All Episodes
Dec. 27, 2022 - The Joe Rogan Experience
04:20:46
Joe Rogan Experience #1915 - Brian Simpson
Participants
Main voices
b
brian simpson
01:29:10
j
jamie vernon
07:41
j
joe rogan
02:34:25
| Copy link to current segment

Speaker Time Text
unidentified
Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out!
The Joe Rogan Experience.
Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day!
brian simpson
Oh, cheers!
Thank you, man.
joe rogan
My pleasure.
brian simpson
Okay, first of all, Joe, did you see the guy yesterday, his debut MMA match?
He won, by the way.
He has no lower body.
joe rogan
Yes, Zion.
brian simpson
Zion.
joe rogan
Yeah, dude.
Incredible.
brian simpson
It was unbelievable.
joe rogan
How fast he closes the distance with no legs.
brian simpson
And so what my question is, are you...
joe rogan
Zion Clark.
Amazing.
brian simpson
Is he considered a downed opponent?
joe rogan
That's a good question.
brian simpson
Because that...
Changes the game.
That makes him OP. Because you can't kick him.
joe rogan
You can kick him in the body.
You can kick a downed opponent in the body.
I mean, you think a leg kick is bad?
Imagine an arm kick.
brian simpson
And then imagine, like, you can't grab his legs, you can't...
joe rogan
Yeah.
And also, his upper body's insanely strong for someone of that weight class.
So you have to think, like...
First of all, nothing but props for the guy.
No excuses.
The guy's amazing.
And just the fucking amount of courage that it takes to even train and become an elite wrestler and then become an MMA fighter all with no legs.
Incredible.
Yeah, that's insane.
No one's saying there's an advantage.
But one thing that he's able to do...
I mean, you don't have legs to control.
So, like, your game is different.
In the stand-up game, you know, punches, like, if you're punching a guy that's down like that and literally is at the hips, like, you have to, like, bend your knees down and try to punch him, like, to train for that guy.
How do you train for that?
brian simpson
All your power comes from your legs.
So if you can't push off when you punch, you can't really load up and, you know?
joe rogan
And if you light kick that guy in his arm and break his arm, that's fucked up.
Because now he can't even get around.
brian simpson
He's probably so...
Because here's the thing.
You know that old quote about, like, don't argue with a...
Don't argue with a fool because they'll drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.
joe rogan
Right.
brian simpson
It's like that.
It's like, he has way more experience down there than you do, and you've got to get down there.
joe rogan
Look how fast he can move just on his arms.
That's insane.
brian simpson
Boy, that's terrifying.
jamie vernon
33-inch vertical jump.
joe rogan
That's incredible.
jamie vernon
Whatever that means.
joe rogan
Have you ever seen that woman who was born with no legs and she does everything with her feet?
She puts her lipstick on with her feet.
She eats with her feet.
She writes her name with her feet.
Yeah, it's crazy.
She has dexterity with her feet like people have with their hands.
Which makes you think, like, I wonder if that's like a skill that we all could acquire.
We just don't because we don't use our legs for that.
Because, like, there's certain things that people could do with their hands, right?
Like, have you ever seen a guy who's really good at boxing?
They can...
Have you done any boxing?
brian simpson
A little bit, yeah.
joe rogan
One of the things that's really awkward to learn is a left hook.
It feels very weird.
brian simpson
It does, yeah.
joe rogan
And you're standing like this and you've got to do that.
It feels very weird to learn how to do that properly.
It's a very odd movement.
And people are all like...
But eventually it gets to the point where it's natural.
Like in a fight it just comes out.
Like you train it.
So there's all these hidden abilities that our bodies have.
We just don't ever use them in that way.
brian simpson
I think, you know, necessity is necessary.
Like, the fact that you have no choice, that is the number one motivator.
It's like, if I don't learn how to do this shit with my feet, I'm never going to do shit.
joe rogan
Right.
brian simpson
Yeah.
I admire that kind of shit.
joe rogan
And your nervous system, the way you learn things is by repetitive, you know, motion.
Like, you do it overnight.
That's why, like, when you tie your shoes, you don't even think about it.
unidentified
You just...
joe rogan
Eddie Bravo used to always use that as an example about jujitsu, that you've got to train it to the point where it's automatic, like tying your shoes.
Because when you tie your shoes, you're not thinking, okay, I make this loop, and I wrap it around that loop, and I go under, and I do that.
You don't think that.
You just...
And he's like, jiu-jitsu has to become like that, too.
brian simpson
I knew some kind of rhyme when I was a kid at first.
You know how they teach you?
Or some shit, like, you know, this is a bunny rabbit and over the bridge.
But now I don't think about it at all.
joe rogan
Yeah, you don't think about it at all.
Well, that eventually happens, I think, with everything that you do.
You just got to do it so much, because you tie your shoes every day.
Get up, tie your shoes.
You know, take your shoes off, put them back on, tie them on.
brian simpson
That's why I... Because on my podcast, BS with Brian Simpson, check it out.
joe rogan
It's a very good podcast.
brian simpson
YouTube, all platforms, BS with Brian Simpson.
On mine, all the time I get emails about people go, how do I do stand-up comedy?
You get those questions all the time.
And I remember when I first started, I would get so frustrated because the veterans would always be like, well, just keep doing it.
And it felt like a bullshit answer.
But it is the answer.
joe rogan
It's the right answer.
brian simpson
It's the right answer.
You just gotta do it.
joe rogan
But you also have to pay attention to what you're doing.
I think if we all go back and watch our old tapes...
brian simpson
Oh, I can't do it.
joe rogan
Yeah, it's horrible.
You would go like, oh my god, I would never do that that way now.
brian simpson
Especially the...
So I remember when I first started to get good.
How many years was that in?
Probably like two, two and a half years.
joe rogan
So we felt like comfortable on stage.
brian simpson
Right, when I felt comfortable, when my reputation in the scene was like he's one of the best, right?
And I remember this guy did a show at the club.
He booked the club for the whole night.
I was working the door at this club.
And he decided to come out.
He booked three other comics, too.
He decided to come out after each comic in a different costume, as a different character, and do stand-up as a different person.
And he'd never done stand-up.
Like, he was not a stand-up.
I might have seen him at, like, one open mic or something, and then he decided to put on this whole big show.
He was, like, a model or something.
joe rogan
So he just had, like, a grand idea.
brian simpson
And I watched this motherfucker bomb.
In front of his friends.
The club was all people he brought.
I watched him bomb three times on the same show, and it was painful.
I think I went up after the first character, and I had the best set of my life.
He recorded the whole thing.
He had triple cameras set up and everything.
And I remember hitting him up the next day like, hey man, you think I could get that tape?
And he was like, I can't watch it right now, but I'll get it to you as soon as...
Because I felt him.
His heart was ripped out of his chest.
By the time he went up the third time, he was already broken.
joe rogan
This was his first time on stage?
brian simpson
It was not his first time on stage, but it was like he'd done maybe two open mics and then put on his show for all his friends and family.
And...
And I'd forgotten about it.
I ain't here from the guy for like six months.
And one day I come into work and somebody's like, hey man, somebody dropped this off for you.
And it was a DVD with that set on it.
That I was like, that was the best set I ever had.
I can't wait to watch this.
And I get home and I pop it in the computer.
And it was so bad.
And that's when I realized, like, oh no, like, the lessons you would have learned from that, you've already learned now in these six months.
Like, you needed to watch that the next day or within a week or something to get there, right?
joe rogan
You figured it out.
It's funny in the beginning because you're working with open micers, too.
So, like, I remember when I got my first gig, when I got a paid gig.
I realized, oh, there's a giant difference between an audience that's there to see a comedy show versus an audience that goes to an open mic night.
They're there to see pros.
And I wasn't really a pro.
I was just doing open mic nights.
I sucked.
And when you're working with people that are terrible, I mean, they're so bad they'll never be good.
Whatever the fuck it is that makes a person funny, they are void of that.
We know those guys, right?
Those girls, those non-binary folks.
When you learn, like, how to do it, like, comedy is one of those things.
It's just...
Everyone's got to figure out their own little weird path, you know?
And we're all doing that for the first time and you're trying to imitate people and you're...
So everybody sucks.
So if you go up and get a few laughs, you think you're the shit.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
And then you do a working show where you work with like real pros and you realize how terrible you are.
brian simpson
Yeah.
Well, that's why places like the store were important because it was like...
Yeah, you're the shit in fucking Des Moines.
joe rogan
Yes.
brian simpson
And then you go to LA and you go to the store and every night you see people that are light years beyond you.
And you need that.
You need to see that.
Yeah, because so many people, they're comfortable being king of the hill because they're scared to climb the mountain.
joe rogan
One of the things that Mitzi used to do at the store is if she thought you were any good, she'd put you on after the best people.
brian simpson
Oh, God.
joe rogan
You just died.
You died.
I had to go on after Richard Pryor five weeks in a row.
Every time Richard Pryor did a set, I went on after him.
brian simpson
But you know what though?
The best people, that doesn't scare them.
joe rogan
Scared the shit out of me.
brian simpson
Did it?
joe rogan
Oh, yeah.
brian simpson
But it wasn't part of you that was looking forward to the challenge?
joe rogan
Uh, no.
I was terrified.
You know who terrified me the most?
Martin Lawrence.
brian simpson
Oh.
joe rogan
Dude, I've talked about this before, and I'm sorry if you've heard the story, but Martin Lawrence during the You So Crazy days in the 90s, I was just getting to LA, so I was like 94, just getting to LA. Little cute, fresh-faced Joe Rogan, and I was terrible.
You know, just clunky.
I'd get a few laughs.
I had a couple of good bits, but then I'd fuck something up.
So I had some potential, and I was working at it.
And I just went on after murders.
And when Martin Lawrence would kill, but people forgot how goddamn good Martin Lawrence was back then.
brian simpson
I hear that from everyone, man.
joe rogan
People forgot.
If you go back and watch some of his specials and hear the laughs, it's always hard to watch a special from the 90s.
Because for some reason, comedy doesn't hold up that good.
It holds up for Pryor.
It holds up for Kinison.
It holds up for the greats of the greats.
But if you watch some of the really good specials from the 1990s, there's something about them.
The style's dated.
Something's different.
brian simpson
I think it's just that some comedy is about...
The big picture, like just humanity, and some comedy is about the times.
unidentified
Right.
brian simpson
And the comedy is specifically about the times.
Unless things are the same, it doesn't hold up because the culture is so different, you know?
joe rogan
Yeah, for sure.
I mean, culture shifts so radically.
brian simpson
You know who I always fucking dreaded following?
joe rogan
Who?
brian simpson
Fucking Joey Diaz.
joe rogan
Oh, he was the monster.
brian simpson
Joey Diaz.
joe rogan
That's why I started taking him on the road with me.
brian simpson
Oh, yeah.
joe rogan
Because I have a bomb going on after him.
I was like, oh, good.
I'm going to take him on the road to me.
It'll force me to get better.
brian simpson
Rick Ingram.
A lot of people won't admit this, but everyone hated following Rick Ingram.
joe rogan
Oh, because Rick Ingram would work the crowd.
brian simpson
He worked the crowd, but just so masterfully.
Masterfully.
The crowd would be mad that he was gone and that you were there instead.
joe rogan
Also, they wanted to talk.
brian simpson
Yeah.
joe rogan
When Rick's up, he'll talk to you.
He wants you to talk back.
He wants to fuck around with you and have a conversation with you.
brian simpson
But I was like, yo, I want to go after him every time.
If we're on the same one...
joe rogan
That's great.
brian simpson
Yeah, because I would bomb after him all the time.
And I was like, until I figure out how to not bomb after him, I'm missing something.
joe rogan
You gotta cut all the fat out.
That's what I realized.
You gotta cut to the point.
Don't be self-indulgent.
Pay attention to yourself like you're a hater.
Cut that shit out.
Make it quicker.
Get to the funny.
Cut all the stuff that's like C material.
Cut it out.
brian simpson
I look at my act like I'm getting ready for a bodybuilding thing.
I just blowed it full of every fucking possible idea I could possibly have.
joe rogan
The bulking phase.
That's a good way to think about it.
The bulking phase.
Because it is like the bulking phase.
I'm in the bulking phase right now because I'm writing all this new shit.
brian simpson
That's my favorite part about the whole shit.
It's like watching a kid grow up.
joe rogan
It's exciting.
brian simpson
Wait until I figure it out.
By the way, I think I figured out that one bit.
joe rogan
Oh, beautiful.
We'll see.
Good.
See you tonight.
Yeah.
Those days, though, of like bombing after—I bombed after Dice a bunch of times.
I bombed after Damon Wayans.
I bombed after everybody.
brian simpson
There's so many people that are so funny.
joe rogan
Oh my god, but back in the 90s, man, I couldn't believe I was on stage with them.
I remember sitting in the back, there's another one that people forgot about, Damon Wayans.
Damon Wayans, he had this special called The Last Stand.
Go watch that special.
It's fucking sensational.
And again, you gotta watch it like it's whenever that special was made.
I don't know what year that was.
But dude, he was a monster.
He just decided to do television.
He just decided he made a lot of money doing those fucking TV shows.
brian simpson
I think he's coming back, though.
joe rogan
God, I hope so.
I know he still does stand-up.
And do you know that he records every fucking show that he's ever done on video?
He brings a tripod and a video camera.
He sits in the back of the room, he puts them all on his computer, and he watches them.
brian simpson
Yeah, I opened up for him in the belly room one time when he...
He decided to do a show.
He walks in with a camcorder like it's 95. And he's been doing that forever.
joe rogan
He's a pro.
He's a pro.
You know like those jazz saxophonists practice every day and they get their shit tight and they analyze it and go over it.
That's what he does with comedy.
brian simpson
I used to be that meticulous.
But it got to the point where it was It started to be easier for me and I got lazy.
joe rogan
You know what?
There's a thing that I think we should all implement.
You know how we do this Sober October thing?
Where this year we had to work out every day and burn 500 calories.
We should do that with writing.
Like, we all commit to writing.
Just make it reasonable.
Like, two hours every day.
brian simpson
Writing for two hours?
joe rogan
Writing for two hours every day.
That's reasonable.
brian simpson
Yeah, that is reasonable, yeah.
joe rogan
You know why?
Because once you start, you just keep going.
Like, the hard part about writing is sitting down in front of your computer.
That's what Steven Pressfield calls resistance, the resistance of doing it.
It's like your ego's fighting you and, you know, whatever it is.
Procrastination.
Like, there's times where I'm in front of my computer and I'm supposed to write and I just watch people play pool.
brian simpson
See, procrastination is interesting because...
I heard somebody recently say that procrastination is your inability to deal with the negative feelings around the task.
Because procrastination isn't you just not doing the important thing.
You're doing something unimportant instead.
You're doing something with no consequences.
You're scrolling TikTok.
You're playing video games.
You're doing something with no stakes.
Because the stakes make you uncomfortable.
joe rogan
Right.
Yeah, like the sit in front of the computer and not knowing where to go with anything.
brian simpson
Yeah.
joe rogan
Fuck.
brian simpson
See, I need to leave.
Because we have a...
Because, you know, I'm roommates with Hans and Hassan.
There's an extra room that kind of turned into a podcast studio.
But I have to leave.
I still record somewhere else because I have to leave.
joe rogan
To work.
brian simpson
To work.
Yeah.
I can't...
Having my computer in my room was the worst thing I've ever done.
In my bedroom.
joe rogan
Because you just sit in the bedroom then.
brian simpson
Yeah, because it's the place where I work and the place where I rest, they like blend.
joe rogan
Yeah.
brian simpson
And it's like, I can't get things done that way.
joe rogan
I realized early on when I started doing my podcast, I had to take it out of my house.
I was like, I gotta take it out of here.
Plus, my daughters were really young and I was bringing crazy people over and pot was coming out of the fucking door and into the hallway like, Mommy, what's that smell?
unidentified
Yeah.
brian simpson
And it's like, oh, I don't want motherfuckers knowing where I live.
joe rogan
There's that, too.
And then there's also, like, sometimes my kids would be screaming in the background.
It was fun, though.
Those old videos are kind of hilarious.
brian simpson
And nobody comes and taps you on the shoulder and goes, hey, you're too famous for this.
You know what I mean?
It just creeps up on you.
joe rogan
Yeah.
brian simpson
Yeah, I had a motherfucker.
Somebody dropped me off at my house the other day.
I Ubered.
And the whole ride, this dude was asking me questions as though he didn't know who I was.
unidentified
Ugh.
He got you.
brian simpson
And then drops me off at my house and goes, hey man, I'm going to be honest.
I'm a big fan.
I didn't know you live here.
And it's like, aw, man.
unidentified
Shit.
brian simpson
So now when I Uber home, I have to Uber up the street.
I Uber to the next block.
joe rogan
Oh, no.
brian simpson
Yeah.
joe rogan
Oh, no.
brian simpson
But it's just part of it.
I don't think I'm not big enough where somebody's going to do something crazy.
But it only takes one crazy.
joe rogan
It only takes one crazy.
Why don't you get a car?
brian simpson
I will, eventually.
joe rogan
Yeah.
It's easy to drive around here.
brian simpson
Yeah, I will.
joe rogan
I get the whole Uber thing, but I like driving myself.
I like being alone, thinking.
There's something about the movement of driving, too.
Especially if you're driving something where you have a manual transmission.
There's all this activity in your mind.
There's a lot of stuff going on.
brian simpson
They don't even do those anymore.
joe rogan
Oh, yeah, they do.
brian simpson
Yeah?
joe rogan
Yeah, you can get manuals.
They still sell the Mustang in a manual.
They sell Porsches in manual.
brian simpson
But the default's automatic.
joe rogan
Yes.
There's very few cars where you can only get a stick.
There's a few sports cars where you can only get a stick.
Like, custom-made stuff, and there's a few...
unidentified
What?
joe rogan
Like, there's probably...
I think some of the Porsches.
There's like one or two Porsches.
Maybe it's the T. See if that's true, the 911T. They make purist cars.
Like, they did that...
They used to do that with the...
The GT3, it was like the Porsche R. It only came in a manual.
It was like this 500 horsepower, beautiful 911 that was like sedated looking because it looked almost like a right, it didn't have like a crazy wing like a GT3 RS. That's, yeah.
The unconnected car, internet connected cars makes it a case for unplugging.
How is it unconnected?
It doesn't have screens and shit and GPS, is that what it's saying?
Stripped down?
It has more, oh, the new 911T has more electronic equipment than the old one, including electronically adjustable dampers, active engine transmission.
Okay, that's just like electronics for the car itself, but the infotainment system is connected and able to receive over-the-air updates.
And linked to a smartphone app, but you can still turn the data sharing and refuse to use the app.
Even the UTA updates are limited to infotainment software, not vehicle controls.
For modern high-end vehicles, this is as close as you're going to get to an off-the-grid in a brand new car.
They're dope.
Go back to that image again.
Yeah, so that's a manual.
brian simpson
Yeah, but that's not as close as you can get off the grid.
Rip that shit out.
That's off the grid.
joe rogan
It still looks like it has Apple CarPlay.
brian simpson
Right.
Totally disconnected.
joe rogan
Yeah.
But if you get an old car, old cars, that's a real experience.
brian simpson
See, but I don't want that.
I want my shit loaded to the gills.
Give me every modern...
I'm a gadget guy.
I don't want a fucking old car.
No.
joe rogan
You would get annoyed if they didn't have Android Auto, right?
Some of them don't have Android Auto.
brian simpson
Yeah, some of them don't have it.
Or they don't have it wireless.
You have to plug a cable in to use it.
joe rogan
Yeah, that's annoying.
There was a thing where BMW was going to make people pay to use Apple CarPlay.
brian simpson
Or any other features.
joe rogan
I don't know what it is.
It was like a monthly subscription.
I was like, that's crazy.
Is that true?
Find out if that's true.
brian simpson
It's the rich tax.
joe rogan
But that's just stealing money.
Like, I bought the car.
Give me the fucking features.
I could just go out and rip that shit out and put one in there that doesn't require anything.
I get our Apple CarPlay.
jamie vernon
It used to be an $80 charge.
Now it's not.
joe rogan
Oh, okay.
They bailed on it.
That's crazy.
Just the fact that they had you charge per month?
jamie vernon
A year.
joe rogan
A year.
That's not a lot, but it's still stealing $80 a year.
brian simpson
Yeah, well, it's the rich tax.
It's like, I was just talking to one of the guys out there about, he pulled out some Tom Ford glasses, you know, and it's like, It's like when you finally can start buying stuff like that and you realize, oh, these are way nicer than the shit I've been buying, right?
But they ain't worth $500.
But they know if you can afford, they're probably worth like $250.
But they know if you can afford $250 sunglasses, you'll pay $500 for them.
joe rogan
Well, how many people sell stuff on, like, aftermarket?
They'll buy sneakers right when they come out, and then they sell those sneakers.
You could sell them because they'll sell out, and you could sell them for hundreds of dollars more.
brian simpson
There's some people that that's their whole business.
joe rogan
Yeah.
brian simpson
They're rich off that.
joe rogan
They flip sneakers.
brian simpson
Yeah, and they created, like, bots that'll buy them as soon as they come out.
joe rogan
It's crazy.
It's crazy the demand for them.
brian simpson
Yeah, I've never...
I like some sneakers, but I'm not about to...
Gadgets are the thing that I would like, that I'm unreasonable, like will pay extra up front to be the first adapted.
But sneakers, I'm like, I'll just wait.
I'll get some nice ones.
joe rogan
Yeah, you're all in with gadgets, and you're all in with Android, which is very interesting.
brian simpson
For now.
joe rogan
Oh, you're starting to come over to the dark side.
brian simpson
Well, I think Apple is about to switch, not to USB-C, but I think they're going to go wireless completely.
joe rogan
That's not smart.
brian simpson
It's the way they...
joe rogan
It's not as fast.
brian simpson
Well, the thing is, the reason they're still on the old Lightning cable is because manufacturers have to pay them for that made-for-Apple shit.
joe rogan
Right, because of the Lightning cable.
brian simpson
They should have gone to USB-C. And they invented USB-C. That's crazy.
And now they got the MagSafe shit.
And that's proprietary as well.
Because the EU just ruled against them.
joe rogan
Right.
The EU said that they have to put USB-C cables.
brian simpson
No, the EU said anything that can be charged with a cable has to be USB-C. Well, USB-C is superior, which is weird.
joe rogan
It's like superior for data transfer, superior for everything.
But Apple had that proprietary input that, you know...
So many more people have iPhones than I know.
brian simpson
Yeah, in America.
joe rogan
Yeah.
But if you look at, like, the number of sales, it's like, I think there's way more Android phones than there are iPhones, right?
brian simpson
In the world, yeah.
joe rogan
What is it in America?
I think even in America there's more Android phones than iPhones.
brian simpson
I'm not sure.
No.
joe rogan
No?
brian simpson
No, no, no.
joe rogan
Really?
I think it's just people with...
brian simpson
Apple has a lock on America.
joe rogan
But you can get a really good, cheap Android phone for like a couple hundred bucks.
brian simpson
Yeah.
joe rogan
Like, if you're on a budget and you just need a phone to text and send an email and shit, an Android phone will do whatever the fuck you need it to do and you can get one.
Go to Verizon Store.
What's a cheap Android?
jamie vernon
Apple claimed over 50% as of September this year.
joe rogan
Oh, so this is the first time?
jamie vernon
Yeah.
I just saw 2010 that said that they don't have the lead.
joe rogan
That's incredible.
They took it over, I guess.
We had this guy Siddharth Kara on the podcast the other day.
It was one of the most disturbing and dark and just depressing podcasts I've ever done.
brian simpson
Is it about spying?
joe rogan
It's about cobalt mining.
About what goes into getting a cell phone.
What really goes into getting a cell phone is slaves in the Congo and children in the Congo and people with babies on their backs, women who are working with a child on their back, breaking out cobalt with hammers and the toxic fumes.
They're inhaling them.
Their child's inhaling them.
All sorts of birth defects, cancers, respiratory diseases, dermatitis.
He was talking about all this horrible shit that happens to these people on top of the fact that they're not getting hardly any money.
They're just barely enough to survive and eat.
They're treated like shit.
They work 12 hours a day.
And that's at the heart of every fucking cell phone we own.
brian simpson
We can't even give these motherfuckers the cheap Android phones.
joe rogan
They don't have any phones.
They don't even have electricity.
That's what he's telling us.
It's like a very, very, very small percentage of the Congo even has electricity.
And these people that live in the mines, they're too poor or that work in the mines, they're too poor for any of that.
brian simpson
I'm working on this new bit now about how many steps need to be between you and And the atrocity for you to move on with your life.
unidentified
Right.
brian simpson
That's a good bit.
It's like, as long as I'm not getting my phone from them, that would make me feel bad.
Right?
joe rogan
Well, think about all the people that are active on their phone doing what they think is social justice.
brian simpson
Exactly.
It's crazy.
joe rogan
And you're on a phone that's literally at the bottom of the supply chain is slaves.
brian simpson
Dude, I have a thing for you, Joe.
Speaking of which.
What do you think...
This headline is about.
joe rogan
Okay.
brian simpson
This is what we do on my podcast, by the way.
joe rogan
I use the cough button for the right reason.
brian simpson
Woman with Down Syndrome loses court of appeal abortion law case.
So what do you think that's about?
joe rogan
I would say someone is forcing her to get an abortion.
brian simpson
Okay.
joe rogan
And she loses the lawsuit.
brian simpson
Right, because that's what a reasonable person would think.
joe rogan
Right.
brian simpson
No.
No.
joe rogan
What is it?
brian simpson
What it's about is...
So this is in England.
Their abortion law is pretty much the same as Texas.
And...
unidentified
Really?
brian simpson
It was pretty close.
joe rogan
Six weeks?
brian simpson
No, it's not six weeks.
But it's like there's an exception for...
There's an exception for, you know, the rape and incest.
And if there's going to be a severe birth defect.
And as a specific example, they use Down syndrome in the law.
joe rogan
Hmm.
brian simpson
And this woman wants to repeal the law because she has Down syndrome, and making that an exception makes her less than.
So if your baby's about to be born with Down syndrome in the UK, you can have an abortion.
joe rogan
You know, it's like, where do you decide birth defects end, right?
So what if your child is born with only one hand?
You know what I'm saying?
brian simpson
Well, it's all stuff that they can...
joe rogan
What if your child's born like Zion Clark?
brian simpson
Well, they can tell genetically beforehand.
I don't know if they can...
Well, maybe they can.
joe rogan
I think they can tell a lot.
brian simpson
Yeah, yeah.
joe rogan
I think they can tell a lot about your development.
If someone decides that...
I mean, you could get real crazy with that, right?
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
People are capable of some very dark justifications.
Like, look at what they were doing in China.
The one-child policy in China...
There was horror stories about people killing their babies that are girls so they could have one kid.
I don't know how many of them were folklore.
You know, those are those things that people would tell you.
You're just like, you know, they drown their babies.
brian simpson
Right, right, right.
joe rogan
You know?
brian simpson
Like the Spartans, they just throw them off a cliff.
joe rogan
Yeah, that they drown their girls.
Like, Jesus.
Is that...
How much is that real?
Do they really...
I mean, if you can imagine it, some horrific thing.
Someone has done it.
brian simpson
Because it's also crazy.
Because, like, what you can't have is a country of just men.
You can't...
joe rogan
No.
brian simpson
No, no, no.
As much as we talk and complain about women, we still need them to be...
We need that feminine energy to balance out.
You see what happens when it's just men left to their devices and there's no women.
That gets crazy.
joe rogan
It's not good.
brian simpson
No.
joe rogan
And also, if there's not enough females to match with the heterosexual males, you don't even have a chance.
brian simpson
Right, right.
joe rogan
If you're a guy already...
You know, everyone wants to talk about, like, you know, the benefits of being a guy, and there are benefits to being a guy, but one of the negative effects of being a guy that people don't talk about is guys that are unattractive and don't have any money.
They are unheard and unseen.
Unattractive guys with no money, they're in a very strange position in our society.
Andrew Tate, as much as people hate him, talked about that.
He's like, it's a very small percentage of guys that have all the money and all the women and all the fucking Ferraris and all that shit.
He's like, to say that that's men, that's representative of men, is insane.
Because it is such a small percentage.
Now, if it's a guy like that who's got diamond-crusted watches and he's fucking flashing and he's blinging and he's taking pictures with all these girls, it's obnoxious.
Everybody else gets upset about it.
But one of the reasons why they get upset about it is because they know how inaccessible that is.
For most people, it's completely impossible.
brian simpson
And women don't like to hear that.
And in a lot of situations, the ceiling is capped for women.
But the floor is also capped.
You know?
It's like, I ain't never seen a homeless bad bitch.
Not one time.
joe rogan
Yeah, but if they're not a bad bitch.
See, like, if you're a guy, like, even if you're a hot guy, you could still be poor and broke and no one's marrying you.
brian simpson
Oh, yeah.
Remember the one guy that Miley Cyrus, like, rescued?
Like, he was homeless and she, like, took him on a date to the award show or something?
It's like, yeah, he was on the street.
But you've never seen a girl that could be a model on the street.
joe rogan
That's maybe true.
brian simpson
Because there's always some dude that's willing to take care of you.
joe rogan
There's a lot of pretty prostitutes, man.
Some people go through some horrible shit in their life, even if they're attractive.
They're in the wrong situation, the wrong abuse at home.
brian simpson
Or they got schizophrenia or something.
joe rogan
Yes.
brian simpson
Mental health is...
joe rogan
Men too.
Like a hot guy with schizophrenia.
What a disaster.
Wasted all those genes on a wacky brain.
brian simpson
I forget what rapper said, but he's like a fat ass on a nun.
Who was that?
Chino XL. Oh, that's funny.
He said, you're a worthless waste of flesh like a fat ass on a nun.
joe rogan
That's funny.
brian simpson
That's some cold shit to say in a row.
joe rogan
That is very cold.
brian simpson
Yeah, but it's like, yeah, it's kind of, it's sad, man.
But I'm not sure if the world is worse.
Because, you know, the media wants you to believe that, like, everything's horrible.
joe rogan
No, the world's better statistically.
brian simpson
Right, right, right.
And I know people are doing bad, worse now relative to how they were doing a few years ago.
joe rogan
Yes.
brian simpson
But we all just went, the whole globe went through the same shit.
joe rogan
Well, it's, yeah, it's, you can't shut a country down.
Now we know.
unidentified
Now we know.
joe rogan
You can't do that.
But, you know, there's a lot of people that want to claim that they had the solution to that.
No one knew what the fuck was going on in the beginning.
The way it was handled was definitely bad.
But in the beginning, no one knew what the fuck to do.
We were all in favor of the lockdown at first because we all thought it was going to work.
Except for like virologists and epidemiologists who thought that it didn't matter and it was just going to spread no matter what you did.
brian simpson
Well, what blows my mind is that I feel like we're going to make the same mistake again.
joe rogan
We might...
Well, there's people that want to put the masks back on for RSV and for the flu and for all these different things we never wore a mask for before.
And then there's all this evidence that kids' immune system function is not working as good because they didn't get exposed to anything for all those times when they were isolated.
brian simpson
What about that fungal shit?
You heard about that?
joe rogan
Fungal shit.
brian simpson
There's like some fungal shit that was like spreading in Vegas.
Now it's everywhere.
joe rogan
What is it?
brian simpson
It's some shit you can breathe.
It's a fungus that you can breathe in.
joe rogan
Oh, no.
brian simpson
And it fucks some people up.
joe rogan
Imagine if it got you high.
Imagine if it was like psilocybin fungus that you could breathe in and there's like a whole town of people just tripping balls.
brian simpson
That reminds me of like, I don't know if it was an Outer Limits episode or something, but it was like some shit was going around the world fucking people up and it was making their skin like copper almost.
And then all the medical people were fighting on it and lockdowns and everything and at the end they realized that it was like a It was preparing everyone's skin because the sun was about to go turn into a white dwarf or whatever the fuck, or a red giant, and it was basically aliens saving us.
They introduced a virus that changed our skin so we could withstand the extra radiation.
joe rogan
Oh, wow.
brian simpson
I know, man.
joe rogan
I've always wondered if that's why aliens have those big black eyes.
If those things are like sunglasses.
It's like their environment gets so fucked that they need to be shielded from ultra-violet rays they can't see normally.
brian simpson
See, I would love to do that.
What if we got...
Because you know enough smart people.
If we got together and tried to re-engineer the human body...
joe rogan
They're gonna do that.
They're doing that right now.
There's a thing called...
Do you know what CRISPR is?
brian simpson
Oh, yeah, yeah.
The gene splicing thing?
Yeah.
joe rogan
Wild shit.
brian simpson
That's some crazy shit.
joe rogan
Wild shit.
They're going to make Thors and Hulks.
People are going to be able to run 500 miles an hour.
brian simpson
Remember Gattaca?
joe rogan
Yes, yeah.
brian simpson
Yeah, and it's like, yo, you're not going to have a choice.
People are like, I'm not going to edit my kids.
Yes, you are.
joe rogan
Yeah, you're gonna.
brian simpson
Yes, you are.
It'll be a new thing.
joe rogan
It'll just be like vaccinating your kids.
It'll be like things that everybody does.
It'll be like, you know, bringing your kid to the doctor for a checkup.
You know, having a baby in a hospital.
It'd be normal.
brian simpson
Whoever's Kim Kardashian in 2045, as soon as they pump out a super baby...
You know what I mean?
joe rogan
Yeah.
brian simpson
Like, can you imagine, like, getting, like, John Jones's, you know, mother's genes and mixing them with, like, uh, uh, Francis and Ghanu and...
joe rogan
Oh my god, yeah.
brian simpson
Yeah, and just having, like, what are you gonna do?
You're gonna make your baby...
Still be 5'6"?
joe rogan
Yeah.
brian simpson
When everybody's baby's 6'2 and just yoked?
joe rogan
Well, what about intellect?
One of the things that they did in China was they said that they were doing this thing to inoculate them from HIV. That was the pretense.
But what it really did was make them smarter.
And this doctor wound up, I think they just put the doctor in jail to, like, say, oh, I can't even believe he was doing this.
Put him in jail.
brian simpson
Oh, wow.
joe rogan
You know, the dude probably was, they probably told him to do it.
brian simpson
So they did this to everyone?
joe rogan
No, no, they did it to a couple guys.
How many people did they do that to?
I think it's...
jamie vernon
Two twin girls, it says.
joe rogan
Two twin girls, sorry, girls.
But I don't know how they know.
How long ago was this?
I think we've gone over this.
We've tried to figure out how they knew that their IQ was higher.
I think what they did with editing had something to do with cognitive function.
And they think that what they did would...
You don't have to put that on the ground if you don't want to.
brian simpson
Oh, okay.
joe rogan
You have that on the ground for a reason.
brian simpson
I was like, hide the logo because he's my...
joe rogan
No, you don't have to hide logos.
I don't give a shit.
What is it?
brian simpson
It's Uptime.
joe rogan
What is it?
brian simpson
It's some kind of fucking...
joe rogan
Energy drink?
brian simpson
Energy drink, yeah.
jamie vernon
I drink it all the time.
joe rogan
Good stuff?
What's it called again?
Uptime.
brian simpson
Yeah.
joe rogan
All right.
So what's the deal?
How do they know these guys are smarter?
jamie vernon
I'm trying to figure that out.
joe rogan
These girls, excuse me.
jamie vernon
So sexist.
CCR5 genes related to major brain functions.
You might have done some kind of human anatomy.
joe rogan
That's what it is.
jamie vernon
Created by two intelligent human beings with better memory.
brian simpson
So they did it to them in the womb?
joe rogan
They did it to them as embryos?
When did they do it?
I don't know.
jamie vernon
I've got to find a different article.
I'm reading a study on it.
joe rogan
Okay.
But the whole point is they've already started doing stuff like that.
And so if they can do that with the mind, imagine we all get Elon Musk's brain.
brian simpson
Oh, yeah.
joe rogan
Would you want it?
brian simpson
No, not his.
Like if I'm picking my geniuses?
joe rogan
Right.
brian simpson
No, he's too emotional.
I would probably go with...
Probably like a Sam Harris.
joe rogan
Dude, I think they're all emotional.
I think most Gene and Sam's brilliant, too.
But, I mean, people are human beings.
Human beings are emotional.
brian simpson
No, I'm just saying there's different kinds of intelligence.
joe rogan
Well, he engages.
You know, that's the thing.
These guys, they engage with people online.
When you engage online, like, your emotions are going to get beat up, even if they're strong.
Even if they're strong, your emotions are going to go on a run.
You're going to utilize a certain amount of your resources on those emotions.
brian simpson
Well, I went...
Because my producer doesn't like Elon Musk, and we argue about it all the time.
unidentified
What doesn't he like about him?
brian simpson
He's just a hardcore lefty.
So, you know, Elon is...
I don't want to put words in his mouth, but to him, Elon is what's wrong with everything.
But I'm one of those people where I try my best to be neutral with people like him because he's one of those people that's so polarizing that when people don't like you the way they don't like him, they...
Anything negative about you, they just believe it or repeat it.
joe rogan
For people like that, it's always good to try to engage them as calmly as possible and not even to pick a side.
Just you kind of want to steel man their position, right?
Like if someone is very, very emotional, you almost want to ask them, okay, tell me what you think and why you think this way.
And then they tell you what they think, and then you could say, have you ever considered, or did you know that, this?
I see what you're saying.
I agree with what you're saying.
You almost want to say, I see your points.
I understand what you're saying.
But human beings are extremely nuanced.
and you could narrow a guy like Elon down to like a very dismissible box, like very easily because he tweets at people and he says ridiculous shit and he trolls and he has fun.
He put a picture of fucking Bill Gates up next to a pregnant man emoji and said, if you want to lose a boner real quick.
brian simpson
No.
joe rogan
I mean, that shit is hilarious.
Who the fuck does that?
brian simpson
No, he put a poll up saying like, yo, should I step down as CEO?
Yeah.
joe rogan
And they said yes.
So he's looking for a CEO.
brian simpson
I hope he picks Lex.
joe rogan
Well, Lex offered to do it.
Lex is a brilliant engineer.
I don't know if he wants to be a CEO. A chief executive officer, that's what that is, right?
brian simpson
But do you think he was bullshitting when he offered?
joe rogan
I don't know if that's what he's offering.
He might have been offering to take it over from an engineering perspective.
brian simpson
Oh, okay.
joe rogan
Because that would change what he does.
And if he did do something like that, I think Lex is a brilliant man.
And he would be great at anything he puts his mind to.
He's one of the best interviewers in the game.
His podcast is sensational.
And he's so brilliant.
I mean, he used to work on AI at MIT. And he writes code for artificial intelligence.
brian simpson
When I first came down here, I didn't know who he was.
But I remember he was hanging out with you and all the comics and blah blah blah.
And you could just, just the way he was sitting in the corner, like, this motherfucker's different.
joe rogan
Yeah.
Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu black belt, shreds on the guitar, genius, like a certifiable genius.
And he's ultimately very curious and very kind.
He's a very kind person.
And he says it all, like he's always talking about treating people with love.
And he'll talk to anybody, man.
He'll talk to anyone.
He had Kanye on early when everybody was like, oh my god, Kanye's lost his fucking mind.
Lex is like, let him come on long form and express himself.
brian simpson
Yeah, and in a way that's like a death knell because it's like once you talk to him and you stay on that shit, there's no one that's going to treat you with more kindness and more objectivity.
joe rogan
Yeah, no more than Lex.
brian simpson
Yeah.
joe rogan
Yeah, no, he's great at it.
But see, the problem is if he went and became the CEO of Twitter, I feel like we wouldn't have as much of that Lex anymore.
He wouldn't be able to do those podcasts and do that.
But I know he likes working hard, man.
He's one of those crazy dudes that enjoys like 100-hour work weeks.
He likes dedicating himself to things.
brian simpson
Bro, I don't have that gene.
joe rogan
He's got a different gene.
brian simpson
I don't have that.
joe rogan
Well, he doesn't have the stand-up gene, I don't think.
I mean, maybe he could probably do it.
He could do it if he thought about it.
If he thought about it long enough.
brian simpson
You think he could do stand-up?
joe rogan
100%.
Yeah.
Really smart people could...
Elon could do it 100%.
Just the fact that he would write that, if you want to lose a bone real quick, a picture of Bill Gates next to a pregnant man emoji.
brian simpson
See, but I... No, see, I disagree.
joe rogan
Listen, you did it.
You sucked from the beginning.
I'm not saying he'd be good.
brian simpson
Yeah, but I'm...
But being funny...
Being funny is just one part of it, right?
But the live performing thing...
That's the hard part.
joe rogan
There's a lot to that, for sure.
But there's people that are really funny that aren't that good at live performing.
brian simpson
Yeah, they're writers.
joe rogan
Yeah, but they write and they go on stage sometimes and kill.
There's certain guys that we know that are really good joke writers.
They're not the most charismatic on stage.
brian simpson
The only people that I think absolutely can't do it are people that are just not funny at all.
Because I know people that think they can do it, and I think you've never made anyone laugh.
You've never made me laugh, and the whole time I've known you, you can't do stand-up.
joe rogan
Well, some people, like, severely, like, we all lack self-awareness, like, complete objectivity, but some people just have zero.
They just don't know, you know, they just don't know.
It's almost like some people are just born hard of hearing.
Their ears don't work well.
brian simpson
Yeah.
joe rogan
Some people are born and they just, whatever the fuck it is about personality and...
brian simpson
It's like people that are tone deaf.
joe rogan
Yeah.
brian simpson
It's like they think they can sing and they don't hear it.
They don't hear it, how horrible it is.
joe rogan
But that's, they're just, it's the same kind of person.
It's like there's delusional people.
Their brain's not working right.
brian simpson
Yeah, I think that comes from like, you have to, that's why who is around you is so important.
In a lot of ways, it's the look of the draw.
joe rogan
A lot of ways.
If you're in the middle of nowhere, you know, Little Rock, Arkansas, you want to do stand-up?
I don't know how many dudes are there that are really good.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Right?
You're in Hartford, Connecticut, you want to do stand-up?
brian simpson
Or just somebody that loves you enough to tell you the truth.
They're like, hey man, you shouldn't do this.
You know?
joe rogan
Yeah, but you can't listen to all those people.
brian simpson
Yeah, yeah, you're right.
joe rogan
My mom told me I wasn't funny.
brian simpson
Oh, well, yeah.
My family, I don't know what they think.
I think they recognize that other people think I'm funny.
joe rogan
Well, they know you're killing.
brian simpson
Yeah.
joe rogan
They have to hear the laughs.
brian simpson
But I think it's hard for people that knew you when you weren't this to see you as the way they look at other big name people and stuff.
joe rogan
That's why it's really hard when you start off as an open-miker in a city, and then they always think of you as that guy who sucked.
And then you go on and you get better, and you have to come back as a headliner.
You gotta come back when you're undeniable.
brian simpson
You know that whole bit that Chappelle has about how his kid wanted to really meet Kevin Hart, you know?
And it's like...
Because to his kids, he's just dad.
He ain't the funniest motherfucker on the planet.
You know what I mean?
People that know you a certain way, it's hard for them to knock you out of it.
joe rogan
Well, at least they've known him as dad.
He's always been Dave Chappelle.
What if they knew him as dad, the open-miker?
brian simpson
Yeah.
joe rogan
That's a different animal.
See, by the time he had children, you know, he was already Dave Chappelle.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
You know, if you're an open-miker and you're in a town and they watch you eat shit the first time you ever get on stage and you got notes and shit, they're always going to remember that.
They probably saw you bomb 20 times.
brian simpson
I remember, like, I was talking to Bert's family, and it's like, his kids don't even watch him.
They're completely uninterested.
joe rogan
They get plenty of him.
He's at home.
brian simpson
Yeah, yeah.
joe rogan
He's there all the time.
brian simpson
I was there when they first saw him tell the machine story.
unidentified
Wow.
brian simpson
They weren't allowed to see it until they were like a certain age.
And it's crazy.
They would be completely not even curious to like look up all this stuff.
joe rogan
That makes sense though.
brian simpson
Yeah, it makes sense.
Now that I think because I don't have kids, so I don't understand.
But now I do.
You know, it's like to them, it's like, When he was gone?
joe rogan
Right.
brian simpson
Yeah.
joe rogan
He's just your dad.
brian simpson
Yeah.
joe rogan
That's an interesting comparison, but I think it's even more extreme when someone sees you as a beginner in something.
That's the thing with martial arts, too.
Sometimes someone's a white belt, and you always think of them as that person you used to crush when they were a white belt.
And then all of a sudden, they're a purple belt, and you're in fucking danger.
brian simpson
And they wrap your ass.
joe rogan
Yeah, you're in danger.
You're like, oh, no, you got a lot better.
Fuck.
brian simpson
See, jujitsu intimidates me.
But I need to pick something up.
I think I'm going to do boxing.
joe rogan
Why don't you do jiu-jitsu?
brian simpson
I don't know.
I wrestled for my freshman year of high school and I hated it.
joe rogan
It's hard.
brian simpson
It's constantly hard.
It doesn't stop being hard.
joe rogan
Wrestlers are some of the mentally strongest people in the world.
Just to get through the practices and the drills and all the live rounds, the live wrestling, and then to go to meets and to make weight the day of the match and the shit that those guys go through, the way they cut weight, the mental strength that wrestlers have off the charts.
brian simpson
At focusing while they're suffering.
Whereas the average person will be suffering and 90% of their brain power will be focused on how much it sucks.
And wrestlers learn how to just ignore it and completely focus while they're in pain, when they can't breathe.
joe rogan
They have a phrase for it.
It's called embrace the grind.
brian simpson
If you've never had a motherfucker on top of you that you can't get off you, you don't understand what I'm talking about.
Because, look, I'll never forget one.
This is what made me quit wrestling.
I showed up at this...
It was our school hosting a tournament.
And I'd gotten my brother to come.
And, you know, my family didn't give a fuck about wrestling.
But he came to watch.
And I was going up against this other...
It was my turn to go against this other dude.
And I walked in, and this motherfucker's got...
He's got some kind of tubes or some shit coming out of him.
Like, he's on some kind of, I don't know, a heart thing or something.
And no one gave me any guidance.
No one gave me a heads up.
I didn't know if I was allowed to grab it.
Like, would he die if I pulled it up?
None of that shit.
No one said anything to me.
But I'm like, okay, it's fine.
My brother's watching.
I'm just going to fuck this dude up.
He's crippled or something, right?
That's how I was thinking back then.
And as soon as the ref blew the whistle, I've never seen a motherfucker move this fast.
He dove at my ankle and tripped me and was on my back and we rolled out of bounds and the ref blew the whistle and he dove at my ankle and he did it like five times in a row, just lightning!
Fuck me up.
And I threw my headset off and I got Dr. Point and I was like, fuck that.
And I walked out of the gym.
Wow.
Because my, you know, because it was the first time anyone come to watch me and I got just embarrassed and I couldn't handle it.
joe rogan
Oh, no.
brian simpson
Yeah.
Never wrestled after that.
joe rogan
If you get in there with someone who's really good at something and you're not, you just realize right away, you're like, oh no, I can't think as quick as you're moving.
I can't keep the rhythm.
I don't know what you're doing before you're doing it, and then you're doing another thing because you anticipate my counter to that thing, and then you've chained another thing together, and now I'm on my back again.
brian simpson
Yeah, it's like you're in trouble.
And honestly, it came down because there was a war between our coach and our assistant coach.
Because our coach would focus on technique and drilling and stuff like that.
And our assistant coach wanted us just in the weight room.
He was like, if you're stronger, you'll win.
And the assistant coach won out.
Because all these people motherfuckers are volunteers.
And the coach ended up leaving.
The strength guy was in.
And he was like, no, motherfucker, I needed to know what to do.
When somebody dives at your ankle with the speed of Usain Bolt or whatever, you know?
joe rogan
Yeah, if you know technique, then strength is important.
But strength is not as important as technique.
No.
Technique is the most important thing by far.
If you look at how the Russians did it, that's one of the things that's interesting about George St. Pierre.
Because George St. Pierre was one of the very best wrestlers in MMA, but he didn't wrestle in high school or college.
He's from Canada.
And where he was from, he didn't engage in wrestling.
He learned wrestling from the Russian nationals that had moved to Montreal.
So he learned it as a martial artist.
brian simpson
As an adult?
joe rogan
As an adult.
brian simpson
Wow.
joe rogan
And look how good he got.
Because their shit was very, very technical.
The Russians are always known to be very technical, and they do a lot of drilling.
Because there's not like an ego-based system, right?
The system is about success.
Like, what's the best way to achieve success?
It's like, you don't have a choice.
This is Soviet Union, right?
You shut the fuck up, and this is what you're gonna do.
There's no Billy does it his own way.
There's none of that.
This is not the culture.
The culture is like, figure out and suffer.
And what's the best way to do?
Do what you don't want to do, which is drill.
And that's the same thing with jujitsu, too.
If you want to get really good, a guy like Mikey Musumechi, he drills all day.
brian simpson
Yeah, I'm a huge fan.
joe rogan
Gordon Ryan, those guys drill all day.
They drill constantly.
The more you drill, the more it's like tying the shoes.
And the more those things you can add to your repertoire, the better you are.
Those guys will get to a point where it doesn't matter how strong you are.
You don't know what to do with your strength.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
You're helpless because your arm doesn't work strong that way.
They're behind you.
You're fighting an arm around your neck.
You're fucked.
brian simpson
And then you watch some of the shit they pull off.
Whereas you have to slow it down to see exactly what they did.
How the fuck did he get on his back?
joe rogan
Yeah, Mikey did that in 1FC. There's this back take that he had that's so brilliant.
I made a bunch of people watch it.
I'm like, watch this.
Watch how slick this back take is.
brian simpson
Are you going to play it?
joe rogan
Yeah, we could find it.
Mikey Musumechi's slick back take in 1FC. It was beautiful.
brian simpson
Yeah, he's a genius.
He's brilliant.
His whole family dangerous.
joe rogan
Yeah, his sister's dangerous, too.
brian simpson
Yeah, the sister, she just did something.
joe rogan
She's a black belt, too.
brian simpson
Yeah, she just won a tournament somewhere.
joe rogan
I'm sure.
brian simpson
Yeah.
joe rogan
She's his sister.
She's probably an assassin.
But I remember the first time I ever saw him, I saw him live in Austin when they were doing that Who's Number One thing.
And it was him and this other dude that were grappling.
And the other dude was, like, ripped, and he had fucking shaved head and tattoos and shit.
brian simpson
Oh, yeah, this is it.
joe rogan
And I'm like, I'll take the guy with the glasses.
I'm like, watch this back take.
And this is against Iminari, who's super legit.
Look at that back take.
He stepped over with one leg.
Show that one more time.
Watch how he did this.
Like, if you don't know jujitsu, like, he's in sort of side control here.
But look at that.
He got to his back so quickly.
It was so slick.
And all of a sudden, Iminari's trapped.
I mean, this is absolute, beautiful, precision movement.
And that's something he's drilled like a thousand times, I'm sure.
brian simpson
And Iminari's like one of the goats.
joe rogan
Oh, yeah.
He's a legend.
Iminari's like, they created a role after him, like the Iminari role.
It's called the Iminari role.
There's also an Iminari submission from an omoplata.
It's like you got a guy on a shoulder lock, and you reach under the chin with an S-grip, and you submit him from the back.
brian simpson
Maybe I will try some jujitsu.
joe rogan
Yeah, that's right.
brian simpson
Because you know what?
Motherfuckers is getting more dangerous.
joe rogan
It's like comedy.
You're gonna suck, and then you're gonna get better.
That's what it's like.
But unlike comedy, anybody can get better.
brian simpson
At Jiu Jitsu?
joe rogan
Yes.
Anybody can get better at Jiu Jitsu.
brian simpson
Some of the stupidest people in the world are good at Jiu Jitsu.
joe rogan
You just need to drill it.
But it's a different kind of intelligence.
Some people have a lot of access to information, like the definition of words, history they can pull up and tell you about.
It's very, very impressive.
And some people have a wide library of physical movements that they could pull up.
brian simpson
It's like a reflex.
joe rogan
It's still intelligence.
brian simpson
You have to have like a bug on you and you pop just without even thinking about it.
It's like some people have that.
They feel your thigh on their knee in a certain way and they just snap and you're fucking dead.
joe rogan
They just know what you're going to do, too.
brian simpson
God, that's so terrifying.
joe rogan
They've rolled so many times and they have such a deep understanding of what's possible with the human body, where the leverage points are.
Jiu-jitsu is so technical.
People think of it as being like this brutish thing where people just like choke each other and shit.
But you see a guy like Mikey, he's not a brute at all.
Jiu-jitsu is super, super technical.
brian simpson
Why do you think Sambo is more popular?
joe rogan
Well, that's interesting that you said that because Gordon Ryan just said that he thinks that combat Sambo is actually better for MMA than Jiu-jitsu is.
Which, he's got some real good points.
If anybody knows, it's Gordon.
And the guys that are really good in combat sambo, like Khabib and Islam Makhchev, who's the UFC lightweight champion right now, he's a fucking animal and he's a combat sambo guy.
There's a lot of those combat sambo guys where, you know, they're really good at controlling people from the top position.
Which, you know, arguably when you add in punches and elbows and stuff like that, that's more important than anything.
And they can submit you too.
brian simpson
Because it feels like whatever the answer to Khabib is...
The next generation is going to come up with doing that as natural, right?
joe rogan
Well, they're going to encounter guys like that, and they're going to try to figure out counters to it.
Or they're going to get better at what they're doing, that combat soundball style, and they'll get better at it and incorporate other things to it.
But Khabib's done that too.
You just don't see it as much.
When he submitted Justin Gaethje, he submitted him with a mounted triangle, and then he finished him off of his back and put him to sleep.
He can do all those other things.
brian simpson
That was his last match.
joe rogan
That was his last match.
But he almost got Dustin at the end of the first round and then finally submitted him in the second round.
But it was brilliant.
But it was as good as you'll ever see like an elite Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu black belt do it.
So he can do that too.
He can submit you off his back too.
But that pressure, that top pressure and the ability to take guys down and control them and beat the fuck out of them.
Smash!
What he calls it.
brian simpson
By the way, side note, Paige Van Zandt tweeted that she was single yesterday.
joe rogan
Oh no.
brian simpson
Just in case I was wondering.
joe rogan
Is she tweeting stuff like that?
brian simpson
She tweeted, and I'm single.
joe rogan
Imagine the amount of dick pics that must be coming that lady's way.
It must be like locust.
brian simpson
Right, but it's like, the thing is, you gotta be able to beat her to qualify.
She's not fucking a dude weakening her.
joe rogan
No.
You remember those videos you'd see of Kansas in the 1950s when a locust would hit?
You can't even get to your car.
brian simpson
Yeah, yeah.
joe rogan
That's probably what the dick pics are like coming at Paige Van Zandt.
Must be unstoppable.
brian simpson
I mean, it was probably like that beforehand.
Like, it was probably pretty bad beforehand, but now she's like, I'm single, everybody.
joe rogan
Well, she just put the bat signal up.
brian simpson
Right, right.
joe rogan
If she said I'm single, and she said I'm single on fucking social media.
brian simpson
I'm like, yeah, just get on one of the maps.
Get on Hinge or Ryo.
joe rogan
She doesn't have to do that.
brian simpson
No?
joe rogan
No, just filter through those DMs.
brian simpson
Do they have a dating app just for fighters?
joe rogan
That's a good question.
There's not enough of them.
brian simpson
No?
joe rogan
It's so hard to become a fighter.
brian simpson
Oh, yeah, I guess that's true.
joe rogan
Yeah, you...
I mean, and to find female fighters?
Oh, my God.
Good luck.
jamie vernon
She might have been kidding.
joe rogan
Oh, was just joking around?
jamie vernon
Yeah, there's tweets she was doing to...
It had to do with the football player quarterback for the...
Oh!
joe rogan
She's joking.
brian simpson
Okay.
jamie vernon
Like, if they did good, her husband would like that or something like that.
And then they won, so she says, am I single now?
joe rogan
Oh, that's fine.
Sorry, Paige.
brian simpson
But see, a lot of motherfuckers like me, she still got those dick pics.
joe rogan
Of course, if she said it in a chain of tweets, but that one was by itself an individual tweet.
Most people like us just read that one and be like, yes!
You know how many dudes who don't have a shot are like, fuck yeah!
jamie vernon
She's free!
joe rogan
Finally!
Some guys, if they're following a porn star and they find out the porn star is married, they get mad.
brian simpson
Right, like you had a chance.
But you know what?
A lot of porn stars will fuck a fan from time to time.
joe rogan
Oh, that's sweet.
brian simpson
Like as a promo thing.
Yeah!
They'll put it up like, hey, hey, met up with my fan.
unidentified
Fucked him.
joe rogan
That's sweet.
brian simpson
Yeah, that is kind of thoughtful.
joe rogan
Very thoughtful.
brian simpson
It's like you're using your powers for good.
joe rogan
Nice.
Very charitable.
Charity fuck.
brian simpson
She probably stopped a school shooter or something.
joe rogan
How fast do those guys nut?
brian simpson
Probably immediately.
joe rogan
As soon as they touch it.
brian simpson
Because the other thing, too, is porn stars know how to...
Take away all the insecurity and all of that.
Because obviously those guys are coming in nervous.
Right.
And they're literally filming it.
joe rogan
Those poor guys must fall in love so hard.
brian simpson
Oh, of course.
Of course.
How's that?
Yeah, yeah, definitely.
joe rogan
The saddest.
brian simpson
Can you imagine never really getting laid and then all of a sudden the girl you've been fantasizing about will fuck you and it's on tape?
joe rogan
And it's your first one.
That's your first one.
The lady you've been jacking off to for the past five years.
unidentified
Yeah.
brian simpson
Even though I never believe that someone's a virgin.
joe rogan
You don't believe it?
brian simpson
I don't believe that.
They might have been a virgin when they flew in, but their first time wasn't on camera.
joe rogan
You don't think so?
brian simpson
She probably gave them a handy off camera and then was like...
joe rogan
But what if they can't get it up a second time?
What if they've been beaten off all day like a maniac?
brian simpson
Well, the porn industry has a solution for all that.
joe rogan
Like a needle in your dick?
brian simpson
They'll inject you something.
They'll give you a pill.
jamie vernon
If you don't believe it, Tom Segura has a list of videos I think he can show you that can give you examples of this.
joe rogan
Of them shooting?
jamie vernon
No, there's just a website I know of that he knows of that it's like porn bloopers where all sorts of stuff that doesn't make it on to the normal videos.
brian simpson
Oh, yeah.
jamie vernon
It's like the cutting room floor scenes.
brian simpson
See, I don't like porn bloopers.
Yeah.
To me, it reminded me of when...
Remember growing up how the comedy TV shows were like Family Matters, Full House, these shows you were watching, how every now and then they would do a serious episode that would tell you to stay off drugs or some shit.
I hated that.
I didn't come here for that.
I ain't watching porn for laughs.
You know what I'm saying?
I'm trying to beat my dick and keep it moving.
I don't want to watch...
You know, or it's like when they break character.
I hate it when they giggle.
No, don't have fun.
Don't have fun.
joe rogan
You're there for serious fucking elements.
Thankfully for you, there's a lot of categories.
Is there anything on earth with more variety to choose from than porn?
Is that like the most...
If you think about like, if you looked at each individual clip that's available online as a one individual piece of work, Is there more porn than any other kind of content?
unidentified
Yeah.
brian simpson
The only exception, the only thing that could even come close to hanging with porn is cat videos.
joe rogan
What about TikToks now?
TikToks are probably closing in.
brian simpson
TikTok is, everything on the internet is mostly porn and cats.
It's true.
joe rogan
There's a lot of puppy stuff too.
brian simpson
Yeah, yeah.
jamie vernon
That's what drives tech.
Porn drives tech.
It's like the unspoken secret.
brian simpson
It really does.
joe rogan
It drives innovation in terms of like, it drove streaming.
jamie vernon
VCRs wouldn't have existed if porn videos weren't getting sold everywhere.
If Betamax is one, everybody would have had a Betamax player.
brian simpson
Who streamed 4K first?
Porn.
joe rogan
Did they?
brian simpson
Yeah.
Porn was first with the 4K. Porn proliferated like the VR stuff.
joe rogan
You know what's interesting?
Industries get bailed out.
Like when things happen and they collapse because people say, well, we can't afford to let this industry die off.
Like the banking industry.
Everybody would lose their money.
We can't do that.
Like other industries have been bailed out too when things go wrong.
But when even like people complained about the music industry.
Remember when Napster came along?
brian simpson
Oh, yeah.
joe rogan
Everybody was so upset.
So upset.
brian simpson
About Napster?
joe rogan
Yeah.
Because all of a sudden people are just taking that content for free.
But that happened to the porn industry.
No one said shit.
Tough shit.
brian simpson
Yeah.
joe rogan
It's like, everyone's pretending they don't use it.
brian simpson
But they flipped it.
They figured out how to bring it back around.
Because now, a lot of porn, what they'll do is, you know, they'll give you almost the whole video, and they'll cut it off at the cum shot.
They're like, if you want to see the rest of this...
joe rogan
Well, they'll get more traffic than they would without it, but still more people are going to watch it for free.
But I guess it's just like one of those things.
You catch as many fish as you can.
jamie vernon
How much money do you think was spent on OnlyFans last year?
joe rogan
How much money was spent by fans?
jamie vernon
Users spent on the platform last year.
brian simpson
I'm going to say over a billion dollars.
jamie vernon
It's definitely over a billion dollars.
unidentified
Wow!
brian simpson
I'm going to say three billion.
What?
jamie vernon
What?
brian simpson
I mean, I'm not surprised, but that's...
joe rogan
I'm surprised.
brian simpson
Really?
joe rogan
That's crazy.
jamie vernon
$4.8 billion in one year.
joe rogan
Jamie, you were talking about this yesterday.
Are we going to reach a future where every girl's on OnlyFans?
jamie vernon
Why wouldn't a young...
If you're 16 and they're like, college?
Where you're going to go $200,000 in debt?
Or do you want $200,000 in four years?
joe rogan
And what is your job?
What if you get a job out of college and it sucks?
No, a job that sucks.
You spend all that money on college?
brian simpson
Any woman that is remotely good-looking that's complaining about not having any money, I'm like...
joe rogan
Yeah, but they don't want to do that.
There's a lot of girls that don't want that.
brian simpson
I understand that, but if push come to shove...
Listen, nobody wants to be a whore.
jamie vernon
There's also the line that we dug, or maybe someone else did, like the Bad Baby, the girl from Dr. Phil's show, she barely is showing anything, and she makes almost the most money of anyone.
joe rogan
Right, but she's wicked famous.
Is that the case with most of the girls that are making a lot of money?
jamie vernon
How much is a lot of money?
That's the next arguable point.
Like, how much money do you need?
brian simpson
Or there's some couples, like a couple do it, like they fuck on camera, they cut their heads off, Right.
And they pay their bills.
joe rogan
Right.
They frame their heads out.
Right.
brian simpson
It's like a push come to shove.
It's like a decent proposal.
unidentified
Right?
brian simpson
You remember that movie?
Mm-hmm.
It's like, yo, babe, this dude wants to fuck you and it'll pay off our house and send our kids to college.
One time!
And I know you don't want to be a whore, but let's at least talk about it.
You know, like most women would be like, absolutely not.
But it's like, okay, wait a minute now.
We're going to pay off the house, babe.
joe rogan
What do you think would happen if prostitution was completely legal?
brian simpson
Well, first of all, it would make it safer for the sex workers.
joe rogan
100%.
brian simpson
Because it's one of those things that everyone pretends like they don't do or they don't participate in it.
Everyone watches porn.
At least every man watches porn.
joe rogan
Well, there's a lot of men who have sworn off of it because they realize they had a problem with it.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
A lot of people talk about that now.
There's like a no porn movement among some guys because porn, I think, for a lot of people is like gambling.
You know, some people just get addicted and they're on it all the time and it frames the way they think about sex.
And then some people, they just decide because of that, I'd rather just have none.
No porn.
brian simpson
Yeah, I have a few friends that did that.
They don't watch porn.
joe rogan
It's not a bad move.
brian simpson
But it's nice to know it's there.
joe rogan
It's always going to be there.
It's the gambling argument, too.
Even less so, because everybody has sexual urges for the most part.
Not everybody has gambling urges.
brian simpson
One of the things I had to argue against, I had a debate thing in college, I had to argue that porn was not harm.
It was a big movement.
Porn, its existence is harmful to women.
Or that all the women in it are being exploited.
And to some degree that's true, but most of that is because, like you said, if prostitution was legal, it would cut back on all the exploitation.
joe rogan
The thing is you can't make it illegal because you can't take away a person's right to do whatever they want to do, like those couples.
Those couples that cut their heads off.
They frame their heads out so you don't see them.
That's 100% up to them.
You can't tell them they can't do that.
brian simpson
What about selling your body?
joe rogan
But also, why is it okay to give sex away for free, but it's not okay to pay for it?
That doesn't make any sense.
brian simpson
I mean, it's also okay to pay for it indirectly.
joe rogan
Well, it's also okay to pay for massages.
Nobody wants to rub your fucking feet.
brian simpson
Right.
joe rogan
When someone rubs your feet and they get money for it.
Like, we allow people to do things they don't want to do that are pleasurable to other people.
brian simpson
Well, the thing is, listen, to me, I look at it just like, okay, it's illegal for me to give a politician money directly.
unidentified
Right.
brian simpson
It's also illegal for me to buy them something.
joe rogan
Right.
brian simpson
Right?
But...
I can't pay a woman for pussy, but I can buy her something for pussy.
joe rogan
Well, you can pay her, she just can't report it.
brian simpson
Right.
Even though you should.
Did you know that you can still report illegal stuff to the IRS? Like, they encourage you to do so.
joe rogan
Really?
brian simpson
There's a form for ill-gotten gains.
joe rogan
That's interesting.
brian simpson
So they don't get you for tax evasion.
Exactly.
joe rogan
Which is worse.
brian simpson
And legally, technically, they can't use it against you.
joe rogan
Isn't that how they got Al Capone?
brian simpson
That is how they got Al Capone.
He's not the only one.
That's how they got Wesley Snipes.
joe rogan
But yeah, but Wesley Snipes wasn't a fucking criminal.
Wesley Snipes was just an actor who got bad advice.
brian simpson
Right, right.
joe rogan
Capone never fired a federal income tax return claiming that he had no taxable income.
That's hilarious.
unidentified
That's hilarious.
jamie vernon
They're not untrue, right?
joe rogan
I guess.
He had no taxable income, right?
IRS Special Agent Frank Wilson and the T-men followed the money, gathering evidence that Capone had made millions of dollars on income that was never taxed.
Yeah, so that's why the smart ones, like the Russians, they open businesses.
They buy businesses.
And they use those businesses to launder money.
brian simpson
Yeah, well, the smart rich people will...
joe rogan
These are criminals, not like just rich people.
brian simpson
Right.
We're talking about crime.
Ill-gotten gains.
And it's like, how did you get a paper trail back when it was Hollywood paper?
joe rogan
Well, he had houses and cars and fucking, you know, Al Capone was a flashy dude.
He was old school mafia, John Gotti style.
You know, he was the king of Chicago.
unidentified
Yeah.
brian simpson
I can't imagine living like that, though.
joe rogan
That's a scary way to live.
brian simpson
Always looking over your shoulder, you know, always having to be afraid.
Because, you know, the old saying is like, if you're a criminal, you have to get lucky every day.
And the cops only got to get lucky once.
That you just gotta slip up one time, and the cop just happened to catch a detail or something, you know?
joe rogan
Well, you know the comedy store was owned by the mob.
brian simpson
Yeah, when it was Cero's, right?
joe rogan
Yeah.
brian simpson
Yeah, I hear that, but it's hard for me to tell, because I heard that from the same people that told me it was haunted.
joe rogan
It was Bugsy Siegel's.
Bugsy Siegel owned the comedy store.
brian simpson
Wow.
joe rogan
Didn't he make sure that's true?
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Bugsy Siegel owned Cero's.
He at least was one of the owners.
Might have been multiple owners.
Is that what it was?
Yeah.
Mitzi was originally renting out just the OR. Well Mitzi took over long after Ciro's was gone and then another thing came after Ciro's and then Mitzi took it over after the other thing.
unidentified
Okay.
joe rogan
Mitzi and her husband.
brian simpson
So they were never renting it from the mob?
joe rogan
I don't believe so.
unidentified
Okay.
joe rogan
I think they owned the building.
jamie vernon
It says it was owned by an entrepreneur, William Wilkerson, but then it says only to have control of the resort rested, maybe wrestled is what I was supposed to say, from him by mobster Bugsy Siegel.
joe rogan
Oh, so Bugsy Siegel took it from him.
jamie vernon
Stole it.
joe rogan
That probably happened all the time.
Do you want to die?
Do you want to just give me your club?
You can open up another club, stupid.
brian simpson
Yeah, you can have it.
joe rogan
Yeah, they just would do that just to flex.
brian simpson
Take shit from you?
joe rogan
Just take shit from you.
What are you gonna do?
You can't do anything.
brian simpson
There's nothing you can do.
joe rogan
Nothing you can do.
They'll kill you.
Well, back then they owned the police.
They owned everybody.
I mean, when there was no real, like, no one was filming things.
Like, there's no DNA evidence.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Come on, man.
They just ran shit.
brian simpson
That's back when you could just go to jail from a hunch.
joe rogan
Do you know how many people are buried in the Nevada desert?
Look how they find these people in Lake Mead as Lake Mead dries up.
They're finding all these dead bodies.
They found six dead bodies down there and some of them are people that drowned.
One of them was a guy who drowned saving his son and his son remembered it.
brian simpson
Oh man.
joe rogan
His son's like a grown adult now and it's like scary.
brian simpson
But that's a great way to remember your dad.
joe rogan
I guess.
Yeah, your dad saved your fucking life.
brian simpson
I mean, there's worse ways.
joe rogan
There's worse ways.
But there's quite a few people, probably, that they haven't found in Lake Mead that just got fucking shot and dumped there.
One guy was dressed like from the 1970s.
They found him in a barrel.
brian simpson
You know what?
They probably find a lot of motherfuckers if they demolish one of them casinos.
joe rogan
Oh, yeah.
Under the cement?
brian simpson
Yeah.
unidentified
For sure.
brian simpson
There's a lot of bodies down there.
joe rogan
For sure.
For sure.
They did that just for a goof.
That's what Mikey is.
That cocksucker.
That fucking rat.
We buried him right here.
For sure.
brian simpson
Do you think the mob still exists?
100%.
Just not as powerful?
joe rogan
Well, they probably have learned from their mistakes.
You know, they probably do it in a way that's a little bit more clever.
brian simpson
Right, yeah.
joe rogan
Like, the problem with the way John Gotti did it, like, that was, like, when people think about the mob, they think of John Gotti.
And walk around in those expensive suits and shit.
The problem with that is, like, he was in front of everybody's face.
Like, everybody knew it.
Whereas, like, Vincent the Chin Gigante, he would walk around in a bathrobe like he was crazy.
And he would talk to himself.
And he'd walk around the neighborhood like he was schizophrenic.
And that was his hustle.
That's how they would say, he's running the mob.
They're like, what, this crazy guy?
Talking to himself?
brian simpson
That's hilarious.
joe rogan
The way they caught him is they put microphones.
They knew the way he walked, the route.
So they put microphones.
They parked their own cars there and put microphones in all these different cars.
So as he walked by, they could record all the different shit that he was saying.
brian simpson
Damn.
joe rogan
So he's ordering hits.
brian simpson
I thought he was going to be like...
They did it with bees or, like, hornets.
And as soon as one get in his face, like, motherfucker!
Like, he just started talking straight.
Son of a bitch, who the fuck?
joe rogan
Have you ever seen that video of the dude who's a newscaster, this black guy?
brian simpson
Oh, yeah.
That's one of the OG classic.
That's one of the classic videos.
joe rogan
He's got the full broadcaster voice going.
Motherfucker!
It's hilarious.
unidentified
On that Thursday here at Augusta High School that led to Chris Wood's death.
What the fuck is that?
That's amazing.
brian simpson
This is one of the best things on the internet ever.
joe rogan
It's amazing.
But here's the thing.
It's like, why can't someone just be themselves and tell you the fucking news?
If that's who that guy really is, why do I need him to pretend that he is neutral broadcast voice man?
brian simpson
I don't know where the broadcast voice came from.
Oh, actually, you know what?
I have a theory, and I might be right about this.
I think it came from when microphones weren't as good and you had to enunciate very clearly.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Because when I was in the service, we had to be like, we had to say over the radio, we had to say numbers a certain way, like five was fife.
Like you had to say it like that so that it got through.
joe rogan
Crackles and shit.
brian simpson
So I'm guessing that came from those times when Brock went out.
But I don't know.
joe rogan
It might have also come from the theater where you had to talk really loud because there was people in the back of the room where there was no microphone.
So your earliest performances, like live performances, were theaters probably.
Or when someone was speaking in front of a large group of people.
And when you're speaking in front of a large group of people, you have to talk like this so they can hear you.
brian simpson
Well, I wonder...
I'm sure somebody will hit me up.
Somebody email me and tell me the answer.
jamie vernon
Yeah, recording equipment has something to do with it.
brian simpson
Yeah?
joe rogan
Yes.
brian simpson
What do they still do?
joe rogan
What about the way they used to act in the old, old movies?
Were they overacted?
brian simpson
Oh, that voice was...
So a lot of things we do that don't make sense, it was just, fuck the English.
Yeah, so the reason we spell certain words differently and all that, that was on purpose.
It didn't just happen naturally.
And our old TV voice was a counter to their...
Hello.
Yeah, it was our version of their fucking highfalutin...
What do they call it over there?
unidentified
Posh.
Posh.
brian simpson
Yeah, it was a counter to their poshness.
We had our own posh voice, and it was that fucking...
Early TV voice.
joe rogan
That's interesting.
That kind of makes sense.
brian simpson
Because everyone talked like that back then.
Or they tried to.
joe rogan
Yeah.
And then you've got Australian, which is like a drunk English.
brian simpson
Oh, yeah.
Wasn't you telling me about this?
joe rogan
No.
Someone told me about this and maybe I told you after they told me.
brian simpson
No, no.
joe rogan
Somebody else told me.
brian simpson
No, it was Shane Gillis was telling us.
That's right.
That first it was criminals.
joe rogan
Yeah.
brian simpson
And the babies would see their fathers be drunk.
unidentified
Yeah.
brian simpson
And the baby started talking like their drunk English fathers.
And then that became the Australian accent.
joe rogan
That's hilarious.
brian simpson
Which I'm not sure if he was 100% sure that was it, but that was one of the theories.
But I'm gonna go with that.
joe rogan
Well, it is interesting how accents deviate, right?
It's like, who was the first guy to talk like someone from Boston?
And why did everybody copy that dude?
brian simpson
Yeah.
joe rogan
You know, the pack your fucking car.
Get over here, Brian Simpson.
What the fuck?
brian simpson
It doesn't have to be that far away.
joe rogan
No.
Distinctive Australian accent is the result of a drunken slur caused by the heavy drinking of the early settlers, according to a communications expert from the country.
So it's true.
It's not just about pronunciation, vocal quality, or timbre matters, as does intonation, the way the pitch of the voice rises and falls.
Vocal quality or timbre manners as does intonation.
So that's what it is.
All right, mate.
It's fucking better.
brian simpson
And then New Zealand is right there and it's a completely different...
joe rogan
Totally different.
Well, also, look at the states.
You could drive from one state to another state in the United States and they'd talk differently.
brian simpson
Yeah.
joe rogan
I used to have a joke about it about California.
Like, people make fun of California accent.
I'm like, I'm sorry, we enunciate clearly.
Like, the California accent is talking like you could hear every word.
brian simpson
Oh, right, right.
And even within California.
joe rogan
Well, in California, there's different accents.
There's a lot of people that have kind of like a southern accent as you get into those farmlands and shit.
brian simpson
Oh, yeah.
And then think, you can go from Vermont to Boston to New York to Philly to D.C. to Georgia to Alabama to Florida, and it's all different accents.
You know?
joe rogan
All different.
Well, Florida's a mess, right?
Because you got Florida accents, but like, what percentage of Florida is people that move from the East Coast, from the Upper East Coast?
brian simpson
A lot.
A lot.
joe rogan
More now than ever before.
But even when I lived there, there was a lot of people that came from other places that came to Florida.
People would escape the cold.
brian simpson
My favorite accent is Louisiana.
joe rogan
That's a good accent.
brian simpson
New Orleans.
Oh, yeah.
joe rogan
That's a good accent.
brian simpson
Because every...
It's such a...
It's a lot of flavor.
joe rogan
Jazz.
brian simpson
Yeah, yeah.
Jazz to it.
I like to watch the chefs on social media.
joe rogan
Oh, yeah, man.
brian simpson
Like, go on there and hit it with your seasoning there, now.
joe rogan
Yeah, when they're talking about Cajun cuisine, too.
brian simpson
Yeah.
joe rogan
Oh, those guys.
brian simpson
Or like Punky Johnson.
You know Punky?
joe rogan
Sure, I know Punky.
brian simpson
Yeah, so Punky just...
Her story is incredible, but she from New Orleans is like, the way she talked to you, it just makes you feel good.
joe rogan
Yeah.
We talked about Punky when we were at the O2, remember?
brian simpson
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
I love her.
joe rogan
I love Punky.
I'm so happy for her.
brian simpson
I remember her, so she's on SNL now, but I remember when she first got her big TV thing, and I remember watching her on TV... While she was working the bar underneath.
joe rogan
That's wild.
brian simpson
Yeah.
A lot of people don't realize there's no big break anymore.
It's a bunch of little breaks.
joe rogan
Sometimes you get a big break, but you're better off with little breaks.
brian simpson
Yeah.
joe rogan
Because if you get little breaks, you can handle a big break.
A big break will fuck your head up if it happens all of a sudden.
That's why these 20-year-old stars, good luck.
brian simpson
Yeah, I felt bad for them.
joe rogan
How do you...
Even worse is when they're kids.
That's the worst.
Growing up a star is like a recipe for mental health problems.
brian simpson
It's child abuse.
joe rogan
It's like there's very few, like Jodie Foster.
I never talked to her, but she seems like she's got her shit together.
There's very few people that were very famous.
And Jodie Foster was in fucking Taxi Driver.
Think about that creepy movie, right?
unidentified
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
joe rogan
Think about that creepy movie.
She was sexualized when she was very, very young in that movie.
brian simpson
Or what happened to the kid from...
From The Professional.
joe rogan
Oh, I don't know.
I don't know.
brian simpson
That movie...
joe rogan
That's a heavy fucking movie.
brian simpson
This would be one of my favorite movies, but try to watch it now, and it's like, this is...
joe rogan
Natalie Portman.
brian simpson
Oh, Natalie Portman.
joe rogan
Oh, well.
brian simpson
Yeah.
joe rogan
She's huge.
Yeah, that's right.
That was her.
She was really young then.
What was she...
How old was she then?
Oh, my God.
She's a little kid.
brian simpson
Yeah.
joe rogan
That's a crazy movie.
brian simpson
And she's, like, flirting with him through the whole movie.
joe rogan
Right.
He doesn't flirt back, though, right?
brian simpson
No, no, no, no, no.
joe rogan
That's okay.
My kids are allowed to pretend.
brian simpson
Yeah, but it was like, I think maybe, is it better to be a child star and stay a star or to just do it real quick and leave?
joe rogan
Well, it depends.
If you can do it real quick and then find something else that you really enjoy, that's great.
And then be successful at it, that's great.
But you remember when Gary Coleman was a security guard?
brian simpson
Oh yeah.
joe rogan
He had to get a regular job and people would fuck with him.
He was super duper famous and very recognizable.
brian simpson
Want some coffee?
joe rogan
Or you want some whiskey?
brian simpson
No, no, a little coffee.
I'm gonna do both actually.
You ever watch Game of Thrones?
joe rogan
Yes!
brian simpson
Okay, you know the Joffrey kid?
joe rogan
Yes.
brian simpson
He just dipped out.
joe rogan
Good for him.
brian simpson
After that, he was like, I don't want to do this anymore.
joe rogan
So he's done acting totally?
brian simpson
I... That's the impression I got, but...
joe rogan
Bro, imagine your first role.
You have to play the cunt of all cunts.
brian simpson
Oh, yeah.
joe rogan
And then when you die, you get poisoned.
Everybody's happy.
brian simpson
Dude, and I hate it.
And here's what's so fucked up.
I've read the books.
And I'll never forget being in...
Because you got to understand, too.
In this show, in these books...
There's no justice.
So he's the first motherfucker that you hope died that dies.
Everyone else that died before that, you like them.
You don't want them to die.
But he's the first motherfucker who is like...
So I'm in the middle of an open mic reading these books.
Someone's on stage, and I apologize profusely to this day.
But when he died, I lost my shit.
I was like, yeah!
I'm in the middle of it.
I'm like, yeah!
Die, motherfucker!
joe rogan
Oh, that's so crazy!
brian simpson
I know, man.
I wanted him to die so bad.
So I hated this motherfucker from the beginning.
And he played the role so well, it's hard to...
If I saw him in person...
joe rogan
You would think of him as that guy.
brian simpson
Well, I mean, initially, you know, I mean, obviously...
joe rogan
A little bit.
brian simpson
Yeah, I would try not to treat him that way, but it's still hard.
It's like, nah, motherfucker, your face is associated with evil.
joe rogan
Right.
Well, some guys, they do a role, and that role is them forever.
Like Archie Bunker with Carol O'Connor.
He was Archie Bunker forever.
brian simpson
Yeah, I think what he's gonna do...
joe rogan
That's him now?
jamie vernon
Yeah, he just got married.
joe rogan
That's Joffrey?
jamie vernon
Yeah.
joe rogan
That's Joffrey.
brian simpson
Wow.
See, I think he's gonna come back as an adult.
joe rogan
He looks like a country western star.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
He looks like some cool guy who, like, you know...
Plays country western music with Sturgill Simpson.
Doesn't he?
unidentified
Doesn't he?
jamie vernon
Yeah, for sure.
joe rogan
He totally does.
brian simpson
Like a completely different person.
joe rogan
Good for him.
Good for him.
Stay normal.
Look, he's in church and shit.
I gotta imagine just psychologically being a kid and playing a very, very hated character.
You don't have any bright moments on stage where people like you.
You have nothing to be proud of.
Everything you do is horrible and awful.
brian simpson
That's my dream, though.
joe rogan
Be an evil person?
brian simpson
No, to play one.
joe rogan
In a movie or a TV show?
brian simpson
I want to play a villain in something.
I want to play a villain so bad.
joe rogan
Interesting.
brian simpson
Yeah.
Why is that interesting?
He giving me the judgmental act?
joe rogan
I'm just interested.
What about it is appealing to you?
brian simpson
I think...
Because there's a part of you that wants to...
It's a fantasy.
There's a part of you that wants to play the villain.
When I play RPG video games or whatever, if there's a dark or night side, I always play the dark side.
So maybe there's a part of you that wants to live that fantasy, but I just think I would do better.
I think it's easier to play a bad guy, and I think I would do better at it.
joe rogan
But you're such a nice guy in real life.
brian simpson
I'm kind.
I'm not nice.
I make that distinction too because I have to stop myself from being a piece of shit.
joe rogan
From being mean?
brian simpson
Yeah.
joe rogan
That's a natural inclination, though.
brian simpson
My first thought is to be mean.
joe rogan
Do you know that Jordan Peterson has this whole saying about becoming hyper-competitive, you know, that people think that you should be docile.
And he's like, no, you should be a monster and then learn how to control it.
brian simpson
Yeah, I heard him say that.
I like that.
joe rogan
Yeah, just be ruthlessly ambitious and learn how to rein it in.
And his take on it is...
A strong man is not a dangerous man.
A weak man is a dangerous man because they'll fold on you.
They have no character.
They have no confidence.
And also, them being kind or them being pacifists, they don't have an option.
They can't beat people up.
They can't do anything.
So them being mean, that's not even possible.
Physically, especially.
brian simpson
I have an aversion to Shaky people.
joe rogan
Shaky people are dangerous.
They'll fall apart on you.
brian simpson
Or even people that are...
You know, kind of chaotic, you know, fall apart.
joe rogan
Yeah.
brian simpson
Yeah, it was like, I don't know, because I had such a chaotic upbringing, and it's like, especially men.
When I meet men that are, like, unpredictable, I'm like, I can't fuck with you.
You might be the best guy, you might be a nice guy, but, like, I need distance from you, because there's no telling what you're going to do.
joe rogan
Right.
brian simpson
Yeah, you're going to fold.
joe rogan
Right.
brian simpson
Yeah, for sure.
Because I get what he's saying.
It's like, if you're nice because you're weak, you're just being nice because you don't have a choice.
Right.
Somebody that could destroy you that chooses not to is more impressive than somebody that isn't doing harm because they can't.
joe rogan
Yeah, it's strength through kindness.
Kindness through strength, rather.
You choose to be nice.
You choose to be the person who takes the high road and things.
Because you can go either way.
That's why when you see very famous people going after other famous people or going after someone who's not famous, it's always very distasteful.
Because this person is in this unusual position of strength and they don't use it the right way.
There's like a different obligation you have if you're in an unusual position of strength than a person who's just weak.
brian simpson
See, my first instinct is to always be suspicious of those people.
joe rogan
Weak people or strong people?
brian simpson
People that are trying to destroy people.
That's their whole thing.
Their whole life is trying to destroy people.
I'm always suspicious because they always turn out.
joe rogan
To be a piece of shit.
brian simpson
Right.
joe rogan
For sure.
They just want to hurt people.
If that's where you put your resources in, is destroying other people, imagine you have so little time in this life.
brian simpson
You know how every time there's a politician whose whole thing is they hate gays, and they always turn out to be gay.
But people forget that applies to everything.
If you're vehemently, if your whole personality is that you're against something, That's always suspicious to me.
And it doesn't always turn out to be the case.
joe rogan
Right, but it's very often the case.
unidentified
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
joe rogan
Yeah.
That's like the male feminist that's secretly a piece of shit.
brian simpson
Oh, yeah.
joe rogan
There's a lot of those guys.
The gender traitor male feminists who just want to shoot down other men to make themselves look better.
There's a lot of that.
And there's women that do that, too.
It's a human inclination to try to diminish other people.
To, at least in appearance, advance yourself.
You know, but it doesn't really work.
It's one of those things like name-dropping.
Like, name-dropping doesn't work.
Like, yeah, we're hanging out with Leonardo DiCaprio and Quentin Tarantino.
Shut the fuck up.
Nobody wants to hear that.
You know, like, you could tell a story...
If it's a great story, they're like, dude, I'm hanging out with Gary Clark Jr., and we're getting high.
Like, that's a great story.
It's not even a name drop.
It's just a factual story, right?
But if you're telling people, these people that you know, you're dropping names to try to elevate you socially, it has the opposite effect.
brian simpson
It's weird.
joe rogan
It has the opposite effect, because whoever those people are, you're trying to connect yourself to a bad motherfucker.
But the way you're doing it lets everyone know you're not a bad motherfucker, nor do you have the character to become one.
brian simpson
Right.
It's one step down from like, do you know who my father is?
joe rogan
It's right there.
brian simpson
Yeah.
joe rogan
It's kind of the same thing.
Or do you know who I am?
brian simpson
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
joe rogan
Same thing.
Which I think in certain situations, like if someone tries to pick a fight with Hoist Gracie, it might be justified.
brian simpson
Right.
joe rogan
He goes, excuse me.
Do you know who I am?
brian simpson
Or like if you're about to go on stage at the O2 arena and somebody stops you right before you walk on stage?
joe rogan
What happened to you?
They just didn't...
First of all, they were English folks.
They probably don't know too much about Americans.
Americans stand up or...
They probably didn't even know who the fuck I was.
brian simpson
The guy did apologize to me, but I'm never going to stop being so mad.
joe rogan
Dude, the lady checked my shit.
I was trying to go to the bathroom.
Do you have a pass?
I go, I'm Joe Rogan.
unidentified
Right, right.
joe rogan
This place is sold out.
unidentified
You see how that whole wall has my face on it?
joe rogan
Yeah, that's this.
Hey, that wall.
brian simpson
It's like, come on, lady.
joe rogan
I gotta take a shit.
brian simpson
Let me through.
Well, you know what it is?
For some people, it's just an honest mistake or whatever.
joe rogan
Yeah, it was an honest mistake with her.
brian simpson
Or they really don't know who you are or whatever.
But some people...
And this is part of the reason that turned me off from the services.
Like, some people, they use the rules as a shield.
Yes.
Because it's one thing, like, okay, it's my show at the arena.
My picture's everywhere.
I walk up on you.
You notice me.
You don't recognize me.
You can't see the picture.
And then I go, hey...
I'm this person.
It's my show.
Now, from that point forward, if you continue to go, yeah, but now you're just an idiot that's hiding behind the rules because you know that even though what you're doing doesn't make any sense...
You're protected because you followed the rules.
joe rogan
Well, it is also a thing when people have power over you, they don't want to relinquish it.
Even if they just have a little bit of power to keep you from going through somewhere.
They've already committed to this idea.
They're going to stop you from doing something.
You know the Stanford prison experiment?
brian simpson
I'm...
Somewhat familiar with it, but yeah.
joe rogan
I don't know.
I think it's been questioned recently.
So I think there's some doubt about whether or not it made sense the way they did or whether people played it up.
But what happened was they got these students to pretend to be prison guards and prisoners.
And they ran this experiment where the prisoners were, you know, they had to listen to the guards and everybody immediately became a cunt.
Treated people like dog shit.
And they stopped the experiment early.
brian simpson
What was the pushback on that?
joe rogan
See if we can find it.
brian simpson
They did a movie about it, right?
Or a documentary about it.
joe rogan
I think there's a thing that people do when they have the ability.
It's like a natural inclination.
People have been in control of people for so long, whether it's a dictator that controls the population or a general that controls the army or a plantation owner that controls the slaves.
There's always been people controlling people forever.
brian simpson
And you know what they would do?
They would give one of the slaves A gun.
unidentified
Oh, shit.
brian simpson
And have him be the overseer.
You know what I mean?
And then now you have power.
It's like, you have a gun now.
But now you have power over everyone else.
joe rogan
Overseer.
Isn't that in KRS-One, The Sound of the Police?
brian simpson
Oh, probably, yeah.
That song.
joe rogan
I was in Brazil in 2003 for the Abu Dhabi World Championships.
brian simpson
For kickboxing?
joe rogan
No, Abu Dhabi World Championships for Jiu Jitsu.
Eddie Bravo was over there competing.
That was the year that he tapped out Hoyler Gracie.
It was the craziest upset ever.
It was insane.
brian simpson
Insane.
joe rogan
In Brazil.
brian simpson
Is that what blew him up?
joe rogan
100%, man.
He wasn't even a black belt yet.
Eddie was a brown belt.
brian simpson
And he tapped out Hoyce Gracie?
joe rogan
Hoyler.
brian simpson
Oh, Hoyler Gracie.
joe rogan
Hoyler, who was Hoyce's brother, who was more successful even than Hoyce in jiu-jitsu tournaments.
He's like one of the greatest Gracies of all time in terms of his accomplishments in winning world jiu-jitsu tournaments.
He was the man.
brian simpson
What did he tap him with?
joe rogan
A triangle off his back.
It was amazing.
It was amazing.
When he locked it in, he went for an omoplata.
Hoyler defended the omoplata and exposed his side.
And Eddie had, like we were talking about legs that can move like hands.
That's Eddie's legs.
He has crazy leg dexterity.
He can do a lotus position.
He can just put himself in a lotus position.
B.J. Penn can do that, too.
brian simpson
Really?
joe rogan
They don't have to use their hands.
Like, Eddie Bravo can put his legs behind his head.
He has crazy flexibility in leg dexterity.
It's very surprising.
So if you're in his guard, you're fucked.
And Hoyler didn't know it.
And he was in Eddie's guard, and Eddie just slapped that triangle on him, and then started pulling the head, and then Hoyler tapped, and it was insane.
I was crying.
brian simpson
Oh, man.
Yeah, I can't imagine.
unidentified
Shit.
joe rogan
I'll cry right now.
brian simpson
Did he even know?
Did he think he was gonna win?
joe rogan
He had already beat Gustavo Dantes, who was also a world champion.
He tapped him before that.
That was his first match.
He got his back and tapped him.
And then he had this big match with Hoyler and they shut off all the other matches and put all the cameras on this one thing.
brian simpson
So this footage?
unidentified
Yes!
brian simpson
Oh, I want to see it.
joe rogan
Yes, you want to see it?
brian simpson
Yeah.
joe rogan
It's one of the greatest experiences of my life.
I get emotional right now.
brian simpson
Yeah, because I can't even imagine.
See, that's real love for your homie.
For you to get that emotional because he won?
joe rogan
It changed his life.
brian simpson
Yeah, man.
joe rogan
Because he was always this super talented guy.
And he and I would talk about it.
He would talk about all these jujitsu wizards and all these people that were super talented.
I'd go, dude, you're a fucking wizard.
I'm like, you're really fucking good.
Like, really good.
And he didn't want to kind of believe it.
For some strange reason.
He was very humble about his jiu-jitsu.
He knew he was pretty good.
And then he started winning tournaments.
And he won the Abu Dhabi's and then the West Coast trials.
And so he made it to Brazil.
And so this is him against Hoyler Gracie, who is the fucking man.
And Hoyler's on top of him, right?
Now, Hoyler has gotten to side control, but Eddie does this thing called the jailbreak.
Look how he retains guard.
It's the brilliant use of his legs, because again, he has this insane leg dexterity.
So here, Hoyler is defending, and then he catches him.
See that?
Because Eddie had his wrist, and it looked like he was trying to set up an omoplata, and then he locks him up in a fucking triangle.
And look at him squeezing.
Hoyler is fucked.
And he's trying to get out here.
But Eddie's...
This is just death.
And then Eddie finally grabs the head.
And when he grabs the head with the squeeze, Hoyler's tapping.
And that's it.
And so Eddie walks up, and this is what he said.
He said he couldn't believe it, but he walked around with his arms up in the air like he knew it was going to happen.
But while he was walking around, like he...
He did a play-by-play of it on my podcast.
And while he was walking around, he's like, I can't believe it.
I can't believe it.
And Hoyler hugs him.
And then he looks at me and he goes like this.
Like, huh.
It was one of the craziest things I've ever seen in my life.
Because for him to go there, he was such an underdog.
And he had this very strange style of jujitsu that really he formulated.
He came up with, it's not like he invented submissions, but he came up with new ways to set things up that were completely unique to him and his system.
And that's how he created 10th Planet Jiu Jitsu.
It's a very well thought out, really effective system, especially if you have leg dexterity.
That's me and him.
unidentified
We're hugging.
brian simpson
Holy shit, man.
joe rogan
He's crying on my shoulders.
brian simpson
There are few things better than watching somebody triumph.
joe rogan
It's amazing.
brian simpson
Goddamn.
joe rogan
It was crazy, because you couldn't believe it.
You couldn't believe it happened.
unidentified
When you're broken up, you know for a second.
You wanna...
I'm pretty spat in emotional, physical...
joe rogan
Oh, that's him talking about it, yeah.
Going over it.
So that was the birth of 10th Planet Jiu Jitsu.
And then he came back.
John-Jacques Machado gave him his black belt.
John-Jacques took his black belt off.
brian simpson
After this match?
joe rogan
After that match.
And put it on Eddie.
brian simpson
Whoa.
joe rogan
Yeah.
unidentified
Goddamn!
joe rogan
It was wild, man.
It was wild.
So then Eddie started 10th Planet Jiu Jitsu shortly afterwards.
brian simpson
Does he say that's the best day of his life?
joe rogan
It was one of the best days of his life.
One of the best days of my life.
It was amazing.
And then he came back.
I think he was going to call it like Sumerian Jiu-Jitsu or something like that.
I forget because the joke was like back then Eddie and I would smoke a lot of weed and we would watch documentaries.
And we would watch the big one was we were really into Zachariah Sitchin.
Zachariah Sitchin, he was a linguist and a biblical scholar, and he had this belief that if you decoded the Sumerian text, he's like, the Sumerian text in his interpretation...
Described a planet that came in an elliptical orbit every 3,600 years close to Earth, and that this planet was called Nibiru, and that these creatures on this planet are called the Anunnaki.
And that human beings were the product of accelerated evolution.
So the Anunnaki came down here when we were basically lower primates in the jungle and they experimented with our DNA and turned us into what we are now.
And there's all these depictions of these gigantic beings and one of them has it on his lap.
It's like a human but with a monkey's tail.
And he believes that that is like pointing to this link and that there's a detailed map of the solar system, which how the fuck did they know that, right?
6,000 years ago?
How did they know that?
But it had the sun in the center and it has all the planets in the correct orbit, like where they are.
And they're not the exact right size, but obviously Jupiter's fucking massive and Earth is small in comparison.
But the bigger ones are in the right place.
brian simpson
So that's why he called it 10th planet.
joe rogan
So I came up with 10th Planet.
That was my name.
brian simpson
Was he pissed?
joe rogan
I was like, Sumerian Jiu-Jitsu?
No one's gonna know what that means, man.
I go, just call it 10th Planet Jiu-Jitsu.
Like, this shit is so crazy.
It's from over there.
brian simpson
Was he pissed when Pluto got demoted?
joe rogan
No, we never counted that.
brian simpson
Oh, okay.
joe rogan
When Pluto got demoted, like, says you.
Says you.
I grew up, it was a fucking planet.
Fuck you.
It's got a name, bitch.
That's a planet.
I think the problem is Pluto is so small.
I think Pluto is smaller than the moon, which is weird.
Oh, by the way, the Sumerians counted the moon as a planet, I believe.
brian simpson
Oh, okay.
joe rogan
Because they called Nibiru the 12th planet.
brian simpson
Okay.
joe rogan
We came up with 10th Planet Jiu Jitsu.
It was just Eddie and I getting high, brainstorming.
Names for the Academy.
brian simpson
Because I think Pluto doesn't clear its orbit, is what they say.
joe rogan
Oh.
brian simpson
It's not the biggest...
So basically, the biggest thing in that plane...
Basically moves everything out of the way.
joe rogan
Pluto's about two-thirds the diameter of Earth's moon.
brian simpson
Wow, smaller than the moon.
joe rogan
Probably has a rocky core surrounded by a mantle of water ice.
Interesting ices like methane and nitrogen frost coat the surface.
Due to its lower density, Pluto's mass is about one-sixth of Earth's moon.
Whoa, you could fly on Pluto, just jump through the air.
Just like Superman.
That's the idea about Superman.
He came from an environment that's so dense that when he comes to Earth, he can just fly.
brian simpson
You just jump?
joe rogan
Yeah, but the problem with that is, like, biologically, we know that what happens to people when they're in zero gravity is their bodies deteriorate, like, very rapidly.
Your bone density deteriorates very rapidly.
Like, those guys that go up there for, like, six months, when they come down here, they're fucked up, man.
They can barely walk.
brian simpson
That's one of those people that volunteer to be the first ones to go to Mars.
It's like, y'all are dying.
joe rogan
That Commander Chris Hadfield, we had him on the show.
jamie vernon
I said, dear moon crow, I was telling you about the other day.
These guys are all going to take a trip around the moon.
joe rogan
When is that happening?
jamie vernon
Before the end of the year is supposed to right now.
Other things could stop that from happening.
joe rogan
But shouldn't they, like, send a chicken out there first?
I mean, I know that they lied about the CIA killing Kennedy.
Are we sure they told the truth about everything back then?
unidentified
Yeah.
brian simpson
I mean, do so many things that didn't go wrong.
joe rogan
So many things that didn't go wrong.
Steve Aoki, don't do it, Steve!
Steve, I love you.
Don't do it.
brian simpson
Steve Aoki's a musician, right?
jamie vernon
Yes!
He's fucking cool as shit.
All these people are creators and people that do stuff.
brian simpson
Oh, you mean none of them are astronauts?
joe rogan
Steve, catch the flu.
Don't do it.
brian simpson
So this isn't the whole crew.
jamie vernon
No, this isn't.
They're flying in the SpaceX autonomous dragon capsule.
brian simpson
Oh, hell no.
joe rogan
This is a goddamn science fiction movie gone awry.
They're going to be on a planet fighting off dinosaurs.
jamie vernon
It's fine.
joe rogan
Oh, have you seen that ad for that new movie with Adam Driver?
brian simpson
Oh, yeah, yeah.
joe rogan
It looks dope as fuck.
brian simpson
Yeah, I was like, this is like dark.
joe rogan
They go back 65 million years ago with modern weapons from the future.
What's the matter?
brian simpson
But when does it come out though?
joe rogan
Oh, I thought you just screamed like someone bit you.
brian simpson
Oh yeah, here it is.
joe rogan
Look at this.
brian simpson
Yeah, I'm excited about this.
joe rogan
This looks exciting.
unidentified
This is Commander Mills.
My ship was hit by an undocumented asteroid.
Transporting 35 passengers on a long-range exploratory mission.
Send help.
jamie vernon
I almost want to stop now.
It looks too good.
Dude, it's good.
joe rogan
No, no, no.
You need to see some of this.
They did a great job.
No, they did a great job with this.
You already know it's dinosaurs, bitch.
I ruined it.
Already ruined it I've located one survivor a child Sam Raimi so you know it's gonna be really good the atmosphere is breathable There's something alien up there These dinosaur footprints, oh shit!
Yeah, see they just give you a little touch here and there.
jamie vernon
65. That's good.
joe rogan
65 million years ago.
brian simpson
Oh, the name of the movie 65?
joe rogan
Yeah.
Because it's about the age of the dinosaurs.
It goes back in time somehow.
It winds up on Earth 65 million years ago.
unidentified
Oh, hey.
brian simpson
That's a great trailer, though, damn it.
jamie vernon
There's another good trailer I just saw, too.
I'm not going to play it now, but the Oppenheimer trailer for Christopher Nolan's movie looked really fucking sweet.
joe rogan
Yeah, that's Christopher Nolan.
Another guy who makes amazing movies.
brian simpson
The one thing that bothers me about when they do asteroids in movies, asteroid fields, they make it seem like there's no way you would come close to an asteroid and just be surrounded by a whole bunch of other ones.
They're so far apart.
The way they always show them in movies is completely wrong.
unidentified
Yeah!
joe rogan
I never even thought of that.
brian simpson
Yeah, there's no way you would have to, like, dodge between...
joe rogan
But that's all the great Star Wars scenes.
brian simpson
Right, I know.
It makes for better action, but it's just...
It's so inaccurate.
And it bothers me because I know.
I wish I didn't.
joe rogan
Too late.
brian simpson
Yeah, ignorance is bliss.
joe rogan
It's like, you ever heard Neil deGrasse Tyson break down the movie Gravity?
brian simpson
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
joe rogan
He's like, her hair would not be like this.
And everybody's like, stop!
Right, right.
Space stations are not that close to each other.
unidentified
Stop!
brian simpson
It's right.
It's like, let's talk about it after the movie.
joe rogan
Yeah, you're going to ruin this shit.
Imagine watching a movie like that with him.
brian simpson
Oh, yeah, you can tell.
joe rogan
This is not possible.
brian simpson
He probably loses his mind in Lord of the Rings.
He's like, magic is not real.
Hey, Neil.
joe rogan
He goes so far with his skepticism, though, that he's not open-minded to the possibilities that alien life has visited Earth.
I'm not saying that it has, but he said, what is so interesting about us?
We had an argument about it.
One of the rare times I've ever disagreed with him.
I'm like, we are so insane.
We have nuclear weapons.
We shoot video through the sky.
We'll go to South America to study a rare frog, right?
They'll spend hundreds of thousands of dollars on these expeditions to find these little deer that people can't see in Vietnam.
Are they still alive?
They've done that before.
You don't think that a curious alien would want to look at a species that's on the verge of changing what type of civilization it is?
They're becoming integrated with technology and computers.
Artificial intelligence is ready to emerge.
Gene editing is a real thing that's being practiced right now and in levels that we probably aren't even aware of.
We know that one story because one guy got busted and he went to jail, but we know they did it.
So how many of them did they do that they didn't tell us about?
Maybe they decided it'd be better if we just shut the fuck up.
brian simpson
See, I feel like every time I'm on here, we talk about the Fermi Paradox because that's really what it boils down to.
joe rogan
It doesn't necessarily.
brian simpson
No?
joe rogan
No, because we don't have the ability to see these places.
We really don't have detailed imagery of any other planet.
We have very rough estimations of the temperatures.
I shouldn't even say rough.
I should say they're not precise, right?
So we don't know exactly what it's like there.
We don't know if there's life there.
We don't know what kind of life that would be, like a life that could breathe a completely different environment, a different kind of air than we breathe with different levels of gases.
brian simpson
It's impossible.
joe rogan
If things breathe underwater...
brian simpson
The only example we have is Earth.
joe rogan
But even on Earth, we have so many variables.
Things breathe under fucking water, man.
I mean, we drown in there, they die up here.
Like, fish, that's nuts.
brian simpson
There's a live shit everywhere.
Even places where you would think shit would be...
They found life around those...
joe rogan
Volcanic vents.
brian simpson
Those vents on the ocean floor, like acidic, like nothing should be able to be alive there.
joe rogan
And it's like a thousand degrees is coming out of there.
brian simpson
Yeah, but also, I think if aliens...
Because mathematically, they definitely...
Exist at least it seems like Highly likely that some life is out there right highly likely but but if I Feel like a species that was sufficiently advanced to be curious about us in study We wouldn't be able to tell that they were here.
joe rogan
That's true, too Because unless they wanted us to know they were here or unless they are not quite as advanced like if there is an infinite like universe that we're dealing with and there's Planets where life forms could have developed in a much more stable environment where they don't get hit by asteroids, and they get to not just like where we are, which is like a million years of evolution from the lower primates, but like 300 million years.
Like what if they just stay alive?
And they just continue to advance to the point where they're literally like gods.
They can travel through black holes.
They can transcend space and time.
They can instantaneously appear in any spot in the universe they want to.
The question would be like, would they want us to know about them yet?
brian simpson
See, or even crazier than that, I remember when we were in London, I was talking to Graham.
joe rogan
Graham Hancock.
brian simpson
Yeah, Graham Hancock.
joe rogan
How great was that dinner?
brian simpson
Oh, it was awesome.
joe rogan
Graham Hancock and Guy Ritchie.
brian simpson
Yeah, because I remember when he first started telling me about his theory, it was almost like he expected me to be like, shut your stupid ass.
Like, he expected me to react completely negatively.
And he was shocked that I was, like, listening.
And I'm like, no, I'm...
I want to hear what you got to say.
I don't know shit.
joe rogan
Well, his theory is based on asteroid impacts.
brian simpson
Yeah, well, he's...
joe rogan
His combined with Randall Carlson's.
brian simpson
Yeah, he thinks that there may have already been a more developed human species that got wiped out, and they could have sent someone to another place.
joe rogan
It's totally possible that anyone who can build the pyramids could build anything.
Right.
If you can make that, we would struggle to make the pyramids today.
And I know people love to say, oh, human beings could do it.
Sure, we could do it.
But you have to realize there's 2 million, I think it's 2,300,000 stones in the Great Pyramid of Egypt.
And some of them are cut from a quarry that's hundreds of miles away.
And these are massive, massive stones that were cut with such precision that in many cases when you're inside the pyramids before, like on the outside everything's fucked up because it used to be covered in limestone.
But people looted it and they broke off the limestone, they built cities with it and shit.
Horrible.
They built a lot of like Cairo, apparently, the early days.
People stole limestone from the Great Pyramids.
That's how goofy people are.
So that's all rough and fucked up on the outside, but it didn't used to be like that.
It used to be flat and smooth to the point where it was probably polished and reflective.
Like they don't know exactly what it looked like, but they know that the precision inside, in some of the areas like where you look at the stones, you can't even get a razor blade in between those rocks.
And these are massive stones.
And the amount of calculations that are involved, the amount of precision that has to be involved, and to take this design where you're stacking stones, you can't have any errors.
When you get to the top, you have so many stones.
A millimeter here, a millimeter there.
You get to the top, you're all fucked up.
brian simpson
Do you think that Neil's skepticism comes from...
Because the other side of it is the speed of light.
Because that's the big, huge barrier, right?
For us to be visited by an alien species, they would have had to have figured out a way...
To get around that.
Either to go faster than the speed of light or to have some kind of workaround like warp bubbles or whatever the fuck.
joe rogan
I think that's more likely it.
I think the way we're thinking about it is very archaic.
The fire comes out the back.
I think we're thinking about it like a catapult.
You know, like back when they had a catapult, like this is a shit, bro.
I got the new catapult.
It's like the staccato 390 catapult with the fucking cut the ropes and that fucking rock goes flying.
That was as good as anybody.
No one ever thought like missiles would come out of jets.
You have a hypersonic jet, it's shooting fucking missiles.
brian simpson
Well, that's the thing.
You talk to futurists and they're always wrong.
joe rogan
Yeah, you can't be right.
You have rough estimates and guesses.
brian simpson
Talk about futurists in the 20s.
joe rogan
Oh, yeah.
brian simpson
Didn't picture airplanes.
They thought everyone would have a blimp.
Like, everyone will have a personal blimp.
That's what they thought.
joe rogan
Dude, I had a dream about that once.
I had a dream.
A world.
I can't remember if it was a thousand or a million Nikola Tesla's.
Think about what that guy was able to create and the ideas that he came up with by himself.
And imagine if there was a million of those guys.
brian simpson
A million?
joe rogan
A million Nikolai Teslas.
A million insane geniuses that create transcendent technology that we enjoy today.
I mean, he was trying to broadcast electricity through the air and wanted to give it to people for free.
brian simpson
But think about how, you know, there's an old, I think, Voltaire quote where he says, something to the effect of, like, I'm less impressed with Einstein's brain than the near certainty that, you know, people just as intelligent are dying in sweatshops and slave fields and shit.
It's like, imagine if, because all the geniuses we got...
It was luck of the draw.
We got Nikola Tesla at the right time, with the right family, with the right money, with the right education.
Sir Isaac Newton, he was born a rich kid.
If he had been born a serf, we'd be 100 years behind.
joe rogan
That's probably totally true, what you're saying.
brian simpson
If I ever had Elon money, like fuck you money, I would start a foundation that went around the world Trying to find those fucking kids.
Go pull the smartest motherfuckers.
joe rogan
How about, better yet, create them.
Oh shit, with Crispin?
Not just that, but also with education.
A lot of it is access to things.
Like if you read Malcolm Gladwell's The Outliers.
One of the things that he'll talk about with certain incredible success stories is the access that they had to all these different things that could help them.
Like Bill Gates, he had access to the computers at the university when he was a kid and learned how to code very early on.
He was involved in it super early on.
brian simpson
I hate all these motherfuckers that act like...
All of these tech people try to act like, oh, we started in the garage.
And they failed to mention their garage was attached to a mansion.
joe rogan
Yeah, but it's still impressive.
If you think of what Apple is, it actually did start in a garage.
Like Amazon, you ever seen the desk that Jeff Bezos used to have?
brian simpson
Oh, yeah, yeah, and he had Amazon written on white paper.
joe rogan
Yeah, it was like one of them vinyl signs.
brian simpson
Yeah, but you know what?
His parents still loaned him like a quarter million dollars.
That's true.
Is that true?
Yeah!
joe rogan
Quarter million?
brian simpson
I don't know exactly how much it was, but it was that or over.
joe rogan
That's the Trump story, too.
brian simpson
Yeah.
joe rogan
He got loaned millions of dollars by his dad.
brian simpson
And that's what I mean.
It's like, access to the resources to...
joe rogan
Yeah, look at that.
Ultimately loaned him $245,000 in 1995. By 2020, Bezos had transformed this into one trillion.
Dude, the investment...
brian simpson
Wow.
That ain't bad.
joe rogan
It's a good return.
brian simpson
But you know what I was talking about just the other day?
You know what makes me feel sorry, though, for billionaires like him?
Is they can't really complain.
They can't really complain.
You know, it's like when we flew to London, I called my mother and complained.
And she was like...
What?
You know, it's like you can't complain to people that have less than you, so you can only...
That's true.
It's fucked up that him and Elon got beef because they really the only two...
Obviously, you can complain to your therapist or you can call, but somebody that really gets it, who the fuck else gets what it's like to be a trillionaire?
joe rogan
Why do they have beef?
What is the reason?
brian simpson
I think it's just competition.
Like you said, they're competitive, ruthless motherfuckers.
And Bezos went to space first.
I really think that's what it is.
I mean, I would love to ask one of them, but I think...
joe rogan
I would think that you'd be encouraging as many people as possible to develop space travel, especially like billionaires.
brian simpson
Or imagine if you're the richest man in the world and you wake up tomorrow and there's somebody else.
joe rogan
Maybe it's like a premise thing.
Like if you do a bit on a certain premise and then someone else is doing a bit on that premise, you're like, motherfucker.
brian simpson
Sometimes it just gets creative.
Like I remember hearing a long time ago, like when TikTok first started getting popular, like the number one girl on TikTok is like...
And she woke up one day, she was number two.
She hated that bitch.
I think it's just that competitive part of you that's just like, you don't really hate the person, but you see them as your opponent.
joe rogan
Right, right, right.
brian simpson
But I don't know, but it's weird that they've never had dinner together.
Because who else are you going to talk to?
Maybe a Saudi prince?
joe rogan
Right.
brian simpson
Who the fuck else are you going to complain to about billionaire problems?
joe rogan
Right.
And the Saudi prince thing, remember when they hacked his phone?
brian simpson
Oh yeah!
joe rogan
Yeah, they use that Pegasus software on his phone.
He opened up a WhatsApp link.
brian simpson
Yeah, that's dumb.
joe rogan
That's crazy.
brian simpson
Yeah, yeah, that's dumb.
Why would you click on a WhatsApp link?
joe rogan
You don't know.
It's from your friend.
Your friend the billionaire.
brian simpson
Yeah, who knows?
Who knows what goes down?
But also, why would they need to...
joe rogan
It's Game of Thrones, bro.
brian simpson
It really is.
joe rogan
They're playing Game of Thrones, but they're doing it a different way.
brian simpson
I know that when you get to that point, it's not even about the money anymore.
You know, it's about winning.
Like, I don't think Jeff Bezos is checking his balance.
joe rogan
How could he?
Probably fluctuates by a billion dollars every now and again.
brian simpson
Yeah, yeah.
unidentified
Doesn't it?
joe rogan
Like, they always say, they lost 11 billion in this thing.
Like, what?
brian simpson
Yeah.
Or you hear, like, Amazon's stock price lost the most money in American history.
Like, it don't seem to be affecting him at all.
joe rogan
No.
He's on a level, but also probably...
But he's retired.
brian simpson
He's not the CEO of Amazon anymore?
unidentified
No.
brian simpson
So he just has the stock?
joe rogan
He's just balling on the yacht.
brian simpson
So why not just sell all the stock?
joe rogan
I don't know what he's doing, man.
Maybe that's part of the agreement, like you can't sell the stock.
brian simpson
That's the thing.
But what do you do when you can do anything?
joe rogan
You do what he does.
brian simpson
You just chill on the yacht?
joe rogan
Do testosterone, start lifting weights, get a yacht, become a baller.
brian simpson
Yeah, I mean, his yacht's pretty impressive.
They just put out a picture of his yacht the other day.
joe rogan
It's ridiculous.
brian simpson
It looks like a small city.
joe rogan
It's ridiculous.
Elon Musk doesn't even own a house.
brian simpson
What?
joe rogan
Yeah, he just borrows people's houses.
brian simpson
Really?
joe rogan
Yeah.
brian simpson
What's the...
joe rogan
He says it's an attack vector.
So when people talk shit about him being rich, like, I don't even own a house.
He doesn't.
He's got all that money, but he's like, your possessions, like your extravagant possessions that people look at, those are attack vectors.
He's just brilliant.
It's very smart.
brian simpson
Oh, so people attack you because you have them?
joe rogan
Yeah, well that's a, like, they point to that.
Like, people are pointing to Jeff Bezos' yacht.
We know he has What does he have, like 100 and...
jamie vernon
Did you know he's one of the first shareholders in Google?
unidentified
Kapow!
brian simpson
Jeff Bezos?
jamie vernon
250K invested in 1998. Kapow!
joe rogan
How about that?
jamie vernon
3.3 million shares in Google stock.
joe rogan
Oh my goodness.
Worth 3.1 billion in 2017. Oh my goodness, that's a nice return on your investment.
brian simpson
Elon or Bezos?
joe rogan
$245,000.
What was the initial investment?
jamie vernon
250k in 1998. He just took his parents' money and put it in there.
brian simpson
I feel like people are attacking him anyway.
People don't like you anyway.
Just go buy some shit.
joe rogan
Well, they're definitely still attacking Elon, right?
But what he says is that a house is an attack vector, meaning that's something that people point to.
brian simpson
If I had Elon money and somebody attacked me on Twitter, I would show up at their house and give them $100,000 and be like, go back on Twitter and say something nice.
joe rogan
Well, you'd be doing that all day long for the rest of your life.
And that's how you'd starve to death.
You'd never have time for anything else.
brian simpson
Did everybody would be lining up to curse you out?
joe rogan
You'd be exhausted.
And people would get mad.
Like, $100,000 only takes you so far.
I'm back.
I'm back on the Elon-hating train.
brian simpson
No, he just banned the guy.
You know, there was a Twitter account called, like, Elon's Jet?
joe rogan
Yeah.
brian simpson
And the guy was telling people when his jet was taking off and landing, which is a little creepy.
joe rogan
How is he getting the information?
It's probably available.
I think it's more complicated than that.
I think you have to take data from multiple different places.
What he's doing is putting all that data together.
Is that fair to say?
Is that accurate, Jamie?
jamie vernon
It says ADS-B data, which is probably available records.
But then you've got to put it together and find probably tail numbers and stuff.
And then he's the one saying, this is him, too.
brian simpson
Yeah, I think he's putting it together from publicly available information, but it's still a little creepy.
unidentified
Why?
joe rogan
What is the point?
brian simpson
I don't know.
joe rogan
He said he started to do it because he was a fan of Elon's.
And then he wanted $50,000.
brian simpson
And then Elon offered him money to stop or offered him a job to stop.
joe rogan
I don't know what happened with that.
I don't know what the exact specifics were.
But there was some sort of discussion about Elon giving him money or something like that.
brian simpson
The thing is, he says it's a safety issue.
And I feel like if the richest man in the world is telling you, hey man, what you doing making me feel unsafe?
And I need you to stop.
And here's some money.
I think you gotta take that deal.
Because...
jamie vernon
He offered 5k and then...
brian simpson
Oh, that's not enough.
jamie vernon
...countered off the guy who runs the account asked for 50k saying he'd use the money for college and to possibly buy a Tesla Model 3. And that was, I guess, their last public exchange, maybe.
brian simpson
Oh, wow.
joe rogan
That's not a bad...
Look, that kid saying that, like, that's a good deal.
jamie vernon
He said he was a high school senior when it started, then he kept it going during the pandemic.
brian simpson
Yeah, 5k's not enough.
June 2020. Elon, you gotta make an offer they can't refuse.
joe rogan
But here's the problem.
How does this prevent other people from doing the exact same thing and doing the same thing and trying to get more money?
Like, when does that end?
Is that an industry now?
Tracking Elon's jet?
brian simpson
Well, that's also why I think it was a mistake to go public with it.
Because the DMs weren't public until he made them public.
Until the guy running the account made it public.
joe rogan
But is it a mistake for him?
Because it's getting him a lot of attention.
People are paying attention to it.
He might be able to monetize it.
It's weird, though.
It's definitely weird.
And I would not like it at all.
I don't think it's a nice thing to do.
brian simpson
He got more screwballs than me.
Because if I had a trillion dollars, I had somebody knocking on your door.
Hey, listen, you want to make me uncomfortable?
I'm going to make your whole family uncomfortable.
We're not going to hurt you, but we're going to make you uncomfortable.
If you won't stop doing this, I already offered to pay you, then I want revenge.
I'm petty like that.
And that's probably not the smart move.
joe rogan
What are you allowed to do?
Do you think you're allowed to film someone and put them, every time they're out in public, put it on a website and tell everybody where they are?
You know?
Because he could hire someone to do that.
brian simpson
That could be stalking.
joe rogan
Is that stalking?
brian simpson
I think it depends on how you gather the information.
joe rogan
What if you just track that guy's car?
Say, I'm tracking his car.
Let's see what kind of carbon emissions this guy puts out.
brian simpson
Yeah, yeah.
joe rogan
I'll track his cars.
I'll track all his Ubers.
We'll measure up.
Because, like, you're not carbon neutral if you're riding in an Uber.
brian simpson
You get real petty.
joe rogan
You're riding in someone else's car.
brian simpson
Real petty like that.
joe rogan
You get real petty.
If you decided to do that and decided to say, like, are you doing it because you think, like, you want to shame me for flying a private jet?
Because that's the thing that a lot of people do.
Like, Taylor Swift and all these people that talk about climate change.
Like, look what you're doing, Leonardo DiCaprio.
You're flying around a private jet.
brian simpson
Taylor Swift doesn't fly on a private jet?
joe rogan
Of course she does.
Of course she does, but they give her a hard time about it.
They give everybody a hard time about it.
The Kardashians, they give them a hard time about it.
They take so many trips and they could have driven there, it would have only taken 18 hours.
People get crazy.
unidentified
I think one of them was like they wanted her to drive four hours.
joe rogan
She's not driving four hours.
Get it out of your head.
brian simpson
Also, dude, a lot of people don't realize too, when you reach a certain level of celebrity, You can't travel regular.
You just can't do it.
Because people will swarm you, they mob you, they stalk you, they slip shit to you.
Maybe flying private isn't...
You definitely can't go to the airport.
joe rogan
Bill Gates can't sit in first class.
brian simpson
Exactly!
joe rogan
Too many people would tell him, you put a microchip in my brain!
brian simpson
Bill Gates!
Because here's the other thing too.
You fly, motherfucker!
You fly commercial, it's like you could drive too.
But you ain't about to do that.
joe rogan
Well, it's like the argument would get down to everybody needs to be on an electric bus.
And then the problem is like, how are you powering the electricity?
brian simpson
Hey, listen.
The second they come up with some like...
Some shit where they can safely, like some hyperlink shit, where they can safely zoom you at 500 miles an hour.
I'm going to be a proponent of that.
joe rogan
Those accidents are going to be horrific.
brian simpson
The accidents?
joe rogan
Accidents.
500 mile an hour accidents.
You know they're going to happen.
brian simpson
But they don't happen that often in Japan.
joe rogan
Often is not a word I ever want to hear.
When you're talking about 500 mile an hour accidents.
brian simpson
Oh yeah, the first one's gonna be brutal.
jamie vernon
That often?
They're having deaths in Florida right now, and the train doesn't even go that fast.
joe rogan
Yeah.
brian simpson
How fast is it?
How fast?
unidentified
Fuck that.
jamie vernon
I feel like it's less than 100 miles an hour, but people are trying to cross.
They think it's a slow train, so they try to cross the tracks, and a fast train comes through.
It says 55 people.
It's killed at least 55 people in Miami-Dade.
It's on the screen.
Broward and Palm Beach counties.
joe rogan
Jesus Christ.
jamie vernon
Since its debut three years ago.
It's like one a month, I guess.
That's a lot.
joe rogan
That's a lot.
brian simpson
Damn, one a month?
jamie vernon
That's a lot, dude.
They even stopped it for a while because it was happening so much.
joe rogan
How are they dying?
brian simpson
Oh, but you know what?
jamie vernon
They're trying to cross and they think they have time.
joe rogan
Oh my God, collisions.
brian simpson
Look at the picture.
They're putting this old-ass train on the old track.
I mean, this new train on the old tracks.
jamie vernon
Well, we don't have new tracks.
That's the other problem.
brian simpson
Yeah, that's crazy.
joe rogan
Oh my God, this is insane.
Do they check all those tracks?
jamie vernon
No.
joe rogan
No.
jamie vernon
Right now they have police at most of the crossings to stop people.
joe rogan
Oh, Jesus Christ.
jamie vernon
I think a lot of this has happened during testing.
It's not even fully operational.
brian simpson
I've been on an Amtrak train.
When I lived in LA, I would catch the train down to San Diego.
I prefer the train over driving or flying because it gives me time to read.
When I'm just sitting there and traveling, I can read and listen to shit.
You know what I mean?
It's like a two, three-hour train, but I've been on it twice when it's hit someone.
joe rogan
Oh, my God.
brian simpson
Yeah.
And their whole procedure is they stop the train and they have to wait.
joe rogan
They survived.
They survived.
Oh my god.
Did you see that?
Is that the lady in the Prius that tried to drive and the train hit her?
jamie vernon
Might have been.
joe rogan
Like a small car?
brian simpson
Okay, so wait a minute.
joe rogan
She hit the gas and she just panicked.
She tried to get it across before the train.
The train hits her car and just clips the corner of it.
brian simpson
So these Bright Line trains, all these deaths are from not the train crashing?
joe rogan
Correct.
No, they're from people crashing into the trains, trying to get across the tracks in their cars.
unidentified
Yeah.
brian simpson
See, if one of them things hit you at 500, though, you're not surviving that.
You're paced, bro.
joe rogan
Yeah, well, they hit the corner of her car.
brian simpson
Did she get injured?
joe rogan
Yeah, I'm sure she got injured.
She got rocked.
I mean, the car gets destroyed.
brian simpson
Yo, did you see that clip?
It was a couple months ago where a police officer pulled a woman over.
He stopped his car on the train tracks.
Put her in the back of the car while he went to go deal with the other passenger.
And then the train started coming.
joe rogan
Oh, my God.
brian simpson
And he fucking left that bitch.
He left her in the car.
joe rogan
Oh, my God.
unidentified
Yeah.
brian simpson
She didn't die, though.
joe rogan
Oh, my God.
brian simpson
Yeah.
Have you seen that?
joe rogan
Oh, my God.
You didn't have time to get her out?
brian simpson
Here it is right here.
Yeah.
She's in the back of that cruiser.
And he's like, he's like, fuck it, fuck it.
joe rogan
No way.
unidentified
Oh, no way.
Yeah, yeah.
joe rogan
No way.
brian simpson
This is from inside the car.
She's like, let me out of it, bitch.
unidentified
Oh, bruh.
joe rogan
Dude, I don't want to see this.
I don't want to see this.
You're freaking me out.
brian simpson
That's tough right there.
unidentified
Oh, my God.
joe rogan
What happens to that cop?
brian simpson
Oh, who knows?
Who knows?
I never even got a follow-up.
unidentified
Oh, my God.
joe rogan
He left the car on the tracks.
brian simpson
Yeah, man.
joe rogan
That's so insane.
brian simpson
And I forget what his reasoning...
I forget what he said, but it's like...
joe rogan
How could he...
How do you justify that?
brian simpson
That's just a fuck up.
You fucked up real bad.
You fucked up real bad.
And she didn't die though.
joe rogan
Oh my god.
brian simpson
That's insane.
I think she broke all her bones.
joe rogan
Oh my god.
Oh my god.
Jesus Christ, bro.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Hit by a fucking train.
brian simpson
At the very least, aren't you pretty much forgiven for whatever thing you got arrested for?
joe rogan
What if it was just, like, meth?
brian simpson
I don't know.
I forget where her crime was.
Maybe it was...
joe rogan
She got caught with meth.
brian simpson
It was probably something like that.
But it's like, yeah, but we can't talk about that in court.
What prosecutor gonna prosecute you when you just got fucked up?
joe rogan
Not just that.
Like, for sure she's gonna sue.
brian simpson
Oh yeah, I would sue.
joe rogan
If she's still alive, I mean, who knows how badly injured.
She might be still alive, but for how long?
jamie vernon
She got seriously injured.
It says, uh, lost teeth, left arm broken, multiple fractured ribs, uh, injuries to heads and legs.
joe rogan
Jeez.
jamie vernon
Head and legs, sorry, not multiple heads.
brian simpson
But she, but she, she didn't, she didn't still walk, right?
jamie vernon
It says she's alive.
I'm looking, it says two cops charged for leaving woman and vehicle.
joe rogan
Oh my God.
unidentified
Oh, it went to the wrong thing.
brian simpson
Yeah, but in the one cop, I mean, first of all, what you fucked up at was stopping your car on the tracks.
joe rogan
Yeah, why'd the cop stop his car on the tracks?
For sure.
And why'd he get it out of his fucking car?
Like, the whole thing is bonkers.
brian simpson
Yeah, it's insane.
joe rogan
I mean, did she try to escape or something?
Did he try to put her back in?
I don't know what the story was.
jamie vernon
Police officers have been charged with multiple felony and misdemeanor counts stemming from an incident in which they allegedly placed a handcuffed female suspect in a patrol car that was then hit by a train.
joe rogan
Oh, my God.
jamie vernon
Five counts of reckless endangerment, one count each of obstructing a highway or other passageway, careless driving, and parking.
brian simpson
And you definitely don't get to call yourself, because he ain't even tried.
To save her.
joe rogan
That's so scary, dude.
brian simpson
I mean, probably nothing he could have done.
joe rogan
It might not have been, right?
I don't know how much time there was in that.
I mean, he was on the tracks.
He might not have been able to do anything but get out of the way.
Which is like, what?
Do you die with her?
jamie vernon
She was charged with one count of felony menacing.
brian simpson
She got charged?
unidentified
No.
joe rogan
Before that, or after that?
jamie vernon
Liz Gonzalez suffered serious injuries following the collision and has since been released from the hospital.
She is charged with one count of family menacing, according to the district attorney's office.
joe rogan
Still?
jamie vernon
Menaces when...
brian simpson
It's like, nah, I'm going to need you to drop that.
I'm going to need you to drop that.
joe rogan
How insane is that they're still charging her?
brian simpson
Nah.
jamie vernon
It's obviously still ongoing, I believe, so I don't know that it's even made it to court yet.
brian simpson
Yeah, because you can get charged with stuff and then they'll decline to prosecute.
That's happened to me before.
joe rogan
What does menacing mean?
Like she's threatening somebody?
jamie vernon
Let's see.
I'll Google felony menacing.
joe rogan
That's the craziest case of karma ever, if that's the case.
jamie vernon
Menacing.
Wikipedia says, a criminal offense generally defined as displaying a weapon with the intent of placing another person in fear or imminent physical injury or death.
joe rogan
Oh, she pulled a weapon on somebody.
So who knows what that story is?
brian simpson
Public menacing.
joe rogan
Who knows what that story is?
brian simpson
Yeah.
joe rogan
The problem with that is like, who knows what that person did?
unidentified
Who knows if she was defending herself?
brian simpson
But imagine getting hit by a train and then still having to go to prison.
joe rogan
Oh my god, that's so insane.
brian simpson
Because ultimately she didn't harm anyone.
joe rogan
Right, she scared them.
brian simpson
Yeah, so imagine still having to go to prison with all your bones broken and everything.
joe rogan
Does it say with the intent?
jamie vernon
I'm looking right now.
I'm trying to reel back on the story on why they pulled her over.
joe rogan
Can you read the definition again?
jamie vernon
Of what?
Menacing?
joe rogan
Yeah.
jamie vernon
Oh, sorry.
joe rogan
Does it say with intent?
Listen to me like I'm a fucking lawyer.
I just want to clarify for the record, Your Honor.
jamie vernon
The definition of the dictionary says, suggesting the presence of danger threatening.
A menacing tone of voice.
To be menacing to someone is occurring when an individual knowingly places another person in fear by means of threat or physical action.
So yeah, that'd be intent.
joe rogan
Oh, but that's just, that's not a weapon, though.
I thought you said it was a weapon.
jamie vernon
The first thing, as Wikipedia, I'm reading multiple definitions.
brian simpson
So if I go, bitch, I'll kill you, that's menacing?
Isn't that assault?
joe rogan
Probably menacing.
No, it can't be assault, right?
Or is there verbal assault?
brian simpson
Yeah, assault is just making someone afraid.
jamie vernon
Again, here's the Wikipedia so we can read that again.
joe rogan
Menacing or brandishing in a criminal offense.
Oh, is a criminal offense.
So, or brandishing.
jamie vernon
Generally defined as displaying a weapon, but it's generally defined.
joe rogan
Okay, generally defined.
But it could be, like, what if someone was an MMA fighter and they were threatening to beat your ass?
brian simpson
Oh, yeah, because you could be menacing by stalking.
jamie vernon
Oh.
Idaho has a different definition than Ohio, so it's, you know.
joe rogan
Okay.
Well, so something.
Who knows?
brian simpson
So just threatening, probably.
joe rogan
Just threatening somebody, maybe.
brian simpson
Who knows?
joe rogan
But Jesus Christ, getting hit by a fucking train.
You know, Matt Hughes, former UFC welterweight champion, got hit by a train.
brian simpson
No.
unidentified
Yeah.
Yeah.
joe rogan
Yeah, he has been recovering over the last few years using a lot of stem cells.
brian simpson
Oh yeah, I do remember this.
joe rogan
Yeah, that bioaccelerator place in Columbia, which a lot of MMA fighters go there and they have great results.
He's going there and he's done a bunch of videos of him there doing different stem cell therapies.
jamie vernon
Here's what happened to begin that.
joe rogan
It says multiple law enforcement agencies responded to a report of road rage incident involving a firearm in Fort Lupton on Friday evening.
A Platteville police officer stopped Rios Gonzalez's car just past a set of railroad tracks and parked the patrol vehicle on the crossing.
She was placed in the back of the police vehicle, which was hit by the train as officers were searching her car.
Oh, my God.
They were searching her car while they parked their car on the fucking train with her in it.
So there's no excuse for that.
brian simpson
No.
joe rogan
I mean, how the fuck do you not know the train's coming?
brian simpson
Yeah.
joe rogan
And you're a cop in this area?
jamie vernon
And then they could hear it.
unidentified
It wasn't like it was a quiet train.
brian simpson
But both of them, they were probably just so locked in, and then by the time they realized it was coming, they were like, bro.
unidentified
I mean, what the fuck?
brian simpson
Yeah.
You definitely don't get to be a hero.
joe rogan
Imagine being in that fucking car when that train's coming.
unidentified
Woo!
brian simpson
Yeah.
unidentified
Woo!
That's a crazy way to go.
brian simpson
Because being in a situation where you know, where you really know that there's harm coming.
joe rogan
They've gotten rid of people that way, too, you know.
brian simpson
What do you mean?
joe rogan
Parked them on the tracks.
brian simpson
Oh, yeah.
joe rogan
Like, murdered them and then parked them on the tracks.
brian simpson
Yeah, definitely.
Tape your hands at the steering wheel.
joe rogan
Do you know that's how they found out about the drug trafficking in Mena, Arkansas?
brian simpson
Wait, no.
joe rogan
Yeah, there was a guy named Barry Seal, and he was going back and forth to like, I guess it was Columbia.
brian simpson
Why does that name sound familiar?
joe rogan
Because they did a movie on him with Tom Cruise.
I think it's called American Made, is that what it's called?
It's a great fucking movie.
But, you know, Barry Seal's not handsome like Tom Cruise, so it's weird.
But the movie's great.
brian simpson
Tom Cruise played this motherfucker?
joe rogan
He didn't gain weight or anything.
He's like, fuck you.
brian simpson
Tom Cruise was like, hey man, I can't look like that.
joe rogan
I'm not going to look like that.
I'm Tom motherfucking Cruise.
I can pretend.
Now go see Tom Cruise in American Made.
Now watch the difference of what his character looks like.
Just looks like a wild man.
Just got some crazy hair.
That's it.
brian simpson
Man, I've never seen this movie.
joe rogan
Well, it's a true story.
Well, the movie is, you know, obviously a dramatic adaption of a true story.
They took some dramatic license, some theatrical added things.
They had creative power over the storyline a little bit.
But in it, Barry Seals gets pardoned by Bill Clinton.
brian simpson
For what?
joe rogan
There was something that happened where he got in trouble, and he said, call this number, and Bill Clinton lets him off the hook.
In the Tom Cruise movie, yeah.
In the Tom Cruise movie.
jamie vernon
There's like a scene right here that supposedly happened.
joe rogan
Play it.
unidentified
I'm Dana Cibota.
jamie vernon
He's just been arrested.
unidentified
State Attorney General.
You've got DEA, ATF, FBI, all wanting their pound of flesh.
Spanish.
It's a great room.
Yeah.
Well, you hit the trifecta, didn't you?
I mean, guns, drugs, money laundering.
And the state of Arkansas is gonna rip the bark right off of you, boy.
We are gonna put you in a four-by-six cell for the rest of your life.
That's a long time.
Yeah.
Miss Sabota, I have Governor Clinton on the line.
He says it's urgent.
Come here.
Where'd you come?
Put him through.
Clear the room.
Take him with you.
Yeah.
What do you need, Bill?
Did y'all know that caddies have more trunk space than any other car in the world?
joe rogan
So this is Tom Cruise just talking to all these cops that think he's going to jail for the rest of his life.
unidentified
You do that for all of us?
Oh, bring me down here for one.
See?
I'm gonna walk out of here.
I'm gonna walk out of here.
I read a damn thing any one of you can do about it.
Do it.
Mm-hmm.
joe rogan
He sticks his arms out to get unhandcuffed.
unidentified
There you are.
Thank you.
joe rogan
So, this is in the movie, it at least implies, without specifically saying it.
brian simpson
Does he deny this?
Yo, when that motherfucker- I don't know.
When his memoirs come out, that's gonna be a motherfucker.
joe rogan
So this is what happened.
These kids died on this train track in Meena, Arkansas.
And the police reported that the police report stated that they were intoxicated and they fell asleep on the train track and that's how they died.
Then the parents did an autopsy and they found stab wounds on the kids.
And so they knew that the kids had been murdered and placed there.
So an investigation started and then during the investigation they realized that that was where Barry Seal would do his drug drops.
So he would fly into these airports and instead of flying in with giant bags of cocaine And then getting arrested when he landed, he would throw them out the back of a fucking plane with parachutes.
And they would land.
I don't know if they had parachutes.
They'd just throw these bags out at a low altitude.
And he had drop points where he would drop these bags.
And one of these two kids, one of these bags landed and they saw it.
And they went over and started fucking with it.
And then when the people went to find and retrieve the bag, they found these kids and they murdered them.
And so then people start talking and then they found the story of this guy Barry Seals and he was arrested.
And on his way to trial, he gets murdered with George Bush's phone number in his pocket.
brian simpson
Barry's Hill.
joe rogan
Barry's Hill.
brian simpson
Man, stop playing.
joe rogan
Listen, this is the ultimate story.
brian simpson
Is all that in the movie too?
joe rogan
I don't know if they put that in the movie, but find out if that's true, because I'm pretty sure it is.
The ultimate story was this guy was smuggling drugs into the United States a lot, flying back and forth to South America.
He had all these photos, and he worked in cooperation at one point in time with whatever federal government that was investigating.
I think it was...
Was it Noriega?
Who did he get in trouble?
unidentified
Medellin.
joe rogan
It was the Medellin cartel?
jamie vernon
Yeah.
joe rogan
So was it Pablo Escobar that he got photographed with?
jamie vernon
Yes sir.
joe rogan
So he got, like, photos for them of, like, all these different drug dealers all hanging out together.
Pablo Escobar.
jamie vernon
I suppose that's how he got caught.
Those pictures came back and were released publicly before he had even landed on that flight.
joe rogan
So that's how they found him.
jamie vernon
And they were like, oh, we know who Barry is.
joe rogan
Yeah, so they murdered that dude.
Somebody murdered that dude.
But that guy was bringing in drugs, and he wasn't making all the money himself.
He was a pilot, and I'm sure he got a piece.
I'm sure he got paid really well, but he was doing it for other people.
jamie vernon
There's Spinelli.
I don't know who this guy is.
Let me see.
I think it might have been a previous agent.
joe rogan
So he was an agent at one point in time.
jamie vernon
This says he was his pilot.
joe rogan
Was he an agent?
jamie vernon
And had his phone number in his back pocket.
unidentified
Okay.
joe rogan
It says, for example, Spinelli said, one of the big conspiracy theories around Barry is that he was George H.W. Bush's personal pilot, and when Barry was killed, he had Bush's phone number in his back pocket.
Neither filmmaker felt it was appropriate to include that unsubstantiated theory, but they also knew that astute audience members might already be familiar with it.
That's a good way of saying it might have happened.
brian simpson
So then why did they include the Clinton thing?
joe rogan
Because the Clinton thing definitely did happen.
And the thing about it is, what was going on?
This guy was bringing in cocaine.
And if you really thought about it, you'd go, okay, if you were some big-time government agency and you knew there is no fucking way we're stopping all this coke from coming over here.
It's coming over here.
Why don't we, like, get a little taste?
Why don't we get a little taste?
If you're in the DEA and you're just constantly busting scumbags with giant bags of meth and you're like, you know what, man?
How about we just fucking sell some of this shit?
How about we just sell some of it and use the money, like, to fund the Contras versus the Sandinistas in Nicaragua?
That's what happened with Freeway Ricky Ross.
brian simpson
You ever hear Ronald Reagan talking about that shit?
Where at first he goes...
There's a Killer Mike song called Fuck Reagan or something like that.
And it starts off with his speech about where he goes...
He's like, I know last week I said that we were not funding these contras or whatever.
And he was like, and even though...
This is a very politician way he goes.
Even though...
My heart tells me that that's still true.
The evidence says that it's not.
So instead of being like, I lied, he was like, my heart tells me that this isn't true.
joe rogan
How much do you think they tell the president?
How much do you trust a guy who only has a job for four years?
brian simpson
I think they tell him the very...
Tip-top urgent shit, and they tell him all the other shit on the bottom, but there's that little middle little 10-15% that he has no idea.
joe rogan
In the 1980s, I'm just throwing this out there.
Don't you think that in the 1980s they could keep a guy like Ronald Reagan from finding out that they're dealing drugs while his wife is doing the Just Say No campaign?
Because that's during the same time period, man.
During the Just Say No campaign, Ronald Reagan...
Was responsible, because he was the president, whether or not he knew about it.
During his administration, they were selling drugs in South Central LA. Oh, yeah.
You've seen that video where Michael Rupert calls out, like, there's an assemblywoman, and there's the DEA guys on stage, and he says, I personally witnessed the CIA selling drugs.
brian simpson
Yeah, they were definitely putting drugs.
joe rogan
They were selling drugs, and they were doing it all through Freeway Ricky Ross.
brian simpson
Yeah.
And then they locked him up.
joe rogan
And they locked him up and he figured out how to be a lawyer in jail.
He couldn't even read when he went to jail.
He learned how to read and then became a lawyer and realized they had tried him for double jeopardy incorrectly.
Because for double jeopardy, like when someone has like three strikes, three strikes, right?
Not double jeopardy, three strikes.
So when someone does that, it's supposed to be like three separate times.
It's not like three different things that you charge them for at once.
And for his second arrest, they had used that, but they used it incorrectly.
I hope I'm not fucking that up.
brian simpson
So did he get out?
joe rogan
Yes.
brian simpson
Oh, okay.
joe rogan
Yes, he got out.
And his story's insane.
It's an insane story because it's all true and verified.
That guy was making millions and millions of dollars.
He couldn't even read at the time.
He was a tennis player.
He's a fucking very smart guy.
And he didn't know how to read.
And he figured out how to do it in jail once they arrested him and learned how to become a lawyer.
brian simpson
That's miraculous.
Is there a movie about him?
No, there's a whole show about him.
joe rogan
Well, there's also Rick Ross the Rapper.
brian simpson
Oh, yeah.
Well, I think they had an issue at first.
unidentified
They did.
brian simpson
Because he's like, I'm actually...
joe rogan
Actually Rick Ross.
Yeah, it's like someone calling themselves John Gotti.
unidentified
Right.
joe rogan
And then John Gotti gets out of jail.
Like, hey...
brian simpson
Well, you know, there's a lot of rappers that name themselves out of, like, mafiosos.
unidentified
Sure.
brian simpson
Sure!
Because there's a Yo Gotti rapper.
I forget his name, but the guy that used to run Murder, Inc., something else Gotti.
Irv Gotti.
There's Rick Ross.
I think Biggie used to call himself something slim.
I'm getting...
My shit's getting crossed up.
But a lot of rappers do that.
joe rogan
What did Superfly sell?
Was Superfly a drug dealer in that movie?
brian simpson
I think he sold pussy.
That sounded like a pimp.
joe rogan
Was that what he was?
I don't believe.
I think he was selling drugs.
I think that was the idea.
That was like...
unidentified
Cocaine.
joe rogan
Cocaine?
Yeah.
unidentified
Okay.
joe rogan
Yeah.
brian simpson
Yeah, cocaine.
And you know what's crazy?
We do so much cocaine.
joe rogan
The United States does an insane amount of cocaine.
brian simpson
I think Britain still does more than us.
joe rogan
That's amazing.
brian simpson
You're talking about a place...
I think Texas might be bigger than Great Britain.
joe rogan
Yes.
Well, it rains over there so much.
They just want to just get...
brian simpson
They do so much cocaine over there.
It's crazy.
joe rogan
Get gacked up.
brian simpson
That's why their fucking food sucks.
joe rogan
Their food doesn't suck anymore.
brian simpson
No?
joe rogan
No, there's some amazing chefs over there.
Yeah, and you can get some really good food in England now.
That was like an old thing that people said.
brian simpson
No, I mean, when we went there.
That was my only time there.
jamie vernon
Albania.
joe rogan
You didn't think that was great steak?
brian simpson
No.
joe rogan
How dare you?
brian simpson
I thought everything else was good.
The potatoes were good.
England and what?
joe rogan
Albania is number one?
jamie vernon
Annual prevalence percentage, which I'm not exactly sure.
joe rogan
Whoa, so 5.9% of the people do...
jamie vernon
Over the age of 12, which is...
unidentified
They're doing coke at the age of 12. That's a crazy way to measure.
joe rogan
Oh my God.
brian simpson
How you find out that 12-year-olds...
joe rogan
That's Rose's people.
brian simpson
Holy shit.
joe rogan
Rose from the Comedy Store.
That's her people.
brian simpson
Albanians?
joe rogan
Wow, folks.
Holy shit.
Albanians.
brian simpson
6% do cocaine?
joe rogan
That's wild.
Let me see the list again.
jamie vernon
I'm trying to find a better one to see.
joe rogan
That one's fun.
jamie vernon
Well, I just lost it.
joe rogan
That one's a good one.
brian simpson
If they broke it down by city, it would be a whole other thing.
joe rogan
Right.
Yeah, because some cities are...
Like Miami would fucking dominate the country in the cocaine Olympics.
brian simpson
Miami, Los Angeles.
joe rogan
Miami, though, would really...
I mean, that city was built on cocaine.
Wow, look at that.
So the United States is only number three.
We've got to do better.
brian simpson
We've got to do better.
joe rogan
All the Coke's coming into this country and we can't get into number one.
brian simpson
But what does annual prevalence mean?
joe rogan
Probably per year.
How many times do you do Coke at least once a year?
And it looks like...
Am I reading that correctly?
brian simpson
It's the percentage of the youth and adult population who have consumed the drug at least once in the past year.
joe rogan
Yeah, so it's 2.9 for America?
Yeah.
brian simpson
And that's just all the people that are telling the truth.
joe rogan
Yeah, a lot of people are lying.
Probably more than.
And how many of those people that aren't lying are on Adderall?
brian simpson
Because it feels like more than 4%.
joe rogan
A lot of people are doing it.
brian simpson
I feel like whenever I'm in a room and cocaine comes up, because I don't do cocaine.
But I am always in the minority.
Both of the people are like, oh yeah, I'll do something.
You know?
joe rogan
I've never done coke.
brian simpson
It doesn't affect me.
joe rogan
I've never even tried it.
brian simpson
And at first I thought maybe I was doing it wrong or I did the wrong kind.
People would constantly try to convince me.
There's a theory that kids that were on Ritalin don't have the same...
Cocaine doesn't have the same effect on them.
joe rogan
Oh, interesting.
brian simpson
Yeah.
joe rogan
Well, that makes sense.
You probably have a tolerance for speed.
brian simpson
Oh, is that what Ritalin is?
joe rogan
It's very speedy.
I don't know if it's technically a speed, but it's very speedy for some people.
It makes them like Henry Rollins was on it when he was a kid, and he talked about it, and he'd be like, fucking...
He thinks it had a big effect on him.
I'm pretty sure Henry said that.
I think that was Ritalin that he was on, right?
Okay, it says, Ritalin acts much like cocaine.
Advanced imaging research has answered a 40-year-old question about methylphenidate, which is Ritalin.
Which is taken daily by 4 million to 6 million children in the United States.
How does it work?
The answer may unsettle many parents because the drug acts much like cocaine.
Albeit cocaine dripped through molasses.
Neuroski.
jamie vernon
Neuroski?
unidentified
Oh.
joe rogan
That was like, what did they say?
Taken orally in pill form.
It rarely produces a high and has not been reported to be addictive.
However, injected as a liquid, it sends a jolt that addicts very much, addicts very much, rather, says Nora Volkov, MD, psychiatrist and imaging expert at Brookhaven National Laboratory.
They say it's like cocaine.
So when you inject it into someone, who the fuck is injecting a riddle?
I don't know how people found that out.
How do they make that...
It acts like...
That's a misleading title.
It acts much like cocaine when you inject it in someone.
They were saying that it doesn't cause that when you take the pill for them.
brian simpson
Or maybe it's a very, very mild cocaine effect.
joe rogan
I don't know, but people that I know that have taken it describe it like that.
Henry Rollins described it like he was just like, fucking...
Like gritting his teeth all day.
brian simpson
It gave me bad anxiety.
joe rogan
Also, the thing about things like that is who knows what's going to work for you and what's not going to work for you.
There's so much involved in trying stuff on you.
If you don't feel good, they don't know what's going on in your head.
brian simpson
What does that mean?
This is what really fucked me up.
When they first put me on it, I didn't like how it make me felt like the first couple times I took it.
So after that, I was sneaking spit it out, right?
And after like a month of me...
So I took it for a week.
I didn't like how it made me feel.
joe rogan
Why did they put you on it?
brian simpson
I was in foster care and I was like...
Basically, I was ADD. It's ADHD, but they called it ADD back then.
And the teacher was like, he's smart, but he can't sit still.
And that kind of shit, right?
And so for three weeks, I was spitting this shit out.
And then we had a parent-teacher conference.
And so I wasn't even on the shit.
And you know how sometimes, and I don't recommend parents do this, but adults would talk about me like I wasn't there.
joe rogan
Right, right, right.
brian simpson
You know what I mean?
And these motherfuckers, the teacher, the guidance counselor, and my foster mother, they all sitting around talking about how...
Yeah, I really noticed the progress.
And it was my first time.
I'm sitting there, you know, seven, eight years old.
I'm like, these motherfuckers are full of shit.
Like, I didn't have the words to say that.
But that's how I felt.
I was like, they're all full of shit.
They don't know about any of this shit.
And so, for the longest time, I refused any of the shit they gave me.
Like, once I had the power to say no, I was like, fuck those pills.
Because they tried to put me on Prozac, too, when I was a teenager.
And I was like, how you know this ain't...
They experimenting on me.
How you know this shit?
What does this shit do?
joe rogan
Well, also, the thing that drives me crazy about kids that won't sit still is that no kid wants to sit still.
The idea that you want kids to sit still, it's so...
I know you're trying to give them discipline and train them to be good students, but that is absolutely not what they want to do.
Kids are like puppies.
They want to run around.
They want to have fun.
That's natural.
That's a 100% natural way to live as a kid.
They make you sit down in a fucking room and listen to some boring shit and maybe you're behind in classes so you can't even follow what the fuck they're talking about because you're not up to that level of whatever it is.
brian simpson
No, it was the opposite.
For me, I was like, I get it.
Oh, so it was boring.
joe rogan
Even better.
So if that's the case, imagine the solution is to drug you.
It's not like, he's so smart, this is all stupid to him.
That was Einstein.
Einstein failed seventh grade.
brian simpson
Yeah.
joe rogan
Like, how the fuck can you...
If you fail Einstein, I mean, you gotta think that maybe the way you're teaching is kind of fucked.
brian simpson
Yeah, because I forget who the fuck it was.
I think the guy's name was Tom Hartman, but he was like a political guy that I used to listen to a long time ago, but he was talking about how there was a...
When he was coming up, there was a school in Boston...
Where they would send these kids, I don't think they called it ADD back then, but the theory was that it was actually an evolutionary benefit because the person that was, it's not that you can't pay attention, it's that your attention is split.
So the guy that was hyper-aware would help the tribe survive or whatever.
joe rogan
There's that, but it's also they're bored.
They want excitement.
There's a thing about children.
They want things that stimulate them.
And when the education doesn't stimulate them, it's just this drone.
It's like a trumpet in your face.
You want to get the fuck out of there.
It's normal.
brian simpson
Being a smart kid is kind of a curse in the wrong environment.
Because you know the teachers that always got the best out of me was the ones that were fucking hyped about the subject they were teaching.
joe rogan
It might have felt like a curse.
You might have at the time felt like it was a curse, but it's 100% not a curse.
The curse is to be born stupid.
That's the real curse.
You are way better off being a smart guy who feels out of place in a stupid neighborhood than you are a stupid guy in a smart neighborhood.
brian simpson
Yeah, you're right.
joe rogan
You don't want to be the dumb guy.
brian simpson
You don't want to be the dumb guy.
And it took me a long time to stop acting stupid so I could fit in.
joe rogan
Oh, interesting.
brian simpson
Yeah, because I wasn't just a smart kid.
I was also a foster kid.
unidentified
Right.
brian simpson
So it would be like, I would finally, finally feel like I'm kind of sort of fitting in, and then I would move.
And now I'm this new kid in a new school.
You know, when you're a new kid in a school, everyone's paying attention to you.
And I know the answer, but I know if I raise my hand, it's going to draw more attention.
joe rogan
Right, and you're going to be Mr. Smarty Pants.
brian simpson
Right.
Oh, Mr. Know-it-all.
Right?
And it was like, so I got into this habit of just dumbing myself down so that I would be...
Cool or whatever, but as an adult now, looking back, I realized no one thought I was cool anyway.
I'm way cooler now than I'm just myself than I was when I was trying to be somebody else.
joe rogan
Yeah, but that's part of being a kid and especially being a foster kid and getting moved around the way you did.
That's got to be an insanely challenging thing.
But that's also why you're so interesting.
People develop character through adversity.
brian simpson
True, true.
joe rogan
I don't think there's any other way that we acquire it.
It feels like a curse when it's happening, you know, when, like, you know, your fucking life sucks and nothing goes your way and you keep failing, you keep falling flat on your ass, but that terrible feeling of you not...
Meeting your goals and achieving things and getting something going on in your life, those terrible feelings create a more resilient, more focused person.
That applies to everything.
brian simpson
Well, finding comedy is like I found my tribe.
Once I found comedy and I was like, oh, it's all these other fucking people that be thinking and saying weird shit.
unidentified
Exactly.
brian simpson
And wondering about dumb shit like it was it was like Like a glove.
Yeah.
joe rogan
Yeah, that's why you know when Mitzi would talk about the the comedy store She would call it the island of misfit toys.
brian simpson
That's what you call Yeah, it really is the island of misfit toys because people come people think people try to Have concert make it controversial like some of the shit we say on stage But if you heard the shit we said to each other It's a whole other level.
joe rogan
Because that's the only way we can make each other laugh.
Also, there's zero stakes.
Oh, right, right.
And you get props for it, for going too deep.
Like, if we're out at dinner and Tony Hinchcliffe says some fucking insane shit that you could never say...
brian simpson
Sometimes you ever forget that, like...
There's a not comic around and you forget all the time.
And you're like, oh, they probably don't.
unidentified
Yeah.
brian simpson
But I'm telling you, those of y'all listening out there, there's nothing better.
Than, you know, five or six comics that know each other and trust each other with no recording devices around and we're high and we're just mind.
To me, it's almost like the equivalent of a rap cypher.
It's something we automatically fall into to keep each other sharp.
It's an exercise that we just do.
joe rogan
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, I think that's what podcasts are in a way, too.
brian simpson
Yeah, and we're spoiled.
joe rogan
Yeah, we're definitely spoiled.
Because if you try to have a conversation with a knucklehead, it's not fun.
brian simpson
That's why the pandemic fucked a lot of comics up, like the lockdowns, because a lot of people don't realize, you being exposed to such a high level of thought experiments and just mental stimulation Every night, you're near some of the most abstract thinkers, and they're giving you ideas in different angles, and you're spoiled by that.
And then all of a sudden, it's nothing.
You know?
You just get a text that says, hope all is well.
That ain't doing it.
Like, six months ago, you were talking about aliens and aliens.
If humanity was started from an alien doing mushrooms or whatever the fuck, right?
You were having those kind of conversations every fucking day.
And you took it for granted.
And then all of a sudden it's not available to you.
And your mind is used to just constantly getting new things to think about and piece together.
It's just gone.
joe rogan
I was real lucky that during the pandemic we kept doing the podcast.
We never stopped.
We tested everybody.
We did a lot of different things.
In the early days, it was very touch and go.
Because, you know, they're testing you for antibodies.
They're not even testing you, like, necessarily for COVID. It took a little while before they could test for COVID. Right, right.
We just had everybody just, you know, be honest about how you feel.
Be honest about whether or not you've been exposed.
Constantly get tested.
I get tested every fucking day.
And then, you know, you got to monitor yourself, too.
But it was weird because, like, everybody that was coming in had been isolated.
So we knew that we weren't exposed to other people other than these people that we're doing the shows with.
But then I did a gig in Houston at the Improv in July.
It was kind of the heart of everything.
And then I didn't get sick, but I got really high.
And I got super paranoid that, oh, my God, what if I got sick?
And then I started thinking about it, like, what if I got sick and I infected somebody?
I'm like, I know I'm not sick right now, I don't feel sick, but what if I got it?
Then I was thinking, oh my god, like, I can't do any more of these shows, so I have to stop.
I was like, I gotta stop.
And so we stopped for months and months and months until we did these shows outside with Chappelle.
We did the stub shows because then we tested the whole audience.
We tested everybody.
We had a COVID bubble.
We tested the whole audience.
Everybody got tested.
And then we did those for a while and then as things relaxed more and more.
So I was able to do the podcast through the entire thing.
By the time we came here, they had rapid tests.
They had these rapid antigen tests.
They could find out whether or not you're positive in 15 minutes.
brian simpson
You'd have probably lost your mind if you couldn't.
joe rogan
Yeah, I would have definitely gone into a different headspace.
I think a little bit of silence and relaxation and removal from the world sometimes just to get an introspective view into what actually matters.
Because you could lose what actually matters in the hectic scramble to pay your bills and advance your career and do this and do that.
And, you know, you're trying to achieve things and you're going after it every day.
And you just when everything shuts down, the one advantage that you have is that now you could look at life in its like pure state.
Life in its pure state is just people around the people that they love.
And you're just hanging out together.
And you're locked in together and you're in a place of elevated risk.
Because everybody's a little heightened by the fact that they all know that everything's been locked down.
brian simpson
And there's some meat being smoked.
joe rogan
A little bit of that is good.
The problem with people is that shit went on too long.
It went on way too long, and it fucked people up psychologically, whether they realize it or not.
brian simpson
Oh, isolation.
joe rogan
Isolation.
brian simpson
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
joe rogan
Isolation and fear and anxiety.
Because you've got to think, there's certain people that had a level of anxiety that was already very high, and then the pandemic comes, and everyone they see might kill them by breathing on them.
And you see people, and whether or not masks work or not, you see people with no masks, you're fucking furious.
That could be the one that fucking kills me.
brian simpson
I remember when we when they first started and I went to the laundromat because I had to And it was and I remember just thinking like oh all the air is poison.
Yeah Like what if that was the one that's gonna you know, it was like it was it was it was it was rough wolf It was also rough because no one really knew what the effects were yet.
You know that shit they have in Korea?
It's like a phenomenon.
They've named it.
But it's like a people that, like, isolate themselves.
It's a sickness.
They isolate themselves and they just stay locked.
They're shutting.
joe rogan
They're watching video games?
brian simpson
Or whatever.
They just don't leave the house.
They leave the house as little as possible.
They have a name for it.
And it's a problem.
And it's been for years.
And it's like we basically did that to everyone.
joe rogan
To everyone.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
And the really fucked up thing is they did that to kids.
So these kids are going to have a hard...
And also they did a lot of communicating with masks on to kids and then kids to other kids that they forced them to wear masks.
So, the way children learn how to talk, a big part of it is like watching people talk, like watching facial expressions.
That's how you learn.
You learn from people.
You learn, like, the way we communicate with each other.
You see facial expressions.
You recreate them.
Like, this is me going, wow, I didn't know that, you know?
They have to learn that.
Half your fucking face is covered by a diaper.
Nobody can see that.
It's like bad for development.
So we have no fucking idea what kind of impact that's going to have.
brian simpson
So what do you think?
So say there's a pandemic.
Another one.
And there's no controversy.
Like, this shit is deadly.
No one disagrees.
joe rogan
It'll be what we experience times 10. It'll be just as fucked up in terms of, like, the anxiety levels.
They'll be even higher, actually.
Right?
Because people will be, you know, now that this, if this is like the Spanish flu or something like that, it killed millions and millions and millions of people.
brian simpson
I think people will, I think there would still eventually be a point where people were like, Fuck it.
It's worth it.
joe rogan
Eventually, yeah.
But if it's something that's fatal to like a large percentage of the people that catch it, not a small percentage like COVID. I mean, think about what ultimately COVID was like, what percentage of the people that got COVID died?
Jamie, what percentage of the people that got COVID died?
Just overall.
Let's just include old people.
Let's not be ageist.
include young people, old people.
Let's see what we got here.
What do you guess?
brian simpson
I'm gonna say...
4%.
unidentified
Let's just say 5%.
brian simpson
Let's round it out.
joe rogan
I don't think it's that high.
brian simpson
You don't think it's that high?
joe rogan
No.
I think that would be a lot more people.
The amount of people that died from it, I think it's like 3%.
brian simpson
3%?
joe rogan
I think it's 3. I'm not sure though.
It might be lower than that.
brian simpson
Actually, no, it's got to be lower than that.
Yeah, that's ridiculous.
Because 3% is insane.
That's an insane amount of people.
joe rogan
Right.
Like, what do you think?
I've seen people say that it's less than 1%.
But I don't know if that's, like, if they're going, like, healthy 18 to 49. Obviously, there's a giant risk if you're old.
Old people, there's a giant risk.
I mean, it really goes up.
When you look at, like, people in their 80s, and, like, if you look at the number of people that died from COVID, a large number of them were older.
It's real dangerous for them.
brian simpson
Because right now, where are we at?
8 billion people on Earth?
joe rogan
Yeah.
brian simpson
And maybe half of the people caught it?
joe rogan
No, more than that probably at this point.
brian simpson
So 1% of that is...
joe rogan
That's a lot of fucking dead people.
brian simpson
That's too many people.
So it's less than 1% for sure.
joe rogan
We just did science.
brian simpson
We're scientists, though.
unidentified
We're scientists, bro.
brian simpson
Where's my honorary degree, goddammit?
joe rogan
Cheers.
brian simpson
Cheers, man.
joe rogan
This has been fun.
brian simpson
Hell yeah.
Jamie's still doing math.
joe rogan
What do you think the number is?
jamie vernon
I've seen different numbers.
joe rogan
What do you think it is, Jamie?
brian simpson
Yo, don't give us those Republican numbers.
joe rogan
Yeah, man, give us a real number from Politico.
jamie vernon
I don't know.
joe rogan
What did they say on Truth Social?
brian simpson
But that's really the best...
Because that's how I feel.
I don't know...
Because, listen, when I think...
When the waters get so muddy, all you got is how you feel.
Because I'm not going to buy a microscope.
I'm not going to do the study.
Because it's become so political that both sides are kind of throwing mistruths and shit out there.
Because I don't trust any of these politicians.
joe rogan
Did you see that they released something today, finally, on natural immunity?
brian simpson
No, what is that?
joe rogan
The Washington Post finally published a truth about natural immunity in a piece by Lena Wendt.
She's that lady that was the expert on CNN all the time that was telling people to mask up.
brian simpson
Okay.
joe rogan
She said, vaccinated people who never had COVID... We're at least three times as likely to be infected as unvaccinated people with prior infection.
So they're finally talking about that, which is really bananas.
brian simpson
Okay.
But also, never had COVID is weird because...
joe rogan
Here's another one.
Ready for this one?
Those who are vaccinated but never had COVID were four times as likely to have a severe illness resulting in hospitalization or death compared to the unvaccinated who recovered from it.
Protection from natural immunity also wanes at a slower rate than from vaccination.
Sorry, I didn't put my reading glasses on there.
brian simpson
Never had COVID is weird because...
Because how do you differentiate between people that never had it and people that just never tested positive for it?
joe rogan
That's true, too.
brian simpson
Because I only tested when it was something I needed to test for.
joe rogan
My friend Bridget had it.
She had no idea she had it.
She tested positive.
She was going to a wedding.
She tested positive.
Couldn't go.
She's like, this is crazy.
I don't feel anything.
She tested positive twice.
brian simpson
I got lucky, man.
I never...
I never tested positive when it was something important.
When the first time I did this podcast, I was like, please don't fucking test.
And then when I got my Netflix thing, I didn't test positive.
And I had some other important thing where it was like...
Matter of fact, when they did the festival, They had us all test.
I filmed something at the end of the festival, but for almost two weeks before that, we were just doing shows around LA. And then right when you're going to do the most important thing at the end, you got to test.
joe rogan
Oh boy.
brian simpson
I know!
I passed that one too though.
joe rogan
Was the shows around LA though?
A lot of them were outside shows though, right?
brian simpson
No.
joe rogan
No?
brian simpson
No.
By the time the festival happened, it was already...
joe rogan
Oh, when is the festival?
brian simpson
The Netflix festival.
joe rogan
When was that?
brian simpson
It was...
joe rogan
Oh, the recent one.
brian simpson
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
joe rogan
Oh, so when you said the festival, I didn't know which one you were talking about.
brian simpson
Oh, yeah, yeah.
The one they just had, like, right at the end when everyone was, like, fine.
But I do know a motherfucker where, like, their whole thing, they were supposed to film something and they test...
They tested positive right beforehand.
They fucked their whole shit up.
joe rogan
Yeah, I've heard of that too.
brian simpson
Yeah.
joe rogan
Well, listen, man.
What are you going to do?
They have to abide by those rules, especially when we didn't have any way to treat it or we didn't know what was the right way to treat it.
There was a lot of that in the beginning, right?
Like they thought respirators were the way to go.
They found out they weren't.
But that's how things go when there's a pandemic.
There's a lot of Monday morning quarterbacking about stuff.
brian simpson
But when are we going to catch a break where like...
Where like the treatment is like you just gotta fuck a lot.
unidentified
You know what I mean?
joe rogan
You just gotta nut twice a day.
brian simpson
Or I wanted it to be something crazy like weed was actually the cure.
Because stoners always say weed's the cure for everything.
Like it came out and was like TAC is actually The cure.
joe rogan
That's the thing.
brian simpson
Oh, man.
I can't wait for something like that to happen.
joe rogan
Well, you don't want an illness.
Just enjoy weed.
You don't need to justify your weed usage with an illness.
brian simpson
I got you right.
joe rogan
You're better off being healthy and just enjoying it on your own.
brian simpson
I just don't like the judgment.
joe rogan
Judgment from who?
Idiots that don't smoke weed?
brian simpson
No, but here's the wild shit, though, Joe.
I've always had...
My eyes always make me look like I'm high.
And I don't smoke weed as much as...
joe rogan
You look like.
brian simpson
Right, right.
joe rogan
Jim Brewer.
That's the perfect example.
brian simpson
Jim Brewer.
Oh, yeah.
joe rogan
Jim Brewer looks like he's constantly high.
brian simpson
And he is not...
I guarantee you, he's not high nearly as much as people assume.
joe rogan
I don't even know if he gets high anymore.
He went through a long period where he definitely didn't get high.
He was getting too high.
brian simpson
Jim Brewer?
joe rogan
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Decided to back off.
And he was in half-baked.
brian simpson
Yeah, because that's the thing.
I can only get super high when I'm fine.
It doesn't solve my problems.
If I'm having anxiety or depression or something like that, weed doesn't make me feel better.
joe rogan
No, it makes you freak out about whatever that thing is.
brian simpson
Yeah, it makes me feel way, way worse.
Because I think too much.
Yeah, I think way too much about it.
But I'm going to show you this damn picture.
Because I get this all the damn time.
Motherfucker.
unidentified
So...
brian simpson
God damn it.
joe rogan
What is this in relation to?
brian simpson
This is my baby picture.
I look high as a baby.
I'm gonna show you because I'm not making this up.
unidentified
Right...
brian simpson
God damn.
unidentified
Right...
brian simpson
Did I take it down?
joe rogan
You need an iPhone.
unidentified
This is bullshit.
joe rogan
You know, an iPhone, I don't know if you could do that in these primitive Android devices, but you could make folders.
brian simpson
I don't see it no way.
joe rogan
You could have like a favorites folder.
brian simpson
I could have saved it and labeled it and stuff.
joe rogan
You can't do that in your little Google photo gallery?
I'm sure I can.
Do you have all your pictures just lumped in together?
brian simpson
Man, I'm...
joe rogan
You don't have no albums?
brian simpson
I'm like semi-organized.
I'm organizing a bunch.
joe rogan
Wait a minute then.
Why do you like gadgets so much?
I thought you'd like them because they help you organize shit.
brian simpson
I just like them because it feels like the future.
I feel like I'm tiptoed just into the future.
joe rogan
Some dudes have all their jokes written out on a spreadsheet.
brian simpson
No.
joe rogan
The time of each joke.
brian simpson
I use three different apps.
For my joke stuff.
joe rogan
Yeah, you were telling me that.
Do you use the Elephant one?
brian simpson
I use Evernote, yeah.
That's my main one just because I know that it's cross-platform, so if I ever decide to switch, I can still have it all.
joe rogan
That's a really good one.
brian simpson
But then Samsung Notes and then Google Keep is another one I use.
Somebody introduced me to one recently.
Man, because I'm telling you, the kids now, they got so much.
The Young Comics now, they're using an app called Standupper.
Yeah, and this shit, he showed it to me.
I was like, man, if I could pay somebody to transfer all my shit into it, I would.
But it's made for stand-up.
unidentified
Really?
brian simpson
Yeah, and from you writing out a bit, it'll tell you how long it is.
joe rogan
No shit.
Huh.
brian simpson
Yeah, yeah.
joe rogan
So a comic created or someone who likes comedy?
brian simpson
A comic showed it to me, and from using it, I'm almost positive a fucking comic made it.
Because there's no way you would know that it's perfect for comedy.
joe rogan
Interesting.
brian simpson
Yeah, you have a little audio.
It tells you how long everything is.
joe rogan
Interesting.
brian simpson
You can put little tags on shit.
I was like, damn, who thought of all of this?
jamie vernon
They bombed that set.
That was a great set.
The set was meh.
joe rogan
Oh, interesting.
brian simpson
Yeah.
joe rogan
Oh, so you write down your experiences at every open mic?
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
That's heavy.
brian simpson
Yeah, and it's like they're getting meticulous with it.
I'm telling you, it's almost like the way that we were talking about Khabib, where it's like...
The new generation of fighters that's coming up are learning how to counter that.
And so they're going to be unbelievable.
The new comics that are coming up now, some of them are going to be fucking incredible.
joe rogan
And they're learning at an accelerated rate because they have all the access to all the greats of all time on YouTube.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
You could go on...
Red Fox...
Roddy Dangerfield, Sam Kinison.
You could get anyone.
Richard Pryor, Eddie Murphy.
You can get all these specials.
You could watch them all.
You could watch anything you want.
You could watch it all day long.
If you wanted to sit down and just watch Roddy Dangerfield all day long, you could just get on YouTube.
brian simpson
You know what holds up?
It's Sanford and Son.
joe rogan
Oh, yeah.
brian simpson
That shit makes me laugh.
joe rogan
Oh, my God.
brian simpson
Still.
Red Foxx.
You know, he invented the comedy album.
unidentified
Really?
brian simpson
He basically, yeah, he was the first person to put comedy on an album.
joe rogan
Stand-up?
brian simpson
Yeah, stand-up.
Yeah.
Wow.
To my understanding.
Jamie, can you factor?
joe rogan
Well, he used to run a comedy club in L.A., and he would record there.
And I bought a series of Richard Pryor cassettes from a gas station once.
brian simpson
Cassettes?
joe rogan
Yeah, they had cassettes.
You know, the gas stations used to have these cassette racks.
You'd pull in to get gas, like some road trip.
And, you know, I'm on the road doing stand-up.
And I pull into this place, and I'm like, get a snack or something.
And they always have, like, hats and trinkets and shit.
And they would have cassettes so you could buy shit that you could listen to.
Because there was no Sirius XM radio.
There was none of that back then.
unidentified
Right, right.
joe rogan
So I found these recordings from Red Fox's Comedy Club, and they're available now.
You can get some of them, I think.
At least one of them, for sure, on YouTube.
You can get the whole recording.
But it was crazy, man.
It was like you could hear the clink of the glasses.
It was Richard Pryor fucking around on stage, just like inventing shit and being loose.
And early, early days, man.
brian simpson
It's important to have a place where you feel that comfortable.
joe rogan
Have a club where you feel at home and you can fuck around.
You know, that's how Earthquake got so strong.
You know the Earthquake story?
brian simpson
No, but I know he's a beast.
joe rogan
He's a beast, dude.
He took over a comedy club in Atlanta.
And when he took over this comedy club in Atlanta, he had to be on stage every night.
So he was on stage constantly.
So he was doing like what the Beatles did when they went to Hamburg and they were playing like eight hours a day.
That's how they got so good.
That's also in that Malcolm Gladwell book.
When the Beatles went back to Liverpool, everybody's like, what the fuck did you guys do?
How are you so good?
Like, what the hell happened?
brian simpson
That's what I did.
Numbers.
joe rogan
Just numbers.
brian simpson
When I first started, I was pretty bad.
But then I started working at this comedy club that had just opened.
And so I was learning how to do everything.
I was basically their first door guy.
And I fucking ran the shows and sold the tickets and sat and answered the phones and did every fucking thing.
And I was on stage every fucking night.
And I only went there.
And then everybody else saw me that hadn't seen me and was like, how the fuck did you?
And I was like, I was just doing this every day.
Like, literally every day.
joe rogan
Every day.
brian simpson
Yeah.
And I don't know if I can do that now.
joe rogan
Don't say that.
brian simpson
Yeah?
Every night?
joe rogan
If you had to.
You could definitely do it.
It's a lot of fun.
brian simpson
Well, see, but back then...
I think I overcorrected.
Because back then, like I said, I was so excited to finally find my thing that I became obsessed about it.
But it was to the detriment of everything else in my life.
joe rogan
That's how it always works.
brian simpson
Yeah.
It was like, yeah.
So I was like, it wasn't healthy, but it was necessary.
joe rogan
Yeah.
If you want to get really good at everything, that's the problem.
Like someone has a quote about that.
brian simpson
It's like, that's why Tom Brady getting divorced.
joe rogan
You think that's why?
brian simpson
Yeah, because you can't be that good and be a good...
You can't be a great anything and be a great...
joe rogan
A good other things.
brian simpson
Yeah, I mean, maybe you can be great at two...
Maybe you can be a great husband and a great...
Quarterback.
But you can't be a great quarterback, a great husband, a great father, a great friend, you know, a great businessman.
Yeah, it's like, you can't!
joe rogan
That's why they're getting on for that FTX shit.
Like, do you think he read that?
Do you think he had any idea what that even was about?
brian simpson
No.
joe rogan
They just said, I'll give you $5 million to say this, and he was like, alright.
Or whatever it was, probably more than that.
brian simpson
Yeah, he's like, sure.
In the middle of watching film, he's like, oh yeah.
joe rogan
Yeah, I'll do it.
Yeah, exactly.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
He's probably laser-obsessed with football.
brian simpson
Yeah, I think the best you can be...
If you want to be a great comedian, the best you can be is a very good anything else.
joe rogan
Right.
brian simpson
Yeah.
You can be a very good dad.
You can be a very good husband and a great comedian.
joe rogan
I think there was also like the wife didn't want him to go back to playing football.
Yeah.
She wanted him to like...
brian simpson
Because she's tired of being second.
Yeah.
Women don't like...
Listen, why you think...
If you ask the average woman how they feel about their husband's PlayStation, they gonna all be like...
They fucking hate that device because he chooses it over them constantly.
Right?
And I feel like...
joe rogan
That's very interesting.
brian simpson
I feel like the way people feel...
The way some people feel loved is they need to know that you'll...
They need to know that you'll pick them over that other thing.
joe rogan
Right, right, right.
brian simpson
At least sometimes.
And they'll start creating scenarios.
Well, what if...
A bunch of comics have jokes about their wife going, if I had no legs, would you still love me?
And shit like that.
And it's the same thing.
They start creating scenarios where like, okay, babe, I love that you're a comedian.
I know that that's how I met you.
And it's the most important thing in your life.
But my mom just died.
Can't you come to the...
No.
I have a gig.
You know what I mean?
It's our anniversary.
You went out the last three nights, can't you?
No.
Eventually, that shit's gonna get exhausting.
I can't get you to pick me ever!
It's not gonna last.
joe rogan
It depends though.
Some women are supportive of that.
brian simpson
Yeah, remember that movie?
Have you seen that documentary?
Oh yeah, you talked to the guy.
Which one?
The solo clown guy?
joe rogan
Yes.
brian simpson
Same thing with that.
He told that girl, I'm going to always pick this climbing shit.
You know what I'm saying?
I'm going to always climb.
joe rogan
Yeah.
brian simpson
Go home.
joe rogan
Like, if you are the greatest of the great.
brian simpson
Yeah, if you're going to be the greatest of the great, you can't be...
joe rogan
Yeah.
You don't have time for anything else.
brian simpson
No!
joe rogan
How many people are trying to be the greatest quarterback of all time?
It's like him and a couple other dudes in the conversation, right?
brian simpson
Yeah, because it's a delicate balance.
If you're trying to make that happen on purpose.
I forget the kid's name, but they called him Robo Quarterback.
Where his dad tried to make him that.
joe rogan
Yeah.
brian simpson
And it drove him nuts.
jamie vernon
Marinovich?
brian simpson
Yeah, Marinovich.
joe rogan
Todd Marinovich.
brian simpson
Yeah, and it's like, you can't, because it's a delicate balance, because you've got to instill it in him, but you can't.
joe rogan
Yeah.
brian simpson
Yeah.
joe rogan
That Marinovich guy went on to train BJ Penn.
brian simpson
Really?
joe rogan
Yeah, yeah.
He trained B.J. Penn for some of the greatest fights that B.J. ever had because B.J. had like an endless gas tank.
So he trained him in strength and conditioning and he had this idea that strength and conditioning was the most important thing and that you're fighting, you already know how to fight.
Like you're B.J. Penn.
You know how to do it.
You don't need to work on sparring and hitting the bag and timing and all that stuff.
You already know that shit.
What's really important is you have an endless gas tank.
A fucking insane gas tank.
And so they put him on these wild plyometric exercises.
They broke that dude for like six weeks.
But when he fought, like when he fought Sean Shirk and when he fought Diego Sanchez, that version of BJ Penn, that version, I put that version up against anybody alive or dead.
brian simpson
Yeah, he was a monster.
joe rogan
He was a monster.
When people talk about the greatest of all time, you've got to include BJ in his prime.
BJ in his prime.
People always want to look at a fighter, you look at the overall body of their work, and you make an average of their performances.
You can't do that with BJ, because in the later stages of his career, that's not the same BJ. And we don't take care of these guys.
But also, you can only burn that hot for a short amount of time when you're that good.
BJ was so ferocious in that period.
I think that's very hard to maintain, that intensity that he had.
But in that time, man, he was fucking good.
brian simpson
Did he go against GSP? Yes, he did.
He beat him, right?
joe rogan
No, GSP beat him up, man.
GSP beat him up.
He beat Matt Hughes, though.
brian simpson
But that wasn't in his prime when GSP beat him?
joe rogan
Well, no.
It was in his prime.
It was a different weight class.
brian simpson
Oh, okay.
joe rogan
BJ was going up to 170 to fight Matt Hughes, who was the welterweight champion.
But BJ was a natural guy.
He didn't take steroids.
He didn't fuck around with anything like that.
So he just was BJ Penn.
He was like the same size as he was when he's fighting people at 155 pounds and George St. Pierre is a powerhouse.
He's a very physically imposing fighter and his top game was fucking ruthless, man.
He would get guys down and beat the shit out of them, man.
George St. Pierre was a bad man in his prime.
He was a bad man and he was much bigger and he was very angry at BJ. BJ was talking all this shit and B.J. was saying that they're going to fight to the death.
He said that, like, to the death, and I'm serious.
We're going to fight to the death.
Jesus Christ.
And everybody's like, oh my God.
brian simpson
Remember when Matt Hughes beat GSP? Didn't that happen?
joe rogan
Yes, yes.
He caught him with a far side arm bar.
It was a thing of beauty.
brian simpson
Like one of the greatest upsets ever?
joe rogan
No, no, it wasn't upset.
That was at the time when Matt was the champ.
brian simpson
And that was, because now my memory is fucked up.
I'm so high.
But GSP was coming back.
joe rogan
No, no, no.
GSP won after that, but GSP lost their first encounter.
Their first encounter, Matt Hughes took him down and he caught him in a far side arm bar.
And I think GSP was going for a Kimura, and the counter to the Kimura was the far side arm bar.
So he went to hit the Kimura, and as he went to hit the Kimura, he didn't have control of Matt Hughes' body.
So Matt Hughes spun around him, and it was beautiful.
It's like a thing of beauty, like a black belt level submission.
brian simpson
See if you can find that.
Didn't he beat everyone that beat him?
Everyone he lost to, he came back a decent.
joe rogan
Everyone, yeah.
Dude, GSP was the fucking man.
And the nicest guy on earth.
You would never believe he's a stone-cold killer.
He's so friendly, so nice.
Fucking sweetest guy you're ever going to want to run into.
brian simpson
Is he on your GOAT list?
joe rogan
Oh yeah, 100%.
Yeah, if there's GOAT lists, he's on it.
So here's Matt Hughes on top.
And he's punching them and see what George tries to do.
He tries to stop it by going for a Kimura.
So the counter to the Kimura is the far side arm bar.
And that's the counter.
And he hits it perfectly.
That's brilliant.
That is like high-level black belt version of a submission.
Watch this spin.
Spin takes it.
Boom.
I mean, it's fucking art.
That's art.
That's the art in martial arts.
And someone hits a thing like that, like, God.
And you can look at that forever.
Like, for as long as there's YouTube, as long as there's all these video platforms, you'll be able to see that Farsight online.
brian simpson
I watched a video the other day that was like the rarest submissions.
joe rogan
The rarest ever?
brian simpson
The rarest submissions in MMA, yeah.
joe rogan
That would have to be the Twister, followed by the Alma Plata, and maybe the Calf Slicer.
brian simpson
Well, there were some that, like, those were all on the list.
But it was actually, like, not the submissions themselves, but, like, the actual times that it happened.
joe rogan
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
The actual times.
I think in the UFC there's only been two or three twisters.
And I think the same thing is like only two or three omoplatas.
And I know of one calf slicer submission that I'm thinking about, and that's Charles Oliveira.
brian simpson
Yeah, this was it.
joe rogan
Oh, this is the twister.
Well, that's called the crotch ripper, actually.
That is from the same position that you slide into the crotch.
I love that move.
jamie vernon
Does it rip your tan apart?
joe rogan
It rips your legs apart.
brian simpson
Yeah, I mean, bro.
joe rogan
Do it again.
I'll show it again.
This is where it comes from.
Where it comes from, it's like back control.
You get a lockdown on one leg.
See, he's got a lockdown on the right leg.
And he takes the left leg, rather.
He takes the right leg and stretches it out.
brian simpson
And look, I don't give a fuck how much you training.
Your survival instincts kick in when your nuts feel like they're coming apart.
joe rogan
Yes, agreed.
unidentified
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
joe rogan
Look at that one.
Oh, look at that knee bar.
That's a nasty knee bar from the guard.
That's Usamar Palhares.
That guy is terrifying.
So that's another knee bar from the guard.
So he's got a knee bar.
He's got a half guard, and he clamps down on the leg and gets his body sideways.
So he gets all that leverage on the knee.
That's a nasty submission, too, because you probably don't have much time to tap.
brian simpson
Yeah, some of these I had never even heard of.
joe rogan
Yeah, these are definitely not all in the UFC. So this is like he got him with a guillotine.
Go back to that.
So it's like he's got him in a guillotine, but he's got him like backwards.
Oh yeah, that's crazy.
And it's got an arm in too, and he's like all the way over to the side.
That's crazy leverage.
This is a buggy choke.
This happens pretty rarely.
There's more and more buggy chokes in jujitsu now than ever before.
The Rutolo brothers are masters at it.
But these submissions like this with the buggy choke in UFC, I think there's only been a few.
jamie vernon
He's out right there, right?
joe rogan
Yeah, he's out cold.
brian simpson
Who's being choked?
Oh, okay.
joe rogan
The guy on top of him.
So what it is, is the guy gets you inside.
Go back to the buggy choke.
Guy gets you inside control, which is usually a good position to be in.
But what you do is you reach up, you grab your own leg, you trap his neck in between your leg and your arm.
So you see how he's pulling that right there?
brian simpson
So it's like a triangle.
Is the black dude getting choked right now?
joe rogan
The guy on the bottom with the hair is the one that's applying the choke.
So it's hard to see because his legs are the same color.
It's not...
brian simpson
He's grabbing his own leg.
joe rogan
Let it play out and you'll get to see.
And so he lets him go.
Both guys are white guys.
brian simpson
Oh, okay.
joe rogan
So watch, I think.
I'm not sure about that.
jamie vernon
He's holding his arm here and his leg is in there holding the pressure down.
joe rogan
Yeah, it's basically like a triangle choke.
But you're doing it.
See, he's got his arm.
You want me to explain it to you?
brian simpson
So this is his arm.
Right.
joe rogan
That's the guy who's winning.
So he's got his arms clasped together.
And see how this one arm that's clasped together over his own foot is pinned down against that dude's neck.
So what you have on, you have one side, you have he's cutting off the carotid artery with his right shoulder, or his left shoulder rather.
On the other side, he's using his left leg.
So he's got the two of them together connected and squishing the neck.
See?
See how he's doing that?
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
So it's like he's using his own arm and he's got that guy's arm in place.
I mean, it's fucking brilliant.
brian simpson
Oh, this is vicious.
joe rogan
That's nasty.
That's like a Kimura from the back.
That's like, yeah, he's doing a Kimura from back control.
brian simpson
The Boston Crab.
Somebody got submitted with you.
joe rogan
Oh yeah, I saw that too.
Yeah, that's probably the rarest.
That might be the rarest.
Yeah?
Yeah, I don't know of any other people that I've ever even heard of.
I'm sure it's happened.
I'm sure it's happened on some regional scene or something like that.
unidentified
I didn't know about it.
joe rogan
Yeah, that could never happen in the UFC. If it did, the matchmakers have some fucking explaining to do.
brian simpson
Yeah.
Or maybe it was like UFC 1 or 2. Maybe like a long time ago, but not now.
joe rogan
Well, it could be that a guy gets hurt.
And when guys get hurt, they don't know what's going on.
And people can put them in compromising positions much easier.
jamie vernon
Well, since we watched the whole video, the number one here, I believe what's happening here, the guy on the bottom...
joe rogan
Oh, he's doing like a teepee, but he's doing it to his ribcage.
Instead of doing it as a choke, he's just crushing his ribs and his body with his arm and his legs together.
So he's just crushing the dude's ribs.
brian simpson
Yeah, I'm pretty sure that this guy is like, he says in the beginning of the video that they aren't actually like ranked in order.
joe rogan
Google teepee triangle.
So there's guys that are finishing triangles now, and Eddie called it the teepee.
Because it looks like a teepee.
You get your legs up there, and you get his arm in like a triangle, but instead of cinching it down, the way he tapped Hoyler in Brazil, instead of cinching it down, you clasp your hands together, and when they do that, is he going to get it here?
So when you do that, you have a pinch.
See the S-grip, and he's pinching his legs together?
unidentified
Right, right, right.
joe rogan
So it's like a no-arm triangle.
Or rather, it's a one-arm triangle.
He does have one arm in.
And he puts him to sleep.
He had the left arm in.
So the other one has no, the buggy choke has no arms.
What are you guys doing?
The guy's got his back.
jamie vernon
No, these two on the side.
joe rogan
I don't know.
jamie vernon
They're like fighting to talk to him or something.
joe rogan
What's going on?
brian simpson
They're probably coaching.
joe rogan
Yeah.
He's probably trying, keeping his friend from being stupid.
I don't know.
That seems very weird.
Is that what it is?
It says tap tag.
That's what it says.
Oh my god, that is what it is.
Oh my god, that's hilarious.
They have tag team jujitsu.
That is hilarious.
Show how he sets it up again.
So yeah, it is no arms.
So look, watch.
When he gets the leg across, he pops it out, and now he's got Man, does he have the arm on the left side?
No, he has the arm on the left side.
brian simpson
No, he doesn't have it in.
jamie vernon
He reached for a tag there before he passed out.
joe rogan
Right, but the left side, it seems like the arm's trapped, right?
brian simpson
Oh, you're talking about the dude in the yellow's arm?
joe rogan
Yeah.
Back it up a little bit.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's trapped.
That was the only thing that makes sense.
I have seen people do scissor chokes without an arm in, where guys' legs squeezed are so good if they get a hold of your neck, particularly if they get you in a crucifix position, you can't defend right.
They clamp down on your neck just with their legs just squeezing like a scissors position.
brian simpson
Bro, in those situations, man, a lot of times, your life really is in those referees' hands.
joe rogan
Oh, yeah, for sure.
brian simpson
Because it doesn't take that long.
Like, if it's a blood choke, it doesn't take that long for you to die.
joe rogan
Right.
If somebody lets you hold on to that for, like, five minutes.
brian simpson
Oh, yeah.
I don't even think it's that long.
joe rogan
How long before it kills you?
brian simpson
It's seconds.
It's not minutes.
Really?
Yeah, I think you probably have, like, 15 seconds.
If they cut off the blood right here, it's not that long.
I don't know the exact amount of time, but you don't have that long for a blood choke.
Jesus Christ.
You have way more time if they cut off your air than you do if they hit the arteries.
Because the blood choke, your brain is literally not getting oxygen.
joe rogan
20 seconds.
A well applied blood choke may lead to unconsciousness.
10 to 20 seconds.
Injury or death is plausible if the arteries remain constricted for more than 20 seconds.
brian simpson
Okay, yeah.
joe rogan
Compared to strangulation with the hands, properly applied blood chokes require little physical strength.
That's not true.
That's not true.
brian simpson
Yeah, I mean, you could choke, but you could blood choke somebody with their own...
joe rogan
But it depends on who you're choking.
That's a ridiculous thing to say.
brian simpson
Right, right, right.
joe rogan
You need some physical strength.
I mean, you don't need to be, like, super-duper strong.
brian simpson
That was misworded.
I think they meant you...
It doesn't take that much pressure.
joe rogan
But there's a lot, man.
There's a lot going on.
What's going on when you're choking somebody?
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
That's not true, really.
Like, you can do it like this, but it requires physical strength.
It definitely does.
brian simpson
You definitely have to have.
joe rogan
I mean, 100% it's technique, but there's physical strength in this.
Also, when you get your arm around someone's neck, and then you get this behind the neck like this, there's all this struggling to get this hand down in there.
There's a lot going on.
And then once you get it in there, the guy's trying to peel your arms off, and you just...
unidentified
Squeeze.
brian simpson
Your jaw's getting pushed to the side.
joe rogan
You're fucking squeezing.
There's a lot of physical strength involved, especially if you're doing it to someone who's strong.
The idea of saying there's not a lot of physical strength, what if someone's strong?
brian simpson
Of course there is.
No, but I think you're interpreting it as like someone fighting back.
joe rogan
Right.
brian simpson
They're just talking about it doesn't take that much strength for me.
joe rogan
To cut it off.
unidentified
Right.
joe rogan
Well, that's true then.
That's true.
I'm thinking about it from a jujitsu perspective because I'm high.
brian simpson
He's like, what?
There's plenty of counters.
What are you talking about?
joe rogan
I just don't like when people diminish the...
brian simpson
The arts?
joe rogan
What's necessary.
brian simpson
The deadly arts.
joe rogan
Well, you know, I don't want people to get a false sense of what works and doesn't work.
brian simpson
Well, there's a lot of that shit going out.
joe rogan
There's always going to be that.
brian simpson
Yeah.
joe rogan
There's always going to be that.
Jiu-jitsu's hard.
brian simpson
It's fucking hard to do.
Do you know of any survival myths that are bullshit?
joe rogan
Survival myths?
brian simpson
Yeah, like people go, you know...
It's like all these old wives tales about what to do if you're in the wilderness.
joe rogan
Like if you see a bear.
brian simpson
Yeah, and most of it's wrong.
Most of it'll get you killed.
joe rogan
Like what'll get you killed?
brian simpson
Like rationing water.
It's like you're better off rationing your sweat than water.
Because if you don't hydrate, real quick you're gonna get stupid.
joe rogan
Yeah, and you gotta drink your own piss.
brian simpson
Yeah, but it's way better for you to hydrate fully as long as you can than it is for you to be 10% hydrated for a long, drawn-out amount of time.
Because you're gonna do dumb shit.
You're gonna just be dumb from the beginning.
joe rogan
And if you can drink your piss, you have to.
You gotta drink your piss.
brian simpson
What is it?
joe rogan
It seems like a piss salesman here.
jamie vernon
Playing dead if a bear attacks?
joe rogan
That only works sometimes.
No, it works sometimes.
See, here's the thing.
It depends on why the bear is attacking you.
Is the bear attacking you because of predation?
Is it trying to kill you?
Or is the bear attacking you because you think it's a threat?
If he thinks you're a threat and they minimize you and you play dead, they may stop attacking you.
But the question is, how the fuck do you know?
When do you know?
How much do you have to move before the bear decides to bite you again?
Yeah, I saw the Revenant.
Dude, that's based on a real story.
Yeah.
Roughly based on a real story.
It happened in the Drive Steve Rinella Nuts because it happened in the Great Plains.
But the way they made it, they made it like it was, I think it happened in the Great Plains in real life.
But it happened in a totally different environment, and they filmed it in the rainforest.
Myth, if a shark attacks you, punch it in the nose.
That's a myth?
It's really hard to land a solid punch in the nose of a moving shark.
Jesus Christ.
jamie vernon
I just saw a video.
I think they filmed it for the new Shark Week, probably.
There's a guy in a plexiglass just under the water tank cage, they're calling it.
This fucking gigantic great white comes and starts circling him.
joe rogan
Oh, fuck that.
jamie vernon
And it just fucking attacks him from the bottom and breaks right through the fucking cage.
joe rogan
Oh my god.
Dude, don't show me this.
brian simpson
Show me it.
joe rogan
Show me it.
brian simpson
Did the water immediately fill up with shit?
Because I would have shit my pants in that water.
jamie vernon
I think they filmed it for something.
That's why we haven't seen all of the video yet.
brian simpson
Imagine trusting a motherfucker and losing your life because you trusted it.
Like when Owen Hart died.
Imagine all the motherfuckers that told him all those things were good and strapped in and boom.
And he jumps from the roof and it breaks.
joe rogan
Oh my god.
brian simpson
Oh, that makes me so mad.
jamie vernon
This actually didn't just happen.
It happened in the summer.
joe rogan
So this dude is in a plexiglass box.
jamie vernon
There's the box.
joe rogan
There's the box.
And he's there in the water.
And here's a shark.
See it?
unidentified
Boom.
joe rogan
And it comes right through the fucking plexiglass.
Easily could have bit him.
Look at that.
Easily could have got him.
brian simpson
They had to know this.
They had to know this.
joe rogan
That's what I'm saying.
brian simpson
You a goddamn fool.
joe rogan
This is what I'm saying.
brian simpson
You a goddamn fool.
joe rogan
What if the producers are like, listen.
You want this show to get some fucking attention or not?
That's what we do.
We give them a plexiglass box.
A plexiglass box.
Is it going to stop the shark?
Experts say.
brian simpson
We have it right here in the paperwork.
joe rogan
It's going to stop the shark.
brian simpson
It's shark proof.
jamie vernon
So the guy that they're interviewing, he says there's no cage that will stop a great white shark.
It's just something to help.
They'll break through anything.
brian simpson
He says we told him it was shark resistant.
joe rogan
How crazy is that?
There's no cage that'll stop a great white shark?
These motherfuckers are still going shark diving?
Are you out of your fucking mind?
That looks so flimsy, dude.
That looks like an In-N-Out box.
brian simpson
Well, yeah.
I mean, look, there's nothing that you can see through that's gonna stop a shark.
unidentified
Look at this, dude.
joe rogan
Look at this.
Look at this thing go through this.
It barely misses that guy.
Like, barely misses biting him in half.
He's just got a wetsuit on, man.
It blows right by him.
brian simpson
And I'm not, I'm not, I'm, oh no.
joe rogan
The fucked up thing is he's trying to eat him, man.
That's the most fucked up thing.
Show that again.
The reason why it's going at him is because it wants to eat him.
jamie vernon
Yeah, it had already brushed by and, like, touched it once to find out, like, oh, no, actually, I'm going to come back after this thing.
joe rogan
Bro, watch this.
Look at this.
This is coming to eat him.
Bro, fuck the ocean.
Fuck the ocean, dude.
brian simpson
And the homie's just filming it.
joe rogan
A lady just got killed in Maui.
brian simpson
From what?
joe rogan
From a great white, they believe.
Not a great white.
They're not sure what shark it was.
Great whites aren't in Maui.
It would either be like maybe a tiger shark or something.
brian simpson
But what was she doing?
joe rogan
They were snorkeling.
And the people on the beach were watching this shark and this thrashing around and they yelled at the husband to come in.
jamie vernon
The body was not recovered.
unidentified
Jesus Christ.
brian simpson
I've always had an intense fear of the ocean.
And the only time I've ever been in the ocean is I got talked to by a girl when I was in high school.
And I immediately got stung on both feet by a jellyfish.
Never went back again.
When I go to the beach, I chill on the sand.
joe rogan
Meanwhile, there's a girl who, she was 13 years old.
She got her arm bitten off by a shark surf and she got right back on the board.
brian simpson
Right after?
joe rogan
Oh yeah, she's got one arm now.
brian simpson
Oh, I'm a retardant.
joe rogan
No, no, not that day.
Oh my God, she got back.
Oh my God.
Can you imagine?
brian simpson
We're too high.
joe rogan
Yeah, we're too high.
I probably did a bad job explaining it.
brian simpson
That's such a dumb question.
joe rogan
I fucked that up.
Because in my head, I should have said, and once she healed up.
brian simpson
Oh, right.
You said she got right back on the boat.
That's a bad bitch.
joe rogan
So she got her arm bitten off by the...
Is it a video?
No, I don't think so.
Okay, so she's a wicked surfer, and she's doing it all with one arm.
She lost her fucking arm to a shark, man, and she's right back at it.
jamie vernon
Here's her video of it happening.
joe rogan
The video of the shark biting her?
jamie vernon
I don't want to see that.
Don't show me that.
joe rogan
That is brave as fuck.
Not only do you know it can happen to you, it did happen to you.
There's the shark.
jamie vernon
Fuck that!
joe rogan
Dude, fuck that!
Fuck that!
I know all you people, all you Shane Dorians out there.
You love it.
All you Kelly Slaters.
World Championship surfers?
Surfer who's a good friend of mine.
He's the best.
He's a big wave surfer.
He's the craziest of surfers.
brian simpson
But you know what though?
joe rogan
Laird Hamilton, fuck you.
brian simpson
But people look at what you do and say the same thing.
joe rogan
No, no, no.
There's no sharks in my world.
brian simpson
Look at this!
jamie vernon
You don't want to do that.
joe rogan
What?
jamie vernon
No one wants to do that.
joe rogan
Oh my god, that's Shane.
Look at him.
Look at that wave he's riding.
What kind of psychoticness is this?
brian simpson
Look, I know that the danger isn't the same.
joe rogan
Look at that.
Look at that.
Look at the size of that fucking wave he's on, dude.
Imagine if that thing comes crashing down on you.
Look at the height of that thing.
And he's riding this with his balance on this ever-changing landscape of water.
He's floating with a fucking billion pounds of water overhead, ready to collapse on him at any moment and hopefully not knock him unconscious.
Because when that water hits you like that, a lot of people just go out, man.
brian simpson
Yeah, these people, they just build different.
joe rogan
Dude.
brian simpson
But look, like I was saying, the danger isn't the same, but the fear is the same.
People look at what you're doing and they go, oh, you're going to go up and speak in front of 50,000 people?
Like, that's insane to the average person.
They would never.
To them, they look at you just like, you're just as crazy as this motherfucker.
joe rogan
Well, I'm letting them know.
brian simpson
It's not the same.
joe rogan
You're incorrect.
It's way harder.
Fucking anybody can do this with practice.
brian simpson
But you know what?
To them...
They look at that the same way we look at stand-up.
Where it's like, you go after stage time and they would never.
And they look at that like, oh, there's a wave over there?
joe rogan
Right.
brian simpson
Where?
joe rogan
Bro, they get jet skied out.
You ever see that?
They get dragged out to the biggest waves, these crazy waves.
You're so far, you can't even get back on your own without that wave.
brian simpson
That's crazy, man.
Yeah, the surfers, people that do extreme sports, they lost me.
They lost me.
joe rogan
See if you can get a video of them getting pulled by jet skis out to these...
They do it, I think it's out near...
I believe there's a big one near Mexico that they love, that they go out to.
brian simpson
But isn't everything shifting because of climate change and shit?
Aren't the waves...
I just would imagine so.
I don't know, though.
joe rogan
I haven't heard anything.
I don't study waves.
brian simpson
All the stuff is moving.
joe rogan
Look at this.
They're jet skied out here.
Look at how far they are from land.
jamie vernon
Let's see if he's also saved them.
Oh, that's good.
They go get them when they crash.
joe rogan
That's a good point.
Because if you get hit by one of these fucking waves...
unidentified
Jesus!
brian simpson
Well, imagine being the dude that forgot to gas it up.
joe rogan
Have you ever seen the highest wave anyone has ever surfed successfully?
brian simpson
No.
joe rogan
You want to shit your pants?
It's like when you know those dudes are like walking on the top of skyscrapers like balancing with GoPros and you're like Jesus fucking Christ your hands get sweaty.
That's how I feel about this one.
Do biggest wave ever surfed.
brian simpson
How tall is it?
joe rogan
That's a good question.
brian simpson
Look at this.
joe rogan
Watch this.
brian simpson
Largest wave surfed.
joe rogan
Watch this dude.
unidentified
Look at the size of that thing.
joe rogan
Look at the size of that wave, dude.
That's insanity.
brian simpson
What is that, 50-something feet?
joe rogan
Who the fuck knows, man?
brian simpson
The term unlimited means that the surfer is towed to the wave, enabling them to catch waves that would be too strong to be caught.
jamie vernon
Otherwise.
brian simpson
Otherwise.
joe rogan
Oh, that's why they do it.
Because they would never be able to keep up with it.
jamie vernon
78 feet.
joe rogan
That makes sense.
78 feet.
unidentified
78 feet.
brian simpson
That's crazy.
unidentified
Dude.
brian simpson
But one of these days, a surfer's going to get caught out when it's like a tidal wave.
78. I mean, they're going to get lucky and unlucky.
jamie vernon
That's what they're looking for.
brian simpson
Oh, yeah.
They want to die on that motherfucker.
jamie vernon
The perfect storm.
Have you ever seen that movie?
brian simpson
Yeah.
Because they're going to catch like a 150-foot wave because an earthquake just happened to hit while they was out there.
joe rogan
Oh, my God.
brian simpson
And they might not survive, but they're going to be like, but I'm going out.
joe rogan
Going out.
brian simpson
A legend.
joe rogan
Yeah, that's true.
You would.
A lot of guys have in that world.
I mean, that's their risk versus reward.
You know, they live for it.
brian simpson
And there's way less money in it.
The people that make a good living from it, it's such a small percentage of the surfers in the world.
joe rogan
Yeah, I can only imagine.
brian simpson
And surfing's hard to get into, man, because I didn't realize...
They're very territorial.
If you're new somewhere and you're like, I'm just out here trying to figure it out, they'll hurt you.
jamie vernon
This is the plot to Point Break you're explaining right now.
brian simpson
Man, this is a movie I haven't heard of in a long time.
joe rogan
Isn't that Patrick Swayze and Keanu Reeves?
R.I.P. Patrick Swayze, man.
brian simpson
Yeah, this movie was great.
joe rogan
Roadhouse is the greatest movie to watch High ever.
brian simpson
Roadhouse?
joe rogan
I've never heard of that movie.
Roadhouse with Patrick Swayze?
You've never heard of that movie?
It's amazing.
It's amazing.
It's so over the top that if you're high, you just need to be a little high and it teeters into the absolutely preposterous.
brian simpson
Is it 90s or 80s?
joe rogan
It's amazing.
brian simpson
Okay, yeah, yeah.
joe rogan
It's amazing.
brian simpson
That was when Patrick Swayze was that dude.
Remember Ghost?
joe rogan
Oh, yeah.
brian simpson
He was in Ghost with Whoopi.
I loved Whoopi Goldberg when I was little.
joe rogan
You gotta watch this.
Give me some volume.
jamie vernon
That'd be like a nice podcast for you guys to do, Brian, if you guys have never seen it.
Watching it now.
brian simpson
Just watching Patrick Swayze movies?
jamie vernon
Well, that or the...
joe rogan
This is the evil guy that owns the town.
jamie vernon
Opinions vary.
unidentified
Anything can happen.
Just lucky I guess And usually does Look at this If somebody gets in your face I want you to be nice Don't be rude Ask him to walk, but be nice.
Help this gentleman to the door.
Until it's time to not be nice.
brian simpson
So says the fighting philosopher.
All this to do from Big Lebowski.
unidentified
Yes.
I keep talking, you're going to go off thinking I'm a nice guy.
Of course!
brian simpson
Holy shit.
unidentified
He's all karate down on there.
He's all karate down on there.
joe rogan
Well, Patrick Swayze was like a dancer, so he wasn't necessarily like a martial arts expert, but he really knows how to move his body well.
brian simpson
He got famous from that.
joe rogan
Yeah.
The dancing was what, I mean, like for dirty dancing.
brian simpson
But what is this movie about?
joe rogan
About a badass, bro!
What the fuck is wrong with you?
brian simpson
Okay.
joe rogan
And that's the bad guy.
brian simpson
He's the bad guy.
joe rogan
Look, here's the other bad guy, the other karate bad guy.
This is a karate fight to end this shit, bro.
brian simpson
Alright.
joe rogan
One of the greatest karate fights ever.
unidentified
There's fucking guns, murder...
brian simpson
Alright, you've convinced me.
joe rogan
Roadhouse!
They're redoing it with Jake Lillenhall.
brian simpson
No, Jake can do it.
joe rogan
He'll pull it off.
I bet it's going to be great.
Joel Silver's producing it.
brian simpson
Roadhouse.
unidentified
Let me see.
brian simpson
Do they have that in there?
joe rogan
Conor McGregor's in it.
I bet it's going to be great.
brian simpson
Maybe that's why he left the Usada pool.
joe rogan
No, he hurt his leg, man.
jamie vernon
Some people said that.
Probably helped.
joe rogan
It helped a little bit.
brian simpson
Oh yeah, it's on Netflix.
joe rogan
Yeah, the original is.
The new ones, they're just starting to work on it now.
jamie vernon
Yeah, or they just finished production, I think.
joe rogan
They did some stuff at the UFC. And Jake Gyllenhaal is playing Patrick Swayze?
I think he's playing the Patrick Swayze character.
unidentified
Wow.
joe rogan
Yeah, I believe so.
Yeah, he's playing the badass.
He can pull it off.
He did that Southpaw movie.
Did you ever see that?
Dude, he got fucking shredded.
brian simpson
I think I did see it.
joe rogan
Pull up Southpaw.
It's a good fucking movie, man.
It's a heavy movie.
It's not like a cheesy movie by any stretch of the imagination.
It's a very gritty movie, very realistic movie about this guy who's really fucked up, who's a killer boxer.
brian simpson
You know what shit you gotta see?
Barbarian.
joe rogan
Look at him.
Look at him.
unidentified
Bro.
joe rogan
I mean, he got fucking jacked.
brian simpson
I think I did see this.
joe rogan
Dude, he looks like he's fighting in the UFC welterweight division.
Like, look at him.
He's fucking shredded there, dude.
brian simpson
Yeah, and this is some of the hardest acting to do.
Look at that!
Like, boxing as though it's real?
joe rogan
Right, make it look real.
Well, he pulled it off, man.
He's one of the few guys that's really pulled off looking like he knows how to box.
Daniel Day-Lewis did it in that movie, The Boxer.
And he actually trained as a boxer for a year before he did that movie.
brian simpson
Oh, yeah.
Well, Daniel Day don't fuck around.
joe rogan
Dude, he's the best version of, like, a guy who...
But Jake Gyllenhaal nailed it.
He really looks like a modern-day elite athlete that can fight.
Like, you buy it...
There's never a moment where you're like, get the fuck out of here.
Like, why is he knocking everybody out?
It seems real.
brian simpson
Yeah, he's one of the best.
joe rogan
Oh, he's phenomenal in this movie.
But what was the other movie that I said?
brian simpson
That was it?
joe rogan
No.
brian simpson
I said Barbarian.
joe rogan
No, no.
There was another box.
Oh, Daniel Day-Lewis.
Pull up Daniel Day-Lewis from The Boxer.
brian simpson
Oh, The Boxer.
joe rogan
Yeah.
brian simpson
Okay, yeah.
joe rogan
So the reason why this one is almost like...
It's almost more realistic.
Like when you see him move around, this is almost, because the other one was like all knockout punches and shit, whereas most boxing matches, they're matches.
Like a lot of shit goes on before a knockout punch.
It's not like, unless you're Mike Tyson, you're not just smashing everybody right away.
So they're showing these clips, quick clips, but in that movie, see if you can show...
This is the fight.
When you see him fight, it looks like an actual fight.
Like they're moving around and hitting each other.
He looks good, man.
He looks good.
I'm buying that.
He just knocked that guy out pretty quick, too, though.
So maybe this destroys my argument.
brian simpson
But Daniel, the way he prepares for a movie is insane.
joe rogan
He looked good there, though.
But so did Jake Gyllenhaal.
The point is Jake Gyllenhaal almost looks too good.
He's so shredded.
He looks more like a wrestler, like an MMA fighter.
There's only a few boxers that are that jacked.
There's Anthony Joshua.
There's a few guys.
Most guys are like Terrence Crawford.
They're a little leaner.
They're not quite as muscular.
He got pretty muscular.
brian simpson
Why do you think that is?
joe rogan
Well, because you want to be the right size for the weight class, right?
So if you're in a weight class, say, like 170 pounds, you want to, like, maximize your frame.
You want to, like, fight in the weight class that your frame is suited towards.
brian simpson
Because if you're too big in the chest, you're slower because you have longer to reach.
joe rogan
There's also, like, some people are just naturally thicker, and they're built like Dwight Muhammad Kawi.
He was a heavyweight champion, and he was...
Well, he was a light heavyweight champion, and then he fought as a heavyweight, and he was like, I believe he was 5'7".
brian simpson
Oh, wow.
joe rogan
And Dwight Muhammad Kawi.
He was amazing, man.
And he fought some wars back in the day.
He fought Evander Holyfield.
I think it was cruiserweight, now that I'm thinking about it.
I think he beat Evander Holyfield for the cruiserweight title.
I think that's what it was.
I don't think it was light heavyweight.
But he was a tank, man.
And he would just cover up and move in.
You never heard of him?
brian simpson
No.
joe rogan
Dude, he was a beast.
But it's so unusual.
See, pull up Dwight Muhammad Kawi versus Evander Holyfield.
And this was on Holyfield.
It just got back from the Olympics.
brian simpson
How do you spell Kawi?
joe rogan
Q-A-W-I. And it was like when Evander, this was his first big test as a professional.
This was like a world championship fight.
brian simpson
And he lost?
joe rogan
Yeah.
No, Evander won.
Evander beat him.
That's how good Evander was.
brian simpson
Evander beat a lot of motherfuckers, man.
joe rogan
And Kawi was in his prime back then.
Look how short Kawi is, but he's just a tank.
Look at the build on that dude.
But look at his fucking defense.
It was superb.
And he was a murderous puncher.
And just mauled people and kept pressure on them.
Just a masterful defensive fighter.
And he was all over Evander.
I mean, they had a real war, man.
He tested Evander.
But Evander won a decision.
Great fight, though.
brian simpson
Great fight.
You know what?
Evander Holyfield could take an ass whooping, man.
joe rogan
Oh, fuck yeah, he could.
Remember the Riddick Bowe fights?
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Riddick Bowe was huge.
Riddick Bowe was huge and really fucking good.
brian simpson
And that was the thing about...
I think that was what frustrated so many people that are fighting him is because...
He would just take your best and just keep fucking punching you.
joe rogan
Mike Tyson.
That fight.
brian simpson
Yeah.
joe rogan
Dude, I watched that fight with Kevin James.
We couldn't believe our eyes.
I rented a house in Encino and we were watching it live on pay-per-view.
It was the craziest fight ever.
brian simpson
Especially the second one.
joe rogan
Yeah, the second one was nuts.
brian simpson
Because you were like, there's no way.
Well, I guess it was only nuts because it ended the same way.
joe rogan
You bit him in the second one.
brian simpson
Yeah.
Yeah.
joe rogan
The first one, he just beat him down.
Evander beat him down.
The second one, Tyson bit him.
He bit him twice.
brian simpson
I think in my mind growing up, Mike Tyson was the first person that I thought of as truly invincible.
I truly believed when I was a kid that nobody could beat him.
You know?
joe rogan
Everybody did.
Everybody did cuz for a while it was true.
brian simpson
And you know you know what also blew my mind is I it was the first time to Because there were people that hated him there were people that just just because he won so much there were people that were like fuck that guy of course Oh, yeah, they were like all like a lot of the old men in our neighborhood.
They like I can't wait for somebody to teach you there's a lesson, you know There was only 20 right, but they just hated it was like cuz he represented He represented the new guard.
joe rogan
Yeah, for sure.
brian simpson
All the motherfuckers they rooted for, he just beat the shit out of Larry Holmes.
joe rogan
Yeah.
But there was always those guys like, Joe Lewis woulda mop the floor with him.
brian simpson
Right, right, right.
Let him run up with Marciano.
joe rogan
There was always those guys that were pulling out people from the past.
I think Mike Tyson beats them all.
I think Mike Tyson is primed.
The Mike Tyson that beat Marvis Frazier.
The Mike Tyson that knocked out Michael Spinks.
That Mike Tyson beats them all.
I mean, he might not beat Ali.
I think he beats everybody else, though.
I just think, in his fucking prime, man, he was a force of nature.
It was knowledge, right?
You know we're talking about watching films?
His manager, Jim Jacobs, had an enormous library of old fights.
And they were on like, you know, one of those projector things.
And Mike Tyson would go down there and play old fights.
So he would play like Jack Johnson fights.
And he would play like Max Schmeling versus Joe Lewis.
Jack Dempsey.
He was a big Jack Dempsey fan.
Because Jim Jacobs had this extensive library of these great, great old fighters.
Stanley Ketchel.
All these amazing guys that nobody ever heard.
Harry Greb.
And he would watch all these.
Sugar Ray Robinson, Willy Pep, and he would watch all these and he would absorb their styles.
brian simpson
Did Willy Pep die in the ring or something?
I don't believe so.
That name stands out to me for some reason.
joe rogan
I don't believe so.
Benny Perret died in the ring.
Benny Perret was killed by Emile Griffith.
Emile Griffith beat him to death in the ring after Benny Perret teased him for being gay.
He kept talking shit about him being gay.
brian simpson
And he beat the shit out of him?
joe rogan
He beat him to death.
brian simpson
Oh, was he gay?
joe rogan
I believe so.
I believe so.
I think that was the rumor.
brian simpson
Wow.
joe rogan
He beat him to death.
brian simpson
But that wasn't illegal, right?
joe rogan
Nope.
I mean, he wasn't trying to.
He was trying to knock him out.
I forget what they call that fight.
See if you can fight that fight because that's a rough one to watch the end.
Emile Griffith versus Benny Perrette.
brian simpson
Was that the fight that changed boxing where they had to crack down on safety rules?
joe rogan
No.
The one that did that was Ray Boom Boom Mancini versus Duck Koo Kim.
That was the one where Dukku Kim died.
And I think that was when they started to go to 12 rounds.
I think they went to 12 rounds slightly after that.
Because they were doing 15 rounds before.
And I think Dukku Kim died in the 13th or 14th round.
I forget which round.
I think they had decided that 12 rounds would be the right one.
So this is Emile Griffith versus...
Benny Perrette.
And this is the one where, you know, he was taunting him.
And Emile Griffith just fucking beat the shit out of him.
brian simpson
So, I'm guessing the guy on the right was the gay guy.
joe rogan
The guy on the right is Emile Griffith, yes.
That's the gay guy.
I don't know if he's gay.
brian simpson
But that's what he was being teased about.
joe rogan
Yeah, and he was definitely being teased about that, but that was the rumor that he was.
But look, dude, he just beats the fucking show.
unidentified
Oh, yeah.
joe rogan
So he's stuck in the ropes, and Emile Griffith's just teeing off on him while he's out.
So he's trapped in the ropes, and he collapses, and then he's dead.
brian simpson
He's dead right now?
joe rogan
Yeah, he's dead, man.
unidentified
Wow.
joe rogan
Yeah, he beat him to death.
Watch that again.
Watch that combination again, because it's so crazy.
Uppercut, and then he backs up, right hand, right hand.
brian simpson
This right here?
joe rogan
Right hand.
brian simpson
The ref should have stopped it right here.
joe rogan
Right hand, right hand.
brian simpson
This is crazy.
joe rogan
Right hand, right hand.
Yeah, he's trapped.
The only thing keeping him up is the punches.
The punches are so hard, they're keeping his body upright as he's leaning up against the ropes.
brian simpson
Because he dead right here.
unidentified
Bang!
joe rogan
Well, he's out right here.
Right there you could have stopped it.
Right there for sure.
He's turning away and he's hitting it with bomb after bomb and he keeps going.
One, two, one, two, one, two, one, two.
I mean, he's just swinging at him afterwards.
brian simpson
And the refs just sit there like this.
joe rogan
Yeah.
There's been some horrific moments like that.
brian simpson
Do you remember that?
Who was the one guy?
I can't remember his fucking name, but he...
joe rogan
Ray Mercer versus Tommy Morrison.
brian simpson
Wait a minute, that's from Rocky, right?
unidentified
Yeah.
No, no, no.
joe rogan
You never saw that one?
unidentified
No.
joe rogan
That might be the worst one ever.
brian simpson
I'm talking about the guy who, he didn't die in the ring, but he had all this promise.
joe rogan
Oh, Gerald McClellan.
brian simpson
Maybe that's what I'm talking about.
joe rogan
That's 100% who you're talking about.
unidentified
Yeah, yeah.
joe rogan
He was the guy that was a rival for Roy Jones Jr. So as Roy Jones Jr. was a champ, and he was a champ, and he fought Nigel Benn.
And he almost put Nigel Benn out in the first round.
But they collided heads at one point in the fight, and Nigel Benn hit him with some real good punches, and he went down and took a knee, and then he went back to his corner, and he quit.
And they couldn't believe that he took a 10 count, and everyone was like, I can't believe he's taking a 10 count.
And he went back to his corner, and he was so fucked up.
That he just slumped over.
Yeah, this is him.
So he had Nigel Benn in all sorts of trouble.
Knocked him out of the ring, right?
Nigel Benn was one of the toughest motherfuckers to ever box.
He got back in the ring and survived.
So Nigel Benn knocked out of the ring and here's him after that.
So Gerald McClellan is just emptying the fucking gas tank here.
Just swinging with everything he had.
And Gerald McClellan was a fucking murderous puncher.
He knocked everybody out.
So he was assuming he was about to knock Nigel Benn out too.
But Nigel Benn wasn't going anywhere.
And so Gerald McClellan got fucking drained.
And then Nigel started catching him.
Look at that.
Left hook.
Nigel catches him.
And Gerald tags him again.
Right hand.
Uppercut.
But Nigel Benn just kept coming.
And look, he catches him with that right hand.
Look at that left hook.
Imagine being that hurt in the first round and Nigel Benn just comes storming out later in the fight.
Crazy the resilience.
Crazy the endurance.
So, Gerald McClellan emptied his gas tank.
And Nigel's catching him now.
Catches him with a big left hook.
And at one point in time, they collided heads.
And it was a bad one.
It was like a bang.
brian simpson
You think that's what did it?
joe rogan
No, no, no.
It was all these punches, for sure.
But it was like, I think it was a collision of heads as well that someone had identified that was really bad.
But he hit him with some fucking bombs.
Look, he dropped him again.
So Gerald eventually comes back and drops Nigel again in the eighth round.
And Nigel gets back up, and he's like, still not going anywhere.
Boom!
Hits him with the left hook.
This is after getting dropped again!
brian simpson
Imagine hitting a motherfucker with everything you got.
joe rogan
And look at this combination.
Boom!
Nigel over the top of that right hand.
So the point is, this was a fucking war.
And there's another brilliant one.
So we see where he takes a knee.
Boom!
Look at that right hand.
brian simpson
Boom!
joe rogan
Another right hand.
So that's where it was.
That's where he takes a knee.
brian simpson
Yeah, this is sad.
joe rogan
So he decided to stay down.
So he gets hit.
I guess he got up for the first one, right?
Is that what they're saying?
So he goes down a second time.
So this is the second time.
And then look, you see him like wincing in pain, like holding his head.
And that's when he decided to stay down.
And so everybody's like, I can't believe he quit on his knee like that.
But then he went back into his corner and he slumped.
And he really never recovered.
He went to the hospital and he's alive still, but he's like severely disabled.
And I believe he's blind.
brian simpson
What did it cause, like a brain bleed?
joe rogan
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I mean, that's the risk that these guys are taking, man.
I mean, that's a crazy sport.
You're throwing haymakers at each other with like thick padding over the top of it.
And that's him today.
This greatly affected Roy Jones Jr. too because you got to think that Roy and him almost fought, right?
That was like a big super fight that people were setting up for the future.
Roy and him down the line did wind up fighting.
That could have been Roy or that could have been Gerald.
It could have been either one of them.
When two guys are that good and they're swinging the way those guys were at each other, My money would have still been on Roy, though.
brian simpson
Roy in his prime was fucking stupid.
He was ridiculous.
joe rogan
In his prime, no one could touch him.
He would win entire rounds without even being hit.
brian simpson
To me, you know what I compare Roy to?
It's Anderson Silva.
joe rogan
Similar in that way.
They were just so dominant for a while.
brian simpson
And he would win in such stylish fashion.
It wasn't just that he was winning, but he just made you look silly.
You know, he was doing movie shit.
joe rogan
He was doing movie shit.
Roy put his hand behind his back and then knocked the guy out with one punch.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Put his hand behind his back, ducked, and then popped him with the right hand and knocked him out.
brian simpson
But just like both, it's like eventually it catches up to you.
Where it's like, you know, it's like you hit an age where like you don't realize but you just a millisecond slower.
joe rogan
Yeah.
There's that.
There's also this other speculation.
That speculation is that he went up to heavyweight to fight John Ruiz.
And so he had to pack on weight.
And then he went back down to light heavyweight.
And I think the losing the weight to get back down diminished him severely.
And then he fought Antonio Tarver.
Antonio Tarver was a murderous puncher and a motherfucker of a boxer Antonio Tarver could box and he said in the ring to Roy because they had had one fight previously where it went to a decision and you know and Roy had some excuses I guess and so he says in the ring for the second fight you got any excuses tonight Roy?
The referee goes, any questions?
Any questions?
And he goes, got any excuses tonight, Roy?
And Roy didn't say anything.
And Tarver wound up knocking him out.
brian simpson
And then after that, he just kept getting knocked out, right?
joe rogan
He got knocked out bad after that.
brian simpson
What do you think that is, after somebody gets knocked out?
It's almost like it's easier to knock him out after that.
joe rogan
Well, he fought Glenn Johnson after that, who was a very talented contender.
I think Glenn Johnson was a little older at the time, and maybe people overlooked him.
He really had great success later in his career, but Glenn Johnson knocked out Roy in a scary knockout.
Pull that one up.
Glenn Johnson, Roy Jones Jr. That was a scary one, because this was after the Tarver one, but the Tarver one He was conscious, but he was fucked up.
I mean, Tarver cracked him, and he went down, but he was out, right?
But he was moving around.
This one's even scarier, because he bangs the back of his head when he goes down.
And this was the comeback fight, right?
And so Glenn Johnson was like a suitable comeback opponent.
But nobody told Glenn Johnson that.
Like, Glenn Johnson came to that fight to win.
And Glenn Johnson has this high guard.
He's like a really difficult style to deal with and super, super tough guy.
Just very, very skillful.
And, you know, this was Roy coming off of getting KO'd.
And whenever a guy comes off of getting KO'd, the odds of him getting KO'd again go up.
I don't know.
It depends on the person.
Some of them it doesn't go up at all.
Some of them it only goes up slightly.
But some of them it goes up a lot.
For whatever reason.
It might be the damage they took from the first knockout.
It could be a lot of factors.
Look at this.
Boom.
He hits him with that right hand.
Look how he goes out.
He goes out stiff.
He banged his head off the ground.
Like, watch that again.
Because it is a fucking brutal series of punches he hits him with.
Here it is.
So he gets him up against the ropes, sets him up for the right hand, and boom, he's out.
One hard right hand, this side of the head, and Roy's out.
That was a rough one.
But that's nothing like Ray Mercer versus Tommy Morrison.
brian simpson
Do you think it's like your brain going, we're not taking any chances?
joe rogan
Probably.
There's probably something to that.
Get Ray Mercer versus Tommy Morrison.
This one was one of the worst.
And this one was one after the movie.
So Ray Mercer, people thought about him as, like, this, like, gold medalist in the Olympics, murderous puncher.
Like, he was a guy who was on the up.
Like, he was coming up and...
Somehow or another, they set him up with Tommy Morrison, who was a very good boxer and had beaten some good guys, but he was just coming off of this movie.
So he was in the Rocky movies, and he's fighting a guy that's just been doing nothing but boxing.
Now, Tommy Morrison's a movie star now, and he's a young guy.
He's got to be distracted.
I mean, he's got to be not focused.
unidentified
Right.
joe rogan
And he's fighting a guy that he probably would have lost to anyway, because Ray Mercer was a motherfucker.
And so Tommy is doing well in the fight for a while, but then Mercer eventually catches him because Tommy starts getting tired.
And that's one of the things about Tommy Morrison.
If you look at Tommy Morrison in the early stages of his fights, he was always better.
He would fade.
And eventually, Ray Mercer catches him.
He hits him with that right hand.
Now watch this.
Boom.
He's in trouble here, right?
Boom.
Boom.
Now this is why it's the worst one ever.
Bro.
He's tangled up in the ropes and the referee is too small to pull Mercer off of him.
So he hits him with multiple punches while he's out cold.
Look at this.
brian simpson
This is over now.
joe rogan
The referee doesn't get in there.
Look how he gets in there.
The referee's just like, hey you, stop.
brian simpson
Hey you.
joe rogan
He's scared because he's a little old guy.
He shouldn't be referee in this fight.
These are two elite heavyweights.
These are enormous men.
And this poor referee is old, got a little potbelly.
He doesn't want to dive in there and get fucking murked.
brian simpson
Yeah, yeah, you're right.
joe rogan
And so because of that, Tommy Morrison takes haymakers.
So he's out cold and Ray Mercer's just full blast, teeing off.
And another left hook after that.
While the referee was holding onto his arms.
Bro!
unidentified
Damn.
joe rogan
That might be the worst.
brian simpson
Did he survive?
joe rogan
He lived.
But he was never the same boxer again.
brian simpson
No, no way.
joe rogan
He beat some good guys after that.
He actually beat George Foreman after that.
brian simpson
Yeah, old George Foreman.
joe rogan
Old George Foreman.
He won a decision off of old George Foreman.
Look at that left hook.
Boom, boom, boom.
Right hand.
I mean, this is horrendous, dude.
We're looking at it from a different angle now.
Look at this.
I mean, come on, man.
Boom.
And then still...
He's fully out cold and he got hit four or five times clean.
This is like Benny Perrette all over again.
This easily could have been the end of his life.
unidentified
Yeah, for sure.
joe rogan
Easily could have been and probably changed his brain.
brian simpson
Because right here, like, I mean, what is this ref weight doing?
joe rogan
I mean, but seriously, dude, like, this probably changed his brain forever.
unidentified
Yeah!
brian simpson
I mean, what is it this ref is waiting to see?
joe rogan
I don't know, man.
That is a crazy beating.
brian simpson
Because when you see a motherfucker getting hit in the face and they're not trying to stop it, the fight's over.
joe rogan
You need a big referee with big men.
You need someone who can separate those guys.
brian simpson
You need Herb Dean.
He be diving in like he diving for first base.
joe rogan
Mark Goddard.
Mark Goddard's a big guy.
Big John McCarthy was always great at it.
He's a big guy.
You want a big guy for big guys.
brian simpson
I don't want no little motherfucker in there to protect me.
joe rogan
Not like that, because that's not protecting me.
He didn't want to just dive in there and separate them.
brian simpson
Who's pulling Ngannou off you?
joe rogan
Oh my god.
brian simpson
You know what I'm saying?
You need somebody that can at least move that motherfucker.
joe rogan
Yeah.
Jesus Christ.
When he knocked out Aleister Overeem and then fucking hammer fisted him when he was unconscious.
brian simpson
And that was just in the nick of time.
joe rogan
Just in the nick of time.
brian simpson
But can you imagine a referee being late on that?
joe rogan
Oh my God.
brian simpson
Like letting him hit him two or three more times?
joe rogan
Oh my god.
While he's out cold.
And he's not going to stop.
He's not going to stop until the referee pulls him off.
That's his job.
His job is not to stop when the guy's unconscious.
His job is to stop when the referee says stop.
brian simpson
Yeah.
joe rogan
Because the people have stopped when they thought a guy was out, and then the guy was okay and winds up winning a fight, which is the craziest thing to say.
But I've seen it on these local circuits.
It does happen.
Guys walk away, and the guy gets up and winds up winning the fight somehow.
I'm pretty sure I've seen that.
I might be talking shit.
brian simpson
When a guy's concussed, though, they don't get up, right?
joe rogan
No.
No, those guys don't generally get out.
I mean, different kinds of concussions are different.
Different kinds of knockouts are different.
Some people get knocked out and they come back and they're like, what happened?
Oh, fuck, man.
And then they seem fine.
brian simpson
Well, I used to be all judgmental.
I'd be like, he ain't have to hit him again!
But it's like, I'm not a fighter.
I don't fucking know.
joe rogan
Dude, they don't have to.
And people do applaud people that don't hit someone while they're out.
Like, they showed really good judgment there.
That's great.
Like, Mark Hunt was the king of the walkaway KOs.
Mark Hunt would uppercut you and just walk away.
He knew.
He'd watch you crumble and, like, you're not getting up.
brian simpson
Yeah.
Yeah, but then there's the opposite.
Like, the Black Beast...
joe rogan
Derek Lewis?
brian simpson
Derek Lewis.
He liked to see people get hurt.
joe rogan
He hits you when you're out.
brian simpson
Yeah!
joe rogan
Well, that's his job.
brian simpson
One for good measure.
joe rogan
His job is the referee has to pull him off.
The referee has to stop.
The referee has to get him to stop.
brian simpson
He's like a Genghis Khan type of motherfucker.
joe rogan
He's a bad man.
Very bad man.
The hardest puncher probably ever.
He hits guys.
He hit Curtis Blade so hard.
It was just a short uppercut.
Boom!
And Curtis just went flat out.
brian simpson
Yeah.
He's one of those people that's truly never out of a fight.
unidentified
Never.
brian simpson
Because remember when he hurt his back?
joe rogan
Yeah.
brian simpson
And when he came back, he wasn't the same.
joe rogan
Well, it sometimes locks up on him still.
brian simpson
Yeah, but he still...
joe rogan
Oh, he's always so dangerous, man.
brian simpson
Still.
joe rogan
When he fought Alexander Volkov, he was losing that fight.
brian simpson
Didn't he knock out Inganu?
joe rogan
No.
He beat Ngannou by a very boring decision.
brian simpson
Oh, okay.
joe rogan
It was one of the most boring fights of all time.
Neither guy engaged.
And there's like Derek apparently had a fucked up back and Francis was like dealing with just losing to Stipe.
And so he didn't engage much.
He's like uncharacteristically...
brian simpson
Right.
joe rogan
Like, apprehensive.
brian simpson
But that fight probably...
I think that fight turned Francis into a fucking monster.
joe rogan
Well, he came back from that like a beast.
And he knocked out Curtis Blades in one of his fights.
He knocked out Junior Dos Santos.
And the knockout of Stipe was just horrific.
Like, that knockout was wild.
Like, that knockout was just...
You know, it just showed...
First of all, it showed how good he had gotten.
Because it wasn't just that he knocked him out.
He did it patiently and with technique.
brian simpson
And he took him down a couple times, right?
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
No.
brian simpson
He didn't go to the ground with Stipe?
joe rogan
No, I don't believe so in the second fight.
brian simpson
Then what fight am I remembering then?
joe rogan
The first fight.
I'm pretty sure the second fight only took place on the feet.
brian simpson
I'm pretty sure.
joe rogan
The first fight, Stipe took him down a bunch of times.
brian simpson
No, I'm talking about Ngannou.
joe rogan
Took down Stipe?
brian simpson
I remember Ngannou taking a fight to the ground.
joe rogan
Oh, no, no.
That was Cyril gone.
brian simpson
Okay, right, right, right.
joe rogan
This is like the misinformation boxing and MMA podcast.
brian simpson
I'm too...
My memory's all fucked up right now.
joe rogan
That's the way!
brian simpson
But you're right, it's the Serogon fight.
joe rogan
Yeah, that was because Ngannou went into that fight with a torn ACL. Yeah, so his leg was fucked up.
He tore his ACL and his MCL. So he had two fucked up ligaments in his knee.
unidentified
What?
brian simpson
So why fight?
joe rogan
Because he wanted to win, and he wanted that money.
And he thought he could beat him even with a fucked up knee, and he was right.
So then, after the fight, he went and got surgery.
So he hasn't been back since.
And what they're trying to set up...
Is Francis Ngannou versus Jon Jones.
unidentified
Man.
brian simpson
And here's my thing.
Hey, Francis, I'm a huge fan, bro.
But please don't fight Jon Jones with nothing broken.
You know what I'm saying?
joe rogan
Well, they fixed his knee.
brian simpson
Oh, okay.
joe rogan
Yeah, he's got knee surgery.
He's rehabilitated it.
He's back, you know, I don't know what level of rehabilitation has been completed, but he's on track.
He's been surgically repaired.
brian simpson
Bro, I'm seeing that fight.
joe rogan
Yeah.
He's also using the UFC PI, I think.
He was using them a while.
He uses them for some things.
What's the PI? The Performance Institute.
brian simpson
Oh, okay.
joe rogan
There's a bunch of experts there.
They could give you good methods of healing injuries, and they're up on the latest science and latest studies.
They have a great facility, too.
The facility's fantastic, man.
It's just filled with heavy bags and a cage where you could film all your sparring sessions.
brian simpson
The hype for that fight.
joe rogan
Oh, my God.
brian simpson
But wait a minute.
joe rogan
It's going to be the biggest fight of all time.
brian simpson
You think John is going to...
You think that's going to be his first fight back?
joe rogan
Yeah, I do.
I think that's exactly what John wants to do.
brian simpson
I think it's a bad idea, but also I think he has his ego...
The way his ego is set up, he likes the idea of...
Of doing something that people think is crazy that can't be done?
joe rogan
I don't think it's a bad idea.
brian simpson
No?
joe rogan
No.
I don't think it's a bad idea at all.
brian simpson
Well, let me ask you this.
joe rogan
I think, first of all, both guys are going to be out of condition for a while.
Or out of competition, rather, for a while.
John's been out for a couple years now.
And Francis will be out for a year because of his surgery.
brian simpson
True.
joe rogan
So whenever it does take place, let's say they try to make it take place in the spring.
So if they do make it take place in the spring...
That is a long time off for both guys.
It's longer for Francis, for sure.
But it's still, they both have like a little bit of a layoff.
brian simpson
No, it's longer for John.
joe rogan
Oh, I'm sorry.
Longer for John, for sure.
That's what I meant.
I meant to say it the other way.
It favors Francis, for sure.
Because Francis is only like a year, whereas John is a couple years.
But a year is a long time to not fight.
I don't know if it's any better than...
Or worse, to do it once a year versus twice, or once every two years.
Both of them will give you a certain amount of ring rust.
brian simpson
But also, John's not only been out for two years, but now he's moving up a weight class.
He's never fought a heavyweight.
joe rogan
But he's trained with a lot of heavyweights, and the results were very favorable.
The stories that I had heard from Jackson Wink about John Jones and heavyweights made me think, why doesn't he just fight heavyweight?
Because at a certain point in time when he was dominating the light heavyweight division, there was some discussion about that.
After he knocked out Daniel Cormier, there was a lot of discussion about him.
Would he ever move up?
Here it says, UFC 285 odds.
Whoa.
John Jones is betting underdog against Francis Ngannou, but healthy favorite to wallop Curtis Blades.
Oh, so this is the story behind that.
So if Francis is not ready in time, if he's injured still, because, you know, knee rehabilitation, it's a tricky thing.
And, you know, you're not getting, like, up-to-date, like, updates of how he's doing every day.
So he might be training and might tweak it.
brian simpson
Mm.
joe rogan
Guys do that all the time.
brian simpson
Yeah.
joe rogan
And then it's another three months or another four months.
brian simpson
And you definitely can't fight that man with a torn nothing.
No!
joe rogan
Especially not John when it comes to wrestling, right?
Because he's going to utilize that advantage that he has.
John Jones took down Daniel Cormier.
You got to always remember that.
brian simpson
Oh, yeah, I remember.
joe rogan
But everybody's got to remember that because you think about like he was a junior college level champion, you know, he's an elite wrestler, but that's just because he went to junior college.
Like if Jon Jones was in another school, like a Division I school, he would have been a champion there too.
Jon Jones was a motherfucker of a wrestler.
And the way he takes guys down in the UFC and the way he would like manhandle guys, he's got immense physical strength.
It's fucking immense.
And he knows how to fight, man.
He knows how to win fights.
He knows how to do the right thing at the right time.
He's got an octagon IQ that's as high as anybody ever.
And he's also long as shit.
So he knows how to use that length.
brian simpson
And I think he also has that little extra something.
unidentified
Yeah, he's crazy.
brian simpson
Where he doesn't care if you die.
The way he throws some of them elbows is almost like he doesn't care if that elbow crushes your fucking skull.
You know, there's a little more intent with him when you see him hit people.
joe rogan
He's a bad man.
unidentified
There's no doubt about that.
brian simpson
He's a bad man.
joe rogan
One of the scariest John Jones finishes was when he choked unconscious Leo to Machida and just dropped him.
brian simpson
Yeah, standing up?
joe rogan
Yeah, he had him in a standing guillotine, put him to sleep, and just dropped him like a sack of potatoes.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
That was dark.
brian simpson
Yeah, he's vicious.
joe rogan
That was dark.
brian simpson
And what kind of dog does he have?
He says a Malinois?
joe rogan
Malinois.
brian simpson
A Malinois.
joe rogan
Belgium Malinois.
There are Dangerous dogs.
brian simpson
Yeah, it's crazy to have that.
joe rogan
They're little raptors.
brian simpson
He's a different kind of person, man.
joe rogan
He does tactical training all day, dude.
You ever see those videos that he posts?
He's really good.
He's very skillful with guns.
brian simpson
I stopped following him.
I'm still a fan, but the day-to-day social media shit, very rarely do I follow the people that I really like because I don't want...
It's like, I'd rather just like what you do.
You know what I mean?
joe rogan
I get it.
brian simpson
I don't want to see your everyday shit.
joe rogan
Yeah.
brian simpson
Yeah.
joe rogan
I get it.
Some people overshare.
brian simpson
Yeah, or it's like there's a...
Because you're in a position now where you can meet almost whoever you want.
And it's like, how many times have you met somebody you've been a fan of for years and you've just been a disappointment?
You know what I mean?
joe rogan
Yeah, that does happen.
But it also doesn't happen.
Like, I met Jared Leto.
And he's really cool.
He's a really nice guy.
He was friends with Theo.
brian simpson
But you're definitely rolling the dice.
joe rogan
You're rolling the dice, but every now and then...
I don't even know, man.
I've met enough of them that I'm thinking maybe I'm prejudiced.
You look at famous people, in particular, actors, and you just almost want them to be douchebags.
So you look at it in a biased sense.
Chris Pratt is one of the nicest people I've ever met in my life.
He's so friendly.
brian simpson
Didn't we meet him in Vegas?
I think I met him in Vegas with you.
joe rogan
Yes.
brian simpson
Okay.
joe rogan
I believe you did.
I believe you did.
He's the sweetheart.
He's the nicest guy.
He's like a legitimate Christian and like a really kind, friendly person.
brian simpson
Yeah?
joe rogan
I went elk hunting with him.
unidentified
Yeah.
brian simpson
I mean, you know what?
joe rogan
He's nice to everybody, man.
It's not fake.
He's like a really, really good guy.
brian simpson
What I've noticed is that the people that are secure in their careers are usually cool people.
joe rogan
Yeah, but it's like, how are you secure in that business?
It's always in flux.
You're always coming and going.
brian simpson
I think he's at peace with that.
He's at peace with that.
It's just like when you meet Jim Carrey or somebody like that, or Keanu Reeves, and you hear about how nice and how sweet they are.
I think they've just come to peace with, as much as that business can fuck you up, they've Because the reason Hollywood fucks you up is because they start making you care about things that...
Aren't real or don't really matter, and you lose sight of what really matters.
But the people that hold on to what matters, like it's oxygen, they're the ones that come out the other side pretty okay.
joe rogan
Yeah, you can do it.
It's like you can win the Tour de France.
People have won it.
brian simpson
Yeah.
joe rogan
But for most people, it's just a pressure cooker that fucks with your head to a point where it's really hard to maintain.
brian simpson
Especially when you're a star.
unidentified
Right.
joe rogan
Especially when you're Will Smith.
brian simpson
And nobody checks you.
Nobody ever goes, hey, bitch, be quiet.
unidentified
Will Smith.
brian simpson
Right, right.
Like, how long has it been since somebody's been like, shut your stupid ass up?
joe rogan
That guy, that moment was the first moment like that probably ever for him.
brian simpson
Where he lost control?
joe rogan
Well, not just that he lost control.
He did it publicly.
He showed his ass in front of the whole world and he was humiliated by it.
Everybody was mad at him.
There's a few people that supported him initially.
Like, you don't talk shit about a man's girlfriend.
But he didn't even talk shit.
It was a mild joke.
It was like a dad joke.
brian simpson
Now he's trying to make the comeback with the slave movie.
joe rogan
Well, I think they were already filming that.
brian simpson
I think it's already out.
joe rogan
Yeah, but I think they were already working on that.
brian simpson
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
But I think he's just hoping that people forget.
joe rogan
I might be wrong about that, but I was under the impression they were...
Was that true, Jimmy?
jamie vernon
Or they made it in the last five months, which seems a little...
brian simpson
No, no, no.
joe rogan
Yeah, I think they were already working on that.
brian simpson
Is it out on Apple TV already?
joe rogan
Yeah.
brian simpson
But I... You know what, though?
I don't know because I'm so much...
Like, pretty much everyone in my life is a comedian.
So it's hard for me to know if...
The average person feels the way I feel, because it's hard for me to overlook it.
joe rogan
Yeah, you don't have to overlook it.
You know, just forgive them.
People do stupid shit, and they lose their fucking head, and they do things in a way that they think is justified, whether it's because they're famous, Or because it's deserved or the relationship they have with their significant other that leads them to believe that they have to defend that woman or she's going to be upset at them later and they would rather just go on stage and smack Chris Rock in front of everybody.
But you can tell that he had lost his mind because he was saying, keep my wife's name out your fucking mouth.
And he was saying it and the whole place was silent.
And he had to realize that the whole place was silent.
And he had to realize why those words were coming out of his mouth.
This was on television, in the Academy Awards, and he was scheduled to win an Oscar.
And he's like, am I still winning this fucking Oscar?
Like, what is going to happen now?
What the fuck did I do?
And then to have it go from that to not knowing how the world's perceiving it, to then you go on stage, and you cry, and you apologize, and they give you an Oscar, and everyone gives you a standing ovation.
So you think it's over?
brian simpson
Yeah.
So maybe there's no Wi-Fi at the Oscars?
You know?
Edit that shit out.
jamie vernon
They knew what was going on.
joe rogan
What's that?
jamie vernon
They knew what was going on.
There was people talking to them like in the commercial breaks.
joe rogan
Right, but I don't think he probably fully grasped.
After everyone gave him a standing ovation, I bet he still thought he was okay.
brian simpson
Yeah, man.
Because you got to understand the world they live in.
joe rogan
I think a lot of...
I mean, he was dancing at the fucking party, the after party.
jamie vernon
Yeah, Puff Daddy came up on stage and was like, we're going to have to talk about this later.
joe rogan
Yeah, I mean, he shouldn't have done it.
It's a fucking tremendous mistake.
brian simpson
But the miscalculation is that you don't control Twitter, man.
joe rogan
But it's also...
Are you going to like...
You're going to dismiss all the great movies that guy's made?
I Am Legend?
brian simpson
No.
joe rogan
I, Robot?
All these...
I mean, he made some killer fucking movies.
Is he useless now?
brian simpson
No.
joe rogan
Let the guy realize he fucked up.
I mean, Chris Rock is the one who really has to forgive him if he forgives him.
If he forgives him, it's basically over.
brian simpson
And I think he will eventually.
joe rogan
Maybe.
Maybe Chris is like, that was like his sign that, you know, all that, to be smacked in the face and then they give that same guy a standing ovation.
Like, these are the people I'm working with?
brian simpson
Yeah, fuck these people.
Why am I working with these people?
I think that shit unlocks some shit.
joe rogan
Exactly.
brian simpson
Well, dude, he's been murdering.
Murdering.
joe rogan
Like old school bring the pain, Chris Rock.
brian simpson
Yeah, because I think he got freed.
Because like I said, Patrice called it the golden handcuffs.
It's like, The deeper you get in Hollywood, it's like the more they give you, the more they give you, the more they give you, but all that shit come with at any time we can yank it away.
And it's like as soon as you stop giving a fuck about all that, like take it motherfucker.
Like if you have that, I think it opens up something for you.
joe rogan
Also at the same time he starts going on tour with Dave Chappelle.
brian simpson
Yeah.
joe rogan
Which is amazing.
So he was doing his own tour, and then Dave and him combined, and then they're doing a series of shows.
They did London.
They're doing all over the fucking world.
brian simpson
And they're taking rigging on.
joe rogan
Yep.
Took rigging on.
I ran into them.
We all had, we went to Pasta Bar.
Phillip's place.
unidentified
Here?
joe rogan
Yeah.
brian simpson
Oh, that must have been great.
joe rogan
Oh, it was amazing.
Chris and I, we text each other, and after the shows, I had a show with the Vulcan, and he had a show with the fucking giant.
brian simpson
Phillip's dope, man.
joe rogan
He's the best.
brian simpson
We went to his house for Thanksgiving.
joe rogan
Yeah, he's the best.
brian simpson
Yeah, these motherfuckers had the nerve to have a potluck.
joe rogan
Oh, no.
unidentified
Right.
joe rogan
Like Philip Franklin Lee?
brian simpson
Right, right.
Philip Franklin Lee is like one of the best chefs in the world.
And his wife is one of the best pastry chefs in the world.
And all of us are bringing our little fucking, you know, our little dishes to there.
joe rogan
So he set us up at Pasta Bar late night.
They did a late night seating.
It was me and Chris and who else?
William Montgomery went, Tony Hinchcliffe.
unidentified
Oh, shit.
joe rogan
Oh, yeah, dude.
It was amazing.
A couple of Chris's friends, we had a great fucking time.
They gave us wine pairings and food.
We ate till like 1.30 in the morning.
brian simpson
Yeah, that's the one thing that would make me break my...
Because I'm going to do what you said.
We're going to do a public...
Weight loss.
I'm gonna go hold the whole month of January.
joe rogan
Don't think of it as weight loss.
This is what you gotta think of.
brian simpson
Lifestyle change.
unidentified
Yes.
brian simpson
Adjustment.
joe rogan
Yes.
Just think of it as a life change.
brian simpson
Yeah.
joe rogan
Like, and you can do it.
It's not that hard.
If you can do stand-up, you could do this.
brian simpson
Yeah.
joe rogan
All you have to do is, like I was telling you about that Sober October thing, like, you know, the committing to 500 calories or committing to writing for two hours.
Just commit.
Doing a certain amount of exercise every day, and you don't have to make it 500 calories.
That's a lot.
You should build up to that, but you could start off with 150. Start off with 150 calories.
That's a reasonable amount of calories for one workout.
brian simpson
Oh, burning that minute.
unidentified
Yeah, burning.
brian simpson
Oh, I thought you meant only eating that minute.
No, no, no, no.
joe rogan
You'll be dead.
You'll be dead.
I'm sorry.
You get a chest trap.
That's what I'm saying.
Let's not think about...
Like losing weight.
What you really want to think about is being healthy and weight will just come off.
Especially if you just eat healthy.
brian simpson
You know what I realized, Joe, recently?
I realized that discipline is also a muscle.
And it's one of mine that I've allowed to atrophy.
It's not enough to just know what to do, but the will to do it.
To, like, will yourself past your...
Like, you say it every day.
Your inner bitch.
joe rogan
Yeah.
brian simpson
The ability...
Because you've seen a man whose wife is, like, mean to them.
And you just look at him like, oh, you poor motherfucker.
It's like...
And it's like...
That's what it's like.
Your inner bitch is, like, belittling you.
And to...
To stand up to that.
That's a muscle.
And that's what it is.
Just the discipline to make myself do something every day other than comedy.
Because that was my problem.
I let everything fall by the wayside to do comedy.
To just focus on comedy.
And it worked.
It made me good at comedy pretty quick.
But now that I'm in the midst of the success, you've got to be healthy to do this.
To actually be on the road every weekend and constantly writing and constantly auditioning.
joe rogan
It beats you up if you're not.
brian simpson
Yeah, and I let all of that go.
And it's like, now I've got to focus on that.
joe rogan
But the most important thing is you've done it before.
So you can get in shape again.
brian simpson
Oh yeah, I can definitely get in shape.
joe rogan
All you have to do is make a number and do that number every day.
So we'll get you a Polar chest strap.
That's what I use.
You can use any one you want, but the chest strap seems to be the one.
It's a heart monitor.
So it works with an application.
So you put it on.
It's a strap.
You wrap it around.
It's a little sensor.
It sits right here, and you have an app on your phone, and you start your workout.
And it'll tell you what your heart rate is at any given time, and it'll tell you when you get to whatever your calorie goal is.
So you just decide On, you know, whatever the number is.
I think 150 is a good number to start with.
And you just do it every fucking day.
Every single day.
Don't ever take a day off.
Unless you're sick.
If you're sick, don't work out.
But if you're not sick, don't take the day off.
brian simpson
You don't work out when you're sick?
joe rogan
No.
brian simpson
Oh.
joe rogan
No, when I'm sick, I give my body a chance to recover.
brian simpson
Because you know what I hear in my head when I... Whenever I was taking care of myself and I would be sick, I would hear that dude, fuck, I forget his fucking name, but you know who I'm talking about.
He had a heart thing, but at first he had the record.
joe rogan
C.T. Fletcher?
brian simpson
C.T. Fletcher.
joe rogan
That's my man.
brian simpson
He's just your fucking set.
joe rogan
Yeah.
brian simpson
Yeah!
I would always hear that.
joe rogan
My daughter was wearing his hoodie the other day.
brian simpson
Really?
joe rogan
And I said, do you know what that stands for?
brian simpson
She doesn't.
joe rogan
She goes, no.
I go, this is my 14-year-old, so it's okay.
I go, it's still your motherfucking set.
brian simpson
Right!
joe rogan
And she goes, no, it doesn't.
I go, that's what that means.
brian simpson
That's what it means.
joe rogan
That's what it means.
That's C.T. Fletcher.
brian simpson
Yeah.
joe rogan
It's still your motherfucking set.
That's that mentality.
brian simpson
It is.
joe rogan
He had a crazy mentality when it comes to work ethic and pushing himself.
brian simpson
He's got like that David Garkins, whatever the fuck gene they got.
joe rogan
It's just Drive.
brian simpson
Bro, imagine if you imagine if you could get David Garkins If you could mix the genes of David Goggins and Jon Jones' mom.
Because don't forget, her other son is in the NFL. Yeah, well, you know, it's the grandma.
joe rogan
The grandma is...
brian simpson
Oh, okay.
joe rogan
Jon Jones told me.
He's like, this is grandma.
It's where we get all our genes from.
brian simpson
What is grandma?
joe rogan
Grandma is like a super athlete.
brian simpson
No way!
joe rogan
You should see her.
She's such a specimen of womanhood.
brian simpson
She's still alive.
joe rogan
She's still alive.
brian simpson
And what's she do?
joe rogan
I don't know, man, but she'll fuck me up.
If that lady was mad at me, I'd be fucking terrified.
brian simpson
Yeah, I bet.
unidentified
I bet.
joe rogan
For real.
And his brother's a star in the NFL, and his other brother's a star in the NFL. Yeah, it's insane.
And both of them could have fought.
Both of them could have fought.
And his brother, I think Arthur had done a lot of...
I think it's his brother Arthur.
Is that the bigger one?
Chandler's the bigger one.
jamie vernon
Chandler's younger, Arthur's older though.
joe rogan
I think it's the older brother.
I think it's Arthur.
Arthur's done a bunch of MMA training.
There's like videos of him training and people were speculating that he was gonna have a fight.
Dude, that's a family.
brian simpson
Do you think?
joe rogan
Yeah.
But out of all of them, I mean, look what John Jones has done, man, for fighting, man.
brian simpson
Yeah.
joe rogan
It's incredible.
brian simpson
Yeah, because the thing is, as athletic...
joe rogan
That's his grandma.
Look at her.
brian simpson
Wow.
joe rogan
She's so strong, man.
brian simpson
But as athletic as the whole family is, it's like none of them are the greatest at what they're doing.
joe rogan
He's the greatest.
Yeah, well, it's hard.
brian simpson
I think GSP is the, and again, this is me being a slightly above filthy casual, but I think GSP is the only person where you could really make an argument.
joe rogan
For all-time great?
brian simpson
Yeah.
joe rogan
You can make an argument for Khabib, too.
Khabib, he retired undefeated.
Jon Jones is also undefeated, I should say.
Jon Jones has one loss on his career, and it's a bullshit loss, where he destroyed the dude, but he was hitting him with downward elbows, which is the dumbest fucking rule in the game.
The absolute dumbest rule in the game.
You can hit a guy with any kind of elbow except for a downward elbow.
That makes zero sense.
You can block that the same way you block any other kind of elbow.
Side elbows, downward elbow.
You can figure out a way to block it.
It has to be a weapon.
The reason why it was made illegal is so stupid.
It has to do with people being ignorant way back in the early days of MMA. They thought you'd break bricks with it on TV so you can't have that in the octagon.
It's too dangerous.
Really.
That's how Big John McCarthy talks about it.
It was his experience with these people.
brian simpson
Bro, these athletic commissions, they are so slow to change.
joe rogan
Some of them are.
Some of them are really good.
California's really good.
brian simpson
Vegas is really good.
I remember seeing something recently about the biggest bullshit decisions.
I don't think they've ever overturned.
I don't think they've ever overturned.
Even the most egregious, unfair bullshit, they've never overturned.
joe rogan
Yeah, I don't think they have either.
I don't know if that's a fact, but I don't know with any offhand that I could pull a lot of shit out of the top of my head.
It's like you got Jon Jones, you got Khabib, you got GSP. I still say BJ Penn in his prime at lightweight.
Motherfucker.
You for sure have Khabib.
Kamaru could have been right there.
brian simpson
Yeah.
joe rogan
If Kamaru didn't lose to Leon.
If Kamaru just moved away for that last minute of that last round and didn't get head kicked.
People would be talking about Kamaru in that same category.
brian simpson
They already were.
joe rogan
Dominated everybody, man.
brian simpson
And he might still come back.
joe rogan
He might still come back.
But he's had some real problems with his injuries.
Knee injuries that are real bad.
Hand injury that he had to get surgery on.
He's had some real problems.
brian simpson
I think when he won the title...
It was something wrong with his foot.
joe rogan
Well, I think so.
Well, he also had bad knees forever.
Like, real bad.
Like, since college.
brian simpson
Just like wrestling?
joe rogan
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Real bad.
Like, fucked up cartilage.
Like, constant pain.
Where, like, he had to go downstairs backwards While he was training for a fight, his knees were in so much pain that he'd go downstairs backwards.
And then when he would walk on like sidewalks and there's grass next to it, he'd walk on the grass because it didn't hurt his knees.
That's the kind of pain.
That's the kind of mental strength he has to be able to fight.
He's just willfully destroying his knees.
And if you look at his body, his legs, like the size and the musculature of his legs is not Comparable to the musculature of his upper body and I've always wondered if that's related because if you look at his upper body He's fucking shredded and jacked,
brian simpson
but he has fairly small legs for a guy that big but like severe knee problems You know it makes I think about it all the time, but man fighters are the most Used up and thrown away people for what they give up for the chance to be great But if you can do it, the glory for many of them.
Yeah, but even after the glory, we throw them away.
The moment they start getting knocked out, people start...
joe rogan
Their time is done.
The thing is, do they deserve more?
What do they deserve?
Well, some of them get to do commentary, which is great.
DC has transitioned into commentary, which is brilliant.
It's perfect.
The perfect amount of losses, the perfect time in his life.
He steps out.
That's a wrap.
brian simpson
And he's good at it.
joe rogan
He's very good at it.
And he has a unique skill set in wrestling.
He can describe wrestling better than anybody.
brian simpson
But a lot of fighters, though, when they're in their career, they yell, he's sounding like Herschel Walker.
joe rogan
Yeah.
Dominic Cruz is really good at it, too.
So is Michael Bisping.
So is Paul Felder.
There's a lot of guys that wind up doing other stuff and they become successful at it.
It's totally possible.
It's just real hard.
It's a real hard transition.
brian simpson
Yeah, because there's more people that's like...
Yeah, Mark Hunt where like they end up having to fight well past their primes just to keep food on the table.
joe rogan
Do you know Mark Hunt just won, beat an undefeated boxer by knockout?
brian simpson
What?
joe rogan
Yep, in Australia.
Huge, huge fight.
This guy was this up-and-coming undefeated prospect and it was this big deal that he was gonna fight Mark Hunt.
Mark Hunt was a huge underdog and knocked this dude out cold.
You want to watch it?
Let's watch it, yeah.
This podcast is a thousand hours long.
brian simpson
I know, right?
How long we been talking?
joe rogan
Hours.
It's 6.30.
Four and a half hours.
unidentified
What?
joe rogan
Brian Simpson.
We haven't even got up to pee.
brian simpson
I know, dude.
I got up to pee so bad.
joe rogan
So we'll watch this and we'll wrap this up.
brian simpson
All right, yeah.
Let's wrap it up.
joe rogan
Let's give props to Mark Hunt.
A legend.
A legit legend.
I mean, Mark Hunt.
jamie vernon
Was it in K-1?
joe rogan
No, it was in Australia.
It was a boxing match.
Mark Hunt boxing match.
I think the dude's initials were RSV or something like that.
I wasn't aware of who this dude was.
jamie vernon
A month ago?
joe rogan
Yes.
He's an undefeated young boxer and it was supposed to be, you know, a fight where he was gonna show the world because Mark Hunt is this famous UFC fighter, K1 champion.
Mark Hunt went the K1 Grand Prix.
Way back in the day.
Marcon's been fighting forever.
brian simpson
He was nasty with it.
unidentified
Dude.
joe rogan
A tank.
Also had the greatest chin of all time.
He got head kicked by Cro Cop and got right back up.
jamie vernon
Weird.
joe rogan
When Cro Cop was wearing shoes.
Cro Cop was wearing wrestling shoes.
brian simpson
Oh, yeah.
joe rogan
And he head kicked him.
brian simpson
Yo, why do you think it is that People don't stay atop the heavyweight division that long.
joe rogan
It's the power those guys have.
You get hit by a guy that big.
brian simpson
So many people that were heavyweights where it was like, this person's the GOAT, and then the next person's like, no, it was this person.
joe rogan
If you're a guy like, here it is.
Boom, boom, boom.
So this is Mark Hunt teeing off, and this is this young, undefeated fighter.
jamie vernon
Sonny Bill Williams was his name.
joe rogan
Sonny Bill Williams, SBW. And Mark Hunt just KO'd him.
brian simpson
How does Mark Hunt even still talk straight?
joe rogan
He talks great.
brian simpson
Yeah.
joe rogan
Dude, he's got no problem.
Whatever that gene is, you get more CTE if you have that gene.
brian simpson
That's like that Samoan shit.
joe rogan
APOE4. Yeah, exactly.
brian simpson
Oh, hold on.
Are you serious?
joe rogan
Yes.
brian simpson
There's a gene.
joe rogan
There's a gene that leads you to have a higher likelihood of CTE. Wow.
I believe it's called APOE4. Yeah.
Brian Simpson, I love you to death.
Let's go pee.
brian simpson
Let's go pee, dude.
joe rogan
This is a lot of fun.
Do some shows tonight.
brian simpson
Yeah, love you too, man.
unidentified
Thank you.
Love you too.
Export Selection