 100 zoom on a galaxy ultra, it's a legitimate zoom. | ||
| It's not just things that it knows are going to be there, like the moon. | ||
| Because the moon, you know the moon doesn't turn? | ||
| Do you know that? | ||
| What do you mean, it doesn't turn? | ||
| The moon doesn't turn. | ||
| We turn, the moon is locked into our orbit, and we see the same side of the moon, always. | ||
| But we turn. | ||
| Yeah, but the moon turns with us. | ||
| So it turns at the exact same rate that we turn? | ||
| No, no, it follows us. | ||
| Ah, so we're getting the version of the moon at the same time. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Aren't we... | ||
| So, sun is here. | ||
| We are... | ||
| Pick up the skulls. | ||
| Yeah, so... | ||
| So, this is us. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Hold on, this is gonna be... | ||
| This is us. | ||
| Right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Moon. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Moon is rotating around us. | ||
| We're rotating around the sun. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| So you're saying the moon is rotating around us the exact same speed. | ||
| The moon is rotating around us but not rotating. | ||
| So it's not spinning as it's rotating. | ||
| We spin. | ||
| And it follows us. | ||
| Why doesn't it spin? | ||
| That I don't understand. | ||
| Because it follows us. | ||
| Like, say, look. | ||
| Here's the palm of my hand. | ||
| Well, I'll show you right here. | ||
| Watch me. | ||
| Watch me. | ||
| Here's the palm of my hand, right? | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Now imagine this is the Earth. | ||
| Imagine the Earth is spinning. | ||
| And the palm of my hand follows the earth as it spins, but you only see the palm of my hand. | ||
| You don't see my knuckles. | ||
| You don't see the back of my hand. | ||
| You see the palm of my hand because it never spins. | ||
| So the moon, when we see the moon, so like if you're looking out and you see the moon, you see the same moon every night because you never see a moon that's spinning. | ||
| The moon doesn't spin. | ||
| Ah! | ||
| Hence, dark side of the moon. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| So that's why it's a moon and not an individual planet. | ||
| Because it's as big, it's actually bigger than Pluto, right? | ||
| And Pluto was a planet for a long time. | ||
| An individual planet would be locked into the gravity of the sun. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| But since it's locked into our gravity... | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| It's a moon. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| See how it works? | ||
| See as the earth springs, the moon gives us the same face constantly. | ||
| So we come around and see it, because the moon's gone, then the moon's there, but we always see the same side. | ||
| Anything interesting? | ||
| Aliens. | ||
| Do you think? | ||
| Aliens and Nazis. | ||
| Mostly Nazis. | ||
|
unidentified
|
the aliens picked the worst group of people to collaborate with Or the best. | |
| What if aliens just cared about technology so much? | ||
| They're like, oh, these guys got some good ideas. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And they didn't even learn about any of the other shit. | |
| They just were like, who understands rocket propulsion the best? | ||
| Imagine if they thought about us the same way we think about wasps. | ||
| Where it's just like, it doesn't matter, I'll pick one. | ||
| Let them kill each other. | ||
| But they're really good at designing engines. | ||
| And eventually we get up there and we go, listen, buddy, there's some pretty bad other shit going on with the Nazis. | ||
| And we have to explain to them what Jewish people are. | ||
| Imagine that conversation. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, well, okay, but the engines are amazing. | ||
| BMW is the shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They're into the cars! | |
| Have you seen an SL500? E46, BMW, M3. Shut the fuck up. | ||
| Shut up. | ||
| So is that the thing? | ||
| Is that what they think? | ||
| Is that the conspiracy? | ||
| Give me the conspiracy, no facts associated whatsoever. | ||
| Well, the conspiracy is that there was connections between the Nazis and the occult. | ||
| And this is the thing that they always talk about, like maybe even Satanism, maybe even summoning evil entities from other dimensions and that. | ||
| You know, the real conspiracy is that, like, if you think about the amount of horrific things they did, they were absolutely abhorrent, absolutely, like, contrary to what we would think of as the best values of human nature. | ||
| And the whole country got behind this. | ||
| Like, how did that happen? | ||
| How did they kill so many people? | ||
| If you were a person who was inclined to... | ||
| And I'm not saying I'm not. | ||
| I'm not saying I don't believe in demons and Satan. | ||
| I'm not saying I don't. | ||
| Because I think that's foolish too. | ||
| Imagine if it was real. | ||
| You see that type of evil, you go, okay, well maybe that's associated with something. | ||
| But you've got to think something happened. | ||
| During that time where the world dipped into a darker dimension than it's ever experienced, at least in the lifetimes of those people that experienced that. | ||
| Like, what is that? | ||
| What the fuck causes that? | ||
| Is that demons? | ||
| So you think that they tap into something? | ||
| They tap into a dark energy? | ||
| I think it's a part of everything and maybe a part of us, which is why you can talk about the Mongols and what the fuck they did and why you talk about the Comanches. | ||
| And now it took like a hundred years for people to conquer Texas. | ||
| Because they just kept getting slaughtered. | ||
| Unbelievable savagery. | ||
| Everybody got slaughtered! | ||
| Well they also had that horse tech. | ||
| They have horse tech. | ||
| They also had multiple arrows in their fingers. | ||
| And these dudes had muskets. | ||
| It was musket time. | ||
| It wasn't until they came up with the Colt 45. It wasn't a Colt 45. The Revolver. | ||
| Yeah, Colt Revolver. | ||
| Colt Revolver was the first time they ever could shoot more than once at a time, and it changed the game. | ||
| Not enough spoken about that in history and how that carved out America on the planet. | ||
| Did the Colt 45 create America? | ||
| It wasn't a Colt 45, whatever the Colt Revolver, yeah. | ||
| Did the Colt Revolver create America? | ||
| It kind of did, because if someone didn't come up, you know, they didn't think that was necessary in war, so they weren't even going to, like, utilize it. | ||
| And then the Texas Rangers were the first people to go, I think, I see a fucking need to shoot multiple bullets. | ||
| Yeah, because these guys got four hours. | ||
| And rapid fire, because these guys were riding on horseback, shooting under the horse's neck. | ||
| So they would dip to the side of the horse? | ||
| They would hang themselves on the side. | ||
| They would hold on to the side of the horse and they would shoot past the horse's neck. | ||
| What is holding them on the side? | ||
| Are they saddled or are they bareback? | ||
| They would do bareback. | ||
| They would hold on. | ||
| They had incredible grip with their legs. | ||
| But they had like different reins and things and ways they would hold on to the horses. | ||
| But you would just hang on to the horse and shoot underneath its body so it used its body as a shield. | ||
| As a fucking shield. | ||
| Until bang, bang, bang, bang! | ||
| Good luck. | ||
| And then they're like, oh no! | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's over. | |
| Apparently there's some wild stories about medicine men that blessed their warriors. | ||
| They were real shaman. | ||
| And then there was also con men. | ||
| Even in the world of Native Americans. | ||
| We want to think about Native Americans like they were... | ||
| They were in tune with the land. | ||
| They also had snake oil salesmen. | ||
| Yes! | ||
| They did. | ||
| So they had fake medicine men. | ||
| They would tell them, I will put a spell on you and you will never be killed by the white man's bullet. | ||
| And so they would do this fucking... | ||
| They were just making it up. | ||
| And then all of a sudden this dude's got a Henry rifle and he's shooting from 200 yards. | ||
| What's the Henry rifle? | ||
| A Henry rifle is like an old school Wild West rifle. | ||
| And they were shooting people. | ||
| What does a Henry rifle look like? | ||
| It is a pump action, right? | ||
| The old school ones? | ||
| Show me a photo of one of them. | ||
| Well, the Henry rifles, they still make Henry rifles today. | ||
| They make some dope rifles. | ||
| But this is back then. | ||
| And then this dude's head's exploding 100 yards away. | ||
| And they're like, oh no. | ||
| Because now they're realizing these guys can shoot from really far. | ||
| They can shoot from several hundred yards away with some of these more modern rifles. | ||
| When did rifles become accurate? | ||
| Because my understanding of the muskets was it was kind of a guess. | ||
| Kind of a guess. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Right? | ||
| Like, I was reading a little bit about muskets, and I think it wasn't until they did the spiral barrel or something like that. | ||
| It's called rifling. | ||
| That's why it's called a rifle. | ||
| See, the difference between a rifle and a musket is not just the way the powder knocks. | ||
| You had a flint, and the flint would make a spark. | ||
| It would light the gunpowder, and the ball would go. | ||
| But a rifle actually has rifling. | ||
| So there's a pattern to the barrel, the inside. | ||
| So it spins the bullet as it comes out. | ||
| Okay, so you shot that arrow today, right? | ||
| If you notice the back of the arrow, it has fletchings. | ||
| Those are the wings on it. | ||
| Yes, exactly. | ||
| Now in the old days, those were feathers. | ||
| They would use them to steer the arrow, but now we use like a plastic. | ||
| And those feathers, those are AAE max veins. | ||
| And so they're all like at an angle and there's four of them. | ||
| So as that arrow's coming, it's twisting and turning. | ||
| You want the turn because the spin is what creates the accuracy. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| It keeps it accurate. | ||
| And then there's also broadheads that accentuate the damage that's caused by the spin. | ||
| There's a type of broadhead called a single bevel broadhead. | ||
| This is a real Native American broadhead. | ||
| That's a real one. | ||
| So this would be the tip of an arrow? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| This is a real one. | ||
| That was, you know, who knows how many hundreds of years old before someone pulled it out of the ground. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, that's old as fuck. | ||
| I mean, maybe it was from the 1800s, maybe it was from the 1700s. | ||
| So that is an ancient broadhead, right? | ||
| Now, a modern one, they have ones that have an edge like this on one side, but not on the other. | ||
| Explain that. | ||
| So see how there's an edge here and there's an edge here on both sides, okay? | ||
| If it's beveled in on both sides to a point, it looks like a teepee, right? | ||
| But if it's only on one side, it looks like that. | ||
| And when it's on one side, it causes it to spin through the body cavity. | ||
| Oh, so it just tears up your body when it gets in. | ||
| Yeah, it continues to spin. | ||
| That's called a single bevel broadhead. | ||
| It's like a holotip. | ||
| Their version of a holotip bullet. | ||
| Their version of a holotip. | ||
| But very good because it penetrates bone. | ||
| Because it's a single blade. | ||
| There's a lot going on with those things, man. | ||
| When you see in the movies where they do the thing where they snap the arrow and they pull it out, I guess, the other side? | ||
| You could do that. | ||
| Okay, let's say you get shot with an arrow. | ||
| Arrow's stuck. | ||
| Is it just yank out the opposite way? | ||
| Or is it snap? | ||
| No, you want to push it through. | ||
| And then push it through. | ||
| Yeah, if it's poking out your back, definitely don't try to pull it back. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| Also, leave it in. | ||
| If you get shot with an arrow and it's poking down to your body, leave it in and get to a hospital. | ||
| Because you'll be able to stop the bleeding hopefully in the hospital, but if it just starts to go. | ||
| The arrow in your body will help stop bleeding far more than pulling the arrow free. | ||
| Then everything would just bleed. | ||
| And then also like the, what is this? | ||
| This guy got hit by it? | ||
| Oh my god, he got shot in the eyeball during a riot? | ||
| He got shot in the eyeball with an arrow. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| That's so insane. | ||
| How much accuracy do you have when you're shooting a parabola? | ||
| So you're not shooting straight like we did today, but when you're going for distance and it's just up in the air like you see in like medieval fights. | ||
| Right. | ||
| How much accuracy is that like just fucking plainly? | ||
| Well, you never do that, right? | ||
| Like if you're trying to shoot an animal, is that what you mean? | ||
| No, no. | ||
| I mean like when it's like human to human. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You're just shooting because- You have to judge it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's like throwing a softball. | ||
| Like I don't do that kind of archery, so I'm speaking a little bit out of tune. | ||
| When you throw a softball, like if you throw a lot of balls or a hardball, you get accustomed to how it feels when you let that ball go and you know where that catcher's mitt's going to be. | ||
| With football. | ||
| If you're going long, you're just sending it. | ||
| You don't get as much information from an arrow, a bow and arrow, because it's like you're launching something. | ||
| Whereas this, you're throwing something. | ||
| But it's kind of similar in that there's a feedback loop. | ||
| And then as you shoot more arrows, you get more and more accustomed to knowing where that arrow is going to go with distance. | ||
| But it's a brutal process of elimination and information and calculation. | ||
| It's not easy. | ||
| What we did today is so much easier than a recurve bow. | ||
| When you just have a wood bow and you're like... | ||
| Like, you have to release it yourself. | ||
| You're using your fingers to let it go. | ||
| I mean, I don't have any ego to say that there's no way I could hold it back and maintain the accuracy. | ||
| Well, it's like something else. | ||
| It's like anything else. | ||
| You have to build on it. | ||
| Like, you wouldn't just get good at it really quick. | ||
| That's strength, dude. | ||
| Like, that is... | ||
| Yeah, when I pulled it back and it locked, I was like, okay, I can kind of focus on this front part a bit, but then my hand is all fucking shaky. | ||
| John Dudley doing a 500-yard shot. | ||
| Oh, John Dudley doing a 500-yard bow shot. | ||
| It kind of comes down. | ||
| It doesn't go straight. | ||
| It comes down on this thing. | ||
| Oh, yeah, for sure, because you've got to think it's not going that fast. | ||
| Are you calculating wind and shit? | ||
| Oh, yeah, you definitely would for that. | ||
| So he's just trying to land on his target. | ||
| Yeah, that's just crazy. | ||
| John did a thing for us back at Onnit where he shot... | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| Got something in my throat. | ||
| Save that voice. | ||
| We got shows tonight, Joe. | ||
| Yeah, it's like I swallowed something. | ||
| John had a... | ||
| I think it was a 120-yard shot into a kettlebell. | ||
| Yeah, this is it. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| So he shot it into the handle of a gorilla kettlebell. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Bam! | ||
| How crazy is that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's crazy. | |
| Oh, it was lit, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| His lighted knots. | ||
| But you know how wild that is, that shot? | ||
| I mean, that's insane. | ||
| But you can't do that with a regular bow. | ||
| Like a recurve bow, that's not available. | ||
| You can only do that with a compound bow. | ||
| But they did have some recurve bows that would be like... | ||
| The Mongols had ones that would take 160 pounds to draw back. | ||
| So if you think about the bowies... | ||
| Today was what? | ||
| 80. 80. So that one was 80. Now imagine double that. | ||
| Forget it, dude. | ||
| And you have to hold it. | ||
| It's like... | ||
|
unidentified
|
And then aim it. | |
| I mean, they must have just been fucking jerked. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| They must have been... | ||
| 160 pound bows? | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| I want to learn... | ||
|
unidentified
|
I want to read more about that, like... | |
| What is the competitive advantage with all these different groups? | ||
| What was the Romans' competitive advantage? | ||
| Do you know? | ||
| If I had to guess, they had a high level of sophistication when it came to military strategy. | ||
| They had... | ||
| You know, I mean, they had so much money. | ||
| So it was just money. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's a big part of it. | |
| From trade. | ||
| I mean, how does it not have to... | ||
| I mean, if you're going to arm your people and you want to pay them and pay your soldiers, you want to give them fucking armor and weapons and shit, like, the more money you have, the more weapons, the more horses, the more everything. | ||
| And what is that money coming from? | ||
| Resources? | ||
| Stealing from people. | ||
| So they're just, like, going in, they're taking all the shit and then... | ||
| I would imagine there's a lot of things going on. | ||
| Wait, wait, that actually makes sense. | ||
| If your business is, you're essentially like a pirate, like if your business is just conquest and it's stealing, you need to continue to expand the empire to continue to feed it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And then the bigger the empire gets, the less that money affects the rest of the empire. | ||
| So you reach a certain level where you just can't sustain it. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That makes perfect sense. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You just go crazy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You go crazy like the son of a rich man who's doing coke in a mansion. | ||
| You just go fucking crazy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Bro, that's what they said? | |
| No, that's what they said that guy was. | ||
| What was his name? | ||
| Oh, fuck. | ||
| And they said it was the lead pipes. | ||
| He didn't drink from the water. | ||
| Marcus Aurelius' son was... | ||
| Oh, Commodus. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| No. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| Well, it's Marcus Aurelius' son. | ||
| The evil son, right? | ||
| Yeah, Zeno? | ||
| Zeno? | ||
| Zenit? | ||
| Doesn't matter. | ||
| But I guess they said that... | ||
| Joaquin Phoenix. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Commodus. | ||
| Oh, you were right. | ||
| I was right. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Maybe it wasn't a function of just like this guy came up in extreme wealth and opportunity and whatever. | ||
| Maybe it was a function of like they didn't understand the lead pipes made you fucking crazy. | ||
| And for the first time, he was every bit of water that he drank was from those lead pipes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, my. | |
| For the first time? | ||
| Think about it. | ||
| No way. | ||
| He was the first person? | ||
| That generation was the first generation? | ||
| Well, Aurelius was born into it? | ||
| Because when I was in Rome and I was looking at— Is this like a widely studied theory, the lead pipe theory? | ||
| This was a guy who told me when I was at the Coliseum. | ||
| Definitely an article in Science about it. | ||
| Did lead poisoning bring down ancient Rome? | ||
| Because they didn't know. | ||
| For them, the idea that there was water and there was accessible water that was actually good for you was for the rich only. | ||
| And what if that's all you had? | ||
| Of course you're going to go crazy because at the beginning of his reign, he wasn't that crazy. | ||
| And then my man just went wild. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| Yeah, it could have been the lead place. | ||
| Tap water from ancient Rome likely contained a hundred times more lead than local spring water. | ||
| And all the poor people don't have fucking plumbing, so they're getting water from a river. | ||
| Isn't that a little bit of karma? | ||
| Isn't that a little bit of karma? | ||
| Life works in mysterious ways. | ||
| Sometimes the universe... | ||
| Oh, it will correct, my boy. | ||
| Sometimes the universe just sends you a message. | ||
| Remember when Heather McDonald blacked out on stage when she was talking about the vaccine? | ||
| I mean, I don't mean to diss on her. | ||
| She's a nice lady. | ||
| But has there ever been a time where the universe is like, yo, hang on. | ||
| There's a compilation. | ||
| Have you seen in the gay dancing where they do the fall? | ||
| Yes, I have that. | ||
| Yes, yes, yes. | ||
| There's a compilation. | ||
| Of all the different people blacking out. | ||
| Of all the people falling as part of the gay enhancing and then Heather just dropping. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| But she was really going off about how proud she was about being boosted a few times. | ||
| Hilarious. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| But it's like the universe is like, hey, hey, hey, hey. | ||
| You're going too far. | ||
| You guys are going too far now. | ||
| This whole fucking world's going too far. | ||
|
unidentified
|
How about that? | |
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| That's why people believe in God. | ||
| Well, okay. | ||
| Stuff like that. | ||
| Maybe there is a fucking someone watching over this. | ||
| I hope so. | ||
| I hope so, too. | ||
| And what if religion is just the language that you can speak to him as he speaks to you? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because they all more or less say the same things. | ||
| Very similar. | ||
| And what if they're up there, they're going, I don't really mind what language you speak as long as you're doing these things because I think it will help you. | ||
| It's not even like a narcissism thing. | ||
| It's just like, hey, if you do these things, you're probably going to live a better life and enjoy this life, this gift that I've given you. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I wonder if that's it. | ||
| Because, yeah, what is it, the Pascal's Wager? | ||
| Have you heard of that? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I kind of subscribe to that. | ||
| I was raised with no religion, but it's like, I'd rather live life thinking there was a God. | ||
| Yeah, that's Jordan Peterson's position too. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think there's something to it. | ||
| There certainly could be. | ||
| Do you think there's someone out there? | ||
| I don't think we should think of it as a someone, because I have a feeling that's part of the problem. | ||
| Like, we pretended it got some dude in a skirt, a fucking robe in the sky. | ||
| You know, they wear weird clothes, and back before they had cell phones, like, what? | ||
| God, really? | ||
| What is that? | ||
| Like, why are we depicting him like that? | ||
| If you just are honest about how people tell stories, if you just really just don't... | ||
| Don't think about what you know to be true and what you believe and what your faith tells you. | ||
| Just like what you know about human beings and stories. | ||
| Every time human beings have told a story, like if you wanted to talk to someone from Oliver North's family about what happened with Rick Ross and cocaine sales in South Central Los Angeles and did they use the money to Fund the Conchas versus the Sandinistas in Nicaragua. | ||
| Like what? | ||
| His family doesn't believe that, right? | ||
| Because they have a very specific narrative. | ||
| And then 100 years from now, Ronald Reagan would be like the greatest, most noble American that's ever lived. | ||
| And to some people he is today. | ||
| So it's like these narratives shift and swing and change over time depending on who tells them, which is why censorship is so dangerous. | ||
| And it's why ideological narratives are so dangerous. | ||
| Because if you don't tell me the truth about history, I don't know what to not fuck up again. | ||
| But what is the truth about how we treat each other? | ||
| I feel like there is a truth there. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And I think there are—well, you can judge a religion by its fruit. | ||
| Like, there's a reason why Judaism was successful. | ||
| There's a reason why Christianity comes around and it's successful. | ||
| And there's a reason why Islam comes around and it's successful. | ||
| It has to have fruit. | ||
| It can't just be, I'm forcing you to do this. | ||
| The people have to enjoy what they're getting from it for it to be successful. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So they needed it in the time. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You know, like, I almost wonder if you look at religions as, like, girlfriends. | ||
| Like, every new one is a reaction to the last one. | ||
| Like, Judaism was, like, very strict and there's all these rules and you can't eat this and you can't do that. | ||
| And then, like, Christianity comes around and it's just like, hey, bro, I love you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know what I mean? | |
| Like, hey, you did something fucked up, I love you. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Just say you're sorry. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's it, that's it, that's it. | |
| Just say you're sorry. | ||
| And I love you, you come to heaven. | ||
| And then it got too crazy, maybe. | ||
| Not too crazy, but then maybe it was taking advantage of too much. | ||
| It was like, I don't even need much from you. | ||
| And then people were like... | ||
| All right, well, I'm not going to do much. | ||
| And then Islam comes around and it's like, oh, you weren't even praying once every week? | ||
| Like, now you're going to do it five times a day. | ||
| Five times a day. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Happy Ramadan, by the way. | ||
| I think today is the first day of Ramadan. | ||
| It's today? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| But, like, I don't know. | ||
| I just feel like it's a function of, like, what humans might need. | ||
| Like, I almost think about, like, Like, what is popular now in society and culture? | ||
| Like, these figures, like, Jordan is a perfect example. | ||
| Like, you're a perfect example. | ||
| Like, I think we, as Americans have kind of, like, left religion, we still need the structure. | ||
| And, like, even, like, telling somebody to get in an ice bath in the morning. | ||
| Like, that's a religious act. | ||
| Maybe it's not done for God, but there's a consistency there. | ||
| There's something that you do that makes you feel good. | ||
| Like, I feel like we've found a way to, like, a la carte the different structures that religion provided us now that we don't have religion. | ||
| Yeah, I'm glad you said that about the ice pack, because I think that sometimes it is a ritual for me. | ||
| And it's also like a silent thing. | ||
| I'm doing it completely by myself. | ||
| And the just commitment to it, I think there's something. | ||
| Also, it's like super uncomfortable. | ||
| And when it's super uncomfortable but you still do it every day, you win one little battle every day. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What about religion has to be comfortable for you? | |
| Religion doesn't have to be comfortable. | ||
| That's why there's something good in that one. | ||
| There's like a physical barrier that you have to get through for three minutes every day. | ||
| And if you can get through that barrier, you will have a better day. | ||
| It seems so stupid. | ||
| I mean, I'll be honest with you, bro. | ||
| I ain't doing that shit. | ||
| I tried it. | ||
| I can't. | ||
| I don't like the cold, bro. | ||
| You think I like it? | ||
| I think you like defeating it. | ||
| You don't defeat it. | ||
| You never win. | ||
| I think you like challenge and I think you like conquering challenge. | ||
| You don't conquer this. | ||
| You just tolerate it. | ||
| That's the best part. | ||
| You can never win. | ||
| Is that the win though? | ||
| You can never win. | ||
| It's gonna be 34 degrees to the end of time. | ||
| How long can you hang out in there? | ||
| You don't win. | ||
| You never win with the cold plunge. | ||
| You can't defeat it. | ||
| That's the ego check. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You can't be like, I am the fucking freeze man. | |
| Even Wim Hof has to get out of the ice bath. | ||
| You have to get out. | ||
| You'll die. | ||
| So maybe that's the humility. | ||
| Maybe that's related to something like the jujitsu of it. | ||
| You're going to get tapped by somebody. | ||
| Right. | ||
| There's something to that for sure. | ||
| And maybe we need that. | ||
| Maybe we need to be humbled. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I think so. | |
| It's healthy for us to be humble. | ||
| I think you need something that takes away your ability to control it. | ||
| And the cold plunge is uniquely good because it's voluntary. | ||
| Like no one's forcing you to do it. | ||
| You climb in there. | ||
| You have a little victory by getting yourself in there. | ||
| And then you watch a timer and count it down. | ||
| And when three minutes are up, you get out and you won. | ||
| You won. | ||
| You did it. | ||
| It sucked. | ||
| You didn't want to do it, but you did it. | ||
| So now the whole day is like you know how to suck it up. | ||
| You know how to deal with bullshit. | ||
| You know how to overcome something that's not fun. | ||
| And you did it on purpose. | ||
| And it'll aid you. | ||
| It'll aid you in other things, other things that are frustrating or, you know... | ||
| But you're on it. | ||
| It's like, at a time where we can look at our phone and be distracted and feel good whenever we want, at a time where we can get a nice, cozy feeling of distraction whenever we want, we're forcing ourselves to do things that are inconvenient. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That make us suffer. | ||
| I think it's very important. | ||
| And through that suffering, we find... | ||
| I think it's very important. | ||
| Some happiness. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think it helps. | ||
| I think your body is designed to overcome a certain amount of anxiety and stress and adversity and challenges and fear. | ||
| And if you don't burn that out, I think that's why so many people are on medications. | ||
| I think they think they need medication to get through life, and I think you need life to get through medication. | ||
| That's what I think. | ||
| You're more resilient than you realize. | ||
| Yeah, way more. | ||
| Everybody is. | ||
| That's what sports does. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Yeah, you need to test your resilience. | ||
| Think about this thing that we talked about with Randall Carlson and Graham Hancock's theory about the comet impacts from 12,000 years ago. | ||
| Modern civilization, as people talk about it today, started the way we talk about it today in conventional academic circles. | ||
| They say it started 6,000 years ago. | ||
| That means that if Graham is right and if Randall is right and their theory is right, that means that people... | ||
| Lived in utter barbarism for 6,000 years before they started to reinvent agriculture and mathematics. | ||
| For 6,000 years, they probably slayed each other with sticks and rocks. | ||
| Seems hard to believe, no? | ||
| Not really. | ||
| Not at all. | ||
| Oh, you think it is? | ||
| I think that is what happened. | ||
| I think in certain places I think that happened. | ||
| I think in other places there was remnants of the ancient technology. | ||
| And I think they lived in different ways. | ||
| Perhaps. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Perhaps, but not a lot of evidence. | ||
| The evidence shows that Mesopotamia, particularly Sumer, that seems to be the oldest shit that we can find. | ||
| Until these Randall Carlson, Graham Hancock type theories came along, nobody entertained the thought of the pyramids being older or the Sphinx being older. | ||
| It wasn't until, like, the 1990s that people started talking about that. | ||
| They've always just, like, assumed the timeline was accurate. | ||
| And that timeline was, like, 6,000 years ago. | ||
| Ancient Sumer, it's the first mathematics, the first written language. | ||
| It's, like, a version of some of the stories from the biblical flood. | ||
| You know, the Epic of Gilgamesh, which comes from the ancient Sumerian culture, very similar to Noah's Ark. | ||
| A little bit. | ||
| Very similar. | ||
| But you find these similar stories everywhere. | ||
| Because it happened! | ||
| And it happened in different places. | ||
| Because it was a common thing. | ||
| Flood was common. | ||
| Cataclysm was maybe common. | ||
| Not just that, but instantaneous flooding and cataclysm that comes from meteors slamming into the fucking ice caps. | ||
| Or think about how they would react to a hurricane. | ||
| I mean, think about how simple we view a hurricane and what that does. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Or a tornado. | |
| Or a tornado. | ||
| The damage that does to a city. | ||
| Now, that's a city that has buildings made of concrete and stone. | ||
| Imagine tents, right? | ||
| Imagine people living more or less outside. | ||
| The devastation that that would cause. | ||
| It's a different life. | ||
| What's the part of the world that has the most hurricanes? | ||
| The Caribbean? | ||
| Is it Caribbean? | ||
| I would assume. | ||
| I would assume the Caribbean. | ||
| Makes sense, right? | ||
| Like warmer water, right? | ||
| Like the Atlantic is a warmer water. | ||
| Come up from Africa, cross over, and then they hit the Caribbean. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Like, I wonder if you could, like, tie cultural attributes to cataclysm. | ||
| Like, you go to the Caribbean and there's, like, this incredible, like, love and kindness and support, like, Latin culture that you feel. | ||
| And it's just like, yeah, maybe we should focus on that shit. | ||
| Maybe we should help each other out. | ||
| Maybe we don't need to build a skyscraper. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right, right. | |
| Maybe we need to dance today. | ||
| Right, because the fucking sky gods might come down and wipe out your whole village. | ||
| Japan is actually number one on that. | ||
| Countries most exposed to tropical cyclones worldwide in 2022. Like it makes sense that like... | ||
| Wow, Japan's number one. | ||
| Well, they have... | ||
| Oh, yeah, yeah, the cyclones and shit. | ||
| Then the Bahamas and then South Korea. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Antigua and Barbuda. | ||
| That's in the... | ||
| Is Barbuda Barbados? | ||
| No. | ||
| Different place. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't think so, yeah. | |
| China, Cuba. | ||
| Of course, Cuba, right? | ||
| Dominican Republic, Cuba. | ||
| Vietnam, Mexico, Dominica. | ||
| And Mexico, of course, I imagine on that side. | ||
| Florida, not even on the list. | ||
| We don't even touch them. | ||
| But yeah, that's the beauty. | ||
| Now, what about tornadoes? | ||
| Is that like exclusively an American... | ||
| Problem? | ||
| Well, I would want to know how the natives spoke about tornadoes. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Because they're the ones who probably had to deal with them for a thousand years. | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| Imagine trying to get away from a tornado on a horse. | ||
| On a horseback. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, USA owns that category. | |
| Oh, my God. | ||
| What's that? | ||
| USA owns that category. | ||
| Oh, we own it? | ||
| Yeah, most biggest, most destructive. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's right, bitches. | |
| Number one. | ||
| Fucking number one tornadoes, bitch. | ||
| What is that, Tosh Oak? | ||
| That's why they're so fat in Oklahoma, so they'll stay on the ground. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ha! | |
| Bro, Tosh is a goat, man. | ||
| Love Tosh. | ||
| Anyway, I don't know. | ||
| I think you can look at culture and the way that it has evolved through the circumstances they had to deal with. | ||
| You look at Canadians, right? | ||
| And a lot of people are like, oh, Canadians are so nice. | ||
| And it's like... | ||
| Think about how difficult life was in Canada. | ||
| Before big cities, I'm talking about go to Calgary. | ||
| I'm talking about go to Edmonton. | ||
| Like, yeah, your neighbor's gonna be nice to you when your life is dependent on it. | ||
| Yeah, it's negative 90 outside. | ||
| Negative fucking 90 degrees. | ||
| We all have a cattle farm or horses and the hay isn't there and we need to feed them. | ||
| I need to be able to go to you and be like, hey, do you have some hay? | ||
| Because all my cattle are gonna fucking die. | ||
| That's gonna create some kindness. | ||
| You live in New York where, like, the elements aren't going to affect it that much, and, like, you can kind of check out for most things, and as long as the water's pretty good and the food... | ||
| Yeah, we can be rude to one another because we can afford to be. | ||
| We don't rely on each other as much. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| Yeah, so it's like, culture is, like, dependent on, like, how much you need to rely on one another and, like, what the elements provide you. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's a good way of looking at it. | ||
| It's like how disciplined and how good the engineering of the Germans were. | ||
| But you had to be on top of your fucking game if you're living in that freezing mountain weather, right? | ||
| Yeah, why were they good? | ||
| It's a good question. | ||
| They were so good. | ||
| They were so good at engineering. | ||
| Was there a focus on intelligence? | ||
| Was there a focus on studying? | ||
| Was there a focus on education? | ||
| I wish I knew the answer to that. | ||
| But there had to be something, because think Audi, Mercedes, BMW, Volkswagen, Porsche. | ||
| They were teaching that stuff there before the United States was a country. | ||
| Oh, the Industrial Revolution played a critical role in catapulting Germany into engineering stardom. | ||
| The Dresden Academy of Engineers was founded in 1743, where subjects such as mathematics, fortress construction... | ||
| Hilarious. | ||
| But you also look at like... | ||
| Mechanics and the study of machinery. | ||
| Where's all of like the great classical... | ||
| What is it called? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Music. | |
| All the great classical... | ||
| Juilliard? | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| The classical composers. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| I think most of them are from Germany as well. | ||
| Like Germany must have experienced like a level of opulence for an extended period of time where like they could just go, I'm going to be an orchestra conductor. | ||
| Like that's... | ||
| Shit got to be good for a while. | ||
| A long time. | ||
| Where your job is blowing into a fucking horn. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Damn! | |
| Right? | ||
| Like think about like in human history, how long has it been where you could blow into a horn for a living? | ||
| So maybe they just had that for hundreds of years and because of that they could develop all this crazy shit while everybody's basically trying to stay alive, trying to get to another season, like hoping it rains. | ||
| Could be. | ||
| Well there certainly has to be some sort of an effect Dual education system back a long, long time ago where they would split up theoretical and practical knowledge. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| The study program combines the technical knowledge with the commercial expertise and is building networks between the subjects, which can be essential for the later job world. | ||
| Because this is what Germany had. | ||
| France had the thinkers, but they're like, we're not going to do shit. | ||
| Philosophers. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Smoke cigarettes. | |
| Get my dick sucked. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| I'm going to get my dick sucked. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Guy, girl, don't matter. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah! | |
| What are you saying? | ||
| Freedom fries. | ||
| But Germany was like, now we need some science too. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So France is just... | ||
|
unidentified
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It's cold out here! | |
| We need better engines! | ||
| And France was just like, how many different espressos can we make? | ||
| Imagine if those motherfuckers came up with a bomb first. | ||
| The French? | ||
| No, the Germans. | ||
| They were probably pretty close. | ||
| Where did Einstein come from? | ||
|
unidentified
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Germany! | |
| Well, Oppenheimer, too, right? | ||
| Where's he from? | ||
| Operation Paperclip. | ||
| Oppenheimer's not from Operation Paperclip. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Operation Paperclip. | ||
| Wasn't that mostly NASA scientists, though? | ||
| But weren't they all from... | ||
| Well, it was all rocketry. | ||
| You know, rockets were used to deliver bombs, too. | ||
| Like, the rocketry program in Berlin was insane. | ||
| Wernher von Braun was an absolute legitimate Nazi who was in charge of a rocket factory in Berlin where they would hang the slowest Jews in front of the rocket factory. | ||
| So when people would walk through, they would realize, like, this is the penalty if you work slow. | ||
| That's Wernher von Braun. | ||
| That's the guy, we fucking brought him over from the Nazis to run our NASA program to get us to the moon. | ||
| Is that like the version, is that like Michael Jackson? | ||
| What do you mean? | ||
| Where like the work is so good you just like forget about the fuck shit? | ||
| Right. | ||
|
unidentified
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They get like, I want to say Osama Makusa. | |
| I want to say Osama Makusa. | ||
| 1943, the United States launched the Allos Mission, a foreign intelligence product focused on learning the extent of Germany's nuclear program biopsy. | ||
| By 1944, however, the evidence was clear the Germans had not come close to developing a bomb and had only advanced to preliminary research. | ||
|
unidentified
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Wow. | |
| How far away do you think it came from us going from preliminary research to the Manhattan Project? | ||
| Like, how long was that? | ||
| Thank God they didn't do it, though. | ||
| What is that shit right there, bro? | ||
| Oh, isn't that dope? | ||
|
unidentified
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Those Japanese artists made it for me. | |
| Isn't that sick? | ||
| Bro, the Japanese are awesome shit, bro. | ||
|
unidentified
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Definitely. | |
| We need to look into the Japanese. | ||
| You know, that's the only people that the Mongols didn't take over? | ||
| And why? | ||
| Because the Samurais fucked them up. | ||
| The Mongols showed up and they tried to take over Japan on several occasions. | ||
| More than one occasion. | ||
| And every time they were met with these fucking dudes who actually knew how to fight and were sword trained and were shooting arrows at distances. | ||
| And they're like, whoa, what the fuck is going on here? | ||
| They were like the... | ||
| If you think about samurais... | ||
| What the fuck was a samurai? | ||
| Japan was the origins of karate, judo, jujitsu. | ||
| All that shit came out of Japan. | ||
| But we're talking about feudal Japan? | ||
| We're talking about kingdoms and such? | ||
|
unidentified
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Those cyclones saved them. | |
| Japanese have always attributed their victory to storms and that wrecked the Mongols' fleets during both attempted invasions in 1274 and 1281. They concluded that Japan was protected from invasion by a divine wind, or kamikaze, which was invoked in World War II to inspire pilots to launch suicide attacks on Allied ships. | ||
| So it could be storms. | ||
| But also, they fought. | ||
| They definitely had... | ||
| Hand-to-hand combat. | ||
| And a samurai was like... | ||
| What is the equivalent of that today? | ||
| Is that like a... | ||
| Is that a military dude? | ||
| Or is that like a street dude? | ||
| I mean, eventually they became ronins. | ||
| There was like a period of time during Musashi's era where they were mostly like samurais without a master. | ||
| And they would have like one-on-one duels. | ||
| That's like... | ||
| The Book of Five Rings is based on Miyamoto Musashi's writings about... | ||
| I don't know the book. | ||
| It's The greatest book of strategy. | ||
| It was a guy who killed 62 men, at least 60. 60 men in one-on-one armed sword fights. | ||
| Because you could come up to someone and just be like, it's on. | ||
| They would make duels. | ||
| They would decide to have duels. | ||
| And that's to the death. | ||
| To the death, with swords. | ||
| And Musashi killed everybody. | ||
| He was that dude. | ||
| And he became the boogeyman. | ||
| Yeah, he became the boogeyman. | ||
| But his philosophy was... | ||
| That to be a great swordsman, you had to be good at calligraphy, you had to be good at poetry, you had to be able to make art. | ||
| Bro, imagine the dude that killed your dad was a poet. | ||
|
unidentified
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Imagine your dad died and then the next day he's like, flowers are green, flowers are blue. | |
| I don't think. | ||
| We're talking about haikus. | ||
| I think we're talking about different kinds of poetry. | ||
| But he's trying to be well-rounded, I guess. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Any holes in your game, any fake shit, will expose itself in one-on-one combat. | ||
| I wonder if John Jones would be the modern-day version of the elite samurai. | ||
| Well, I mean- Are we looking at these guys, these UFC dudes, are we like, oh, this is the modern day version of it. | ||
| We just have a structure for them to operate in. | ||
| It's sort of like that, but it's actually probably more satisfying to the fighter because you're a modern day version in a thing where you're not going to get killed. | ||
|
unidentified
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Right. | |
| Right. | ||
| Well, you could get killed, right? | ||
| There is that reality. | ||
|
unidentified
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Absolutely. | |
| Most likely you won't. | ||
| They have very good medical staff, but there's also that you are competing With your willpower, your technique, your knowledge, your fucking physical gifts, and you're doing it in front of the world. | ||
| And the rewards, like, if you want to be Jon Jones, like, good luck. | ||
| It's a lot of work. | ||
| But if you get to be Jon Jones, like, wow. | ||
| Imagine that feeling. | ||
| Imagine that feeling of strangling Cyril gone, like, a fucking minute into the fight. | ||
| And everybody being like, wow, he's the GOAT. That's it. | ||
| The baddest man on the planet. | ||
| He's the GOAT. Yeah, no one thinks Tyson Fury could beat Jon Jones in a fight. | ||
| Isn't that fucking interesting? | ||
| No one thinks that. | ||
| Tyson doesn't think that. | ||
| You want to talk about who's the baddest man on the planet? | ||
| If Jon Jones and Tyson Fury are locked into a room, I'm pushing all my chips on black. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm going to tell you something. | |
| Tyson Fury is an amazing boxer. | ||
| He doesn't have a fucking chance in hell of making it out of that room. | ||
|
unidentified
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Isn't that crazy? | |
| He has no chance of making it out of that room. | ||
| Isn't that crazy? | ||
| Zero chance. | ||
| He would have to catch John immediately with one punch. | ||
| I just don't see that happening, man. | ||
| The threat of the takedown looms so large, that shot will come so unexpectedly. | ||
| When he gets his hands around you, you'll be so stunned. | ||
| So what is that like being John? | ||
| Like, what is that like thinking there isn't another man on the planet that could do anything to you in hand-to-hand combat? | ||
| Pretty awesome. | ||
| Fuck. | ||
| Yeah, I'm sure he feels great. | ||
| Fuck. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Pretty nice. | ||
| It's also a fleeting thing, right? | ||
| Because when you get to be 40 and 42 and 43, it goes away. | ||
| And that's the beauty of it all. | ||
| What about his brothers? | ||
| Do you think he thinks he could fuck up his brothers? | ||
| Dude, what great sperm. | ||
| Good question. | ||
| I mean, just talent. | ||
| Just unbelievable talent. | ||
| And then will, too. | ||
| It's not only the genetics. | ||
| It's like all of them have committed themselves to something and raised to the top of it. | ||
| I think it's also them competing against each other. | ||
| I think that's a factor that makes them so good because there's three elite alpha males in the house together. | ||
| But don't you think it's like they had to be raised in a culture where competition was valued? | ||
| 100%. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But also just having three elite athletes grow up together. | ||
| Like, they're competing with each other every day in the fucking house. | ||
| So you're, like, you're always on edge. | ||
| There was that story about, oh, God, who was that? | ||
| There was a baseball player where, like, his cousin was an elite pitcher. | ||
| And I forget this baseball player's name in, like... | ||
| Fuck, I'm forgetting. | ||
| He played for the Yankees. | ||
| He played for a bunch of teams. | ||
| But his cousin, who I kind of grew up with, was an elite pitcher. | ||
| And it's like, of course he has the fastest risks in the business. | ||
| Because since he's been fucking nine years old, he's had an elite pitcher pitching at him in their backyard. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa. | |
| And he's been turning that fucking bat over nonstop, trying to figure it out. | ||
| That's what you need. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| That's what you need. | ||
| That's what you need. | ||
| Yeah, there's no substitute for uncomfortable things. | ||
| And sucking at something is uncomfortable. | ||
| And the only way you get better at something is, like, realize that as good as you think you are at it, there's other levels. | ||
| And that, like, if you think you can fucking hit that fastball, because, like, you just know, you're just different, like, no you don't, you don't know shit, until you actually do it. | ||
| Then you strike out and you feel like a loser, right? | ||
| Yeah, that's the point. | ||
| Like, the point, like, of all these things, it's like you're chasing Some sort of adulation, excitement of excellence, but also you're killing your ego. | ||
| Because your ego is the only thing that's going to fuck you up. | ||
| Your ego is going to lie to you. | ||
| Lie to you about how good you are about something. | ||
| Think about you instead of thinking about the task. | ||
| You're going to allocate resources to deal with this childless bullshit. | ||
| While you really should have been thinking about the thing you're doing in the zone, what keeps you from doing that? | ||
| Fear. | ||
| Fear of people ridiculing you. | ||
| Fear of failure. | ||
| It's all ego. | ||
|
unidentified
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All of it. | |
| Yeah, it's almost like you need enough ego to try. | ||
| Yeah, that's it. | ||
| And then not too much. | ||
| And then you just need strength after that. | ||
| You need to substitute the ego for willpower. | ||
| Just resilience. | ||
| Sheer resilience. | ||
| But then again, ego sometimes causes people to do amazing shit. | ||
| You need some people with some fucking ego. | ||
| How's Kanye West get where he is without ego? | ||
| Facts. | ||
| Steve Jobs. | ||
| How does he get there? | ||
| How does any of them? | ||
| How does he get there? | ||
| Show me a person that has changed the world without ego. | ||
| What's that dude from Microsoft? | ||
| Steve Ballmer? | ||
| Is that his name? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah. | |
| Dude, he bounces around. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| The guy who owns the Clippers? | ||
| I love this company! | ||
| Like, dancing and swinging. | ||
| Low-key, I kind of want him, because he was the guy who was making the sales. | ||
| I believe that he was really pushing it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I want him to sell me on something. | ||
| Bro, play that video. | ||
| Let's end with this because I got to pee and I'm hungry. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Play this He's yelling at me to get up Bro, this is a software company. | |
| They sell a fucking computer operating system, okay? | ||
| Like, look at this guy. | ||
| Bro, think about all the nerds out there in the world that needed this goddamn maniac at the helm of the company. | ||
| If he wasn't born in America, bro, he'd be a mentally retarded farmer in China. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Love this company! | |
| He loves this company! | ||
| I love this company! | ||
| He's so out of breath. | ||
| His cardio is straight dog shit. | ||
| Let's go. | ||
| Love you, brother. | ||
| I love you, too. | ||
| You're the man. | ||
| Thank you very much for coming down here. | ||
| Always. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Anytime. | |
| I was so happy when you're coming. | ||
| It means a lot to me for you to come here. | ||
| I'll be back again and again and again. | ||
| Because we're trying to do something cool here. | ||
| This is a special place. | ||
| Have cool people come down. | ||
| I think everybody should come down and check it out. | ||
| I mean that. | ||
| Not only to say that to comedians, but the people. | ||
| It's a very special place. | ||
| And check out both rooms. | ||
| If you're coming for the weekend, I would really say... | ||
| Definitely catch a little show. | ||
| Catch a little show and a big show and just feel it. | ||
| Even if you're watching the same comic in the different rooms, feel that difference. | ||
| What are they doing? | ||
| How does the material change? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Indeed. | |
| Yeah, check that out. | ||
|
unidentified
|
All right. |
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